Speaker 1: Hell I Suck a Dating with Jared Haven. I heart
Speaker 1: radio podcast What's Up, Sucky Daters? Welcome to an all
Speaker 1: new episode of Help I Suck at Dating. As always,
Speaker 1: it's your host Dean Unglert, joined via zoom with Jared Haven.
Speaker 1: All the way from the East Coast, Baby, Connecticut? Am
Speaker 1: I right? Or on way off Virginia? More way off?
Speaker 1: I was trying to plan a Connecticut or no Vermont
Speaker 1: trip for the autumn, So maybe that's where I was.
Speaker 1: All those all those Eastern states blend together, and they
Speaker 1: all blend together. It is crazy to think that California
Speaker 1: takes up the entire West coast, and then you think
Speaker 1: of the East coast. From the size of California, there's
Speaker 1: got to be I don't know that's a good point.
Speaker 1: I guess there's only four states that bordered the western
Speaker 1: western facing states that bordered the Pacific, and there's probably
Speaker 1: like twenty on the East coast that border the Atlantic.
Speaker 1: It's crazy, man, you know. Crazy, That's what we are.
Speaker 1: We are. We are a geography class podcast. That's what
Speaker 1: we're turning into right now because you know, datings on
Speaker 1: halt during COVID. I'm glad we can agree on the
Speaker 1: scale of crazy that that really truly is. And then
Speaker 1: and then it doesn't stop there. But then you also
Speaker 1: have the Gulf States like Texas, Alabama, Louisiana, those kinds
Speaker 1: of art in the Atlantic Ocean too, because the Gulf
Speaker 1: of Mexico is at the Atlantic. I don't know who knows. Anyways,
Speaker 1: we got a great episode for you guys this week.
Speaker 1: We have Matt and Leah. You probably know them more
Speaker 1: formally by their wrestling names, which they're from the w
Speaker 1: w E. It's Matt Polinsky and Lea Van Dale. And
Speaker 1: then Lee is on Total Diva's Ever Watch that. I
Speaker 1: do not watch that show. I'm not big in the
Speaker 1: w w E either, but they do seem like a
Speaker 1: pretty cute couple. I was going to introduce them by
Speaker 1: their wrestling names, but I think that they because of
Speaker 1: their new podcast that they're releasing one and more affectionately
Speaker 1: go by Leah and Matt. So we're gonna get to
Speaker 1: them in a little bit. Um, we are going to
Speaker 1: play a game later on. Tory loves her games, so
Speaker 1: we're gonna jump in one of those later on as well.
Speaker 1: But in the meantime, Jared, oh no, this is focused
Speaker 1: on you. It's a big week for you. This is
Speaker 1: Caitlin's birthday week, it is Calin's birthday is coming up,
Speaker 1: and the pressure is on. I feel the pressure, especially
Speaker 1: because she knocked it out of the park so well
Speaker 1: with my birthday a couple of months ago. What what
Speaker 1: did she do again, you asked, That is what I asked, Yes, she,
Speaker 1: I mean it was a quarantine birthday, so it's like
Speaker 1: what can you do? But she made the most of it.
Speaker 1: She like made me breakfast in bed with the whole menu.
Speaker 1: She got some like some lunch brought in from my
Speaker 1: favorite restaurants. She got me all the gifts that I wanted.
Speaker 1: She set up a little movie theater in our other
Speaker 1: bedroom for us to watch my favorite movie, Oh, Interstellar,
Speaker 1: that's right. One of the things she did that was
Speaker 1: the cutest thing ever was the Picnic Collective, which now
Speaker 1: I'm like a huge fan of them, where they make
Speaker 1: these pre made picnics and they like drop it up,
Speaker 1: drop it off at your place, or they can set
Speaker 1: it up at the beach for you. I did that
Speaker 1: was actually I did that with actually in Hawaii. It
Speaker 1: was our like it was our first like vacation after
Speaker 1: we came out as a couple. It is the cutest
Speaker 1: thing ever. Everybody, this is the perfect date at night,
Speaker 1: date day idea. Ever, it was a great date idea. Uh.
Speaker 1: In addition to that, this is where the one hiccup
Speaker 1: that she had she overdid it a little much. She
Speaker 1: did the Picnic Collective, which was fantastic. They give you
Speaker 1: fruits and cheeses and crackers and you could just munch.
Speaker 1: I think they were champagne too. But she also ordered
Speaker 1: some Domino's pizza, which I love Domino's pizza. But it
Speaker 1: was just a lot of cheese and a lot of
Speaker 1: bread and we were only able to eat so much
Speaker 1: of it because there was there's a little too much food,
Speaker 1: which how can I'm not complaining, I'm just saying the
Speaker 1: picnic the Picnic Collective provides a lot of food. Dominoes
Speaker 1: obviously is a lot of food in itself. So so anyways, pointed,
Speaker 1: she knocked it out of the park. So now the
Speaker 1: pressure is on me to do the same. The chat
Speaker 1: leunge here is well, it's kind of like a pros
Speaker 1: and con. So the pro is I got to see
Speaker 1: exactly how big she went from my birthday, so I
Speaker 1: can replicate that rather than going in blind and not
Speaker 1: knowing how big to go. Uh. The con here is
Speaker 1: that our one year anniversary is a couple of days
Speaker 1: after her birthday. So it's like, if your birthday is
Speaker 1: on December and your parents got you a joint Christmas
Speaker 1: and birthday gift, you are upsets. So do I get
Speaker 1: her a joint birthday and anniversary gift? Or do I
Speaker 1: do two distinct different things. Didn't you just answer your
Speaker 1: own question? Listen, Yes, from the from the perspective of
Speaker 1: the parents, it makes sense to do one gift. But
Speaker 1: from the perspective of the children receiving the gifts, obviously
Speaker 1: you're gonna want to gifts. And she she made a
Speaker 1: comment about getting me an anniversary president, and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh wait, you're gonna get me an anniversary president. Why, like, boy,
Speaker 1: would you do that? And she goes, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I just want to. And so that kind of adds
Speaker 1: the pressure to separate and do a birth the gift
Speaker 1: and a anniversary gift. So we're gonna see what happens.
Speaker 1: I've got some stuff picked out, I I know some
Speaker 1: things that she wants. I've got some funny gifts and
Speaker 1: some more meaningful gifts and some more practical gifts. But
Speaker 1: but yeah, man, I've never really been the best with birthdays.
Speaker 1: I'm more into like the spontaneous gift giving. This is
Speaker 1: a good conversation topic though, because it's you guys have
Speaker 1: been dating for a year now, Like, what is the
Speaker 1: level of gifts that you give? Like have you celebrated
Speaker 1: month to month or you guys going for your big
Speaker 1: bang for a year? Do you do just flowers? Is
Speaker 1: a more thoughtful like I wonder what the history is
Speaker 1: that you're supposed to take with anniversary gifts. I think
Speaker 1: the one year anniversary gift is the engagement ring gift, right,
Speaker 1: I'm right on the story, right, is it is that
Speaker 1: what you got actually after you guys one year? No,
Speaker 1: I waited like three months, that's true, I guess, But
Speaker 1: that's technically four years of relationships. You know, you guys
Speaker 1: were you guys were friends for four years earlier. So
Speaker 1: the first year together it is something that is paper,
Speaker 1: Second year is cotton, third years leather, fourth year flute, flute, fruit, flowers,
Speaker 1: linen or silk, And there's this whole thing that goes on.
Speaker 1: So why don't you just start your tradition now with
Speaker 1: something that has to do with paper. Yeah, I guess
Speaker 1: I could get like like a hundred dollar bill or
Speaker 1: something like that. Here's a hundred dollars, spend it. Um, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that's kind of more. It doesn't that kind
Speaker 1: of more relate to marriage and stuff. So one year dating.
Speaker 1: When we first started dating, we would, uh, well she
Speaker 1: I guess would be like, hey, it's there one month anniversary. Hey,
Speaker 1: it's our two month anniversary. Hey. But then after about
Speaker 1: like a month four, we kind of stopped caring so much.
Speaker 1: So yeah, the one year, um, it's kind of bigger.
Speaker 1: Her grandparents live out in near Las Vegas, so we're
Speaker 1: going to drive out there for her birthday and spend
Speaker 1: a couple of days out there, just like with her family.
Speaker 1: But other than that, I mean, there's nothing crazy planned.
Speaker 1: I wanted to. This is my plan before COVID struck,
Speaker 1: was to on her birthday give her plane tickets, preferably
Speaker 1: to like the Maldives and then on and the plane
Speaker 1: tickets would depart on the anniversary, so you know, she
Speaker 1: gets the gift on the birthday and then we celebrate
Speaker 1: on the anniversary and we go to this place that
Speaker 1: she's wanted to go. Obviously, I can do that against
Speaker 1: some other time, and I think I'll do it next year.
Speaker 1: Hopefully she's not listening to this or we'll not listen
Speaker 1: to this, but but yeah, I don't know. Uh. Do
Speaker 1: you guys think that if you underperform on a birthday
Speaker 1: or anniversary it's a it's a red flag or a
Speaker 1: bad sign or something to argue about. What's your experience
Speaker 1: with with underperforming? Yeah, you get yelled at if you underperform.
Speaker 1: I think as long as you put thought into the gift.
Speaker 1: Like a lot of the gifts that I get Ashley,
Speaker 1: they're they're not materialistic things. Their letters or like I
Speaker 1: give her like coupons, it's like two free back massages
Speaker 1: or you know, one makeout sesh. You know, find like
Speaker 1: stuff like that, you know that, trying to keep it
Speaker 1: fun and light. That's kind of like my go to
Speaker 1: for gifts. Hey, Jared, I'm gonna cash in on my
Speaker 1: makeout sesh, right, that's it. She hasn't cashed in on
Speaker 1: it yet. It just happens, you know. I think that's
Speaker 1: a good thing, though she hasn't had. I hope you
Speaker 1: brought your chapstick because I'm about to suck those lips dry. Interesting, Interesting,
Speaker 1: your lips dry? Haven't heard Tori as a female? What
Speaker 1: gift would you want? Well, I would say it stems
Speaker 1: from and I know you guys are probably eye roll,
Speaker 1: but what their love languages. And for me, like I
Speaker 1: am someone who appreciates gifts, but not like materialistic in
Speaker 1: the sense of like get me diamonds, although you know
Speaker 1: we all love that. I'm more of like I appreciate
Speaker 1: when you know somebody's put attention and thought into it.
Speaker 1: So as long as that's happening, I think that nobody
Speaker 1: can really be disappointed. But if you're like just showing up,
Speaker 1: being like, well I just looped it together, and then
Speaker 1: on our anniversary you really do anything, It's fine, but
Speaker 1: I would still need you to do like, hey, picked
Speaker 1: you flowers, like you have to spend money on me,
Speaker 1: but like show a little effort even on our anniversary. Yeah,
Speaker 1: a little effort goes a long way. So for Christmas
Speaker 1: this past year, we exchanged gifts, and I feel like
Speaker 1: Calin thought that she uh that that I outperformed her
Speaker 1: in the gift giving, and so she went all out
Speaker 1: and made up for it for my birthday, which then
Speaker 1: puts me in a position where like, Okay, I could
Speaker 1: either try to do more than she did for my
Speaker 1: birthday or like kind of recalibrate and shoot for under
Speaker 1: the bar so that way we're not always trying to
Speaker 1: go all out for each other during birthdays and Christmas
Speaker 1: and stuff. So I don't know, we'll see. Maybe this
Speaker 1: is something that we should just get rid of. We too,
Speaker 1: we put too much pressure on gifts, you know, maybe
Speaker 1: we should. I think that you should talk to your
Speaker 1: significant other. And what if a couple had a partnership,
Speaker 1: they had, you know, an agreement that said no gift
Speaker 1: giving unless it's like something like flowers, because don't you think,
Speaker 1: like now you're talking about am I gonna go too much?
Speaker 1: Am I gonna buy her too much? I don't know.
Speaker 1: My thing is, my big thing with the receiving gifts
Speaker 1: is as like, look, if I want something, I already
Speaker 1: have it because I'm just gonna go out and get it,
Speaker 1: Like I don't. I don't wait for you to buy
Speaker 1: me things, all right. I don't need to be bought things.
Speaker 1: I I already have everything that I want or you need.
Speaker 1: It's typically gonna be a camera equipment. If I need
Speaker 1: something or want something, I'll just go out and get it.
Speaker 1: So that kind of puts a gift giving or gift
Speaker 1: receiving in a precarious position too, because it's like, like,
Speaker 1: she got me a go Pro, a brand new GoPro
Speaker 1: this birthday, which is great because I've been meaning to
Speaker 1: get one anyways, But that was kind of like a
Speaker 1: one off, I don't know, so coming up she's turned
Speaker 1: in twenty, I don't know, or something like that somewhere
Speaker 1: somewhere in her mid twenties. Uh, you're you're already starting
Speaker 1: the birthday week off of a bang bro. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: can only go up from here, do any of you guys?
Speaker 1: Speaking of gifts, obviously you have had relationships in the past.
Speaker 1: What are your what are you supposed to do with
Speaker 1: gifts once you break up with the person? Like, do
Speaker 1: you keep it? Do you give it back? Do you like,
Speaker 1: let's say to nice camera or let's say it's assigned
Speaker 1: Tom Brady Jersey that he was gifted from an X
Speaker 1: you guys, but but like, what is somebody that's something
Speaker 1: like that they've given to you where you're like, I
Speaker 1: really physically can't give it back. I've kept I've kept
Speaker 1: sentimental gifts from from an X, But I want to
Speaker 1: know what the like, what is the caliber, like what
Speaker 1: was it so that we can decipher was a right
Speaker 1: for you to keep or not? Well, that's what I mean.
Speaker 1: It was it was I don't know. It was a
Speaker 1: it was a beautifully well made booklet where uh, it
Speaker 1: was just it was like a kind of like a
Speaker 1: story book of our life and or our relationship at
Speaker 1: the time. And it's just like I remember when we
Speaker 1: broke up and I was like going through stuff as
Speaker 1: I was moving and I found it, and it's like,
Speaker 1: I can't throw this out, like it's it's a part
Speaker 1: of my life. It's like a part of who I am,
Speaker 1: And there was so much thought and effort put into
Speaker 1: this that I'm supposed to just throw it away as
Speaker 1: if it was nothing. So I have it. It's stored away,
Speaker 1: but I have it. That would be my advice. I
Speaker 1: don't know something unless like they cheat on you or
Speaker 1: they do you wrong, than you know, burn everything. But
Speaker 1: I I I do keep things I do. It's a
Speaker 1: good way to remember that point in your life, you know.
Speaker 1: I will say, when I was moving out of my house,
Speaker 1: and moving into the van, I've discovered an old shoe
Speaker 1: box that I had that had the similar things like
Speaker 1: the keepsakes, the mementos from past relationships, like handwritten birthday
Speaker 1: cards and like things like that. Uh, And I like
Speaker 1: looked at him, opening him up, laughed a little bit,
Speaker 1: and then I just chucked the whole box in the
Speaker 1: trash game. That sounds about right. So so up until
Speaker 1: last year, I had kept everything I had received from
Speaker 1: any like girlfriend or whatever that had written me cards,
Speaker 1: especially like the more meaningful ones. And then I was
Speaker 1: just like, you know what, enough is enough. I'm thrown
Speaker 1: these away. So I think, follow up, follow up to that,
Speaker 1: because if you've had that box for a while, why
Speaker 1: now did you want to get rid of it? Um?
Speaker 1: I think that a lot of us kind of have
Speaker 1: packrat tendencies and they want to keep these things, especially
Speaker 1: like those unique things that can't be recreated, like Jared's
Speaker 1: box Jared's book for instance. Um. But yeah, it's like why,
Speaker 1: I don't know, why would I want to keep a
Speaker 1: card that was written for me from a girl that
Speaker 1: I did it when I was nineteen? Uh? What purpose
Speaker 1: does that serve for me in my life? You know,
Speaker 1: was it a long relationship or was it just a fling?
Speaker 1: It was like my serious girlfriend in college, Okay, because
Speaker 1: the gift that I have from this particular person. We
Speaker 1: dated for almost four years. So it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: you know, you still care for the person as a human,
Speaker 1: and you're like, I can't I can't throw this out.
Speaker 1: I can't do it. Feels like I'm like stabbing them.
Speaker 1: You know. Does Ashley still have that booklet though, Jared,
Speaker 1: I don't know, honestly. I mean, I'm gonna tell, but
Speaker 1: it's some are in storage. I don't know where it is,
Speaker 1: but I know that it's there. And so I don't
Speaker 1: think I've ever really thought of telling Ashley, but I
Speaker 1: guess now would I feel guilty if I don't tell her?
Speaker 1: It was so thoughtful. It was hard for you to
Speaker 1: throw that away. Yeah, when I found it, it it was
Speaker 1: like I'm not And I was with Ashley when I
Speaker 1: saw it, and I was like, I can't throw this way, Like,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna keep it in storage, keeping a bin.
Speaker 1: And it's like, you know, in in a storage area,
Speaker 1: and that's it. I see where you're coming from. But
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna go full blown devil's advocate and say,
Speaker 1: it's just gonna only create The only possibility of you
Speaker 1: keeping this thing is future friction, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: where it's like, you don't need to relive those memories
Speaker 1: because you're creating new ones with your wife. You don't
Speaker 1: need your wife finding an old memory book of you
Speaker 1: and an ex girlfriend because that's just gonna make her.
Speaker 1: You know. I'm not saying she's gonna be insecure, but like,
Speaker 1: that's only what it's going to kind of breed. So
Speaker 1: in my opinion, I think you should just toss it.
Speaker 1: I think any type of those like by holding on
Speaker 1: to things like that, like cards and photo albums, it's
Speaker 1: you holding onto the possibility that you might soon return
Speaker 1: to that relationship that I think that it might be.
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know. I think that by having
Speaker 1: these things, you're like, in the back of your head,
Speaker 1: you're like, well, what if we get back together. I
Speaker 1: want to keep this book just in case, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. No, that's not what I was going
Speaker 1: through my head. What was going through my head was
Speaker 1: just it was sad. I have one last comment that
Speaker 1: I think is worse than than having an ex give
Speaker 1: a gift that like you kind of have to stare
Speaker 1: up and like think about all over again when they
Speaker 1: dedicate a song to you. Have you ever had somebody
Speaker 1: be like, this is our song and now whenever that
Speaker 1: song comes on the radio, you're like, oh, like I
Speaker 1: don't like you still, but it kind of takes you
Speaker 1: back nostalgic wise, and they can never listen to the
Speaker 1: song normal again. It's so true. I remember when I
Speaker 1: was in a on that note. When I was in college,
Speaker 1: there was that song that was I think it was
Speaker 1: by Ludicrous. It was my Chick Bad, My Chick It,
Speaker 1: my Chick do stuff You chick wish you could. Horrible song,
Speaker 1: but remind every time, And it was like the most
Speaker 1: popular song at the time too, So every time I listened,
Speaker 1: every time I heard someone else playing, it reminded me
Speaker 1: of my ex girlfriend and I was like, this song
Speaker 1: is going to be the death of me. But uh yeah,
Speaker 1: with songs, I feel like time heals all wounds. Like yeah,
Speaker 1: there were songs that I listened to afterwards after breakups
Speaker 1: and I would think about the relationship and I get
Speaker 1: sad or mad. But now I hear the song and
Speaker 1: I guess it does transport me back in time. But
Speaker 1: I just feel differently about it. I don't get sad,
Speaker 1: I get maybe more nostalgic. I'm like, oh wow, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's crazy, that was so long ago. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: it just takes time. Like yeah, when the when you
Speaker 1: first break up with someone or months afterwards and you
Speaker 1: hear a song that you what was your song together,
Speaker 1: It's gonna suck. It's gonna suck to hear that damn song.
Speaker 1: But I promised time heals all wounds. Anyways, we got
Speaker 1: Matt and Leo waiting to jump on the phone with us.
Speaker 1: Uh so for the record, just just to close this conversation,
Speaker 1: Kalen's birthdays coming up. If you want to hear how
Speaker 1: it went, if you want to, if you're interested in
Speaker 1: hearing how it goes, tune in next week for that
Speaker 1: episode when we record, because I can look back on
Speaker 1: it then, but we do it. Matt and Lea, who
Speaker 1: are wrestlers in the w w E who just recently
Speaker 1: moved in together. They just recently made their relationship public
Speaker 1: as well. Um, they're going to tell us a little
Speaker 1: bit about what they've been working on and what they've
Speaker 1: been doing in quarantine and all those things, So stay
Speaker 1: tuned for that. We're gonna take one quick break and
Speaker 1: be right back. All right, welcome back to help I
Speaker 1: suck at dating. We have two very special guests who
Speaker 1: are on the line with us right now. You know
Speaker 1: them from the w W D w W E. But
Speaker 1: they have a brand new podcast that is all about relationships.
Speaker 1: It is called Bear with Us. We have Leah van
Speaker 1: Dale and Matt Polinsky. How are you guys, Thanks for
Speaker 1: joining us, Thanks for having us. Yeah, this is great.
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. So why do you guys want to
Speaker 1: do a relationship podcast? Well, the genesis of it something
Speaker 1: we kind of we kind of joked about for a
Speaker 1: long time, but it didn't really come to fruition until Quarantine. Um.
Speaker 1: Our real lives are are you know? Professional lives require
Speaker 1: us to be on the road constantly, So we traveled
Speaker 1: basically fifty two weeks a year. So we found ourselves
Speaker 1: with all of this extra free time and nothing productive
Speaker 1: to do with it, and just on a whim, one night,
Speaker 1: Leah looked at me and said we should do a
Speaker 1: morning show, just I think jokingly, yeah, And so we decided.
Speaker 1: The next morning we jumped on Instagram Live and started
Speaker 1: just being ourselves, just chatting about whatever we did or
Speaker 1: didn't do that day, because like everyone in America, we
Speaker 1: were boarded tears. And as a few weeks passed, we
Speaker 1: started getting a lot of feedback from not only online
Speaker 1: from social media, but from actual friends, people we work
Speaker 1: with that we're watching this stuff and people we're asking
Speaker 1: questions and saying, hey, why don't you talk about this thing?
Speaker 1: And it's just sort of snowballed, and next thing you know,
Speaker 1: we're here. I mean, if I can, if I can
Speaker 1: speak for Jared here, I gotta say that dating podcasts
Speaker 1: they're they're they're fun to produce, but sometimes they can
Speaker 1: create a little friction when when you don't want it
Speaker 1: to be there. For instance, like obviously we're not hosting
Speaker 1: with our significant other like you guys are, but there
Speaker 1: are times where my girlfriend will like bring something up
Speaker 1: that I talked about on a podcast, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I was just joking. I don't know it's gonna take
Speaker 1: me seriously, especially like the direct quotes that get pulled.
Speaker 1: But I don't know, Jared, what's your experience with it.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's so there's a podcast on I heard
Speaker 1: it's called Wine Down and hosted by Jennet Kramer and
Speaker 1: her husband Mike and Ashley and I did that one time,
Speaker 1: and it was like therapy. It was truly like therapy
Speaker 1: for Ashley and I is that way you guys are
Speaker 1: kind of anticipating because I know you you just started,
Speaker 1: your first episode is out, but you'll be dropping new
Speaker 1: episodes every Thursday. Do you find that it might be
Speaker 1: therapeutic for you? I think it totally is. I mean
Speaker 1: there's certain things that we're talking about that we don't
Speaker 1: actually talk about, like without the microphone. So like, for example,
Speaker 1: an episode that's shopping next week is all about like
Speaker 1: bodily functions for example, and like he hates like anything
Speaker 1: to do with like the bathroom or farting or like
Speaker 1: anything like that, and it's like we never talked about it.
Speaker 1: And then now we had this whole episode. We had
Speaker 1: like forty five minutes were just chatting about all these
Speaker 1: things we've literally never spoken to each other about. So
Speaker 1: that was like definitely, I mean for me, it was fun.
Speaker 1: For him was uncomfortable, but it was hilarious. Dude, Matt,
Speaker 1: I hear you. I still when I have to go
Speaker 1: to the bathroom, I still tell my wife. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm just gonna use the restroom. I'm not that
Speaker 1: guy who can be like I know it all happens.
Speaker 1: We all do it, but you keep that information to yourself.
Speaker 1: I tell her I want to know everything about her
Speaker 1: except that little category. Oh yeah, I still do the
Speaker 1: shower trick. I'm married. I've been married for eight months,
Speaker 1: and I still will go in the bathroom be like
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take a shower, put the shower on, and
Speaker 1: then you know, do my thing. We we had to
Speaker 1: get really creative because when we first started hanging out dating,
Speaker 1: we were on the road all the time, so we'd
Speaker 1: go out to eat or go out to dinner, and
Speaker 1: then you usually go back to a hotel room and
Speaker 1: you're in this close space and it's like, what do
Speaker 1: you do. I'm like, I'm gonna go to the gym.
Speaker 1: It's like it's ten o'clock and I'm like, I know,
Speaker 1: I just need to get some cardio. That's pretty smart.
Speaker 1: It's better than smell the water, like Jarrett too. You know. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It has been kind of fun, though, even in the
Speaker 1: few that we've recorded, it's like being bought in a
Speaker 1: microphone gives you that sort of almost a safety net
Speaker 1: to be a little more open that we found with
Speaker 1: each other. Um, and it's we haven't had any like knockdown,
Speaker 1: drag out arguments. They're definitely will we could. We could
Speaker 1: feel the tension rising. Yeah, I love it. I think
Speaker 1: I think it's a great idea. It's nice to be
Speaker 1: a little kind of aired out. And it's almost like, yeah,
Speaker 1: like Jared said, like a couple of therapy where even
Speaker 1: if you're not talking with the third person, the microphone
Speaker 1: itself is acting as like an impartial by standard the
Speaker 1: conversation and you gotta like talk everything through. Uh. That
Speaker 1: kind of inspires me to get Kayalin on the podcast
Speaker 1: and see if we can chat with her at some
Speaker 1: point too. But I don't know for for me, for
Speaker 1: my relationship, we're very open about Well, it took a while,
Speaker 1: but I'm like, hey, I'm gonna go poop, I'll see
Speaker 1: you in twenty minutes or something like that, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. Uh, And she she it took her
Speaker 1: some time to warm up to it, but she's starting
Speaker 1: to like embrace the idea of it as well. Versus
Speaker 1: the whole happened to be like, Hey, I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: away for ten minutes. I'll see you a little bit.
Speaker 1: I mean, we all do it, so it's like what
Speaker 1: you can't hate on it if every single one of
Speaker 1: us does it. Um, So what is it like for
Speaker 1: you guys to be a in a relationship that is
Speaker 1: in the public eye? You know, that's the question that
Speaker 1: Dean and I get a lot, Like what's it like
Speaker 1: being married or dating someone and everybody is just watching
Speaker 1: your Instagram or knowing what your life is about? And
Speaker 1: so what do you do you guys think it's beneficial?
Speaker 1: Especially for you guys started inject you not only are
Speaker 1: in the public eye together, but you also in a
Speaker 1: way work together. So does that kind of add a
Speaker 1: different perspective to it as well? We work together, we
Speaker 1: lived together, we're in the same you know, business. And
Speaker 1: I feel like, especially nowadays with social media, everyone thinks
Speaker 1: they know everything about your relationship because you know, we
Speaker 1: put stuff out there on social media, but you don't
Speaker 1: put everything out there, and I think everyone just thinks
Speaker 1: like everyone has their own opinion. And I mean the
Speaker 1: way we kind of debut our relationship was not how
Speaker 1: we wanted to. We kind of I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: even know how to get into it, but like he's divorced,
Speaker 1: so his ex decided to put our relationship out there
Speaker 1: for the world before we wanted to, and so we
Speaker 1: had to deal with that. It's been an uphill battle.
Speaker 1: From I heard about that. I heard that it was
Speaker 1: kind of like was it on the cover of the
Speaker 1: New York Post or something like that. Oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's my grandmother. Yeah yeah, So the entire world thinks,
Speaker 1: you know, that we exist under this false pretense. So
Speaker 1: it took a little while to uh to let that
Speaker 1: die down, and slowly but surely everything kind of came
Speaker 1: out like the truth of the entire situation. And so
Speaker 1: once that's happened, it's it's been smooth. However, as that
Speaker 1: was all happening, she was filming a reality show for
Speaker 1: e So all those like crazy moments of us trying
Speaker 1: to cope with it and deal with this and do
Speaker 1: damage control was like in front of cameras. And also
Speaker 1: we just started dating, so it was like all of
Speaker 1: these things were working against us, right, what the hell, Like,
Speaker 1: how do we even like navigate these waters right now?
Speaker 1: But let me ask you, do you think it made
Speaker 1: you guys stronger in the long run to have to
Speaker 1: deal with the beginning, no doubt about it, and we
Speaker 1: kind of look at it like how much worse can
Speaker 1: it possibly get? That we kind of went through everything
Speaker 1: so early on that like everything else to us like,
Speaker 1: oh who cares? You know? Right right? I think that's
Speaker 1: kind of good advice to that you guys can share
Speaker 1: with us on the podcast that you're hosting Bear with Us.
Speaker 1: And then this one too, where it's like, uh, those
Speaker 1: moments of I guess adversity really because Kaylin and I
Speaker 1: had a similar experience to where there was a lot
Speaker 1: of issues I guess in the early stages, but now
Speaker 1: that we, you know, we're what twelve months removed essentially
Speaker 1: from them, we look back on them and laugh and
Speaker 1: realize that, yeah, like like you said that, things aren't
Speaker 1: really gonna get much worse from there, so I definitely
Speaker 1: can be some some growing from it. Well there's that
Speaker 1: old statement, if you can't handle me at my worst,
Speaker 1: you don't describe at my best. Like we both got
Speaker 1: the worst of each other right out of the gate.
Speaker 1: So now it's like, wow, this is awesome. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: glad we hung around for all this yeah, we stuck
Speaker 1: it out. And so Matt, you mentioned the reality show
Speaker 1: obviously on the Total Diva's Huge show. So how do
Speaker 1: you guys, because a lot of our listeners say it's
Speaker 1: very difficult to navigate relationship, work, friends. It's you know,
Speaker 1: it's just a lot. So you guys are obviously working
Speaker 1: for the w w E, you're on Total Divas, you
Speaker 1: have a podcast, you always traveling, You're doing all these things.
Speaker 1: How do you guys navigate it? Gosh? Sometimes I think like,
Speaker 1: how do we make it through this? Like I look
Speaker 1: back even when we first started filming. We're filming, We're
Speaker 1: dealing with all that stuff with the New York Post
Speaker 1: and all the backlash, like literally getting death threats all
Speaker 1: the time. I was, um, you know, he has three kids.
Speaker 1: We're dealing with a long distance relationship. He was living
Speaker 1: in Connecticut, I was living in Florida. Were on the
Speaker 1: road fifty two weeks a year, four or five days
Speaker 1: a week. It's like, sometimes my mind is blown thinking
Speaker 1: about the things, but you just like keep going. Especially,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I feel like what we have is
Speaker 1: so special and so real that I think it makes
Speaker 1: it somewhat easy, even though it's so difficult. Yeah, I think.
Speaker 1: I think the difficulties sort of lend themselves to now
Speaker 1: not we don't waste time and argue over minutia. You
Speaker 1: don't get lost in the in the usual day to
Speaker 1: day stuff that everybody goes through, because it's like, we
Speaker 1: have thirty thousand other things to worry about, so when
Speaker 1: we're together, the time is usually pretty high quality. Then
Speaker 1: came quarantine, and we were like, oh, this is a
Speaker 1: real test. Never mind all the stuff we've been through,
Speaker 1: can we exist twenty four hours a day with each
Speaker 1: other with no other options. I can't go to the bar,
Speaker 1: she can't go to the mall. There's like nothing but us,
Speaker 1: and we made it so. So I guess that's a testament.
Speaker 1: Tell us how you guys have been getting through quarantine.
Speaker 1: What have you guys been doing to stay busy and
Speaker 1: stay I guess not to ap each other's throats, because
Speaker 1: that's that's a big thing with couples especially, you know. Yeah, Well,
Speaker 1: we went from not seeing each other very often at all,
Speaker 1: Like I said, we're doing a long distance relationship. We
Speaker 1: just moved in together the end of December, so it
Speaker 1: was like very new and exciting and I was like, like,
Speaker 1: this is so fun to like live together. And then
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, I was like, Okay, like I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go upstairs, leave me alone and give me like
Speaker 1: an hour to I like decomfess, I've seen enough of
Speaker 1: your face right now. Yeah, it's it was um. There
Speaker 1: was no real trick, I would say, like, we just
Speaker 1: kind of did it. Both of us for the most part.
Speaker 1: Have still had to go to work, not quite as frequently,
Speaker 1: but like every other week or so, so we've still
Speaker 1: had to travel a little bit. That's been a real
Speaker 1: pain is traveling in during all these times. But the
Speaker 1: thing that I will say that I love the most
Speaker 1: about Quarantine is the fact that we can exist as
Speaker 1: like this old married couple and just be so happy together.
Speaker 1: We wake up, we have coffee together, we go on
Speaker 1: by crimes, we make dinner together, we're watch our shows,
Speaker 1: and we watched Jeopardy and Will of Fortune every night
Speaker 1: and then by like you know, and it's like this
Speaker 1: new routine that we just kind of have together that
Speaker 1: I think I'll miss once Quarantine is completely over and
Speaker 1: basically just fast forward into the golden years of marriage.
Speaker 1: All things between stuff. We just skipped you're retired. You
Speaker 1: that's what it feels like. It's true though, I was.
Speaker 1: Once I got past the accepting stage of everything that
Speaker 1: was happening, it was I mean, knock on wood, everybody
Speaker 1: staying healthy. It was really nice because you got to
Speaker 1: stay home and spend quality time and like this amount
Speaker 1: of quality time with your significant other one, your significant other,
Speaker 1: your family, Like, I don't know if that's ever going
Speaker 1: to happen again. I agree, And I think it kind
Speaker 1: of allowed everybody to put things in perspective us as
Speaker 1: far as what's valuable to you in your life when
Speaker 1: when you don't have these options, these things just stress
Speaker 1: about or places to go, you kind of just simplify
Speaker 1: everything and it was sort of refreshing, be honest. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what's been your guys biggest like point of contention? So
Speaker 1: for Caitlin and me, the thing that I guess we
Speaker 1: argue quote unquote the most about is I played too
Speaker 1: much call of duty. You know, I played a couple
Speaker 1: of hours and called duty. He hates that. Do you
Speaker 1: guys have like a thing that you kind of get
Speaker 1: at each other, like like pester each other about I
Speaker 1: would say that, like he doesn't do the dishes and
Speaker 1: that drives me nuts. I hate when the sink is full,
Speaker 1: and so every night I'm like, don't mind me, I'm
Speaker 1: just over here emptying the dishwasher again, wait till I'm
Speaker 1: watching the show that I'm really into. No, I got it.
Speaker 1: That's very, very similar to how it is over here too.
Speaker 1: Like I said, I played Call of Duty, so I'll
Speaker 1: like started a new game of called Duty. And she'd
Speaker 1: be like, hey, can you can you help me take
Speaker 1: out the trash or do some dishes? And I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: I definitely can help you, but it's not the right
Speaker 1: time for me to come and help you. Rule yeah,
Speaker 1: get done when I you know, I have nothing else
Speaker 1: to do exactly. Um, I did want to ask a
Speaker 1: couple of questions before you. Guys, we don't want to
Speaker 1: take up too much of your time, but Matt, you
Speaker 1: brought up the fact that you you had been married
Speaker 1: once before, and you're divorced and you have three kids,
Speaker 1: and so I guess for the listeners out there who
Speaker 1: are going through similar situations, who are divorced and getting
Speaker 1: back into the dating field, do you have any advice
Speaker 1: maybe how long it took you to kind of deal
Speaker 1: with that part of your life and feel confident enough
Speaker 1: to move on. Uh. Well, I mean it's it's definitely
Speaker 1: been the hardest thing I've ever dealt with in my
Speaker 1: in my life, because I mean, you go from living
Speaker 1: a certain way and turning your entire life upside down,
Speaker 1: and relationships and you know, having to figure out make
Speaker 1: time now for my kids on certain you know, there's
Speaker 1: a million different variables in it. I would just say,
Speaker 1: hang on, it gets better. I was lucky enough, you know,
Speaker 1: the divorce was still it were still in the process
Speaker 1: of the divorce, living separately. But you know, as anyone
Speaker 1: has been through divorce realizes that stuff doesn't happen overnight.
Speaker 1: It's a process. Took me a year and a half
Speaker 1: to get everything finalized. Um and then of course all
Speaker 1: the stuff we talked about with her out of the gate,
Speaker 1: and I luckily I was able to find a partner
Speaker 1: who was willing to accept all of my headaches and
Speaker 1: all the nonsense I brought to the table, because there
Speaker 1: was plenty of it. I'm sure she would speak to
Speaker 1: it a lot better than I can, but yeah, just
Speaker 1: just hang on, man. And it wasn't like I was
Speaker 1: scared to death to just date again, because just the
Speaker 1: world so different. I got married like eleven years ago.
Speaker 1: I think the whole world and the dating seat people.
Speaker 1: I've never used a dating app. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't know that whole world at all. So I was
Speaker 1: like sort of intimidated. And luckily I didn't have to
Speaker 1: use any of that because I got to see her
Speaker 1: at work and just kind of get it the old
Speaker 1: fashioned way. Yes, so tell us a little bit about that.
Speaker 1: Kind of, like you said earlier, the genesis of your
Speaker 1: as a relationship, but you just through working together, got
Speaker 1: to know each other a little bit more and decided
Speaker 1: to kind of start dating or how did it work? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean we've known each other for years. But again,
Speaker 1: like obviously he was married, I was in a relationship
Speaker 1: and I was recently single, like woke up with my
Speaker 1: X a couple of years ago, and I was just
Speaker 1: kind of like doing my own thing, and like we
Speaker 1: just I don't know, I just started chatting and just
Speaker 1: just clicked. You know. It was like it was almost
Speaker 1: my accident thing. Yeah, you know what, I'm gonna ask
Speaker 1: her out. Yeah, just like, hey, the show's over, I'm
Speaker 1: not doing anything. You don't let's let's grab a drink,
Speaker 1: and it just kind of slowly snowballed into just just
Speaker 1: two beautiful people getting a drink together, and it's turned
Speaker 1: into this beautiful relationship as far as as far as
Speaker 1: anyone outside knows. Yeah, yeah, I do have one question
Speaker 1: before you guys go, because I have to ask this
Speaker 1: because you guys are both part of the w w E.
Speaker 1: What is the rock in Vince McMahon like in real life.
Speaker 1: I've actually never met the Rock before. I've never met him.
Speaker 1: Mr McMahon is a whole different story. I'll take I'll
Speaker 1: take the rock part of the question. The Rock to
Speaker 1: me is like seeing Santa Claus in real life. Oh god,
Speaker 1: he is just as he's ormous. He's huge, he's got
Speaker 1: muscles on top of muscles. His teeth are white as snow.
Speaker 1: He looks like he is in the movies. There's no
Speaker 1: like disconnect. I didn't know him in the days when
Speaker 1: he was wrestling. I've met him since. He comes back
Speaker 1: from time to time and it's like like watching a
Speaker 1: superhero walk in the room and he gat. I've only
Speaker 1: spoken to him briefly. He's always been very, very friendly,
Speaker 1: made time for anyone that wanted it, um, But there's
Speaker 1: something about that guy when I first met him that went,
Speaker 1: I went, I get it. I understand why he's like
Speaker 1: the biggest star in the world right because there's just
Speaker 1: something about him. I'm actually coincidentally, I'm actually wearing my
Speaker 1: rock total coincidence. Guys that did not play in this
Speaker 1: I promised you. But as far as Mr big Man goes,
Speaker 1: he's just like, it's so funny because you look at
Speaker 1: him and he just looks like he's like this businessman
Speaker 1: and he has his shipped together. It's just like businessman.
Speaker 1: But when you sit and talk to him, he's just
Speaker 1: like the nicest guy ever. And he's like so approachable
Speaker 1: and I've had so many conversations and I know you
Speaker 1: have two with him. He just like where you can
Speaker 1: talk to him. It was almost like your grandfather or something.
Speaker 1: You know. He's just like very wise and tells you
Speaker 1: like it is. And I don't know, it's just like
Speaker 1: when you take the time and talk to him, he's
Speaker 1: just really he's extremely intimidating, but once you get past
Speaker 1: that facade and he gets to know you a little
Speaker 1: bit and trust you, he's one of the best guys
Speaker 1: to know he's one of them. Yeah, I mean, I've
Speaker 1: been a wrestling fan for quite some time, and he
Speaker 1: is just a fascinating human being. He absolutely is, and
Speaker 1: it as close to any of us, as close to
Speaker 1: him as any of us ever really get. There's still
Speaker 1: like that little bit of extra, this mystery of what happens.
Speaker 1: He's got a mystique about him, you know, even at
Speaker 1: seventy four years old, something about him. It's just like
Speaker 1: he's truly larger than like he's already seventy four. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I think so. Yeah. Right, he's in better
Speaker 1: shape than anyone's. Right, he would kick everybody's ass um. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: Leah and Matt, thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 1: We can't tell you how much we appreciate it. We
Speaker 1: can't tell how excited we are for your brand new
Speaker 1: podcast Bear with us. The first Step episode is already out,
Speaker 1: so you can go to wherever you get your podcast,
Speaker 1: go listen to it. Now. You're gonna have a new
Speaker 1: episode up every single Thursday. So can you guys just
Speaker 1: give us a little tease of what some of the
Speaker 1: listeners can't expect. Man, it's kind of like we want
Speaker 1: the listeners to listen with their significant other. So it's like,
Speaker 1: if you have an issue or something that you might
Speaker 1: be having with your partner, you can listen to a podcast.
Speaker 1: Hopefully it'll break the ice and just kind of like
Speaker 1: we just go through the same stuff that every other
Speaker 1: couple does, but we just want to normalize it. You know.
Speaker 1: I don't think we're gonna solve anybody's problems, but we
Speaker 1: might help start the conversation. The genesis of this whole
Speaker 1: idea came from she and I having a meeting with
Speaker 1: an entertainment executive several months back, and right out of
Speaker 1: the gate, he asked, what are the three most important
Speaker 1: things to the two of you about your relationship? And
Speaker 1: I said honesty. She said communication, and there was about
Speaker 1: a three second pause and we both simultaneously said sex.
Speaker 1: So we were like, okay, we're on the same page.
Speaker 1: Everyone deals with those three things. You know, if we
Speaker 1: can help, awesome, if we can make you laugh even better,
Speaker 1: and uh, just don't blame us when things go wrong. Well, well,
Speaker 1: thank you again so much for joining us. Really appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Lee and Matt again. Check out their brand new podcast,
Speaker 1: Bear with Us. You can get it anywhere Podcasts are available.
Speaker 1: Thanks again, guys, Thank you appreciate welcome back to help
Speaker 1: by shuck it dating with Jaredine and Tory. I don't
Speaker 1: want to talking like that. Matt and Lee were cool. Huh,
Speaker 1: they were super nice. I like them a lot, super nice,
Speaker 1: nicest people I've ever met. Uh well, yeah, I guess
Speaker 1: via Skype they might be the nicest people we've ever met.
Speaker 1: But make sure you again you check out their brand
Speaker 1: new podcast, Bear with Us. First episode is already out,
Speaker 1: but we're going to transition to another fun game that
Speaker 1: Tori has set up for us. Isn't it funny that
Speaker 1: there were two guys and one girl in this podcast,
Speaker 1: and just like uh, like some sort of study group
Speaker 1: in college, it's the girl that's doing all the work.
Speaker 1: I know that's stereotyping, but like it's I feel I
Speaker 1: feel so bad port Tory, thank you, thank you for
Speaker 1: putting this this, uh this together for us. He first,
Speaker 1: bring the honesty, not poor Tori, because last time we
Speaker 1: played this game, there's articles being written about me about
Speaker 1: how I had a crush on Andy Dorfman. So great
Speaker 1: publicity loved it. Listen, I'm not opposed to the publicity,
Speaker 1: but it just as a kind of frustrating thing to
Speaker 1: see sometimes, How did that go? I mean I told
Speaker 1: her exactly what happened on the podcast right after we
Speaker 1: were done airing it, and so if she saw anything
Speaker 1: about it, it was already known information. So that's good.
Speaker 1: That's the most important thing. Well, let's see if we
Speaker 1: can get somebody else that you had a crush on,
Speaker 1: you know, get back on us weekly. Yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 1: Let's jump into it. This is our third and final
Speaker 1: teen party game, commonly known as ten Fingers or never
Speaker 1: have I ever? So I'm going to ask you boys
Speaker 1: questions and you have to answer yes or no. Never
Speaker 1: have I ever skinny dipped? Oh have? I don't think so.
Speaker 1: I don't think I have I have skinny dipped. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna lose this game so fast. I'm gonna lose
Speaker 1: this game literally in ten questions. Should think about a
Speaker 1: bet placed for who puts their ten fingers down faster.
Speaker 1: I literally just said I'm gonna put down ten fingers
Speaker 1: and ten questions. That's true. But I have I have
Speaker 1: been Yeah, I've skinny dipped. If Jared and includes significant others,
Speaker 1: right like you can skinny do Yeah? Okay, great. You
Speaker 1: can also just do it by yourself if you're out
Speaker 1: camping in the middle of nowhere and you're like, this
Speaker 1: looks fringing. Never have I ever cheated, like I said,
Speaker 1: ten for ten, Here we go, let's down. Jared is
Speaker 1: not down. Never have I ever gotten arrested. I mean,
Speaker 1: like Larry, we just tailoring questions to make me put
Speaker 1: fingers down. At this point, denis down. Jared is our angel.
Speaker 1: At nine fingers, I'm dominating. Never have I ever had
Speaker 1: a one night stand, like I mean, come on, yeah, Jared,
Speaker 1: I didn't. I thought you were going to keep one
Speaker 1: up on that one. Never have I ever gotten a tattoo.
Speaker 1: I gotta keep my finger up on that one. I know,
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. I'm down to five fingers already. Fingers down,
Speaker 1: Jared is at eight. Never have I ever had a
Speaker 1: body piercing, not including ear piercing. I have not done that. Surprisingly,
Speaker 1: I weirdly feel like Dean would have a nipple piercing?
Speaker 1: Am I the only one who feels like that's a thing.
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, I've thought about it a lot. I
Speaker 1: would do it. I think I've tried to getting my
Speaker 1: tongue pierced before when I was drunk, but I don't
Speaker 1: think I was able to find a piercer that was
Speaker 1: willing to do it. I feel like Dean could have
Speaker 1: a Prince Albert. Prince Albert, that sounds pretty sweet, I
Speaker 1: feel Yeah, I feel like you'd be open to it
Speaker 1: if you were drunk. You know what it is? Is
Speaker 1: that on your little Weemi? It's on? It's on? Dean Jr. Yeah,
Speaker 1: First of all, that was the most awkward way of
Speaker 1: describing a penis to me. The next how do you
Speaker 1: what is the We'll get into this maybe after What
Speaker 1: are the correct terms to use? There's it's There's a
Speaker 1: lot of ways to explain the men genitalia. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: baby talking. Let's start with that one, all right. Next question,
Speaker 1: Jared is currently at eight teen, is standing at five? Never?
Speaker 1: Have I ever had a threesome? Yeah? That we've had
Speaker 1: three some, that's awesome. Yes, I was in college. Okay,
Speaker 1: I was experimenting. Were you sober or intoxicated? I was
Speaker 1: so drunk so drunk? Does that even count? Was it overrated? Yes?
Speaker 1: I don't want to do all on this topic for
Speaker 1: too long, listening on to the next question. Never have
Speaker 1: I ever used a sex toy not including vibrators? Uh,
Speaker 1: I've used No, I've never never done that so far.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying on myself, Wow, that's you can use
Speaker 1: one on yourself, but also saying no vibrators like using
Speaker 1: that on another person, it has to be something different. Look,
Speaker 1: I've mentioned that I've been pretty vocal about this in
Speaker 1: the past. I'm a vanilla person when it comes to
Speaker 1: the whole sex thing. When you're that good in bed,
Speaker 1: you don't need anything else. That's with Dean saying I
Speaker 1: mean I didn't say it, but if Tori wants to
Speaker 1: go ahead and claim that for me, I'll take it.
Speaker 1: Never have I ever hooked up with someone from a
Speaker 1: dating app? Yeah? I mean, Dared is that six dinas
Speaker 1: at three? Never have I ever had sex in public?
Speaker 1: I mean, come on, Yeahed, was it a bathroom? Can
Speaker 1: I just know like the vicinity of it, because yeah, Dared,
Speaker 1: tell us about your public sex experience. Well, of course,
Speaker 1: when I came to mind, I put my finger down.
Speaker 1: It was I don't know how public. I don't know
Speaker 1: if this counts. It was at it was possibly at
Speaker 1: somebody else's house in abasement with people upstairs. Does that count? No,
Speaker 1: I would say no. Hold on, let me think then,
Speaker 1: let me think, angel Baby, put your finger back up.
Speaker 1: That doesn't count, angel Baby. Your widdle we we hasn't
Speaker 1: been out in public before. I'll put my finger up
Speaker 1: for right now, I can't think of anything. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've done it, and like a park up in the mountains.
Speaker 1: Hold on, we're counting parks, yeahs, beaches like beaches count?
Speaker 1: All right? Um, are you guys mile high members? Actually no,
Speaker 1: I'm not interesting with how much you guys fly. It
Speaker 1: doesn't sound that appealing. Yeah, just this The logistics of
Speaker 1: it seemed challenging, Like you're one supposed to go to
Speaker 1: the bathroom and then five minutes later the next one's
Speaker 1: supposed to come in. Do you leave together? Maybe if
Speaker 1: you like fly first class on Qatar where you have
Speaker 1: like your own little apartment room, probably worth it. But
Speaker 1: but yeah, untill now now, um, so let's hold up
Speaker 1: our fingers. Dean, you were at to Jared is at five.
Speaker 1: Never have I ever hooked up with a quote unquote
Speaker 1: fan also known as Instagram follower, also known as just
Speaker 1: the fan of the Bachelor. Ah, this is a gosh,
Speaker 1: this is a gray area. Just put one down, Jared
Speaker 1: just put his other one down. We are It's like, uh, well,
Speaker 1: I it's just a hook up. So it could be
Speaker 1: it could be underneath whatever you mean under that term too.
Speaker 1: But how did this come about? Because did somebody's side
Speaker 1: in your d M s? I partially want to know
Speaker 1: if I know somebody who's kind of like a cool kid,
Speaker 1: how do I how do I get your attention? I
Speaker 1: mean when I was single, Uh, sometimes I would check
Speaker 1: the d M s and if I thought a girl
Speaker 1: was pretty, I would sometimes respond to them. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know exactly what it was that I would catch
Speaker 1: my eye initially. But but I'm not I'm not saying
Speaker 1: I'm not a superhuman. Okay, I'm not immune to those
Speaker 1: types of things. Yeah, I don't find anything wrong with it.
Speaker 1: Wasting you know. Yeah, so Jared was your dance as well. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you know, no, what does that mean? What does
Speaker 1: that mean? We don't know. I mean we just talked
Speaker 1: about it, Dean. Dean articulated it perfectly. You know. Sometimes
Speaker 1: you just you know, you have a conversation online. Sometimes
Speaker 1: it leads to things, sometimes it doesn't. I think that
Speaker 1: this is very similar to the question I have I
Speaker 1: hooked up with someone from a dating app, because, as
Speaker 1: we've talked about in to Naja on this podcast, this
Speaker 1: Instagram is in and of itself a kind of a
Speaker 1: dating app. You know, I completely agree with you very
Speaker 1: similar experience dating app in in social media. Before we
Speaker 1: ask these next couple of questions, Tory may I interject. No, Okay,
Speaker 1: put your finger down. You know what you're gonna say.
Speaker 1: Put your finger down. If you have been to a
Speaker 1: Patriots game in New in New England at home, now,
Speaker 1: put your finger down. And if you have eaten dunkin
Speaker 1: Donuts more than twice in your lifetime, it's I've You've
Speaker 1: never had dunk on Donuts twice? Steen, No, put your
Speaker 1: finger down. I'm just trying to even it out a
Speaker 1: little bit. Yes, but I'm trying to my turn. Never
Speaker 1: have I ever been kicked out of a bar? I can't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've been kicked out of bars, plenty of bars. What
Speaker 1: if your friend got kicked out and you left with them? No, No,
Speaker 1: it's such a little angel. I don't think. I don't
Speaker 1: think I've personally ever been kicked off. I was such
Speaker 1: a head in college. I got kicked out of a
Speaker 1: bar like every weekend. I feel like and I like it.
Speaker 1: At the time, I didn't think I deserved it either.
Speaker 1: I was just I was a mess. I was a
Speaker 1: whole another person when I was nineteen years old, So
Speaker 1: I got kicked out of many many bars. Okay, one more,
Speaker 1: just for fun. Never have I ever given a fake
Speaker 1: phone number out. I've definitely done that too, but I'm
Speaker 1: not very good at that. So what I would start
Speaker 1: doing two people is if I was out at the
Speaker 1: bar and they asked for my phone number or something,
Speaker 1: I didn't want to give it to them. I would
Speaker 1: just be like, hey, just find me on Instagram and
Speaker 1: send me a message on Instagram because that way, it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, it goes to a separate folder. You can
Speaker 1: only approve it if you want to approve it. So
Speaker 1: that's what I would do. That's a good tip. Actually,
Speaker 1: I like that. Yeah. I mean there were times when
Speaker 1: people would like get angry at me for doing that
Speaker 1: because they thought that it was dishonest because obviously they
Speaker 1: knew that I wasn't gonna respond. But whatever it is,
Speaker 1: what it is, I mean, it's better than it would
Speaker 1: It would be better than rejecting them in their face
Speaker 1: in that moment, like no, don't reach out, don't even try.
Speaker 1: I would love to pick your guys brain on a
Speaker 1: question to follow up on this, but I just want
Speaker 1: to conclude on the scoring. Dean is completely out of
Speaker 1: the game. He's actually negative one with the fake number.
Speaker 1: Jared is left with technically four, but because of Dean's questions,
Speaker 1: he's at one because of the Patriots game and whatever.
Speaker 1: So still I enjoyed those questions, though, so do we
Speaker 1: have time to answer some emals? We do, But I
Speaker 1: have one follow up question for the ladies out there
Speaker 1: and want you guys are just saying. You said that
Speaker 1: it's a good technique to ask for Instagram instead of
Speaker 1: a number, or if somebody asks you your number, you
Speaker 1: get them their Instagram handle and you said d m them.
Speaker 1: Here's an experience I had on a dating app. I
Speaker 1: was using my friends and it's remember how I told
Speaker 1: you guys that I was setting crap on dates. A
Speaker 1: lot of the men goes from the dating app to
Speaker 1: Instagram d m NG. Why don't guys just say hey, like,
Speaker 1: do you guys understand the thought process? Why wouldn't they
Speaker 1: go from the dating app, which is pretty much Instagram
Speaker 1: to a phone number versus doing dating app to Instagram
Speaker 1: to maybe eventually a phone number. Ask, I have no idea.
Speaker 1: That sounds really weird to me. You would upgrade from
Speaker 1: a from a dating app to Instagram instead of a
Speaker 1: dating app to a phone number. Yeah, they'd be like, hey,
Speaker 1: what's your Instagram handle? And then like d m you?
Speaker 1: Maybe Instagram more than the app. Yeah, maybe they just
Speaker 1: wanted to see more pictures and then so they just
Speaker 1: started d m ing you on Instagram and staid, what
Speaker 1: makes sense? I guess. I mean that's my only logical
Speaker 1: conclusion to that one, because it would make no sense. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think that's like the next sequential step in dating apps,
Speaker 1: as you talk in the dating app, uh, instead of
Speaker 1: going straight to getting the phone number, Yeah, bridget with
Speaker 1: getting social media and talking on there. I think that's
Speaker 1: perfectly reasonable. Of course you do. Let's do an an email.
Speaker 1: Do you want to read it? Yeah? I would love
Speaker 1: to read it. I've been practicing my reading, so no
Speaker 1: better time to showcase it than right now. We have
Speaker 1: an email from a young woman named maybe Lene. She's
Speaker 1: say maybe she was born with it. She says Antoninier,
Speaker 1: and I've been single for a while. Recently I started
Speaker 1: talking to this guy and bumbling. We seem to connect
Speaker 1: and bonded over our dogs. We schedual date, but the
Speaker 1: following day, after asking for my I g handle funny enough,
Speaker 1: he deleted me from the bumble chat and also blocked
Speaker 1: me on Instagram. I honestly don't know what I did wrong.
Speaker 1: Why he would even go through the length of blocking me.
Speaker 1: Simply saying I don't want to meet should have been fine.
Speaker 1: The guy st he's six and he should be mature enough.
Speaker 1: What happened? I feel like we've answered this one before.
Speaker 1: If not, we've answered a very similar one before. It
Speaker 1: probably happens a lot. Yeah, what do you guys think?
Speaker 1: I mean, did he just start dating someone and he
Speaker 1: didn't know how to tell her that, or was he
Speaker 1: like maybe he rekindled things with his ex and so
Speaker 1: he just like blocked everybody he was talking to on
Speaker 1: these dating apps in a day. Though, I don't know
Speaker 1: that's a little sussed. I just think this guy kind
Speaker 1: of sucks. He definitely maybe he's hooked up with like
Speaker 1: one of her friends and then figured out they have
Speaker 1: like some weird connection. And then was like, oh crap.
Speaker 1: I mean he figured out something. He's either dating someone
Speaker 1: got back together with his ex, or yeah, like Tori said,
Speaker 1: like somehow put the dots together to figure out he
Speaker 1: he knew who maybe Lean was, and maybe maybe Lean
Speaker 1: knows who he was, and so instead of confronting Night,
Speaker 1: he just blocked her. Yeah. I mean, no matter what,
Speaker 1: he should be mature enough to say, hey, I'm actually
Speaker 1: you know, going off this app I guess. But actually
Speaker 1: he doesn't really owe her anything if you think about it,
Speaker 1: because they've only really been like hey, talking for a bit,
Speaker 1: and then they scheduled a date, didn't even go on
Speaker 1: the date, so he can technically leave and not have
Speaker 1: to be a big deal. That's true. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just still think it's it's a shitty thing to do.
Speaker 1: It's like, where is the courtesy nowadays? You know what
Speaker 1: I mean? This stuff wouldn't fly back in the in
Speaker 1: the rarer and ror in twenties. What was it? So
Speaker 1: why are we letting it fly now? Um? I just
Speaker 1: think that she should. I mean, it sucks because it's like,
Speaker 1: obviously she's upset about it, but at the same time,
Speaker 1: it's like you shouldn't really lose any sleep over it,
Speaker 1: because yeah, who cares, it's only one guy totally, maybe, Illian,
Speaker 1: there's tons of guy in dating apps, and plus, from
Speaker 1: the sound of it, you had you guys had not
Speaker 1: met yet, So don't loose sleep over. Like Dean said,
Speaker 1: you'll be fine. True. It's better than going to the
Speaker 1: dog park meeting, having a great conversation, getting the dogs
Speaker 1: all introduced to each other, and then having happened. So
Speaker 1: might as well just get it over with early. The
Speaker 1: guy's thirty six too, Yeah, you would think that he
Speaker 1: he would have been more mature weird anyway, So this
Speaker 1: email is for Madison, she writes, as a longtime listener
Speaker 1: of the podcast I heard I have her Dean changing
Speaker 1: in the way he views and acts in relationships. He
Speaker 1: claims to have a problem saying I love you in
Speaker 1: other words of affirmation, So do I, but says it
Speaker 1: all the time to friends. Why is it harder to
Speaker 1: say to someone you are in a relationship with that
Speaker 1: you love them? Also? He said Frina Dean, I love
Speaker 1: you to Leslie on the World Tell All. After only
Speaker 1: dating for a few months, but after dating Calin for
Speaker 1: about the same amount of time, he said on Nick's
Speaker 1: podcast that he did not love her. It seems like
Speaker 1: the only person Dean has trouble saying that he loves
Speaker 1: is to Caitlin. Is this a red flag? If you
Speaker 1: have not fallen in love in a certain amount of time,
Speaker 1: should you end the relationship? Dean? I'm sorry I didn't
Speaker 1: read the email beforehand, so maybe that's why you want
Speaker 1: to end the podcast. Uh, this is a great conversation topic. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't know what I'm ting to you. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: it's all you do. Do you think it's a red flag?
Speaker 1: What do you think? I don't think it's a red flag.
Speaker 1: I don't I don't think i've noticed this. Do you
Speaker 1: think this is a fair assessment? Um? Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: I don't think there's really any fallacies present in the
Speaker 1: in the statement or the email, so I can't say
Speaker 1: that it's wrong. I'd actually think it's an opposite of
Speaker 1: a red flag, because it seems like you can you're
Speaker 1: able to say I love you two people. Maybe you're
Speaker 1: not as in love with as you. I don't know,
Speaker 1: maybe not. No, I see where you're coming from. That
Speaker 1: makes sense. I think there's a send favalidity to that
Speaker 1: that you were getting to So maybe you were scared.
Speaker 1: Maybe you were scared of your feelings towards Kalin and
Speaker 1: you were afraid to admit it because you loved her
Speaker 1: so much and it was scaring the daddy. That's what
Speaker 1: I'd like to think. Just beautiful, truly, truly beautiful. Um, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think I just got a complicated
Speaker 1: relationship with that word. I've I've I think I associate
Speaker 1: that word with like toxicity and unpleasantness, just through my
Speaker 1: childhood relationships in high school, college and thereafter, and so
Speaker 1: I just think I've got like kind of a negative
Speaker 1: association with it. And so it's, uh, you know, I
Speaker 1: can say it's my friends pretty easily because I do
Speaker 1: love them, but I think when it comes to my partner,
Speaker 1: it's a little bit more challenging just because of the
Speaker 1: experiences that I've had with it. And yeah, we'd let's
Speaker 1: talk about the Leslie thing for a minute. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: said it to her at the World to Tell All
Speaker 1: a few days after she had told it to me
Speaker 1: for the first time. And I think in that case
Speaker 1: not to like reopen old wounds or anything like that,
Speaker 1: but I think I was saying it to maybe try
Speaker 1: to convince myself that that's how I felt. And I
Speaker 1: thought that by saying I would be able to get
Speaker 1: myself there emotionally, but in reality to be the way around,
Speaker 1: obviously you should emotionally be there and then you should
Speaker 1: express it verbally. Uh. And that was, in my opinion,
Speaker 1: that's how I think that whole situation unfolded. Uh. This
Speaker 1: current one is a little bit different. I'm just being
Speaker 1: a little bit more conscientious of conscientious of uh the
Speaker 1: verbiage that I'm using, and being confident in the way
Speaker 1: that I feel before I do anything like that. So
Speaker 1: I think, just as I'm getting older, I'm I'm not
Speaker 1: being as uh what's the word that I'm looking for.
Speaker 1: I'm not being as what's the word where you just
Speaker 1: act impulsive, I'm not being as impulsive as as I
Speaker 1: get older, I'm being less and less impulsive, or at
Speaker 1: least trying to consciously be less and less impulsive. I
Speaker 1: think that's a great thing. You think before you say things.
Speaker 1: That's a good quality to have sometimes. I I agree
Speaker 1: with that the email as well. It's for some reason
Speaker 1: difficult to tell the people that you care most about
Speaker 1: that you love them. I don't know. Sometimes I find
Speaker 1: that is. I also think it depends on the relationship.
Speaker 1: As I've gotten older, Um, Like with my with my parents,
Speaker 1: for some reason, I have a difficult like not a
Speaker 1: difficult time, but like an awkward time telling them that
Speaker 1: I love them. And I think that's just kind of
Speaker 1: like the relationship that I have with them. It's not
Speaker 1: it's it's a wonderful relationship and I love them more
Speaker 1: than anything and I'm beyond lucky. But it was just, uh,
Speaker 1: I think, like, you know, coming from a you know,
Speaker 1: a family, a dad who's like a little bit more reserved,
Speaker 1: kind of old school. Um, I think for a while,
Speaker 1: it kind of took me a time to be like
Speaker 1: I love you, you know. I felt like Will Ferrell
Speaker 1: and Elf, you know, like I love you, I love you,
Speaker 1: I love you. There's a lot of shooth that though.
Speaker 1: Even um So, when I got my skydiving license last
Speaker 1: beginning of last year, whenever I got out, I remember
Speaker 1: I had the day the day before I started jumping solo,
Speaker 1: I sent like this big long email to my brothers uh,
Speaker 1: and I was like basically like just bearing my soul,
Speaker 1: like this is how I felt when I was a
Speaker 1: child and how you did all these things when I
Speaker 1: was growing up and I want you to know that
Speaker 1: I love you more than anything, and blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: Send it to them via email at like midnight the
Speaker 1: day before. Uh. And it's been a year and a half,
Speaker 1: maybe two years since I sent that email. I haven't
Speaker 1: just got sit with them at all since, like, like
Speaker 1: you know, I like I made it clear how I
Speaker 1: feel about them and how I appreciate them and respect
Speaker 1: them on all these things, and we haven't even addressed
Speaker 1: it as as as have ever happening. So I think
Speaker 1: that's just kind of how guys are sometimes, you know.
Speaker 1: It's like we can have our moments where we want
Speaker 1: to share our feelings and then uh, we just don't
Speaker 1: really ever really talk about it again. We just yeah,
Speaker 1: we forget it ever happened. It's like all right, cool,
Speaker 1: thanks anyway, let's move on to the next thing. Let's
Speaker 1: talk sports. Yeah, so I don't know, guys are weird anyways. Uh,
Speaker 1: thank you to our emailers, maybe Leene, and big thank
Speaker 1: you to Madison as well for asking that question. I
Speaker 1: hope that helped clear some things up for you. I
Speaker 1: still am uncertain with a lot of things myself. But
Speaker 1: of course, big thank you to Matt and Leah for
Speaker 1: calling in and sharing a little bit more about their relationship.
Speaker 1: If you want to hear more, uh, be sure to
Speaker 1: check out their brand new podcast called Bear with Us.
Speaker 1: You can find it wherever you're listening to this podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you can just search over and find it
Speaker 1: there as well. Um. Big thank you to Kalen for
Speaker 1: celebrating her birthday with me this year. It's a good one.
Speaker 1: Hopefully she hopefully she appreciates your gifts that I got her.
Speaker 1: What else shared? What else do you want to what
Speaker 1: else you want to be thankful for? Shout out to Ashley,
Speaker 1: you know, for being my wife. That's always a cool thing. Uh.
Speaker 1: And so shout out to Tori uh for being the
Speaker 1: backbone of this podcast. And shout out to all the
Speaker 1: listeners because without you guys, there would be no podcast.
Speaker 1: And uh, we love doing this and so we appreciate
Speaker 1: every single one of you guys. So thank you. Keep
Speaker 1: sending in emails, keep following us, keep demning us. Um,
Speaker 1: we'd love to keep the conversation going. Heck, yeah, I
Speaker 1: love you all. Big thank you to everyone. Be sure
Speaker 1: to tune in next week, where maybe we will suck
Speaker 1: just a little bit less. Follow help by Suck at
Speaker 1: Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to
Speaker 1: podcast