Speaker 1: Did you fall in love with Becca Kufrian?
Speaker 2: Yeah, and TV Land I was falling in love with Becca.
Speaker 2: But then you because when you're doing it, Brian, you
Speaker 2: don't get your phone, no TV, no Internet, you can't
Speaker 2: talk to your family, you can't talk to friends, you
Speaker 2: don't hear music, and you're sequestered. Oh, you're sequestered. So like,
Speaker 2: the only woman that I saw in like three months
Speaker 2: and then a producer or two was her, So like,
Speaker 2: you're and she's great, she's amazing, But I thinking, like.
Speaker 1: All the producers are married, all the producer women is
Speaker 1: the requirement you have to be married, so you can
Speaker 1: only see one single woman over the course of three months. Yeah,
Speaker 1: welcome back everybody. This is Off the Beat and I
Speaker 1: am your host, Brian bomb Partner, my guest today is
Speaker 1: a super successful business owner. He is a podcast host,
Speaker 1: he is an author, but he is probably best known
Speaker 1: for his dating life. That's right, Bachelor Nation, Rise up
Speaker 1: wherever you are, because today I am speaking with Jason Tartig.
Speaker 1: He was a rising star in corporate banking in Seattle.
Speaker 1: He was plucked from obscurity and into the glorious world
Speaker 1: of reality dating television. He appeared on season fourteen of
Speaker 1: The Bachelorette with Beca, But sadly, he did not find
Speaker 1: true love. We'll discuss that today, I promise. But despite
Speaker 1: his nationally broadcast heartbreak, he has bounced back to become
Speaker 1: a successful entrepreneur in the investing and financial education world.
Speaker 1: He is the host of the podcast Trading Secrets, which
Speaker 1: is all about financial transparency. He's also the author of
Speaker 1: the new book Talk Money to Me, which is all
Speaker 1: about having the hard conversations about money in your relationships.
Speaker 1: That book is out this week, so we're going to
Speaker 1: dive into all of that. How he ruined his mom's
Speaker 1: bachelor addiction by going on the show, the pitfalls of
Speaker 1: being a Buffalo Bill's fan, and stars who call the
Speaker 1: paparazzi on themselves. I promise that is not me, but
Speaker 1: it does happen. This is a fun one. He's handsome,
Speaker 1: he's successful. Here he is the extremely eligible Jason Tardick,
Speaker 1: Burble and Squeak. I love it Burble and Squeak. No
Speaker 1: Burble and Squeaker cook at every month lift over from
Speaker 1: the nine before. What's up, Jason, Ryan, How you doing
Speaker 1: by man? I mean, you know, I could I could
Speaker 1: tell you exactly, but it doesn't matter, like nobody truly nobody.
Speaker 2: Well, i'll tell you what you know you. I don't
Speaker 2: know if you remember this, Brian, but you and I
Speaker 2: were playing at the celebrity Sweat Flag Football together game
Speaker 2: in the Super Bowl and you were you were killing
Speaker 2: it then, so I'm sure you're killing it now.
Speaker 1: Well, listen, I do remember that. That was all I
Speaker 1: know about that game is everyone got hurt. And here's
Speaker 1: the thing about me. I got hurt in warm ups
Speaker 1: and you know who didn't say anything me. I didn't
Speaker 1: say a damn thing. I just took it. I just
Speaker 1: took See. Here's the thing, RGI three in warm ups.
Speaker 1: I don't even know what he's like. You know, he's
Speaker 1: like saying, hey, take do this out come in do
Speaker 1: that he throws at seventy five miles an hour. Okay, fine,
Speaker 1: I catch it. Let's be clear. Totally jam my thumb,
Speaker 1: I mean like jammed it, like it was inside out
Speaker 1: on my hand, pulsing. And you know what, I didn't
Speaker 1: say anything. Everybody else says, I mean he he falls
Speaker 1: on his mic pack and breaks his ribs and punctures
Speaker 1: is lung. He complains, I don't complain.
Speaker 2: You know, you're just a warrior. And I will tell
Speaker 2: you this, that's the biggest misconception behind NFL quarterbacks. It
Speaker 2: is the freaking speed at which they throw that ball.
Speaker 2: It's like catching the baseball. It's nuts. But you know what,
Speaker 2: did you play a snap that day or did you
Speaker 2: just act like like, nah, you know, I'll sit one
Speaker 2: out for the team.
Speaker 1: No. I played. I played a few snaps, uh, and
Speaker 1: then I ended up. UH. They were like, hey, can
Speaker 1: you go up and talk to uh? You know our
Speaker 1: men and women in military, they're listening on radio. They're like, hey,
Speaker 1: can you go say hi in the booth? I was
Speaker 1: like absolutely, are you kidding? Absolutely, I'll be better served
Speaker 1: up there. I don't know. It was like forty five
Speaker 1: minutes later. Am I this entire game? Like I thought
Speaker 1: I was saying hi in the booth? I go through
Speaker 1: seven or eight commercial breaks and I'm still I'm like, guys,
Speaker 1: I think my team needs me down there. I don't know,
Speaker 1: but anyway, it was, it was. It was a really
Speaker 1: good time. I know you're a Big Bills guy. Talk
Speaker 1: about somebody who fires the ball.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Huge Bills guy Josh Allen fires that ball.
Speaker 2: He was flowing around the Super Bowl a little bit.
Speaker 2: It was, you know, good to see him out having
Speaker 2: a good time. But yeah, I've been a born and
Speaker 2: raised Buffalo Bill's fan, fortunately and unfortunately for thirty five years.
Speaker 1: Now. Have you have you have you gotten to note
Speaker 1: Josh a little bit?
Speaker 2: Yeah? You know, the first time I actually ever came
Speaker 2: across Josh was in two thousand. Shoot, I think it
Speaker 2: was twenty twenty one is Super Bowl and he's like, yo,
Speaker 2: come over here, and he was waving at me, Brian,
Speaker 2: and I looked behind me. I'm like, he can't be
Speaker 2: waving at me, and he was waving at me, and
Speaker 2: I was like, oh god. So I went over hung
Speaker 2: out with him, and he said that he had watched
Speaker 2: a little bit of The Bachelor, so he knew of
Speaker 2: my past. And I'm like, this is unbelievable. I was
Speaker 2: drinking beers with Josh Allen at the Barstool party and
Speaker 2: that was like, that was like my pinnacle in life
Speaker 2: right there.
Speaker 1: Well, I was going to say, if you were hanging
Speaker 1: out with him at a super Bowl, it wasn't because
Speaker 1: he was playing.
Speaker 2: Oh Brian's drop of bombs on me.
Speaker 1: No, I'm just saying, I mean, we have, many of
Speaker 1: us have expected it. Now for a while I did,
Speaker 1: uh well, I thought this last year was going to
Speaker 1: be their year. But he is just a super nice guy,
Speaker 1: obviously incredibly talented and always very very kind when when
Speaker 1: we run into each other, normally on a golf course.
Speaker 1: I'll be honest. But yeah, so you grew up in Buffalo.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, So I was born and raised in Buffalo,
Speaker 2: played hockey, soccer, lacrosse there, and then I ended up
Speaker 2: going into I went to D three school outside Buffalo,
Speaker 2: New York, and I kind of was like the corporate
Speaker 2: bank or soldier, like tell me where to go and
Speaker 2: how to go. And I moved from New York to
Speaker 2: Seattle and it was then at twenty nine, I got
Speaker 2: this random call to go on the Bachelorette of all things,
Speaker 2: and that was kind of my step into this whole
Speaker 2: crazy world of entertainment and media about six years ago.
Speaker 1: Okay, now hold on a second. You just went through
Speaker 1: so much so fast. Here, let's break this down for
Speaker 1: a second. Okay, So, first off, I was just in
Speaker 1: Buffalo for the first time. Uh Is that right? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think that's right. First time I was in Rochester
Speaker 1: in Buffalo this last year, fantastic place.
Speaker 2: Well watch you there.
Speaker 1: Well I did something in Rochester and then I had
Speaker 1: something in Toronto, and I was told, uh yeah, that
Speaker 1: it was close. So I decided to drive. Although I
Speaker 1: will say when the people said, oh you just drive,
Speaker 1: that seemed very easy. No one would give me a
Speaker 1: car like no one would. No one would allow me
Speaker 1: to rent a car and drive it into Canada and
Speaker 1: then leave it in Canada. So I ended up this
Speaker 1: day Made of the Mist. I don't know, holds a
Speaker 1: special sentimental thing in my past, but I had never
Speaker 1: been on it myself. Uh, so I went on the
Speaker 1: Maid of the Mist. So I drove all the way
Speaker 1: to Canada, did the Maid of the Mist, and then
Speaker 1: drove back to Buffalo to get a car to take
Speaker 1: me literally right over the bridge where I just was
Speaker 1: to go into Canada. So that have you been on
Speaker 1: the Maid of the Mist?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Well I lived in Rochester for a few years,
Speaker 2: so that drive everybody's talking about. You're talking like four
Speaker 2: and a half hours, So I don't know who sent
Speaker 2: you that direction. But then you go to Niagara Falls,
Speaker 2: and the best part about Niagara Falls there's this old story.
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's even true that the mafia
Speaker 2: owns the American side and so they have held out,
Speaker 2: apparently on doing anything. I don't know if it's true,
Speaker 2: but if you look at the Canadian side, it's like
Speaker 2: a mini little Disneyland over there. They got Ferris Wheels
Speaker 2: and casuos and restaurants, and there's nothing on the on
Speaker 2: the American side. But I did the Maid and the
Speaker 2: miss with with like my thing is my high school
Speaker 2: sweetheart or one of my exes, so it too has
Speaker 2: a sentimental place in my heart.
Speaker 1: Run there you go, and now you went. You went
Speaker 1: to college, and you went to and you got a
Speaker 1: master's in business right at University of Rochester. You were
Speaker 1: just now, why did you want to get into business?
Speaker 1: Early on?
Speaker 2: I mean I started off as a as a history major,
Speaker 2: So if that tells you anything, I was just a
Speaker 2: lost kid in freshman year.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The one thing, the one thing that always intrigued me
Speaker 2: was my my grandfather was a hustler. Like he had
Speaker 2: he had like poker games underground at his house and
Speaker 2: he owned a small grocery store. And then my dad
Speaker 2: was always into businesses. And I started like lemonade stands
Speaker 2: when I was like six, trying to sell the most
Speaker 2: expensive lemonade. So I was always intrigued with with the
Speaker 2: the idea of business. But the biggest thing to me, Brian,
Speaker 2: was I feel like in my life I got you know,
Speaker 2: here and there I was lied to, Like I feel
Speaker 2: like stories in this world shift and context change. What
Speaker 2: I loved about numbers is that they don't lie, like
Speaker 2: they tell the truth. And so I was always attracted
Speaker 2: to numbers from an early ag job.
Speaker 1: Interesting and then why why Seattle and you were in
Speaker 1: You were in full on corporate banking, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was full corporate banking, full steam. And to me, Brian,
Speaker 2: it was like at this time, I was just like
Speaker 2: the yes man, like tell me where to go, and
Speaker 2: I'll go. So I took that whole mentality of like
Speaker 2: I will be early, I will stay late, I will
Speaker 2: exceed expectations. And I kind of lived the like entirety
Speaker 2: of my life through my twenties through my job title.
Speaker 2: And so when they offered me an opportunity to move
Speaker 2: to Seattle, I took it. Now I have a podcast
Speaker 2: called Trading Secrets, and so what we do on Trading
Speaker 2: Secrets I'd love to have yacht at some point. We
Speaker 2: have you know, different celebrities and public figures talk about,
Speaker 2: you know, where they made money, how much they made like,
Speaker 2: you know, whether it was Gronkowski, a Rod or one
Speaker 2: of the Real House of New York, Like what do
Speaker 2: you pay per episode? What'd you get paid on that
Speaker 2: brand deal? Where'd you lose money? Because I've always been
Speaker 2: intrigued with that. So I'm very open about money for
Speaker 2: your listeners when they hear me talk about it. And
Speaker 2: I liked, I think healthy conversations about money can like
Speaker 2: really help us as we're all trying to navigate in
Speaker 2: the world that we weren't taught this shit. So but
Speaker 2: I was twenty nine years old. I got offered this job.
Speaker 2: It was twenty seventeen, and it was one hundred and
Speaker 2: sixty five base, one hundred and ten signing bonus, and
Speaker 2: I could make up to like three times my base
Speaker 2: based on performance. So I didn't know one person Seattle,
Speaker 2: but I was like, I'll take in that deal. Let's
Speaker 2: go pack my bags and moved across the country.
Speaker 1: So I don't know. I mean, you brought up the mafia,
Speaker 1: and you brought up being like very transparent about money.
Speaker 1: I think maybe what you're going to learn about me
Speaker 1: today is I'm I might be connected. Oh I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't ever. I don't ever talk about my money.
Speaker 2: Oh you're one of those guys. So like if you
Speaker 2: if you were asked, if you were asked just that curious.
Speaker 2: You don't have to answer. It's your podcast, not mine.
Speaker 2: Would you be comfortable talking about like what you made
Speaker 2: on your episodic basis and how you negotiate and when
Speaker 2: you made like the big payday or does that make
Speaker 2: you like super uncomfortable?
Speaker 1: Yeah? No, no, Yeah, I don't know. I don't I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't you know. I had two hobbies that took
Speaker 1: a long long time, golf and and and poker, so
Speaker 1: I had I felt like I had to give up
Speaker 1: one for for life choices and and fail family sanity.
Speaker 1: So I gave up poker. But yeah, no, that used
Speaker 1: to be. At the like local game that we had
Speaker 1: in La was people would start talking about how much
Speaker 1: money I had on the table, and I would say that,
Speaker 1: don't talk about my money, talk about my money. Just
Speaker 1: concern yourself with yours and me taking it. I don't
Speaker 1: worry about my money.
Speaker 2: I love that. Now we had our podcast, we had
Speaker 2: Daniel ran on and hed a little bit about some
Speaker 2: of those underground games. We also had Molly Bluemon who
Speaker 2: right is from Molly's Game? Yes, I mean there's some
Speaker 2: crazy shit that happens in those underground games.
Speaker 1: Brian, Yeah, yeah, well those are not that's that's what
Speaker 1: that was above. That's that's that's above, my pig rade.
Speaker 1: I will I will fully admit I have not been
Speaker 1: in Molly's Game.
Speaker 2: I would would you ever admit the most amount of
Speaker 2: money at a poker table that's been in your stack?
Speaker 1: No? No, I wouldn't. No, I wouldn't. I mean maybe
Speaker 1: if we were having a beer and we weren't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but no, I do not, probably not. I don't know.
Speaker 1: That's fascinating to me. Well, here's people just want to
Speaker 1: talk to you about this on. I mean, this is
Speaker 1: a self, this is a cell right now about your
Speaker 1: Trading Secrets podcast. I mean, I'm definitely gonna listen to
Speaker 1: that now. I mean I was ready to plug it
Speaker 1: and check it out, but now kidding me, Well, here.
Speaker 2: Let me ask you this though, because I love these conversations.
Speaker 2: You don't have to answer any of them. But like,
Speaker 2: when you think about why you don't like talking about it,
Speaker 2: there is something behaviorally, and it could be good, it
Speaker 2: could be bad. It could be protection, it could be stigma, bragging,
Speaker 2: weaponizing what people think. Like, what do you think the
Speaker 2: real reason is when you hear like me asking you
Speaker 2: about your stack or what you made on an episodic basis, Like,
Speaker 2: why does that make you uncomfortable? What is it?
Speaker 1: You know, it's funny. I just made a joke. Who
Speaker 1: did I just make a joke? Oh yeah, I was
Speaker 1: hosting this thing with a profeon golfer and I started
Speaker 1: ribbing him. Uh because you know, of course the purses
Speaker 1: for professional golf tournaments are public, so I know exactly
Speaker 1: to the scent how much money he made on a
Speaker 1: particular weekend. Right, I think it's I don't know, maybe
Speaker 1: it's maybe it's my southern upbringing or something, and I
Speaker 1: that sounds like a hedge or something. I think it's
Speaker 1: uncouth to talk about money. Yeah, yeah, I mean in
Speaker 1: terms of myself, I'm I'm totally happy and I'm totally
Speaker 1: happy to discuss discuss things in general. But yeah, I mean, right,
Speaker 1: doesn't that make it just about you? And what you're
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think I think it's the exercise of like trying
Speaker 2: to analyze where is the situation where coming and talking
Speaker 2: about money is stopped at in your tracks, and then
Speaker 2: understanding why because I'm guessing, but just stay based on
Speaker 2: this conversation, I do feel if I asked you certain
Speaker 2: jobs you had before things went really well, or like
Speaker 2: maybe your toughest time trying to make it in that
Speaker 2: space when like you couldn't even maybe afford your next meal,
Speaker 2: what was that like? Or someone like the tough times.
Speaker 2: Some people get really comfortable talking about that, but it's
Speaker 2: like when they talk about the successes, it comes off
Speaker 2: they feel like braggadocious. But what I think is cool
Speaker 2: is that through each person's story, especially someone like you
Speaker 2: who's had such cool successes, through your story, there's a
Speaker 2: lot of people out there that are really really struggling
Speaker 2: but have the dreams and aspiration to be you. And
Speaker 2: it could be hearing your success and what you did
Speaker 2: in your times of disarray financially that keeps them focused,
Speaker 2: that keeps them motivated. So I think if we do
Speaker 2: it in a healthy, like non weaponizing way, we could
Speaker 2: actually like motivate inspire and learn a lot. That's kind
Speaker 2: of my thesis. And I think that if we don't
Speaker 2: talk about it, we're actually just like hurting ourselves as
Speaker 2: consumers and employees and business owners and just like our
Speaker 2: over all financial health.
Speaker 1: That's very interesting, and I think on a I think
Speaker 1: in a utopian from a in a utopian space, I
Speaker 1: hear what you're saying, but let's be honest with you.
Speaker 2: Yeahs it.
Speaker 1: And I'm speaking of truly, like just in general, if
Speaker 1: you're a quarterback in the National Football League and all
Speaker 1: those contracts are public, and you see a contract that
Speaker 1: you of someone who you believe you are better than,
Speaker 1: it becomes about getting one more dollar than that person.
Speaker 1: And what is that like? I will say this, I
Speaker 1: feel like I feel like for myself, I am at
Speaker 1: least proud of and at times maybe under sell myself.
Speaker 1: But I feel like I am able very often to
Speaker 1: analyze the situation and determine, based on whatever that particular
Speaker 1: market is, determine what I should be compensated. And I
Speaker 1: think the thing that's unique about what I know is
Speaker 1: unique about me and my perspective on that is in
Speaker 1: this world, it's about the negotiation, and you have lawyers
Speaker 1: who are UH who depend upon that negotiation UH to
Speaker 1: for their survival right, which of course ends up eating
Speaker 1: up a bunch of money. I say an amount of
Speaker 1: money and that's it, and there's.
Speaker 2: There's no negotiation that amount of money.
Speaker 1: Well no, but it's but it's not. It's not in
Speaker 1: an adversarial way. It's a I've I have preanalyzed your side,
Speaker 1: and I have determined that this is the right amount
Speaker 1: of money, and it's and I'm not over selling it,
Speaker 1: which to me makes things much simpler. And and it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter to me what anyone else is making or
Speaker 1: where I'm making in regard to anybody else. I have
Speaker 1: analyzed the situation. I believe this is the amount, and
Speaker 1: this is the amount.
Speaker 2: Interesting, I do think that is unconventional. I think it's
Speaker 2: a talent and skill set you have that most people don't.
Speaker 2: But I think if we look at like anything, and
Speaker 2: I love this conversation, by the way, if we look
Speaker 2: at like anything in America, everything that is that we
Speaker 2: do based on our willingness to pay the price of
Speaker 2: a stock, what we are paid, what we pay for gas.
Speaker 2: Obviously there's uncontrollables, but a lot of it is all
Speaker 2: based on your simple theory of economics, like willing to
Speaker 2: pay based on supply and demand, and then people fluctually. Right,
Speaker 2: we know restaurant prices are up twenty five percent last
Speaker 2: four years. We know that child daycare is up forty
Speaker 2: one percent in the last two years, so we know
Speaker 2: that prices changed based on economic conditions but also people's
Speaker 2: willingness to pay. So I think the idea of like
Speaker 2: the arbitrary of analyzing yourself and naming your numbers very specific,
Speaker 2: very unique. I feel like I want you to write
Speaker 2: a book on it because I want to read it.
Speaker 2: And I'll even go back to your quarterback statement, like
Speaker 2: I would actually disagree with your quarterback statement. And I
Speaker 2: think the people that have utilized the fact that they
Speaker 2: understand that they are underpaid but there's a greater long
Speaker 2: term play are the ones that are making more money
Speaker 2: than anyone. Now. Classic example, right, Tom Brady took a
Speaker 2: paid cut so that his team could be completely stacked.
Speaker 2: He won the Super Bowls that he did. And I
Speaker 2: guarantee you Tom Braid is making a minimum I would
Speaker 2: say a minimum of three x what he's making now
Speaker 2: than he was playing. And I know some of this
Speaker 2: is just even the small little bit of it is
Speaker 2: like even Gronk Brock has come on my show and
Speaker 2: talked about it. He's making way more money now than
Speaker 2: he did playing. So I think people that could eat
Speaker 2: or maybe even yourself, right, maybe if you were paid less,
Speaker 2: but you knew that your involvement in the show would
Speaker 2: be more. Your brand, your longevity if your brand is
Speaker 2: even greater. So I don't know. It's just fun conversation.
Speaker 2: But the one thing I'll say, and then we could
Speaker 2: pause this or we could go into a different direction,
Speaker 2: is with the book, is talk money to me? We
Speaker 2: know that having conversations with loved ones or our significant
Speaker 2: other about money statistically prove it puts us in a
Speaker 2: better position to succeed. And I could bore you with
Speaker 2: eight thousand stats, but that one we know for sure.
Speaker 1: I do want to dive into your store. You're in Seattle,
Speaker 1: you're working as a money manager. Tell me how did
Speaker 1: you get on the Bachelorette?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I got well, I did this thing. So
Speaker 2: Guilda's club. Gilda Radner, famous comedian. She died abruptly of
Speaker 2: ovarian cancer. So they created this non for profit called
Speaker 2: Guild this club and they did this Bachelor auction where
Speaker 2: they recruited thirty guys to come on and raise money
Speaker 2: for the non for profit. And that night I came
Speaker 2: out to old time rock and roll. Everyone's wearing like tuxedos,
Speaker 2: and I was like, I gotta win this thing. So
Speaker 2: I start stripping, I started taking everything off. I start
Speaker 2: going nuts, and I raised the most money of the
Speaker 2: thirty bachelors. So there was a video from that night
Speaker 2: that was sent to ABC of me, and you know,
Speaker 2: there's three thousand people in the audience and two people
Speaker 2: got submitted from that night to The Bachelor, one being
Speaker 2: my best friend. So you're not gonna believe this. Eight
Speaker 2: months goes by after that auction. I don't even live
Speaker 2: in New York. I get a call, Hey, are you single?
Speaker 2: And do you still live in New York? So no,
Speaker 2: I'm single. We live in Seattle, and they tell me
Speaker 2: they're from The Bachelor. That day, my best buddy calls me.
Speaker 2: He's like, you're not gonna believe what happened. I said,
Speaker 2: you're not gonna believe what happened. And we went through
Speaker 2: the casting process from this batchl auction eight nine months before.
Speaker 1: That's unbelievable. What so, But somebody else sent it and
Speaker 1: then they contacted you to see if you were interested
Speaker 1: in doing it correct, Why did you want to do it?
Speaker 2: That's the golden question. My parents were ready to kill me, but.
Speaker 1: I would have too, by the way, But anyway, continue.
Speaker 2: They're like, what the hell you're doing? My mom has
Speaker 2: watched the show since day one. She's like, literally, she oh,
Speaker 2: she watched. She knows everything. She knows everything. So Brian,
Speaker 2: she tells me, my only escape from you, your brother
Speaker 2: and your father is this damn show. You're not getting involved?
Speaker 2: And here I am. Years later, so touched it, but
Speaker 2: I ended up going because I found I kind of
Speaker 2: told you a little earlier, but I was just chasing
Speaker 2: so much career, career, career. I kind of lost myself
Speaker 2: and I just had no I was just like, what
Speaker 2: am I doing with my life? I'm so focused on
Speaker 2: my job. Even the way I talk and dress, it's
Speaker 2: literally connected to my title. And so I said in
Speaker 2: ABC's calling to go on a show, and I'm just
Speaker 2: like kid born in this small town. I'm a greasy
Speaker 2: banker and they want me to go, Like, hell, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm going. Why would I not go, so I.
Speaker 1: And the experience positive for you. Did you fall in love?
Speaker 2: So?
Speaker 1: Did you fall in love? Over the course of nine
Speaker 1: weeks on the Bachelorette? Did you fall in love?
Speaker 2: I feel like Bride's judging me so hard this podcast.
Speaker 1: We're getting into it. When the first we talked money,
Speaker 1: Now we're going to talk about this, you fall in
Speaker 1: love with Becca.
Speaker 2: I'm going to answer your question before I do. I
Speaker 2: promise i'll answer it before I do. I want to
Speaker 2: tell you about the because I think it's a poker player.
Speaker 2: You'd be impressed with this. To get the bank to
Speaker 2: allow me to go on the show, I went back
Speaker 2: and watched the previous seasons. I then asked producers information
Speaker 2: so I had an idea of numbers. So on average,
Speaker 2: there's thirty people from the cast that go on the show.
Speaker 2: After night one, on average, one third of them are
Speaker 2: gone after night two filming. They say it's two weeks,
Speaker 2: but it's really only three days. After week two, roughly
Speaker 2: like forty percent are gone, and after a month only
Speaker 2: four people are left. So I use this like mathematical
Speaker 2: breakdown of my likelihood of when I would return back
Speaker 2: to work in the percentage, and it was like an
Speaker 2: eighty seven point nine percent chance I'd be back and
Speaker 2: work in four weeks. And that's how the company actually
Speaker 2: let me use vacation time and go on a reality show.
Speaker 2: So I thought, as a poker guy, you would like that.
Speaker 1: Well, so okay, so you have.
Speaker 2: What my boss thought, and he's like, you gotta be
Speaker 2: shitting me. And then it went to the VP, and
Speaker 2: then it went all the way to the president of
Speaker 2: the entire bank, who's looking at this breakdown of how
Speaker 2: many people from the Bachelor get certain roses and how
Speaker 2: many weeks and give the kid us his vacation.
Speaker 1: There you know what I thought you were going to say,
Speaker 1: which this would have been perfect, This would have been smarter,
Speaker 1: but this would have gotten you on quicker. You tell
Speaker 1: them go through and analyze how much money those people
Speaker 1: have or how much they will have after the show,
Speaker 1: and say, look, I'm not going on to find love.
Speaker 1: I'm going on because I'm going to manage all of
Speaker 1: their money when they're done. I'm going to make them
Speaker 1: like me and then then then I can manage their money.
Speaker 1: You didn't think about that one.
Speaker 2: Do you own a consulting business, Brian, Because I'm ready
Speaker 2: to hire you today. That's good, all right, I'll get
Speaker 2: back to your question. I won't.
Speaker 1: So they Yeah, did you fall in love?
Speaker 2: How many?
Speaker 1: How many? So nine weeks was not nine weeks or
Speaker 1: nine episodes.
Speaker 2: No, so so in the early section they have to
Speaker 2: do it fast because when they do like hometowns and
Speaker 2: actually fly to your home or you fly international, it
Speaker 2: takes longer. So the whole filming process was about actually
Speaker 2: three months, but most of the cast is eliminated in
Speaker 2: the first four or five weeks, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1: So you were there three months?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we got we got to go to Buffalo from
Speaker 2: my hometowns. I didn't do the Maid of the Myss,
Speaker 2: but we got to go.
Speaker 1: I should have done the Miss Ship. Did you fall
Speaker 1: in love with Becca Koufrian?
Speaker 2: Yeah? And TV Land I was falling in love with Becca.
Speaker 2: But then you because when you're doing it, Brent, you
Speaker 2: don't get your phone, no TV, no Internet, you can't
Speaker 2: talk to your family, you can't talk to friends, you
Speaker 2: don't hear music, and you're sequestered. Oh, you're sequestered. So
Speaker 2: like the only woman that I saw in like three
Speaker 2: months other than a producer or two, was her. So
Speaker 2: like you're and she's great, she's amazing. But I think
Speaker 2: in like.
Speaker 1: All the producers are married, all the producer women. It's
Speaker 1: the requirement. You have to be married, so you can
Speaker 1: only see one single woman over the course of three months. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, you have your home town thing.
Speaker 1: You see some other Yeah, but it's some old gal
Speaker 1: friends there.
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, no, you're in. You're in. Like
Speaker 2: when you go to hometowns, you're in your hotel. You
Speaker 2: can go to dinner with the producer. You go back
Speaker 2: to your hotel, and you're only coming out for filming,
Speaker 2: so you're not like going to meet up with buddies
Speaker 2: and stuff. You're you're in their world. So in TV land,
Speaker 2: actually you fell in love in TV land?
Speaker 1: Yeah, what is that? Okay? I understand what you mean
Speaker 1: in TV land, but like, but you your heart, you
Speaker 1: fell in love.
Speaker 2: At the time during that moment when I said it,
Speaker 2: I felt it to the core.
Speaker 1: Okay, you felt it to the core.
Speaker 2: Two weeks after I like got like, whoa, You're out
Speaker 2: of this like hypnosis state of TV Land. I was like,
Speaker 2: what the hell did I just do? Like what was that?
Speaker 2: How did that happen?
Speaker 1: Right? So yeah, right, like you, you're like I. And
Speaker 1: then because here's the thing. If you if like if
Speaker 1: you say to someone that you love them and you
Speaker 1: want to marry them in real life and it and
Speaker 1: something goes awry, like they choose your best friend, Like
Speaker 1: they choose your best friend instead of you, This could
Speaker 1: be a This could be debilitating for years, right am
Speaker 1: I not crazy about that? Like if you're like essentially
Speaker 1: left at the altar, I want to propose to you
Speaker 1: and you're like, no, I like your best friend more,
Speaker 1: this would be debilitating, right, like in real in real
Speaker 1: non TV life.
Speaker 2: I mean, don't you tell me what's worse? Brian, So
Speaker 2: I came in third, right right, and but one of
Speaker 2: my very very good friends that season still to this day,
Speaker 2: he came in second. So he proposed and she said
Speaker 2: no and went to the other guy. I actually I
Speaker 2: have been you know, I've been on this journey for
Speaker 2: three months. I'm going through it. I'm through the ringer
Speaker 2: and then I get to the fantasy suitet dates. So
Speaker 2: it's like, okay, here we go. You know, that's it's
Speaker 2: fantasy sueet dates and at dinner right for a fantasy
Speaker 2: sweet night. I got dumped that fantasy sweet night. So
Speaker 2: you tell me what's worked. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean, but that would be demilitating. But
Speaker 1: what you're saying is is that a couple of weeks later,
Speaker 1: you you know you're good. I mean, you're okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think.
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 2: The reality is what's crazy about this show is you
Speaker 2: actually you watch it all back. So you film for
Speaker 2: a few months and then you watch it all back.
Speaker 2: So then you're seeing this girl that you fell in
Speaker 2: love with with all these other guys. You're like, oh wow,
Speaker 2: her connection is way better with them, and the now
Speaker 2: here's the curveball of all curve balls, because you know,
Speaker 2: my story gets even a little more interesting where yeah ahead,
Speaker 2: if you're into that one. Well, the thing is is
Speaker 2: you think about the person. And this is when I
Speaker 2: have so much sympathy for the people that actually end
Speaker 2: up together. These two are engaged, they're in this like hiatus,
Speaker 2: they're living their best life, and then they have to
Speaker 2: go watch back every episode and this person that they're
Speaker 2: engaged with and now planning their whole life with them
Speaker 2: moving in is like literally like hooking up and falling
Speaker 2: in love with all these people, and you have to
Speaker 2: see it on TV Wow America like picks them as
Speaker 2: a fan favorite. How hard is that got to be?
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, that's tough. That's oh I didn't think about that.
Speaker 1: That in a way is worse than like any And
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about hook I'm not talking about anything
Speaker 1: totally untoward. But that's worse than like bad behavior at
Speaker 1: a bachelor party, right, I mean, this is like you're
Speaker 1: actually watching real feelings play out between two people right
Speaker 1: on the doorstep of your engagement. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean I haven't been there. When I've talked to
Speaker 2: those people that have been through it, and they're like,
Speaker 2: it's brutal because you're also you're watching everything. You're watching
Speaker 2: them fall in love, You're watching them interact with the
Speaker 2: other family, You're watching them interact with your family. You're
Speaker 2: watching that person pick out a potential ring. So it's
Speaker 2: like all these things and people say, you know, the
Speaker 2: Bachelor franchise has struggled with having successful relationships, which it has,
Speaker 2: but they attribute it to all different things. I think
Speaker 2: the number one reason is because you have to watch
Speaker 2: all this back and so much resentment is built, and
Speaker 2: then you're you're thrown into this world of like media,
Speaker 2: which you've never seen, and it's just like the spin
Speaker 2: of it all creates mayhem.
Speaker 1: Well, okay, maybe, but isn't it also.
Speaker 2: Like what do you mean? Maybe? What do you well?
Speaker 1: Isn't it also like, I mean, there's a there's a
Speaker 1: fantastic movie called The Truman Show, which is I mean,
Speaker 1: it's not exactly the same, but you are essentially choosing
Speaker 1: a pool of people that producers have chosen who they
Speaker 1: believe will make good television for people to watch. For
Speaker 1: this person to you know, potentially be with. Right, I mean,
Speaker 1: you're not going You're not going into a bar, yeah,
Speaker 1: or a or a you know, restaurant or whatever with
Speaker 1: three hundred people and going all right, I'm gonna choose
Speaker 1: those twelve.
Speaker 2: Right, No, Yeah, you're right, You're right.
Speaker 1: Fair So fascinating. Have you been approached to go back again?
Speaker 2: I have. The last time I was ever approached was
Speaker 2: to go on Paradise like twenty eighteen, and then I
Speaker 2: signed a contract to be the bacher, but they went
Speaker 2: with a different guy. So I have not that approach
Speaker 2: to do anything from a cast perspective since twenty eighteen.
Speaker 1: So so you signed? So is this is this like
Speaker 1: my line of work? You sign a contract and then
Speaker 1: they choose from a couple of people. Is that what happens.
Speaker 2: Yep, that's what happens. Yeah, my god, what they do
Speaker 2: in your world too?
Speaker 1: Yes? Are you serious? Yeah, well you know that's big.
Speaker 1: You know about money, that's why that is yeah, they yes,
Speaker 1: but you are negotiating with three people, three people, right,
Speaker 1: three people at the same time. That's usually what it
Speaker 1: is in my world. Three people. So that you signed
Speaker 1: three contracts to be on a show, and then they
Speaker 1: have the they can execute it exactly.
Speaker 2: The difference is, you guys are getting paid a whole
Speaker 2: lot of money. We're all getting paid the exact same
Speaker 2: and it's not that much money.
Speaker 1: And so I actually, well, the leverage point you're all
Speaker 1: all of yours is the same contract.
Speaker 2: The leverage point is like they might know exactly who
Speaker 2: they're gonna have no matter what, and then they bring
Speaker 2: in three people, and the leverage point is the person
Speaker 2: that is their number one will not negotiate anything, not
Speaker 2: even just thought about anything, because they know if they do,
Speaker 2: the number two, three person will be slotted. So it
Speaker 2: puts you in a position where you really can't negotiate
Speaker 2: at all. But what I almost did, which connects to
Speaker 2: the example earlier. I almost revert. I wish they wouldn't
Speaker 2: have picked me anyway, but I almost reverse negotiated where
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, pay me nothing to do it,
Speaker 2: I'll actually do it for free because the the actual
Speaker 2: present value of that role is so much, so much
Speaker 2: greater than the actual dollar amount you're provided to do it.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, love, sweep love. Oh but oh maybe I
Speaker 1: can't who That's the promo right there.
Speaker 2: No one in twenty twenty four, and I mean, nobody
Speaker 2: in twenty twenty four goes on reality TV without an angle.
Speaker 1: Nobody, nobody goes on without an angle.
Speaker 2: No in twenty twenty four, not one, not one.
Speaker 1: Okay, you ended up having a relationship, and see, look
Speaker 1: I don't talk about relationships with very many of my guests,
Speaker 1: but it seems really important. You got together with another
Speaker 1: former bachelorette, Caitlin Bristow for a long period of time.
Speaker 1: Now was this something that this happened naturally? Yeah?
Speaker 2: So this was very organic. This was not like this
Speaker 2: was not filmed. No, we were out. It's just like
Speaker 2: Truman show broke through the walls and then he met someone.
Speaker 2: So we weren't in the Truman Show.
Speaker 1: Thank you for going to thank you for going with
Speaker 1: my analogy there so okay, and then and then that
Speaker 1: that also did not work out for other other reasons.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So we were together for you know, we met
Speaker 2: after so they decided to go with the other bats Or.
Speaker 2: She has a podcast which does very well. I went
Speaker 2: out our podcast. She asked me, like, what's what now?
Speaker 2: You know what happens now, what's your life gonna look like?
Speaker 2: We actually met that day, started dating thereafter, and we
Speaker 2: were together for about four and a half years. In
Speaker 2: the last summer that that didn't work out, So here
Speaker 2: we are.
Speaker 1: My question really is about having so much of your
Speaker 1: personal life play out and you know, I mean we
Speaker 1: have fun. I have fun, hopefully you have fun. It
Speaker 1: is a part of it, right, It's what you just
Speaker 1: talked about going on reality TV. There there's an angle,
Speaker 1: and so part of that is it feels like you
Speaker 1: have to let your personal life play out in public.
Speaker 1: Right Is that is that? Is that? Is that? Right? Yeah?
Speaker 1: For better or worse, Not that you love it all
Speaker 1: the time, but that's a part of it, right.
Speaker 2: It's it's for I would say, the way it is
Speaker 2: is it's for better at very high level and like
Speaker 2: very highs and for better and very worse at very
Speaker 2: deep worse like it's it's very extremes of showcasing your
Speaker 2: personal life, uh to everyone. But I remember the first
Speaker 2: couple of weeks, I was just trying to understand it all,
Speaker 2: and I was so worried about like an edit and
Speaker 2: things like this, and a producer said it best to me.
Speaker 2: They said, listen, when you sign up for this, what
Speaker 2: you're doing is you're getting out a roller coaster. And
Speaker 2: when you get on a roller coaster, you have one option.
Speaker 2: You strap in and you enjoy it, or you shrap
Speaker 2: in and you're miserable. But no matter what you do
Speaker 2: in that roller coaster, there's gonna be that turn, there's
Speaker 2: gonna be the scare of going up, there's gonna be
Speaker 2: the crazy fall. It's gonna happen. So while you're on
Speaker 2: this show, you're on a roller coaster. And what I
Speaker 2: recognize is even after the show now with social media,
Speaker 2: it's the same roller coaster. But you don't think about it. Brian,
Speaker 2: You you have a skill. You are a very skilled human.
Speaker 2: You are funny, You are an actor. You've worked on
Speaker 2: your trait. You've built this community reality TV stars. For
Speaker 2: the most part, our only superpower is opening up our
Speaker 2: personal life. So those who try to fight it are
Speaker 2: those who try to over edit themselves or those who
Speaker 2: try to put on something else. The truth all we
Speaker 2: surfaces and it won't work, it won't last. There's zero
Speaker 2: longevity for doing so. So it's almost like you have
Speaker 2: no other choice should you step into this world.
Speaker 1: So, in other words, if you step into this role,
Speaker 1: you say no, then you're then then you shouldn't have
Speaker 1: even stepped in to begin with, because you're you're done. Yeah,
Speaker 1: is that what you're saying? I mean yeah.
Speaker 2: People that say no, two things happen. Either they get
Speaker 2: cut out from the show because they make terrible TV
Speaker 2: because they won't open up and there's no purpose for them.
Speaker 2: Or they say no with the idea of I am
Speaker 2: going to be something I'm not. And the problem is
Speaker 2: this world is too transparent and the truth always right,
Speaker 2: bodies always float to the surface, like truth always surfaces,
Speaker 2: Like eventually they end up getting their stuff, like it
Speaker 2: will like blow up on them, you know, Like someone
Speaker 2: will have a girlfriend then go on the show and
Speaker 2: act like they're single. And falling in love and then
Speaker 2: what do you know, like that gets exposed and all
Speaker 2: of a sudden everything blows up. So it's either know
Speaker 2: wing they go away or knowing it blows up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's interesting to me. I mean, you know, I
Speaker 1: got married and I found out at the reception that
Speaker 1: I needed to comment to a magazine that will not
Speaker 1: be named about my wedding that's just happened. And I said, well,
Speaker 1: that's none o their business. Of course, no comment, And
Speaker 1: my publicist was kneeling next to me and said, well,
Speaker 1: if you don't comment, it's coming out anyway, because they
Speaker 1: were there and we had people hanging from the trees
Speaker 1: outside of my house taking pictures of various guests that
Speaker 1: were in my own home that came there, and then
Speaker 1: forced me on that day to answer to their whim.
Speaker 1: I'm not getting I'm not selling pictures, I'm not getting paid.
Speaker 1: But now I've subjected my guests, many of which who
Speaker 1: are famous, to that I won't ever speak to that
Speaker 1: publication anymore. Same publication came to me after the birth
Speaker 1: of my first daughter, and I said, no comment, and
Speaker 1: they said, well, we know the story, like we know already,
Speaker 1: And I said you know, not to them specifically, but
Speaker 1: I said fuck you, and I on my Instagram you
Speaker 1: can see to this day that announcement by me with
Speaker 1: all the details that I could think that they could
Speaker 1: possibly know about the birth of my first daughter, because
Speaker 1: I wasn't going to give that to them. So what
Speaker 1: I'm saying is is that I work in such a
Speaker 1: different way that for me, like the idea of that
Speaker 1: and you having that all of the time just must
Speaker 1: be incredibly difficult. And as you say, there are highs,
Speaker 1: there are highs that I'm sure are are fantastic, but
Speaker 1: I just, yeah, it's it's really it's a it's a
Speaker 1: it's a difficulty that I struggle with all of the
Speaker 1: time because I chose to be an actor and I chose,
Speaker 1: I guess to be in film and television and understand
Speaker 1: what comes along with that. But I think there's a
Speaker 1: line for me, There's there's a line. And you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I say that, I feel badly
Speaker 1: for you. I feel bad that those things have to
Speaker 1: play out in the press.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I mean, you know you were you were
Speaker 2: extremely light with it, right, Like there are some discussions
Speaker 2: you have when you're doing a new project or something
Speaker 2: like Brett, you know that my book, that's the world I'm promoting.
Speaker 2: But like, there are some places you go to promote
Speaker 2: your book and it's it's not like how is your
Speaker 2: relationship you break up? It's everything you can possibly think
Speaker 2: of in the darkest way, people asking, And so I
Speaker 2: think the way I've I've approached it is listen, especially
Speaker 2: people from the Bachelor franchise, you can do really really
Speaker 2: cool things with the platform that we're given because of
Speaker 2: the show. And there's a handful of people that have
Speaker 2: done unbelievably exceptional things. But it's almost impossible. It's almost
Speaker 2: impossible to remove and or completely eliminate Bachelor being from
Speaker 2: your resume or spoken about when you're doing things. And
Speaker 2: it's a challenge. But do you wish that it was
Speaker 2: in a perfect world? Yeah, in a perfect world, yes,
Speaker 2: And I think that's what people try to do. They
Speaker 2: try to build their brands, but the reality is is
Speaker 2: that it never will and actually being attached to it
Speaker 2: helps a lot too. So it's one of these things.
Speaker 2: It's like it's a give and take, it's a love hate.
Speaker 2: It just is what it is, and it's something you
Speaker 2: just can't escape and reality TV is just so. And
Speaker 2: the things that come from reality TV, the monetization of
Speaker 2: brands after reality TV, the business side of reality TV,
Speaker 2: it is so much different, right of course, as you
Speaker 2: know then, like the business of a famous actor comedian
Speaker 2: like yourself. Because what's crazy and I know this because
Speaker 2: I own a talent agency now is what a lot
Speaker 2: of the time propels people's brand for it in the
Speaker 2: reality unscripted space, what's the gasoline to the fire. A
Speaker 2: lot of it is making sure that they're at your wedding,
Speaker 2: making sure you're talking about these things, these things you
Speaker 2: hide from unfortunately, and unscripted space. I don't want to
Speaker 2: speak for everybody, for a lot it's actually what fuels it.
Speaker 2: So it's like pick your poison if you still want
Speaker 2: to be in the game. And it's a crazy space,
Speaker 2: it's freaking nuts.
Speaker 1: But yeah, you know, I'm not I'm not gonna mention
Speaker 1: the name, but I it's so funny. I tell the
Speaker 1: story to friends all the time. This was the first
Speaker 1: time I realized to what degree this this was happening.
Speaker 1: And this is a number of this is a number
Speaker 1: of years ago. This is when more like you know,
Speaker 1: the quote unquote paparazzi was bigger and getting, you know,
Speaker 1: getting photographed here or there out, you know, in supposed
Speaker 1: private moments. And I was in an airport. I was
Speaker 1: flying from New York to LA and I had the
Speaker 1: two people on the plane with me. We were walking
Speaker 1: through the airport of JFK and they're like stumbling like
Speaker 1: with their bags. They're carrying a lot of bags with them,
Speaker 1: and this guy kind of comes out of the shadows,
Speaker 1: it seems to me, and like comes out and uh,
Speaker 1: the woman that I'm referring to, like hands him one
Speaker 1: of her carry on and like her jacket and her
Speaker 1: pillow for the plane and all the stuff. And they
Speaker 1: are walking together, and suddenly I realized, oh, this is
Speaker 1: a paparazzi. I mean talking about fueling your own and
Speaker 1: setting this. I mean this literally, they have told this
Speaker 1: person that they know that they're going to be walking
Speaker 1: through the New York airport. And then sure enough, because
Speaker 1: I consciously went the next day and looked, there were
Speaker 1: the photographs, the supposed like private, secretive paparazzi photographs in
Speaker 1: JFK that he was actually carrying their bags. I mean,
Speaker 1: it was just that's and this a number of years ago.
Speaker 1: I'm older and jaded now, but like at the time,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, this is how it works, Like
Speaker 1: this is all a scam somehow when they catch me,
Speaker 1: it's totally by accident. But these people like have set
Speaker 1: it up, no wonder, they look much better than I do.
Speaker 2: That is so funny you just said that, because especially
Speaker 2: in the reality space, like I would say ninety percent
Speaker 2: of all paparazzi reality TV is set up. The other
Speaker 2: thing that's set up is people will get brands to
Speaker 2: take so they'll wear the brand when they're super hot
Speaker 2: off the show, and they'll plan when the paparazzi's going
Speaker 2: to capture them in the brand so that that brand
Speaker 2: ends up in a magazine and therefore they actually get
Speaker 2: paid for it. And I know people in the batch
Speaker 2: or space that have called like TMZ TMZ on them
Speaker 2: and some of them don't even admit it. But I
Speaker 2: got so flustered the other day because I went to
Speaker 2: I was doing this deal with Capital One cafe. I
Speaker 2: was going to speak at their cafe, and someone from
Speaker 2: TMZ came up to me asking about a rumor they
Speaker 2: heard of a relationship. And I was so flustered. I
Speaker 2: was so caught off dark, I was so rattled, and
Speaker 2: I was so pissed because now everyone knows. Everyone knows
Speaker 2: or at least things into space like you called them,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I didn't.
Speaker 1: Call it some mess.
Speaker 2: I was like sweating, and I know a TMZ guy
Speaker 2: texted and I said, bro, what the hell? Like I thought,
Speaker 2: we were like, you couldn't give me a tip? And
Speaker 2: he goes, He goes, dude, I would have been there.
Speaker 2: I would have tipped you off. I didn't know about it,
Speaker 2: and so it just happened two weeks ago, and I
Speaker 2: had literally no idea. But most people literally call it
Speaker 2: on themselves.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've never done it. I've never called them myself.
Speaker 1: We talked about Trading Secrets podcast after this conversation here
Speaker 1: is you have a new subscriber for sure for me.
Speaker 1: But I really want to talk about your new book.
Speaker 1: I love the title talk Money to Me. Did you
Speaker 1: ever consider talk money to me baby? Did you ever
Speaker 1: think about that?
Speaker 2: Well, it's a little play on talk dirty to me
Speaker 2: that you know.
Speaker 1: The Yeah, I was trying to eight essential financial questions
Speaker 1: to discuss with your partner. What's the biggest, most important
Speaker 1: financial question that you should always talk money to your
Speaker 1: partner about.
Speaker 2: Well, the thing is this is that we know right
Speaker 2: now that money arguments is second leading reason for divorce.
Speaker 2: We know that seventy three percent of couples say that
Speaker 2: money creates material tension in the relationship, and of those
Speaker 2: seventy three percent, over half of them attributed to decreased
Speaker 2: intimacy from money. So the biggest topic here in the
Speaker 2: question they ask, like, what's the number one question? The
Speaker 2: biggest thing we need to do is stop hiding, stop shaming,
Speaker 2: stop weaponizing. If you're not comfortable, like we talked about
Speaker 2: here today, Brian talking it to the million people that
Speaker 2: listen to your podcast, I get it. But to the
Speaker 2: person that you absolutely love, the person that contractually financially
Speaker 2: you're connected to, we know we have to start talking.
Speaker 2: So the step one is like, let's start have the conversations,
Speaker 2: and then step two would be, you know these eight
Speaker 2: numbers that identify as the most essential to talk about
Speaker 2: with your significant other.
Speaker 1: Is there one one of those questions that you feel
Speaker 1: like is the most important.
Speaker 2: If I had to say the number one, I would
Speaker 2: say it's understanding what is your net worth? And how
Speaker 2: can we go over our networth on a quarterly or
Speaker 2: bi weekly or annual basis. And the reason I say
Speaker 2: networth is because net worth is everyone thinks, google networth,
Speaker 2: how much is it? But no, everyone has a networth.
Speaker 2: Everyone that's listening does. And all it does is it
Speaker 2: gives you a direct snapshot of everything, of your debt,
Speaker 2: of the money that's spent, of the money that comes
Speaker 2: in and through your net worth, you can't hide things.
Speaker 2: And we know in forty three percent of couples there's
Speaker 2: one person forty three percent of the time that's committing
Speaker 2: financial infidelity, which is like hiding money or hiding purchases
Speaker 2: that are a material amount. So the net worth captures
Speaker 2: everything and it allows you, guys to be on the
Speaker 2: same page with how it's moving up, down, left or right.
Speaker 1: Do you think you need to disclose to your partner
Speaker 1: every time you go to Starbucks?
Speaker 2: Absolutely?
Speaker 1: No, Okay, perfect, that's not a material thing.
Speaker 2: What I'm talking about, Brian, is like I but I
Speaker 2: interviewed people that had financial fraud right, and I got
Speaker 2: hundreds and I actually got over a thousand emails, And
Speaker 2: I ask people, tell me about a financial fraud story
Speaker 2: in your life, your loved ones and like one of
Speaker 2: the examples is a woman gets married to this guy.
Speaker 2: She went by Jane Doe. She want to be anonymous.
Speaker 2: They're married for a year after they met. He has
Speaker 2: good income with a bad credit, That's what he tells her.
Speaker 2: She has great credit, Okay income. She takes out the mortgage.
Speaker 2: She agrees that he will venmo her half of the
Speaker 2: amount for the house. They agree to it, no contracts.
Speaker 2: They close on the house the day they close. The
Speaker 2: irs owns her house because he has hundreds of thousands
Speaker 2: of dollars in back taxes. She never knew about it.
Speaker 2: He never told her. And these things happen all the time.
Speaker 2: So I'm not talking about the Starbucks run. I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: Stuff like that. Oh my god. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Or did you see Tinder Swindler there's Netflix. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: we did a follow up with one of the girls.
Speaker 2: She got swindled. The whole world knows this guy's a
Speaker 2: scumbag and took advantage of them. She got swindled in
Speaker 2: fifty four days. The systems allowed her to take over
Speaker 2: two hundred thousand dollars in debt and she was making
Speaker 2: only only sixty thousand dollars a year. Still to this
Speaker 2: day she is liable zero forgiveness. She's had to claim bankruptcy.
Speaker 2: So even in situations like that where the whole world
Speaker 2: knows the truth and that you were taking advantage of,
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, you're accountable for your decisions.
Speaker 2: And if you don't talk about it and you don't
Speaker 2: know about it, you could be leaving yourself susceptible.
Speaker 1: How is he out like?
Speaker 2: How well, what he did was like the mechanics.
Speaker 1: It was a gift or something, and so.
Speaker 2: Well he got right. What he did was he convinced
Speaker 2: the people. He found certain personality types. So if you're
Speaker 2: listening to this and you have a personality type in
Speaker 2: which you could be taking advantage of, or you're a
Speaker 2: people plaser, you are susceptible to be taking advantage of.
Speaker 2: But he would find those personality types. He would convince
Speaker 2: them through manipulation to open credit cards. He would and
Speaker 2: then convince them through manipulation to give him the number.
Speaker 2: He would run everything up and then they were liable
Speaker 2: because he never signed for it. He never initiated they did.
Speaker 2: He just convinced it to do them. So all the
Speaker 2: debt that he put on their cards they're still liable for.
Speaker 1: Well, it makes a whole lot of sense to me
Speaker 1: that you need to have these open conversations. And I
Speaker 1: think that you know, whether it's monthly or bi annually
Speaker 1: or you know, as you said, every few months, have
Speaker 1: a scheduled conversation where you're talking about And I like
Speaker 1: what you said too, because it's not how much money
Speaker 1: you're making, but if it's true net worth, then yeah,
Speaker 1: all of your debt, credit card, mortgage, you know, all
Speaker 1: of that stuff is all sort of laid out on
Speaker 1: the table. So that and it's not about I mean,
Speaker 1: I assume you would say it's not about saying, oh
Speaker 1: we're in trouble or oh dear God. But it's just like,
Speaker 1: let's just look at it and make sure that we're
Speaker 1: all on the same page, and if they're things that
Speaker 1: we wanted you differently, we can right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's exactly like it's a little saying network is
Speaker 2: not your self worth. But it's just like let's have
Speaker 2: visibility to it and work as a unit on it
Speaker 2: and see it as a unit because we know that
Speaker 2: like all the metrics that define success in relationship, like
Speaker 2: you know, even sex drive, even breakups, like everything is
Speaker 2: connected when your money is like managed as a unit
Speaker 2: as opposed to different directions. So that's that's the overall thought.
Speaker 1: Talk money to me, baby, that's that's I need that
Speaker 1: on my book. No, it's talk money to Me. Jason.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, and you know what, listen, thank
Speaker 1: you for being open to this conversation. I mean we
Speaker 1: talked about things that I may not have been totally
Speaker 1: comfortable with it. We also talked about things that you
Speaker 1: weren't comfortable with. I think it's the start of a
Speaker 1: great relationship.
Speaker 2: I think so too. I'm looking forward to it. If
Speaker 2: you guys are listening to this, go DM Brian and
Speaker 2: tell them to come on Training Secrets and Brian, let's
Speaker 2: have you on man. Let's talk money by.
Speaker 1: Trading secrets available as we say, wherever you get your
Speaker 1: podcasts and also the new book Talk Money to Me. Jason,
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I really appreciate you coming on.
Speaker 2: Brian, you're the man. Thank you so much for having
Speaker 2: me and whether it's poker or beer whatever, I look
Speaker 2: forward to hopefully connected soon.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, Thanks ma'am.
Speaker 2: All right, take care.
Speaker 1: Jason. Wow, you really made me think about some things
Speaker 1: that I have not been historically all that open about
Speaker 1: I'm not sure I'm going to start sharing my personal
Speaker 1: life and finances all over, but I am certainly thinking
Speaker 1: about them. Thank you so much for accepting this podcast invitation.
Speaker 1: I don't have roses for you, but you can come
Speaker 1: back anytime. Jason's new book Talk Money to Me is
Speaker 1: hitting bookshelves as we speak, and his podcast Trading Secrets
Speaker 1: is available wherever you listen to podcasts. I know I'm
Speaker 1: going to be turning in check those out today. Come
Speaker 1: back here next week for more of well, more of me.
Speaker 1: Until then, have a good week. Off the Beat is
Speaker 1: hosted and executive produced by me Brian Baumgartner, alongside our
Speaker 1: executive producer Lang Lee. Our senior producer is Diego Tapia.
Speaker 1: Our producers are Liz Hayes, Hannah Harris, and Emily Carr.
Speaker 1: Our talent producer is Ryan Papa Zachary, and our intern
Speaker 1: is Ali Amir Sahi. Our theme song Bubble and Squeak,
Speaker 1: performed by the one and only Creed Bratton,