1 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:05,400 Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast. 2 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:12,400 Speaker 2: All Right, everyone, welcome to this week's podcast episode. This 3 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:17,319 Speaker 2: is a very special podcast that we're having because me, 4 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:23,240 Speaker 2: Kristen and Catherine have our men joining today's wind down. 5 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:25,880 Speaker 3: Bring your husband no words? 6 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:30,960 Speaker 4: Whose idea was this? 7 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:36,440 Speaker 3: Who do you think your worst? Probably No, I don't 8 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:38,880 Speaker 3: think it was mine. Okay, here it was mine. 9 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:41,360 Speaker 2: You're the producer, right, So what I what I said 10 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:48,640 Speaker 2: was what it had started with. I think it would 11 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 2: be maybe helpful for Alan if maybe Preston came on 12 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:56,920 Speaker 2: to kind of say like, hey, this is what you 13 00:00:57,560 --> 00:00:59,320 Speaker 2: are going to have to look forward to. 14 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 3: Is that how we're framing it? Kramer? 15 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:10,480 Speaker 5: Yeah, right after after birth? 16 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:13,160 Speaker 3: All the things and the words after birth. Let's make 17 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:17,680 Speaker 3: that a groups. 18 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:18,720 Speaker 5: Like after the birth. I left out the word the Okay. 19 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 2: So that's where I'm like, you know, because I think 20 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:24,800 Speaker 2: there's pieces of things that we've talked about on wind 21 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,679 Speaker 2: Down about postpartum, right, because there's something that Alan had said, 22 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,360 Speaker 2: maybe like a month or so ago, we're oh. 23 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:35,120 Speaker 3: Changed for those that are not in the room, said 24 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:37,480 Speaker 3: we need a narration moment. 25 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:41,840 Speaker 2: Well no, because he had just basically said, you know, 26 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:44,080 Speaker 2: once the baby's out, You're going to be fine. And 27 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:50,440 Speaker 2: I had this moment like of extreme inaccuracy because that's. 28 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:52,600 Speaker 5: No, I'm kind of i mean, what do you mean? 29 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:53,880 Speaker 5: What do you mean? Well? 30 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,160 Speaker 2: Right, So I think what he meant was because I'm 31 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:58,280 Speaker 2: just so uncomfortable and I've been sick and i've been 32 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:02,360 Speaker 2: you know, just not been able to do the things 33 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:03,680 Speaker 2: that I want to do and feel the way that 34 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:06,600 Speaker 2: I want to feel. And what I heard though when 35 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:08,680 Speaker 2: he said that was what. 36 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:10,880 Speaker 4: Was extreme inaccuracy. 37 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,480 Speaker 5: Yeah, Bud in Allen's defense. 38 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:16,600 Speaker 2: You know, but what I heard was that for me, 39 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:20,840 Speaker 2: I'm like, man, the fourth what postpartum is the most 40 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 2: emotional piece and there's still a lot like I'm not 41 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:26,600 Speaker 2: going to just be fine afterwards. And I'm sure you've 42 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 2: witnessed a lot of postpartum, Kristin, Oh, yeah, for sure. 43 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:34,760 Speaker 2: And so you know and and in In you know, 44 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:38,360 Speaker 2: you you don't men. I don't think men realize that postpartum. 45 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 5: I don't even know what postpartum was. 46 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:41,959 Speaker 6: They don't have that in the UK. 47 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:46,480 Speaker 5: They don't serious. It's a United States. 48 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 6: They just don't have that. Everything's fine. 49 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,959 Speaker 3: They don't have Miles and they don't have a postpartum 50 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:55,800 Speaker 3: just kilometers and smooth sailing. 51 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,840 Speaker 6: Yeah, okay, no even hailed of it. 52 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,840 Speaker 3: You've never heard of best part of ever. 53 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:06,880 Speaker 5: Really, I had never heard of it till she says 54 00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:09,720 Speaker 5: she had it. I was like, something's going on, though, 55 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,440 Speaker 5: and so we figured it out. I guess that's what 56 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:14,760 Speaker 5: I say. We don't telling anything. 57 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 3: And we broadcast broadcast. 58 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,120 Speaker 5: I will say this though, like the stuff that he's 59 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,760 Speaker 5: probably talking about, like being sick and stuff like last 60 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:25,280 Speaker 5: night I heard her say, remember when I was sick 61 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:29,360 Speaker 5: every single day with our baby lying, and then now 62 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:32,480 Speaker 5: the sickness went away. I mean the second that baby 63 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 5: was born, the sickness was over. So in his defense, 64 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:36,920 Speaker 5: I could be kind of what he's talking about. You're 65 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,880 Speaker 5: gonna be all right here in a minute. 66 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,760 Speaker 3: Sure, But. 67 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,040 Speaker 6: The biggest thing is your discomfort and a lot of 68 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 6: things like pressing. You said will be lave you and disappear. 69 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:53,240 Speaker 6: I'm not talking. It wasn't referencing hormones or behavior. 70 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:55,520 Speaker 3: Well, this is good. We don't have to start from scratch, 71 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 3: because I thought we were starting from scratch. 72 00:03:58,040 --> 00:03:59,920 Speaker 2: So you do know that the post there is a 73 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,240 Speaker 2: there's a fourth partum or right? Is that? How it's 74 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:07,840 Speaker 2: the fourth trimuster essentially, is what they call it, the 75 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:10,440 Speaker 2: postpartum and there are hormones after that. 76 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:15,200 Speaker 7: She's going to ratchet up the crazy little bit. And 77 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 7: then Bill Kirk, well, I think. 78 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:25,200 Speaker 3: That's actually offensive. Yeah, I would say, oh, because. 79 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,280 Speaker 2: It's And I love you and I can say that 80 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:31,240 Speaker 2: because you're like a brother to me. But women's hormones 81 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:35,400 Speaker 2: after babies are crazy, Like I remember both being like, 82 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:38,920 Speaker 2: I'm bawling and I have no your hormones are you 83 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:39,679 Speaker 2: feel crazy? 84 00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:41,560 Speaker 7: It doesn't make sense to you either, I mean it 85 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,479 Speaker 7: makes sense to him. If not makes sense to It's 86 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 7: just something you have to go through. 87 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:47,920 Speaker 3: Well, and let us not all forget the extreme sleep 88 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:50,680 Speaker 3: deprivation one goes into and why it's considered a torture 89 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,440 Speaker 3: technique for a reason. So we're in the midst of 90 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,720 Speaker 3: hormones and balance. Your body is not the same. Your 91 00:04:56,760 --> 00:05:01,599 Speaker 3: recovery after a C section is longer than other recoveries, 92 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:07,080 Speaker 3: and on top of it, you're not sleeping and this 93 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,480 Speaker 3: time we're pushing forty. 94 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:11,240 Speaker 5: Sounds like a storm. 95 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:16,080 Speaker 2: I mean, so, Presley, what has been the hardest thing 96 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:17,640 Speaker 2: for you post baby with Kristen? 97 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:21,440 Speaker 3: Which time, Well, let's just talk. Let's just talk this time. 98 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 5: This time, we just need more help. We need help 99 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,720 Speaker 5: because I'm gone like crazy. You know, We're doing two 100 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,160 Speaker 5: hundred shows a year. I'm gone all the time. And 101 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,640 Speaker 5: she's just being a superhero the best that she can. 102 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:34,040 Speaker 5: And she's tired, and I don't know how she does 103 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:36,880 Speaker 5: it like she's you know, some days if I'm gone 104 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,000 Speaker 5: on a Monday, still she's she's up all night with 105 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:43,080 Speaker 5: baby lying, and then six fifteen, you know, six am, 106 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:45,320 Speaker 5: she's up making lunches and she's getting the kids off 107 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:48,440 Speaker 5: to school, and you know, just packing that third kid 108 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:50,920 Speaker 5: in the car is the whole thing, Like just getting 109 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:53,520 Speaker 5: that baby ready and getting it in the car so 110 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,719 Speaker 5: that the other two well, I mean, I don't know 111 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:58,000 Speaker 5: how she does it, but you know, so that's been 112 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:00,599 Speaker 5: the hardest thing, is like how do we find good help? 113 00:06:00,839 --> 00:06:04,640 Speaker 5: Who is good help? And does she she has to 114 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:07,799 Speaker 5: love them too, like the help. We can't just get help, 115 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:10,400 Speaker 5: Like we need someone that's going to be cohesive. 116 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:14,599 Speaker 3: He wanted to move someone in. He wanted a no pairt. 117 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:19,359 Speaker 6: I've got a solution on the Postpotomo, Come stay with you, 118 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:22,040 Speaker 6: I'll help you. 119 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:22,840 Speaker 5: Great. 120 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,360 Speaker 3: Well this works out perfectly because it's actually our baby anyway, 121 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:26,880 Speaker 3: So this is like magic. 122 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:30,800 Speaker 5: I think that's the toughest part, though, it's finding that 123 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,960 Speaker 5: finding that sweet spot where she gets to still be 124 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:37,599 Speaker 5: mom and still feel like mom, spend all the hours 125 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:39,440 Speaker 5: because she wants to spend time with all the kids, 126 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:41,880 Speaker 5: but also she needs the breaks and I'm not there 127 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:44,920 Speaker 5: to give her breaks, and so that's with the third kid, 128 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,200 Speaker 5: it's become a lot. 129 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,480 Speaker 3: I would say third time feels a little like the 130 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:53,520 Speaker 3: charm for us though, like Love's postpartum our first was 131 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,080 Speaker 3: would you agree, horrendous? 132 00:06:56,120 --> 00:07:01,760 Speaker 5: Horrible, horrible, And it wasn't just another trimester. It was 133 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,440 Speaker 5: like a year. It was a year. It was a 134 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:05,680 Speaker 5: whole school year, just that, you know, just like a 135 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,080 Speaker 5: whole man. I didn't know what we were in. I 136 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:10,480 Speaker 5: didn't know what postpartum was. I was looking it up. 137 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:12,080 Speaker 3: Well when you were in Mexico most of the time. 138 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:14,080 Speaker 3: So that was straight heard. 139 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,360 Speaker 5: I heard a doctor mention it in the in the 140 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,080 Speaker 5: room and the doctor looks at her, she says, you know, 141 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,760 Speaker 5: are you thinking about hurting yourself? And I'm like, well, 142 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:25,600 Speaker 5: are we talking about? Like what is this? And then 143 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:28,240 Speaker 5: all of a sudden they're like you know, and all 144 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,400 Speaker 5: these different symptoms that you need to be And then 145 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:32,200 Speaker 5: she turned to me and I said, well, I'm not 146 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,360 Speaker 5: watching for any of this. I didn't even know this 147 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:35,720 Speaker 5: was a thing like you because I. 148 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:39,400 Speaker 3: Scored low on the questionnaire, the postpartum questionnaire for like 149 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:40,160 Speaker 3: post screening. 150 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 5: I know she was just in her own level of 151 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:45,760 Speaker 5: just trying to get out of the fog. And I 152 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 5: didn't even know there was a fog. And so once 153 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:51,440 Speaker 5: I started understanding what it was, then I started feeling like, 154 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,320 Speaker 5: here's where I can meet her in the fog a 155 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 5: little bit and try to help, you know, if I can. 156 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:58,840 Speaker 3: But and how did you What would be a tip 157 00:07:58,920 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 3: for new dads. 158 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:03,080 Speaker 5: Get out of Bed's a lot of patience. Get out 159 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,000 Speaker 5: of bed, would them? 160 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:06,520 Speaker 3: Get them? 161 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,560 Speaker 5: Don't go to bed, start a band and go on 162 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:13,600 Speaker 5: the road. Cry don't go turkey hunting the first morning 163 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:17,120 Speaker 5: your home. Don't do that. Maybe the third morning your home, 164 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:18,840 Speaker 5: you know, but don't go first morning your home. 165 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,360 Speaker 7: I did go coach a football game in the day 166 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:23,280 Speaker 7: that Emmy was born. 167 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 1: I think it was Ramsey, But at that point with 168 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:27,280 Speaker 1: the third I'm like, go do what you gotta do 169 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,200 Speaker 1: with the other kids. I mean I was at that point. 170 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:30,640 Speaker 1: But to that, I was going to say, I think 171 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:33,280 Speaker 1: it's very important to also keep in mind there's so 172 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:36,360 Speaker 1: many different levels of it. Like I think all moms 173 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:37,880 Speaker 1: cry at the drop of a hat after they have 174 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:41,520 Speaker 1: a baby. Sure don't don't expect that, and that's normal, 175 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,600 Speaker 1: but to keep an eye on that because it can 176 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:45,760 Speaker 1: get so much further and be past that. But like, 177 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:48,720 Speaker 1: you know, I didn't have postpartum, but I did, you know, 178 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:49,880 Speaker 1: cry at the drop of a hat. So I just 179 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:52,280 Speaker 1: think it's very important to watch that there's such different 180 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,640 Speaker 1: levels of it, and some of it is normal and 181 00:08:54,679 --> 00:08:57,280 Speaker 1: not into not that postpartum depression is not normal, but 182 00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,440 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, and then into postpartum. 183 00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:01,480 Speaker 5: I think it's also when I think back on to it, 184 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:05,760 Speaker 5: I remember being becoming like unconnected. We were just unconnected 185 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:09,920 Speaker 5: because she's trying to stay connected to the kid. You know, 186 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:14,120 Speaker 5: it's a newborn and they're connected. And some people say 187 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,080 Speaker 5: that the kid still feels like they're in their mom 188 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,079 Speaker 5: for like three months. They don't even figure out that 189 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:19,880 Speaker 5: they're not in their mom for a minute, you know. 190 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 5: And so I had never even heard that concept before. 191 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 5: So here we are falling apart from each other. She's 192 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:29,160 Speaker 5: getting closer to the baby, but now there's this new 193 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:32,120 Speaker 5: dynamic in the house, and it was my job to 194 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:34,240 Speaker 5: stay connected to her. It's not her job to stay 195 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,559 Speaker 5: connected to me and these kids. And so I had 196 00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:41,040 Speaker 5: to figure that out that I had to like focus 197 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:44,360 Speaker 5: on me and her as well and stay connected, and 198 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,800 Speaker 5: that would make me connected to the baby more probably. 199 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,400 Speaker 5: And so because a lot of dads, let's be real, 200 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,080 Speaker 5: a lot of dads are like, oh man, this is 201 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,240 Speaker 5: so awesome to have a new kid. And then when 202 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,320 Speaker 5: the mom was not around, we're like, what do we 203 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:58,880 Speaker 5: do this thing? Like it's screaming at me? And when 204 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:00,960 Speaker 5: mom walks in, she can hold it and tap it 205 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,800 Speaker 5: just right and everything goes away. But we're like, I've 206 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:06,559 Speaker 5: given it a bottle of given it a beer, I've 207 00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:11,760 Speaker 5: tried anything, just please stop crying, and nothing works, you know, 208 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,960 Speaker 5: so we get you know, yeah, it's probably wild to 209 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:15,840 Speaker 5: us and confusing. 210 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:19,400 Speaker 7: So I don't think a lot is the logistics, you know. 211 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,440 Speaker 7: I mean, you're going through all the chemical stuff, but 212 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:25,840 Speaker 7: you're as your third fourth or whatever, now you're adding 213 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:29,120 Speaker 7: logistics on top of it. So you have the frustration 214 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:33,280 Speaker 7: of you know, just more things to do. Yeah, because 215 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,520 Speaker 7: life doesn't stop now, kids. 216 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,240 Speaker 1: Will still have stuff to do and like that has 217 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:40,840 Speaker 1: to get done whether we're falling apart or exhausted or not. 218 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,559 Speaker 3: Like it is different. I thought that the gap because 219 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:48,160 Speaker 3: we so Jannah and I share the same like our 220 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,600 Speaker 3: kids are all the same ages, which is so always 221 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:54,160 Speaker 3: so cool to me. But I thought, I the gap 222 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:56,960 Speaker 3: is great for so many reasons because it gives you 223 00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:59,520 Speaker 3: like they are a little more self sufficient. But then 224 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:02,640 Speaker 3: the gap is harder because the feelings are big and 225 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:05,319 Speaker 3: they can articulate them, and they still have a million 226 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:05,920 Speaker 3: things to do. 227 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:07,560 Speaker 4: They have so much going on as they get older. 228 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:09,719 Speaker 3: Yeah, and they want to yeah, And you want them 229 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,240 Speaker 3: to play and you want them to be plugged into 230 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:13,560 Speaker 3: their own world so that they don't feel the huge transition. 231 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:17,560 Speaker 3: But there is a transition for them too. It's going 232 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:19,280 Speaker 3: to be great. I want to just drop a little 233 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:23,959 Speaker 3: note of hope. Allen and Jane holding hands, like the 234 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:28,440 Speaker 3: planes going down that can't see the oxygen masks have 235 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:29,480 Speaker 3: fallen from the ceiling. 236 00:11:31,559 --> 00:11:37,040 Speaker 6: You might not get the I'm with you even nothing 237 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:40,360 Speaker 6: we don't know yet, we don't know. I just want. 238 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:46,640 Speaker 2: I think the I don't remember having postpartum with Jolly 239 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:51,560 Speaker 2: depression depression. Yeah, yes, thank you for the claripication of that. 240 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:57,400 Speaker 2: With Jace, my postpartum depression was something where and I've 241 00:11:57,440 --> 00:12:00,480 Speaker 2: known someone that had the wake extreame Ca said, there's 242 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:04,960 Speaker 2: massive extremes my connection with Jace. When I had him, 243 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:09,800 Speaker 2: I felt a weird. I wasn't connected and that depressed 244 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,760 Speaker 2: me for a minute because I didn't have what I 245 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,520 Speaker 2: thought what I had when I had Jolie. And then 246 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,440 Speaker 2: I realized that was a part of the depression and 247 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:20,360 Speaker 2: the not feeling connected to the baby. It was, but 248 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 2: it sent me like I'm a spiral. Also, he's a boy, 249 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:26,200 Speaker 2: which is different. Not that you not that that makes 250 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:29,360 Speaker 2: you less connected, but I felt a different connection with 251 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:31,679 Speaker 2: Legend and at first compared it to like, oh it's 252 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,560 Speaker 2: not as intense as it was with love, but like 253 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:37,360 Speaker 2: he was, he was my boyfriend, and it took me 254 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,520 Speaker 2: a minute to go hang on, like it's a different 255 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:42,040 Speaker 2: kind of love, and then once figured that out. But 256 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 2: I think I had more postpartum anxiety post Jase. 257 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:52,600 Speaker 3: I definitely had postpartum depression with love for sure. Postpartum 258 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:55,439 Speaker 3: more in postpartum anxiety with Legend, but he also was 259 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:57,280 Speaker 3: a respiratory kid. He just had a lot of like 260 00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:02,080 Speaker 3: respiratory issues. And then this one, I feel like I'm 261 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,560 Speaker 3: unable to diagnose where I'm at because we're only five 262 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,959 Speaker 3: months out. But this time just feels like I'm in 263 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:11,480 Speaker 3: a postpartum period. But I'm trying to navigate it. 264 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:15,840 Speaker 2: Differently again, the hormone levels, age, all the things, because 265 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:20,880 Speaker 2: I believe I was in perimenopause when I started pregnant, 266 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,720 Speaker 2: Biblical age pregnancies that we're having. 267 00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:26,439 Speaker 5: I don't even know what you just said. Another I 268 00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:29,319 Speaker 5: have to google that tonight, but I. 269 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:31,880 Speaker 2: Think at the end of it, I mean, I know, Alan, 270 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:36,000 Speaker 2: you're insanely supportive, so I know that you're gonna show 271 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:38,120 Speaker 2: up and be a great partner. 272 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:42,880 Speaker 7: You guys think of being aware of it is beneficial. 273 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:46,720 Speaker 7: Like you said, your first child, you've never experienced it, 274 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:54,800 Speaker 7: So the second one, can you intellectually go Okay, this 275 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,360 Speaker 7: is probably coming and kind of prepare yourself for it. 276 00:13:57,520 --> 00:14:01,840 Speaker 3: Well, two things I think One, you learned how to 277 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:05,680 Speaker 3: better support and love yourself and what you need just 278 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,640 Speaker 3: as you get older. Period, and then you add like 279 00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:09,920 Speaker 3: a postpartum period, like I knew how I needed to 280 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,840 Speaker 3: be loved this time, and for me, it was I 281 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:15,920 Speaker 3: did not need any visitors until at least six weeks. 282 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:18,400 Speaker 3: I needed a minute to like get my I I 283 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,320 Speaker 3: had to honor that about myself because that's the part 284 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:21,320 Speaker 3: that gets stressful for me. 285 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:24,480 Speaker 5: And I was like the movies. I'm like thinking, you know, 286 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:26,480 Speaker 5: I'm about to have a baby. We need all the 287 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,840 Speaker 5: in laws in the window of that at the at 288 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:29,560 Speaker 5: the hospital. 289 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:32,320 Speaker 8: Yeah, everybody ready, and then. 290 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,720 Speaker 5: I'll hold a baby up like Simba and everybody parties 291 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:38,640 Speaker 5: and the door swings open and she puts her clothes 292 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:39,600 Speaker 5: on and we go home. 293 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:40,360 Speaker 6: You know what I mean. 294 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:43,520 Speaker 5: I thought it was just like that, and then I realized, 295 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:46,560 Speaker 5: you know, it wasn't like that. 296 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:50,840 Speaker 3: We're the same? Are we identical? Have everybody in the 297 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:52,840 Speaker 3: delivery room? That's my motto. 298 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:56,280 Speaker 5: And then the second time around, I invited less people, 299 00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:59,720 Speaker 5: and so I was like, okay, RSVP this second time 300 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:03,800 Speaker 5: and the third time I started to really listen, like okay, 301 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:07,520 Speaker 5: this is this is your room, this is I get 302 00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:09,840 Speaker 5: it now, you know. So it took me a minute. 303 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:13,920 Speaker 3: It's so celebratory, like the lion king to him, and 304 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,920 Speaker 3: for me, I'm like this is like sacred quiet territory. 305 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,200 Speaker 2: Well, and I told Alan too, I think I said 306 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:21,320 Speaker 2: this too where I I'm pretty sure I did. Where 307 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:24,320 Speaker 2: when the baby comes, I still need to have our 308 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:29,160 Speaker 2: precious connection moments too, because I don't want that piece 309 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:32,240 Speaker 2: to us to be sleep deprived or edgy or snippy 310 00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:34,000 Speaker 2: or like guys like are we just we have to 311 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:38,360 Speaker 2: have find a minute each day that's something that we 312 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:40,280 Speaker 2: can just kind of sit with each other because those 313 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:42,800 Speaker 2: moments just the other day when we had a crazy 314 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:44,960 Speaker 2: day and we were just passing, it's like, hey, let's 315 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:47,760 Speaker 2: sit for thirty minutes and have a conversation and keep 316 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,680 Speaker 2: that Like that, that's something that. 317 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:54,480 Speaker 3: I know I need from my overall postpartum. Yeah, like 318 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,240 Speaker 3: even this time, there will be times in the middle 319 00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:57,800 Speaker 3: of the night where I'm feeding the baby and if 320 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,600 Speaker 3: Pressent's home, like you just get up and he's like 321 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:01,040 Speaker 3: you want me. 322 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:01,320 Speaker 5: To do it? 323 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:03,600 Speaker 3: Or he like rubs my back and that is enough 324 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,120 Speaker 3: for me just not you know, Like I. 325 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,240 Speaker 5: Wish I could send a text message, dudes, they're about 326 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:08,480 Speaker 5: to have. 327 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:09,840 Speaker 3: A baby, what would you say. 328 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:13,080 Speaker 5: I don't know exactly what I'd say. It depends if 329 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:15,160 Speaker 5: their wives are going to read it or not. But 330 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,520 Speaker 5: if the wives aren't reading it, I can't say it. 331 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:22,600 Speaker 5: So you know, I could text it to Alan, you 332 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:26,440 Speaker 5: could read it another day when I'm here. 333 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,080 Speaker 3: Okay, Well, what would you say if we weren't here. 334 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,320 Speaker 5: Well, I mean, that's not real life. You are here, 335 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:36,960 Speaker 5: but I think now, no, okay, so let's just paraphrase 336 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:42,880 Speaker 5: in a nice, gentle way. You know, life's about to 337 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:46,360 Speaker 5: get a little bit crazier and you're going to need 338 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,160 Speaker 5: to be getting up in the middle of the night 339 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,640 Speaker 5: and doing your part. She's going to need to be 340 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:54,760 Speaker 5: feeling some extra love from you. I mean, chime in, 341 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:58,160 Speaker 5: boys whenever you're ready, because I'm on the spire. 342 00:16:58,240 --> 00:16:59,320 Speaker 6: But you know, just. 343 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:03,120 Speaker 5: I always want to try to find ways that with 344 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:05,880 Speaker 5: you know, Troy Gentry told me this from Montgomery. Gentry 345 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:10,240 Speaker 5: got rest the soul. But you know, I just remember 346 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:13,240 Speaker 5: we were about to have a baby and he told me, 347 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:15,920 Speaker 5: he said, you've got to stay connected to your wife 348 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,800 Speaker 5: and it's not going to be as easy as you think. 349 00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:21,040 Speaker 5: And I was like, oh man, we got this, you 350 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,560 Speaker 5: know what I mean. We had only been together a 351 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:24,840 Speaker 5: little while and I was like, a minute, yeah, we're 352 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,119 Speaker 5: so on fire. In love. This is this is gonna 353 00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:30,280 Speaker 5: be easy. And I just went in one ear and 354 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:32,399 Speaker 5: out the other. But I think about that all the 355 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:35,680 Speaker 5: time now because I'm like, how true was that one 356 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,320 Speaker 5: sentence that he was trying to tell me? And now 357 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,119 Speaker 5: I see it, like I you know it. Sometimes it's 358 00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:43,800 Speaker 5: still labors the love. Maybe it's just you know, an 359 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,320 Speaker 5: extra time with the dishwasher, doing the little things, washing 360 00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:48,360 Speaker 5: the bottles when she just is so tired she don't 361 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,719 Speaker 5: feel like doing that, you know, and like all the 362 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,919 Speaker 5: little things that you definitely don't feel like doing, but 363 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:57,720 Speaker 5: you just do it because like she said, sometimes it's 364 00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,679 Speaker 5: rubbing her back. Sometimes it's just a little kiss on 365 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:02,720 Speaker 5: the neck, just saying you've been awesome this you know 366 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:05,440 Speaker 5: today or you know tonight in the middle of the night, 367 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:09,639 Speaker 5: you know. And so because look, look she does all 368 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:12,000 Speaker 5: the heavy lifting. I ain't seeing the dirty die for 369 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:14,439 Speaker 5: this week. I mean, she is awesome. She does it 370 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:18,480 Speaker 5: all and she lets me sleep. I come off the road, 371 00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:20,920 Speaker 5: I'm super tired, And you know I. 372 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:24,959 Speaker 3: Would I would steer away from using the term super tired. Yeah, 373 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,000 Speaker 3: I'm just being honest. That was one trigger. 374 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,440 Speaker 5: It's a different kind of tired. 375 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, like I remember him coming home and he's like, 376 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,399 Speaker 3: I'm just really tired, and I thought, I bet you 377 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:33,280 Speaker 3: are really tired. 378 00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:36,040 Speaker 5: However, you also have a unique situation. 379 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,679 Speaker 2: Yeah so yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that was one of 380 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:41,479 Speaker 2: the questions yeah too from a UH from UH. I 381 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,400 Speaker 2: did a poll and basically it was how his press 382 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,240 Speaker 2: and handle being a new dad and in the spotlight 383 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:47,720 Speaker 2: and on being on tour. 384 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,920 Speaker 5: That far is easy, man, We love being that. 385 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:51,800 Speaker 3: It's fun part. 386 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:54,040 Speaker 2: But when you come home and you say you're tired, 387 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:57,919 Speaker 2: and it's like Christens just like you don't know what 388 00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:58,480 Speaker 2: tired is. 389 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:01,000 Speaker 5: And the kids have all drawn picked and they're waiting 390 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,960 Speaker 5: and they want to put it right in your face 391 00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:05,800 Speaker 5: right when because I one thing that has changed for 392 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:10,360 Speaker 5: me is I take the last, the last flight out 393 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:14,240 Speaker 5: I can to leave, and then I take the earliest 394 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:18,320 Speaker 5: first flight I can to get home. And that's a 395 00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:20,760 Speaker 5: different level of stress outside of the house that no 396 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,600 Speaker 5: one sees. Just trying to be home as much as 397 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:27,680 Speaker 5: you can, because it's just as it's hard to get 398 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:30,359 Speaker 5: the hours the other dads are getting. Like I'm trying 399 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:33,120 Speaker 5: to build my time up and I'm gone a lot, 400 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,240 Speaker 5: but I'm also not working a nine to five and 401 00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:39,160 Speaker 5: home just every single night. That's kind of gone too 402 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,520 Speaker 5: in its own kind of way. So when I'm home, 403 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,240 Speaker 5: i'm home, and I get to write from home and 404 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:47,119 Speaker 5: it's cool. So I don't know, I think I think 405 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,080 Speaker 5: being on the road doesn't even weigh in as much 406 00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:52,000 Speaker 5: as I mean, it's fun and I'm lucky. Chris, the 407 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,119 Speaker 5: guy I sing with, was a dad for I don't know, 408 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:59,040 Speaker 5: six seven years before I ever was, and he's a 409 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:03,240 Speaker 5: great dad. So fortunately I got a good example of 410 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:07,280 Speaker 5: someone who shows up as a dad, And had I 411 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:11,480 Speaker 5: been singing with somebody that wasn't like that, I might 412 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:15,160 Speaker 5: have had a worse example in a different influence. So 413 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,479 Speaker 5: I was ready for that, you know. 414 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:16,960 Speaker 3: Alan. 415 00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:21,560 Speaker 2: One of the questions from the Q and A was 416 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:25,400 Speaker 2: what are you most nervous about being a new dad 417 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:29,200 Speaker 2: since it's been sixteen years? 418 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:35,080 Speaker 6: What my most nervous about? I think since it's been 419 00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:39,239 Speaker 6: so long since twice sixteen, so it's been a lot 420 00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,679 Speaker 6: of year since he was a tiny little baby, and 421 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:47,439 Speaker 6: I think it's just the I'm not nervous about anything, 422 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:50,480 Speaker 6: but it's just like looking at that tiny little thing 423 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:53,119 Speaker 6: up again. How you hold them and how you handle 424 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:56,359 Speaker 6: them and how you touch them and caress them. That 425 00:20:56,520 --> 00:21:02,919 Speaker 6: seems so long ago that listen, nervous nothing. I'm not 426 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:06,040 Speaker 6: nervous about anything because I'm looking forward to it. I'm excited. 427 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,280 Speaker 6: But it's just been I mean it's been sixteen years. 428 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:11,880 Speaker 6: Like we were building what we were building the other night, 429 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:15,640 Speaker 6: that play and play, the pack and play, and then 430 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:17,159 Speaker 6: I forgot what that was. 431 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,600 Speaker 5: Yeah, and you'll never figure out how to put it together. 432 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:23,760 Speaker 8: Technology is not improved. 433 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:28,240 Speaker 6: It's actually easy, wasn't it. 434 00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:31,440 Speaker 2: It was the attachment, The attachments were moving it because 435 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 2: you remember. 436 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,400 Speaker 4: You had to do it in a certain order. 437 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:35,439 Speaker 5: It was your fault. 438 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:36,320 Speaker 6: You did it. 439 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,160 Speaker 3: You don't have any fears then. 440 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:42,560 Speaker 6: I mean the sword like Troy's Troy sixteen, he's grown up, 441 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,159 Speaker 6: Like I go to the gym with them. He's taller 442 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:47,760 Speaker 6: than me, like, so there's there's an element, an element 443 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:53,240 Speaker 6: where he's grown up. It's just how to to manage 444 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:54,399 Speaker 6: this tiny little thing. 445 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:57,080 Speaker 3: Again, can't handle Allen's first. 446 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,840 Speaker 5: Of all, the same body have trouble with the words 447 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:05,600 Speaker 5: six with this guy because everything he says is sexteen. 448 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:09,919 Speaker 5: I mean, it's been sixteen years since I had a 449 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,120 Speaker 5: baby and held one and then. 450 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:13,600 Speaker 8: He says a little different than you. 451 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:18,000 Speaker 5: He says things like sexteen and caressing and holding. I'm like, 452 00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:19,560 Speaker 5: this is how the baby got in there? 453 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:36,840 Speaker 2: Okay, Well, speaking of your son, how people want to 454 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:41,080 Speaker 2: know how you manage having that distance and the back 455 00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:43,960 Speaker 2: and forth between the UK and if you officially live 456 00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:46,600 Speaker 2: here or not in what your. 457 00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:49,840 Speaker 5: Honor UK baby? 458 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:55,760 Speaker 2: It's both dual citizenship awesome because he's Scottish. 459 00:22:55,960 --> 00:23:00,760 Speaker 5: So both possibles. Are you having a baby here? Are 460 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:02,880 Speaker 5: we allowed to talk about this? Yeah? I don't know. 461 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:08,240 Speaker 5: So you're having a baby here, but it's halfway UK baby. 462 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:11,880 Speaker 3: Too, Well, he gets to have dual citizenship. 463 00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:19,000 Speaker 8: We'll talk about that. 464 00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:23,680 Speaker 5: I mean, if you're going into labor here and flying 465 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,560 Speaker 5: supersonic over there to have the baby, I could see 466 00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:29,680 Speaker 5: dual and then time zones too. I mean, I'm gonna 467 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:33,159 Speaker 5: say this sounds like the baby's ours. This is a 468 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:35,960 Speaker 5: US A baby. Let's go back to the question and 469 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:37,800 Speaker 5: how I feel. 470 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:47,080 Speaker 2: Just the distance and how do you and and with 471 00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:52,360 Speaker 2: that question is is having an older and a younger? 472 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,280 Speaker 3: Is that? How are you going to manage that? 473 00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:58,280 Speaker 6: Okay, so the first thing is a distance. It's tough, 474 00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:02,080 Speaker 6: but I mean, you know, I travel a lot anyway, 475 00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:05,040 Speaker 6: but I go back once a month to spend proper 476 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,399 Speaker 6: time with Troy. So when I'm back there, it's me 477 00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:11,840 Speaker 6: and him, whereas when historically when I see him, I'd 478 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:13,240 Speaker 6: maybe only see him for a day or two and 479 00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:17,720 Speaker 6: then i'd be back at the football club. So in 480 00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:20,680 Speaker 6: my head, I mean, it's difficult, it's really difficult. But 481 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:22,600 Speaker 6: the time that I spend with them now, for that 482 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,320 Speaker 6: week or five days whatever it is, it's obviously been 483 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:28,480 Speaker 6: less the last couple of months. The time that I 484 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:33,280 Speaker 6: get with them is like precious, concentrated me and him. 485 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:36,639 Speaker 6: So there's a power within that, and it it eases 486 00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:38,399 Speaker 6: my mind with it a bit, so it makes it 487 00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:42,720 Speaker 6: easier to manage. The second one was how will I 488 00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:47,000 Speaker 6: manage having an odor m D and a younger one? 489 00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:51,840 Speaker 6: Yet I think when you're a dad, you just your 490 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:56,840 Speaker 6: natural instincts kicking and you make them both feel safe 491 00:24:56,880 --> 00:25:00,240 Speaker 6: and loved and kildful. 492 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:03,520 Speaker 2: Not just absolutely, and you do such a great job 493 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:04,760 Speaker 2: with that, you really do. 494 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:06,720 Speaker 3: It's yeah. 495 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:13,840 Speaker 7: Yeah, Can I say one thing, I actually envy all 496 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:18,359 Speaker 7: y'all situation because it's like you're going to be forced 497 00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:20,520 Speaker 7: to slow down a little bit. Yes, it's going to 498 00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:22,080 Speaker 7: be crazy. Yes, it's going to be a hectic, but 499 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:24,399 Speaker 7: you're going to be forced to slow down because you 500 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:28,159 Speaker 7: have an infant. Like that would be awesome to be 501 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:30,639 Speaker 7: able to sit down on a couch with a baby 502 00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:35,880 Speaker 7: for an hour. Like this week alone, we've had what softball, volleyball, 503 00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:40,520 Speaker 7: cheer basketball, It's just every single day. 504 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,520 Speaker 4: It just gets so busy. That's so true. 505 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,199 Speaker 1: I've thought about that too, like it would be like, 506 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,200 Speaker 1: I think it's good to see that as a positive 507 00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:47,800 Speaker 1: because I think I know for you you can see 508 00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:50,639 Speaker 1: that kind of as a negative, like slowing down or whatever. 509 00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:53,680 Speaker 1: But now looking at it, having fourteen, eleven and seven, 510 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:56,359 Speaker 1: I'm like, what precious time. Yeah, to just be able 511 00:25:56,400 --> 00:26:00,120 Speaker 1: to sit and be with a baby, you know, like that's. 512 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:02,640 Speaker 5: I'm looking at this kid. 513 00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:04,520 Speaker 1: I mean you saw the other kids and they're crazy 514 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:06,119 Speaker 1: and busy and all the things. 515 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,200 Speaker 4: But that would be be nice. 516 00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:09,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, cool, and it is. 517 00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:12,080 Speaker 2: That's a good perspective, just because I remember we were 518 00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:15,760 Speaker 2: a dinner with a friend and she was saying, my 519 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:18,240 Speaker 2: kids are off now and I don't get to have that, 520 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,560 Speaker 2: and so it's like enjoy each moment that you do 521 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:22,120 Speaker 2: have and not try to rush it. 522 00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:25,440 Speaker 3: Or I bubbled really really hard. This time, I did go. 523 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,199 Speaker 3: I did come back to wind down, probably faster than 524 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:29,879 Speaker 3: I should have because I don't know what I was saying, 525 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:33,280 Speaker 3: But I did take myself off. I mean I was 526 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:36,240 Speaker 3: like TBDLC everybody in like maybe August. 527 00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:37,879 Speaker 4: We actually talked about that last night. 528 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:39,840 Speaker 1: Friends of ours were asking how you were doing and 529 00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:42,000 Speaker 1: the baby was doing, and I mentioned that as like 530 00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:46,119 Speaker 1: she's really hunkered down this time, and like, I'll envy that. 531 00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:48,080 Speaker 4: That's great. I think it's been so good for you. 532 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,480 Speaker 5: It's not easy to do watching her do it either, sure, 533 00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:53,040 Speaker 5: because people are kind, they're trying to get in there 534 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,520 Speaker 5: ran and she just wasn't having it. 535 00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:59,320 Speaker 3: I just know how quick it goes. Yeah, And I 536 00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:02,040 Speaker 3: prayed for that maybe for two years, you know, And 537 00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:03,880 Speaker 3: I just I think it's going to feel that way 538 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:07,240 Speaker 3: to you too, that you you're older. Your perspective is 539 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,000 Speaker 3: different when you know it's your last, it's different. 540 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:12,600 Speaker 5: You know, there's a lot of wisdom in that. 541 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:16,199 Speaker 7: Just making sure to block that off, yeah, because that's 542 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:17,800 Speaker 7: precious time you're not going to get back. 543 00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:22,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, speaking speaking of our speaking of our last babe, 544 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:24,560 Speaker 2: is this what was a question, is this our Is 545 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:25,880 Speaker 2: this our last kid? 546 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:27,880 Speaker 6: Is that someone else's question? 547 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:28,800 Speaker 3: That was. 548 00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:36,000 Speaker 8: A question? It was important question. 549 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:41,480 Speaker 3: It was It was a question, is this is Are 550 00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:42,760 Speaker 3: you guys are one and done? 551 00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:46,000 Speaker 6: I would think so. 552 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:47,159 Speaker 3: Okay. 553 00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:52,000 Speaker 2: So on that topic, he's not sure how he feels 554 00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:53,359 Speaker 2: about getting circums up. 555 00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:04,080 Speaker 5: To talk about that. I meant had a buck knife. 556 00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:05,240 Speaker 5: We can take care of the real. 557 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:08,960 Speaker 2: So that was because I'm like, babe, if you don't 558 00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:11,280 Speaker 2: get a sectomy, there's always a chance that it could 559 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:11,840 Speaker 2: happen again. 560 00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:14,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, we are on that topic right now. 561 00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:15,240 Speaker 5: I have no problem. 562 00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:17,639 Speaker 4: He's all about it. 563 00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:21,840 Speaker 5: He finds about it. It's such freedom. Oh, I can't wait. 564 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:23,080 Speaker 3: In the words of. 565 00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:26,160 Speaker 8: Get it done. 566 00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:31,359 Speaker 5: Yeah, they got a March Madness deal going with doctor Chopp. 567 00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:31,960 Speaker 5: You've seen that. 568 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:33,520 Speaker 3: His name is doctor shop. 569 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:37,080 Speaker 5: His name is doctor Chop. His first name is Dick. 570 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:40,160 Speaker 3: Not kidding, doctor, I'm not lying. 571 00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:45,640 Speaker 5: I google it doctor Dick Chopp, and he has a 572 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:49,520 Speaker 5: March Madness deal going and are both going. You can 573 00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:51,080 Speaker 5: get it done and you put a back of peas 574 00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:53,640 Speaker 5: on your junk and you just watch March Madness for 575 00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:54,120 Speaker 5: a weekend. 576 00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:58,000 Speaker 3: Oh that's okay. No, you don't get a vacation after. 577 00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:01,160 Speaker 2: There is something about the time the tube tying thing 578 00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:04,480 Speaker 2: though that I just and again, I don't ever want 579 00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:06,640 Speaker 2: to carry another baby. I'll make that very clear right here. 580 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:09,920 Speaker 2: We both know mama is done. I'm done carrying children. 581 00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:12,800 Speaker 5: You're basically smuggling a soccer ball is all you're doing 582 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:15,760 Speaker 5: right now. So she's so cute. 583 00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:28,440 Speaker 2: But so that's that's very clear. I just the thought 584 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:32,840 Speaker 2: of taking and tying. I've heard things that it could 585 00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:36,800 Speaker 2: be there's not there's side effects to tying tubes, but 586 00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:39,400 Speaker 2: also to take away that I don't know. 587 00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:40,400 Speaker 4: I'm not doing it. 588 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,840 Speaker 3: I don't know how I feel about it. I feel 589 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:47,120 Speaker 3: that way about it as sectomes actually like I don't, 590 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,560 Speaker 3: but you can, but you can easily. 591 00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:53,760 Speaker 2: My brother sorry, no, he got a little a little 592 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,320 Speaker 2: needle that goes in your balls because to take out. 593 00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:59,760 Speaker 5: The you know, oh, we're selling that if we do that, 594 00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:03,520 Speaker 5: So because the. 595 00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:07,080 Speaker 3: Tubes, you're done. Yeah, I could not do tubes. So 596 00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:11,160 Speaker 3: the wheels have fallen off. 597 00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:14,640 Speaker 5: Now we're selling it in straws. 598 00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:17,000 Speaker 3: Okay, boiled boiled? 599 00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:22,160 Speaker 4: Is that what you said? What did you sab. 600 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:25,760 Speaker 3: We need. 601 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,680 Speaker 5: And make a lot of money off that same I'm. 602 00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:33,440 Speaker 2: Just gonna We're going to transition really fast. Please, how 603 00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:35,400 Speaker 2: does it feel coming into the step parent role? 604 00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:41,680 Speaker 6: Coming into it? It's something that I've done from a 605 00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:47,920 Speaker 6: young age with Clothia, so I've been there, and yeah, 606 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:52,760 Speaker 6: the amazing kids, so it doesn't it. 607 00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:56,480 Speaker 7: Would be hard if you came in with like undisciplined kids. 608 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:58,480 Speaker 7: I've always thought that'd be that'd be tough. 609 00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:02,200 Speaker 6: Yeah, I think the kids are. The kids are so 610 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:06,080 Speaker 6: well behaved and nice and pleasant that it makes it 611 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:09,000 Speaker 6: so much easier. Really, it really does. Like if they 612 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:14,840 Speaker 6: were problem children, then that would be tough. Sure, it'll 613 00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:15,240 Speaker 6: be tough. 614 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:17,800 Speaker 2: And how much have you had to help Jana and 615 00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:20,760 Speaker 2: the kids understand with your accent? And is Alan worried 616 00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:22,760 Speaker 2: about his child becoming American accent? 617 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:32,280 Speaker 9: Wise? Daily Scottish lessons, Daily Scottish lessons, daily lessons, one 618 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:33,760 Speaker 9: hour a day, one hour. 619 00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:37,600 Speaker 3: I do you get excited to see what he'll sound like? Honestly, 620 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,200 Speaker 3: he's going to probably sound sound pure American. 621 00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:44,120 Speaker 6: Troy when Troy when when I live in California, North 622 00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:48,720 Speaker 6: Carolina and California, Troy and Claudia, Troy ended up with 623 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:56,880 Speaker 6: an American accent. Hm, it's now you know Scottish, mostly English, 624 00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:00,360 Speaker 6: no American in there, but they just did you. It's 625 00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:02,080 Speaker 6: the surroundings, the friends. 626 00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:03,600 Speaker 3: What will you do when he says to you, I 627 00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:08,239 Speaker 3: want to snack. We're not going to Americanize him. 628 00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:12,160 Speaker 5: We're going to Michigan or him. 629 00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:14,480 Speaker 2: Alan, do you have the same respect for Mike as 630 00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:15,120 Speaker 2: he does for you? 631 00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:23,920 Speaker 6: Yeah, I've gett No, I've got no reason to like those. 632 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:27,600 Speaker 6: I don't disrespecting one. But he's a nice guy. He's 633 00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:31,760 Speaker 6: pleasant to me, and I will always respect Mike if 634 00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:32,440 Speaker 6: he respects you. 635 00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:35,360 Speaker 5: Mhm, that's simple. 636 00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:39,720 Speaker 2: Is Alan concerned that his Scottish traditions will be lost 637 00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:40,400 Speaker 2: being in America? 638 00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:49,320 Speaker 1: No Kish lessons, one hour a day? 639 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:51,840 Speaker 2: How does Alan feel about Janna having to be so 640 00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,240 Speaker 2: public about her life on social media? 641 00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:56,840 Speaker 3: How does Alan feel about that? 642 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:05,880 Speaker 6: Yeah, it's It's not something I'm used to, but it's 643 00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:09,280 Speaker 6: something that I've adapted to. It's it can be tough 644 00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:12,760 Speaker 6: at times because you hear me say you a lot, 645 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:14,920 Speaker 6: don't put that on Instagram, don't put that on social 646 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:22,400 Speaker 6: media because because your default is uploaded regardless of what 647 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:22,720 Speaker 6: it is. 648 00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:32,000 Speaker 3: Alan with the Christmas lights in the bush whatever, He's like, yeah. 649 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:36,320 Speaker 6: Okay, but to be honest, though we have fun with it. 650 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:37,440 Speaker 8: We do. 651 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:39,160 Speaker 6: We have fun with it. 652 00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:42,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think the balance. Yeah, I think you've been 653 00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:44,720 Speaker 3: more private this time. Yeah for sure. 654 00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:00,640 Speaker 2: Okay, Parenting styles you disagree with your spell on and 655 00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:01,560 Speaker 2: how do you handle it? 656 00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:02,760 Speaker 3: Start with nick and cap. 657 00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:07,840 Speaker 5: Oh, I am not touching this person. 658 00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:17,800 Speaker 4: Parenting styles you disagree with. 659 00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:22,279 Speaker 7: If you go back from the beginning, you know it 660 00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:26,440 Speaker 7: was always we had the spanking. 661 00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:29,680 Speaker 1: Which is funny because you would say it. I'm like, 662 00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:35,560 Speaker 1: we are not spanking our kids, and he's like, I 663 00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:36,720 Speaker 1: thought we weren't. 664 00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:46,640 Speaker 4: That's all I can think about now. 665 00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:51,080 Speaker 7: I think a lot of depends on the personality of 666 00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:53,400 Speaker 7: your kid, you know what I mean, Like we we parent, 667 00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:56,200 Speaker 7: I guess the same for all three for the most part, 668 00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:59,000 Speaker 7: but each kid has a different personality, so you kind 669 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:02,480 Speaker 7: of there's a little more flexibility in leeway. Like we 670 00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:06,480 Speaker 7: give our son probably way more freedom than I had 671 00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:10,040 Speaker 7: at his age because he's such a mature kid. 672 00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:12,480 Speaker 4: Okay, so that's where we disagree. 673 00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:16,320 Speaker 3: That he's not mature. 674 00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:18,839 Speaker 1: He is, but it's like he's starting to date and 675 00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:21,200 Speaker 1: like I will question, like should he be able to 676 00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:23,200 Speaker 1: do this? And it is just a blanket like, yes, 677 00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:25,360 Speaker 1: you let him go with the girl, like no matter what, 678 00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:28,000 Speaker 1: the like, no questions ask it. But I'm like, so 679 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:34,680 Speaker 1: you're gonna like your daughter do that? And he's like, no, 680 00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:35,319 Speaker 1: you have. 681 00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:36,239 Speaker 4: To treat them this. 682 00:35:37,239 --> 00:35:39,719 Speaker 5: You do not No, you. 683 00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,720 Speaker 4: Do not agreed a disagree? 684 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:43,480 Speaker 3: No, agree to move in with me? 685 00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:44,440 Speaker 4: Kat Okay. 686 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:50,840 Speaker 2: Over to Christen and Preston. I know, mm hmmm parenting styles. 687 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:52,680 Speaker 2: Who disagree with your spouse on? How do you handle 688 00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:53,480 Speaker 2: the disagreement? 689 00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:59,239 Speaker 3: So Preston was raised really country redneck, like, yeah, yeah, 690 00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,360 Speaker 3: I had him pick the switch. You had to go 691 00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:02,560 Speaker 3: pick the switch, and which to. 692 00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:05,120 Speaker 5: Get your own switch down? And if you brought it back? 693 00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:06,800 Speaker 5: And what's a switch? 694 00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:10,400 Speaker 3: Well, I call it a stick. If we're talking about sticks, Yeah, 695 00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:15,800 Speaker 3: that's prby If it was so if traveling is so lost, 696 00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:19,439 Speaker 3: you have to cut Yeah. 697 00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:23,120 Speaker 5: So as she say you're trouble, go get your own switch, 698 00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:25,800 Speaker 5: you're gonna get whooped with it. Here was the million 699 00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:28,239 Speaker 5: dollar questions. So was it better to have a thicker one? 700 00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:28,680 Speaker 6: Oh? 701 00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:32,680 Speaker 5: If my if I if I brought the wrong switch home, 702 00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:35,719 Speaker 5: because I would test it out in the woods, I'd 703 00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:37,920 Speaker 5: be like, oh yeah I can handle this one. Now 704 00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:40,480 Speaker 5: I bring it home. She'd be like, uh, nope, now 705 00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:43,759 Speaker 5: you get double switches. And so if she had to 706 00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:46,080 Speaker 5: go get the switch and bring it back, I got 707 00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:46,840 Speaker 5: double switches. 708 00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:47,200 Speaker 8: Yeah. 709 00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:49,279 Speaker 5: I had to roll your jeans up. This is my 710 00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:52,120 Speaker 5: mom would be in jail today. You had to roll 711 00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:56,200 Speaker 5: your jeans up. Me and my brothers, all of us 712 00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:58,799 Speaker 5: did it. I had to roll your jeans up to 713 00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:02,399 Speaker 5: your knees. And then she would hold your shirt by 714 00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:06,560 Speaker 5: the shoulder so you could or your mullet whatever she 715 00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:10,440 Speaker 5: can get ahold of. You're about to be a wild 716 00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:13,680 Speaker 5: pony right here, and so they get ahold of that 717 00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:18,400 Speaker 5: thing wild. She she gets you on the back of 718 00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:19,359 Speaker 5: the calf with it right. 719 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:23,080 Speaker 3: So, based on the success rate of how that all 720 00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:26,200 Speaker 3: worked out for him and the three brothers, because one 721 00:37:25,719 --> 00:37:30,040 Speaker 3: of three turned out fine and I married that one. 722 00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:34,600 Speaker 3: Based on the success rate of the switch getting. My 723 00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:38,000 Speaker 3: biggest thing is when it comes to parenting a boy, 724 00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:43,480 Speaker 3: I don't I'm I am big into feelings and I 725 00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:47,000 Speaker 3: don't need him. I want him to be a strong man, 726 00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:48,719 Speaker 3: I want him to be a leader, I want him 727 00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:51,879 Speaker 3: all the things. I just think that our society does 728 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:54,840 Speaker 3: not do a good job of letting boys also be 729 00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:55,960 Speaker 3: human beings that feel. 730 00:37:56,200 --> 00:38:00,799 Speaker 5: And meanwhile, while she's this is our I guess I'm 731 00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:05,520 Speaker 5: tending to the masculinity and the testosterone it's coursing through 732 00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:09,560 Speaker 5: his veins and he needs a man to step in 733 00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:14,120 Speaker 5: and teach him how to control his emotions a little 734 00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:17,440 Speaker 5: bit before he even speaks about his emotions, like it 735 00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:21,000 Speaker 5: just rolls through his blood. He is a different from 736 00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:24,360 Speaker 5: our little girl, and I see it, and if I 737 00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:26,919 Speaker 5: don't use a different tone with him, like my voice 738 00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:28,680 Speaker 5: has got to come on down a little bit. And 739 00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:32,360 Speaker 5: then I see his head turn and then he starts 740 00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:34,880 Speaker 5: to hear it and get it, and we talk about 741 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:38,680 Speaker 5: things and I don't I'm not really too tough with him, 742 00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:41,400 Speaker 5: but you know, at first I'll be like, listen, you 743 00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:43,920 Speaker 5: gotta listen to me, and then we kind of like, 744 00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:47,319 Speaker 5: you know, debrief what we just went through. 745 00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:49,200 Speaker 3: But I feel like that's new because I feel like, 746 00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:52,359 Speaker 3: for a while, you're like, gotta get together, like it's 747 00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:54,799 Speaker 3: just it was like this like shame trend, like get 748 00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:56,359 Speaker 3: together and what do you do you know? And I 749 00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:58,080 Speaker 3: was like, Okay, well he just was in my body 750 00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:01,040 Speaker 3: five years ago. So that's where I have a different 751 00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:02,240 Speaker 3: compassion for the court. 752 00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:05,239 Speaker 7: Especially with the son is the older he gets, the 753 00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:09,239 Speaker 7: more you'll start picking up on both sides of that. 754 00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:12,799 Speaker 5: And I'm so easy with all of it until her 755 00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:18,400 Speaker 5: top blows. When her top blows, then I it's my 756 00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:22,960 Speaker 5: call to action. When I hear the tone hit, she 757 00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:25,840 Speaker 5: storms out of the room or she says a certain phrase, 758 00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:28,600 Speaker 5: and I'm like, and that's my cue. And then when 759 00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:32,200 Speaker 5: I come in tough, then she comes running back to 760 00:39:32,239 --> 00:39:34,240 Speaker 5: save the day, and that's frustrating. 761 00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:36,200 Speaker 3: Well, we're trying to break that cycle right now. 762 00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:41,560 Speaker 5: God's frustrating because she has blown her top. I'm coming 763 00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:44,560 Speaker 5: in to handle business now and we're gonna get this 764 00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:48,080 Speaker 5: together quick, and which I should have probably done to 765 00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:51,160 Speaker 5: begin with, but I let her handle the feelings. Now 766 00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:52,680 Speaker 5: now she's lost. 767 00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:54,520 Speaker 3: It those for those that couldn't see that. 768 00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:59,040 Speaker 5: She's lost it and headed out to the other part 769 00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:01,520 Speaker 5: of the house and I'm in here dealing with things, 770 00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:03,680 Speaker 5: you know, just grabbing. 771 00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:05,439 Speaker 8: The mullet room. 772 00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:09,400 Speaker 3: And how you think it goes down. 773 00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:12,560 Speaker 5: The replay, Yeah, both those probably. 774 00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:15,239 Speaker 3: Yeah, that appears to us though too. 775 00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:18,719 Speaker 1: I'm like more of the disciplinarian and then I'll lose 776 00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:21,279 Speaker 1: it and then I'll step out and then he'll come 777 00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:22,440 Speaker 1: in I'm like, why are you going to be so 778 00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:23,080 Speaker 1: hard on them? 779 00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:24,840 Speaker 4: Even though and then I'll try. 780 00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:26,160 Speaker 8: It, I'll admit it. 781 00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:27,880 Speaker 1: I'll be the first to admit it, and I'll come 782 00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:30,239 Speaker 1: back and want to save the day so I can 783 00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:31,600 Speaker 1: even acknowledge that happens. 784 00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:34,040 Speaker 2: What do you think is going to happen between us 785 00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:37,719 Speaker 2: because we haven't really had to with because it was 786 00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:40,200 Speaker 2: Julie and Jace. I'm obviously the more I mean, you 787 00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:43,080 Speaker 2: will say, hey, don't do that, or but you don't 788 00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:48,279 Speaker 2: really discipline them unless like maybe a few times when 789 00:40:48,719 --> 00:40:50,560 Speaker 2: I've said it a million times, like listen to your 790 00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:54,080 Speaker 2: mother and you have my back. Well, we've all you've 791 00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:56,799 Speaker 2: had my back on all those things. So with now 792 00:40:56,880 --> 00:41:02,120 Speaker 2: our boy, what are how do you think will parent 793 00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:03,680 Speaker 2: and discipline together? 794 00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:06,800 Speaker 3: What do you do you see an issue? 795 00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:08,440 Speaker 2: Not an issue, but do you see something that could 796 00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:11,600 Speaker 2: we could probably disagree on or not do the same 797 00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:13,640 Speaker 2: that might cause a little frustration. 798 00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:18,600 Speaker 6: I think it goes back to Preston's point where and 799 00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:22,640 Speaker 6: you mentioned it as well, well, your parent your parent 800 00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:27,640 Speaker 6: boys different to girls, and you're almost parent. There will 801 00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:30,120 Speaker 6: be a part of my parenting will come from my 802 00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:31,640 Speaker 6: dad and. 803 00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:36,759 Speaker 3: Because you think I baby Jace. Yeah, I wish we 804 00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:37,280 Speaker 3: had camera. 805 00:41:38,239 --> 00:41:41,360 Speaker 5: I mean, I'm not even here. 806 00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:48,520 Speaker 6: I think I will be the tougher one. And when 807 00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:52,280 Speaker 6: I speak people, the kids will listen, and Roman will listen. 808 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:56,279 Speaker 6: But you you'll speak, You'll speak more. You'll speak more, 809 00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:58,960 Speaker 6: and you'll try and discipline more. And like you said, 810 00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:01,759 Speaker 6: you step cuting point. 811 00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:04,239 Speaker 5: He also has a presence like. 812 00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:09,480 Speaker 3: It makes me well. 813 00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:13,799 Speaker 2: With that said, then are you gonna do you think 814 00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:15,520 Speaker 2: you'll be the dad that lets the baby cry it out? 815 00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:16,880 Speaker 2: Or are you going to because I think that's going 816 00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:20,560 Speaker 2: to be our first challenge with the baby is I'm 817 00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:23,440 Speaker 2: going to say, let the baby cry it out, and 818 00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:27,600 Speaker 2: you're gonna want to go hold the baby. And I'm 819 00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:30,080 Speaker 2: because I'm very strict with the sleep training. That's I've 820 00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:32,520 Speaker 2: always been very strict with that and obviously don't let 821 00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:35,120 Speaker 2: him cry out to it, you know, the crazy degree. 822 00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:38,800 Speaker 2: But I'm also you had they have to comfort themselves 823 00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:41,839 Speaker 2: at a certain point, and so would you go in 824 00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:44,480 Speaker 2: and so I'm just curious where you were. Your softness 825 00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:45,120 Speaker 2: with that will. 826 00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:48,400 Speaker 6: Be Yeah, with stuff like that will probably be soft 827 00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:49,719 Speaker 6: m hmm. 828 00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:59,080 Speaker 2: I see I see you going in yeah, yeah. 829 00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:56,319 Speaker 5: Good luck. 830 00:42:56,320 --> 00:43:01,680 Speaker 7: When you looking back when we kids catching the baby wise, 831 00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:04,600 Speaker 7: what does it saying, Oh, I've already. 832 00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:06,680 Speaker 2: I'm already I'm the baby wise out. I'm already starting 833 00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:09,440 Speaker 2: to print out the schedule like for each week like 834 00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:10,800 Speaker 2: boom boom boom, boom boom. 835 00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:14,080 Speaker 7: I will say, that'll make your life in the long run. 836 00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:18,480 Speaker 7: It'll make it better, far better when you have it scheduled. 837 00:43:18,719 --> 00:43:21,680 Speaker 3: Alan, call me when you want to be soft buddy, 838 00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:24,439 Speaker 3: because I'm the softie. There's no crying it out, there's 839 00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:27,160 Speaker 3: no schedule. There's just a lot of skin to getting 840 00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:28,160 Speaker 3: to watch. 841 00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:32,360 Speaker 5: I mean, like the wife's man, they have a language 842 00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:34,960 Speaker 5: they can talk to the kids that nobody else can really. 843 00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,279 Speaker 5: I mean, I don't know what it is. She can 844 00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:40,000 Speaker 5: come in and save the day, and it's like, I 845 00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:43,359 Speaker 5: don't know how she tapped into that little that little 846 00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:46,319 Speaker 5: phrase that diffused the whole thing. But that's cool to 847 00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:49,000 Speaker 5: watch and I learned from that all the time. 848 00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:53,440 Speaker 2: Uh, the stress you feel as a dad that you 849 00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:54,560 Speaker 2: don't want your wife to know. 850 00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:56,680 Speaker 5: I think. 851 00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:05,000 Speaker 7: Personalities come into play here. I've always had that personality 852 00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:07,239 Speaker 7: of who want it done right? 853 00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:10,000 Speaker 5: I got to do it now. I live with this whole. 854 00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:12,120 Speaker 7: Oh my God, if I were to die tomorrow, everybody 855 00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:16,200 Speaker 7: else is screwed. And that's not true, but that's that's 856 00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:19,040 Speaker 7: kind of the stress we live in. You know, I 857 00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:22,120 Speaker 7: have to take care of these three kids and her 858 00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:26,719 Speaker 7: and if something happens to me, then my God was 859 00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:31,520 Speaker 7: going to happen to them, And that's not exactly truth, 860 00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:34,000 Speaker 7: but we kind of live with that that we are 861 00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:37,200 Speaker 7: the provider role, which we are I believe, you know, 862 00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:40,600 Speaker 7: that's how God called us to be the steward and 863 00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:44,319 Speaker 7: take care of our families. But with that comes a 864 00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:48,640 Speaker 7: lot of added stress, and that's probably that's always been 865 00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:53,799 Speaker 7: a little bit of a conflict in my spiritual battle. Yes, 866 00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:58,359 Speaker 7: I fully trust and rely on God. However I tend 867 00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:01,200 Speaker 7: to act like it relies on me. Mm hmm, and 868 00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:02,040 Speaker 7: I think that's. 869 00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:03,600 Speaker 6: Yeah. 870 00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:07,400 Speaker 7: For me, that's definitely it is the being the provider 871 00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:09,680 Speaker 7: and if I don't take care of things, they'll never 872 00:45:09,719 --> 00:45:10,360 Speaker 7: get done. 873 00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:16,040 Speaker 3: Allan mhm. 874 00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:19,560 Speaker 6: Someone school full slight and think of it. That's more so. 875 00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:21,160 Speaker 5: I don't understand the question. 876 00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:27,000 Speaker 4: Nick got deep, Alan skipped. 877 00:45:26,239 --> 00:45:29,000 Speaker 5: Say it again, but maybe slower or something. I don't know. 878 00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:32,879 Speaker 2: The stress you feel as a dad that you don't 879 00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:34,200 Speaker 2: want your wife to know about. 880 00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:36,080 Speaker 5: I don't want my wife to know about. 881 00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:40,879 Speaker 3: That she's about to find out about, man. 882 00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:43,360 Speaker 5: I mean, I think she knows about all the stress 883 00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:46,080 Speaker 5: I'm feeling. I don't think there's anything that I don't 884 00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:48,879 Speaker 5: think there's any stress. I'm pretty transparent about what's going on. 885 00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:51,960 Speaker 5: One thing, that one thing that I learned early on 886 00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:54,759 Speaker 5: was like I was just always on the phone and 887 00:45:54,840 --> 00:46:00,000 Speaker 5: dealing with whatever deals and songs and record deals and 888 00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:03,840 Speaker 5: things just always always happening. And so I learned to 889 00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:05,959 Speaker 5: like kind of take some things into the other room, 890 00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:09,400 Speaker 5: make them a little bit more concise, a little bit quicker, 891 00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:12,120 Speaker 5: and then get back to family time, you know what 892 00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:14,840 Speaker 5: I mean. So I would I had the benefit of 893 00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:17,560 Speaker 5: kind of dealing with all these deals at home, and 894 00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:20,520 Speaker 5: so I try to I try to take that stress 895 00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:22,399 Speaker 5: into the other room and don't let it come back 896 00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:23,880 Speaker 5: into the other room. It took me a lot of 897 00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:26,560 Speaker 5: years to do that, Like I would carry the stress 898 00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:29,160 Speaker 5: back into the family time and then I would let 899 00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:31,719 Speaker 5: and it still does. I mean, look was just real life. 900 00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:36,480 Speaker 5: But I know for sure that I'm holding things back 901 00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:39,640 Speaker 5: that I don't want to affect our time as a family, 902 00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:43,439 Speaker 5: and I don't want to like my worry if man, 903 00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:46,400 Speaker 5: the stress of losing a record deal or something like 904 00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:49,760 Speaker 5: that that's a lot in this town. Or the stress 905 00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:52,120 Speaker 5: of a song that's been cruising up the charts and 906 00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:54,400 Speaker 5: now it's at thirty two and you just got a 907 00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:57,680 Speaker 5: phone call that it's over. It's just done. The last 908 00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:02,400 Speaker 5: nine months of your life is just for nothing in 909 00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:05,920 Speaker 5: a sense, and you are really gambling on that thing 910 00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:07,719 Speaker 5: to get to the top twenty or the top ten. 911 00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:09,680 Speaker 5: Now I got to go in and take the kids 912 00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:12,759 Speaker 5: to Chuck E Cheese and I'm like, everybody's having a 913 00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:16,200 Speaker 5: good time, and I'm like, our song just died. It's 914 00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:19,360 Speaker 5: like losing a part of you. And so there's like 915 00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:22,759 Speaker 5: this grief that comes with like losing a song. I 916 00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:26,120 Speaker 5: don't get to grieve over in front of anyone. And so, 917 00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:28,440 Speaker 5: and we've had our share of losses, we've had our 918 00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:31,040 Speaker 5: share of hits. We've had our share of losses. And 919 00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:33,839 Speaker 5: those days when you lose a record dealer, you lose 920 00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:36,520 Speaker 5: a song, or you lose some deal that was important 921 00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:40,439 Speaker 5: to providing for your family in the long run. Man, 922 00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:43,319 Speaker 5: you're just like, Wow, that's hard, you know, And that's 923 00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:46,759 Speaker 5: like any that's probably all dudes in a different kind 924 00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:50,920 Speaker 5: of business and in their situations, you know, with their jobs. 925 00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:54,400 Speaker 5: So I think we you just have to turn that 926 00:47:54,520 --> 00:47:57,680 Speaker 5: off and don't let that hang into your life, you know, 927 00:47:57,760 --> 00:48:00,879 Speaker 5: and effect, because man, at the end of the day, 928 00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:02,200 Speaker 5: the kids are the only thing that's going to make 929 00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:05,120 Speaker 5: you feel better anyway. You know, the kids are. They 930 00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:07,320 Speaker 5: love you. If you're living in a cardboard box or 931 00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:09,920 Speaker 5: if you're you know, got the number one saw on 932 00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:12,680 Speaker 5: the radio, it just doesn't matter to them. And that's 933 00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:15,360 Speaker 5: the thing that you have to learn. It's tough. 934 00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:19,719 Speaker 6: I think I think you're pretty good that I know 935 00:48:19,760 --> 00:48:22,600 Speaker 6: when you're stressed, and you know when I'm stressed, and 936 00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:26,160 Speaker 6: I think our communication is pretty good when it comes 937 00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:29,279 Speaker 6: to things like that. So I don't know if those Yeah, 938 00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:32,400 Speaker 6: you've got this stress that every father has of is 939 00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:35,120 Speaker 6: your baby going to be healthy? Is it that you're 940 00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:36,960 Speaker 6: going to be able to provide you for your kids 941 00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:41,319 Speaker 6: and your wife and this and that. But I think 942 00:48:41,480 --> 00:48:44,960 Speaker 6: you're pretty good at recognizing things. And then I'm now 943 00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:48,040 Speaker 6: better at it because I would just go quiet, But 944 00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:52,440 Speaker 6: you're you're good at bringing that out of me, whereas 945 00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:54,400 Speaker 6: I don't so I don't really feel like I'm hiding 946 00:48:54,480 --> 00:48:59,360 Speaker 6: any stresses. That makes sense because you know about my stresses. 947 00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:14,719 Speaker 2: Yeah, lightning round for you boys, So just chime in 948 00:49:14,760 --> 00:49:17,720 Speaker 2: when you can. Uh, what do you love most about 949 00:49:17,719 --> 00:49:21,560 Speaker 2: your your lady. 950 00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:21,479 Speaker 5: That she came back? 951 00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:28,000 Speaker 3: Can you? 952 00:49:31,160 --> 00:49:40,200 Speaker 5: I didn't know she left, but for that, My wife 953 00:49:40,239 --> 00:49:42,200 Speaker 5: is a smoke show. I love it. Every day I 954 00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:43,520 Speaker 5: try to tell her she's a smoke. 955 00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:52,600 Speaker 6: So you're so, you're so thoughtful. Oh the thing so thoughtful? 956 00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:56,000 Speaker 6: Smiles me up everything. 957 00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:57,640 Speaker 3: You want to change your answers. 958 00:49:58,719 --> 00:50:03,439 Speaker 5: No, actually, actually besides, I mean I love that she's 959 00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:06,160 Speaker 5: so witty. I mean I would never have married my 960 00:50:06,239 --> 00:50:10,120 Speaker 5: wife had she not just made me laugh so much. 961 00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:13,120 Speaker 5: And from the minute we met, she had me you know, 962 00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:14,879 Speaker 5: And I said, I like your jacket, and she turned 963 00:50:14,880 --> 00:50:18,600 Speaker 5: out and said I like your face. Came over. I'm like, okay, 964 00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:19,640 Speaker 5: here we go. 965 00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:27,040 Speaker 2: Best part of parenthead, fatherhood, best part of fatherhood, this 966 00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:31,080 Speaker 2: has actually happened recently, is when and this will happen 967 00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:33,560 Speaker 2: when y'all's kids probably you know, get a little bit older. 968 00:50:33,560 --> 00:50:37,920 Speaker 7: But I've had parents come to me and say, Wow, 969 00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:42,120 Speaker 7: your kid is impressive, or he's so polite or she's 970 00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:46,680 Speaker 7: so respectful or those are the things that really hits you, 971 00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:48,680 Speaker 7: and you're like, okay, doing a good job. 972 00:50:52,920 --> 00:50:55,040 Speaker 8: Didn't let them fall off the cliff. Okay, we're good. 973 00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:57,600 Speaker 5: We're good. I like just doing our own haircuts at home. 974 00:50:57,680 --> 00:51:00,440 Speaker 5: It's awesome, man, it's fun to like he's put a 975 00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:04,000 Speaker 5: mullet and a mohawk together and just like do it. 976 00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:08,520 Speaker 5: What do you call that? I don't know the legend 977 00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:10,680 Speaker 5: of school. I just leaned over my wife the other day. 978 00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:12,280 Speaker 5: We were first, want to send our kids to school 979 00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:14,600 Speaker 5: with a mohawk and a mullet all it's all in one, 980 00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:18,279 Speaker 5: you know, And and it looked like a nasty boy 981 00:51:18,280 --> 00:51:20,279 Speaker 5: from back in the nineties, right. And the next thing, 982 00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:22,160 Speaker 5: you know, we go to a school function the other day. 983 00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:24,200 Speaker 5: This is a Christian school, and I leaned over and 984 00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:27,120 Speaker 5: I said, all the little boys have legends of my cut. 985 00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:30,799 Speaker 5: Now in here, we gotta think something else. Now we 986 00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:33,840 Speaker 5: put vanilla ice lines in their next I think the 987 00:51:33,880 --> 00:51:34,560 Speaker 5: rattail back. 988 00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:40,359 Speaker 6: I like just looking at them and being proud of them. 989 00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:45,920 Speaker 6: With Troy, how he's growing up and he's filtering football 990 00:51:46,160 --> 00:51:49,960 Speaker 6: and he's dedication. Just looking at them and being pro 991 00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:51,640 Speaker 6: to them, he's a good kid. 992 00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:54,640 Speaker 5: Yeah, yes, I really really enjoyed the time we spent together. 993 00:51:56,040 --> 00:52:05,000 Speaker 3: Do you guys listen to the podcast? Can you insert crickets? Here? 994 00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:05,719 Speaker 2: Is? 995 00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:05,840 Speaker 6: This? 996 00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:10,760 Speaker 5: Is this my wife's question, This is a fan question. 997 00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:14,960 Speaker 5: I don't listen to podcasts. I don't. I don't listen 998 00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:16,040 Speaker 5: to any podcasts. 999 00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:17,480 Speaker 3: You don't even listen to your podcast? 1000 00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:18,120 Speaker 6: I do some. 1001 00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:21,840 Speaker 7: Yeah, I mean I'm not a P one listener. You know, 1002 00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:23,560 Speaker 7: I'm not every single episode. 1003 00:52:23,960 --> 00:52:25,160 Speaker 3: I can appreciate that term. 1004 00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:30,560 Speaker 7: Yeah, but yeah, I listened to itally. 1005 00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:36,920 Speaker 2: Does Alan eat any other cheese? Does Alan eat any cheese? 1006 00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:37,680 Speaker 5: She changed it? 1007 00:52:37,880 --> 00:52:42,480 Speaker 3: No tomatoes, no better. What do you guys think of queendom? 1008 00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:48,879 Speaker 5: I mean, can I just be straight up? I have 1009 00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:52,600 Speaker 5: no idea what queen the miss? Oh? Okay, well that's 1010 00:52:52,600 --> 00:52:55,720 Speaker 5: probably good. It's probably good thing that you have girls 1011 00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:58,640 Speaker 5: have a group text thing going. I've always liked it. 1012 00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:03,000 Speaker 7: You know, that kind of bounce ideas off each other 1013 00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:03,839 Speaker 7: and do your little thing. 1014 00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:06,160 Speaker 5: And I don't involved. 1015 00:53:07,160 --> 00:53:08,560 Speaker 3: Are you going to wear a kilt to the wedding? 1016 00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:09,440 Speaker 9: Oh? 1017 00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:12,080 Speaker 5: What a kilt? We're wearing kilts to this thing. 1018 00:53:12,880 --> 00:53:16,279 Speaker 7: I am ridiculously excited about wearing a kid wearing. 1019 00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:17,359 Speaker 5: Are you wearing one? 1020 00:53:18,239 --> 00:53:20,520 Speaker 6: I think so we all are elean. 1021 00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:21,719 Speaker 3: Are you wearing a kilt? 1022 00:53:23,080 --> 00:53:23,719 Speaker 6: Undecided? 1023 00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:26,880 Speaker 5: Undecided? Can I wear one? Regardless? 1024 00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:31,600 Speaker 3: You can't wear kilt questions. 1025 00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:33,880 Speaker 5: I just have one more question about the skirt. So, 1026 00:53:34,239 --> 00:53:36,600 Speaker 5: like with the kilt, do you wear what do you 1027 00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:38,000 Speaker 5: wear from the knees down? 1028 00:53:39,280 --> 00:53:43,040 Speaker 6: You wear like ankle sock so you can listen. There's 1029 00:53:43,120 --> 00:53:45,640 Speaker 6: different stateles, but you're supposed to traditionally you're supposed to 1030 00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:47,560 Speaker 6: be a socks that come up to and. 1031 00:53:47,719 --> 00:53:49,640 Speaker 5: What kind of shoes cowboy. 1032 00:53:49,239 --> 00:53:51,640 Speaker 6: Boots you can put your own? 1033 00:53:51,960 --> 00:53:55,719 Speaker 5: You put your own twist. I kind of like that. Yeah, 1034 00:53:55,719 --> 00:53:56,520 Speaker 5: I'm wearing a kilt. 1035 00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:59,880 Speaker 2: What is something not clothing? What is something not clothing 1036 00:53:59,880 --> 00:54:01,960 Speaker 2: that you hope will make a comeback in twenty twenty four? 1037 00:54:03,320 --> 00:54:06,800 Speaker 2: Clothing not clothing that you hope will make a comeback 1038 00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:07,680 Speaker 2: in twenty twenty four? 1039 00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:10,799 Speaker 3: Mm watch yourself next? 1040 00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:14,400 Speaker 8: Did so? 1041 00:54:14,480 --> 00:54:15,440 Speaker 5: I'm happy over here? 1042 00:54:15,640 --> 00:54:21,520 Speaker 3: We got it about that vasectomy anything? 1043 00:54:22,800 --> 00:54:27,800 Speaker 2: No, Alan people want to know, are you going to 1044 00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:30,040 Speaker 2: watch the delivery? And are you nervous? 1045 00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:35,600 Speaker 6: I'm not nervous. No, I watch it. I won't watch 1046 00:54:36,680 --> 00:54:41,480 Speaker 6: the incision. I won't watch that. You know it was 1047 00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:43,840 Speaker 6: like a few days ago when the woman's putting a 1048 00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:48,600 Speaker 6: needle and you needles two, that's you. 1049 00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:50,800 Speaker 3: He looks like telling the nurse and you're not putting 1050 00:54:50,840 --> 00:54:51,000 Speaker 3: that in. 1051 00:54:53,200 --> 00:54:53,480 Speaker 5: Scared. 1052 00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:57,040 Speaker 6: Yeah, So I won't watch the incision and like I, 1053 00:54:57,440 --> 00:54:59,520 Speaker 6: like I said to you a couple of days ago, 1054 00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:05,719 Speaker 6: I will. My biggest thing is I need to make 1055 00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:07,840 Speaker 6: sure you can focus on me and I focus on you, 1056 00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:10,480 Speaker 6: so you don't need to focus on what's going on 1057 00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:15,040 Speaker 6: now with my legs. 1058 00:55:15,239 --> 00:55:17,399 Speaker 7: That's what I learned in the delivery rooms. Just don't 1059 00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:18,279 Speaker 7: be a liability. 1060 00:55:18,560 --> 00:55:21,439 Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, yeah, I absolutely love the delivery room. 1061 00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:22,720 Speaker 3: This guy. 1062 00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:27,000 Speaker 2: All right, And as we wrap up, As we wrap up, 1063 00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:28,800 Speaker 2: what is one piece of advice that you want to 1064 00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:35,800 Speaker 2: give to the listeners as a partner, Christ I'm. 1065 00:55:35,640 --> 00:55:36,799 Speaker 5: Gonna let my wife give this. 1066 00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:39,400 Speaker 3: No, no, no, this is for the men that this 1067 00:55:39,440 --> 00:55:40,080 Speaker 3: is ment only. 1068 00:55:41,360 --> 00:55:43,279 Speaker 5: I'm gonna be honest. My wife gives me all my 1069 00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:45,760 Speaker 5: good words. Man, she's so good with words. 1070 00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:47,920 Speaker 3: So you'd like me to write this quote for you? 1071 00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:51,400 Speaker 5: You text me real quick while everybody else is answering, 1072 00:55:54,320 --> 00:55:55,120 Speaker 5: I'll go last. 1073 00:55:57,600 --> 00:55:59,600 Speaker 2: I'm going on basically, what is the best piece of 1074 00:55:59,640 --> 00:56:03,680 Speaker 2: advice either as you know, for relationally, fatherhood wise, or 1075 00:56:03,719 --> 00:56:04,719 Speaker 2: just something that you. 1076 00:56:06,400 --> 00:56:09,600 Speaker 3: That you've received or that okay, then pressing fun. 1077 00:56:10,160 --> 00:56:14,320 Speaker 5: It's not always easy, but it's always amazing. No matter 1078 00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:18,439 Speaker 5: what the day brings. It could be the toughest day, 1079 00:56:18,600 --> 00:56:20,520 Speaker 5: but at the end of the day, you're in the 1080 00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:24,040 Speaker 5: most amazing moments of your life and they're fleeting in 1081 00:56:24,080 --> 00:56:26,359 Speaker 5: a snap of a finger. They're going to be two, 1082 00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:29,960 Speaker 5: somebody told me, and I never believed when we had 1083 00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:32,640 Speaker 5: our first kid, when Love was first born. Tim Richards, 1084 00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:34,600 Speaker 5: the radio guy in Phoenix, he called me up and 1085 00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:39,160 Speaker 5: he said, pressing the first six months is going to 1086 00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:43,560 Speaker 5: feel like ten years, and six to one is going 1087 00:56:43,640 --> 00:56:47,160 Speaker 5: to feel like five years, and one to three is 1088 00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:49,680 Speaker 5: going to feel like two years. And then all of 1089 00:56:49,719 --> 00:56:53,719 Speaker 5: a sudden, everything is like five minutes from there out. 1090 00:56:53,840 --> 00:56:56,680 Speaker 5: And he was like, it's just gonna it's just going 1091 00:56:56,760 --> 00:56:59,080 Speaker 5: to take off like a rocket and it's all going 1092 00:56:59,160 --> 00:57:00,800 Speaker 5: to be a snap of a finger. I know you 1093 00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:04,200 Speaker 5: guys are in it right now what you said about 1094 00:57:04,200 --> 00:57:07,279 Speaker 5: all the different events, But before you know it, they're 1095 00:57:07,320 --> 00:57:09,640 Speaker 5: all going to be in school someplace and you're gonna 1096 00:57:09,640 --> 00:57:11,480 Speaker 5: be like wishing you could go to the soccer game 1097 00:57:11,520 --> 00:57:14,960 Speaker 5: and the cheerleading in and dance and so sometow somehow 1098 00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:17,840 Speaker 5: embrace that, you know. I mean, it's not easy. We 1099 00:57:17,960 --> 00:57:21,720 Speaker 5: got to be everywhere at once, but nxs. 1100 00:57:25,480 --> 00:57:28,520 Speaker 7: Just you're gonna have highs, You're gonna have lows. Just 1101 00:57:28,760 --> 00:57:31,960 Speaker 7: never give up. You just you never know what's right 1102 00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:36,880 Speaker 7: around the corner. And learn from your past mistakes, walking 1103 00:57:36,960 --> 00:57:39,480 Speaker 7: each day with more wisdom. 1104 00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:40,120 Speaker 5: You know. 1105 00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:47,160 Speaker 7: Don't don't let something you've gone through in the past 1106 00:57:48,240 --> 00:57:50,919 Speaker 7: not prepare you for the future. If that makes sense. 1107 00:57:53,600 --> 00:58:00,760 Speaker 7: There's wisdom and everything. And it took me to my 1108 00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:03,440 Speaker 7: age now to kind of realize that. So now I'm 1109 00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:05,280 Speaker 7: kind of looking back on things that we may have 1110 00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:07,080 Speaker 7: gone through in the past and Okay, what could I 1111 00:58:07,120 --> 00:58:09,760 Speaker 7: have learned from those moments. 1112 00:58:10,080 --> 00:58:12,640 Speaker 5: That may have prepared me better? 1113 00:58:14,320 --> 00:58:18,120 Speaker 7: In presence, man, just be present, Be present for your kids, 1114 00:58:18,160 --> 00:58:21,720 Speaker 7: be present for your your spouse. And that's tough, especially 1115 00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:24,720 Speaker 7: with you know, careers like we have. It's it's never on, 1116 00:58:25,440 --> 00:58:30,640 Speaker 7: I'm saying, fully on, never off. So you always have 1117 00:58:30,720 --> 00:58:33,480 Speaker 7: to make that time. 1118 00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:34,560 Speaker 5: For your relationship. 1119 00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:42,760 Speaker 6: How do I follow PASTA. 1120 00:58:42,160 --> 00:58:50,919 Speaker 5: I jumped in real quick because I thought about that. 1121 00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:52,760 Speaker 6: Every phrase mindfulness, present. 1122 00:58:53,760 --> 00:58:55,800 Speaker 4: That's how I feel about girls. 1123 00:59:01,200 --> 00:59:03,360 Speaker 2: People just want to hear you talk anyways. So it's 1124 00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:05,560 Speaker 2: it's a twinkled twinkle little. 1125 00:59:05,360 --> 00:59:06,080 Speaker 5: Star, I think. 1126 00:59:06,880 --> 00:59:10,320 Speaker 6: I think it's and this comes with maturity as well. 1127 00:59:10,360 --> 00:59:14,080 Speaker 6: I think just recognizing because I was guilty when I 1128 00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:17,960 Speaker 6: was when I was a young father with Troy, like 1129 00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:20,960 Speaker 6: I was a professional footballer, and a lot of it 1130 00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:23,520 Speaker 6: had to be about my match day on a Saturday. 1131 00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:25,680 Speaker 6: How do how do I get what I need? And 1132 00:59:25,680 --> 00:59:30,280 Speaker 6: and as you mature, obviously Troy is older now and 1133 00:59:30,320 --> 00:59:32,800 Speaker 6: the baby's on its way, but as you mature, it's 1134 00:59:32,840 --> 00:59:34,840 Speaker 6: almost like what's best for everyone? 1135 00:59:35,240 --> 00:59:35,560 Speaker 3: Mhm. 1136 00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:38,520 Speaker 6: You need to take care of what you need as 1137 00:59:38,560 --> 00:59:41,439 Speaker 6: a man and as a father, and but what's best 1138 00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:43,520 Speaker 6: for what's what's the best thing for everyone? 1139 00:59:43,560 --> 00:59:47,720 Speaker 2: It's almost like that piece of selfishness is not there. Yeah, 1140 00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:52,200 Speaker 2: it's beautiful. Well, boys, we appreciate you. Thank you for 1141 00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:55,040 Speaker 2: coming on. And this is fun. 1142 00:59:55,280 --> 00:59:57,520 Speaker 3: Let's uh, this is let's go have a baby. 1143 00:59:58,800 --> 01:00:02,360 Speaker 5: It's happening and minute, let's go have a baby. 1144 01:00:02,400 --> 01:00:04,320 Speaker 2: All right, guys, Well, thank you for coming on. We 1145 01:00:04,360 --> 01:00:09,240 Speaker 2: really appreciate you. Any last words, Kristin, You're always good 1146 01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:09,920 Speaker 2: with the last. 1147 01:00:09,680 --> 01:00:16,040 Speaker 3: Word in closing, I just think it's really important in 1148 01:00:16,080 --> 01:00:19,680 Speaker 3: parenthood and marriage, relationships, friendships, anything, just to say what 1149 01:00:19,720 --> 01:00:22,160 Speaker 3: you want, what you need, and what you feel. And 1150 01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:25,280 Speaker 3: I think that we can't expect anyone to understand what 1151 01:00:25,320 --> 01:00:27,640 Speaker 3: we need or predict what we need without vocalizing it. 1152 01:00:27,760 --> 01:00:29,560 Speaker 3: I think that has been a game changer for us 1153 01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:32,720 Speaker 3: as parents and in our marriage. Is just me saying 1154 01:00:33,680 --> 01:00:36,520 Speaker 3: I need more help in the mornings. I need to 1155 01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:39,840 Speaker 3: date you. I need to feel like a girlfriend. That's 1156 01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:42,520 Speaker 3: recently been a big one. So I just think if 1157 01:00:42,520 --> 01:00:44,480 Speaker 3: we all just communicate a little more, then I think 1158 01:00:44,480 --> 01:00:46,480 Speaker 3: it solves a lot of problems. Nobody's a mind reader, 1159 01:00:46,640 --> 01:00:50,680 Speaker 3: and especially when you're not sleeping, postpartum depression and anxiety 1160 01:00:50,720 --> 01:00:52,080 Speaker 3: are a real thing. If you feel like you're too 1161 01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:53,880 Speaker 3: low or too anxious, you need to talk to a 1162 01:00:53,880 --> 01:00:56,919 Speaker 3: healthcare provider or counselor don't be afraid to admit it 1163 01:00:56,960 --> 01:01:00,000 Speaker 3: is the most common of all things. And you don't 1164 01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:02,560 Speaker 3: lose any mom credibility by having those two things. 1165 01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:07,360 Speaker 2: Amen, all right, see you next week. I'm the kind 1166 01:01:07,400 --> 01:01:09,040 Speaker 2: of three one, two three, Bye 1167 01:01:18,760 --> 01:01:18,800 Speaker 8: H