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Speaker 1: Did you fall in love with Becca Kufrian?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and TV Land I was falling in love with Becca.

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Speaker 2: But then you because when you're doing it, Brian, you

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Speaker 2: don't get your phone, no TV, no Internet, you can't

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Speaker 2: talk to your family, you can't talk to friends, you

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Speaker 2: don't hear music, and you're sequestered. Oh, you're sequestered. So like,

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Speaker 2: the only woman that I saw in like three months

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Speaker 2: and then a producer or two was her, So like,

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Speaker 2: you're and she's great, she's amazing, But I thinking, like.

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Speaker 1: All the producers are married, all the producer women is

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Speaker 1: the requirement you have to be married, so you can

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Speaker 1: only see one single woman over the course of three months. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: welcome back everybody. This is Off the Beat and I

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Speaker 1: am your host, Brian bomb Partner, my guest today is

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Speaker 1: a super successful business owner. He is a podcast host,

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Speaker 1: he is an author, but he is probably best known

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Speaker 1: for his dating life. That's right, Bachelor Nation, Rise up

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Speaker 1: wherever you are, because today I am speaking with Jason Tartig.

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Speaker 1: He was a rising star in corporate banking in Seattle.

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Speaker 1: He was plucked from obscurity and into the glorious world

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Speaker 1: of reality dating television. He appeared on season fourteen of

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Speaker 1: The Bachelorette with Beca, But sadly, he did not find

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Speaker 1: true love. We'll discuss that today, I promise. But despite

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Speaker 1: his nationally broadcast heartbreak, he has bounced back to become

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Speaker 1: a successful entrepreneur in the investing and financial education world.

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Speaker 1: He is the host of the podcast Trading Secrets, which

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Speaker 1: is all about financial transparency. He's also the author of

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Speaker 1: the new book Talk Money to Me, which is all

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Speaker 1: about having the hard conversations about money in your relationships.

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Speaker 1: That book is out this week, so we're going to

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Speaker 1: dive into all of that. How he ruined his mom's

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Speaker 1: bachelor addiction by going on the show, the pitfalls of

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Speaker 1: being a Buffalo Bill's fan, and stars who call the

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Speaker 1: paparazzi on themselves. I promise that is not me, but

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Speaker 1: it does happen. This is a fun one. He's handsome,

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Speaker 1: he's successful. Here he is the extremely eligible Jason Tardick,

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Speaker 1: Burble and Squeak. I love it Burble and Squeak. No

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Speaker 1: Burble and Squeaker cook at every month lift over from

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Speaker 1: the nine before. What's up, Jason, Ryan, How you doing

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Speaker 1: by man? I mean, you know, I could I could

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Speaker 1: tell you exactly, but it doesn't matter, like nobody truly nobody.

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Speaker 2: Well, i'll tell you what you know you. I don't

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Speaker 2: know if you remember this, Brian, but you and I

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Speaker 2: were playing at the celebrity Sweat Flag Football together game

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Speaker 2: in the Super Bowl and you were you were killing

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Speaker 2: it then, so I'm sure you're killing it now.

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Speaker 1: Well, listen, I do remember that. That was all I

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Speaker 1: know about that game is everyone got hurt. And here's

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Speaker 1: the thing about me. I got hurt in warm ups

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Speaker 1: and you know who didn't say anything me. I didn't

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Speaker 1: say a damn thing. I just took it. I just

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Speaker 1: took See. Here's the thing, RGI three in warm ups.

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Speaker 1: I don't even know what he's like. You know, he's

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Speaker 1: like saying, hey, take do this out come in do

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Speaker 1: that he throws at seventy five miles an hour. Okay, fine,

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Speaker 1: I catch it. Let's be clear. Totally jam my thumb,

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Speaker 1: I mean like jammed it, like it was inside out

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Speaker 1: on my hand, pulsing. And you know what, I didn't

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Speaker 1: say anything. Everybody else says, I mean he he falls

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Speaker 1: on his mic pack and breaks his ribs and punctures

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Speaker 1: is lung. He complains, I don't complain.

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Speaker 2: You know, you're just a warrior. And I will tell

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Speaker 2: you this, that's the biggest misconception behind NFL quarterbacks. It

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Speaker 2: is the freaking speed at which they throw that ball.

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Speaker 2: It's like catching the baseball. It's nuts. But you know what,

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Speaker 2: did you play a snap that day or did you

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Speaker 2: just act like like, nah, you know, I'll sit one

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Speaker 2: out for the team.

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Speaker 1: No. I played. I played a few snaps, uh, and

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Speaker 1: then I ended up. UH. They were like, hey, can

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Speaker 1: you go up and talk to uh? You know our

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Speaker 1: men and women in military, they're listening on radio. They're like, hey,

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Speaker 1: can you go say hi in the booth? I was

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Speaker 1: like absolutely, are you kidding? Absolutely, I'll be better served

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Speaker 1: up there. I don't know. It was like forty five

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Speaker 1: minutes later. Am I this entire game? Like I thought

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Speaker 1: I was saying hi in the booth? I go through

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Speaker 1: seven or eight commercial breaks and I'm still I'm like, guys,

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Speaker 1: I think my team needs me down there. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: but anyway, it was, it was. It was a really

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Speaker 1: good time. I know you're a Big Bills guy. Talk

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Speaker 1: about somebody who fires the ball.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Huge Bills guy Josh Allen fires that ball.

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Speaker 2: He was flowing around the Super Bowl a little bit.

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Speaker 2: It was, you know, good to see him out having

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Speaker 2: a good time. But yeah, I've been a born and

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Speaker 2: raised Buffalo Bill's fan, fortunately and unfortunately for thirty five years.

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Speaker 1: Now. Have you have you have you gotten to note

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Speaker 1: Josh a little bit?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? You know, the first time I actually ever came

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Speaker 2: across Josh was in two thousand. Shoot, I think it

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Speaker 2: was twenty twenty one is Super Bowl and he's like, yo,

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Speaker 2: come over here, and he was waving at me, Brian,

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Speaker 2: and I looked behind me. I'm like, he can't be

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Speaker 2: waving at me, and he was waving at me, and

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh god. So I went over hung

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Speaker 2: out with him, and he said that he had watched

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Speaker 2: a little bit of The Bachelor, so he knew of

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Speaker 2: my past. And I'm like, this is unbelievable. I was

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Speaker 2: drinking beers with Josh Allen at the Barstool party and

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Speaker 2: that was like, that was like my pinnacle in life

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Speaker 2: right there.

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Speaker 1: Well, I was going to say, if you were hanging

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Speaker 1: out with him at a super Bowl, it wasn't because

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Speaker 1: he was playing.

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Speaker 2: Oh Brian's drop of bombs on me.

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Speaker 1: No, I'm just saying, I mean, we have, many of

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Speaker 1: us have expected it. Now for a while I did,

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Speaker 1: uh well, I thought this last year was going to

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Speaker 1: be their year. But he is just a super nice guy,

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Speaker 1: obviously incredibly talented and always very very kind when when

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Speaker 1: we run into each other, normally on a golf course.

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Speaker 1: I'll be honest. But yeah, so you grew up in Buffalo.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, So I was born and raised in Buffalo,

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Speaker 2: played hockey, soccer, lacrosse there, and then I ended up

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Speaker 2: going into I went to D three school outside Buffalo,

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Speaker 2: New York, and I kind of was like the corporate

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Speaker 2: bank or soldier, like tell me where to go and

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Speaker 2: how to go. And I moved from New York to

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Speaker 2: Seattle and it was then at twenty nine, I got

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Speaker 2: this random call to go on the Bachelorette of all things,

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Speaker 2: and that was kind of my step into this whole

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Speaker 2: crazy world of entertainment and media about six years ago.

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Speaker 1: Okay, now hold on a second. You just went through

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Speaker 1: so much so fast. Here, let's break this down for

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Speaker 1: a second. Okay, So, first off, I was just in

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Speaker 1: Buffalo for the first time. Uh Is that right? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I think that's right. First time I was in Rochester

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Speaker 1: in Buffalo this last year, fantastic place.

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Speaker 2: Well watch you there.

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Speaker 1: Well I did something in Rochester and then I had

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Speaker 1: something in Toronto, and I was told, uh yeah, that

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Speaker 1: it was close. So I decided to drive. Although I

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Speaker 1: will say when the people said, oh you just drive,

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Speaker 1: that seemed very easy. No one would give me a

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Speaker 1: car like no one would. No one would allow me

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Speaker 1: to rent a car and drive it into Canada and

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Speaker 1: then leave it in Canada. So I ended up this

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Speaker 1: day Made of the Mist. I don't know, holds a

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Speaker 1: special sentimental thing in my past, but I had never

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Speaker 1: been on it myself. Uh, so I went on the

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Speaker 1: Maid of the Mist. So I drove all the way

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Speaker 1: to Canada, did the Maid of the Mist, and then

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Speaker 1: drove back to Buffalo to get a car to take

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Speaker 1: me literally right over the bridge where I just was

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Speaker 1: to go into Canada. So that have you been on

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Speaker 1: the Maid of the Mist?

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Well I lived in Rochester for a few years,

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Speaker 2: so that drive everybody's talking about. You're talking like four

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Speaker 2: and a half hours, So I don't know who sent

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Speaker 2: you that direction. But then you go to Niagara Falls,

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Speaker 2: and the best part about Niagara Falls there's this old story.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if it's even true that the mafia

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Speaker 2: owns the American side and so they have held out,

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Speaker 2: apparently on doing anything. I don't know if it's true,

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Speaker 2: but if you look at the Canadian side, it's like

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Speaker 2: a mini little Disneyland over there. They got Ferris Wheels

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Speaker 2: and casuos and restaurants, and there's nothing on the on

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Speaker 2: the American side. But I did the Maid and the

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Speaker 2: miss with with like my thing is my high school

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Speaker 2: sweetheart or one of my exes, so it too has

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Speaker 2: a sentimental place in my heart.

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Speaker 1: Run there you go, and now you went. You went

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Speaker 1: to college, and you went to and you got a

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Speaker 1: master's in business right at University of Rochester. You were

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Speaker 1: just now, why did you want to get into business?

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Speaker 1: Early on?

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Speaker 2: I mean I started off as a as a history major,

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Speaker 2: So if that tells you anything, I was just a

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Speaker 2: lost kid in freshman year.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: The one thing, the one thing that always intrigued me

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Speaker 2: was my my grandfather was a hustler. Like he had

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Speaker 2: he had like poker games underground at his house and

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Speaker 2: he owned a small grocery store. And then my dad

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Speaker 2: was always into businesses. And I started like lemonade stands

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Speaker 2: when I was like six, trying to sell the most

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Speaker 2: expensive lemonade. So I was always intrigued with with the

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Speaker 2: the idea of business. But the biggest thing to me, Brian,

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Speaker 2: was I feel like in my life I got you know,

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Speaker 2: here and there I was lied to, Like I feel

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Speaker 2: like stories in this world shift and context change. What

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Speaker 2: I loved about numbers is that they don't lie, like

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Speaker 2: they tell the truth. And so I was always attracted

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Speaker 2: to numbers from an early ag job.

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Speaker 1: Interesting and then why why Seattle and you were in

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Speaker 1: You were in full on corporate banking, right, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I was full corporate banking, full steam. And to me, Brian,

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Speaker 2: it was like at this time, I was just like

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Speaker 2: the yes man, like tell me where to go, and

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Speaker 2: I'll go. So I took that whole mentality of like

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Speaker 2: I will be early, I will stay late, I will

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Speaker 2: exceed expectations. And I kind of lived the like entirety

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Speaker 2: of my life through my twenties through my job title.

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Speaker 2: And so when they offered me an opportunity to move

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Speaker 2: to Seattle, I took it. Now I have a podcast

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Speaker 2: called Trading Secrets, and so what we do on Trading

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Speaker 2: Secrets I'd love to have yacht at some point. We

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Speaker 2: have you know, different celebrities and public figures talk about,

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Speaker 2: you know, where they made money, how much they made like,

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Speaker 2: you know, whether it was Gronkowski, a Rod or one

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Speaker 2: of the Real House of New York, Like what do

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Speaker 2: you pay per episode? What'd you get paid on that

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Speaker 2: brand deal? Where'd you lose money? Because I've always been

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Speaker 2: intrigued with that. So I'm very open about money for

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Speaker 2: your listeners when they hear me talk about it. And

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Speaker 2: I liked, I think healthy conversations about money can like

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Speaker 2: really help us as we're all trying to navigate in

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Speaker 2: the world that we weren't taught this shit. So but

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Speaker 2: I was twenty nine years old. I got offered this job.

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Speaker 2: It was twenty seventeen, and it was one hundred and

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Speaker 2: sixty five base, one hundred and ten signing bonus, and

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Speaker 2: I could make up to like three times my base

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Speaker 2: based on performance. So I didn't know one person Seattle,

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Speaker 2: but I was like, I'll take in that deal. Let's

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Speaker 2: go pack my bags and moved across the country.

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Speaker 1: So I don't know. I mean, you brought up the mafia,

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Speaker 1: and you brought up being like very transparent about money.

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Speaker 1: I think maybe what you're going to learn about me

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Speaker 1: today is I'm I might be connected. Oh I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't ever. I don't ever talk about my money.

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Speaker 2: Oh you're one of those guys. So like if you

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Speaker 2: if you were asked, if you were asked just that curious.

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Speaker 2: You don't have to answer. It's your podcast, not mine.

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Speaker 2: Would you be comfortable talking about like what you made

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Speaker 2: on your episodic basis and how you negotiate and when

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Speaker 2: you made like the big payday or does that make

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Speaker 2: you like super uncomfortable?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? No, no, Yeah, I don't know. I don't I mean,

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Speaker 1: I don't you know. I had two hobbies that took

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Speaker 1: a long long time, golf and and and poker, so

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Speaker 1: I had I felt like I had to give up

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Speaker 1: one for for life choices and and fail family sanity.

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Speaker 1: So I gave up poker. But yeah, no, that used

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Speaker 1: to be. At the like local game that we had

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Speaker 1: in La was people would start talking about how much

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Speaker 1: money I had on the table, and I would say that,

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Speaker 1: don't talk about my money, talk about my money. Just

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Speaker 1: concern yourself with yours and me taking it. I don't

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Speaker 1: worry about my money.

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Speaker 2: I love that. Now we had our podcast, we had

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Speaker 2: Daniel ran on and hed a little bit about some

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Speaker 2: of those underground games. We also had Molly Bluemon who

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Speaker 2: right is from Molly's Game? Yes, I mean there's some

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Speaker 2: crazy shit that happens in those underground games.

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Speaker 1: Brian, Yeah, yeah, well those are not that's that's what

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Speaker 1: that was above. That's that's that's above, my pig rade.

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Speaker 1: I will I will fully admit I have not been

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Speaker 1: in Molly's Game.

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Speaker 2: I would would you ever admit the most amount of

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Speaker 2: money at a poker table that's been in your stack?

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Speaker 1: No? No, I wouldn't. No, I wouldn't. I mean maybe

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Speaker 1: if we were having a beer and we weren't. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but no, I do not, probably not. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: That's fascinating to me. Well, here's people just want to

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Speaker 1: talk to you about this on. I mean, this is

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Speaker 1: a self, this is a cell right now about your

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Speaker 1: Trading Secrets podcast. I mean, I'm definitely gonna listen to

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Speaker 1: that now. I mean I was ready to plug it

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Speaker 1: and check it out, but now kidding me, Well, here.

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Speaker 2: Let me ask you this though, because I love these conversations.

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Speaker 2: You don't have to answer any of them. But like,

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Speaker 2: when you think about why you don't like talking about it,

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Speaker 2: there is something behaviorally, and it could be good, it

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Speaker 2: could be bad. It could be protection, it could be stigma, bragging,

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Speaker 2: weaponizing what people think. Like, what do you think the

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Speaker 2: real reason is when you hear like me asking you

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Speaker 2: about your stack or what you made on an episodic basis, Like,

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Speaker 2: why does that make you uncomfortable? What is it?

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Speaker 1: You know, it's funny. I just made a joke. Who

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Speaker 1: did I just make a joke? Oh yeah, I was

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Speaker 1: hosting this thing with a profeon golfer and I started

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Speaker 1: ribbing him. Uh because you know, of course the purses

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Speaker 1: for professional golf tournaments are public, so I know exactly

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Speaker 1: to the scent how much money he made on a

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Speaker 1: particular weekend. Right, I think it's I don't know, maybe

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Speaker 1: it's maybe it's my southern upbringing or something, and I

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Speaker 1: that sounds like a hedge or something. I think it's

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Speaker 1: uncouth to talk about money. Yeah, yeah, I mean in

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Speaker 1: terms of myself, I'm I'm totally happy and I'm totally

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Speaker 1: happy to discuss discuss things in general. But yeah, I mean, right,

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Speaker 1: doesn't that make it just about you? And what you're

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I think I think it's the exercise of like trying

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Speaker 2: to analyze where is the situation where coming and talking

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Speaker 2: about money is stopped at in your tracks, and then

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Speaker 2: understanding why because I'm guessing, but just stay based on

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Speaker 2: this conversation, I do feel if I asked you certain

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Speaker 2: jobs you had before things went really well, or like

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Speaker 2: maybe your toughest time trying to make it in that

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Speaker 2: space when like you couldn't even maybe afford your next meal,

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Speaker 2: what was that like? Or someone like the tough times.

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Speaker 2: Some people get really comfortable talking about that, but it's

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Speaker 2: like when they talk about the successes, it comes off

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Speaker 2: they feel like braggadocious. But what I think is cool

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Speaker 2: is that through each person's story, especially someone like you

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Speaker 2: who's had such cool successes, through your story, there's a

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Speaker 2: lot of people out there that are really really struggling

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Speaker 2: but have the dreams and aspiration to be you. And

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Speaker 2: it could be hearing your success and what you did

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Speaker 2: in your times of disarray financially that keeps them focused,

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Speaker 2: that keeps them motivated. So I think if we do

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Speaker 2: it in a healthy, like non weaponizing way, we could

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Speaker 2: actually like motivate inspire and learn a lot. That's kind

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Speaker 2: of my thesis. And I think that if we don't

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Speaker 2: talk about it, we're actually just like hurting ourselves as

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Speaker 2: consumers and employees and business owners and just like our

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Speaker 2: over all financial health.

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Speaker 1: That's very interesting, and I think on a I think

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Speaker 1: in a utopian from a in a utopian space, I

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Speaker 1: hear what you're saying, but let's be honest with you.

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Speaker 2: Yeahs it.

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Speaker 1: And I'm speaking of truly, like just in general, if

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Speaker 1: you're a quarterback in the National Football League and all

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Speaker 1: those contracts are public, and you see a contract that

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Speaker 1: you of someone who you believe you are better than,

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Speaker 1: it becomes about getting one more dollar than that person.

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Speaker 1: And what is that like? I will say this, I

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Speaker 1: feel like I feel like for myself, I am at

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Speaker 1: least proud of and at times maybe under sell myself.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like I am able very often to

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Speaker 1: analyze the situation and determine, based on whatever that particular

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Speaker 1: market is, determine what I should be compensated. And I

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Speaker 1: think the thing that's unique about what I know is

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Speaker 1: unique about me and my perspective on that is in

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Speaker 1: this world, it's about the negotiation, and you have lawyers

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Speaker 1: who are UH who depend upon that negotiation UH to

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Speaker 1: for their survival right, which of course ends up eating

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Speaker 1: up a bunch of money. I say an amount of

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Speaker 1: money and that's it, and there's.

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Speaker 2: There's no negotiation that amount of money.

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Speaker 1: Well no, but it's but it's not. It's not in

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Speaker 1: an adversarial way. It's a I've I have preanalyzed your side,

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Speaker 1: and I have determined that this is the right amount

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Speaker 1: of money, and it's and I'm not over selling it,

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Speaker 1: which to me makes things much simpler. And and it

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Speaker 1: doesn't matter to me what anyone else is making or

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Speaker 1: where I'm making in regard to anybody else. I have

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Speaker 1: analyzed the situation. I believe this is the amount, and

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Speaker 1: this is the amount.

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Speaker 2: Interesting, I do think that is unconventional. I think it's

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Speaker 2: a talent and skill set you have that most people don't.

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Speaker 2: But I think if we look at like anything, and

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Speaker 2: I love this conversation, by the way, if we look

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Speaker 2: at like anything in America, everything that is that we

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Speaker 2: do based on our willingness to pay the price of

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Speaker 2: a stock, what we are paid, what we pay for gas.

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Speaker 2: Obviously there's uncontrollables, but a lot of it is all

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Speaker 2: based on your simple theory of economics, like willing to

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Speaker 2: pay based on supply and demand, and then people fluctually. Right,

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Speaker 2: we know restaurant prices are up twenty five percent last

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Speaker 2: four years. We know that child daycare is up forty

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Speaker 2: one percent in the last two years, so we know

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Speaker 2: that prices changed based on economic conditions but also people's

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Speaker 2: willingness to pay. So I think the idea of like

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Speaker 2: the arbitrary of analyzing yourself and naming your numbers very specific,

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Speaker 2: very unique. I feel like I want you to write

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Speaker 2: a book on it because I want to read it.

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Speaker 2: And I'll even go back to your quarterback statement, like

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Speaker 2: I would actually disagree with your quarterback statement. And I

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Speaker 2: think the people that have utilized the fact that they

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Speaker 2: understand that they are underpaid but there's a greater long

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Speaker 2: term play are the ones that are making more money

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Speaker 2: than anyone. Now. Classic example, right, Tom Brady took a

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Speaker 2: paid cut so that his team could be completely stacked.

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Speaker 2: He won the Super Bowls that he did. And I

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Speaker 2: guarantee you Tom Braid is making a minimum I would

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Speaker 2: say a minimum of three x what he's making now

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Speaker 2: than he was playing. And I know some of this

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Speaker 2: is just even the small little bit of it is

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Speaker 2: like even Gronk Brock has come on my show and

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Speaker 2: talked about it. He's making way more money now than

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Speaker 2: he did playing. So I think people that could eat

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Speaker 2: or maybe even yourself, right, maybe if you were paid less,

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Speaker 2: but you knew that your involvement in the show would

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Speaker 2: be more. Your brand, your longevity if your brand is

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Speaker 2: even greater. So I don't know. It's just fun conversation.

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Speaker 2: But the one thing I'll say, and then we could

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Speaker 2: pause this or we could go into a different direction,

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Speaker 2: is with the book, is talk money to me? We

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Speaker 2: know that having conversations with loved ones or our significant

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Speaker 2: other about money statistically prove it puts us in a

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Speaker 2: better position to succeed. And I could bore you with

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Speaker 2: eight thousand stats, but that one we know for sure.

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Speaker 1: I do want to dive into your store. You're in Seattle,

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Speaker 1: you're working as a money manager. Tell me how did

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Speaker 1: you get on the Bachelorette?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so I got well, I did this thing. So

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Speaker 2: Guilda's club. Gilda Radner, famous comedian. She died abruptly of

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Speaker 2: ovarian cancer. So they created this non for profit called

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Speaker 2: Guild this club and they did this Bachelor auction where

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Speaker 2: they recruited thirty guys to come on and raise money

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Speaker 2: for the non for profit. And that night I came

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Speaker 2: out to old time rock and roll. Everyone's wearing like tuxedos,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, I gotta win this thing. So

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Speaker 2: I start stripping, I started taking everything off. I start

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Speaker 2: going nuts, and I raised the most money of the

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Speaker 2: thirty bachelors. So there was a video from that night

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Speaker 2: that was sent to ABC of me, and you know,

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Speaker 2: there's three thousand people in the audience and two people

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Speaker 2: got submitted from that night to The Bachelor, one being

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Speaker 2: my best friend. So you're not gonna believe this. Eight

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Speaker 2: months goes by after that auction. I don't even live

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Speaker 2: in New York. I get a call, Hey, are you single?

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Speaker 2: And do you still live in New York? So no,

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Speaker 2: I'm single. We live in Seattle, and they tell me

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Speaker 2: they're from The Bachelor. That day, my best buddy calls me.

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Speaker 2: He's like, you're not gonna believe what happened. I said,

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Speaker 2: you're not gonna believe what happened. And we went through

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Speaker 2: the casting process from this batchl auction eight nine months before.

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Speaker 1: That's unbelievable. What so, But somebody else sent it and

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Speaker 1: then they contacted you to see if you were interested

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Speaker 1: in doing it correct, Why did you want to do it?

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Speaker 2: That's the golden question. My parents were ready to kill me, but.

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Speaker 1: I would have too, by the way, But anyway, continue.

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Speaker 2: They're like, what the hell you're doing? My mom has

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Speaker 2: watched the show since day one. She's like, literally, she oh,

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Speaker 2: she watched. She knows everything. She knows everything. So Brian,

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Speaker 2: she tells me, my only escape from you, your brother

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Speaker 2: and your father is this damn show. You're not getting involved?

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Speaker 2: And here I am. Years later, so touched it, but

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Speaker 2: I ended up going because I found I kind of

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Speaker 2: told you a little earlier, but I was just chasing

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Speaker 2: so much career, career, career. I kind of lost myself

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Speaker 2: and I just had no I was just like, what

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Speaker 2: am I doing with my life? I'm so focused on

427
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Speaker 2: my job. Even the way I talk and dress, it's

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Speaker 2: literally connected to my title. And so I said in

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Speaker 2: ABC's calling to go on a show, and I'm just

430
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:13,120
Speaker 2: like kid born in this small town. I'm a greasy

431
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,320
Speaker 2: banker and they want me to go, Like, hell, yeah,

432
00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 2: I'm going. Why would I not go, so I.

433
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:23,000
Speaker 1: And the experience positive for you. Did you fall in love?

434
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:25,240
Speaker 2: So?

435
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:29,040
Speaker 1: Did you fall in love? Over the course of nine

436
00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:32,880
Speaker 1: weeks on the Bachelorette? Did you fall in love?

437
00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:36,080
Speaker 2: I feel like Bride's judging me so hard this podcast.

438
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:40,480
Speaker 1: We're getting into it. When the first we talked money,

439
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 1: Now we're going to talk about this, you fall in

440
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:47,959
Speaker 1: love with Becca.

441
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 2: I'm going to answer your question before I do. I

442
00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 2: promise i'll answer it before I do. I want to

443
00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 2: tell you about the because I think it's a poker player.

444
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:04,199
Speaker 2: You'd be impressed with this. To get the bank to

445
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 2: allow me to go on the show, I went back

446
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 2: and watched the previous seasons. I then asked producers information

447
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:14,320
Speaker 2: so I had an idea of numbers. So on average,

448
00:25:14,359 --> 00:25:16,920
Speaker 2: there's thirty people from the cast that go on the show.

449
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:20,200
Speaker 2: After night one, on average, one third of them are

450
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,560
Speaker 2: gone after night two filming. They say it's two weeks,

451
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:26,800
Speaker 2: but it's really only three days. After week two, roughly

452
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:30,359
Speaker 2: like forty percent are gone, and after a month only

453
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:33,440
Speaker 2: four people are left. So I use this like mathematical

454
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:36,200
Speaker 2: breakdown of my likelihood of when I would return back

455
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:37,840
Speaker 2: to work in the percentage, and it was like an

456
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,600
Speaker 2: eighty seven point nine percent chance I'd be back and

457
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,520
Speaker 2: work in four weeks. And that's how the company actually

458
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:45,880
Speaker 2: let me use vacation time and go on a reality show.

459
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,679
Speaker 2: So I thought, as a poker guy, you would like that.

460
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,360
Speaker 1: Well, so okay, so you have.

461
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,000
Speaker 2: What my boss thought, and he's like, you gotta be

462
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 2: shitting me. And then it went to the VP, and

463
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 2: then it went all the way to the president of

464
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,119
Speaker 2: the entire bank, who's looking at this breakdown of how

465
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:05,479
Speaker 2: many people from the Bachelor get certain roses and how

466
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,040
Speaker 2: many weeks and give the kid us his vacation.

467
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,879
Speaker 1: There you know what I thought you were going to say,

468
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,480
Speaker 1: which this would have been perfect, This would have been smarter,

469
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:15,720
Speaker 1: but this would have gotten you on quicker. You tell

470
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 1: them go through and analyze how much money those people

471
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 1: have or how much they will have after the show,

472
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:27,040
Speaker 1: and say, look, I'm not going on to find love.

473
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 1: I'm going on because I'm going to manage all of

474
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 1: their money when they're done. I'm going to make them

475
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:37,800
Speaker 1: like me and then then then I can manage their money.

476
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:38,880
Speaker 1: You didn't think about that one.

477
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 2: Do you own a consulting business, Brian, Because I'm ready

478
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:45,040
Speaker 2: to hire you today. That's good, all right, I'll get

479
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:46,200
Speaker 2: back to your question. I won't.

480
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:48,440
Speaker 1: So they Yeah, did you fall in love?

481
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:49,359
Speaker 2: How many?

482
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,399
Speaker 1: How many? So nine weeks was not nine weeks or

483
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:53,240
Speaker 1: nine episodes.

484
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:57,399
Speaker 2: No, so so in the early section they have to

485
00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,639
Speaker 2: do it fast because when they do like hometowns and

486
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 2: actually fly to your home or you fly international, it

487
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:05,680
Speaker 2: takes longer. So the whole filming process was about actually

488
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 2: three months, but most of the cast is eliminated in

489
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:11,160
Speaker 2: the first four or five weeks, if that makes sense.

490
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 1: So you were there three months?

491
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, we got we got to go to Buffalo from

492
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 2: my hometowns. I didn't do the Maid of the Myss,

493
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:17,239
Speaker 2: but we got to go.

494
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:21,040
Speaker 1: I should have done the Miss Ship. Did you fall

495
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:22,880
Speaker 1: in love with Becca Koufrian?

496
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 2: Yeah? And TV Land I was falling in love with Becca.

497
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:29,159
Speaker 2: But then you because when you're doing it, Brent, you

498
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:32,480
Speaker 2: don't get your phone, no TV, no Internet, you can't

499
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 2: talk to your family, you can't talk to friends, you

500
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:38,080
Speaker 2: don't hear music, and you're sequestered. Oh, you're sequestered. So

501
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 2: like the only woman that I saw in like three

502
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:43,960
Speaker 2: months other than a producer or two, was her. So

503
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 2: like you're and she's great, she's amazing. But I think

504
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:47,320
Speaker 2: in like.

505
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:50,639
Speaker 1: All the producers are married, all the producer women. It's

506
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:53,200
Speaker 1: the requirement. You have to be married, so you can

507
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:58,600
Speaker 1: only see one single woman over the course of three months. Well,

508
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:00,640
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, you have your home town thing.

509
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,200
Speaker 1: You see some other Yeah, but it's some old gal

510
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:05,040
Speaker 1: friends there.

511
00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:07,639
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, no, you're in. You're in. Like

512
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 2: when you go to hometowns, you're in your hotel. You

513
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:11,399
Speaker 2: can go to dinner with the producer. You go back

514
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 2: to your hotel, and you're only coming out for filming,

515
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,680
Speaker 2: so you're not like going to meet up with buddies

516
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:19,720
Speaker 2: and stuff. You're you're in their world. So in TV land,

517
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,240
Speaker 2: actually you fell in love in TV land?

518
00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:25,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, what is that? Okay? I understand what you mean

519
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:29,159
Speaker 1: in TV land, but like, but you your heart, you

520
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:30,200
Speaker 1: fell in love.

521
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:34,880
Speaker 2: At the time during that moment when I said it,

522
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:36,840
Speaker 2: I felt it to the core.

523
00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 1: Okay, you felt it to the core.

524
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:42,520
Speaker 2: Two weeks after I like got like, whoa, You're out

525
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 2: of this like hypnosis state of TV Land. I was like,

526
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:47,800
Speaker 2: what the hell did I just do? Like what was that?

527
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 2: How did that happen?

528
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:53,680
Speaker 1: Right? So yeah, right, like you, you're like I. And

529
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 1: then because here's the thing. If you if like if

530
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:01,040
Speaker 1: you say to someone that you love them and you

531
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:05,080
Speaker 1: want to marry them in real life and it and

532
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:08,840
Speaker 1: something goes awry, like they choose your best friend, Like

533
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:11,640
Speaker 1: they choose your best friend instead of you, This could

534
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:14,400
Speaker 1: be a This could be debilitating for years, right am

535
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:18,520
Speaker 1: I not crazy about that? Like if you're like essentially

536
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:22,200
Speaker 1: left at the altar, I want to propose to you

537
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:25,440
Speaker 1: and you're like, no, I like your best friend more,

538
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 1: this would be debilitating, right, like in real in real

539
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 1: non TV life.

540
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:33,040
Speaker 2: I mean, don't you tell me what's worse? Brian, So

541
00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:35,760
Speaker 2: I came in third, right right, and but one of

542
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 2: my very very good friends that season still to this day,

543
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 2: he came in second. So he proposed and she said

544
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:45,720
Speaker 2: no and went to the other guy. I actually I

545
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:47,600
Speaker 2: have been you know, I've been on this journey for

546
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 2: three months. I'm going through it. I'm through the ringer

547
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:53,160
Speaker 2: and then I get to the fantasy suitet dates. So

548
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:57,120
Speaker 2: it's like, okay, here we go. You know, that's it's

549
00:29:57,160 --> 00:30:00,800
Speaker 2: fantasy sueet dates and at dinner right for a fantasy

550
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 2: sweet night. I got dumped that fantasy sweet night. So

551
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:05,080
Speaker 2: you tell me what's worked. I don't know.

552
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean, but that would be demilitating. But

553
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:11,600
Speaker 1: what you're saying is is that a couple of weeks later,

554
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:15,760
Speaker 1: you you know you're good. I mean, you're okay.

555
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think.

556
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:17,200
Speaker 1: I think.

557
00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:20,600
Speaker 2: The reality is what's crazy about this show is you

558
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:23,320
Speaker 2: actually you watch it all back. So you film for

559
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:25,240
Speaker 2: a few months and then you watch it all back.

560
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 2: So then you're seeing this girl that you fell in

561
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:29,400
Speaker 2: love with with all these other guys. You're like, oh wow,

562
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:34,200
Speaker 2: her connection is way better with them, and the now

563
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:37,280
Speaker 2: here's the curveball of all curve balls, because you know,

564
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:42,840
Speaker 2: my story gets even a little more interesting where yeah ahead,

565
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:46,840
Speaker 2: if you're into that one. Well, the thing is is

566
00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 2: you think about the person. And this is when I

567
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 2: have so much sympathy for the people that actually end

568
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:55,280
Speaker 2: up together. These two are engaged, they're in this like hiatus,

569
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:57,640
Speaker 2: they're living their best life, and then they have to

570
00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:01,600
Speaker 2: go watch back every episode and this person that they're

571
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 2: engaged with and now planning their whole life with them

572
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 2: moving in is like literally like hooking up and falling

573
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:08,160
Speaker 2: in love with all these people, and you have to

574
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:11,840
Speaker 2: see it on TV Wow America like picks them as

575
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:14,360
Speaker 2: a fan favorite. How hard is that got to be?

576
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:18,960
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, that's tough. That's oh I didn't think about that.

577
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:24,000
Speaker 1: That in a way is worse than like any And

578
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:26,640
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about hook I'm not talking about anything

579
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:32,239
Speaker 1: totally untoward. But that's worse than like bad behavior at

580
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:34,600
Speaker 1: a bachelor party, right, I mean, this is like you're

581
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:41,520
Speaker 1: actually watching real feelings play out between two people right

582
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 1: on the doorstep of your engagement. Yeah.

583
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 2: I mean I haven't been there. When I've talked to

584
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 2: those people that have been through it, and they're like,

585
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:52,000
Speaker 2: it's brutal because you're also you're watching everything. You're watching

586
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 2: them fall in love, You're watching them interact with the

587
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,080
Speaker 2: other family, You're watching them interact with your family. You're

588
00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 2: watching that person pick out a potential ring. So it's

589
00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:03,320
Speaker 2: like all these things and people say, you know, the

590
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:07,320
Speaker 2: Bachelor franchise has struggled with having successful relationships, which it has,

591
00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 2: but they attribute it to all different things. I think

592
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:13,680
Speaker 2: the number one reason is because you have to watch

593
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:17,280
Speaker 2: all this back and so much resentment is built, and

594
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:20,040
Speaker 2: then you're you're thrown into this world of like media,

595
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 2: which you've never seen, and it's just like the spin

596
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 2: of it all creates mayhem.

597
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:29,840
Speaker 1: Well, okay, maybe, but isn't it also.

598
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,480
Speaker 2: Like what do you mean? Maybe? What do you well?

599
00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:36,680
Speaker 1: Isn't it also like, I mean, there's a there's a

600
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 1: fantastic movie called The Truman Show, which is I mean,

601
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:46,760
Speaker 1: it's not exactly the same, but you are essentially choosing

602
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 1: a pool of people that producers have chosen who they

603
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:55,080
Speaker 1: believe will make good television for people to watch. For

604
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:58,680
Speaker 1: this person to you know, potentially be with. Right, I mean,

605
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,480
Speaker 1: you're not going You're not going into a bar, yeah,

606
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:05,880
Speaker 1: or a or a you know, restaurant or whatever with

607
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:08,440
Speaker 1: three hundred people and going all right, I'm gonna choose

608
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:09,640
Speaker 1: those twelve.

609
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 2: Right, No, Yeah, you're right, You're right.

610
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:17,880
Speaker 1: Fair So fascinating. Have you been approached to go back again?

611
00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:21,280
Speaker 2: I have. The last time I was ever approached was

612
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:24,040
Speaker 2: to go on Paradise like twenty eighteen, and then I

613
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:26,320
Speaker 2: signed a contract to be the bacher, but they went

614
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:28,800
Speaker 2: with a different guy. So I have not that approach

615
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:32,560
Speaker 2: to do anything from a cast perspective since twenty eighteen.

616
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:38,120
Speaker 1: So so you signed? So is this is this like

617
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:41,200
Speaker 1: my line of work? You sign a contract and then

618
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:44,320
Speaker 1: they choose from a couple of people. Is that what happens.

619
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:47,520
Speaker 2: Yep, that's what happens. Yeah, my god, what they do

620
00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 2: in your world too?

621
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 1: Yes? Are you serious? Yeah, well you know that's big.

622
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:58,480
Speaker 1: You know about money, that's why that is yeah, they yes,

623
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,680
Speaker 1: but you are negotiating with three people, three people, right,

624
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:04,680
Speaker 1: three people at the same time. That's usually what it

625
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 1: is in my world. Three people. So that you signed

626
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:10,360
Speaker 1: three contracts to be on a show, and then they

627
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 1: have the they can execute it exactly.

628
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 2: The difference is, you guys are getting paid a whole

629
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:18,640
Speaker 2: lot of money. We're all getting paid the exact same

630
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:20,000
Speaker 2: and it's not that much money.

631
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:24,120
Speaker 1: And so I actually, well, the leverage point you're all

632
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:26,600
Speaker 1: all of yours is the same contract.

633
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:30,239
Speaker 2: The leverage point is like they might know exactly who

634
00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:32,839
Speaker 2: they're gonna have no matter what, and then they bring

635
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,440
Speaker 2: in three people, and the leverage point is the person

636
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:39,520
Speaker 2: that is their number one will not negotiate anything, not

637
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:42,360
Speaker 2: even just thought about anything, because they know if they do,

638
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 2: the number two, three person will be slotted. So it

639
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:46,799
Speaker 2: puts you in a position where you really can't negotiate

640
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:49,160
Speaker 2: at all. But what I almost did, which connects to

641
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:53,120
Speaker 2: the example earlier. I almost revert. I wish they wouldn't

642
00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:55,839
Speaker 2: have picked me anyway, but I almost reverse negotiated where

643
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:57,880
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, pay me nothing to do it,

644
00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:01,000
Speaker 2: I'll actually do it for free because the the actual

645
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:06,200
Speaker 2: present value of that role is so much, so much

646
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:09,560
Speaker 2: greater than the actual dollar amount you're provided to do it.

647
00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:20,000
Speaker 1: Oh yes, love, sweep love. Oh but oh maybe I

648
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:23,359
Speaker 1: can't who That's the promo right there.

649
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:27,840
Speaker 2: No one in twenty twenty four, and I mean, nobody

650
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:30,760
Speaker 2: in twenty twenty four goes on reality TV without an angle.

651
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:32,959
Speaker 1: Nobody, nobody goes on without an angle.

652
00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:36,040
Speaker 2: No in twenty twenty four, not one, not one.

653
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:40,800
Speaker 1: Okay, you ended up having a relationship, and see, look

654
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:44,480
Speaker 1: I don't talk about relationships with very many of my guests,

655
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:48,600
Speaker 1: but it seems really important. You got together with another

656
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,759
Speaker 1: former bachelorette, Caitlin Bristow for a long period of time.

657
00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:55,879
Speaker 1: Now was this something that this happened naturally? Yeah?

658
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:59,480
Speaker 2: So this was very organic. This was not like this

659
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:01,560
Speaker 2: was not filmed. No, we were out. It's just like

660
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 2: Truman show broke through the walls and then he met someone.

661
00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 2: So we weren't in the Truman Show.

662
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:10,279
Speaker 1: Thank you for going to thank you for going with

663
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:14,800
Speaker 1: my analogy there so okay, and then and then that

664
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:17,440
Speaker 1: that also did not work out for other other reasons.

665
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:20,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, So we were together for you know, we met

666
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:22,799
Speaker 2: after so they decided to go with the other bats Or.

667
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:25,480
Speaker 2: She has a podcast which does very well. I went

668
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 2: out our podcast. She asked me, like, what's what now?

669
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:32,400
Speaker 2: You know what happens now, what's your life gonna look like?

670
00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:36,640
Speaker 2: We actually met that day, started dating thereafter, and we

671
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 2: were together for about four and a half years. In

672
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:43,080
Speaker 2: the last summer that that didn't work out, So here

673
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:43,399
Speaker 2: we are.

674
00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:05,279
Speaker 1: My question really is about having so much of your

675
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 1: personal life play out and you know, I mean we

676
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:11,759
Speaker 1: have fun. I have fun, hopefully you have fun. It

677
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 1: is a part of it, right, It's what you just

678
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:17,320
Speaker 1: talked about going on reality TV. There there's an angle,

679
00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:20,719
Speaker 1: and so part of that is it feels like you

680
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:25,720
Speaker 1: have to let your personal life play out in public.

681
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:28,640
Speaker 1: Right Is that is that? Is that? Is that? Right? Yeah?

682
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:31,000
Speaker 1: For better or worse, Not that you love it all

683
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:33,280
Speaker 1: the time, but that's a part of it, right.

684
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:35,399
Speaker 2: It's it's for I would say, the way it is

685
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:38,040
Speaker 2: is it's for better at very high level and like

686
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:41,359
Speaker 2: very highs and for better and very worse at very

687
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:45,680
Speaker 2: deep worse like it's it's very extremes of showcasing your

688
00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:49,200
Speaker 2: personal life, uh to everyone. But I remember the first

689
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:51,839
Speaker 2: couple of weeks, I was just trying to understand it all,

690
00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:54,080
Speaker 2: and I was so worried about like an edit and

691
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:56,400
Speaker 2: things like this, and a producer said it best to me.

692
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:59,319
Speaker 2: They said, listen, when you sign up for this, what

693
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,360
Speaker 2: you're doing is you're getting out a roller coaster. And

694
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 2: when you get on a roller coaster, you have one option.

695
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:07,160
Speaker 2: You strap in and you enjoy it, or you shrap

696
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 2: in and you're miserable. But no matter what you do

697
00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:11,960
Speaker 2: in that roller coaster, there's gonna be that turn, there's

698
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:13,680
Speaker 2: gonna be the scare of going up, there's gonna be

699
00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:16,279
Speaker 2: the crazy fall. It's gonna happen. So while you're on

700
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 2: this show, you're on a roller coaster. And what I

701
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:21,920
Speaker 2: recognize is even after the show now with social media,

702
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:25,080
Speaker 2: it's the same roller coaster. But you don't think about it. Brian,

703
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 2: You you have a skill. You are a very skilled human.

704
00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:31,880
Speaker 2: You are funny, You are an actor. You've worked on

705
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:35,840
Speaker 2: your trait. You've built this community reality TV stars. For

706
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:40,040
Speaker 2: the most part, our only superpower is opening up our

707
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 2: personal life. So those who try to fight it are

708
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:45,399
Speaker 2: those who try to over edit themselves or those who

709
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:48,560
Speaker 2: try to put on something else. The truth all we

710
00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:52,239
Speaker 2: surfaces and it won't work, it won't last. There's zero

711
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:54,960
Speaker 2: longevity for doing so. So it's almost like you have

712
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:57,440
Speaker 2: no other choice should you step into this world.

713
00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,759
Speaker 1: So, in other words, if you step into this role,

714
00:38:59,880 --> 00:39:04,239
Speaker 1: you say no, then you're then then you shouldn't have

715
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:07,520
Speaker 1: even stepped in to begin with, because you're you're done. Yeah,

716
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:09,319
Speaker 1: is that what you're saying? I mean yeah.

717
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:11,919
Speaker 2: People that say no, two things happen. Either they get

718
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:13,719
Speaker 2: cut out from the show because they make terrible TV

719
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:16,080
Speaker 2: because they won't open up and there's no purpose for them.

720
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:18,960
Speaker 2: Or they say no with the idea of I am

721
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:21,799
Speaker 2: going to be something I'm not. And the problem is

722
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:24,759
Speaker 2: this world is too transparent and the truth always right,

723
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:27,440
Speaker 2: bodies always float to the surface, like truth always surfaces,

724
00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:30,719
Speaker 2: Like eventually they end up getting their stuff, like it

725
00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 2: will like blow up on them, you know, Like someone

726
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:35,239
Speaker 2: will have a girlfriend then go on the show and

727
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:37,440
Speaker 2: act like they're single. And falling in love and then

728
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:39,440
Speaker 2: what do you know, like that gets exposed and all

729
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:41,520
Speaker 2: of a sudden everything blows up. So it's either know

730
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:43,359
Speaker 2: wing they go away or knowing it blows up.

731
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:48,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's interesting to me. I mean, you know, I

732
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:52,600
Speaker 1: got married and I found out at the reception that

733
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:55,560
Speaker 1: I needed to comment to a magazine that will not

734
00:39:55,640 --> 00:40:00,680
Speaker 1: be named about my wedding that's just happened. And I said, well,

735
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:04,160
Speaker 1: that's none o their business. Of course, no comment, And

736
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:07,879
Speaker 1: my publicist was kneeling next to me and said, well,

737
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:11,440
Speaker 1: if you don't comment, it's coming out anyway, because they

738
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:14,280
Speaker 1: were there and we had people hanging from the trees

739
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:18,680
Speaker 1: outside of my house taking pictures of various guests that

740
00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:21,960
Speaker 1: were in my own home that came there, and then

741
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:26,600
Speaker 1: forced me on that day to answer to their whim.

742
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:30,360
Speaker 1: I'm not getting I'm not selling pictures, I'm not getting paid.

743
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:33,440
Speaker 1: But now I've subjected my guests, many of which who

744
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 1: are famous, to that I won't ever speak to that

745
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:41,120
Speaker 1: publication anymore. Same publication came to me after the birth

746
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:43,799
Speaker 1: of my first daughter, and I said, no comment, and

747
00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:48,440
Speaker 1: they said, well, we know the story, like we know already,

748
00:40:48,719 --> 00:40:52,279
Speaker 1: And I said you know, not to them specifically, but

749
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:55,640
Speaker 1: I said fuck you, and I on my Instagram you

750
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:58,080
Speaker 1: can see to this day that announcement by me with

751
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:00,560
Speaker 1: all the details that I could think that they could

752
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:03,240
Speaker 1: possibly know about the birth of my first daughter, because

753
00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:05,520
Speaker 1: I wasn't going to give that to them. So what

754
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:08,839
Speaker 1: I'm saying is is that I work in such a

755
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 1: different way that for me, like the idea of that

756
00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:18,280
Speaker 1: and you having that all of the time just must

757
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 1: be incredibly difficult. And as you say, there are highs,

758
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:25,400
Speaker 1: there are highs that I'm sure are are fantastic, but

759
00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:30,160
Speaker 1: I just, yeah, it's it's really it's a it's a

760
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:34,200
Speaker 1: it's a difficulty that I struggle with all of the

761
00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:38,400
Speaker 1: time because I chose to be an actor and I chose,

762
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:41,120
Speaker 1: I guess to be in film and television and understand

763
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:44,719
Speaker 1: what comes along with that. But I think there's a

764
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:49,239
Speaker 1: line for me, There's there's a line. And you know,

765
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:52,960
Speaker 1: I don't know if I say that, I feel badly

766
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:57,480
Speaker 1: for you. I feel bad that those things have to

767
00:41:58,000 --> 00:41:59,480
Speaker 1: play out in the press.

768
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I mean, you know you were you were

769
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 2: extremely light with it, right, Like there are some discussions

770
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:09,120
Speaker 2: you have when you're doing a new project or something

771
00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:12,080
Speaker 2: like Brett, you know that my book, that's the world I'm promoting.

772
00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:14,200
Speaker 2: But like, there are some places you go to promote

773
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:16,719
Speaker 2: your book and it's it's not like how is your

774
00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:21,279
Speaker 2: relationship you break up? It's everything you can possibly think

775
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:24,400
Speaker 2: of in the darkest way, people asking, And so I

776
00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:27,760
Speaker 2: think the way I've I've approached it is listen, especially

777
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:31,240
Speaker 2: people from the Bachelor franchise, you can do really really

778
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 2: cool things with the platform that we're given because of

779
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:36,319
Speaker 2: the show. And there's a handful of people that have

780
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:42,920
Speaker 2: done unbelievably exceptional things. But it's almost impossible. It's almost

781
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:50,200
Speaker 2: impossible to remove and or completely eliminate Bachelor being from

782
00:42:50,239 --> 00:42:53,960
Speaker 2: your resume or spoken about when you're doing things. And

783
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,040
Speaker 2: it's a challenge. But do you wish that it was

784
00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:00,399
Speaker 2: in a perfect world? Yeah, in a perfect world, yes,

785
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:01,759
Speaker 2: And I think that's what people try to do. They

786
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:04,040
Speaker 2: try to build their brands, but the reality is is

787
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:06,279
Speaker 2: that it never will and actually being attached to it

788
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:08,880
Speaker 2: helps a lot too. So it's one of these things.

789
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:11,440
Speaker 2: It's like it's a give and take, it's a love hate.

790
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:14,799
Speaker 2: It just is what it is, and it's something you

791
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:18,000
Speaker 2: just can't escape and reality TV is just so. And

792
00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:20,719
Speaker 2: the things that come from reality TV, the monetization of

793
00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 2: brands after reality TV, the business side of reality TV,

794
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:28,239
Speaker 2: it is so much different, right of course, as you

795
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 2: know then, like the business of a famous actor comedian

796
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:35,640
Speaker 2: like yourself. Because what's crazy and I know this because

797
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 2: I own a talent agency now is what a lot

798
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:41,480
Speaker 2: of the time propels people's brand for it in the

799
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:45,680
Speaker 2: reality unscripted space, what's the gasoline to the fire. A

800
00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:49,200
Speaker 2: lot of it is making sure that they're at your wedding,

801
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:52,799
Speaker 2: making sure you're talking about these things, these things you

802
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:56,320
Speaker 2: hide from unfortunately, and unscripted space. I don't want to

803
00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:59,160
Speaker 2: speak for everybody, for a lot it's actually what fuels it.

804
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:02,080
Speaker 2: So it's like pick your poison if you still want

805
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 2: to be in the game. And it's a crazy space,

806
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:05,280
Speaker 2: it's freaking nuts.

807
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:08,520
Speaker 1: But yeah, you know, I'm not I'm not gonna mention

808
00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:11,000
Speaker 1: the name, but I it's so funny. I tell the

809
00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:13,479
Speaker 1: story to friends all the time. This was the first

810
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:16,600
Speaker 1: time I realized to what degree this this was happening.

811
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:18,680
Speaker 1: And this is a number of this is a number

812
00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:21,680
Speaker 1: of years ago. This is when more like you know,

813
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:25,160
Speaker 1: the quote unquote paparazzi was bigger and getting, you know,

814
00:44:25,239 --> 00:44:28,760
Speaker 1: getting photographed here or there out, you know, in supposed

815
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,200
Speaker 1: private moments. And I was in an airport. I was

816
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:34,640
Speaker 1: flying from New York to LA and I had the

817
00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:37,560
Speaker 1: two people on the plane with me. We were walking

818
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:43,440
Speaker 1: through the airport of JFK and they're like stumbling like

819
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:46,840
Speaker 1: with their bags. They're carrying a lot of bags with them,

820
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:49,680
Speaker 1: and this guy kind of comes out of the shadows,

821
00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:52,960
Speaker 1: it seems to me, and like comes out and uh,

822
00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:59,040
Speaker 1: the woman that I'm referring to, like hands him one

823
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:02,000
Speaker 1: of her carry on and like her jacket and her

824
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:06,080
Speaker 1: pillow for the plane and all the stuff. And they

825
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:10,400
Speaker 1: are walking together, and suddenly I realized, oh, this is

826
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:13,359
Speaker 1: a paparazzi. I mean talking about fueling your own and

827
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 1: setting this. I mean this literally, they have told this

828
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:20,360
Speaker 1: person that they know that they're going to be walking

829
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:23,160
Speaker 1: through the New York airport. And then sure enough, because

830
00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:25,960
Speaker 1: I consciously went the next day and looked, there were

831
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:31,960
Speaker 1: the photographs, the supposed like private, secretive paparazzi photographs in

832
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:36,000
Speaker 1: JFK that he was actually carrying their bags. I mean,

833
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:38,919
Speaker 1: it was just that's and this a number of years ago.

834
00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:42,480
Speaker 1: I'm older and jaded now, but like at the time,

835
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:45,640
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, this is how it works, Like

836
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:49,080
Speaker 1: this is all a scam somehow when they catch me,

837
00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:53,040
Speaker 1: it's totally by accident. But these people like have set

838
00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:55,879
Speaker 1: it up, no wonder, they look much better than I do.

839
00:45:56,440 --> 00:45:59,400
Speaker 2: That is so funny you just said that, because especially

840
00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:03,520
Speaker 2: in the reality space, like I would say ninety percent

841
00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:06,040
Speaker 2: of all paparazzi reality TV is set up. The other

842
00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:08,719
Speaker 2: thing that's set up is people will get brands to

843
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:11,919
Speaker 2: take so they'll wear the brand when they're super hot

844
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:15,000
Speaker 2: off the show, and they'll plan when the paparazzi's going

845
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:17,600
Speaker 2: to capture them in the brand so that that brand

846
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 2: ends up in a magazine and therefore they actually get

847
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:22,040
Speaker 2: paid for it. And I know people in the batch

848
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:26,040
Speaker 2: or space that have called like TMZ TMZ on them

849
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:28,920
Speaker 2: and some of them don't even admit it. But I

850
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:32,239
Speaker 2: got so flustered the other day because I went to

851
00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:34,480
Speaker 2: I was doing this deal with Capital One cafe. I

852
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:36,879
Speaker 2: was going to speak at their cafe, and someone from

853
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:39,440
Speaker 2: TMZ came up to me asking about a rumor they

854
00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:43,319
Speaker 2: heard of a relationship. And I was so flustered. I

855
00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:46,360
Speaker 2: was so caught off dark, I was so rattled, and

856
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:49,200
Speaker 2: I was so pissed because now everyone knows. Everyone knows

857
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:51,239
Speaker 2: or at least things into space like you called them,

858
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:52,879
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I didn't.

859
00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:54,120
Speaker 1: Call it some mess.

860
00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:59,160
Speaker 2: I was like sweating, and I know a TMZ guy

861
00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:02,560
Speaker 2: texted and I said, bro, what the hell? Like I thought,

862
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:04,960
Speaker 2: we were like, you couldn't give me a tip? And

863
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 2: he goes, He goes, dude, I would have been there.

864
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:08,960
Speaker 2: I would have tipped you off. I didn't know about it,

865
00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:11,319
Speaker 2: and so it just happened two weeks ago, and I

866
00:47:11,360 --> 00:47:15,480
Speaker 2: had literally no idea. But most people literally call it

867
00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:16,319
Speaker 2: on themselves.

868
00:47:16,520 --> 00:47:20,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've never done it. I've never called them myself.

869
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 1: We talked about Trading Secrets podcast after this conversation here

870
00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:29,360
Speaker 1: is you have a new subscriber for sure for me.

871
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:33,160
Speaker 1: But I really want to talk about your new book.

872
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:37,440
Speaker 1: I love the title talk Money to Me. Did you

873
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:40,719
Speaker 1: ever consider talk money to me baby? Did you ever

874
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:41,400
Speaker 1: think about that?

875
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:45,120
Speaker 2: Well, it's a little play on talk dirty to me

876
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:45,560
Speaker 2: that you know.

877
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:52,040
Speaker 1: The Yeah, I was trying to eight essential financial questions

878
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:57,000
Speaker 1: to discuss with your partner. What's the biggest, most important

879
00:47:57,760 --> 00:48:02,680
Speaker 1: financial question that you should always talk money to your

880
00:48:02,719 --> 00:48:03,480
Speaker 1: partner about.

881
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:07,239
Speaker 2: Well, the thing is this is that we know right

882
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:10,920
Speaker 2: now that money arguments is second leading reason for divorce.

883
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 2: We know that seventy three percent of couples say that

884
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:17,479
Speaker 2: money creates material tension in the relationship, and of those

885
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:20,759
Speaker 2: seventy three percent, over half of them attributed to decreased

886
00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:24,719
Speaker 2: intimacy from money. So the biggest topic here in the

887
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:27,000
Speaker 2: question they ask, like, what's the number one question? The

888
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:30,440
Speaker 2: biggest thing we need to do is stop hiding, stop shaming,

889
00:48:30,520 --> 00:48:33,799
Speaker 2: stop weaponizing. If you're not comfortable, like we talked about

890
00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:36,040
Speaker 2: here today, Brian talking it to the million people that

891
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:38,360
Speaker 2: listen to your podcast, I get it. But to the

892
00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 2: person that you absolutely love, the person that contractually financially

893
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,840
Speaker 2: you're connected to, we know we have to start talking.

894
00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:50,360
Speaker 2: So the step one is like, let's start have the conversations,

895
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:52,919
Speaker 2: and then step two would be, you know these eight

896
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:55,920
Speaker 2: numbers that identify as the most essential to talk about

897
00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:57,000
Speaker 2: with your significant other.

898
00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:01,439
Speaker 1: Is there one one of those questions that you feel

899
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:02,959
Speaker 1: like is the most important.

900
00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:06,360
Speaker 2: If I had to say the number one, I would

901
00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:11,000
Speaker 2: say it's understanding what is your net worth? And how

902
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:15,120
Speaker 2: can we go over our networth on a quarterly or

903
00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:17,560
Speaker 2: bi weekly or annual basis. And the reason I say

904
00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:21,160
Speaker 2: networth is because net worth is everyone thinks, google networth,

905
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:23,480
Speaker 2: how much is it? But no, everyone has a networth.

906
00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:26,120
Speaker 2: Everyone that's listening does. And all it does is it

907
00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:30,200
Speaker 2: gives you a direct snapshot of everything, of your debt,

908
00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:32,920
Speaker 2: of the money that's spent, of the money that comes

909
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:35,959
Speaker 2: in and through your net worth, you can't hide things.

910
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:39,520
Speaker 2: And we know in forty three percent of couples there's

911
00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:42,320
Speaker 2: one person forty three percent of the time that's committing

912
00:49:42,360 --> 00:49:46,920
Speaker 2: financial infidelity, which is like hiding money or hiding purchases

913
00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:50,000
Speaker 2: that are a material amount. So the net worth captures

914
00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:52,279
Speaker 2: everything and it allows you, guys to be on the

915
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:54,879
Speaker 2: same page with how it's moving up, down, left or right.

916
00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:57,880
Speaker 1: Do you think you need to disclose to your partner

917
00:49:57,920 --> 00:49:59,359
Speaker 1: every time you go to Starbucks?

918
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:00,880
Speaker 2: Absolutely?

919
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:03,480
Speaker 1: No, Okay, perfect, that's not a material thing.

920
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:08,279
Speaker 2: What I'm talking about, Brian, is like I but I

921
00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:10,799
Speaker 2: interviewed people that had financial fraud right, and I got

922
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:13,120
Speaker 2: hundreds and I actually got over a thousand emails, And

923
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:15,959
Speaker 2: I ask people, tell me about a financial fraud story

924
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:18,040
Speaker 2: in your life, your loved ones and like one of

925
00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:20,640
Speaker 2: the examples is a woman gets married to this guy.

926
00:50:20,719 --> 00:50:23,080
Speaker 2: She went by Jane Doe. She want to be anonymous.

927
00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:26,440
Speaker 2: They're married for a year after they met. He has

928
00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:29,239
Speaker 2: good income with a bad credit, That's what he tells her.

929
00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:33,760
Speaker 2: She has great credit, Okay income. She takes out the mortgage.

930
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:36,640
Speaker 2: She agrees that he will venmo her half of the

931
00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:39,680
Speaker 2: amount for the house. They agree to it, no contracts.

932
00:50:39,719 --> 00:50:43,000
Speaker 2: They close on the house the day they close. The

933
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:45,720
Speaker 2: irs owns her house because he has hundreds of thousands

934
00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:48,239
Speaker 2: of dollars in back taxes. She never knew about it.

935
00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:51,120
Speaker 2: He never told her. And these things happen all the time.

936
00:50:51,160 --> 00:50:53,920
Speaker 2: So I'm not talking about the Starbucks run. I'm talking about.

937
00:50:53,760 --> 00:50:56,160
Speaker 1: Stuff like that. Oh my god. Yeah.

938
00:50:56,560 --> 00:51:01,200
Speaker 2: Or did you see Tinder Swindler there's Netflix. Yeah, yeah,

939
00:51:01,239 --> 00:51:02,960
Speaker 2: we did a follow up with one of the girls.

940
00:51:03,280 --> 00:51:05,920
Speaker 2: She got swindled. The whole world knows this guy's a

941
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:08,759
Speaker 2: scumbag and took advantage of them. She got swindled in

942
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:11,759
Speaker 2: fifty four days. The systems allowed her to take over

943
00:51:11,800 --> 00:51:13,960
Speaker 2: two hundred thousand dollars in debt and she was making

944
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:16,719
Speaker 2: only only sixty thousand dollars a year. Still to this

945
00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:21,400
Speaker 2: day she is liable zero forgiveness. She's had to claim bankruptcy.

946
00:51:21,560 --> 00:51:23,880
Speaker 2: So even in situations like that where the whole world

947
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:26,080
Speaker 2: knows the truth and that you were taking advantage of,

948
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:28,560
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, you're accountable for your decisions.

949
00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:30,359
Speaker 2: And if you don't talk about it and you don't

950
00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:32,879
Speaker 2: know about it, you could be leaving yourself susceptible.

951
00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:34,600
Speaker 1: How is he out like?

952
00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:38,080
Speaker 2: How well, what he did was like the mechanics.

953
00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:40,520
Speaker 1: It was a gift or something, and so.

954
00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:44,200
Speaker 2: Well he got right. What he did was he convinced

955
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:47,200
Speaker 2: the people. He found certain personality types. So if you're

956
00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:49,040
Speaker 2: listening to this and you have a personality type in

957
00:51:49,080 --> 00:51:50,759
Speaker 2: which you could be taking advantage of, or you're a

958
00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:53,680
Speaker 2: people plaser, you are susceptible to be taking advantage of.

959
00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:56,800
Speaker 2: But he would find those personality types. He would convince

960
00:51:56,840 --> 00:52:00,080
Speaker 2: them through manipulation to open credit cards. He would and

961
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:03,000
Speaker 2: then convince them through manipulation to give him the number.

962
00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:06,240
Speaker 2: He would run everything up and then they were liable

963
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:09,640
Speaker 2: because he never signed for it. He never initiated they did.

964
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:11,400
Speaker 2: He just convinced it to do them. So all the

965
00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:13,960
Speaker 2: debt that he put on their cards they're still liable for.

966
00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:17,200
Speaker 1: Well, it makes a whole lot of sense to me

967
00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:23,759
Speaker 1: that you need to have these open conversations. And I

968
00:52:23,760 --> 00:52:26,960
Speaker 1: think that you know, whether it's monthly or bi annually

969
00:52:27,160 --> 00:52:30,560
Speaker 1: or you know, as you said, every few months, have

970
00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:35,279
Speaker 1: a scheduled conversation where you're talking about And I like

971
00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:37,040
Speaker 1: what you said too, because it's not how much money

972
00:52:37,040 --> 00:52:40,800
Speaker 1: you're making, but if it's true net worth, then yeah,

973
00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:45,200
Speaker 1: all of your debt, credit card, mortgage, you know, all

974
00:52:45,239 --> 00:52:47,160
Speaker 1: of that stuff is all sort of laid out on

975
00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:50,839
Speaker 1: the table. So that and it's not about I mean,

976
00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:53,879
Speaker 1: I assume you would say it's not about saying, oh

977
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:56,080
Speaker 1: we're in trouble or oh dear God. But it's just like,

978
00:52:56,280 --> 00:52:58,319
Speaker 1: let's just look at it and make sure that we're

979
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:00,560
Speaker 1: all on the same page, and if they're things that

980
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:02,359
Speaker 1: we wanted you differently, we can right.

981
00:53:02,800 --> 00:53:05,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's exactly like it's a little saying network is

982
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:07,440
Speaker 2: not your self worth. But it's just like let's have

983
00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:10,120
Speaker 2: visibility to it and work as a unit on it

984
00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:12,520
Speaker 2: and see it as a unit because we know that

985
00:53:12,680 --> 00:53:15,759
Speaker 2: like all the metrics that define success in relationship, like

986
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:20,160
Speaker 2: you know, even sex drive, even breakups, like everything is

987
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:23,479
Speaker 2: connected when your money is like managed as a unit

988
00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:26,399
Speaker 2: as opposed to different directions. So that's that's the overall thought.

989
00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:32,640
Speaker 1: Talk money to me, baby, that's that's I need that

990
00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:37,760
Speaker 1: on my book. No, it's talk money to Me. Jason.

991
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:41,239
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, and you know what, listen, thank

992
00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:47,279
Speaker 1: you for being open to this conversation. I mean we

993
00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:49,720
Speaker 1: talked about things that I may not have been totally

994
00:53:49,719 --> 00:53:51,920
Speaker 1: comfortable with it. We also talked about things that you

995
00:53:51,960 --> 00:53:54,400
Speaker 1: weren't comfortable with. I think it's the start of a

996
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:55,319
Speaker 1: great relationship.

997
00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:57,839
Speaker 2: I think so too. I'm looking forward to it. If

998
00:53:57,840 --> 00:54:00,040
Speaker 2: you guys are listening to this, go DM Brian and

999
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:02,479
Speaker 2: tell them to come on Training Secrets and Brian, let's

1000
00:54:02,480 --> 00:54:04,680
Speaker 2: have you on man. Let's talk money by.

1001
00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:11,200
Speaker 1: Trading secrets available as we say, wherever you get your

1002
00:54:11,280 --> 00:54:14,560
Speaker 1: podcasts and also the new book Talk Money to Me. Jason,

1003
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:17,680
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I really appreciate you coming on.

1004
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:19,960
Speaker 2: Brian, you're the man. Thank you so much for having

1005
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:22,440
Speaker 2: me and whether it's poker or beer whatever, I look

1006
00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:23,799
Speaker 2: forward to hopefully connected soon.

1007
00:54:24,080 --> 00:54:25,120
Speaker 1: Absolutely, Thanks ma'am.

1008
00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:26,520
Speaker 2: All right, take care.

1009
00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:42,839
Speaker 1: Jason. Wow, you really made me think about some things

1010
00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:45,960
Speaker 1: that I have not been historically all that open about

1011
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:48,720
Speaker 1: I'm not sure I'm going to start sharing my personal

1012
00:54:48,719 --> 00:54:52,520
Speaker 1: life and finances all over, but I am certainly thinking

1013
00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:57,920
Speaker 1: about them. Thank you so much for accepting this podcast invitation.

1014
00:54:58,120 --> 00:55:00,359
Speaker 1: I don't have roses for you, but you can come

1015
00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:04,400
Speaker 1: back anytime. Jason's new book Talk Money to Me is

1016
00:55:04,480 --> 00:55:08,440
Speaker 1: hitting bookshelves as we speak, and his podcast Trading Secrets

1017
00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:11,759
Speaker 1: is available wherever you listen to podcasts. I know I'm

1018
00:55:11,760 --> 00:55:14,399
Speaker 1: going to be turning in check those out today. Come

1019
00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:17,759
Speaker 1: back here next week for more of well, more of me.

1020
00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:30,799
Speaker 1: Until then, have a good week. Off the Beat is

1021
00:55:30,840 --> 00:55:35,239
Speaker 1: hosted and executive produced by me Brian Baumgartner, alongside our

1022
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:39,719
Speaker 1: executive producer Lang Lee. Our senior producer is Diego Tapia.

1023
00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:43,400
Speaker 1: Our producers are Liz Hayes, Hannah Harris, and Emily Carr.

1024
00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:47,640
Speaker 1: Our talent producer is Ryan Papa Zachary, and our intern

1025
00:55:47,840 --> 00:55:51,800
Speaker 1: is Ali Amir Sahi. Our theme song Bubble and Squeak,

1026
00:55:52,120 --> 00:55:55,200
Speaker 1: performed by the one and only Creed Bratton,