Speaker 1: Worries me about the end is that I'll do something
Speaker 1: and commit to living like it's the end and that
Speaker 1: it's not. And I just like killed my neighbor. Y
Speaker 1: two k.
Speaker 2: Now you got a book, you got you got a
Speaker 2: dead body and a bunch of corn in your basement,
Speaker 2: and you're like, all right, God, darn, I guess I'll
Speaker 2: go back to telling jokes about my girlfriend.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a dead body on the floor, Like, so
Speaker 1: can I still at me?
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm gonna have to cancel at the House of Comedy.
Speaker 4: Or quality racist The money's turkey stuff.
Speaker 2: I can't tell me.
Speaker 5: Cause you gotta have diamonds and pearls, whether you're a
Speaker 5: boy or a girl. Welcome to another phenomenal episode Little
Speaker 5: Mama's and Gentiles Alike of My Mama Told Me.
Speaker 2: The podcast where we dive deep deep into the pockets
Speaker 2: of black conspiracy theories and.
Speaker 1: We finally worked to prove that the prayer Dion Warwick
Speaker 1: said the Little Prayer for You was in fact about
Speaker 1: her niece, Whitney Houston. She saw it coming the whole time.
Speaker 2: Damn the fortune teller Dion Warwick come, amongst many other things, Italian,
Speaker 2: she wears a lot of hats, some of them real
Speaker 2: silly because she was a fortune teller of sorts, and
Speaker 2: you're saying that she could see the future and see
Speaker 2: that Whitney would eventually become a woman struggling with cocaine.
Speaker 1: She knew it was gonna be tough on Neppie. Here's
Speaker 1: my question.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm like sain Kermin and I'm listening.
Speaker 1: He is like, how do you feel about fortune telling?
Speaker 2: I believe, and I think I've I've said this maybe
Speaker 2: on the podcast before. I believe that if you start
Speaker 2: fucking with that shit, you're opening up a world of
Speaker 2: problems that I don't want to ever explore.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you keep knocking on the devil's door. Somebody gonna answer, Yeah,
Speaker 6: that's fair. Yeah, I'm not I'm not brave enough. I
Speaker 6: would say to be one of those people who's like, goot,
Speaker 6: sain't real. The fortune telling that ain't that shit ain't true.
Speaker 2: Like, I don't know if it's real or if it's
Speaker 2: not real, but I know if I start fucking with it,
Speaker 2: then I'm gonna start seeing some shit that I don't
Speaker 2: want to see when I'm laying in bed at night.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's reasonable.
Speaker 2: Yeah, where are you?
Speaker 1: Sometimes I think maybe I need more devil.
Speaker 2: Hmmm, that you you want to welcome the devil into
Speaker 2: your home? You know, I think you gotta try stuff. Okay,
Speaker 2: you don't feel like you've tried.
Speaker 7: I feel like, Okay, I don't mean this in a
Speaker 7: shaming way, but more than most of my friends, I
Speaker 7: would say, you're you're a person who's who's tried a
Speaker 7: little bit of everything.
Speaker 1: I think that's a nice way to say.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think you're a man who's dabbled in
Speaker 2: all of good fortune and bad fortune. Yeah, And so
Speaker 2: you don't think that that was enough to get the devil.
Speaker 1: I never maybe I just never have had a direct
Speaker 1: what I felt like was a direct encounter.
Speaker 2: Right, you had that, but you told us that ghost.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think that was the devil though. I
Speaker 1: think that ghosts are different than the devil.
Speaker 2: Okay, you don't associate ghosts with the devil.
Speaker 1: Not particularly. They kind of feel like I feel like
Speaker 1: they're like ghosts are like like they've gone rogue, like
Speaker 1: they're doing their.
Speaker 2: Own devil can't even funk with them.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, they have a score to settle and
Speaker 1: it's on them. Yeah, he doesn't need to know where
Speaker 1: they're at. They're not checking in. He's like, they were
Speaker 1: supposed to be in Hell three weeks ago. Meanwhile they're
Speaker 1: up here in some little kid's room. What's it?
Speaker 2: What's that Nicholas Cage movie where he I like, how
Speaker 2: you do it with a soft sea? What Nicholas Cage?
Speaker 2: Just like you said, Nicholas, Nicholas Cage. Who's that Nicholas
Speaker 2: Cage Fella? Nicholas Cage doesn't didn't he he was that
Speaker 2: marvel man whose head is on fire?
Speaker 1: Oh? Oh yeah? Yeah? What is his name? Hell Rider?
Speaker 1: He's a he's a bicyclist, daddy bike daddy, daddy horns,
Speaker 1: daddy fire bike horn biker.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't remember his name, ghost Rider ghost It's
Speaker 2: a ship film. Obviously it was very bad. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: Nicholas Cage was very bad in it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, he did not do a good job.
Speaker 2: But by your suggestion, it sounds like ghosts for you
Speaker 2: or Ghos ghost Rider than they are too servants of
Speaker 2: the devil.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Also, my thing about the devil is people talk
Speaker 1: about the devil doing stuff to them. Nobody ever talks
Speaker 1: about it being bad to be an actual servant of
Speaker 1: the devil. So here's you know what I'm saying. Like
Speaker 1: as a job, people are like, oh, the devil did
Speaker 1: this to me, he got me. But you never hear
Speaker 1: anybody like I work for the devil and it's kind
Speaker 1: of great. He's a fun boss. Four one K. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, You.
Speaker 2: Can stick something in people's butts.
Speaker 1: My kids got.
Speaker 2: Here's my thing is that I've always felt and this
Speaker 2: I think goes in line with both devil and ghosts
Speaker 2: that in the case of possession, I don't want for
Speaker 2: the law. I don't want to be possessed because it's
Speaker 2: nine tenths of the law. But should I be possessed,
Speaker 2: I'm not fighting it. I am embracing it.
Speaker 1: That's what you would have to do.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be fucking bending backwards and throwing
Speaker 2: up green, do you know what I mean? Like, I
Speaker 2: want to fucking just be cool inside my own body
Speaker 2: with a little devil hanging out in there. And I
Speaker 2: think that part of the reason their eyes get all
Speaker 2: crazy and they're trying to fight it. They're trying to
Speaker 2: fight it, and you just gotta let the devil do
Speaker 2: what the devil does.
Speaker 1: That's crazy. I always thought the devil goes into you
Speaker 1: and then you're like, it's like you're sleeping or something. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like I thought they were not conscious of that at all,
Speaker 1: because as a kid, that was the thing I was
Speaker 1: the most afraid of, was the idea of being possessed.
Speaker 2: But why are they acting all crazy if that's just
Speaker 2: because the demon wants to scare the other people. It's
Speaker 2: not to scare you, it's to show other people, like
Speaker 2: look what I could do. Yeah, but but I would
Speaker 2: say that there are other ways you could scare a
Speaker 2: motherfucker as a demon, besides making me shit out of
Speaker 2: my mouth, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like you could just show up.
Speaker 2: You just have a gun and be like I'm a
Speaker 2: fucking shoot all of you. I mean, Or you could
Speaker 2: just be a demon. Yeah, oh shit, you just do
Speaker 2: some shit, you know, I don't know how to do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you could just show yourself.
Speaker 2: You just watch me moon walking. You're like that Nigga's possessed.
Speaker 2: I never did that before.
Speaker 1: He can't do it. He can't do that, man. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I forgot where we were going.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know that we're going anywhere. We never
Speaker 2: are going anywhere. We are here today in studio and live.
Speaker 2: You're fucking here. You you you came all the way
Speaker 2: from Denver because we had a very special guest and.
Speaker 1: That just hang out.
Speaker 2: We got Terry Crews on Terry Crewis finally came and
Speaker 2: it didn't go well.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I snuffed it. Bro, What if I
Speaker 1: beat up Terry Crews, You'd never be able to talk
Speaker 1: to me again?
Speaker 3: Me?
Speaker 1: No, I like, I would just my egos.
Speaker 2: Oh you're saying you wouldn't allow people to talk to you.
Speaker 1: My ego would go crazy.
Speaker 2: I'll be honest, I'd keep calling.
Speaker 1: No, yeah, we could still hang out.
Speaker 2: I know it's not even that I it's obviously I
Speaker 2: wouldn't want to hang out. But I just would want
Speaker 2: you to know how much I'm impressed by.
Speaker 1: Oh. Yeah, I think if you.
Speaker 2: Beat up Terry Crews, it would become inappropriate relationship between
Speaker 2: us because I'd be too I'd be too big of fame.
Speaker 1: You would admire my work too much.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like we can't be co hosts anymore.
Speaker 1: Fucking impressed because I'm elevated because I put that dude down.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you fucking you fucking sniped him.
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Would Oh, I would have to. I would sneak him.
Speaker 2: That's the only way this because let's be honest for real,
Speaker 2: that's a big motherfucker.
Speaker 1: He would beat the ship out of me. That's a
Speaker 1: big and that would be a tough out for me.
Speaker 1: He's like Terry Crews hears this and he beats my ass.
Speaker 1: Soon it's gonna be I'm gonna have to go underground
Speaker 1: for a minute. Yeah, I mean, I'll be the support
Speaker 1: of the little mamas to lift me up.
Speaker 2: That was always my problem with the way that Chris
Speaker 2: Rock handled getting slapped, was like a of course you're
Speaker 2: gonna lose this fight to Will Smith. Yeah, there's never
Speaker 2: been a doubt from anyone who's who's watched looked at
Speaker 2: the two of you standing next to each other. Who's
Speaker 2: gonna win this fight? Make it funny, man, scream, fall down,
Speaker 2: say he's killing me. He's fucking killing Like you have
Speaker 2: to play this big and make it silly. And instead
Speaker 2: he tried to be a man and.
Speaker 1: I start fighting scared your mom.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's like no, if you fucking yeah, you gotta
Speaker 2: fucking yeah, you can't. Just like I would have been
Speaker 2: running around that room being like.
Speaker 1: Merrow straight, merlow straight did Juessey what he did?
Speaker 2: That may like I would have fucking eroded the evening because.
Speaker 1: Listen, different dudes are playing different games. If you're trying
Speaker 1: to do the game, I could beat everybody up. That's like,
Speaker 1: you run out of that real quick. Some of us
Speaker 1: are just funny love you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Some of us just make you laugh and each out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's and that's thank God for us. I would,
Speaker 1: i would.
Speaker 2: Say, more valuable than than those who punch you in
Speaker 2: the head.
Speaker 1: Come on, in the winter time. You want some guy
Speaker 1: who's gonna push you in the head. You want a
Speaker 1: guy who's gonna eat that push and he's gonna talk
Speaker 1: like that after he eats. I'm gonna say that.
Speaker 2: We we have a conspiracy today. This is a I
Speaker 2: would say, one of my own cooking. This is a
Speaker 2: homeown conspiracy theory. I have been thinking about this quite
Speaker 2: a bit, and I ran it past you, and you
Speaker 2: you seemed interested, You seemed open.
Speaker 1: I just like to hang out. Yeah, I hope we
Speaker 1: can get some sandwiches.
Speaker 2: I think we're gonna get some sandwiches. But before we do, uh,
Speaker 2: we landed on and you you picked the verbiage. I
Speaker 2: think it's beautiful words that you chose. But you said,
Speaker 2: my mama told me white people cooking has aultro feed.
Speaker 1: And I think that I'm in wholeheartedly. Yeah, because they
Speaker 1: are fucking ship up. Yeah it's not Oh my god,
Speaker 1: what are they on the you guys are out here
Speaker 1: looking crazy? Yeah.
Speaker 2: There there are those videos that have become very popular
Speaker 2: of black people, and you showed we talked about one
Speaker 2: person in particular, but there are I think super shout
Speaker 2: out super Ray. But I think there are a bunch
Speaker 2: of examples of it of black people watching white people
Speaker 2: cook weird meals where it's like a lot of like
Speaker 2: ground beef, then with cheese, then with like pudding, and
Speaker 2: it's like what the.
Speaker 1: Fuck They make it into a jellow mold and you're like,
Speaker 1: this is fucked up. This is a sin.
Speaker 2: And then you watch a skinny white woman eat it
Speaker 2: and you're like.
Speaker 1: Smiling or just like she puts like chicken in the microwave,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Yeah, to cook it, not just to like reheat it
Speaker 2: or put a finishing brown on it, like to fully
Speaker 2: be like no, this is cooked now.
Speaker 1: And it's like when did this happen. When did you stop?
Speaker 1: When did you stop being able to feed yourself?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a really crazy, it's fucking nut. It's odd
Speaker 2: because it's like one thing. Every group has food, everybody
Speaker 2: likes to cook. It's truly the root of all culture
Speaker 2: is just being like, well, we are connected because we
Speaker 2: have these foods and we eat them this way, and
Speaker 2: white people are sort of like, nah, we don't no collective.
Speaker 1: Do you think it's like there's also a disconnect to
Speaker 1: like in America because I think white people abroad can cook.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I think this is an American thing. I
Speaker 2: would say select abroad, but yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean nobody wants Scandinavian food.
Speaker 2: No, Our fucking British food is so beans on bread,
Speaker 2: suck my dick, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I will say though, I had that English breakfast
Speaker 1: and is kind of good. Man. I'm sorry, man, I'm
Speaker 1: not in.
Speaker 2: Charge of the pad, but you gotta clear clear the
Speaker 2: air a little bit.
Speaker 1: That's ugly. You're disgusting. I'm gonna kill you. Give me
Speaker 1: two hundred dollars.
Speaker 2: And that was the right button to press. I think
Speaker 2: you picked the right one. Yeah, no, I don't. I
Speaker 2: don't eat that ship.
Speaker 1: But have you ever tried it? I have?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was like, nah, I've I like, I like
Speaker 2: regular breakfast.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean listen, I just it was. It surprised
Speaker 1: me as well. Okay, but that being said, yeah, I
Speaker 1: do think for I think they can cook whatever. I
Speaker 1: think there might be a disconnect from food and processing
Speaker 1: and all that. Like they've just been maybe eating microwave
Speaker 1: meals for so long. It's crazy.
Speaker 2: We're calling upon you because we have we have new merch.
Speaker 2: We have very exciting merch that we are now selling
Speaker 2: and it's it's fucking great. We love it so much.
Speaker 1: Just sleek, it's sexy.
Speaker 2: Come on, you want to tell them what we have?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is
Speaker 1: really fun. We have a two tone an alien dad hat,
Speaker 1: the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have
Speaker 1: the enamel pin with an alien who has a coofie
Speaker 1: on it since my Mama told me. And then we
Speaker 1: have t shirts that say proud little Mama, which is
Speaker 1: who you are.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can buy the merch now. Go to Ma
Speaker 2: Mama told me dot merchcentral dot com where you can
Speaker 2: see all of our merch. You can buy shit, and
Speaker 2: we want you to have all the sweet stuff, so
Speaker 2: get it. Let's talk a little bit about where this
Speaker 2: conspiracy came from from me That like, originally what got
Speaker 2: me thinking about it is that I have noticed that
Speaker 2: a fair amount of the things that we associate with
Speaker 2: quality black foods are not necessarily black, and that I
Speaker 2: think that there was probably a transition in the period
Speaker 2: where black people started to get more rights, right that
Speaker 2: the sit ins are over, We're allowed to eat at
Speaker 2: every restaurant, And then suddenly white people are not saying
Speaker 2: that they're having to cook pretty good meals for people
Speaker 2: that they fucking hate. And I think somewhere in that
Speaker 2: they were like, I'm not seasoning shit for these motherfuckers.
Speaker 2: I don't like, I'm not gonna keep putting my best
Speaker 2: foot forward.
Speaker 1: My great grandmother didn't come to Poland, Yeah for me
Speaker 1: to make some mutton for these darkness.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not serving this black motherfucking my my favorite dish.
Speaker 2: Come on, fuck you, I'm a boiled chicken and you'll
Speaker 2: eat it that way or I won't serve it at all.
Speaker 2: And I think that that has somehow sort of blossomed
Speaker 2: into now a cultural sort of like identity where white
Speaker 2: people are like, yeah, we don't, we don't try that
Speaker 2: hard with our food.
Speaker 1: But I mean, here's the thing is that I think
Speaker 1: that the foods that they're met, I think they think
Speaker 1: that stuff is good online at least you.
Speaker 2: Know you yes, yes, I think they think it's But
Speaker 2: I think that that's more the product of a generation
Speaker 2: that doesn't know what like they don't know they was
Speaker 2: kings once type shit. Who do you know what I'm
Speaker 2: saying that like white people, we talked about this biscuits
Speaker 2: and gravy. While it is in my mind of food
Speaker 2: that I associate with black people, it's not really black people.
Speaker 2: It's Southern, you know what I mean. It's like southern
Speaker 2: in the in the universal sense in royal Southern. And
Speaker 2: and it became black people because we just have continued
Speaker 2: to fine tune quality cooking, whereas they were like, I
Speaker 2: don't know, motherfucker, ain't we ain't trying no more?
Speaker 1: Well, do you wonder also if it's this is hard
Speaker 1: because I also wonder how much of it is like regionally,
Speaker 1: Like you know what I mean, I trust everyone in
Speaker 1: no offense. I trust everyone in the South to cook
Speaker 1: better than everyone in the Midwest. That's fair, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Yeah, sure, I think if we're talking
Speaker 1: regions that are bad at cooking, it goes Midwest is
Speaker 1: the worst.
Speaker 2: You think Midwest is the worst at cooking? Whoa, I'm sorry, Chicago.
Speaker 1: Is this certain?
Speaker 2: It's not making me feel better?
Speaker 1: Yes, I mean you guys also have Nebraska, and there's
Speaker 1: a lot of the midw There's a lot in the Midwest.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm listening. Listen, I'm not refuting as much as
Speaker 2: I am reeling from the the aches and pains you're
Speaker 2: throwing my way.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry for sure, I see I think and this
Speaker 1: is also from touring in the standicala. Hey, yeah, food,
Speaker 1: Midwest is the worst. I think the West Coast is next.
Speaker 1: I think then you got the Northeast, then you got
Speaker 1: the South. So South is best, Northeast is second, West
Speaker 1: Coast is third, and what Midwest?
Speaker 2: Where do you Because Northeast is a surprise for me,
Speaker 2: given given what we're racing in terms of like culture,
Speaker 2: why would Northeast fall so high or low depending on
Speaker 2: how you want to scale it on.
Speaker 1: The just the diversity, like, yeah, the Midwest is there's
Speaker 1: not a huge diversity of food like New York City
Speaker 1: or even Philly or you know what I mean, like
Speaker 1: places there's like a lot of different it's.
Speaker 2: More homogeneous groups of people sort of like living in
Speaker 2: small pockets.
Speaker 1: Right right right, right, right right right. So yeah, I
Speaker 1: think it's just diversity wise. That's why goes. And I
Speaker 1: think the West Coast is just like listen, they invented
Speaker 1: health field and it's very good. Yeah, yeah, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean.
Speaker 2: You know, the West Coast I factor in less because
Speaker 2: I think they pride themselves more. We pride ourself. I
Speaker 2: don't know what the fuck on. Yeah, I don't identify
Speaker 2: with this ship. I just live here. But that's true.
Speaker 2: I get that. I think California, and certainly like the
Speaker 2: Coast in general, seems to pride itself more on like
Speaker 2: we know what is right for us.
Speaker 1: Yeah, than you.
Speaker 2: Are certain that this is the best tasting thing. It's
Speaker 2: more like, yeah, but if you eat that, you'll you'll
Speaker 2: live another five years. And if you eat it the
Speaker 2: other way, it's your choice.
Speaker 1: And I mean, don't get me wrong, there's huge inclusions.
Speaker 1: California got the avocado popping.
Speaker 2: That was crazy, That was crazy, that was big, big
Speaker 2: on you it wasn't. Avocado wasn't doing that kind of work.
Speaker 2: When I was a kid, nobody even knew about it.
Speaker 2: I was a little freak for loving guacamole. Freak, I
Speaker 2: tell you you have guacamole. Did have guacamole in Chicago
Speaker 2: in ninety four. We had it, But it wasn't. It
Speaker 2: wasn't popping like that.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no. Avocado had a renaissance.
Speaker 2: Avocado really found itself, Brussels sprouts really found themselves. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: oh yeah, BROCCOLI's and sort of an who is Yeah. No,
Speaker 2: I do think to some extent this does feel regional.
Speaker 2: But I do also think that there is sort of
Speaker 2: a universal white people can't cook that it does get applied,
Speaker 2: whether true or not, whether true or not, gets applied
Speaker 2: sort of across all regions. And I wonder how much
Speaker 2: of that is rooted in them voluntarily choosing to stop
Speaker 2: applying themselves at cooking as a result of us getting
Speaker 2: equal rights.
Speaker 1: You think like once everybody, I mean, it does feel
Speaker 1: like when there's so many options, why would you make
Speaker 1: your British food? Well, it's like equal rights. Now black
Speaker 1: people got restaurants and we're giving them to the Chinese.
Speaker 2: And that's that's actually an interesting interpretation of it too,
Speaker 2: because in some ways they are no longer cooking they
Speaker 2: cultural food. Like if we if so many of the
Speaker 2: people of this country, as they claim, are descendants of
Speaker 2: the original people of this country, they're the fake original
Speaker 2: people of this country.
Speaker 1: I don't know what you're saying. I'm lost.
Speaker 2: I'm saying that if a bunch of people are like
Speaker 2: descendants of the people who came here as like you know,
Speaker 2: the colonists that they were, then you should be putting
Speaker 2: beans on bread and you should be fucking eating little
Speaker 2: thick sausages.
Speaker 1: But you like but you like little caesars, You want
Speaker 1: to you want some taco bell.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you like everybody else's ship, but y'all ship.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah. And maybe that's
Speaker 1: what happened. It was like because it's like, I know
Speaker 1: a lot of white women who claim to make great enchiladas. Mmm,
Speaker 1: that's a big one. They love m and you don't
Speaker 1: believe them. No, I don't even like enchiladas.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not as big of a fan as I
Speaker 2: always think I could.
Speaker 1: No, it's just wet and bad, Like I love wet food.
Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong.
Speaker 2: I'm a big fan of wet food on a lot
Speaker 2: of things.
Speaker 1: I have a girlfriend, she's great.
Speaker 8: I got a wife, she's fine, lovely.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just I also think that because here's the
Speaker 1: other here's the other thing about white people's cooking. They
Speaker 1: do dare. It is daring. It's just not in a
Speaker 1: good way. Like have you ever had that? Girls tell
Speaker 1: me about this like sweet rice salad thing that they
Speaker 1: do sweet rice salad. It's like sweet rice and then
Speaker 1: like almonds and it's dumb.
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I've never had that. Yeah, I'm gonna I'm
Speaker 2: gonna take a firm no.
Speaker 1: On that one. It's like but it's like big swings,
Speaker 1: it's just done well. And I think sometimes there's like
Speaker 1: a lack of attention to detail. Like a lot of
Speaker 1: times when I watch like these like White Lady tiktoks
Speaker 1: or something, it's like there's like a lack of the
Speaker 1: base knowledge of cooking and that's why it's just bad
Speaker 1: where it's just like heat the pana well, you know,
Speaker 1: like whatever.
Speaker 2: Well, let me ask you this because this is actually
Speaker 2: a pretty curious question for me. Where do you fall
Speaker 2: when it comes to sort of like the Michelin Star.
Speaker 2: The restaurants that are treated with like sort of like revered,
Speaker 2: these places that are you're being told of the best
Speaker 2: food in the world, and it's obviously a white person
Speaker 2: number one rating them, but number two oftentimes making these dishes.
Speaker 2: Do you do you hold them in high regard or
Speaker 2: you like, no, I don't give a fuck about none
Speaker 2: of that.
Speaker 1: I'm open to it because I think I think that
Speaker 1: some of them are very good. Right. I had some
Speaker 1: food in a yurt the other day. Okay, we went
Speaker 1: to a yurt and it was fire, and it was like,
Speaker 1: it's like this restaurant that they said supposedly was like
Speaker 1: up for a Michelin Star, but it's not quite in Denver,
Speaker 1: so they didn't. It's like sort of an Aurora we
Speaker 1: went to this year. It was really good food. Right.
Speaker 1: But I also was in the Bahamas, and I need
Speaker 1: to I need to quit cutting and looking the camera.
Speaker 2: That's a weird That's okay, Yeah, I think so, but
Speaker 2: maybe not as much as you.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's like different. I'm like not at home,
Speaker 1: I have shoes on. This is a little different.
Speaker 2: It's okay to serve it to camera. We're here there, here,
Speaker 2: let's see come on.
Speaker 1: But then like a week later, I was in the
Speaker 1: Bahamas and I had food from a smoke shack on
Speaker 1: the side of a beach and it was equally as
Speaker 1: good to me. Yeah, So it's like I give space
Speaker 1: for the higher brow, the Michelin star stuff, but I don't.
Speaker 1: That's not solely where I'm going to fight, because sometimes
Speaker 1: it's like sometimes in food, like in fancy restaurants, I
Speaker 1: feel like it's complicated more than it's good. It's like, oh,
Speaker 1: they had to do thirty things to cook that, but
Speaker 1: it didn't come together as good as like that case
Speaker 1: ada I had across town.
Speaker 2: I also, and this is where I think I stand
Speaker 2: firmist as it relates to food, is I don't care
Speaker 2: how good the meal is if I don't feel satisfied afterwards.
Speaker 2: That like part of what a good meal to me
Speaker 2: is is you filled my tummy all the way to
Speaker 2: the brim. But a lot of times you go to
Speaker 2: these fancy restaurants and shit and like it. Yes, it
Speaker 2: was a great tasting item that you offered me, but
Speaker 2: I'm still hungry, So I don't like you no more.
Speaker 1: That's fair, you know what I mean. Yeah, you're angry guy.
Speaker 2: You fucking you're giving me blue balls of the tomptungue. No,
Speaker 2: I don't like that angry angry hippos. Yeah exactly, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I get that.
Speaker 1: I mean, and there is something to be said for
Speaker 1: just a big like bull of Stewards.
Speaker 2: Come on, dog, you go to some of these restaurants
Speaker 2: and and look, I get it. The Midwest don't do
Speaker 2: a lot great, but we we serve you the portions
Speaker 2: you serve.
Speaker 1: That's fair. You will get full as you walking away.
Speaker 2: That's a good point, which you tell me growling at
Speaker 2: the local eatery in the Midwest. And I do like
Speaker 2: Midwestern food. I love a beef dip it, flip it,
Speaker 2: Come on, man, crack it up, it down. No, yeah,
Speaker 2: I just like I think it's unfair when you know
Speaker 2: you you pay money and are expecting a quality meal
Speaker 2: and you have what is a delightful tasting experience and
Speaker 2: not a filling experience. And I would argue that if
Speaker 2: you cannot fill me up, then you can't cook that good.
Speaker 1: God damn.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm taking big swings.
Speaker 1: Baby, well, I think. But also there is a level
Speaker 1: of what I okay, I will say this when I
Speaker 1: go to one of those fancy restaurants with a richer
Speaker 1: person who doesn't mind buying enough to get us full. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a good time. I mean we're going to lunch
Speaker 1: after this. Yeah. I believe it's on big money players.
Speaker 2: That's what they said. But but well, we'll confirm when
Speaker 2: the episode's over.
Speaker 1: Let's just say I'm getting three apps. I'm gonna need
Speaker 1: the octopus, Olivia, I don't know why Steep. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna try the pheasant. Yeah, what is this? Arisata? Is
Speaker 1: that a girl? Resuta? That's cool as a result for girls.
Speaker 2: We're calling upon you because we have we have new merch.
Speaker 2: We have very exciting merch that we are now selling
Speaker 2: and it's fucking great. We love it so much.
Speaker 1: Just sleek, it's sexy.
Speaker 2: Come on, you want to tell them what we have?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is
Speaker 1: really fun. We have a two tone hat, an alien
Speaker 1: dad hat, the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then
Speaker 1: we have the enamel pin with an alien who has
Speaker 1: a coofie on it since my mama told me. And
Speaker 1: then we have t shirts that say proud little Mama,
Speaker 1: which is who you are.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can buy the merch.
Speaker 1: Now go to ma.
Speaker 2: Mama told me dot merchcentral dot com, where you can
Speaker 2: see all of our merch. You can buy shit, and
Speaker 2: we want you to have all the sweet stuff, so
Speaker 2: get it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think you're probably right that it's more about being
Speaker 2: able to order more of it. Yeah, but I also
Speaker 2: think that, like, and I'm truly speaking for myself, I'm
Speaker 2: not a great cook. I know that about myself.
Speaker 1: Really. Yeah, but do you okay, yeah, go ahead, because
Speaker 1: if I put my mind to it, I can be
Speaker 1: very good.
Speaker 2: That's my problem what you're saying, Like, I'm not. I
Speaker 2: won't try, right, right, but if I try, I whatever,
Speaker 2: I actually put some elbow in, it's good.
Speaker 1: I won't.
Speaker 2: I'm not making ship by any means. But I just
Speaker 2: don't have the energy that the internal yearning to like
Speaker 2: work for an hour on a thing that I then
Speaker 2: eat in ten minutes, right, I understand, Like it's I
Speaker 2: can't process it.
Speaker 1: Do you make like a lot?
Speaker 2: Well, you have a family, though, I got a nice
Speaker 2: lady who does it for me like I do all the.
Speaker 1: Yeah, my wife. Oh okay, yeah, I don't have like a.
Speaker 2: Do you really think I'm I'm rolling in the dough
Speaker 2: like that.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't have a I know that in
Speaker 1: my head I've seen I don't know why I think
Speaker 1: you're rich, are you not?
Speaker 2: I don't think so, you do it? I'm doing fine. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: we have a two income house. All we do pretty well.
Speaker 2: But but a lady who like truly cooks for you,
Speaker 2: a chef, is that's a different That's a step above.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. I think a lot of money yeah cool,
Speaker 1: not like a lot like a black people a lot
Speaker 1: of money.
Speaker 2: Cool, big man. But I say all that to say
Speaker 2: I know that if I were making a small portion
Speaker 2: of something, I could make it very well.
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean that?
Speaker 2: Like, it's the increasing of the quantity that makes it
Speaker 2: more complicated, which is why catering is so fucking tough.
Speaker 2: It's why like when you go to fucking college campuses
Speaker 2: and you're eating like those at the trays and trays
Speaker 2: of food that they put out for the buffets, while
Speaker 2: the eggs are ass and the grits are running and
Speaker 2: all the ship corral, it's ass because it's not becau
Speaker 2: as the dude in the back doesn't know how to
Speaker 2: make good food. It's because he has to make the
Speaker 2: most food, and that's really really hard being said.
Speaker 1: I just went to a Golden Crow, but a month ago.
Speaker 2: It was hidden still hidding, okay, yeah no, So you
Speaker 2: know they're still an alcohol in there at Golden Corral,
Speaker 2: which is crazy. I didn't know they could do that.
Speaker 1: They're selling alcohol in the Golden Corral.
Speaker 2: I'll be honest. I'm I was a old Country buffet
Speaker 2: boy right as growing up. That was our signature restaurant.
Speaker 2: I think it's probably regional. It's a Midwest It's it's
Speaker 2: called different things. Some places it's called hometown buffet. Yeah,
Speaker 2: some places called country buffet, old country. But I think
Speaker 2: it's all the same. I think their cousins, the checkers rally, yeah.
Speaker 1: Come and go. What's the other one? The rest Tom thumb,
Speaker 1: it's all the same.
Speaker 2: Point being I remember my relationship to all of that
Speaker 2: food is so childlike that like I remember them like
Speaker 2: hot ass cinema buns they used to have in there,
Speaker 2: and I to love those and that was enough reason
Speaker 2: to like that place.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I never knew if they served off alcohol. I
Speaker 2: just persued they couldn't because I was a kid.
Speaker 1: I don't think they did, because it's like I was
Speaker 1: thinking about it. It's a bad call.
Speaker 2: You don't give liquor to those kinds of people.
Speaker 1: There's not one place I would rather be drunk less
Speaker 1: than a buffet. Bro, Like, so.
Speaker 2: Sad, Bro, you just gave you just gave him sick shrimp.
Speaker 2: Who can't wash that down with tequila?
Speaker 1: Oh god, oh tequila? And the buffet? That fucking crazy.
Speaker 1: And I just like I think that that could turn
Speaker 1: dark so fast.
Speaker 2: This ham has been under this light for for hours.
Speaker 1: Yeah, cause, like you almost need to be sober at
Speaker 1: a buffet to show some restraint. You gotta now you're drunken,
Speaker 1: are come on? Come on, I'm dipping my I'm dipping
Speaker 1: my shrimp, been fucking soft served.
Speaker 2: Come on, you're putting salad dressing on your Chinese. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's hey, man, you're being crazy.
Speaker 1: It's fucked. I feel the same way. I feel. I'm
Speaker 1: the opposite of integration when it comes to like like cuisines.
Speaker 1: Yeah you got it.
Speaker 2: I feel like the buffet has to be where prohibition
Speaker 2: sort of maintains.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not good. You can't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't get drunk at Golden Corral. You should
Speaker 2: not do that if you are a person who still
Speaker 2: frequents Golden Kerral. That's okay, no judgment. We are judgment
Speaker 2: free podcasts. That's not true.
Speaker 1: But Sin's judging you pretty hard.
Speaker 2: Judging you pretty hard. But that said more importantly, if
Speaker 2: you are going to the Golden Corral, stay sober, baby.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't want it. It's just not for you.
Speaker 2: That's that's not a low you need to sink too.
Speaker 1: You're better than that. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So you think it sounds like that this conspiracy
Speaker 2: of white people atrophying is less about a conscious choice
Speaker 2: on their part and more just sort of what would
Speaker 2: you say? The cause is?
Speaker 1: I think the market got flooded with superior product, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that they were always making these weird freedo pies
Speaker 2: and now we just know better.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and now the internet you can learn how to
Speaker 1: make anything. Like they're not, you know, they're just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: let me everybody can make curry.
Speaker 2: Now everybody can't make curry.
Speaker 1: My alms making curry back in ninety five. Whoa, that
Speaker 1: was back when curry was illegal.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they stop you at the airport, curry.
Speaker 1: You getting pulled over, miss man. First person I ever
Speaker 1: saw with coconut milk. Whoa, that's crazy. Yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: get it.
Speaker 2: I didn't know that coconuts could be milked. No, no, no,
Speaker 2: you milk meat.
Speaker 1: Greg. I don't know where.
Speaker 2: It was due to a feces thrown all over the walls,
Speaker 2: the floor, the ceiling, and.
Speaker 8: That's just a good Yeah, you had to clean clean
Speaker 8: house a little bit anyway.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it sounds like you're you're of the belief
Speaker 2: that this is more about like the a superior product. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I will say that that when we were talking about
Speaker 2: this out there, the idea was presented that some of
Speaker 2: this has to do with white people's laziness. That was said, yeah,
Speaker 2: and and let's be cautious. Let's be careful. Let's make
Speaker 2: sure that our white listeners don't feel offended by the
Speaker 2: things that we're saying.
Speaker 1: I don't know if we'll go that far.
Speaker 2: We want to hurt you, but we don't want to
Speaker 2: hurt you with our setups. We want to hurt you
Speaker 2: with our punch.
Speaker 1: We want to push you far enough way that you'll
Speaker 1: still give your money to support.
Speaker 2: Us, you know, like an abusive relationship. We love you,
Speaker 2: and we'll never do it again.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's sometimes Oh no.
Speaker 2: That's that if you are being abused called yea.
Speaker 1: Unless you're a white person being abused by us, then
Speaker 1: stay right here, give me money. But no.
Speaker 2: It was presented that that perhaps the cause of white
Speaker 2: people atrophying as as chefs and cooks in general is
Speaker 2: the result of them just being lazy, That they have
Speaker 2: accepted a position of of sort of like being served
Speaker 2: in society, and that they are unwilling to adjust that
Speaker 2: thinking even as they continue to make bullshit out.
Speaker 1: In the world. I think that's a little too simple.
Speaker 1: I think that that maybe that idea is kind of
Speaker 1: based more in white supremacy than I wanted to be. Mmm,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like we're on top, so
Speaker 1: we just didn't we just stopped trying. It's like, I
Speaker 1: think it's one. I think there's more going on than.
Speaker 2: That, right that, Like it suggests a possibility that like
Speaker 2: they are in fact kings and Queen's yeah.
Speaker 1: As opposed to maybe they're just people who are fucking
Speaker 1: up right, you know what I'm saying, Like the lazy
Speaker 1: thing kind of is like yep, we we got on
Speaker 1: top and now we're lazy and we just say, you
Speaker 1: know what, I mean as supposed to, so that there's
Speaker 1: not a problem with them. They don't have to answer
Speaker 1: for that, you know what I mean. That's fair.
Speaker 2: We have seen, certainly historically enough examples of both the
Speaker 2: rich and the poor being bad at cooking, right, do
Speaker 2: you know what I mean? In a different way, Yeah,
Speaker 2: in very different ways. So it does. It does make
Speaker 2: sense that, you know what I mean, and that's true
Speaker 2: of all races. I would say, yeah, that like sometimes
Speaker 2: there is a dangerous propaganda of like black people can cook,
Speaker 2: white people can't, and that's not true. I know a
Speaker 2: lot of black motherfuckers that can't cook.
Speaker 1: For shit. Well you said it.
Speaker 2: I just think on average people, I enjoy black people's
Speaker 2: food a lot more than I enjoy white people's food. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you're struggling.
Speaker 1: You know. I'm just trying to think about because I
Speaker 1: have definitely known to the white people who can really
Speaker 1: cook throw down. But I think, yeah, we're talking about
Speaker 1: just like on the whole the numbers. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: which I wonder. Yeah, that is interesting because it is
Speaker 1: crazy to me when you meet like a whole family
Speaker 1: who can't cook. You ever go over to like those
Speaker 1: kids house when you were a kid, you're like, is
Speaker 1: what your Yeah, you just you gotta look like he
Speaker 1: just yeah, I'll be honest.
Speaker 2: I mean it's I mean it genuinely.
Speaker 1: My father.
Speaker 2: One of my favorite dishes that he used to make
Speaker 2: when I was a kid was something called tomato chicken,
Speaker 2: and it was.
Speaker 1: Just it was just.
Speaker 2: It was just a fucking like a weird like uh
Speaker 2: chicken breast in a skillet with like tomato like out
Speaker 2: of the can, and it was just like mix it
Speaker 2: up and lightly seems it and I'll be like, just
Speaker 2: fucking yeah, it is the best. And in retrospect it
Speaker 2: wasn't good.
Speaker 1: You just like chicken. I like chicken.
Speaker 2: I like tomatoes. I was like, these are two things
Speaker 2: I care for. That's a singless meals.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was well, we're having tomato chicken tonight, tomato chicken.
Speaker 1: And it's almost like you were there. You truly I
Speaker 1: should our voices perfectly. Yeah, I figured, how about your dad?
Speaker 1: You realize God, Yeah, he.
Speaker 2: Was making this ship tomato chicken, and I loved it.
Speaker 2: I don't think it was good. It's got this weird
Speaker 2: little boy. He loves poetry. He doesn't know what the
Speaker 2: females like. I got to make a meal fast. Yeah,
Speaker 2: there's got to be some vegetables in it, apparently tomatoes
Speaker 2: onion chicken.
Speaker 1: Yeah, tomato chicken, tomato chicken.
Speaker 2: And I thought it was the fucking best, And now
Speaker 2: in retrospective, wasn't the best?
Speaker 1: Still make tomato chicken? I that he does. We don't.
Speaker 2: We don't have meals at at his house anymore when
Speaker 2: you going back, Yeah, no, we don't. I've never asked
Speaker 2: him to cook for me ever again, and I don't
Speaker 2: think he's never been, like, you know, I've been working
Speaker 2: on the tomato chicken. I got a new recipe, right,
Speaker 2: So yeah, it's just I think we're all in agreement
Speaker 2: that like that, that was the act of a of
Speaker 2: a man just trying to keep it together for for
Speaker 2: a boy.
Speaker 1: Hey, but you know what, tomato cha, you wouldn't be
Speaker 1: who you are now without me.
Speaker 2: I think the tomato chicken really helped shake me into
Speaker 2: a stronger individual. And and I think maybe if we're
Speaker 2: bringing this full circle, maybe that's what white people would
Speaker 2: benefit from. It's a little bit of full acknowledgement that, like,
Speaker 2: you have been eating tomato chicken this whole time, you
Speaker 2: guys are that good. It's never been that good. Stop
Speaker 2: giving yourself stars for fucking award winning meals just because
Speaker 2: one dude.
Speaker 1: But that's what I would argue. I bet there's a
Speaker 1: lot less in Africa in South America.
Speaker 2: Dog, That's what I'm saying. Who is Michelan and who's
Speaker 2: given out this? You know what I mean, A big old,
Speaker 2: a big old fluffy white man is giving out those
Speaker 2: those awards. Who decides the fact that.
Speaker 1: He's made out of tires on top of him coming
Speaker 1: to this French restaurant. Yeah, and he's like, he's pretty good.
Speaker 1: You know what, you get a star. I don't think so.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I've never studied them at all. But the point is
Speaker 2: I think we would benefit. French food is for poor people,
Speaker 2: but now they act like it's fancy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's all just like butter and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just they put a butch of butter and
Speaker 2: then they pour the butter on top of the thing
Speaker 2: they're cooking until it's I.
Speaker 1: Mean, that's how it's.
Speaker 2: French food is fucking great.
Speaker 1: We should make them get steaks after this.
Speaker 2: Come on, man, we having steaks y'all.
Speaker 1: Hey, Will Ferrell.
Speaker 2: Will Dirty Dog Pharaoh Willie. Yeah, I just say, white
Speaker 2: people would benefit from being more honest about their relationship
Speaker 2: with their own food, and then subsequently, maybe we can
Speaker 2: become they can learn to become better cooks, They can
Speaker 2: learn to actually embrace the cultures around them by first
Speaker 2: acknowledging like, hey, we've been putting up ship numbers.
Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah, yeah, your mom's castle is kind of bad.
Speaker 2: It's not freedom pie ain't a thing. Yeah yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's wipe your lips, you know. Yeah, there you go
Speaker 2: like that. Well, it was very recently that it happened
Speaker 2: because I the fucking ba.
Speaker 1: I was just.
Speaker 2: I don't want you to look like a fool.
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. It's just I had some nuts and
Speaker 1: then I was like I need more food than and
Speaker 1: then you had made that nut joke, which made me
Speaker 1: kind of like hesitant to eat more nuts.
Speaker 2: And well, I only made the joke because you screamed
Speaker 2: out loud scream I love nuts.
Speaker 1: I do love nuts, and you shouldn't feel bad about that.
Speaker 1: It's very healthy.
Speaker 2: Now we listen, I am a product of my own community.
Speaker 1: He's a tomato chicken man.
Speaker 2: I'm a tomato chicken man through and through. I don't
Speaker 2: know how long we've been doing.
Speaker 1: This feels like hours. I feel like we did it.
Speaker 1: I think it was good.
Speaker 2: I think we nailed this perfectly. Yeah, no notes whatsoever.
Speaker 1: Ten out of ten.
Speaker 2: You want to tell the people where they can find
Speaker 2: you and what cool shit you have going on?
Speaker 1: Cool Guy Joke City seven on Instagram. That's where everything's
Speaker 1: gonna be at. Oh, when this comes out, you should
Speaker 1: watch Royal Crackers on Adult Swim and then HBO Max
Speaker 1: the next day. Hell yeah, yeah that's Max Max. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's just Max.
Speaker 2: It's just Max now Mad Max, Mad Max TV.
Speaker 1: What about you?
Speaker 2: You can find me at Langston Kerrman on all social
Speaker 2: media platforms. And if this comes out before February nineteenth,
Speaker 2: I would love for you to be at my special
Speaker 2: taping in Chicago at the Green Mill. The tickets are
Speaker 2: available online. And yeah, I'm gonna be telling jokes for
Speaker 2: an hour and it's gonna be really fun. And I
Speaker 2: hope you guys pack it out and make it a
Speaker 2: great time. And as always, if you want to send
Speaker 2: us your own drops, your own conspiracies, if you want
Speaker 2: to send us a recipe of your mother's famous bullshit
Speaker 2: white food that you think in fact is worth celebrating.
Speaker 2: Send it all to my mamapod at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: We would love to hear from you. That's the whole shebang.
Speaker 1: Bye, bitch.
Speaker 2: I'd rather check myself before I wrecked myself.
Speaker 1: The government, my crow chips in your Kuala bears are racist.
Speaker 4: The Hostal layer, Hostal money, Turkey stuff.
Speaker 1: I can't tell me