WEBVTT - “MY ROOMMATE SLEPT WITH MY DAD” 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:05.480 Hello, Hello, Hi, Is this Lola and Blair? 0:00:08.080 --> 0:00:10.440 Yeah it is. Oh my gosh. 0:00:10.480 --> 0:00:12.039 I didn't think i'd actually get on here. 0:00:13.400 --> 0:00:17.760 I didn't think anyone would ever call. So we're just 0:00:17.800 --> 0:00:20.480 a couple of people on the phone on We were 0:00:20.520 --> 0:00:23.639 just a couple of people on a phone call that 0:00:23.760 --> 0:00:30.240 we never thought we would be on. Lola and Blair. 0:00:30.320 --> 0:00:36.080 It says here, uh and okay, it says here that 0:00:36.200 --> 0:00:41.640 you believe that one of your roommates slept with Lola's dad. 0:00:43.760 --> 0:00:46.320 And at first I read that, I was like, okay, 0:00:46.360 --> 0:00:49.159 this is you know, maybe a little bit of you know, 0:00:49.200 --> 0:00:52.440 how can you be so sure? But then it also 0:00:52.600 --> 0:00:58.840 says here that that Lola found evidence on her dad's 0:00:59.000 --> 0:01:04.800 phone to make her believe this. So I mean, let's 0:01:05.040 --> 0:01:10.679 let's let's hear let's let's hear this story. Am I 0:01:10.720 --> 0:01:12.000 talking to Lola or Blair? 0:01:13.640 --> 0:01:17.600 All right, Yeah, I'm talking to I put you on speaker, so. 0:01:18.240 --> 0:01:21.600 Let me put me who because I hear one of 0:01:21.600 --> 0:01:23.360 you guys is faint in the background, and one of 0:01:23.360 --> 0:01:25.560 you guys is pretty front and center. Let's put Lola 0:01:26.120 --> 0:01:29.200 front and center, have her hold the phone and Blair 0:01:29.280 --> 0:01:31.400 can can hover over it. Because I feel like this 0:01:32.440 --> 0:01:35.920 is is Lola's story to tell, at least in the beginning. 0:01:37.680 --> 0:01:41.720 Yeah, okay, so yeah, this is a little bit of 0:01:41.720 --> 0:01:42.560 a doozy. 0:01:42.680 --> 0:01:43.160 I admit. 0:01:43.760 --> 0:01:47.640 So Tommy, what's going on, Lola? 0:01:48.480 --> 0:01:54.800 Okay, So I recently transferred to college and this is 0:01:54.840 --> 0:02:00.120 my first time having roommates. So I have five I 0:02:00.120 --> 0:02:04.920 have other roommates, well technically sweet mates, but I room 0:02:05.040 --> 0:02:11.440 with one person. And so the person that I room with, Blair, 0:02:12.760 --> 0:02:16.680 I you know, I told her the entire story because 0:02:16.919 --> 0:02:24.239 one of our other sleep mates, Olivia. She uh, it's 0:02:24.280 --> 0:02:29.400 a little complicated. I don't know what exactly happened to 0:02:29.520 --> 0:02:33.880 trigger everything, like maybe like I was totally nice to her. 0:02:34.840 --> 0:02:37.000 I don't think I did anything bad. 0:02:38.200 --> 0:02:41.200 Hold on, I want to I wanna. I want to 0:02:41.240 --> 0:02:45.760 skip to sort of the I want to skip to 0:02:45.800 --> 0:02:48.240 what we know. Okay, So, so it's you, how many 0:02:48.240 --> 0:02:50.079 people live in this in this place? 0:02:52.120 --> 0:02:52.480 Okay? 0:02:52.600 --> 0:02:57.720 So I live with Blair, and then there is twoe 0:02:57.800 --> 0:03:02.679 rooms that are seeing rooms to one person just lives 0:03:02.680 --> 0:03:05.040 in that room, and then there's another room at the 0:03:05.200 --> 0:03:09.200 end and that has two other people in it, and 0:03:09.360 --> 0:03:12.120 we share a bathroom a shower. 0:03:12.240 --> 0:03:18.160 And okay, okay, well, so, so Olivia is the one 0:03:18.160 --> 0:03:22.960 that you believe slept with your dad. Yes, okay, So 0:03:23.200 --> 0:03:26.080 what is it that makes you But you said you 0:03:26.120 --> 0:03:28.840 found something on your dad's phone to make you believe 0:03:28.960 --> 0:03:32.480 that Olivia slept with him. What is it that you 0:03:32.520 --> 0:03:34.880 found on his phone that made you believe that? 0:03:36.960 --> 0:03:41.320 So it was Olivia's phone. I so I was on 0:03:41.400 --> 0:03:45.560 a phone because I think I was just on Snapchat 0:03:45.680 --> 0:03:48.120 or something. I asked to borrow her phone for you know, 0:03:48.240 --> 0:03:50.800 I forgot, but so I was on her phone bash 0:03:50.840 --> 0:03:53.480 just sick, and all of a sudden, like a message 0:03:53.480 --> 0:03:57.080 pops up and it's like heart emojis or something. But 0:03:58.760 --> 0:04:00.840 you know, I click on it because you know, element 0:04:01.040 --> 0:04:03.839 I'm a little nosy, So I click on it, right, 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:10.960 and the contact name is something like baby or like 0:04:11.240 --> 0:04:18.000 heart emojis, you know, something cheesy and corny whatever, and 0:04:18.000 --> 0:04:20.280 and you know, I click on it. I'm like, who 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:23.160 is this guy? Maybe I know him? So I click 0:04:23.200 --> 0:04:28.080 on it and I recognize the number and it's my 0:04:28.520 --> 0:04:36.039 bad number, and so I'm like, okay something. I'm like, 0:04:36.360 --> 0:04:39.880 obviously somebody's done. So I scroll through the messages and 0:04:41.520 --> 0:04:45.039 I'm saying, like there's a lot of like I miss 0:04:45.160 --> 0:04:50.080 you can't wait to see you next week heart emojis, 0:04:50.120 --> 0:04:57.000 some little inappropriate comments. And so I mean Olivia and 0:04:57.880 --> 0:05:00.400 my dad they've met before, because, you know, for moving 0:05:00.839 --> 0:05:03.599 my dad came up to the dorm, introduced himself to 0:05:03.680 --> 0:05:10.080 my roommates. But I didn't notice anything weird. I don't 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:14.120 know how they got each other's numbers, don't know. That's 0:05:14.120 --> 0:05:16.479 the only thing that you know, I can think of that. 0:05:16.560 --> 0:05:19.640 You know, they met on moving day to really like, 0:05:20.560 --> 0:05:25.520 you know, exchange numbers. Maybe he came up once after that, like, 0:05:27.480 --> 0:05:30.719 but I didn't see them inntor act at all. I 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:33.920 don't know. Just something is fishy. And I told there 0:05:33.960 --> 0:05:34.240 all of this. 0:05:34.800 --> 0:05:37.279 But we did put our phone numbers up just because 0:05:37.279 --> 0:05:39.320 we all admit it. It's like, on the first day, 0:05:39.800 --> 0:05:41.799 we all decided we should put each other's phone numbers 0:05:41.880 --> 0:05:44.520 up on we have like a little like mini markerboard 0:05:44.560 --> 0:05:46.640 on our fridge. So we each all did that. 0:05:46.920 --> 0:05:51.040 You think maybe, so we think we think maybe Lola's 0:05:51.120 --> 0:05:53.960 dad got Olivia's number from this whiteboard where everyone has 0:05:54.000 --> 0:05:54.599 their phone numbers. 0:05:55.240 --> 0:05:57.240 He like noticed her and was attracted to her. 0:05:57.360 --> 0:05:58.760 And then so. 0:06:00.400 --> 0:06:03.880 So so we have so you so so so what 0:06:03.880 --> 0:06:08.320 you're saying is correct. You have evidence, not necessarily evidence 0:06:08.320 --> 0:06:09.880 that they have met up and they have slapped together 0:06:09.920 --> 0:06:11.560 and all this and all that, but you have evidence 0:06:11.600 --> 0:06:15.240 that they are in uh, you know, a form of 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:17.599 flirtatious romantic sexual contact. 0:06:19.960 --> 0:06:22.040 I I didn't. 0:06:22.400 --> 0:06:23.000 I was dumb. 0:06:23.040 --> 0:06:26.120 I didn't take screenshots with my phone. 0:06:26.200 --> 0:06:29.360 Well forgetting about well, forgeting about screenshots. We're not talking 0:06:29.360 --> 0:06:31.240 about hard evidence here. I'm just saying you've seen it 0:06:31.240 --> 0:06:31.839 for yourself. 0:06:33.320 --> 0:06:34.599 Yeah, I've seen it for myself. 0:06:34.760 --> 0:06:39.600 Like, okay, so, so have you talked to your dad 0:06:39.600 --> 0:06:42.479 about this? I have not. 0:06:43.240 --> 0:06:45.560 I don't know how I would talk to him or 0:06:45.720 --> 0:06:50.520 my roommate. Like it's you know, I don't know too 0:06:50.640 --> 0:06:57.160 much about my parents' marriage. I you know, I I 0:06:57.200 --> 0:07:00.719 admit I don't really have the best relationship but them. 0:07:01.120 --> 0:07:04.960 So I don't really know what's going on. Like I 0:07:04.960 --> 0:07:05.360 don't know. 0:07:05.400 --> 0:07:06.160 Maybe they're. 0:07:07.560 --> 0:07:09.240 Marriage, I don't know. 0:07:10.560 --> 0:07:13.080 And so. 0:07:14.920 --> 0:07:18.360 I'm just really like confused as too, Like what to 0:07:18.440 --> 0:07:22.320 do now, Like what do I say to my roommate, 0:07:22.480 --> 0:07:24.640 to my dad and my mom? Do I just keep 0:07:24.640 --> 0:07:31.880 my mouth shut? They are married, but I don't know 0:07:32.920 --> 0:07:38.000 if they're like, you know, really like thinking about getting 0:07:38.040 --> 0:07:43.160 a divorce because I don't think my dad is that 0:07:43.400 --> 0:07:44.400 kind of man. 0:07:44.720 --> 0:07:49.480 Really, well, listen, I mean, how are you okay? So, 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:52.120 in response to you not knowing what to do about this, 0:07:52.560 --> 0:07:56.560 how do you feel about the situation as a whole? Like, 0:07:56.600 --> 0:08:02.000 what are your thoughts about your dad sleeping with your roommate? 0:08:02.080 --> 0:08:03.600 How does that make you feel? What do you think 0:08:03.640 --> 0:08:06.440 about it? You know? I mean, what's your what's your 0:08:06.480 --> 0:08:09.360 take on it? How does it make you feel? You 0:08:09.480 --> 0:08:13.120 think about it for before before we before we think 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:14.080 about what you should do. 0:08:17.400 --> 0:08:19.840 I honestly don't feel good about this. 0:08:20.360 --> 0:08:23.400 I really tried not to think about it at all 0:08:24.280 --> 0:08:30.640 because it's just h so like such a big issue. 0:08:30.760 --> 0:08:33.880 I don't know, like how you feel like obviously this 0:08:34.080 --> 0:08:37.920 is wrong, Obviously something needs to be said or happened 0:08:38.000 --> 0:08:43.920 or I don't know, but I obviously this is not 0:08:44.160 --> 0:08:46.760 my deal situation. I don't know. 0:08:48.840 --> 0:08:53.320 M you said your you said your relationship with your 0:08:53.360 --> 0:08:58.320 with your parents is already not uh uh, you're not 0:08:58.360 --> 0:09:02.440 super close with them? 0:09:02.600 --> 0:09:06.400 Yeah, I'm not super close with them. 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:06.920 You know. 0:09:07.280 --> 0:09:07.679 It's just. 0:09:10.280 --> 0:09:13.400 It's not that, you know, we hate each other. It's 0:09:13.520 --> 0:09:16.640 just it's not like a good relationship. You know, I 0:09:16.720 --> 0:09:19.679 just felt like, you know, I was just living with 0:09:19.720 --> 0:09:25.440 them and they're just not really not really there for me, 0:09:26.840 --> 0:09:28.720 so you know, I'm just kind of happy to get 0:09:28.720 --> 0:09:29.360 out of the house. 0:09:30.800 --> 0:09:33.839 Do you want Do you want to get involved with this? 0:09:36.520 --> 0:09:36.559 No? 0:09:37.120 --> 0:09:41.000 I don't. I feel like a good idea is just 0:09:41.080 --> 0:09:48.439 to like forget what ever happened, okay, And you know, 0:09:48.559 --> 0:09:52.920 but I feel like the right thing is to say something. 0:09:53.920 --> 0:09:56.240 So I don't know if I should be selfish and 0:09:56.360 --> 0:10:04.000 not saying anything, or like possibly ruin like my relationship 0:10:04.000 --> 0:10:05.800 with my roommates and with my family. 0:10:06.679 --> 0:10:08.640 I don't think you need to worry about ruining your 0:10:08.679 --> 0:10:14.280 relationship with uh, with your roommates. You know. I think 0:10:14.320 --> 0:10:18.000 she's sort of made her own bed. But it's interesting 0:10:18.000 --> 0:10:20.240 because you very you you, And the reason why I 0:10:20.280 --> 0:10:25.200 was asking you about your thoughts is because you you 0:10:25.240 --> 0:10:29.840 appear not to be reacting very viscerally to this, and 0:10:30.040 --> 0:10:32.439 when I ask you if you want to get involved 0:10:32.440 --> 0:10:35.120 with this, you need your your gut reaction is say no, 0:10:35.679 --> 0:10:37.960 you don't want to get involved with this, but you 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:43.600 feel like you have a moral obligation to And I 0:10:43.600 --> 0:10:45.600 don't know, I'm not gonna this this this phone call 0:10:45.640 --> 0:10:47.880 will end without me telling you what to do, because 0:10:47.880 --> 0:10:49.560 I don't really have an opinion on what you should do. 0:10:50.240 --> 0:10:56.040 But I don't know. I don't know if I don't 0:10:56.040 --> 0:11:03.600 know what your moral obligate is in this, or if 0:11:03.600 --> 0:11:07.920 you have any obligation at all, but I don't know. 0:11:07.960 --> 0:11:10.360 I hope that talking about it at least got you 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:14.480 to like sort of consider your feelings about it, and 0:11:14.520 --> 0:11:20.200 your feelings about it not just in terms of, you know, 0:11:20.280 --> 0:11:23.360 some sort of objective moral standard that you're trying to 0:11:26.000 --> 0:11:29.760 hold yourself against, and also just to your own personal 0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:33.120 perspective on the situation, and you know, sort of using 0:11:33.160 --> 0:11:37.240 all of that to inform whether or not you decide 0:11:37.240 --> 0:11:38.720 to get involved. 0:11:43.120 --> 0:11:43.400 Yeah. 0:11:43.440 --> 0:11:47.480 Well, I've actually known this for a found message a 0:11:47.520 --> 0:11:51.360 couple of weeks ago, and immediately I talked to Claire 0:11:51.400 --> 0:11:55.520 about it, and you know, we've been keeping like an 0:11:55.520 --> 0:11:56.840 I on Olivia and. 0:11:57.240 --> 0:12:00.559 I haven't Here's what I will say. He will be, 0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:02.160 He will be, he will he will be. Sort of 0:12:02.200 --> 0:12:05.800 my last thoughts about this is you say you're keeping 0:12:05.800 --> 0:12:07.760 an eye on Olivia. You're kind of turning it into 0:12:07.800 --> 0:12:10.760 some kind of spy game, and it's like the only 0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:13.360 thing I I I if I had to give some 0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:18.200 sort of advice here, I would say to you, figure 0:12:18.240 --> 0:12:20.760 out what you know. You're trying to figure out what 0:12:20.800 --> 0:12:25.240 to do. Stick to a plan, right, Because if you 0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:27.600 don't want to get involved, if you really don't want 0:12:27.600 --> 0:12:29.360 to get involved, you feel like it's just going to 0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:33.320 like mentally fuck with you to get involved, then don't 0:12:33.320 --> 0:12:35.360 get involved. If you do want to get involved, and 0:12:35.400 --> 0:12:36.839 you feel like you should get involved, you feel like 0:12:36.880 --> 0:12:39.280 you're morally obligated to get involved, whatever your reason is, 0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:45.000 then get involved. But sitting on the fence about it 0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:48.720 doesn't feel like the right move to me at least. 0:12:49.040 --> 0:12:50.520 But I'm also happy to hear that it seems like 0:12:50.559 --> 0:12:51.959 you've got a good friend to talk about all this 0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:57.960 stuff with that is closer to the situation, so you know, 0:12:58.520 --> 0:13:02.960 show ste hood and whatnot. But thank you for sharing, 0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:05.079 Lola and Blair, and good luck to you guys. 0:13:06.400 --> 0:13:06.720 Thank you. 0:13:07.280 --> 0:13:10.200 Thanks. I'll update you if anything happens. 0:13:10.520 --> 0:13:10.840 Hello. 0:13:12.360 --> 0:13:15.319 Hello is this Travis? 0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:18.800 Yeah, this is Travis. Hide GEK. 0:13:19.000 --> 0:13:19.800 How's your not going? 0:13:21.120 --> 0:13:21.960 How's my night going? 0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:24.440 Was a little bird going? 0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:28.160 Mine is going pretty good? Travis. It says here that 0:13:28.840 --> 0:13:30.800 you're trying to figure out whether or not you're a furry. 0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:35.840 Yes, that is correct, And I figured, like, I don't 0:13:35.840 --> 0:13:38.520 really know any furries, Like none of my friends are furries, 0:13:38.760 --> 0:13:40.800 or if they are, I don't know it. So you're 0:13:40.880 --> 0:13:43.240 kind of like the next best option I have. Because 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:45.959 I believe you're a man wearing a get Go suit. 0:13:46.679 --> 0:13:48.360 I've also heard your real get Go I'm getting kind 0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:51.199 of like conflicting reports, but I figure, you know, I 0:13:51.240 --> 0:13:52.560 don't know if you're a furry, but I figure has 0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:54.160 a unique perspective for me. 0:13:54.920 --> 0:13:56.760 Yeah. Well, it's funny you asked this because I have 0:13:56.800 --> 0:13:58.640 a I have an interesting relationship with this, where like 0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:02.040 I don't identify with I don't identify myself as a furry. 0:14:02.720 --> 0:14:06.520 I don't take any part in any kind in the 0:14:06.520 --> 0:14:12.319 furry culture or the furry community. I really have nothing 0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:17.800 to do with furries. But it is undeniable that I 0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:21.560 am a person wearing an animal costume right now. So 0:14:22.000 --> 0:14:24.720 there really isn't all that much of a difference between 0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:29.480 me and them. I cannot create any wall of artificial 0:14:32.160 --> 0:14:36.200 difference between us. But enough about me. 0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:37.200 Yeah, well, you. 0:14:39.200 --> 0:14:40.720 Think you might be a fury? Why do you think 0:14:40.760 --> 0:14:41.640 you might be a furry? 0:14:44.160 --> 0:14:46.440 I think It's kind of like a lot of little 0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:49.480 things over time that have been like building on each other. 0:14:50.480 --> 0:14:52.600 Like I've always enjoyed, you know, like media and content 0:14:52.640 --> 0:14:55.480 that involves anther animals, but I never really like more 0:14:55.520 --> 0:14:59.120 than the average person, you know. But there's a lot 0:14:59.160 --> 0:15:02.040 of little things adding up that I'm like, Now I'm like. 0:15:02.200 --> 0:15:03.680 Could I be a furry? Am I afferry? 0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:05.840 And then like trying to kind of interrogate that question, 0:15:05.960 --> 0:15:08.320 you know, like I would feel more at peace if 0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:11.320 I could be like definitively yes or you know, maybe not, 0:15:12.200 --> 0:15:14.120 but I've got you know, I could I could elaborate 0:15:14.160 --> 0:15:16.160 on that timeline if that helps. 0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:23.920 M Okay, So you think because you watch a lot 0:15:24.040 --> 0:15:29.720 of media and content with anthropomorphic animals that you might 0:15:29.760 --> 0:15:31.480 be afferred, Well, here's what we here's what we have 0:15:31.520 --> 0:15:34.160 to do first, and we can look at this from 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:41.400 many different perspectives. One is this this whole thing of 0:15:41.480 --> 0:15:46.440 am I affer? Am I not? Why do you need 0:15:46.560 --> 0:15:49.840 to label yourself? And it's a legitimate question. You might 0:15:49.880 --> 0:15:53.040 have a legitimate desire to label yourself because from what 0:15:53.120 --> 0:15:58.160 I gain about the furry community, the pro of being 0:15:58.200 --> 0:16:01.000 a part of the furry community is that you're a 0:16:01.120 --> 0:16:04.560 part of a community of people who like the same 0:16:04.680 --> 0:16:07.840 thing that you like. Same as a guy wearing a 0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:13.920 La Dodgers jersey and going to the games and hanging 0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:16.840 out with other sports fans. It's all it's all the 0:16:16.880 --> 0:16:21.440 same thing, right, just identifying with something and being a 0:16:21.440 --> 0:16:23.320 part of a community of other people that identify with 0:16:23.360 --> 0:16:27.480 that thing. Why is that? Is that what's attractive to you? 0:16:28.080 --> 0:16:28.280 Yeah? 0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:31.600 Yeah, that identifies I think being part of the community. 0:16:33.800 --> 0:16:36.000 I think it's uh, it's kind of like, you know, 0:16:36.040 --> 0:16:37.920 I feel like I'm riding this train, or I realized 0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:41.160 I'm on this train, and I you know, maybe I 0:16:41.200 --> 0:16:42.720 woke up from a nap, but don't have the orinary. 0:16:42.760 --> 0:16:44.440 I don't know what stop I can get off on, 0:16:44.600 --> 0:16:45.640 you know, and so I don't know if I was 0:16:45.680 --> 0:16:47.920 trying to like get up on the stop where I am, 0:16:47.960 --> 0:16:49.680 you know, like I consume a lot of his content 0:16:50.440 --> 0:16:53.200 and that's cool, or like if I could be getting 0:16:53.200 --> 0:16:55.120 off on a stop, or like should I go to 0:16:55.200 --> 0:16:58.000 some conventions, should I buy a first suit? You know, 0:16:58.080 --> 0:17:00.240 Like I don't think the idea needs important to me. 0:17:00.440 --> 0:17:02.960 But as I've been considering this, you know, been like 0:17:03.000 --> 0:17:05.520 watching some documentaries and like trying to wrap my head 0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:08.439 around the subculture, and I'm like, it does seem kind 0:17:08.440 --> 0:17:11.399 of fun, and fury seem kind of like some rad people, 0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:13.800 you know, like maybe I would jive with that, But 0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:16.200 I think I'm kind of just wondering, like how deep 0:17:16.240 --> 0:17:19.600 should I dive here? You know, like should I should 0:17:19.640 --> 0:17:22.240 I go to a furry convention when the pandemic's less 0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:24.159 of a thing? You know, See, if I'm actually into that, 0:17:25.680 --> 0:17:27.240 I don't know. I also, you know, I just think 0:17:27.280 --> 0:17:30.520 it's I think it's just it's a fun it's fun 0:17:30.640 --> 0:17:31.439 strand to follow. 0:17:32.840 --> 0:17:36.360 H Well, look, I see no I mean I see 0:17:36.359 --> 0:17:41.800 no downside too. If you are curious, if you think 0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:45.800 that you might jive with other people into the subculture, 0:17:46.200 --> 0:17:51.240 then go to the conventions, watch join the subreddits, get 0:17:51.280 --> 0:17:53.919 involved in the community. I don't. I don't. The only 0:17:56.359 --> 0:18:01.560 the only downside, it's not a real downside, is if 0:18:01.880 --> 0:18:04.560 let me ask, are you afraid? Are you afraid of 0:18:04.600 --> 0:18:07.240 identifying as a furry? Are you afraid of being judged 0:18:07.320 --> 0:18:08.000 or ridiculed? 0:18:10.200 --> 0:18:12.040 I mean, I wouldn't say I'm afraid of it, but 0:18:12.080 --> 0:18:15.159 it's definitely like something I think about because I think 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:17.239 like part of the question of like, you know, am 0:18:17.320 --> 0:18:18.199 I affrared? Am I not? 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:18.520 Is? 0:18:18.560 --> 0:18:21.080 I've realized like some of the stuff that stirred up 0:18:21.160 --> 0:18:25.000 these questions is more like me having conversations with people 0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:27.760 who are like shitting on furries, and then I realize 0:18:27.760 --> 0:18:29.919 I have like a knee jerk reaction to kind of 0:18:29.960 --> 0:18:32.359 like defend phraries. Y'd be like, you know, like what 0:18:32.400 --> 0:18:35.080 are you saying here? And I'm already queer, so like 0:18:35.119 --> 0:18:37.960 I'm already used to kind of just like not really 0:18:37.960 --> 0:18:40.920 giving a fuck what normalis think I should or shouldn't 0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:43.160 be into. And I think maybe like that knee jerk 0:18:43.200 --> 0:18:46.600 reaction is partly like you know, siding with the underdogs. 0:18:47.760 --> 0:18:49.440 But it is kind of weird because it's like as 0:18:49.480 --> 0:18:51.120 far as you know the extent of being queer, it's 0:18:51.160 --> 0:18:53.320 like most of my friends are not weird about that 0:18:53.359 --> 0:18:55.080 at all, but like some of my good friends are 0:18:55.080 --> 0:18:56.359 weird about the fairy shit. 0:18:56.440 --> 0:18:56.639 You know. 0:18:56.680 --> 0:18:58.960 It's like, I don't know if you've seen bet Stars, right, 0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:01.320 it's kind of a furry in me, It's a good 0:19:01.359 --> 0:19:04.399 fucking show. And I know some people who are like, oh, 0:19:04.440 --> 0:19:05.400 I'm not going to watch. 0:19:05.200 --> 0:19:07.040 That because it's like a furry show. 0:19:07.080 --> 0:19:09.720 And I'm like, it doesn't like, I know people who 0:19:09.720 --> 0:19:13.000 are like afraid to watch content that is fucking good 0:19:13.440 --> 0:19:17.080 because they want to distance themselves from what could be completed. 0:19:16.720 --> 0:19:17.320 A furry thing. 0:19:17.920 --> 0:19:20.879 And it's like a weird it's a weird thing for 0:19:20.960 --> 0:19:22.760 me because like I haven't actually caught of that shit 0:19:22.840 --> 0:19:25.040 for being queer. But I'm like, oh, I have friends 0:19:25.040 --> 0:19:27.639 that would throw shade if I was a furry, So 0:19:27.680 --> 0:19:28.679 it's it's kind of strange. 0:19:30.560 --> 0:19:33.959 Well, I mean, I mean, Travis, Travis, I think that, 0:19:34.840 --> 0:19:37.160 I mean, you sound like a guy who is pretty 0:19:37.200 --> 0:19:39.040 good and not caring what other people think about him. 0:19:40.040 --> 0:19:44.520 And I think you should take that ship to the bank. 0:19:44.960 --> 0:19:46.960 That's a good life to live, that's a good headspace 0:19:47.000 --> 0:19:48.399 to be in. And god damn it, go to one 0:19:48.400 --> 0:19:50.600 of these furry conventions. I see no downside. 0:19:53.520 --> 0:19:56.560 Yeah, no, I appreciate that. I think I will when 0:19:56.600 --> 0:20:00.800 I'm not gonna get OVID again. That's That's the other 0:20:00.840 --> 0:20:02.919 thing is I don't actually have a persona, and I 0:20:02.920 --> 0:20:05.359 don't know, like you know, so I feel you have 0:20:05.480 --> 0:20:07.119 kind of gotten my foot in the door, you know, 0:20:07.160 --> 0:20:08.600 but I'm not all the way there, and I don't 0:20:09.320 --> 0:20:13.280 I don't think I'm like necessarily trying to like decide, 0:20:13.600 --> 0:20:15.600 you know, I don't know. I have like a key 0:20:15.760 --> 0:20:18.639 do me of like a raccoon, But I don't know. 0:20:18.600 --> 0:20:22.200 A raccoon, all right, Because here's the thing. Here's the thing, 0:20:22.320 --> 0:20:25.399 I'm not a furry. I don't think I'm gonna I 0:20:25.440 --> 0:20:27.639 actually I would consider going to convention just to like 0:20:27.680 --> 0:20:30.639 do some interviews or something. I'd be fun. But I 0:20:31.480 --> 0:20:35.719 objectively running around in a big old raccoon costume, this 0:20:35.800 --> 0:20:40.520 sounds kind of fun. I think that you should not 0:20:41.600 --> 0:20:44.160 reprive yourself with that experience if it is an experience 0:20:44.600 --> 0:20:46.399 that you wish to partake in. 0:20:49.400 --> 0:20:53.080 Yeah, no, I think yeah, I think you're right. And also, yeah, 0:20:53.119 --> 0:20:56.840 someone else asked you in the past, Uh, someone's asked 0:20:56.840 --> 0:20:59.000 you before if you're going the furry conventions and that too. 0:20:59.000 --> 0:20:59.840 I think you should do that. 0:21:00.880 --> 0:21:02.879 Yeah, I would consider it just to do like some 0:21:02.960 --> 0:21:06.080 streams or something. I think that'd be pretty fun. But 0:21:06.320 --> 0:21:08.399 we'll see. I'll see you at the next one. Oliver, 0:21:08.480 --> 0:21:10.760 take care, No crap, I called you Oliver? Why do 0:21:10.800 --> 0:21:12.919 I call you Oliver? I haven't talked to a differentlive 0:21:13.480 --> 0:21:13.920 all right. 0:21:13.840 --> 0:21:17.520 Well, my name on too, So let's long get it's 0:21:17.600 --> 0:21:18.560 just the thing to night have. 0:21:18.640 --> 0:21:19.040 A good name. 0:21:19.880 --> 0:21:23.320 Here's the thing. It's all these things. They all all 0:21:23.359 --> 0:21:27.600 these things. They all serve the same function. Intramural flag, football, 0:21:28.760 --> 0:21:44.400 dungeons and dragons, crypto currency, furries, Marvel comics, lacrosse, uh 0:21:44.720 --> 0:21:48.640 spelling bees, they're they're all they all do the same 0:21:50.080 --> 0:21:53.160 bowling groups. It's all the same. It's all the same thing. 0:21:53.359 --> 0:21:56.480 It's all the same. Thing is just people who like 0:21:56.600 --> 0:22:01.880 the same thing getting together, talking about it and being 0:22:01.920 --> 0:22:05.879 about it. And it's fine. What bothers is me all 0:22:05.920 --> 0:22:10.560 the time is that people will like rip on individual 0:22:10.680 --> 0:22:15.879 things when the underlying theme of all of these groups 0:22:16.480 --> 0:22:20.479 is the same. It's just different ways to bring people together. 0:22:21.720 --> 0:22:22.000 Hello. 0:22:24.560 --> 0:22:28.720 Hello, Hi, is this baby Bear? 0:22:31.200 --> 0:22:32.400 Yes, this is baby Bear. 0:22:33.000 --> 0:22:36.440 Baby Bear. It says here that you have been exploring 0:22:36.720 --> 0:22:39.600 hypnosis with your partner. 0:22:40.440 --> 0:22:48.120 Yes, yeah, so I have. Well, first of all, it's 0:22:48.119 --> 0:22:51.120 only been an idea. So I've actually been exploring pup 0:22:51.200 --> 0:22:56.720 space with my partner. I feel like I resonate with 0:22:57.240 --> 0:22:59.679 being a pup. I've come to find that out as 0:22:59.680 --> 0:23:02.199 in the life like six months or so, and so 0:23:02.720 --> 0:23:06.159 with that, sometimes I don't want to think and I 0:23:06.160 --> 0:23:09.440 don't want to be an adult and I just want 0:23:09.480 --> 0:23:12.679 to be a pup. So along with that, my boyfriend 0:23:13.440 --> 0:23:18.399 had suggested hypnosis to kind of help me put me 0:23:18.480 --> 0:23:19.440 more into that space. 0:23:20.280 --> 0:23:28.320 And so I. 0:23:26.040 --> 0:23:29.200 I'm kind of like nervous to kind of delve into it. 0:23:29.320 --> 0:23:35.320 I'm not entirely sure why, but I don't even Yeah, 0:23:35.359 --> 0:23:37.480 I'm just I'm just kind of nervous. 0:23:39.119 --> 0:23:48.600 So you are not interested in so so you are 0:23:48.680 --> 0:23:56.640 interested in the abandonment for at least a momentary bit 0:23:56.640 --> 0:24:02.160 of time of your human senses and your human brain 0:24:03.160 --> 0:24:06.840 into a dog like state via hypnosis. 0:24:07.320 --> 0:24:11.719 Yes, m hm h, because I already kind of like 0:24:11.880 --> 0:24:15.639 do it, like my carrier characteristics kind of line up 0:24:15.680 --> 0:24:18.560 with it already like part of my personality, and I 0:24:18.560 --> 0:24:21.760 feel like with hypnosis that would just take it like 0:24:21.800 --> 0:24:26.560 a step further. And I listened to this podcast the 0:24:26.560 --> 0:24:30.240 other day and this guy's names case Kenny, and he 0:24:30.640 --> 0:24:32.680 said something that really stuck with me, and it said, 0:24:32.720 --> 0:24:35.480 never stop chasing your curiosity. And I felt that was 0:24:35.520 --> 0:24:38.920 more powerful than don't ever stop chasing your dreams, because 0:24:38.920 --> 0:24:41.000 that could be like really scary for people and like 0:24:42.440 --> 0:24:45.959 very almost like broad so any when he said that, 0:24:46.000 --> 0:24:47.800 I was like, well, if I'm curious about it, I 0:24:47.840 --> 0:24:50.760 should just do it. But at the same time, I 0:24:50.840 --> 0:24:54.159 just I feel like, not necessarily not reservations, I just 0:24:54.760 --> 0:24:56.080 I don't know what I'm stepping. 0:24:55.760 --> 0:25:03.000 Into and what is appealing to you about becoming a. 0:25:03.000 --> 0:25:12.320 Dog, being care free, getting out of overthinking all the time. 0:25:12.560 --> 0:25:19.000 And I deal with bipolar, so like when I get 0:25:19.040 --> 0:25:21.199 into my low it can last a lot longer than 0:25:21.200 --> 0:25:26.360 when I'm on my highs, and I feel like kind 0:25:26.400 --> 0:25:29.800 of escaping, not even necessarily escaping, but just kind of 0:25:30.320 --> 0:25:33.359 flipping that switch and being just the more care free, 0:25:33.520 --> 0:25:38.399 care free, playful, don't really care what people think about me. 0:25:39.480 --> 0:25:41.720 If I want to wag my tail, wiggle my butt, 0:25:41.760 --> 0:25:43.120 I want to be able to do that the show 0:25:43.200 --> 0:25:47.480 that I'm happy, you know, and just kind of almost 0:25:47.520 --> 0:25:52.919 like a healthier escapism than kind of derailing into my 0:25:53.080 --> 0:25:56.320 negative thoughts or that kind of negative space. 0:25:57.200 --> 0:26:00.880 Mm hmm. You know, I'm not going to lie to you. 0:26:01.119 --> 0:26:04.000 I absolutely see where you're coming from. When I look 0:26:04.040 --> 0:26:11.240 at dogs, they absolutely seem significantly happier than humans, very present, 0:26:12.080 --> 0:26:15.520 very in the moment, not thinking about the past, not 0:26:15.560 --> 0:26:19.000 thinking about the future, merely focused on the life that 0:26:19.040 --> 0:26:23.480 they are living. At the current second that they are 0:26:23.520 --> 0:26:27.520 living it, and I can see what is attractive about 0:26:27.520 --> 0:26:36.000 that headspace. Tell me what is the process of this 0:26:36.119 --> 0:26:37.119 hypnosis look like? 0:26:41.160 --> 0:26:46.200 Well, I'm a beginner, so I don't really know fully 0:26:46.240 --> 0:26:50.400 all the details yet or would really know how to 0:26:50.440 --> 0:26:54.399 like confidently or be able to explain it exactly maybe 0:26:54.440 --> 0:26:57.200 how it would be, because I feel like if I 0:26:57.600 --> 0:27:00.520 don't want to give any misinformation, but it's different for everybody. 0:27:01.640 --> 0:27:05.679 I feel like for me personally, it would be maybe 0:27:05.720 --> 0:27:09.879 like a word that would trigger like, let's say, hi, 0:27:10.000 --> 0:27:13.560 pup right, and that would like take me from being 0:27:13.720 --> 0:27:17.399 to my name is Brianna being Brianna to being pups 0:27:18.400 --> 0:27:20.879 and then just kind of being in that space for 0:27:20.960 --> 0:27:24.000 a while where I'm just a puff, like not even 0:27:24.040 --> 0:27:26.199 necessarily a dog that's just kind of chilled, but like 0:27:26.320 --> 0:27:31.720 just just a cute, little fun, care free pup, and 0:27:31.760 --> 0:27:33.919 then being in that space for a while with my 0:27:34.160 --> 0:27:40.200 partner of course, and uh, because you know he accepts 0:27:40.359 --> 0:27:43.040 me for that and he's helped me to explore that 0:27:43.200 --> 0:27:48.960 more so that's I don't know if I'm just kind 0:27:48.960 --> 0:27:51.520 of rambling and didn't really answer. 0:27:51.200 --> 0:27:55.040 Your question, but no, so you're trying to that's kind 0:27:55.040 --> 0:27:58.440 of what's besides yourself to a point where your partner 0:27:58.480 --> 0:28:01.720 can say a phrase and it bring you into this 0:28:02.200 --> 0:28:02.880 state of mind. 0:28:02.960 --> 0:28:06.439 So then I have another question. Are you afraid of 0:28:06.600 --> 0:28:12.640 the possibility that you will be permanently hypnotized into a 0:28:12.720 --> 0:28:19.080 pup and that you will lose Brianna? 0:28:19.800 --> 0:28:20.520 Kind of. 0:28:22.440 --> 0:28:27.280 Let's see, Like I do have some reservations in that sense, 0:28:27.400 --> 0:28:29.600 Like and I know that my partner would do this 0:28:29.640 --> 0:28:32.640 because I completely trust him, But at the same time, 0:28:32.680 --> 0:28:34.480 I kind of have like, just like this little thought 0:28:34.520 --> 0:28:36.440 in the back of my head, like because I've seen 0:28:36.680 --> 0:28:40.160 different movies and shows and stuff where like people will 0:28:40.160 --> 0:28:43.040 get put under hypnosis, maybe not even knowing it, or 0:28:43.080 --> 0:28:45.440 they do and they think it's for different, that there 0:28:45.560 --> 0:28:52.240 the intention behind it is different, and then being manipulated 0:28:52.320 --> 0:28:54.600 or tricked into being hypnotized to be doing other things 0:28:54.600 --> 0:28:58.840 that weren't consented. I think that's kind of where it. 0:28:59.800 --> 0:29:01.760 But I'm not talking about the idea that you can 0:29:01.800 --> 0:29:04.240 get hypnotized into something else. I'm talking about the idea 0:29:04.280 --> 0:29:09.760 that you get hypnotized into being a dog, but your 0:29:09.920 --> 0:29:14.560 partner is unable to hypnotize you back into being You 0:29:14.560 --> 0:29:23.120 said your name was said Bianna. Yeah, unable to yourself, 0:29:23.640 --> 0:29:26.200 and so you are permanently a dog. How I mean, 0:29:26.240 --> 0:29:30.360 how does that sound to you? 0:29:35.280 --> 0:29:39.520 I mean, it wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, but 0:29:40.280 --> 0:29:44.200 if I think about it from the perspective of, you know, 0:29:44.240 --> 0:29:47.240 I have to think about my adult responsibilities as well, 0:29:47.320 --> 0:29:51.080 and like like my job and you know, there's like 0:29:51.400 --> 0:29:53.400 there's those are the things that I have to take 0:29:53.400 --> 0:29:55.160 care of in my life. But if I was to 0:29:55.280 --> 0:29:58.560 a point where I was I had financial freedom, and 0:29:58.640 --> 0:30:01.680 I had enough money to just be comfortable for the 0:30:01.680 --> 0:30:04.560 rest of my life, which I plan on doing at 0:30:04.600 --> 0:30:08.080 some point in time, working towards that for sure, to 0:30:08.120 --> 0:30:10.600 where I would just be able to chill at home, 0:30:10.720 --> 0:30:14.920 then maybe it wouldn't be necessarily a bad thing. But 0:30:15.080 --> 0:30:17.280 I don't know if I would want to be in 0:30:17.400 --> 0:30:24.520 that space permanently because I want to have that sense 0:30:24.560 --> 0:30:27.800 of being back as Brianna, because I want to be 0:30:27.840 --> 0:30:29.840 able to keep learning and growing. I don't want that 0:30:29.920 --> 0:30:31.200 to be the only thing that. 0:30:32.560 --> 0:30:32.920 I am. 0:30:33.880 --> 0:30:34.640 If that makes. 0:30:34.440 --> 0:30:38.160 Sense, I agree with you that I also one day 0:30:38.640 --> 0:30:40.480 would love to be rich enough to be a dog. 0:30:44.760 --> 0:30:45.480 That would be great. 0:30:46.200 --> 0:30:47.920 Thank you very much for calling Brianna. Good luck to you. 0:30:50.000 --> 0:30:50.360 Thank you. 0:30:51.120 --> 0:30:54.000 That actually sounds like a pretty good life. 0:30:54.360 --> 0:31:00.160 Hello, how's a good one. 0:31:01.600 --> 0:31:08.600 I'm a gecko, I'm a banana. All right. 0:31:10.480 --> 0:31:13.760 I have a story that kind of scarred me. This 0:31:13.960 --> 0:31:16.840 was told me about a year ago. I promise this 0:31:16.880 --> 0:31:19.840 is not pranking. I promise this is a true story. 0:31:20.560 --> 0:31:23.280 I'm looking in the chat. Somebody said this was a prank. 0:31:27.320 --> 0:31:29.480 Banana, do my favorite while you are, while we're on 0:31:29.520 --> 0:31:31.000 the phone, while we're on the phone together, do me 0:31:31.000 --> 0:31:32.600 a favorite. Try not to look at the chat. 0:31:34.760 --> 0:31:37.960 Okay, okay, okay, I got you. I got you, beautiful. 0:31:38.040 --> 0:31:38.840 I'm sorry about that. 0:31:39.600 --> 0:31:42.880 No, no worries, man, What's what's up? What's uh? What 0:31:42.920 --> 0:31:43.560 did you want to say? 0:31:45.120 --> 0:31:47.480 Okay, So I was going to my buddy's house to 0:31:47.480 --> 0:31:51.400 go pick up some stuff, and well, he asked if 0:31:51.440 --> 0:31:54.000 he could go get some McDonald's with his girlfriends if 0:31:54.000 --> 0:31:56.880 they didn't have a car. So, you know, I left 0:31:56.920 --> 0:31:58.880 my stuff there because this is gonna be a quick ride. 0:31:58.920 --> 0:32:01.600 We're gonna go back, come back, you know, I'll get 0:32:01.640 --> 0:32:04.360 my stuff and go back home. Well, we get back 0:32:04.360 --> 0:32:08.400 to his where the place he was staying, and his 0:32:08.480 --> 0:32:12.560 roommate's girlfriend locked the door because she was going to Walmart. Well, 0:32:12.600 --> 0:32:14.800 they didn't have a way in and my stuff was inside, 0:32:14.920 --> 0:32:18.240 so I couldn't wait. I mean I had to wait 0:32:18.280 --> 0:32:21.920 to get my stuff. And so we were, you know, 0:32:22.080 --> 0:32:25.000 just telling stories. Well he told me about how he 0:32:25.080 --> 0:32:28.640 had an ex girlfriend that he got pregnant and they 0:32:28.680 --> 0:32:32.480 didn't have the money to afford for an abortion. So 0:32:32.600 --> 0:32:35.600 he told me about he grabbed the uh they had 0:32:35.640 --> 0:32:37.880 to use a coat hanger, and he said that he 0:32:37.880 --> 0:32:40.360 could feel the coat hanger going up and he could 0:32:40.400 --> 0:32:44.840 feel it scrambling the baby. And that shit free like 0:32:44.960 --> 0:32:45.920 kind of fucked me up. 0:32:45.960 --> 0:32:46.080 Bro. 0:32:46.720 --> 0:32:49.520 I ain't gonna lie like I'm all about abortions because 0:32:49.920 --> 0:32:52.640 that's free, you know, free rights to everybody. But like, 0:32:52.640 --> 0:32:54.520 how you gonna tell somebody that shit. 0:32:55.520 --> 0:32:55.600 M. 0:32:57.080 --> 0:32:59.240 This was your this was something that happened to your friends. 0:33:01.200 --> 0:33:03.640 Yeah, no, he did, like he did himself. Like he 0:33:03.680 --> 0:33:06.800 told me he could feel the the like the coat hanger, 0:33:06.840 --> 0:33:08.880 you know, you straight in the coat, the coat hanger out. 0:33:09.480 --> 0:33:12.560 He said he could feel it penetrate the feat of 0:33:13.000 --> 0:33:18.720 and he could feel it scrambling and ship. Wow, I 0:33:18.800 --> 0:33:21.880 promise this is not a joke, but like this ship 0:33:21.920 --> 0:33:22.880 is kind of fucked up. 0:33:24.120 --> 0:33:26.840 So you said that this this well so interesting. So 0:33:26.880 --> 0:33:33.280 you say that this story scarred you. Yeah, I mean 0:33:33.320 --> 0:33:36.000 if the story, if, if the third party account of 0:33:36.040 --> 0:33:39.720 it scarred you, I I, uh, I cannot imagine how 0:33:39.800 --> 0:33:40.880 how your friend felt. 0:33:44.040 --> 0:33:48.120 I mean, you're right about that. But he did he 0:33:48.560 --> 0:33:51.200 did it for a reason, so he must have been 0:33:51.200 --> 0:33:51.920 okay with it. 0:33:52.680 --> 0:33:53.800 M hm m hm. 0:33:55.680 --> 0:34:04.160 Hmmm. It says you're It says here, No, go ahead, 0:34:04.160 --> 0:34:05.920 you you you were, you were, you were going to 0:34:05.920 --> 0:34:06.360 say something. 0:34:08.280 --> 0:34:10.800 No, you can go ahead. That was stupid. 0:34:11.440 --> 0:34:12.440 No say the stupid thing. 0:34:16.040 --> 0:34:18.000 I kind of don't want to because it's stupid. 0:34:20.480 --> 0:34:23.160 Says here that, Uh, you have a story about getting 0:34:23.239 --> 0:34:26.320 locked out of your friend's house. Is this the same 0:34:26.840 --> 0:34:28.240 story or these two different stories? 0:34:31.280 --> 0:34:35.359 Uh, that's the same story because we got locked out 0:34:35.400 --> 0:34:38.000 of his buddy's house because I had to wait and 0:34:38.719 --> 0:34:40.759 wait to give my stuff that was inside of there. 0:34:44.040 --> 0:34:46.920 But I mean, my life's kind of kind of all whacked. 0:34:47.000 --> 0:34:52.040 I'm not gonna lie. If you want to hear some other. 0:34:51.880 --> 0:34:56.040 Stories, sure, why do you say that your life is whack? 0:35:00.800 --> 0:35:03.399 So? So how much can I go with saying on here? 0:35:07.360 --> 0:35:09.319 I mean, look, as long as you're not saying anything like, 0:35:10.400 --> 0:35:16.160 you know, well, what what what? What? Tell me? Tell me? 0:35:16.239 --> 0:35:20.120 Tell me the area of what you would like to say? 0:35:20.320 --> 0:35:22.560 The FBI is not gonna come raid in my house 0:35:22.600 --> 0:35:24.759 if I'll tell you my life right now? Will they? 0:35:27.200 --> 0:35:30.239 What exactly? Well, give it? Give me the arena? What? 0:35:30.239 --> 0:35:36.520 What area? What topic of I make some stuff. 0:35:36.719 --> 0:35:43.840 I ain't gonna lie. I kind of I beat around 0:35:43.840 --> 0:35:47.319 the bush and I kind of talk some people over, 0:35:48.760 --> 0:35:51.120 but they all still buy my ship. 0:35:52.880 --> 0:35:55.960 Okay, you you say you make some stuff and you 0:35:56.080 --> 0:35:59.279 and you're function some people over in what way, in 0:35:59.360 --> 0:36:02.759 whatever amount of detail you're comfortable providing? Do you do 0:36:02.800 --> 0:36:03.799 you fuck people over? 0:36:03.960 --> 0:36:04.160 Well? 0:36:05.600 --> 0:36:09.080 Do you do you know anything about like psychedelics? 0:36:10.440 --> 0:36:11.480 Not a whole lot? 0:36:13.200 --> 0:36:16.120 Well, you know how like the there's a LSD's like 0:36:16.120 --> 0:36:21.960 all those tiny papers. Yep, Well you can buy those 0:36:22.080 --> 0:36:24.759 tiny papers on Amazon by like a sheet for like 0:36:24.800 --> 0:36:29.440 twenty five dollars. Well, instead of making LSD, there's something 0:36:29.480 --> 0:36:33.840 called LSA. It's so simple to make. Well, I found 0:36:33.840 --> 0:36:37.279 a way to get it onto the papers and gives 0:36:37.320 --> 0:36:41.600 you like a like a like a decent trip, and 0:36:41.719 --> 0:36:45.319 so I sell it really cheap. But it's really cheap 0:36:45.400 --> 0:36:47.680 to make. So i'd be like flipping in my money. 0:36:50.640 --> 0:36:52.359 And when you sell it, do you pass it off 0:36:52.360 --> 0:36:56.279 as if it is LSD? Yeah? 0:36:56.280 --> 0:36:57.320 I sell it as LSD. 0:36:58.360 --> 0:37:02.680 What is LSA mean? Uh? 0:37:04.239 --> 0:37:07.120 I honestly cannot tell you that I fell a lost 0:37:07.120 --> 0:37:11.680 eergic acid. But don't take me up on that. I'm 0:37:11.680 --> 0:37:14.919 pretty sure it's not Elisa xeric acid. Get you get 0:37:14.920 --> 0:37:18.680 it from the seed. The seeds are legal. The process 0:37:18.719 --> 0:37:21.560 to make it is literally the seeds and watered. 0:37:23.040 --> 0:37:28.319 Okay. And when you say you fuck people over, do 0:37:28.400 --> 0:37:32.319 people come back to you upset with you about this? 0:37:34.520 --> 0:37:37.919 No? Because if you get actual LSD, you can sail 0:37:37.920 --> 0:37:39.840 it for fifteen a hit where I'm at, So I 0:37:39.920 --> 0:37:42.640 sell these for five dollars a hit or three hundred 0:37:42.880 --> 0:37:46.720 for one hundred of them. So like I just passed 0:37:46.719 --> 0:37:55.000 it off as like really bad LSD. Okay, And but 0:37:55.000 --> 0:37:59.200 but you can go on YouTube right now and learn 0:37:59.280 --> 0:38:01.200 how to make it. And you go on there and 0:38:01.440 --> 0:38:04.560 learn how to make dmt s, which I don't know 0:38:04.600 --> 0:38:05.920 if you know what DMT is. 0:38:07.960 --> 0:38:13.640 So tell me you say your life is fuck I 0:38:13.640 --> 0:38:15.040 forget if I'm putting words in your mouth, but you 0:38:15.040 --> 0:38:16.120 said your life is fucked up? 0:38:18.120 --> 0:38:20.600 Yeah? I think this is pretty fucked up what I did. 0:38:21.360 --> 0:38:23.040 Okay, So I'm not. 0:38:24.760 --> 0:38:27.480 What I say. I'm not really happy with what I do. 0:38:28.320 --> 0:38:29.680 I'm sorry for cutting you off. 0:38:30.320 --> 0:38:32.200 No, no, no, it's fine. So you're not happy with 0:38:32.239 --> 0:38:34.719 what you do? Is is there anything that you could 0:38:34.760 --> 0:38:36.640 think of that that you would rather be doing? 0:38:39.560 --> 0:38:39.719 Well? 0:38:39.719 --> 0:38:43.480 I already worked forty hours a week, so this is 0:38:43.520 --> 0:38:46.120 sort of like a side thing and I just enjoyed 0:38:46.120 --> 0:38:51.560 doing it. But I know it's like bad, Oh bro, bro, 0:38:51.680 --> 0:38:55.359 what okay? Okay, I just now remember what happened. What 0:38:55.440 --> 0:38:57.880 happened to me like two months ago. You will not 0:38:57.960 --> 0:39:00.680 believe this. I thought I was going to jail for life. 0:39:01.760 --> 0:39:04.680 Can I can I tell this story? 0:39:05.040 --> 0:39:07.120 Yeah? But I I wanna. I want a real quick 0:39:07.120 --> 0:39:08.879 because I don't want to lose this. You said that 0:39:09.080 --> 0:39:13.520 you're not happy with it you do, but yet you 0:39:13.560 --> 0:39:16.160 say you enjoy doing it, so you just like. 0:39:18.320 --> 0:39:26.399 Well, are you? It hurts my family? That's that's that's 0:39:26.480 --> 0:39:28.719 one real big reasons why I hate doing this. 0:39:29.400 --> 0:39:33.319 Okay, so it hurts your family, but you say that 0:39:33.480 --> 0:39:38.439 you like doing it, but it's something that has pros 0:39:38.440 --> 0:39:39.960 and cons to it in your eyes. 0:39:42.080 --> 0:39:45.040 Yes, Like I don't think anybody should do to this. 0:39:46.120 --> 0:39:48.400 Okay, what are the what are the pros for you? 0:39:48.840 --> 0:39:50.960 Making money? 0:39:52.640 --> 0:39:56.040 Pretty much just making money, that's all about it. 0:39:57.040 --> 0:39:59.960 Mm hmm. And in what ways does it hurt your family? 0:40:04.680 --> 0:40:08.000 They're just against it. They don't like anything about doing it. 0:40:08.000 --> 0:40:11.640 They've been sober for about thirty years, and I just 0:40:11.680 --> 0:40:14.160 feel like it's bad that I'm doing that shit. 0:40:17.320 --> 0:40:17.719 Have you? 0:40:18.520 --> 0:40:21.200 I'm just curious have you made any attempt at all 0:40:21.320 --> 0:40:22.480 to stop doing this? 0:40:27.120 --> 0:40:31.680 About twenty eighteen, I got robbed of two ounces from 0:40:31.680 --> 0:40:33.960 a guy that I knew from like the second grade. 0:40:34.360 --> 0:40:36.680 I moved away from that school in like tenth grade, 0:40:37.560 --> 0:40:39.640 and I figured, you know, he wouldn't suck me over. 0:40:39.800 --> 0:40:43.399 Will Yeah, should sucked me over? And well that kind 0:40:43.440 --> 0:40:45.920 of maybe stought for him, and I sort of just 0:40:45.960 --> 0:40:50.239 got back into it because you know, I'm not gonna lie. 0:40:50.280 --> 0:40:51.040 I so weed to. 0:40:56.160 --> 0:41:01.920 Have you ever gone to any kind of like actual 0:41:02.120 --> 0:41:07.600 counselor type of person who you think might be able 0:41:07.640 --> 0:41:08.200 to help you. 0:41:12.400 --> 0:41:12.440 You? 0:41:15.080 --> 0:41:18.640 I am, I am. I don't know if I've disclaimed 0:41:18.640 --> 0:41:20.880 this to you, but I am not an actual I 0:41:21.239 --> 0:41:25.440 am nothing more than a man in a gecko costume. 0:41:26.640 --> 0:41:37.279 But but if you do have a genuine desire to quit, 0:41:38.640 --> 0:41:41.440 I would as always recommend that you seek some form 0:41:41.520 --> 0:41:48.799 of legitimate, legitimate help. What was the thing that you 0:41:48.880 --> 0:41:50.279 wanted to tell me that happened to you? 0:41:50.320 --> 0:41:57.479 Two months ago, me and my buddies we all left 0:41:57.480 --> 0:41:59.439 her house because they had to go to a gas 0:41:59.440 --> 0:42:03.880 station give wraps. Well, we were just going to get wraps, 0:42:03.880 --> 0:42:05.960 so we didn't carry nothing on us. Well, as soon 0:42:05.960 --> 0:42:08.120 as we leave out their house, go down the street. 0:42:08.400 --> 0:42:11.799 There's a cop sitting right across the street. So you know, 0:42:11.880 --> 0:42:15.200 we turned right. As soon as we get down a 0:42:15.280 --> 0:42:18.680 little down the road, the cop pulls out. Well, we 0:42:18.760 --> 0:42:23.359 get down to our gas station. You know, the cop 0:42:23.440 --> 0:42:26.720 blue lights us, so we get pulled over. Well, because 0:42:26.760 --> 0:42:29.600 he knows the people in the car, and he said 0:42:29.600 --> 0:42:33.759 that he smelled marijuana. He said that he could. He 0:42:33.840 --> 0:42:35.640 told me to get out of the car, and I 0:42:35.680 --> 0:42:37.520 got out. I was straight with it. I told you 0:42:37.520 --> 0:42:41.040 can search the car. There's nothing in there, and so 0:42:41.320 --> 0:42:44.279 I let him soish the car. They didn't find nothing. Well, 0:42:44.400 --> 0:42:49.520 I had jail tabs, the jail LSD, and I had 0:42:49.560 --> 0:42:55.839 paper LSD on me right there, like real stuff, not fake. Well, 0:42:55.880 --> 0:42:58.880 I should you not. When they searched that car. Another 0:42:59.000 --> 0:43:02.040 cop came, they searched that car again. They found it. 0:43:02.560 --> 0:43:05.000 He brought that up, pointed it right in my face. 0:43:05.080 --> 0:43:08.160 He was like, what are these? I told him they 0:43:08.200 --> 0:43:10.520 were stamps. You look them and you put them on there. 0:43:10.560 --> 0:43:12.680 And he looked at him, like, these are stamps. I've 0:43:12.680 --> 0:43:16.160 never seen stamps like this before. He was I'm gonna 0:43:16.200 --> 0:43:18.920 have to go do a little more research on these. 0:43:19.840 --> 0:43:22.360 So he takes them, you know, goes back to his car. 0:43:22.360 --> 0:43:24.680 I'm still standing there thinking, oh man, I'm about to 0:43:24.719 --> 0:43:28.200 go to fucking jail for live because one tab is 0:43:28.239 --> 0:43:33.520 apparently like a manslaughter charge or something or like like 0:43:33.600 --> 0:43:37.319 conspiracy against the government. And I had eight of them, 0:43:37.719 --> 0:43:41.560 so I was like, oh, fuck brou I'm gone. But 0:43:42.120 --> 0:43:44.440 he tells me to go over there. He was like, 0:43:44.560 --> 0:43:47.040 these aren't acid stamps, are they? Because I looked up 0:43:48.480 --> 0:43:51.279 stamps and that's this one word for acid. I was like, no, 0:43:51.840 --> 0:43:53.520 there's just stamps. You look them and put them on 0:43:53.560 --> 0:43:57.960 the envelope. He was like, he was like, okay, I'm 0:43:57.960 --> 0:43:59.719 gonna take your word on that. I'm gonna take it 0:43:59.760 --> 0:44:03.560 to the lad and test him. If anything comes back, 0:44:04.040 --> 0:44:07.600 we're gonna come and get you. I was like, there's 0:44:07.640 --> 0:44:12.120 just that. Well, let a load. He he letting me go, 0:44:12.600 --> 0:44:14.520 Like dude, I shipped my pants, he letting me go. 0:44:14.920 --> 0:44:17.920 I sat back in my car, but literally, the paper 0:44:17.960 --> 0:44:21.160 tabs were sitting on my front seat. I got it 0:44:21.200 --> 0:44:23.319 back in the car. They were just sitting right there. 0:44:23.400 --> 0:44:24.880 As soon as I opened my door, I was like, 0:44:24.880 --> 0:44:27.400 what the fuck? How they not even take those? But 0:44:27.480 --> 0:44:36.080 they took my jail tabs. That's it. So, yeah, that 0:44:36.200 --> 0:44:37.759 was a ramble. I'm sorry. 0:44:38.640 --> 0:44:42.520 They just flat out believed that they were snaps. 0:44:44.160 --> 0:44:48.799 Yeah, I guess so, But I'm okay, okay, there's some 0:44:48.840 --> 0:44:51.680 wors to it. The UH, the coffin story of acting 0:44:52.120 --> 0:44:54.400 like buddy buddy to me, and I ain't gonna lie 0:44:55.480 --> 0:44:58.560 because I'm likek A, I'm just okay, I'm just gonna 0:44:58.560 --> 0:45:01.359 say that. And well I asked the uh. As soon 0:45:01.400 --> 0:45:03.960 as that cop said these are acids fasts, I told him, 0:45:04.120 --> 0:45:06.680 I was like, no, what what his acid? He was like, oh, 0:45:06.760 --> 0:45:09.040 that's a bad drug. But I'm pretty sure that guy's 0:45:09.080 --> 0:45:12.359 tried it. He pointed at this other cop inside his car, 0:45:12.440 --> 0:45:13.800 and that cop started laughing. 0:45:14.760 --> 0:45:15.080 M hm. 0:45:19.440 --> 0:45:21.960 I'm pretty sure they knew what it was. They took 0:45:22.000 --> 0:45:23.759 the ship and they had good night. 0:45:25.800 --> 0:45:30.359 Really so they so they ended up auto. So they 0:45:30.360 --> 0:45:31.560 did confiscate it from you. 0:45:33.239 --> 0:45:36.280 Yeah, but they didn't like wrap it up for anything. 0:45:36.560 --> 0:45:38.480 They just pretty much they were holding you like they 0:45:38.520 --> 0:45:41.120 didn't have anything, like no fucking evidence bag or nothing. 0:45:41.760 --> 0:45:43.680 The cop was like, you ain't gonna have to pay 0:45:43.719 --> 0:45:46.719 nothing tonight. You're good to go. You all can leave, 0:45:47.320 --> 0:45:50.520 like they were like really like some like really buddy, buddy, 0:45:50.560 --> 0:45:53.480 cops ain't gonna lie and they found that ship. 0:45:54.480 --> 0:45:58.360 Listen, banana banana, banana, banana, banana. I you know, like 0:46:00.520 --> 0:46:04.080 I mean, look, thank you for sharing with us again. 0:46:04.160 --> 0:46:07.399 I appreciate that you feel comfortable enough to share this 0:46:07.400 --> 0:46:11.680 this stuff with us and everything. I am concerned though, 0:46:11.680 --> 0:46:17.319 because you sound like you know you got very if. 0:46:17.360 --> 0:46:18.840 I don't know, I don't know where you live, I 0:46:18.840 --> 0:46:20.560 don't know what the laws are or whatever whatever. But 0:46:20.600 --> 0:46:22.480 if what you are telling me is true and you 0:46:22.560 --> 0:46:24.880 had enough acid on your person to send you to 0:46:24.960 --> 0:46:30.920 jail forever, you got really lucky. 0:46:30.880 --> 0:46:38.319 Very lucky. Before my car, that ship was horrible for 0:46:38.360 --> 0:46:40.719 me because when he brought that ship right up in 0:46:40.760 --> 0:46:43.640 my face, dude, I literally put my hands behind my 0:46:43.680 --> 0:46:46.080 back like I was in handcuffs and he's like I 0:46:46.120 --> 0:46:49.799 thought there was like what that's fun? Then he was 0:46:49.960 --> 0:46:53.200 like what are these that total? There's a dance that 0:46:53.320 --> 0:46:56.280 he literally like talking to normal. 0:46:57.160 --> 0:47:00.359 But but you know, okay, look you got really oh 0:47:00.600 --> 0:47:05.160 you know, you got really lucky. Okay, And again a 0:47:05.200 --> 0:47:07.560 real counselor, I'm an insane man at a gecko costume 0:47:07.600 --> 0:47:11.120 on the internet. But and I don't have any like 0:47:11.239 --> 0:47:14.360 advice for you necessarily, but I do hope that you 0:47:14.760 --> 0:47:19.440 take how long did this happen? 0:47:22.000 --> 0:47:25.560 That happened like two months ago? 0:47:25.320 --> 0:47:27.760 And are you and are you still are you still selling? 0:47:30.120 --> 0:47:35.680 Yes? I stay out of that area. I try, I 0:47:35.760 --> 0:47:39.120 try to say, because I got pulled over three times 0:47:39.480 --> 0:47:42.640 and like maybe maybe in like a week and a 0:47:42.680 --> 0:47:45.320 half fan and they didn't give me no tickets that 0:47:45.400 --> 0:47:46.120 set one time. 0:47:47.480 --> 0:47:50.560 Well, Banana, I listen again. This is this is definitely 0:47:52.160 --> 0:47:55.239 you know, above my pay grade to advise you as 0:47:55.280 --> 0:48:01.200 as to what to do, but just as a as 0:48:01.239 --> 0:48:05.279 an entity of some kind that would like to see 0:48:05.320 --> 0:48:13.920 you avoid avoid go into jail forever and avoid causing 0:48:13.960 --> 0:48:19.319 heart to your family, I do genuinely hope that you 0:48:19.520 --> 0:48:24.879 find a better alternative to making money than doing this 0:48:24.920 --> 0:48:30.040 because dude, you know how lucky you got and I 0:48:30.080 --> 0:48:33.839 don't want you to be in that position again, right 0:48:33.880 --> 0:48:36.920 because hey, you might not get so lucky again. 0:48:42.040 --> 0:48:50.120 You're right about that. The ass is just paper, like 0:48:50.320 --> 0:48:58.440 most cops don't even know what that shit is. Can 0:48:58.480 --> 0:49:02.160 I tell one more story. 0:49:01.400 --> 0:49:04.879 Before I know? Well, listen, I know, look, we're we're, we're, 0:49:05.120 --> 0:49:09.279 we're definitely uh you know, I know you have a 0:49:09.320 --> 0:49:13.040 lot of stories about this, but I really want like 0:49:13.480 --> 0:49:16.719 you to leave at leastless call with like, fuck man, 0:49:16.800 --> 0:49:20.799 the sentiment that like, whatever it is, I don't know 0:49:20.840 --> 0:49:22.800 you man of let me talking to you for twenty minutes. 0:49:22.840 --> 0:49:27.920 But I hope that whatever it is that keeps you 0:49:29.000 --> 0:49:33.359 living this pretty dangerous lifestyle, that you find a way 0:49:33.440 --> 0:49:37.640 to get out of it. Because again I'm a broken 0:49:37.640 --> 0:49:41.040 record here, but you know you got very lucky, and 0:49:42.480 --> 0:49:46.759 I assume that that doing what you do, I would 0:49:46.800 --> 0:49:49.720 have to assume you live in consistent anxiety every single 0:49:49.800 --> 0:49:56.960 day of getting caught. I you don't. 0:49:58.400 --> 0:50:04.680 No getting getting taught for what? Say what? 0:50:04.680 --> 0:50:04.719 What? 0:50:04.960 --> 0:50:07.239 In particular, like you think the police are gonna come 0:50:07.239 --> 0:50:08.280 and just raid my house? 0:50:13.000 --> 0:50:16.200 I don't know, man, I don't know but I I 0:50:17.000 --> 0:50:22.680 think that I don't know. Man, I'm just a guy 0:50:22.760 --> 0:50:25.080 of going on the computer. But I can only wish 0:50:25.120 --> 0:50:28.320 that that you do whatever's best for you, Banana. 0:50:29.280 --> 0:50:34.080 Look, can I give like one piece of advice? Cops 0:50:34.080 --> 0:50:37.759 do not search the gas canisters, you know, like where 0:50:37.800 --> 0:50:40.279 you click the button where you like pop the ship right, 0:50:40.360 --> 0:50:43.320 you don't even have like so hold on, I'm sumbling 0:50:43.360 --> 0:50:47.920 over my words. Just wherever, like the the area opens up, 0:50:48.120 --> 0:50:50.359 you just pick your wead right there, don't due. They 0:50:50.480 --> 0:50:52.000 never search that gas area. 0:50:53.480 --> 0:50:57.160 Banana, thank you for calling and good luck to you. 0:50:59.480 --> 0:51:01.279 I hopefully I can meet you again. Sir. 0:51:04.120 --> 0:51:07.479 Hi, Hello, Hi, Hi. 0:51:08.160 --> 0:51:12.040 Mister, this is a get go. What is your name? 0:51:13.840 --> 0:51:21.640 Alexis Alexis? What's going on with you today in the world? 0:51:23.600 --> 0:51:27.280 Ah, you know, I mean the hardships of being an adult. 0:51:27.520 --> 0:51:32.879 Everything's so expensive. I talking about My mom's very excited. Yes, 0:51:33.719 --> 0:51:35.120 my mom's excited. She loved you too. 0:51:36.840 --> 0:51:39.359 Oh do you You seem like you have a good 0:51:39.360 --> 0:51:42.800 relationship with your mom? 0:51:42.880 --> 0:51:45.160 On and off? Yeah? 0:51:45.800 --> 0:51:48.360 Why where is it today? Are we on? Today? 0:51:50.280 --> 0:51:50.600 Were on? 0:51:50.680 --> 0:51:50.960 Today? 0:51:51.000 --> 0:51:51.160 You know? 0:51:51.239 --> 0:51:53.759 Everything is going good. I got groceries and stuff, so 0:51:53.880 --> 0:51:56.879 the house is taken care of it's all pretty good. 0:51:58.239 --> 0:52:03.680 So it says here that you met a guy on 0:52:03.760 --> 0:52:07.560 a sugar daddy website, but it hasn't been going well? 0:52:07.600 --> 0:52:13.279 Why why has that not been going well? Well? 0:52:13.440 --> 0:52:17.160 You know, I was forthcoming about like, hey, I'm struggling 0:52:17.239 --> 0:52:19.520 paying rent. It talks for my mom and keep it up. 0:52:19.640 --> 0:52:22.680 So all live in the Bay Area. Everything is just 0:52:22.719 --> 0:52:26.279 super expensive and he knows that. And I kind of 0:52:26.280 --> 0:52:28.560 talked with him today being like I'm kind of just 0:52:28.600 --> 0:52:32.040 living off credit and when I went to the grocery store, 0:52:32.160 --> 0:52:34.239 it was just like, oh my god, my credit card 0:52:34.280 --> 0:52:36.680 is going to work today. I'm my maxed out and 0:52:36.760 --> 0:52:38.960 I'm like here, you know, it's just it's really hard. 0:52:39.000 --> 0:52:40.960 And he's like, oh, well, you know what you should, 0:52:41.000 --> 0:52:42.480 like go to a food bank. I'm sure there's a 0:52:42.480 --> 0:52:46.719 lot of good ones around. I'm like, well, you know 0:52:47.000 --> 0:52:49.919 what the deal is. We met on seeking arrangement, So. 0:52:51.760 --> 0:52:52.759 Why are you telling me to go to. 0:52:52.719 --> 0:52:53.359 A food bank? 0:52:55.320 --> 0:52:59.520 So what is the is the goal here? Are you? 0:52:59.719 --> 0:53:01.520 So I've have you met up with this guy in 0:53:01.520 --> 0:53:02.160 person before? 0:53:04.080 --> 0:53:06.480 Yeah, I met with him like two times, and you know, 0:53:06.640 --> 0:53:09.719 he's a very nice, sweet dude. He's you know, he's 0:53:09.760 --> 0:53:13.160 like only thirty. I'm twenty two, and you know, he's 0:53:13.200 --> 0:53:14.880 really nice for He's like, yeah, I definitely want to 0:53:14.880 --> 0:53:17.040 help you out and stuff like that. And you know, 0:53:17.080 --> 0:53:17.680 he filed up. 0:53:17.560 --> 0:53:18.080 My car for me. 0:53:18.120 --> 0:53:20.759 When I went to go meet him. I just went 0:53:20.800 --> 0:53:22.719 on like a couple of dates and stuff, and I've 0:53:22.719 --> 0:53:24.920 told him I'm like, hey, you know, when you're comfortable, 0:53:25.160 --> 0:53:27.680 I'm cool to come to your house and stuff. But 0:53:27.840 --> 0:53:30.239 you know, I'm like, I feel like he's not going 0:53:30.280 --> 0:53:32.000 to come through. And I don't want to be rude 0:53:32.080 --> 0:53:35.080 or push you and go like, hey, give me money 0:53:35.200 --> 0:53:39.400 right now, but I'm like, I need money, please. 0:53:40.000 --> 0:53:40.239 See. 0:53:40.360 --> 0:53:42.000 I don't know what to tell you. I don't know 0:53:42.520 --> 0:53:54.080 necessarily the etiquette of the sugar daddy's sugar baby universe. 0:53:55.080 --> 0:53:58.640 Here I will say, I will say, I will say, 0:53:58.960 --> 0:54:02.080 if this guy that you met on this if your 0:54:02.160 --> 0:54:05.720 whole thing is that you want to find a sugar 0:54:05.800 --> 0:54:09.200 daddy and you're willing to And again, I don't know 0:54:09.280 --> 0:54:12.280 what sort of things are bringing in the big bucks. 0:54:12.320 --> 0:54:14.400 I don't know how much you have to do. I 0:54:14.400 --> 0:54:16.840 don't know what you're personally comfortable doing. I don't know 0:54:16.880 --> 0:54:19.600 any of the I don't know the universe super well. 0:54:19.960 --> 0:54:24.160 But if your goal is to find a guy who's 0:54:24.200 --> 0:54:25.520 going to give you a bunch of money, and this 0:54:25.560 --> 0:54:29.160 guy is in it, why you know, of of the 0:54:29.320 --> 0:54:34.480 whatever thousands of guys on seeking arrangements, why are you 0:54:34.560 --> 0:54:37.760 stuck with this guy? Why don't you go find more guys? 0:54:37.800 --> 0:54:40.759 If this is in fact the way that you you 0:54:40.800 --> 0:54:41.719 know that you want to do. 0:54:41.719 --> 0:54:45.880 It, I am a little bit scared and like this 0:54:45.960 --> 0:54:50.440 guy very promising just because we click really well. But 0:54:50.480 --> 0:54:52.319 it's just like I'm very scared because it's like, you know, 0:54:52.320 --> 0:54:54.839 a lot of people come in and be all like, jo, 0:54:55.120 --> 0:54:56.759 if you mean to me with me right now and 0:54:56.880 --> 0:54:59.520 have sex and I'll give you one hundred dollars or whatever, 0:54:59.560 --> 0:55:02.719 and I'm kind of like and like, this was the 0:55:02.760 --> 0:55:05.280 first guy that was actually like a very nice, normal, 0:55:05.360 --> 0:55:08.719 decent person. You know. He was saying, you know, I 0:55:08.719 --> 0:55:10.080 do want to spoil you, how but I give you 0:55:10.120 --> 0:55:12.120 like three hundred dollars every time we like meet up 0:55:12.120 --> 0:55:14.200 for a date and stuff like that and see if 0:55:14.239 --> 0:55:15.640 we get along, and you know, I want to spoil 0:55:15.680 --> 0:55:18.160 you with gifts, and I'm like cool. We went on 0:55:18.160 --> 0:55:20.120 two dates. You know, he paid for the meal he 0:55:20.160 --> 0:55:22.520 filled up my car and he's like, yeah, you know, 0:55:22.560 --> 0:55:25.000 I definitely want to help you. It's go on a 0:55:25.040 --> 0:55:28.240 few more dates. And I'm just like, I'm like, plee, 0:55:28.360 --> 0:55:31.520 I kind of you know, can you help me please? 0:55:33.400 --> 0:55:38.719 This is I'm I'm why are you afraid to ask 0:55:38.800 --> 0:55:43.200 him for money? If? I mean, look, you you sought 0:55:43.239 --> 0:55:45.440 an arrangement, as did he. 0:55:45.800 --> 0:55:46.080 M h. 0:55:46.840 --> 0:55:49.120 I feel like the writing is on the wall as 0:55:49.200 --> 0:55:55.480 to sort of the arrangement, which is you sort again, 0:55:55.520 --> 0:55:58.480 I don't know the universe that well, so this is 0:55:58.520 --> 0:56:01.600 just me started making this efferent air. But the arrangement 0:56:01.760 --> 0:56:04.680 being sought is that he gives you money and you 0:56:04.760 --> 0:56:10.360 in turn spend spend romantic and I guess implied sexual 0:56:10.400 --> 0:56:12.040 time with him. 0:56:12.600 --> 0:56:17.439 Mm hmm yeah, pretty much. It's scared turn them off 0:56:17.640 --> 0:56:18.200 and he'll. 0:56:18.000 --> 0:56:24.560 Be like, yeah, so are you afraid to to to 0:56:24.880 --> 0:56:31.680 reinforce the sort of grounds of the arrangement by saying, Hey, listen, 0:56:31.719 --> 0:56:33.080 you know I'll go out on a date with you, 0:56:33.160 --> 0:56:37.200 but this ain't tender. This is seeking arrangements. You gotta 0:56:37.280 --> 0:56:37.960 pay me for this. 0:56:40.600 --> 0:56:43.400 Yeah, I'm just scared to be I'm not very confrontational. 0:56:43.600 --> 0:56:45.759 You know, I'm a cancer, So it's very hard for 0:56:45.800 --> 0:56:48.520 me just be like, hey, you know what the deal is? 0:56:51.040 --> 0:56:53.120 Well, I mean, look, and by the way, maybe you know, 0:56:53.200 --> 0:56:56.960 maybe you ask a more seasoned sugar baby about the 0:56:57.000 --> 0:57:00.440 best way to go about it, but yeah, you might 0:57:00.480 --> 0:57:02.360 have to get a little bit of confrontational and just 0:57:02.680 --> 0:57:04.480 it's not even it's not a confrontation. Don't look at 0:57:04.520 --> 0:57:07.960 it as a confrontation. But uh look, you know you 0:57:07.960 --> 0:57:09.840 gotta go out there, you gotta lay out the uh 0:57:10.040 --> 0:57:12.600 layout again, the grounds of the arrangement. Let me bring 0:57:12.680 --> 0:57:18.560 up one other thing by the way before we and 0:57:18.560 --> 0:57:20.560 and again, I you know, I think I think that 0:57:20.640 --> 0:57:23.040 any way that you could make money is you know, 0:57:23.680 --> 0:57:25.560 I'm not gonna say it's not a legitimate way, but like, 0:57:26.480 --> 0:57:29.280 have you considered other ways of making money? If if 0:57:29.280 --> 0:57:31.640 this is like you know, because you you you you 0:57:31.720 --> 0:57:35.400 sound like you have safety concerns, which are very legitimate concerns, 0:57:38.080 --> 0:57:42.960 and you know, you sound like you're I I I 0:57:43.240 --> 0:57:44.680 don't know, I'm not gonna put words in it, but 0:57:44.720 --> 0:57:46.400 you sound like you don't want to have sex with 0:57:46.440 --> 0:57:50.800 people for money. Have you thought about other ways that 0:57:50.880 --> 0:57:55.000 you could make money out outside of seeking arrangements? 0:57:56.120 --> 0:57:58.240 Yeah, I have a full time job. I look at 0:57:58.240 --> 0:58:00.000 Tesla and it's like, you know, the pay is good, 0:58:00.280 --> 0:58:03.120 it's just I try to work over time as much 0:58:03.120 --> 0:58:05.560 as I can, and it's just it's killing me. But 0:58:05.800 --> 0:58:07.840 I'm not going to go just get another part time job, 0:58:07.920 --> 0:58:11.320 because over time that'd probably be making like thirty to 0:58:11.360 --> 0:58:14.640 forty bucks an hour if I work, you know, sixty 0:58:14.800 --> 0:58:20.680 seventy hours a week. You know, it's just like I 0:58:20.720 --> 0:58:23.040 don't know, and it's seed like, just a little bit 0:58:23.040 --> 0:58:25.080 of that help for just a little bit longer until 0:58:25.120 --> 0:58:28.280 my mom can hold the job and I have. 0:58:28.400 --> 0:58:32.360 Six It's fine, but I'm sorry, I'm sorry I laughed, 0:58:32.400 --> 0:58:34.600 but I was just I feel like if you work 0:58:34.600 --> 0:58:41.200 at I'm I feel like, So you work at Tesla, Yeah, 0:58:41.280 --> 0:58:45.320 full time fortune five hundred company, Yeah, full time job. 0:58:48.440 --> 0:58:52.560 So where are your money struggles? Lying? Is it that 0:58:54.200 --> 0:58:56.480 you're trying to support your mom and you don't make 0:58:56.600 --> 0:58:59.720 enough money to support both you and her? Where is 0:58:59.760 --> 0:59:03.440 the what's the sort of the big money issue that 0:59:03.480 --> 0:59:04.240 you're trying to solve. 0:59:06.000 --> 0:59:08.840 Yeah, it's just I'm paying all the bills by myself. 0:59:08.840 --> 0:59:11.320 You move into this place recently, and my mom kind 0:59:11.320 --> 0:59:13.920 of just she can't hold a job. She kind of 0:59:13.960 --> 0:59:16.640 just walks off and doesn't want to like stay, or 0:59:16.800 --> 0:59:19.120 she doesn't want to go back, and then it's kind 0:59:19.120 --> 0:59:21.520 of just all falls on me. And I had a 0:59:21.560 --> 0:59:23.840 boyfriend who worked at Tesla and he helped me out 0:59:23.840 --> 0:59:26.400 a little bit, but things just got really really bad 0:59:26.400 --> 0:59:28.880 between us, so I had to kind of stick we're 0:59:28.960 --> 0:59:31.080 doing and now it's just kind of all on me, 0:59:31.160 --> 0:59:32.760 and I'm like, oh, gosh, okay, well I need to 0:59:32.840 --> 0:59:36.440 do something that's just kind of quick, easy money. Just 0:59:36.480 --> 0:59:38.480 make sure rent's paid on time, to make sure we 0:59:38.480 --> 0:59:40.640 can have groceries and all of that. 0:59:43.400 --> 0:59:45.640 Well, you know, look, if you've explored other ways of 0:59:45.720 --> 0:59:48.000 trying to make a little bit of side hustle money 0:59:48.040 --> 0:59:50.960 and you've decided that this is the right one for you, 0:59:51.760 --> 1:00:00.400 then you know, don't be afraid to be confrontational as 1:00:00.520 --> 1:00:03.919 to the nature, because at the end of the day, 1:00:03.920 --> 1:00:07.480 seeking arrangements, at the end of the day, the sugar 1:00:07.560 --> 1:00:12.600 baby sugar daddy arrangement is a business transaction. And if 1:00:12.800 --> 1:00:17.680 you know, I am a freelance anything, if I'm a 1:00:17.720 --> 1:00:23.880 freelance photographer or a freelance artist or a freelance girlfriend, 1:00:25.120 --> 1:00:29.280 I should really have no problem with asking people to 1:00:29.280 --> 1:00:31.960 pay their invoices. And that's just a part of being 1:00:31.960 --> 1:00:36.280 a freelancer. Whatever it is, you are freelancing. So if 1:00:36.280 --> 1:00:39.880 this is the side hustle that you have decided to pursue, 1:00:40.480 --> 1:00:42.520 I invite you to look at this as an opportunity 1:00:42.920 --> 1:00:49.200 to do one of the necessary parts of freelancing, which 1:00:49.240 --> 1:00:50.840 is asking to get paid. 1:00:54.000 --> 1:00:56.600 I think you know it seems silly, but talking to 1:00:56.600 --> 1:00:59.560 you actually helped make me feel better good. 1:00:59.560 --> 1:01:02.640 I'm glad to hear that. Give your best to uh. 1:01:03.160 --> 1:01:05.320 I was about to say, give your best to my mom, 1:01:05.680 --> 1:01:08.840 but you're not. You don't know my mom. 1:01:08.960 --> 1:01:11.480 Give well, I do give them my best. 1:01:11.520 --> 1:01:13.400 To your mom. And I think you calling. 1:01:15.000 --> 1:01:16.400 Thank you so much? Having good night? 1:01:19.600 --> 1:01:20.760 Hello? Is this leave. 1:01:23.120 --> 1:01:23.320 Yes? 1:01:23.520 --> 1:01:25.280 Si leaves Lee. 1:01:25.280 --> 1:01:28.080 It says here that you have an obsession with lawnmowers. 1:01:29.080 --> 1:01:32.920 You currently have six of them, Yes, but you want more? 1:01:35.240 --> 1:01:36.520 Yes, I do want more. 1:01:38.200 --> 1:01:39.880 And what is driving this obsession? 1:01:42.320 --> 1:01:48.760 Well, honestly, like when you sit there and you work 1:01:48.800 --> 1:01:53.080 on these lawnmowers, and once you get them running and 1:01:53.280 --> 1:01:56.439 you can just ride around on them, and it's it's 1:01:56.440 --> 1:01:59.560 like a reward in itself. You can line them up 1:01:59.600 --> 1:02:02.760 and you need to pictures of them. You know, they're 1:02:02.760 --> 1:02:06.240 a lot cheaper than than cars, they're easier to get 1:02:06.280 --> 1:02:12.120 a hold of. You know what I'm saying, No, no, no, I. 1:02:12.280 --> 1:02:14.520 I now that you've explained it and you've sort of 1:02:14.560 --> 1:02:17.560 analogized it to the types of people who have like 1:02:17.600 --> 1:02:20.320 garages and garages of cars and the big car people, 1:02:21.760 --> 1:02:23.680 it actually makes a lot of sense why you would 1:02:23.720 --> 1:02:27.400 be obsessed with lawnmowers, because not everybody has the financial 1:02:27.440 --> 1:02:30.840 tools to keep cars and cars of, to keep garages 1:02:30.880 --> 1:02:34.040 and garages of of of you know, collectible cars, but 1:02:34.520 --> 1:02:39.040 you know collecting lawnmowers. Being a lawnmower enthusiast a lot 1:02:39.160 --> 1:02:46.080 more affordable of a hobby with a very similar sort 1:02:46.120 --> 1:02:50.640 of idea behind it. You know, there's engines, there's models, 1:02:50.680 --> 1:02:54.800 there's all the sort of same stuff to gain. 1:02:58.200 --> 1:02:58.840 Exactly. 1:02:59.360 --> 1:03:02.440 And you seem like people have told me that I 1:03:02.520 --> 1:03:05.560 have a problem, like I just get too many of them. 1:03:05.960 --> 1:03:10.040 I don't see it that way, like cause like literally 1:03:10.080 --> 1:03:13.400 like every two weeks, I'll either like just get another 1:03:13.440 --> 1:03:15.360 one or just trade one of the ones that I 1:03:15.360 --> 1:03:18.320 currently have for a different one. Like I'm always on 1:03:18.400 --> 1:03:20.960 the search for a new type of onanmomer. 1:03:20.520 --> 1:03:21.840 I haven't had before. 1:03:23.960 --> 1:03:32.200 And is the pul And the crazy part. 1:03:32.080 --> 1:03:34.160 Is speaks to you the most. 1:03:35.760 --> 1:03:43.720 Yes, the nineteen sixties Sears customs are my favorite. They 1:03:43.840 --> 1:03:48.280 just they hit so different, well because they are like 1:03:48.480 --> 1:03:52.520 the simplest, like you just just pull the starter and 1:03:52.560 --> 1:03:56.080 it's not one little belt that turns the whole thing, 1:03:56.480 --> 1:04:00.080 and it's just such a simple machine. But yet it 1:04:00.240 --> 1:04:04.959 so capable, like they can do so much, Like there's 1:04:05.000 --> 1:04:07.000 so much more than just a lawnmo. 1:04:07.520 --> 1:04:12.600 You know what I'm saying, absolutely absolutely, How many long 1:04:12.640 --> 1:04:13.120 moments and. 1:04:14.880 --> 1:04:18.640 Throughout the course of your life do you hope to own? 1:04:20.880 --> 1:04:23.240 Oh, like from the rest of my life? 1:04:24.000 --> 1:04:27.360 Oh when will you? 1:04:27.480 --> 1:04:30.680 Oh man, I don't see myself stop them before one hundred. 1:04:30.800 --> 1:04:35.600 Until you gaze upon them and go that is enough. 1:04:38.840 --> 1:04:42.760 Well, I'd say at one time, I'd say I could. 1:04:43.600 --> 1:04:47.640 I could handle fifteen at one time, but all the 1:04:47.760 --> 1:04:51.439 different kinds I would like to have, I don't see 1:04:51.480 --> 1:04:57.760 myself stopping before one hundred or so, you know. And 1:04:57.880 --> 1:05:00.960 the crazy part is, I I don't even like mowing 1:05:01.040 --> 1:05:04.840 my grass. I just like the mowers themselves. 1:05:05.480 --> 1:05:07.280 Your lawn with. 1:05:07.360 --> 1:05:12.600 Them, Well, I have like one or two that I 1:05:12.640 --> 1:05:15.240 do mow my lawn with. I just don't like mowing 1:05:15.280 --> 1:05:18.680 the lawn. I just like the lawnmower with themselves. 1:05:19.440 --> 1:05:23.040 M hmm. Do you like to ride the mowers? 1:05:25.120 --> 1:05:29.320 Yes, I will actually get on one of my lawnmowers 1:05:29.840 --> 1:05:32.880 and I'll go check the cows, I'll go get my mail. 1:05:33.440 --> 1:05:36.240 I'm next weekend, I'm planning on driving it all the 1:05:36.240 --> 1:05:39.560 way to the grocery store, just just because I can. 1:05:39.760 --> 1:05:42.840 You know, m. 1:05:45.280 --> 1:05:48.080 Do they have parking for lawnmowers? 1:05:50.800 --> 1:05:55.240 Not specific parking, but the way I look at it, 1:05:56.360 --> 1:05:57.840 what are they going to tell me to do? Just 1:05:58.560 --> 1:06:01.720 move the lawnmower, and once it's there, I don't really 1:06:01.720 --> 1:06:08.439 think anybody will do anything about it. That's true, Yeah, 1:06:08.520 --> 1:06:11.320 because like they'll be stuff like right down the road 1:06:12.240 --> 1:06:14.800 that I could easily just drive my vehicle to, but 1:06:14.880 --> 1:06:18.600 I'll prefer to take the lawnmower, just as there's a 1:06:18.600 --> 1:06:19.480 different feel to it. 1:06:24.560 --> 1:06:26.600 Do you know anyone else who's obsessed with lawnmowers or 1:06:26.640 --> 1:06:29.640 are you alone in this hobby? Hobby? 1:06:30.280 --> 1:06:35.440 Well, I actually I have a lawnmower group of friends. 1:06:35.560 --> 1:06:38.000 Now they don't have as many as I do, but 1:06:38.080 --> 1:06:41.400 we do have like this little group where we'll go 1:06:41.600 --> 1:06:43.560 ride lawnmowers together. 1:06:47.280 --> 1:06:49.720 Like a sort of lawnmower gang. 1:06:51.680 --> 1:06:55.880 Yeah, it's it's called mower Mafia, and we'll get together 1:06:56.240 --> 1:06:58.400 and we'll just ride the lawnmowers and then we'll talk 1:06:58.440 --> 1:06:58.840 about them. 1:07:00.160 --> 1:07:00.600 M hmm. 1:07:02.920 --> 1:07:03.560 Yeah. 1:07:03.600 --> 1:07:08.760 Do you guys ever go to war with other lawnmower clubs? 1:07:11.320 --> 1:07:14.280 Well, we haven't come across any other ones yet. I 1:07:14.480 --> 1:07:18.240 like or like a pack of wolves just running the 1:07:18.360 --> 1:07:21.040 area with the lawnmower area, you. 1:07:21.000 --> 1:07:22.919 Know, right running your. 1:07:25.040 --> 1:07:29.200 Yeah, yeah, turf. It's a good analogy since it's lawnmowers. 1:07:31.840 --> 1:07:32.920 What did you say? Your name was. 1:07:34.840 --> 1:07:35.280 Lee? 1:07:36.320 --> 1:07:37.320 Thank you for calling Lee. 1:07:39.040 --> 1:07:40.640 Yeah, you have a nice night, mister Gid. 1:07:42.600 --> 1:07:43.400 Hello Forrest. 1:07:45.440 --> 1:07:46.360 Hey, look up. 1:07:47.880 --> 1:07:50.120 That you wanted to talk about your sugar addiction. 1:07:52.200 --> 1:07:54.880 Yeah, yeah, we could definitely talk about that. I was 1:07:54.960 --> 1:07:59.720 just I finally finished all the podcasts and I remember 1:08:00.280 --> 1:08:03.200 that being one of the older episodes. I think, and 1:08:04.160 --> 1:08:08.840 I also have a sugar addiction, don't yeah, don't learning. 1:08:10.640 --> 1:08:14.920 Sad to report sad to report that, although you may 1:08:14.960 --> 1:08:17.320 have heard me complain about having a sugar addiction and 1:08:17.400 --> 1:08:21.680 an older episode of the podcast that today as of 1:08:21.720 --> 1:08:28.920 this recording on January thirty first, on twenty twenty two. 1:08:30.320 --> 1:08:35.920 I still have quite the addiction to sugar. What's your game? 1:08:36.800 --> 1:08:38.479 Your what are you? What are your what's your stuff? 1:08:38.479 --> 1:08:41.440 What's your poison? What's your vice? Butterfingers? 1:08:41.720 --> 1:08:42.200 Right now? 1:08:42.760 --> 1:08:43.800 What you, dude? 1:08:44.080 --> 1:08:44.760 What's killing you? 1:08:44.920 --> 1:08:45.200 Dude? 1:08:45.560 --> 1:08:45.880 I do? 1:08:46.600 --> 1:08:50.640 I do a sonic blast with butterfingers and Oreos. You 1:08:50.680 --> 1:08:54.720 get both and it's a dynamite combination, dude. 1:08:55.040 --> 1:09:00.439 You ever had for during Halloween, Baskin Robbins, We'll do 1:09:00.560 --> 1:09:05.200 this flavor of Oreo called Oreo Trick or Treat and 1:09:05.240 --> 1:09:10.559 it's fucking Oreo cookie with butterfinger and Babe Ruth and 1:09:10.640 --> 1:09:15.439 I think Heath bar all in one ice cream thing. 1:09:17.640 --> 1:09:20.400 That sounds heavenly, that sounds fantastic. 1:09:22.720 --> 1:09:24.479 Here's my thing. Tell me if you can relate to 1:09:24.520 --> 1:09:27.280 this at all, because I'm going to give you sort 1:09:27.320 --> 1:09:29.680 of my thoughts about my whole thing, and then I 1:09:29.680 --> 1:09:33.680 want to hear yours. I'm so glad we we can 1:09:33.720 --> 1:09:36.240 talk about this because I most of my friends are 1:09:36.280 --> 1:09:41.200 like pretty like normal people when it comes to like 1:09:41.240 --> 1:09:43.200 how they eat and stuff, and I'm kind of not. 1:09:44.320 --> 1:09:50.880 I am backing, I'm back and forth between. My life 1:09:50.880 --> 1:09:53.800 would be a lot better. I'd feel better. I used 1:09:53.840 --> 1:09:55.840 to care about looking good. Now I don't. I only 1:09:55.840 --> 1:09:59.080 care about feeling good. But I would feel a lot 1:09:59.160 --> 1:10:07.559 better if I ate correctly. I didn't indulge and uh, 1:10:07.720 --> 1:10:11.000 you know, did push ups blah blah blah whatever. But 1:10:12.520 --> 1:10:18.400 I also fucking love I love eating oreo chok or 1:10:18.400 --> 1:10:22.599 treat ice cream. I love eating food, trying different foods, 1:10:22.640 --> 1:10:25.720 different candies or whatever whatever. There are definitely lots of 1:10:25.760 --> 1:10:29.360 times in which I overdo it and it's like totally overindulging. 1:10:30.479 --> 1:10:35.320 But would my life be easier if I just continued 1:10:35.360 --> 1:10:39.320 living the way I lived but made it an intentional decision. 1:10:39.439 --> 1:10:41.080 And I was like, all right, I'm not gonna beat 1:10:41.120 --> 1:10:43.880 myself up over this anymore. I'm just gonna live this 1:10:43.920 --> 1:10:49.240 way unapologetically. And I'm in between those two things where 1:10:50.120 --> 1:10:52.519 if you're not if you're gonna, you know, eat a 1:10:52.560 --> 1:10:55.559 bunch of bad shit but then feel bad about it, 1:10:55.760 --> 1:10:57.400 then why are you even doing it? If you're gonna 1:10:57.400 --> 1:10:59.120 do it, you just commit to doing It'd be like, yeah, 1:10:59.160 --> 1:11:01.600 fuck it, I'm eating a butter finger breakfast, lunch and 1:11:01.640 --> 1:11:03.840 dinner bucket. This is my life. I accept that you'll 1:11:03.880 --> 1:11:06.720 be happier or you just go all in and you go, no, 1:11:06.800 --> 1:11:09.479 I'm not doing that anymore. And you know, but sitting 1:11:09.479 --> 1:11:14.320 on the fence like this is what's causing me the distress. 1:11:14.680 --> 1:11:15.880 Can you relate to that at all? 1:11:17.640 --> 1:11:21.400 Yeah? Yeah, I can relate to that, like radical acceptance 1:11:21.840 --> 1:11:27.559 of Baskin Robbins for sure, you know, just yeah, I 1:11:27.600 --> 1:11:31.920 don't know, man, it's definitely. I feel like for me, 1:11:32.000 --> 1:11:37.400 it's a combination of a bunch of different things. I think. Well, 1:11:37.479 --> 1:11:42.160 the first thing is that, like I'm highly distractable, and 1:11:42.240 --> 1:11:46.360 so with any food, if I just have like a 1:11:46.439 --> 1:11:49.040 source of it somewhere near me, which is usually the case, 1:11:49.320 --> 1:11:51.840 I'll just go through the whole fucking thing without realizing, 1:11:52.360 --> 1:11:56.600 you know. So that's kind of one thing that I 1:11:56.640 --> 1:11:59.240 know about me. But yeah, what else. 1:11:59.479 --> 1:12:02.439 It's like where like you'll be like, oh, there's a 1:12:02.479 --> 1:12:04.960 box of cheese. It's like a whole box, and it'll 1:12:05.040 --> 1:12:07.599 start going on before you know it, the whole you 1:12:07.800 --> 1:12:08.040 ate the. 1:12:07.960 --> 1:12:11.479 Whole brow It's funny you said cheese. Its I was 1:12:11.520 --> 1:12:14.400 literally taking care of my friend's dog and they had 1:12:14.400 --> 1:12:16.960 a I was like, oh shit, they had a family 1:12:17.040 --> 1:12:20.640 size thing of cheese. It's in the cupboard, and like 1:12:20.680 --> 1:12:23.920 I'm gonna lunch on these, and then over the weekend 1:12:24.000 --> 1:12:25.680 I just ate the whole damn thing by myself. I 1:12:25.720 --> 1:12:28.519 gave I gave like five cheese its to the dog 1:12:29.600 --> 1:12:30.320 and the rest are for me. 1:12:30.880 --> 1:12:33.240 I always every time there's a situation like that, I 1:12:33.280 --> 1:12:38.439 always sort of like overestimate what amounts of the box 1:12:38.760 --> 1:12:42.960 other people have eaten. Yeah, you know what I'm saying, 1:12:43.000 --> 1:12:46.280 You're eat the whole box. I gave the dog ten 1:12:46.400 --> 1:12:48.640 cheese its, where really you gave them only five? You know, 1:12:48.720 --> 1:12:49.559 I do that kind of thing. 1:12:51.520 --> 1:12:54.439 It's like the whole heap problem, where you know, like 1:12:54.720 --> 1:12:57.639 you have enough to say it's like a heap of something, 1:12:58.000 --> 1:13:00.799 but then you know, eventually it gets smaller and smaller, 1:13:00.840 --> 1:13:02.559 and then all of a sudden it's just like a 1:13:02.600 --> 1:13:06.080 few crumbs left over. So then you can't like justify 1:13:06.120 --> 1:13:08.439 it anymore. You gotta find you got to strike that balance. 1:13:09.400 --> 1:13:12.479 Mm hmmm hmmm. So have you ever made an attempt 1:13:12.560 --> 1:13:17.240 to cut out or or just in general to eat healthier, 1:13:17.680 --> 1:13:20.320 live live better and all that stuff. 1:13:21.880 --> 1:13:27.400 I've done really well before. Actually, Like so I guess 1:13:27.920 --> 1:13:32.639 I should say I have ADHD right, But I also 1:13:33.120 --> 1:13:35.720 have looked a lot into how to kind of work 1:13:35.760 --> 1:13:40.040 with that, and has been able to in the past 1:13:40.400 --> 1:13:45.400 tailor my surroundings to make it easier for me to 1:13:46.040 --> 1:13:50.480 uh make those decisions, because a big thing with ADHD 1:13:50.600 --> 1:13:55.040 is in impulsivity. Uh. And then I also like personally 1:13:55.600 --> 1:13:58.400 can't I don't have no sense of time or you know, 1:13:58.479 --> 1:14:03.759 kind of talking earlier about you know, just mindlessly smacking 1:14:03.880 --> 1:14:08.760 a lot of that. But like, yeah, I'd always been 1:14:08.800 --> 1:14:11.400 like lifting weights ever since high school. And then there's 1:14:11.439 --> 1:14:15.839 a point there where I was like in really great shape. 1:14:16.160 --> 1:14:21.360 You know, I was like, uh, bench pressing like a 1:14:21.360 --> 1:14:24.559 little bit more than my body weight and like twice 1:14:24.680 --> 1:14:29.800 my and I'd squatting like twice my body weight. And yeah, 1:14:29.840 --> 1:14:33.240 I wasn't like eating sugar at all besides like natural 1:14:33.280 --> 1:14:36.479 sugar and fruits and stuff, of course, But yeah, and 1:14:36.520 --> 1:14:40.160 then I just like, you know, it's it's ebb and flow. 1:14:40.680 --> 1:14:47.320 It's like, uh, you know, you flow into the deluge 1:14:47.360 --> 1:14:50.760 of like garbage food, right, and then then you come 1:14:50.800 --> 1:14:53.280 out after you've had enough, and then you know, you 1:14:53.320 --> 1:14:55.439 just go back down. But it's just over a long 1:14:55.439 --> 1:14:56.080 period of time. 1:14:57.520 --> 1:15:02.880 Yeah, yeah, do you so you've had multiple periods where 1:15:03.080 --> 1:15:06.519 you were like there wasn't a sort of first half 1:15:06.880 --> 1:15:09.080 in shape, second half out of shape. It was like 1:15:10.080 --> 1:15:11.880 a little bit of time in shape, you know, a 1:15:11.920 --> 1:15:13.360 little bit of time out of shape, a little bit 1:15:13.320 --> 1:15:15.040 of time in, a little time out, like sort of 1:15:15.040 --> 1:15:17.440 a back and forth type of thing. 1:15:18.560 --> 1:15:23.240 Yeah, it's that classic sort of yo yo, right. But 1:15:23.280 --> 1:15:25.880 I've always like loved food. And that's the thing is 1:15:25.880 --> 1:15:27.479 that you know, I go back to it because you know, 1:15:27.479 --> 1:15:29.360 it just tastes so good, and you know, I get 1:15:29.400 --> 1:15:31.960 really into cooking. That's usually that brings me back into 1:15:32.000 --> 1:15:35.640 it because I like make some homemade cookies or some 1:15:35.760 --> 1:15:39.160 shit and I'm like, oh damn, I forgot about these. 1:15:40.080 --> 1:15:45.439 M It's that's one of the tough things is that 1:15:46.479 --> 1:15:49.479 you can't like achieve fitness in the same way that 1:15:49.520 --> 1:15:51.839 you can achieve climbing to the top of a mountain. 1:15:52.680 --> 1:16:00.799 It's like it's an ever demanding thing to stay in shape. 1:16:01.479 --> 1:16:04.320 You know, I've gotten job a little bit like you 1:16:04.400 --> 1:16:08.320 Ebb and Flow. I've gotten in shape many times, but 1:16:08.600 --> 1:16:12.280 you really need to have it be a permanent lifestyle 1:16:12.479 --> 1:16:19.519 change to stay there. But we listen food, I'm like you, 1:16:19.680 --> 1:16:22.000 I love food, man, and so you know, it's it's 1:16:22.000 --> 1:16:29.120 hard to it's hard to stay in the healthy lifestyle 1:16:29.240 --> 1:16:32.280 mindset for so long. I mean, you can do the keto, 1:16:32.400 --> 1:16:34.720 you can do the whatever, you can do the you know, 1:16:34.760 --> 1:16:40.240 you're oh, I'm gonna only eat vegetables every Tuesday, whatever 1:16:40.280 --> 1:16:42.719 your thing is. But if you can't do that for 1:16:42.760 --> 1:16:46.639 your entire life, you're eventually gonna, you know, balloon back up. 1:16:48.000 --> 1:16:50.480 Yeah, you're just gonna You're just gonna die eventually. 1:16:50.560 --> 1:16:50.720 You know. 1:16:50.760 --> 1:16:56.439 It's kinna No, I think that, uh, you know, you 1:16:56.479 --> 1:16:58.880 can do it. I think you can have a good 1:16:58.920 --> 1:17:01.880 balance of both. It will eventually happen, I feel like 1:17:01.960 --> 1:17:02.840 for the both of us. 1:17:03.240 --> 1:17:04.360 And uh, but. 1:17:05.920 --> 1:17:08.960 Yeah, you just gotta yeah, accept that you're gonna be 1:17:08.960 --> 1:17:11.599 like somewhere in the middle, you know, and then eventually 1:17:11.640 --> 1:17:13.320 it will just like level out there. 1:17:15.000 --> 1:17:19.920 What'd you say? Your name was, Man, Forest Forrest. I 1:17:19.960 --> 1:17:24.640 will see you at Pete today at Planet Fitness. 1:17:25.800 --> 1:17:29.040 All right, man, you have a good night, my getto friends. 1:17:29.760 --> 1:17:30.559 Take care baby. 1:17:31.439 --> 1:17:31.719 Hello. 1:17:32.800 --> 1:17:33.920 Hello is this Eden? 1:17:35.280 --> 1:17:36.559 Yes? Hi Lyle? 1:17:37.800 --> 1:17:41.880 Hello Eden? How are you? Oh? 1:17:41.960 --> 1:17:45.400 I am fucking tastic now. 1:17:47.240 --> 1:17:52.120 Uh here And you brought up two things that you 1:17:52.200 --> 1:17:55.360 wanted to talk about. One was about your jaw and 1:17:55.400 --> 1:17:57.000 the other one was that you said you're having a 1:17:57.120 --> 1:18:03.880 gender crisis. Now. Of those two things, let's let's talk 1:18:03.880 --> 1:18:05.080 about one or the other. 1:18:06.120 --> 1:18:08.920 Personally, I'd personally to talk about the gender issue, but 1:18:09.040 --> 1:18:09.679 you can pick. 1:18:09.840 --> 1:18:13.080 Really sure, let's talk about the gender issue. But is 1:18:13.200 --> 1:18:17.320 do you have? Do you have pronouns or or an 1:18:17.320 --> 1:18:19.439 identity of which that you would like us in the 1:18:19.520 --> 1:18:22.920 chat to to refer to you by this current moment. 1:18:25.320 --> 1:18:29.360 Right now, we're just going to go for them pronouns 1:18:29.640 --> 1:18:31.320 beautiful and like just neutrality. 1:18:31.800 --> 1:18:34.880 I don't know, So what's what is this? What is 1:18:34.920 --> 1:18:36.160 this crisis? 1:18:36.720 --> 1:18:36.880 Eden? 1:18:39.920 --> 1:18:49.280 So I in twenty fourteen. In twenty fourteen, I team 1:18:49.320 --> 1:18:56.040 out as a trans man, and so I can't started transitioning. 1:18:55.720 --> 1:18:58.519 Real quick, real quick, quick, real quick, real quick before it. 1:18:58.560 --> 1:19:01.920 But am I on like eagerphone or headset or like 1:19:02.000 --> 1:19:04.320 anything other than you just holding the phone to your man? 1:19:06.280 --> 1:19:07.280 Yeah, let me fix that? 1:19:08.160 --> 1:19:08.599 Beautiful? 1:19:10.200 --> 1:19:10.800 Is that better? 1:19:11.720 --> 1:19:14.679 Much better? Continue? What were you saying? You said something 1:19:14.680 --> 1:19:15.599 about twenty fourteen? 1:19:17.200 --> 1:19:19.680 Okay, Yeah, so I came out as trans. I came 1:19:19.680 --> 1:19:23.280 out as a trans man female to male in twenty 1:19:23.360 --> 1:19:30.280 fourteen and started my transition from there, just so that 1:19:30.360 --> 1:19:36.160 I can put my head. Okay, And you know, so 1:19:36.240 --> 1:19:39.160 I've been living my life as a man since for 1:19:39.520 --> 1:19:41.599 what is that almost eight years now. 1:19:41.840 --> 1:19:44.360 And damn it, eight years. 1:19:45.880 --> 1:19:48.840 Yeah, May twenty fourteen is when I came out. 1:19:49.120 --> 1:19:52.160 I go, sorry, I interrupted you with my realization of 1:19:52.200 --> 1:19:53.080 the passage of time. 1:19:54.840 --> 1:19:56.800 No, you're all good, it's been it's been a fat 1:19:56.840 --> 1:20:03.680 fucking minute, and like, okay, so god, okay. So I 1:20:03.800 --> 1:20:08.400 was engaged to another transman for a couple of years, 1:20:08.600 --> 1:20:16.200 and at some point in our relationship, I realized that I. 1:20:15.200 --> 1:20:17.320 Don't identify as a man anymore. 1:20:18.439 --> 1:20:21.719 And the thing. 1:20:21.600 --> 1:20:24.679 Is, I got top surgery, So I got my breasts removed, 1:20:24.720 --> 1:20:28.439 I got my name legally changed. I look like a man. 1:20:28.520 --> 1:20:31.960 I've lived my life as a man for you know, 1:20:32.080 --> 1:20:35.160 my entire adult life so far. I'm almost twenty one, 1:20:36.120 --> 1:20:40.040 and you know, I have been since fucking middle school. 1:20:40.280 --> 1:20:46.200 And I couldn't talk to him about it because he 1:20:46.320 --> 1:20:49.120 wasn't able to get surgery, he wasn't able to change 1:20:49.160 --> 1:20:53.880 his name, and he got personally very offended that I 1:20:53.920 --> 1:20:57.840 could have regrets about these privileges that I was given. 1:20:58.840 --> 1:21:04.600 And so yeah, so he made his you know, his 1:21:04.760 --> 1:21:07.439 issues mine, and it just forced me back into the 1:21:07.479 --> 1:21:13.840 closet basically. And so the best that I could get 1:21:13.880 --> 1:21:17.400 away with without starting a fight at home was coming 1:21:17.439 --> 1:21:21.599 out as non binary. So I've been living my best 1:21:21.720 --> 1:21:25.479 day them life for like eight months, but I'm still 1:21:25.520 --> 1:21:26.960 not happy. 1:21:28.320 --> 1:21:30.800 And you're no, go ahead. I want to want to 1:21:30.840 --> 1:21:32.240 be finish for before I chime him. 1:21:33.920 --> 1:21:38.439 Okay, no worries, but see, it all came to a 1:21:38.479 --> 1:21:40.800 head this morning. So I started dating assist man. So 1:21:40.880 --> 1:21:43.799 I started dating a man who was born with a penis, right, and. 1:21:43.760 --> 1:21:45.960 Uh, so you broke up. So you broke up with 1:21:46.160 --> 1:21:47.360 the other guy that you were seeing. 1:21:48.640 --> 1:21:52.320 Yeah, yeah, we broke up like six months ago. And 1:21:54.600 --> 1:21:58.439 so I'm dating a new guy now and I just 1:21:58.439 --> 1:22:00.280 got a new job. He bought me a p of 1:22:00.320 --> 1:22:04.000 work pants from the women's section and they gave me 1:22:04.160 --> 1:22:07.760 Kim Possible vibes. I felt like Kim Possible wearing them, 1:22:07.960 --> 1:22:11.720 and it made me fucking songs. I just I was like, 1:22:11.840 --> 1:22:16.559 holy shit, but you know, and I just it was 1:22:16.640 --> 1:22:20.120 this sense of gender euphoria that I haven't felt in 1:22:20.320 --> 1:22:24.280 fucking years. And like, I just realized, I want to 1:22:24.280 --> 1:22:26.439 wear dresses and I want to have long hair, and 1:22:26.479 --> 1:22:27.960 I want to be pretty, and I don't want to 1:22:28.000 --> 1:22:30.120 be as boyfriend. I want to be his fucking girlfriend. 1:22:30.200 --> 1:22:35.519 And like, it's just I spent so long working the 1:22:35.560 --> 1:22:38.960 transphobia out of my family and working my way into 1:22:39.000 --> 1:22:42.920 being respected as a man, only for all of this 1:22:43.000 --> 1:22:45.120 to come tumbling down, and I want to undo it. 1:22:45.160 --> 1:22:48.040 And it's just like, oh, the trauma. I don't want 1:22:48.080 --> 1:22:49.840 to go through the trauma again, you. 1:22:49.720 --> 1:22:54.880 Know, And so I don't. 1:22:56.160 --> 1:22:56.599 I don't know. 1:22:56.800 --> 1:22:57.679 I've been listening. 1:22:57.960 --> 1:23:00.439 I started from the very beginning of you know what 1:23:00.479 --> 1:23:05.479 you've uploaded on Spotify, and and I've met you, and 1:23:05.560 --> 1:23:08.280 I have talked before, talked to you, and I and 1:23:08.280 --> 1:23:10.680 my friend Shannon I talked a few months ago in 1:23:10.720 --> 1:23:14.400 September when I first diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. 1:23:15.160 --> 1:23:22.000 Remember yeah, he didn't, Yes, well you so let'sen all right? 1:23:22.160 --> 1:23:29.360 So so so uh, let's see, Okay, So you were 1:23:29.400 --> 1:23:33.439 born female, your top surgery and or you came out 1:23:33.560 --> 1:23:37.439 in as a as a transman in twenty fourteen, you 1:23:37.520 --> 1:23:42.719 had your surgery, and you lived as a transman for 1:23:43.560 --> 1:23:44.200 eight years. 1:23:44.280 --> 1:23:50.840 You said, yeah, and then now you tried on the 1:23:50.880 --> 1:23:54.800 kimpossible pants And am I here? Am I hearing that 1:23:55.000 --> 1:23:58.160 you are like, oh shit, now you want to like, 1:23:58.400 --> 1:24:01.840 you know, be more more eminem and you you and you, 1:24:01.920 --> 1:24:04.720 and you're looking to Here's the thing with all this, 1:24:04.840 --> 1:24:07.880 by the way, is like maybe maybe I don't know, 1:24:07.880 --> 1:24:10.320 maybe there's a little bit of like sunk cost fallacy 1:24:11.040 --> 1:24:13.680 here where like, oh, you lived is one thing for 1:24:14.760 --> 1:24:17.600 so long, right, and you did all that work to 1:24:17.760 --> 1:24:21.519 like convince your family you know, you have to deal 1:24:21.520 --> 1:24:23.280 with you said, you said to deal with a bunch 1:24:23.280 --> 1:24:27.880 of bullshit for like a year, and so now you're like, well, fuck, 1:24:27.880 --> 1:24:29.760 I have to deal with all that bullshit and I 1:24:29.760 --> 1:24:31.719 want to go back And is that and that's fucking 1:24:31.720 --> 1:24:31.960 with you? 1:24:33.920 --> 1:24:35.600 Yeah? 1:24:36.160 --> 1:24:38.880 Yeah, And I basically I just want to like I 1:24:39.000 --> 1:24:41.679 just want to move away and startle for where nobody 1:24:41.720 --> 1:24:43.360 knows who the fuck I am and I can just 1:24:44.360 --> 1:24:49.600 be me without having to explain the transness. 1:24:49.720 --> 1:24:49.960 You know. 1:24:52.040 --> 1:24:55.120 But I just started this job and I don't have 1:24:55.240 --> 1:24:57.080 any fucking money, and like. 1:24:58.000 --> 1:25:00.000 Oh, it's so obnoxious. 1:25:01.000 --> 1:25:03.599 Why did I have to have this realization at seven 1:25:03.640 --> 1:25:07.240 in the morning putting on a pair of pants. 1:25:08.360 --> 1:25:12.800 By the way, okay, listen, I know you're looking at this, 1:25:12.960 --> 1:25:14.680 and and by the way, I just want to say 1:25:14.720 --> 1:25:17.280 I just want to like disclaim I want to disclaim 1:25:17.360 --> 1:25:20.360 this real quick because I like to disclaim this when 1:25:20.400 --> 1:25:23.560 I'm dealing with these kinds of issues because I am 1:25:23.600 --> 1:25:29.080 a sis straight guy, so I can't truly with what 1:25:29.120 --> 1:25:31.160 you're going through. So I just like to disclaim that 1:25:31.800 --> 1:25:33.840 up front before I talk about these kind of things 1:25:34.240 --> 1:25:37.160 so that people are like, because you know, it's important 1:25:37.160 --> 1:25:41.559 to disclaim that. But I do feel like it's it's 1:25:41.640 --> 1:25:43.559 it's it's just it's one of the things of like 1:25:43.640 --> 1:25:47.240 feeling like, you know, I think it's a good thing 1:25:47.880 --> 1:25:52.240 to like change, go back and forth, Like that's a strength. 1:25:52.280 --> 1:25:57.400 It's a strength to like know, oh, this isn't for me, 1:25:57.600 --> 1:25:59.880 I gotta go back, right Because if if you truly 1:26:00.000 --> 1:26:03.080 I do feel like you're a woman and you want 1:26:03.120 --> 1:26:08.240 to go back to living like that, why should the 1:26:08.439 --> 1:26:14.240 past define whether or not you can do that? 1:26:15.920 --> 1:26:16.120 Right? 1:26:16.520 --> 1:26:20.840 Like like like why like why be chained? And I 1:26:20.920 --> 1:26:22.720 get it? I get there, Like, fuck, I just went 1:26:22.720 --> 1:26:27.960 through all that stuff I lived eight years, but like 1:26:28.040 --> 1:26:32.640 you're not, You're not chained to the past, right, I. 1:26:34.200 --> 1:26:34.400 Get. 1:26:34.560 --> 1:26:36.960 I get where these feelings are coming from, at least 1:26:36.960 --> 1:26:40.360 if they get it. But I don't. I don't feel 1:26:40.360 --> 1:26:42.680 like you should be chained to the past, Like how 1:26:42.680 --> 1:26:44.840 old are you? Twenty one? 1:26:46.280 --> 1:26:46.880 Yeah? Almost? 1:26:49.439 --> 1:26:53.400 Until well, shit, dude, like you you're twelve and you 1:26:53.479 --> 1:26:56.200 have years and years and years ahead of you to 1:26:56.240 --> 1:26:58.840 go live as a beautiful woman and wear all the 1:26:58.920 --> 1:27:03.920 dresses you want. You know, why, why why at twenty 1:27:04.000 --> 1:27:07.519 one would you want to be like, well, I've lived 1:27:07.520 --> 1:27:09.360 this way my whole life, so I have to live 1:27:09.360 --> 1:27:13.479 the rest of my life this way. I don't know 1:27:13.760 --> 1:27:15.360 that that's how I feel. 1:27:17.439 --> 1:27:20.320 That's yeah, that's pretty much what my boyfriend said, but 1:27:20.520 --> 1:27:21.880 it hits different coming from you. 1:27:21.960 --> 1:27:22.639 For some reason. 1:27:24.960 --> 1:27:27.559 I have the object, I have the I have the 1:27:27.720 --> 1:27:31.080 uh the gecko third party. 1:27:31.880 --> 1:27:33.679 But right, no, I mean. 1:27:33.560 --> 1:27:35.760 That's that's how that's how I feel. It's like, you know, 1:27:35.840 --> 1:27:38.280 if you've been living the way that you've lived in 1:27:38.320 --> 1:27:42.200 the past, you shouldn't have any you know, effect on 1:27:42.280 --> 1:27:46.800 how you live to the future, right Like whatever, man 1:27:46.880 --> 1:27:54.799 put the put that chapter behind you and fucking go 1:27:54.800 --> 1:27:59.000 go go live, go fuck it, go live be a 1:27:59.040 --> 1:28:02.519 woman for a year. You be non binary for if 1:28:02.680 --> 1:28:05.559 swept and sweat do who cares? Why are you ever 1:28:05.600 --> 1:28:10.120 behold You're never beholden to be what you once were, right, 1:28:10.880 --> 1:28:15.920 you know, right, that's how I heard how I feel. 1:28:15.920 --> 1:28:18.479 I don't know if I don't know if this was helpful. Again, 1:28:18.680 --> 1:28:20.840 you know, I'm happy to talk about these things, but 1:28:20.960 --> 1:28:23.519 I don't like talk about it too much because I'm 1:28:23.960 --> 1:28:27.120 you know, I can't fully empathize with the situation and 1:28:27.200 --> 1:28:31.360 not my place and all that. But you know, I 1:28:31.680 --> 1:28:32.519 hope that was helpful. 1:28:34.120 --> 1:28:36.519 No, it was, it was, And like, I don't know, 1:28:36.560 --> 1:28:38.439 you were one of the first people that I thought 1:28:38.439 --> 1:28:41.600 of when it when the whole realization came, because you know, 1:28:41.760 --> 1:28:44.200 I work eight and a half hour days and I 1:28:44.360 --> 1:28:47.360 listened to your show on Spotify. I started from the 1:28:47.520 --> 1:28:50.840 very first Spotify episode and I'm just listening from the 1:28:50.840 --> 1:28:54.080 fucking beginning, you know, I fucking. 1:28:54.320 --> 1:28:58.000 Like, I don't know. Every time something I emailed. 1:28:57.600 --> 1:28:59.840 You a couple of months ago, every time something big happens, 1:28:59.840 --> 1:29:02.479 I just want to know what the fucking gag thinks O. 1:29:03.640 --> 1:29:05.040 You know, like, I don't know. 1:29:06.360 --> 1:29:08.280 I know you're not like a real therapist, but you're 1:29:08.320 --> 1:29:11.599 a real person and you have good things to say, 1:29:11.720 --> 1:29:13.040 you have good input usually. 1:29:13.280 --> 1:29:17.040 Well, thank you very much, Eden, again, wishing you the 1:29:17.080 --> 1:29:21.200 courage to not let the past to find you given 1:29:21.240 --> 1:29:25.280 your gecko energy and thank you for condy and you 1:29:25.280 --> 1:29:27.280 have a good rest of the name cow. 1:29:29.720 --> 1:29:32.479 Yes as le. 1:29:36.720 --> 1:29:36.880 Hey. 1:29:37.080 --> 1:29:41.000 While so I kind of want to talk today. It 1:29:41.000 --> 1:29:43.360 seems like the subject had kind of been changing to 1:29:43.560 --> 1:29:46.800 morality and this kind of fits me. I really haven't 1:29:46.800 --> 1:29:51.760 told anyone this other than the screener before. I'm gonna 1:29:51.760 --> 1:29:54.760 make it short. And you know this is a no 1:29:54.880 --> 1:29:58.839 judge in free zone. So a little background. I trained 1:29:58.880 --> 1:30:03.040 people how to fly planes and small engine planes, and 1:30:03.120 --> 1:30:07.559 normally there's weight limits. Well, I had someone that was 1:30:07.760 --> 1:30:12.160 critically obese, let's say about three hundred and fifty pounds. Well, 1:30:12.200 --> 1:30:14.240 I didn't want to fly him because it's a safety issue. 1:30:14.360 --> 1:30:18.280 My boss is money hungry, so because of that, I 1:30:18.360 --> 1:30:21.200 was doing things that I could legally do, like taking 1:30:21.240 --> 1:30:23.640 out fuel and not being able to complete all the 1:30:23.640 --> 1:30:27.840 flights I could. Well, one day he's good enough to 1:30:27.920 --> 1:30:31.439 go for like a check to see his performance, so 1:30:31.479 --> 1:30:34.760 my boss has got to fly him. Well, they weren't 1:30:34.800 --> 1:30:37.080 able to complete the whole flight because of his weight, 1:30:37.760 --> 1:30:40.479 and so the boss sits there and gets a scale 1:30:40.520 --> 1:30:42.400 out and it's one of these old medical scales in 1:30:42.439 --> 1:30:45.479 his office and they're all standing there. He hops on 1:30:45.560 --> 1:30:48.280 the scale. They're looking at it, trying to size it up, 1:30:48.320 --> 1:30:52.000 and I might have put my foot on there to 1:30:52.080 --> 1:30:54.800 make it exaggerate even more than what he already weighs. 1:30:55.560 --> 1:30:58.400 So because of that, it shows that he's about right 1:30:58.439 --> 1:31:01.479 around four hundred. Boss tells him, you know, he can't 1:31:01.680 --> 1:31:06.640 fly anymore, and the kid is heart broken. But my 1:31:07.640 --> 1:31:10.240 morality is in question because I have done something wrong. 1:31:10.400 --> 1:31:15.880 This kid has spent thousands of dollars, but now he's 1:31:15.920 --> 1:31:19.200 lost like over one hundred pounds and is trying to 1:31:19.200 --> 1:31:23.240 get back into flying. So I also feel partially responsible 1:31:23.280 --> 1:31:26.280 for his newfound success and for him to further on. 1:31:26.600 --> 1:31:29.639 And I can't tell anybody or say anything about it 1:31:29.760 --> 1:31:31.800 because I feel so wrong about what I did in 1:31:31.840 --> 1:31:34.400 that room, and it was just me that knows. 1:31:35.840 --> 1:31:39.280 So here's what I don't fully. Here's what I kind 1:31:39.280 --> 1:31:44.120 of some clarification on is So this kid was to 1:31:44.240 --> 1:31:51.080 obese to fly safely correct and you said you put 1:31:51.120 --> 1:31:52.720 a little bit about You said you you sort of 1:31:52.840 --> 1:31:54.640 fucked with the weighing process and put a little bit 1:31:54.640 --> 1:31:57.360 extra weight on him. Do you think that had you? 1:31:58.000 --> 1:32:02.719 I mean, if he was already obese did the extra 1:32:02.800 --> 1:32:07.439 weight that you put on the scale even affects the 1:32:07.560 --> 1:32:09.679 sort of final decision of whether or not he could fly? 1:32:11.640 --> 1:32:11.840 You know? 1:32:11.960 --> 1:32:14.559 And that's a good question. I like to think. I 1:32:14.600 --> 1:32:17.160 tell myself that maybe I wasn't all responsible for it, 1:32:17.240 --> 1:32:18.880 but I did just put my foot on the back. 1:32:19.400 --> 1:32:21.639 But I had seen him around. It's a small town, 1:32:21.640 --> 1:32:24.040 in a grocery store, and the car is full of 1:32:24.080 --> 1:32:27.880 more two leaders than anything I've ever seen, and more 1:32:28.320 --> 1:32:32.040 little debu cakes than any actual greens or foods. So 1:32:32.200 --> 1:32:34.160 maybe he actually did weigh That is what I tell 1:32:34.200 --> 1:32:36.439 myself at night to sleep better. But I just I 1:32:36.439 --> 1:32:39.679 don't know gek, and it's ate me alive. But again, 1:32:39.720 --> 1:32:43.360 I still feel partially responsible for his success to lose 1:32:43.439 --> 1:32:45.599 over one hundred pounds and be able to safely return 1:32:45.640 --> 1:32:45.960 to flying. 1:32:47.120 --> 1:32:51.360 So why again, I know, that's our clarification is why 1:32:51.400 --> 1:32:56.519 did you put your foot on the scale? Was the intention? 1:32:56.720 --> 1:32:59.559 So that was it? Like you had the intention to 1:32:59.600 --> 1:33:01.760 protect Tim? Was it that you just didn't want to 1:33:01.800 --> 1:33:04.240 fly and a plane with him because you were afraid? 1:33:04.880 --> 1:33:07.000 You know? What? Was what was the intention behind that? 1:33:08.680 --> 1:33:08.960 Okay? 1:33:09.000 --> 1:33:12.200 Well, to be completely honest, when I first met him, 1:33:12.280 --> 1:33:15.240 I was very honest. I said, hey, your weight is 1:33:15.240 --> 1:33:17.320 pretty high. If you want to be a professional pilot 1:33:17.320 --> 1:33:21.439 one day, like you're gonna have to lose your weight. Well, 1:33:21.439 --> 1:33:23.639 he found he found a doctor that says he's good 1:33:23.680 --> 1:33:26.559 to go, which should have been a red flag. And 1:33:26.600 --> 1:33:29.120 then I'm having to take out a lot of fuel 1:33:29.160 --> 1:33:31.160 out of the plane. So instead of doing two to 1:33:31.200 --> 1:33:33.800 three hour flights, I'm only able to do one hour. 1:33:34.200 --> 1:33:36.880 And he says he's losing weight and he's drinking water 1:33:36.920 --> 1:33:39.559 around me, which I think is right. And so I 1:33:39.640 --> 1:33:41.559 was like, you know what, my boss is money hungry. 1:33:41.640 --> 1:33:43.519 This kid doesn't want to listen to me. It seems 1:33:43.560 --> 1:33:45.280 like nobody in the world was listening to me when 1:33:45.280 --> 1:33:47.000 I'm just trying to be safe. So I was like, 1:33:47.360 --> 1:33:49.479 I'm gonna if he steps on the scale, and he did, 1:33:49.520 --> 1:33:50.800 I was like, I'm put my foot on the. 1:33:50.720 --> 1:33:51.200 Back of it. 1:33:54.320 --> 1:33:59.120 M Yeah, this is a classic Like this is a 1:33:59.120 --> 1:34:07.439 classic thing of a moral dilemma where you perform an 1:34:07.479 --> 1:34:10.439 action that you seem to and I gain. I'm not 1:34:10.479 --> 1:34:13.080 here to interpret what is or is not moral. I'm 1:34:13.120 --> 1:34:15.800 just talking along with you as you're sort of telling 1:34:15.840 --> 1:34:18.680 me all this. So you're doing what you consider to 1:34:18.760 --> 1:34:21.720 being a moral action by putting your foot down on 1:34:21.800 --> 1:34:25.720 the scale, and you're doing it with what could be 1:34:25.800 --> 1:34:30.800 considered a virtuous intention, which is trying to keep this 1:34:30.880 --> 1:34:33.640 guy from being in a plane that crashes to the 1:34:33.640 --> 1:34:35.000 ground and kills everyone in it. 1:34:37.240 --> 1:34:40.920 Yeah, but it almost feels like, you know we were 1:34:40.960 --> 1:34:43.360 talking earlier in the show. You're talking about you know, 1:34:43.560 --> 1:34:46.120 what is life? And who is me? And where are 1:34:46.160 --> 1:34:48.840 we the real me? The real question I have is 1:34:48.960 --> 1:34:51.280 then it kind of drives me to like who do 1:34:51.360 --> 1:34:53.160 I talk to if I can't talk to anyone? Well, 1:34:53.200 --> 1:34:55.920 in Cartholicism, they talk to the priest and they give 1:34:55.960 --> 1:34:57.920 off their sins and they do a hell Mary and 1:34:57.920 --> 1:35:01.080 and they're let go. Where is my redemption in that? 1:35:01.360 --> 1:35:03.519 And does the priest even feel the type of weight 1:35:03.560 --> 1:35:05.080 of their sins? Like how do they go home with 1:35:05.080 --> 1:35:05.439 their day? 1:35:08.560 --> 1:35:09.839 Are you? Are you a Catholic? 1:35:12.000 --> 1:35:13.200 I am agnostic? 1:35:14.680 --> 1:35:20.360 Okay, So you feel as though you have a heavy 1:35:20.400 --> 1:35:27.880 weight to bear with your own actions and what you 1:35:27.920 --> 1:35:31.479 considered to be sins, and you're sort of left to 1:35:31.560 --> 1:35:36.479 your own devices on how to sit with these things. 1:35:37.960 --> 1:35:40.360 Yeah, and then I just the worst part is is 1:35:40.439 --> 1:35:42.599 when I tell you it's small town. It's a small town. 1:35:43.040 --> 1:35:45.120 I don't tell people what I do for a living. 1:35:45.200 --> 1:35:47.479 I like to say that I teach. And I meet 1:35:47.479 --> 1:35:50.439 a girl and she's talking about how she's been on 1:35:50.439 --> 1:35:53.439 her brother, her little brother, about losing weight, and I'm like, oh, 1:35:53.479 --> 1:35:55.400 I know what you mean. I'm kind of understudent. I 1:35:55.439 --> 1:35:58.320 really need to lose weight. And then it turns out 1:35:58.640 --> 1:36:02.919 that she's actually related to him because she just randomly 1:36:03.000 --> 1:36:05.800 name dropped him one time, and I get scared because 1:36:05.800 --> 1:36:08.240 I'm like, oh my god, I'm now in the universe 1:36:08.400 --> 1:36:11.639 is punishing me because I like this girl. And now 1:36:11.720 --> 1:36:13.680 I feel like, how am I ever going to overcome 1:36:14.600 --> 1:36:17.720 doing this to that kid? And then just keep this 1:36:17.840 --> 1:36:19.920 a secret forever? Where's my confession? 1:36:23.880 --> 1:36:25.960 Are you against confessing? And even if you were to, 1:36:26.200 --> 1:36:27.960 who would you confess to? Would you confess to the kid? 1:36:28.200 --> 1:36:31.880 Are you still working with him? 1:36:32.120 --> 1:36:33.439 I'm at a whole different place. 1:36:33.560 --> 1:36:34.160 I delete it. 1:36:34.240 --> 1:36:36.720 I was just toxic, and I was more scared of 1:36:37.920 --> 1:36:40.040 what if there's someone else like this because I could 1:36:40.080 --> 1:36:44.080 see myself easily doing this again. But to confess it 1:36:44.400 --> 1:36:48.000 to him, I would feel more comfortable confessing to the 1:36:48.000 --> 1:36:51.280 girl it's related to him, because you know, maybe she 1:36:51.400 --> 1:36:53.280 can judge me for my character and say, you know, 1:36:53.320 --> 1:36:56.559 maybe you did the right thing even though it was wrong. 1:36:56.800 --> 1:37:00.040 I don't know. Gex I'm just morally confused and it 1:37:00.120 --> 1:37:01.720 keeps me up. I can't even tell my friends about 1:37:01.720 --> 1:37:03.080 it because I'm scared of what they'll think. 1:37:06.400 --> 1:37:13.920 I'll tell you the the sort of thought in my 1:37:14.080 --> 1:37:16.759 head of like, if you need something to do, because 1:37:16.800 --> 1:37:18.120 you seem like you need something to do, you have 1:37:18.160 --> 1:37:22.680 this like restless again armchair gecko therapy, but you have 1:37:22.760 --> 1:37:28.320 this like restless feeling within you that's caused by like, 1:37:29.360 --> 1:37:31.560 you know, you feeling like you don't know whether or 1:37:31.600 --> 1:37:36.200 not you did the right thing. So I don't know, 1:37:36.240 --> 1:37:39.680 we can't really take back our actions or anything. I 1:37:39.720 --> 1:37:42.160 mean when you're referring to this whole thing of like 1:37:42.760 --> 1:37:44.960 you can go to the confession area and you can 1:37:45.000 --> 1:37:47.480 tell the priest what you did, and then it's absolved 1:37:47.520 --> 1:37:49.200 and you can move past that. You can move on. 1:37:50.960 --> 1:37:57.880 Maybe you just absolve yourself and then moving forward, right, 1:37:58.320 --> 1:38:02.200 whatever sort of virtue thing you were trying to accomplish, 1:38:03.680 --> 1:38:07.320 keeping this guy safe, encouraging him to be healthy, whatever 1:38:07.400 --> 1:38:13.599 it is that was your positive intention, continue to move 1:38:13.640 --> 1:38:21.280 forward with that positive intention, right, Okay, continue to sure 1:38:21.400 --> 1:38:24.040 sure again. You know I'm talking out of my ass 1:38:24.040 --> 1:38:26.120 a little bit here, but hit me. 1:38:26.760 --> 1:38:29.120 Oh no, I think you're fine. And it kind of 1:38:29.120 --> 1:38:32.040 brings me the question of how do we like We 1:38:32.040 --> 1:38:36.400 were talking about existental crisis issues, So how do we 1:38:36.479 --> 1:38:38.880 know who is the real Lyle? We know you as 1:38:38.920 --> 1:38:41.360 Gek and Lyle, but who is Lyle to Lyle? 1:38:43.080 --> 1:38:48.120 Who is Liele to Lyle? Oh jeez, I don't know. 1:38:48.160 --> 1:38:50.320 I'm a bunch of different things. Well, this is this 1:38:50.400 --> 1:38:53.000 is what I was talking about last stream. It's like, 1:38:53.040 --> 1:38:56.320 I don't know if there is a real me. I mean, 1:38:56.360 --> 1:39:00.679 this is whatever you see on this Twitch stream obviously 1:39:00.840 --> 1:39:02.639 is not what I act like or who I am 1:39:02.720 --> 1:39:06.240 one hundred percent of the time. But it's no more 1:39:06.800 --> 1:39:11.599 real or fake than how I act when I'm alone, 1:39:11.880 --> 1:39:13.519 And how I act when I'm alone is no more 1:39:13.520 --> 1:39:17.200 real or fake than how I act when I'm meeting 1:39:17.200 --> 1:39:19.240 a new person for the first time and going hello, 1:39:19.320 --> 1:39:21.920 how are you up at the You know, they're all 1:39:22.000 --> 1:39:27.240 just versions of the self. Unranked complete end is my 1:39:27.400 --> 1:39:28.320 version of the self. 1:39:29.120 --> 1:39:31.680 Is my version of the self when I stip on 1:39:31.720 --> 1:39:36.599 that scale? Is that just in only my truth, because 1:39:36.600 --> 1:39:38.040 no one else knows that I did that. 1:39:39.720 --> 1:39:42.200 Yeah, that's a version of who you are, the least 1:39:42.240 --> 1:39:48.280 at least according to you know, my haphazardly crafted philosophy 1:39:48.360 --> 1:39:50.920 of the real selves and whatever. Yeah, that's a version 1:39:50.960 --> 1:39:53.719 of who you are. Yeah, all the bad, the most 1:39:53.840 --> 1:39:56.360 terrible shit you've not that that you know, Not that 1:39:56.360 --> 1:39:58.479 I'm judging that as terrible. I'm just saying this separately. 1:39:58.520 --> 1:40:02.479 But all the most terrible shit you've ever done, it's 1:40:02.520 --> 1:40:05.400 probably you. But also all the greatest stuff you've ever done, 1:40:05.479 --> 1:40:09.920 that's you. Two they coexist in a weird, smelly bubble 1:40:11.040 --> 1:40:14.920 of uh, you know, blood and farts. That is a 1:40:15.120 --> 1:40:16.360 human body and brain. 1:40:18.960 --> 1:40:22.280 So how do I go about going forward and making 1:40:22.280 --> 1:40:24.799 sure that I don't do something like this again? Because 1:40:25.439 --> 1:40:28.519 maybe not in this situation of wait, what if I 1:40:28.560 --> 1:40:31.479 see someone that is maybe you know, not paying attention 1:40:31.520 --> 1:40:34.120 to the details or for example, on their phone, on 1:40:34.200 --> 1:40:38.560 their flying and then you know, I kind of circumvene 1:40:38.760 --> 1:40:42.439 in another way that is maybe in the shadows like 1:40:42.479 --> 1:40:45.559 how I did before. Am I right to do that? 1:40:45.960 --> 1:40:48.960 Or am I not so moral authority to say? 1:40:49.040 --> 1:40:49.120 What? 1:40:49.200 --> 1:40:49.599 It's good? 1:40:50.360 --> 1:40:52.160 Here's the last thing. Here's The last thing I'll say 1:40:52.160 --> 1:40:56.519 about this is in those situations that you just mentioned, Look, 1:40:56.840 --> 1:40:59.719 your job. I don't know if you've told this explicitly 1:40:59.720 --> 1:41:01.360 the way you job is, but you work in flying. 1:41:01.840 --> 1:41:06.400 You are in your classroom or whatever you call it 1:41:06.680 --> 1:41:10.960 with the flying guys people. You are the safety authority. 1:41:11.080 --> 1:41:15.439 That's your job is to keep people safe. Right, So, like, 1:41:15.479 --> 1:41:20.320 that's your job in that whole sphere is to keep 1:41:20.320 --> 1:41:22.120 people safe. So you don't have to do that shit 1:41:22.160 --> 1:41:24.720 in the shadows. Right If someone's on their phone while 1:41:24.720 --> 1:41:27.320 they should be paying attention to some flight shit, you 1:41:27.320 --> 1:41:29.519 can call them out on it. You can do whatever 1:41:29.800 --> 1:41:32.280 whatever you were gonna do in the shadows, just do 1:41:32.400 --> 1:41:35.560 it in the light. That's your job. You know. I 1:41:35.560 --> 1:41:38.960 wouldn't feel bad about that, all. 1:41:38.920 --> 1:41:41.640 Right, So I guess another version of myself is just 1:41:41.680 --> 1:41:44.320 a safety element, and don't be in the shadows about 1:41:44.320 --> 1:41:46.400 it and just say, hey, he's too fat. 1:41:48.439 --> 1:41:51.000 Look if you know, if he's too fat for him 1:41:51.040 --> 1:41:53.600 to fly safely, then fuck you got you gotta speak up. 1:41:53.600 --> 1:41:55.400 You gotta be like, hey, he's too fat to fly safely. 1:41:55.479 --> 1:41:57.200 Don't you know you're not being an asshole. You just 1:41:58.320 --> 1:42:00.639 trying to protect him from crashing the plan of dying. 1:42:03.880 --> 1:42:06.040 Thank you so much, Keg. I mean, I'm gonna I 1:42:06.040 --> 1:42:07.519 feel better now actually talking. 1:42:07.360 --> 1:42:12.439 About Are you still here, Kyle cut out. 1:42:13.200 --> 1:42:15.519 Yeah, I'm always here. I mean, the one thing that 1:42:15.920 --> 1:42:18.479 I love the most about it is is like you said, 1:42:18.520 --> 1:42:21.560 you take the authority, but be proud in the authority. 1:42:21.760 --> 1:42:24.120 But know what you're doing is just. And I think 1:42:24.160 --> 1:42:26.439 I've always just had conflicting feelings about what is just 1:42:26.520 --> 1:42:29.439 because others might not see my reasoning for what is just? 1:42:30.600 --> 1:42:34.720 Mm hm hm, Well do you see it though? 1:42:34.760 --> 1:42:36.800 And you've give I mean, you've given me much to 1:42:36.920 --> 1:42:39.640 You've given me much to think about. Alex, No, I 1:42:39.640 --> 1:42:42.360 don't know I called you. I'm terrible with names. Step 1:42:42.680 --> 1:42:44.519 I called another guy Alex today and that was in 1:42:44.640 --> 1:42:47.719 his name. You've given me much to think about, Kyle. 1:42:48.240 --> 1:42:52.240 You've given me much to think about. But I I gotta, 1:42:52.479 --> 1:42:54.360 I gotta get out of here before this gets too 1:42:54.400 --> 1:42:58.080 deep and before my head starts uh sort of uh 1:42:58.160 --> 1:43:02.320 convulsing into some kind of black hole that cannot be reversed. 1:43:02.400 --> 1:43:05.880 But you know, thank you for bringing this to light 1:43:05.920 --> 1:43:07.400 with us. And I hope you have a good rest 1:43:07.400 --> 1:43:07.640 of the night. 1:43:07.720 --> 1:43:12.799 Kyle, Thank you, le thank you for always being you beautiful. 1:43:12.840 --> 1:43:17.519 Thank you man. Hello, Hey, this is Jack. 1:43:18.160 --> 1:43:19.160 Yes, this is Jack. 1:43:20.439 --> 1:43:24.559 Jacket says here that you exclusively sit down when you 1:43:24.600 --> 1:43:29.800 pee and that you have Yes, I do you would 1:43:29.840 --> 1:43:30.360 like to share with you? 1:43:30.520 --> 1:43:34.360 Yes, I would like to share this with you. I 1:43:34.479 --> 1:43:38.000 was not expecting that. I'm thrilled right now that I'm 1:43:38.040 --> 1:43:39.720 on call, so I just want you to know that. 1:43:41.840 --> 1:43:44.479 But yeah, I have a story behind that. I have 1:43:44.520 --> 1:43:46.360 a story behind that, and it is a It is 1:43:46.400 --> 1:43:50.599 a traumatic one from when I was very young, because 1:43:50.600 --> 1:43:52.680 whenever I tell people I sit down to pee, they're like, 1:43:52.720 --> 1:43:55.200 why don't Why don't you stand up? You're a guy, 1:43:55.320 --> 1:43:59.519 you know. But so when I was around the age 1:43:59.560 --> 1:44:04.200 of three or five, it was like five, four or five, 1:44:04.320 --> 1:44:07.320 that age range. Okay, you know how, you're pretty short 1:44:07.360 --> 1:44:08.160 at that time, you know. 1:44:10.439 --> 1:44:12.040 Oh, when you're five years old. 1:44:12.040 --> 1:44:15.880 Child's pretty sure. Yeah, child is pretty short at like five. 1:44:15.960 --> 1:44:18.559 Yeah, children traditionally are very small. 1:44:18.640 --> 1:44:26.479 Yes, yes, so well, I uh, I have this vivid 1:44:26.520 --> 1:44:31.120 memory of the toilet falling down, like the seat falling 1:44:31.160 --> 1:44:36.879 down on me, and there was blood. It was painful, 1:44:37.920 --> 1:44:44.080 and I my penis was injured. To say the least 1:44:44.320 --> 1:44:48.719 that day. And uh, that is that is the reason 1:44:48.760 --> 1:44:51.320 for why I sit down to pee most of the time. 1:44:51.960 --> 1:44:53.000 The toilet pretty. 1:44:52.800 --> 1:44:57.280 Much exclusively fell. The toylet seat fell onto your penis. 1:44:58.720 --> 1:45:00.760 Yes, when I was like three or five, Yes, like 1:45:01.040 --> 1:45:01.599 four or five. 1:45:01.720 --> 1:45:09.160 I mean, but we've got we've got little jack and 1:45:09.560 --> 1:45:16.080 you have the the toilet seat up. Yeah, you're a 1:45:16.200 --> 1:45:20.960 small guy, so like the so so you're standing up. 1:45:21.400 --> 1:45:24.599 And the realm I'm standing up I was very young. 1:45:24.560 --> 1:45:25.840 Is like, so the rim of the. 1:45:26.080 --> 1:45:28.840 Something I don't remember, I'm sorry for. 1:45:29.920 --> 1:45:40.360 Yes, the toilet seats is at exact pianist level. And 1:45:40.360 --> 1:45:42.360 and stop me, stop me if i'm if I if 1:45:42.360 --> 1:45:43.560 I have the incorrect. 1:45:43.160 --> 1:45:45.599 But the rim of the You're pretty correct so far. 1:45:46.360 --> 1:45:54.839 The your little penis is resting upon the rim of 1:45:55.120 --> 1:46:02.080 the toilet seat, and then the top two parts of 1:46:02.120 --> 1:46:04.840 the toilet, the bowl that you sit on, and then 1:46:04.920 --> 1:46:10.000 the sort of the lid come crashing down and crush 1:46:10.320 --> 1:46:11.240 your little penis. 1:46:13.360 --> 1:46:17.599 Yes, it was. It was bloody. It was. This blood 1:46:17.640 --> 1:46:21.920 was not red. This blood was it was I remember 1:46:22.120 --> 1:46:24.720 vividly remember the being. It wasn't like terrible, but there 1:46:24.800 --> 1:46:26.400 was there was quite a bit of blood. And it 1:46:26.439 --> 1:46:29.120 was not red. If I remember correct, I do not 1:46:29.160 --> 1:46:31.519 remember this blood being read, or maybe my memory is 1:46:31.640 --> 1:46:34.800 completely wrong. But that was the weirdest thing. I'm like, 1:46:34.960 --> 1:46:38.760 was that blood was that Maybe I'm confused to this 1:46:38.880 --> 1:46:41.840 day what I saw if I'm being completely honest, or 1:46:41.880 --> 1:46:44.800 if I if this is a child memory being incorrect, 1:46:44.800 --> 1:46:48.160 you know, because that it's possible. But I know for 1:46:48.200 --> 1:46:49.519 a fact this did happen. 1:46:50.520 --> 1:46:55.160 Okay, and so so is and so how old are 1:46:55.160 --> 1:47:00.640 you now? I'm eighteen, You're eighteen? And how old are 1:47:00.680 --> 1:47:01.360 you when this happens? 1:47:01.640 --> 1:47:05.120 Yeah, like I said, I was about like four or 1:47:05.120 --> 1:47:07.400 five years old. I was very young, four. 1:47:07.240 --> 1:47:09.439 Fairst Okay, so this is thirteen years in the making. 1:47:09.600 --> 1:47:12.280 So for the for the for the following thirteen years, 1:47:12.320 --> 1:47:13.879 you only sat down when your peede. 1:47:15.160 --> 1:47:16.760 I've had a few times where I stand up, but 1:47:16.800 --> 1:47:19.000 it's just I'm so used to sitting down at this point. 1:47:19.040 --> 1:47:21.200 I don't see the point too. I mean, obviously, I'll 1:47:21.240 --> 1:47:23.479 use a journal if I'm at like a you know 1:47:23.520 --> 1:47:25.519 what I mean, Okay, like a yournal is different. But 1:47:25.520 --> 1:47:28.559 if i'm at if I'm specifically at a toilet, though, 1:47:28.600 --> 1:47:29.360 I will sit down. 1:47:30.040 --> 1:47:33.000 So this was my expecific question. So, so this is 1:47:33.040 --> 1:47:35.320 not some form of medical issue. 1:47:37.040 --> 1:47:40.040 No, this is not a medical This is not pee. 1:47:40.120 --> 1:47:44.439 This is a a fear stemming from a traumatic event. 1:47:46.240 --> 1:47:48.360 I mean, I'm not so much in fear anymore. I'm 1:47:48.400 --> 1:47:52.120 just lazy. I don't feel like aving. But for a 1:47:52.160 --> 1:47:55.440 long time this was a fear stemming from a traumatic experience. 1:47:56.360 --> 1:47:59.880 I sit down when I pee all the time because 1:47:59.920 --> 1:48:03.880 I also am lazy. And if you're telling me, I 1:48:03.880 --> 1:48:07.520 get to sit for like two minutes instead. 1:48:07.280 --> 1:48:08.120 Of stinking, yeah, I don't. 1:48:08.280 --> 1:48:11.639 I don't get why there's there's so much It seems 1:48:11.720 --> 1:48:15.520 like it seems like there is so much like stigma 1:48:15.600 --> 1:48:18.320 against the men sitting down to pee, and I think 1:48:18.360 --> 1:48:21.200 we need to get rid of that. Would you agree 1:48:21.240 --> 1:48:21.400 with me? 1:48:21.400 --> 1:48:23.680 While fully agree with you, I think sitting down and 1:48:23.720 --> 1:48:26.519 peeing is the optimal strategy. You get to sit down, 1:48:27.479 --> 1:48:30.559 which is great, uh, and you get to go on 1:48:30.600 --> 1:48:37.439 your phone. And also almost every time I pee, well, 1:48:37.479 --> 1:48:39.639 if I ever have a boner, I'll I'll always sit 1:48:39.680 --> 1:48:42.320 down when I pee because you know, if you yeah, 1:48:44.880 --> 1:48:46.880 you know, splash. But even when I don't have a boner, 1:48:46.880 --> 1:48:51.000 I find myself getting splash and everywhere and I always 1:48:51.000 --> 1:48:53.479 almost every time I stand up and when I pee, 1:48:53.479 --> 1:48:55.200 I I'll pee a little bit on the on the 1:48:55.320 --> 1:48:56.840 rim and then I'll have to go get a little 1:48:56.840 --> 1:48:58.719 piece of toilet paper and then clean. 1:48:58.840 --> 1:49:00.840 Yeah, this is another reason. 1:49:02.160 --> 1:49:03.920 Time is not like, hey, how come this guy peete 1:49:03.920 --> 1:49:06.719 all over the toilet seat? So I could skip that step, 1:49:06.760 --> 1:49:09.120 I would just sit down. Yeah, I like a man. 1:49:09.800 --> 1:49:11.720 I hate it when I'm at work because you'll see 1:49:11.800 --> 1:49:13.760 because whenever I work, I also see pee on the 1:49:13.760 --> 1:49:15.920 toilet sometimes and it really like, man, I just want 1:49:15.920 --> 1:49:18.599 to sit down. You know, got to grab the toilet paper, 1:49:18.600 --> 1:49:20.439 grab the little like seat cover, because I want to 1:49:20.479 --> 1:49:23.360 sit in someone's piss. And especially for me, I work. 1:49:23.439 --> 1:49:25.240 I work a twelve hour shift, and you think I 1:49:25.280 --> 1:49:27.479 want to stand up for that whenever I pee. No, 1:49:27.560 --> 1:49:28.720 I want to get a chance to. 1:49:28.800 --> 1:49:33.519 Rest exactly, take your breaks when you can get your breaks. 1:49:33.600 --> 1:49:35.519 And then another thing with the workplace, yeah that is 1:49:35.560 --> 1:49:39.880 that is that if you're in a small office and 1:49:39.960 --> 1:49:42.120 you leave a little bit of pee on the toilet seat, 1:49:44.720 --> 1:49:47.800 someone might know that that's you, and then you're the 1:49:47.800 --> 1:49:49.960 guys on the toilet seat. 1:49:50.479 --> 1:49:52.160 Good thing, I don't work at all off. 1:49:53.760 --> 1:49:54.519 By just sitting down. 1:49:55.680 --> 1:50:00.320 Yeah, yeah, I mean I think, yeah, that was. I 1:50:00.360 --> 1:50:02.880 also have another funny story of when I was younger. 1:50:02.880 --> 1:50:04.760 It's very short. I just crashed a golf cart when 1:50:04.800 --> 1:50:05.400 I was really young. 1:50:06.040 --> 1:50:06.840 I sure, can you tell? 1:50:09.840 --> 1:50:12.080 Oh, yes, very quickly. I just like hopped in a 1:50:12.120 --> 1:50:14.839 golf cart crashed it into a tree while my parents 1:50:14.840 --> 1:50:16.680 and stuff were fishing. I threw the keys in the 1:50:16.720 --> 1:50:18.400 water because to hide the evidence. 1:50:19.760 --> 1:50:21.280 That was six seconds. That was pretty good. 1:50:23.280 --> 1:50:26.639 Yeah, well, I appreciate talking a while. It's been, it's 1:50:26.680 --> 1:50:30.280 been in I hope you enjoyed my traumatic story. Oh 1:50:30.320 --> 1:50:31.920 were you were you gonna cut me off? Or no? 1:50:32.040 --> 1:50:35.280 I don't know, Oh no, Jack, this was this was Jack. 1:50:35.360 --> 1:50:37.560 I get the sense that you're like wondering whether or 1:50:37.600 --> 1:50:40.519 not you're like doing an okay job at being on 1:50:40.520 --> 1:50:42.000 the phone right now, And I just want you to 1:50:42.040 --> 1:50:44.599 let you know that it's perfectly fine. 1:50:46.920 --> 1:50:49.960 Well, I appreciate that. I actually don't. I mean, I'm 1:50:49.960 --> 1:50:51.760 not that stressed out right now, believe it or not. 1:50:51.800 --> 1:50:54.240 I because I'm kind of like you when I don't 1:50:54.400 --> 1:50:56.120 like if I don't have like that view because I 1:50:56.160 --> 1:50:57.919 know you talk it because I've listened to your podcast 1:50:57.920 --> 1:51:00.960 a lot. Recently. That was why I called. I mean, 1:51:01.000 --> 1:51:04.040 I've known about you for like a few months now, 1:51:04.080 --> 1:51:06.599 but i've I've just more recently beginning into your work, 1:51:06.600 --> 1:51:07.720 and that's why i wanted to call in. 1:51:09.240 --> 1:51:15.200 God damn, thank you, Jack. I'm glad that you've I 1:51:15.240 --> 1:51:18.160 appreciate all the kind words, and thank you for sharing 1:51:18.160 --> 1:51:20.920 your traumas with us, so that you know, all of 1:51:20.960 --> 1:51:23.480 the six year olds that are listening to this podcast 1:51:23.680 --> 1:51:28.280 can be forewarned of the dangers of peeing while standing up. 1:51:29.920 --> 1:51:33.400 Yeah, it's a. It's a it's scary when you're young, 1:51:33.760 --> 1:51:34.360 it's scary. 1:51:35.640 --> 1:51:43.000 Talk to you soon, Jack. Oh hie, I'm getting kind 1:51:43.000 --> 1:51:43.519 of hungry. 1:51:46.160 --> 1:51:49.720 What are you crazy. 1:51:50.840 --> 1:51:53.680 I don't know. I've been eating a lot of been 1:51:53.720 --> 1:51:56.200 eating a lot of Asian food lately. Like I had 1:51:56.200 --> 1:52:01.000 sushi for the first time, like two weeks ago, Like no, yeah, 1:52:01.000 --> 1:52:03.840 like probably two weeks ago. So I've been eating a 1:52:03.880 --> 1:52:10.680 lot of sushi, ramen, Korean barbecue, Chinese food. I had 1:52:10.760 --> 1:52:14.120 oudan for the first time. I don't know if it's 1:52:14.160 --> 1:52:17.240 the first time, but I haddon that was pretty good. 1:52:18.000 --> 1:52:20.920 I could eat pizza. There's so many different kinds of food. 1:52:21.280 --> 1:52:23.040 I think you should door dash yourself something. 1:52:24.320 --> 1:52:26.040 Really, what should I DoorDash myself? 1:52:27.920 --> 1:52:30.240 The first thing you thought of, said Asian food. 1:52:31.320 --> 1:52:39.519 Yeah, you know, it's enough about me, Diamond Tina. It 1:52:39.560 --> 1:52:42.040 says here, you've been in a bunch of car accidents. 1:52:42.320 --> 1:52:45.599 One time, even you crashed into your sister on purpose. 1:52:46.400 --> 1:52:49.839 Tell me about that, Okay. 1:52:49.960 --> 1:52:54.120 So I was on like a probation with like the 1:52:55.120 --> 1:52:59.800 like drivers Bicing like department, like because when you get 1:52:59.840 --> 1:53:02.439 in to like car accidents, or you get speeding tickets 1:53:02.479 --> 1:53:05.200 and stuff like that, and Utah, you get points and 1:53:05.240 --> 1:53:06.920 if you get too many points, you can get your 1:53:06.920 --> 1:53:13.040 license taken away. And so I had gotten oh I wish, 1:53:13.520 --> 1:53:16.200 but I had gotten into a car accident. I had 1:53:16.280 --> 1:53:19.200 hit the back of someone's car, and I got I 1:53:19.200 --> 1:53:21.040 don't remember how many points you get till you get 1:53:21.040 --> 1:53:24.280 your license taken away, but I was like one point away. 1:53:25.000 --> 1:53:28.760 And then I had got a speeding ticket, and so 1:53:29.520 --> 1:53:32.320 I had went way over the points, and I was 1:53:32.360 --> 1:53:35.080 put on probation instead of getting my license taken away, 1:53:35.720 --> 1:53:38.120 and with that, I had to like not get any 1:53:38.120 --> 1:53:39.320 tickets for the whole year. 1:53:40.040 --> 1:53:43.080 And I was like three or four days. 1:53:42.880 --> 1:53:46.920 Away from getting off probation, and my sister had got 1:53:46.960 --> 1:53:49.760 pulled over and she was on the run, so she 1:53:49.960 --> 1:53:54.639 used my name and got a speeding ticket on my name. 1:53:55.760 --> 1:53:59.479 And my mom called me and she's like, hey, Matty, 1:53:59.640 --> 1:54:03.559 just us your name and you got a ticket and 1:54:03.600 --> 1:54:06.280 everything like that. And I was really angry. So I 1:54:06.320 --> 1:54:09.519 went to my mom's house because that's where my sister lived, 1:54:09.560 --> 1:54:11.439 and she wasn't there because my mom told her I 1:54:11.479 --> 1:54:14.479 was all my way, So I just went and trash 1:54:14.479 --> 1:54:16.559 her room because I was mad. And I was leaving 1:54:16.680 --> 1:54:18.759 and I saw she was like hiding on the corner, 1:54:19.520 --> 1:54:22.960 and so I pulled up to her car and I said, hey, bitch, 1:54:23.439 --> 1:54:25.519 and then she ended up driving off, so I was 1:54:25.560 --> 1:54:28.760 just chasing her around, and she ended up driving back 1:54:28.800 --> 1:54:31.599 to my mom's house, and at that point, I felt 1:54:31.640 --> 1:54:34.360 like the only way to kind of get back at 1:54:34.400 --> 1:54:36.960 her was to hit her car, So she stopped in 1:54:37.000 --> 1:54:39.120 front of my mom's house and I ended up just 1:54:39.240 --> 1:54:42.840 hitting the back of her car, and I just remember 1:54:42.880 --> 1:54:45.880 hearing my mom's screams, what are you doing and freaking 1:54:45.880 --> 1:54:48.000 out and everything like that, and I just felt so 1:54:48.240 --> 1:54:49.600 validated in that moment. 1:54:51.840 --> 1:54:59.880 So the revenge served its purpose in making you feel yeah, 1:55:00.040 --> 1:55:00.840 at yourself. 1:55:02.800 --> 1:55:05.000 Kind of just I feel like maybe about the situation 1:55:05.120 --> 1:55:08.920 because I feel like my sister would always get into trouble, 1:55:08.920 --> 1:55:12.240 but like it's crazy things, but always getting away with it. 1:55:12.840 --> 1:55:13.120 Yeah. 1:55:13.200 --> 1:55:19.440 And and she portrayed your name, which then got you 1:55:19.480 --> 1:55:19.920 in trouble. 1:55:21.600 --> 1:55:22.680 Yeah. 1:55:22.720 --> 1:55:24.760 And when I went to the police station to tell 1:55:24.800 --> 1:55:28.200 them like this was the wrong person, they were like, well, 1:55:28.200 --> 1:55:30.120 you need to bring her in so that we can 1:55:30.160 --> 1:55:33.520 make a report and everything like that. And so. 1:55:34.760 --> 1:55:35.720 How long ago is this? 1:55:37.920 --> 1:55:39.280 Oh, it was like last year. 1:55:39.840 --> 1:55:42.320 Okay, And what is your relationship like with your sister? Now? 1:55:44.560 --> 1:55:48.680 It's better, She's not like doing crazy hooligan stuff anymore. 1:55:49.520 --> 1:55:54.840 M I'm glad to hear that it's better. And you 1:55:54.880 --> 1:55:57.400 had gotten a lot of points on your license. You 1:55:57.440 --> 1:56:00.240 were telling me what what was it again that you 1:56:00.240 --> 1:56:03.440 said these points were from? 1:56:03.640 --> 1:56:06.680 So like, if you my first points I got was 1:56:06.760 --> 1:56:10.680 I accidentally crashed into the back of someone's car, and 1:56:10.720 --> 1:56:12.520 I think I got like forty nine points for that, 1:56:12.640 --> 1:56:15.280 and I think you at fifty you'll get your license 1:56:15.320 --> 1:56:18.480 taken away. So when I got my speeding ticket a 1:56:18.520 --> 1:56:21.760 little like a few months later or like five months later, 1:56:23.000 --> 1:56:24.240 that's when I was putting on probation. 1:56:25.400 --> 1:56:27.280 What do you think it is that compels you to 1:56:28.240 --> 1:56:29.440 drive so recklessly? 1:56:33.240 --> 1:56:36.560 I don't know. I even one time was driving home 1:56:36.560 --> 1:56:40.320 from work and I was driving really fast and like 1:56:40.560 --> 1:56:42.440 on these roads it was kind of like farm land, 1:56:42.520 --> 1:56:45.360 so like the roads were like super lonely in there, 1:56:45.440 --> 1:56:48.320 dotted so you can pass people on them, and I 1:56:48.440 --> 1:56:51.000 was passing my coworker and ended up like flying off 1:56:51.040 --> 1:56:56.480 the side of the road and totaled my car. 1:56:58.520 --> 1:57:02.880 I it's kind of sounds like the points system is 1:57:03.240 --> 1:57:04.600 working as it is intended to. 1:57:07.000 --> 1:57:09.920 Oh, definitely, but it's been a long time since I've 1:57:09.960 --> 1:57:11.240 crashed a car. 1:57:12.280 --> 1:57:15.160 Okay, so the points? Is there way to get points 1:57:16.040 --> 1:57:18.120 removed or are points permanent? 1:57:19.880 --> 1:57:22.240 No, you can get them removed, so like after a year, 1:57:22.600 --> 1:57:25.920 I think like half of them come off and then 1:57:25.960 --> 1:57:29.520 you can take like like a safety class kind of 1:57:29.760 --> 1:57:31.040 and then get the rest taken off. 1:57:31.920 --> 1:57:34.320 Okay, and are you working towards getting the rest of 1:57:34.360 --> 1:57:35.560 your points removed? 1:57:37.400 --> 1:57:40.000 I think I have already all came off, because that 1:57:40.160 --> 1:57:42.520 was like over two years ago and I haven't done 1:57:42.520 --> 1:57:44.720 any I'm not pulled over anything since then. 1:57:47.120 --> 1:57:49.480 It says that you're only twenty one years old. 1:57:51.240 --> 1:57:55.000 I'm twenty two. My birthday live on the seventeenth. 1:57:55.920 --> 1:58:01.440 So how long have you been driving for? Since you 1:58:01.440 --> 1:58:03.640 were sixteen? Okay, so you've had a solid five years 1:58:03.680 --> 1:58:10.520 to rack up a cute amount of points. Yeah, and okay, 1:58:10.560 --> 1:58:12.760 moving forward. So all right, there's a lot of elements 1:58:12.800 --> 1:58:21.280 here that that I'm kind of interested in hearing about. 1:58:21.360 --> 1:58:23.960 There's the relationship with your sister, which you are telling 1:58:24.000 --> 1:58:29.360 me has been mended. There's your reckless driving habits. Have 1:58:29.480 --> 1:58:37.000 you made active effort to start driving less recklessly after 1:58:37.120 --> 1:58:38.360 all these I feel like. 1:58:40.200 --> 1:58:44.040 I feel like I wasn't intentionally trying to drive recklessly, 1:58:45.920 --> 1:58:50.320 but I feel like I don't steeve as much anymore. 1:58:50.920 --> 1:58:53.040 I still do, just not excessively. 1:58:54.000 --> 1:59:04.560 Okay, that's good. It's good. And your viewpoint on revenge, 1:59:06.960 --> 1:59:10.440 the fact that the revenge that you tell of in 1:59:10.480 --> 1:59:15.200 the story made you feel good, do you think that 1:59:15.240 --> 1:59:18.240 in the future you will continue to seek vengeance as 1:59:18.240 --> 1:59:21.520 heavily as you did in that one instance. 1:59:25.000 --> 1:59:28.640 Definitely, not, just because there was just a lot more 1:59:29.000 --> 1:59:31.360 to that, Like a lot of more things that happened 1:59:31.400 --> 1:59:34.880 that cause that revenge, Like my sister has even like 1:59:35.160 --> 1:59:38.040 burned caught, like the middle school we went to she 1:59:38.160 --> 1:59:42.120 caught it on fire. She's were on high speed chases, 1:59:42.520 --> 1:59:47.040 She's been with like stolen cars, and she just always 1:59:47.040 --> 1:59:49.040 seems to get away with those things. And my mom 1:59:49.080 --> 1:59:52.280 would never punish her either, So I feel like in 1:59:52.320 --> 1:59:54.560 my way, that was kind of me punishing her. 1:59:57.240 --> 2:00:03.800 So it was a bit of vigilante Jessic, Yes, for everybody. 2:00:04.600 --> 2:00:07.680 And your sister, you say, burnt down a. 2:00:07.680 --> 2:00:12.160 Middle school, not like burnt it down, but there was 2:00:12.160 --> 2:00:15.480 like they called it, like the science hall, and she 2:00:15.720 --> 2:00:19.360 was like lighting the toilet paper on fire for some reason, 2:00:19.400 --> 2:00:21.760 and it just like caught the other role on fire, 2:00:21.840 --> 2:00:24.640 and then just the whole bathroom caught on fire. 2:00:26.320 --> 2:00:31.760 And what is it that is really, at the end 2:00:31.800 --> 2:00:39.440 of the day fueling your desire to enact this vigilante justice? 2:00:41.360 --> 2:00:44.520 Is it? And you say, you say it's for the 2:00:44.560 --> 2:00:49.880 good of everyone? So is this necessarily Does this have 2:00:49.920 --> 2:00:53.480 to do with some belief that you have in law 2:00:53.520 --> 2:00:57.360 and order? Does this have to do with, you know, 2:00:57.840 --> 2:01:02.480 I don't know, jealousy of your sister's ability to continually 2:01:02.480 --> 2:01:05.839 evade punishment. Does it have to do with a dislike 2:01:05.920 --> 2:01:11.640 of your sister? What is the driving force behind your 2:01:11.680 --> 2:01:18.960 desire to restore balance, as it seems you feel as 2:01:18.960 --> 2:01:19.640 though you were doing. 2:01:22.640 --> 2:01:24.760 I think I just wanted her to stop doing all 2:01:24.800 --> 2:01:32.320 that crazy stuff and just not like be a headache 2:01:32.360 --> 2:01:36.680 for everybody, because like at that part, my mom wasn't 2:01:36.800 --> 2:01:39.560 really involved in our lives too much, so like I 2:01:39.560 --> 2:01:42.640 would have to take her to core and take time 2:01:43.160 --> 2:01:46.280 to take her. I'll tell these programs she had to do, 2:01:46.360 --> 2:01:48.520 so it was just like a pain that I didn't 2:01:48.560 --> 2:01:50.880 feel like doing anymore. I just wanted her to pull 2:01:50.880 --> 2:01:51.520 her head out. 2:01:51.360 --> 2:01:52.320 Of her ass. 2:01:54.520 --> 2:01:59.480 Have you had an extended conversation with your sister aside 2:01:59.520 --> 2:02:02.880 from just hitting her car, about your desire for her 2:02:03.000 --> 2:02:05.000 to pull her head out of her ass. 2:02:07.400 --> 2:02:10.080 Yeah, And that's why I'm saying now like our relationships school, 2:02:10.080 --> 2:02:13.160 because she finally did that, she started going to school 2:02:13.200 --> 2:02:18.400 and everything. So, yeah, she finally pulled her head out 2:02:18.440 --> 2:02:20.000 of her ass. But I don't think it's anything I've 2:02:20.000 --> 2:02:22.880 said to her or even me crashing into her car. 2:02:23.800 --> 2:02:25.840 Well, I'm glad to hear that. Is there anything else 2:02:25.840 --> 2:02:28.880 that you want to say before we go with Tina? 2:02:30.160 --> 2:02:32.040 Well, I just want to say my own name is Dominique. 2:02:32.080 --> 2:02:34.280 I just said diamon Tina because the last time I 2:02:34.280 --> 2:02:36.920 got in as a screener, I didn't get through, so 2:02:37.320 --> 2:02:42.040 I just wanted to have a grabbing name. But I 2:02:42.080 --> 2:02:44.960 also just wanted to say that I love your stream. 2:02:45.120 --> 2:02:49.440 I've been listening since like November or something. I saw 2:02:49.440 --> 2:02:52.600 you on TikTok but and I figured that you would 2:02:52.600 --> 2:02:56.040 have a podcast on Spotify or something, so that work, 2:02:56.080 --> 2:02:58.600 and I checked you out and I've been listening since then. 2:02:58.640 --> 2:03:01.360 I'm almost all the way caught up. I've started with 2:03:01.400 --> 2:03:04.360 the old episodes and then worked my way up. But 2:03:05.280 --> 2:03:07.720 I love your stream. Me and my boyfriend watched all 2:03:07.760 --> 2:03:09.840 the time, and I just wanted to say thanks for 2:03:10.120 --> 2:03:13.320 taking up the phone and talking to me and for 2:03:13.840 --> 2:03:14.560 doing what you do. 2:03:15.560 --> 2:03:18.880 Thank you very much, Dominique. I do really appreciate that, 2:03:19.040 --> 2:03:21.800 and thank you for sharing your story with us. 2:03:23.800 --> 2:03:26.000 Have a good one, GEG you as well. 2:03:27.680 --> 2:03:27.920 Bye. 2:03:30.440 --> 2:03:33.880 Never weekend goes on the line taking your phone calls 2:03:34.000 --> 2:03:34.560 every night. 2:03:34.960 --> 2:03:36.840 Every week goes to unside. 2:03:37.080 --> 2:03:39.080 Was teaching you CUD in the middle of your life. 2:03:39.440 --> 2:03:41.640 Body's not really an expert.