WEBVTT - High-Functioning Depression, Trauma & Boundaries ft. Dr. Joshua P. Smith 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.960 Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of 0:00:03.000 --> 0:00:04.880 iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. 0:00:10.440 --> 0:00:12.320 I have been waiting on. 0:00:13.920 --> 0:00:14.120 This. 0:00:16.079 --> 0:00:18.959 I have been waiting to speak with doctor Joshua Smith 0:00:19.800 --> 0:00:25.960 for a long time. He is absolutely brilliant, absolutely brilliant. 0:00:26.360 --> 0:00:29.360 I'm excited for him to come and talk about a 0:00:29.440 --> 0:00:30.440 few things. 0:00:30.680 --> 0:00:34.400 If you've been wondering why you've been feeling a certain way, 0:00:34.600 --> 0:00:40.920 could it be inflammation, could it be depression, high functioning depression. 0:00:41.680 --> 0:00:45.320 He's the right one for us today, Stay locked in. 0:00:46.200 --> 0:00:49.480 Hello everyone, and thank you for joining me on another 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:54.600 episode of Checking In. I've been really excited about this one. 0:00:56.600 --> 0:00:59.960 I'm just hop right into it. His name is doctor 0:01:00.360 --> 0:01:07.480 Joshua P. Smith and I remember doctor Smith from some 0:01:07.880 --> 0:01:08.680 years ago. 0:01:08.800 --> 0:01:10.280 Has it been ten years. 0:01:10.040 --> 0:01:10.640 Or more. 0:01:12.360 --> 0:01:12.679 More? 0:01:13.360 --> 0:01:16.160 I remember you have a book called The Other Side 0:01:16.440 --> 0:01:19.080 of Rejection, Healing the Damage Soul. 0:01:19.880 --> 0:01:23.800 And I don't know, but y'all, let me just get 0:01:23.840 --> 0:01:24.600 into who he is. 0:01:24.640 --> 0:01:31.960 Doctor Joshua Smith a licensed professional councor, psychotherapist, spiritual advisor, mentor, 0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:34.080 life and business coach. 0:01:34.480 --> 0:01:38.280 Y'all. He is also a college professor. He is an author. 0:01:38.440 --> 0:01:42.840 His newest publication is an Aligned Mind, Winning the Battle 0:01:43.360 --> 0:01:46.600 in your head. One of my favorites is the other 0:01:46.640 --> 0:01:50.080 side of rejection, healing the damage soul. He's also the 0:01:50.160 --> 0:01:53.440 founder of Soul Healing University. You got to get into 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:58.440 the Soul Healing University and also founder of House of Healing. Y'all, 0:01:58.440 --> 0:02:02.040 please welcome to the checking in platform. 0:02:01.240 --> 0:02:04.480 Doctor Joshua Peacepent. Yes, he was also a husband and father. 0:02:04.760 --> 0:02:11.480 Okay, all right, Yes, thank you for having me any time, anytime. 0:02:12.280 --> 0:02:16.280 I was so excited to know of you, because at 0:02:16.280 --> 0:02:23.720 that time, y'all, I don't remember recalling people who were pastors, 0:02:24.200 --> 0:02:32.720 ministers advocating for the topic of mental health. He was 0:02:32.960 --> 0:02:37.880 like a trailblazer, one of the first. And I remember 0:02:37.919 --> 0:02:41.360 when you were getting your schooling and your licensing. But 0:02:41.440 --> 0:02:45.240 I'm not shocked because I have an uncle who's a minister, 0:02:45.240 --> 0:02:50.560 who was a pastor and a medical doctor. So yes, 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:55.040 you can be a minister and so a minister and 0:02:55.280 --> 0:03:05.400 a therapist. Yes, I thought that was so interesting that 0:03:05.520 --> 0:03:08.160 you were able to do that. What made you get 0:03:08.240 --> 0:03:11.400 into the world of mental health? And why not a 0:03:11.400 --> 0:03:19.040 heart surgeon, a family practitioner, why psychotherapy? 0:03:19.120 --> 0:03:21.240 Yeah, So I had a lot of different things that 0:03:21.320 --> 0:03:25.600 I could do as a child, I was interested in music. 0:03:26.080 --> 0:03:29.000 So that's kind of how I started in ministry. I 0:03:29.040 --> 0:03:31.280 started as a ministrum in music at twelve years old. 0:03:31.280 --> 0:03:32.280 I don't know, you didn't know that. 0:03:33.720 --> 0:03:34.360 You could sing. 0:03:35.360 --> 0:03:38.240 I can't sing. I can directquires and I can play 0:03:38.280 --> 0:03:40.200 all kinds of instruments, but I can sing. 0:03:40.240 --> 0:03:41.560 But I'm not a soloist. 0:03:41.640 --> 0:03:45.120 I started when I was twelve. I actually used to 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:49.480 lead solos, but I think I lost that. Use it 0:03:49.520 --> 0:03:53.080 to lose it, so but anyway, so yeah, music was 0:03:53.120 --> 0:03:57.440 my thing. I was interested in law, I was interested 0:03:57.480 --> 0:04:01.040 in medicine at one point. Kind of how my journey 0:04:01.040 --> 0:04:03.640 got started is I would tell someone just the other day, 0:04:04.040 --> 0:04:06.400 I guess I just have this face that people walk 0:04:06.480 --> 0:04:09.320 up to me and tell me their life story. So 0:04:09.720 --> 0:04:13.520 from a young age, I've always been the one who 0:04:13.560 --> 0:04:17.760 people talked to, from peers to adults, and so people 0:04:17.800 --> 0:04:21.120 would just tell me their secrets, tell me what was happening. 0:04:21.200 --> 0:04:24.039 Even going in stores. Now you know, I can just 0:04:24.160 --> 0:04:27.080 be in a store and someone will introduce themselves and 0:04:27.200 --> 0:04:31.160 just start talking. So that's always pretty much been my reality. 0:04:31.960 --> 0:04:35.359 But as I grew in age and in wisdom, the 0:04:35.400 --> 0:04:40.520 Lord began to put some supernatural edge to that, and 0:04:40.560 --> 0:04:43.920 I would have answers for people. And I enjoyed doing that. 0:04:44.240 --> 0:04:46.680 So when I went to college, I started off as 0:04:46.960 --> 0:04:53.040 pre law and music. So I decided, Yeah, that freshman year, 0:04:53.200 --> 0:04:55.800 I decided, I don't think I want to do the 0:04:55.920 --> 0:04:58.039 music thing. The law was kind of still hanging, but 0:04:58.080 --> 0:05:00.120 I said, let me try something else, and so I 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:04.400 wandered into a psychology classroom and it has been psychology 0:05:04.440 --> 0:05:04.960 ever since. 0:05:05.839 --> 0:05:10.159 Wow, so y'all listen, that happens. 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:14.239 You'll go to college for one thing and then you'll 0:05:14.279 --> 0:05:16.720 walk into I went to I personally went to college 0:05:16.720 --> 0:05:19.680 for criminal justice and sociology. I thought I was going 0:05:19.720 --> 0:05:22.560 to be a forensic psychologist or a prosecuting attorney. 0:05:23.279 --> 0:05:25.320 But here we are. 0:05:26.320 --> 0:05:30.080 I can definitely see law. I can definitely see medicine 0:05:30.160 --> 0:05:33.440 for sure. But now I feel like I want to 0:05:33.440 --> 0:05:35.080 go on YouTube and see if I can see you 0:05:35.120 --> 0:05:40.800 directing the choir. Probably not, okay, So if I am 0:05:40.839 --> 0:05:43.080 not mistaken, where are you from? 0:05:43.240 --> 0:05:46.680 Originally I'm from a place called Gulfport, Mississippi. 0:05:47.040 --> 0:05:50.720 Okay, Gulfport, Mississippi, because I know you are now licensed 0:05:50.800 --> 0:05:54.640 also in Texas. Yes, so y'all, if you're in Texas. 0:05:54.640 --> 0:05:57.880 I don't know if he's taking any new clients. He 0:05:58.080 --> 0:06:01.560 is taking new clients in the Texas area and Mississippi area, 0:06:01.960 --> 0:06:04.760 so y'all please get into him. Like I said, he 0:06:04.800 --> 0:06:06.960 has degrees in psychology. 0:06:06.400 --> 0:06:07.760 Counseling, and divinity. 0:06:08.320 --> 0:06:12.400 I love that he also trains business executives and all 0:06:12.720 --> 0:06:16.080 of all kinds of professionals and religious leaders on the 0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:21.560 principles of emotional health and wellness. Has that been difficult 0:06:21.880 --> 0:06:26.960 for business leaders, particularly those in the church, to grab 0:06:27.000 --> 0:06:31.159 a hold to emotional health and wellness? 0:06:32.000 --> 0:06:34.960 So I would say in the church, yes, that was 0:06:35.000 --> 0:06:38.320 somewhat new ground, as you spoke to earlier. But in 0:06:38.400 --> 0:06:43.280 the business side, they understand the numbers, and they understand 0:06:43.360 --> 0:06:46.960 the value of having emotional health and intelligence inside of 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:50.280 the workplace. Literally, you can increase your bottom line by 0:06:50.279 --> 0:06:53.880 over three hundred percent if you have employees who are 0:06:53.960 --> 0:06:57.600 trained in emotional health. They are trauma informed. And so 0:06:57.920 --> 0:07:01.240 business leaders understand that. And so I haven't had much 0:07:01.279 --> 0:07:05.000 trouble in my career going into the business sector and 0:07:05.080 --> 0:07:07.200 doing that because they already had that information. But in 0:07:07.240 --> 0:07:10.400 the church, we're destroyed for our lack of knowledge. So 0:07:10.480 --> 0:07:14.080 it's been an uphill battle, but a winning battle. You know, 0:07:14.120 --> 0:07:16.680 We've gained a lot of ground in that area. And 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:19.600 now everyone's talking about, you know, mental health and emotional 0:07:19.600 --> 0:07:21.760 health in the church. So I love to see it. 0:07:22.320 --> 0:07:25.400 But when I first got started back in twenty twelve, 0:07:25.560 --> 0:07:28.920 i'd actually started my master's degree, and I started seeing 0:07:28.960 --> 0:07:34.360 how the church could benefit from mental and emotional health. 0:07:34.400 --> 0:07:36.600 And I started tracking to scripture, like, hey, this is 0:07:37.120 --> 0:07:39.920 in the Bible, and so I started teaching it as 0:07:39.960 --> 0:07:42.360 a young minister. So that was back in twenty twelve. 0:07:42.520 --> 0:07:45.320 Back then, like people were calling me the psychology preacher. 0:07:46.560 --> 0:07:49.040 They were saying, a very prominent person said you cannot 0:07:49.080 --> 0:07:52.120 be a psychologist and a pastor or a profit So 0:07:52.200 --> 0:07:54.760 I got a lot of pushback, but I stayed to 0:07:54.800 --> 0:07:55.640 the course of the journey. 0:07:56.040 --> 0:07:58.520 In this world of exposure, tell us who it was, 0:07:58.680 --> 0:08:01.280 I just went, I am, y'all, I don't know. 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:05.160 I I'm just. 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:08.160 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, see we gotta do seem m 0:08:08.320 --> 0:08:12.080 hm that I wouldn't say that shocking, but that kind 0:08:12.120 --> 0:08:15.320 of hurts my feelings because people are trying to cast 0:08:15.360 --> 0:08:18.960 out what they think is a demon. And I'm not 0:08:19.000 --> 0:08:24.400 saying depression that door can't be some stuff isn't a portal, 0:08:24.960 --> 0:08:29.040 you know, to things. But sometimes you're just depressed or 0:08:29.160 --> 0:08:34.120 you have your bipolar which can be you know, treated 0:08:34.240 --> 0:08:36.440 with therapy and medication. 0:08:37.000 --> 0:08:40.760 Right, so everything is not how do I say this? 0:08:43.920 --> 0:08:44.200 Do you? 0:08:45.760 --> 0:08:47.000 Everything is not demonic? 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:51.600 Is that? I agree with that? But let me phrase 0:08:51.640 --> 0:08:52.320 that another way. 0:08:52.520 --> 0:08:53.240 Okay, thank you. 0:08:53.800 --> 0:08:58.000 Everything is spiritual, but everything is not a spirit. 0:09:00.400 --> 0:09:00.880 Unpack. 0:09:01.880 --> 0:09:06.480 Okay. So God created us body, soul, and spirit, and 0:09:06.520 --> 0:09:09.280 we see that back in Genesis Genesis two seven. He 0:09:09.360 --> 0:09:12.280 formed us from the dust of the ground, body, breed 0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:15.840 spirit into us, making us a spirit man, became a 0:09:15.840 --> 0:09:19.880 living soul, and so that's body, soul spirit. So when 0:09:19.920 --> 0:09:25.640 we are dealing with spiritual matters, everything about us deals 0:09:25.679 --> 0:09:29.640 with our spirit because we're spirit beings. Right, So everything 0:09:29.760 --> 0:09:34.120 is spiritual, but not everything is a demonic spirit or 0:09:34.280 --> 0:09:37.800 caused by a demonic spirit. Sometimes there are things simply 0:09:37.840 --> 0:09:40.760 going on in our body, right, are simply going on 0:09:41.000 --> 0:09:43.479 in our soul, our mind, our will, and our emotions. 0:09:43.640 --> 0:09:46.880 So we are spiritual beings. And when we even treat 0:09:47.600 --> 0:09:52.319 mental health disorders, we're also looking for any spiritual components. 0:09:52.360 --> 0:09:55.440 And it's been researched and proven that people who have 0:09:55.480 --> 0:10:00.360 a strong spiritual faith that they get through depression, anxiety, trauma. 0:10:00.400 --> 0:10:04.280 They get to through those things much quicker because they 0:10:04.320 --> 0:10:06.880 have a root in their spiritual faith. So that's what 0:10:06.920 --> 0:10:09.240 I mean by everything is spiritual. We can always put 0:10:09.280 --> 0:10:12.040 a spiritual intervention there, but it doesn't mean that the 0:10:12.080 --> 0:10:16.720 person is demonically possessed. Yeah, because they're dealing with something 0:10:16.760 --> 0:10:17.760 in their emotions. 0:10:17.960 --> 0:10:19.760 Because I'm like, we don't say that to the person 0:10:19.800 --> 0:10:23.280 who eat a lot of pound cake that you possess. 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:28.720 Ah, and you probably are, but we don't say that. 0:10:28.920 --> 0:10:31.840 We don't you know or you know so and so 0:10:31.960 --> 0:10:34.280 comes up to the altar and they get prayer for 0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:39.600 loopus or a heart condition. We don't throw them away, right, 0:10:39.720 --> 0:10:42.880 But if somebody is just talking about they just feel 0:10:44.120 --> 0:10:47.960 tormented or just not being able to sleep, or they've 0:10:48.000 --> 0:10:51.679 just been really sad, we'll blame them for things that 0:10:51.720 --> 0:10:52.600 we think they're doing. 0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:53.280 Well, if you. 0:10:53.240 --> 0:10:57.040 Weren't shocking up, if you wasn't so, and if you 0:10:57.160 --> 0:11:02.319 wasn't some sleeping with So I'm like, now some of 0:11:02.400 --> 0:11:06.520 that could be true just for my own personal testimony, 0:11:06.920 --> 0:11:10.800 meaning meaning certain people that you are attached to can 0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:16.600 contribute to a horrible quality of mental health. You're in 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:20.400 the wrong relationships, so you're always anxious. It's messing with 0:11:20.440 --> 0:11:23.640 your appetite. You can't sleep. So I will say to 0:11:23.720 --> 0:11:26.400 mother Jenkins, and mother Jenkins is just the name I 0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:29.080 thought of that you might have some You might be 0:11:29.200 --> 0:11:32.600 right on that. But just when it comes to people 0:11:32.679 --> 0:11:35.440 who are in the church who might be saying, I 0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:38.319 just haven't been feeling myself for the past few days. 0:11:38.360 --> 0:11:40.880 I'm bringing this up to encourage you. Like, you're not 0:11:41.120 --> 0:11:46.680 a bad person necessarily, You're not like some you didn't 0:11:46.720 --> 0:11:49.280 watch a movie and it crept into your brain and 0:11:49.320 --> 0:11:50.400 now you're not. 0:11:50.640 --> 0:11:53.800 You're not you didn't do anything necessarily. 0:11:54.120 --> 0:11:57.719 You know some stuff, some things are separation from a 0:11:57.760 --> 0:12:02.160 bad crowd, detection from an abusive relationship. 0:12:02.320 --> 0:12:07.439 Those things can improve your mental health for sure, for sure. 0:12:07.920 --> 0:12:11.800 But then let's talk about maybe some you're realizing when 0:12:11.840 --> 0:12:14.800 you I'm noticing when people get to a certain age, 0:12:15.280 --> 0:12:17.480 it's like they crash out in their. 0:12:17.280 --> 0:12:20.560 Mid thirties forties. 0:12:20.640 --> 0:12:25.000 When stuff from childhood starts to bubble over. Maybe I 0:12:25.000 --> 0:12:26.720 don't know if that's something you've been seeing. 0:12:28.040 --> 0:12:30.720 Yeah, so what begins to happen, because what you're speaking 0:12:30.760 --> 0:12:33.280 to is trauma. What begins to happen is as we 0:12:33.400 --> 0:12:37.280 go throughout life, and if we have not processed the 0:12:37.320 --> 0:12:40.520 things that have happened to us in our past, they 0:12:40.520 --> 0:12:43.880 are going to show up somewhere. And what many people 0:12:43.920 --> 0:12:48.120 discovers as they get into their thirties their forties, other 0:12:48.160 --> 0:12:52.559 things are happening in life that tend to trigger old wounds. 0:12:53.120 --> 0:12:55.840 And then you have these changes happening in your body 0:12:56.520 --> 0:13:01.560 as you get older, so you have deficiencies in chemicals 0:13:01.600 --> 0:13:03.800 and vitamins, like all these things are out of whack, 0:13:04.080 --> 0:13:06.360 and all of those things that you suppressed just begin 0:13:06.480 --> 0:13:09.560 to float to the surface. And now where you haven't 0:13:09.640 --> 0:13:12.320 dealt with them in the past, perhaps because you didn't 0:13:12.320 --> 0:13:15.240 have the tools, the skills, the knowledge, the information, but 0:13:15.360 --> 0:13:18.560 you didn't deal with it then, but it didn't go anywhere. 0:13:19.000 --> 0:13:22.200 It's still inside of your soul, and so at some 0:13:22.320 --> 0:13:26.120 point you're going to have to do the work that 0:13:26.280 --> 0:13:29.720 is required to unpack all of that baggage. 0:13:30.120 --> 0:13:35.040 Yeah, thank you so much for saying that, And I'm 0:13:35.040 --> 0:13:37.920 so glad that we do have the information and resources 0:13:37.920 --> 0:13:41.160 and tools. You can't be on social media and not 0:13:41.240 --> 0:13:50.240 see something related to the gut. Something with mental health 0:13:50.640 --> 0:13:53.160 and by the way, everyone we all have mental health. 0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:57.600 Everyone does not have mental illness. I see that interchange. 0:13:57.640 --> 0:14:01.720 Somebody will poll something, man, mental health is real mental illness. 0:14:01.800 --> 0:14:04.160 I think you meant to say mental illness is real 0:14:04.600 --> 0:14:08.440 mental health. We all have mental health, just like we 0:14:08.520 --> 0:14:11.360 have cardiovascular health, productive health. 0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:14.080 So mental health, mind health, brain health. 0:14:14.120 --> 0:14:17.440 I don't know, whatever you think it should be properly called. 0:14:19.520 --> 0:14:20.760 We all have that. 0:14:20.920 --> 0:14:23.080 And I definitely want to get to the y'all to 0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:28.240 the reason that I called him here today. But I've 0:14:28.320 --> 0:14:31.320 asked a few people, especially like doctor Raquel Martin, who 0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:33.640 was just on a few weeks ago, what is one 0:14:33.720 --> 0:14:37.160 thing that you're seeing where or is it like the 0:14:37.200 --> 0:14:40.800 other day, I was like, stop using therapy talk in 0:14:40.920 --> 0:14:46.040 regular day to day relational conversations. What is something that 0:14:46.080 --> 0:14:49.320 you're seeing or what are words? Is it we hearing 0:14:49.400 --> 0:14:54.240 gas lighting narcissists and we're diagnosing people? Is that a 0:14:54.280 --> 0:15:00.160 pet peeve of yours as a doctor in this field. 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:05.720 Yeah, that's really a source spot of soap box for me, 0:15:06.160 --> 0:15:11.240 particularly when people are trying to diagnose themselves. I had 0:15:11.240 --> 0:15:13.400 a student to come in and she's like, well, I'm 0:15:13.400 --> 0:15:16.840 just so OCD and I had the correct her because 0:15:16.960 --> 0:15:19.920 we're in an academic setting. Now, yeah, we can do this, 0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:23.440 and so I had to walk her through. So we 0:15:23.520 --> 0:15:28.440 have the DSM five that we use as licensed clinicians 0:15:28.480 --> 0:15:33.560 that help us to determine what plausible diagnosis could be 0:15:33.880 --> 0:15:37.480 for someone having certain issues. So the amount of training 0:15:38.120 --> 0:15:43.480 and practice that we put in to learning how to 0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:46.520 use the DSM it really takes away from that when 0:15:46.560 --> 0:15:49.360 we see people just say, well, I'm so bipolar or 0:15:49.520 --> 0:15:51.840 this weather is bipolar, and it's like, if you really 0:15:51.920 --> 0:15:57.720 understood the dynamics and the qualifications, because every diagnosis has 0:15:57.800 --> 0:16:00.800 certain symptoms and a certain number of symptoms that you 0:16:00.880 --> 0:16:03.800 have to meet criteria for that diagnosis. It is not 0:16:03.840 --> 0:16:06.520 an exact science, but we do have that book. So 0:16:06.640 --> 0:16:08.800 to hear people just throw words around, one of them, 0:16:08.920 --> 0:16:12.560 I'll just say, you've already said it is narcissism, So 0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:16.720 now everybody that you don't agree with is a narcissist. 0:16:18.120 --> 0:16:22.880 Every X that you've had is a narcissist. And so 0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:25.280 it's not not wait a minute. 0:16:25.080 --> 0:16:28.119 So that a diagnosis though, right. 0:16:28.440 --> 0:16:30.840 Yes, it is an actual diagnosis, and it's hard to 0:16:30.880 --> 0:16:36.200 diagnose because a lot of people are covert narcissist, so. 0:16:36.080 --> 0:16:40.800 That yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:16:40.840 --> 0:16:43.280 So it's very hard to diagnose, and most people who 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:48.080 are narcissists will never get treated because they won't admit 0:16:48.280 --> 0:16:51.960 I have these tendencies. So it's very difficult to diagnose. 0:16:52.280 --> 0:16:53.800 And so that's one of those things that if we 0:16:53.960 --> 0:16:56.960 just throw it out, it loses its value and then 0:16:57.040 --> 0:16:59.920 we're just really labeling people, which is dangerous all the way. 0:17:00.560 --> 0:17:02.520 Yeah, we are labeling people. 0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:05.160 Like you said, just because you didn't agree with somebody 0:17:05.359 --> 0:17:09.199 or a relationship didn't work out, that person is not 0:17:09.359 --> 0:17:14.360 necessarily a narcissist, although they might have some of the traits. 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:16.320 And here's the thing, let me ask we all do 0:17:16.359 --> 0:17:17.800 we all have traits though? 0:17:18.520 --> 0:17:24.160 Absolutely so. These most of these diagnoses are looked at 0:17:24.200 --> 0:17:27.679 on a continuum, right, so like a scale, let's just 0:17:27.680 --> 0:17:30.320 say of one to ten. So when you start looking 0:17:30.400 --> 0:17:35.240 in like the eight, nine, ten range, like, that's clinical diagnosing. 0:17:35.520 --> 0:17:39.760 So for personality disorders, which are all very difficult to diagnose, 0:17:39.840 --> 0:17:42.359 and you can't diagnose them until after person is eighteen 0:17:42.440 --> 0:17:46.720 years old. So when we look at these diagnoses, we 0:17:46.960 --> 0:17:52.720 all have some tendencies on the spectrum, on the continuum, 0:17:53.040 --> 0:17:56.199 it just really depends on how far you are on 0:17:56.240 --> 0:17:59.840 that continuum, because we all are self absorbed. 0:18:00.200 --> 0:18:02.200 To say you could be selfish, I know, I don't 0:18:02.200 --> 0:18:03.760 want to give you none of my jelly beans. 0:18:03.840 --> 0:18:05.640 You're a narcissist? What, I just. 0:18:05.560 --> 0:18:09.240 Don't want to have none? So we all have that 0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:11.359 in us, but we can't label people based on that 0:18:11.400 --> 0:18:13.359 because if you don't have the training and the credentials 0:18:13.960 --> 0:18:16.879 to do that, then you project that onto someone. And 0:18:16.920 --> 0:18:21.320 I've also discovered that sometimes people are projecting what's really 0:18:21.400 --> 0:18:24.840 going on on the inside of them onto others. So 0:18:25.000 --> 0:18:28.440 the person saying this person is a narcissist may in 0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:30.840 fact be a narcissist themselves. Wow. 0:18:35.160 --> 0:18:40.160 Okay, y'all, that's another conversation, another episode. 0:18:41.640 --> 0:18:43.680 No, seriously, y'all, did y'all. 0:18:43.320 --> 0:18:47.360 Know that it's an it's an actual diagnosis. 0:18:47.400 --> 0:18:48.920 Is it considered a mental illness? 0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:57.000 Yes, it is considered a mental disorder falling under personality. 0:18:56.200 --> 0:19:01.240 Disorders personality disorder. Okay, got it? Okay, And y'all, I'm 0:19:01.280 --> 0:19:03.399 excited that I know what a DSM is because my 0:19:03.440 --> 0:19:05.560 mom is a registered NUR since she had a DSM 0:19:05.560 --> 0:19:05.880 at home. 0:19:05.960 --> 0:19:07.600 It was a blue book at the time. It was 0:19:07.640 --> 0:19:09.919 a blue book with silver. 0:19:10.280 --> 0:19:12.600 Right silver on the thing, And so every now and 0:19:12.600 --> 0:19:14.320 then I would open up and see all these pictures 0:19:14.359 --> 0:19:16.600 of things and like, what is this right? 0:19:17.760 --> 0:19:18.960 So, yes, a DSM five. 0:19:19.000 --> 0:19:21.680 I'm not telling y'all to go get one, but that's 0:19:21.720 --> 0:19:23.520 what he's speaking of when you hear him every now 0:19:23.520 --> 0:19:29.880 and then he was saying, DSM five. I hit you 0:19:29.960 --> 0:19:31.960 the other day because I got so excited about a 0:19:32.000 --> 0:19:35.440 post you made. When you say, get your levels checked, 0:19:37.280 --> 0:19:44.840 it might not be depression, y'all. In twenty twenty four, 0:19:47.400 --> 0:19:52.119 I definitely was walking through a little personal situation, but 0:19:52.840 --> 0:19:53.560 I had the. 0:19:53.560 --> 0:19:56.800 Tools, and I was like, why do I feel. 0:19:59.720 --> 0:20:04.359 Like depressed? I was feeling like a weighted blanket, which 0:20:04.400 --> 0:20:06.439 I love. I feel like I would wake up and 0:20:06.520 --> 0:20:08.360 still feel like I had a weighted. 0:20:08.119 --> 0:20:09.760 Blanket over me. 0:20:10.720 --> 0:20:12.720 Yeah, and I'm trying to figure out why did I 0:20:12.800 --> 0:20:14.480 go get my level? I want to go get my 0:20:14.560 --> 0:20:18.280 levels checked for a whole nother reason. And when I 0:20:18.320 --> 0:20:21.840 tell you, the doctor called and was so shocked. They 0:20:21.880 --> 0:20:26.440 literally said, Michelle, how are you even upright? My iron 0:20:26.880 --> 0:20:31.040 was so low. My fair tin was a five. It 0:20:31.080 --> 0:20:33.639 should have been at least a fifty. I think by 0:20:33.680 --> 0:20:37.119 the way levels are different for people, even black people. 0:20:37.240 --> 0:20:40.800 Our levels are different, you know. So vitamin D was 0:20:40.840 --> 0:20:46.120 extremely low, iron was low eight, and the fairy tin 0:20:46.200 --> 0:20:48.960 I think is the carrier of iron or something. 0:20:48.960 --> 0:20:51.160 I don't know, but all of that was so low. 0:20:51.440 --> 0:20:52.520 I started I had. 0:20:52.400 --> 0:20:55.639 To get iron infusions. And when I started getting the 0:20:55.680 --> 0:21:00.280 iron infusion, certain cravings went away. Yeah, you know, and 0:21:00.320 --> 0:21:03.560 stuff started shooting up to like to this day, like 0:21:03.600 --> 0:21:06.400 I think I go in March, you know, to continue 0:21:06.440 --> 0:21:09.800 to get those levels checked. But I really, y'all this, 0:21:10.359 --> 0:21:13.399 I'm a little transparent, maybe too transparent, but I literally 0:21:13.440 --> 0:21:17.320 called my psychiatrist to get medication because I thought I 0:21:17.400 --> 0:21:22.000 was depressed. The vitamin D was long. I have to 0:21:22.000 --> 0:21:26.000 take fifty thousand ius a vitamin D. And you know, 0:21:26.119 --> 0:21:30.000 so I speak to when you were saying getting your 0:21:30.080 --> 0:21:34.119 levels checked. But Jack, I mean, I don't want to 0:21:34.160 --> 0:21:37.480 say you still can't be depressed. But before you think 0:21:37.520 --> 0:21:42.840 you're depressed, yes, speak to us getting our blood work done. 0:21:43.520 --> 0:21:45.800 Absolutely. So I'm glad that you shared that, and the 0:21:45.840 --> 0:21:49.240 way that you shared it is important because there can 0:21:49.320 --> 0:21:54.880 be other causes, of course for depression anxiety. But before 0:21:55.200 --> 0:21:56.280 you self diagnosed. 0:21:57.640 --> 0:22:01.520 I'm a Googler, you hear me and GPT now was 0:22:01.800 --> 0:22:02.520 the next. 0:22:03.200 --> 0:22:08.160 Before you Google chat, GBT, WebMD, all the things Before 0:22:08.240 --> 0:22:11.760 you do that, talk with a professional, let them know 0:22:11.840 --> 0:22:15.560 what's happening and see because as professionals, it's kind of 0:22:15.600 --> 0:22:18.320 like the forensic science that you were talking about in 0:22:18.359 --> 0:22:23.199 the investigation. Yes, that's all we're doing as psychotherapists and 0:22:23.240 --> 0:22:27.120 psychiatrists and psychologists. We take a case, right and we're 0:22:27.119 --> 0:22:30.320 looking at, Okay, what could be the cause for why 0:22:30.320 --> 0:22:32.959 they're feeling this? Okay, let me ask more questions so 0:22:33.000 --> 0:22:34.760 that I can see. Okay, let me run this blood 0:22:34.760 --> 0:22:37.240 work so that I can see what's happening. So going 0:22:37.280 --> 0:22:40.440 to talk to a professional who's trained will keep you 0:22:40.880 --> 0:22:46.760 from becoming anxious about the anxiety you're feeling, right because 0:22:46.760 --> 0:22:49.320 it could not even be that you have a diagnosis 0:22:49.359 --> 0:22:51.480 of anxiety. It could not be that you have a 0:22:51.480 --> 0:22:54.479 diagnosis of major depressive disorder. It could be that something 0:22:54.600 --> 0:22:59.679 physical is happening in your body that is mimicking symptoms 0:23:00.080 --> 0:23:02.000 in your mind, your emotions. 0:23:02.200 --> 0:23:03.200 That's so good. 0:23:03.760 --> 0:23:09.359 I mean, heart palpitations isn't necessarily anxiety or panic attack. 0:23:09.480 --> 0:23:11.640 You could be dehydrated, like. 0:23:12.359 --> 0:23:15.560 I didn't know, like sometimes when I would my heart 0:23:15.560 --> 0:23:18.120 would be really fast at night, y'all, when I would 0:23:18.200 --> 0:23:22.480 drink like a nice glass. Now, cold water can help 0:23:22.560 --> 0:23:28.359 with panic, but literally I don't do water like I should, 0:23:29.200 --> 0:23:32.760 so sometimes it's dehydration. I'm doing eight shows a week, 0:23:32.920 --> 0:23:36.960 working out, doing this girl drink water. But like you said, 0:23:37.200 --> 0:23:43.159 still talk to a professional about it, because we're all 0:23:43.200 --> 0:23:44.640 so guilty, especially black people. 0:23:44.800 --> 0:23:47.000 Well, you know, Grandy had swollen ankles. 0:23:47.000 --> 0:23:49.159 So it might just be I need to take a 0:23:49.160 --> 0:23:55.720 shot of vinegar, you know, but it really could be something. 0:23:57.960 --> 0:24:00.480 Next the topic of how bye. 0:24:00.640 --> 0:24:07.159 Functioning depression, Joshua, doctor Smith, You mean to tell me 0:24:07.840 --> 0:24:13.159 you can be depressed and still be quote unquote killing it. 0:24:13.400 --> 0:24:18.480