Speaker 1: I Suck at Dating with Denungler and Jared Haven and
Speaker 1: I heard Radio Podcast. Welcome to this week's episode of
Speaker 1: Help I Suck at Dating. And for the listeners out
Speaker 1: there that loved our episode with Tasha and Brooks, we
Speaker 1: brought them back because they were so fantastic. But not
Speaker 1: only are they back this time, well, I can't speak
Speaker 1: for Brooks here, but Tasia has had a couple of
Speaker 1: glasses of wine. Okay, I mean I've had a couple
Speaker 1: of glasses of one. Myself, we have a lots is drunk.
Speaker 1: I haven't had any glasses of wine. I'm basically here
Speaker 1: to keep this episode on the rails. Yeah, Brooks keeps
Speaker 1: us rounded, you know. But unless we wanted to spice
Speaker 1: up the show a back right, I never would have
Speaker 1: used the words that Amy just used. But here we are.
Speaker 1: Apparently we're drunk. So for this week's episode, we've got Tassia,
Speaker 1: We've got Brooks and myself Tory of course, as always
Speaker 1: reading the questions for us. We're gonna start off with
Speaker 1: some as we kind of had a couple of weeks
Speaker 1: ago with the just listener questions about what's going on
Speaker 1: with dating? And I feel like now that tastes a
Speaker 1: little bit looser, a little bit more fluid, a little
Speaker 1: bit more willing to just go for the gold. She
Speaker 1: might give us a better advice. Yes, of course. Okay,
Speaker 1: and Brooks to the stage. The y stage of all
Speaker 1: is Brooks, and he's going to be here to help
Speaker 1: answer some of these questions as well. We're gonna start
Speaker 1: off with some, um, some listener questions and we're gonna
Speaker 1: move into a little bit more Uh how can I
Speaker 1: say this, Uh, provocative, raunchier questions. I don't nothing bad.
Speaker 1: We don't have to drop him personal experience, but just
Speaker 1: like things that our listeners have asked that are a
Speaker 1: little bit more X rated, if you will, I feel
Speaker 1: like my voice is a little deeper at night. I'm
Speaker 1: going to say listening to these sounds pretty good. So actually,
Speaker 1: while our friends not too long ago, we're recording a
Speaker 1: couple of their podcasts. They host Playing Around on I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio. They also host How Men Think. Brooks is
Speaker 1: one of the co hosts on that one, and uh,
Speaker 1: they were recording those. We were asking each other questions
Speaker 1: in the opposite room through this card game. It was fun.
Speaker 1: It was a little deeper than I expected. It to be,
Speaker 1: but some of the questions they were interesting. So we're
Speaker 1: gonna kind of play the same card game. Actually, in
Speaker 1: all honesty, like I wish there was a microphone in
Speaker 1: that room because some of the things Tastia said, Man,
Speaker 1: it was weird. There's a lot to me that you
Speaker 1: all don't know. It's called table topics original And like
Speaker 1: I said, some of these questions, man, they're weird and
Speaker 1: they're they're like, it doesn't help you get to know
Speaker 1: anyone better. Some of them are like, what's your favorite
Speaker 1: virgin DAKRII from your favorite bar in town? It's like, well,
Speaker 1: who cares? But we I got a couple picked out
Speaker 1: that I kind of enjoy and I think, actually this
Speaker 1: first one that I have for Tassia and Brooks, because
Speaker 1: I don't really know Brooks that well. But you're answering
Speaker 1: them too, by the way, you're a no, no, no,
Speaker 1: of course, absolutely, but uh, Tasia, this one is directed
Speaker 1: at you. But I'm actually more interested in in Brooks's
Speaker 1: response because I just don't know him as well. The
Speaker 1: question is what do you most admire about your parents?
Speaker 1: I think perseverance. I think my parents they've met each
Speaker 1: other in high school, and they have gone through a
Speaker 1: lot of hard times, but they're still together. And I
Speaker 1: can't say that about a lot of other relationships that
Speaker 1: I've witnessed. Um, and I know that their struggles, so
Speaker 1: the fact that they're still together, it's it's a huge accomplishment.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I would echo that for mine. My parents
Speaker 1: have celebrated their forty wedding anniversary this summer, and I
Speaker 1: think that's just so cool when I look at mom
Speaker 1: and dad, like, I just think of them as a unit,
Speaker 1: their mom and dad, and um, that's as a as
Speaker 1: a child, that's so cool that whenever I see them,
Speaker 1: I get to see both of them, whereas a lot
Speaker 1: of people will only get to see their father or
Speaker 1: their mother their parents are divorced. Uh, that would be
Speaker 1: probably the thing. And then also, um, I had one
Speaker 1: other thought, what was it? Um? Oh, something I heard
Speaker 1: a long time ago that really resonated with me about
Speaker 1: relationships is you have people that have complementary skills with
Speaker 1: similar values. Is how long term relationships last. And you
Speaker 1: can have different things, but complementary skills with similar values.
Speaker 1: So my mom is really good at this, my dad
Speaker 1: is really good at this, but they have the value
Speaker 1: of family and love and home life and stuff. So
Speaker 1: I agree with that my mom is much My mom
Speaker 1: was supposed to be a nun. Yeah, my mom went
Speaker 1: to high school with nuns as teachers, and she wanted
Speaker 1: to be a nun. And then she came to the
Speaker 1: States and she met my dad, and my dad corrupted
Speaker 1: her in a good way. But no, my parents have
Speaker 1: been together for thirty two years. So yeah, I often wonder.
Speaker 1: Actually we talked about this a little bit on the
Speaker 1: podcast before if why my like cynicism towards mayor Ridge
Speaker 1: comes from the fact that, like I look at you too,
Speaker 1: right Brooks, I don't know that your parents are still
Speaker 1: married happily to this day, and Tasia, obviously your your
Speaker 1: parents are still going strong too. It's like, I wonder
Speaker 1: if that instills it must like instills values and both
Speaker 1: of you to like want to uh like that moving
Speaker 1: forward in your own relationship. Yeah, for me, it does,
Speaker 1: for sure. It's it instills hope. It gives you you
Speaker 1: literally see in front of your eyes a marriage and
Speaker 1: to a partnership and people committing to each other, like
Speaker 1: it has to affect you, uh. And I can't speak
Speaker 1: on the other side on divorce. But because I haven't
Speaker 1: had parents obviously that have been divorced. But that has
Speaker 1: to have an effect on your psyche and your approach
Speaker 1: to a relationship, even at a like a minor subconscious
Speaker 1: level or something. Um, there has to be something that's
Speaker 1: that's affects kids, depending on your age when that happens,
Speaker 1: especially if it's a kid at a developmental age ten, twelve,
Speaker 1: I mean fourteen, I mean every age is development Let
Speaker 1: me ask you this hypothetical or not. Let's say you
Speaker 1: meet a partner that has maybe experienced trauma in some
Speaker 1: sort in their life. Uh, and they don't have necessarily
Speaker 1: the same familial background that you've experienced yourself. Is that
Speaker 1: a red flag for you? Or is that the thing
Speaker 1: that you're able to like consider and work through. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my wife's parents were divorced, so yeah, do you know
Speaker 1: if it was a mess you'vorce. I know the details
Speaker 1: of it, but I'm not going to divulge that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's very fair. Well me, I can tell you that
Speaker 1: my parents are happily married and I'm divorced, so I
Speaker 1: think that. Yeah, I felt a lot of pressure to
Speaker 1: make sure that my marriage worked. But also at the
Speaker 1: same time, Um, I made sure to do everything I
Speaker 1: needed to do in order to know that I did
Speaker 1: everything I could at the end of the day. So
Speaker 1: um yeah, it definitely was scary to tell my parents, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just not working out. And do you know, I
Speaker 1: think I was telling you this a little bit earlier.
Speaker 1: Before my divorce, I really wasn't open with my parents
Speaker 1: about like every single thing that was going on in
Speaker 1: my relationships slash me in general. But because of my divorce,
Speaker 1: I opened up a lot more, and like they are
Speaker 1: now my closest friends in a way, because there's still
Speaker 1: my parents and I really respect them. But um yeah,
Speaker 1: I think the fact that they are still married does
Speaker 1: kind of put like a pressure on you in a
Speaker 1: way because you want to make sure that that's the
Speaker 1: same for you right well. And part of the reasons
Speaker 1: that I even bring up the question is because, like
Speaker 1: I said, from someone from like me who, uh, my
Speaker 1: family kind of broke up when I was team my
Speaker 1: mom passed away, uh, and my parents have really liked
Speaker 1: each other when I was a kid anyway, So it
Speaker 1: was like growing up in a family that I didn't
Speaker 1: really want to be together, but that was together because
Speaker 1: they felt like they had an obligation to be which
Speaker 1: I admire that sense where it's like, yeah, we have
Speaker 1: an obligation to our child to raise him up in
Speaker 1: a family other than separate, right, Like that's that's an
Speaker 1: admirable thing. Um. And then seeing a lot of my friends,
Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe it's the water in Colorado, but
Speaker 1: a lot of people in Colorado seemed to get divorced,
Speaker 1: and a lot of my friends like they've gone, like
Speaker 1: they've had like split times between their parents, They've had
Speaker 1: to decide between where do they have to spend Christmas,
Speaker 1: and like their their husbands are trying to like uh,
Speaker 1: extract as much as they can from the wives and
Speaker 1: vice versa, like all these things. And so I think
Speaker 1: that for whatever reason, I'm like a magnet to like
Speaker 1: these bad aspects and attributes of marriages. And I think
Speaker 1: that's part of the reason why I'm so for whatever reason,
Speaker 1: anti like marriage as an institution, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I don't really don't think you're anti marriage. Why do
Speaker 1: you say that? Because they think deep down you really
Speaker 1: want it, And I think deep down you would love
Speaker 1: to have a family and a stable relationship, but you're
Speaker 1: scared and I don't want to get to But I'm
Speaker 1: just saying, like I know that there are experiences that
Speaker 1: can like kind of hinder those things. But I really
Speaker 1: think deep down, like you a family, and you want
Speaker 1: something solid, you want a foundation, you want something to
Speaker 1: build on. My big experience about having a lot of
Speaker 1: stuff is it's like, let's say established a family, right,
Speaker 1: Let's say I've got a wonderful wife, I've got three
Speaker 1: great kids. One day I wake up and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't want this anymore when I travel, So what
Speaker 1: do you do from there? Dean? That means you make
Speaker 1: a conscious decision to like, you know what you tell
Speaker 1: your wife, Hey, I need to break for a second.
Speaker 1: I'm going to go travel to you seventy for three days.
Speaker 1: I just need a little bit of time for myself.
Speaker 1: It has nothing to do with you. It has everything
Speaker 1: to do with me. But like I love you, and like,
Speaker 1: let me just go do my thing. And she will
Speaker 1: support that if you are honest and open, you talk
Speaker 1: about it, and you do you and you come back
Speaker 1: and you're just like cool. But the fact that like,
Speaker 1: if you need that outlet, then that should be a
Speaker 1: thing that's established in your marriage. Marriage is like it's
Speaker 1: a swing dance. It's like a thing. It's you compromise.
Speaker 1: It doesn't need to be this picture that everyone thinks
Speaker 1: it needs to be, like an to be perfect. Everything
Speaker 1: every day is like this, that, this that, like hell no,
Speaker 1: excuse my language, it's the one, but um no, it's
Speaker 1: a compromise. Like, you need to figure out what works
Speaker 1: for you. You You need to figure out what works for
Speaker 1: your wife. Like what if your wife likes to do
Speaker 1: like girls day every two weeks? You know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 1: you need to figure out what works best for you. Guys,
Speaker 1: I will say the relationships that I see, uh now
Speaker 1: that I am an adult, it's weird to say that,
Speaker 1: but I am an adult right twenty years old. The
Speaker 1: relationships that I see among my peers, you know, the
Speaker 1: friends that I've made throughout life that seeing the most successful,
Speaker 1: in my opinion, are the ones that allow themselves to
Speaker 1: have space from each other, the ones that allow themselves
Speaker 1: to have friendships with other people. And like, I'm going
Speaker 1: to go have a girl's weekend over here. Okay, well
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to the guy's house for the football game. Um,
Speaker 1: and that's something that I don't think we give enough
Speaker 1: credit to and something that you don't really see. I
Speaker 1: think even in our our our parental relationships, where it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, you've kind of gotten to this point where
Speaker 1: you just see your your mom and your dad as
Speaker 1: a cohesive unit, but you don't necessarily see the work
Speaker 1: that they put it on on the back end of it,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I think that's one thing
Speaker 1: that I've realized from my divorce. Actually, if there's one
Speaker 1: thing I've grown from is the fact that, like I
Speaker 1: know that each person needs their own time. I think
Speaker 1: at a young age, you always want to be around
Speaker 1: your significant other, you know what I mean. And I
Speaker 1: feel like that's one thing that I learned. You know, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you guys are crushing it. Um, You're still an individual, Like,
Speaker 1: you're still your own person. You're going to grow and
Speaker 1: challenge and change in your own way, So you need
Speaker 1: your space to do that, um, and a partner should
Speaker 1: support that, they should want that for you. And I
Speaker 1: think it's I also think that one person can't give
Speaker 1: you everything in the world, right, Like you have to
Speaker 1: have different friendships, you have to have different energies, you
Speaker 1: have to be around different people. One person is not
Speaker 1: going to be your be all everything, your love or
Speaker 1: your confidence you're housing to your best friend. You're like,
Speaker 1: they're not going to be everything. You still need other
Speaker 1: parts of the world. Doesn't mean they aren't your world,
Speaker 1: but you still need other parts of the world. I
Speaker 1: love that. I agree, and I think, like you said,
Speaker 1: it doesn't take just one person to give you that.
Speaker 1: All right, one more question before we move on to
Speaker 1: the next segment, which is going to get a little
Speaker 1: bit more spicy. Yeah, we're gonna get spicy. But before
Speaker 1: we do that, Uh, which is more important to you
Speaker 1: guys separately? Intelligence or common sense? So book smarts or
Speaker 1: street smarts, street smarts street smarts. I'm gonna say street
Speaker 1: smarts too, I think, but I hate being unanimous on
Speaker 1: that one. So why do you say street smarts both
Speaker 1: of you, guys? I mean it's I think it's I
Speaker 1: think it's just life intelligence. So intelligence, you could know
Speaker 1: a lot about one subject, you can know a lot
Speaker 1: about like computers or whatever. But can you be a
Speaker 1: good person? Are you kind to people? Can you be compassionate?
Speaker 1: Do you have any sort of life skills that are
Speaker 1: greater than this sort of like niche thing that you
Speaker 1: are involved in. So I appreciate, man, I appreciate intelligence.
Speaker 1: I have a huge appreciation for it. But um, if
Speaker 1: people had street smarts and life skills, I think the
Speaker 1: world would be a better place. I completely agree with that.
Speaker 1: I'm not marrying you because I don't know you have
Speaker 1: a degree. I'm marrying you because I don't know you
Speaker 1: know how to navigate through life. I will say one
Speaker 1: of my favorite things about Kalin is she is very
Speaker 1: book smart. But when she suspects that she might be
Speaker 1: wrong about something, her ability to grasp her her uh
Speaker 1: misinformation and then change her mind and like and figure
Speaker 1: something out really quickly, it's so impressive to me. And
Speaker 1: that's not that isn't that's not book smarts, right, that's
Speaker 1: like that street sense in my opinion. Uh And I
Speaker 1: didn't realize that until I just said that right now.
Speaker 1: But like, that's something I really admire about her, as
Speaker 1: her ability to kind of like figure something out on
Speaker 1: the on the on a whim like that. So I
Speaker 1: agree with you, guys, And I hate the fact that
Speaker 1: we all unitally agree that street smarts is more admirable,
Speaker 1: but I guess that's just how it is. All right,
Speaker 1: We're gonna take a quick break. But before we do that,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do anything. I don't know why
Speaker 1: I said that. We're going to take a quick break.
Speaker 1: We're gonna come back, but we're gonna have a little
Speaker 1: bit of wine, That's why you said it. And we're
Speaker 1: gonna have some tories, gonna ask some raunchy questions for us.
Speaker 1: I'm excited for this because you know what I'm can
Speaker 1: we not say raunchy? I'm and even saying the word
Speaker 1: raunchy is Yeah, it's like a lot of challenge. I
Speaker 1: feel like we're about to do like a burlesque show.
Speaker 1: And the funny thing is, it's like the three of
Speaker 1: us like as as good a friends as we've become
Speaker 1: to be. Like, we don't know the sexual history at all,
Speaker 1: And I'm not saying we're going to dive into sexual history,
Speaker 1: but like maybe we are. So stay tuned and see
Speaker 1: what happens next. All right, and we are back here
Speaker 1: with Brooks like and Tasia Adams, uh, and we're gonna
Speaker 1: answer some questions that Tori has prepared for us. It's
Speaker 1: gonna get a little weird. Uh, We're gonna get a
Speaker 1: little bit to take everyone as uncomfortable as no. But
Speaker 1: I'm going to s us off easy. Alright, ready, Okay,
Speaker 1: my boyfriend won't put me on any of his social
Speaker 1: media postings. Does this mean we are not a real couple? Interesting?
Speaker 1: Right off the battle. I'm going to tackle this one first,
Speaker 1: just because I feel like it's the most applicable for me.
Speaker 1: I think the guy's input is coming first. Yes, it's
Speaker 1: it's I'm going to bring myself back three years because
Speaker 1: that's really the only reason. That's the only way I
Speaker 1: can answer this question right, because it's like, I don't
Speaker 1: care anymore. I have a girlfriend whatever. Uh And coming
Speaker 1: off a television show, when you have a girlfriend, you're
Speaker 1: like fully invest in that relationship. But three years ago, Dean,
Speaker 1: before he ever had ever went on television to anyone,
Speaker 1: he was doing his best to conceal every relationship he
Speaker 1: had until he was dead set certain in the relationship
Speaker 1: that he wanted most. That's the one that he's gonna post.
Speaker 1: It's gonna take him a while to figure it out.
Speaker 1: It's not good for anyone, Like, it's not good for him,
Speaker 1: it's not good for the girls that are involved. The
Speaker 1: fact of the matter is it's like he's basically sizing
Speaker 1: up your relationship every night every time he posts. The
Speaker 1: next post might be a relationship post. But if it's not,
Speaker 1: it's because he's sizing up whether or not it's worth
Speaker 1: posting about, because he needs to figure out if he
Speaker 1: wants to continue on in the relationship or not. That's
Speaker 1: really what it is. If the relationships you mean the
Speaker 1: relationship post, that's like the relationship post is the new age,
Speaker 1: like will you be my girlfriend? The second you post
Speaker 1: a picture with your girlfriend, that's like you basically announcing
Speaker 1: to the world I have a girlfriend. So what do
Speaker 1: you guys think? I don't know. I think it's I
Speaker 1: think it could be either or. I mean, you're entitled
Speaker 1: to run your own feed however you want. You know
Speaker 1: that doesn't that should not play any sort of um,
Speaker 1: should not have any circumstance on your relationship because you
Speaker 1: do or don't post. That's the logical answer, But what's
Speaker 1: the reasonable answer, Because here's the thing. It's like, I
Speaker 1: know married couples. I know married couples that don't post
Speaker 1: about each other. They like you. It's also, you could
Speaker 1: run your Instagram as a business like people people. Actually
Speaker 1: that's a new job is having an Instagram can is
Speaker 1: your job? You can run that as a business. Now,
Speaker 1: a lot of people don't do business with their significant others. Like,
Speaker 1: if you own a business a brick and mortar sword,
Speaker 1: your wife doesn't have to work there. It's a modern
Speaker 1: business Instagram, you don't have to have your significant other honor.
Speaker 1: But let's say, like for most people that are listening
Speaker 1: to this that don't have a business Instagram, well, maybe
Speaker 1: it's just because I've been hanging around all the bats
Speaker 1: or folks. So you guys execute exceptionally and I'm trying
Speaker 1: to take some hands. You're right, it's always it's so
Speaker 1: it's always personal preference. I think that there are people
Speaker 1: that post way too soon. There are people that post
Speaker 1: away too late. If there was a spectrum, I would
Speaker 1: be more on the too late side. I remember specifically, um,
Speaker 1: it's too late. Though years ago I was I was
Speaker 1: exclusive with my girlfriend. We had been dating for so long,
Speaker 1: not so long, a couple of months, right, But I
Speaker 1: remember posting a photo of us like celebrating some victory
Speaker 1: or whatever it was, and I remember we I posted
Speaker 1: it while I was with her, and she got like
Speaker 1: so many from your friends like, well, I can't believe
Speaker 1: Dean posted a picture of you, guys, like, I'm so
Speaker 1: happy for you, Like, I'm so proud of you, know
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. I'm saying that that is it's
Speaker 1: a big tell in the relationship. It's like a big
Speaker 1: step that's might be a bigger step than it used
Speaker 1: to be. Of course, would you guys disagree? Brooks does, obviously,
Speaker 1: Tasha well as her phone lights up with a new
Speaker 1: Instagram notification. No, no, I feel like, um, okay, So,
Speaker 1: say you're not dating anyone. People typically are texting a
Speaker 1: couple of people, Is that right? So say you start
Speaker 1: you want to date with someone and you start liking them,
Speaker 1: but you're still like kind of texting other people. So
Speaker 1: posting that photo means that those people that you are
Speaker 1: texting is well aware of that, the fact that you
Speaker 1: are actually more serious about someone. So um, that's how
Speaker 1: I view that. Like, it's a pretty serious post in
Speaker 1: the sense of like, and I hate that posting a
Speaker 1: picture means so much. Okay, absolutely, that's like the purgatory
Speaker 1: into exclusivity in a sense exactly so, But honestly, I
Speaker 1: feel like people should just be able to post things
Speaker 1: and like people just like, here's my girlfriend on Monday,
Speaker 1: here's my girlfriend on a Saturday, here's my girlfriend on
Speaker 1: a Friday. I don't know, I disagree, but anyways, we're
Speaker 1: gonna be all ready for the next question. How many
Speaker 1: dates until you can sleep with someone? M tatious? Squirm
Speaker 1: it over? No, come on, I think I think the
Speaker 1: first date's fine. I don't see why not if you
Speaker 1: feel the vibe, if something's going if something's going well.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to sit back and say that I've
Speaker 1: never slept to someone on the first date, Like, obviously
Speaker 1: that happens. It's it's it's human nature. If something is
Speaker 1: going well, do you have you slept with more people
Speaker 1: on the first day then a second, a second or after.
Speaker 1: That's a really good question, Tor, And I'm actually kind
Speaker 1: of offended that you asked the producer Tori, I'm like, wow,
Speaker 1: producing her friends out of principle. I'm going to say no,
Speaker 1: I haven't, but allow me to reflect on a little
Speaker 1: bit more and I might have a different answer for you.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Oh man, I don't know. I was
Speaker 1: so bad at the dating game. I missed that whole train. Um.
Speaker 1: I think if you're I don't know, like as a guy,
Speaker 1: I didn't. I wasn't interested in that because I didn't
Speaker 1: want that to be how the relationship started. I wanted
Speaker 1: to go and enjoy an evening and and then like
Speaker 1: kind of step back from it, and I wanted you know, see,
Speaker 1: I think I'm I think I'm like an old school guy,
Speaker 1: like at heart somewhat Brooks, You're You're always the exception
Speaker 1: in the sense that just like Jared right, like Brooks
Speaker 1: and Jared, it are just like genuinely inherently amazing men.
Speaker 1: But you're in the exception. You're the exception. You're not
Speaker 1: the rule, you know what I mean? I actually think
Speaker 1: like I'm the exception because I have so little experience
Speaker 1: in dating. You're not the exception because I'm kind of
Speaker 1: there with you, buddy, What do you mean? No, Like,
Speaker 1: I've never slept on the first date. Come on, you're
Speaker 1: gonna say I'm the only person here that's slept with someone.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that you're in the wrong, and I'm
Speaker 1: not saying this anything wrong with it. However, I can
Speaker 1: count on one hand how many people I have slept with,
Speaker 1: So how many fingers do you have? Okay? But I'm
Speaker 1: just saying, like, no, I take that self really seriously.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, yet again, dina'sser size because you have
Speaker 1: been voted everybody to take a sip of their wine,
Speaker 1: we should do this like you grab your water, Brook.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm such the wrong person for this episode.
Speaker 1: What's your favorite way to be seduced? A horrible word?
Speaker 1: So what would you like to say? No, Tassia has
Speaker 1: an answers that's like, speak up now. Tassia crosses her arms,
Speaker 1: sits back and says, I'm not saying That means he
Speaker 1: definitely has something to say. There's something worth being sad
Speaker 1: that Tassa is not saying. It could be a foot rob,
Speaker 1: it could be a whisper in the air, it could
Speaker 1: be a kiss on the forehead. What makes you a
Speaker 1: little bit like oh no? Because that creeps me out
Speaker 1: because then people are going to know what I like.
Speaker 1: Don't give away. I get what you're saying. Here's the thing.
Speaker 1: If you're listening to this podcast and you're a potential
Speaker 1: contestant on Bachelor, stay tuned, because Tastia is about to
Speaker 1: let you in on what might make Tasa. Come on.
Speaker 1: You gotta tell us that's really, I'm I'm curious. As
Speaker 1: a friend and as a I will say something that
Speaker 1: gets me that I love. And it's very simple. It's
Speaker 1: just like when you're on a date when the man
Speaker 1: grabs your like waist, the lower around the waist, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna piggyback off of that. There is there is
Speaker 1: a what's the word I'm looking for? Like, there's you
Speaker 1: can go beyond grabbing the waist, right, And once you've
Speaker 1: established that, you can like like go under the shirt
Speaker 1: a little bit, not like not like go under the shirt,
Speaker 1: but like between the T shirt and the and the
Speaker 1: jeans there's like an inch gap and sometimes you can
Speaker 1: like slide a middle finger in there on the hip.
Speaker 1: And that might be the most intimate moment of any relationship.
Speaker 1: Is the second you make skin to skin, The second
Speaker 1: you skin to skin outside of wrists and above, that's
Speaker 1: when things can become a little bit more sexual than
Speaker 1: they might have been. Brus, what about you. I like ears. Actually,
Speaker 1: my ears are and I think I think in general
Speaker 1: ears are a very rogenous zone or they know. Sorry,
Speaker 1: So when you look at an ear or when not
Speaker 1: really looking at an ear, no, like you're on it
Speaker 1: you're on it. I think actually, your lobes are actually
Speaker 1: aren't they supposed to be like an orogynous stone? I
Speaker 1: don't know. I like when like my wife kisses my ear,
Speaker 1: is it orogynous like a rock formation or something like that?
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, that's that's that's erogenous. Can you cut
Speaker 1: that before before we move on to the next one.
Speaker 1: Tail definitely has something to say that she wanted to
Speaker 1: share with us. I do like it when people whisper
Speaker 1: in my ear. Yeah, that was very very but like
Speaker 1: it's playful. No, I like innocent leading and it's playful
Speaker 1: and it's so innocent. Why did you want to keep
Speaker 1: that from us? It's just like I don't want random
Speaker 1: people whispering my ear. Yes, I agree. If you're listening
Speaker 1: to this, do not whisper in tihes here unless there's
Speaker 1: a second day, or unless you get a middle finger
Speaker 1: between a T shirt and the gene gap and maybe
Speaker 1: a whisper in the air. This is weird. I've never
Speaker 1: heard of the middle finger before between the T shirt
Speaker 1: and all right, ready for the next Yes, do you
Speaker 1: prefer sex in the morning, afternoon or evening? Nice? That's
Speaker 1: a great question. Any actually, yeah, and it's just truthfully,
Speaker 1: I mean it used to be. It used to be
Speaker 1: evening mainly, but now, um, I'm not playing hockey, I'm retired.
Speaker 1: I can my day can be what I want it
Speaker 1: to be, so it doesn't have to be evening. I'm
Speaker 1: embarrassed because mine's the exact opposite. It's almost like not
Speaker 1: I got I've gotten to the point where, especially considering
Speaker 1: the fact that I have a broken leg and I
Speaker 1: can't do the things that I want to do, my
Speaker 1: motivation is kind of shot, which also means my my
Speaker 1: my sexual vigor of sorts. I guess you would say
Speaker 1: it's a little shot as well, and I'm a little
Speaker 1: embarrassed about it sometimes, but I'm willing to obviously talk
Speaker 1: about it and here, so when you say morning, afternoon,
Speaker 1: or night, I would say, honestly, none of them, because
Speaker 1: I've I am just I'm disgraced by myself sometimes, Okay,
Speaker 1: but it really is like at the same time, like
Speaker 1: you don't need to be well. It definitely hurts. It
Speaker 1: definitely hurts, right like that I've got a hip issue
Speaker 1: and thrusting would be inherently painful. But there you know,
Speaker 1: it's just it's it's not really it's a sensitive subject.
Speaker 1: It's just a season. I think it's just a season.
Speaker 1: It's like sometimes you'll go on like a workout kick
Speaker 1: or a health kick or whatever, like a meditation kick
Speaker 1: or whatever you're into. Like, I think there's many seasons
Speaker 1: of life. And I think that's no difference with with
Speaker 1: sex drive. Um, I've talked about on the podcast before.
Speaker 1: I don't want to bring it back to like a
Speaker 1: year ago. But Tasia, what do you have to say? No,
Speaker 1: you're right, I was gonna say something in I was
Speaker 1: gonna say, I do think that I border on the
Speaker 1: spectrum of asexuality. Like I'm not like Sue Puper motivated
Speaker 1: by sex. Like it doesn't like I don't have to
Speaker 1: be in a relationship for the fact of having sex
Speaker 1: with someone. Like the person of person connection, in my opinion,
Speaker 1: is more important to me than the physical connection. Well,
Speaker 1: I do think the physical connection is important, of course,
Speaker 1: in any situation. Uh, it's not like an inherent necessary necessary,
Speaker 1: uh implement of the relationship for me, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. And some people are the opposite. Some people
Speaker 1: are I have a friend who is like I have
Speaker 1: to have a boyfriend because I can't go more than
Speaker 1: two days without having sex. Some people are the exact opposite,
Speaker 1: But but then there are people like that like that
Speaker 1: that are because you're right. I feel like in a
Speaker 1: in us in um uh society that we live in now,
Speaker 1: like sex has become such a prevalent thing and everyone
Speaker 1: talks about it, everyone knows that everyone is doing it,
Speaker 1: but then you're also kind of like expected to be
Speaker 1: doing it all the time. And in a situation like mine,
Speaker 1: where I'm like, sex is great, don't get me wrong,
Speaker 1: Like I love sex. It's fantastic if you're doing it, fantastic.
Speaker 1: If you're not doing it, that's also great. But uh,
Speaker 1: I feel like sometimes relationships are judged by that, like
Speaker 1: it's it's like a barometer for how successful, how successful
Speaker 1: a relationship is, when in reality, like that's just like
Speaker 1: a small fraction of it. And like in the beginning,
Speaker 1: sty just sure it's like an important facet of a relationship.
Speaker 1: But as things move on and Brooks, I'm sure you
Speaker 1: can attest this because you've been in a relationship longer
Speaker 1: than any of us have been, It's like it doesn't
Speaker 1: become less of a relationship, but it becomes less of
Speaker 1: a priority or less of a necessary part of it. No,
Speaker 1: I think that part grows as the other part grow
Speaker 1: as well. Like you you can still, um learn about somebody,
Speaker 1: and I'm only six years in with my wife. Um,
Speaker 1: you still continue to learn about you. And also you
Speaker 1: change and you evolve in and your desires and cravings
Speaker 1: and her desires and cravings they change as well. You're
Speaker 1: not going to be the same sexual being that you
Speaker 1: are now the rest of your life, you know, and
Speaker 1: your partners not either. You're gonna have you know, things
Speaker 1: that change within you. And um, maybe you're more into atmosphere,
Speaker 1: maybe like music more, maybe like more sensual connection. Maybe
Speaker 1: like you're gonna and that that can be daily, weekly, monthly, yearly,
Speaker 1: Like you're going to go through different ebbs and flows.
Speaker 1: And that's what I've learned in my partnership is learning
Speaker 1: more about that. And I don't think it diminishes over time.
Speaker 1: I actually think you explore more and um, yeah, you
Speaker 1: reach a different level of connection with that person. Beautiful,
Speaker 1: I agree, But also I agree with that. I feel
Speaker 1: like there are things that I find um more stimulating
Speaker 1: the others, and but at the same time, I feel
Speaker 1: like there are times that I what are you looking
Speaker 1: at torres computer? Um? At the time, I feel like um. Sometimes,
Speaker 1: like when work gets really busy, you know, sometimes someone's
Speaker 1: really preoccupied in their mind or whatever, and like that
Speaker 1: part of a relationship kind of diminishes, but then at
Speaker 1: the same time, it kind of grows at different times.
Speaker 1: But I would say that I never answered the question
Speaker 1: afternoon time, right afternoon, delight, delight, morning afternoon. Interesting, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's the last one I would expected in your opinion.
Speaker 1: What does it mean to be good in bed? Great question? Actually,
Speaker 1: that's a great question. Good in bed for a guy?
Speaker 1: I think, Uh, Brooks obviously answer this question better than
Speaker 1: the rest of us because it's got a stallion up
Speaker 1: here morning, afternoon and nighttime. It doesn't matter to him.
Speaker 1: He's getting it all times. You know me very little.
Speaker 1: This guy just never gives it for me. Uh, someone
Speaker 1: that's very generous. I think is is probably the best
Speaker 1: thing for that. Right, Like, what was the question, I'll
Speaker 1: go on it. What does it mean to be good
Speaker 1: in bed? Right? Is that someone that's what does it
Speaker 1: mean to you to be good in bed? Oh? To me?
Speaker 1: As far as for the other person, get no, no no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna answer this. As far as not the other person,
Speaker 1: I don't care about the other person. I care about
Speaker 1: this is. This has gotten very weird. As far as
Speaker 1: the Help I Secredating podcast, I don't know what's going on. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let me put a thought out there. I think it's
Speaker 1: I think it's openness and willingness and communication. Yeah. It's like, like,
Speaker 1: here's the thing. You're thinking one thing, they might be
Speaker 1: thinking another thing. You have cravings, you have desires, you
Speaker 1: like they do too. And none of us are perfect
Speaker 1: at this. And I'm not going to read minds and um,
Speaker 1: you know, like there's there's trust is a great word
Speaker 1: for it. I think just an openness and a willingness
Speaker 1: and and I think you also need to speak when
Speaker 1: what you want. You know, don't don't expect your partner
Speaker 1: to fulfill your every need. They don't know what you're thinking.
Speaker 1: Communication is great, yeah, so be open to be honest,
Speaker 1: speak up for what you want. And I also heard
Speaker 1: a great line on a podcast the other day that
Speaker 1: um was amazing. It's just a beautiful line. It was
Speaker 1: nothing dirty can exist between two people in love, you know,
Speaker 1: so what you know? It was just like, um, you
Speaker 1: love the person explore with the person whatever you guys
Speaker 1: are into. I mean, there's many different ways to explore sexuality.
Speaker 1: It's weird, uh, to speak candidly, is there's it seems
Speaker 1: like there's a bit of taboo attached to the idea
Speaker 1: of communicating sexually with your partner, which which is which
Speaker 1: is insane because if you think of all of life, like,
Speaker 1: the most powerful, powerful thing in the world is sexual energy.
Speaker 1: It's the only reason we're here. You're here. You're here,
Speaker 1: You're here because there was enough sexual energy between two
Speaker 1: people to literally create a life. Yet it's the thing
Speaker 1: that's taboo that we don't talk about, that we don't explore.
Speaker 1: We know very little about it. And hands up, I'm
Speaker 1: one of these guys. And so this year I've started
Speaker 1: to learn more about intimacy, learn more about sex reality,
Speaker 1: Like what does it mean to be a sexual being?
Speaker 1: We know very little about it, yet it's such a
Speaker 1: powerful thing in the world. That's so true. I didn't
Speaker 1: even think about that. I meant, energy is a huge deal. Well.
Speaker 1: The weird thing for me for me to think about
Speaker 1: my like internalized it is. Uh. In my relationship, I'm
Speaker 1: super open, but I feel like there are still things
Speaker 1: sexually that we're like kind of closed off about, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So it's like, there are so
Speaker 1: many things that you can be open about, but at
Speaker 1: the end of day, it's like, are you being open?
Speaker 1: And that's kind of the weird thing to think about. Anyways,
Speaker 1: we have all more questions. Oh, I have two more
Speaker 1: actually two more questions. Okay, I've been drinking too much.
Speaker 1: One sorry? Oh have you ever had sex with someone
Speaker 1: that you did not know the name of? Next of
Speaker 1: cour you forgot their name? Next question? Can you guys all,
Speaker 1: let's go ahead and cut this part out. Can you
Speaker 1: go ahead and move on to the next question. Please,
Speaker 1: it's not for me. It's not for me, it's for
Speaker 1: the unnamed coat. Hold about for a friend? Ah? So
Speaker 1: what was that next question? What's next question? You've already said,
Speaker 1: Tasha Brooks want to answer this question? Or now you
Speaker 1: guys both wanted on to the next one. Right, let's
Speaker 1: move on the next one. Let's move on the next
Speaker 1: I'm here to ask the hard hitting questions. So what's
Speaker 1: the next question? Then? Where is the most spontaneous place
Speaker 1: you've ever had sex? Really? I think's got an answer
Speaker 1: to when you like next into top of mind. I
Speaker 1: don't have an answer the most spontaneous place, so I'm
Speaker 1: gonna just echo her answer. I don't have an answer.
Speaker 1: I mean I do, but my mike malfunctions check to
Speaker 1: to Okay, I'll start off with it. Then you guys,
Speaker 1: the most spontaneous place. That's I've ever yes, Okay, anyways,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say the words it's weird. Okay. Anyways, Um,
Speaker 1: I think when I was in college. I when I
Speaker 1: say I think obviously, I mean I know it happened
Speaker 1: in uh, in a public park, and it was a
Speaker 1: public park. Nightfall had come upon us. What are you
Speaker 1: doing at night in a park? Were having sex? People?
Speaker 1: My parents told me to stay away now you were
Speaker 1: young and in love. Okay, nothing could stop us, not
Speaker 1: even public uh what I don't even know, not even
Speaker 1: p D A lots, you know what I mean. Anyways,
Speaker 1: that's my uh, that's my answer. What's your guys? Come on,
Speaker 1: I promise your father is not gonna listen to this spot.
Speaker 1: It's dead. Your father is not gonna listen to this.
Speaker 1: Come on, my dad is definitely listening to zero sent chance. Hello,
Speaker 1: al Right, onto the next. Oh my gosh, sometimes you're
Speaker 1: a pie in being a co host of this podcast.
Speaker 1: It's pretty tricky when both your co hosts are proved.
Speaker 1: I got co host approval here, yes, Brooks, come on,
Speaker 1: I thought it was just guess can we correct that?
Speaker 1: What prudes or co hoo? Yeah, you know you're just
Speaker 1: a co host. I'm just to start divulging more information
Speaker 1: if you're gonna want to be considered co host, know,
Speaker 1: just as a guest, I don't need to divulge in
Speaker 1: as much as like a is definitely the co host anyway. Okay,
Speaker 1: the next one, we have one more question, yep, and
Speaker 1: then we'll get into emails. Okay, cool, Sorry your Michaels
Speaker 1: fell Okay, have you ever had a sex dream about
Speaker 1: a coworker, a teammate, a boss, coach, any of those?
Speaker 1: Have you ever had a sexual dream? I'll answer this one. No,
Speaker 1: come on, a co worker, a teammate. I'm on the
Speaker 1: team with three dudes. It's called a dream for a reason, Brookes,
Speaker 1: I have never had a sexual dream about a coworker, teammate, coach, boss,
Speaker 1: anything like that. There's female sports trainers out there, so
Speaker 1: but we never had one on our team. You had
Speaker 1: a female physical therapist. I have had a female physical therapist,
Speaker 1: but I've never had a sex dream about ta Um.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you guys are so boring sometimes. Have
Speaker 1: you ever had a sexual dream about a co worker,
Speaker 1: a boss, um, a Pierre Pierre us like the scenario
Speaker 1: of it? Yeah, yeah, that I didn't have to like
Speaker 1: like answer with more, No, we need more, Tasia, my
Speaker 1: story before you can while you think of yours. So
Speaker 1: when I first graduated college, I got a job at
Speaker 1: a recruiting agency in Denver, Colorado. And the thing about
Speaker 1: this recruiting agency is they hire only attractive men and
Speaker 1: women to become, you know, successful people at some point
Speaker 1: in their lives. Anyways, the the sales managers of my office,
Speaker 1: we're both very successful. They were both very beautiful. They're
Speaker 1: both very young. They were you know, late twenties, early thirties.
Speaker 1: And I'm working my butt off and I show up
Speaker 1: one day to work and my sales manager there's there's
Speaker 1: one man and one woman and they're both sales managers.
Speaker 1: And the female sales sales manager comes to me and
Speaker 1: she pulls me aside in the morning of of what
Speaker 1: we call the stand up, which is where we like
Speaker 1: run over all of our open requisitions and we run
Speaker 1: over like all of our open possibilities to like close
Speaker 1: deals and make money, et cetera. She pulls me like
Speaker 1: aside before we like jump into everything, and she goes, hey, Dean,
Speaker 1: last night, like I had a weird, uh sexual dream
Speaker 1: about you. And this woman is like, uh, like highly
Speaker 1: sought after woman, Like she's beautiful and she's very successful.
Speaker 1: Obviously she's a sales manager, but she's also like married, right,
Speaker 1: and so it's like it was it was obviously a
Speaker 1: dream and dreams don't mean anything in my opinion, but
Speaker 1: like the fact that she like, why would she say
Speaker 1: every every guy in the office had a crush on
Speaker 1: this girl because she was like beautiful, successful, smart, whatever, etcetera, etcetera.
Speaker 1: Beautiful pulled me aside and she goes and I was
Speaker 1: like two weeks into my job at this point, and
Speaker 1: she goes, Dean, I had a sex dream about you
Speaker 1: last night. And it was like the weirdest thing I
Speaker 1: think I've ever It was like I loved it. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. Yes,
Speaker 1: she was serious, I'm not gonna lie. I liked it
Speaker 1: like it made me feel very like validated for even
Speaker 1: being in the office. At that point, I like, I
Speaker 1: like walked around the rest of day with my chest
Speaker 1: puffed out. I was like, Oh, what's up? What's up? Mike?
Speaker 1: Do you hear what? Do you hear what she said
Speaker 1: about me? And oh, Jason, yeah, you hear what she
Speaker 1: said about me? I feel like with that mustache right now,
Speaker 1: that's perfect story, It's perfect. Yeah, did any did anything
Speaker 1: ever happen between you? And absolutely not? But but the
Speaker 1: idea that she, like, you know, had the the the
Speaker 1: impression that something possibly could happen, was like that was
Speaker 1: exciting to a twenty two year old who had just
Speaker 1: gone his first job out of college. Didn't think about
Speaker 1: contacting HR. Hown't think HR existed in the company, and
Speaker 1: even if it did, I don't think I like I
Speaker 1: was excited, Like I wasn't upset about it. Absolutely crazy
Speaker 1: that should come up to you and say that. It
Speaker 1: was more of like, hey, Dean, guess what ha ha
Speaker 1: ha ha Okay, But I was more of like, I
Speaker 1: have I have something like similar in that Vein my
Speaker 1: first pro camp, I was eighteen years old. I had
Speaker 1: just been drafted go to pro camp and we have
Speaker 1: to pass a physical before we can even get on
Speaker 1: the ice. And I go downstairs to see the doctor
Speaker 1: and walk into the doctor's office and um, this is
Speaker 1: attractive woman, and I'm like, okay, and so anyway, my first,
Speaker 1: my first, like big physical. I'm eighteen years old, right,
Speaker 1: And then she checks out a couple of joints whatever.
Speaker 1: She's like, okay, drop your drawers and I'm like what
Speaker 1: and she's like, I need to feel your testicles, like
Speaker 1: I need like they do a check, you know, the cough.
Speaker 1: Have you ever had that? Dean Like yeah. So so
Speaker 1: I'm like I'm like thinking, I'm like, what do I
Speaker 1: do here. I'm like, I'm I'm an eighteen year old kid.
Speaker 1: This woman is probably like forty years old, very attractive,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm terrified I'm going to get a boner,
Speaker 1: Like terrified because she's gonna put her hands right up
Speaker 1: there and I have to cough and this is gonna
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god. Um, and I like I
Speaker 1: think I closed my eyes close to my eyes so
Speaker 1: I wouldn't think about it and just drop my shorts.
Speaker 1: And then we did it, and it was like the
Speaker 1: most awkward thing about like, hey, listen, sometimes when someone
Speaker 1: is grabbing the things that they're not supposed to grad like,
Speaker 1: it invokes excitement. Yeah, hey, it's a natural thing, right,
Speaker 1: I agree. Before we we're gonna move on to one
Speaker 1: more thing. But before we do that, we're gonna take
Speaker 1: one quick break and we will be right back to
Speaker 1: it hot. Before we get back to it, Tasia is
Speaker 1: going to share her vivid sex streams about some man
Speaker 1: that she used to work with. I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: the only one. Can you stop listen. It's hard and
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do all that. I get it.
Speaker 1: I get it. Okay, Tori, we understand that we have
Speaker 1: an email from a listener that needs a little bit
Speaker 1: of help, So let's dive into that real quick. I
Speaker 1: just got into a long distance relationship. I met my
Speaker 1: boyfriend back in July and we have talked every day since.
Speaker 1: He's coming down for Valentine's Day. And I've never done
Speaker 1: this long distance thing and I'm still learning how to
Speaker 1: handle it. But I do need more affection through texting.
Speaker 1: My love language is words of affirmation, and I don't
Speaker 1: get that from him when we say goodbye after we
Speaker 1: see each other. We both get kind of emotional, and
Speaker 1: I keep saying it over and over, but when I
Speaker 1: say it to him over FaceTime or text, he never
Speaker 1: says it back. I feel like he doesn't get the
Speaker 1: clues I send. And when I I feel like he
Speaker 1: doesn't get the clues I send him when I want
Speaker 1: him to say something to me, how do I bring
Speaker 1: it back up to him without sounding too scary or needy?
Speaker 1: See the thing with this situation is I can't really
Speaker 1: contribute to this argument because words of affirmation is my
Speaker 1: absolute lowest words of affirmation. I can't give words affirmation
Speaker 1: like I'm absolutely horrible at it, So I don't want
Speaker 1: to see here and pretend like I'm good at it.
Speaker 1: Um So I think Tastia should answer this question. Wait,
Speaker 1: so you never give anyone words of affirmation. I'm the
Speaker 1: most sarcastic, so like biggest pieces. Take that as in like,
Speaker 1: but like the way that I show affection is like
Speaker 1: I'll like be around you and I'll I'll hug you,
Speaker 1: or like I'll bring you places or all get you
Speaker 1: presents like words of affirmation like me telling you that
Speaker 1: you are like my specials person, etcetera, etcetera. Like it's
Speaker 1: just like something about that. It's like give me like shivers. Okay,
Speaker 1: So what you're saying is you've never been in a
Speaker 1: long distance relationship. No, any wrong, Any long distance relationship
Speaker 1: has been the wrong distance relationship. Okay, what about you, Brooks.
Speaker 1: I have been in long I did long distance with
Speaker 1: my wife for three and a half years. I have
Speaker 1: I have a quick question for you, Dean. Do you
Speaker 1: not give words of affirmation? Because words of affirmation to
Speaker 1: you don't matter that much. It's it I haven't. I
Speaker 1: haven't gone to the bottom of why I don't. I'm
Speaker 1: sure you could relate it back to my childhood and
Speaker 1: like perhaps why I didn't get the things that I
Speaker 1: thought that I wanted. Um, I just like it makes
Speaker 1: me cringe, like when yes, I'm in a relationship now,
Speaker 1: and when things are said like oh like baby or
Speaker 1: like the L word, like those types of things that
Speaker 1: like it makes me like shutter a little bit because
Speaker 1: it's like don't I miss you, don't tell me like
Speaker 1: show me, like don't tell me like come here and
Speaker 1: embrace me, come here, and and you know like that
Speaker 1: type of stuff. Yeah, because quite often I think people
Speaker 1: I I until I learned about love languages and you
Speaker 1: learn what you what's important to your partner. You give
Speaker 1: love the way you want to receive love. So I
Speaker 1: was like an acts of service and quality time, So
Speaker 1: I would give love that way because that's what that's
Speaker 1: what I love the most, if somebody to do that
Speaker 1: for me, But my partner maybe doesn't want that, and so, um,
Speaker 1: you know that's maybe why. Maybe his love language and
Speaker 1: this question isn't words of affirmation, so he doesn't give
Speaker 1: it that much because it doesn't matter for him to
Speaker 1: receive it back, but maybe for her it does. I'm
Speaker 1: sure he could probably be better. I've done a long distance,
Speaker 1: a little note or a little anything like, um, I'm
Speaker 1: thinking about you, I miss you, little text, little videos
Speaker 1: your what are your love languages? My mine are quality time?
Speaker 1: Uh um ah, affection, physical touch, quality time, physical touch,
Speaker 1: um and then um access service and your significant other?
Speaker 1: Are they the same or are they different? No? Hers
Speaker 1: is I think quality time and gifts and physical touch.
Speaker 1: So then do you adapt to then getting her gifts
Speaker 1: and physical touch, etcetera. That's like that's you're you're adapting
Speaker 1: to giving her the things that she wants. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean that's the dance. I think what Tastitia was
Speaker 1: talking about earlier in the marriage is you learn that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff, You learn what's important to them because
Speaker 1: giving love the way that you want love isn't the
Speaker 1: way that your partner does, and that that can be
Speaker 1: misconstrued and they can they can actually feel unseen. You know,
Speaker 1: if somebody's giving you, Dean, if somebody's giving you just
Speaker 1: words of affirmation but not spending any time with you
Speaker 1: or not touching you like you're like, she doesn't. She
Speaker 1: doesn't love me, like I feel rejected. She just tells
Speaker 1: me she does, but she doesn't show it. I can
Speaker 1: feed words all day. There's that adult age, old adage.
Speaker 1: Don't treat your neighbor how you want to be treated,
Speaker 1: treat your neighbor how they want to be treating. I
Speaker 1: think this is awesome just because of your lifestyle that
Speaker 1: you kind of don't have many neighbors. What's your throwing
Speaker 1: You're throwing the most awesome neighbor, like he's Wilson from
Speaker 1: next Door on or Tim from Home Improvement. Will you guys,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us. From the next
Speaker 1: episode of Help, I suck as always, But Dean could
Speaker 1: say in his defense, everyone's his neighbor. As always, I'm
Speaker 1: det Unglers. Thank thank you to our co Hosts Brooks
Speaker 1: Like and Tasha Adams as always you guys, Wow, I
Speaker 1: just I don't even know where to begin with both
Speaker 1: of you. Be sure to check out Brooks podcasts How
Speaker 1: Men Think on I Heart Radio. Be sure to check
Speaker 1: out Tasha Adams. She will be our next bachelorette Bachelorrett.
Speaker 1: Be sure that's tune into our next episode of help
Speaker 1: by Suck At Dating, because maybe then we'll suck a
Speaker 1: little bit less. Follow help by Suck at Dating on
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast