Speaker 1: Scrubbing in with Becca Tilly and Tanya ren An iHeartRadio podcast. Hello,
Speaker 1: Happy Monday. Becca again is out of town. She actually
Speaker 1: left Haley today, So we have my other half, my boyfriend,
Speaker 1: Robbie Anagar scrubbing in. Good to be here. Thank you
Speaker 1: guys for having me. First of all, it's so cute
Speaker 1: how I like into this and excited you are. And
Speaker 1: we were driving over here and I was just kind
Speaker 1: of like looking at my arms and I was like,
Speaker 1: did think I got any color because we just got
Speaker 1: back from Cobbo And he was like save it for
Speaker 1: the air professional that I was really quiet. The whole
Speaker 1: drive over here is like, Okay, I think my parents
Speaker 1: would be so proud of me to finally fulfill their
Speaker 1: pretend dreams of me becoming a doctor and scrubbing in.
Speaker 1: So I think this is a it's a big moment
Speaker 1: for us, it's a big moment for everybody involved. I
Speaker 1: did talk to I message Becca because I don't know
Speaker 1: if you saw. There was video of Haley actually pulling
Speaker 1: Becca up and serenading her at one of her shows
Speaker 1: last night, and so I asked her and she said, basically,
Speaker 1: every night she sings us her song pretty girl to
Speaker 1: a fan, and because it was Becca's last night on
Speaker 1: the tour, she brought Becca out and sing it, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was really beautiful, beautiful. But Becca will be back
Speaker 1: next week, but for now. I message Becca in response
Speaker 1: to that post, actually, and she responded right before we
Speaker 1: got here, asking me if I'm ready for my debut? So, oh,
Speaker 1: are you nervous? A little bit nervous? Yeah, what are
Speaker 1: you nervous about? No, just I mean, I'm just a
Speaker 1: little bit nervous, never having done this before, but I'm good. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So basically what we would do now is we talk
Speaker 1: about our weekends. And it's very funny because we spent
Speaker 1: the whole weekend together, so it's gonna be we had
Speaker 1: a great weekend, similar stories. But what's interesting is, um,
Speaker 1: I did something. If you're scrubber, you know that I
Speaker 1: have vowed about something, vowed I would never do this
Speaker 1: in my current relationship, and I broke that vow this weekend. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's kind of a big deal, but it's actually really
Speaker 1: really funny. So we were leaving to go to Cabo.
Speaker 1: We had like an early flight out on Thursday, and
Speaker 1: we had a lot to do from when we woke
Speaker 1: up to when we left for the airport, and and
Speaker 1: so we woke up and I had to go peace.
Speaker 1: So I just you know, we have one toilet like normal,
Speaker 1: you know, we're not like Megan Trainer and have like
Speaker 1: two toilets in the bathroom. We just have one toilet.
Speaker 1: And so he was getting ready, like washing his face,
Speaker 1: doing his stuff at the sink, and I was like
Speaker 1: on the toilet, which is totally normal. I wasn't expecting
Speaker 1: this to happen. And you know that I'm like issues
Speaker 1: going to the bathroom, and so when it comes, like
Speaker 1: I have to just like let it come. And so
Speaker 1: I'm sitting there and I was like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I'm going to the bathroom. Wait. So so I'm I'm
Speaker 1: like getting ready and I look at her and she
Speaker 1: looks very focused, but like also like her eyes were
Speaker 1: like a little bit glazed over. And I made a
Speaker 1: comment I was saying, said I don't know what was
Speaker 1: going on. I said, you look you look like you're
Speaker 1: very tired. Because we woke up a little bit earlier
Speaker 1: than usual to make the fly. They said, you actually
Speaker 1: look a little bit tired, and she just like barely responded.
Speaker 1: It was just staring straight ahead with this like deer
Speaker 1: in the headlights look in her eyes and didn't find
Speaker 1: out what was actually going on until hours later, when
Speaker 1: she for some reason confessed. I didn't want to say thing,
Speaker 1: so I'm just like literally sitting there praying that he
Speaker 1: can't hear me or like know what's going on. And
Speaker 1: so then he eventually like leaves and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: like dodge that bullet. I get ready. We go to
Speaker 1: the Star go on our way to the airport, and
Speaker 1: I ended up saying I have to tell you something. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know that it needed to be confessed.
Speaker 1: I think we just would have gone forever not knowing
Speaker 1: that that happened. I mean, that's definitely a wall that
Speaker 1: we don't want to break. But I know, and I'm
Speaker 1: upset that I broke it, but I felt like it
Speaker 1: was so interesting. It just goes to show you how
Speaker 1: like I literally tell you everything because I felt weird
Speaker 1: not telling you that like that you had that you
Speaker 1: were holding it holding a lion. Yeah, Like I was like,
Speaker 1: I need to tell you something before we get to
Speaker 1: the airplant. Just for future reference, feel free to hold
Speaker 1: that back, but just in hindsight knowing that look on
Speaker 1: your face that that was what was going on. And
Speaker 1: I was trying to have a conversation with you and
Speaker 1: just weren't responding. Is so I was just like, I
Speaker 1: need him to get out of here asap. If I
Speaker 1: don't engage in conversation the quicker, he's going to get
Speaker 1: out of here. But no sound, no smell, no nothing,
Speaker 1: no no no. That was like a very stealth operation. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So the vacation started out with a bang, and we
Speaker 1: went to Cabo, had the best time, slept a lot,
Speaker 1: eight a lot. I put Robbie in charge of putting
Speaker 1: sunscreen on my back the first day, and I don't know,
Speaker 1: you can't obviously see my back, but my back is fried. No,
Speaker 1: in my front. There's like a little patch about my
Speaker 1: armpit that I didn't seem to get and right here
Speaker 1: a little bit and like a little bit right here.
Speaker 1: I did an expert job with the sunscreen, and yet
Speaker 1: somehow her back got totally burnt. Yeah, everywhere everywhere. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not much of a sun girly, you know, like
Speaker 1: I do like the sunshine. It's funny because my book
Speaker 1: is called The Sunshine Mine. But I try to stay
Speaker 1: out of the sun. But I put like fifty SPF
Speaker 1: on and still just fry just your back. They got
Speaker 1: fried literally just my birthday. Yea, yeah, interesting, right, that's
Speaker 1: what I said. I was like, we had the theory.
Speaker 1: She had the theory that she was laying on this
Speaker 1: day bed that was like particularly rough and maybe that
Speaker 1: came off in the morning, and then when she flipped
Speaker 1: over she got burnt. Yeah, but I'm positive that I
Speaker 1: apply that expertly to your back. Yeah, but yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: what happened there. But two day two on, you did
Speaker 1: not get burnt. Yeah, no burns, So maybe I did
Speaker 1: do it wrong on the first day. Yeah. Did you
Speaker 1: enjoy the trip? I love the trip. Um the hotel
Speaker 1: was beautiful. Robai got pooped on by a bird. I
Speaker 1: saw that on the internet. That's so lucky. Where do
Speaker 1: you guys fall on this being good luck or just
Speaker 1: being not good luck? I think it's bad luck. Yes,
Speaker 1: It's never happened to me, thankfully, and I don't want
Speaker 1: it too. But I just feel like it's a bad sign. Right,
Speaker 1: I've been pooped on by a bird a few times
Speaker 1: and it's never happened to you. Here is it happened
Speaker 1: to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good luck. I mean,
Speaker 1: so that's really good reference. Hana does not like to
Speaker 1: be on the microphone, so okay, just taking an informal pole. No. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of people in this room right now,
Speaker 1: we're asking everybody. Yeah. Yeah, it's basically fifty No. I
Speaker 1: think we have this weird thing where we where anything
Speaker 1: that is like just bad and sucks, we say is
Speaker 1: good luck. Like rain on your wedding day, being shot
Speaker 1: on by a bird. I think it's just you know,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to make people feel about word. Oh sorry,
Speaker 1: it's okaye, bleep yeah, let it fly. Um yeah, rain
Speaker 1: on the wedding day. That's ironic, you know, like like
Speaker 1: like the great um Alanis said, uh yeah, I've never
Speaker 1: been defecated on by any creature. Um And I'm trying
Speaker 1: to keep it that way. But I like the attitude
Speaker 1: of looking at it like it's good luck. Like well,
Speaker 1: I was going to say, because it happened on Sunday,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give it some time, but if luck comes
Speaker 1: your way, we're gonna attribute it to the I can
Speaker 1: attribute it to the word for sure. It was out
Speaker 1: of nowhere too. It wasn't like I was near a
Speaker 1: tree or anything out of nowhere. Yeah, I also do
Speaker 1: want to say so I for reference, I've told Robbie
Speaker 1: not to listen to the podcast. I was like, this
Speaker 1: is like girl talk and it's not really for you
Speaker 1: to hear or like listening on. So he kind of
Speaker 1: made that pack when we first started dating. But he
Speaker 1: does see the clips that go up on on Instagram,
Speaker 1: and so the other day he's like straight faced in
Speaker 1: the shower and he's like, hey, babe, and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: he goes, can you please start washing your feet for me?
Speaker 1: I was like, that's how we found out, That's how
Speaker 1: I found out. Well, that's good, right, that like you
Speaker 1: couldn't tell from an odor or anything like crust or
Speaker 1: anything like that. That's the thing the thing that I
Speaker 1: think I was like more shocked than anything because Tanya
Speaker 1: is otherwise one of the most hygienic people I know,
Speaker 1: like ultra hygienic, super clean with everything she does. So
Speaker 1: to find that out, I was just baffled. But thankfully
Speaker 1: she's come around and now she's uh she's on the
Speaker 1: foot washing. Yeah, make you curious what other parts of
Speaker 1: her she's not washing. I thought, I've been watching. I've
Speaker 1: been watching like intently. Not. Yeah, normally I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't pay attention to what you're watching. It to be
Speaker 1: watching everything. But since then I have been paying attention,
Speaker 1: and you're doing a really good job. Yeah, you did
Speaker 1: a great job. But she did all the other thing
Speaker 1: that she did recently that I thought was a little
Speaker 1: bit on the hygienic. Potentially, I was out of deodorant,
Speaker 1: and she offered for me to use hers, which I
Speaker 1: thought was very kind of I've done that before. I
Speaker 1: don't know if that's a deeply intimate thing. Oh maybe
Speaker 1: it is. I don't know. It's more dangerous for you, Tanya,
Speaker 1: because like you, they're gonna get hair on it, right.
Speaker 1: I just think it's like, it's just it's kind of gross.
Speaker 1: We swap spit every day. Okay, what do you think
Speaker 1: is what do you think is grosser? Sharing deodor and
Speaker 1: or sharing a toothbrush? I would share both of them
Speaker 1: with you, okay, but you have to pick so they're
Speaker 1: both totally fine. Yeah, Okay, the tooth pressures were I
Speaker 1: draw the line. Really I'm weird about I don't know why,
Speaker 1: but like I agree, like you're swapping DNA in other places,
Speaker 1: but the toothbrushes, I don't. I don't do that. It's
Speaker 1: funny because I would be more into using the chairing
Speaker 1: the toothbrush. I feel like the toothbrush is very clean.
Speaker 1: You know, it has toothpaste on it. Then you rinse
Speaker 1: it off like there's nothing, and it's like a plastic bristle,
Speaker 1: you know, it's like there's nothing going on there. It's
Speaker 1: like soap. Okay, soap soap, we agree, is self cleaning,
Speaker 1: Like if you use a bar of soap, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean maybe you wipe off like a little layer
Speaker 1: on top, but it's self cleaning, right, Okay, So I
Speaker 1: would use someone else as soap. The deodorant though, there's
Speaker 1: not a high chance of food getting in the in
Speaker 1: the armpit though, That's where I'm at, Like, there's like
Speaker 1: not gonna be a chewed up piece of steak in
Speaker 1: my armpit. Really, I don't want to share toothbrushes on
Speaker 1: the regular, but I just feel like it's not the
Speaker 1: grossest thing. Are there chewed up pieces of steak on
Speaker 1: your toothbrush? I mean when you're done brushing, well, I mean,
Speaker 1: if it did its job, you know, it's not my
Speaker 1: mouth anymore, you know, God willing, it's on the toothbrush.
Speaker 1: So you shared her deodorant. I did not share, just
Speaker 1: went with that. But I also like, I'm not I
Speaker 1: don't always wear to you. I like, not a smelly
Speaker 1: I don't have. Yeah, I don't have that. It's probably good, right.
Speaker 1: It is interesting, like if I went no deodorant for
Speaker 1: the amount of time that you do, I would be
Speaker 1: so smelly. I don't. I don't. I don't have smell.
Speaker 1: It's very annoying, kind of perfect and yeah, very bad.
Speaker 1: It's something I'm proud of you, not that I haven't
Speaker 1: had bo And it's terrible that if every day, if
Speaker 1: I didn't use deodor and I would be a little bit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can't get something. I was watching your Guys weekend
Speaker 1: on Instagram. Was really fine. I'm impressed with how hard
Speaker 1: you go on the workouts on vacation. Oh not every vacation,
Speaker 1: but this is vacation. This was like a reset. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is like a take care of ourselves, be healthy vacations.
Speaker 1: We're not really like drinking right now, so it was
Speaker 1: like we weren't hungover. We were like getting up with
Speaker 1: a little pep in our step and we want to
Speaker 1: have a couple of drinks. Yeah. We had like yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: not like how we normally go. Yeah yeah, yeah, no
Speaker 1: drinks at dinner. No drinks at dinner. We had like
Speaker 1: a beer, Like I had like a beer the first day.
Speaker 1: At lunch, I had a wine for me mescal margarite
Speaker 1: the second and then I had a Mexican meal the
Speaker 1: next day. You know, you got to do that. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: We were like, so there's two pools at the hotel.
Speaker 1: They have like a they having a I guess a
Speaker 1: quiet pool, and then they have a party pool. So
Speaker 1: we were hanging out at the quiet pool most of
Speaker 1: the time. It's like very chill, beautiful. But then this
Speaker 1: last day we want to mix it up, so we
Speaker 1: went to the party pool. We got some alcohol, and
Speaker 1: we made it a party. Yeah. It is pretty crazy
Speaker 1: because I like look at like some other vacations that
Speaker 1: we've gone on and like we raged so hard. We
Speaker 1: would like down like bottles of wine and then like
Speaker 1: drink at dinner, and this was like very much the opposite.
Speaker 1: We were just like, you know, recharging, that's good, yeah,
Speaker 1: but also I can't I can't day, drink and drink
Speaker 1: drink anymore. Also, we like working out together. We like
Speaker 1: I honestly like like doing everything with you. I do.
Speaker 1: I do too, like genuinely like I if I could
Speaker 1: have you with me all the time, I would. No,
Speaker 1: we're very much on the same WAYM length about so
Speaker 1: many things. Yeah, um, but let's get back to your
Speaker 1: tan real quick. Oh okay, So do you guys think
Speaker 1: that she got color? Yeah? I see it? Do you
Speaker 1: really yeah? I mean forgetting the red red spots of color? Yeah,
Speaker 1: my face looked tan. Well I don't think you got that.
Speaker 1: I thought that much. Call. I mean while I'm like,
Speaker 1: I feel like I look like, yeah, you got tan
Speaker 1: straight out of a Ricky Martin video or something. Very
Speaker 1: I did. Also just want to say, oh there, Okay.
Speaker 1: So there's a couple of things. There was a lot
Speaker 1: of questions from scrubbers that I want to get into,
Speaker 1: but we can get into those because we'll get into
Speaker 1: this a little bit later. Um, I do want to
Speaker 1: talk about just because this is super out of your
Speaker 1: comfort zone to be doing this. I feel like when
Speaker 1: we first started dating, I said that you were a businessman.
Speaker 1: I just like kept it very page like could anybody
Speaker 1: ask me he has a briefcase. Yeah, Harry's a briefcase.
Speaker 1: He's just like a businessman. And you're so you're doing
Speaker 1: a great job. By the way, thank you, You're welcome.
Speaker 1: But I wanted you to talk about what you actually
Speaker 1: do for a living, because I like, I know what
Speaker 1: you do, like I know, I know what you do,
Speaker 1: and I know what it's all. I know exactly what
Speaker 1: you do. Um. But for people listening that may not know,
Speaker 1: how would you describe it? Well? So the funny thing
Speaker 1: about that is that for a period of time, the
Speaker 1: picture that Tanya had of me on our phone was
Speaker 1: a briefcase, which is like a little bit of an
Speaker 1: inside joke. But uh, no, I'm not a businessman. I'm well,
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess I am a businessman on some level,
Speaker 1: but no, I'm a I'm a lawyer. I'm a corporate lawyer,
Speaker 1: transactional court attorney, corporate transactional attorney, which means that we
Speaker 1: don't litigate, don't go to court, don't argue or deal attorneys. Um.
Speaker 1: I'll get into kind of that a little bit more.
Speaker 1: But so I have a small firm of Beverly Hills
Speaker 1: UM and we represent um, early to middle stage companies, entrepreneurs,
Speaker 1: wealthy individuals, professionals, got it doing all kinds of transactions.
Speaker 1: So this is what I would say too, right, Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: somebody who asked me what you did, this is what
Speaker 1: you'd say. All right. So we do everything from like
Speaker 1: two people starting a company to raising money for their company, um,
Speaker 1: all the way through you know M and A, which
Speaker 1: is mergers and acquisitions, which is buying or selling their company. Yes,
Speaker 1: everyone's nodding here. This is really boring and jobs. So yeah,
Speaker 1: and then we do kind of every day every kind
Speaker 1: of type of commercial contract, day to day commercial contractor between.
Speaker 1: So basically anything contract related I do. Yeah, he's your guy.
Speaker 1: I'm your guy. You have a contract, hit up Robbie Outagar. No,
Speaker 1: actually did my entire book deal. Wow. Yeah. I didn't
Speaker 1: want to get anybody like, we didn't want to involve
Speaker 1: any other person besides like Raquel and myself, and so
Speaker 1: we needed somebody to kind of hash out the legalness
Speaker 1: of it all. And I'm the guy. He was the guy.
Speaker 1: How aggressive of a negotiator are you when it comes
Speaker 1: to that kind of stuff? Uh? It depends, I mean,
Speaker 1: it just depends on the deal. I can be super
Speaker 1: aggressive and I can be very kind of laid back,
Speaker 1: just depends on the deal. Why No, It's just like
Speaker 1: that's such a hard thing for most people to do,
Speaker 1: I think, especially like on their own behalf. And I'm
Speaker 1: always so curious about that part of it because it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, don't want to blow the whole thing. We
Speaker 1: also want to get the most money for your client. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I mean lawyers, breaking deals is definitely a thing, and
Speaker 1: sometimes it has to happen if the other side is
Speaker 1: being unreasonable. I don't break many deals. I really try
Speaker 1: to get the deal done. But but yeah, I always
Speaker 1: in the best interest of my clients. So you're right,
Speaker 1: it's a tricky thing, but you know, we get it done.
Speaker 1: We close deals. Try dating an attorney. It's so funny
Speaker 1: because whenever we get into fights, which isn't often, but
Speaker 1: like we have disagreements and stuff. But it's so funny
Speaker 1: because I can see like everything is through your attorney lens,
Speaker 1: and I feel like I will like bring that up.
Speaker 1: I'll say, like, this is an attorney, Robbie, this is
Speaker 1: relationship heart dealing Robbie. Because he can get so argue
Speaker 1: all the sides, and I'm like, we're not doing this
Speaker 1: right now, but very logical, Like I'm I think I
Speaker 1: became a lawyer because I'm a very logical person and
Speaker 1: that's the way I think, Like I always you know,
Speaker 1: any very emotional person, right, I'm emotional too, Yeah, but
Speaker 1: I'm I'm like logic driven and like on the l side,
Speaker 1: like logic portion was my best score. So I'm a
Speaker 1: very logical person. But I'm not a litigator, Like I
Speaker 1: don't I don't argue every day. I'm not trying to argue.
Speaker 1: I try to make deals. So we're to fight. I
Speaker 1: try to bring us together trying to do it's Actually
Speaker 1: we went to the J. Shetty Show and he did
Speaker 1: this whole segment. He does this whole segment about like
Speaker 1: fight styles, and it was kind of this like Eureka
Speaker 1: moment because he described the three different fight styles and
Speaker 1: I was like very much. I can't remember the names now,
Speaker 1: but I was very much in one category and Robbie
Speaker 1: was like very much in the other category. And it
Speaker 1: made me kind of like go, like, oh, this actually
Speaker 1: makes a lot of sense because Robbie is the kind
Speaker 1: of guy. If we're getting an argument he needs time
Speaker 1: away to like process and everything, And because I am
Speaker 1: the way that I am, always felt like that would
Speaker 1: give me so much anxiety if he wanted to like
Speaker 1: step away, take a day or take a night, like
Speaker 1: you know, to discuss it the next day. I was
Speaker 1: always just like, no, we got to do it now.
Speaker 1: It would do it now, would do now, and it's
Speaker 1: we have to figure out, well, I think we have
Speaker 1: figured out a way how to like compromise. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: For me, it's really more I just need time to
Speaker 1: digest what is going on between us and kind of
Speaker 1: what we're really arguing about and how I feel about
Speaker 1: that thing I don't necessarily know right away. And also
Speaker 1: I feel when you say I need to take time,
Speaker 1: like if he says I need to get back to
Speaker 1: this tomorrow, I get so anxious. Yeah, I get anxious
Speaker 1: because I'm an anxious, attached person. And so I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: he's just like got one foot out the door, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like that's where my head goes.
Speaker 1: And it's like, actually, not the case at all. But
Speaker 1: I found it to be very interesting. So Hannah is
Speaker 1: handed me a thing. It's venting, hiding and exploding or
Speaker 1: the three different types, right, I'm the venting, you're the hiding.
Speaker 1: I don't love yeah, because I don't. I'm really not
Speaker 1: trying to hide. I think. I also think that you
Speaker 1: need time to process. But I also think generally across
Speaker 1: any relationship, it must be beneficial to not discuss things
Speaker 1: when emotions are high. I just think you're better off
Speaker 1: waiting for emotions to cool down a little bit, even
Speaker 1: if the feelings are still there. There's kind of you know,
Speaker 1: when you're in the middle of that fight or argument,
Speaker 1: you're emotionally wound up, and I just think that you're
Speaker 1: better off waiting forgetting like my need to digest the issue.
Speaker 1: I just think everyone is better off waiting until emotions
Speaker 1: kind of calmed down a little bit. It's a really
Speaker 1: fun dating lawyer. Do you not agree with that? No,
Speaker 1: I'm joking, I do. I do. I do. It is bad.
Speaker 1: I think you are very good for me in that
Speaker 1: sense because I am very emotional and you are really logical,
Speaker 1: and I know that about you, So I know always
Speaker 1: when you're like saying like we need we need to
Speaker 1: be when to come back to this, Like, I'm always like, Okay,
Speaker 1: he's right. Usually come back to what's just as much
Speaker 1: fire and emotion but like still but also you tend
Speaker 1: to bring things up at like nine fifty pm, you know,
Speaker 1: we're like trying to wind down and go to straight up,
Speaker 1: and I'm just like all I want to do is
Speaker 1: go to sleep. That's usually the time I either I
Speaker 1: fight most right before a bed, or I stare at him.
Speaker 1: Oh the staring. I'll be like watching TV, so like
Speaker 1: the TV's like to the right of the bed, and
Speaker 1: I'm just like staring straight at him. So awkward. I mean,
Speaker 1: I can just imagine, just picture that We're like we're
Speaker 1: cuddled watching I'm watching TV, but she's staring at me
Speaker 1: and I'm staring over her head at the TV. It's
Speaker 1: so I used to not know how to react to it.
Speaker 1: Now I just ignored and like give her like a
Speaker 1: weird side glance like you're doing it, you know, like
Speaker 1: hopefully like he'll point at the TV. Are you looking
Speaker 1: for something in return, like if you want him to
Speaker 1: stare back at you or do you want to turn
Speaker 1: the TV off? Or what's the end goal with the
Speaker 1: tape of behavior? You know, it depends on the day.
Speaker 1: Sometimes my staring means like seduce, me. Sometimes I'm just
Speaker 1: like admiring him and just like having these like thoughts
Speaker 1: of you know, happiness. At other times, I just don't
Speaker 1: care what's on the TV. It sounds really nice, the
Speaker 1: thoughts of happiness thing, but it doesn't make it any
Speaker 1: less freaky. Sometimes I'll like, honest like, sometimes I'll like
Speaker 1: actually like turn my head to the TV. Um, Okay,
Speaker 1: we have to take a quick break. We're gonna come back,
Speaker 1: and I do want us to go through. We're really
Speaker 1: big into Love is Blind season four, so I want
Speaker 1: us to give our predictions because I saw a lot
Speaker 1: of scuttle in the Facebook group about people that are
Speaker 1: watching that show. Excellent season of Love Is Blind. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then we're gonna get into some questions from the
Speaker 1: scrubbers and just a quick little blip in the hot
Speaker 1: topics when we come back. You know, some people would
Speaker 1: say that they were blessed to be adored by somebody
Speaker 1: as much as I thought. You definitely blast, but it
Speaker 1: is insane one of the many funny things that you
Speaker 1: do that I love about you. Okay, So Love is
Speaker 1: Blind season four, We're just so I don't know how
Speaker 1: they did it this year, but they basically like frontloaded
Speaker 1: all their episodes except for the final episode and then
Speaker 1: the reunions. So there's two episodes left, and there's four episodes.
Speaker 1: We don't really know. We don't know. It looked like
Speaker 1: last night there were four episodes left. Basically they left,
Speaker 1: They showed everything except for the I do so like
Speaker 1: the very last episode, and I don't know how long
Speaker 1: it's been out, but basically the new episode comes out
Speaker 1: April thirteenth, So we're all kind of stuck in this
Speaker 1: like eating period. So I just want to go through
Speaker 1: the couples and Robbie and I are going to make
Speaker 1: our predictions and then we'll see who wins. Okay, So
Speaker 1: we're basically gonna say whether they say yes or no,
Speaker 1: and what we think for each couple. Um, okay, kwam
Speaker 1: So Kwami for me is a no. I think he's
Speaker 1: gonna say no. I think that he you can just
Speaker 1: say yes or no. We gonn't have to go in. Oh,
Speaker 1: we don't want to get into it. Okay, No, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say yes. Kwami's gonna say yes. What about Chelsea?
Speaker 1: Chelsea we already we already know said yes and she
Speaker 1: said she was gonna say yes. I think there's no
Speaker 1: mystery there. Yeah, so I'm saying yes too, all right, Brett,
Speaker 1: So Brett and Tiffany for me or yes is not
Speaker 1: to get ahead, but I think they're like the most
Speaker 1: solid couple. I would be shocked if there was a
Speaker 1: no there. I put yes for Brett and Tiffany as well. Okay,
Speaker 1: Mica hard no, Mica is a hard no on Paul? Okay,
Speaker 1: I said yes for Mica. And what about Paul. Paul's yes, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I said yes for Paul too. Okay, what about Zach
Speaker 1: Zach is for sure yes? I said Zach is for
Speaker 1: sure yes as well. And then what about Bliss? Bliss
Speaker 1: is a no? I said yes for Bliss as well.
Speaker 1: So I basically said yes for every single person. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you said yes for everybody, which is not going to happen,
Speaker 1: So you're gonna be wrong. It's a hopeful. I'm just
Speaker 1: hoping for the best for all of them. I just
Speaker 1: can't see. I mean, we don't want to talk about
Speaker 1: it at all, you just want to just yes. I
Speaker 1: just can't see Mica and Paul ending up together at all.
Speaker 1: I think that that doesn't it's not a couple that works.
Speaker 1: And then Bliss has got to come to her senses
Speaker 1: on this Zach guy, because that's just he's just too
Speaker 1: weird for me. He is there's something so off putting
Speaker 1: about him, and I like to give people the benefit
Speaker 1: of the doubt, but he is so if I was
Speaker 1: in a room with him, like I would be nervous. Yeah,
Speaker 1: no's a he has like this weird energy. He seems
Speaker 1: like a genuinely nice guy, which is why I feel
Speaker 1: conflicted saying, but he's he's such creep vibes that it's
Speaker 1: hard to Yeah, so I'm excited. What are we gonna bet? Well,
Speaker 1: I just I'm so. I just don't like that we
Speaker 1: can't binge it. It's I don't even understand the format.
Speaker 1: If we're gonna be able to watch all of them
Speaker 1: next week or are they gonna be one every week?
Speaker 1: I think it's I think the final episode of is
Speaker 1: like all their weddings and one. We're gonna be able
Speaker 1: to binge the ending. Well, but we've already seen half
Speaker 1: of Kwamie and Chelsea's wedding. We're waiting for Kwamie to
Speaker 1: say something. Then they're going to go to a new wedding. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I think so you said not that, you said
Speaker 1: that they're gonna I don't know, Okay, I don't really know.
Speaker 1: But what are we betting on? I like, what's the bet?
Speaker 1: If I win? I don't think our bets are appropriate.
Speaker 1: I will make that bet. Tell anyone a bet when
Speaker 1: we were on vacation, which but what did I know
Speaker 1: one the air? Oh yeah, I didn't win a bet
Speaker 1: on vacation. I love winning beat, especially when they're on
Speaker 1: vacation and they are not appropriate. I thought I had
Speaker 1: that in the bag. We can say with the bet,
Speaker 1: not the stakes of the bet, but what was the Yeah,
Speaker 1: we had a friend. We have a friend who posted
Speaker 1: on her story that the movie Air, which is the
Speaker 1: NEWE Yef movie. She posted, Air is the best movie ever,
Speaker 1: and we had just seen it. We had just seen it,
Speaker 1: and we and I have I know friends whom you
Speaker 1: know are kind of the influencer types of guests who
Speaker 1: who have all been promoting this movie and I've seen it,
Speaker 1: Air is the best movie ever. Yea, So I really like,
Speaker 1: genuinely like loved the movie, Like I came out feeling
Speaker 1: very much a certain type of way. So continue on. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so we saw this friend post it and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I think I think So and SO
Speaker 1: is is promoting. She said, no, I think it's genuine.
Speaker 1: And we made the bet and turned out it was
Speaker 1: a genuine wow, genuine post, which I was shocked at
Speaker 1: because it's certainly not the best movie ever. Um soundtrack
Speaker 1: was great, but socially won the bet and I was
Speaker 1: that was dated. Yeah, just a little food for thought.
Speaker 1: When it is promotional, they have to put ads somewhere
Speaker 1: on the Oh, so you kind of cheated, not not cheated,
Speaker 1: I just knew. Okay, air partner hashtag air partner info,
Speaker 1: we will, we will. Mean that's already been paid off,
Speaker 1: so there's not really about that. It was a win win.
Speaker 1: Let's just say that. Oh man, okay, Um, we're gonna
Speaker 1: go into some question. Oh actually, let's discuss some of
Speaker 1: the biggest stories over the weekend, because it was a
Speaker 1: very pop and weekend. While we were on vacation, I
Speaker 1: was bombarded with the news at Taylor Swift and Joe
Speaker 1: all Win, after six years of dating, have called it quits.
Speaker 1: Very sad. You did not even know they were dating,
Speaker 1: but it's still sad. I know. Actually I was reading
Speaker 1: some of the stories and I'm like, why did we
Speaker 1: not see this coming? She? You know, she she replaced
Speaker 1: invisible String in her set with um the one. Invisible
Speaker 1: string is about the love that yes, yes, fun fact,
Speaker 1: Hey babe, she replaced invisible string with the one, and
Speaker 1: the one is about kind of like it could have
Speaker 1: been you, Like, you know, so we were anything, so
Speaker 1: it could have been you. So you're saying that that
Speaker 1: was reference to them breaking up? Yeah, I think so
Speaker 1: you replace the song that's about this chismic connection with
Speaker 1: somebody and you replace it with like, oh, it could
Speaker 1: have been you. Feels significant if you ask me for it. Yeah. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't know. How do you feel about the news?
Speaker 1: Are you? Like? I was shocked? I was. I was too. Um.
Speaker 1: I really thought they were going to be together forever.
Speaker 1: I don't know too much about him, you know, but
Speaker 1: I like the idea they'd been together for so long
Speaker 1: and dating her must be the craziest thing in the world.
Speaker 1: So that's what I was reading. I was reading on
Speaker 1: people basically like they had insider you know, sources or whatever,
Speaker 1: saying that it was their personal differences in their personalities
Speaker 1: and that he never could really he was never on
Speaker 1: board or on board, but her level of fame was
Speaker 1: never something that he was comfortable. Those were two very
Speaker 1: different things. It's either, I mean, is it her personality
Speaker 1: or is it personality if him wanting to be away
Speaker 1: from the limelight and hers liking to be in the limelight. Okay,
Speaker 1: but what about all the other stuff like her like
Speaker 1: I mean, from what I barely know about her, very
Speaker 1: you know, very emotional person. Is it about that stuff
Speaker 1: or is it just about the fame stuff? Do you think? Um? Look,
Speaker 1: I mean these articles don't share much, so that's all
Speaker 1: they said. But I do find it interesting because they've
Speaker 1: written songs together. They wrote he worked on I think
Speaker 1: it was nine songs. And I think Becca's take on
Speaker 1: this didn't she like, didn't she recently have a whole
Speaker 1: thing about how she could tell if people were going
Speaker 1: to stay together? And yeah she did. We didn't detail
Speaker 1: they were not on the list. I mean, they weren't
Speaker 1: even in consideration they did seem so strong. There's no
Speaker 1: way she could have predicted this. No, I know. But
Speaker 1: you know what, if he can't handle her fame, then
Speaker 1: he can take a hike because she will always be jewels. Okay.
Speaker 1: Is insane though yeah, her fame is pretty big. He
Speaker 1: co wrote Um Sweet Nothing just on Midnights, but then
Speaker 1: he did some on Folklore and on Evermore too. That's
Speaker 1: right under the pen name William Bowery. Yeah. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: if he is also a songwriter, maybe there was some
Speaker 1: jealousy there. He's not by treason actor. I think he
Speaker 1: just did it so they could like like, how you're
Speaker 1: doing this with me? You know? Okay, but then still
Speaker 1: he wants he's an actor. Maybe he like was jealous
Speaker 1: of the fame as opposed to that. Yeah, it's interesting
Speaker 1: because I'm like, how are you an actor but you
Speaker 1: don't want to be in the limelight, Like, and didn't
Speaker 1: you start dating her when she was a peak? She
Speaker 1: was already like yeah, you know the supernova she is now?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't trust right, so you can't
Speaker 1: get into it ign for this. Yeah, yeah, you're right,
Speaker 1: I don't trust this guy. Moving on, good riddance, good
Speaker 1: goodbye Joe, Goodbye Joe, onto our next era. And then
Speaker 1: the other news this weekend, Well, this isn't like anything
Speaker 1: to discuss, but we want to say congratulations to Olivia
Speaker 1: Colpo and Christian McCaffrey who got engaged over the weekend.
Speaker 1: We love Olivia Colbo, so happy, We love Christian McCaffrey
Speaker 1: and fantasy football. Yes, so hopefully this kind of energizes
Speaker 1: him in the upcoming season. Oh that's yes, Yes, it
Speaker 1: is funny. I will d m Olivia being like, my
Speaker 1: boyfriend has your boyfriend on his team? I did, I
Speaker 1: did this every year we redraft. But yeah, yeah right,
Speaker 1: I'm so exciting news for them. And then Kylie Jenner
Speaker 1: and Timothey Chalome are dating. This shook me to my core.
Speaker 1: Didn't see it coming. I'm not sure what it is.
Speaker 1: Happy for her, happy for him. I know very little
Speaker 1: about either of them, but I will say it just
Speaker 1: seems like to me, these things are very pr to me,
Speaker 1: I don't know, yeah, like the Kardashians are always going
Speaker 1: after Like like Timothy Chalomi is kind of like the
Speaker 1: sex symbol right now, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 1: he's like the guy you know, Like I know nothing
Speaker 1: and I know that, yeah you know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I couldn't pick him out of a lineup, but I
Speaker 1: hear he's very sexy. But also like I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know who she normally dates, but like I'm saying. So,
Speaker 1: I mean, it's interesting question. People have types. Clearly she doesn't.
Speaker 1: But clearly she doesn't Travis Scott. She's with Tiger. Is
Speaker 1: that right? Am I missing someone to be honest? Right? Yes? Okay, yes, okay,
Speaker 1: uh yeah, I mean that's a pattern that she's breaking
Speaker 1: with Timota. It's exciting, Timid, It is exciting, you know.
Speaker 1: And you know what, if there's anything that Calling in
Speaker 1: the One taught me, it's that your dating patterns are
Speaker 1: if they're leading you down to not the right path,
Speaker 1: you should break those patterns. And maybe she read Calling
Speaker 1: in the One and she realized that her dating pattern
Speaker 1: was not great and she's like, I'm going to switch
Speaker 1: it up, and she met Timoda and here we are.
Speaker 1: So we'll definitely be keeping you posted on all things.
Speaker 1: We'll be watching with great interest. Yes, watching with great,
Speaker 1: great interest. Okay. So I wanted to ask some of
Speaker 1: the questions that Scrubber has had for you in particular, babe, Okay,
Speaker 1: and then we're gonna get into We have a couple
Speaker 1: extra emails because I wanted, you know, um, if people
Speaker 1: wanted your male perspective, which I think is unique because
Speaker 1: again we were saying how you're very a very logical person. Um,
Speaker 1: I do think that you would give really good insight
Speaker 1: because it is funny, like he Robbie goes into the
Speaker 1: Facebook group and he'll be like, did you see you
Speaker 1: what they were asking? Facebook group is my favorite thing
Speaker 1: on the internet and give your opinions. Easton is incredible
Speaker 1: in there because he'll get in there and start mixing
Speaker 1: it up in the comments. But it's really no can
Speaker 1: I just say it's really let's just take a second here,
Speaker 1: because that Facebook group is amazing forgetting we'll get to
Speaker 1: the entertainment value. It's so cool that you and Becca
Speaker 1: and all of you who are part of this podcast,
Speaker 1: and I've said it before, have created this unbelievable community
Speaker 1: of girls and women, UM. And I guess some men,
Speaker 1: but primarily girls and women across the country and the
Speaker 1: world who um have come together like this where they
Speaker 1: trust each other, they support each other, they give advice,
Speaker 1: they literally help each other, um financially in certain situations. Um. Uh,
Speaker 1: It's it's just a really beautiful thing. Um. But then
Speaker 1: this Facebook group is just I go. I look at
Speaker 1: it multiple times a day. I haven't used Facebook in
Speaker 1: years other than you're like wishing, what happy birthday? But
Speaker 1: I go to multipimes a day and you'll have, you know,
Speaker 1: you'll have one post that is a deeply heartfelt emotional
Speaker 1: life crisis, you know, post for of somebody who really
Speaker 1: needs kind of help and advice. Um, And then the
Speaker 1: next one will be about you know, what to do
Speaker 1: with your butt crack hair. And then the next one
Speaker 1: will be you know this in you know, someone's going
Speaker 1: for promotion and and you know, give whatever advice I
Speaker 1: need for this you know, life accomplishment, whatever it is.
Speaker 1: And the next one will be advice about you know,
Speaker 1: how to have a threesome with you know, my husband,
Speaker 1: and this you know, such a such a person. It's
Speaker 1: just the best of all worlds. You laugh, you cry, Um,
Speaker 1: but you guys creat you guys are creating community. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So we went to the Facebook group, and so I
Speaker 1: wanted to do some more like um, those man only
Speaker 1: type questions. So we have a couple extra emails on
Speaker 1: Hunna pulled um that we're gonna get to, but I
Speaker 1: wanted to fire off some of these kind of more
Speaker 1: rapid fire questions for you if you don't mind, no shoot, Okay, uh,
Speaker 1: what qualities do you think Becca brings out of Tanya. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a good question. So I actually think you guys
Speaker 1: are way more similar than people, uh think. So obviously
Speaker 1: the food stuff. You know, your diets are very different,
Speaker 1: and you're sleeping patterns are very different. Um, you're funny.
Speaker 1: She's not really that funny, Okay. Um, uh, she's very
Speaker 1: You're very funny back, I really mean it. Um uh No.
Speaker 1: But the quality, I mean, I don't if it's a quality,
Speaker 1: but you definitely like hold on to me less hard
Speaker 1: in pictures now, um, which is nice, less grasping the
Speaker 1: claw like. Yeah. I think Becca is able to point
Speaker 1: that out in me correct. Yeah. Okay, so that's probably
Speaker 1: the big one. Okay. Um, what song does Robbie think
Speaker 1: describes your relationship? Well, I think we have we have
Speaker 1: one song that is really meaningful to both of us,
Speaker 1: the Bones song, which I think just goes to kind of, um,
Speaker 1: the foundation, the strength of the foundation of our relationship
Speaker 1: and the fact that it's built on um, a really
Speaker 1: strong foundation of trust and and loyalty and respect and admiration. Um.
Speaker 1: So that's a you know that I would say is
Speaker 1: number one. But then there was also I don't even
Speaker 1: know the name of it. But when we were at
Speaker 1: jingle Ball and Lewis Capality saying that one song, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's called Pointless. Yeah, yeah, that sounds right.
Speaker 1: That sounds right, that song. Like I was like, I
Speaker 1: was just you weren't with me at the time because
Speaker 1: you were doing stuff for the show and I'm sitting
Speaker 1: there and that words were on the screen, you know,
Speaker 1: and it was kind of karaoke style going through the words,
Speaker 1: and I was just definitely like, thought about you a
Speaker 1: lot doing that song. It's really cute because that song
Speaker 1: just came out that day, so I hadn't even heard it,
Speaker 1: and he was watching it and he told me that
Speaker 1: night he was like, that Louis Capaldi song, it's like
Speaker 1: our song made me think of you. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I have no idea. I didn't even know. And then
Speaker 1: I listened to Yeah, I like sounds dark, but okay
Speaker 1: that I listened to it later on and I was like,
Speaker 1: really really beautiful, and so I thought that was really
Speaker 1: really sweet that you just like because he's not much
Speaker 1: of a lyrics guy, you know. He ye, I'm not
Speaker 1: a lyrics guy. I much prefer the music. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: I remember when we were like newly dating. There was
Speaker 1: Leon Bridge's song and it's called Beyond, and it basically
Speaker 1: talks about like she might just be my everything and
Speaker 1: via it's all about like making her his wife and
Speaker 1: like all this stuff. And I remember, so this is
Speaker 1: so good. So like he made like a I swear
Speaker 1: you said something about the song. Oh, I'm sure, I'm sure.
Speaker 1: In the moment, I said something about how oh that
Speaker 1: you know that's like, uh so that reminds me of you.
Speaker 1: So I stuck with it for years. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, this song makes him think of me,
Speaker 1: like he wants to be he wants me to be
Speaker 1: his wife, like all this stuff. Yes, this one, Yeah,
Speaker 1: this doesn't have any of the lyrics, but I don't
Speaker 1: get ahead feeling things on there. But it's kind of
Speaker 1: hard for me to explain her personal So now years
Speaker 1: later I made a passing comment for a split second.
Speaker 1: Years later, every time the song comes on, she said,
Speaker 1: do you remember when you said that? He's like, no idea,
Speaker 1: I said that, but yeah, song's been so meaningful to
Speaker 1: me for like two years. Now. What is the most
Speaker 1: difficult part of dating with kids? Oh? So that's a
Speaker 1: that's a that's a really an important question, I think, UM,
Speaker 1: one that I can not just how difficult it is.
Speaker 1: I mean, there's so many aspects of it, the difficult,
Speaker 1: the great um uh and something I can probably talk
Speaker 1: about at depth maybe at a different time in different place, UM.
Speaker 1: But I mean, I do you know when I first
Speaker 1: got separated and then divorced, UM, I found that a
Speaker 1: lot of guys in particular, but also some some some
Speaker 1: girls women who were getting divorced kind of shortly after me,
Speaker 1: around the same time as me, UM, for whatever reason,
Speaker 1: would come to me for advice and to kind of
Speaker 1: get my thoughts on all aspects of kind of that
Speaker 1: process because it's it is so challenging in so many ways,
Speaker 1: and certainly the kids are the most important part of that.
Speaker 1: And it's something that I you know, I probably you
Speaker 1: know should I mean I thought about it afterwards, kind
Speaker 1: of spending time and maybe creating something to address that,
Speaker 1: UM or help help people or give my advice to people.
Speaker 1: So I'd be happy to like talk about that more
Speaker 1: in depth, UM maybe somewhere else. But as far as
Speaker 1: kind of the framework around the kids, you know that
Speaker 1: they're the number one most important priority for me when
Speaker 1: I was going through everything and it continues. It doesn't
Speaker 1: end right that the process continues, it just changes over time.
Speaker 1: So the most difficult part is the fact that, uh,
Speaker 1: oh my god, there's a lot of difficult parts. The
Speaker 1: most difficult part, I mean, really they really are. But
Speaker 1: I think the most difficult part is is the fact
Speaker 1: that they despite you know, how wonderful I mean, I can,
Speaker 1: I can talk about our situation specifically, despite how wonderful
Speaker 1: you are and how great you are to them and
Speaker 1: with them, UM, you know, they're going through their own
Speaker 1: process too that is really entirely separate from you, the
Speaker 1: person UM and this you know that the other, the
Speaker 1: step person coming in UM, and you know you have
Speaker 1: to give them space to deal with that, while at
Speaker 1: the same time making sure that you're building and fostering
Speaker 1: the relationship with that you're significant other and the person
Speaker 1: that you bring into that. So that dichotomy of what
Speaker 1: they're going through personally and the challenges that they're going through,
Speaker 1: and then also kind of bridging that with transitioning to
Speaker 1: kind of a new future or to a new person,
Speaker 1: a different person out of mean to saying new, but
Speaker 1: a different person is really challenging and it's interesting for me.
Speaker 1: I could talk about it for days too, because it's
Speaker 1: it is so complex, there's so much to it. Because
Speaker 1: I remember when we first started dating, like I wanted
Speaker 1: to meet them a month in and I couldn't wrap
Speaker 1: my head around you not wanting to introduce me to them,
Speaker 1: because I was like, how are you supposed to know?
Speaker 1: You know? But it is this like fine line of
Speaker 1: like you don't want and you were so adamant. You
Speaker 1: were like, I don't want them to just meet women
Speaker 1: in my life. I don't want it to be this
Speaker 1: open door policy where they're just like meeting whoever I'm dating.
Speaker 1: I wanted to really really mean something and in a
Speaker 1: weird way, like it was really hard for me. But
Speaker 1: looking back on that year where we did, like I
Speaker 1: hadn't met them, it kind of was because you know me,
Speaker 1: when I go in and a relationship, like I'm like
Speaker 1: all in, and I feel like it gave us that
Speaker 1: built in space that I don't think I would have
Speaker 1: accepted otherwise, and it was like, Okay, he's with his kids,
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? Whereas like when I'm
Speaker 1: like all and I go in on a relationship I
Speaker 1: want to be with you twenty four to seven, and
Speaker 1: I feel like I'd dive in, and so it was
Speaker 1: like a nice thing for me to be able to
Speaker 1: kind of have that separation. Yeah, I know, the built
Speaker 1: in separation. Yeah, I get it now, you're I think
Speaker 1: you're right. So I look back on that and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm grateful that we that we had that time.
Speaker 1: And I also think two now on the flip side,
Speaker 1: I think the kids knowing how much care and thought
Speaker 1: and intention you put into introducing me to them, you know,
Speaker 1: like you didn't just introduce me, because then you never
Speaker 1: lied to them about who I was or you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, like our relationship or when we started dating,
Speaker 1: any of that stuff. You know, you said like I
Speaker 1: didn't want to introduce you, guys, I didn't. I wanted
Speaker 1: it to be somebody that I knew was important enough
Speaker 1: to meet you. I feel like now they have a
Speaker 1: different level of respect um for you and for me
Speaker 1: and for how you viewed them in this whole process. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you hit on a couple of things that maybe I'd
Speaker 1: like to talk about it a little bit more. But first,
Speaker 1: just kind of the last thing. First, it's that you're right,
Speaker 1: and I appreciate you saying that I and I and
Speaker 1: I hope that that's true, and I agree. Um, but
Speaker 1: I think kids have a um the younger. The younger
Speaker 1: they are certainly the more so. But they have a weird,
Speaker 1: um warped sense of time. So that's a challenge. Right.
Speaker 1: They think about time very differently than we do. They
Speaker 1: don't understand what a year ago means, right, you know
Speaker 1: when they're younger, certainly now you know when if you know,
Speaker 1: if you're eleven, you get that, but you know, when
Speaker 1: you're six seven, a year ago is harder to really grasp.
Speaker 1: So that's a that's a weird that's a that's a
Speaker 1: weird challenge. But um uh to your other point, and
Speaker 1: this is maybe some advice for anybody who's out there
Speaker 1: who is going through this or might be going through
Speaker 1: this in the future. Um, every situation is so different
Speaker 1: and so unique. And you know, by the time you
Speaker 1: know you're in that situation, if you ever are, you're older, right,
Speaker 1: so you know you're probably in your thirties or your forties,
Speaker 1: could be earlier, but you're you're later on in your life.
Speaker 1: And we all, we all have had many experiences, relationship
Speaker 1: experiences leading up to who we decide to marry. And
Speaker 1: you know, or many of us do have a lot
Speaker 1: of experiences. But everyone when you get divorced, you're getting
Speaker 1: divorced for the first time, and so you're learning that
Speaker 1: and figuring that out all on your own. And every
Speaker 1: situation is so unique, so everybody's advice is so specific
Speaker 1: to their situation, and no one knows exactly kind of
Speaker 1: your situation and how best to do with your situation.
Speaker 1: So I had a lot of preconceived ideas as to
Speaker 1: what was the right way to do things, specifically in
Speaker 1: connection with you know, how to introduce you or for you,
Speaker 1: how to introduce anybody to them, and when that that,
Speaker 1: when that happens. And I said to myself, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to duce anybody until I'm ready to,
Speaker 1: you know, marry that person. Turns out that's not possible, right,
Speaker 1: You can't. You can't have a really meaningful relationship and
Speaker 1: get to the point where you're ready to marry somebody
Speaker 1: without them having already built a relationship with your kids
Speaker 1: or seeing how that relationship looks like. So um So,
Speaker 1: these preconceived ideas you have, you know you. I think
Speaker 1: you have to be flexible and realize that, um, every
Speaker 1: situation is different and you have to kind of uh
Speaker 1: be able to adapt and figure things out as you go. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we really could talk about it for days, because it's
Speaker 1: like a different stages, you know what I mean, like
Speaker 1: when we first started dating, and then in the middle
Speaker 1: and then then you don't know. It just it's always
Speaker 1: evolving and it's a very uh it's something that I've
Speaker 1: never experienced before either, so we're like both doing it
Speaker 1: for the first time. Yeah. So yeah, it's definitely something
Speaker 1: that is worth talking about more. I think yeah, um, okay,
Speaker 1: I think we should go into emails. I had one
Speaker 1: quick question. Do the constant proposal questions bother you before
Speaker 1: we take our next questions? You mean, like everybody on
Speaker 1: social media say or like DM ing me? Yeah, people
Speaker 1: d I get d ms all the time. Uh, they
Speaker 1: don't bother me at all. I'm I mean, I know
Speaker 1: that I'm not a public person, but I think I
Speaker 1: you know, that stuff doesn't phase me at all. I
Speaker 1: don't you know. Um, I actually you know, I look
Speaker 1: at it more from kind of your perspective. So my
Speaker 1: reaction to those things is one. On the one hand,
Speaker 1: it's really nice that you have again this amazing community
Speaker 1: of people who love you so much and care about
Speaker 1: your happiness so much and are so invested in, you know,
Speaker 1: in you and your happiness and your love and our
Speaker 1: story actually beautiful to me. But on the other hand,
Speaker 1: I actually do sometimes worry if it's putting pressure on you.
Speaker 1: You know that. I think it's I just think you
Speaker 1: can tell you something. Pressure makes diamonds, so you're already
Speaker 1: a diamond. But you know, it's kind of like it's
Speaker 1: like anything, like you know, okay, so so so you
Speaker 1: you get engaged, you get married, then everyone's asking, okay,
Speaker 1: when you're gonna have kids, when you gonna have that's
Speaker 1: what everybody everybody's natural way. Yeah, it's a natural it's
Speaker 1: a natural way. And I think also too for me,
Speaker 1: it's like it's nothing that I mean, you knew knew
Speaker 1: from day one. Early on in our relationship, I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: like this is what I want and this is you know,
Speaker 1: I've just been wearing a lot of white lately, so
Speaker 1: you know whatever, Okay, We're gonna come back with some emails,
Speaker 1: all right, Mark is not oh East, and you can
Speaker 1: read the emails. Do you have him? I do, so
Speaker 1: let's do this. This first one's from Ashley. My boyfriend
Speaker 1: and I recently began discussing moving in together. I would
Speaker 1: be moving into his house, and I'm struggling to think
Speaker 1: of it as my home because I don't want him
Speaker 1: to feel like I'm taking over the space he built
Speaker 1: on his own. For context, I'm thirty, he's thirty five.
Speaker 1: I plan to share these feelings with him as well,
Speaker 1: but I'm curious if Tiny has experienced this while moving
Speaker 1: in with Robbie, and he advised on how to make
Speaker 1: his place feel more like ours rather than just his
Speaker 1: house that I'm staying in. Is that a question for me,
Speaker 1: your question for you both of us? But please no,
Speaker 1: I mean totally get it. It's a it's a real thing.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think, in an ideal world, the best
Speaker 1: move is to start a new in a new place
Speaker 1: that you guys both make your own. But I understand that,
Speaker 1: or you know, the realities of the world sometimes make
Speaker 1: that not possible for any number of reasons. So I
Speaker 1: think it's just a matter of like you said, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know that it's so complicated. I
Speaker 1: think it's a matter of figuring out a way to
Speaker 1: add elements of yourself to his place in a way
Speaker 1: that makes you feel like that is more your home
Speaker 1: as well. And it's all a matter of just communicating
Speaker 1: and having those conversations. Tany and I are having those
Speaker 1: conversations right now, and again, our situation is, you know,
Speaker 1: complicated in terms of immediately getting a new place, but um,
Speaker 1: you know, we're constantly communicating about it, maybe more than
Speaker 1: I would need to or like to, but yeah, I
Speaker 1: just think you you you have to talk about it.
Speaker 1: If you can't kind of start a new in a
Speaker 1: new place, just figure out what what makes you comfortable,
Speaker 1: and then you guys have to compromise and figure out
Speaker 1: what makes sense. Yeah, it's interesting because it's like I
Speaker 1: totally get where she's Ashley's coming from, because I did.
Speaker 1: I felt I felt that way for a very long time.
Speaker 1: I was like, I just feel like I'm again like, yes,
Speaker 1: I think in our ideally we want to get our
Speaker 1: own place together, that's kind of like our goal, but
Speaker 1: temporarily like I'm going to move into your home, and
Speaker 1: so it's like, how do you make a home that
Speaker 1: your own? Because when I had my apartment. I got
Speaker 1: to do whatever I wanted, Like I made it exactly
Speaker 1: I wanted to have a little pink accent chair and
Speaker 1: like did everything that I wanted. And it's so interesting
Speaker 1: because it's just like that is what a relationship is,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. That's like a ying and
Speaker 1: the yang. But like get given a take and so
Speaker 1: it's not going to be exactly what I want, um,
Speaker 1: but I can make it feel more me And like
Speaker 1: you've actually done a really good job. You know, you
Speaker 1: were not like a big dishes like he could leave
Speaker 1: dishes for days and for the evening and I can't
Speaker 1: go to bed with dishes in the sink, Like I
Speaker 1: just I need dishes to be clean, and like so
Speaker 1: I'll just take that responsibility on my own and I'll
Speaker 1: just do them. But like you actually are so great
Speaker 1: and I feel like you have done a better job
Speaker 1: of like doing the dishes or like cleaning up just
Speaker 1: being a little bit more on the kneater side than
Speaker 1: you used to be, which I like see and I
Speaker 1: really appreciate because it's like I see that you're making
Speaker 1: those changes for me. You have a smile on your face.
Speaker 1: Was that really not in that meat. No, No, not
Speaker 1: in like a gross way, like I don't think you
Speaker 1: were ever like gross. I don't think you're gross like dirty.
Speaker 1: But I'm just like I. I like to live in
Speaker 1: a museum like I like it to look like nothing's
Speaker 1: been touched, you know. So it's we're definitely just like
Speaker 1: having to meet in the middle. Okay, so yeah, communication,
Speaker 1: but clearly I like to do that too much. We
Speaker 1: will have talked about it for days, and then the
Speaker 1: next day, should we do you want to finish the conversation?
Speaker 1: All right? This ex cooks from anonymous. I've been with
Speaker 1: my boyfriend for two and a half years. I'm thirty,
Speaker 1: he's twenty eight. Clock is ticking. He has everything I
Speaker 1: could hope for, his thoughtful carrying, loves, his family, adventures, etc.
Speaker 1: I find him attractive, but I don't get the vagina
Speaker 1: tingles that Tanya has talked about scientific term when we
Speaker 1: kiss or when we're being intimate, not even early in
Speaker 1: our relationship. Should I be worried about this? Tanya always
Speaker 1: talks about connection over chemistry, which makes me feel like
Speaker 1: this shouldn't be a big deal. I'm curious about your thoughts.
Speaker 1: Would you like me to go first? Sure, yes, I
Speaker 1: think it's character over chemistry, and that is imperative. Obviously,
Speaker 1: the vagina tingles are nice, and in an ideal world
Speaker 1: you can have both of those things. But to me,
Speaker 1: if he's like a really great guy, I don't think.
Speaker 1: To me, the clock is ticking is not should not
Speaker 1: be a factor because you're only thirty years old, like,
Speaker 1: there are plenty of fish out there. Your time is
Speaker 1: not ticking. But you said he is everything I could
Speaker 1: hope for, and so that to me says that his
Speaker 1: character is really good. So I don't think it's a
Speaker 1: big deal. Yeah. But also I mean I'm not a
Speaker 1: vagina tingles expert, certainly not getting them. But if you're
Speaker 1: attracted to somebody, I mean you can there's a you
Speaker 1: can be attracted to somebody and not get vagina tangles, right,
Speaker 1: I mean, there's a there's a room between those two.
Speaker 1: So I don't know that you necessarily need vagina tangles.
Speaker 1: And I think that that wears off. I mean I
Speaker 1: don't think you, you know, in any relationship, the you know,
Speaker 1: the attractiveness should not wear off. But this kind of
Speaker 1: vagina tingle level of kind of honeymooney phase feeling wears off,
Speaker 1: and if you're talking about a long term marriage or
Speaker 1: lifetime marriage, um, that's going to go away no matter what.
Speaker 1: So ultimately you're left with character and connection. So if
Speaker 1: he's everything you hope for, you are attracted to him
Speaker 1: sexually physically, then yeah, I'm not sure that you have
Speaker 1: any issues. Good. Yeah, you can't build a relationship just
Speaker 1: on vagina tingles. No you can't. You can't just you
Speaker 1: also don't need vagina tingles for a relationship. But they
Speaker 1: are nice, They are nice, They are nice. All right.
Speaker 1: This next one's from Emily. I'm already reacting to this.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, what are your thoughts about me making my
Speaker 1: boyfriend unfollowed girls he has hooked up within the past.
Speaker 1: I asked him to do so and he said this
Speaker 1: was toxic and uncalled for this. Dude sucks. I'm sorry. Toxic?
Speaker 1: What the wait? I saw? I have the thing here,
Speaker 1: So I think it's so I do. I mean not
Speaker 1: to throw any guys under the bus here. I think
Speaker 1: it's so weird when guys just follow follow random hot
Speaker 1: chicks on Instagram. I think is weird. I mean, if
Speaker 1: you're in a relationship, if you're single, follow whoever you want, UM,
Speaker 1: But I find that to be a little bit weird.
Speaker 1: But this question is a little bit different. So this
Speaker 1: question is about people you specifically hooked up with, and
Speaker 1: I think that maybe those people fall into two kind
Speaker 1: of categories. One is, you know, there's there's people that
Speaker 1: I've hooked up with in my past who I'm you know,
Speaker 1: it was friends with first, friends with now we don't
Speaker 1: have anything, it wasn't anything serious. We're friends who happen
Speaker 1: to have hooked up. And then there's people who still
Speaker 1: follow these people. Yeah, yeah, these are like these are
Speaker 1: like lifelong friends. Then there are we can oh. Then
Speaker 1: there are people who you like, have just hooked up,
Speaker 1: who are just people that you hooked up with, who
Speaker 1: you just had a relationship with, UM, and you know
Speaker 1: that's coming gone. I think it's very weird to continue
Speaker 1: to follow someone that you've just hooked up with on Instagram.
Speaker 1: Didn't you just I feel like we were laying and
Speaker 1: then one day and your Instagram feed is like not,
Speaker 1: it's very not, um worrisome, Like when I look at you,
Speaker 1: like it's so funny. So the funniest like the sexiest
Speaker 1: pictures that I have on Instagram feed or like people
Speaker 1: that I'm only friends with, because yeah, like Nickles, he
Speaker 1: follows Natalie and so like she should post like pictures
Speaker 1: in her Bikinian stuff. And I was like oh, and
Speaker 1: then I'm like okay, yeah, I'll be like looking and
Speaker 1: it's just you know, it's someone in a bathing suit
Speaker 1: or this who is that? Oh it's my friend. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm like okay, cool. But there was somebody like this
Speaker 1: is maybe a year ago, but I remember we were
Speaker 1: looking at your Instagram and there was like this girl
Speaker 1: we like looked at her story and she was like
Speaker 1: doing like weird kissy face to the like thing. And
Speaker 1: I was like, and I've never seen her before, I
Speaker 1: never heard her name, Like who is this person? And
Speaker 1: You're like, oh, someone I hooked up with a long
Speaker 1: time ago. And I was like you should follow her
Speaker 1: two things, and then he did a quickly just unfeelollowed
Speaker 1: her right then and there He's like, I didn't even
Speaker 1: realize that I still was correct. There there is like
Speaker 1: a tail period where you don't realize you're still following them.
Speaker 1: Then if their thing pops up, you got it. You
Speaker 1: got it of them. But also that was it a
Speaker 1: period of time that I think we're out of now where. Basically,
Speaker 1: any picture of any female on my Instagram, you would
Speaker 1: ask me if I hooked up with them. So that's true. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we are past that. But yeah I hate this guy. No,
Speaker 1: that's my cousin. No, that's my cousin who just had twins.
Speaker 1: As you can see, I'm looking at a picture of
Speaker 1: her with her twins. I don't like how he reacts,
Speaker 1: this guy, Emily's boyfriend. I don't like him reacting saying
Speaker 1: it's toxic, Like if it makes her uncomfortable, then let
Speaker 1: you know, do it or have a conversation about it.
Speaker 1: Don't be like you're being toxic. That's not that unreasonable request. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I agree that he should say it is toxic, but
Speaker 1: let's say that it was you know, I don't know,
Speaker 1: again one of these people who I'm friends with, but
Speaker 1: I also just happened to have looked up with at
Speaker 1: some period of time. I do think it's it is
Speaker 1: it's unfair for someone to take it to the extremes
Speaker 1: that you have to unfollow that person just because you
Speaker 1: happen to have picked up with them, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. So I do a lot of people that
Speaker 1: I've hooked up with I do right exactly. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: so it is. I do think it is a little
Speaker 1: bit over the line to ask to unfollow those people.
Speaker 1: But you know, the just hookups, I think it makes
Speaker 1: this totally reasonable. And also if it makes you, if
Speaker 1: it bothers you, it bothers you. That's all I'm saying. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we have another anonymous email. I recently got my dream
Speaker 1: job offer in London. I'm currently US based. I'm super excited,
Speaker 1: but currently seeing someone pretty seriously in the US and
Speaker 1: we're living together. He's deep in his career as well,
Speaker 1: but could find a similar role in London. How do
Speaker 1: I go about proposing the idea of a move this huge?
Speaker 1: I know it will be a long discussion, but I'm
Speaker 1: nervous about starting the conversation right rather than just proposing
Speaker 1: an ultimatum move with me or separate. So the question,
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not even sure I understand the question.
Speaker 1: The question is how do I start the conversation? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I think you should answered herself. You definitely
Speaker 1: do not give an ultimatum this point. I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't know how long these people have been dating. I
Speaker 1: don't know how you know she says, they're pretty serious.
Speaker 1: I don't know how old they are. I don't know
Speaker 1: if they're on the brink of marriage, but they're living together,
Speaker 1: so that's significant. Okay, So yeah, I mean there's so
Speaker 1: many life decisions that have to be made when you're
Speaker 1: thinking about spending the rest of your life with somebody,
Speaker 1: this is one of them. You start the conversation. I
Speaker 1: think you just start the conversation by saying, hey, this
Speaker 1: is happening. You know, what are your thoughts? How would
Speaker 1: you feel about potentially moving to London and starting our
Speaker 1: lives there? Boom? And then it goes from there. I
Speaker 1: also think too, it doesn't have to be so permanent,
Speaker 1: you know, Like I do think there's a world in which,
Speaker 1: again we don't know your ages, but if you're on
Speaker 1: the younger side, there is a world where you can
Speaker 1: take this job, move to London, do long distance for
Speaker 1: a little bit, and then maybe see maybe you don't
Speaker 1: even maybe you think it's your dream job and you
Speaker 1: freaking hate it and then you move back. You know,
Speaker 1: like there is a world where that could be the reality.
Speaker 1: Or you take this job. You guys realize like you
Speaker 1: can't be a partner. He just decides that he wants
Speaker 1: to move there to be with you. So I feel
Speaker 1: like maybe even leaving it open end and just saying,
Speaker 1: this is my dream job. If I don't take it,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna regret it. I don't want to lose you.
Speaker 1: So let's just give it six months and see what
Speaker 1: this is like and then make a decision in six months. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I have a cousin who just went through this, who
Speaker 1: just got married. He's from New York married a girl
Speaker 1: who lived in la but also had in New York
Speaker 1: in the past, and her family was from Miami. Anyways,
Speaker 1: this is a major topic of discussion for them, and
Speaker 1: they you know, they just started the conversation. They had it.
Speaker 1: It was, you know, this was kind of a I think,
Speaker 1: a really important point for him and maybe less so
Speaker 1: for her, and so they were able to come to
Speaker 1: an agreement and compromise and they're married and happily ever after. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think this is good, good, good all, good good guy,
Speaker 1: good job. London's awesome. Yeah. Yeah, I vote yes for London.
Speaker 1: I vote yes for London too, just to see because
Speaker 1: you might hate it. That's the end of our show.
Speaker 1: That's it. We're done. Yeah, and we're done. Else nothing
Speaker 1: else unless there's something you'd like to share. Maybe ask No,
Speaker 1: I think that's I can't think of anything that I
Speaker 1: don't want to ask. No nothing, yeah, nothing, yeah, no
Speaker 1: questions come to mind. Oh weird. Yeah that's it. So
Speaker 1: thanks for scrubbing in Dave. This was so fine. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I hope I did. Okay, thank you guys. That was
Speaker 1: really a lot of fun. And um, where can everybody
Speaker 1: find you need any help? But they're wantin your service
Speaker 1: transactional matters? Yeah, there you go. You out a guard
Speaker 1: law PC. His instagram is private, so but I do.
Speaker 1: I'm private, but I have been ex accepting all scrubbers,
Speaker 1: so yes, he does, so I'm part of the community now.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's right. Well, thank you, I love you, and
Speaker 1: we'll see back in next week. She'll be back with
Speaker 1: a lot of stories from her tour and we will
Speaker 1: not have an episode on Thursday, but so we back
Speaker 1: on Monday and love you bye, Love you two.