1 00:00:01,480 --> 00:00:04,160 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if 2 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:07,520 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, 3 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:12,480 Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com. 4 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:16,040 Speaker 1: And you never know. Just click that button where it 5 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:19,080 Speaker 1: says submit Strawberry letter, and you never know. Like I said, 6 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:22,239 Speaker 1: we could be reading your letter live on the air, 7 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,759 Speaker 1: like we're gonna read this one right here, right now, 8 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 1: And you really never know, because this letter right here 9 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:30,400 Speaker 1: could be yours. That's right, Shirley. In the words of 10 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:32,480 Speaker 1: Tommy Buckle up, hold on type we got it fight 11 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 1: it is strawberry little thank you, junior. Subject. I have 12 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:41,519 Speaker 1: fake royalty living with me, okay, Dear Stephen, Shirley. I 13 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:44,519 Speaker 1: met my husband on a dating site and we dated 14 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:47,680 Speaker 1: for eight months, got married, and we bought a house 15 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: right after our wedding. He's thirty nine and I'm thirty 16 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 1: six years old. We had talked about having children, but 17 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:58,319 Speaker 1: then his father moved into our home and we've been 18 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,840 Speaker 1: too busy trying to meet his demands. I married an 19 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:04,840 Speaker 1: African man and his father lives with us because he 20 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 1: is going through his fourth divorce. I see why he 21 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:13,600 Speaker 1: can't keep a wife. His ex wife says he has 22 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:17,000 Speaker 1: too many rules. He has special sheets that have to 23 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 1: be washing a certain detergent and hung out to air dry. 24 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:22,800 Speaker 1: I have to leave Sundays open for him to do 25 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 1: his laundry. I have to buy a high end bottled 26 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,920 Speaker 1: water in glass bottles, and he will only drink out 27 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:32,479 Speaker 1: of my crystal glasses that were a wedding gift. There 28 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 1: are so many stupid rules, and my husband allows his 29 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:39,480 Speaker 1: father to live out his Coming to America fantasy like 30 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:43,039 Speaker 1: he's a king. He's just an old, crazy man that 31 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:46,039 Speaker 1: can't keep a woman. To me, I am sharing a 32 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:49,240 Speaker 1: car with him, and he detests it because it doesn't 33 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:52,920 Speaker 1: have the new car smells. It's a twenty seven twenty 34 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:57,040 Speaker 1: seventeen Toyota, so it smells like one. The biggest hell 35 00:01:57,160 --> 00:02:00,480 Speaker 1: known moment for me was when he had a female 36 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:02,920 Speaker 1: visitor at our house and he told my husband and 37 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 1: I to stay in our bedroom until he called us. 38 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,240 Speaker 1: He treated my husband like he was a servant in 39 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:11,160 Speaker 1: his own house. I refuse to play the part of 40 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,360 Speaker 1: the maid, so I stayed in the back when he 41 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:16,560 Speaker 1: called for me. I don't have any time for games 42 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:19,240 Speaker 1: with this man. My husband wants to please him. But 43 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:23,400 Speaker 1: this is ridiculous. What's worse is his dad doesn't contribute 44 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:26,160 Speaker 1: any money. He's just using us until he meets and 45 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:29,280 Speaker 1: marries his next wife. How do I get this fake 46 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:34,960 Speaker 1: African king out of my home immediately? Please help? Well, 47 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 1: unless your husband stands up to his father, that's not 48 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,600 Speaker 1: going to happen. And I mean, I gotta say, your 49 00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:44,119 Speaker 1: husband really needs to grow a pair. I mean, for real, 50 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,200 Speaker 1: this is his house and his father, the king of Zamunda, 51 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 1: is out of order. He's just wrong about this. Your 52 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:55,480 Speaker 1: grown husband won't stand up to him, though, because it 53 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 1: sounds like he's too scared. Have you told your husband 54 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:01,560 Speaker 1: how you feel? There wasn't any mention of that in 55 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:06,560 Speaker 1: the letter. Neither your husband or his dad are considering 56 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:10,280 Speaker 1: your feelings. So why can't your husband just share his 57 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 1: car with his dad instead of making you share yours? 58 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:16,440 Speaker 1: That's a question I have, and you know, and I 59 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:19,720 Speaker 1: know it's a cultural thing, but using people and taking 60 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:24,080 Speaker 1: advantage of them is the same all around the world. 61 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,200 Speaker 1: I don't care where you go, it's the same thing. 62 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,639 Speaker 1: A user is a user. I'm sure you wouldn't mind 63 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:32,080 Speaker 1: so much of his dad wasn't so demanding if he 64 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:36,480 Speaker 1: was a nice person and all of that, but you 65 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:39,000 Speaker 1: know he's demanding and it's a turn off to you. 66 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 1: So I gotta ask you, is there another sibling or 67 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:45,440 Speaker 1: another relative somewhere that his dad can stay with to 68 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:49,520 Speaker 1: share some of this load, take some of this burden 69 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,560 Speaker 1: off you guys. If so, I suggest you guys call 70 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:54,840 Speaker 1: them and work out a visit from dad with them. 71 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,120 Speaker 1: I mean, it's just nothing like someone taking over control 72 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:02,040 Speaker 1: of your house that you pay or you said he 73 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:05,880 Speaker 1: contributes nothing financially, right, Well, I think you should also 74 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:08,520 Speaker 1: be concerned because of that that he may never leave 75 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:12,120 Speaker 1: because he has no money. So you need to start 76 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:16,280 Speaker 1: thinking about moving forward with the exit plan now because 77 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 1: the dad has gotten way too comfortable. Steve, Well, I 78 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 1: don't know who I'm about to feel with this response, 79 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:27,920 Speaker 1: So let me just start with apologizing to anybody might 80 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:31,239 Speaker 1: be from this culture that I don't understand. Now, listen 81 00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:33,720 Speaker 1: to me, this isn't about him being African or not, 82 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:39,760 Speaker 1: because I'm African American, so I relate. Secondly, I'm not 83 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:43,120 Speaker 1: really sure this has anything to do with him being African. 84 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:47,920 Speaker 1: I think this has more to do with him having, 85 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:52,159 Speaker 1: you know, manipulated his way through life with women and 86 00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:56,720 Speaker 1: controlled his son by forcing his son to respect him 87 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,760 Speaker 1: and in every aspect of life, which is a good thing, 88 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 1: or a a son to respect his father. But when he's 89 00:05:03,839 --> 00:05:06,520 Speaker 1: going to this level that you all are taking into 90 00:05:07,279 --> 00:05:11,760 Speaker 1: its manipulation and he uses women and he thinks he's 91 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,520 Speaker 1: This guy's real problem is he think he more than 92 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:20,159 Speaker 1: he really is, and he's convinced other people to treat 93 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,600 Speaker 1: him that way. Now you met your husband on the 94 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:25,280 Speaker 1: dating site, y'all day, and eight months gotten married. You 95 00:05:25,279 --> 00:05:29,000 Speaker 1: don't know nobody in eight months ain't been no trials, tribulations, 96 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,000 Speaker 1: ain't been enough ups and downs. You gotta go through 97 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,520 Speaker 1: several things for your married person so you can get 98 00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:38,760 Speaker 1: several ways to measure their ability to handle hardship. He 99 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:42,240 Speaker 1: thirty nine, thirty six. We talked about having children, but 100 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,720 Speaker 1: then his father moved into our home, and we've been 101 00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:49,719 Speaker 1: why why why did his father have to move into 102 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:57,039 Speaker 1: y'all's house, y'all? Why I'm married an African man and 103 00:05:57,160 --> 00:06:00,840 Speaker 1: his father lives with us because he's gone through his divorce. 104 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:04,000 Speaker 1: That ain't no reason for him to come live with y'all. 105 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,160 Speaker 1: I see why I can't keep a wife. His ex 106 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,159 Speaker 1: wife says, he got too many rules, so listen to me. 107 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:12,680 Speaker 1: He got special sheets that have to be washed in 108 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,640 Speaker 1: a certain detergent and hung out the ad drive, So 109 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:18,200 Speaker 1: that means he got out of that wind with some sheets. 110 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 1: That marriage he left with, just with some sheets. I 111 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:26,360 Speaker 1: gotta leave Sunday's open for him to do his launder. Well, 112 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 1: you don't want to do launder on Sunday. I got 113 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,479 Speaker 1: about high end bottle of water and glass bottles, and 114 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,640 Speaker 1: he will only drink out a crystal glasses that were 115 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:41,479 Speaker 1: wedding gilts. You wasn't hang on. Hang on, We'll come 116 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:44,680 Speaker 1: back at twenty three minutes after the hour so we 117 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:47,200 Speaker 1: can get part two of your response. All right, Today's 118 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,960 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letters subject is I have fake royalty living with me. 119 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:56,240 Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening show, 120 00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,000 Speaker 1: All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter 121 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:04,880 Speaker 1: of the subject is I had fake royalty living with me. Yeah. Yeah, 122 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,200 Speaker 1: you met this man on the dating site. After eight 123 00:07:07,279 --> 00:07:09,679 Speaker 1: months you got married. You don't even really know the dude. 124 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:13,240 Speaker 1: Y'all talked about having children, y'all working things out, and 125 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:15,560 Speaker 1: then all of a sudden his father moves into y'all's 126 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:19,400 Speaker 1: home because he's going through his fourth divorce and he 127 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:22,520 Speaker 1: needed somewhere to live. Why he got to come live 128 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:25,840 Speaker 1: with y'all, I do not know. But then you say, 129 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,800 Speaker 1: you see why he can't keep a wife. His ex 130 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 1: wife says, he got too many rules. Now listen to this. 131 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,040 Speaker 1: He got special sheets that have to be washed in 132 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:35,360 Speaker 1: a certain detergent and hung out the air drive where 133 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,160 Speaker 1: you get the sheet from. That's all he got out 134 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,720 Speaker 1: the marriage. He got out of there with some sheets. 135 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:45,320 Speaker 1: That's it, some damn sheets and they got to be 136 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:47,840 Speaker 1: hung out in the air drive. Don't nobody do that? No, 137 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:51,760 Speaker 1: mo I have to leave Sunday's open for him to 138 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:56,240 Speaker 1: do his laundry. Who do laundry on Sunday? I had 139 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:58,720 Speaker 1: to buy high end bottle of water and glass bottles 140 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:01,320 Speaker 1: and he'll only drink out of my crystal glasses that 141 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,040 Speaker 1: were a wedding gilt. You should be using them glasses. 142 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:06,360 Speaker 1: Stop saving stuff that you got on your wed They 143 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:09,000 Speaker 1: use this stuff. There's so many stupid rules. And my 144 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,240 Speaker 1: husband allows his father to live out his coming to 145 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:14,120 Speaker 1: American fantasy like he's a king. He just crazy, Your 146 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:16,000 Speaker 1: old ass man, that can't keep a woman. To me, 147 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:18,840 Speaker 1: I'm sharing a card with him, and he detested because 148 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:21,960 Speaker 1: he doesn't have a new car. Smel well get your answer, uber. 149 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:25,400 Speaker 1: Then it's in two seventeen, so it smells like one 150 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,640 Speaker 1: the biggest hell no moment. He told me he had 151 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:29,960 Speaker 1: a female visitor our house. He told my husband, I 152 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,199 Speaker 1: stay in your bed room to the call it. Get 153 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:33,959 Speaker 1: out in your room and do not come out to 154 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:38,240 Speaker 1: that call one more time more. Get out of here. 155 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:39,920 Speaker 1: Go to your room and do not come him out 156 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:43,160 Speaker 1: till I call. And when I called, you are going 157 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:47,680 Speaker 1: to act us doing you are my seven Jost spot 158 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:55,040 Speaker 1: Jost Spot coming Walter Crystal only please glass about us? 159 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:58,360 Speaker 1: What would you like dollar? I refuse to play the 160 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 1: part of the maid, so I stayed in the back 161 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 1: when he called for me. Sho dolla Fi dollar come, 162 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:14,120 Speaker 1: Sho dollar come. Francis just set her ass in the back. 163 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:19,760 Speaker 1: But he gave your servant name Phil Dolla. Anyway, my 164 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:22,400 Speaker 1: husband wants to please him, but this is ridiculous. What's worse, 165 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:24,960 Speaker 1: since his dad doesn't contribute any money, he's just using 166 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:27,000 Speaker 1: us until he meets and Marris, his next wife. How 167 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:29,440 Speaker 1: do I get this fake African king out of my 168 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:32,160 Speaker 1: home immediately, please help. First of all, you think that 169 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,679 Speaker 1: the boy's gonna do something, he's not out of respect 170 00:09:34,679 --> 00:09:37,680 Speaker 1: to his father. That's so he's not gonna make a move. 171 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:40,680 Speaker 1: Here's how you get rid of him. You have to 172 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:45,520 Speaker 1: be subtle. Like every time he wake up, you'd be 173 00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 1: standing there. I'm talking about he wake up, you'd be 174 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:57,560 Speaker 1: standing right there as soon as he turned over, and 175 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:02,040 Speaker 1: see you just turned around and walk out. And then 176 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,640 Speaker 1: the third time you do it, just have something in 177 00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 1: your hand, like what a knife, like a knife, but 178 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:18,120 Speaker 1: don't but don't be having in the staff position. Be 179 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:22,280 Speaker 1: act like you rubbing your chin. I've had that blade 180 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:24,320 Speaker 1: sticking out. And then when you wake up, just turn 181 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:28,439 Speaker 1: around out and then and then the next time he's 182 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,520 Speaker 1: sitting on the sofa watching TV, just walk up behind him, 183 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:40,240 Speaker 1: get ride in his eard due this here, and then 184 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:44,440 Speaker 1: just walk away. He gonna say something to your husband, 185 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:47,120 Speaker 1: Yeah you go, Wait a minute, what I was just 186 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:51,760 Speaker 1: in that checking on him when he woke up. It 187 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:53,880 Speaker 1: seemed like he wasn't moving. I just went in there 188 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:57,960 Speaker 1: to see about oh, dear father. Next time he gets 189 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,199 Speaker 1: in that two thy seventeen, it's a two thousand and seventeen, 190 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:04,720 Speaker 1: and it smelled like one. Next time he get in, 191 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:09,920 Speaker 1: now just drive and then just like when he in 192 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:17,000 Speaker 1: the passenger, just run, Just run his dough against a tree. 193 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,959 Speaker 1: It's two seventeen. You gonna have to sacrifice some deaths 194 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:26,079 Speaker 1: and some plaint Why can a review mirror off just 195 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,920 Speaker 1: riding right next to a tree? Just scare his ass 196 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:32,320 Speaker 1: after death? And I'm talking about every time he get 197 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:35,400 Speaker 1: in that damn car. Every time he wake up. You 198 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:40,040 Speaker 1: standing there, a knife in your hand, a hammer in 199 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:45,079 Speaker 1: your hand, saw in your hand, rout driver in your hand, 200 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:49,199 Speaker 1: or pipe rich in your hand. Every time he wake up, 201 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 1: every time he sit down, and when he get in 202 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 1: the car, every time you get in the car, don't 203 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,760 Speaker 1: hitting all the car, but make sure you scrape up 204 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:07,920 Speaker 1: again us some post, a telephone pole free on his side. 205 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,200 Speaker 1: He gonna get his ass out of that house. What 206 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:13,320 Speaker 1: is that gonna do though? When she scraped the side 207 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:16,000 Speaker 1: of stuff. Oh, that's gonna s get the hell out 208 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:18,040 Speaker 1: of him. He see it coming, it's on his side. 209 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:20,800 Speaker 1: You see that tree coming, He see that poe coming. 210 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:23,360 Speaker 1: I'll tell you something else. Heat up all his food. 211 00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:25,679 Speaker 1: If he ain't that eating SEUs put that in the 212 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:33,000 Speaker 1: microwaving it ever sandwich, put it in the microwave with 213 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,280 Speaker 1: the ladders and everything on it. Just set it in 214 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:40,680 Speaker 1: front of and the mail, everything, just everything got the 215 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:46,679 Speaker 1: microwave popcorn, getting ready to put it back into microwaves. 216 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:52,200 Speaker 1: A man you can get his ass out of here 217 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:54,959 Speaker 1: without even be You ain't even got to be cruel. Y, 218 00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:59,839 Speaker 1: I love that, all right? You run that door into 219 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:04,040 Speaker 1: a tree three four times. Here, leave us, leave us 220 00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:06,560 Speaker 1: your comments on today's letter on and not to class. 221 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:10,079 Speaker 1: You're not to close. You have to close and save 222 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,560 Speaker 1: Harvey at him and check out the Strubberry and Letter 223 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:18,320 Speaker 1: podcast on demand coming up next to his yash right 224 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:23,760 Speaker 1: after Crazy, you're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show