1 00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:03,040 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if 2 00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:06,960 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more. 3 00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:11,360 Speaker 1: Please baby, please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEBARBFM dot 4 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 1: com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading 5 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:17,640 Speaker 1: your letter live on the air, just like we're going 6 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:19,880 Speaker 1: to read this one right here, right now, and you 7 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:22,920 Speaker 1: never know, it could be yours. It could be yours. 8 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,599 Speaker 1: Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for 9 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:28,520 Speaker 1: you here. It is for Auberry Letter. Thank you, nephew. Subject. 10 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:32,160 Speaker 1: I went to her house to get my husband. Dear 11 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:36,000 Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley. I'm fifty three and I've been married twenty 12 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:39,920 Speaker 1: two years. I've been struggling with my husband's two female 13 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:43,520 Speaker 1: friends for twenty five years, since the day I met him. 14 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:47,599 Speaker 1: We met at an alumni ball and they were his dates. 15 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:50,400 Speaker 1: They had to approve of me before we got serious 16 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,560 Speaker 1: with each other. My husband's two female friends live next 17 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:57,640 Speaker 1: door to each other. Their husbands accepted my husband as 18 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,960 Speaker 1: their wives bonus husband. I never liked it, but I 19 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:05,480 Speaker 1: never said anything about it. Many nights, for many years, 20 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:08,440 Speaker 1: my husband has been partying over at one of their houses. 21 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,120 Speaker 1: He never invited me to any of their parties. 22 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:14,200 Speaker 2: He always said that there would be drinking and they 23 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,840 Speaker 2: would be playing cards all night. 24 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:19,080 Speaker 1: I don't drink or play cards. My husband says that's 25 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:22,319 Speaker 1: what he loved about me. Recently, I started using an 26 00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:25,440 Speaker 1: app to track our teenagers in case of emergency. I 27 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:27,960 Speaker 1: added my husband to the app and forgot to tell 28 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:31,399 Speaker 1: him Friday night, it worked in my favor. It was 29 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:34,240 Speaker 1: late and my husband wasn't home yet, so I located 30 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:36,440 Speaker 1: him on the app. He was at one of the 31 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:39,480 Speaker 1: female friends' houses. I got up and I went to 32 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:42,399 Speaker 1: get him. The back door was unlocked, and I walked 33 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:45,520 Speaker 1: in and saw my husband, the ladies, their husbands, and 34 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:49,360 Speaker 1: I counted eight more people. They were all in swimsuits, 35 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:52,760 Speaker 1: and one of the white girls said they were about 36 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 1: to go skinny dipping in the lake. There is a 37 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 1: lake behind the houses, but the water is very nasty. 38 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,080 Speaker 1: My husband and said it wasn't true, but he had 39 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 1: on his swim trunks. He pulled me aside and told 40 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:08,360 Speaker 1: me not to ever embarrass him like that again. He's 41 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 1: been ignoring me for days. I know my behavior was 42 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:14,480 Speaker 1: out of character, So how do I fix this? Those 43 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:17,160 Speaker 1: females are a bad influence I hope that we can 44 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:19,960 Speaker 1: work things out. Do you think I've lost him to 45 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:24,760 Speaker 1: his friends? Well, you never had him from his friends. 46 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:27,400 Speaker 1: He never left his friends. He just added you to 47 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:30,720 Speaker 1: his mix and you became part of what he already 48 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:33,960 Speaker 1: had going on. And you never did anything differently. So 49 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:36,800 Speaker 1: it's the friends and then it's you. That's how it is. 50 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:39,400 Speaker 1: You're not number one in his life. He doesn't consider 51 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:42,400 Speaker 1: your feelings, he doesn't consider your position as his wife 52 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 1: in his life. That should be number one at all times. 53 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:48,320 Speaker 1: You don't have to fix anything. You didn't do anything. 54 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:50,920 Speaker 1: You've been dealing with this mess for twenty five years. 55 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:54,800 Speaker 1: He's been with you and with them for that long. 56 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:57,359 Speaker 1: You said you met them when you met him twenty 57 00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:00,360 Speaker 1: five years ago. How dare he try to slip it 58 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,359 Speaker 1: on you and try to make you the problem and 59 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:05,480 Speaker 1: now he's ignoring you. You are not the problem. You 60 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:07,880 Speaker 1: just should have spoken up and not allowed this a 61 00:03:07,919 --> 00:03:12,240 Speaker 1: long time ago. He and his toxic, disrespectful relationship with 62 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:15,600 Speaker 1: these so called female friends, that's the problem. So you 63 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:18,320 Speaker 1: need to stop being okay with him going over there 64 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:21,760 Speaker 1: and drinking and partying and playing cards all night. Okay, 65 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:23,720 Speaker 1: that's what you need to do and stop allowing him 66 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,920 Speaker 1: to make you feel like you did something to him, 67 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 1: because who was going to be skinny dipping with the 68 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 1: white girls? What were they there for? Okay? And he 69 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:34,280 Speaker 1: was already in his trunks. He's got a lot of 70 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:35,120 Speaker 1: explaining to do. 71 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 2: He can stay over there with his female friends and 72 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:40,160 Speaker 2: his swimming trunks, or come home and be a husband 73 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:40,480 Speaker 2: to you. 74 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,960 Speaker 3: Steve. We'll get to that white girl in a minute, 75 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:47,200 Speaker 3: because that's what really what this whole damn letter about 76 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:51,640 Speaker 3: to you. We'll get to the white girl in the minute, 77 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 3: cause I'm telling you right now that what the white 78 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:56,640 Speaker 3: girl comes from, because that's what it is. I have 79 00:03:56,840 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 3: told y'all over and over and over about these female friends, 80 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:06,000 Speaker 3: about friends of the opposite sex. I have told you 81 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,760 Speaker 3: all about this over and over and over again. I 82 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,680 Speaker 3: don't know why y'all think uncle Steve had lost his 83 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 3: damn mind. Well, Steve, you just oh, okay, all right, Okay, 84 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:22,000 Speaker 3: I'll accept that, Steve. It ain't like that no more. 85 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,360 Speaker 3: A lot of stuff ain't like it is, but it's 86 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:28,520 Speaker 3: some things don't ever change. Now, I got all of 87 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,120 Speaker 3: that that y'all saying about me, But I have told 88 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:36,360 Speaker 3: y'all about these friends. Now, you've been married twenty two years. 89 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,760 Speaker 3: You've been struggling with my husband's two female friends for 90 00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:43,680 Speaker 3: twenty five years. That's the day you met him with 91 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,520 Speaker 3: twenty five years ago. You met him at an alumni 92 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:53,880 Speaker 3: ball and both of them girls was his dates. They 93 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:57,599 Speaker 3: had to approve of me before we got serious with 94 00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:58,080 Speaker 3: each other. 95 00:04:59,040 --> 00:04:59,360 Speaker 1: Girl. 96 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:08,800 Speaker 3: You ain't talking about his mama, You ain't talking about 97 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:15,280 Speaker 3: his sister. You're talking about these two chicks. Now hear 98 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:21,000 Speaker 3: the crazy part. Their husbands, the two females girls husbands 99 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:26,400 Speaker 3: have accepted my husband's as their wives bonus husband. I 100 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:28,680 Speaker 3: never liked it, but I never said anything about it. 101 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:31,240 Speaker 3: Now I'm a little bit confused now because this is 102 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:36,479 Speaker 3: not black activity. This is complete black activity. I'm starting to, 103 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:40,000 Speaker 3: you know, in the words of Robin Thick, blurred lines, 104 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:43,440 Speaker 3: we were dealing with some blurred lines here, because now 105 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:45,839 Speaker 3: I'm starting to see what he a little later on 106 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,400 Speaker 3: when the white girls was in the bikinis. Now I'm 107 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:52,680 Speaker 3: starting to see where the white girl came from. Somebody, 108 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 3: somebody introduced that element to it, because I don't know 109 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 3: no black dudes that's cool with they wife having a 110 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:13,839 Speaker 3: bonus husband. Boy, what man, you must have lost your 111 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:19,719 Speaker 3: rabbit mind. So and many nights for years, your husband 112 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:21,880 Speaker 3: been partying over at one of their house. He never 113 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,120 Speaker 3: invited you to the parties because he said they'd be 114 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,760 Speaker 3: drinking and playing cars, and you'll drink or play cars. 115 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 3: And that's what he say loved about you. And now 116 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:31,400 Speaker 3: you done got this app to track your teenagers hit 117 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:34,080 Speaker 3: the part I like in case of emergency, I added 118 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:36,599 Speaker 3: my husband to the app, and I forgot to tell him. 119 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 3: You just said damn that you don't well. 120 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,920 Speaker 2: Right, hang on, Steve, we'll have part two of your 121 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:46,640 Speaker 2: response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. 122 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:49,560 Speaker 2: Today's Strawberry letter subject I went to her house to 123 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 2: get my husband back after this. 124 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:56,160 Speaker 1: You're listening morning show. All right, come on, Steve, let's 125 00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:58,719 Speaker 1: recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject is I went to 126 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:01,479 Speaker 1: her house to get my Yeah. 127 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:05,080 Speaker 3: Well, all right. She's got this lady that's been in 128 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:08,360 Speaker 3: this relationship twenty five years with this man, been married 129 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:11,560 Speaker 3: twenty two. She met him at an alumni ball and 130 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 3: his date was these two female friends that she has 131 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:18,720 Speaker 3: she has a problem with. They've been friends this whole times. 132 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:23,160 Speaker 3: Both of these girlfriends have husbands. The husbands have accepted 133 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:29,000 Speaker 3: this woman's husband as their bonus husband. Now that throws 134 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,120 Speaker 3: me off because that black people don't do that. 135 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,800 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be over Listen to me. 136 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:38,840 Speaker 3: That is really nothing black people do. But you know, 137 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:41,120 Speaker 3: times have changed. You know it's different now, Stephen, it 138 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:43,760 Speaker 3: might be different, but I tell you what they at different. 139 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:47,480 Speaker 3: These friends I keep telling y'all about I play long. 140 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,800 Speaker 3: So they've accepted him as a bonus husband. And she 141 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:53,680 Speaker 3: always go over their house to party, and he say, 142 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:55,760 Speaker 3: they go over there and they be drinking and playing cards. 143 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:59,600 Speaker 3: She's never invited to come over there because she don't 144 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,720 Speaker 3: drink or play cards. And he told her that's what 145 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:06,440 Speaker 3: he loved about her. So that's always created a problem. 146 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 3: Now recently, she says she started using this app so 147 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:12,760 Speaker 3: she could track their teenagers and I forgot to end, 148 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,400 Speaker 3: but she added her husband to the app, and I 149 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:22,040 Speaker 3: forgot to tell him, Yeah, that's not true. You know 150 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:29,680 Speaker 3: what women don't do forget? Then you know that's why 151 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:35,600 Speaker 3: I think women don't do forget. Oh, I forgot to 152 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:42,280 Speaker 3: tell you, dog, women don't forget nothing. They don't forget 153 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:46,160 Speaker 3: nothing done. So that was a bold face life. But 154 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 3: did she say? But it worked in my favor. It 155 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:52,720 Speaker 3: was late. My husband wasn't home yet, so I located 156 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,560 Speaker 3: him on the app. He was at one of the 157 00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:57,320 Speaker 3: female friends' houses. I got up and I went to 158 00:08:57,320 --> 00:09:00,520 Speaker 3: get him. The back door was unlocked and I walked in. 159 00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:06,480 Speaker 3: I saw my husbands, the ladies, they husband, and I 160 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:13,960 Speaker 3: counted eight more people. They were all in swimsuits and 161 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:19,000 Speaker 3: one one of the white girls, which means that was more. 162 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:24,079 Speaker 3: One of the white girls said, they're about to go 163 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:33,200 Speaker 3: skinny dipping in the lake. Skinny dipping in naked. Right, 164 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:37,080 Speaker 3: there's a lake behind the house. But the water is 165 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:45,320 Speaker 3: very nasty. It's nasty to you. But if it's dark outside, 166 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:50,920 Speaker 3: it just looked like water. My husband said it wasn't true, 167 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:56,280 Speaker 3: but he had on his swim trunk. Boy, you're sitting 168 00:09:56,360 --> 00:10:02,320 Speaker 3: up the damn nil in your drawers with this white girl, 169 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:07,680 Speaker 3: one of the white girls, and said, y'all was good enough. 170 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:11,240 Speaker 3: He pulled me outside and told me, don't you ever 171 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:15,079 Speaker 3: embassed me like that again? Wow, good move, dog, because 172 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,520 Speaker 3: the best defense is a good offense. That's what you 173 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:20,480 Speaker 3: were supposed to do. But can I tell you how 174 00:10:20,559 --> 00:10:23,760 Speaker 3: dead wrong you are bro Yeah, and I'm not gonna 175 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:25,880 Speaker 3: be able to save you on this one. Because you 176 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:28,640 Speaker 3: were sitting up there in your swimming trunk. I thought 177 00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:31,959 Speaker 3: y'all was drinking and playing card. How's everybody in the house? 178 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:37,520 Speaker 3: I walk in half naked, and then guess what? He's 179 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,960 Speaker 3: been ignoring me for days? Now? Guess what this woman did. 180 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,520 Speaker 3: I know my behavior was out of character, So how 181 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:47,400 Speaker 3: do I fix this? Then guess what she said? Those 182 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 3: females are bad influence. I hope we can work things out. 183 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,800 Speaker 3: Do you think I've lost him to his friends? Sureley said, 184 00:10:55,840 --> 00:11:00,400 Speaker 3: you ain't never had it. You haven't lost him to 185 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:03,520 Speaker 3: the friends. You never had him because of the friends. 186 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,040 Speaker 3: He didn't give up nothing to have to be with you. 187 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:09,040 Speaker 3: He didn't have to give up nothing. He kept his 188 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:13,440 Speaker 3: same lifestyle everything. He didn't change anything to be with you. 189 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:17,120 Speaker 3: He made you accept what he was about, and he 190 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,160 Speaker 3: wasn't about to change. He wasn't giving up the two friends. 191 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,600 Speaker 3: Now twenty two years, you don't went over to the house. 192 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:26,560 Speaker 3: They all got on swimsuits. Man, can you imagine being 193 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:29,440 Speaker 3: somewhere and your spouse walk in and you sit up 194 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,800 Speaker 3: in a room with two other couples and eight more 195 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:35,599 Speaker 3: people and from white girls, and they got on swimsuits 196 00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:38,400 Speaker 3: and they're talking about pulled me outside, talking about don't 197 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:41,680 Speaker 3: you ambarrass me like this? Hell is your clothes at. 198 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:45,959 Speaker 1: That's so crazy? Basically in your underwear. 199 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:47,480 Speaker 3: You really are And the white girl said, we send 200 00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:50,800 Speaker 3: to go outside and skinny gift. That's not true. I 201 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:53,440 Speaker 3: was not going nowhere. But once you had your swimming 202 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:56,920 Speaker 3: truncks on, true, ain't got no pool. Ain't no pool. 203 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,840 Speaker 3: It's a lake. Can you describe that scene one more? 204 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,200 Speaker 3: It looked like when you walked in, she walk in. 205 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:09,599 Speaker 3: There's two couples in there. One of the couples is 206 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:13,200 Speaker 3: in a mixed relationship, because that's how the eight more 207 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:15,960 Speaker 3: people got over there, and the white girls was there. 208 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:22,679 Speaker 3: Ain't no white girls just showed up. Four black people 209 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:26,319 Speaker 3: are married. Ain't that? Don't that? Ain't adding y'all right? 210 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:30,359 Speaker 3: Right right, but somebody is in an inner racial relationship. 211 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,199 Speaker 3: And then brought this into the mix. And your husband 212 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:36,040 Speaker 3: just over there, just clap it. He don't believe you 213 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:38,679 Speaker 3: walked up in there. Everybody got on swim suits. Your 214 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:42,560 Speaker 3: husband got on swimming trunks. He ready to go down 215 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:46,440 Speaker 3: to the lake. Yes, he is in that nasty water? 216 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:47,960 Speaker 1: All right. 217 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:55,760 Speaker 2: Up the Great Strawberry Letter on Instagram and Facebook, and 218 00:12:56,200 --> 00:13:00,840 Speaker 2: the Strawberry Up in Here by Cats on the free 219 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:05,880 Speaker 2: iHeartRadio app, where free never sounded so good. You could 220 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:09,920 Speaker 2: download it today, Show me up in forty six minutes 221 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:11,480 Speaker 2: after the hour, we got. 222 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:16,400 Speaker 1: Sports talk with Junior. Right after this, you're listening Hard 223 00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:17,160 Speaker 1: Morning Show