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Speaker 1: Okay, hi everybody. Oh, welcome to what is the name

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Speaker 1: of this podcast again, dear Chelsea is what it's called. Welcome?

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Speaker 1: Hi Catherine, Hi, Hi. I noticed your hair is all

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Speaker 1: pink today. It is, It'll be a different color tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: I don't understand how you get away with dyeing your

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Speaker 1: hair so many different colors and then your hair remaining

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Speaker 1: on your head. If I did that to my hair,

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Speaker 1: I would have no hair. It's actually a color depositing conditioner,

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Speaker 1: which is great, so it actually makes a nice and

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Speaker 1: healthy and soft and yeah, it looks very shiny and silky.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. Your husband must really really like running his

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Speaker 1: fingers through your hair, you know. I actually asked him recently,

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Speaker 1: of all the colors of hair I've had, I've had teal, pink, purple,

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Speaker 1: all kinds of things. I said, of all the colors

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Speaker 1: I've had, what's your favorite? And he said brown, very pointedtly,

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Speaker 1: so you know, but he loves me anyway, So you

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Speaker 1: dyed pink. That's nice. Good for you, Good for you. Well.

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Speaker 1: We have a very very special guest today. We are

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Speaker 1: actually recording this out of New York City because I'm

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Speaker 1: on tour with my lover Joe Koy, who was performing

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Speaker 1: all weekend in various parts of the Eastern Seaboard. Well, Albany,

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Speaker 1: we started in that's not really the Eastern Seaboard, but

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Speaker 1: it's part of the East Coast. Then we went to Portland, Maine,

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Speaker 1: where he had a show, and then we ended it

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Speaker 1: at the King's Theater in Brooklyn last night, which was

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Speaker 1: fucking awesome and a beautiful old theater and he crushed it.

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Speaker 1: And I did guess That's all weekend with him, which

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Speaker 1: was super fun. And yeah, I've been talking about him

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Speaker 1: a lot recently, so I thought there would be no

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Speaker 1: better way to start season two of my podcast than

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Speaker 1: to bring my paramore on with me and discuss our

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Speaker 1: beautiful love story. Honey Bunny, Hi, Joe Koy, Oh, I

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Speaker 1: love you in uh well, I thought it would be

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Speaker 1: nice to share with my listeners since you know, I

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Speaker 1: always I'm talking about how fucking stupid and annoying men are,

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Speaker 1: and I know a lot of people think I hate men,

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Speaker 1: but that's really not the case. I hate a very

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Speaker 1: as Joe actually put it, I hate do you want

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Speaker 1: to finish it? I hate a very specific kind of guy, right,

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Speaker 1: finish it? No, he doesn't want to finish it. He

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Speaker 1: just because there are certain things that only you can say. Well, no,

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Speaker 1: you're a guy, so you can kind of you can.

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Speaker 1: I can say whatever I want. And you're also Filipinos,

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Speaker 1: so you can say whatever you want right now. This

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Speaker 1: is this is your free zone right now. Yeah, how's

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Speaker 1: my opportunity. But you said somebody was talking about me

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Speaker 1: on something you did, and I heard you say. They said,

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Speaker 1: doesn't Chelsea Handler hate white men? And you said, no,

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Speaker 1: she hates a very specific kind of white man. So

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Speaker 1: and I don't hate them, but I dislike them a

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Speaker 1: great deal. But I'm so excited to be with a

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Speaker 1: man that I don't hate, is what I'm saying, and

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Speaker 1: that obviously this is very helpful for all of our

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Speaker 1: listeners who probably agree with me or feel the same

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Speaker 1: way I do about men, which is a little bit

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Speaker 1: hopeless and a little bit frustrated that there isn't a

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Speaker 1: better selection. And then I found out that the best

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Speaker 1: selection was just standing right in front of my face,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't even notice it for a really long time.

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Speaker 1: And I know you know you did. Well, I know

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Speaker 1: that's your version of things. Why don't you actually tell

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Speaker 1: your version. That's actually the best version. It's my version.

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Speaker 1: I'm excited to hear it. Why don't you extrapolate that

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Speaker 1: on that, honey, your version of since since let's take

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Speaker 1: people back in case they're not familiar with the fact

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Speaker 1: that we've known each other for a very long time. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we we've known each other for very long months seven months,

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Speaker 1: seven months, eighteen years, eighteen years, sixteen years, vague. Joe

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Speaker 1: has a lot of memories. Let's be honest. Joe has

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Speaker 1: a lot of memories that I do not recall. Hers

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Speaker 1: are lost. She she had them and then she lost them.

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Speaker 1: I have a six month memory. I think the furthest

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Speaker 1: you go back is eight hours and then everything's a blur.

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Speaker 1: She's like, what happened at midnight? No, that's not true, honey.

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Speaker 1: First of all, wait, first, well, let's start this just

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Speaker 1: what makes what makes me sad is that you don't

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Speaker 1: remember any of the things that I remember in my head.

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Speaker 1: In my head, it's just it's such a beautiful story.

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Speaker 1: And then when I'm finished telling you, you go, really

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Speaker 1: that happened. It's a cute story though, Because so Joe

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Speaker 1: was on my show Chelsea lately, my very old show

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Speaker 1: that I had for seven or eight years and which

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Speaker 1: was super fun. We had a lot of fun on

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Speaker 1: that show, and we had a lot of comedians on

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Speaker 1: that show, and show was like one of the top

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Speaker 1: comedians that was always on because he always delivered, and

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Speaker 1: he was always funny and always sweet, and we had

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Speaker 1: a good repartee going all the time. You interpreted that

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Speaker 1: as a sexual flirtatious not gonna do this is exactly

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Speaker 1: for a really long time, honey, and the world had

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Speaker 1: a crush on you know, you had a very specific

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Speaker 1: crush on me. We had good chemistry. Our chemist, she

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Speaker 1: was amazing, Yes, and you thought that chemistry was sexual,

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Speaker 1: And never did I ever say that. I thought it

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Speaker 1: was comedic. Katherine, are you listening to this? Katherine's listening.

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Speaker 1: She's a producer. She has to listen, whether she wants

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Speaker 1: to or not. No, that's not how it went down.

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Speaker 1: We just had our chemistry was so good. Yes, that's

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Speaker 1: our banter was organic, It was genuine, and I think

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Speaker 1: the fans saw that. I think everyone knew that right

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Speaker 1: whenever I was on the panel, they knew that Chelsea

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Speaker 1: and I were going to go at it and it

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Speaker 1: was going to be fun. Yeah, it wasn't gonna be scripted, right,

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Speaker 1: But it was abusive on my end, very abusive. I

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Speaker 1: abused you. Hey, but you know what, that's what therapies for, therapy.

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Speaker 1: But what you mean you being on the show was

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Speaker 1: like therapy getting abused by me. No, no, going after

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Speaker 1: the show. I was going to therapy after the show

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Speaker 1: do but about ten years. But no, I was abusive

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Speaker 1: with him, But that's kind of it was fun. Well,

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Speaker 1: it was fun for you because you have a great

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Speaker 1: attitude about everything, honey, especially with regard to me. In retrospect,

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Speaker 1: I realized said it was abusive in a very schoolyard

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Speaker 1: playground kind of way, which when the girl has a

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Speaker 1: crush on the kid on the guy, and that's what

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Speaker 1: it was, just like had a crush. Okay, well okay,

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Speaker 1: I didn't know if I had a crush on you.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know about it. But if you believe that's true,

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Speaker 1: what's happened so far in our relationship is that Joe's

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Speaker 1: version of things eventually becomes my version of things because

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Speaker 1: I eventually capitulate And wait, are you saying I'm manipulating you?

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Speaker 1: Is peple? You have a narrative which is always positive

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Speaker 1: sunshine and roses and that eventually I just get on

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Speaker 1: board with your narrative. And I tell Katherine, what you

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Speaker 1: think I did? This was a plan, Okay, let me

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Speaker 1: tell you there's an outline to this eighteen year strategy

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Speaker 1: that I've done. This was all strategically planned, put together

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Speaker 1: a timeline. Joe had a vision board, okay, and he

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Speaker 1: had and then he manifested all of this exactly. And

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Speaker 1: so there was a trip to Hawaii and then there

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Speaker 1: was a picture of Chelsea right next to it. So

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Speaker 1: let's just say the trip to Hawaii crossed out eighteen

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Speaker 1: years ago. I'll tell you my version of it because

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Speaker 1: it's really cute. And and again, I just want women

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Speaker 1: to understand, like if I fell in love with somebody

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Speaker 1: and I and I feel this way and I'm so

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Speaker 1: excited and like committed and devoted, then I really do

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Speaker 1: believe that there is a lid for every pot, and

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Speaker 1: that that's not the most romantic way to frame it,

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Speaker 1: but I do believe that like women shouldn't ever. First

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Speaker 1: of all, you should never be desperate about meeting somebody,

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Speaker 1: because that's not how you meet somebody. You should just

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Speaker 1: make sure you're keeping your eyes open with a the

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Speaker 1: people who are already in your life and be the

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Speaker 1: people that you may not look at that way or

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Speaker 1: think of that way, but you do really have a

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Speaker 1: lot of respect and caring for because those feelings can

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Speaker 1: develop it to something else. And I thought for sure

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Speaker 1: that would never happen to me because truthfully, I felt

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Speaker 1: like you were like, you know, brother energy, Which is

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Speaker 1: funny because you do have my brother's energy, my brother

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Speaker 1: that passed away. You have a lot. He is a

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Speaker 1: lot of similar qualities that my brother had. So in

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Speaker 1: many ways, like I just feel so completely safe and

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Speaker 1: I feel like, oh, this is family. Like I I've

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Speaker 1: always felt that way about you, that your family. I

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Speaker 1: just didn't want to suck you before. But so what

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Speaker 1: happened was so Joe had a book called Mixed Plate

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Speaker 1: that was being released before the pandemic, right right before

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Speaker 1: the pandemic. Yeah, so bad timing, actually bad timing. So

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Speaker 1: please get yourself a copy of Mixed Plate, okay, and

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Speaker 1: then send it to us and we'll both sign it.

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Speaker 1: And he asked me for a blurb, right, He texted me,

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Speaker 1: I hadn't heard from you in years, right, years? Years?

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Speaker 1: I said, of course, and he sent me the book

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Speaker 1: and read it in a day, like she always does

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Speaker 1: with books. She has a library stored inside her brain.

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Speaker 1: And that's the truth. You always have a different book

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Speaker 1: with you and like the next day it's like another book,

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Speaker 1: another you'd ripped through. I did a quote that Bert

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Speaker 1: Chrisher sent me a quote, right, just like this motivating,

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Speaker 1: motivational quote. You know, you don't do quote, you read

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Speaker 1: a quote. Just let me finish this, okay, and then

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Speaker 1: you'll be right for the rest of the show. Okay, okay.

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Speaker 1: And then so he sent me this quote. I read

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Speaker 1: it to Chelsea and then she knew exactly who the

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Speaker 1: quote was from. And it's just like that stats who

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Speaker 1: Chelsea is? Mary Anne Williamson. It was a Mary Anne

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Speaker 1: Williamson quote, and you know she I read it, and

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Speaker 1: by the way, the way I read is not good,

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Speaker 1: So for her it's not understanding what I was saying.

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Speaker 1: If anyone in this relationship is going to read something,

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Speaker 1: it's going to be me. Hey, han, I already already

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Speaker 1: told the world I can't read. Okay, you don't have to.

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Speaker 1: You have so many other childs you can read. Just

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Speaker 1: you know, yeah, you can not. Well, that's not Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's well, actually that was good. Well anyway, back to

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Speaker 1: my literacy, but no, and then I asked her for

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Speaker 1: the quote and then she goes, Okay, I'm gonna write

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Speaker 1: this for you. Excellent. Yeah, she wrote this amazing quote.

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Speaker 1: And then he texted me and he said, can I

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Speaker 1: call you? And I said, not if you're going to

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Speaker 1: hit on me? Do you tell what I really said?

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Speaker 1: You said, because you go, I go, can I text you?

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Speaker 1: And then you go, not if you're trying to fuck me?

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Speaker 1: And then I go, God, Chelsea, do you think everyone

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Speaker 1: just wants to funk you something like that? I don't

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Speaker 1: think you wrote that, but you said, God Chelsea, And

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Speaker 1: of course you know I have stood good go through

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Speaker 1: our text chains for the and finding that one. Okay,

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Speaker 1: any anyway, so then we started talking. You started calling me,

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Speaker 1: and then you came over to my old house one night.

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Speaker 1: We hung out. We got stoned, and we laughed on

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Speaker 1: my couch. But it was COVID times, so we definitely

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Speaker 1: kept our distance until we hugged. Well we hugged, but

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Speaker 1: we had masks on. So we hung out at my

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Speaker 1: house and we had a great time, really fun, right,

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Speaker 1: We laughed our asses. He bought me a product little person.

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Speaker 1: I said, you could take that right back, because I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm not going to wear a purse that

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Speaker 1: says product on it. I don't like labels like that.

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Speaker 1: And you were offended, of course, But we had a

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Speaker 1: fun time anyway. And then I went to Whistler for

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Speaker 1: three four months and then we faced times all the

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Speaker 1: time because you were up my ass. Well, I was

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Speaker 1: in Whistler and you were so excited about my skiing

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Speaker 1: and you were jealous of the skiing, right, and yeah,

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Speaker 1: he's skied and then he's skied in Vegas, so that's

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Speaker 1: a different kind of skiing. But skiing it's snow and

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Speaker 1: then there's okay, so it's skiing difference. What am I

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Speaker 1: skiing down sand dunes? I don't know, are you? But

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Speaker 1: it's an indoor skiing in Minnesota. It's it's not, No,

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Speaker 1: it's outdoor. It's on a mountain. You thought was that

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Speaker 1: cir circus just going down black Diamonds. Anyway, that happened,

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Speaker 1: and then you sent me a bunch of flannels which

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Speaker 1: were really cute because my brother chat that I talked

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Speaker 1: about in my book, and we've talked about on this podcast.

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Speaker 1: Used to wear flannels all the time, and even when

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Speaker 1: he passed away, I remember I would go into his

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Speaker 1: closet and he had this like curtain in his closet

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Speaker 1: and I would go in there and just smell all

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Speaker 1: his shirts because his smell never really went away. And

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Speaker 1: then Joe wears flannels all the time. But I never

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Speaker 1: really made that connection. But there is very something warmth

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Speaker 1: warming to me about a man in a flannel. Her

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Speaker 1: compliments always came to me, and I didn't realize it

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Speaker 1: until like later when we started getting serious. But every

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Speaker 1: time I put on a flannel, she would always compliment me. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she'll be a whistler and I'll be in Vegas and

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Speaker 1: I'd have my flannel ones and she goes, oh, you

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Speaker 1: look good in that flannel. You should wear flannels more

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Speaker 1: more often. But we were just friends talking. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but you were in love with me at that point,

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Speaker 1: probably right, did you? Were you? Honey, tell the truth.

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Speaker 1: You can tell the truth. I mean, we're just doing

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Speaker 1: a podcast. I mean, of who wouldn't, well, a lot

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Speaker 1: of people wouldn't, but you, you know, I've always loved

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Speaker 1: You're so cute. I told you, Yeah, of course, you know.

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Speaker 1: And one thing that I treasure the most with Chelsea

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Speaker 1: is her friendship because she's such When when you get

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Speaker 1: Chelsea to be your friend, it's going to be the

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Speaker 1: most solid friend you'll ever have. So you want to

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Speaker 1: secure that, you know. So I always wanted to make

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Speaker 1: sure that she was happy, and and I just wanted

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Speaker 1: to secure our friendship because I loved it so much,

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Speaker 1: so I didn't want to do anything wrong. Yeah, you

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Speaker 1: want to spoil the friendship, Yeah, because I'd rather have

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Speaker 1: her with me as a friend forever than trying to

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Speaker 1: make something happen for a weekend. That's not worth it

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Speaker 1: to me. What was it that pushed you kind of

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Speaker 1: over the edge into romantic feelings? That's when she roofed me.

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Speaker 1: Would never waste roof you had an other person. I

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Speaker 1: would only give that to myself. Yeah, it's when she

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Speaker 1: roofied herself. I was in Whistler for three months. Then

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Speaker 1: he was coming to Vancouver because Steven Spielberg saw Coming

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Speaker 1: in Hot on Netflix, one of his three specials on Netflix,

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Speaker 1: and he gave him a movie called Easter Sunday, which

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Speaker 1: comes out next year April one, which is fucking awesome.

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Speaker 1: So he I was in Vancouver, but it was at

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Speaker 1: the height of COVID, so nobody could come in and out.

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Speaker 1: So even though he was going to come and ski

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Speaker 1: if he could, we couldn't do that. So then he

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Speaker 1: was filming his movie and he's like, oh, come down,

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Speaker 1: you can have a role in the movie. And I

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Speaker 1: was like, Oh, that would be so much fun. But

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Speaker 1: it didn't work out because I was leaving Whistler and

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Speaker 1: then I would have had to come back to Vancouver

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Speaker 1: where he was shooting his movie and quarantined for another

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Speaker 1: two weeks. And at that point I was quarantined out

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Speaker 1: and we weren't in love yet, so I didn't She

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Speaker 1: wasn't willing to do that until I didn't. Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: I'll regret that because the movie is going to be

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Speaker 1: so awesome and I saw the trailer and he's seen

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Speaker 1: the movie and it's gonna be awesome, and Tiffany Hattis

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Speaker 1: is also in it and a bunch of other and

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Speaker 1: it's just a great representation of Filipinos and it's fucking

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Speaker 1: funny and it's got heart and all of the things.

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Speaker 1: So then I didn't do that movie. So we didn't

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Speaker 1: see each other for about four months other than face time, right,

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Speaker 1: and then we started hanging out when we were home.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I guess it was very organic. I remember

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Speaker 1: the minute we both got to l A, we were like,

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Speaker 1: let's go to dinner. You picked me up at one,

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Speaker 1: and then that would turn into like a seven hour

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Speaker 1: margarita festival. I don't know if you know this, Catherine,

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Speaker 1: but before she was dating me, bed time for Chelsea

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Speaker 1: was five forty in the afternoon, so she was done

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Speaker 1: at Jamas at six, seven at seven, and then New

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Speaker 1: York times at four am and then starts again. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I went through a phase where I went to bat

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Speaker 1: it around eight and woke up at around five, and

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Speaker 1: that lasted through all of ski season. And then when

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Speaker 1: I came home for a little bit, then I started

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Speaker 1: hanging out with you, and that changed my schedule. I

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Speaker 1: went from lunch to like lunch to coffee, and then

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Speaker 1: lunch coffee, what are we having for dinner? And then

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Speaker 1: it went from lunch coffee, dinner to let's have a

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Speaker 1: drink and now at midnight. Yeah, now we're just spending

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Speaker 1: time with each other and I go to bed. Now

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Speaker 1: at what time do we go to bed? Last night

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Speaker 1: at three o'clock in the morning. That's a real radical shift. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: no kidding. So there's not a lot of compromise going on.

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Speaker 1: It just feels like I'm adapting. I just want to

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Speaker 1: tell everybody that I traveled on a tour bus this

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Speaker 1: week and we flew to New York. We took a

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Speaker 1: tour bus with seven other guys. I love you. I

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Speaker 1: have a great crew, Katherine. I really do have a

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Speaker 1: great crew. Like we're we're a team, like legit a team.

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Speaker 1: We all have great roles. And I can't do anything

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Speaker 1: without these guys. I really can't. They're all great. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they are good, and they're not assholes and they're not

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Speaker 1: BROI They're just all good human beings. The point being

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Speaker 1: is that I slept on a tour bus for you,

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Speaker 1: which is something that I hoped that would never happen

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Speaker 1: to She said that to me, She goes, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: tour bus not gonna work. Yeah. Everything I've told him

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Speaker 1: that I wasn't gonna do, I've done. And now I

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Speaker 1: guess what she said yesterday, Katherine that she goes, I'll

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Speaker 1: just leave this shirt here and the shoes on the bus.

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Speaker 1: So now she has her own closet on the bush. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and so that's the story, baby, Yeah, it was. It

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Speaker 1: was kind of cool how you didn't answer Katherine's question though,

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Speaker 1: So when did you? You said organically, but you never

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Speaker 1: gave a straight answer. But when you started having romantic

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Speaker 1: feelings towards me, well, I mean other than always having them.

336
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Speaker 1: I had to make the first move because I knew

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Speaker 1: Joe respected me too much and was never going to

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Speaker 1: do anything. We'll tell her what happened in Vegas? Well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: Vegas is when I was like I would love yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: because you know, she was beautiful on stage. I was

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Speaker 1: performing at the Mirage and he came to see me,

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Speaker 1: and we had been hanging out all that whole week,

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Speaker 1: and every day was just like a romantic comedy, watching

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Speaker 1: people like frolic around Santa Mat come and knock on

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00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:07,200
Speaker 1: our door and then been waiting for you. And did

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00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:11,840
Speaker 1: you hear that Harmony thinks I can sing a dance.

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00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:13,480
Speaker 1: That's how much he loves me. He can't even see

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Speaker 1: me clearly or hear me clearly. Um he uh. It

349
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,360
Speaker 1: was after a lot of hanging out and a lot

350
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Speaker 1: of really fun times, like we would just laugh our

351
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Speaker 1: asses off and be silly and stupid, and you know,

352
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,320
Speaker 1: end up at the pier playing air hockey or in

353
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Speaker 1: my house playing ping pong, or how about you getting

354
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Speaker 1: a little hammered. Yeah, and then not having a house key,

355
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Speaker 1: right right? Oh that was good one night. And then

356
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Speaker 1: you tell me that you left the purse. We heard

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Speaker 1: that story. I think I've told that story repeated. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think I did. I think that was a very

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Speaker 1: story pivotal moment right there. Pivotal, Yeah, why because that

360
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,760
Speaker 1: was a night where you know, like I didn't know

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Speaker 1: what was going on with you. I dropped you off.

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Speaker 1: I thought you had a key. I saw you like

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Speaker 1: I always sure someone gets to the door. I always

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00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:05,399
Speaker 1: do that and the door. No, but I saw you

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Speaker 1: go to the door. So then when I saw her

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Speaker 1: go to the door, she's got a bunch of trees

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Speaker 1: by the way, so I saw a silhouette of her

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Speaker 1: going to the door. And then so I hurried up

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Speaker 1: because I had to hurry up and get back to

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Speaker 1: Santa Monica before the bar closed, because she said I

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Speaker 1: left my purse there. So I just hurried up, raced

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Speaker 1: over to Santa Monica, and as I'm going there, she goes,

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Speaker 1: where's my key? I'm like, what do you mean, where's

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Speaker 1: your key? And she goes I'm locked out. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, let me go get your person. I'll

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00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:35,600
Speaker 1: be back. So I went look for the She didn't

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00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:38,520
Speaker 1: tell you this part, did she? Well, I'm looking for

378
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Speaker 1: the first for an hour, asking a bunch of people

379
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:44,239
Speaker 1: if they stole her purse, asking security, I go, you were,

380
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:45,760
Speaker 1: And then there was a group of people that were

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Speaker 1: sitting at the booth next to us, and then when

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Speaker 1: we left, now they're sitting at our booth. So I'm

383
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,280
Speaker 1: now I'm like, did you guys see a purse here?

384
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:54,399
Speaker 1: Because she said she left her purse here, and then

385
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:56,040
Speaker 1: no one said they had the purse. So I'm just

386
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,919
Speaker 1: like being a detective at this place. And finally I

387
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:01,959
Speaker 1: just left. Now I'm calling her. She's not picking up

388
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,040
Speaker 1: the phone. So now I think she got into the house.

389
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:05,520
Speaker 1: But I don't know if she got into the house.

390
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:07,960
Speaker 1: I kept calling her and calling her and texting or

391
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,680
Speaker 1: texting her room. Nope, nope, See she didn't tell that.

392
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Speaker 1: She didn't tell the story. I went home and got

393
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:20,200
Speaker 1: my son because I left my son. I loved my

394
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,600
Speaker 1: son's been waiting for he's he wanted to like go

395
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,280
Speaker 1: out to eat or something. So I went home and

396
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,240
Speaker 1: got my son. The minute I pulled up and go, hey, man,

397
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:31,199
Speaker 1: I think Chelsea's outside of her house and she's not

398
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:33,560
Speaker 1: picking up the phone. I went to go get her purse.

399
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:35,840
Speaker 1: She said she didn't have a key. I don't know

400
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:37,919
Speaker 1: if she got her key, but she's not answering. My

401
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,440
Speaker 1: phone calls the texting and my son goes, let's go,

402
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,280
Speaker 1: let's go see if she's there. So now it's my

403
00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:47,320
Speaker 1: son and I going back to her house and we're

404
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:51,280
Speaker 1: literally yelling out her name at her house because she's

405
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,960
Speaker 1: not there. Oh, by the way, she has this little

406
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:58,600
Speaker 1: what is it that statue like a little waterfall right

407
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:01,040
Speaker 1: by her front door. So my son went up the stairs.

408
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:07,280
Speaker 1: He went, oh, Chelsea. Oh. She was like, Chelse, I'm

409
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,280
Speaker 1: sitting out there meditating in the middle of the night

410
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:12,439
Speaker 1: with a waterfall. And then so we're yelling Chelsea, and

411
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 1: then I'm like, you know what, I think she's in

412
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,120
Speaker 1: because all our lights are on. By the way, all

413
00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:18,199
Speaker 1: the lights are on in her house, and I'm like,

414
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:20,280
Speaker 1: I I go, you know what, I think she finally

415
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:23,000
Speaker 1: got in, So then we left. Cut to the next day,

416
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:27,680
Speaker 1: she calls me and she's like, I fell asleep by

417
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:31,560
Speaker 1: the pool so you couldn't get a pool chair. And

418
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,639
Speaker 1: then she had a footprint on the side of her

419
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:41,960
Speaker 1: her ash cheeks. I told you, no, that's from a

420
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,639
Speaker 1: different thing. I told you I stepped in the treehouse,

421
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,119
Speaker 1: which was a lie. I didn't. I told him to

422
00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:48,600
Speaker 1: make him feel bad. You know, I had to sleep

423
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:52,359
Speaker 1: in the treehouse last night. And he's like, oh my god.

424
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:54,280
Speaker 1: And then I was like no, And then I realized

425
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,040
Speaker 1: he had come back and done all that, and then

426
00:21:56,080 --> 00:22:00,280
Speaker 1: I felt bad. I said, yeah, I was inside good.

427
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:03,280
Speaker 1: I know, I know, honey, I forgot, but that was sweet.

428
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:05,119
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know if that's a good story

429
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:08,080
Speaker 1: to be sharing, but sure, you know who fucking cares, right,

430
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:14,639
Speaker 1: who gives a ship? I can tell you that much. Yeah,

431
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:16,760
Speaker 1: And Vegas was leading up to Vegas. He was like,

432
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:18,159
Speaker 1: I'm coming to your Vegas show. I'm coming to your

433
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:20,399
Speaker 1: Vega show. Because he does have a house in Vegas also,

434
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:22,840
Speaker 1: so you spend a lot of time in Vegas for

435
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 1: tax evasion purposes, right, that's the other reason. He's got

436
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:34,000
Speaker 1: family and we and you walked in and I just

437
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:37,640
Speaker 1: remember seeing him and being like, oh, oh, okay, wait

438
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:42,119
Speaker 1: a second, something's happening here. And then she liked my outfit.

439
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:44,639
Speaker 1: I liked your outfit, but I just liked how attentive

440
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:48,240
Speaker 1: you were to be because I was performing and I

441
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 1: was nervous. I hadn't really done a big show yet

442
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:53,160
Speaker 1: for the new tour. I've done about your practice shows,

443
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,960
Speaker 1: but not in front of like a proper audience. And

444
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,160
Speaker 1: he was just so attentive to me, like the whole night,

445
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:03,679
Speaker 1: backstage age, everything, just making sure I was okay. And

446
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:05,960
Speaker 1: I remember my sister going You guys were like acting

447
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:09,560
Speaker 1: like a couple. We went to dinner and we had Yeah,

448
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 1: we were with Hannah I'm Binder and Alex Edelman are

449
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:15,320
Speaker 1: my opener. Hannah from that show Hacks Open for Me

450
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,879
Speaker 1: and her boyfriend came and we saw them and we

451
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,679
Speaker 1: had some other friends there, and then we gambled after

452
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:24,360
Speaker 1: the show and that was really fun. And then Chappelle

453
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:26,159
Speaker 1: and all those guys came to the show at the

454
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,240
Speaker 1: very end and they were going out in Vegas, and

455
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:30,000
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I don't really want to go out.

456
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 1: I wanted to just stay with my people. Plus we

457
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:35,720
Speaker 1: had plans were already planning to gamble, and then we gambled,

458
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 1: and he thought my sister was giving him the eye

459
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,400
Speaker 1: because we were getting touchy feely. And we had bet

460
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:43,680
Speaker 1: on that fight that you and mcg McGregor fight lost

461
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 1: on that fight. Is it you and McGregor. Isn't that

462
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:49,720
Speaker 1: an actor? It's just okay, Well maybe he was in

463
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:54,199
Speaker 1: a fight too, McGregor. Okay, so exactly that may have

464
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,040
Speaker 1: been why we lost, because I don't even know what

465
00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:59,040
Speaker 1: the funk I'm talking about. Same here. So we've bet

466
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:02,280
Speaker 1: on that fight we both lost, and then we both lost.

467
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,199
Speaker 1: But what did I do? You made sure that I

468
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:06,320
Speaker 1: got all my money back. That's what he always does,

469
00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 1: you know about it. We took out money to gamble,

470
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 1: and then he always puts the money back in my

471
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:13,320
Speaker 1: person even though I've lost it all, which is a

472
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,640
Speaker 1: really really cute thing. Which is a really cute tradition, honey,

473
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,960
Speaker 1: it can stop. And so you were hanging out in

474
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 1: my room right and in Vegas, and I said, do

475
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,320
Speaker 1: you have a crush on me? If you do, you

476
00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:26,320
Speaker 1: need to let me know because I need to respond

477
00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:28,960
Speaker 1: to it. And he was like, Chelsea, don't ruin everything.

478
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,959
Speaker 1: You ruined everything, and I was like, all right, well,

479
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 1: then good night, and then you left and then you

480
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:36,919
Speaker 1: came back because you lost your keys, and then you

481
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,480
Speaker 1: sat there and you just waited for you said, I'll

482
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:43,280
Speaker 1: wait for you to sleep, fall asleep, and I fell asleep,

483
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 1: and he just sat there and waited, and then I

484
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:46,520
Speaker 1: heard him walk out in the middle of the night,

485
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,760
Speaker 1: and I was like, God, is he ever going to

486
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,000
Speaker 1: make a move on me? And then I just remember

487
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:53,560
Speaker 1: I remember thinking, oh, he would never do that in Vegas,

488
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,440
Speaker 1: like that's not his style at all. Plus, we were drinking.

489
00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 1: I was going to kiss her, Katherine, I didn't want

490
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:01,080
Speaker 1: it to because we were both drunk. Right, how cute

491
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 1: is that? Yeah, I mean what guy says that? So

492
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 1: then well, I mean wouldn't like that's the right thing

493
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,640
Speaker 1: to do when I don't want to be I don't

494
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:13,320
Speaker 1: want my moment with you to be a memory of

495
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:16,560
Speaker 1: us being hammered and ship faced the Vegas. And that's

496
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:19,119
Speaker 1: why we've made out, especially after all these years, the

497
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:21,679
Speaker 1: build up, and everything's gonna be right, it's gonna be right,

498
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 1: it's got to be right, right, So it was yes,

499
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 1: and so he did that, which was also made me

500
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:29,520
Speaker 1: more attracted to him, and then I remember waking up

501
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:30,960
Speaker 1: and going funk, I don't want to leave. I want

502
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:32,840
Speaker 1: to go with him, you know, and drive back. Yeah,

503
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:35,439
Speaker 1: that was cute. She left a video message saying what

504
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,000
Speaker 1: time are you going to leave? Because I'd rather go

505
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,399
Speaker 1: back with you, But I didn't. I ended up flying

506
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,920
Speaker 1: back because he was going shopping. He loves to go shopping.

507
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,600
Speaker 1: Now I have to go love to go shopping. But

508
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:47,399
Speaker 1: then it was the next day in in l A

509
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:49,800
Speaker 1: on Monday, and we went out. We went down to

510
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 1: Koreatown and we had a really fun night and and

511
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:55,080
Speaker 1: then I think yeah, and then I made a move.

512
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:58,119
Speaker 1: I just said, listen, what is the fucking situation? First

513
00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 1: I said, do you want to hold my hands? And

514
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,760
Speaker 1: while we were driving and you were like yes, and

515
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:04,480
Speaker 1: then I was like okay. And then we got back

516
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:06,840
Speaker 1: to my house and I made a move and said, listen,

517
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,120
Speaker 1: let's get this show on the road already. That's great.

518
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 1: So that was nothing happened that night either. No, No,

519
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:14,120
Speaker 1: he didn't let anything happen that night either. Because we

520
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:18,480
Speaker 1: were drinking. I got to find the silver window. She

521
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 1: literally put her foot on my face and she goes,

522
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:26,240
Speaker 1: kiss me. You did kiss me? Honey. Yeah, so that

523
00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 1: was good. And speaking of drinking, guess who hasn't been

524
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:32,440
Speaker 1: drinking for well, now it sounds like I have a

525
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:35,720
Speaker 1: drinking problem after these stories, I know, but it sounds

526
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:39,120
Speaker 1: like it. Anyway, I've started my thirty day alcohol cleanse

527
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 1: sobriety cleanse or whatever from my Orca because I had

528
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:46,399
Speaker 1: Sangria for breakfast a lot in my Orka and I

529
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:48,879
Speaker 1: got back and thought, but I got so many d

530
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 1: ms from people who were also doing the thirty day

531
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 1: alcohol detalk with me. So what day are I on? Eight?

532
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:57,880
Speaker 1: Or nine? I don't know. Let's just say, well, when

533
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:00,679
Speaker 1: this airs, it will probably be like fourteen. So but

534
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:02,639
Speaker 1: it hasn't been hard at all, probably because I'm with

535
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,440
Speaker 1: you and Joe's not even Joe only drinks if I drink,

536
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:08,760
Speaker 1: so he is fine not drinking. If I smoke a joint,

537
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:10,960
Speaker 1: he'll smoke a joint. If I don't smoke a joint,

538
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,199
Speaker 1: he doesn't smoke a joint. Right, you can take it

539
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 1: or leave it all. Yeah, right, so that's good. That's

540
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:18,719
Speaker 1: good for me anyway. That's our love story, guys. Hopefully

541
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:22,440
Speaker 1: it wasn't too annoying. No, not at all. Catherine yes,

542
00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:24,800
Speaker 1: should we start with some callers? Well, I want to

543
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 1: ask you a question. Okay, sure, honey. I think I'm

544
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,919
Speaker 1: allowed to do that, right, Catherine? Yeah? Absolutely, So you

545
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:37,879
Speaker 1: really never had not even an interest at all? Is

546
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:40,760
Speaker 1: that what you're getting at right now, this whole love story,

547
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:44,879
Speaker 1: not not even a tad, not a little bit of

548
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:48,080
Speaker 1: an attraction from day one. Well, this is what I'll say,

549
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 1: is that, first of all, I don't think I was

550
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:55,120
Speaker 1: in touch with my feelings enough to understand what those

551
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,560
Speaker 1: feelings were. I would say by behaviorally what I was

552
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:01,919
Speaker 1: doing would end Kate that I also had feelings but

553
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 1: didn't know how to they weren't registering. So I think

554
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:09,080
Speaker 1: by going to therapy, like even when we were talking

555
00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,280
Speaker 1: for the last year, like I still had that same

556
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,240
Speaker 1: energy with you, because historically that was our energy, which

557
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 1: was like I felt like you had a crush on me,

558
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,280
Speaker 1: and I was in charge and I could kind of

559
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:22,120
Speaker 1: just do whatever and you would always be smitten or

560
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:24,080
Speaker 1: like taken by me in a way Like That's how

561
00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 1: I felt. But now in retrospect, I realized that those

562
00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:31,879
Speaker 1: feelings were probably I just was suppressing them. I was

563
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:34,720
Speaker 1: just not like in touch with myself to understand. Oh,

564
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:36,760
Speaker 1: I knew I liked talking to you and I would

565
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 1: liked having you in my life because you're so positive

566
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:42,760
Speaker 1: and upbeat and it's infectious, and I loved all of that.

567
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:46,880
Speaker 1: But I wasn't like, had this desire to have something happened. No,

568
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 1: I wasn't thinking about that at all. I just thought, Oh,

569
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:53,080
Speaker 1: and by the way, who gives a ship? Because look

570
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 1: where we are now? So if I, you know, I

571
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 1: would have ruined it if I had those feelings earlier. Probably, Yeah,

572
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 1: I think we're in a better place both, Puss. I

573
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:05,200
Speaker 1: would have sexually assaulted you crying in a corner, yeah,

574
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 1: trying to file some sort of police report. And you

575
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 1: want to hear something else, Catherine. I didn't show Chelsea this,

576
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 1: but yesterday John lovetts text me I didn't show you. Yeah,

577
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:21,280
Speaker 1: so I'll show you this. This is what he wrote

578
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 1: me this last night at like midnight. I'll do it

579
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:26,840
Speaker 1: in John Love. It's his voice. You ready, He goes,

580
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:33,640
Speaker 1: how do you meet your new girlfriend? You're welcome, glad,

581
00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 1: You're happy? I went, ha ha, thank you, John, no problem?

582
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:43,320
Speaker 1: Cash bleeds? Are you still funny? I'm selling out multiple arenas?

583
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:47,320
Speaker 1: So yes, he goes, Jesus, that's awesome. But basically the

584
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:49,880
Speaker 1: reason why that's funny is John's the reason why I

585
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 1: met Chelsea. Did she tell you that already? That's another

586
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 1: memory that I don't have, see she she doesn't remember

587
00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:58,160
Speaker 1: this either. John was doing a show at the laugh

588
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:00,880
Speaker 1: Factory every Wednesday night and I would opening for him.

589
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:04,680
Speaker 1: This is like sixteen years ago, whatever, sixteen or seventeen

590
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 1: years ago, and then all of a sudden, he goes,

591
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:10,880
Speaker 1: you have to meet Chelsea handler. She's hysterical. She's my

592
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:17,080
Speaker 1: only friend on my Space. And then it was literally

593
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 1: just you, that's all you had. And the other guy

594
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 1: I think it was whoever the other guy is, It's

595
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 1: just Chelsea. Yeah, so it was just Chelsea. And then

596
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:29,840
Speaker 1: that that's when we met was through John. Yeah. Yeah,

597
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:31,720
Speaker 1: So I don't remember that either, but I do know

598
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:34,040
Speaker 1: who John Lovett is, So there we go. I have

599
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:36,920
Speaker 1: a memory of him. Anyway, Thanks for listening to that,

600
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:41,080
Speaker 1: you guys fantastic. Should we take a quick ad break? Chelsea? Yeah?

601
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:42,960
Speaker 1: Why don't we take a quick ad break? Honey? You

602
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:45,760
Speaker 1: can start reading my ads for me. Okay, yeah, okay, great, bye,

603
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:50,400
Speaker 1: I mean, see you in a minute. Honey, get ready

604
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 1: to get your therapy cap on. Okay, Okay, Catherine, who

605
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 1: do we have on deck? So our first question for you,

606
00:30:57,440 --> 00:31:02,800
Speaker 1: Chelsea comes from John. Is it John Lovett's Hello? It's

607
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:06,320
Speaker 1: not John Lovett, but he's from Texas. He's thirty two,

608
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,920
Speaker 1: He writes, Dear Chelsea, first of all, thank you for

609
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,840
Speaker 1: this hilarious and practical podcast. I absolutely love it and

610
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:14,960
Speaker 1: applaud the work you're doing for your listeners. Here's the issue.

611
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:18,640
Speaker 1: I want advice on my phobia of the gym, more specifically,

612
00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 1: my worry when working out of the gym that I'm

613
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:23,719
Speaker 1: being judged by others. I recently signed up for Planet

614
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:25,800
Speaker 1: Fitness and I love their leave your ego at the

615
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:29,120
Speaker 1: door philosophy. However, I still can't shake the feeling that

616
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:32,240
Speaker 1: I'm either trying too hard or not hard enough. I

617
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:33,960
Speaker 1: know it's in my head, but I'm in my early

618
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 1: thirties and want to get my body right for my

619
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:39,600
Speaker 1: health and side note he is just over forty days

620
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:42,840
Speaker 1: sober as well. Oh wow, well that's going to be

621
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:45,440
Speaker 1: a big boost. Okay, Hi, John, let's see you. H

622
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:52,800
Speaker 1: oh Hi, Hi, Hi? Where are you? I'm in Weatherford,

623
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 1: so I'm West of Worse so it's in Texas. Sorry

624
00:31:56,800 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 1: about that, but you know, yeah, seriously, I'm sorry that

625
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:03,760
Speaker 1: you won't be able to get an abortion there. My goodness,

626
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,040
Speaker 1: did you meet my lover Joe? Joe's here today too,

627
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 1: that's your lover. Yeah, that's new lover. Yeah. He also

628
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 1: doesn't use the gym. So but yeah. Anyway, I think,

629
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 1: first of all, great job, I'm not drinking for forty days.

630
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,520
Speaker 1: How did you decide to do that? Kind of had

631
00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:24,040
Speaker 1: it decided for me? My body was like, you can't

632
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:27,680
Speaker 1: do this anymore. So I got out of that period

633
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:30,200
Speaker 1: and I was like, Okay, you have to commit to it,

634
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 1: and I did, and uh, I'm happier than ever. It's

635
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 1: the best feeling. Yeah, it's the best feeling in the world.

636
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 1: Like I get to take my dogs out all the time.

637
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:40,200
Speaker 1: We go to the lake and we just walk around

638
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 1: and I'm like, what are people doing all day? Like

639
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:45,560
Speaker 1: I don't know. It was just it's I'm so clear,

640
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 1: and I have so many things I can do, and

641
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:49,680
Speaker 1: I'm so excited about life, and so that's a big

642
00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 1: deal for me. That's so great to do that I've

643
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:54,760
Speaker 1: got gotten because I'm doing a thirty day detox. I've

644
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 1: gotten so many dams from people who are struggling with

645
00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:00,080
Speaker 1: alcohol and the idea of even giving it up, you know,

646
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 1: and I think if it's if it's that hard to

647
00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:04,480
Speaker 1: even give up, then that means that you need to

648
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:08,600
Speaker 1: consider it. Right, Yeah, it was hard. I didn't want

649
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 1: to give it up. And then once you give it up,

650
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:13,280
Speaker 1: and I am in a better a lot better place now.

651
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:15,840
Speaker 1: I don't regret it. I don't look back. But you know,

652
00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 1: getting through that first period is not easy. I'm still

653
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,719
Speaker 1: in the beginning of it. But I'm like so like

654
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 1: I couldn't even dream that I would be where I'm

655
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:29,000
Speaker 1: at now. So yeah, so that's great. And then I

656
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 1: haven't I'm starting a new job this week. What are

657
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:33,920
Speaker 1: you doing for your new job? Oh, I'm gonna be

658
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 1: working at so it's a hotel, working at the front desk.

659
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 1: So that's great, and I'm really excited. And I just

660
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:43,080
Speaker 1: got my degree from Arizona State in May. So like

661
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 1: I'm on this whole like just resetting, you know. I

662
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:48,840
Speaker 1: was trying to get in with life, and you know,

663
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:51,640
Speaker 1: I really feel good about it. And the gym thing

664
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:54,480
Speaker 1: keeps coming up, where like I go and I feel

665
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:58,720
Speaker 1: I don't know, I just don't belong. I'm dirty two now,

666
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,680
Speaker 1: and I'm like, if I can get this together, then

667
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 1: you know, I have everything. Else is kind of I'm

668
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:05,520
Speaker 1: kind of getting in line, you know. If I just

669
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:08,960
Speaker 1: get this body right, that's gonna be like just the

670
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:13,120
Speaker 1: best thing for me. Well, first of all, you do

671
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:15,239
Speaker 1: not have to give a ship about anybody in the gym.

672
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:18,000
Speaker 1: Half of those morons don't know what they're doing either,

673
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 1: And there's no morm in asking people like if you

674
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,879
Speaker 1: need help with something. Nobody loves to give people help

675
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 1: more than white straight guys at a gym. So if

676
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 1: you need help, you shouldn't be shy about asking for

677
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:32,400
Speaker 1: it because it kind of ingratiates yourself to others, you know,

678
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 1: And if you don't, if that's not your issue, is

679
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:37,239
Speaker 1: your issue you just feel intimidated or is there your

680
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:39,560
Speaker 1: issue that you don't know what you're doing? Well, I

681
00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:41,840
Speaker 1: have like an access, So it's like one end, I'm like,

682
00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:44,040
Speaker 1: what am I doing here? I'm fat I don't belong here,

683
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:46,440
Speaker 1: to the other end where I think I'm like hot

684
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:48,560
Speaker 1: stuff and like I really know what I'm doing, and

685
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:51,080
Speaker 1: so like I'm always in between there somehow, and then

686
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 1: I end up on like the elliptical for like thirty minutes,

687
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,719
Speaker 1: and then I go home because I'm like, oh god,

688
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:57,879
Speaker 1: I can't do any of this other stuff. I'm gonna

689
00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:00,479
Speaker 1: look ridiculous. And I just and I feel like other

690
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 1: people feel this way. I can't be the only one.

691
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:05,719
Speaker 1: The things show you how to do them, like the

692
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:07,960
Speaker 1: machines that are not like freeweights, like the ones that

693
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:10,280
Speaker 1: you know, they'll show you how to do them and stuff,

694
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:11,799
Speaker 1: and I just feel like, oh God, if I go

695
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:14,520
Speaker 1: down there, I'm gonna be ridiculous and people are gonna

696
00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:16,719
Speaker 1: be judging me. First of all, do you have to

697
00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:19,439
Speaker 1: remember everyone at the gym is there because they're worried

698
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:22,239
Speaker 1: about how they're being judged. So don't worry about them

699
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 1: judging you, because everybody's thinking about themselves, So just remember that.

700
00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 1: Just like you're in your head, everyone else is in

701
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:31,320
Speaker 1: their head. Also. Secondly, there are so many apps you

702
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:33,279
Speaker 1: can download that can teach you how to do these things,

703
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:36,000
Speaker 1: Like do you have the Peloton app or like Tonal

704
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:39,720
Speaker 1: Fitness or one of those. I don't have those yet. Actually,

705
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:41,840
Speaker 1: the Planet Fitness apps does some of that stuff. They

706
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 1: have like videos, but peloton. I watched TikTok and there's

707
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:46,640
Speaker 1: that guy on there. I don't know if he's seen,

708
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:48,920
Speaker 1: but he's really funny and I think he does peloton,

709
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:50,919
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, I should do that because

710
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:53,360
Speaker 1: I think you can do just the membership and you

711
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,359
Speaker 1: don't have to have a like no, you don't need

712
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:57,360
Speaker 1: the bike. You just get the membership. You played on

713
00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:59,839
Speaker 1: your laptop or an iPad or whatever. There's like ten

714
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:02,400
Speaker 1: it in fifteen minute classes they do like you can

715
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:04,840
Speaker 1: do upper body, lower body, you can do apps, you

716
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:07,239
Speaker 1: can do all of that, but just doing cardio a

717
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 1: if you've lost weight recently or anything like that, too

718
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:13,400
Speaker 1: much cardio is never bueno, like you know, if people

719
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:15,520
Speaker 1: think that's the way. But like, once you've lost the weight,

720
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,360
Speaker 1: you want to you want to tone up right, you

721
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 1: want to be lifting weights and doing that stuff. So

722
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:21,160
Speaker 1: any of those apps will teach you how to do

723
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:24,759
Speaker 1: these exercises. You know, these aren't difficult things. They're so

724
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:27,080
Speaker 1: easy and you just have to have a conversation with

725
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:28,839
Speaker 1: yourself before you get to the gym because you do

726
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:31,279
Speaker 1: belong there. That's what you're doing. You're going there to

727
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:35,800
Speaker 1: get yourself healthier. So yeah, fuck everybody else. Don't worry

728
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:38,239
Speaker 1: about other people, you know, spend a little bit less

729
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:40,239
Speaker 1: time on social media and a little bit more time

730
00:36:40,239 --> 00:36:43,600
Speaker 1: on like boosting yourself and telling yourself how great it is.

731
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:45,480
Speaker 1: All these changes that you're telling me that you've just

732
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:49,520
Speaker 1: made are incredible. That's incredible that you stopped drinking for

733
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:51,840
Speaker 1: forty days. You have a new job. Look how happy

734
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:55,960
Speaker 1: you are. You're like, right, very happy. Yeah, you know,

735
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 1: I was thinking about I was like, Instagram does not

736
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:00,640
Speaker 1: help me, but this whole situation be is like everybody

737
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:05,000
Speaker 1: I look at on fitness on Instagram, their world wonderful looking.

738
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 1: I'm just like, those are called filters. Yeah, yeah, they're

739
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:11,360
Speaker 1: called filters. Those aren't real people. By the way, you

740
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:13,880
Speaker 1: said something about being thirty two. One thing you gotta

741
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 1: always do is never use your age as an excuse, right,

742
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:21,120
Speaker 1: Just enjoy the moment that you're in right, Like, you're

743
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:23,879
Speaker 1: in a healthy position right now. You stop drinking. Man,

744
00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:26,600
Speaker 1: a lot of people take forever to even get over

745
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 1: that hump, right, So it's like that's amazing. That has

746
00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:31,680
Speaker 1: nothing to do with age. It's just like your mental

747
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:34,960
Speaker 1: fitness is beautiful right now. So maintain that. Don't sit

748
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:36,239
Speaker 1: there and go, I'm thirty two and I'm gonna be

749
00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:38,799
Speaker 1: thirty three next year, I'm gonna be forty. What are

750
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:42,000
Speaker 1: you doing? There's there's no read. Your whole life is

751
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:44,239
Speaker 1: in front of you, man, So don't look at it

752
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:47,880
Speaker 1: as a year to year things. Just your life. Who

753
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:51,080
Speaker 1: gives a ship how old you are? And also, positivity

754
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:55,120
Speaker 1: breeds more positivity. So when you're positive about yourself and

755
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 1: like you're really you know, feeling yourself, that's good. You're

756
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:02,279
Speaker 1: attracting people. You track take people to that energy. And

757
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:04,840
Speaker 1: you know, when you're having those negative thoughts about yourself,

758
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:07,959
Speaker 1: you're negatively pushing people away. To keep that in mind,

759
00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:12,920
Speaker 1: that's so true, man, People feed off of that. When

760
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:15,200
Speaker 1: you're positive, people want to they want to taste the

761
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:18,279
Speaker 1: juice you're drinking, you know, without you even trying to

762
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:20,520
Speaker 1: sell it. It's just it's just you and everyone wants

763
00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 1: to be around that space, like yo, what is this

764
00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:26,440
Speaker 1: guy on? You know? But if you're moping around and depressed,

765
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:29,359
Speaker 1: people don't working around that. That's not who I want

766
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:31,520
Speaker 1: to be and that's not who I am naturally and

767
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:33,200
Speaker 1: like this, like that's what I was saying this is

768
00:38:33,239 --> 00:38:35,640
Speaker 1: going to help me get past that hump, Like who

769
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:38,440
Speaker 1: cares fulcom in the gym? You know this. I'm here

770
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:40,520
Speaker 1: for me. Y'all here for yourselves too. It's not like

771
00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:43,440
Speaker 1: anybody's going there to watch people, you know, Like it's

772
00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 1: in my head. I guess that that I'm thinking that,

773
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:47,800
Speaker 1: and it's just you know, And that's what my college

774
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:49,839
Speaker 1: roommates like got over that real quick. They never had

775
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:51,560
Speaker 1: dec issue. I'm like, I can't be the only one

776
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:54,840
Speaker 1: who's like a little shy, like on the work cup machines,

777
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:57,520
Speaker 1: trying to do too much or whatever. But no, I

778
00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:59,480
Speaker 1: I am a positive person and I'm going to take

779
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:02,040
Speaker 1: this advice and I'll probably go to the gym right

780
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:05,160
Speaker 1: after this. Actually I'm feeling it. And don't be scared

781
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:07,799
Speaker 1: about making friends at the gym. I mean, you're so likable, like,

782
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,560
Speaker 1: go up to people, you know, get help from from

783
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:13,440
Speaker 1: these guys or from girls or from whomever. Just be like, hey,

784
00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:15,200
Speaker 1: I'm new here, I don't really know how to use

785
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:18,239
Speaker 1: this machine. I guarantee you will have no problem getting help.

786
00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:22,319
Speaker 1: And that's that's a sweet endearing quality. So yeah, keep

787
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:26,640
Speaker 1: spreading positivity and everything's gonna come up, roses, especially with

788
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:32,240
Speaker 1: that hairline. Look at your hairline. Thank you. He doesn't

789
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:34,520
Speaker 1: have a hairline. I don't have a hair line. Yeah, yeah,

790
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 1: he's losing. He lost his hair when I shaved his

791
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:41,640
Speaker 1: head a long time ago and sold his hair. But anyway,

792
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:44,160
Speaker 1: good luck with everything. It was really nice to talk

793
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:47,480
Speaker 1: to you, John, Thanks, Jesse, thank you, thank you all

794
00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:49,879
Speaker 1: so much. Follow up, let me know, like six months

795
00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:51,719
Speaker 1: down the road, how's it, how it's going, and what's

796
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,520
Speaker 1: what happened with your gym experience and all that stuff. Okay,

797
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:58,120
Speaker 1: keep in touch, yes Na, thank you? Okay, by cutie,

798
00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:02,840
Speaker 1: Oh look him, cutie, honey. That was nice advice. And

799
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:05,319
Speaker 1: I love it how he always smiled every time every

800
00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:09,160
Speaker 1: time we spoke about that. Yea. Our next question is,

801
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:12,560
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea, I think I'm in love with my best friend.

802
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:15,160
Speaker 1: For context, I am a twenty two year old male

803
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:17,880
Speaker 1: and so is he. We've been best friends since the

804
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:20,279
Speaker 1: seventh grade and he's always been the one person I

805
00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:23,480
Speaker 1: can count on. After high school, he joined the service

806
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:25,879
Speaker 1: and was gone for three years. We stayed in touch

807
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:28,120
Speaker 1: as much as we could, and since he's been back,

808
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:31,319
Speaker 1: he's been staying with me about two months ago, we

809
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:34,560
Speaker 1: were both drunk and somehow started making out. I don't

810
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:37,280
Speaker 1: even remember how it started. I just remember not wanting

811
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:40,320
Speaker 1: it to end. I've always told people I was straight

812
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:43,160
Speaker 1: and always thought he was. I've dated girls before, but

813
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:46,319
Speaker 1: I've never felt anything like this. We haven't talked about

814
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:48,839
Speaker 1: that night at all. The day after he began seeing

815
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,480
Speaker 1: this girl who he's been spending the majority of his

816
00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:54,879
Speaker 1: time with ever since. I feel like he purposefully makes

817
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:57,000
Speaker 1: it evident to me that it's nothing serious with her

818
00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:59,120
Speaker 1: and he's just having fun. But I don't know how

819
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:01,719
Speaker 1: to take that. It's like he has this huge wall

820
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:03,600
Speaker 1: up ever since we kissed, and I don't know what

821
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:06,040
Speaker 1: to do. Should I try to talk to him about it.

822
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:08,359
Speaker 1: Should I tell him how I feel? Should I take

823
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:11,400
Speaker 1: his sudden interest in this girl as my answer? Please

824
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 1: help me. I have no idea what I'm doing. Austin,

825
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:18,279
Speaker 1: Oh God, yeah, no, Yeah, you got to talk to

826
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:21,719
Speaker 1: him and say something, because obviously if he's dating. Yeah, no,

827
00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:23,920
Speaker 1: you have to clear the air and understand what the

828
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:26,719
Speaker 1: situation is. You absolutely have to have a conversation with him,

829
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:28,879
Speaker 1: and it can't be over drinks. It has to be

830
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:33,600
Speaker 1: in the light of day and sober, and him being

831
00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:35,560
Speaker 1: with a girl is trying to send you a message,

832
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:37,719
Speaker 1: but who knows what he's thinking. I mean, you know,

833
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:40,719
Speaker 1: like there's so many men that are feeling that way

834
00:41:40,719 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 1: about other men, but don't think they're allowed to have

835
00:41:42,719 --> 00:41:45,320
Speaker 1: that behavior. And I mean, it would be easier to

836
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:47,640
Speaker 1: talk to him to understand the dynamic about their friendship,

837
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:49,840
Speaker 1: but you have to have a conversation. You have to

838
00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:51,879
Speaker 1: clear the air and get it out there, and don't

839
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:53,800
Speaker 1: pretend what happened didn't happen. It doesn't matter if you

840
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:56,080
Speaker 1: were drunk or not. You know, be the bigger person

841
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:58,800
Speaker 1: in the situation and just and whatever his answer is.

842
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:01,160
Speaker 1: If he's like, I'm not interested, that that was one night,

843
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:04,439
Speaker 1: then that's fine, that's it. That's fine, except that as

844
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:06,759
Speaker 1: his truth for that the time being. But at least

845
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:08,839
Speaker 1: then you have your answer. And do you have any

846
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:11,560
Speaker 1: advice for these two? I think it's done with that guy.

847
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,439
Speaker 1: I don't think there is a future there. Well, they're

848
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:17,400
Speaker 1: but they're best friends and they remain best friends. But

849
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:19,239
Speaker 1: that's why when you're in love with somebody or you

850
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 1: have that type of feeling, I never want to act

851
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:25,759
Speaker 1: on those feelings. When you're not sober. Yeah, but it's

852
00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:28,239
Speaker 1: too late. He already has I know, And this is

853
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 1: what I didn't want to happen in any relationship. I

854
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:34,759
Speaker 1: never want to go in without a clear mind, right.

855
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:37,840
Speaker 1: I don't want to act on what I was drinking

856
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:40,759
Speaker 1: that night. You know that it's never real love at

857
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:43,279
Speaker 1: that point, right, So your advice is to don't do

858
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:45,480
Speaker 1: that again. Don't hook up with him again drunk. It

859
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:47,719
Speaker 1: just don't let that happen. Yeah. If you ever have

860
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 1: feelings for someone that's bigger than just a friendship, don't

861
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:55,120
Speaker 1: act on it when you're not clear minded, right, like

862
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:56,879
Speaker 1: when you're drunk. That's not a good time because you're

863
00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:58,839
Speaker 1: going to find yourself in this situation because the other

864
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:00,799
Speaker 1: person probably didn't even think of it that way. It

865
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:04,520
Speaker 1: was just a hook up. Yeah, agreed, Agreed. Okay, So

866
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:14,080
Speaker 1: stop getting so ship faced all the time. Problem solves well.

867
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:18,400
Speaker 1: Our next question comes from Elizabeth. Elizabeth is a caller.

868
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:21,600
Speaker 1: She's here with us. She's twenty seven. She's in Tennessee.

869
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:25,560
Speaker 1: She said, Dear Chelsea, I do not like my sister's partner.

870
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:28,160
Speaker 1: My sister, Alice and I were members of a gym.

871
00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:31,040
Speaker 1: It's another gym related one members of a gym where

872
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:33,879
Speaker 1: this man, Michael, was a staff member. For the first

873
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:36,120
Speaker 1: several months of us being introduced to Michael, he was

874
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:39,400
Speaker 1: known as the creepy guy at the gym. At the time,

875
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:42,320
Speaker 1: My sister had just turned eighteen and was a senior

876
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:46,840
Speaker 1: in high school. Michael was thirty years old at the time. Alice,

877
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 1: who's naturally more friendly and outgoing than I am, eventually

878
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:52,080
Speaker 1: began defending Michael when I would state that I was

879
00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:54,800
Speaker 1: creeped out by him, but I dismissed it as typical

880
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:58,320
Speaker 1: friendly Alice. There were early red flags like him convincing

881
00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:00,840
Speaker 1: her to go off important medication in and a secret

882
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:03,640
Speaker 1: camping trip before I found out they had secretly been

883
00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:07,920
Speaker 1: dating for the entire summer. Now three years later, Michael

884
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:10,400
Speaker 1: has not made any effort to get to know our family.

885
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:12,600
Speaker 1: When he picks her up for dates, he sits at

886
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:14,600
Speaker 1: the end of the driveway, doesn't come to the door,

887
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:17,479
Speaker 1: et cetera. I can count on one hand the number

888
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:19,840
Speaker 1: of times he has held a conversation with my parents

889
00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:23,280
Speaker 1: and me. Alice has also cut herself off from friends,

890
00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:26,240
Speaker 1: so she has had minimal interaction with anyone but Michael.

891
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:30,279
Speaker 1: Speaking for myself, I cannot accept him. I can confidently

892
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:32,279
Speaker 1: say that my sister was groomed by him during a

893
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:35,640
Speaker 1: vulnerable and transitional time of her life, and he has

894
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:39,880
Speaker 1: knowingly isolated her from everyone but himself. Now, Michael is

895
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:42,360
Speaker 1: moving out of his parents house and Alice will be

896
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:44,759
Speaker 1: moving in with him. How do I continue to work

897
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 1: on my relationship with my sister when such a large

898
00:44:47,239 --> 00:44:50,960
Speaker 1: part of her life upsets me so much? Elizabeth? Oh,

899
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:56,000
Speaker 1: that's terrible. That's such a bummer when your sister gets

900
00:44:56,080 --> 00:45:01,759
Speaker 1: hijacked by an asshole. Hi, Elizabeth, Hi, Hi, how are you?

901
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:04,719
Speaker 1: I'm good? How about you? I'm good? This is my lover,

902
00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:08,400
Speaker 1: Joe KOI Hello, Joki. He's our guest today. We're just

903
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:10,719
Speaker 1: talking about love, and I guess so are you, because

904
00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 1: you're talking about the love for your sister. Right, Yes,

905
00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:22,040
Speaker 1: somebody just came up to your wind. She's like, hold on,

906
00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:25,319
Speaker 1: I gotta fill this bag up with an order. So

907
00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:28,239
Speaker 1: is your sister younger or older than you? She is

908
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:31,560
Speaker 1: five years younger? Okay? And how many other siblings do

909
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:33,960
Speaker 1: you have? It's just us, just the two of you,

910
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:37,080
Speaker 1: and you've always been pretty tight. We've always been pretty tight.

911
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:40,520
Speaker 1: This kind of overlapped with me coming home from school

912
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:43,800
Speaker 1: and her going away, so there was that transition happening,

913
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:47,320
Speaker 1: and so he kind of swooped in right as shoes,

914
00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 1: becoming one of my peers in a way. And so

915
00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:55,960
Speaker 1: it's just kind of gotten a wedge into this relationship.

916
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:59,640
Speaker 1: And your parents feel the same way that you do. Yes, yeah,

917
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:01,720
Speaker 1: Other than her knowing that you thought he was creepy

918
00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:03,359
Speaker 1: at the gym and stuff, have you had a real

919
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:07,160
Speaker 1: conversation with her sitting down and expressing the concerns you

920
00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:11,040
Speaker 1: have about his relationship with her and your family. Yes,

921
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:14,040
Speaker 1: And in the beginning, there were definitely conversations that we

922
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:17,360
Speaker 1: had expressing our concerns about this relationship because of the

923
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:20,520
Speaker 1: age gap and just the different stages of life there.

924
00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:24,400
Speaker 1: And it was just, so, what's the age gap again?

925
00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:30,440
Speaker 1: So she was eighteen when he was thirty. Twelve year gap.

926
00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 1: Now the age gap doesn't necessarily mean as much, but

927
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:38,920
Speaker 1: but she's what now? Oh so they've been together for

928
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:43,400
Speaker 1: four years now. Yeah, it's hard to break up. I know,

929
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:47,000
Speaker 1: what is it about him that you hated? Like, just

930
00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 1: what's the main thing when they first started dating? That

931
00:46:49,719 --> 00:46:53,719
Speaker 1: was it? The age? It was I felt like he

932
00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:56,799
Speaker 1: swooped in at a impressionable time in her life and

933
00:46:56,840 --> 00:47:00,120
Speaker 1: it was very opportunistic. So like her first weekend she

934
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:04,000
Speaker 1: went away to college, he came and to grow off

935
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:09,080
Speaker 1: the grid basically. And he hasn't ever validated that we

936
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:12,200
Speaker 1: had reason to be concerned for her, or that we

937
00:47:12,239 --> 00:47:15,960
Speaker 1: would feel somewhat offended that he didn't make any sort

938
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:19,000
Speaker 1: of effort to get back into our good graces. So

939
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:23,000
Speaker 1: it's that character flaw, and there are other examples. But

940
00:47:23,120 --> 00:47:25,200
Speaker 1: is he a bad guy? I mean, like that's not

941
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:27,880
Speaker 1: great behavior, but is he Yeah, he doesn't have the

942
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:32,600
Speaker 1: greatest personality either. Yeah. Unfortunately, that's not enough of a

943
00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:35,200
Speaker 1: reason to make somebody break up with somebody because somebody's

944
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:38,560
Speaker 1: personality isn't good enough. Right. I'm not going to say

945
00:47:38,560 --> 00:47:42,160
Speaker 1: the age isn't the thing as well, but eighteen isn't

946
00:47:42,680 --> 00:47:46,040
Speaker 1: a good time for you to be you know, the

947
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:49,520
Speaker 1: rules should be wait till she has experiences, you know,

948
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:53,400
Speaker 1: I mean like two and he was thirty. Yeah, I

949
00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:55,320
Speaker 1: get it, but like eighteen, you just got out of

950
00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:58,800
Speaker 1: high school. Man, you don't know anything else what high school?

951
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:01,719
Speaker 1: So I get that, and I can understand where your

952
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:07,080
Speaker 1: concern was, but is he a bad guy? He's not

953
00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:10,040
Speaker 1: a bad guy. I just need to know how to

954
00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:14,359
Speaker 1: move past those feelings I have about him with them

955
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:16,719
Speaker 1: then and move forward with my sister. Right. I don't

956
00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:19,279
Speaker 1: need to like him, but I don't want to have

957
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:22,480
Speaker 1: a relationship with my sister. I mean, you don't have

958
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:26,719
Speaker 1: to like him, but like your sister. You know, it's

959
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 1: like it's like, yeah, you want to you want to

960
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:31,000
Speaker 1: mend that relationship with your sister, but how do you

961
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:33,440
Speaker 1: mend something when you go I like you, I just

962
00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:36,840
Speaker 1: don't like him, right, So it's like I guess every Christmas,

963
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:39,640
Speaker 1: I'll just see you for like an hour and then

964
00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:41,480
Speaker 1: you go back to him. Like what happens over the

965
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:45,360
Speaker 1: holidays like Christmas? Is does he come? No? He doesn't,

966
00:48:46,200 --> 00:48:49,080
Speaker 1: So she comes by herself? Does she go see his family? So,

967
00:48:49,200 --> 00:48:51,279
Speaker 1: up until a couple of weeks ago when she moved

968
00:48:51,280 --> 00:48:53,399
Speaker 1: in with him, she had still been living at home.

969
00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:57,719
Speaker 1: She switched to all online classes after meeting him, and

970
00:48:57,800 --> 00:49:00,200
Speaker 1: so she was living at home while he was still

971
00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:03,200
Speaker 1: living at home. So we haven't really run into that.

972
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:06,719
Speaker 1: Is she traveling back for holidays yet? And where are they?

973
00:49:06,760 --> 00:49:08,839
Speaker 1: How far away are they from? Where you are. They're

974
00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:12,080
Speaker 1: about two hours away, kind of out in the country

975
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:15,200
Speaker 1: in small town. Yeah, I would say you need to

976
00:49:15,239 --> 00:49:18,040
Speaker 1: figure out a way to a just focus on the

977
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:20,440
Speaker 1: love you have for your sister and keeping your family intact,

978
00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:23,200
Speaker 1: because that is your responsibility that everyone in a family

979
00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:26,839
Speaker 1: bears like you are responsible for communicating and making sure

980
00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:30,759
Speaker 1: that you are just reciprocating, right, And it's unfortunate, But

981
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:32,560
Speaker 1: the reality is that she's been with him for four

982
00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:35,360
Speaker 1: years now, she's two hours away, so you've got to

983
00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:38,839
Speaker 1: just lay off disliking him and focus on loving her,

984
00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:41,880
Speaker 1: you know, and making sure that she knows if and

985
00:49:41,960 --> 00:49:44,200
Speaker 1: when the time comes that she is ready to like

986
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:46,600
Speaker 1: jump ship, that you are going to welcome her with

987
00:49:46,680 --> 00:49:48,880
Speaker 1: open arms and not. And I told you so. We

988
00:49:48,960 --> 00:49:51,279
Speaker 1: never liked him. She already knows that she knows you

989
00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:53,360
Speaker 1: don't like him. I've dated guys that I know my

990
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:55,319
Speaker 1: family didn't like, and no one said anything and I

991
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:58,239
Speaker 1: still knew. But I think you that you didn't even like.

992
00:50:00,239 --> 00:50:02,799
Speaker 1: We've all dated people that we didn't like heavy. Do

993
00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:05,800
Speaker 1: you have a boyfriend or a husband? No, I don't, Okay,

994
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:08,440
Speaker 1: So I think you should just focus on your relationship

995
00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:10,760
Speaker 1: with her. You know, even overdo it to a point

996
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:13,040
Speaker 1: to make sure that you're filling in for any sort

997
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:15,720
Speaker 1: of love she may feel like she's missing, because usually

998
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:17,680
Speaker 1: when you end up with a guy like that and

999
00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:20,320
Speaker 1: he doesn't really have any interest in knowing your family

1000
00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:22,799
Speaker 1: or getting to know your family or doing stuff like that,

1001
00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:26,000
Speaker 1: it's because he's trying to just isolate you. And you know,

1002
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:28,600
Speaker 1: you have your own little bubble and that's not good

1003
00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:31,520
Speaker 1: for families. So like any sort of chasm that you

1004
00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:34,279
Speaker 1: create or space that you create between her is going

1005
00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:36,120
Speaker 1: to be a price that you guys are gonna pay,

1006
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:38,040
Speaker 1: You and your parents are gonna pay, because she's just

1007
00:50:38,080 --> 00:50:41,759
Speaker 1: gonna be pushed further into him, you know. So you

1008
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:43,719
Speaker 1: just want to make as much of an effort even

1009
00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:46,680
Speaker 1: with him, even if it's fake, Just make as much

1010
00:50:46,719 --> 00:50:48,920
Speaker 1: of an effort as you can, you know, make the

1011
00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:51,080
Speaker 1: effort to go see her for the two hours, Make

1012
00:50:51,120 --> 00:50:53,200
Speaker 1: the effort to see them both for the two hours,

1013
00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:56,279
Speaker 1: so that it's demonstrated time and time again that you

1014
00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:59,440
Speaker 1: will keep showing up and that whenever she is ready,

1015
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:02,239
Speaker 1: if and when she knows that she can come to

1016
00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:04,279
Speaker 1: you and it's going to be a safe place, and

1017
00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:06,600
Speaker 1: that you'll support her instead of her being in a

1018
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:09,080
Speaker 1: situation where she feels like she doesn't have any family

1019
00:51:09,160 --> 00:51:12,000
Speaker 1: to reach out to. And how are your parents dealing

1020
00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:16,160
Speaker 1: with it? We've all pretty much fallen into that, like

1021
00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:18,840
Speaker 1: we can't protest too much because then she won't have

1022
00:51:18,880 --> 00:51:21,000
Speaker 1: anywhere to go. Um, So it's kind of it's kind

1023
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:23,440
Speaker 1: of like that they're obviously not crazy about him. But

1024
00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:25,600
Speaker 1: and have you guys ever talked about having like an

1025
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:28,960
Speaker 1: intervention with her at some point? We have talked to

1026
00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:32,360
Speaker 1: her before and it just doesn't do any good. It

1027
00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:36,920
Speaker 1: pushes her away, interrupt them. Sorry, we're still sounding like

1028
00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:41,640
Speaker 1: is a horrible man, Like you know, like have no

1029
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:44,239
Speaker 1: offense Chelsea, But like, have you guys had an intervention?

1030
00:51:44,320 --> 00:51:46,440
Speaker 1: It's like what are you having an intervention on? Like

1031
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:50,160
Speaker 1: she's still in love? I mean we can't say she's not.

1032
00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:55,000
Speaker 1: She's not being held hostage, you know what I mean? Like, yeah,

1033
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:59,080
Speaker 1: the situation was a twelve year old, twelve year gap,

1034
00:51:59,239 --> 00:52:01,720
Speaker 1: but it's like he's still been together for four years

1035
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:04,560
Speaker 1: and it's like, I don't know, maybe there's a time

1036
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:06,600
Speaker 1: where you guys have to like, hey, can you bring

1037
00:52:06,640 --> 00:52:09,040
Speaker 1: him over? Let's have a dinner. Let's let's all get

1038
00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:11,520
Speaker 1: to know him. Yeah. I think that's more of an

1039
00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:13,520
Speaker 1: effort that you need to do for your sister because

1040
00:52:13,560 --> 00:52:16,960
Speaker 1: she's in love and she fox up and in ten

1041
00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:18,759
Speaker 1: years for now she's like, god, damn it, he was

1042
00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:21,120
Speaker 1: an idiot, and just be like, you don't have to

1043
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:23,399
Speaker 1: say I told you, but welcome. I knew we were

1044
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:26,120
Speaker 1: here for you. But right now, she's in love, right, right,

1045
00:52:26,239 --> 00:52:28,400
Speaker 1: right right, didn't interned as a wrong word. She's not

1046
00:52:28,440 --> 00:52:31,040
Speaker 1: being abused or anything like that that you're aware of

1047
00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:34,399
Speaker 1: or I knew what you meant. Yeah, so that you're

1048
00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:38,520
Speaker 1: right honey this time, and you should I get an

1049
00:52:38,560 --> 00:52:42,319
Speaker 1: intervention last week. So yeah, it's called agua kalian. That's

1050
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:44,920
Speaker 1: our safe work. I think you just have to overdose

1051
00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:46,680
Speaker 1: her with love. Just be there for her and make

1052
00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:48,759
Speaker 1: an effort with him, even if it makes you sick.

1053
00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:50,799
Speaker 1: You just have to be the bigger person, right, you're

1054
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:53,319
Speaker 1: a big sister, and this is an opportunity to act

1055
00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:55,400
Speaker 1: like a big sister. Just be there for her in

1056
00:52:55,480 --> 00:52:58,280
Speaker 1: spades over and over again. Make sure that you're always

1057
00:52:58,280 --> 00:53:01,120
Speaker 1: communicating with her so that she as you're there and

1058
00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:02,719
Speaker 1: the same for you. If you can talk to your

1059
00:53:02,719 --> 00:53:06,280
Speaker 1: parents to do the same thing, because when people feel that,

1060
00:53:06,680 --> 00:53:09,560
Speaker 1: they retreat. If you feel like, oh, my friends don't

1061
00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:11,040
Speaker 1: like my boyfriend, then I'm not going to bring my

1062
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:13,560
Speaker 1: boyfriend around my friends. You know. You know what I

1063
00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:17,399
Speaker 1: think would be cool? Elizabeth? It's Elizabeth, right, Yes, I

1064
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:20,839
Speaker 1: think my name is Chelsea. Okay, I didn't know who

1065
00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:23,839
Speaker 1: you were talking to. I think it would be kind

1066
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:27,360
Speaker 1: of cool if you go, what's your sister's name, Alice?

1067
00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:29,560
Speaker 1: You should call Alice and go, hey, you know, would

1068
00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:32,919
Speaker 1: be fun. You me and your boyfriend go get something

1069
00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:36,360
Speaker 1: to drink. Let's just hang out or eat or go

1070
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:38,840
Speaker 1: do something. Let's just let's just hang out, just to

1071
00:53:38,920 --> 00:53:41,120
Speaker 1: initiate that. It's not like I want to get to

1072
00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:43,319
Speaker 1: know him or is he better or whatever, just like, hey,

1073
00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:45,600
Speaker 1: is it cool to be hanging out one night? Watch

1074
00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:48,080
Speaker 1: how she acts, Watch how he acts. It's probably gonna

1075
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:51,200
Speaker 1: be a completely different situation and you're probably gonna end

1076
00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:55,759
Speaker 1: up liking the guy. Well, maybe maybe it is worth

1077
00:53:55,760 --> 00:53:58,160
Speaker 1: a shot. It's worth because what you're doing isn't working, right,

1078
00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:00,520
Speaker 1: Like for you guys, having all this kind of negative

1079
00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:03,360
Speaker 1: energy towards him isn't working. He feels it. She feels it,

1080
00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:06,520
Speaker 1: and that's why they're probably two hours away. So if

1081
00:54:06,520 --> 00:54:09,960
Speaker 1: you can just reverse all of that negativity into positivity,

1082
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:12,040
Speaker 1: even if you're there and you're at dinner with him

1083
00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:15,120
Speaker 1: and he's not saying anything, it's just like, instead of

1084
00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:17,960
Speaker 1: having those negative feelings, have positive ones like, oh, how

1085
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:20,359
Speaker 1: can I engage? What can I what kind of question

1086
00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:23,080
Speaker 1: can I ask him to make him start talking about something?

1087
00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:26,440
Speaker 1: What's happening and transpired so far hasn't worked, So you

1088
00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:29,200
Speaker 1: have to completely try a different approach, and I guarantee

1089
00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:31,480
Speaker 1: you you'll get different results. With every different approach, there

1090
00:54:31,520 --> 00:54:34,239
Speaker 1: are different results. And mind you, the more you don't

1091
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:38,359
Speaker 1: like him, the more she's gonna like him. Yeah, that's

1092
00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:40,640
Speaker 1: also a problem. I had that experience with one of

1093
00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:43,160
Speaker 1: my friends once and we all told her and then

1094
00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:47,000
Speaker 1: they got married. So that doesn't really work either, especially

1095
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:49,160
Speaker 1: when there's really no legitimate reason not to like him.

1096
00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:53,719
Speaker 1: It's just his personality seems lame. Yeah, so does that

1097
00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:57,160
Speaker 1: help you at all? Elizabeth? It does, And you're right,

1098
00:54:57,200 --> 00:54:59,719
Speaker 1: I need to focus more on being positive about this

1099
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:03,680
Speaker 1: suation and yeah, just think about yeah, yeah, I really

1100
00:55:03,719 --> 00:55:05,680
Speaker 1: do try and think about that. How you can kind

1101
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:07,239
Speaker 1: of flip the switch on that. There's a lot of

1102
00:55:07,239 --> 00:55:09,560
Speaker 1: meditations to that help you do that. To get all

1103
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:11,560
Speaker 1: the kind of negative stuff out and replace it with

1104
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:13,960
Speaker 1: positive stuff. It's important to do that. Like I, I

1105
00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:16,760
Speaker 1: have that issue a lot with respect to certain things,

1106
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:19,120
Speaker 1: and I just try to always be like, Okay, anytime

1107
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:20,840
Speaker 1: there's a negative thought, I try to replace it with

1108
00:55:20,880 --> 00:55:23,680
Speaker 1: a positive one. You know, another thing, too, Chelsea, is

1109
00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:25,960
Speaker 1: when you spend a lot of negative energy on something

1110
00:55:25,960 --> 00:55:29,040
Speaker 1: that doesn't have to do with you, you start neglecting

1111
00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:32,520
Speaker 1: yourself and that sucks. She'll just love you so much

1112
00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:35,960
Speaker 1: more if you are just really reaching out instead of

1113
00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:38,480
Speaker 1: withdrawing for him him, you know, especially if you make

1114
00:55:38,520 --> 00:55:41,600
Speaker 1: an effort with him that's indisputable. When she sees that,

1115
00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:44,760
Speaker 1: now blood is thicker than water, it's like my sister.

1116
00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:47,560
Speaker 1: Now she's going to take your side because if he

1117
00:55:47,680 --> 00:55:49,480
Speaker 1: denies the lunch and she's like, well, you know what,

1118
00:55:49,560 --> 00:55:52,120
Speaker 1: then she's fucking right. You are a piece of ship

1119
00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:56,319
Speaker 1: because she asked you out. Yeah, I get it. Thank you.

1120
00:55:57,280 --> 00:55:59,160
Speaker 1: Well that would be do you have venmo because we're

1121
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:01,640
Speaker 1: gonna actually charge. We don't charge on this podcast. Okay,

1122
00:56:01,719 --> 00:56:05,000
Speaker 1: that's a private thing that you do on your podcast, Elizabeth,

1123
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:07,200
Speaker 1: if you could just send me your venom, I'm going

1124
00:56:07,239 --> 00:56:09,239
Speaker 1: to charge you just for my pution. I'll drop in

1125
00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:12,440
Speaker 1: the chat. Okay, thank you, thank you, Elizabeth. But check

1126
00:56:12,480 --> 00:56:14,480
Speaker 1: in with us, Okay, check in with us later and

1127
00:56:14,560 --> 00:56:16,880
Speaker 1: let us know what happens. Okay, thank Okay. If they

1128
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:21,800
Speaker 1: ever break up, we'll have a big party. All right, Okay, bye, Okay,

1129
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:23,600
Speaker 1: we're going to take another break so Joe and I

1130
00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:28,000
Speaker 1: can make love. Joe, you look like you need a

1131
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,839
Speaker 1: little advice. Yeah, do you have anything that you need

1132
00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:33,680
Speaker 1: to ask me? Yeah? How about if I just ask you.

1133
00:56:34,280 --> 00:56:37,400
Speaker 1: I deal with a family that holds grudges, and I

1134
00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:40,000
Speaker 1: feel like every time I say it on stage, I'm

1135
00:56:40,040 --> 00:56:42,600
Speaker 1: not the only person. I'm not alone. I feel like

1136
00:56:42,600 --> 00:56:48,400
Speaker 1: it's very common within my community, my people. Yeah, you

1137
00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:53,280
Speaker 1: mean in our culture, it is a thing that grudges

1138
00:56:53,320 --> 00:56:55,080
Speaker 1: are a big thing. How do we deal with that

1139
00:56:55,840 --> 00:56:58,320
Speaker 1: without destroying the family? I told you I'm going to

1140
00:56:58,400 --> 00:57:03,000
Speaker 1: talk to your mother. No, but I mean even in general,

1141
00:57:03,040 --> 00:57:06,080
Speaker 1: like I'm pretty sure not just Filipinos, but everybody has

1142
00:57:06,239 --> 00:57:10,879
Speaker 1: that conflict within the family where there's a grudge but

1143
00:57:10,920 --> 00:57:15,239
Speaker 1: no one's able to talk about it. But there's this grudge. Yeah,

1144
00:57:15,320 --> 00:57:17,480
Speaker 1: you know me, I like language, so I am always

1145
00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:21,800
Speaker 1: for communicating and overly communicating until you know, you wear

1146
00:57:21,840 --> 00:57:25,160
Speaker 1: somebody down with language. I know what you're talking about personally,

1147
00:57:25,160 --> 00:57:28,000
Speaker 1: and I know that that it's not obviously Filipino thing.

1148
00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:30,680
Speaker 1: It's a world thing. People hold grudges against each other,

1149
00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:33,440
Speaker 1: but it can be stronger in different cultures. But you know,

1150
00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:35,479
Speaker 1: you can't go to a dry well for water, right,

1151
00:57:35,560 --> 00:57:38,320
Speaker 1: Like what's the point. But there's a different avenue always

1152
00:57:38,320 --> 00:57:40,000
Speaker 1: to get what you want, you know, being in a

1153
00:57:40,040 --> 00:57:43,040
Speaker 1: relationship with me, Like, there's different ways to go about

1154
00:57:43,080 --> 00:57:47,160
Speaker 1: those things. So whatever you've done thus far, it doesn't work.

1155
00:57:47,880 --> 00:57:50,240
Speaker 1: And it's time to think of a new avenue. And

1156
00:57:50,280 --> 00:57:51,960
Speaker 1: now you've got to be willing to talk to somebody

1157
00:57:52,040 --> 00:57:54,360
Speaker 1: that wants to talk though, and that's what sucks. Yeah,

1158
00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:57,360
Speaker 1: that's how do we conquer that? Because with you, the

1159
00:57:57,400 --> 00:58:00,800
Speaker 1: relationship with you is great because you love to talk

1160
00:58:01,680 --> 00:58:03,720
Speaker 1: and when you see something wrong, you want to you

1161
00:58:03,720 --> 00:58:06,680
Speaker 1: want to finish that right away, right, and I love

1162
00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:09,160
Speaker 1: that about you. We'll talk about it right now. We're

1163
00:58:09,160 --> 00:58:12,880
Speaker 1: not waiting right right, but I would encourage that to

1164
00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:14,880
Speaker 1: you to do that with your family members to like

1165
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:18,560
Speaker 1: not on the phone, show up like in person, being like, listen,

1166
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:22,479
Speaker 1: this is it. Let's have this conversation right now. Let's

1167
00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:25,040
Speaker 1: sit down and talk. Don't walk away from me. This

1168
00:58:25,120 --> 00:58:27,080
Speaker 1: is it. This is our moment to get this out

1169
00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:29,240
Speaker 1: in the open. I'm serious about it. And I think

1170
00:58:29,280 --> 00:58:32,200
Speaker 1: sometimes when people try and do that over phone calls

1171
00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:34,840
Speaker 1: or text or emails, obviously that doesn't work, you know

1172
00:58:34,920 --> 00:58:37,440
Speaker 1: what I mean. But face to face has a different impact.

1173
00:58:37,840 --> 00:58:40,360
Speaker 1: And like, it is important to sit down and look

1174
00:58:40,400 --> 00:58:43,040
Speaker 1: someone in the eye and say what you're feeling, because

1175
00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:45,120
Speaker 1: people have to see your emotions and they have to

1176
00:58:45,120 --> 00:58:46,960
Speaker 1: see how much it hurts you that a grudge is

1177
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:50,200
Speaker 1: being held, and how baseless that is and how short

1178
00:58:50,280 --> 00:58:53,360
Speaker 1: life is and how small that behavior is. So I

1179
00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:55,840
Speaker 1: would just say talk. I would say, just push it.

1180
00:58:55,960 --> 00:58:58,280
Speaker 1: You know, the next time you're in a position to

1181
00:58:58,360 --> 00:59:01,080
Speaker 1: confront that person, go and go out of your way,

1182
00:59:01,400 --> 00:59:03,920
Speaker 1: set aside the time and go and have that conversation,

1183
00:59:04,520 --> 00:59:07,360
Speaker 1: because you'd be surprised. You know, people just give up,

1184
00:59:07,360 --> 00:59:10,800
Speaker 1: and that's half the problem. I think people hate swallowing

1185
00:59:10,800 --> 00:59:13,000
Speaker 1: their own pride to what they do. People hate to

1186
00:59:13,040 --> 00:59:16,640
Speaker 1: be wrong. But if you know that then you already

1187
00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:20,720
Speaker 1: have an advantage over the person that hates to be wrong. Right,

1188
00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:23,080
Speaker 1: you know that, so you can act in a bigger way.

1189
00:59:24,440 --> 00:59:27,760
Speaker 1: Great problem solved. Okay, So thank you for joining us

1190
00:59:27,760 --> 00:59:30,800
Speaker 1: on our season two premiere episode, Joe Coy. It was

1191
00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:34,640
Speaker 1: a pleasure having you as usual. And what else do

1192
00:59:34,680 --> 00:59:36,680
Speaker 1: we want to say? Joe? Oh? You know what I

1193
00:59:36,680 --> 00:59:39,200
Speaker 1: want to say to girls out there who have guys

1194
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:43,120
Speaker 1: in their lives that they think are their friends, or

1195
00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:47,480
Speaker 1: that they don't necessarily feel like there's an attraction or

1196
00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:50,560
Speaker 1: they feel like a brother dynamic, I would really encourage

1197
00:59:50,560 --> 00:59:55,440
Speaker 1: you to just really consider how important it is to

1198
00:59:55,560 --> 00:59:59,480
Speaker 1: have somebody who loves and respects you like that is,

1199
00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:02,040
Speaker 1: barn on, the most important thing that you can get

1200
01:00:02,080 --> 01:00:05,160
Speaker 1: from another human being, never mind somebody that you're in

1201
01:00:05,200 --> 01:00:08,760
Speaker 1: love with. So that is the foundation of everything, right,

1202
01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:11,160
Speaker 1: is love and respect. You want to be seen and

1203
01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:13,400
Speaker 1: you want to be heard, and if you have somebody

1204
01:00:13,400 --> 01:00:15,439
Speaker 1: in your life that is like that, and you think,

1205
01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:18,720
Speaker 1: oh no, please be a little bit more open minded,

1206
01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:21,680
Speaker 1: because I'm the happiest I've ever been and it's because

1207
01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:25,160
Speaker 1: I finally had an open mind instead of a closed one.

1208
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:28,640
Speaker 1: So I think we can end on that I love you.

1209
01:00:28,720 --> 01:00:31,280
Speaker 1: How's that I want to end on that, thanks for coming, Joe.

1210
01:00:31,440 --> 01:00:32,760
Speaker 1: Joe and I are going to go to the airport

1211
01:00:32,840 --> 01:00:35,320
Speaker 1: right now, and then we're going to spend six hours

1212
01:00:35,600 --> 01:00:37,880
Speaker 1: looking at each other from across the aisle on the plane,

1213
01:00:38,040 --> 01:00:41,720
Speaker 1: probably while he takes pictures of me, because that's what

1214
01:00:41,800 --> 01:00:44,160
Speaker 1: our last flight was like. Right and then and then

1215
01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:49,840
Speaker 1: she looks like she's building a nest. That's what her look. Immediately.

1216
01:00:50,640 --> 01:00:52,800
Speaker 1: I put it in reclined before we even take off.

1217
01:00:53,120 --> 01:01:00,280
Speaker 1: I have my pillow ready as put my socks on. Snacks. Yeah, TV,

1218
01:01:00,400 --> 01:01:03,120
Speaker 1: that doesn't work. Even though it does work, I can't

1219
01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:06,760
Speaker 1: work it anyway. That's enough. Thank you, have a great week.

1220
01:01:06,800 --> 01:01:09,560
Speaker 1: We'll see you next week. And if you want to

1221
01:01:09,560 --> 01:01:11,280
Speaker 1: see more of Joe, you can come over to my

1222
01:01:11,320 --> 01:01:14,520
Speaker 1: house or you can find him hosting Metal Shop Masters,

1223
01:01:14,560 --> 01:01:18,240
Speaker 1: which is on Netflix and it was released September ten.

1224
01:01:18,760 --> 01:01:22,520
Speaker 1: And please buy his book, his autobiography, it's called Mixed

1225
01:01:22,520 --> 01:01:26,200
Speaker 1: Plate Chronicles of an All American Combo. And also you

1226
01:01:26,240 --> 01:01:28,840
Speaker 1: can buy tickets for his Just Kidding World tour. If

1227
01:01:28,840 --> 01:01:31,640
Speaker 1: you've never seen Joe Coy perform live, you need to

1228
01:01:31,680 --> 01:01:35,160
Speaker 1: go because it's not only a stand up show. It's

1229
01:01:35,200 --> 01:01:39,880
Speaker 1: a fucking concert. It is so fun and he sings

1230
01:01:39,920 --> 01:01:43,520
Speaker 1: and he dances and it's like, oh my god, the

1231
01:01:43,640 --> 01:01:47,720
Speaker 1: vibes are so fun. Oh and everybody, I am performing

1232
01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:50,120
Speaker 1: this weekend. I am picking back up my Vaccinated and

1233
01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:53,120
Speaker 1: Horny tour. If you don't have tickets, please get them

1234
01:01:53,600 --> 01:01:58,040
Speaker 1: Chelsea Handler dot com and going to Norfolk, Virginia, Hanover, Maryland,

1235
01:01:58,320 --> 01:02:01,880
Speaker 1: and Northfield, Ohio, two of those places I've never been.

1236
01:02:02,280 --> 01:02:07,040
Speaker 1: So that's October ninth. I will be coming to Virginia, Maryland, Ohio,

1237
01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:11,480
Speaker 1: So please get your tickets. I can't wait to see everybody. Okay, guys,

1238
01:02:11,480 --> 01:02:11,880
Speaker 1: thanks