WEBVTT - Never Have I Ever 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:05.480 Hell I Suck a Dating with Jared Haven. I heart 0:00:05.559 --> 0:00:12.840 radio podcast What's Up, Sucky Daters? Welcome to an all 0:00:12.880 --> 0:00:16.400 new episode of Help I Suck at Dating. As always, 0:00:16.440 --> 0:00:20.720 it's your host Dean Unglert, joined via zoom with Jared Haven. 0:00:20.760 --> 0:00:24.640 All the way from the East Coast, Baby, Connecticut? Am 0:00:24.640 --> 0:00:30.040 I right? Or on way off Virginia? More way off? 0:00:30.280 --> 0:00:32.400 I was trying to plan a Connecticut or no Vermont 0:00:32.440 --> 0:00:34.720 trip for the autumn, So maybe that's where I was. 0:00:34.920 --> 0:00:37.640 All those all those Eastern states blend together, and they 0:00:37.680 --> 0:00:40.280 all blend together. It is crazy to think that California 0:00:40.320 --> 0:00:42.279 takes up the entire West coast, and then you think 0:00:42.280 --> 0:00:44.560 of the East coast. From the size of California, there's 0:00:44.600 --> 0:00:48.120 got to be I don't know that's a good point. 0:00:48.159 --> 0:00:51.760 I guess there's only four states that bordered the western 0:00:52.560 --> 0:00:55.480 western facing states that bordered the Pacific, and there's probably 0:00:55.520 --> 0:00:57.440 like twenty on the East coast that border the Atlantic. 0:00:57.840 --> 0:01:01.120 It's crazy, man, you know. Crazy, That's what we are. 0:01:01.200 --> 0:01:06.560 We are. We are a geography class podcast. That's what 0:01:06.560 --> 0:01:09.280 we're turning into right now because you know, datings on 0:01:09.360 --> 0:01:13.400 halt during COVID. I'm glad we can agree on the 0:01:13.440 --> 0:01:16.319 scale of crazy that that really truly is. And then 0:01:16.840 --> 0:01:18.839 and then it doesn't stop there. But then you also 0:01:18.840 --> 0:01:22.640 have the Gulf States like Texas, Alabama, Louisiana, those kinds 0:01:22.680 --> 0:01:25.400 of art in the Atlantic Ocean too, because the Gulf 0:01:25.400 --> 0:01:28.160 of Mexico is at the Atlantic. I don't know who knows. Anyways, 0:01:28.280 --> 0:01:29.959 we got a great episode for you guys this week. 0:01:30.680 --> 0:01:35.120 We have Matt and Leah. You probably know them more 0:01:35.200 --> 0:01:39.000 formally by their wrestling names, which they're from the w 0:01:39.240 --> 0:01:42.840 w E. It's Matt Polinsky and Lea Van Dale. And 0:01:42.880 --> 0:01:46.840 then Lee is on Total Diva's Ever Watch that. I 0:01:46.880 --> 0:01:49.160 do not watch that show. I'm not big in the 0:01:49.280 --> 0:01:52.000 w w E either, but they do seem like a 0:01:52.000 --> 0:01:53.920 pretty cute couple. I was going to introduce them by 0:01:53.960 --> 0:01:56.920 their wrestling names, but I think that they because of 0:01:56.960 --> 0:01:59.160 their new podcast that they're releasing one and more affectionately 0:01:59.240 --> 0:02:01.240 go by Leah and Matt. So we're gonna get to 0:02:01.280 --> 0:02:03.600 them in a little bit. Um, we are going to 0:02:03.720 --> 0:02:06.360 play a game later on. Tory loves her games, so 0:02:06.400 --> 0:02:08.560 we're gonna jump in one of those later on as well. 0:02:09.360 --> 0:02:11.680 But in the meantime, Jared, oh no, this is focused 0:02:11.680 --> 0:02:12.840 on you. It's a big week for you. This is 0:02:12.880 --> 0:02:16.200 Caitlin's birthday week, it is Calin's birthday is coming up, 0:02:16.280 --> 0:02:20.600 and the pressure is on. I feel the pressure, especially 0:02:20.600 --> 0:02:22.480 because she knocked it out of the park so well 0:02:22.600 --> 0:02:27.640 with my birthday a couple of months ago. What what 0:02:27.680 --> 0:02:33.360 did she do again, you asked, That is what I asked, Yes, she, 0:02:33.600 --> 0:02:35.400 I mean it was a quarantine birthday, so it's like 0:02:35.440 --> 0:02:37.160 what can you do? But she made the most of it. 0:02:37.240 --> 0:02:40.079 She like made me breakfast in bed with the whole menu. 0:02:40.320 --> 0:02:43.600 She got some like some lunch brought in from my 0:02:43.639 --> 0:02:46.440 favorite restaurants. She got me all the gifts that I wanted. 0:02:46.440 --> 0:02:48.680 She set up a little movie theater in our other 0:02:48.760 --> 0:02:53.320 bedroom for us to watch my favorite movie, Oh, Interstellar, 0:02:53.440 --> 0:02:55.239 that's right. One of the things she did that was 0:02:55.280 --> 0:02:58.040 the cutest thing ever was the Picnic Collective, which now 0:02:58.040 --> 0:03:00.280 I'm like a huge fan of them, where they make 0:03:00.320 --> 0:03:03.520 these pre made picnics and they like drop it up, 0:03:03.840 --> 0:03:05.600 drop it off at your place, or they can set 0:03:05.600 --> 0:03:08.359 it up at the beach for you. I did that 0:03:08.440 --> 0:03:11.480 was actually I did that with actually in Hawaii. It 0:03:11.560 --> 0:03:13.880 was our like it was our first like vacation after 0:03:14.040 --> 0:03:16.680 we came out as a couple. It is the cutest 0:03:16.720 --> 0:03:19.639 thing ever. Everybody, this is the perfect date at night, 0:03:19.800 --> 0:03:24.320 date day idea. Ever, it was a great date idea. Uh. 0:03:24.360 --> 0:03:27.200 In addition to that, this is where the one hiccup 0:03:27.280 --> 0:03:29.200 that she had she overdid it a little much. She 0:03:29.240 --> 0:03:31.880 did the Picnic Collective, which was fantastic. They give you 0:03:31.919 --> 0:03:34.480 fruits and cheeses and crackers and you could just munch. 0:03:35.160 --> 0:03:37.760 I think they were champagne too. But she also ordered 0:03:37.800 --> 0:03:40.760 some Domino's pizza, which I love Domino's pizza. But it 0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:42.400 was just a lot of cheese and a lot of 0:03:42.440 --> 0:03:44.440 bread and we were only able to eat so much 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:47.280 of it because there was there's a little too much food, 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:49.600 which how can I'm not complaining, I'm just saying the 0:03:49.840 --> 0:03:53.160 picnic the Picnic Collective provides a lot of food. Dominoes 0:03:53.160 --> 0:03:55.280 obviously is a lot of food in itself. So so anyways, pointed, 0:03:55.320 --> 0:03:56.960 she knocked it out of the park. So now the 0:03:56.960 --> 0:03:59.920 pressure is on me to do the same. The chat 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:03.120 leunge here is well, it's kind of like a pros 0:04:03.160 --> 0:04:05.560 and con. So the pro is I got to see 0:04:05.680 --> 0:04:08.040 exactly how big she went from my birthday, so I 0:04:08.080 --> 0:04:11.080 can replicate that rather than going in blind and not 0:04:11.200 --> 0:04:16.080 knowing how big to go. Uh. The con here is 0:04:16.120 --> 0:04:18.839 that our one year anniversary is a couple of days 0:04:18.960 --> 0:04:22.920 after her birthday. So it's like, if your birthday is 0:04:22.960 --> 0:04:26.239 on December and your parents got you a joint Christmas 0:04:26.279 --> 0:04:28.400 and birthday gift, you are upsets. So do I get 0:04:28.440 --> 0:04:31.599 her a joint birthday and anniversary gift? Or do I 0:04:31.800 --> 0:04:35.160 do two distinct different things. Didn't you just answer your 0:04:35.160 --> 0:04:38.320 own question? Listen, Yes, from the from the perspective of 0:04:38.320 --> 0:04:40.680 the parents, it makes sense to do one gift. But 0:04:40.720 --> 0:04:43.919 from the perspective of the children receiving the gifts, obviously 0:04:43.920 --> 0:04:46.080 you're gonna want to gifts. And she she made a 0:04:46.120 --> 0:04:49.640 comment about getting me an anniversary president, and I was like, 0:04:49.720 --> 0:04:52.680 oh wait, you're gonna get me an anniversary president. Why, like, boy, 0:04:52.720 --> 0:04:54.159 would you do that? And she goes, I don't know, 0:04:54.160 --> 0:04:56.320 I just want to. And so that kind of adds 0:04:56.360 --> 0:05:00.520 the pressure to separate and do a birth the gift 0:05:00.760 --> 0:05:04.200 and a anniversary gift. So we're gonna see what happens. 0:05:04.200 --> 0:05:06.640 I've got some stuff picked out, I I know some 0:05:06.680 --> 0:05:08.760 things that she wants. I've got some funny gifts and 0:05:08.839 --> 0:05:13.039 some more meaningful gifts and some more practical gifts. But 0:05:13.040 --> 0:05:15.239 but yeah, man, I've never really been the best with birthdays. 0:05:15.240 --> 0:05:17.359 I'm more into like the spontaneous gift giving. This is 0:05:17.360 --> 0:05:20.760 a good conversation topic though, because it's you guys have 0:05:20.839 --> 0:05:23.680 been dating for a year now, Like, what is the 0:05:23.800 --> 0:05:26.600 level of gifts that you give? Like have you celebrated 0:05:26.640 --> 0:05:28.760 month to month or you guys going for your big 0:05:28.800 --> 0:05:32.320 bang for a year? Do you do just flowers? Is 0:05:32.320 --> 0:05:34.880 a more thoughtful like I wonder what the history is 0:05:34.880 --> 0:05:37.479 that you're supposed to take with anniversary gifts. I think 0:05:37.520 --> 0:05:41.880 the one year anniversary gift is the engagement ring gift, right, 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:44.640 I'm right on the story, right, is it is that 0:05:44.640 --> 0:05:47.120 what you got actually after you guys one year? No, 0:05:47.279 --> 0:05:51.359 I waited like three months, that's true, I guess, But 0:05:51.440 --> 0:05:55.400 that's technically four years of relationships. You know, you guys 0:05:55.400 --> 0:05:58.440 were you guys were friends for four years earlier. So 0:05:58.600 --> 0:06:01.679 the first year together it is something that is paper, 0:06:02.279 --> 0:06:08.520 Second year is cotton, third years leather, fourth year flute, flute, fruit, flowers, 0:06:08.600 --> 0:06:10.839 linen or silk, And there's this whole thing that goes on. 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:13.039 So why don't you just start your tradition now with 0:06:13.080 --> 0:06:15.839 something that has to do with paper. Yeah, I guess 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:18.640 I could get like like a hundred dollar bill or 0:06:18.680 --> 0:06:24.520 something like that. Here's a hundred dollars, spend it. Um, Yeah, 0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:26.040 I think that's kind of more. It doesn't that kind 0:06:26.040 --> 0:06:29.640 of more relate to marriage and stuff. So one year dating. 0:06:30.000 --> 0:06:32.400 When we first started dating, we would, uh, well she 0:06:32.600 --> 0:06:35.320 I guess would be like, hey, it's there one month anniversary. Hey, 0:06:35.320 --> 0:06:38.080 it's our two month anniversary. Hey. But then after about 0:06:38.080 --> 0:06:40.280 like a month four, we kind of stopped caring so much. 0:06:40.279 --> 0:06:43.520 So yeah, the one year, um, it's kind of bigger. 0:06:43.560 --> 0:06:46.400 Her grandparents live out in near Las Vegas, so we're 0:06:46.400 --> 0:06:48.320 going to drive out there for her birthday and spend 0:06:48.320 --> 0:06:51.359 a couple of days out there, just like with her family. 0:06:52.520 --> 0:06:55.279 But other than that, I mean, there's nothing crazy planned. 0:06:55.320 --> 0:06:58.800 I wanted to. This is my plan before COVID struck, 0:06:58.960 --> 0:07:05.080 was to on her birthday give her plane tickets, preferably 0:07:05.160 --> 0:07:08.000 to like the Maldives and then on and the plane 0:07:08.000 --> 0:07:12.400 tickets would depart on the anniversary, so you know, she 0:07:12.440 --> 0:07:14.840 gets the gift on the birthday and then we celebrate 0:07:14.880 --> 0:07:16.640 on the anniversary and we go to this place that 0:07:16.640 --> 0:07:18.680 she's wanted to go. Obviously, I can do that against 0:07:18.680 --> 0:07:20.800 some other time, and I think I'll do it next year. 0:07:21.200 --> 0:07:23.480 Hopefully she's not listening to this or we'll not listen 0:07:23.520 --> 0:07:28.000 to this, but but yeah, I don't know. Uh. Do 0:07:28.040 --> 0:07:30.480 you guys think that if you underperform on a birthday 0:07:30.560 --> 0:07:33.520 or anniversary it's a it's a red flag or a 0:07:33.520 --> 0:07:37.680 bad sign or something to argue about. What's your experience 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:42.440 with with underperforming? Yeah, you get yelled at if you underperform. 0:07:42.520 --> 0:07:46.200 I think as long as you put thought into the gift. 0:07:46.280 --> 0:07:47.760 Like a lot of the gifts that I get Ashley, 0:07:48.240 --> 0:07:52.480 they're they're not materialistic things. Their letters or like I 0:07:52.520 --> 0:07:56.720 give her like coupons, it's like two free back massages 0:07:57.560 --> 0:08:01.800 or you know, one makeout sesh. You know, find like 0:08:01.840 --> 0:08:03.680 stuff like that, you know that, trying to keep it 0:08:03.720 --> 0:08:05.760 fun and light. That's kind of like my go to 0:08:05.920 --> 0:08:09.400 for gifts. Hey, Jared, I'm gonna cash in on my 0:08:09.560 --> 0:08:12.760 makeout sesh, right, that's it. She hasn't cashed in on 0:08:12.800 --> 0:08:14.760 it yet. It just happens, you know. I think that's 0:08:14.760 --> 0:08:16.280 a good thing, though she hasn't had. I hope you 0:08:16.360 --> 0:08:22.680 brought your chapstick because I'm about to suck those lips dry. Interesting, Interesting, 0:08:23.640 --> 0:08:28.720 your lips dry? Haven't heard Tori as a female? What 0:08:28.800 --> 0:08:31.360 gift would you want? Well, I would say it stems 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:33.560 from and I know you guys are probably eye roll, 0:08:33.679 --> 0:08:37.280 but what their love languages. And for me, like I 0:08:37.320 --> 0:08:41.120 am someone who appreciates gifts, but not like materialistic in 0:08:41.120 --> 0:08:43.320 the sense of like get me diamonds, although you know 0:08:43.400 --> 0:08:46.960 we all love that. I'm more of like I appreciate 0:08:46.960 --> 0:08:50.079 when you know somebody's put attention and thought into it. 0:08:50.800 --> 0:08:53.160 So as long as that's happening, I think that nobody 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:56.920 can really be disappointed. But if you're like just showing up, 0:08:56.920 --> 0:08:59.000 being like, well I just looped it together, and then 0:08:59.040 --> 0:09:01.720 on our anniversary you really do anything, It's fine, but 0:09:01.760 --> 0:09:03.720 I would still need you to do like, hey, picked 0:09:03.760 --> 0:09:05.600 you flowers, like you have to spend money on me, 0:09:05.679 --> 0:09:09.240 but like show a little effort even on our anniversary. Yeah, 0:09:09.280 --> 0:09:13.319 a little effort goes a long way. So for Christmas 0:09:13.320 --> 0:09:16.080 this past year, we exchanged gifts, and I feel like 0:09:16.160 --> 0:09:22.079 Calin thought that she uh that that I outperformed her 0:09:22.200 --> 0:09:24.400 in the gift giving, and so she went all out 0:09:24.480 --> 0:09:27.080 and made up for it for my birthday, which then 0:09:27.160 --> 0:09:29.560 puts me in a position where like, Okay, I could 0:09:29.559 --> 0:09:32.360 either try to do more than she did for my 0:09:32.480 --> 0:09:35.440 birthday or like kind of recalibrate and shoot for under 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:37.400 the bar so that way we're not always trying to 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:39.800 go all out for each other during birthdays and Christmas 0:09:39.840 --> 0:09:43.040 and stuff. So I don't know, we'll see. Maybe this 0:09:43.080 --> 0:09:45.439 is something that we should just get rid of. We too, 0:09:45.600 --> 0:09:48.160 we put too much pressure on gifts, you know, maybe 0:09:48.240 --> 0:09:51.640 we should. I think that you should talk to your 0:09:51.679 --> 0:09:56.120 significant other. And what if a couple had a partnership, 0:09:56.520 --> 0:09:59.520 they had, you know, an agreement that said no gift 0:09:59.559 --> 0:10:04.880 giving unless it's like something like flowers, because don't you think, 0:10:04.880 --> 0:10:06.880 like now you're talking about am I gonna go too much? 0:10:06.880 --> 0:10:08.640 Am I gonna buy her too much? I don't know. 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:11.360 My thing is, my big thing with the receiving gifts 0:10:11.480 --> 0:10:14.640 is as like, look, if I want something, I already 0:10:14.679 --> 0:10:16.320 have it because I'm just gonna go out and get it, 0:10:16.360 --> 0:10:18.160 Like I don't. I don't wait for you to buy 0:10:18.200 --> 0:10:20.719 me things, all right. I don't need to be bought things. 0:10:20.760 --> 0:10:22.720 I I already have everything that I want or you need. 0:10:22.760 --> 0:10:24.880 It's typically gonna be a camera equipment. If I need 0:10:25.000 --> 0:10:26.840 something or want something, I'll just go out and get it. 0:10:27.200 --> 0:10:29.480 So that kind of puts a gift giving or gift 0:10:29.480 --> 0:10:32.360 receiving in a precarious position too, because it's like, like, 0:10:32.400 --> 0:10:34.240 she got me a go Pro, a brand new GoPro 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:36.160 this birthday, which is great because I've been meaning to 0:10:36.160 --> 0:10:38.680 get one anyways, But that was kind of like a 0:10:38.679 --> 0:10:41.560 one off, I don't know, so coming up she's turned 0:10:41.559 --> 0:10:46.040 in twenty, I don't know, or something like that somewhere 0:10:46.240 --> 0:10:51.079 somewhere in her mid twenties. Uh, you're you're already starting 0:10:51.120 --> 0:10:54.400 the birthday week off of a bang bro. Yeah, you 0:10:54.400 --> 0:10:57.280 can only go up from here, do any of you guys? 0:10:57.480 --> 0:11:01.360 Speaking of gifts, obviously you have had relationships in the past. 0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:03.120 What are your what are you supposed to do with 0:11:03.160 --> 0:11:07.040 gifts once you break up with the person? Like, do 0:11:07.160 --> 0:11:10.839 you keep it? Do you give it back? Do you like, 0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:13.640 let's say to nice camera or let's say it's assigned 0:11:14.080 --> 0:11:17.320 Tom Brady Jersey that he was gifted from an X 0:11:17.400 --> 0:11:21.840 you guys, but but like, what is somebody that's something 0:11:21.960 --> 0:11:23.480 like that they've given to you where you're like, I 0:11:23.520 --> 0:11:26.679 really physically can't give it back. I've kept I've kept 0:11:26.880 --> 0:11:29.440 sentimental gifts from from an X, But I want to 0:11:29.440 --> 0:11:31.360 know what the like, what is the caliber, like what 0:11:31.440 --> 0:11:34.000 was it so that we can decipher was a right 0:11:34.040 --> 0:11:35.840 for you to keep or not? Well, that's what I mean. 0:11:35.960 --> 0:11:39.200 It was it was I don't know. It was a 0:11:39.400 --> 0:11:43.920 it was a beautifully well made booklet where uh, it 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:46.040 was just it was like a kind of like a 0:11:46.040 --> 0:11:48.880 story book of our life and or our relationship at 0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:52.000 the time. And it's just like I remember when we 0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:54.679 broke up and I was like going through stuff as 0:11:54.720 --> 0:11:56.959 I was moving and I found it, and it's like, 0:11:57.760 --> 0:12:01.400 I can't throw this out, like it's it's a part 0:12:01.440 --> 0:12:03.360 of my life. It's like a part of who I am, 0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:05.880 And there was so much thought and effort put into 0:12:05.920 --> 0:12:08.040 this that I'm supposed to just throw it away as 0:12:08.080 --> 0:12:11.000 if it was nothing. So I have it. It's stored away, 0:12:11.040 --> 0:12:13.440 but I have it. That would be my advice. I 0:12:13.440 --> 0:12:15.839 don't know something unless like they cheat on you or 0:12:15.920 --> 0:12:18.120 they do you wrong, than you know, burn everything. But 0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:22.719 I I I do keep things I do. It's a 0:12:22.720 --> 0:12:24.680 good way to remember that point in your life, you know. 0:12:25.920 --> 0:12:28.360 I will say, when I was moving out of my house, 0:12:28.559 --> 0:12:31.760 and moving into the van, I've discovered an old shoe 0:12:31.760 --> 0:12:34.520 box that I had that had the similar things like 0:12:34.559 --> 0:12:38.480 the keepsakes, the mementos from past relationships, like handwritten birthday 0:12:38.520 --> 0:12:41.440 cards and like things like that. Uh, And I like 0:12:41.640 --> 0:12:43.679 looked at him, opening him up, laughed a little bit, 0:12:43.720 --> 0:12:45.080 and then I just chucked the whole box in the 0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:50.320 trash game. That sounds about right. So so up until 0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:52.600 last year, I had kept everything I had received from 0:12:52.640 --> 0:12:55.880 any like girlfriend or whatever that had written me cards, 0:12:55.960 --> 0:12:58.120 especially like the more meaningful ones. And then I was 0:12:58.160 --> 0:13:00.240 just like, you know what, enough is enough. I'm thrown 0:13:00.240 --> 0:13:02.920 these away. So I think, follow up, follow up to that, 0:13:03.000 --> 0:13:05.560 because if you've had that box for a while, why 0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:09.040 now did you want to get rid of it? Um? 0:13:09.080 --> 0:13:10.480 I think that a lot of us kind of have 0:13:10.640 --> 0:13:13.120 packrat tendencies and they want to keep these things, especially 0:13:13.120 --> 0:13:15.520 like those unique things that can't be recreated, like Jared's 0:13:15.520 --> 0:13:19.880 box Jared's book for instance. Um. But yeah, it's like why, 0:13:19.880 --> 0:13:22.480 I don't know, why would I want to keep a 0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:25.120 card that was written for me from a girl that 0:13:25.160 --> 0:13:28.360 I did it when I was nineteen? Uh? What purpose 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:30.120 does that serve for me in my life? You know, 0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:32.600 was it a long relationship or was it just a fling? 0:13:33.040 --> 0:13:36.319 It was like my serious girlfriend in college, Okay, because 0:13:36.320 --> 0:13:38.480 the gift that I have from this particular person. We 0:13:38.559 --> 0:13:40.800 dated for almost four years. So it's like, you know, 0:13:42.160 --> 0:13:44.920 you know, you still care for the person as a human, 0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:46.800 and you're like, I can't I can't throw this out. 0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:49.800 I can't do it. Feels like I'm like stabbing them. 0:13:49.920 --> 0:13:53.400 You know. Does Ashley still have that booklet though, Jared, 0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:57.560 I don't know, honestly. I mean, I'm gonna tell, but 0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:01.800 it's some are in storage. I don't know where it is, 0:14:02.080 --> 0:14:04.559 but I know that it's there. And so I don't 0:14:04.559 --> 0:14:06.560 think I've ever really thought of telling Ashley, but I 0:14:06.559 --> 0:14:10.080 guess now would I feel guilty if I don't tell her? 0:14:10.960 --> 0:14:13.000 It was so thoughtful. It was hard for you to 0:14:13.000 --> 0:14:14.880 throw that away. Yeah, when I found it, it it was 0:14:14.920 --> 0:14:16.520 like I'm not And I was with Ashley when I 0:14:16.559 --> 0:14:19.040 saw it, and I was like, I can't throw this way, Like, 0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:20.960 I'm just gonna keep it in storage, keeping a bin. 0:14:21.440 --> 0:14:24.880 And it's like, you know, in in a storage area, 0:14:25.520 --> 0:14:28.240 and that's it. I see where you're coming from. But 0:14:28.360 --> 0:14:31.120 I'm just gonna go full blown devil's advocate and say, 0:14:31.480 --> 0:14:35.200 it's just gonna only create The only possibility of you 0:14:35.400 --> 0:14:38.880 keeping this thing is future friction, you know what I mean, 0:14:38.920 --> 0:14:41.920 where it's like, you don't need to relive those memories 0:14:41.920 --> 0:14:43.800 because you're creating new ones with your wife. You don't 0:14:43.800 --> 0:14:46.280 need your wife finding an old memory book of you 0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:48.640 and an ex girlfriend because that's just gonna make her. 0:14:49.840 --> 0:14:52.040 You know. I'm not saying she's gonna be insecure, but like, 0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:54.440 that's only what it's going to kind of breed. So 0:14:54.480 --> 0:14:56.600 in my opinion, I think you should just toss it. 0:14:56.680 --> 0:14:59.720 I think any type of those like by holding on 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:03.520 to things like that, like cards and photo albums, it's 0:15:03.560 --> 0:15:08.120 you holding onto the possibility that you might soon return 0:15:08.160 --> 0:15:12.120 to that relationship that I think that it might be. 0:15:12.320 --> 0:15:14.720 I don't I don't know. I think that by having 0:15:14.720 --> 0:15:16.240 these things, you're like, in the back of your head, 0:15:16.240 --> 0:15:17.680 you're like, well, what if we get back together. I 0:15:17.720 --> 0:15:19.320 want to keep this book just in case, you know 0:15:19.360 --> 0:15:21.040 what I mean. No, that's not what I was going 0:15:21.120 --> 0:15:23.360 through my head. What was going through my head was 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:25.640 just it was sad. I have one last comment that 0:15:25.680 --> 0:15:28.880 I think is worse than than having an ex give 0:15:28.880 --> 0:15:30.200 a gift that like you kind of have to stare 0:15:30.280 --> 0:15:33.320 up and like think about all over again when they 0:15:33.360 --> 0:15:37.240 dedicate a song to you. Have you ever had somebody 0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:39.800 be like, this is our song and now whenever that 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:42.920 song comes on the radio, you're like, oh, like I 0:15:42.960 --> 0:15:45.040 don't like you still, but it kind of takes you 0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:47.920 back nostalgic wise, and they can never listen to the 0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:52.200 song normal again. It's so true. I remember when I 0:15:52.240 --> 0:15:54.600 was in a on that note. When I was in college, 0:15:54.680 --> 0:15:56.560 there was that song that was I think it was 0:15:56.600 --> 0:16:00.080 by Ludicrous. It was my Chick Bad, My Chick It, 0:16:00.400 --> 0:16:04.320 my Chick do stuff You chick wish you could. Horrible song, 0:16:04.680 --> 0:16:06.680 but remind every time, And it was like the most 0:16:06.680 --> 0:16:08.840 popular song at the time too, So every time I listened, 0:16:08.840 --> 0:16:10.840 every time I heard someone else playing, it reminded me 0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:12.800 of my ex girlfriend and I was like, this song 0:16:13.440 --> 0:16:17.160 is going to be the death of me. But uh yeah, 0:16:17.360 --> 0:16:20.160 with songs, I feel like time heals all wounds. Like yeah, 0:16:20.200 --> 0:16:23.120 there were songs that I listened to afterwards after breakups 0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:24.840 and I would think about the relationship and I get 0:16:24.880 --> 0:16:28.200 sad or mad. But now I hear the song and 0:16:28.240 --> 0:16:30.960 I guess it does transport me back in time. But 0:16:31.320 --> 0:16:34.520 I just feel differently about it. I don't get sad, 0:16:34.560 --> 0:16:37.200 I get maybe more nostalgic. I'm like, oh wow, yeah, 0:16:37.240 --> 0:16:40.640 that's crazy, that was so long ago. Yeah, I think 0:16:40.640 --> 0:16:43.280 it just takes time. Like yeah, when the when you 0:16:43.360 --> 0:16:45.560 first break up with someone or months afterwards and you 0:16:45.640 --> 0:16:49.040 hear a song that you what was your song together, 0:16:49.400 --> 0:16:52.360 It's gonna suck. It's gonna suck to hear that damn song. 0:16:52.600 --> 0:16:57.400 But I promised time heals all wounds. Anyways, we got 0:16:57.440 --> 0:16:59.680 Matt and Leo waiting to jump on the phone with us. 0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:04.480 Uh so for the record, just just to close this conversation, 0:17:04.880 --> 0:17:08.040 Kalen's birthdays coming up. If you want to hear how 0:17:08.080 --> 0:17:10.280 it went, if you want to, if you're interested in 0:17:10.320 --> 0:17:12.359 hearing how it goes, tune in next week for that 0:17:12.440 --> 0:17:14.520 episode when we record, because I can look back on 0:17:14.560 --> 0:17:16.480 it then, but we do it. Matt and Lea, who 0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:20.040 are wrestlers in the w w E who just recently 0:17:20.080 --> 0:17:22.680 moved in together. They just recently made their relationship public 0:17:22.680 --> 0:17:25.160 as well. Um, they're going to tell us a little 0:17:25.160 --> 0:17:26.920 bit about what they've been working on and what they've 0:17:26.920 --> 0:17:29.480 been doing in quarantine and all those things, So stay 0:17:29.520 --> 0:17:31.040 tuned for that. We're gonna take one quick break and 0:17:31.040 --> 0:17:43.480 be right back. All right, welcome back to help I 0:17:43.520 --> 0:17:45.680 suck at dating. We have two very special guests who 0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:48.080 are on the line with us right now. You know 0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:52.280 them from the w W D w W E. But 0:17:52.359 --> 0:17:55.760 they have a brand new podcast that is all about relationships. 0:17:55.800 --> 0:17:58.000 It is called Bear with Us. We have Leah van 0:17:58.080 --> 0:18:00.720 Dale and Matt Polinsky. How are you guys, Thanks for 0:18:00.800 --> 0:18:03.800 joining us, Thanks for having us. Yeah, this is great. 0:18:03.840 --> 0:18:05.320 I appreciate it. So why do you guys want to 0:18:05.359 --> 0:18:11.120 do a relationship podcast? Well, the genesis of it something 0:18:11.119 --> 0:18:12.919 we kind of we kind of joked about for a 0:18:12.960 --> 0:18:16.640 long time, but it didn't really come to fruition until Quarantine. Um. 0:18:16.840 --> 0:18:19.879 Our real lives are are you know? Professional lives require 0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:22.240 us to be on the road constantly, So we traveled 0:18:22.280 --> 0:18:25.480 basically fifty two weeks a year. So we found ourselves 0:18:25.520 --> 0:18:28.880 with all of this extra free time and nothing productive 0:18:28.920 --> 0:18:32.080 to do with it, and just on a whim, one night, 0:18:32.160 --> 0:18:33.520 Leah looked at me and said we should do a 0:18:33.520 --> 0:18:38.000 morning show, just I think jokingly, yeah, And so we decided. 0:18:38.080 --> 0:18:42.080 The next morning we jumped on Instagram Live and started 0:18:42.119 --> 0:18:44.840 just being ourselves, just chatting about whatever we did or 0:18:44.880 --> 0:18:47.600 didn't do that day, because like everyone in America, we 0:18:47.640 --> 0:18:51.680 were boarded tears. And as a few weeks passed, we 0:18:51.720 --> 0:18:54.520 started getting a lot of feedback from not only online 0:18:54.560 --> 0:18:56.960 from social media, but from actual friends, people we work 0:18:57.040 --> 0:19:00.600 with that we're watching this stuff and people we're asking 0:19:00.720 --> 0:19:03.000 questions and saying, hey, why don't you talk about this thing? 0:19:03.080 --> 0:19:05.200 And it's just sort of snowballed, and next thing you know, 0:19:05.320 --> 0:19:07.560 we're here. I mean, if I can, if I can 0:19:07.560 --> 0:19:10.840 speak for Jared here, I gotta say that dating podcasts 0:19:11.520 --> 0:19:14.840 they're they're they're fun to produce, but sometimes they can 0:19:14.840 --> 0:19:17.520 create a little friction when when you don't want it 0:19:17.560 --> 0:19:19.840 to be there. For instance, like obviously we're not hosting 0:19:19.840 --> 0:19:22.680 with our significant other like you guys are, but there 0:19:22.720 --> 0:19:25.119 are times where my girlfriend will like bring something up 0:19:25.160 --> 0:19:26.840 that I talked about on a podcast, and I'm like, 0:19:27.359 --> 0:19:30.000 I was just joking. I don't know it's gonna take 0:19:30.040 --> 0:19:32.480 me seriously, especially like the direct quotes that get pulled. 0:19:32.520 --> 0:19:34.840 But I don't know, Jared, what's your experience with it. 0:19:35.640 --> 0:19:39.440 I mean, it's so there's a podcast on I heard 0:19:39.440 --> 0:19:42.040 it's called Wine Down and hosted by Jennet Kramer and 0:19:42.119 --> 0:19:45.920 her husband Mike and Ashley and I did that one time, 0:19:46.160 --> 0:19:49.919 and it was like therapy. It was truly like therapy 0:19:49.960 --> 0:19:51.480 for Ashley and I is that way you guys are 0:19:51.520 --> 0:19:53.879 kind of anticipating because I know you you just started, 0:19:53.920 --> 0:19:56.000 your first episode is out, but you'll be dropping new 0:19:56.000 --> 0:19:58.800 episodes every Thursday. Do you find that it might be 0:19:58.880 --> 0:20:02.199 therapeutic for you? I think it totally is. I mean 0:20:02.240 --> 0:20:04.400 there's certain things that we're talking about that we don't 0:20:04.400 --> 0:20:08.359