1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:36,360 Speaker 1: Welcome. You are now listening to the Professional Professional Hey, 2 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 1: Professional home Girls is the kid of a name from 3 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:41,440 Speaker 1: the PSD podcast, the only place where you would hear 4 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:44,680 Speaker 1: interviews from black women an honestly on stories that will 5 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:47,680 Speaker 1: enlightened and expand on taboo topics. Now, if you hear 6 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:50,760 Speaker 1: someone that sounds familiar, mind the business that pays you child. 7 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 1: If you like the PhD podcast, please rate, review and 8 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:58,000 Speaker 1: subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Please five star reviews only. Hold 9 00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:01,000 Speaker 1: Me Down, Don't Hold Me Up is now available on 10 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,120 Speaker 1: the site as well as my book list, so please 11 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 1: make sure you visit the link in the show notes below. 12 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:07,760 Speaker 1: You can connect with the kid on Instagram at the 13 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:11,240 Speaker 1: Professional home Girl and at the PhD podcast. If you 14 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:15,080 Speaker 1: are on Twitter, please follow me at the PhD podcast now. 15 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:17,200 Speaker 1: If you are all caught up with episode, listen to 16 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:20,560 Speaker 1: the bonus episodes by supporting the PSD podcast Patreon account. 17 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:25,440 Speaker 1: To support, please visit www dot Patreon dot com. Forward 18 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:29,000 Speaker 1: slash the PSD podcast now. Please keep in mind that 19 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 1: all of my guests are Annes. So let's again this 20 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:34,160 Speaker 1: week's episode. So I'm super excited to speak with my 21 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:37,920 Speaker 1: guest today. Her her husband's story is beyond inspiring and 22 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:40,639 Speaker 1: has been seen all over the world from several media 23 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 1: outlets to go and viral on social media. I'm hearing 24 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:46,240 Speaker 1: my guests as we speak more about her story in 25 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:49,200 Speaker 1: her book with her husband, The Redemption of Bobby Love, 26 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:52,480 Speaker 1: a story of faith, family and justice. So I want 27 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,040 Speaker 1: to say thank you so much for being a part 28 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,680 Speaker 1: of the PhD podcast. And how are you doing tonight? 29 00:01:57,160 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 1: I'm doing well. Thank you. It's a pleasure be with you. 30 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:04,600 Speaker 1: Thank you. So before we start with your story, we 31 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:08,720 Speaker 1: gotta start with your love for the Pink Houses exactly. 32 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,079 Speaker 1: And the reason why I bought this up is because 33 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 1: the Pink Houses is not too far from my nana 34 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:17,480 Speaker 1: house and away right and away. People, especially your husband, 35 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 1: talks about how much you love the Pink Houses. It's 36 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:24,480 Speaker 1: the same way about how I feel about East New York. Okay, okay. 37 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:26,919 Speaker 1: So what do you think change over the years that 38 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:31,800 Speaker 1: made this community have such a bad rep now? Oh wow, Well, 39 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,640 Speaker 1: I think it's a change of times. You know, things 40 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:38,720 Speaker 1: are happening, all the guns and whatnot. You know, people 41 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:41,960 Speaker 1: are not as together as they used to be. Family, 42 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:46,520 Speaker 1: it's just not the same. So I call it the 43 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 1: wild Wild West. Over there. Yeah, it's wild over there. Home. 44 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:55,200 Speaker 1: Do you go back or I haven't been over there 45 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:58,720 Speaker 1: in a long time. No. Last time they had built 46 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,160 Speaker 1: a movie theater over there there and me and my 47 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 1: family we had went to go see a movie and 48 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,320 Speaker 1: we were all excited and everything to go and see 49 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 1: the movie. And somebody to a stink bomb in the movie. Yes, 50 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:15,800 Speaker 1: that is so stinky and there. Yeah it was terrible. 51 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,920 Speaker 1: So yeah, Lindon movie, that is crazy. And I still 52 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:21,280 Speaker 1: love going to the movie there as a kid. That's right, 53 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:25,280 Speaker 1: that's right. No more. How did you feel when you 54 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:26,639 Speaker 1: have to move out? Because I know there was a 55 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:29,720 Speaker 1: situation where, um, there was like a dead body or 56 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 1: something in the building. Oh please, We'll deal with plenty 57 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 1: of that. But because we needed a we wanted to 58 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:40,800 Speaker 1: get into a better place, a nicer place, because they 59 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:45,160 Speaker 1: had really started going down. So we moved um over 60 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:48,480 Speaker 1: in Clinton Hill, and we also moved there for better 61 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:53,320 Speaker 1: schooling for our children, our daughters at the time. But 62 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 1: it was really rough over there. That had got really bad. 63 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:59,280 Speaker 1: So the drug deals would be in the lobby. You 64 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:03,280 Speaker 1: couldn't even take the elevator upstairs. Yeah, you know, it 65 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:06,400 Speaker 1: was rough. You're in all over, you know, in the buildings, 66 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:12,320 Speaker 1: in the in the elevator, on the stairwells. Yeah. M hmmm. 67 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:14,760 Speaker 1: So let's talk about your upbringing because you came from 68 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 1: a very close knit family. Yes, m M. My family 69 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:23,120 Speaker 1: was very close knit. I mean we did everything with 70 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:27,479 Speaker 1: each other without with my family. You know, my um 71 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:31,960 Speaker 1: daddy he was like, um, a little league coach. My 72 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:36,040 Speaker 1: mom she was a stay at home mom. You know. 73 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:42,039 Speaker 1: Um she made lunches for us when we went to school. M. Yeah. 74 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,680 Speaker 1: She was always there for us. I mean she took 75 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 1: us to the library, she took us out to the park. 76 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:52,400 Speaker 1: We were always very close. One thing that Jr. Husband 77 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,720 Speaker 1: has in comment is that you both lost a parent 78 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:58,920 Speaker 1: at a young age. Yes. Yes, I was nine years 79 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 1: old when I lost my mom, and um, I believe 80 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:04,360 Speaker 1: Bobby was the same. Bobby was nine years old when 81 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 1: he lost his dad, um, and then he lost his 82 00:05:09,279 --> 00:05:14,120 Speaker 1: mother in the teenage years. Yeah that was sad. Yes. Yes, 83 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,120 Speaker 1: looking back, do you wish you would have done things 84 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,440 Speaker 1: differently after your mom passed away because you still had 85 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:22,280 Speaker 1: a lot of responsibilities to help your family out, which 86 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:27,560 Speaker 1: later affected you well at that time, Um, looking back, 87 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:31,799 Speaker 1: I would say I wish I would have um finished school, 88 00:05:32,279 --> 00:05:34,520 Speaker 1: like you know, my college years. I wish I would 89 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,880 Speaker 1: have finished that. But I mean it was all about 90 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:40,760 Speaker 1: my family and helping taking care of my brothers, and 91 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:45,960 Speaker 1: so that's what I did. M Yeah, and then were 92 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:49,320 Speaker 1: your dad remarried your stuff mom? I was like, day, 93 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:54,640 Speaker 1: dad right, Oh man, that's a whole another book school 94 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:58,280 Speaker 1: right there. Especially when he asked, y'all, how do you 95 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:01,520 Speaker 1: feel about calling her mommy? I was like, what, yes, yes, 96 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:04,600 Speaker 1: And I remember that so vividly. That's something I'll never 97 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:09,120 Speaker 1: forget because I felt like, you know, um, I know 98 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:13,320 Speaker 1: she's not my mom, but I hadn't called anybody mommy 99 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:17,279 Speaker 1: in such a long time, and I felt like, well, 100 00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:20,640 Speaker 1: feel it's gonna feel good to call somebody mom. Being 101 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:23,279 Speaker 1: at that young age, that's how I figured it, you know, 102 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:28,120 Speaker 1: figured it out. But it wasn't that way. It was 103 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:31,800 Speaker 1: not that way when your husble And one more thing, 104 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,720 Speaker 1: because I was like, day, why does she take the table? Right? 105 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:38,760 Speaker 1: She took because that now that table we had a table, right, 106 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:42,039 Speaker 1: But she came and she had her own friends here, right, 107 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 1: So that table that she brought into the house was 108 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:47,440 Speaker 1: her own that she had brought in her own table. 109 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 1: So took the table, took the table. We were eating 110 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:57,280 Speaker 1: off like a trunk. But yeah, we can laugh at 111 00:06:57,320 --> 00:07:01,120 Speaker 1: that now. We We came my brothers often due I 112 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:04,200 Speaker 1: can imagine, especial since the Holidays is coming up exactly. 113 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 1: Oh boy, we got jokes. When your husband told you 114 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 1: about his upbringing, how did they make you feel because 115 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 1: y'all had two completely different upbringings. M Well, I looked 116 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:19,559 Speaker 1: at it as his mom. It wasn't so different because 117 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:21,240 Speaker 1: you know, he would tell me how his mom would 118 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,560 Speaker 1: have them go to church, and they would go to church. 119 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 1: He would make them go to church. So I knew 120 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,040 Speaker 1: about that. My father was like, yeah, you can go 121 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:29,840 Speaker 1: to that party, but you can make sure you get 122 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:33,240 Speaker 1: up and go to church. So you know, I figured, 123 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,119 Speaker 1: you know, his mom would have them going to church, 124 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:41,200 Speaker 1: and um, and they were they were closed, they closed. 125 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:44,480 Speaker 1: You know. He was very close to his sisters and brothers, 126 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 1: you know. So I looked at it like that. But 127 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:51,239 Speaker 1: it's just that the father was not there in the house. 128 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:56,480 Speaker 1: There was problems, you know, yeah early on. So was 129 00:07:56,520 --> 00:08:02,040 Speaker 1: there anything about his upbringing that shocked you? Um? About 130 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:04,800 Speaker 1: Bobby's upbringing that shop me at the time. Well, no, 131 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:09,160 Speaker 1: because you know him growing up like back in the day, 132 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:14,440 Speaker 1: like that in self, Um, Jim crow self, you know. Um, 133 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:16,640 Speaker 1: he would tell me different things, like he would let 134 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:21,840 Speaker 1: me know about when, uh, how James Brown had when 135 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:24,760 Speaker 1: Martin Luther King had passed on, how he had got 136 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 1: on the bus and the James Brown got on the 137 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,400 Speaker 1: bus and he was telling the kids, listen, I don't 138 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,360 Speaker 1: want you all to go out and loot. You know. 139 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:37,000 Speaker 1: They they cared about the kids. So they really told 140 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:39,000 Speaker 1: the stars. They came out and told me. He said 141 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:42,320 Speaker 1: that there's gonna be a concert and a show I'm 142 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,160 Speaker 1: gonna be on TV. I want y'all to go home 143 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,840 Speaker 1: and look at that. Don't go out looting and things 144 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,920 Speaker 1: like that. You know, they cared about their kids and stuff. 145 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 1: So m hmm. Yeah. And I also felt like when 146 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:56,280 Speaker 1: I was reading your book, Um, I felt like it 147 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 1: was like a history lesson Okay, because I felt like, 148 00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:04,360 Speaker 1: how so, because I feel like obviously you're a woman 149 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:07,240 Speaker 1: and your husband is of a certain age. I feel 150 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,320 Speaker 1: like y'all were talking about different things that was going on, 151 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:12,199 Speaker 1: like the gym prologue, I'm cursed of the Sam Clok concert. 152 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,280 Speaker 1: Even when you explain about the pink houses. Like I 153 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,800 Speaker 1: remember stories about the Pink House because my grandma told 154 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,679 Speaker 1: me stories at the Pink House. So it's like it 155 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:22,120 Speaker 1: was nice to see like from where you all started 156 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:25,240 Speaker 1: in the history and like his mom working and like 157 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:28,120 Speaker 1: just different things that happened in your life that like 158 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:33,760 Speaker 1: it happened also in history. Yes, yes, so how did 159 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:38,320 Speaker 1: you meet ahead, No, I understand what you're saying. Now, 160 00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:41,480 Speaker 1: get you mm hmm, because even what the whole Sam 161 00:09:41,559 --> 00:09:44,160 Speaker 1: Pork thing like now you you can curse of celebrit 162 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:47,680 Speaker 1: ear and nothing happened. But with him he went to 163 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,440 Speaker 1: jail or he got in trouble and I'm just like wow, 164 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:55,640 Speaker 1: Like it was just so hard for kids from that right, 165 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,840 Speaker 1: you know, and you know, and he says it all 166 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,120 Speaker 1: the time. He said, you know, we like to dance, 167 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:03,600 Speaker 1: we'd like to get up there and dancing. We wanted 168 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:06,760 Speaker 1: you know, the kids time. That's right, And he said, 169 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:10,240 Speaker 1: that's like that was his first concert. You know, he excited. 170 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:12,320 Speaker 1: He can't really paid that got his little money together 171 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:15,880 Speaker 1: to goal and you know, you get you know, don't 172 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,559 Speaker 1: let the kids get out to and dance. So it 173 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:22,240 Speaker 1: was hurting, hurtful or anam with the and I want 174 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:23,600 Speaker 1: to get too much of the book because we need 175 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:27,719 Speaker 1: people support this book. But even with the him and 176 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:32,319 Speaker 1: being um integrated into the all white school, yes, that 177 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:35,280 Speaker 1: was another thing. And they always have to fight, fight, fight, 178 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 1: he said. We were fighting all the time. He said, 179 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:40,080 Speaker 1: you know, they would jump the line thinking that okay, 180 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,080 Speaker 1: one or two get in front of them, white kids 181 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:44,000 Speaker 1: get in the front. But then the whole game, you know, 182 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,840 Speaker 1: they let everybody in its Oh no, that ain't happening. 183 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 1: So that's right. Yeah, it was so sad, like you 184 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:54,959 Speaker 1: hear about things like this, but then it's like when 185 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:56,920 Speaker 1: you talk to people that actually lived through it, just 186 00:10:57,080 --> 00:11:00,439 Speaker 1: like godly, that's right. He even talked to about when 187 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:02,719 Speaker 1: he said how he said, I want to taste the 188 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:06,760 Speaker 1: water to see if it was different. Even that, you know, 189 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:12,200 Speaker 1: so unfair and disgust. It really was. It really was. 190 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:15,720 Speaker 1: So listen, I did my homework. This is a history 191 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:21,920 Speaker 1: of let'son, y'all, so let's talk about how they team 192 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:23,640 Speaker 1: meet your husband, because I feel like I have such 193 00:11:23,679 --> 00:11:26,920 Speaker 1: a cute love story, like I'm obsessed with y'all. Y'all, 194 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:32,840 Speaker 1: so fly, thank you, thank you. So what happened was 195 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:37,160 Speaker 1: we we met one hour job I had was away 196 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:40,160 Speaker 1: from their job, and then I came back, and when 197 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:44,400 Speaker 1: I came back, Bobby was there. So he would always 198 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:48,200 Speaker 1: be singing and stuff. And I'm like that, I said, 199 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,559 Speaker 1: who was that? He's so loud? He was that and 200 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,240 Speaker 1: they said, oh, show that's Bobby. He's a new guy. 201 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:57,319 Speaker 1: And he at the time, he was like the pot washer. 202 00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,319 Speaker 1: He wasn't cooking at the time, but he was the 203 00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:04,199 Speaker 1: pot washer. And he would also bring the wagons upstairs because, um, 204 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:07,520 Speaker 1: we worked in the kitchen as I was a dietary aid, 205 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,640 Speaker 1: and he would bring the food up on the cards, 206 00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:14,240 Speaker 1: you know, we would serve the food. So that's how 207 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:18,840 Speaker 1: you know, we started at that job. And so he 208 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:21,920 Speaker 1: later became a cook. But um, the way we met, 209 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:24,400 Speaker 1: we just started talking. He would make you laugh. He 210 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:27,040 Speaker 1: Bobby would be cracking me up because he would be 211 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,319 Speaker 1: singing and I be out of tune, you know, but 212 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:32,640 Speaker 1: he's still singing, you know. And I but what I 213 00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:35,040 Speaker 1: thought was so cute. He used to wear his hat 214 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:39,280 Speaker 1: the very opposite way that the other guys were were 215 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,400 Speaker 1: from what the other guys were there. So I'm like, 216 00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:45,360 Speaker 1: he's so did He's different he's funny, he makes everybody laugh. 217 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:48,000 Speaker 1: Everybody seemed to like him, and so, you know, we 218 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:50,800 Speaker 1: would sit down at the table for lunchtime and he 219 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:52,959 Speaker 1: would be we were just talking and to anything. We 220 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,600 Speaker 1: started getting a little seriously asking me other things, and 221 00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:58,720 Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, I gotta like him. So that's 222 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:00,640 Speaker 1: how we we met. And he asked me to go 223 00:13:00,679 --> 00:13:04,600 Speaker 1: on a date. Now, this date he said the Purple Rain, 224 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:07,960 Speaker 1: the movie. I said, I was not. I said it 225 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:10,440 Speaker 1: was the gladdest night concert you asked me to go to. 226 00:13:10,559 --> 00:13:14,440 Speaker 1: And I was like, sure, I guess. So it's a 227 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:17,120 Speaker 1: debate with that. Yeah, because in the book it was 228 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:23,960 Speaker 1: Purple Rain. Yeah. I love the entire book. But I 229 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,319 Speaker 1: think for the most part, because everybody knows so much 230 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:29,040 Speaker 1: about your husband, but I love your partner most because 231 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:31,760 Speaker 1: as a woman, I can just relate to you. When 232 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:33,400 Speaker 1: you were saying that something is just so too good 233 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:38,560 Speaker 1: to be true and you prosked up on him, I 234 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:43,960 Speaker 1: was like, okay, Mrs Love I Um it was some things. 235 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:47,400 Speaker 1: I was just like, I feel like he has something 236 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:50,079 Speaker 1: to tell me. Like we would be like in conversation 237 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:52,560 Speaker 1: with things sometimes and he was just kind of like 238 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,880 Speaker 1: shut down and just not really talk about it, and 239 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:57,520 Speaker 1: it'll say I'll get we'll talk later, we'll get back 240 00:13:57,559 --> 00:14:00,320 Speaker 1: to it. And I'm like, I didn't like that too much, 241 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:03,720 Speaker 1: and but I just let it go. And then there 242 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:07,680 Speaker 1: were times like, um, he didn't like to take pictures 243 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:09,840 Speaker 1: and I said, you don't like to take pictures? Come on? 244 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,160 Speaker 1: Unless I really said, come on you, I said, let's 245 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,240 Speaker 1: take this picture, will take? He would come, but he 246 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:16,840 Speaker 1: really didn't like to take pictures, and I thought that 247 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,360 Speaker 1: was a little odd. And then he had asked me 248 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,440 Speaker 1: when we first got he said, would I like to 249 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:25,360 Speaker 1: go and get married in Jamaica? And I said, I 250 00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:27,880 Speaker 1: don't want to get married, No Jamaica. And they had 251 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,320 Speaker 1: me thinking that I would always go back thinking to that. 252 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:34,280 Speaker 1: But what really had me gone was I was I 253 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:37,840 Speaker 1: would have this recurrent dream about them with this thick 254 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:42,240 Speaker 1: rope coming from his mouth, and I'm like, what is 255 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:45,040 Speaker 1: that about? You know? I said he had something to 256 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:47,160 Speaker 1: tell me, he's just not telling me. And I would 257 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,920 Speaker 1: ask him, do you have another family someplace? I mean, 258 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:53,440 Speaker 1: you can let what's going on? But he said, no, 259 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 1: Sheryl is it's nothing like that. It's nothing nothing, It's nothing, Okay, 260 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,640 Speaker 1: and then I would even ask my girl offriends and said, 261 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:03,080 Speaker 1: you know, I feel some kind of way with it. 262 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:06,080 Speaker 1: There's a girl you you you're putting too much into it. 263 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:09,040 Speaker 1: You're putting too much into it. The man works, Bobby 264 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:13,400 Speaker 1: goes to work, works two and three jobs. Yeah, he's 265 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,560 Speaker 1: always and I'm like, that's right, I'm putting too much 266 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:18,040 Speaker 1: into it. He definitely didn't have time to cheat. That's 267 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:22,360 Speaker 1: not right because if he has time to cheat with 268 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:25,080 Speaker 1: three jobs, and I don't know, now this this is 269 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:31,680 Speaker 1: a supernatural person. Yeah right, And then went to that 270 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,200 Speaker 1: has family too, because you was his family was always 271 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,360 Speaker 1: stand offish towards you as well. Well I thought it was. 272 00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:39,920 Speaker 1: But the thing was that that was another thing. I 273 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,520 Speaker 1: just thought they didn't like me. I saw it, and 274 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:44,720 Speaker 1: then I just came up. I said, they're bougee. That's 275 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:47,640 Speaker 1: what it is. I said, I get along with everybody. 276 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:51,640 Speaker 1: They're just bougee. So I saw what that. But they 277 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:53,760 Speaker 1: was just being loyal to Bobby, and they didn't want 278 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:57,240 Speaker 1: to say too much, you know, like they he had 279 00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:00,600 Speaker 1: already had the conversation with him. Listen, y'all not quote 280 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:03,280 Speaker 1: I am not walter to such and such a thing, 281 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:07,440 Speaker 1: you know. So they were just loyale to him with that. 282 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:11,520 Speaker 1: I can only imagine how the family felt to hold 283 00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 1: onto that secret for so long. I know, I figured, 284 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:17,440 Speaker 1: I said, that's after the whole thing. I said, that's 285 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:22,160 Speaker 1: why y'all was acting like that, right. We told Bobby 286 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:26,200 Speaker 1: all the time, tell her, tell you know, let her know, 287 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:28,720 Speaker 1: tell your wife, tell your wife. You gotta tell your wife. 288 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:31,320 Speaker 1: And we have this cousin, well it's um, not a 289 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:34,840 Speaker 1: cousin's a nephew, his nephew, and they're about the near 290 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:38,240 Speaker 1: close the same age. And he said, shold him. I 291 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:40,480 Speaker 1: was telling him all the time. I all him to 292 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:42,880 Speaker 1: tell you. So we crack up at that too. So 293 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:46,440 Speaker 1: so tell us about the morning you found out who 294 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:48,240 Speaker 1: your husband really was. Go. When I was reading that, 295 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:51,160 Speaker 1: my anxiety was going up. I was like, oh my god, 296 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:57,080 Speaker 1: that that was something. Okay. So my son, just Jordan's 297 00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,920 Speaker 1: he was on his way to school, and my others 298 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:03,000 Speaker 1: two kids, they were here. Jasmine she's already married, my 299 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:06,159 Speaker 1: oldest girl. She's up in Harlem. But so that morning, 300 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:09,480 Speaker 1: I'm fixing my cup of tea, and um, Jordans had 301 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,760 Speaker 1: just not just slept, but maybe left about maybe a 302 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:15,440 Speaker 1: good ten fifteen minutes ago and there's this loud knocked 303 00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:20,000 Speaker 1: at the door. So I go and we both say 304 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:21,960 Speaker 1: at the same time because it was so loud, who 305 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:26,920 Speaker 1: is it? And they'll say we want to A and 306 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:29,400 Speaker 1: we're like, this is this is too A. So we went. 307 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:32,320 Speaker 1: We opened. I went and opened the door and girl, 308 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:38,520 Speaker 1: as I opened the door, who was the NYPT guns 309 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,600 Speaker 1: drawing coming through? Sam back man, you don't know who. 310 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:46,200 Speaker 1: I'm like, what, but oh my god? And I'm looking 311 00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:48,919 Speaker 1: at my husband and he ain't looking at me. I'm like, 312 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:52,120 Speaker 1: oh my god, what's going on? Just a whole bunch 313 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:54,880 Speaker 1: of things went online. I'm thinking, did the boys do something? 314 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,159 Speaker 1: Did you know? Did they get in some trouble? And 315 00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:01,200 Speaker 1: here's the who kill who? Right eating? And I actually 316 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:05,800 Speaker 1: said to Bobby, did you kill somebody? But oh it 317 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,920 Speaker 1: was it was something. It was really something. And so 318 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,840 Speaker 1: but he's not looking Bobby's not looking at me, ain't 319 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:15,919 Speaker 1: looking up down. I'm like, what is this? So I 320 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,800 Speaker 1: see the cops like make a semicircle around him and 321 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:22,399 Speaker 1: they're asking him questions and I still don't know what 322 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:25,040 Speaker 1: they're asking us. This other guy cops is keeping me 323 00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:30,439 Speaker 1: bad and so they finally towards him, so I finally 324 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,720 Speaker 1: get away. We'll not get away, but get kind of 325 00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:36,040 Speaker 1: around this other cop because Bobby, he's a diabetic. So 326 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:38,560 Speaker 1: I'm like, he needs something to eat. Some kidting cookies 327 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:41,439 Speaker 1: for him and everything he has. He has to eat something. 328 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:45,119 Speaker 1: But it's very it's very frantic. It's like, you know, 329 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,800 Speaker 1: it's a mess. And then my two kids they're standing there, 330 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:52,840 Speaker 1: We're both they're saying, um. My daughter is saying, he 331 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,400 Speaker 1: has he's a diabetic. He has to have his medicine here, 332 00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:57,800 Speaker 1: but they wouldn't let him take get his medicine right 333 00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:01,400 Speaker 1: then and there. And Bobby finally said to this before 334 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:04,080 Speaker 1: you this was before the kids, you know, and I 335 00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:06,760 Speaker 1: still don't know what's going on. But they're just saying 336 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:08,919 Speaker 1: that big and I have to take him down, you know, 337 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,560 Speaker 1: arrest him. So they took him out of the house 338 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:14,240 Speaker 1: and you know, took him on and arrested him and everything. 339 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:18,800 Speaker 1: And so it seemed like a few minutes, but it 340 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,400 Speaker 1: had to be more than a few minutes because two 341 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,879 Speaker 1: calls came through. He called me and Bobby said, Cheryl, 342 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:28,320 Speaker 1: I'm okay, damn, I'm at the Bellevue Hospital. And there, 343 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,919 Speaker 1: let me get my medicine now, because I said, okay, 344 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:34,960 Speaker 1: and I was saying to him, you know, everything's gonna 345 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:37,119 Speaker 1: be okay. Were with you, and you know, because I 346 00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:40,720 Speaker 1: didn't know how he was thinking. Honestly, my thoughts were 347 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,400 Speaker 1: with him that whole time. I was not thinking about 348 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:46,800 Speaker 1: myself at the time. I was just thinking because I 349 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:48,800 Speaker 1: was thinking, this is over woman. I didn't know if 350 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:54,800 Speaker 1: he was suicidal, yes, but that's how I was thinking. 351 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:57,560 Speaker 1: But the cops were saying to him, man, we didn't 352 00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:01,040 Speaker 1: even want to arrest you, but somebody had called and 353 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:04,280 Speaker 1: had kept calling. We were watching you for like over 354 00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:08,320 Speaker 1: a month, and you know, we had to make sure 355 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:13,119 Speaker 1: it was who they said it was, and it you know, 356 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:16,400 Speaker 1: it turned out it was him, So that's why they 357 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:21,400 Speaker 1: had to arrest him. But um, yeah, that the crimes 358 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:24,160 Speaker 1: that he had done, that was goode like really long 359 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:27,520 Speaker 1: time ago. They really wasn't looking for him, the FBI, 360 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:33,080 Speaker 1: they weren't looking for yes. Yes, So it was just 361 00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:37,600 Speaker 1: a whole lot going on that morning. You know, I'm like, really, 362 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:40,800 Speaker 1: I didn't know what what the deal was at that 363 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,240 Speaker 1: time because I was saying, there was two calls and 364 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,760 Speaker 1: so the next goal that came through was the lawyer 365 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:49,520 Speaker 1: and she called and she said, Mrs love Um, when 366 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:52,240 Speaker 1: you go and see your husband, when you go see Bobby, 367 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:58,480 Speaker 1: you're gonna ask for Walks and Miller. Girl who right? 368 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,560 Speaker 1: But I'm like, I wasn't even thinking like that. This 369 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,760 Speaker 1: is what I said. I said always that the name 370 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,879 Speaker 1: of the facility. When I said you could have you 371 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:12,720 Speaker 1: heard crickets? I mean, then I hear no, ma'am, just 372 00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:16,800 Speaker 1: that's who you You asked for Walter Miller. And I'm 373 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,840 Speaker 1: telling you when I hung up right then and there, 374 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:23,200 Speaker 1: I said, took my daughter because she was standing, I said, Jesse, 375 00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:29,280 Speaker 1: I said, that's your father's name, Miller. That's how I 376 00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:32,360 Speaker 1: found And I think that from the way that man 377 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,240 Speaker 1: that office had that saying back, you don't know who 378 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:39,680 Speaker 1: this is, and how the pieces just started coming together, 379 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:43,080 Speaker 1: you know, because I said, it's just his name is 380 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:48,120 Speaker 1: Gene Miller Lovette And it just came to me just 381 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:51,080 Speaker 1: like that. I said, everything just started coming to you, 382 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:54,720 Speaker 1: coming to me. And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, 383 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:57,840 Speaker 1: this is now. I don't condone with your husband did 384 00:21:57,840 --> 00:21:59,919 Speaker 1: in the past, but I don't believe that It's forty 385 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:04,360 Speaker 1: years later, the fact that somebody pretty much yes, got 386 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,600 Speaker 1: him into the situation for two thousand dollars, was like, 387 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:11,960 Speaker 1: thank you. I just thought it was disgusting. It's like you. 388 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:14,840 Speaker 1: I was so mad, I'm telling me. I was like, 389 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,840 Speaker 1: I can't, who could do? I was so angry. But 390 00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 1: I had to get older that because you know what, 391 00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:24,639 Speaker 1: we wouldn't even be I wouldn't even be here talking 392 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:30,040 Speaker 1: to you right now. That's right, that's right. Could you 393 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:36,040 Speaker 1: imagine I'm hitting y'all up, asking me all for some money? 394 00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:39,240 Speaker 1: You know that would be just too much? All right? 395 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:45,720 Speaker 1: You got some nerves that'd be too much nerve? Now? 396 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:49,960 Speaker 1: Oh man. So I know when a lot of people 397 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,760 Speaker 1: first heard this story, the first thing they said was, 398 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:55,359 Speaker 1: how did the wife not know? What are your thoughts 399 00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:58,320 Speaker 1: on that? Okay? I had to feel I was like, 400 00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:02,040 Speaker 1: oh my goodness that Remember I said, at the beginning, 401 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,520 Speaker 1: my thoughts were all for my husband. I was like, 402 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:09,520 Speaker 1: not thinking about myself. But afterwards, after things started, I said, 403 00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:13,439 Speaker 1: oh my god, how could you have been so dumb? 404 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:17,680 Speaker 1: So bid? That's what I said. But then I had 405 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:20,840 Speaker 1: to forgive myself. I had to. I felt like I 406 00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:24,119 Speaker 1: had to forgive myself and I had to forgive Bobby. 407 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:26,840 Speaker 1: I had to forgive myself because that was my husband. 408 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,320 Speaker 1: I wasn't looking for nothing bad in him. He was 409 00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:32,080 Speaker 1: taking care of me. That was my Bobby. Bobby was 410 00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:34,640 Speaker 1: taking care of me. He was taking care of my children. 411 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:37,919 Speaker 1: I was definitely a great provider. Yes, he was a provider. 412 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:41,520 Speaker 1: And then I had to think about how he must 413 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:46,840 Speaker 1: have felt holding that in all these years, every day 414 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:49,920 Speaker 1: passing me, passing each other by, we're talking to each other, 415 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:53,040 Speaker 1: we're doing different things, and he holding that thing into 416 00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:56,359 Speaker 1: And I said, you know, he's a strong man. And 417 00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:59,360 Speaker 1: I really I always knew that he was a strong person. 418 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:04,000 Speaker 1: But when I saw this, thinking about that, I said, 419 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:06,720 Speaker 1: my God, I said, God, you have just been with 420 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:11,760 Speaker 1: us all the time. You know, yes, when you know, 421 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,439 Speaker 1: when you know it's God, you know they had to 422 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:17,639 Speaker 1: be God, because I was like, man, that's right. But 423 00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:20,119 Speaker 1: I had to forgive myself, and I had to forgive 424 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:22,240 Speaker 1: my husband too. I had to come to some real, 425 00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:27,119 Speaker 1: realistic terms and say, be for real. He did he 426 00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:32,040 Speaker 1: deceived you, but you love him. You love him, and 427 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,240 Speaker 1: y'all believe that he would have done the same thing 428 00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:37,560 Speaker 1: for me. You know, I don't condone the things that 429 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,359 Speaker 1: he did. But I also looked at the pay. You know, 430 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:44,000 Speaker 1: you have to look at people, understand what people. We 431 00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:47,720 Speaker 1: don't know what people go through. I happen, So you 432 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:51,520 Speaker 1: have to have an understanding for people. You know, their 433 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,919 Speaker 1: life is not gonna be how your life was in 434 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:57,520 Speaker 1: your life, not like this. You you have to be understanding. 435 00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:00,640 Speaker 1: He had to listen, you know. And there was times 436 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,600 Speaker 1: when Bobby would be trying to tell me things and 437 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:05,320 Speaker 1: I just said to him the other day, I said, honey, 438 00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:07,760 Speaker 1: some of those things that the stories you were telling me. 439 00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,520 Speaker 1: He was trying and that was part of the story, 440 00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:12,399 Speaker 1: but I I didn't want to hear it. I was 441 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,560 Speaker 1: like that, ain't nothing bragg about that, ain't nothing to 442 00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,240 Speaker 1: talk about, you know. And I wasn't even shutting him down. 443 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:22,520 Speaker 1: You have to listen to what people are saying, you know. Yeah, 444 00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:29,040 Speaker 1: give everybody deserved the second chance. Yes, there's true, especially 445 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:34,520 Speaker 1: the character change, because he definitely that's right, that's right. Yeah. 446 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:36,880 Speaker 1: So after finding out from the police and FBI who 447 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:42,360 Speaker 1: your husband was, he was later transferred to Rikers. How 448 00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:46,560 Speaker 1: was that experience because I can't even imagine. Oh boy, yeah, 449 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:49,680 Speaker 1: I was gonna say, if there was a good A 450 00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,560 Speaker 1: good thing about it. If there was a good thing 451 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:56,480 Speaker 1: about it was that Bobby was put in with um 452 00:25:56,520 --> 00:26:00,080 Speaker 1: the plot that's almost like um the hospital paul Are. 453 00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:03,719 Speaker 1: So he wasn't really like with the younger group kids 454 00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:07,960 Speaker 1: that were wild and really doing crazy things. These guys 455 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,760 Speaker 1: there were something that was in there was a little 456 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:12,600 Speaker 1: you know on the wall side, but there was nothing 457 00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:17,679 Speaker 1: like in the other cell blocks. Right. So, um, I 458 00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:19,960 Speaker 1: can't remember what the name of the block was called 459 00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:22,919 Speaker 1: right now, but he was like more in a um 460 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:28,359 Speaker 1: in the infirmary. M hm m hm. So um, we 461 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:30,359 Speaker 1: were going to see him. We would make sure every 462 00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,480 Speaker 1: week that we were there to see you know, they're 463 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:37,720 Speaker 1: seeing him, visiting with him, and um, you know being 464 00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:41,960 Speaker 1: there at that time. So yeah, you know what I 465 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,399 Speaker 1: was gonna say, Because isn't really possible for you to 466 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:49,720 Speaker 1: know somebody. Do you think that everything know everything? No, 467 00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:57,240 Speaker 1: I don't think you don't know everything about right, No, No, 468 00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:00,960 Speaker 1: because a girl, y'all been married for a long time. 469 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:05,760 Speaker 1: But it's like, yeah, I just see how you didn't know. Uh, yeah, 470 00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:08,080 Speaker 1: we were married for a long time. I remember one 471 00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:11,480 Speaker 1: of the girls that my job just said, Mrs miss 472 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:15,960 Speaker 1: love you knew you knew she knew you. I said, Uh, 473 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:19,680 Speaker 1: I honestly didn't know. I said, I didn't know. I said, 474 00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:22,000 Speaker 1: I wasn't thinking like that. I said, I knew something, 475 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:26,120 Speaker 1: but I never thought nothing like that. Maybe you were 476 00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:30,879 Speaker 1: busy with the kids, with my children and getting getting 477 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:34,440 Speaker 1: a career going and things like that. So, like I said, 478 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:37,399 Speaker 1: I wasn't looking for those negative things with Bobby. Bobby 479 00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:39,920 Speaker 1: was Um. Gobby was good to me, like we now. 480 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,240 Speaker 1: We had our ups and downs in our marriage. That's 481 00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:46,840 Speaker 1: where marriages, but um, for the most part, that's how 482 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,640 Speaker 1: you know. I had to outweigh the good, the bad, 483 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:52,480 Speaker 1: and the ugly. I outweighed everything, and there was more 484 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:59,680 Speaker 1: good to our relationships then the bad stuff. Right. Yeah. 485 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:02,400 Speaker 1: So after spending six months in Rikers, he was later 486 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:08,879 Speaker 1: transferred to North Carolina. Mm hmmm, now that that was. 487 00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:12,679 Speaker 1: They sent him to a place called Spruce Pines, North Carolina. 488 00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:15,240 Speaker 1: I never heard of that, and that sounds like a 489 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:24,159 Speaker 1: serious scary set up. He did not want us to 490 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:26,719 Speaker 1: come down there at all. He said, I don't want 491 00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:29,159 Speaker 1: you all down here. Don't come down. And I said, Okay, 492 00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:31,600 Speaker 1: once you get there, we'll all come down. We'll visit 493 00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:33,680 Speaker 1: you down there, and he was like, no, Cheryl, I 494 00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,280 Speaker 1: don't want y'all to come down here, like you know, 495 00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:39,320 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna do my time here and we're gonna 496 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:43,440 Speaker 1: you know, it's gonna be like that. I don't want 497 00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:47,400 Speaker 1: you all down here, is no? All right? Right, I'm 498 00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:50,320 Speaker 1: like okay. But we just wrote letters to each other. 499 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:55,080 Speaker 1: We um talked on the phone every day, maybe two 500 00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:57,240 Speaker 1: or three times a day. I would never miss my 501 00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:01,480 Speaker 1: calls my girlfriends at the job. They would be like, 502 00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:03,760 Speaker 1: come on showing out to hang out, and I'm like, 503 00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:06,720 Speaker 1: I would say gift and I said, holy what what time? 504 00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:09,040 Speaker 1: And didn't say it's unless it that's right. You ain't 505 00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:10,760 Speaker 1: going right, that's it, that's right. You know I'm not. 506 00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:13,800 Speaker 1: So I had to get my call. I had to 507 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:17,280 Speaker 1: get my call from my hobby. So but I felt 508 00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:20,200 Speaker 1: like this situation made you closer. And the reason why 509 00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:22,240 Speaker 1: I asked for a reason, I said this is because 510 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,960 Speaker 1: you mentioned how the communication just got so much better 511 00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:28,760 Speaker 1: while he was in prison. Yes, it really did. And 512 00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:33,040 Speaker 1: when I say that, um, it's really it's wonderful now. 513 00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:36,080 Speaker 1: You know, before I thought it was good and I 514 00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:40,400 Speaker 1: love my husband and he loved me, and but I 515 00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:44,360 Speaker 1: just there was something missing, you know, But now we're 516 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:48,320 Speaker 1: able to talk about things and we don't hold He 517 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:51,360 Speaker 1: can be his true self, his true authentic self, and 518 00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:53,800 Speaker 1: that's what he does, and I can be my true 519 00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:58,240 Speaker 1: self also, you know, and talk things out. And sometimes 520 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:00,600 Speaker 1: we don't get it all figured out right in in there, 521 00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,600 Speaker 1: but we say, okay, so we gotta stop right now, 522 00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,080 Speaker 1: but I'm coming back, you know, we'll come back and 523 00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:08,240 Speaker 1: we're gonna talk about it. And that's what we do. 524 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:12,680 Speaker 1: So the communication is much better, you know, listening wise 525 00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:18,040 Speaker 1: and talking wise, So it's just better. And throughout the journey, 526 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:21,320 Speaker 1: you were encouraged to share your family's story, which later 527 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:24,520 Speaker 1: helped him get on parole by doing interviews. And I 528 00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:27,400 Speaker 1: know your old school, you know in the black community, 529 00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:30,719 Speaker 1: with goes on, how stays in the house? Right, so 530 00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:32,800 Speaker 1: how didn't make you feel the tech everbyone? What was 531 00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:36,440 Speaker 1: going on? Oh boy, that was kind of rough, tell 532 00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:39,800 Speaker 1: you the truth, that was really rough because that's what 533 00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:42,440 Speaker 1: we were raised on, like what goes on in this 534 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,040 Speaker 1: out stays and this house? Don't you tell nobody nothing 535 00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:48,000 Speaker 1: all of that. So I grew up with that and 536 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:52,960 Speaker 1: so it was kind of hard for me to um 537 00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:56,040 Speaker 1: let people know what was going on. I mean, I 538 00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:58,920 Speaker 1: really didn't. Bobby had asked me. He said, so I'm 539 00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:02,160 Speaker 1: gonna I want to just book and so I'm gonna 540 00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,640 Speaker 1: go on these different shows, and I want do you 541 00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,120 Speaker 1: want to go on these shows and things like that? 542 00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:10,959 Speaker 1: And do you? And I was like no, I said, honey, 543 00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:13,200 Speaker 1: you got head on. I said, I'm gonna be it 544 00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:17,680 Speaker 1: around you, but I ain't gonna feel't you go out? Phil? Phil? 545 00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:24,000 Speaker 1: What's that man's name? About the Field show? And I'm 546 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:29,240 Speaker 1: not doing those things right? But what happened and writing 547 00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:33,320 Speaker 1: a book was so therapeutic, that's number one. But before 548 00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:38,400 Speaker 1: even the book came out, there was the story, the 549 00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:41,320 Speaker 1: Humans of New York story, and so that's how he 550 00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:44,520 Speaker 1: got started. And so I really didn't want that to 551 00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:49,080 Speaker 1: come out either, but it went on and I spoke 552 00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:53,000 Speaker 1: about it and everything, you know, and I spoke how 553 00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:58,080 Speaker 1: I felt, and so that story had came out, the 554 00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:01,400 Speaker 1: Humans of New York story, and so my daughter said 555 00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:04,360 Speaker 1: to me, Mommy, you know, have you read any of 556 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,239 Speaker 1: these comments that people are saying? And I said no, 557 00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:09,640 Speaker 1: and I don't want to, but she said, Mommy, you 558 00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:12,240 Speaker 1: really need to read them, you know. So I sat 559 00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:16,360 Speaker 1: there and I really started reading it and the girls. 560 00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:18,360 Speaker 1: Some of the things that the women were saying. The man, 561 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:23,200 Speaker 1: they were saying things like, oh my goodness, miss Love, 562 00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,680 Speaker 1: I'm so glad you decided to open up and talk 563 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:29,840 Speaker 1: about this, Auntie Sheryl this, and oh, we love you 564 00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:34,040 Speaker 1: for doing that. And one man was saying, how speaking 565 00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,720 Speaker 1: to Bobby saying, how, you know, I'm going to go 566 00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:39,360 Speaker 1: back to my wife because I didn't do half the stuff. 567 00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:47,960 Speaker 1: All people, that's right, look at this. But I said 568 00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:50,760 Speaker 1: there and I cried. I said, oh my god, I said, God, 569 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:53,680 Speaker 1: you're healing me right now. And it was just it 570 00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:56,080 Speaker 1: felt in my heart that this is a story that 571 00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:59,080 Speaker 1: needs to be told. You can't hide it. You know, 572 00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:01,320 Speaker 1: it's not to be it and it's to be let 573 00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:04,440 Speaker 1: the world know that for one thing, you have to forgive. 574 00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:07,000 Speaker 1: You have to forgive so that you can move on, 575 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:11,120 Speaker 1: you know, And we wanted we talked about that and 576 00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:15,400 Speaker 1: talked about you know, we're not gonna worry about the path. 577 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:18,800 Speaker 1: We're gonna just move on moving forward. That's what we're 578 00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:23,080 Speaker 1: gonna do. And um, that's what and that's what we're doing. 579 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:27,360 Speaker 1: That's what we're doing moving towards Yeah, how did your 580 00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:30,080 Speaker 1: faith and God help you along this journey? Oh my goodness, 581 00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:35,920 Speaker 1: that was just everything. So I was everything. There were times, 582 00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:38,360 Speaker 1: you know, I just cried out to God and I 583 00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:41,400 Speaker 1: prayed and I said, and you know, even before all 584 00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:46,080 Speaker 1: this stuff went down in I went to watch night 585 00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:48,680 Speaker 1: service and I watching you. I don't know if you 586 00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:53,040 Speaker 1: know what to watch night services, but that's before um 587 00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,479 Speaker 1: new New Year comes in pray and I just prayed 588 00:33:56,520 --> 00:34:00,240 Speaker 1: and I said, God, if things don't change with me 589 00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:04,440 Speaker 1: and Bobby, I said, something's got to change. Something just 590 00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:07,160 Speaker 1: has to change. And that's what I created. And I 591 00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:10,720 Speaker 1: could not stop crying in that service. I couldn't stop crying. 592 00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:14,120 Speaker 1: And I'm like, who, girl, get it together. But I 593 00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:17,960 Speaker 1: stopped crossing white people to see me cry, but this 594 00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:20,719 Speaker 1: I didn't. It was just like I couldn't stop it. 595 00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:24,439 Speaker 1: And so I just felt like, well, thank you Lord 596 00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:26,480 Speaker 1: for the new Year. We made it into the New 597 00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:29,200 Speaker 1: Year and everything. And I came home that night with 598 00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:30,960 Speaker 1: the kids. The kids want me. Bobby didn't go with 599 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:35,480 Speaker 1: me that night and he and um, you know, I 600 00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:38,319 Speaker 1: came and gave him kids and everything for happy New 601 00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:42,399 Speaker 1: Year's all of that, but low and behold. Twenty two 602 00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:46,840 Speaker 1: days later, here cops knocking at the door, and I said, 603 00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:52,000 Speaker 1: my god, look at this, look at this crazy. Yes, 604 00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:55,600 Speaker 1: I think about it. All is the whole thing, you know? 605 00:34:56,360 --> 00:35:00,320 Speaker 1: So well? I saw that either a movie or show 606 00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:04,719 Speaker 1: is in the works. Is that true? Well in the 607 00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:08,120 Speaker 1: words in the worlds. Yes, I can say about that 608 00:35:08,239 --> 00:35:12,200 Speaker 1: right now, though, I'm just curious. Who would you want 609 00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:18,800 Speaker 1: to play you? Oh? My goodness, so I love um? 610 00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:22,960 Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, getting me to her name? Don't my clockness? 611 00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:27,279 Speaker 1: She just went from me? But Lauretta Divine is Yes, 612 00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:31,960 Speaker 1: I love her, Okay, she's one. I love Alfree Wood. Yes, 613 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:36,240 Speaker 1: that's a good one. Yes, and my god, that's from um. 614 00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:38,520 Speaker 1: Oh I can't think of her name. And she wants 615 00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:41,239 Speaker 1: to play me as a matter of fact, Oh my goodness, 616 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:45,239 Speaker 1: the lady who um was with Viola Davis in the 617 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:55,359 Speaker 1: stories about the Maids. Oh my goodness, Oh no, no, no, um, 618 00:35:55,400 --> 00:36:02,759 Speaker 1: what's wrong with me? I know? Yes, yes, yeah, that's 619 00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:07,600 Speaker 1: a good one too. Yes, yes, so she's I really 620 00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:10,480 Speaker 1: like her. Yes, wait who do who do you want 621 00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:13,600 Speaker 1: to play? Bobby? I mean your husband? Well he wants 622 00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:17,640 Speaker 1: I think Sammy, I knew you was gonna say, I 623 00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:25,800 Speaker 1: know he loves him too, Yes, and loves Samuel L. Jackson. 624 00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:29,759 Speaker 1: Yes they do. And I'm like, I don't know who 625 00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:33,080 Speaker 1: else would. And then they said, um, the other guy. 626 00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:40,239 Speaker 1: I think his last name is Lyndo. Um oh yeah, yes, yes, 627 00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,640 Speaker 1: I'm having a brain part. I know exactly. Yes, me too, 628 00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:49,839 Speaker 1: black him M So I'm sure it is other guys 629 00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:52,200 Speaker 1: because we have a lot of like black actors and 630 00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:55,439 Speaker 1: things now. But um, yeah, he would be a good pick. 631 00:36:55,480 --> 00:37:00,880 Speaker 1: And Bobby's He's like, I want to Samuel, I know 632 00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:04,160 Speaker 1: your husband gotta be bragging because that story is just amazing. 633 00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:11,759 Speaker 1: Who would have ever thought into this? It's true, But 634 00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:14,280 Speaker 1: we just have to we just have to stay humble. 635 00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:18,239 Speaker 1: He's really humble, yes, but he got to get it 636 00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:23,719 Speaker 1: off sometimes now. List we do some jobs talking around here, 637 00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:27,520 Speaker 1: but but for the most were not for the most part, 638 00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:31,040 Speaker 1: for for everything, we are just so grateful and on 639 00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:36,520 Speaker 1: it and humbled, you know, yes, so last not least. 640 00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:38,880 Speaker 1: When people read your book, what is the biggest takeaway 641 00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:42,160 Speaker 1: you want them to receive from it? Honestly, I want 642 00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:46,319 Speaker 1: them to know forgiveness. That's the biggest thing with me 643 00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:50,440 Speaker 1: to know that it's always hope and there's a better. 644 00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:56,960 Speaker 1: It's always something better, always better. So yes, what'd you 645 00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:00,720 Speaker 1: do it all over again? I absolutely would. I would 646 00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:05,680 Speaker 1: m yes to get me to this point, I would, 647 00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:10,600 Speaker 1: I know, especially when Octavia's gonna be playing you out. 648 00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:16,960 Speaker 1: I did one more thing. H I know Deon is 649 00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:25,879 Speaker 1: so mad right now. I know he is kissed. Yes, yeah, 650 00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:27,880 Speaker 1: I gotta read the book who to see who Dan is? 651 00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:36,879 Speaker 1: But man, talk about a comeback, right? Oh? Man? Well, 652 00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:38,960 Speaker 1: I think you're still living in New York. So if 653 00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:42,160 Speaker 1: I never see you, I'm gonna run up on y'all 654 00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:47,200 Speaker 1: because I am in Brooklyn. So hopefully I get to 655 00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:50,120 Speaker 1: see y'all. Meet y'all soon, especially y'all do y'all premiere. 656 00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:54,600 Speaker 1: Oh look at that. That's too Oh well, you know 657 00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:57,960 Speaker 1: what we are going to talk after this, Okay, okay, 658 00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,680 Speaker 1: because I got to get my book signed and get 659 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:07,880 Speaker 1: my pencheon before y'all get real Hollywood. Absolutely absolutely, but 660 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,279 Speaker 1: I really appreciate you. I'm gonna also do a good 661 00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:13,040 Speaker 1: way with this book. So the first person who emailed 662 00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:15,920 Speaker 1: me a hello at the PSD podcast dot com please 663 00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:17,480 Speaker 1: make sure to hit me up, and I would do 664 00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:19,200 Speaker 1: a good way because this book was so good, like 665 00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:21,520 Speaker 1: it was just I think I even cried because it 666 00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:29,080 Speaker 1: was just to read. I'm so glad and it's like 667 00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:34,080 Speaker 1: a good quick read. Like keep going to so many 668 00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:36,520 Speaker 1: people and telling me, I just I could put it 669 00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:40,160 Speaker 1: down right at your church. She's like, I could not 670 00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:41,799 Speaker 1: put this book down. So you call me like three 671 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:45,520 Speaker 1: o'clock in the morning when she first Yeah, like it's 672 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:48,839 Speaker 1: like especially once he escaped, it's like what we're doing now, 673 00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:57,680 Speaker 1: what's going on now? But I appreciate you, thank you, no, 674 00:39:57,960 --> 00:39:59,640 Speaker 1: thank you. And to the listeners, if you have any 675 00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:02,239 Speaker 1: questions music conscernce, please make sure to email me at 676 00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:05,839 Speaker 1: hello at the PhD podcast dot com. And until next time, 677 00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:09,880 Speaker 1: everyone later later. I