Speaker 1: What's Up Tribe. I'm Erica and I'm Mila, and this
Speaker 1: is Good Mom's Bad Choices Podcast Beach season two.
Speaker 2: If you joined us for season one, you got three
Speaker 2: hundred uncensored episodes.
Speaker 1: But things are a little different in twenty twenty four.
Speaker 1: Not only are we having new guests, new segments, but
Speaker 1: we're going outside, y'all. We're getting out of our studio
Speaker 1: and podcasting in the wild, So make sure you check
Speaker 1: us out on YouTube to see where we're headed next.
Speaker 2: This podcast is for all the good moms, all the
Speaker 2: good dads, and even y'all hain't got no kids.
Speaker 1: Pull up. Join us in season.
Speaker 2: Two as we deep dive into even more uncensored topics
Speaker 2: like love, sex.
Speaker 1: Dating, and just look at this as the ultimate group chat.
Speaker 1: All the shit you're afraid to say out loud or
Speaker 1: even try, We say it and do it for you.
Speaker 2: Because nothing's off limits here.
Speaker 1: This is a judgment free zone to show up exactly
Speaker 1: as you are, and let's be honest, we've all made
Speaker 1: a few bad choices, so sit back, relax, and enjoy
Speaker 1: the ride. Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm
Speaker 1: Erica and I'm Mila. Happy Wednesday, Happy hump Day. How
Speaker 1: you doing. I'm good. We're back in the stew back
Speaker 1: in the studio today.
Speaker 2: We finally made it back to the studio. I didn't
Speaker 2: think we'd ever come back, but here we are.
Speaker 1: Have you guys been enjoying our Good Moms in the
Speaker 1: Wild episodes. We've been doing a lot of more episodes
Speaker 1: outside and it's a It's been a nice departure for us,
Speaker 1: I think, to get out of the space and kind
Speaker 1: of into our lives. Like really not just listening to
Speaker 1: us talk about our lives, but like, hey, this is
Speaker 1: what I do in the morning. I like to go
Speaker 1: for a hike and then go go botox.
Speaker 2: Totally very la of us, but yeah, it does feel
Speaker 2: like an invitation into our more personal lives and just
Speaker 2: into our worlds. Yeah, because we do live outside of
Speaker 2: this box. I know it's hard to believe, but sometimes
Speaker 2: we leave this place not often.
Speaker 1: I know, how are you feeling, How you doing good?
Speaker 1: I feel good? I am, you know, grounding.
Speaker 2: I think I'm just finally getting into twenty twenty four.
Speaker 2: Where before I was like resistant, I was still resting,
Speaker 2: but now I'm here. I'm here at the rest of
Speaker 2: the world. In twenty twenty four. Finally, I think I
Speaker 2: brought in the new year with the Chinese.
Speaker 1: I don't know how, but I do know how. This
Speaker 1: always happens. But if you're watching us on YouTube, you'll
Speaker 1: see that me and me and l are basically dressed
Speaker 1: exactly alike. This just continues to happen. I swear I
Speaker 1: can't make the shit up. Like this is a very
Speaker 1: specific look also that we see.
Speaker 2: This is a very specifically, very specific Usually we're like
Speaker 2: color coordinating, print coordinating, but today we just fold on
Speaker 2: what renaissance And apparently you both got the menue the
Speaker 2: fucking memo, because if you haven't joined us on I
Speaker 2: mean on YouTube yet, you need to come see us.
Speaker 2: We're always dressed to like, we're always look cute, we're
Speaker 2: always doing our makeup, and today is a very particular
Speaker 2: specific outfit that you must see.
Speaker 1: I know. I found this at a at a thrift
Speaker 1: shop in the valley, which actually this thrift shop specifically
Speaker 1: is my Like it's not a secret because it's very
Speaker 1: much Venture Boulevard, but I've been going there since I
Speaker 1: was like fifteen, because I went through a phase of
Speaker 1: thinking I was an Olsen twin and yeah, I know
Speaker 1: not like actually, like I didn't want to be them,
Speaker 1: I just wanted to be rich like them and dressed
Speaker 1: sort of like that. What was their look because I
Speaker 1: don't really it was like homeless vintage, you know.
Speaker 2: I went to the vintage stage too, but it definitely
Speaker 2: wasn't because of the fucking Kate and Ashley Olsen. Well,
Speaker 2: I didn't remember them having like any style. I just
Speaker 2: remember them looking a little dead.
Speaker 1: Oh. I went to a lot of parties with them
Speaker 1: because they were at Campbell Hall. Yeah, they went to
Speaker 1: Campbell Hall and they were at the neighboring private school.
Speaker 1: And then they would always be wearing They're like super vintagey.
Speaker 1: Even now, at least Mary Kate, she'll come always.
Speaker 2: I touch every time I see them. They look like
Speaker 2: a little dead, a little tired, like they smell a
Speaker 2: lot of.
Speaker 1: It's only it's Mary Kate. They always look like they
Speaker 1: look alike. They aways look at this, No, they don't
Speaker 1: look alike. They don't look like Mary Kate looks not well.
Speaker 1: Ashley was always the one that was healthier. It's true.
Speaker 1: Mary Kay went through a very heavy in erexic phase
Speaker 1: and was not doing well. It was doing lots of
Speaker 1: cocaine that it seems welcome to the married an old man. Yeah,
Speaker 1: are they still married? I think they might be, but
Speaker 1: who knows. I don't know. You might have died so
Speaker 1: dark anyway, well, anyway, that sore. Specifically, I went to
Speaker 1: you never said it, oh, because I don't want everyone
Speaker 1: to know about it when we go to mm hmm, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: anyone who lives in the valley probably knows. But but
Speaker 1: every now and then you find just like some gems,
Speaker 1: and I found this one and I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, they're gonna fit my boobs. And then it
Speaker 1: did and it didn't even like squish them. It actually
Speaker 1: like it's like made for them.
Speaker 2: Is that we actually decided this week. You'll be the
Speaker 2: first to know. You're the first on the streets to
Speaker 2: go breaking news that not only are we going to
Speaker 2: continue to coordinate telepathically for the rest of you know,
Speaker 2: our lives, but we're also decided that we are going
Speaker 2: to dress old timey at all public appearances that we
Speaker 2: do together, and that includes birthday parties. So hire us
Speaker 2: to Joel address the old timey internext birthday party bookings
Speaker 2: that good Mom's.
Speaker 1: But it's true. It's true. I feel like I'm stepping
Speaker 1: into my my real retro era. I feel like it
Speaker 1: suits me. I feel like my body was made for
Speaker 1: this era. Mine too.
Speaker 2: All this shit in the vintage story is usually super tiny.
Speaker 2: I don't know about these boobs, but we're gonna get
Speaker 2: them the memo. But this outfit is this is from Amazon.
Speaker 1: Oh that's a good one.
Speaker 2: This is a good Amazon find. So you know, as
Speaker 2: long as you're searching, you find they find the looks.
Speaker 2: This year, we're gonna focus more on our fashions. We
Speaker 2: didn't really we didn't really take you into our fashion world,
Speaker 2: you know, in the first six years.
Speaker 1: But this is the year because I know you're dying
Speaker 1: to know, Well, we have one. They have. We have
Speaker 1: a few more episodes left of this season, so we
Speaker 1: got to get the fashions in quick. My fashion is like.
Speaker 2: Martha Stewart, Betty Crocker meets Lola Bunny.
Speaker 1: What's the bunny? What's the bitch from uh with the
Speaker 1: red hair? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like Betty Crocker meets Jessica Rabbit. That says, this
Speaker 2: is where my My Wardshow night meets vintage. Kind of
Speaker 2: depends on what day you meet me, but that's pretty
Speaker 2: much it for like phrilly, floral, see through extreme sex,
Speaker 2: kitten sweater.
Speaker 1: Hmmm. I don't know what mine is. I mean mine
Speaker 1: is like pin up Girl Malficent, you know, a little.
Speaker 2: Dark it can it can also like it can also
Speaker 2: like venture to vampire.
Speaker 1: Little vampirey. I like, I got like a strong vampire.
Speaker 2: Look me too, like black lip occasionally darkness.
Speaker 1: Yeah, pretty much lace. I'm not really a frilly girl.
Speaker 1: I like like like long gloves. I mean I can
Speaker 1: wear gloves, but I do. I'm not into florals per se.
Speaker 1: I like florals. Hmmm.
Speaker 2: So how are you feeling about this season so far?
Speaker 1: I feel great. I feel really excited. What I like
Speaker 1: this season of your life? This season of like this season.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's about to end, but I know no one knows,
Speaker 2: but our lives still go on even when the season stops,
Speaker 2: and only the people on Patreon will know about that. Yeah, honestly,
Speaker 2: it's very stop secret and a lot of changes being made,
Speaker 2: So you might want to get over there and figure
Speaker 2: out what the fuck is going on because us of
Speaker 2: things are going on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like maybe on Patreon as where I'll
Speaker 1: talk more openly about my love life because I don't
Speaker 1: know if I'm ever gonna like expose my love life
Speaker 1: again on the internet because you've trauma. I feel like
Speaker 1: it's bad juju.
Speaker 2: I mean, I developed my entire relationship on the internet
Speaker 2: and it worked out just fine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, not developed my own relationship.
Speaker 2: My relationship was actually sourced on the internet, developed publicly
Speaker 2: and it worked out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's your story, it doesn't have to be mine.
Speaker 1: I think that. I don't know, why do you think
Speaker 1: it's bad juju? Just because anything can happen and things change.
Speaker 2: Oh oh, like like posting an again and then you
Speaker 2: have to be like never mind, not that I'm like,
Speaker 2: oh god, I looked really cute in this picture.
Speaker 1: Why the fuck do I need to unarchive it? Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like that's really one of my deep conflictions on breakups.
Speaker 1: It's like when you post an aga but then you
Speaker 1: look good in the picture, and it's like Instagram really
Speaker 1: needs to create some sort of feature where you can
Speaker 1: just like crop people out of pictures you don't want
Speaker 1: to actually take down, but there's a cropping feature. Do
Speaker 1: you have any pictures of this or you can actually
Speaker 1: can you delete carousel photos? I think no, I don't.
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't update my phone because I don't change.
Speaker 2: You can, you can, if you have a carousel, you
Speaker 2: can delete certain images.
Speaker 1: Wow, show me that the update that's been happening for
Speaker 1: a while, and I need to see this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have a strong stance that I don't delete pictures.
Speaker 1: Like, I'm very upset because my birthday picture. I can't.
Speaker 1: It's it's just I can't even have my birthday picture
Speaker 1: on my Instagram feed and you took it off. I
Speaker 1: archived it. Oh was it a group photo? It was
Speaker 1: a solo photo.
Speaker 2: Oh, he was in it, but I didn't remember you
Speaker 2: posting him.
Speaker 1: It was me in the bathroom him like you could
Speaker 1: barely see you see his mouth, and so you deleted it. Ye.
Speaker 2: The crazy part about us censoring our love lives or
Speaker 2: whatever our private lives behind Patreon is that, like, the
Speaker 2: niggas that really want to be obsessive are going to
Speaker 2: just pay the ten dollars.
Speaker 1: That's fine, but if you better, like, and I have questions,
Speaker 1: I have, like I need advice, and I don't need
Speaker 1: advice from all fucking fifty thousand of yall niggas, okay,
Speaker 1: And I need a cute little a few thousand in
Speaker 1: my Patreon's advice versus the Peanut Galleries advice. I mean, honest,
Speaker 1: some of y'all are gonna give me fucked up advice.
Speaker 2: Patreon is like, really my only safe space because my
Speaker 2: boyfriend is everywhere except Patreon.
Speaker 1: You don't think he's on Patreon. No, this boyfriend is not.
Speaker 2: He that's maybe the one place he's not on because
Speaker 2: he's literally over my shoulder right now as I record.
Speaker 1: But Patreon is I'm gonna.
Speaker 2: Start asking for advice on their dah.
Speaker 1: I can't even do it really in discord, because I
Speaker 1: feel like you can't do a discord, like I can't
Speaker 1: even complain anywhere except secretly in Erica's ear. I posted
Speaker 1: a picture of my butt on Patreon. You did, yeah,
Speaker 1: because it looked good and I was in Europe and
Speaker 1: I was just I felt sexy, and I was posting
Speaker 1: pictures of my my sexy pictures in the mirror. One
Speaker 1: of them was me turned around with my booty, and
Speaker 1: my ex must have joined Patreon, and then in a fight,
Speaker 1: he like pulled up the picture and I was like,
Speaker 1: how does this make me feel safe? If you're posting
Speaker 1: your ass on Patreon, and I was.
Speaker 2: Like, how does it make me feel safe that you're
Speaker 2: on there and I don't even know you're the First
Speaker 2: of all, it's called a paywall.
Speaker 1: Second of all, it's an ass. Did he try to say,
Speaker 1: You're like, now you're an only fan. There's worse things
Speaker 1: I could post. Now you're only fans, a bitch because
Speaker 1: you posted your buttet. But the thing about it was like, whatever,
Speaker 1: We're not gonna talk about this man anyway. This is
Speaker 1: a this is why this is on Patreon. This is
Speaker 1: a supreme gas lighter. Literally, you know, I had this concept.
Speaker 2: I had this idea in my mind come up lately,
Speaker 2: and I forgot to tell people because nobody asked me
Speaker 2: until right now.
Speaker 1: Okay, what it's about gas lighters?
Speaker 2: And it's about men specifically, because someone asked me a
Speaker 2: question about a guy that had like all this sexual
Speaker 2: like chemistry with Oh, this is our homegirl. Somebody from
Speaker 2: a tribe hit me up about Tantra asking you about
Speaker 2: a guy that she was having energetic orgasms with, like
Speaker 2: not even like having but just like coming from the
Speaker 2: energetic leg and.
Speaker 1: I was like, I had that before recently.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and there's difference and it happens. I just think
Speaker 2: that women need to be clear because the right type
Speaker 2: of gas lighting nig not the right type no for
Speaker 2: real is super super well versed in women and in manipulation.
Speaker 2: And most men know from an early age, probably from
Speaker 2: like sixteen, that women are.
Speaker 1: Easily moved by dick.
Speaker 2: And you have to be careful because there's men who
Speaker 2: will really hone in on their sexual power just so
Speaker 2: they can manipulate you, and it will feel like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, he's so sexy, it's so passionate. It is
Speaker 2: so much chemistry, but really it's top notch practice and
Speaker 2: fucking you over by fucking you. And some guys just
Speaker 2: do it dumbly. They don't even know, like they know
Speaker 2: they're doing it, but they don't real they haven't really
Speaker 2: mastered it. But you have to really be careful of
Speaker 2: the masterful master seducers.
Speaker 1: You're right, there's people that really use that energy and
Speaker 1: they really know how to manipulate it and hone it
Speaker 1: and really harness it to the best of their ability
Speaker 1: so that you will be mind fucked and fucked up
Speaker 1: out here. And then suddenly it's five years later and
Speaker 1: you're still dealing with this nigga, and he's drained the
Speaker 1: fuck out of you. Your overweight, you have dark.
Speaker 2: Circles, and now he's making you feel bad about it.
Speaker 1: And you have four different businesses under your name that
Speaker 1: he started, and now your credit's fucked up.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I mean, people just you just have to
Speaker 2: be careful of people who study the passion of things
Speaker 2: and take advantage of your vulnerability solely for the purpose
Speaker 2: of fucking you over.
Speaker 1: And I feel like that is a thing.
Speaker 2: So you don't mistake chemistry for gas lighting ass, fake ass,
Speaker 2: manipulative as niggas.
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, this was Yeah, yes, this is what happened.
Speaker 1: Mine went to dom school instead of going to therapy.
Speaker 2: That should have been a red flag when you ask
Speaker 2: the nigga, please go to therapy and instead he goes
Speaker 2: to the school of doming. That's how you should know
Speaker 2: red flag. This is not even talking.
Speaker 1: So to answer your question, this season of my life
Speaker 1: doing great, doing a lot better. I'm out of my
Speaker 1: fucking hypnotism. Oh god, you know, like ja'far with that stick,
Speaker 1: I'm the hypnotism. I feel really clear, I feel really healthy.
Speaker 1: I've been I've been on a like a cleansing fast
Speaker 1: preparing for just the year, and I always kind of
Speaker 1: do that in the beginning of January. And also I
Speaker 1: like to go into our retreats kind of feeling really
Speaker 1: good as clear as I can. So I'm excited to
Speaker 1: go out there and just really have mental space for
Speaker 1: all the energy and all the information that I'm surely
Speaker 1: going to receive while I'm there. I am, I'm in.
Speaker 1: I'm in a happy space too. I've been I'm not.
Speaker 1: I know, I'm not. I'm not going to go into
Speaker 1: the deep details of my personal life, but I am.
Speaker 1: I've been seeing somebody and that's been really cool and
Speaker 1: unexpected and really easy. And I think we talked about
Speaker 1: this with Christa about like our last episode, about like
Speaker 1: how relationship should be easy and how like like earlier,
Speaker 1: I mean, in the middle of last year, it was
Speaker 1: I was in a really hard space, feeling like I
Speaker 1: don't get to write my love story and that maybe
Speaker 1: mine just starts off hard and then it gets easier,
Speaker 1: and then I am now that I'm out of the hypnotism,
Speaker 1: I'm realizing no, no, no, So I don't know. I
Speaker 1: feel good. I feel like it's been great, but it's
Speaker 1: not the focal point of what I'm like, what's happening
Speaker 1: in my life, which is good also because I feel
Speaker 1: like I didn't. I feel like a lot of times
Speaker 1: as women, we leave a relationship, we meet a new man,
Speaker 1: and then we just kind of sweep over whatever it
Speaker 1: is that like was left over there and not really
Speaker 1: dealing with it. And so I think me not having sex,
Speaker 1: me you know, not always making myse self available to
Speaker 1: this person and him also not making himself available to
Speaker 1: me all the time has created like healthy boundaries so
Speaker 1: that we can still be proactive in our lives and
Speaker 1: clear about like what we want separately and then also together.
Speaker 2: So yeah, that's beautiful. I think everybody does that. Like
Speaker 2: you get in love and then you'd like melt into
Speaker 2: like the ten year old version of yourself and you
Speaker 2: just want to be around the person. And how I
Speaker 2: have to actively resist my accussion I'm crazy. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: actually crazy.
Speaker 1: And like scorpio energy together is and I keep attracting
Speaker 1: scorpios like I don't know what it is. I don't
Speaker 1: know what this lesson is in my life where I've
Speaker 1: been attracting male scorpios for the last like two and
Speaker 1: a half years over back to back maybe three years,
Speaker 1: back to back to back, and so that energy is
Speaker 1: really intense, and I think maybe that's like the lesson
Speaker 1: is like learning how to manage that intensity in a
Speaker 1: healthy way and like use it towards creativity, or use
Speaker 1: it towards good or use it towards like creating a
Speaker 1: healthy love space for your relationship instead of it just
Speaker 1: being seeped in sex obsession and longing and.
Speaker 2: Which we love, bitches love obsession and longing and sex.
Speaker 2: And then I think also we like we surrender to
Speaker 2: just like the love like shiny thing, like all the
Speaker 2: other things I was doing doesn't matter. This is what matters,
Speaker 2: and then we like forget and not forget. It's just
Speaker 2: like we revert into like this childlike puppy love version
Speaker 2: of ourselves, like schoolgirl. But I also think too, like
Speaker 2: just thinking about what you said is like the easiness.
Speaker 2: It's like you have to really be conscious of the
Speaker 2: things that you ask for and the things that are
Speaker 2: that you're manifesting, because I think that's where.
Speaker 1: We fuck up, right.
Speaker 2: You're like I want this, I want this, I want this,
Speaker 2: I want this, and then they come and they're like
Speaker 2: fifty percent of it and you're like, no, I gotta work.
Speaker 2: It's like, no, you have to trust what you ask for,
Speaker 2: and like, I think sometimes we forget that. It's like
Speaker 2: the manifesting is a lot of the work, but you
Speaker 2: kind of have to full up with the manifest you
Speaker 2: can't ask for all these things. And then when the
Speaker 2: first nigga rolls up thirty five percent, you're like, Yep,
Speaker 2: this is it.
Speaker 1: I know I wrote this other shit, but god, it's cool.
Speaker 1: I can't have it all.
Speaker 2: He'll get to it later, because I think a lot
Speaker 2: of us are like I can't have it all, Like
Speaker 2: I'm asking for too much and you're not, you know,
Speaker 2: and I'm just I'm realizing that, Like even right now
Speaker 2: in this season of my life, I feel very good,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm in.
Speaker 2: A very healthy place, and like I'm always thinking about
Speaker 2: what more I can have. You know, were always always
Speaker 2: like going like the next goal. I need more, I
Speaker 2: need more money, I need more of this, more travel
Speaker 2: in first class. But like I just feel really content
Speaker 2: and happy and like family like and family driven and
Speaker 2: solved in that space and that that feels really good
Speaker 2: because I ask for that, you know. So it's just
Speaker 2: like settling into the space of I deserve this shit.
Speaker 2: I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be in
Speaker 2: a safe space and in like a healthy relationship that
Speaker 2: doesn't require a lot of worry or a lot of stress,
Speaker 2: and like just changing my perspective about like really what
Speaker 2: I believe that I can have and what kind of
Speaker 2: life I can have and how that feels.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that is like the feeling of safety
Speaker 1: of like knowing that if you have an argument or
Speaker 1: disagreement with someone, it's not the end of your relationship.
Speaker 1: Is I feel like crucial in the relationship, in any relationship,
Speaker 1: but especially one where you're really trying to build a family.
Speaker 1: And like you and Orlando have have like you like
Speaker 1: and Luna loves Orlando and like has come to really
Speaker 1: I think accept him as this father figure in her life.
Speaker 1: And and you too, Like I know that's been like
Speaker 1: an adjustment period for you, kind of getting comfortable with
Speaker 1: that idea even though it's what you asked for. But
Speaker 1: like maybe, but when you ask for these things, you
Speaker 1: don't always think about the uncomfortability that you have to
Speaker 1: walk through in order to really get what you want,
Speaker 1: even when when it's arrived, like Okay, he's here. Okay,
Speaker 1: he wants to do it. Oh shit, don't tell my
Speaker 1: kid what the fuck to do? What the fuck do
Speaker 1: you mean? Tell her say please? You know, like all
Speaker 1: these things that you've asked for, and then you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: and this requires me to also do some work too,
Speaker 1: Because you want a strong mail figure in your in
Speaker 1: your household. He's also a good strong mail figure is
Speaker 1: also going to check you sometimes too, in your in
Speaker 1: your parenting. He's not just gonna let shit slide, you know.
Speaker 1: And and I know that that can be I mean,
Speaker 1: I can only imagine, especially when you finally do find
Speaker 1: someone that you really trusts how like that can be challenging,
Speaker 1: but also once you get to the other side of it,
Speaker 1: how beautiful it is.
Speaker 2: It definitely is challenging, just because like I really a
Speaker 2: lot of times you want to be like, you don't
Speaker 2: even have any kids.
Speaker 1: Oh don't tell me how to parent, you know.
Speaker 2: It's just like there's a there's a there does It
Speaker 2: requires a lot of checking myself and like really checking
Speaker 2: back into what it is I ask for and like
Speaker 2: what does that look like? And how can I be
Speaker 2: in this space in a healthy place. But I think something.
Speaker 2: I said this because I think sometimes we ask for
Speaker 2: shit not realizing that it definitely does require that you.
Speaker 1: You you can ask for shit and write it down, but
Speaker 1: you actually have to sit in it and think about
Speaker 1: how it feels.
Speaker 2: How does it feel if I, if I'm at the registered,
Speaker 2: I don't have to worry about running the card, Like
Speaker 2: what does that feel like? Because a lot of times
Speaker 2: we wrote the register, I'm like, oh shit, god damn it,
Speaker 2: But like, what does it really feel like, like embodying
Speaker 2: the feeling of like what it feels like to embody
Speaker 2: that living moment, you know, and like that attracts it.
Speaker 1: But I think sometimes you were writing down like.
Speaker 2: This this fairy tale love story not realizing that it
Speaker 2: requires work from you. Because yeah, when Orlando first showed up,
Speaker 2: like within like six months, he was like, oh my daughter,
Speaker 2: and I was like, ooh sh you gotta say that,
Speaker 2: like that seems that seems intense, you know, like pump
Speaker 2: your brakes before you start dropping mds, you know. But
Speaker 2: I think I had to check myself and like really
Speaker 2: kind of just be okay with someone who is okay
Speaker 2: with taking on the role as a stepfather and even
Speaker 2: just the things that I've had to release in that part,
Speaker 2: and it is like, why are you reprimanding my child
Speaker 2: and me? Who the fuck do you think you are?
Speaker 2: But it's taken me, like literally, quite literally, the an
Speaker 2: entire year plus to be comfortable in the fact that
Speaker 2: I'm with somebody and no matter how much you piss
Speaker 2: me off, I'm we're not leaving each other. And I
Speaker 2: think that is something that most people and most women
Speaker 2: don't have the safety to experience. And so I've found
Speaker 2: myself in the face of conflict wanting to be like
Speaker 2: wanting to want to be out because that's my general
Speaker 2: like I don't need you, but being like, damn, I
Speaker 2: do need you.
Speaker 1: And I want you, and.
Speaker 2: I have to be able to release and let go
Speaker 2: of conflict and things in order to move past it,
Speaker 2: because I'm human and I expect you to do the
Speaker 2: same thing, because literally, holding on too grudges with people
Speaker 2: that we love, friendships too literally doesn't serve us at all.
Speaker 2: It just brings you further away from your friends. And
Speaker 2: it's like the human part of it all because I
Speaker 2: think the happily ever after is so often sold to
Speaker 2: us on TV, but we have we so we're not
Speaker 2: really living it or experiencing it that it requires like
Speaker 2: this big, not this. It doesn't have to be big,
Speaker 2: but it does. It requires this this process of getting
Speaker 2: comfortable and accepting that it's good.
Speaker 1: Well, that's beautiful. I look forward to that experience myself.
Speaker 1: I feel like I've gotten like not, I don't think
Speaker 1: I've really even gotten that close to it. I've had,
Speaker 1: you know, guys that have come in and like, you know,
Speaker 1: it's so women are so basic. We see our like
Speaker 1: are a male single moms are basic in ways, right.
Speaker 1: We see a man that we're intimate with that we
Speaker 1: kind of like, and he's nice to our kids, and
Speaker 1: then we literally start imagining a whole fucking fairy tale life.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, look, Namy's so good. I cant to
Speaker 1: see him doing math homework with her. And then and
Speaker 1: then he's gonna be there. He's gonna catch our first
Speaker 1: baby and at the Purpose birthing center. Actually fuck that,
Speaker 1: We're gonna get birth and home and then he's perfect.
Speaker 1: He's in a teacher how to ride a bike, or
Speaker 1: Lando top my daughter. He's going to you know, and
Speaker 1: and I've totally fallen into that trap. I mean I
Speaker 1: do it all the time and still now we fantasize,
Speaker 1: but I don't. I've never come close to like really
Speaker 1: that that feeling of safety and family feeling with my child.
Speaker 1: So I want that. I really really want that for
Speaker 1: me and for her. So I'm calling that in and
Speaker 1: I think that the well, the work that I've done,
Speaker 1: and also just like the protection of my energy, my womb,
Speaker 1: is I fucking nobody until I know for sure that
Speaker 1: this person is going to be able to provide that
Speaker 1: type of safety for me and my daughter, and also
Speaker 1: my family too, because it's like a blending of more
Speaker 1: than just you and your daughter. It's like if you're
Speaker 1: really hopefully, if you're if you have the family dynamic,
Speaker 1: it's a blending of family well. And I don't take
Speaker 1: that lightly either. I think my mom has been waiting
Speaker 1: for that. She's like, when the fuck are you gonna
Speaker 1: bring the guy that like brings the families together. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know, Mom.
Speaker 2: We live in such a time where it's like do
Speaker 2: the people do that anymore?
Speaker 1: I do? I know, but I think I think we
Speaker 1: have been.
Speaker 2: We're so heavily exposed, and like we're so heavily exposed,
Speaker 2: and like right, now, for some reason, there's so much
Speaker 2: there's so much conversation and like emphasis on nigga's not
Speaker 2: wanting to settle down and polyamorous relationships. And I know
Speaker 2: we've preached a lot of open relationship rhetoric in the
Speaker 2: beginning of our careers as podcasters, but we're here to
Speaker 2: say we are married wife like women. Okay, not to
Speaker 2: say that poly people are not married. I'm just saying
Speaker 2: that I'm here to tell you, and I'm here to
Speaker 2: tell you, friend from a woman who was resistant as
Speaker 2: hell to safety even though I asked for it, that
Speaker 2: you do deserve it, and it is out there, and
Speaker 2: there is a man who's mature and emotionally evolved, who
Speaker 2: is fun and freaky and actually wants to step up
Speaker 2: and be a husband and be a father and be
Speaker 2: a father figure and is going to support and protect
Speaker 2: you and you know, provide for you in ways that
Speaker 2: you didn't even think of, and like build with you.
Speaker 2: Like you deserve that, and it's out there and waiting
Speaker 2: for you. And I'm so glad that you're in this
Speaker 2: chapter where you're seeing that for yourself and like separating
Speaker 2: and really detaching from niggas who are not ready, because
Speaker 2: it does require that you kind of look out the
Speaker 2: rear view and be like, I'm out, nigga to be
Speaker 2: onto the next and go over that mountaintop and really
Speaker 2: see the meadows and the valleys and the beautiful like
Speaker 2: paradise that awaits you. So I think like a lot
Speaker 2: of women are sold this bullshit that like no man's
Speaker 2: coming to save you and your kids, or nobody wants
Speaker 2: you because you have a kid. But I got news
Speaker 2: for you, Okay. The nigga is out there, okay, And
Speaker 2: he will rub your feet, and he will teach your
Speaker 2: kids how to ride a bike, and he will cook
Speaker 2: you dinner, and he will help, and he will show
Speaker 2: up for you in the way that you deserve and
Speaker 2: that you need and that you've been longing for, and
Speaker 2: the way you see the white ladies live happily ever
Speaker 2: after on TV, Like, you also deserve that, and you
Speaker 2: also can have that as long as you are committed
Speaker 2: to what it is that you know that you deserve
Speaker 2: and not bullshitting and fucking around on the fuck around
Speaker 2: with these fucking arounds.
Speaker 1: Are you pointing at me? No, no, no, no, are
Speaker 1: you pointing at me? Pointing at you? Bitch.
Speaker 2: So if you're wasting your time on a nigga who's
Speaker 2: not the stepdaddy type, stop scrolling on Instagram with the
Speaker 2: gender wars and let that nigga go and you know,
Speaker 2: move on to someone who's actually evolved and deserving of you. Immature.
Speaker 2: And with that said, today's affirmation. I know a lot
Speaker 2: of women, A lot of my female friends obsess and
Speaker 2: stress over not having relationships or the search of or
Speaker 2: they're not being enough men. And I just I realized,
Speaker 2: even for myself, I say I'm stressed all the time.
Speaker 2: And I saw a meme and it was like, I'm
Speaker 2: not stressed, I'm under divine pressure. I'm not sure I'm
Speaker 2: under divine pressure because I'm a bit who says I'm
Speaker 2: stressed a lot, like a lot, to the point where
Speaker 2: I've heard my daughter say it and I was like,
Speaker 2: oh god, yeah, so it's.
Speaker 1: Just like Kitty is stressed. It's stressing me out right now.
Speaker 1: One yeah, it's on the way to coming out. Let
Speaker 1: me tuger.
Speaker 2: But I'm not stressed. I'm under divine pressure because it's
Speaker 2: just a perspective shift. There's a lot of men you
Speaker 2: just haven't found yours, you know, and there's a lot
Speaker 2: of great men. You just have to be open defining
Speaker 2: yours and not wasting time on the bullshit.
Speaker 1: So we're not stressed. Even us we.
Speaker 2: Be under divine pressure because any pressure that we have
Speaker 2: is fine. It's so divine because we asked for it.
Speaker 2: And that's the thing is like, the divine pressure is
Speaker 2: sometimes the things that we didn't realize we asked for
Speaker 2: are here, but they're showing up with a little bit
Speaker 2: of pressure.
Speaker 1: And now you're like, ahh, but.
Speaker 2: Yes, bitch, even in relationships that you dream of, when
Speaker 2: you manifest, there will be divine pressure, you know, and
Speaker 2: and so like change your perspective so that when it comes,
Speaker 2: you're not overwhelming yourself in some bullshit and some delusion
Speaker 2: illusion that it's negative when actually it's exactly your Your
Speaker 2: dreams are coming true. And that's why it's a little
Speaker 2: bit of pressure.
Speaker 1: Bitch.
Speaker 2: You gotta make moves. But I have a surprise for you.
Speaker 3: You do.
Speaker 2: Yes, we've been talking about our love and about manifesting
Speaker 2: healthy love, and today we have a very special tarot time.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, is it star magic. We are going
Speaker 1: on a field.
Speaker 2: Tress that it was so valid field dress so I
Speaker 2: have a friend downstairs in a magic Star Magic school
Speaker 2: bus and she's here to do Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, we're doing Tarot Time outside of the studio. Yeah,
Speaker 1: slash in the studio. Yeah, okay, all right, well let's go.
Speaker 2: Welcome to Tarot Time, and today is a very special
Speaker 2: Tarot Time because we are joined by a very special guest.
Speaker 1: We are on Star Magic school Bus, which we're so
Speaker 1: grateful for, Ashley, your favorite traveling psychic who we happened
Speaker 1: to meet randomly in studio city. Shout out to all
Speaker 1: the Valley girls in the world who know where the
Speaker 1: fuck that is. It was one eleven actually on the day,
Speaker 1: and I was walking outside. We had just finished actually
Speaker 1: our last episode that you guys checked out. Take a hike, bitch, bitch,
Speaker 1: take a hike or take a hike, bitch, and I
Speaker 1: happened to see this amazing school bus parked outside and
Speaker 1: said Tarot. It said Reiki Apothecary. I was like, let
Speaker 1: me go in here and see what the fike is
Speaker 1: going on in here. And then I peeked in and
Speaker 1: there was this beautiful black woman sitting in here. If
Speaker 1: you were from the valley, you know you see the
Speaker 1: Black Girls, we like, hello, Hi, So I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna come back here. And after we ate, we
Speaker 1: came on the bus and we had an amazing reading
Speaker 1: by you. Thank you, and so you know, good moms
Speaker 1: like what we're good for. We'll come in and be
Speaker 1: like hey. So we were thinking can we shoot an
Speaker 1: episode on her, a little segment of Tarot time, And
Speaker 1: we're so grateful you said yes. And I'm just so
Speaker 1: happy to share what you do and this beautiful space
Speaker 1: that you've created with our audience.
Speaker 4: So thank you, thank you.
Speaker 5: I'm so excited to be here and for this session
Speaker 5: and for the opportunity to share, so thank you.
Speaker 1: Before we start, I just have just a few questions
Speaker 1: because we didn't even really get to ask you anything, right,
Speaker 1: How did you get into taro? Oh? Wow?
Speaker 5: So I've always been ever since I was a kid,
Speaker 5: I've always been obsessed with tarot, magic, astrology, everything that
Speaker 5: has to do with the metaphysical esoteric space. And I've
Speaker 5: always been intuitive, but I didn't necessarily trust my own
Speaker 5: intuition growing up, and it wasn't until I had oh gosh,
Speaker 5: I would say my first like serious dark knight of
Speaker 5: the Dark Night of the Soul Spiritual Awakening or conscious
Speaker 5: spiritual awakening, which was back in twenty eighteen, a little
Speaker 5: after my Staturn return. Actually it was incredible, like that
Speaker 5: first Mercury retrograde, I ran into eleven people from my
Speaker 5: past in a span of like two and a half weeks,
Speaker 5: and I got really freaked out and realized the universe
Speaker 5: was trying to send me a message. And so I
Speaker 5: guess that really sprung me into my spiritual path, where
Speaker 5: I found like a daily practice of grounding, meditation, journaling affirmations.
Speaker 5: And during that process, the meditation really opened me up
Speaker 5: to start receiving messages and downloads and visions, and I
Speaker 5: also developed an interest in herbalism and taro. But really
Speaker 5: I got sober that year, so instead of and it's
Speaker 5: funny because ironically, I'd purchased my first tarot deck the
Speaker 5: year prior, in twenty seventeen, so I messed around with it,
Speaker 5: put it away, and then twenty eighteen happened. All of
Speaker 5: that happened, and instead of going out for New Year's Eve,
Speaker 5: I decided to stay home and watch videos on YouTube
Speaker 5: about numerology, and that sort of spiraled into taro and
Speaker 5: I just ended up knowing the meanings of the cards,
Speaker 5: like without even setting the intention of working with them myself,
Speaker 5: and realized like.
Speaker 4: Oh, I need to do this.
Speaker 5: And so at first when I first started reading, I
Speaker 5: was just offering free readings with the purchase of intention
Speaker 5: candles that I make. And then people just became more
Speaker 5: interested in the taro than the candles, and the taro
Speaker 5: just kind of took off and here we are.
Speaker 1: Amazing, and then it made this beautiful bus.
Speaker 4: And then I made this beautiful bus.
Speaker 1: Wow, this is pretty big deal. This is a beautiful bus.
Speaker 1: Thank you? Are you like a DIY queen like interior designer?
Speaker 5: This is all DIY, no interior design background, no construction background,
Speaker 5: just a lot of basically YouTube university YouTube the.
Speaker 1: Shit out of this. The bus is busting. Okay.
Speaker 2: It is like a little enchanted garden on wheels.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that was my vision, and I didn't like, I
Speaker 5: didn't initially know that I was going to do a
Speaker 5: bus like it started out with just like I said,
Speaker 5: the candles.
Speaker 6: Then word of mouth.
Speaker 5: Eventually I ended up reading in shops like metaphysical shops
Speaker 5: all over LA. And my first shop experience was really
Speaker 5: traumatizing and that's what let me know. Oh, I need
Speaker 5: to create my own space. And being a Sage Moon,
Speaker 5: I was like, okay, I gotta be mobile.
Speaker 1: I don't Sage Moon. Yeah, this is beautiful.
Speaker 2: I'm with you know, I'm with the innovative girl boss
Speaker 2: independent ideas, and this is definitely.
Speaker 1: It, darling.
Speaker 2: So I'm very honored that you allowed us to come
Speaker 2: into your space for a little while for an afternoon,
Speaker 2: and Tarot is down.
Speaker 1: It's beautiful, it's raining, and it feels nice and cozy in.
Speaker 6: Here, and it feels kind of witchy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we weren't our witchy outfits because me and Eric
Speaker 2: I cannot help but to match every accident every week.
Speaker 1: Well, shall we get to it? I think? So it's
Speaker 1: Tarot time.
Speaker 6: Amazing. Okay, So who's going first?
Speaker 1: Jamila? Jamila? I volunteer you as tribute my dear got it?
Speaker 6: Do you have any specific questions or concerns?
Speaker 1: No concerns.
Speaker 2: I'm just you know, I know that people are nosy
Speaker 2: and ex give me.
Speaker 1: I want to love reading.
Speaker 2: Tell me about my relationship and where it's going and
Speaker 2: what I have in store, and you know, like and
Speaker 2: things like that.
Speaker 1: Just like just put it on, put it on me publicly.
Speaker 6: Okay, great, I love it.
Speaker 5: So first I'll ground our energy with this singing bowl.
Speaker 5: Feel free to close your eyes and take a deep breath.
Speaker 1: Mm.
Speaker 6: Okay, and Jamila, what's your last name?
Speaker 1: Map? M App Map?
Speaker 5: I'll say a quick prayer, Father, Mother, God, Spirit, Universe,
Speaker 5: my angels and guide's, the highest spiritual beings, Sudden, my unfusors,
Speaker 5: my higher self, and all divine entities who love me unconditionally.
Speaker 5: I call upon you for unconditional love, grace, compassion, healing, guidance, protection,
Speaker 5: assistant support. Was some clarity and insight. Now, thank you
Speaker 5: for blessing my work with to Row, and thank you
Speaker 5: for allowing me to connect with Jamila Mapps energy so
Speaker 5: that we receive clear, concise, accurate, one hundred psvent truthful,
Speaker 5: specific messages pertaining to Jamiala Mapps while being abundance, prosperity, love, joy, relationships, career,
Speaker 5: and any other messages you do Marthy. At this time,
Speaker 5: we open up to receive the healing in gidance Jamila
Speaker 5: Map needs most right now and unconditional love through divine
Speaker 5: grace of our own free will.
Speaker 3: So be it.
Speaker 5: Spirit Please tell us what does the future have in
Speaker 5: store for Jamila Maps love Live. What does the future
Speaker 5: have in store for Jamela Mapp regarding love? What does
Speaker 5: the future have in store for Jamala Mapp regarding love.
Speaker 1: More? I don't know.
Speaker 2: Suddenly feels way more intense because yeah, thousands of people
Speaker 2: are listening.
Speaker 1: I feel heavy.
Speaker 4: We'll see what comes up.
Speaker 5: Sexy cards, Yeah, I work with Pictaro Sexual Magic for
Speaker 5: love questions.
Speaker 6: I want a black love deck though.
Speaker 1: On me too, I'm like, do we need to make one?
Speaker 1: Because I've had to Angla.
Speaker 6: I've had this on my heart, like, make me a
Speaker 6: black love deck for years now.
Speaker 5: I just am so busy that I don't have the
Speaker 5: time to like or I haven't had the time.
Speaker 2: There are not enough tarot decks with like black and
Speaker 2: brown images. Shout out to Mahogany Taro that we always use.
Speaker 6: Yes, I love her deck because you have to feel
Speaker 6: like you.
Speaker 1: Can connect to it. Oh not not try that out
Speaker 1: a game one.
Speaker 6: That's interesting. Okay. Should I keep pulling or just leave
Speaker 6: it at six?
Speaker 1: Whichever you feel I'll pull three more, Okay.
Speaker 5: So I could be picking up on your energy or
Speaker 5: energy around you, So just take it as a resonance.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay.
Speaker 5: The overall energy is the aid of Wands. So the
Speaker 5: wands rule passion, fire, creativity, and action. The eight of
Speaker 5: Wands has to do with moving quickly, fast movement, travel fast,
Speaker 5: intense communication, even possibly digitally, and also just having like
Speaker 5: you know, an expanded reach with the aid of wands.
Speaker 5: So it feels like, as this is the overall energy,
Speaker 5: there's something in your relationship that is moving very quickly,
Speaker 5: lots of passion, so that's great, spicy, Okay. We have
Speaker 5: the Queen of sorry, excuse me, the King of Wands
Speaker 5: in reverse, the Night of Cops in reverse okay, and
Speaker 5: the Page of Cops in reverse. So the King of
Speaker 5: Wands is divine masculine energy when he's upright, this is
Speaker 5: someone who's a leader, who takes charge, who's passionate, very yeah, passionate, sexual,
Speaker 5: very attractive, very attractive.
Speaker 1: Don't suot Orlando's horn too much. Okay, looks, but it's reverse.
Speaker 5: So it's it's reverse. And then you have the Night
Speaker 5: of Cups in reverse and the Page of Cops in reverse.
Speaker 5: So this feels like someone that's actually not in your
Speaker 5: orbit right now. That's maybe it feels like it's someone
Speaker 5: from the past.
Speaker 2: Really, I just want to keep every preference everybody by
Speaker 2: knowing that not only am I doing a love reading
Speaker 2: in front of thousands of people, but my boyfriend is
Speaker 2: sitting here.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, this is really brave.
Speaker 5: It feels so with the King of Wants showing up
Speaker 5: in reverse, this is someone who is not taking action,
Speaker 5: and something about him actually feels really like and enraged.
Speaker 5: Someone who is upset, Okay, and they have a lot
Speaker 5: of suppressed emotions, and it's because they feel upset because
Speaker 5: they haven't maybe they feel like they missed out on
Speaker 5: their chance or they haven't, like and I want to
Speaker 5: cry too, They haven't. They didn't do what they could
Speaker 5: have done, or what they what they knew you wanted
Speaker 5: them to do, or what they knew what was best
Speaker 5: for you at the time that they had their chance.
Speaker 5: So it feels like someone who is holding holding on
Speaker 5: can't let go of the past. Honestly, especially with this
Speaker 5: four Pinnacles here, the King of Cops is in Sorry,
Speaker 5: excuse me, god, I keep miss speaking. Usually when I misspeak,
Speaker 5: there's something to it, But I'm gonna move on. The
Speaker 5: Night of Coups in reverse is also like an energy
Speaker 5: that just is insincere, insincere, not genuine. And then the
Speaker 5: cups will the heart space, love, compassion, emotion, joy, and intuition.
Speaker 5: So when the Night of Cops is upright, this is
Speaker 5: someone who's very heart led, heart centered, dreamy, romantic, secret
Speaker 5: admire type of energy. But it's in reverse, so it
Speaker 5: feels like someone who doesn't have or who didn't have
Speaker 5: the best intentions and also just isn't emotionally mature. And
Speaker 5: then with the Page of Cops in reverse, when it's upright,
Speaker 5: it's an offering a small gesture of love. It could
Speaker 5: be and I love you and I'm sorry and I
Speaker 5: forgive you, but it's in reverse. So it's like this person,
Speaker 5: it feels like they.
Speaker 6: Want to come forward to share, share their regrets, apologize.
Speaker 1: Beyond.
Speaker 5: I mean, it doesn't even feel like they want to
Speaker 5: be honest, but it's like all of these things.
Speaker 4: That that that they've felt.
Speaker 5: It feels like now they're becoming aware, aware of it,
Speaker 5: but they're not acting on it, and it has them
Speaker 5: very upset. And it feels like they're upset because they're.
Speaker 6: Seeing you.
Speaker 5: Move on with the eight of Ones as your overall energy.
Speaker 5: You have the seven of Ones, the Lovers and the
Speaker 5: Three of Pentacles. Okay, so the Seven of Ones is
Speaker 5: a very protective, defensive energy. It does feel like you're protected,
Speaker 5: it does feel like you are really especially with the
Speaker 5: Nine of Wanes here honoring your boundaries and being protective
Speaker 5: when it comes to this external energy that really doesn't
Speaker 5: have anything to offer, Like the lovers in the heart
Speaker 5: of your reading twin flames soulmate energy, you're protecting your love,
Speaker 5: You're protecting your connection. You do have the Three of Pinnacles.
Speaker 5: The Pinnacles ruled things that are tangible and of the earth, money, career, finances, resources.
Speaker 6: This is a collaborative energy. So this is a stark difference.
Speaker 5: From the King of Wands, Night of Pinnacle Night, Night
Speaker 5: of Cups, Night of Cups, Page of Cups energy. So
Speaker 5: it's like with this Soulmate you're building, you're collaborating.
Speaker 4: This is like competition versus collaboration.
Speaker 5: You have the Nine of Wands, the Four of Panicles,
Speaker 5: and the world in reverse. Now this is interesting. With
Speaker 5: the Nine of Wants, this is wounded warrior, wounded healer energy.
Speaker 5: Someone who's been through a lot, but they're exhausted, they're tired,
Speaker 5: and they're wondering whether or not.
Speaker 6: They can keep they can keep going or move forward.
Speaker 5: The four of panicles, though, suggest that yeah, someone doesn't
Speaker 5: want to move forward, especially with the world in reverse.
Speaker 5: The world of in reverse. I'm hearing something about unfinished business.
Speaker 5: So it feels like in the future, it's like, as
Speaker 5: you continue to build with your soulmates, it feels like
Speaker 5: there will be some sort of challenge to that or
Speaker 5: the person that's watching you live your best life and
Speaker 5: be happy. It feels like there there's a desire to
Speaker 5: hold to hold on, to hold on, and to keep
Speaker 5: you stuck in some sort of cycle. However, Yeah, you're
Speaker 5: moving on. I mean, and you're moving, and you're moving.
Speaker 6: You're moving.
Speaker 4: On and on to bigger, greater things faster.
Speaker 5: A lot of passion here, a lot of passion, passion, creativity, excitement.
Speaker 4: So yeah, just focus on that.
Speaker 6: I don't know why the past is.
Speaker 4: Coming up for like regarding your future.
Speaker 5: However, it feels like even though this person isn't actually
Speaker 5: taking any action, it feels like they have designs.
Speaker 1: Like they're privately, privately just doing doing.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, I can I.
Speaker 1: Can see how this could make sense.
Speaker 2: There's only one person from my past that I could
Speaker 2: think about that would be of any significance and represent
Speaker 2: specifically competition over collaboration. And there's only one person that
Speaker 2: would really have any type of uh control control, and
Speaker 2: that is because we have shared a pressure SKIF, so
Speaker 2: that'd be the only reason. And quite frankly, it's probably
Speaker 2: pretty on point, because I don't know, I've.
Speaker 1: Been feeling that lately a little bit.
Speaker 2: Not that I have a lot of communication because I
Speaker 2: don't because I don't need to, but I can just imagine, honestly,
Speaker 2: like we are living in a very digital world where
Speaker 2: everything is very public and you can see and.
Speaker 1: Checking in on, and this.
Speaker 2: Is someone that I've had a very long relationship with
Speaker 2: that I think probably thought I was always going to
Speaker 2: be around and always be accessible and like able to
Speaker 2: be fucked with, and I'm not. And I think that
Speaker 2: could probably frustrate anybody who thought, like, oh, this is
Speaker 2: how I was going to go down. But again, no
Speaker 2: skill sets to really be honest like wanting something that
Speaker 2: they cannot provide, because there is a lot of hurt.
Speaker 2: And yeah, I feel that, and I feel sad about
Speaker 2: for that person, you know, because at one point we
Speaker 2: were friends.
Speaker 1: But I really realized that they don't have the tools.
Speaker 2: But I think as I glow up and my happiness
Speaker 2: is you know, extended more and more, I feel that
Speaker 2: little bit of like, now are you watching.
Speaker 1: Me but watching a bitch?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Right now, Yeah, he's watching you. There's definitely a tether.
Speaker 2: My little podcast, my little I know, my my relationship
Speaker 2: and like how things have blossomed. But the crazy thing
Speaker 2: is that I'm having a vision is like when I
Speaker 2: was struggling for that relationship to work, I remember specifically
Speaker 2: a lot of time as being like, I trust me.
Speaker 2: When I'm done, I'm done, and you're gonna be so
Speaker 2: fucking sorry you did this.
Speaker 1: I kept saying, like you, I'm only gonna do this
Speaker 1: for so long. I kept saying it like only this
Speaker 1: was long. And then when I when I move about
Speaker 1: it here, I'm never looking back.
Speaker 2: And I feel that like that premonition has is coming
Speaker 2: to reality because there's a lot of things that in
Speaker 2: my life that have blossomed, and especially in love, you know,
Speaker 2: in the last two or three years, and I feel
Speaker 2: the disappointment that like, damn, I think that bitch was
Speaker 2: gonna find love.
Speaker 5: So yeah, with this, I would just say, you know,
Speaker 5: continue to protect your energy set those energetic boundaries, because
Speaker 5: even though let's say he has no knowledge of like
Speaker 5: anything having to do with magic or anything like that,
Speaker 5: it's it's still enter the negative potency, and it's still
Speaker 5: potent exactly. And so even if he isn't consciously aware
Speaker 5: of that, like you and and the way you you
Speaker 5: protect yourself is obviously just by continuing to take care
Speaker 5: of yourself right and really indulge in in that love,
Speaker 5: in that passion, in that excitement, in everything that you're
Speaker 5: creating with your life, and sending the attention to.
Speaker 1: Like as for protection in the as it's happening.
Speaker 4: Yes, exactly, nothing to fear.
Speaker 1: No cards, no babies.
Speaker 5: I mean it's not here, but we can ask about it.
Speaker 1: It's that woman.
Speaker 2: No, and I'm on birth control.
Speaker 1: But is there a baby in there?
Speaker 2: I know magic stumps all things, including have.
Speaker 1: A pregnancy pack. There's no babies. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Jamaican's firm can do any copper.
Speaker 2: I U G okay, fuck this cop God's gonna get
Speaker 2: make me marry.
Speaker 6: Yeah, this is You're hilarious.
Speaker 1: This is so great.
Speaker 3: Okay, Erica, I think.
Speaker 1: I have a similar question. I want to know more
Speaker 1: about what the.
Speaker 4: It's the death card, which is real that you love that.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's very scary, right, I mean in this act. Yeah,
Speaker 6: she's just powerful anyway, sorry.
Speaker 1: Similar, just I want to know, like what's what the
Speaker 1: future holds for me? And love and relationships, intimacy, babies.
Speaker 6: Okay, so let's ground our energy.
Speaker 2: We have a pregnancy pack, so yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Get more insight on that. They what here? You ready?
Speaker 3: Yes, okay, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and.
Speaker 5: It's Dickerson right, yes, ma'am, Okay, thank you for allowing
Speaker 5: me to connect with Erica Jefferson's energy so that we
Speaker 5: receive were concise, accurate, one hundred perry full specific messages
Speaker 5: retaining to Erica Dickerson's while being abundance, prosperity, love, joy, relationships, career,
Speaker 5: and any other messages you do already at the time
Speaker 5: we open up to receive the feeling and guidance Erica
Speaker 5: Dickerson needs most of it now on unconditional love through
Speaker 5: divine grace of our own free will. So be it spirit,
Speaker 5: Please tell us what does the future hold for Erica
Speaker 5: Dickerson Regarding love? What does the future hold for Erica
Speaker 5: Dickerson regarding love? What does the future hold for Erica
Speaker 5: Dickerson regarding love?
Speaker 2: Just An Moore, this is the most fancy tear time
Speaker 2: we ever hit.
Speaker 4: All we need is tea.
Speaker 1: Oh she just told me. Iver brought it down.
Speaker 5: The messages are the tea right, and the tea is hot? Okay, spirit,
Speaker 5: What is the future held for Dickerson regarding that?
Speaker 1: I actually might need to come to my birthday party? Okay,
Speaker 1: it's my birthday t I like that. She looks like
Speaker 1: you're outside, but ne have a balcony.
Speaker 3: Okay, r h it's a future okay.
Speaker 1: H m hmm, Okay, it looks like maybe half wolf
Speaker 1: half me what hmm.
Speaker 5: I need to clarify some of these cards, but we'll see.
Speaker 5: So the overall energy is the seven of Wands in reverse.
Speaker 5: So it feels like you're opening up regarding love, which
Speaker 5: is great when it's uprights defensiveness and reverse. This is
Speaker 5: this is letting our defenses down. It also feels like yeah,
Speaker 5: especially with temperance here. This has to do with leaning
Speaker 5: back too. So when the seven of wands is upright,
Speaker 5: this could be like putting up a fight for something.
Speaker 5: In reverse, it's like Okay. Now I'm now, I'm I'm
Speaker 5: leaning back. I'm releasing that energy, maybe even releasing a
Speaker 5: desire to control or releasing attachment to the outcome with
Speaker 5: the Seven of Wands in reverse. Okay, so you have
Speaker 5: the Page of Swords in reverse temperance and the ten
Speaker 5: of Wands.
Speaker 6: So with the Page of Swords.
Speaker 5: In reverse, it feels like this could be your energy
Speaker 5: or someone around you. But it does feel like there's
Speaker 5: there's a lack of either a lack of communication or
Speaker 5: a lack of searching. It feels like a lack of
Speaker 5: searching with the Page of Wanes. Excuse me, ha, Okay,
Speaker 5: so the page of Swords in reverse and me I've
Speaker 5: spoken to the Page of Wands in reverse, which is interesting.
Speaker 5: So the Page of Wands when it's upright, it has
Speaker 5: to do with a spark inspiration. When it comes to love,
Speaker 5: it's like something well, the wanes are very faul so
Speaker 5: you know, uh, a sexual encounter with with with with
Speaker 5: it just being that like what it is as opposed
Speaker 5: to you know, it's it's not going to evolve into
Speaker 5: some affair or something or like a long term thing.
Speaker 5: It's like the Page of WANs, I interpret it's one
Speaker 5: night stands with it in reverse. It's like, okay, coming
Speaker 5: out of that energy, coming out of yeah, of the
Speaker 5: need to look or to be aware of, like who is,
Speaker 5: who's doing what, Who's where?
Speaker 6: Who can I talk to next?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Okay, I love that, especially with temperance here, temperance is healing.
Speaker 5: Temperance is alchemy. Temperance is tempering out your emotions, taking
Speaker 5: your time, taking space, taking taking having patience to really
Speaker 5: heal and alchemize whatever burdens negative experiences you had in
Speaker 5: the past and turning that into something, into your strengths,
Speaker 5: into something positive, into something that.
Speaker 4: Serves you your power.
Speaker 5: The Ten of Wands here, Okay, this is interesting because
Speaker 5: the ten of Wands is a lot of fire. It's
Speaker 5: like the ultimate, the max. The ten represents the end
Speaker 5: of a cycle, and so the ten of Ones usually
Speaker 5: it's carrying some sort of burden, and the message associated
Speaker 5: with the card is okay, well it's time to put
Speaker 5: the burden down.
Speaker 6: But it feels like whatever.
Speaker 5: Whatever you've experienced in the past that has been burdensome
Speaker 5: or stressful, you're alchemizing that and that period is over.
Speaker 4: I mean.
Speaker 5: And also there's a lot of passion in the card too,
Speaker 5: So even though you're no longer looking, maybe you're also
Speaker 5: too getting really tuned into your own sexual energy, passion
Speaker 5: and really cultivating that. You have the two of Cups
Speaker 5: in reverse, the nine of Pinnacles in reverse, and the
Speaker 5: four of Swords in reverse. So with the two cups
Speaker 5: in reverse, it feels like you're letting go of a
Speaker 5: past connection here. The two of cups is soulmate twin
Speaker 5: flame energy, or at least for the time.
Speaker 1: Being, you're not.
Speaker 5: You're you're not in alignment with that, with that energy,
Speaker 5: and that has been quite burdensome considering it's following the
Speaker 5: ten of Wands. But again the ten of wanes, it's
Speaker 5: time to put it down right, releasing the burden. You
Speaker 5: do have the nine of Panacles in reverse here, though,
Speaker 5: so the nine of Pentacles when.
Speaker 4: It's upright, has to do.
Speaker 5: It's a very single, independent, self sufficient, confident energy. But
Speaker 5: with it being in reverse, it's like it has more
Speaker 5: to do with being interdependent. So it feels like you
Speaker 5: are connecting with people, situations, opportunities where you can coexist
Speaker 5: and rely on each other and be interdependent and not codependent.
Speaker 5: Although be careful of codependent energy with the devil as
Speaker 5: your last card, with the four of Swords in reverse.
Speaker 6: It's interesting.
Speaker 5: I'm not sure why the four of Swords isn't in
Speaker 5: reverse the four of Swords when it's upright. It has
Speaker 5: to do with healing, therapy, rest, recuperation, rejuvenation in reverse.
Speaker 6: It's this.
Speaker 5: So it's this lack of mental peace or resistance to
Speaker 5: mental health still mined with it being in reverse here.
Speaker 6: It feels like.
Speaker 5: It feels like there could be something challenging, especially when
Speaker 5: it comes.
Speaker 6: To it's like, even though.
Speaker 5: Even though there's this energy of okay, I am getting
Speaker 5: in tune with the passion, my own fire, my sacral chakra,
Speaker 5: there still could be something that's like challenging about that
Speaker 5: when it comes to mentally like it's not it's not
Speaker 5: peaceful yet.
Speaker 6: Does that make sense.
Speaker 5: It doesn't mean it won't get there, but that too,
Speaker 5: is a part of the leaning back, letting go energy.
Speaker 6: I'm gonna pull a card to clarify that though, just
Speaker 6: to make sure.
Speaker 5: It does feel like you are making new investments here
Speaker 5: with the page with the page of Pinnacles, so investing
Speaker 5: in a new connection, a new collaborative connection, which is
Speaker 5: great but clarify the four of Swords in reverse for Erica. Yeah,
Speaker 5: oh sorry, clarify the four of Swords in reverse. You
Speaker 5: got the Queen of Wands in reverse, the three of
Speaker 5: Cups in reverse. Yeah, someone here is so this could
Speaker 5: be you or someone around you, but someone here.
Speaker 6: Is a little stressed out.
Speaker 5: Uneasy around lack of initiative, lack of lack of movement
Speaker 5: on your end, a.
Speaker 4: Lack of uh yeah, a lack of or not, a lack.
Speaker 5: Of healing, not not reuniting here. So the four of
Speaker 5: Swords is in reverse. It's clarified by the Queen of
Speaker 5: Wands in reverse. So this is divine, feminine energy that
Speaker 5: isn't taking initiative, that's not putting up a fight, right.
Speaker 5: The three of Cups in reverse, the three of cups
Speaker 5: when it's upright, This is a very social, social, lighthearted,
Speaker 5: playful energy. It's also the energy of reconciliation and reunion.
Speaker 5: It's in reverse, so there is no reconnection with this person.
Speaker 5: And then with the seven of Pinnacles, you know, there's
Speaker 5: this energy of assessing the situation.
Speaker 6: What have you been invested?
Speaker 5: This feels like from the past, right, So what had
Speaker 5: you invested your energy, effort, money, resources into maybe they
Speaker 5: feel like they invested in you, you know what I mean.
Speaker 6: And so now it's like.
Speaker 1: How are you looking at it like that I could
Speaker 1: look at you.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 5: So now it's like, but it's over. What do you
Speaker 5: mean it's over? It can't be over. With the death
Speaker 5: card here at the bottom of the deck, that is
Speaker 5: your energy. You're grounded in your energy, which means you
Speaker 5: showing up as the queen of wants in reverse pertaining
Speaker 5: to this connection, this situation, this burden you've already released.
Speaker 5: I still feel like there's energetically still some shedding to do.
Speaker 5: So it's not you're it's complete. Yes, you're no longer connected, yes,
Speaker 5: but but but you absolutely have made the choice to
Speaker 5: not not put up a fight, not act, not not engaged,
Speaker 5: not reunite. And so yeah, it's causing some uneasiness.
Speaker 1: He thinks he's gonna spin the block.
Speaker 5: Yes, basically he thinks he's going to spin the block exactly.
Speaker 6: Yeah, the devil.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my tarot gifts just came in right now, thank
Speaker 2: you Lord.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but yeah, but but but it's not happening with
Speaker 5: the three A F cups in reverse. And so now
Speaker 5: that energy is stressing over it, right, maybe you are.
Speaker 1: Too stressing over whether this person's gonna spend.
Speaker 5: Not no, not whether or not this person is going
Speaker 5: to spin the block, but as far as just knowing
Speaker 5: that that presence, that energy is still there. Okay, So
Speaker 5: again the Page of Pinnacles in reverse, the Three of
Speaker 5: Pannicles and the Devil.
Speaker 6: So, yeah, we're new.
Speaker 5: We're focusing on planting new seeds, new opportunities, new collaborative partnerships,
Speaker 5: entities like situations. Yeah, you're building something new with people
Speaker 5: who want to collaborate build with you. The Devil card, though,
Speaker 5: is your last card. That's an interesting ending. So yeah,
Speaker 5: someone's obsessed with the devil and the four of Swords
Speaker 5: in reverse. Someone is obsessed.
Speaker 1: Why so obsessed with me?
Speaker 5: But look, the death card and the two of Cops
Speaker 5: is in reverse again. It is meant to say in reverse,
Speaker 5: you are not meant to be with this person. Regardless
Speaker 5: of whether or not there was some sort of soul
Speaker 5: tie soule connection, it definitely feels more karmic than anything else,
Speaker 5: which is the purpose of a karmic connection is the lesson, right,
Speaker 5: it's not. It's not to hold on to forever. It's
Speaker 5: to receive the lesson, let go and grow. So yeah,
Speaker 5: with a devil card, someone's obsessed, They're they're going to
Speaker 5: try to hold on to you. Whether they're taking action
Speaker 5: towards you or not, it doesn't matter. They are pissed
Speaker 5: that you are not taking action towards them.
Speaker 1: That's just okay.
Speaker 6: How is that?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Interesting? I really resonate with that. I think that
Speaker 1: I've been in a period of really trying to make
Speaker 1: sure that I'm clearing space, like I'm really fully removed
Speaker 1: from that energy completely, so that what's next for me
Speaker 1: is really pure and not interrupted by any sort I'm
Speaker 1: not bringing any of that into this. And I do
Speaker 1: feel like I can feel the energy of my of
Speaker 1: my last relationship is still present, and it's not me,
Speaker 1: it's him. I can and we haven't spoke, we haven't
Speaker 1: spoken to each other, we haven't reached out to one another.
Speaker 1: But there is a level of obsession why I don't
Speaker 1: want to, Like God, we might listen to this episode.
Speaker 1: I don't think. I'm not saying he's because you're obsessed,
Speaker 1: but but our relationship for you did, our relationship did
Speaker 1: feel very karmic, and that's what I felt why I
Speaker 1: went back for the lesson because we ended our relationship.
Speaker 1: I went back because I felt like the lesson wasn'tcomplete.
Speaker 1: And I've said, like, this relationship was so hard for
Speaker 1: me to depart from and I didn't know why, Like
Speaker 1: I've left people for less like I've I've had relationships
Speaker 1: there was so much easier for me to walk away
Speaker 1: from people that didn't hurt me as deeply as this
Speaker 1: person hurt me. So why is this Why does it
Speaker 1: feel so karmic? And that's what I said, It feels
Speaker 1: like it's something karmic here that a lesson I was
Speaker 1: meant to learn, and I knew that I had to
Speaker 1: depart from it to get the blessing that was on
Speaker 1: the other side for me, and and and even in
Speaker 1: readings that's literally the thing that comes up over and
Speaker 1: over and over again was that like this needs to
Speaker 1: be released so you can get your blessing. This needs
Speaker 1: to be releasing your blessing. This is dead, dead dead,
Speaker 1: over and over and over, including my dear friend who.
Speaker 2: Also psychic friend, who said it like five times in
Speaker 2: different languages gently not so gently, subliminally.
Speaker 6: And the death card telepathically, and the death card.
Speaker 5: In this deck was the first card to come out
Speaker 5: before I even started shuffling for you, and he heard
Speaker 5: this again.
Speaker 2: Yeah oh yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: So yes, this feels affirming and it feels like, yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you. I feel like I really needed to hear
Speaker 1: this message. So I appreciate that You're welcome. You hear that, nigga.
Speaker 1: So anybody, for any.
Speaker 2: Of the women or men's out there listening wondering what
Speaker 2: does this all mean? It means you're the shit and
Speaker 2: your ex is probably obsessing over you because you've grown
Speaker 2: and you've done the work and.
Speaker 1: You're a bad bitch.
Speaker 2: Keep on moving, don't look back, even if people are
Speaker 2: secretly plotting on you.
Speaker 6: Exactly.
Speaker 1: Love this.
Speaker 2: Well, Thank you, Ashley, Thank you Ashley. We tell everybody
Speaker 2: where they can find you. Ashley is obviously in our
Speaker 2: hood in La. She does parties, she pulls up, she
Speaker 2: pulls up in different places in La. If you're as
Speaker 2: lucky as us, you know to find her in Studio
Speaker 2: City or Abic Kenny or any of the classy Pacific palisades.
Speaker 2: Wherever she goes, tell her good Mom sent you. And
Speaker 2: if you have a birthday party, a shindig, a corporate party,
Speaker 2: coming up.
Speaker 1: This is your girl. This is a beautiful bus.
Speaker 2: Support black businesses and get your love reading here.
Speaker 1: Yes, thank you?
Speaker 5: Every ready where they can find you so you can
Speaker 5: find me on Instagram, Star Magic Taro and my website
Speaker 5: is Starmagic Tarot dot com.
Speaker 1: And I'm in La.
Speaker 5: I go all over the place Wednesday through Sunday from
Speaker 5: nine am to five pm. I always post my locations
Speaker 5: on Instagram.
Speaker 1: Perfect, Thank you, thank you. I was so thorough. I'm
Speaker 1: so yeah. I love this.
Speaker 2: You gotta get media in the Magic school Bus. Star
Speaker 2: Magic school Bus, thank you? Are you head ready to
Speaker 2: head back up? I'm ready, let's go finish this episode. Okay, Wow,
Speaker 2: that was amazing. I love Ashley.
Speaker 1: I love her too.
Speaker 2: That is very much a magical fucking bus from someone
Speaker 2: who loved the Magic school Bus.
Speaker 1: My woodchy dreams have come true me too. I'm so
Speaker 1: happy that God just blessed us with her on that
Speaker 1: one one one one one day. How did you enjoy
Speaker 1: your reading? I did? I did.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's interesting for someone to tell you to
Speaker 2: prepare for protection, you know, but.
Speaker 1: Most of the things I already knew in my gut.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think she was just more so saying
Speaker 1: like you need to just whatever boundaries you have, just
Speaker 1: make sure that they're solid and legit, cause I think
Speaker 1: like you've struggled with that in the past with him,
Speaker 1: you know, and like feeling like you need to be
Speaker 1: more flexible, be flexible or be understanding or also you're
Speaker 1: good at you know, you've been really good at like
Speaker 1: kind of just bee like it's fine, it's whatever, it's
Speaker 1: not a big deal, and like not knowing how that
Speaker 1: really has affected your your energy and your energetic body,
Speaker 1: not even just your physical body, but just like you
Speaker 1: kind of pushing things away and saying, oh, he disrespected
Speaker 1: me and called me all these things, but I'm fine,
Speaker 1: totally just being nice. I'm gonna call him. It's fine.
Speaker 1: I need to do laundry. I'm gonna to his house
Speaker 1: and wash laundry. No bitch, she called you a fucking
Speaker 1: horror last week. You can't go wash laundry at his house.
Speaker 1: So you've come a long way. I mean I have
Speaker 1: come a long way. I have.
Speaker 2: Even when she was mentioning, I'm like, who could the
Speaker 2: fuck she could be talking about? And maybe there's only
Speaker 2: really one person that has any any strings attached. But yeah,
Speaker 2: I think you're right. It is a matter of keeping
Speaker 2: strong boundaries and minimal communication, because that's what it is.
Speaker 2: And I think it's also really just like releasing not
Speaker 2: the care because obviously we have a common thing that
Speaker 2: I care about, but just releasing that I have no
Speaker 2: control over this person and how they show up for
Speaker 2: my person.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but also having the boundaries for her too, because
Speaker 1: she might she doesn't necessarily have those tools yet, you know,
Speaker 1: like she's only nine and she's just under she's just
Speaker 1: I mean, that's her dad, So creating boundaries around your
Speaker 1: dad at nine is absolutely impossible. So you have to
Speaker 1: do that for her. You have to create the boundary
Speaker 1: for her if that's necessary. And maybe that's also the
Speaker 1: message too, around just like really protecting her from whatever
Speaker 1: she needs protection from, yeah, and.
Speaker 2: Just yea having conversations and keeping it up. But and
Speaker 2: also just not caring because you haven't really shown me
Speaker 2: care and like, so I can't really care. I'm out
Speaker 2: in the space for that. How did you feel about yours?
Speaker 2: Which you guys is only going to be on Patreon.
Speaker 2: We only have enough time for one reading on this episode,
Speaker 2: and Eric is being very scorpio mysterious private about her
Speaker 2: love life right now, So.
Speaker 1: I and this reading was very telling about my love life.
Speaker 1: It was very direct, and I felt like, what.
Speaker 2: Do you think that she Well, yes, it was very direct.
Speaker 2: It's been yeah, But do you think she was telling
Speaker 2: you to watch your like not watch your back, but
Speaker 2: like your front and your back kind of.
Speaker 1: I think this is a trend that I've had that
Speaker 1: I've a message that I have been receiving a lot.
Speaker 1: Do you think you're just something crazy? No, no, ego
Speaker 1: better fucking not be you ass you won't do that.
Speaker 1: But it was just I think you don't know no, no.
Speaker 2: No, not that I think like harmful, violent, But I
Speaker 2: don't think. I don't think the ego is as strong
Speaker 2: as you think.
Speaker 1: I don't think that it is.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, I think that like I think like the
Speaker 2: craziness of like the obsession of wanting someone. I this
Speaker 2: is from my own This is from my own experience.
Speaker 2: When you're obsessed, your ego goes out the window. You're like,
Speaker 2: fuck it, I'm gonna do it. I'ma do the crazy thing.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna show up.
Speaker 1: But when time goes by, I would think that that
Speaker 1: that that feeling numbs more like the call to do
Speaker 1: that maybe numbs more, but I don't know.
Speaker 2: It also might up it more because you're like, I'm
Speaker 2: expecting you to pick up, I'm expecting you to call,
Speaker 2: I'm expecting you to come around. And then the longer
Speaker 2: it goes, like the obsession might get crazier.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but the reading was kind of crazy.
Speaker 1: Just listen to Ashley do my reading. It's something that yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's it's something that's been coming up
Speaker 1: a few different times from a few different people that
Speaker 1: have read me, and I don't want to ignore it,
Speaker 1: but I also don't want to put a lot of
Speaker 1: energy towards it because I am very protected in my life.
Speaker 1: I've just genuinely been very protected when it comes to
Speaker 1: like matters of that of that degree, even if matters
Speaker 1: of the heart, like things being revealed to me and
Speaker 1: like the at in divine timing at crucial moments in
Speaker 1: my life where I'm about to make a big decision
Speaker 1: moving getting married, like all these things, like I'm always
Speaker 1: protected when I'm about to make very big choices you're
Speaker 1: not supposed to, even like with Iri, like having Iri,
Speaker 1: like God said, no, I want this soul to come through,
Speaker 1: even knowing that like I was going to be hurt
Speaker 1: through the process, you know, so I think that I
Speaker 1: think either way, I'm fine, and I wish that person
Speaker 1: love in space and all the things. But yeah, the
Speaker 1: reading was intense, but also as a reminder of like
Speaker 1: the path that I'm on, which is like is the
Speaker 1: self love is the protect is like the cleansing of
Speaker 1: my of like the energies from before from my body
Speaker 1: and my soul. And that's really like the vibe I've
Speaker 1: been on. And that's actually why I got this deck
Speaker 1: for us. By the way, Self Love Deck.
Speaker 2: Oh from are we really strangers? We're not not really strangers.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys have heard of this brand,
Speaker 1: but I really love it and the self Love Deck
Speaker 1: has been interesting. It's like prompting me to really have
Speaker 1: to like deeply reflect on my wants, my needs, my desires,
Speaker 1: my x and I wanted to pull a few cards
Speaker 1: with you today if that's okay, my dear, Okay, danky,
Speaker 1: But first I want will a joint because it's time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you guys, we've been in the studio for ten hours.
Speaker 1: My poor child has been in the other room for
Speaker 1: ten hours. Just I don't even know what she's been entertained.
Speaker 1: I think now her bestie is here, so it's better.
Speaker 1: But it's been a long day for working moms.
Speaker 2: I'm so grateful that kids have each other. I mean, honestly,
Speaker 2: I'm grateful our kids have each other. I'm grateful we
Speaker 2: have each other. I'm grateful that we have Orlando now,
Speaker 2: Like it's literally each piece is an intricate part of
Speaker 2: everything that happens in our world.
Speaker 1: And like.
Speaker 2: I know you're talking before about our like your parents,
Speaker 2: your mom, like our famili's being ready for certain like, hey,
Speaker 2: what's up? You know, I think women's like women parents
Speaker 2: do that, but I forget like now that as a mom,
Speaker 2: I mean, what's up? Like am I going to meet someone?
Speaker 2: Am I going to meet their parents?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 2: You know, like wanting you to wanting to basically like
Speaker 2: leave you and save hands. Yeah, not that anyone's going anywhere,
Speaker 2: but I just when you said that, I just didn't
Speaker 2: think about it. But it's like there have been times
Speaker 2: in relationships where I felt good and then suddenly I
Speaker 2: felt unsafe, you know, like that drop like someone's done
Speaker 2: something crazy to me, and then suddenly I feel alone
Speaker 2: in the world, you know, and that's a very scary feeling,
Speaker 2: like oh I feel safe or good, and then you'd
Speaker 2: slap me or some shit, and then I'm like, oh no,
Speaker 2: like I gotta call my dad, and I'm like, bitch,
Speaker 2: you're not twelve, you know. And then it's like even then,
Speaker 2: it's like you can't call your dad because then like
Speaker 2: at this point we're all adults, and like that's maybe
Speaker 2: asking for your dad to go to jail.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 1: There's like all these there's there's all these things that
Speaker 1: we like, I don't know, there's that, there's so much
Speaker 1: to that. It's like, don't call your dad because yeah,
Speaker 1: there's that. There's also like maybe I'll go back together
Speaker 1: with him, and then it's going to be a bigger
Speaker 1: deal than it needs to be, and I don't want
Speaker 1: to expose him. I need to protect my family. It's
Speaker 1: like all these things, all these layers that a woman
Speaker 1: goes through and thinks about or maybe you don't have
Speaker 1: a dad, you know, maybe you don't have a dad.
Speaker 2: Maybe you don't have a dad that's going to show
Speaker 2: up that way, or brothers or whatever. But like I
Speaker 2: do I really I've felt I've felt that feeling of
Speaker 2: being a vult, like being vulnerable as a woman in
Speaker 2: the world, especially having a child, and feeling like I
Speaker 2: feel much more powerful in partnership with you, with Orlando,
Speaker 2: Like I feel like I have my people and people
Speaker 2: have my back, and there's people who are not going
Speaker 2: to do things that are blatantly going to have me
Speaker 2: out here, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And so as a mom, I can.
Speaker 2: Understand how that how I would want that from my child,
Speaker 2: Not that I'm going to be the mom like you know,
Speaker 2: or we're gonna get some grandkids, but like just feeling like, oh,
Speaker 2: I don't have to worry about you and this person,
Speaker 2: you know, I don't have to worry about this person
Speaker 2: doing some crazy shit to you, you know. And maybe
Speaker 2: because I've been in relationships where niggas have done crazy
Speaker 2: shit to me, like put their hands on me and
Speaker 2: shit like that.
Speaker 1: But I think that.
Speaker 2: Women generally are supposed to be wild and free and
Speaker 2: manifest and like utilize their intuitiveness and their magic. But
Speaker 2: we've been so we've so rarely been protected and felt
Speaker 2: safe enough to do that that we have not been
Speaker 2: able to tap into that because we haven't been with
Speaker 2: safe relationships, and so I think safety brings like a
Speaker 2: whole different level to your ability to manifest.
Speaker 1: It does because the man are supposed to protect us
Speaker 1: so that we can.
Speaker 2: Stay so we can stay wild and be magical.
Speaker 1: Wait, you guys, I want to show you these joint
Speaker 1: papers because this is like very exciting breaking news. Me
Speaker 1: and Mila have our own joint papers.
Speaker 2: And we also have matches and guess what, they're pink.
Speaker 1: Our papers are also pink to match our matches. And
Speaker 1: because we're some coordinating beaches. Have you have you realijoint? Oh?
Speaker 2: We did RELI joint with them already. Yes, we know
Speaker 2: it because it says manifest with us. I'm gonna light
Speaker 2: it and I'm gonna let's take a moment to manifest
Speaker 2: some things and love and in partnership.
Speaker 1: Let's put some energy into this. Okay, hmm, I was
Speaker 1: really envisioned you me at your wedding. Well, there you go.
Speaker 1: Taste like marriage?
Speaker 2: Taste like marriage? How do you think marriage tastes.
Speaker 1: Melted caramel? I like caramel, salty, extra sweet. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: can see that. Okay, are you ready to play the
Speaker 1: self love game? I'm ready. Okay, let's start. Should we
Speaker 1: start with past. Let's see, is it past, past, present, future? Oh?
Speaker 1: I didn't realize that that was just one, two, three levels.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll do a little shuffle, little tarot shuffle since
Speaker 1: we already got our tarots out of the way. Oh god,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be on. Okay, can you pick one? Uh
Speaker 1: huh mm hmm past?
Speaker 2: What did you feel bad for at the time, but
Speaker 2: are glad you did?
Speaker 1: Anyway? A lot of shit? Are you asking? Is that
Speaker 1: is he asking me? We're supposed to ask yourselves. We're
Speaker 1: asking ourselves. What is it? You know?
Speaker 3: Think?
Speaker 2: What did you feel bad for at the time, but
Speaker 2: you're glad you did anyway? I'm glad I cheated on
Speaker 2: Adventure bay. Oh I needed to go and he needed
Speaker 2: to make me go fast.
Speaker 1: That was good? Am I a slpos to answer this
Speaker 1: as well? I think? So what did I feel bad
Speaker 1: for in the past that I did? Anyway? Drop out
Speaker 1: of college? Yeah, I felt really guilty about that, but
Speaker 1: then it ended up working out got pretty good. I
Speaker 1: got a job traveling the world soon after that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: set me on this journey here.
Speaker 2: It isn't crazy to think the kids that we were
Speaker 2: hesitant to have. Literally, there's a word I'm trying to set.
Speaker 1: Held propelled us into this well the other day, what
Speaker 1: was it yesterday? It was like, wow, we have a
Speaker 1: whole have a mom? How the fuck do I have
Speaker 1: a mom brand? Essentially? And I didn't even want kids?
Speaker 1: Like that's a fucking what do they call it? A change?
Speaker 1: When it's like in a movie, when it's like a
Speaker 1: plot twist. Yeah, that's a plot twist because that was
Speaker 1: not on my mind when I was in my twenties
Speaker 1: at all. I just wanted to have fun and be
Speaker 1: a famous actress.
Speaker 2: I wanted to be a mom, but I don't think
Speaker 2: I really thought it out. I didn't want to be
Speaker 2: a mom in the situation that I was in. But
Speaker 2: you know, a tarot reading, we'll do it? Am I
Speaker 2: pulling from the top titty reminder. I don't know if
Speaker 2: this is a question.
Speaker 1: I think it's just a reminder.
Speaker 2: Then it may be hard to see now, but you
Speaker 2: did the best you could at the time.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Yeah. I was trying to think of a
Speaker 1: moment that I can feel that way about. Still processing,
Speaker 1: I'm probably still not. I probably still don't feel that
Speaker 1: way yet. I guess should I pick one? Are are you
Speaker 1: a shuffle.
Speaker 2: Oh look at this fancy we're using now that we're
Speaker 2: dressing old timey permanently.
Speaker 1: We also I need to make.
Speaker 3: It look old.
Speaker 1: I need to make it look old time.
Speaker 2: I think I need to trademark the word old timey.
Speaker 2: It's an adjective.
Speaker 1: Bitch. All right, I got lost. I'm really committing to
Speaker 1: this life. Okay. I used to say in the olden
Speaker 1: days when I was talking to my grandfather that Papa
Speaker 1: was like in the olden days, Okay, what forced you
Speaker 1: to grow even if it was hard? Motherhood? Yeah, motherhood rejection.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, those two things. Mother I would say, avoidance,
Speaker 1: avoiding shit. I go to level two. Level two is
Speaker 1: present the present. They're not terarot cards.
Speaker 2: Okay, what do you have great taste in everything? I
Speaker 2: like my fashion sense. I like how I dress and
Speaker 2: how I decorate. I agree, what do you have a
Speaker 2: great What do you think you have great taste in?
Speaker 2: And how I make businesses?
Speaker 1: I think I have great taste in fashions. I think
Speaker 1: I have great taste in just aesthetically like what I
Speaker 1: envision the energy and the vibeing like I can. I'm
Speaker 1: a vibe a curator. I would say, and I think
Speaker 1: I have good taste in go friends. I was gonna
Speaker 1: say that friends, Yeah, a good taste in friends. I
Speaker 1: have a really well curated friend group. It took me
Speaker 1: thirty six years to find all of them, and it's
Speaker 1: ever evolving. But for the most part, I have a
Speaker 1: very strong foundation. I don't really see it. I really
Speaker 1: don't see the foundation shifting anytime soon. What are you
Speaker 1: spending more energy on than you have to give?
Speaker 2: Stress, stressing, negative thoughts, spending more energy on negative thoughts
Speaker 2: and stress than I have to give because I don't
Speaker 2: have any time to give to anything negative. But sometimes
Speaker 2: I find myself having fleeting but still self self doubt,
Speaker 2: self doubt, negative self talk.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was gonna say negative self talk. I would say,
Speaker 1: talking badly about myself, about my body to myself. And
Speaker 1: then also I think because I'm I think I'm a realist,
Speaker 1: and I think because I am such a deep reflector
Speaker 1: of like all scenarios, sometimes I can focus on the
Speaker 1: worst case scenario, even though I've also acknowledged the like
Speaker 1: the best case scenario, and I know that either one
Speaker 1: is possibility. But the worst case scenario also, I think
Speaker 1: often I think it probably just rattles me more so
Speaker 1: it sticks with me, and so it's always kind of
Speaker 1: lingering in the background, even when I'm moving towards the
Speaker 1: path of the best case scenario.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, yeah, I will probably think about the worst
Speaker 2: case scenario first, and much more than the best case.
Speaker 1: I think I think of the first, the best case first,
Speaker 1: and then the worst comes in and creeps in with
Speaker 1: heavy motherfucking a vengeance. It's like, hey, bitch, don't forget
Speaker 1: about this nig go over here, because we can fuck
Speaker 1: all this shit.
Speaker 6: Ut.
Speaker 2: I challenge everyone to check themselves when they have when
Speaker 2: they visualize or think of the most negative outcome first.
Speaker 2: I really challenge you to just in every situation think
Speaker 2: about the best outcome first, and the most and astudents
Speaker 2: something else creeps in. Let it go like the very best,
Speaker 2: like even more than your mind desires. M.
Speaker 1: That's a great practice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I really invite you to do that, like, and
Speaker 2: don't limit yourself either, like, oh, that can't happen.
Speaker 1: No, Like.
Speaker 2: After I found out the five richest niggas in the
Speaker 2: world double their fucking wealth in fucking four years, I'm like, bitch,
Speaker 2: I can ask for anything.
Speaker 1: It's basically like, let's up the delusion and let's up
Speaker 1: the delusion, like let's just be actually crazy. And you
Speaker 1: know what those positive delusion and those are the ones,
Speaker 1: those are the people that are often most successful. I
Speaker 1: mean yeah, they have insane delusion around things and it
Speaker 1: just works. So yeah, your turn is it? I think?
Speaker 1: So I just read this one.
Speaker 2: What's an outfit you feel great in my naked body?
Speaker 1: This outfit's pretty cute. Mmm, like a silky like a
Speaker 1: silky low cut dress like that shows my titty so
Speaker 1: I don't have to wear a bra like you can
Speaker 1: see them hang. And then also is cut very low
Speaker 1: in the back and it's form fitting but just enough
Speaker 1: movement that it just like lightly just envelopes my body.
Speaker 1: And some sexy heels.
Speaker 2: Yeah, give me a six inchill, give me a high
Speaker 2: slit and yes, I love a low lo low almost
Speaker 2: to my ass crack back. Yeah, and a low and
Speaker 2: a low plunge for my little titties.
Speaker 1: I also love lingerie.
Speaker 2: I like see through lace, like lace that I can
Speaker 2: see through. I like it's like classy but also pursh.
Speaker 1: And if we're talking clothes, like actual clothes that I
Speaker 1: have to put on that are cover me high waisted gens,
Speaker 1: high wasted bell bottom jeans like those. Yeah yeah, it's
Speaker 1: the ass just right, accentuates the the waist flair perfect
Speaker 1: never flair, never goes out of style. They tried, they
Speaker 1: tried to make it go out of style, and they
Speaker 1: always bring that bitch back. You can't. You can't because
Speaker 1: people try to make fun of you, like why is
Speaker 1: she wearing bell bottoms? Like they try to make bell
Speaker 1: bottoms seem dorky every now and then in history. I
Speaker 1: don't know where I pulled this information, but I remember
Speaker 1: it feeling this way. Okay, oh my god, don't embarrass
Speaker 1: us with her matches. Can't be her match? Okay, last one, Okay, three,
Speaker 1: We're going to future. We've done past, we're in the present.
Speaker 1: Now we're heading to the future. I also love these cards.
Speaker 1: They have the kids ones too, And I played with
Speaker 1: Iri and at first I could tell she she was
Speaker 1: playing with Marae and then I came in and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, let me play it. She's like why.
Speaker 1: I was like, what the fuck?
Speaker 2: Are kids like programmed to hate the person that brought
Speaker 2: them in this bit?
Speaker 1: I was like why, because I want to know you,
Speaker 1: don't you want to know me. Yeah, you know, I
Speaker 1: like this, I did it and then she was into it.
Speaker 1: I'm like, just shut up.
Speaker 2: Even like the like the like irritation they get with us,
Speaker 2: like I still I do it to you, but lik
Speaker 2: it does.
Speaker 1: It to me. I'm like, why am I annoying you?
Speaker 1: What the fuck did I do? Can feed you every day?
Speaker 1: Like what? I guess? Like the disrespect is so crazy.
Speaker 1: I mean generally my daughter she's pretty respectful. It's just
Speaker 1: whatever because she is so respectful, Like whenever she gets
Speaker 1: out of line.
Speaker 2: That's absurd.
Speaker 1: It's absurd. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa. Okay,
Speaker 1: why see these you know what I have? I have
Speaker 1: a please stay lit. You gotta be careful almost very
Speaker 1: fiery fire. Yeah hmm. What quality do you want to
Speaker 1: cultivate in yourself? Hm hmm, Like more here you go there?
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, God, there's a few things I would like
Speaker 1: to cultivate more. I would say I want to cultivate
Speaker 1: more like leadership, but like really positive leadership qualities where
Speaker 1: I'm like impactful in my leadership that it's actually changing
Speaker 1: the world, which I think do we do and I'm doing.
Speaker 1: But I just feel like I could be a better leader.
Speaker 1: I could be a softer leader, maybe a more even
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just I feel like I have
Speaker 1: a lot more more to learn in that space because
Speaker 1: I was an unexpected I've always been a leader. I
Speaker 1: feel like I've always been a leader, but I feel
Speaker 1: like I've always had these qualities in me, but I
Speaker 1: never expected. I didn't know what it was going to be,
Speaker 1: what it was going to look like. And now that
Speaker 1: we're here and we lead in ways in so many
Speaker 1: different ways. Actually is in our parenthood, our motherhood, in
Speaker 1: our business, I think even like leading ourselves, like really
Speaker 1: feeling confident that I can trust myself and that I
Speaker 1: would want to be led by myself, like I would
Speaker 1: want to work for me. Yeah, and about that, right,
Speaker 1: I think that quality.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Maybe being even more playful serious resides design in my design.
Speaker 1: But I want to tap into more of that freedom.
Speaker 1: And I think I already have that in me. I
Speaker 1: think I already live in that space, but I feel
Speaker 1: like I can there's even more. So I'm excited and
Speaker 1: I'm and I want to cultivate more of that playfulness
Speaker 1: that I already zude. What about you? I think those
Speaker 1: are really good ones.
Speaker 2: I concur I would Yeah, I would like to be
Speaker 2: a better leader, just hone into those skills more. I
Speaker 2: would like to be more discipline. I procrastinate and I
Speaker 2: have like this avoidance, Like when I know I need
Speaker 2: to do something like call the credit man, do this,
Speaker 2: I'm just like avoid avoid and then like I'm mad
Speaker 2: at myself, so I do. I think it's time to
Speaker 2: not be a twelfth grader that needs to do the
Speaker 2: project on Friday but doesn't. And yeah, better leader and
Speaker 2: more play. I think as there's a level of conscious play,
Speaker 2: you have to be intentional in practice because adult hood
Speaker 2: comes with so much stress and so many real issues
Speaker 2: that feel urgent, and like motherhood too, and just survival,
Speaker 2: especially living in like La and living at a you know,
Speaker 2: just this time, this season and the world, and I
Speaker 2: would like to just stop taking everything seriously like I'm
Speaker 2: pretty chill. But yes, I agree the level of play
Speaker 2: could always be up and just be more brave and
Speaker 2: like have less self doubt. I'm like always like what
Speaker 2: do you think?
Speaker 1: What do you think? What do you think? Bitch?
Speaker 2: Just to do it, you know, it's like that liver rationality,
Speaker 2: like this perspective, this perspective, this perspective.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think as I'm listening to talk to I
Speaker 1: think I'm realizing that a lot of this what I
Speaker 1: want to in like the play space is really genuinely
Speaker 1: at its core, just more presence, like being more present
Speaker 1: so that my natural play can really thrive. Whatever that
Speaker 1: looks like me in my most present, relaxed like thriving,
Speaker 1: cup filling space, Like who am I? If I can
Speaker 1: do that? And if I can create and cultivate the
Speaker 1: environment so that I can do that, And I think
Speaker 1: that like I'm on a pretty good start, you know,
Speaker 1: of creating that environment where I'm playing. Right now, I'm
Speaker 1: sitting here with my best friend smoking a joint, you know,
Speaker 1: debating or you know, contemplating what play is and about
Speaker 1: to leave to Costa Rica on my retreat to play,
Speaker 1: to go play with a bunch of amazing, incredible stranger
Speaker 1: women that are going to be my friends in about
Speaker 1: twelve days and the next I'm going to go on
Speaker 1: tour and go like tap into a different space and play,
Speaker 1: get a realm of different play. I am a different part,
Speaker 1: and I'm going to come home and I'm going to
Speaker 1: be a mom and I'm going to explore what play
Speaker 1: is like for this person that I brought through and
Speaker 1: like what we create together, and then me and my
Speaker 1: lover are going to play and create a whole other
Speaker 1: space of whatever the fuck that means for us. Like
Speaker 1: I think I'm on a pretty good start. So I
Speaker 1: think it's like trusting that experience, like remember like being
Speaker 1: present enough to know what's happening. Like you're in the play, bitch,
Speaker 1: you're in it. You're playing trying to get to the play.
Speaker 1: You're in it. If you would just relax right.
Speaker 2: And be like like, oh I asked for all this.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I yes, I have business calls because
Speaker 1: that's what play involves too. This is an adult play involved. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like yeah, that's that's real shit. So it's like, yes,
Speaker 1: it's cultivating more presence and really looking around and opening
Speaker 1: up my eyes and seeing like, oh, okay, wow, look
Speaker 1: at that. Oh I'm here. Oh wow, I'm sitting in
Speaker 1: front of cameras and no one's in the room and
Speaker 1: I'm talking to my friend and I used to be
Speaker 1: sitting in my living room dining room table and just
Speaker 1: like appreciating every moment and every part of it and
Speaker 1: acknowledging the evolution of whatever that is to you, you know,
Speaker 1: and you start to look around and you're like, you
Speaker 1: you start to be proud of.
Speaker 2: Yourself because play, play really got got you here, you know,
Speaker 2: play had you arrived at this moment, like the moment
Speaker 2: you started to kind of like explore the play that's when.
Speaker 1: So yeah, cultivating more play and presence.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're right, like bringing that more into all
Speaker 2: the aspects of your life, you know, and sometimes it's
Speaker 2: it's just nice to remember that, like even like.
Speaker 1: Thinking about like not like writing down what type of play,
Speaker 1: Like what is the play you have with Like how
Speaker 1: would you define the play we share and versus the
Speaker 1: play you and Orlando share versus the play you have
Speaker 1: with Luna versus the play you have in your business.
Speaker 1: Like you can literally you can think of something. You
Speaker 1: might not land on it exactly, but there is a
Speaker 1: feeling behind each one that exists.
Speaker 2: Well, and I also I feel like, yes, there's a
Speaker 2: feeling behind each one that exists, and there's also like
Speaker 2: a there's also a string that attaches them all.
Speaker 1: To absolutely because we all kind of.
Speaker 2: Play in the same way, because we're all.
Speaker 1: Kind of a web. It becomes a web of the
Speaker 1: people too, and where you guys meet in your play
Speaker 1: on their journeys that are separate from yours, and it
Speaker 1: just becomes this big web. And that's really like kind
Speaker 1: of what I feel like our existence here is about
Speaker 1: at its core, but we've we've come so far away
Speaker 1: from from the play and what life is supposed to
Speaker 1: be at its essence and its core. Yeah, and play
Speaker 1: then is now almost looks like either a privilege or silly,
Speaker 1: so like yeah, obsolete or yeah necessary.
Speaker 2: And necessary is a big one like selfish, immature. Yeah
Speaker 2: that's so true. But I don't know, I think our
Speaker 2: play is like it's like care free. But also it
Speaker 2: just reminds me of like I just remember this one time,
Speaker 2: and like I think it was like fourth grade or
Speaker 2: fifth grade and each class had was put in small
Speaker 2: groups and it was the first time it was like
Speaker 2: make a business. And I was like, that was the
Speaker 2: first time I ever had like the concept of someone
Speaker 2: giving me the power and like whatever, our group or
Speaker 2: whatever like made everyone in the school collect coins. It
Speaker 2: was like called blank coin Challenge. I'm just skipping it
Speaker 2: because it's also her school now, but we just collected
Speaker 2: coins from everybody in the school, and then we donated
Speaker 2: them and I was like, oh shit, like we made
Speaker 2: an idea and everybody listened. And then I remember, like
Speaker 2: me and Danielle like so then we're going to start
Speaker 2: like a rhinestone rhinestone princess T shirt company and like
Speaker 2: writing business plans on the Microsoft word and like ironing things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, for real. But our relationship.
Speaker 2: Gives me that energy that like it's boundless because then
Speaker 2: those times like I had this idea like oh I
Speaker 2: could really do anything, I really felt that way. And
Speaker 2: then somewhere along the way, like all these other like
Speaker 2: doubts and things came in. And when we're together, I
Speaker 2: feel infinite possibilities and it feels fun. It feels fun like,
Speaker 2: oh what could we come up with? And also just
Speaker 2: like someone who we could just get into so much
Speaker 2: shit with, but also know we're always gonna be okay,
Speaker 2: like somehow like okay, we're gonna get back. Yeah, someone's
Speaker 2: gonna get us back. We're gonna figure it out. That's
Speaker 2: that's a stranger. They're gonna know.
Speaker 1: We can't look at our phones, but they can, like
Speaker 1: just like the most fun, protected, free, liberating fun.
Speaker 2: You know that I've only experienced with like a handful
Speaker 2: of people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when I was thinking of our play, I felt
Speaker 1: like I felt the word conjuring come up, like and
Speaker 1: it's that feeling of like being able to like create anything.
Speaker 1: It's such a creative play, but it's also like a
Speaker 1: protective and like it's just adventurous play.
Speaker 2: And it is adventurous. I do feel like like like
Speaker 2: going on an exploration. That's what I feel like my
Speaker 2: like my real adventure, Betty, Like let's let's do it.
Speaker 2: Let's pack our bags and just get in and start
Speaker 2: the engine. Yeah, and then like we've literally done that.
Speaker 2: But just in life, I feel like you're my ride
Speaker 2: or die. Like literally we're riding and we're like just
Speaker 2: in the in the infinite universe.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're gonna leave our stamp somewhere along the way
Speaker 1: in the spaceship. Never seen this before, it's ours. Give
Speaker 1: me one of those stickers, give me one of those good.
Speaker 2: Monsters, put it here all right, keep going.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Yeah, Yeah, I think that's a great idea,
Speaker 1: is like being able to name the type of play
Speaker 1: you create in each space and then how you can
Speaker 1: cultivate that type of play even more in that space
Speaker 1: and yeah, creating more play in your life.
Speaker 2: And I think about people, even our friends or people listening,
Speaker 2: like you bitches seem like you play a lot and
Speaker 2: we do, and we do, and we have a lot
Speaker 2: of stories because we've been willing to, like do all
Speaker 2: the crazy shit, you know, Coachellas and ecstasies and mushrooms
Speaker 2: and cars with you know, strangers and all types of shit.
Speaker 2: But ultimately, I don't know, I just feel like even more,
Speaker 2: do it even more, like up and just being president
Speaker 2: and just like if you think we have juicy lives
Speaker 2: and we still feel like we need to play more,
Speaker 2: this is your sign you.
Speaker 1: Haven't done enough. I haven't done enough. Yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: feel that. Oh well, I love this. This is beautiful. Yes,
Speaker 1: thank you indulging me and playing the self love game.
Speaker 1: I think it's time to get out of here. I
Speaker 1: think it's twenty minutes to eight pm. Perfect.
Speaker 2: Well, you guys, you know where to find us. Good
Speaker 2: Mom's Underscore, Bad Choices on Instagram. You can find me
Speaker 2: Mila Underscore map with an.
Speaker 1: H You'll find me at watch Erica. Make sure you
Speaker 1: check all the links in this episode description. We're going
Speaker 1: on tour we're coming to your city. We're doing a
Speaker 1: Mother's Day retreat in May in Atlanta, and yeah, we
Speaker 1: just we be out. We be outside, so we'd be
Speaker 1: doing events with the people, with the community. And make
Speaker 1: sure you check out our Patreon. This season ends in March,
Speaker 1: and we're only going to be releasing full episodes during
Speaker 1: our off season on Patreon, so make sure you check
Speaker 1: out all of our Patreon offerings. And I Love you,
Speaker 1: I Love you, Love yourself, Love on yourself, play play Bye,
Speaker 1: I Love that soo.
Speaker 5: So is y Ellena j Solo baa record Elas