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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcast

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Speaker 1: firm Hi Elvis Presents fifteen Minute Morning Show. Hi everybody, Hello?

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Speaker 1: Do I sound hungover? Now you do? Oh my god?

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Speaker 1: You were drunk when you got here, but now you're

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Speaker 1: started in the hangover process. I think now, I don't

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Speaker 1: think I was drunk anymore. I think I was just

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Speaker 1: very tired and hungover and I fell and yeah, Cavalcado.

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Speaker 1: I learned that if you wake up during the wrong

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Speaker 1: part of your sleep cycle, it's like you get hit

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Speaker 1: with a ton of bricks. Like you, So you're supposed

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Speaker 1: to wake up at a certain point of your sleep

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Speaker 1: cycle where it's like you feeling I'm sleep splaining. I am,

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Speaker 1: but it's a truth. Yeah. So did you get hit

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Speaker 1: with a ton of bricks? Did you know? Yeah? Well

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Speaker 1: I didn't. I somehow managed to leave a wake up?

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Speaker 1: Do you guys still leave wake up calls at the

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Speaker 1: front desk when you stay in a hotel when they call,

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Speaker 1: who the fun is calling me? Right now? How dare you? Oh?

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Speaker 1: You forgot you left it? Yeah? I don't want it.

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Speaker 1: Don't don't call me. It's kind of like the phone

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Speaker 1: rang and I'm like, what the fuck is had no

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Speaker 1: clue what was I didn't didn't know where I was

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Speaker 1: because I was drunk and in a strange place. Like,

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Speaker 1: what the is the phone ring? I don't own a phone. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then I pick it up and it's the robotic voice.

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Speaker 1: This is the wake up call. You just go. I'm like, oh, funk,

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Speaker 1: I gotta werson Yeah, not even a person. I'm like, fun. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: who's got something to talk about? I mean, I don't

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Speaker 1: think we're allowed to talk about what we all wanted? Okay,

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Speaker 1: well what if we don't call it? That is anyone

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Speaker 1: else's zoom room? Completely frozen? Just your just yours? This

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Speaker 1: is yours. I think that's a restart there. Oh and

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Speaker 1: I froze in a terrible way. Took a street shot,

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Speaker 1: draw things on our face, yes, put a capturing a

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Speaker 1: balloon of what she's saying. So anyway, the what I

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Speaker 1: will sum up what we wanted to talk about with

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Speaker 1: is don't gamble on a fart after you've been drinking

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Speaker 1: all night. Right, it's as clean as we could put it.

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Speaker 1: That's kind of where it started. But then it turned

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Speaker 1: to how many times a year? That actually is kind

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Speaker 1: of interesting. Okay, okay, Gandy post the question, Danielle, how

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Speaker 1: many times a year as an adult, is it permissible

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Speaker 1: to ship your pace less than one? Okay? I have

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Speaker 1: I have these two friends shout out to carry Taylor,

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Speaker 1: and we were having this conversation and I said, I

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Speaker 1: kind of thought as an adult, the amount of times

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Speaker 1: it was acceptable to do that is potentially once a decade.

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Speaker 1: They said, no, three times a year. No, thank you.

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Speaker 1: I understand if you have a a cool condition, yeah,

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Speaker 1: like a stomach flu or a couple of other things,

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Speaker 1: you know, or if you eat go to a restaurant

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Speaker 1: and you eat something and it's like food poisoning or

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Speaker 1: something doesn't agree with you, it can happen. It happens

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Speaker 1: three times a years a lot. I think that's a

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Speaker 1: lot of times. They swore that it is absolutely acceptable

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Speaker 1: three times a years. Okay. And I'm telling you because

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Speaker 1: them these who are like hot chicks, super hot, just

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Speaker 1: out there crap of themselves, they're the least likely to

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Speaker 1: crap in my mind, they're not down, super hot chick herself. Okay,

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Speaker 1: we can't talk about this topic. That's her hotness. Decline

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Speaker 1: does not alright, everybody stop, does not go down. Of course,

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Speaker 1: that does you're in you're in a swimming pool with

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Speaker 1: a hot girl. Can not when we're out. We always

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Speaker 1: talked about it, and then we're like, don't cross the line.

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Speaker 1: We're just gonna be we're done. I'll tell you this.

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Speaker 1: We can't be done with the podcast because I don't

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Speaker 1: know if anybody saw it. I know Scotty Bee responded yesterday,

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Speaker 1: there is somebody who's listening to the podcast. His name

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Speaker 1: is Justin. Here's a spreadsheet of how many minutes we've

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Speaker 1: done every day. I challenge what's this person's name, Justin? Justin? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I challenge this Justin if he's got such a long

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Speaker 1: spreadsheet of all the times we've been doing the podcast

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Speaker 1: to actually end up all the time we've done the

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Speaker 1: podcast for all the dates, and you will see that

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Speaker 1: the times that we went over the fifteen minutes far

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Speaker 1: outway the time. Don't say that scared that way. Don't

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Speaker 1: average it out scary if we if we if we

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Speaker 1: add four minutes a week, we cut back twenty like

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Speaker 1: you're doing the math wrong. Okay, I'll say this. Most

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Speaker 1: of them are are are on time. Except for January seven,

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Speaker 1: we did a four minute and fifteen second podcast. Okay,

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Speaker 1: but foggy, how many times did we do like eighteen

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Speaker 1: three minute there are here, There are your school? If

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Speaker 1: you got a zero, zero is terrible. It can bring

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Speaker 1: down your entire average. If you get a bunch of a's,

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Speaker 1: you get one zero, it will suck you up. We

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Speaker 1: have tossed in a couple zeros a few times. You've

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Speaker 1: talked more zeros than anything else. When somebody says something

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Speaker 1: that you can't air and then we don't post a podcast, okay,

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Speaker 1: can we go back to this justin fellow? Why is

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Speaker 1: he narking on us like snitch? Seriously? We appreciate that

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Speaker 1: your fans compliment Narco. It's nice, it's nicety. It's nice

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Speaker 1: that he's a fan. I like that part, but I

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Speaker 1: just don't like the You know, maybe what we should

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Speaker 1: do is change the name from the fifteen minutes show

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Speaker 1: to the after show podcast, and then you can't host

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Speaker 1: kind of your origin of the fifteen minute morning show. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: how long we feel like talking today? Podcast? You're done?

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Speaker 1: When you finished? Originally when we put it together, it

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Speaker 1: was well, if we'd say it's fifteen minutes, we know

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Speaker 1: we won't go over that right because the initial thought was,

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Speaker 1: we will just keep talking how wrong we were? We

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Speaker 1: were there just joined. Yeah, we have a listener now

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Speaker 1: who actually has a spreadsheet of the length of times

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Speaker 1: for our last podcasts, and we are grossly under what

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Speaker 1: do you that's just His name is Justin, Justin get alive.

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Speaker 1: We love you, Justin, Thanks for caring. Hey, so what

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Speaker 1: are we doing on the podcast? Well, we had a

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Speaker 1: quick interlude of crapping ourselves. Let's okay, you're dating a

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Speaker 1: guy and he's super hot, so hot? Would you find

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Speaker 1: out he shit himself? Does his hotness go down on

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Speaker 1: your No, it didn't, because that really happened. Know when

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Speaker 1: I first started idled you to keep that between you.

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Speaker 1: When I first started dating Alex, I took him to

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Speaker 1: Santa Fe. He was not ready for the hot, hot,

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Speaker 1: spicy food, and he crapped himself. He gambled on a

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Speaker 1: fart and he did so. He said, I'm gonna go

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Speaker 1: take a shower. What it's like noon? Why are you

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Speaker 1: taking another shower? So? I just feel dirty? So he

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Speaker 1: snow and took it. He took a shower. Now, how

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Speaker 1: many The actual question that started the podcast was how

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Speaker 1: many times a year is it acceptable for the average

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Speaker 1: adult to crap themselves a little bit or a lot.

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Speaker 1: Answer that question be could you do it? Nate? We

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Speaker 1: a minute? Can I just clarify almost zero, it's not

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Speaker 1: acceptable as your own adult to crap your pants. I

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Speaker 1: bet you, I bet you. Diamond would say something different. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think more people do it a year than we

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Speaker 1: we think about. Because my two friends said their answer

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Speaker 1: was three times a year. I thought maybe once a

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Speaker 1: decade if the stomach flu was involved. They said, no,

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Speaker 1: three times a year. It's definitely like charting that count

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Speaker 1: ye in the bathroom for like two hours. How many

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Speaker 1: times do you put yourself per year? I don't poop myself.

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Speaker 1: I plan accordingly, you love, it's acceptable to poop yourself

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Speaker 1: more than I don't think it's okay. I really don't.

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Speaker 1: I think that you know when something is a little fishy.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes Sam herselfish week, but Sam was inebriated. She was inebriated.

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Speaker 1: That doesn't count. How many times per year? It still counts? Counts.

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Speaker 1: How many times per year is it acceptable to poo yourself? Oh,

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Speaker 1: you've got an average out once every few years. We're

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Speaker 1: not going year to five. I've only done it once ever,

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Speaker 1: I was really sick and two years ago. That's the case.

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Speaker 1: I'm done for the year. Then yesterday I hit the quota.

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Speaker 1: I hit it in February, so I'm done now. Yesterday

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Speaker 1: somebody I won't say who gave Scotty an atomic We

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Speaker 1: do don't make you poop your pants. No, they don't

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Speaker 1: believe you, Agie. Who gave you a wedgie? You did?

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Speaker 1: Who was that? I'll kill them? Oh it was me,

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Speaker 1: I least boyfriend. What do you wants? And he goes,

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Speaker 1: why did you do that? Now I have to go

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Speaker 1: take a shower. I don't even know what that means

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Speaker 1: or why he said he had to go take a show.

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Speaker 1: But not at the shower. Kids up there. I got

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Speaker 1: to go home. Bye, good bye. Yeah, yeah, there's some

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Speaker 1: one on my couch. It's okay. I last pooed myself

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Speaker 1: in gambled on a part. That's why do you today?

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Speaker 1: You went to the bathroom. You rember new sports apps

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Speaker 1: to gamble on a part. I don't. I don't think

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Speaker 1: that's on draftie. Remember the year you last craft your pants?

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Speaker 1: It was the year before I met what Heather, and

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Speaker 1: I was sad. I almost did. I'm a little dark

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Speaker 1: who was before I met Heather. And I was on

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Speaker 1: a date with a girl and we went to breakfast,

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Speaker 1: and now she's dead. Uh. It went to breakfast and

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Speaker 1: I wanted to go to the bathroom in the restaurant,

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Speaker 1: but it was right next to the table. And it

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Speaker 1: was one of those bathrooms that's like literally just the

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Speaker 1: toilet and it was right next to the table. So

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Speaker 1: I'm like, horrible, She's going to hear everything. Yeah, So

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Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, we'll just end the date. I give

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Speaker 1: her a hug outside she walks one way. I finally

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Speaker 1: am able to let a fart out, and boy did

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Speaker 1: I lose big time. Yeah, and I haven't met your wife,

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Speaker 1: and I met my wife. I haven't crapped myself since

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Speaker 1: I need a woman that I can make poop noises

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Speaker 1: around them and she won't judge me. Wait a minute,

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Speaker 1: you didn't crap yourself recently when you were ill, because

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Speaker 1: I you were asking me if Brandon crapped himself over something,

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Speaker 1: because you were like, yeah, it made me crrep myself.

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Speaker 1: And you know what, Scotty and I had the food poisoning,

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Speaker 1: I almost poop that's when I did, yeah, you know,

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Speaker 1: and he went back on this again. I thought I

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Speaker 1: thought would move on from That's where I learned never

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Speaker 1: trust a fart, because that's what I thought it was.

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Speaker 1: You get such a great job of cleaning it up

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Speaker 1: and moving it away from this topic. Circled the drains

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Speaker 1: that wasn't in a drain, that was in the bed.

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Speaker 1: Lost one pair of underwear of my entire life, so

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Speaker 1: when you were a baby, lost lots of Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: that doesn't count. That's expected. Yeah. Never when when your

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Speaker 1: kids parents understand this, or your kid has a major blowout,

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Speaker 1: you just take the kid, threw it away, right you

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Speaker 1: You put them underneath to in the bathtub, and you

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Speaker 1: don't even try really turn it on. And here you go.

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Speaker 1: Scary if one of your cousins shot at themselves, would

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Speaker 1: you break up with them? So like when a blowout

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Speaker 1: it's so bad, doesn't it come out the back everywhere?

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Speaker 1: From the kids? They wipe it on the wall. I

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Speaker 1: don't miss. That is like less incentive you want to

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Speaker 1: clean off of their back. Positive still outweighs the negatives.

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Speaker 1: When you got to clean the spokes of the crib,

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Speaker 1: it's close, it's close, spokes of the crib. The never Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because they turn around and then they wipe it on

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Speaker 1: that My mom said, I used to do. You said,

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Speaker 1: this is so disgusting. She said she walked in once

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Speaker 1: when I was a baby and I had they were

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Speaker 1: brown on the walls. She goes, what did you do?

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Speaker 1: I apparently stuck my hand in my diaper and smeared

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Speaker 1: it all. You're like, you know when you when you

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Speaker 1: are at the grossest level of this podcast we've ever been.

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Speaker 1: A perfect text has arrived. So this person just writes

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Speaker 1: and this is area CO two oh three. You guys

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Speaker 1: just winging at time, winging at times, and it's okay.

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Speaker 1: I love it when you go off schedule and play

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Speaker 1: songs they're talking about the big show. It makes my

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Speaker 1: day when you play the songs of yesterday. As far

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Speaker 1: as the fifteen minute morning show goes, if it's ten minutes,

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Speaker 1: so what it's like, you guys said, it's a bonus.

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Speaker 1: I'd rather have nine minutes and three seconds than nothing

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Speaker 1: at all. Keep doing what you're doing, don't change. Listening

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Speaker 1: daily from the antenna the size of a finger, as

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Speaker 1: Elvis says on the top of the Empire State Building

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Speaker 1: to my Clock radio in Shelton, Connecticut, your one hundred

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Speaker 1: fan ray gay Lord. Have a great day, my wife, kids,

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Speaker 1: and I love you all. Thank you. Yes, let's share

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Speaker 1: for minutes. I'll major props, major props for gay ray Lord.

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Speaker 1: Yes where we are. That's not what the people on

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Speaker 1: the Facebook fan group say they want fifteen minutes. I

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Speaker 1: think it's you at the end of the day, You're

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Speaker 1: very want By the way, I would like to point

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Speaker 1: out that the average Brooklyn Boys episode, it's like an

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Speaker 1: hour and a halfs in this page, you're talking about

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Speaker 1: their listeners on text at say the opposite, so it

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Speaker 1: all evens itself out. By the way, here, he's not

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Speaker 1: yelling at you. That's how he speaks. I'm just people

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Speaker 1: think I'm killing at them. He's going to say something. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I'm just I'm just giving them a voice because they

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Speaker 1: don't have one, so I'm being their voice. Mouth Peace

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Speaker 1: Goody is afraid of the face but people, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm not afraid of them. I'm just trying to You know,

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Speaker 1: we gave you the opportunity yesterday to fill out the

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Speaker 1: fifteen minutes and you failed. If you think about it,

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Speaker 1: Facebook is face less because you're not in front of you.

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Speaker 1: I get it. But like the Texters, I think I

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Speaker 1: think what we're saying is that we should just not

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Speaker 1: promise fifteen minutes. Maybe we should just call it the

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Speaker 1: aftershow Morning show podcast. How about Justin gonna write down

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Speaker 1: on his log free what's he gonna write down today? Well,

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Speaker 1: if we talk for another minute, we will. We will

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Speaker 1: make Justin happy and he'll get did all the times?

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Speaker 1: Has a guy that did all the times? Okay, wait,

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Speaker 1: this is scary. Hates when I do this, but sometimes

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Speaker 1: my computer freezes, as it has a couple of times today,

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Speaker 1: and this is how it just froze on scary well

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Speaker 1: screen that is okay, give that to Deanna. So from

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Speaker 1: now on, when the podcast is short, you'll put that

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Speaker 1: picture up for the remainder of the time. How use

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Speaker 1: photo shop and make sure you screenshot. It was eleven

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Speaker 1: eleven minutes of podcast, four minutes of that pure birthday

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Speaker 1: post for you love it, Happy birthday, Scary and we're done. No,

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Speaker 1: we're not. No, you've got another ten seconds lefty six

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Speaker 1: by stop to stop too? Why come over come here?

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Speaker 1: We owe them more? Okay, you keep going scotty. Everybody

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Speaker 1: else seeing bye bye. The fifteen minute Morning Show