1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:01,400 Speaker 1: This is the press show. 2 00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:05,160 Speaker 2: Dame is taking over Las Vegas this January for his 3 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:08,399 Speaker 2: seven night residency Adobe Live at Park MGM. And we've 4 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:10,720 Speaker 2: got a trip for two to the January twenty fifth 5 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:14,000 Speaker 2: show to night Hotel State at Park MGM January twenty 6 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:17,200 Speaker 2: fourth through the twenty six and round trip airfare. Text 7 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:20,279 Speaker 2: forever to three seven three three seven now for a 8 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:22,680 Speaker 2: chance to win. A confirmation text will be said. Standard 9 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:25,320 Speaker 2: message data rates may apply all thanks to Live Nation. 10 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 1: So a thirty four year. 11 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:31,160 Speaker 2: Old woman is demanding compensation from her ex boyfriend who's 12 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:35,159 Speaker 2: thirty eight, for what she says is stealing or I 13 00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:39,239 Speaker 2: guess did steal. He did steal her child bearing years. 14 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:40,120 Speaker 2: This is from. 15 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:44,600 Speaker 1: Fox and I'm not Fox News, So don't worry. 16 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:46,920 Speaker 2: I think this is it. You don't have to stop 17 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,760 Speaker 2: listening for him. Not that I would have anything to 18 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,000 Speaker 2: do with anything, but it's like as soon as I 19 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:53,360 Speaker 2: say Fox, I think people are like, oh no, Fox Local. 20 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,720 Speaker 3: The la four year old woman is demanding her ex 21 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:59,440 Speaker 3: boyfriend pay compensation, claiming he stole her child bearing years 22 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,000 Speaker 3: nearly a decade together. She says her thirty eight year 23 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,120 Speaker 3: old X into things just as she was ready. 24 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 1: To start a family. 25 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:07,000 Speaker 3: She said she put her career and her goals on 26 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:09,760 Speaker 3: hold believing they'd have kids, and now wants them to 27 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:13,320 Speaker 3: cover fertility treatments like egg freezing or IVF. The story 28 00:01:13,319 --> 00:01:16,000 Speaker 3: from The New York Post has gone viral, sparking a debate. 29 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:19,520 Speaker 3: Some call it justified, others say it's absurd to blame 30 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:22,160 Speaker 3: an ex Legal experts say her case wouldn't hold up 31 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:24,720 Speaker 3: in court, but it is raising some questions about love 32 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:28,039 Speaker 3: timing and who really pays the price when relationships in 33 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:28,880 Speaker 3: So what do you think? 34 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:29,720 Speaker 1: Does she have a point? 35 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:31,800 Speaker 2: Okay, so this is my question because this is kind 36 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:35,760 Speaker 2: of my demographic, Like I'm in my I guess mid 37 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:38,640 Speaker 2: forties now. I love how To and I say this 38 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 2: every time, but was supplying makeup. I'm sorry, distracted, I'm sorry. 39 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:48,240 Speaker 2: Oh okay, I just didn't want to get away. I 40 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 2: look over and there's this mess Scara, and I was, oh, well, 41 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:53,320 Speaker 2: this is for my very distracting to me. 42 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 1: Is that not mess Scarra? 43 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:54,720 Speaker 4: No? 44 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:57,520 Speaker 1: But I'll put it. What is it? It's eyebrow? 45 00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 5: Joe? 46 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:02,200 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, I pass it over here. I got none. 47 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:04,840 Speaker 1: I guess me too. Then I guess I feel now 48 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:08,240 Speaker 1: I feel left out. I need some eyeba because I 49 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:12,040 Speaker 1: can't move my arms, so get you somewhere. 50 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 2: Every time I say that, management's like, you know, you 51 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:17,359 Speaker 2: shouldn't say how old you are, Like, well, I've been 52 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:19,880 Speaker 2: here for sixteen years, so like, I don't know. I 53 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:22,120 Speaker 2: feel like people can do the math. I wasn't twelve 54 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:27,040 Speaker 2: when I got here, but whatever, So, you know, mid 55 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:30,400 Speaker 2: thirties is sort of it seems to be the appropriate age. 56 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:30,920 Speaker 1: I think for me. 57 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:33,640 Speaker 2: Maybe people would say, and I think that when I 58 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:37,640 Speaker 2: meet people who are in their mid thirties, if they 59 00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:41,840 Speaker 2: want to have kids, they're very understandably, I wouldn't say, 60 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:45,520 Speaker 2: well in various states of eagerness, I'll put it. 61 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:47,400 Speaker 1: But I understand why. 62 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 2: You know, it's like people kind of want to know, hey, 63 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:52,040 Speaker 2: where's this going pretty quickly if they want to have 64 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,680 Speaker 2: kids and don't have any. And it used to kind 65 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:56,400 Speaker 2: of annoy me, but then I really sat back and 66 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,000 Speaker 2: was like, well, no, I understand, like you there's only 67 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:00,839 Speaker 2: so much time, and yes, you can freeze your eggs. 68 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,440 Speaker 2: There's other things, but like just generally speaking, and yes, 69 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:05,800 Speaker 2: people are gonna text me, oh, well you can have 70 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:08,120 Speaker 2: a kid when you're fifty. Yes, I know, and people 71 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:10,120 Speaker 2: are gonna text me, well this and that. I'm not 72 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 2: talking about the exceptions. I'm just saying generally speaking, you know, 73 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,360 Speaker 2: early mid thirties or before people like to have kids, 74 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 2: I guess. And so if you're not sure, then that 75 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:23,560 Speaker 2: could be a problem, because what if you date somebody 76 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 2: for two or three years, four or five years even, 77 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:28,040 Speaker 2: and maybe you didn't freeze your eggs, then you get 78 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:29,919 Speaker 2: to a certain point where you're at an age where 79 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:33,120 Speaker 2: it would be more difficult to have kids safely. And 80 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,960 Speaker 2: then I mean, whose fault is that. I don't think 81 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 2: you can't blame it on in this case, the guy. 82 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:41,880 Speaker 2: But I also think that a guy should be thoughtful 83 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 2: about the fact that if that's something that you were 84 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:48,400 Speaker 2: absolutely wanting to do, and the dude, if he knows 85 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:50,840 Speaker 2: in his mind he absolutely doesn't want to do it, 86 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:52,760 Speaker 2: and he's not telling you that because he doesn't want 87 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,800 Speaker 2: you to go anywhere. That's wildly selfish. Now, should I 88 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 2: have to pay for your fertility? No, But like, let's 89 00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,120 Speaker 2: say that this person brought up over the course of 90 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 2: that relationship, I want I want to have I I 91 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 2: want to freeze my eggs and he's like, Noah, no, 92 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 2: you don't have to do that. 93 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,880 Speaker 1: Well, that's messed up too, because. 94 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,560 Speaker 2: Like that might be the only way, that might be 95 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:13,160 Speaker 2: one of the only ways that you could have a 96 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:16,000 Speaker 2: natural child, and and maybe oh yeah, I don't want 97 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:17,599 Speaker 2: the expense or I don't want to deal with the 98 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 2: you know, the process, because I know even though it's 99 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:24,040 Speaker 2: the woman who who endures most of that process, I mean, 100 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:25,839 Speaker 2: a guy can help. But it's like as far as 101 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:29,880 Speaker 2: all the different things that come with that, there's a dude. 102 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:31,920 Speaker 2: A dude who says, don't don't freeze your egg because 103 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:33,240 Speaker 2: you don't want to deal with it is the ultimate 104 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:36,160 Speaker 2: level of selfishness in my opinion. But I mean, does 105 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:40,200 Speaker 2: a guy Does a man hold any level of responsibility 106 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,320 Speaker 2: eight five, five, five, nine one one oh three five 107 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:44,200 Speaker 2: If he's dating a woman who wants to have kids 108 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:49,120 Speaker 2: in a certain demographic and and is not extremely vocal 109 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:52,680 Speaker 2: or extremely communicative about his intentions, does the guy hold 110 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:56,359 Speaker 2: any responsibility Perhaps not financially, but morally or ethically. 111 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:00,080 Speaker 1: You're saying, I. 112 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:05,840 Speaker 6: Almost want to say yes, only because a man will 113 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:07,400 Speaker 6: waste your time if you let him. 114 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,800 Speaker 1: And I'm big on that, and I know, yeah, No, 115 00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:11,000 Speaker 1: that's very true. It's very true. 116 00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:13,640 Speaker 6: But if you're a woman and you know you want 117 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,840 Speaker 6: kids or you know you want this, I do think, 118 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:18,720 Speaker 6: like in your heart, like you have to decide if 119 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:20,360 Speaker 6: this is something that you're gonna pursue or how long 120 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:21,720 Speaker 6: you're gonna stay in this. You don't have to like 121 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:23,719 Speaker 6: tell the world like you have tail years, but you 122 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:25,760 Speaker 6: can't say, like, I do want children, and like if 123 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,440 Speaker 6: that's not something you want or like we can do 124 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,680 Speaker 6: it by a certain time, then like then this might 125 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:32,120 Speaker 6: not be for me, this relationship, just because I don't know. 126 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:33,599 Speaker 1: I just feel like already, like I'm. 127 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:35,719 Speaker 6: A mom where I'm thirty three, I'm a mom of 128 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,240 Speaker 6: a one and a half year old, and I personally 129 00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:39,240 Speaker 6: like don't want children later. 130 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:39,800 Speaker 1: I only want one. 131 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 6: But I also don't want kids later in life because 132 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 6: this is so hard already. I feel like a team 133 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,160 Speaker 6: mom some days and other days I feel like a 134 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:46,920 Speaker 6: nan on because it's just like it's the hardest, most 135 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 6: exhausting thing ever. 136 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:50,800 Speaker 1: So for me, if hobby was like over here, like well. 137 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 6: I don't know, like I'm not gonna let a man 138 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:53,920 Speaker 6: anybody waste my time. 139 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,039 Speaker 7: Yeah, for me, it's more nuanced than just like a 140 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,240 Speaker 7: blanket yes or no. However, if I do think of 141 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,160 Speaker 7: a dude as like constantly telling you that that's what 142 00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:03,000 Speaker 7: he wants and that's what the plan is, then yes, 143 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 7: the same way that he would want me to respect 144 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:08,240 Speaker 7: him in that relationship, I would demand or I ask for, 145 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:11,400 Speaker 7: at least that respect in return of the second you 146 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:13,080 Speaker 7: know you don't want to do this with me. 147 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:15,039 Speaker 1: You know, you have to be transparent about it. 148 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:18,080 Speaker 7: Now, if a guy is never sure if he wants kids, 149 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:19,159 Speaker 7: then it's on the woman. 150 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 1: You're entering that at your own risk. You know what 151 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,880 Speaker 1: I mean, interrupt her. 152 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:26,640 Speaker 2: I don't mean to say to you. I hate the 153 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:29,760 Speaker 2: counter argument. You know, guys do this, we'll so do girls. 154 00:06:29,839 --> 00:06:31,560 Speaker 2: I hate that argument, but it is true. I mean, 155 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,720 Speaker 2: I've been in different types of situations where women are 156 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 2: biding time dealing with things, but they don't want me 157 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:38,080 Speaker 2: to go anywhere. 158 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,360 Speaker 1: So it's like, yes, this happens. 159 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 2: So people do waste each other's time that and they 160 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:44,080 Speaker 2: do it in dating, and they do it on the 161 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:46,920 Speaker 2: dating apps, and they do it in all forms relationships, 162 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:50,400 Speaker 2: marriage otherwise. So you know, but in this particular case, 163 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:53,800 Speaker 2: if a dude knows that he doesn't want to have 164 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:57,800 Speaker 2: kids or or in this case, apparently he said to her. 165 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,960 Speaker 2: This guy to his girlfriend, He tells me he feels 166 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,640 Speaker 2: at thirty eight as though he still has a decade 167 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,320 Speaker 2: of enjoying his lifestyle and powering through with his career 168 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 2: and is not ready for marriage and children. But he 169 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:11,920 Speaker 2: knows that it's become a priority for me, So he's off. 170 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:14,640 Speaker 2: So he broke up with her as a result of it, 171 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,600 Speaker 2: I guess, And now now you know she wants I 172 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,680 Speaker 2: guess compensation or something for this, which I have to 173 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:23,520 Speaker 2: be honest, based on that quote, it doesn't sound like 174 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:27,040 Speaker 2: he misled her. It just sounds it sounds like she 175 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:30,200 Speaker 2: always knew that and hoped that he would change his 176 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:33,160 Speaker 2: mind and heads to bets, and now she had a 177 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,120 Speaker 2: position where it's going to be a little bit more 178 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:39,200 Speaker 2: challenging and she's mad about it. That's kind of what 179 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:40,640 Speaker 2: it sounds like. I mean, I think if a dude 180 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:42,160 Speaker 2: is like, yep, I want to do it. I want kids, 181 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,680 Speaker 2: I want kids. I want kids. I want kids, and 182 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,760 Speaker 2: then you know, four or five years later, now I 183 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:48,680 Speaker 2: don't want kids. That's right, But I think you would 184 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:50,360 Speaker 2: have every right to be really upset about it. Now, 185 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:52,560 Speaker 2: do you get financial damages for that? I don't know why. 186 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 8: I wish you should right like you should, I have 187 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,320 Speaker 8: Like a lot of women waste their time in relationships 188 00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:00,520 Speaker 8: and men may not understand how important it is that 189 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:04,960 Speaker 8: time window. Like you have your child bearing years and 190 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,320 Speaker 8: you waste them with a guy who was just leading 191 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,080 Speaker 8: you on. But it doesn't seem like this guy was 192 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:10,960 Speaker 8: leading her on. It seems like he was clear about 193 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:12,800 Speaker 8: what he does want and what he doesn't want. And 194 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,320 Speaker 8: you can't stick around hoping somebody's going to change their mind. 195 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:15,840 Speaker 1: That's on you. 196 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:18,600 Speaker 2: Well, then you can say, well, guys, had you know, 197 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:20,560 Speaker 2: you know you can be Mick Jagger. You can have 198 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:22,680 Speaker 2: kids until you're eighty years old. 199 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 1: You can. 200 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:24,920 Speaker 2: But I suppose the same And here I go flip 201 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,840 Speaker 2: in the argument again, which I really don't like that 202 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:30,240 Speaker 2: as an argument tactic. But I mean, I could date 203 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:34,640 Speaker 2: someone for five years and then wind up being five 204 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:37,440 Speaker 2: years older than I wanted to be having kids, and 205 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,200 Speaker 2: then it turns out we don't have kids and break 206 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:41,640 Speaker 2: up and now I have to start over, which means 207 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:44,440 Speaker 2: a couple more years maybe to meet someone else, and 208 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:47,079 Speaker 2: then get to the point where so now I'm five six, seven, eight, 209 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:48,880 Speaker 2: ten years older than I wanted to be having kids. 210 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:50,000 Speaker 1: Now I'm a really old dad. 211 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:54,360 Speaker 2: I mean, so I it's not physiologically impossible for a man, 212 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,480 Speaker 2: but I still run the risk of it not lining 213 00:08:56,559 --> 00:08:59,920 Speaker 2: up with how I wanted my life to be. I 214 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,240 Speaker 2: can't sue for that, you know what I mean? 215 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:07,120 Speaker 1: I mean, on each other? Yeah, let's just each other time? 216 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:09,840 Speaker 1: So Eric, what's up? 217 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:10,120 Speaker 2: Eric? 218 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:11,400 Speaker 4: Hey? 219 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:11,960 Speaker 1: We doing? 220 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 2: Hey? 221 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:12,520 Speaker 9: Man? 222 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:14,800 Speaker 2: So what do you if a woman dates a guy 223 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:19,280 Speaker 2: in her mid thirties wants to have kids, and after years, 224 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,240 Speaker 2: you know, he decides, you know what, I don't want kids? 225 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:24,000 Speaker 2: And uh, even if he said he wanted kids previously 226 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 2: and then they break up, I mean, does he have 227 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:30,560 Speaker 2: any kind of moral or ethical or financial obligation? I mean, 228 00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:32,360 Speaker 2: I know this is kind of a ridiculous question, but 229 00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:36,480 Speaker 2: on the financial front, but like I mean, is he 230 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:39,360 Speaker 2: responsible in some ways for the position that she finds 231 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,360 Speaker 2: herself in late thirties and no kids. 232 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,640 Speaker 5: No, I don't think he old or anything financially, but 233 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:51,600 Speaker 5: you definitely morally, if someone wants kids and you don't, 234 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:54,560 Speaker 5: you definitely should let them know up front. If it's 235 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:59,240 Speaker 5: a situation where the two just split and she feels 236 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 5: that she wasted her time, then it's her choice to 237 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:08,400 Speaker 5: stay in that relationship. She definitely could have frozen her eggs. 238 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:10,760 Speaker 5: I think a woman has the right to do that 239 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:15,160 Speaker 5: without acting a guy, so she still had played a 240 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:15,559 Speaker 5: part in. 241 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:16,079 Speaker 1: It as well. 242 00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:18,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's interesting. I guess she very easily could have 243 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:22,280 Speaker 2: just gone ahead with that. And yeah, she didn't need 244 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,000 Speaker 2: him to say one way or the other weather she 245 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,920 Speaker 2: should or shouldn't do it, unless she was expecting him 246 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:28,040 Speaker 2: to pay for it for some reason. But yeah, I 247 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:30,840 Speaker 2: mean I've dated people who are in the process of 248 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,800 Speaker 2: freezing their eggs, who who did before, did right after. 249 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:35,680 Speaker 2: We I mean, that's something you don't need me for that, 250 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,960 Speaker 2: You don't need my certainly don't need my permission for 251 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:38,640 Speaker 2: that either. 252 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:45,240 Speaker 5: Exactly exactly, So, so he definitely should just go ahead 253 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:47,000 Speaker 5: and do that if you want to. But at the 254 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:50,480 Speaker 5: same time, though, I don't think he owes her anything financially. 255 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:55,040 Speaker 5: But definitely, guys don't hold up women. Yeah, if you 256 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:57,920 Speaker 5: know you want to have kids, just go for it 257 00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:58,560 Speaker 5: and do it. 258 00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:02,959 Speaker 2: All right, Eric, thank you have a day, lovely to 259 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,680 Speaker 2: I've walked from a lot of early situations that I 260 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:11,200 Speaker 2: never saw developed because it seemed that the she wanted 261 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:13,240 Speaker 2: kids so badly and I was unsure that I thought 262 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:16,040 Speaker 2: it was unfair, and so it's possible I could have 263 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:21,080 Speaker 2: changed my mind. But again, you know, I'm I'm respectful 264 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:23,080 Speaker 2: of the fact and aware of the fact that it 265 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,480 Speaker 2: only would become more difficult depending on your age. So 266 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,000 Speaker 2: like I'm holding you up in some ways. 267 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's not fair to her, No, But is. 268 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,960 Speaker 2: It worth ending a relationship that could have been I mean, 269 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:35,520 Speaker 2: was I a little maybe over sensitive to it on 270 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:39,480 Speaker 2: your behalf or was I a little reactive to it 271 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:41,320 Speaker 2: in some strength? And I'm not saying I'm a hero 272 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:43,439 Speaker 2: by any means, but I just mean, you know, did 273 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:45,840 Speaker 2: I wind up? Did we wind up not pursuing something 274 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,640 Speaker 2: that could have been great? And it could have led 275 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:51,320 Speaker 2: to that because I was concerned with with you not 276 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:55,600 Speaker 2: meeting your needs and being resentful to me for it. Hey, Jessica, Yes, Hi, 277 00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:57,760 Speaker 2: good morning. Final, Say what do you want to say? 278 00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:02,160 Speaker 10: I I I definitely think that there's some sort of 279 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:05,120 Speaker 10: case for holding them financially responsible. This happened to my sister. 280 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:09,240 Speaker 10: She was with a guy for eleven years from twenty 281 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:15,080 Speaker 10: four to thirty six, and he just up and left her. 282 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:16,679 Speaker 10: But the whole time they had talked about it, like 283 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:20,240 Speaker 10: she wanted multiple kids. He wasn't really into multiple kids. 284 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,640 Speaker 10: But yeah, we'll have at least one kid. Yeah, let's 285 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:25,200 Speaker 10: have kids. She's like, well, she had some health issues. 286 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:27,880 Speaker 10: Maybe I should freeze my eggs. Do you like that 287 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:28,440 Speaker 10: sort of thing? 288 00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:29,120 Speaker 8: No? 289 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,280 Speaker 10: No, well you know we're gonna we'll get into that. 290 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:34,000 Speaker 10: We'll get into that over and over and over again 291 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:37,800 Speaker 10: for years, and then just up and left her. And 292 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:41,320 Speaker 10: here she is now, like thirty seven years old, trying 293 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:44,040 Speaker 10: to start over again. She still wants kids, but now 294 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 10: you have to start over, you have to find a 295 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:49,040 Speaker 10: partner that you trust and like and all of these things. 296 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:50,760 Speaker 10: And now, because of those health issues, is she going 297 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:53,319 Speaker 10: to be able to have kids in what is now 298 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:57,680 Speaker 10: after thirty five considered a geriatric pregnancy, So it's they 299 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:01,320 Speaker 10: is really a hard situation. But definitely need to take 300 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:02,679 Speaker 10: that into consideration. 301 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,920 Speaker 2: Because Mary, he genuinely was on the fence and didn't 302 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:07,679 Speaker 2: want to. I mean, and I'm not defending him, I 303 00:13:07,679 --> 00:13:09,880 Speaker 2: don't know him, but maybe he was genuinely on the fence, 304 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,680 Speaker 2: didn't want to lose her, and then you find yourself 305 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:14,280 Speaker 2: at a point of no return, where it's now you 306 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:17,440 Speaker 2: look like a jacka but like you genuinely. Maybe he 307 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:20,360 Speaker 2: really didn't know, or maybe he hoped that he would 308 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,600 Speaker 2: come around to the idea. I think we all take 309 00:13:22,679 --> 00:13:25,760 Speaker 2: risks in dating and in relationships and on the dating 310 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:28,080 Speaker 2: apps and everything else, and I think, you know, unfortunately 311 00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:30,400 Speaker 2: this is a place that you can find yourself. But 312 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:33,000 Speaker 2: I think that the key is, you know, and I'm 313 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,800 Speaker 2: not saying your sister did anything wrong, but maybe she 314 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:37,800 Speaker 2: should have just proceeded with some of these backup plans 315 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:41,920 Speaker 2: on her own and did not and not wait for 316 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,320 Speaker 2: him to decide what she should or shouldn't do or 317 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:46,600 Speaker 2: or you know. It's almost like creating a backup plan 318 00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:48,719 Speaker 2: ahead of time by freezing your eggs. 319 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:49,400 Speaker 5: Right. 320 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:53,800 Speaker 10: But some people, I think, miscontrue that backup plan as 321 00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:58,760 Speaker 10: like disloyalty or you know, or not having faith in 322 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:02,720 Speaker 10: that relationship. And I think that's probably which is not 323 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,520 Speaker 10: right at all. But that's probably what he would have 324 00:14:05,559 --> 00:14:08,040 Speaker 10: thought and why he pressured her not all so much 325 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:11,160 Speaker 10: to not do those things, because then he thought, well, 326 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,080 Speaker 10: then why are you making a backup plan for not 327 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:13,760 Speaker 10: being with me. 328 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,280 Speaker 2: Oh, it's complicated, Jessica. Thank you have a good day. 329 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:22,080 Speaker 1: Yep you Cuba. You got a date mote multiple what so. 330 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:23,560 Speaker 2: That you wind up having a kid going on morey 331 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,320 Speaker 2: you don't know whose kid it is. 332 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:27,440 Speaker 8: You know who kid it is the one who wanted 333 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:30,040 Speaker 8: to have one, but you probably do. 334 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:34,080 Speaker 1: To date several. 335 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:37,000 Speaker 8: You know, I want to give it to somebody else. 336 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 2: You know what I was about to say here we 337 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:41,200 Speaker 2: are not solving the world's problems, and then Kiki says, 338 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:44,160 Speaker 2: so we're definitely not solving the way more. 339 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:48,480 Speaker 4: Fread show next right here, this is the Fread Show. 340 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:52,160 Speaker 2: Dame is taking over Las Vegas this January for his 341 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:55,400 Speaker 2: seven night Residents Adobe Live at Park MGM, and we've 342 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,720 Speaker 2: got a trip for two to the January twenty fifth 343 00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:01,320 Speaker 2: show to night Hotel State Park mg January twenty fourth 344 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:04,800 Speaker 2: through the twenty sixth and round trip airfare. Text forever 345 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,600 Speaker 2: to three seven three three seven now for a chance 346 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,000 Speaker 2: to win. A confirmation text will be said. Standard message 347 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,320 Speaker 2: of data rates may apply all thanks to Live Nation. 348 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,760 Speaker 1: Brust show is on What Stay or Go? She has 349 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:16,440 Speaker 1: a song. 350 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:23,800 Speaker 2: Dottium or like our boss is trying to like maneuver 351 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:25,920 Speaker 2: something and nope, I just went ahead and did it. 352 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:30,400 Speaker 1: Hi, Mary, how you doing? Hey, I'm okay. How are 353 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:31,080 Speaker 1: you guys doing. 354 00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:32,720 Speaker 2: I don't know how you can be just okay after 355 00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:34,880 Speaker 2: that new Hillary Duff song. But okay, that's fun, so 356 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,200 Speaker 2: whatever I mean, I'm all fired up. 357 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:38,600 Speaker 1: For me. 358 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,880 Speaker 2: It's like so yesterday all over again. Like it's just 359 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:44,240 Speaker 2: the same kind of feels. Nonetheless, what's going on with 360 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:47,400 Speaker 2: you and your husband? You guys are high school sweethearts. 361 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:50,680 Speaker 2: You've been together for twenty years, and he wrote us 362 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,200 Speaker 2: a note because you want to be on Stay or 363 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,720 Speaker 2: Go so that we can talk about you and decide, 364 00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:56,360 Speaker 2: you know, how you should live out the rest of 365 00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:58,600 Speaker 2: your life. So tell us at the end of this 366 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:02,760 Speaker 2: we will give you the path way to follow to 367 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:05,760 Speaker 2: live the rest of your life. Because everyone who comes 368 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:08,080 Speaker 2: on Stay Orgo agrees to do exactly what we tell them, 369 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:08,800 Speaker 2: So go ahead. 370 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:16,440 Speaker 1: Okay. So we openly talk about this all the time. 371 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:19,440 Speaker 9: We neither one of us have been with anybody else, 372 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:22,600 Speaker 9: and you know, since we've been together since high school, 373 00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:26,960 Speaker 9: and we talk about the fact that it's just been us. 374 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,880 Speaker 1: And we always talk about this. 375 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:34,760 Speaker 9: Okay, recently though, while we were talking about it like usual. 376 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:39,400 Speaker 9: He kind of shocked me because he asked if I 377 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:44,000 Speaker 9: would ever be interested in opening up our relationship. 378 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:45,840 Speaker 1: Why are you talking about? Like what is the context? 379 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:46,000 Speaker 4: Like? 380 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:48,400 Speaker 2: Is it just like, Oh, I wonder what it would 381 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:49,920 Speaker 2: be like since we've only been with each other, Like 382 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,640 Speaker 2: I wonder what other people you know? I wonder if 383 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,720 Speaker 2: it's different or is it like kind of in a center? 384 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:54,080 Speaker 1: Is it? 385 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:57,080 Speaker 2: Or is it coming you know, from your perspective because 386 00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,840 Speaker 2: you don't really know necessarily where it's coming from within him? 387 00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:02,920 Speaker 2: But for you, is it? Is it your curiosity? Like 388 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,600 Speaker 2: do you wonder, Hey, it could be better, it could 389 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:08,240 Speaker 2: be different, So you're satisfied, You're not You're not having 390 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:13,000 Speaker 2: this conversation because you're unfulfilled in some way. 391 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:13,399 Speaker 1: Yeah. 392 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:18,440 Speaker 9: I I honestly talk about it, and we joke about it, 393 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:21,480 Speaker 9: and I thought he was joking that he was actually 394 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:26,000 Speaker 9: being serious and it's It's not something I've ever considered, 395 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:30,440 Speaker 9: but I told him I would think about it, because 396 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:31,920 Speaker 9: what else am I going to say? 397 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:34,359 Speaker 2: Well, I guess for me, I'm just curious why that 398 00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,920 Speaker 2: conversation because you said earlier like that you guys talk 399 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:40,360 Speaker 2: about it a lot like the idea of and then 400 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:42,000 Speaker 2: and now all of a sudden, it's why you know, 401 00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:44,359 Speaker 2: one step further in that conversation. So I just wonder, 402 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:46,639 Speaker 2: is that I don't know what it's like to be 403 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:49,600 Speaker 2: with only one person, so I wouldn't even know how 404 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:51,840 Speaker 2: to have a conversation like that. But I I just 405 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:54,320 Speaker 2: I was curious, like what the impetus was. But nonetheless, 406 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:55,800 Speaker 2: this time he says. 407 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:57,639 Speaker 1: You, well, what if we what if we? Uh, you know, 408 00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,280 Speaker 1: what if I stepped out? What have you stepped out? 409 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,040 Speaker 2: I assume it's what he's talking about, like that you 410 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:03,680 Speaker 2: guys would individually go maybe do other things. 411 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:10,640 Speaker 9: Yeah, like maybe this would add to our relationship because 412 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:15,879 Speaker 9: we've been together so long and I just talked about it, 413 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,560 Speaker 9: But I really I don't want to share him. I mean, 414 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,919 Speaker 9: I feel stuck because I don't want to lose him, 415 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:25,120 Speaker 9: but I can't stay and tell him I don't want 416 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,720 Speaker 9: an open relationship, right, I mean. 417 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:28,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, you can. 418 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,040 Speaker 2: Like this is all very confusing to me, Like when 419 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:34,520 Speaker 2: I hear about situations where one person wants and believe 420 00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,320 Speaker 2: it or not, I know more than one person who's 421 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:40,520 Speaker 2: kind of secretly in an open relationship, and oftentimes he's 422 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:42,680 Speaker 2: only one person that really wants it, and the other 423 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:44,840 Speaker 2: one went for it because they wanted to appease their 424 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,560 Speaker 2: partner in some way even though they're very uncomfortable with it. 425 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:51,240 Speaker 2: In fact, at least two of the situations I'm aware of, 426 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:54,639 Speaker 2: the relationship is ending because the person was uncomfortable they 427 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:57,560 Speaker 2: did it anyway, and then that wound up being the 428 00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:59,720 Speaker 2: thing that sort of, you know, created the whole thing. 429 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,880 Speaker 2: It's like, well, I'll do this for you because maybe 430 00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:05,679 Speaker 2: adding some spice or some variety, maybe that adds some 431 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,720 Speaker 2: spice and variety to our lives or whatever. And it 432 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,240 Speaker 2: turns out, no, the person who didn't want to do 433 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:13,080 Speaker 2: it was always uncomfortable with it. So no, I don't 434 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:15,280 Speaker 2: think in the confines of a relations of a marriage, 435 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:17,960 Speaker 2: or any form of committed relationship, that you have to 436 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,240 Speaker 2: agree to something or risk losing someone. 437 00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:20,920 Speaker 1: But how do you. 438 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:22,600 Speaker 7: Stay knowing they want that the wholes that would be 439 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,000 Speaker 7: in the back of my mind for the rest of 440 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:24,720 Speaker 7: our relationship. 441 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,720 Speaker 2: But within relationships, don't people ask for a lot of 442 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:28,760 Speaker 2: things and maybe you do some of them and maybe 443 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:29,160 Speaker 2: you don't. 444 00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:29,679 Speaker 1: I don't know. 445 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,320 Speaker 2: I mean, do you get the idea that he's really 446 00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:34,359 Speaker 2: committed to this or is it just like he just 447 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:36,199 Speaker 2: threw it out there as a curiosity. And if you 448 00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,679 Speaker 2: were to say no, do you really believe that he 449 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,119 Speaker 2: would resent you if you said no? 450 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:44,919 Speaker 9: If I don't go along with it, I do feel 451 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:45,719 Speaker 9: like he would. 452 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,480 Speaker 1: This is really tough, you know. It's like I don't 453 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:50,320 Speaker 1: want to share him. 454 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,479 Speaker 2: You don't have to. My thing is I don't think 455 00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,160 Speaker 2: you don't have to agree to anything you don't want 456 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:55,440 Speaker 2: to do. And if he's going to leave you over 457 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:58,400 Speaker 2: this now all of a sudden, after twenty years. 458 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,280 Speaker 8: But he might cheat, you know what I'm saying, Like 459 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,840 Speaker 8: he's telling her he wants a variety, he wants to 460 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:05,600 Speaker 8: try to other things, and if she doesn't agree to it, 461 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:08,560 Speaker 8: she can run the risk of him cheating on hearing him. 462 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,040 Speaker 2: Or I would like to give him the benefit of 463 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:14,840 Speaker 2: the doubt and say that he's being transparent because he 464 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,560 Speaker 2: wants to do this something up and up, and if 465 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:19,119 Speaker 2: she says no, he'll respect his wife. I would like 466 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:22,600 Speaker 2: to believe that after twenty years, I feel like if 467 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,359 Speaker 2: he were going to cheat, he doesn't have to communicate anything. 468 00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:28,119 Speaker 2: He can just go cheat. So I don't know that 469 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:31,680 Speaker 2: one necessarily leads to another. I mean no, I would 470 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,640 Speaker 2: say that you have to protect your piece, and if 471 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:35,080 Speaker 2: you don't want to do it, then you say no. 472 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,719 Speaker 2: And if he cheats on you or leaves you, then 473 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,040 Speaker 2: I think that as painful as that would be, that 474 00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:41,639 Speaker 2: tells you absolutely everything you need to know, doesn't it. 475 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:45,160 Speaker 9: Yeah, I guess I just wanted to know if anyone 476 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,800 Speaker 9: had been with someone as long as we've been together, 477 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:51,480 Speaker 9: and if they experienced this, and if they went for 478 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,640 Speaker 9: it or it was a bad idea. 479 00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:56,280 Speaker 2: Okay, well let me take some whole calls. What to 480 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:58,040 Speaker 2: do is this is where it comes in. You don't 481 00:20:58,080 --> 00:20:59,159 Speaker 2: really have to do what we tell you. I mean, 482 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:02,520 Speaker 2: you should because we're used right, especially usually me. I'm 483 00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:05,560 Speaker 2: usually the most right, but because I'm the voice of reason. 484 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,919 Speaker 2: But but the thing is, there are people listening out there, 485 00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:10,520 Speaker 2: I'm sure who have been through something like this, and 486 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:14,280 Speaker 2: then who will call in and share their their perspective. 487 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:16,400 Speaker 2: So I'm going to take some calls have the radio. One, 488 00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:18,240 Speaker 2: thank you for listening. We wish you the very best 489 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:18,960 Speaker 2: and thanks for sharing. 490 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:19,200 Speaker 1: Two. 491 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:20,720 Speaker 9: Thanks guys. 492 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,400 Speaker 1: Eight five three five miles. 493 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:25,720 Speaker 11: Hi, good morning. 494 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:26,040 Speaker 9: Hi. 495 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:26,720 Speaker 1: So your theory. 496 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:29,439 Speaker 2: By the way, just to recap if someone's just joining in. 497 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:33,159 Speaker 2: This woman, Mary has been with her husband now for 498 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,480 Speaker 2: twenty years. They were high school sweethearts, so the entire 499 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,200 Speaker 2: you know, span of the relationship is twenty years they've 500 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,800 Speaker 2: only been with each other. And she had mentioned that 501 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,760 Speaker 2: they talk occasionally about what it would be like openly, 502 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 2: you know, to be with other people. And finally, in 503 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:47,639 Speaker 2: this one conversation recently, he said, well, what if we 504 00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,159 Speaker 2: just open the relationship. She doesn't want to do it, 505 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:53,480 Speaker 2: but she's afraid if she doesn't do it that he'll 506 00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:55,720 Speaker 2: leave her, there'll be repercussions or resentment or. 507 00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:56,280 Speaker 1: What do you think? 508 00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:01,800 Speaker 11: So from my understanding, age joked about it before. I 509 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:05,680 Speaker 11: think he stepped out of the marriage already. I really do. 510 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:06,399 Speaker 1: Based on what. 511 00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:11,239 Speaker 11: I mean. Here's the thing. If he brings it up 512 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:14,320 Speaker 11: here and there jokingly, I feel like it's not a joke. 513 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:16,919 Speaker 11: I kind of feel like he already stepped out of 514 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,840 Speaker 11: the marriage. And he keeps trying to push it to 515 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,639 Speaker 11: see like, hey, maybe do you want to give it 516 00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:25,679 Speaker 11: a try to kind of, you know, ease his guilt 517 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:28,920 Speaker 11: and maybe he wants to do it again. Twenty years 518 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:30,959 Speaker 11: together and you're bringing it up now. 519 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:36,360 Speaker 2: But do people telegraph their their I mean, I guess 520 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,520 Speaker 2: people project all the time, but I mean again, if 521 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,720 Speaker 2: he's willing to be that communicative about it, is he 522 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:43,439 Speaker 2: really telling on himself in that way? I mean, I 523 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:45,879 Speaker 2: feel like if you're going to really because I think 524 00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:47,800 Speaker 2: if you're going to cheat you, I don't have to 525 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,720 Speaker 2: tell you about it. I don't have to. I don't 526 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,479 Speaker 2: have to try. And I guess I could manipulate you 527 00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:54,800 Speaker 2: into it. But if I'm already doing it, then why 528 00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:57,480 Speaker 2: don't need your permission now to ease his guilt? 529 00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:00,439 Speaker 11: He doesn't need permission. It's a narcissistic thing where he 530 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,400 Speaker 11: feels like, I'm going to tell you a little bit, 531 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,959 Speaker 11: but not enough to rat on me, do you know 532 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:05,360 Speaker 11: what I mean? 533 00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:07,480 Speaker 2: So there's no way that this guy, after twenty years, 534 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,919 Speaker 2: actually respects his wife and is having an open communication 535 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:14,119 Speaker 2: about something that he would like to try and running 536 00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:16,119 Speaker 2: the risk that she says, no, there's no way, but 537 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:17,400 Speaker 2: that's possible. 538 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:23,359 Speaker 11: She needs to leave. I'm sorry, No, don't really sorry. 539 00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:27,080 Speaker 2: I'm just I'm playing devil's advocate here. I yeah, but yeah, 540 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,400 Speaker 2: I would like to believe after twenty years in open 541 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,760 Speaker 2: communication and it sounds like she admitted that they had 542 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:34,359 Speaker 2: a lot of communication about things that are sort of 543 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,840 Speaker 2: taboo topics. I'd like to believe that it's not that 544 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:38,879 Speaker 2: cut and dry. But all right, thank you, Maya, I 545 00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:40,840 Speaker 2: have a good day, me too. 546 00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:41,240 Speaker 12: Bye. 547 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:41,600 Speaker 1: Yeah. 548 00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:44,040 Speaker 2: I mean this is a pretty overwhelming thought that he's 549 00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:48,640 Speaker 2: already doing it. Hey, Shelley, Yeah, Hi, Hey, good morning. 550 00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:50,199 Speaker 2: You say go because he's already at it. 551 00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:54,160 Speaker 12: You know what, I think that he might have met someone. 552 00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:58,359 Speaker 12: I really do, And you know what, open herself, do 553 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,960 Speaker 12: what makes her heart feel good. You know, if she 554 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:04,920 Speaker 12: doesn't feel comfortable with it, go just just. 555 00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:05,480 Speaker 10: Let him go. 556 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think she has to agree to anything. 557 00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:12,520 Speaker 2: And I think if the relationship is if the relationship 558 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,480 Speaker 2: is contingent on her allowing him to be with other 559 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:18,720 Speaker 2: people or introducing other people into their relationship, then that 560 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,400 Speaker 2: relationship is highly fractured in my opinion. 561 00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,919 Speaker 12: In my opinion as well. And you know what, she 562 00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:27,639 Speaker 12: is never going to trust him after this. The trust 563 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:32,120 Speaker 12: line is broken. She's going to be miserable. She will 564 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,960 Speaker 12: be missing out on a great opportunity for herself. 565 00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:37,240 Speaker 2: Maybe, But I also don't want to encourage people not 566 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:39,720 Speaker 2: to communicate the things that they might want to do. 567 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,639 Speaker 2: And granted that's an extreme one, but I mean, wouldn't 568 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,280 Speaker 2: you rather that your partners say hey, I thought about this, 569 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:48,280 Speaker 2: or would you consider this rather than never talk about 570 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,240 Speaker 2: it and then keep it inside. 571 00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:54,000 Speaker 1: I mean, I mean, you know, I agree with the communication. 572 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:57,679 Speaker 12: I'm one hundred percent with the on communication, but my 573 00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:03,280 Speaker 12: opinion is her trust is now altered and she's not 574 00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:06,119 Speaker 12: going to trust him whether they communicate. She tells him no, 575 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:07,480 Speaker 12: she's always gonna wonder. 576 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:10,159 Speaker 1: Okay, fair enough, thank you, sheelly, have a good day. 577 00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:12,800 Speaker 10: Oh you too, bye, And I had a bunch. 578 00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:13,240 Speaker 1: Of calls to get to. 579 00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,600 Speaker 2: But like Paulina, so if Hovey comes to you and 580 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:17,840 Speaker 2: says he wants to do X y Z, whether it's 581 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:21,359 Speaker 2: an activity or a specific thing or bringing other people 582 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,320 Speaker 2: in or whatever, do you feel like, I mean, you 583 00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:24,960 Speaker 2: have a good marriage. Do you feel like if you 584 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:28,000 Speaker 2: say no, that that automatically means he'll just go do 585 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:29,920 Speaker 2: it with someone else, or do you feel like he 586 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:32,040 Speaker 2: would should be able to come to you and say, hey, 587 00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:33,800 Speaker 2: I'm thinking about this, this would be hot, and then 588 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,360 Speaker 2: you say no, and then all right, well that kind 589 00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:38,360 Speaker 2: of sucks, but then you're still married. 590 00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:41,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, that did happen to us, and it wasn't a 591 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,480 Speaker 1: question of like can we do this? It was just like, oh, 592 00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:44,920 Speaker 1: what do you think of something like this? 593 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:49,400 Speaker 6: My hot take on the like kind of essentially opening 594 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,639 Speaker 6: up your marriage, right, So like seeing other people My 595 00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:55,000 Speaker 6: hot take on that is like I would almost feel like, why, 596 00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:57,240 Speaker 6: like are you not satisfied with us in the bedroom? 597 00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,440 Speaker 6: Like I'm also a little insecure sized aar thinking a 598 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:01,560 Speaker 6: little deeper. I'm like, are you not shocked to me? 599 00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:03,040 Speaker 6: Like do you not want me? Do you not want 600 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,080 Speaker 6: this marriage? I get a little deep with it, Okay, 601 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:06,639 Speaker 6: So like it could be as simple as like I 602 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:08,800 Speaker 6: just want to, you know, spice things up, whatever the 603 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:11,280 Speaker 6: reasoning is for this couple, Like I would feel some 604 00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:13,640 Speaker 6: type of way, but I think, well, do you shut 605 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:15,600 Speaker 6: it down? And your partner's like, okay, that sucks, but 606 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:17,520 Speaker 6: it is what it is. I think that's like fine, 607 00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:19,680 Speaker 6: I don't think Hobby's going to go off and do things. 608 00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:21,000 Speaker 1: I don't see that. Yeah, I don't. 609 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,800 Speaker 2: I don't know that one leads to the other. But 610 00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:24,600 Speaker 2: I agree with you it might be hard to unring 611 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:25,080 Speaker 2: that bell. 612 00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,400 Speaker 1: It is it is, it is. It makes you kind 613 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,080 Speaker 1: of question like, Okay, like like, why would you want that? 614 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,840 Speaker 1: What would you just mean? And that's how I think, 615 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:33,800 Speaker 1: and I think a lot of women do. 616 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,560 Speaker 2: But I'm afraid that if you say, oh my god, 617 00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:40,520 Speaker 2: absolutely not, you've probably shut down all communication on that 618 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:42,560 Speaker 2: topic and maybe some others moving forward, like if you 619 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:45,199 Speaker 2: shame some and granted adding another person's different than I 620 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,359 Speaker 2: want to. I want you to do X y Z 621 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:49,800 Speaker 2: between the two of us. But you know, I guess 622 00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:52,639 Speaker 2: it's a tough spot to be in because depending how 623 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:55,159 Speaker 2: you answer, how you react, you know that could that 624 00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:59,320 Speaker 2: could really change trajectory of things. 625 00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:01,440 Speaker 1: Flip whatever? 626 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:01,280 Speaker 4: Right? 627 00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:05,800 Speaker 1: What's your name? All right? Radio? 628 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:06,119 Speaker 4: Now? 629 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:12,280 Speaker 2: When you called the radio station, Hey, Kim, I know 630 00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:13,720 Speaker 2: that you don't want to miss a word of the 631 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:16,720 Speaker 2: things that we're saying because they're usually you know, dead on. 632 00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:19,520 Speaker 2: But you can't have the radio one because this is 633 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:21,560 Speaker 2: his delay. Kim, what did you want to say? Good morning? 634 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:27,520 Speaker 4: So I think she should stay. Twenty years is a 635 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:33,440 Speaker 4: long time he's been talking and adding it as spice. 636 00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:38,240 Speaker 4: But you have to be very very confident in yourself 637 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,920 Speaker 4: and in your marriage. I've been married a very long 638 00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:47,239 Speaker 4: time and we have talked about it numerous times, and 639 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:52,840 Speaker 4: one time we went to Vegas and it happened. I 640 00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:58,159 Speaker 4: don't know if you're talking about an open relationship and 641 00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:04,439 Speaker 4: adding a person in it, But I don't think she 642 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:08,520 Speaker 4: should leave. I think he's talking to her. It's communication. 643 00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:11,600 Speaker 4: It doesn't mean that he's already done it. You guys 644 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:15,120 Speaker 4: are sitting there saying, oh, he's in it, he's doing it. 645 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:18,840 Speaker 2: I don't think some people are saying that. Tim, Yeah, 646 00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:22,960 Speaker 2: I don't think that necessarily means that he's done it. 647 00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:24,840 Speaker 2: I think it means he's curious about it. But which 648 00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:27,600 Speaker 2: could have its own problems. Kim, I have to be nosy. 649 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:29,639 Speaker 2: Was at the beginning of something that you guys started 650 00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:31,520 Speaker 2: doing in your relationship or was that just a one, 651 00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:32,200 Speaker 2: one off thing. 652 00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:36,320 Speaker 4: No, it was a one off thing, and we talk 653 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:40,800 Speaker 4: about doing it other times. But it's we thought about 654 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:45,640 Speaker 4: swinging way back in the day, probably be married ten years, 655 00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:50,080 Speaker 4: but it wasn't. It was something we said to each 656 00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:55,320 Speaker 4: other that added spice to our relationship. But I have 657 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:58,680 Speaker 4: to say, you know, I'm I trust him. I don't 658 00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:02,400 Speaker 4: think he would ever ever do something like that without me. 659 00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:06,160 Speaker 4: And that's where your relationship has to be. Yeah, it 660 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:13,840 Speaker 4: has to be where you're trusting even not swinging or open. 661 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:15,040 Speaker 1: Or one time. 662 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:18,400 Speaker 4: You guys have to trust each other. Yeah, and obviously 663 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:20,560 Speaker 4: they do, they're married twenty years. 664 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,600 Speaker 8: But Kim is down for it. Kim, you were down 665 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:26,320 Speaker 8: for this woman. She doesn't want to do it. 666 00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:28,560 Speaker 2: And she's what I don't know. And thank you for 667 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:30,400 Speaker 2: calling Kim. I appreciate you. Have a great day. What 668 00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:34,840 Speaker 2: I don't know is is, though, is there no Why 669 00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:39,760 Speaker 2: is she so trepidacious about saying no to him? 670 00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:40,280 Speaker 4: Like? 671 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:42,800 Speaker 2: Why is she so convinced saying no to him leads 672 00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:45,240 Speaker 2: to something bad? Like that's what That's the part of 673 00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:47,400 Speaker 2: this that's interesting for me is she I think she 674 00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:50,360 Speaker 2: should be able to say no and then okay, and 675 00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:52,160 Speaker 2: he can be disappointed, but that's the end of it. 676 00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:54,400 Speaker 8: But you you would think about this, like if your 677 00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:57,200 Speaker 8: partner came to you and had that request and you 678 00:29:57,280 --> 00:29:59,440 Speaker 8: said no. I know in the back of your mind 679 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,680 Speaker 8: you would be like, okay, but that's something she wants 680 00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:04,160 Speaker 8: to do, and you would think about that over and 681 00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:07,200 Speaker 8: over again, like I know I said no, but does 682 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:08,360 Speaker 8: that mean they're not going to do it? 683 00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:08,640 Speaker 1: Yeah? 684 00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:11,160 Speaker 2: Maybe, But if I say no and then we move 685 00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:15,960 Speaker 2: on from it, I hope that that our marriage continues 686 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,080 Speaker 2: and that we have a functioning relationship and all the 687 00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:19,880 Speaker 2: other things I get with you would mess with me. 688 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:21,920 Speaker 2: But I also I don't know that I would assume 689 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:23,560 Speaker 2: it's already happening. I don't know that I would assume 690 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:26,120 Speaker 2: everything's over. I'd like to believe people can say a 691 00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:28,000 Speaker 2: lot of things in a marriage and they're not just. 692 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:29,520 Speaker 1: Gonna leave when you don't agree with it. 693 00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:29,880 Speaker 12: Yeah. 694 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,640 Speaker 8: No, But having you know another person is a different 695 00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:34,600 Speaker 8: type of thing. But I wish I could be like Kim. 696 00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:36,760 Speaker 8: You know, Kim was down. She's like, let's go to Vegas, 697 00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:39,640 Speaker 8: let's get it off. That's how you want it to be. 698 00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:41,120 Speaker 8: You want to be on the same type of time 699 00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:43,280 Speaker 8: with your partner. But if one of you is like, 700 00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:44,720 Speaker 8: oh no, I don't want to do it, then that 701 00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,040 Speaker 8: leaves the other person like, man, I really want to 702 00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:47,400 Speaker 8: do this. 703 00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:49,240 Speaker 1: But I will tell you this much, Kiky. 704 00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:51,240 Speaker 2: In one hundred percent of the examples that I'm aware of, 705 00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:54,440 Speaker 2: and it's more than one, one of the people didn't 706 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,720 Speaker 2: want to do it but gave in to a piecy 707 00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:59,400 Speaker 2: other person and it still didn't work. Because I don't 708 00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:01,600 Speaker 2: know that that's thing that you I feel like you're 709 00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:03,959 Speaker 2: either into it or you're not, and if you're not, 710 00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:06,560 Speaker 2: I don't know that you can be convinced by actually. 711 00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:09,440 Speaker 1: Doing it, so that's a tricky one. No, we didn't 712 00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:10,360 Speaker 1: solve this person's problem.