Speaker 1: All from Violet July.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, Hey, what's up?
Speaker 1: Is this the Gecko?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Who is this?
Speaker 1: No way, I'm Violet July.
Speaker 2: Violet July. Ooh that's do you know who the insane
Speaker 2: clown Posse are?
Speaker 1: I know of them?
Speaker 2: Yes, the head guy. His name is Violent j which
Speaker 2: is not violent. His name is Violent j and yours
Speaker 2: is Violet July.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I didn't even put those two and two together,
Speaker 1: but that's cool.
Speaker 2: What's up, Violet July. Do you go by Violet July
Speaker 2: or does do you ever go by Violet?
Speaker 1: I go by Violet. It's a recent thing. I started
Speaker 1: going by my musician name. But I'm not really here
Speaker 1: to talk about my music, I guess at all.
Speaker 2: So you picked you picked the name Violet I did?
Speaker 1: I picked it myself.
Speaker 2: Was it inspired at all by the daughter from the Incredibles?
Speaker 1: No, it was more like Violet Boudelaire from a Series
Speaker 1: of Unfortunate event.
Speaker 2: Oh, there's Violet, Violet Bouldelaire. Is that her name?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I thought you were saying Violet Beauregard. Who is the
Speaker 2: name of the of the of the girl who I think?
Speaker 2: I think that's the girl who turns into a giant
Speaker 2: blueberry in the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie.
Speaker 1: Oh that was Violet. Yeah, Violet, dou regard.
Speaker 2: Those two things? They sound similar. Yeah, well, enough about
Speaker 2: fictional characters. What's going on with you, Violet?
Speaker 1: So actually I'm in a debate on whether or not
Speaker 1: I should be a stripper again.
Speaker 2: Ah okay, uh.
Speaker 1: So I was a stripper for four years. I'm twenty five.
Speaker 1: I started when I was nineteen. I stopped when I
Speaker 1: was twenty three. But I'm also in recovery. I'm a
Speaker 1: cocaine addict. I did the cocaine mostly when I was
Speaker 1: working music festivals, not stripping, but still cocaine is at
Speaker 1: strip club and I work a retail job now and
Speaker 1: it's not paying enough for my solver living. And I'm
Speaker 1: debating on whether or not I should dance two days
Speaker 1: a week on a day shift somewhere because I'm on
Speaker 1: a proper sleep schedule now. My only issue is is
Speaker 1: that I'm worried if someone offers me cocaine, I will
Speaker 1: do it and I will ruin my life again. And
Speaker 1: I've rewrapped four times. I've been to rehab four times,
Speaker 1: and I'm doing really well now, like I'm happy for
Speaker 1: once in my life, like I'm actually enjoying living, which
Speaker 1: is crazy. I never thought that I would enjoy living.
Speaker 1: But I really need the money. And I've also been
Speaker 1: feeling that kind of sexually charged recently, like I felt
Speaker 1: like it would be a good way to express myself
Speaker 1: and feel sexy again. I guess because it's been a
Speaker 1: while and I don't know. There comes a lot of
Speaker 1: stigma that comes with though, so I don't and that's
Speaker 1: never bothered me. But now I'm kind of at the
Speaker 1: point in my life where I'd like to find somebody,
Speaker 1: and not a lot of people are okay with dating
Speaker 1: sex workers, so that's where I'm at.
Speaker 2: I have a bunch of questions. First of all, congrats
Speaker 2: on getting sober.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 2: Now you have to so you have to pay to
Speaker 2: be How does that work? You have to pay to
Speaker 2: be in a sober living house? What's that whole situation?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I pay to live in this overliving it's
Speaker 1: like granting monthly, but they cover like electricity and Wi
Speaker 1: Fi and they get toilet paper for you. So I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like a like a once a month charge for
Speaker 1: all like all.
Speaker 2: Bills paid, and did you like go to rehab and
Speaker 2: then this is sort of like you're getting out of
Speaker 2: rehab and transitioning via this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is post rehab.
Speaker 2: And is the sober living like significantly more expensive than
Speaker 2: if you were to just live in a normal place.
Speaker 1: It's actually a lot cheaper.
Speaker 2: Yeah hmm, that's fascinating. I mean, how long can you
Speaker 2: stay there for?
Speaker 1: As long as I want? As long as i'm parent?
Speaker 2: Well, shit, all right, that's a great that's a fantastic situation. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you like, is it like a dorm room kind of
Speaker 2: shit where you're like hanging out with other people in
Speaker 2: recovery and there's like meetings all the time and stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we have two house meetings a week. I think
Speaker 1: there's enough space here for twelve girls, but I think
Speaker 1: we only have six, so we each have our own
Speaker 1: rooms right now, M.
Speaker 2: Very very Uh are you meeting? Are you meeting a
Speaker 2: lot of friends?
Speaker 1: I am. The thing about recovery is that I really
Speaker 1: like is the community is really awesome. Like I love
Speaker 1: going to meetings. I love going to like my IOP,
Speaker 1: which stands for Intensive outpatient, which is basically just group therapy.
Speaker 1: I really love it. Also, if I'm talking weird. It's
Speaker 1: because I've just got my pumpures and I'm still trying
Speaker 1: to like figure out how to speak with it.
Speaker 2: I didn't hear that, But did you, like, did you
Speaker 2: get one of those tongue piercings where like the tongue
Speaker 2: is fucking split in half like Patrick's arms.
Speaker 1: That would be cool, but now I just got like
Speaker 1: a little piercing in the middle.
Speaker 2: There is anyone else in this that you've met in
Speaker 2: this recovery center? Is anyone else a former or current stripper?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: So all right, so tell me about the stripping you
Speaker 2: did it from when you were nineteen too? How old?
Speaker 1: Twenty three?
Speaker 2: Okay? And at the time you were doing it? What
Speaker 2: made you stop?
Speaker 1: I got really burnt out and I switched to cam girling.
Speaker 1: I was a cam girl for a while and I
Speaker 1: really liked that. But I can't do that right now
Speaker 1: because I live in sober living. I would just do that,
Speaker 1: but like they won't really allow that, and sober living
Speaker 1: because like moaning through the walls isn't really so there's
Speaker 1: like six girls here, Like I just feel like it's
Speaker 1: it's not When I did it, I lived with people
Speaker 1: who understood, but I switched to camgirling and then I
Speaker 1: went to rehab and I got really burnt out in
Speaker 1: my back hurt. I was just I did it for
Speaker 1: four years so and it was never anything that I
Speaker 1: was passionate about. Like what I'm really passionate about, Like
Speaker 1: I love working merch at festivals and concerts. I love
Speaker 1: doing that, and then music. I love making music and
Speaker 1: performing absolutely love it. I released my first song in January,
Speaker 1: and I'm hoping I can make a living doing that
Speaker 1: one day. But it's like in the meantime, I need
Speaker 1: something to get by, and like, starting a music project
Speaker 1: is really expensive. Like I'm just a vocalist and lyricist.
Speaker 1: I have to have people like mix my stuff. I
Speaker 1: have a producer that I have to pay. Marketing costs money,
Speaker 1: and I'm barely affording to live as it is. It's
Speaker 1: like to get somewhere, I have to like invest in myself.
Speaker 1: So that's why I think going back to the club
Speaker 1: might be a good idea, because I mean, I could
Speaker 1: pay for my project and I could pay for my
Speaker 1: silver living and I have another job on top of that.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's here.
Speaker 2: What's your what's your other job? Oh right, you said retail.
Speaker 1: We're gonna yeah, retail, hmm.
Speaker 2: You see. It's interesting. It's fascinating here you said that
Speaker 2: you were a cam girl, because when you first said
Speaker 2: like that, the main fear was that you would uh
Speaker 2: get offered cocaine. I was like, while you could just
Speaker 2: do the you know whatever the digital version of being
Speaker 2: a stripper is, which, by the way, I you know,
Speaker 2: I've always found that kind of I find it fascinating
Speaker 2: that strip clubs even still really exist because I would assume,
Speaker 2: and you know, I don't know that that like the
Speaker 2: universe of the financials of being a stripper versus being
Speaker 2: a cam girl, but I would assume that the benefits
Speaker 2: of of of doing some kind of camming career is
Speaker 2: better than being a stripper in person.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, stripping is more money. But I really
Speaker 1: liked camming, Like I felt like I could just be
Speaker 1: myself on camera and it was it was a really
Speaker 1: fun experience. I liked it a lot.
Speaker 2: So how much of the decision of whether or not
Speaker 2: you want to go back to stripping is monetary because
Speaker 2: you mentioned that it's money, but you also mentioned that
Speaker 2: you enjoy it in some degree that allows you some
Speaker 2: degree of expression.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm an extrovert. I love talking to people of
Speaker 1: getting to know people, and like, how would I say
Speaker 1: this without like, I don't know. I've been very sexually
Speaker 1: charge recently because I think it's like you took away
Speaker 1: my drugs and now my brain wants something else. Sure,
Speaker 1: and I've been feeling very flirty and I've kind of
Speaker 1: been acting out a little bit, like I've been making
Speaker 1: out with people in my group therapy and I shouldn't
Speaker 1: be doing that, Like that's I just don't And I
Speaker 1: mean I've gotten non tender and met people and whatnot,
Speaker 1: but it's a matter of like my I guess my
Speaker 1: r right now is very flirty, and if I could
Speaker 1: just express that and be that way and get paid
Speaker 1: for it, that would be really cool, because I feel
Speaker 1: like I've been a little inappropriate lately. It's just I
Speaker 1: guess the vibe I'm giving out because I'm so sexually
Speaker 1: frustrated and I don't I don't want, like I just
Speaker 1: need a friends with benefits and I'm on the hunt
Speaker 1: for one. But it's it's like I don't want all this.
Speaker 1: I just I don't. I don't want to be screwing
Speaker 1: around with people that I'm in recovery with you know,
Speaker 1: and it's very hard for me not I have to.
Speaker 2: I have to imagine. I have to. I know, there's
Speaker 2: like sex addict stuff where you like, it's that that
Speaker 2: I mean, that must be a crazy can of worms.
Speaker 2: But I have to imagine that that must be. There
Speaker 2: has there has to be. I have to imagine that
Speaker 2: in recovery communities in general, there's a lot of people fucking.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's it's called flaw sex and Love Addicts anonymous,
Speaker 1: and I am in it.
Speaker 2: Uh are you fucking around with people in that group specifically?
Speaker 1: No, that's like highly discouraged. Like at the beginning of
Speaker 1: I don't know how much I'm allowed to say because
Speaker 1: it's anonymous, but it's it's a very that's highly discouraged.
Speaker 2: I I I have to I assume with the with
Speaker 2: the with the anonymous groups, you can talk about them
Speaker 2: as long as you're not talking about a specific person.
Speaker 1: You're like, yeah, you know, yeah, Well, at the beginning
Speaker 1: of each meeting, they say, like, this is not a
Speaker 1: hookup group, Like if anyone approaches you in an appropriate manner,
Speaker 1: and like we all understand, like we're all kind of
Speaker 1: in the same boat, so we don't want to like
Speaker 1: trigger each other. Now with like group therapy and like
Speaker 1: IOP and stuff like that, it's a little harder because
Speaker 1: not everyone's a sex addict and it's not it is
Speaker 1: found pond to like get a rehab romance or whatever
Speaker 1: you call it. But it's like there's that that line
Speaker 1: of respect isn't going both ways. Like someone might flirt
Speaker 1: with me and it's very hard for me not to
Speaker 1: flirt with them back, or I might flirt with someone.
Speaker 1: But like in the in the Flaw program, it's very
Speaker 1: like we're so there to try to get better that
Speaker 1: we don't want to like fuck up anyone else's recovery.
Speaker 1: And I wouldn't want to fuck up anyone else's like
Speaker 1: recovery and IOP either.
Speaker 2: It's because how is the Tinder going.
Speaker 1: I had a really good Tinder date yesterday, but I'm
Speaker 1: afraid I would catch feelings for him, and I'm not
Speaker 1: really in the place that I'm available to catch feelings
Speaker 1: for people.
Speaker 4: And that's.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you just so you you just want to
Speaker 2: have no strings attached sex with people.
Speaker 1: I just want like one friends with benefits. I can
Speaker 1: hit up a few times a week and I feel
Speaker 1: like that would be enough for me.
Speaker 2: I feel like on Tinder, you won't have an issue
Speaker 2: finding that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a guy that he is the guy that
Speaker 1: gives me my coffee and water when I'm at work.
Speaker 1: We've been hanging out and we talked about a friends
Speaker 1: benefits situation. It just hasn't happened yet, and I think
Speaker 1: he would be good because I'm not I don't have
Speaker 1: any romantic feelings for him. I don't see myself catching
Speaker 1: any and he's really pretty. But the guy from tender
Speaker 1: is actually really cool. And then I kind of started
Speaker 1: having a friends with benefits thing with a girl but
Speaker 1: she's in my iop and we sucked once and it
Speaker 1: was really cool.
Speaker 4: But then I was.
Speaker 2: Gonna I was gonna ask. I know that the I
Speaker 2: have to assume that the slog groups are separated by gender,
Speaker 2: but if you're if you're into all the genders, you're fucked.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2: But I guess back to the original issue of like
Speaker 2: should you become a stripper or not? I mean, look,
Speaker 2: what about what about only fans? I said only fans?
Speaker 2: Just now, as if I don't know what only like,
Speaker 2: that's how that's how somebody who doesn't really know what
Speaker 2: only fans is would say it only fans, but well,
Speaker 2: I don't like fans once.
Speaker 1: I don't like only fans making content to me is
Speaker 1: just I've done it. But like, I'm actually not that photogenic.
Speaker 1: I look way better in life than doing photos. And
Speaker 1: it's like only fans is, like, you gotta be consistent
Speaker 1: with it.
Speaker 2: You have to.
Speaker 1: Constantly market yourself with camming and stripping. You kind of
Speaker 1: just do it, and you gain a base with only fans.
Speaker 1: You have to gain a base and then.
Speaker 2: Do it right.
Speaker 1: And yeah, and I've I've done only fans. I did
Speaker 1: it for a week, I made a lot of money,
Speaker 1: deleted it, and it's just it's not my thing. Like
Speaker 1: making content. I like making content, just not like sexual content.
Speaker 1: Like I I don't know. I'm a creative. I have
Speaker 1: a lot of ideas for videos. I write poetry, I
Speaker 1: write short stories, I write plays.
Speaker 4: I'm a writer.
Speaker 1: I like editing videos.
Speaker 4: Is just.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't I don't like making sexual content.
Speaker 1: I like just being myself and talking and having my
Speaker 1: aura and then doing that like photos and videos are
Speaker 1: just kind of whatever.
Speaker 2: So how long have you been so the did you
Speaker 2: go to like a sex and love rehab at the
Speaker 2: same time as the cocaine rehab.
Speaker 1: No, I don't think that exists. Actually, I mean it might,
Speaker 1: but I haven't been the one.
Speaker 2: Wait. How long have you been in the slaw for? Mmm?
Speaker 1: Maybe like six months?
Speaker 2: Okay, how long you been in the cocaine stuff for.
Speaker 1: The first time I went to rehab was a year ago.
Speaker 2: M hm. How is the retail job going? Where? Where
Speaker 2: is where is that at?
Speaker 1: I don't like it. I'm just not passionate about it.
Speaker 1: It's a lingerie store. I'm just it's really hard for
Speaker 1: me to find jobs I'm passionate about. I'm not passionate
Speaker 1: about sex work, but at least I like it. And
Speaker 1: I don't dislike this retail job. I'm just it's boring,
Speaker 1: and I mean, I guess people have to work boring jobs.
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to complain about it. I'm grateful to
Speaker 1: have this job. It's just if I have to have
Speaker 1: a career, I just want to do something i'm passionate about. Like,
Speaker 1: all I want to do is write songs and poetry,
Speaker 1: and I've written books, and I just I want to
Speaker 1: do music first. So I have a people that will
Speaker 1: read my stuff, and I just I don't know.
Speaker 4: The job is cool.
Speaker 1: I like the girls that work there. It's just I'm
Speaker 1: not passionate about it and it doesn't pay a whole time.
Speaker 2: Well, I you know, I think it's good. I think
Speaker 2: it's good that you have a lot of things you
Speaker 2: want to do, you know. The way you're talking about them,
Speaker 2: they're like, it's almost and I do this too. I
Speaker 2: do this too. What I'm about to say that you're doing,
Speaker 2: I do this too. And that's why I'm telling you
Speaker 2: that I'm seeing you do it. Is like all these
Speaker 2: passions that you are talking about, like you know what ever,
Speaker 2: making music or writing things like they're almost like waits
Speaker 2: the way you're talking about them, you know, But I
Speaker 2: think they're good to have all these things that you
Speaker 2: want to do. And then weirdly, like weirdly, these things
Speaker 2: they come with like attachments of like I need to
Speaker 2: make money doing this or be successful doing this, And
Speaker 2: I think there's that a big part of like trying
Speaker 2: to be happy with them is removing those kind of
Speaker 2: unnecessary attachments. And again I I I completely and utterly
Speaker 2: do that myself. And that's the only reason I'm talking
Speaker 2: about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I really appreciate you.
Speaker 2: Go go.
Speaker 1: I watch your steam a lot, and I'm always like,
Speaker 1: I wonder if I'll get to talk to them one day?
Speaker 2: What is What does the future look like for you?
Speaker 2: Violet Violent? I'm gonna just call you violent Violent July, Violet,
Speaker 2: Violet July. What's the future look is?
Speaker 1: Violet July? I More poetry, more music, more connection, more love,
Speaker 1: more kindness, more enlightenment.
Speaker 2: And less cocaine.
Speaker 1: I don't know, and less cocaine.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm, Well, I wish I could have I I
Speaker 2: it's been It's been great talking to you. I wish
Speaker 2: I could have been of some form of help in
Speaker 2: you making your decision.
Speaker 1: You're great. It was great to just be able to
Speaker 1: vent about it. Thank you.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I guess you could. There's a way
Speaker 2: you could. You could combine all these things. You could be.
Speaker 2: You could be the stripping poet. You you take off
Speaker 2: one piece of clothing for every every bar. What do
Speaker 2: you go Are they Is that just rap? Or is
Speaker 2: that in poetry too?
Speaker 1: The bars they're called stamp.
Speaker 2: Okay, every stanza, you take off one piece of clothing.
Speaker 1: Do you do you want to hear poems.
Speaker 2: Sure, let's close out with a poem.
Speaker 3: Well, I have like.
Speaker 1: Eight thousand pems in my phone notes. I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: where is it? Let's go with Okay, the anti Christ
Speaker 1: will entice the gentleman the medicine he needs to kill.
Speaker 1: The weeds of the demiurge must be purged from his computer,
Speaker 1: for the consumer is innocent, and the gentleman is ignorant
Speaker 1: of the colors sent from the other side of reality.
Speaker 1: For our immortality desires to go backwards. I heard the
Speaker 1: gentleman's curls can lurel the girls into the catastrophe that
Speaker 1: may be essopiric truth. But his geometric youth sings the
Speaker 1: song of wires, that tire of intertwining the saging masses.
Speaker 1: So when his soul passes, will he choose to continue
Speaker 1: down the rabbit hole of hell?
Speaker 4: Or will his shell grow roots?
Speaker 2: That sounds like something Hermione would say to like turn
Speaker 2: a demon into a bunny or something. It was a
Speaker 2: good poem. Thank you, what's your name again? Violet Violent,
Speaker 2: Violet July.
Speaker 4: Violet July, Violet July.
Speaker 2: Violet July, Is anything else you want to say to
Speaker 2: the people of the computer before we go.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have a song coming out on January first
Speaker 1: at who is Violet July? If you feel like following,
Speaker 1: I promise it didn't come here for music promo. But
Speaker 1: thank you so much. I appreciate everybody like you guys agree.
Speaker 2: Also, check out Violent I don't know what his Instagram
Speaker 2: handle is, but check out a violent violent J. Just
Speaker 2: go to go to YouTube and type in violent J
Speaker 2: Miracles and watch that video too while and watch Violet
Speaker 2: stuff and also that thank.
Speaker 1: You so much.
Speaker 2: Have a good night, Violet.
Speaker 1: Yeah you toobe by bye.
Speaker 4: Hello.
Speaker 2: What's your name?
Speaker 4: Lauren?
Speaker 2: Lauren? What's going on with you? Lauren?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 4: You know, just not really on house rest. But I
Speaker 4: have a scram monitor on my ankle.
Speaker 2: A scram monitor?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, so it it depends alcohol in your sweat?
Speaker 2: And is this because you are legally not allowed to
Speaker 2: be consuming alcohol.
Speaker 4: On twenty four but correct?
Speaker 2: Yes, why are you not legally allowed to consume alcohol?
Speaker 4: So I I rolled a stop sign and I had
Speaker 4: alcohol in my system and I got pulled over and yeah,
Speaker 4: a long story short, I got an ankle monitor.
Speaker 2: What was that? Were you above the legal limit?
Speaker 4: Yeah? So I'm nott in Utah and Utah's legal limits
Speaker 4: zero point zero five, which I mean still not great.
Speaker 4: I don't condone it, But.
Speaker 2: How much did you have to drink that night?
Speaker 4: I really only probably had four glasses of wine throughout
Speaker 4: a period of a couple hours, and I could, like
Speaker 4: I remember the whole like pulling over, the arrest, everything,
Speaker 4: so after like that whole situation, before I got the
Speaker 4: angle monitor, I wanted to test the theory to see
Speaker 4: how my body processed alcohol. So I had a wine
Speaker 4: night with my friends and we got a breatholizer and
Speaker 4: for one glass of wine, mine was like double what
Speaker 4: everybody else would blow. My body just doesn't process alcohol.
Speaker 2: Well, I will say soberly. I have rolled almost every
Speaker 2: stop sign I've ever countered throughout my entire.
Speaker 4: Life, exactly. I grew up in California. We roll stop signs.
Speaker 2: I think everyone rolls. When's the last time anybody whoever's
Speaker 2: listening to this, I want you to think about the
Speaker 2: last time you completely stopped, like like I'm talking complete stop.
Speaker 2: Your car rolls like rolls back kind of a stop
Speaker 2: at a stop sign where there's nobody else at like
Speaker 2: you know, yeah, I mean I'm rolling stops all the time,
Speaker 2: all the time. How long do you have to wear
Speaker 2: the thing? For?
Speaker 4: One hundred and twenty days? So I got it October eleventh,
Speaker 4: and I will get it off February eighth. I believe
Speaker 4: so im just over a.
Speaker 2: Month today, and I I just the like part of
Speaker 2: your ankle that the brace covers get really gross because
Speaker 2: you can't wash it.
Speaker 4: No. I can shower with it, thankfully, and submerged it
Speaker 4: in water.
Speaker 2: You can't submerge it in water.
Speaker 4: No, so it you can't submerge it. But you can
Speaker 4: take a shower because it's or you can see the shower,
Speaker 4: But you can't take a bath.
Speaker 2: What happens if you take it off does to explode.
Speaker 4: I can't take it off. I have to go to
Speaker 4: the jail and they use a special little tool and
Speaker 4: then it sends all these alerts to the police station
Speaker 4: that the monitor has been unlocked.
Speaker 2: Are you allowed?
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I'm allowed to drive. I do have a
Speaker 4: breathalyzer in my car, So I am double sober with
Speaker 4: an ankle monitor and a breathalizer in my car.
Speaker 2: Is this your first defense? I feel like this sound
Speaker 2: this sounds like second defense kind of a thing.
Speaker 4: It's my first defense. It's just Utah. I also had
Speaker 4: a wax pen in my car, which I don't smoke weed.
Speaker 4: I don't even do drugs, but it was an ex
Speaker 4: boyfriend and whax as a felony out here, So also
Speaker 4: getting the monitor kind of drop the felony charges. So
Speaker 4: I was like, you know what, all take an ankle
Speaker 4: monitor before I take a felony.
Speaker 2: Well, shit, that's very Yeah. Utah is very like more
Speaker 2: many holy we don't do that stuff around here kind of.
Speaker 4: A place, which is crazy because growing up in California,
Speaker 4: I never really like partied, and being out in Utah
Speaker 4: never party harder.
Speaker 2: Tell me about the Utah party scene.
Speaker 4: It's weird. It's like, I think, because the data is
Speaker 4: so strict that everybody just feels the need to constantly
Speaker 4: be under the influence of something.
Speaker 2: Are you born and raised there? You just said, Oh,
Speaker 2: you said you were born in California.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I was born in California. I grew up there,
Speaker 4: and I lived in Tahoe for a little bit, and
Speaker 4: then I moved to Utah two years ago.
Speaker 2: What'd you move here for?
Speaker 4: Uh? Just a snowboard?
Speaker 2: Cool? Really, just a snowboard. Did you know anyone when
Speaker 2: you moved.
Speaker 4: Nope, you didn't know a soul.
Speaker 2: How long ago did you move?
Speaker 4: Two years ago?
Speaker 2: And how's it gone?
Speaker 4: It was going good up until this, and now I'm
Speaker 4: probably gonna go back to California.
Speaker 2: What are you gonna do in California?
Speaker 4: I don't know. I kind of want to move to
Speaker 4: southern California. I grew up in northern so I feel
Speaker 4: like southern it would be kind of a nice change.
Speaker 4: And I'm kind of an adventurous person. I feel like
Speaker 4: Southern California kind of has a little bit more to
Speaker 4: all for me. I do spontaneous things a lot. And
Speaker 4: also since I've had this inkle monitor, I was kind
Speaker 4: of nervous. But my probational officer let me go to
Speaker 4: Vegas for SEMA, which is the car show, which I
Speaker 4: was really surprised he let me go to Vegas, but
Speaker 4: he did. And I convinced the guy sitting next to
Speaker 4: me on the plane, complete stranger, to take me to
Speaker 4: the Hoover Dam.
Speaker 2: You convinced the guy on the plane with you from
Speaker 2: Utah to Vegas to take you to the Hoover Dam.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I had never been and I really wanted.
Speaker 2: To go, and so he like drove there.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: At first he was really hesitant. He was like no,
Speaker 4: and then uh, we weren't. Really. No one said anything
Speaker 4: on the plane because I had to. I awkwardly sat
Speaker 4: in the middle seat. It was the last seat available
Speaker 4: on the plane, and of course I had to sit there.
Speaker 4: And so I'm sitting between these two dudes and We're
Speaker 4: just like talking about the Hoover Dam and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 4: I've never been, so if you guys want to take me,
Speaker 4: that'd be cool. And they were like kind of for it,
Speaker 4: but they were a little hesitant, and then the one
Speaker 4: guy was like, well maybe, and I was like, okay, well,
Speaker 4: if you do take me, just a little disclosure, like
Speaker 4: I'm on probation. I have an inkle monitor. I was like,
Speaker 4: do you want to see it? And then the other
Speaker 4: guy was like, you know what, I don't want to go.
Speaker 4: And then the other guy was like, you know what,
Speaker 4: I'll take you. So I let a stranger take me
Speaker 4: to the Hoover Dam.
Speaker 2: Was this like a date?
Speaker 4: No, No, I just wanted to go and he had
Speaker 4: time to kill So.
Speaker 2: It says here you also you also messaged me to
Speaker 2: say that you had a stranger take you to Mexico.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So last summer. It was last summer I went to
Speaker 4: visit my cousin who goes to San Diego State, and
Speaker 4: I thought he would let me go to class with him.
Speaker 4: He was super opposed to that and said, no, find
Speaker 4: something else to do during the day, So with any
Speaker 4: solo board traveler would do. I took the train and
Speaker 4: I wanted to go to Tijuana for a couple hours,
Speaker 4: and so on the train, I kept like, I guess
Speaker 4: I was looking around super like suspiciously, and the guy
Speaker 4: behind me handed me his phone and was like, you
Speaker 4: look lost, and I was like, no, like I know
Speaker 4: where I'm going, and he was like, okay, just making
Speaker 4: sure are you by yourself? And I was like at
Speaker 4: the moment, yes, but I won't be because I was like,
Speaker 4: I don't know what his intentions are. But also I
Speaker 4: was like, okay, he's typing on his phone, so clearly
Speaker 4: he's not like making it known to everybody else on
Speaker 4: the train. And so we typed on his phone for
Speaker 4: probably like thirty minutes because it was a two hour
Speaker 4: train ride, and finally he goes, you want to take
Speaker 4: an uber It'll be ten minutes, and I was like sure.
Speaker 4: So we get off this train and we're standing like
Speaker 4: on the side of the road by a military base,
Speaker 4: going to tea on it. And then we get in
Speaker 4: the uber and then I was like, you know what,
Speaker 4: I could get kidnapped right now. Like this man hasn't
Speaker 4: said a word to me. Everything's been over text and
Speaker 4: so I got a panic and I like start pulling
Speaker 4: little hairs out of my hair and leaving him in
Speaker 4: the car and just like putting my fingerprints on stuff.
Speaker 2: You've been So you you this guy next to you,
Speaker 2: you you don't speak a word with him, but you
Speaker 2: just hand your phone back and forth with each other.
Speaker 4: Yes, Well, so he handed me his phone and he
Speaker 4: was like, are you lost? Like do you know where
Speaker 4: you're going?
Speaker 2: He had typedesap or something.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And so so you guys are right.
Speaker 2: So you guys are so so. So you guys are
Speaker 2: sitting next to each other, but instead of talking, you
Speaker 2: are handing this his phone back and forth.
Speaker 4: Yeah. So he was actually like a row behind me,
Speaker 4: so you could like see me like kind of like
Speaker 4: looking at the train map and like looking at my
Speaker 4: phone at like all the stops.
Speaker 2: Okay, so you get off of this train with this
Speaker 2: guy who you have not spoken a word to but
Speaker 2: you're just texting back and forth with his phone.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and he showed me that he had ordered an uber.
Speaker 4: I know it sounds super dumb when I say it
Speaker 4: out loud, but I was like, okay, he ordered an uber.
Speaker 4: Ubers are secure, Like I felt kind of safe. I
Speaker 4: didn't really question it. And then he was like, okay,
Speaker 4: like follow me through the like the like the I
Speaker 4: don't know what it's called at the border, but there's
Speaker 4: like visitors and then people who have like citizenships, and
Speaker 4: he was like, just walked through who's like, don't stand
Speaker 4: too close to me, but just like kind of follow
Speaker 4: and I was like okay. And so then I get
Speaker 4: pulled aside and then they're like rodge your passport blah
Speaker 4: blah blah. And then I didn't have it, and I
Speaker 4: was like, I'm just coming in for a couple hours
Speaker 4: and then leaving, and so they made me buy a
Speaker 4: day visa, which is only he's like fifteen bucks, and
Speaker 4: I was like, sure, like, all.
Speaker 2: You can get into Mexico without a passport by just
Speaker 2: giving them fifteen dollars.
Speaker 4: Yes, kind of crazy.
Speaker 2: That is kind of crazy.
Speaker 4: Didn't so this guy still has not said a word
Speaker 4: to me at all, and I figured, okay, well, maybe
Speaker 4: there's just like a language.
Speaker 2: Why haven't you Why why haven't Why haven't you? I
Speaker 2: don't understand. You got off the train with this guy.
Speaker 2: Why haven't you? Why are you not talking to him?
Speaker 4: Well, so I would say things like to him, but
Speaker 4: he would always type back. So I figured like, maybe
Speaker 4: English isn't his first language, and so like maybe the barrier,
Speaker 4: but he could hype really good English, but maybe he
Speaker 4: just wasn't comfortable speaking it.
Speaker 2: Okay, was he Mexican?
Speaker 4: So yeah, yeah, And so once we crossed the border,
Speaker 4: he's like, oh, my cousin can give you a ride
Speaker 4: wherever you wanted to go because I called him I
Speaker 4: just want to go to the beach, get a taco margarita.
Speaker 4: And he was like, my cousin can take you. And
Speaker 4: then I was like, you know what, That's where I
Speaker 4: got to draw the line, because then it's like, okay,
Speaker 4: it's not an uber, nothing's getting tracked. But so were
Speaker 4: across the border and we're standing in front of I
Speaker 4: don't know if it's Oxo's or o Xxo's, but I
Speaker 4: call him Oxos. It's like the seven eleven of Mexico. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: and this like suv pulls up behind him because he's
Speaker 4: facing me, so he has his back to the road,
Speaker 4: and then the guy like honks his horn and the
Speaker 4: guy doesn't flinch. I was like hmm. And then he
Speaker 4: turns around and then they see each other, and then
Speaker 4: they start signing to each other in like sign language.
Speaker 4: So I was like, oh, he's either deaf or mute.
Speaker 4: And I was like, you know what, that makes sense
Speaker 4: why he has not said a word to me. So
Speaker 4: I guess I let a death or mute man take
Speaker 4: me across the border.
Speaker 2: Did you How did you end this interaction with this man?
Speaker 4: I told him I appreciated his uber and uh, I
Speaker 4: wished him well and that I was going to take
Speaker 4: a taxi.
Speaker 2: Okay, I mean that's probably good to not get in
Speaker 2: like a random guy's cousin's car in Tijuana.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Well, And so every time I tell people this story,
Speaker 4: my main priority was obviously not to get kidnapped, but
Speaker 4: I like to make light of the situation. And I
Speaker 4: had my cousin's house key, which is the only house
Speaker 4: key to the house at the time, and so my
Speaker 4: goal was don't get kidnapped because I had the key
Speaker 4: to the house and my cousin would not have been happy.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I like that you. I like that your
Speaker 2: relationship with your cousin is such that if you got
Speaker 2: kidnapped in Mexico, their first thought would be, oh, no,
Speaker 2: she is the keys to my house.
Speaker 4: Yeah. He probably he probably wouldn't have been too happy
Speaker 4: with that one. And I didn't tell him I was
Speaker 4: going to Mexico either, so he just thought I was
Speaker 4: roaming around near the campus.
Speaker 2: So I mean, are you constantly getting into these crazy adventures?
Speaker 4: I want to say no, but if you were to
Speaker 4: ask my friend, they would probably say one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: I mean they're not.
Speaker 4: Always that extreme, but they're definitely kind of out there.
Speaker 2: What's your whole what's your name again? By the way, Uh, Lauren, Lauren?
Speaker 2: What's your whole? Prerogative? Lauren? What are you doing? What's
Speaker 2: your deal?
Speaker 4: I do? I have no idea. Like I'm twenty four.
Speaker 4: I feel like I've done so much in such a
Speaker 4: short time. Like I don't really have family problems. It's
Speaker 4: not like it's me like lashing out and stuff like that.
Speaker 4: I just I don't know. Maybe it's like I didn't
Speaker 4: have enough, like not control, but my parents telling me like, hey,
Speaker 4: don't do that type of thing growing up. So it's
Speaker 4: like Worlds the Oyster. I'm gonna keep going like I
Speaker 4: do understand consequences. Obviously, I have an inkle monitor.
Speaker 2: But what's next for you? What do you want to
Speaker 2: be next?
Speaker 4: That's a good question. I'm having the inkle monitor. I
Speaker 4: have had my highs of highs and the lowest of lows,
Speaker 4: so I've had a lot of time for self reflection. Definitely,
Speaker 4: once I get this off, I probably will just stay sober.
Speaker 4: But I don't know. I kind of wanted to get
Speaker 4: there was like a small timeframe where I thought about
Speaker 4: getting into like being a probation officer because I was like,
Speaker 4: you know what, I kind of like this, Like I
Speaker 4: check in with my probation officer every day. I went
Speaker 4: into the jail and like talk to the other probation
Speaker 4: officer for three hours just about life.
Speaker 2: Are you are you going to move? So you're planning
Speaker 2: on moving to La or I guess southern.
Speaker 4: Probably like San Diego to Mecula.
Speaker 2: Okay, and you try to become a probation.
Speaker 4: Maybe. I mean it was just like an idea that
Speaker 4: crossed my mind because I also used to work for
Speaker 4: Have you ever had a super Cross?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: Wait, h is that just a bike thing?
Speaker 4: Yeah? So in the summer they have pro Moto, which
Speaker 4: is like their outdoor circuit, and I used to work
Speaker 4: for that. So I lived in a van, I got paid,
Speaker 4: I live in my boss's van and drive cross country
Speaker 4: with the mountain bikes for Specialized And so I really
Speaker 4: enjoyed that, and I met a lot of people in
Speaker 4: the industry and it's given me a lot of connections
Speaker 4: that I think it'd be super cool to get back into.
Speaker 4: Not necessarily like writing because I don't race, but something
Speaker 4: in the sports industry.
Speaker 2: That could be cool. I do you do? You do
Speaker 2: you predict that you will still have a have a
Speaker 2: lust for adventure and want to go to weird places
Speaker 2: by yourself and hang out with strangers. Absolutely, yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: sort of addicted. I'm sort of addicted to that too,
Speaker 2: But I'm good. I'm at a point in my life
Speaker 2: I've been thinking about this a lot. I I do,
Speaker 2: I do. I like to do that, And you know
Speaker 2: a lot of what I do in my career as
Speaker 2: a gecko is that I did it even before I
Speaker 2: had I was doing the Gecko thing, but also a
Speaker 2: lot of part of me is like wonders how much
Speaker 2: longer I can do that before it's I don't know,
Speaker 2: I guess sad or yeah, or or it gets me
Speaker 2: only or whatever. I mean, I'm only. I'm about to
Speaker 2: be twenty six years old in a month.
Speaker 4: Okay, so we're similar to the same age.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's your birthday December.
Speaker 4: Twentieth, Okay, I'm January fourth.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm about to be twenty six. And I don't know.
Speaker 2: Brother's still like I I you know, I get all
Speaker 2: these da I mean, I get all these dms from people.
Speaker 2: I mean on the podcast a couple of weeks ago,
Speaker 2: I guy was talking to the guy in Pakistan and
Speaker 2: I mentioned that people should DM me to go, you know,
Speaker 2: film a video with them in a crazy place. And
Speaker 2: I still want to do all that stuff. And you know,
Speaker 2: there's this guy on YouTube. His name is Peter Santanello.
Speaker 2: I don't know if anyone knows who he is, but
Speaker 2: he's like inspiring to me because he's like forty five
Speaker 2: or something like that, and he's still running around making
Speaker 2: videos all over the world, hanging out with strangers of
Speaker 2: all different ages and you know, but he's also got
Speaker 2: like a wife and shit, and you know, he's not fat,
Speaker 2: And yeah, I think that could be cool if I
Speaker 2: could do that, if I could have some kind of
Speaker 2: like stable life and you know, a semblance of real
Speaker 2: you know, relationship home kind of a thing, but also
Speaker 2: be able to you know, go hang out. Yeah, hang
Speaker 2: out with a stranger in Mexico and not die and
Speaker 2: make a video about it. So I don't know, maybe
Speaker 2: there's a way to buy in all those universes.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Because I also work at a like a restaurant
Speaker 4: bar out here in Utah, and the other day one
Speaker 4: of my tables was these guys that are on a
Speaker 4: hockey team, and so they were playing the Utah Grizzlies
Speaker 4: and just me just over sharing my life. The one
Speaker 4: guy was like, give me your number and I'll give
Speaker 4: you some tickets. So I went to the game and
Speaker 4: then we were just chatting after and I was like,
Speaker 4: I guess I'll have to come to Canada. But then
Speaker 4: we remember, data can't really go to Canada with a
Speaker 4: criminal record, which I don't know if I technicues. I
Speaker 4: think I do have a criminal record, unfortunately, But you
Speaker 4: can't go. So then I told him. I was like, well,
Speaker 4: it looks like you're either gonna have to come back
Speaker 4: to Utah, California or go to Mexico with me. And
Speaker 4: so we're going to plan a Mexico trip. And I've
Speaker 4: met this guy once, but I mean, the odds of
Speaker 4: it following through are probably slim. But also I'm the
Speaker 4: type of person that's like, if I invite you to
Speaker 4: go on a trip with me, even if you don't go,
Speaker 4: I'll probably still go on the trip.
Speaker 2: I'd say that's the way to do it. That's the
Speaker 2: way to do it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So if you ever want to go to Mexico, gag,
Speaker 4: we could go.
Speaker 2: You know, it's funny you mentioned that I'm moving away.
Speaker 2: Oh well, I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do.
Speaker 2: But I have been wanting to go to Tijuana even
Speaker 2: though I've heard it. You can be a little crazy.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Luckily, my mom has a house in Portavarta, so that's
Speaker 4: where I would prefer to go, but don't want to.
Speaker 4: Crossing the border is really fun. It's a little time consuming,
Speaker 4: but the adventure is there.
Speaker 2: Does your mom make good tostatus?
Speaker 4: No? My mom? Well, my mom is white. My dad's Mexican.
Speaker 4: Bless my mom, but she can't She can cook, but
Speaker 4: she can't really cook. My dad's a better cook. My
Speaker 4: parents don't know that I had a DUI.
Speaker 2: Oh they don't.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 4: This happened in May and it's already November and they
Speaker 4: still don't know. And I'm going home for Christmas and
Speaker 4: I am on the fence whether or not I want
Speaker 4: to tell them or not. And I have an ankle monitor,
Speaker 4: so it's like, okay, but look, how you just wear pants. Well,
Speaker 4: but it's also California, so it could potentially be warm.
Speaker 4: Probably not.
Speaker 2: But how do you think they would react to seeing
Speaker 2: that you have the ankle modeler?
Speaker 4: Probably a little disappointed.
Speaker 2: M Lauren. I don't know you very well, but you
Speaker 2: seem like you can deal with people being a little
Speaker 2: disappointed in you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeahau as long. So that's the thing, is like
Speaker 4: getting a toe is it's not the worst thing in
Speaker 4: the world, but it definitely should give everybody a reality
Speaker 4: check if you've ever gotten one. And it has given
Speaker 4: me like the world's biggest reality check. Uh. And I'm
Speaker 4: i the reason I can joke about my situation and
Speaker 4: make it so lighthearted because I understand and I can
Speaker 4: acknowledge the consequences that could have happened, Like it could
Speaker 4: have gone so much worse. I could have wrecked my car,
Speaker 4: I could have killed somebody, like all the w but
Speaker 4: in my case, I just barely rolled a stop sign
Speaker 4: and that was on and off the road. That was it.
Speaker 2: So I hope that you you know, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I'm back and forth on the whole whether you know,
Speaker 2: I hope. I hope that you are able to have
Speaker 2: further adventures in your life. I don't get, you know,
Speaker 2: I'm I'm kind of bullshitting myself because I don't see why,
Speaker 2: you know, just because I mean, we're a similar age,
Speaker 2: and I don't see why just because we turned some age,
Speaker 2: we're supposed to stop going on weird adventures. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think all that stuff is arbitrary. So I hope
Speaker 2: you continue to go on as many weird adventures as
Speaker 2: you want, you know, within the bounds of safety, of course, yeah.
Speaker 4: Which I mean, I always, I always. Sometimes I don't
Speaker 4: think in the moment, but I feel like I always
Speaker 4: do have a good gut feeling and I do have
Speaker 4: a good head on my shoulders and I kind of
Speaker 4: know when to draw the line and if I'm pushing
Speaker 4: that line a little too much. And like that's the
Speaker 4: thing too, is even just trying to date, it's hard
Speaker 4: to find guys that are gonna be like you did
Speaker 4: what you let a stranger take you where? Like okay, yeah,
Speaker 4: I did, I let a stranger take me somewhere, but
Speaker 4: like I don't know, I survived. I'm here.
Speaker 2: I guess that's a good point. I think about that
Speaker 2: all the time when like you ever meet somebody old
Speaker 2: and they tell you and they not old, but like
Speaker 2: like somebody who's like a crazy, reckless driver and they're
Speaker 2: like twenty five, yeah, and you're like, wow, you've probably
Speaker 2: been driving like this for nine years and you haven't died.
Speaker 2: It's pretty crazy. Yeah, And I think about that if
Speaker 2: I'm like ever in the car with them, I'll think
Speaker 2: about that, because I've been in a car with a
Speaker 2: crazy driver couple of times, and I like, while I'm
Speaker 2: praying that we're not going to die, I think to myself,
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, why, now, why would they if they've
Speaker 2: been driving like this every day for nine years, why
Speaker 2: would it be now with me in the car that
Speaker 2: they would crash.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you never know. It's one of those weird
Speaker 4: things that's like people are always like, I don't know
Speaker 4: how to say it. Like some people are like, if
Speaker 4: it's your time, it's your time, and like everything kind
Speaker 4: of happens for a reason, and like I think me
Speaker 4: getting this DUI kind of happened for a reason. It's
Speaker 4: super shitty, but it is an expensive lesson and I'm
Speaker 4: very thankful in a way because I've learned so much
Speaker 4: about myself and like where my priorities are and what
Speaker 4: I want out of life and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: Well, Lauren, is there anything else you want to say
Speaker 2: to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 4: I know you you said something about like everybody always
Speaker 4: say something inspirational. I thought about it. I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: I don't drink.
Speaker 2: A jive, but okay, so I'm just get there's a
Speaker 2: sign note real quick. One time I was I was
Speaker 2: not expecting this to go viral within the gecko community.
Speaker 2: But one time I said on the podcast, everyone always
Speaker 2: answers that, because I say at the end of every call,
Speaker 2: if it trens anything else you want to say, And
Speaker 2: I said one time that everyone always answers it with
Speaker 2: a motivational thing, and I think I said, you don't
Speaker 2: have to do that. And I said that once and
Speaker 2: now every time I ask the question, everyone responds by saying, oh,
Speaker 2: I know you don't like it when people say motivational things.
Speaker 2: All I was saying, I don't have to say something,
Speaker 2: but you say whatever, say whatever you want. Lauren.
Speaker 4: Okay, Okay, I think I'm gonna go with send the
Speaker 4: forty dollars on an uber because ten thousand dollars is
Speaker 4: not worth it.
Speaker 2: I like that. Uh, thank you for calling, Lauren. Have
Speaker 2: a rest of the night.
Speaker 4: You do by Oh.
Speaker 2: You know what, I'm going.
Speaker 4: To to Juana call from Kaylee?
Speaker 2: Hello, Hi, how's it going. It's going good? What's up? Kaylee?
Speaker 3: Not much? I'm just hanging out in bed?
Speaker 2: Wow? Are you are you? Are you comfy? Cozy? As
Speaker 2: they would say, comfy.
Speaker 1: Cozy, so comfy cozy.
Speaker 2: Rock and roll. That's a good place to be. Well,
Speaker 2: let's let's get a little uncomfortable, shall we. That's a
Speaker 2: weird thing to say. What's up? What's your name? Say
Speaker 2: your name one more time?
Speaker 4: Kaylee?
Speaker 2: Kayley, Okay, that's what I thought it was, Kaylee. What
Speaker 2: would you want to talk about today.
Speaker 3: Wow, I'm a little unhappy at where I am in
Speaker 3: my life right now in general, mostly because I'm in
Speaker 3: a PhD program and I have been thinking about leaving
Speaker 3: for like a year. Now.
Speaker 2: What PhD program are you in?
Speaker 3: I am getting my degree in molecular cell biology.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I can see why you want to quit. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it sounds awful. What made you want to do that?
Speaker 3: Well? In college, I ended up working in a research
Speaker 3: lab and I kind of liked it, and I was like, well,
Speaker 3: why not keep doing this for a little bit longer
Speaker 3: and so I can figure out a more like stable
Speaker 3: career path. So I figured grad school was a really
Speaker 3: great option, and now I hate my life.
Speaker 2: It's not. I mean, looking at cells, right, they move
Speaker 2: slightly every once in a while, don't they? Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah they do.
Speaker 1: It's so I ended up doing so.
Speaker 3: I ended up joining a cancer rec search labs. And
Speaker 3: one of the things that kind of goes through my
Speaker 3: head all the time is, Wow, cancer is like so
Speaker 3: hard to study. I don't know if anything I'll ever
Speaker 3: do will amount to any sort of treatment for anyone.
Speaker 3: So it just feels really futile and kind of like,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 2: It's funny. You know, I think it's so funny. Is
Speaker 2: just you represent this idea that, like, you know, humanity
Speaker 2: never finds the cure to cancer because you know, we
Speaker 2: just got bored.
Speaker 1: You know. I wish that. I wish that was.
Speaker 2: Bored of sitting in like all the scientists that we're
Speaker 2: working on it, we're looking at cells and writing things
Speaker 2: down and being like, this fucking sucks. I want to
Speaker 2: go get high and moved and play video games. This
Speaker 2: is fucking boring, And it's actually kind of cool that, Like,
Speaker 2: I mean, there's a lot of people who do do that,
Speaker 2: but as a whole science, even though it's boring to
Speaker 2: sit and look at cells, we still do it and
Speaker 2: that's cool.
Speaker 3: I feel like my there are there definitely are people
Speaker 3: that hate their lives in grad school because they think
Speaker 3: it's boring. I feel like I still definitely have an
Speaker 3: interest in science. It's just I think the whole process
Speaker 3: is overwhelming. I think the structure of academia is stupid.
Speaker 3: I don't know if what I want to do with
Speaker 3: my life now I necessarily need a PhD. There's all
Speaker 3: sorts of factors that that are contributing what you want.
Speaker 2: To do with your What do you want to do
Speaker 2: with your life? Now?
Speaker 3: That is a great question. I've always told myself that
Speaker 3: I don't want to be a professor or run a
Speaker 3: labor anything that I just want to go sell my
Speaker 3: soul and work for big pharma. But nice, but those
Speaker 3: jobs are so incredibly hard to get. And yeah, I
Speaker 3: don't know if I necessarily want to grow cells in
Speaker 3: a dish and give mice cancer anymore.
Speaker 2: You know, it's everyone shits on being a sellout, but
Speaker 2: they don't know how hard it is to get those
Speaker 2: sell out jobs. It's not easy selling out.
Speaker 3: Oh definitely, it's not.
Speaker 2: All right. Do you wanna uh, well, if you quit
Speaker 2: your PhD today, what would your what would tomorrow look like?
Speaker 3: Hmmm? Well, I think my my, my boss, and my
Speaker 3: lab would probably let me stay until I found this job,
Speaker 3: and I would probably start looking at jobs in science
Speaker 3: in my city. It's like there there there are some,
Speaker 3: so I think I I would probably be able to get.
Speaker 1: Something, but I don't know.
Speaker 3: I remember I reflect back to like, I'm just gonna
Speaker 3: sound really stupid. I reflect back to like high school
Speaker 3: when I was a cashier at a grocery store, and
Speaker 3: I like, really enjoyed talking to people, and I'm like,
Speaker 3: maybe I would like doing some retail or customer service
Speaker 3: for like a little while and then just to get
Speaker 3: my bearings. But I know, I'm sure lots of people
Speaker 3: in customer service are like yelling, being like, do not
Speaker 3: do that?
Speaker 2: Have you done? Wait? Hollo? I said, but you've done
Speaker 2: it before.
Speaker 3: I kind of so. I don't know if you count
Speaker 3: cashier at a grocery store as like retail.
Speaker 1: I kind of did.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how long were you doing that for?
Speaker 3: I just like two years in high school?
Speaker 2: Okay? And did anyone ever come in and spit on
Speaker 2: you and make you want to never do it ever again?
Speaker 3: No? But I did have weird middle aged men try
Speaker 3: and hit on me when I was like fifteen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, did well about But I don't I
Speaker 2: don't think what's your name again, Kayley. I don't think
Speaker 2: that the decision to be like looking at cells sucks.
Speaker 2: I want to do something with my hands and look
Speaker 2: at people and talk to them. I don't think it's
Speaker 2: a bad call. I don't think it's a bad call.
Speaker 2: Well because also, I mean, yeah, you say that people
Speaker 2: in customer service might be listening to this and screaming
Speaker 2: at you not to do it. But everyone's everyone's wired differently.
Speaker 2: They are so for there are some jobs that for
Speaker 2: some people are the you know, hellish, and then for
Speaker 2: other people they are you know, like you know, bagging
Speaker 2: groceries and talking to old ladies and stuff. So I
Speaker 2: don't think it's a bad move to. I don't think
Speaker 2: it's bad to you know, what is it two steps back,
Speaker 2: one step forward, or two steps back, three steps forward
Speaker 2: some shit like that, something.
Speaker 3: With steps the step steps like the.
Speaker 2: Steps at up to be good step but yeah, why not.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's just it's just such a big decision because
Speaker 3: if I left, I probably would never be able to
Speaker 3: go back and get a PhD if that's something I
Speaker 3: wanted to go back to, at least at the university
Speaker 3: on that now. So it's just a big can you.
Speaker 2: Just learn all that? Look, whatever you're learning in your PhD,
Speaker 2: I'm sure is on YouTube.
Speaker 3: I man, maybe I missed, Maybe I missed.
Speaker 4: A big video essay about how to cure cancer.
Speaker 2: I bet no, I bet I bet there's a guy
Speaker 2: on the YouTube who knows, like, here's how to cure
Speaker 2: cancer from a cell. It's you know, it's probably like
Speaker 2: a three hour long video, but you'll know how to
Speaker 2: do it by the end.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll have to do a deep dive definitely.
Speaker 2: Well, Kaylee, I'm glad that I was able to successfully
Speaker 2: convince you to make a major life decision.
Speaker 3: I'm appreciate it, Lyle, thank you so much.
Speaker 2: Is is there anything else you want to say to
Speaker 2: the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 3: No? I well, I know you get so many callers
Speaker 3: that are like, I've been listening to you for ages,
Speaker 3: but I'm kind of a recent caller. I started listening
Speaker 3: to your podcast like a couple of months ago, and
Speaker 3: oh cool.
Speaker 4: They definitely brightened my days.
Speaker 2: Cool. Thanks man, I'm glad you I'm glad it's no.
Speaker 2: I think that's awesome. I'm glad the new people are
Speaker 2: are are listening to the pod. I hope, I hope
Speaker 2: that you continue to listen for as long as you
Speaker 2: enjoy listening.
Speaker 4: You got it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll be back.
Speaker 4: Thanks again, Take care, Cayley, all right, have a good night.
Speaker 2: Karen cancer sounds boring as hell, never bek and goes
Speaker 2: on the line, thank yous all calls every night, never
Speaker 2: goes to what guy just teaching you?
Speaker 1: A loud and lively expert