WEBVTT - Post-COVID Etiquette: The Dos and Don’ts 0:00:01.360 --> 0:00:04.760 Really now, really. 0:00:06.760 --> 0:00:11.479 Really now really Hello, and welcome to Really No Really 0:00:11.680 --> 0:00:14.200 Jase Now, Elexander and Peter Tilden remind you that if 0:00:14.200 --> 0:00:16.919 you listen to and enjoy our show, it is proper 0:00:17.000 --> 0:00:21.440 etiquette to subscribe. Now, let's talk a little bit about etiquette, 0:00:21.440 --> 0:00:25.520 because in our post COVID world, societal rules have changed. 0:00:25.280 --> 0:00:27.520 And a host of brand new rules have emerged. 0:00:27.640 --> 0:00:30.000 But the vast majority of us are unaware of these 0:00:30.080 --> 0:00:33.559 rules and unsure about how to consider and implement them. 0:00:33.560 --> 0:00:36.599 But not the good folks at New York Magazine, who 0:00:36.640 --> 0:00:40.400 have codified and clarified the guidelines on how we should 0:00:40.520 --> 0:00:43.200 all be living into one hundred and ninety four modern 0:00:43.280 --> 0:00:44.400 etiquette rules for. 0:00:44.440 --> 0:00:47.720 Life after COVID Really No Really, Today, we. 0:00:47.760 --> 0:00:51.680 Chat with New York Magazine editor Corey Seeka, who previously 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:54.120 made waves as co editor at Gawker and was the 0:00:54.160 --> 0:00:55.200 former editor. 0:00:54.960 --> 0:00:57.120 At the styles desk of The New York Times. 0:00:57.360 --> 0:00:59.960 You'll learn whether it's okay to email, text, or dam 0:01:00.200 --> 0:01:03.240 at any hour, whether it's now acceptable to discipline your 0:01:03.240 --> 0:01:06.200 friend's children, and if there's ever a time when it's 0:01:06.240 --> 0:01:09.360 acceptable to be a Karen assuming your name is not 0:01:09.560 --> 0:01:12.399 actually Karen, in which case it's usually fine. 0:01:12.840 --> 0:01:13.759 Here's Jason and Peter. 0:01:16.400 --> 0:01:17.280 So we're talking today. 0:01:17.319 --> 0:01:19.800 We're going to talk about rules, rules in the new world, 0:01:19.840 --> 0:01:27.840 because honestly, it feels like like society is changing rapidly. Yes, 0:01:27.920 --> 0:01:30.920 and the sort of etiquette, the dues and don'ts that 0:01:30.959 --> 0:01:33.080 I grew up with when Anne Landers was the go 0:01:33.200 --> 0:01:37.280 to and the guru and you they're not necessarily holding 0:01:37.319 --> 0:01:38.039 try some of them do. 0:01:38.160 --> 0:01:39.000 Some of them are time test. 0:01:39.160 --> 0:01:41.360 There's also a new technology that's knew everything so so. 0:01:41.520 --> 0:01:44.080 And by the way, I know, one of the new 0:01:44.160 --> 0:01:45.680 rules that we're going to be talking about in a 0:01:45.720 --> 0:01:48.160 minute is you can use COVID as an excuse for anything. 0:01:48.160 --> 0:01:51.320 Because I think one of the writers, either the person 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:53.560 we're talking to or somebody who did the research, said, 0:01:53.880 --> 0:01:55.640 you know what, we got to turn into a positive. 0:01:55.680 --> 0:01:58.240 We got to use it somehow us for a positive. 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:01.120 And I admit there have been quite a few times 0:02:01.160 --> 0:02:03.240 where I said I think I may have COVID, and 0:02:03.280 --> 0:02:08.040 I just I don't want You've used it? Yes, come on, Jay, 0:02:08.160 --> 0:02:09.040 look at me in the eye. 0:02:09.120 --> 0:02:11.880 But no, what I'll tell you how I've used it 0:02:12.240 --> 0:02:15.320 because it's been a net positive for me when I 0:02:15.880 --> 0:02:16.960 particularly when I fly. 0:02:17.360 --> 0:02:20.000 I continue to use the face mask, which. 0:02:19.760 --> 0:02:23.520 Is brilliant because it helps cut down on the recognizability. 0:02:23.560 --> 0:02:26.080 And it's just it's a little less can I can? 0:02:26.160 --> 0:02:28.520 How much does that work? The recognizability is that about 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:31.760 fifty to fifty? If I talk, forget it, I guess 0:02:31.840 --> 0:02:34.040 my voice has become But most of the time people 0:02:34.040 --> 0:02:34.520 don't see it. 0:02:34.560 --> 0:02:36.840 But if I have, if I have any kind of 0:02:36.840 --> 0:02:41.480 facial hair and a hat and my sunglasses and the mask, 0:02:41.600 --> 0:02:42.120 it's pretty good. 0:02:42.120 --> 0:02:44.280 Bye, way pretty good. So let's do the new rules. 0:02:44.320 --> 0:02:46.280 You want to get, So this is you got a 0:02:46.360 --> 0:02:49.280 guy of the new rules. 0:02:49.400 --> 0:02:52.720 Corey Seeka is a writer, a blogger, an editor a 0:02:52.840 --> 0:02:54.680 New York magazine, was the editor of the New York 0:02:54.720 --> 0:02:57.399 Times Star Section. Also, he wrote a book called Very 0:02:57.440 --> 0:03:02.480 Recent History, an extremely fact account of for a year 0:03:03.000 --> 0:03:04.600 in a very large city, which seems to be a 0:03:04.639 --> 0:03:07.040 very interesting book. And he was involved in all of 0:03:07.080 --> 0:03:09.480 these new rules, the new rules for the way we should. 0:03:09.200 --> 0:03:11.520 Live and now. And it's lovely to meet you, lovely 0:03:12.280 --> 0:03:14.520 welcome to thanks for having me. 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:18.280 Absolutely so the new the new rules. Let's get into 0:03:18.320 --> 0:03:20.320 a bunch of you. You bring up the ones that 0:03:20.400 --> 0:03:23.079 you like the best and then we can talk about pushback. 0:03:23.160 --> 0:03:24.960 We can talk about all kinds of stuff once we 0:03:25.040 --> 0:03:27.520 hear the ones that resonate with you the most. 0:03:27.919 --> 0:03:30.920 Sure, I mean, and this all happened here because I 0:03:30.919 --> 0:03:32.400 don't know what your experiences were like. 0:03:32.440 --> 0:03:34.520 But you know, people got a little fuzzy, like a 0:03:34.560 --> 0:03:34.960 lot of us. 0:03:35.120 --> 0:03:37.200 I mean, I know you two gentlemen don't always work 0:03:37.200 --> 0:03:38.960 in an office, but like a lot of stuff point 0:03:39.000 --> 0:03:42.760 of offices and like you know, Bill Bluster, sort of 0:03:43.280 --> 0:03:46.040 the basic ways of like how we all like intertwine 0:03:46.040 --> 0:03:46.520 and get along. 0:03:46.600 --> 0:03:49.120 Sure, so what are the some and that is the 0:03:49.280 --> 0:03:51.760 and that generated the new rules? But before you jump 0:03:51.840 --> 0:03:55.120 into what some of these new rules are? How how 0:03:55.520 --> 0:03:58.160 how do I ask this? How do you have the 0:03:58.200 --> 0:04:00.840 stones to be the operator of these rules? 0:04:01.080 --> 0:04:03.120 Who decided you no? Serious? 0:04:03.200 --> 0:04:05.440 How did you come to go? I think I could 0:04:05.600 --> 0:04:09.240 I could be a good arbiter for lack of a 0:04:09.240 --> 0:04:10.440 better word of what is right? 0:04:10.480 --> 0:04:13.200 What is wrong? Or the or the even the progenitor 0:04:13.280 --> 0:04:14.040 of such rules. 0:04:14.960 --> 0:04:17.680 That's a that's a very fair question with many excellent 0:04:17.720 --> 0:04:20.320 words in it. 0:04:21.000 --> 0:04:23.520 Yeah, so we we did. We had a team at 0:04:23.560 --> 0:04:25.120 New York, like we did this as a group together. 0:04:25.120 --> 0:04:27.840 It was sort of a group homework project, and we 0:04:27.880 --> 0:04:29.719 also like pulled the entire staff. 0:04:29.720 --> 0:04:30.719 We pulled our friends. 0:04:30.760 --> 0:04:32.960 Like we spent a lot of time making lists and 0:04:33.200 --> 0:04:34.320 then making fun of each other. 0:04:34.520 --> 0:04:36.520 And then and then we wouldn't kick the tires. 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:38.920 So people would tell us ideas for a rule, and 0:04:39.000 --> 0:04:41.520 then we'd like go try it out, and they sometimes worked, 0:04:41.520 --> 0:04:43.880 and they sometimes did, so like we do, we get 0:04:43.880 --> 0:04:44.760 a little rotesting. 0:04:44.839 --> 0:04:47.400 You know, it was pretty. It was pretty. It was pretty. 0:04:47.800 --> 0:04:48.880 You know, at the end of the day, we were 0:04:48.960 --> 0:04:50.440 some of it was just for fun though. 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:53.720 Sure sure, all right, So with that in mind, now 0:04:53.760 --> 0:04:56.159 that I know we're talking to a bona fide expert, 0:04:56.600 --> 0:04:57.440 not just some guy. 0:04:57.839 --> 0:05:01.359 Do you put these these are some pushback, we'll talk about. 0:05:01.160 --> 0:05:01.640 The push break. 0:05:01.680 --> 0:05:05.440 Oh yeah later, Okay, I'm sure something we have here. 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:08.039 So we have favorites, But what are some of your favorites? 0:05:08.080 --> 0:05:10.440 What are the ones that have proven to be either 0:05:11.080 --> 0:05:13.360 really fun or really accurate? 0:05:14.360 --> 0:05:15.719 So I mean, and also. 0:05:15.600 --> 0:05:17.400 Some of this and I'll give you one here, but 0:05:17.520 --> 0:05:20.720 like and it'll play differently in LA, then it'll play 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:22.800 in New York, then they'll play in Chicago. So like 0:05:22.800 --> 0:05:25.560 they always don't forget that etiquette is sort of local too. 0:05:26.000 --> 0:05:29.080 So one of my favorites is if you've met someone 0:05:29.440 --> 0:05:32.880 and they're like trying to place you, just be like, Hi, 0:05:33.360 --> 0:05:35.279 we've met I'm Corey, you know what I mean, Like 0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:38.160 you just come out and sort of reintroduce yourself as somebody. 0:05:38.440 --> 0:05:41.720 People will get offended, but like we've forgotten that. Like, 0:05:42.120 --> 0:05:43.720 you know, we think everyone knows each other's names. You 0:05:43.760 --> 0:05:46.320 see someone's face on social media, you know, it's like 0:05:46.600 --> 0:05:48.960 you gotta you gotta give them a little, a little hand, 0:05:49.000 --> 0:05:49.880 just give him a little help. 0:05:50.080 --> 0:05:52.279 And so little ones like that make me really happy. 0:05:52.520 --> 0:05:55.680 Yeah, that's My wife has a thing called, uh, I 0:05:55.680 --> 0:05:59.000 think I'm saying it right, plazo pagnostia, where she has 0:05:59.120 --> 0:05:59.880 face blindness. 0:06:00.440 --> 0:06:03.120 She really does not chronic the way I've met some 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:03.640 people do. 0:06:03.920 --> 0:06:07.040 But if she hasn't spent a fair amount of time 0:06:07.080 --> 0:06:09.200 with you, and she hasn't seen you in the day two, three, four, 0:06:09.839 --> 0:06:12.560 she will not recognize your face immediately. And so it's 0:06:12.560 --> 0:06:15.080 of great help if somebody says, Hi, I'm so and so. 0:06:15.120 --> 0:06:17.120 We met at so and so's party, and she's, oh, god, 0:06:17.160 --> 0:06:17.839 thank you so much. 0:06:18.760 --> 0:06:20.440 So Yeah that makes you feel good. 0:06:20.520 --> 0:06:23.279 Right, Wait a minute, So now, I can go up 0:06:23.279 --> 0:06:25.560 to people who I don't give a didn't learn the name, 0:06:25.560 --> 0:06:28.800 didn't bother and go, Hi, I have p plagnocy. 0:06:28.960 --> 0:06:30.640 Yeah say that? All right? What else you got, Corey? 0:06:30.720 --> 0:06:32.839 What are the rules that we should know? You know? 0:06:32.960 --> 0:06:35.120 A similar vein? Like we're going with basics here. 0:06:35.360 --> 0:06:38.479 Like the thing we finally realized was, whenever you tell 0:06:38.520 --> 0:06:40.680 someone they look like someone else, you're just being Can 0:06:40.760 --> 0:06:41.239 I say. 0:06:41.040 --> 0:06:41.800 You're just being an ass? 0:06:42.480 --> 0:06:45.039 Like it's just like even if it's like even if 0:06:45.040 --> 0:06:46.760 it's like I'm saying like, oh you look like Tom Cruise, 0:06:46.760 --> 0:06:47.480 you're gonna be like the. 0:06:48.520 --> 0:06:50.200 You know what I mean? Like, you can't win. 0:06:50.400 --> 0:06:53.159 There's no no one. No one feels good here. Just 0:06:53.240 --> 0:06:54.800 don't ever see one. 0:06:54.960 --> 0:06:56.640 All right, let me let me see if I can 0:06:56.680 --> 0:06:58.480 turn it into a year. So I understand not going 0:06:58.560 --> 0:07:00.280 up to somebody and going, hey, you know who. 0:07:00.240 --> 0:07:00.760 You look like? 0:07:01.000 --> 0:07:04.560 But is it okay if I go if somebody says, hey, 0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:07.400 look for my friend, Uh, they're gonna be at the diner. 0:07:07.480 --> 0:07:09.119 I may be they're a little late. Is it okay 0:07:09.120 --> 0:07:10.520 to go? Who does he look like? 0:07:11.440 --> 0:07:12.960 Oh yeah, that's a good one. That's fun. 0:07:13.160 --> 0:07:14.560 That's fine because then you get to play a little 0:07:14.600 --> 0:07:16.280 game with them, and that's sort of like cute and 0:07:16.320 --> 0:07:16.800 on your own. 0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:19.680 Keep that right, you're right here, Well, hold on, I 0:07:19.760 --> 0:07:22.240 got something on my throw Sean Hayes A little bit. 0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:25.000 Really, yeah, a little bit, A little bit. Yeah. 0:07:25.040 --> 0:07:25.960 See, it doesn't feel good. 0:07:26.960 --> 0:07:29.440 I just want to now. 0:07:29.480 --> 0:07:31.560 I just feel like I'll feel like I'm the failed actor. 0:07:31.600 --> 0:07:32.080 And he had the. 0:07:33.720 --> 0:07:36.640 Sorry, I just had to test it, right, okay, yes, 0:07:36.720 --> 0:07:38.000 all right, look at him. 0:07:38.000 --> 0:07:40.760 I just really. 0:07:42.040 --> 0:07:44.240 Changed his behavior. I'm so sorry. I just had to 0:07:44.240 --> 0:07:45.480 test It was a joke. It was. 0:07:47.040 --> 0:07:48.920 As long as it's fun, as long as we're laughing out. 0:07:48.960 --> 0:07:53.000 But she now, yeah there, yeah, I get that all 0:07:53.040 --> 0:07:55.200 the time. So what can I tell you? It feel 0:07:55.240 --> 0:07:57.600 makes you, makes you feel I get that. 0:07:57.720 --> 0:07:59.840 I get people all the time going, does anyone ever 0:07:59.840 --> 0:08:02.240 to you look like the actor on sein film? 0:08:02.480 --> 0:08:04.680 I get that? He said a lot. I go every day. 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:06.360 That's all what I say. 0:08:06.880 --> 0:08:08.520 You gotta have a good stock line for these things. 0:08:08.560 --> 0:08:09.360 You gotta try them. 0:08:09.240 --> 0:08:09.760 Out, you know what. 0:08:09.800 --> 0:08:13.320 Just all of a sudden turned said, We're gonna rule 0:08:13.360 --> 0:08:16.560 our way out of this guary for years. 0:08:16.400 --> 0:08:18.480 Here's an important one, all right, So you know, every 0:08:18.520 --> 0:08:20.000 once in a while, you end up doing karaoke. 0:08:20.120 --> 0:08:22.760 You guys probably do this like once a week karaoke. 0:08:22.920 --> 0:08:25.240 Sure, yes, you're out there every three times. In fact, 0:08:25.280 --> 0:08:28.120 let's meat this up. I gotta be home for carry four. 0:08:30.600 --> 0:08:31.880 Like it's like lunchtime in l A. 0:08:32.679 --> 0:08:35.760 The You should a lot of songs contain words that you, 0:08:36.040 --> 0:08:37.920 particularly if you are a white person. 0:08:37.760 --> 0:08:38.560 Should not repeat. 0:08:38.960 --> 0:08:42.319 Sure, I don't tend to put those in my karaoke playlist, 0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:43.360 but listen. 0:08:43.080 --> 0:08:46.000 It happens like so you know the world is crazy, 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:48.400 but like that's just there's a word you you you 0:08:48.440 --> 0:08:50.280 substitute a nice word like friends. 0:08:50.760 --> 0:08:53.080 Sure, yep, you know that's part of that. 0:08:53.120 --> 0:08:55.320 By the way, I remember, for your listeners, if you're white, 0:08:55.800 --> 0:08:58.160 you must call him fifty cents. 0:08:57.960 --> 0:09:09.600 Right, you don't call him yeah. 0:09:04.640 --> 0:09:05.040 All right. 0:09:05.160 --> 0:09:08.680 It's just when you guys came up with that one 0:09:09.360 --> 0:09:13.240 about you know, substitute words if you're white. Did was 0:09:13.280 --> 0:09:16.120 that because someone in the group knew of someone who 0:09:16.600 --> 0:09:18.760 got that wrong and. 0:09:18.679 --> 0:09:20.400 In some cases got it got it right. 0:09:20.480 --> 0:09:23.640 Like I actually had seen a white friend like really 0:09:23.800 --> 0:09:29.040 reasonably and like nicely maneuver through a karaoke session that 0:09:29.080 --> 0:09:30.800 could have been incredibly fraught and could have. 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:33.160 Got is like the wrongest night of all time. 0:09:33.200 --> 0:09:34.120 Wow, she did great. 0:09:34.160 --> 0:09:37.880 She totally was like and I thought, you know what, 0:09:37.920 --> 0:09:39.640 I am glad I saw this. 0:09:40.440 --> 0:09:42.839 Yeah. Yeah, this was the only one. 0:09:43.080 --> 0:09:44.920 There were many in the lists that jumped out at 0:09:44.960 --> 0:09:47.160 me as both yes indeed, and some that I have 0:09:47.240 --> 0:09:49.880 questions about, But this was the one that really I went, 0:09:50.679 --> 0:09:52.559 I have a question because I don't even know what 0:09:52.600 --> 0:09:56.920 it quite means. There's one that is simply says, always wink. 0:09:58.840 --> 0:10:02.360 What does that mean? 0:10:02.480 --> 0:10:05.400 So like don't you find like, listen, we're we're men 0:10:05.440 --> 0:10:07.080 of a certain age, Like don't you find. 0:10:06.920 --> 0:10:10.800 Like certain like uh like mannerisms just like charming. 0:10:10.920 --> 0:10:15.520 It's just like we've decided that this was like winking 0:10:15.600 --> 0:10:17.520 is a communal charming? 0:10:18.320 --> 0:10:21.040 Uh, like bringing people together kind of like think we 0:10:21.080 --> 0:10:23.440 should bring back. It's a little a little dated, you 0:10:23.480 --> 0:10:25.440 know what I mean? And like people should feel like 0:10:25.480 --> 0:10:27.200 they're on a joke. 0:10:27.000 --> 0:10:28.000 With you at all times. 0:10:28.120 --> 0:10:29.840 So are you using it for the I get it? 0:10:30.200 --> 0:10:32.760 I'm kidding, I got it, you got one. You got it? 0:10:33.080 --> 0:10:33.200 Uh. 0:10:33.520 --> 0:10:36.800 And it's a little campy, it's like a little big belt. 0:10:36.960 --> 0:10:38.679 Yeah, but why do I feel that they can get 0:10:38.679 --> 0:10:40.280 you to hr immediately at work. 0:10:42.120 --> 0:10:44.319 I mean, you're not supposed to wink and smackle on 0:10:44.360 --> 0:10:44.679 the end. 0:10:45.040 --> 0:10:48.360 No, I understand that it's sort of like nice, you know, 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:49.640 like good meeting. 0:10:50.559 --> 0:10:52.640 I'm going right to write to the principal's office at 0:10:52.640 --> 0:10:54.800 that point. The other one that got me that was, 0:10:54.840 --> 0:10:57.360 and I know there's some pushback, is if you're going 0:10:57.400 --> 0:11:00.760 to a dinner party, don't tell them you allergic to this. 0:11:01.000 --> 0:11:04.280 You're glued free. And yes, right, I have that one. 0:11:04.360 --> 0:11:06.080 I don't foist your algy. 0:11:07.800 --> 0:11:09.559 Which is, by the way, if I'm the host of 0:11:09.600 --> 0:11:12.000 the party I'm going to I'm going to ask, right. 0:11:12.040 --> 0:11:13.480 But I have people all the time. 0:11:13.520 --> 0:11:16.280 We had somebody was well known, well known, the wife 0:11:16.360 --> 0:11:18.280 is well known, and said to my wife, we said, 0:11:18.280 --> 0:11:19.679 we're going to have some Mexican food, and they went, 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:23.200 I don't eat Mexican food. So we had Mexican food 0:11:23.320 --> 0:11:27.160 and Italian food, and then she proceeded the Italian food 0:11:27.200 --> 0:11:29.080 and the Mexican Mexican food. 0:11:29.200 --> 0:11:31.920 I have a friend who only within the last couple 0:11:31.960 --> 0:11:33.960 of years became vegan. 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:35.719 We used to have them over for. 0:11:35.760 --> 0:11:40.040 Barbecues vegan, and now I go, I don't want to 0:11:40.160 --> 0:11:43.720 have to take care of you. I don't want to 0:11:43.720 --> 0:11:46.640 have to open a whole of the section just for you. 0:11:47.360 --> 0:11:49.800 It's like having a kosher home. This is the meat section, 0:11:49.920 --> 0:11:51.000 this is the dairy sect. 0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:54.520 Rabbi, that's over there. So Cory, what do you say, 0:11:54.520 --> 0:11:55.800 what's the definitive on that? 0:11:56.960 --> 0:11:59.000 I mean, listen, this is again, this is going to 0:11:59.040 --> 0:12:01.240 read a little differently in LA because in LA you're 0:12:01.240 --> 0:12:02.480 going to get the whole laundry list. 0:12:02.559 --> 0:12:03.559 Oh it's night shades. 0:12:04.080 --> 0:12:06.800 Yeah, right, exactly so, and that's fine, Like that's just 0:12:06.840 --> 0:12:09.240 the culture of Los Angeles. That's you know, you guys 0:12:09.280 --> 0:12:13.280 did this yourself, So it's you know what, honestly, you 0:12:13.280 --> 0:12:15.560 should take care of yourself, like you honestly, Like there's 0:12:15.559 --> 0:12:16.120 things I don't eat. 0:12:16.160 --> 0:12:18.079 There's things I don't drink. I don't eat, and I 0:12:18.080 --> 0:12:19.640 don't drink them, and I leave everyone in the hell. 0:12:19.800 --> 0:12:21.960 Oh yeah, yeah, you know what, It's exactly right. 0:12:22.000 --> 0:12:23.120 And by the way, you can eat later on the 0:12:23.120 --> 0:12:25.280 way home, getting in an outburger or something not that 0:12:25.320 --> 0:12:27.239 you're not going there to eat, going there to sociale. 0:12:27.440 --> 0:12:29.720 Right, all right, Although you know the new thing now 0:12:29.760 --> 0:12:32.439 that everyone's on the drugs, on the ozempics and the whatnot, 0:12:32.559 --> 0:12:35.160 is that people are like sort of forgetting. I saw 0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:36.839 to a friend today. She said, I was at a 0:12:36.840 --> 0:12:39.800 dinner party last night on a Sunday night, and people, 0:12:39.920 --> 0:12:42.000 she put the chicken in it like ten pm because 0:12:42.040 --> 0:12:46.240 she just didn't care. She wasn't hungry anymore, and like starting, 0:12:46.280 --> 0:12:46.920 Oh my. 0:12:46.840 --> 0:12:49.760 God, I've never thought of that. Oh this could this 0:12:49.800 --> 0:12:50.719 could be the end of. 0:12:51.600 --> 0:12:55.120 Or dinner party. No food. Yeah, oh yeah. 0:12:55.360 --> 0:12:59.319 It's okay to email, text or direct message anyone at 0:12:59.320 --> 0:12:59.920 any hour. 0:13:00.480 --> 0:13:05.200 All right, people are mad over this. Still, here's my deal. 0:13:05.520 --> 0:13:07.520 And people who are mad at us are like, my 0:13:07.679 --> 0:13:09.360 mother is dying and I need to be able to 0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:11.800 get texts from anyone at any time, Like you know what, 0:13:11.840 --> 0:13:13.920 You're right, I'm sorry, But the rest of us are 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:15.319 in charge of our phones. 0:13:15.559 --> 0:13:17.880 Like I get my friends text me at two in 0:13:17.920 --> 0:13:18.280 the morning. 0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:21.719 I have my phone notifications turned off because I'm in bed, 0:13:22.320 --> 0:13:24.160 like that is part of being an adult now. 0:13:24.200 --> 0:13:26.280 And if you can't handle it, like get rid of 0:13:26.320 --> 0:13:27.440 your phone. 0:13:27.559 --> 0:13:30.719 Oh right, I like it. I like it. Not only 0:13:30.720 --> 0:13:33.199 do you have rules, you have consequences. I like it. 0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:35.760 Thank you. It's a global world. 0:13:35.600 --> 0:13:38.960 Going into the er now. I thought you should know. 0:13:39.320 --> 0:13:43.240 You don't want me to a guilt text. 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:47.040 You know, it's always either not important or it's just 0:13:47.080 --> 0:13:47.720 really horny. 0:13:47.960 --> 0:13:51.400 Exactly, all right? How about this one. You can discipline 0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:56.320 your friends your friends kids, but not the strangers discipline. 0:13:56.360 --> 0:13:58.960 Have you ever disciplined your friends kids trying. 0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:01.400 To discipline their parents on because mostly what I'm seeing 0:14:01.600 --> 0:14:04.880 with problem kids is just terrible parenting. I'm mad at 0:14:04.920 --> 0:14:06.600 my best friend right now. Can you tell I'm mad? 0:14:06.640 --> 0:14:10.280 I'm really worked up about this kid? Ah smack these parents. 0:14:10.280 --> 0:14:12.840 The kids find the kids a kiddies blameless. 0:14:12.720 --> 0:14:15.400 So do the do the parents? But I discipplinting. 0:14:15.440 --> 0:14:18.600 Could you discipline a friend's kids, a friend's kid, a 0:14:18.600 --> 0:14:21.280 friend's kid, Well, I. 0:14:20.840 --> 0:14:23.240 I think of discipline in a very different way. 0:14:23.480 --> 0:14:27.120 I'm not I'm not gonna you know, I'm not going 0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:32.240 to spank, I'm not gonna yell at them. I have 0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:36.880 absolutely said to a friend's kid who did something I went. 0:14:48.240 --> 0:14:52.520 I have absolutely said to a friend's kid who did 0:14:52.560 --> 0:14:56.800 something I went, you know that hurts my feelings. 0:14:58.760 --> 0:15:01.000 That's really good, that's a amazing. You know what I 0:15:01.040 --> 0:15:02.600 wish you would discipline my whole family. 0:15:04.000 --> 0:15:04.600 Oh you did that? 0:15:04.680 --> 0:15:06.480 This is how well, that's it's it's the you. This 0:15:06.560 --> 0:15:08.320 is this is how you make me feel. 0:15:08.480 --> 0:15:12.560 There's no it's not you know, I'm not gonna First 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:14.200 of all, I don't believe in corporate punishment, but I 0:15:14.400 --> 0:15:15.040 mean I wouldn't. 0:15:16.600 --> 0:15:20.800 Yeah, I wouldn't threaten a child. I wouldn't, you know, 0:15:21.040 --> 0:15:22.560 but I think you can. I think you. 0:15:22.720 --> 0:15:25.120 I think by the way I would say that to 0:15:25.120 --> 0:15:29.880 to a strangers child, I would go, hey, listen, you 0:15:29.920 --> 0:15:31.760 get to say what what you feel. But I just 0:15:31.800 --> 0:15:35.600 want you to know what you've said. That's very, very nice. 0:15:35.840 --> 0:15:37.320 You've heard my feeling. I think we're up, Laurie. 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:40.080 Whatever kind of award though, podcast got for a nice 0:15:40.080 --> 0:15:42.560 moment because it's our only one, and. 0:15:42.720 --> 0:15:47.200 You had one that I that I I don't. I 0:15:47.240 --> 0:15:49.600 think I'm I'm still guilty of it and I and 0:15:49.640 --> 0:15:50.520 I don't want to be. 0:15:51.440 --> 0:15:52.680 It's something I've really worked on. 0:15:52.760 --> 0:15:55.480 But this is a really good one where you wrote 0:15:55.640 --> 0:15:59.080 listening is not the time to silently rehearse what you 0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:02.840 want to say next, and I think so many of 0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:09.640 us are to really be a full listener is not 0:16:09.800 --> 0:16:12.840 a skill we are taught, and it's not one that's 0:16:12.880 --> 0:16:17.120 easily acquired. What was the reaction to that one ory. 0:16:17.560 --> 0:16:21.280 I mean, is it something that if you guys, you know, 0:16:21.320 --> 0:16:23.920 put it down. Is it something that came up a 0:16:23.960 --> 0:16:26.320 lot in your group, or is it something that someone 0:16:26.440 --> 0:16:27.160 was working. 0:16:26.880 --> 0:16:29.920 On or Yeah, it was a little personal this one. 0:16:29.960 --> 0:16:30.200 It was. 0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:32.280 And this was sort of a sleeper like this one 0:16:32.360 --> 0:16:34.440 didn't get a lot of attention, but actually when we 0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:36.680 did talk about it with people, it was like it 0:16:36.680 --> 0:16:40.640 it always led to these kind of intense, like serious 0:16:40.680 --> 0:16:43.560 moments like this, which I really appreciate, Like this one. 0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:45.440 I mean, I'm not I hope he doesn't listen, but 0:16:45.480 --> 0:16:46.960 I'm going to say this one came up with my 0:16:47.000 --> 0:16:50.440 spouse and part of it was like we were sometimes 0:16:50.440 --> 0:16:52.800 having conversations and I was like I can see him 0:16:52.880 --> 0:16:56.000 looking up and thinking about what he wants to put 0:16:56.040 --> 0:16:56.520 in next. 0:16:56.880 --> 0:16:58.120 I'm still saying. 0:16:57.880 --> 0:17:00.720 My words, and I was like, you know, and I 0:17:00.760 --> 0:17:02.840 would be like, hey, I need you to come back 0:17:02.960 --> 0:17:06.639 and like, you know, make the eye contact. So this 0:17:06.680 --> 0:17:08.480 came out of this experience, but a lot of people, 0:17:08.720 --> 0:17:10.640 a lot of really good talks with people about this one. 0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:14.000 Yeah, because because a lot of people can be you know, 0:17:14.080 --> 0:17:16.280 I wonder, I really do want to It just gets 0:17:16.320 --> 0:17:17.399 philosophical with me. 0:17:17.480 --> 0:17:18.360