1
00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:01,960
Speaker 1: The Nicky Glizer Podcast.

2
00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:08,520
Speaker 2: Glaser pos.

3
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,080
Speaker 3: Here's Nikki.

4
00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:12,959
Speaker 1: Hello here, I am welcome to the show.

5
00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:17,200
Speaker 3: It's Nicki Glazer Podcast. This is our second one of

6
00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:21,120
Speaker 3: the week. Yeah it is. We might have something special.

7
00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:28,040
Speaker 3: Did anything that was my favorite thing that I did

8
00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:30,400
Speaker 3: on f Boy Island that I don't even know if

9
00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:32,240
Speaker 3: it aired, and I've talked about it here before, I think,

10
00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:36,919
Speaker 3: but it was like tonight you will face elimination and

11
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:40,720
Speaker 3: we want to know who is going to this that

12
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:42,760
Speaker 3: like I would just turn it. I would like morph

13
00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:47,479
Speaker 3: into that voice of like ahay all and people will

14
00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:48,879
Speaker 3: be like, what is she even saying? It was so

15
00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:52,600
Speaker 3: fun And I love doing that voice because it gets

16
00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:54,400
Speaker 3: you out of actually having to write a joke because

17
00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:57,400
Speaker 3: you just say jibberish and the jokes.

18
00:00:57,880 --> 00:00:59,880
Speaker 2: It's a satire of the art for.

19
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:02,160
Speaker 3: Sad.

20
00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:06,360
Speaker 2: What it's saying is nothing that I say.

21
00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:11,600
Speaker 3: It matters, yes, And I mean sometimes with comedy though,

22
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,320
Speaker 3: like you can just make a funny noise or funny

23
00:01:13,319 --> 00:01:16,120
Speaker 3: face and the joke doesn't have to be funny literally

24
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:19,080
Speaker 3: at all. But if you say it like and I

25
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:22,200
Speaker 3: under like, people are like, oh my god. Like sometimes

26
00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:24,760
Speaker 3: I'll do that with a joke. To just give it

27
00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:28,840
Speaker 3: some crutches to get across the street before it is

28
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:32,200
Speaker 3: ready to run on its own, because it's not funny yet.

29
00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:34,559
Speaker 2: That works for a time, and then if you don't

30
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,720
Speaker 2: back it up with actual material, you wind up getting backlash.

31
00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:39,360
Speaker 1: Or you can only do it once too.

32
00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:41,440
Speaker 3: You can't get that voice multiple times, and then people

33
00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:43,039
Speaker 3: catch on and then they start making fun of you.

34
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:45,399
Speaker 2: Imagine your whole set was like that.

35
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:47,240
Speaker 1: What were you gonna say about that voice?

36
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:47,760
Speaker 3: Sorry?

37
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,160
Speaker 2: Well, like I just remember that Dane Cook got flack

38
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,880
Speaker 2: for that in two thousand and four or whatever because

39
00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:56,120
Speaker 2: he would just it wasn't really voices, he would say

40
00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:56,720
Speaker 2: just words.

41
00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:00,880
Speaker 1: Strange just came up with a yeah.

42
00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:04,160
Speaker 3: They they decided that, oh, here is Dane Cook's trick.

43
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:05,920
Speaker 1: Now we're going to reveal it.

44
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:09,040
Speaker 3: And so you're not gonna be amazed by David Copperfield anymore.

45
00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:11,560
Speaker 3: Like here's how this guy is making you laugh. And

46
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,960
Speaker 3: guess what. Everyone has a fucking trick for every joke.

47
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:17,399
Speaker 3: And it was hilarious the way he said things. And yeah,

48
00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:20,919
Speaker 3: sometimes you the tool gets old and people grow accustomed

49
00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:22,959
Speaker 3: to it and you got to get a new one.

50
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,760
Speaker 1: But that when it was working, that was a Dane

51
00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:26,679
Speaker 1: Cook's way.

52
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,440
Speaker 3: Of like, what's an example of it, Brian, I'm I'll

53
00:02:29,639 --> 00:02:30,600
Speaker 3: definitely butcher it.

54
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:32,960
Speaker 2: I can't think of a specific one. But he has

55
00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:34,920
Speaker 2: this kool Aid joke where the guy where the kool

56
00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:36,160
Speaker 2: Aid Man bursts through.

57
00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:40,520
Speaker 3: That's hilarious because of that's because he's just saying the

58
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,280
Speaker 3: cooyman comes in and like destroys a person's house.

59
00:02:43,639 --> 00:02:48,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then he leaves an explain to my mom

60
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:51,320
Speaker 2: that there's a hole. They're gonna believe that a giant

61
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,880
Speaker 2: fruit punch man burst through the wall.

62
00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:57,240
Speaker 3: And the Family Guy did a thing like where they

63
00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,160
Speaker 3: did the cartoon of it where the he bursts in.

64
00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:00,760
Speaker 3: I just have a memory of him like kind of

65
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,520
Speaker 3: easing back out of the whole. Sorry, I kind of

66
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:04,960
Speaker 3: freaked out. I'm embarrassed.

67
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:08,200
Speaker 2: That's the thing about Family Guy and uh curse Seth

68
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:12,320
Speaker 2: MacFarlane for doing this. But Family Guy has done every

69
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,880
Speaker 2: joke that The Simpsons hasn't.

70
00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:18,359
Speaker 3: Done so and done everything.

71
00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:21,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you combine those two shows, there's no jokes left.

72
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:25,440
Speaker 3: Great, you know what, Great, I don't care you know

73
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,239
Speaker 3: what if we if you find it's like I was

74
00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:31,120
Speaker 3: reading an article because I'm trying to be smarter about

75
00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,400
Speaker 3: Like last night, I just really wanted to read about

76
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,400
Speaker 3: you know, j Loo and Bann or whatever, but instead

77
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:37,600
Speaker 3: I was like, there was something that piqued my interest

78
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:41,520
Speaker 3: about a paleontologist, like how paleontologists are guys that dig

79
00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:45,360
Speaker 3: up dinosaur bones and women are generally like kind of sociopaths.

80
00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:48,720
Speaker 4: Wait a minute, like they dig up women or dinosaur bones.

81
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,320
Speaker 3: Women's dinosaur women dinosaur bones only.

82
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:52,840
Speaker 2: Yes they can.

83
00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:57,320
Speaker 3: They have smaller brains, yes, high heels and they have

84
00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:02,600
Speaker 3: bunions from high heels. Yeah, So they're notoriously like kind

85
00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:07,400
Speaker 3: of crazy people and they're really good. Yeah. Well, I

86
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,640
Speaker 3: mean I know it's but it doesn't sound like to me.

87
00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:11,480
Speaker 3: I would just be like, oh, that's a really measured

88
00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:13,760
Speaker 3: scientist who's very meticulous and takes a lot of time

89
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:17,160
Speaker 3: with their work. I'm also reading about rock climbers. I'm

90
00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:19,320
Speaker 3: reading this book that a bestie recommended called The Color

91
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,560
Speaker 3: of Everything, and it's about a guy who is a

92
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:26,719
Speaker 3: photojournalist that covered the world of climbing. I forget his name.

93
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:28,440
Speaker 3: I'm such a piece of shit. No, will you look

94
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,520
Speaker 3: it up? This guy. It's called The Color of Everything.

95
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,880
Speaker 3: It's a really popular book and I'm loving it. So

96
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:37,919
Speaker 3: to the bestie who wrote to Anya about Corey Richards book,

97
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,960
Speaker 3: Corey Richards, Yeah, he's like this hot dude that was

98
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:44,240
Speaker 3: like a rock climber and then also was in like

99
00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:46,039
Speaker 3: rehab when he was like a runaway kid and he

100
00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:48,440
Speaker 3: had all He writes, he's a frost name life, but

101
00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:51,120
Speaker 3: he's they are nuts, but so are paleontologists. So I

102
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:54,120
Speaker 3: got halfway through this New Yorker article, which I really recommend.

103
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,839
Speaker 1: It's from like it's from a long time ago.

104
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,520
Speaker 3: But I was on a subreddit about this paleontologist feud

105
00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:01,640
Speaker 3: that's happening. There's a New York Maga article about this

106
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:07,200
Speaker 3: guy and another girl, uh, who are excavating this site

107
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:11,400
Speaker 3: that might be a snapshot of when the asteroid hit

108
00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:15,120
Speaker 3: the Earth and destroyed all the dinosaurs, like whenever you

109
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,440
Speaker 3: know it hit in the Yucatan Peninsula, but it's up

110
00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:20,560
Speaker 3: in Montana, I think, I believe. And he found this

111
00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:22,760
Speaker 3: site and he was like an amateur paleontologist, like he

112
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,240
Speaker 3: worked for the University of Kansas as like an he

113
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:28,520
Speaker 3: was like in grad school there and he didn't have

114
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:31,080
Speaker 3: he wasn't even like he was just on this dig

115
00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:35,000
Speaker 3: he found this this property that this guy had, and

116
00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:38,200
Speaker 3: he sees all these fish are like in this one

117
00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:41,599
Speaker 3: sediment of layer, the sediment of the earth, you know,

118
00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:44,280
Speaker 3: like a thin layer that was around where that thing

119
00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:46,680
Speaker 3: would have hit. And he goes in and he looks

120
00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:49,080
Speaker 3: at these crystals that are but like the fish just

121
00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:51,200
Speaker 3: look like they're in regular gravel or silt or whatever

122
00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:54,160
Speaker 3: is deposited there. Generally during that time that all the

123
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,640
Speaker 3: paleontologists are like, yawn, we're used to this. But then

124
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,640
Speaker 3: he looks at under the microscope and he's like, these

125
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:02,000
Speaker 3: are crystals that are the result of an asteroid falling

126
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:06,120
Speaker 3: and then shooting like a volcanic spewing lava into the air,

127
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:08,760
Speaker 3: and then it's falling back to Earth, it crystallizes and

128
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:12,360
Speaker 3: it shed this crystal all over the place. But this

129
00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:16,599
Speaker 3: article that was linked in the subreddit, So anyway, the

130
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,840
Speaker 3: New York Magazine article came out yesterday. I was reading

131
00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:22,000
Speaker 3: the comments of that on the Instagram. People were talking

132
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:25,240
Speaker 3: about the article itself, and someone said, actually, the best

133
00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:27,880
Speaker 3: article about this same guy who's in this feud with

134
00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:29,920
Speaker 3: this woman over this land. It's an interesting I haven't

135
00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:33,120
Speaker 3: read the magazine one. But in the comments, this woman said.

136
00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:35,839
Speaker 3: This guy was also featured in a New Yorker magazine

137
00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:40,400
Speaker 3: article called The Year the World Died. And so I

138
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,560
Speaker 3: go to my New Yorker app, but I'm like, I

139
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:43,240
Speaker 3: want to read that, Like that just sounds interesting. The

140
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,920
Speaker 3: Year the World Died all about this when the asteroid hit,

141
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,320
Speaker 3: which they only found in nineteen ninety one. They found

142
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:52,080
Speaker 3: the spot where the asteroid that destroyed dinosaurs on Earth

143
00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:55,359
Speaker 3: and brought about the ice age. They found it in

144
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:58,920
Speaker 3: the Yucatan Peninsula only in nineteen ninety one.

145
00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:01,800
Speaker 1: So, and if you're Christian, disregard all of this.

146
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,320
Speaker 3: Just go ahead, because these are so God planted all

147
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:07,719
Speaker 3: these mysteries for us to solve and to question, to

148
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:11,200
Speaker 3: test our faith. So in nineteen onety one they discover

149
00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:15,480
Speaker 3: this asteroid that tested our faith in Jesus. But anyway,

150
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:18,520
Speaker 3: so this guy, you you read this New york Er

151
00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:21,360
Speaker 3: it's it says that it gives you the option for

152
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,120
Speaker 3: it to be read to you. I don't know if

153
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:26,600
Speaker 3: you guys have those on your Oh I never do that,

154
00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:28,920
Speaker 3: but I always know how long it's going to take me. Now,

155
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,800
Speaker 3: because it said sixty three minutes, I go to read

156
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,480
Speaker 3: a wow, I go, how long is it? So I

157
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,160
Speaker 3: scroll and I go, I think I can probably do

158
00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,559
Speaker 3: this in about thirty five. Like I'm a pretty fast reader,

159
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:42,720
Speaker 3: I have to say, But I really am. And I

160
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:45,040
Speaker 3: am a fast reader because I've like showed Chris things

161
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:46,760
Speaker 3: and we both looked at the same paragraph and he

162
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:51,000
Speaker 3: is very well read, like extremely smart, and he's a

163
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:53,440
Speaker 3: more measured person. But I get through it and I

164
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,040
Speaker 3: got to say half the time. And it's not because

165
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:57,680
Speaker 3: he's like, it's not that hard to read fast. It's

166
00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:02,400
Speaker 3: hard to absorb what yours. It's not bad. I actually

167
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,920
Speaker 3: got a app on my phone called Elevate that I

168
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:07,640
Speaker 3: did a seven day free trial for and it was

169
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,080
Speaker 3: I was having a lot of fun with it, and

170
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:10,960
Speaker 3: I was like, oh my god, I'm learning new vocabulary.

171
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,480
Speaker 3: It was marketed to me as learning new vocabulary. Are

172
00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,640
Speaker 3: you sick of sounding stupid? Like It's one of my

173
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,720
Speaker 3: biggest pet peeves about myself is I can't find interesting

174
00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:21,520
Speaker 3: words when I want to go yeah. And I listened

175
00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:24,480
Speaker 3: to Sam Harris or even Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang

176
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:28,120
Speaker 3: like on their podcast they are constantly using really just

177
00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:32,400
Speaker 3: grate vocabulary that isn't like pretentious, but it definitely elevates

178
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:36,520
Speaker 3: the conversation and makes what they're saying more interesting because

179
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,560
Speaker 3: I they're just putting you know. That's that's what's good

180
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,360
Speaker 3: about using different words is it will give more meaning

181
00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,199
Speaker 3: to the word you're trying to say it like Pepper's

182
00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:46,760
Speaker 3: it with seasons, it with other feelings that you have.

183
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:51,640
Speaker 3: So sad, you could say another word that I can't

184
00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:52,880
Speaker 3: think of, Like, so this was the app.

185
00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:53,680
Speaker 1: It was just like sad.

186
00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:55,400
Speaker 3: And then it was like type tip type of syn

187
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,240
Speaker 3: in them and you have to You're like Maria can think,

188
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,800
Speaker 3: oh my god, they would have loved morose. They would

189
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,840
Speaker 3: have given and you like a triple score for that

190
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:04,200
Speaker 3: because they would have all the synonyms listed and they go,

191
00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:06,320
Speaker 3: oh easy one and they give you one star, you know,

192
00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:09,079
Speaker 3: a two star whatever kind of stamp. But then it

193
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:11,840
Speaker 3: started give me repeat ones within two games, like the

194
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:14,600
Speaker 3: same words, and I'm like, I can cheat now, like

195
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:17,680
Speaker 3: I know you want the same ras or insidious or whatever.

196
00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,280
Speaker 2: They don't have enough of a database, yeah.

197
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,000
Speaker 1: And they need more of one.

198
00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:22,640
Speaker 3: So I canceled it because I was gonna I was

199
00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:26,280
Speaker 3: gonna let it fly and spend forty dollars a year

200
00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:27,559
Speaker 3: for this because I was like, this is going to

201
00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,800
Speaker 3: be my brain training thing because I felt it working.

202
00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:32,160
Speaker 3: It felt like the kind of improv game you were

203
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,240
Speaker 3: talking about, Brian that like gets your mind, just like

204
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:36,480
Speaker 3: Bag of Fun. It was like Bag of Fun, but

205
00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:38,760
Speaker 3: for specific words that you need to express.

206
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:40,280
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I kind of want to try this

207
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:43,480
Speaker 2: because that's my my Yeah. I mean, it's the bane

208
00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,040
Speaker 2: of my existence is not being able to recall words,

209
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,520
Speaker 2: and it strikes me with fear every time I can

210
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:50,760
Speaker 2: do it, because I think my brain is starting to decay.

211
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:52,880
Speaker 3: Wait, you think it's getting worse. Decay is a really

212
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:55,200
Speaker 3: good word, by the way, Do you think it's getting

213
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:57,560
Speaker 3: worse or do you have you always felt this way?

214
00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,320
Speaker 3: Because I will say that I think mine is also

215
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:03,120
Speaker 3: getting worse. But I also think that because I'm consuming

216
00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:05,320
Speaker 3: people that I really admire who I know are within

217
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:09,480
Speaker 3: my same intelligence. Not Sam Harris and possibly not Matt

218
00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:12,640
Speaker 3: Rogers and Bowen Yang. They're so intelligent, but I feel

219
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,320
Speaker 3: like they are at least like I can reach what

220
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:15,800
Speaker 3: I want to do what they are doing, and I

221
00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:18,680
Speaker 3: know I could reach it. I just know, and I

222
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:20,680
Speaker 3: aspire to that. So I'm kind of like down on

223
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:22,840
Speaker 3: myself a lot about it. Is it something you found

224
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:24,680
Speaker 3: that you have always wanted to do or is it

225
00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:25,480
Speaker 3: slipping away now?

226
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:29,240
Speaker 2: Well? No, it's I feel like it's it's related to stress.

227
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,920
Speaker 2: Like the more stressed I am, the worse my recall is.

228
00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:35,000
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I mean the more stress you are, the

229
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,000
Speaker 3: more everything sucks.

230
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:37,240
Speaker 2: No, everything sucks? Yeah?

231
00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:41,320
Speaker 3: Does anything get better from stress? Um, your cortisol level

232
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,160
Speaker 3: is like fu, yeah, we're killing Well, if you want

233
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:45,000
Speaker 3: to die soon.

234
00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:48,280
Speaker 1: Sure, yeah, okay, suicide if.

235
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,080
Speaker 2: You want, If you need to get something done really

236
00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:53,680
Speaker 2: quickly by a deadline, stress can be helpful. A small

237
00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:56,440
Speaker 2: amount of stress is helpful. It's just wanting to evade

238
00:10:56,440 --> 00:11:00,000
Speaker 2: an accumulates over time and becomes chronic. Then it becomes

239
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,319
Speaker 2: a huge detriment to every part of your life.

240
00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:04,280
Speaker 3: Dude, I was thinking about it, and I know this

241
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:07,560
Speaker 3: is so simple and been said a million times, but like,

242
00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:09,320
Speaker 3: and maybe I said it on the podcast before because

243
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,120
Speaker 3: I've told a couple of people this, but just having

244
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:16,480
Speaker 3: the realization of, like, why when things are totally smooth

245
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:21,199
Speaker 3: do I freak out? It's because we were never supposed

246
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:22,880
Speaker 3: to just be calm.

247
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:27,040
Speaker 1: When we were like animals.

248
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:29,320
Speaker 3: There was there's not a single You're not ever supposed

249
00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:32,440
Speaker 3: to really feel safe unless you're like, you know, hibernating

250
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:35,600
Speaker 3: or especially us. We was always if there was ever

251
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,640
Speaker 3: like a time where you felt like I have everything

252
00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:39,920
Speaker 3: I want, there was never that time because there was

253
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,640
Speaker 3: always food to be searched for. There was always hunger

254
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:45,360
Speaker 3: just around the corner. There was always something you should

255
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,880
Speaker 3: be doing. Honestly, it felt like working at a Latin

256
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,000
Speaker 3: cafe in college. He would always like, you should never

257
00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:52,120
Speaker 3: have a break. You could always be doing something, and

258
00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,480
Speaker 3: I'm like, that's that was that And I was like,

259
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,400
Speaker 3: but I don't want to wash the menus or what

260
00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,640
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, but there's always stuff to

261
00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:00,600
Speaker 3: be doing when you're an animal, and when we have

262
00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:03,520
Speaker 3: like time to like just relax, like that isn't built

263
00:12:03,559 --> 00:12:06,679
Speaker 3: into our DNA yet, I mean, but.

264
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:10,320
Speaker 2: It's definitely killing that stuff with useless like scrolling on

265
00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:11,719
Speaker 2: our phones and things like that.

266
00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:14,440
Speaker 3: Well, your brain wants to do something. It's panicking that

267
00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:17,440
Speaker 3: you are. If you're lazy, you are gonna fucking die

268
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:21,680
Speaker 3: because the winter's coming. I mean, it's it's no wonder kid.

269
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,720
Speaker 2: And then that takes up all your time and then

270
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,360
Speaker 2: you don't have any like you don't have any.

271
00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:28,160
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, having a kid is also that biological urge

272
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,400
Speaker 3: that that comes in. Noah, what were you gonna say?

273
00:12:30,679 --> 00:12:33,520
Speaker 4: I was gonna say, it's also a way to appreciate

274
00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:37,080
Speaker 4: the privileges that we have that people like hundreds of

275
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:38,599
Speaker 4: thousands of years ago didn't have.

276
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:40,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh my god.

277
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:42,199
Speaker 4: And at the same at the same time, I was

278
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:44,559
Speaker 4: going to say, we have a lot of cottontail rabbits

279
00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:47,360
Speaker 4: around here, and whenever I look at them out the window,

280
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,200
Speaker 4: you just see this rabbit just like constantly just going

281
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:54,360
Speaker 4: like is there anyone here? And like you could actually

282
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:56,920
Speaker 4: see its heart just like yeah, pumping, even when he's

283
00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:58,880
Speaker 4: sitting still in the in the ground.

284
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:03,079
Speaker 3: On goodness like that. Yeah, yeah, some of us are,

285
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:05,840
Speaker 3: though we know people like that, right. And Chris, sometimes

286
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:07,440
Speaker 3: when the dog sleeps in our bed, he will have

287
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,040
Speaker 3: a bad night's sleep because the dog will be on

288
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,200
Speaker 3: him and he doesn't want to move because he doesn't

289
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:13,080
Speaker 3: want the So Chris will have like a bed sore

290
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,920
Speaker 3: because he doesn't want to disturb this dog.

291
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:17,440
Speaker 1: And he had a bad night's sleep the other night.

292
00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:21,160
Speaker 3: And I said to Chris, I go you. You can't

293
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:22,800
Speaker 3: do this to yourself. He's like, I know, and I

294
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:25,920
Speaker 3: go listen to me. Listen to me. These dogs. Have

295
00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,640
Speaker 3: you seen our dog. She can be deep in sleep

296
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:31,000
Speaker 3: her like she's running in her sleep, having a dream,

297
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:33,680
Speaker 3: deep in ram her eyes are going wild, and then

298
00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:36,040
Speaker 3: a slight set the door. She'll hear something out in

299
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:37,480
Speaker 3: the door, and then she'll get up and like run

300
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:39,600
Speaker 3: to the door and then go back over and get

301
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:42,640
Speaker 3: right back into that sleep. That is the that's the thing.

302
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:45,439
Speaker 3: Animals don't suffer. When they can get rest, they get

303
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,840
Speaker 3: it quickly. They don't need to like listen to a

304
00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:52,200
Speaker 3: meditation app like dogs can. So they as much as

305
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:55,160
Speaker 3: they are like skittish, I think that when there is

306
00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:57,880
Speaker 3: rest to be had, they can absolutely grab it in

307
00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,560
Speaker 3: that moment. They don't need to like met Kate or

308
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:05,040
Speaker 3: you know, find melotonin. And in nature, you.

309
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:10,720
Speaker 2: Can over coddle yourself with these corrective tools to you know,

310
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,200
Speaker 2: go to sleep or to make yourself feel more comfortable.

311
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,719
Speaker 2: And you wind up just becoming soft and weak, and

312
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:20,160
Speaker 2: you just require you become soft.

313
00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:22,120
Speaker 3: And we no, you're right. You require too many things.

314
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:23,880
Speaker 2: You're just like all of a sudden, you need all

315
00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:25,920
Speaker 2: of these things just to feel normal.

316
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:28,840
Speaker 3: No, I need a cold room. It has been so

317
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:30,840
Speaker 3: hot in Saint Louis that my cold room that I

318
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,040
Speaker 3: don't even want to leave this apartment building because of

319
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,920
Speaker 3: how cold I can get the fucking room. I mean

320
00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:38,320
Speaker 3: my ideal temperature if I could pick one to sleep

321
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,120
Speaker 3: with at night. And I'm not joking. We had this

322
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:43,760
Speaker 3: conversation over the weekend. Fifty eight degrees would be my deal.

323
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,360
Speaker 3: Now it does not get down to that in my room, obviously,

324
00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:49,440
Speaker 3: U sixty two is what I set the thing for,

325
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:50,960
Speaker 3: and it will get down to sixty two.

326
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,560
Speaker 1: And yes, a big blanket to get under.

327
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:57,720
Speaker 3: I love it. I love it that, but it's seventy degrees. Yeah, No,

328
00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:59,880
Speaker 3: you're right. Camping does appeal to me for that, but

329
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,000
Speaker 3: I don't want it. I want it cold in our

330
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:06,400
Speaker 3: in our tent then yeah wow. And I also don't

331
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,320
Speaker 3: want to get eaten or attacked by a bear in

332
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:10,000
Speaker 3: the middle of the night. That's also something that prevents

333
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:10,760
Speaker 3: me from getting like that.

334
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,080
Speaker 2: I'll solve your other problem of you know, you're supposed

335
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:14,480
Speaker 2: to be constantly on edge.

336
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:15,600
Speaker 3: That's a good point.

337
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:17,520
Speaker 2: Camping sounds amazing for you.

338
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:21,400
Speaker 3: Well, I've open to it. I am open. I literally

339
00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:23,560
Speaker 3: am open to it. After I went to Kellen's backyard

340
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:25,840
Speaker 3: and saw Michigan and was like, I kind of like outdoor,

341
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:27,760
Speaker 3: like this is this is a vibe. I kind of

342
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,720
Speaker 3: want to get and just go in that lake and float.

343
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:32,440
Speaker 3: But I will say that I now need a sleep mask.

344
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:34,760
Speaker 3: I need sixty two degrees. I need like a comforter

345
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:36,720
Speaker 3: that's I need a top sheet. I will not just

346
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:39,400
Speaker 3: sleep with a comforter. Like I need a special pillow

347
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,040
Speaker 3: that is satin and cradles my face like it's my pillow.

348
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:43,880
Speaker 3: And if I don't have it, I really don't, Like

349
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,520
Speaker 3: I'm such a pussy. I need a big T shirt

350
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,640
Speaker 3: and underwear I don't. I do not want pajamas. I

351
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,640
Speaker 3: do not want. I cannot sleep in long sleeves, I

352
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:54,360
Speaker 3: cannot sleep in a song. And I will not sleep

353
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,640
Speaker 3: with no underwear. And I my sister when we were

354
00:15:57,640 --> 00:15:59,920
Speaker 3: in Vienna did not have any underwear because we were

355
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,680
Speaker 3: our bags were stuck or whatever, and she had to

356
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:04,680
Speaker 3: sleep with no underwear one night and she got a

357
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:07,760
Speaker 3: horrible night's sleep and we decided later on we were talking,

358
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,400
Speaker 3: she was like, yeah, I had to sleep with no underwear.

359
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:10,800
Speaker 3: She goes, I think that's why I couldn't sleep, and

360
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:14,360
Speaker 3: I go, that is why it's hell to sleep with

361
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:15,920
Speaker 3: no underwear for me.

362
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:17,000
Speaker 2: No, it's shocked.

363
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:18,840
Speaker 1: NO likes it.

364
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:22,160
Speaker 3: I don't want my vagina slipping around. And for some

365
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,640
Speaker 3: reason I don't have underwear and I'm sleeping, my vagina

366
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:27,920
Speaker 3: gets sweaty, I think, or it gets sweaty. And you

367
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:30,120
Speaker 3: know when you think, it's like you forget toyoder it

368
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,240
Speaker 3: and your pit starts sweating. Like that's what my vagina

369
00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:35,560
Speaker 3: does when it doesn't have protection. I cannot have a

370
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:37,680
Speaker 3: nude vigin. I don't like it. Now there's not stuff

371
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:39,080
Speaker 3: hanging out. I don't have to keep it all in.

372
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:42,120
Speaker 3: That's not what I'm saying. It's even when it's tucked up.

373
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:46,440
Speaker 2: I don't layer of fabric is enough to protect you

374
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:46,960
Speaker 2: from whatever.

375
00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:51,360
Speaker 1: It's not even what's going to attack my vagina.

376
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,800
Speaker 3: I just don't. I just feel gross.

377
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:57,600
Speaker 2: Yeah no, yeah, you don't want that bear fluids and

378
00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:59,920
Speaker 2: as you so you're going to go back, you know,

379
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:01,440
Speaker 2: cleaning your sheets every day.

380
00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:02,760
Speaker 1: No, I definitely am not.

381
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,560
Speaker 3: No, I'm def so that's a good point, but I

382
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,880
Speaker 3: will I do recommend reading this article just to get

383
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:10,240
Speaker 3: back to it, because it just talks you through what

384
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:13,679
Speaker 3: happened physically to our planet when it got slammed into

385
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:18,600
Speaker 3: by like a twenty mile long asteroid. And it's just like,

386
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,919
Speaker 3: I just want to see. I'm sure there's YouTube videos

387
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:23,720
Speaker 3: of it, but I just want to It's so nuts

388
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,120
Speaker 3: to hear what happened. It's like ninety nine point nine

389
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:29,320
Speaker 3: nine nine nine percent of biological life died on the

390
00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:33,040
Speaker 3: planet almost instantly. It's like vulk like. But before that,

391
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:36,080
Speaker 3: dinosaurs were kind of they predict dinosaurs were kind of

392
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:38,080
Speaker 3: on their way out. They were almost extinct when the

393
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:41,479
Speaker 3: asteroid hit. Isn't that kind of crazy? Yes, I mean

394
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:44,399
Speaker 3: they could have been going no arms, I mean and

395
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:49,160
Speaker 3: then oh there was a discussion about, oh, we're well

396
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,320
Speaker 3: they had to start over. I know that everything had

397
00:17:51,359 --> 00:17:53,080
Speaker 3: to start over. Is a big reset.

398
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,000
Speaker 2: Well, there are some that survived. They were they're like

399
00:17:55,119 --> 00:17:58,159
Speaker 2: very specific creatures that survived, most of them underwater, and

400
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:03,600
Speaker 2: then yeah, they became birds. There's one, I believe there's one.

401
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:07,120
Speaker 2: There's one type of sea creature that survived. I mean,

402
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:08,640
Speaker 2: sharks have been around for a long time, but there's

403
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:11,320
Speaker 2: one type of sea creature that has survived since that

404
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:13,040
Speaker 2: time really evolved.

405
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:15,560
Speaker 3: I didn't get through the whole thing, but I am like,

406
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:16,680
Speaker 3: I got to read Sapiens.

407
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:16,919
Speaker 2: I think.

408
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,399
Speaker 1: I think that's where all of this answer.

409
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:19,960
Speaker 2: That's a real slog.

410
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:23,959
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know. I started the summer. It felt like

411
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:28,040
Speaker 3: spark notes for like a for all every single social

412
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:31,679
Speaker 3: studies book you had. Yeah, spark notes are even too

413
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,320
Speaker 3: long sometimes. Okay, we got to go to break. I'll

414
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,000
Speaker 3: come back right back after this, and we're going to

415
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:38,159
Speaker 3: talk about the big, big announcement, which I'm sure you

416
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,119
Speaker 3: all saw the Golden Globes right after this.

417
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:45,639
Speaker 1: All Right, we're back. It's announced this morning.

418
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,000
Speaker 2: Unbelievable, unbelievable.

419
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:52,560
Speaker 3: I can't can I toasting the eighty second Golden Globes

420
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,080
Speaker 3: annual Annual Golden Globes.

421
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,600
Speaker 2: I think I know what Noah's going to say, Well.

422
00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,240
Speaker 4: I was going to say, I cannot believe. Okay, here's

423
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,560
Speaker 4: a little humble brag. I feel like I know a

424
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:05,399
Speaker 4: lot of Nikky's secret things that are coming up. I

425
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:06,480
Speaker 4: had no idea.

426
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:11,119
Speaker 3: No one knew. My assistant, my closest person who's in

427
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:15,199
Speaker 3: my calendar, in my like, she's in everything. She didn't know. Emily,

428
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,640
Speaker 3: my social media girl, she didn't know. She's the one

429
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,440
Speaker 3: that had to like post like help me post about

430
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:22,600
Speaker 3: her whatever, and she's like, what, like, no one knew?

431
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:25,160
Speaker 3: The only crazy you know? I was just I didn't

432
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,119
Speaker 3: want to lose it and I'm tired of being a

433
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:31,439
Speaker 3: little yapper. Is what we're getting called. Chris did know

434
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,800
Speaker 3: because he was in the car when I got the

435
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,919
Speaker 3: call and I answered the call them knowing he was

436
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,760
Speaker 3: in the car. They were fine with him knowing because

437
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:40,800
Speaker 3: they figure, you're gonna tell your It was just my

438
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:44,560
Speaker 3: agent and manager and then and they were the first ones.

439
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,120
Speaker 3: It was like, I'm probably not even supposed to reveal

440
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,879
Speaker 3: how it goes down, but I'm if this is.

441
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:52,760
Speaker 4: That's it the d I mean, can we talk like

442
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,320
Speaker 4: a little bit about what it felt like to get

443
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:54,880
Speaker 4: the announcement?

444
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:59,320
Speaker 3: Stuff like, yeah, it felt that well, I've known about

445
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,600
Speaker 3: it for a little bit, but I didn't know it

446
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,840
Speaker 3: was like one hundred percent happening until a couple of

447
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,119
Speaker 3: days ago. But I knew it might be happening and

448
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:10,199
Speaker 3: was maybe like ninety nine percent sure happening for a

449
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:12,840
Speaker 3: little bit, but didn't know one hundred percent until like

450
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,200
Speaker 3: you know yesterday and then I honestly, the show is

451
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,760
Speaker 3: January fifth. I didn't think they would tell people till December.

452
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,680
Speaker 3: So I just thought I had to keep this secret

453
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,720
Speaker 3: from everyone in my life. And I literally listen in

454
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:25,119
Speaker 3: the past, I've got booked on things, and I'm sorry,

455
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:28,240
Speaker 3: Dancing with the Stars. My best friend's knew before it

456
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:31,600
Speaker 3: was announced on ABC Good Morning America. You want to

457
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:35,159
Speaker 3: assume me now, I don't know that statute is probably

458
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:36,760
Speaker 3: up at this point. I think it's seven years. Oh shit,

459
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,639
Speaker 3: I'm still in it. But yeah, you tell people you're

460
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,800
Speaker 3: their close knit. But this is like so big that

461
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,399
Speaker 3: I was like, I can't if I stupidly tell the

462
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:45,280
Speaker 3: wrong person.

463
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,640
Speaker 1: And it would be my fault.

464
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:48,240
Speaker 3: I wouldn't even be mad at them, you know, Like,

465
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,399
Speaker 3: I just can't risk this. It's all up to me

466
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,560
Speaker 3: to keep this in. So I didn't tell anyone. Chris knew,

467
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:56,920
Speaker 3: and my parents knew. But I only told my parents yesterday,

468
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 3: and I really put the fear of God in them,

469
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,080
Speaker 3: like they weren't even talking to each other about it

470
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:05,199
Speaker 3: and they both know. And then I whispered it to

471
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:09,480
Speaker 3: my sister during a pilates class. But that was what

472
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,440
Speaker 3: it was. She was the first person I told. I'm

473
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,200
Speaker 3: sorry to everyone who told me not to tell anyone.

474
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:14,919
Speaker 3: You know, you got to tell your personal family. You

475
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,880
Speaker 3: tell your family too. And my family they're in Saint Louis.

476
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:21,879
Speaker 3: They're not connected to the biz, and they also seriously

477
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,320
Speaker 3: depend on me making millions of dollars, so they're not

478
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,520
Speaker 3: gonna tell book at any They know it would jeopardize it,

479
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,119
Speaker 3: uh because yeah, their kids want to go to college.

480
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:34,800
Speaker 3: So anyway, Yeah, I last night, all of a sudden,

481
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 3: they were like, the announcement's coming tomorrow, and I was like,

482
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:39,120
Speaker 3: I literally didn't think it would be till November or December.

483
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:42,800
Speaker 3: So it was really that's exciting because, as I've said before,

484
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:46,080
Speaker 3: the announcements always like the most exciting part of anything

485
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:48,439
Speaker 3: because you don't it's no work, you know.

486
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:49,080
Speaker 2: Let's get that.

487
00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:52,639
Speaker 3: I had Chris, and I wrote a statement that I

488
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:55,720
Speaker 3: had to because there's a press release and they want

489
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:57,440
Speaker 3: a quote from you. So we worked for like an

490
00:21:57,440 --> 00:21:59,919
Speaker 3: hour on a quote, which was a little long, like

491
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:01,680
Speaker 3: got to the point where Chris was like, well, let's

492
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:04,200
Speaker 3: reconsider this, and I go, I don't think I want

493
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:06,000
Speaker 3: to work on this anymore. I think it's just gonna

494
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,439
Speaker 3: have to be good as it is. And that's like

495
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:10,680
Speaker 3: an interesting place to hit where you're like, we haven't

496
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:13,240
Speaker 3: nailed it. It's not like perfect because it's not like

497
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:15,440
Speaker 3: what I would want on my tombstone. It's in terms

498
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,800
Speaker 3: of a quote, but you have to determine if you're

499
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:22,199
Speaker 3: going to be a perfectionist about everything. Yeah, it was

500
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:24,600
Speaker 3: you just go, Okay, this is a quote that most

501
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,080
Speaker 3: people won't even get to because press releases aren't really

502
00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:30,600
Speaker 3: red and full by most people. And yes, I wanted

503
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 3: to be kind of funny, but like, I don't need

504
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:33,880
Speaker 3: to devote more than an hour to this. An hour

505
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:37,240
Speaker 3: already seems way too much and if you overthink something

506
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:39,440
Speaker 3: too much, it can get worse. So I just said, okay, job,

507
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:40,679
Speaker 3: letting go true.

508
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he looked at it.

509
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 3: Was an interesting moment because you know, we're like creative collaborators,

510
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:49,600
Speaker 3: and his mo is to really make something as best

511
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:51,280
Speaker 3: as it could be. And I was like, he goes,

512
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,399
Speaker 3: so I think maybe we send it to this person.

513
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 3: And I go, I actually think I'm done working on it,

514
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:58,560
Speaker 3: and he's like, but it's and I and we just

515
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,000
Speaker 3: kind of looked at each other like and he's like okay,

516
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:03,480
Speaker 3: like he just he knew I was at my limit,

517
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,439
Speaker 3: and uh we decided to move on. But yeah, so

518
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,440
Speaker 3: that that's just the start of it though, and then

519
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,520
Speaker 3: and then the announcement went out, and then this morning

520
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:14,800
Speaker 3: the quote on my and you have to like put

521
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:16,480
Speaker 3: a quote on your Instagram and they have to like

522
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:18,720
Speaker 3: people approve it. I don't know if they approve it

523
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,600
Speaker 3: or someone was approving it, maybe my team and my

524
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:24,120
Speaker 3: quote was I like did it this morning? I woke

525
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:25,520
Speaker 3: up and they're like, okay, we're good to go with this,

526
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:27,119
Speaker 3: and I was like, I hate that kind of and

527
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,639
Speaker 3: I like kind of freaked out, and I wrote some

528
00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:31,679
Speaker 3: friends being like what what's the best And then I

529
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:34,560
Speaker 3: had to tell that person, Hey, I'm hosting the Golden Globes.

530
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:36,520
Speaker 3: It's being announced in one minute. Can you help me

531
00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,800
Speaker 3: think of a caption? And so we spitballed, and then

532
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:40,639
Speaker 3: we just came up with a joke about my tits

533
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:43,280
Speaker 3: being golden, and I was just like, okay, why not,

534
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 3: you know what, It's an Instagram caption and it did

535
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,000
Speaker 3: make me laugh, even though it seemed like the obvious joke.

536
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 3: So that's and then and then within minutes text message

537
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,920
Speaker 3: of like it being posted, who's dming you?

538
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:57,320
Speaker 1: Like the first person to text you.

539
00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:58,760
Speaker 3: I just want to give a shout out to the

540
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:02,960
Speaker 3: first person who is must get alerts from Variety Magazine

541
00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:06,840
Speaker 3: on their phoners. Actually, she did text me three times

542
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 3: asking for money in the thirty seconds after it got posted. Nick,

543
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:14,240
Speaker 3: we've asked six times. Now they're starting to count the

544
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:16,800
Speaker 3: number of times they've asked. Yeah, they're getting like gonna

545
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 3: mean at me. But it was Kevin Clancy from KFC Radio,

546
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:25,040
Speaker 3: who is always such an avid supporter of mine, one

547
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:28,040
Speaker 3: of my favorite people to podcasts with, and uh just

548
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:30,439
Speaker 3: one of honestly one of my favorite people. So funny,

549
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:33,160
Speaker 3: so nice, always been really supportive. I think he's so hilarious,

550
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 3: So that meant a lot. And then it was like,

551
00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:40,919
Speaker 3: you know who was my agent's all on a text together.

552
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:44,959
Speaker 3: And then it's like Mike Kaplan producers I've worked with

553
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:48,919
Speaker 3: in the past, Chris's brother, Rick Glassman, Greg Warren, Ari Finling,

554
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:52,840
Speaker 3: Jackie Kashin, my two makeup artists that I've worked with,

555
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 3: Travis Kelsey's agent, Micah Fox, Matt Rogers. Shout out to

556
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:01,640
Speaker 3: Matt Rodgers, who got my number. I'm such I've become

557
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,400
Speaker 3: such an insane fan of Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang

558
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 3: since last cultuesas I've always loved them, but it's like

559
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:11,400
Speaker 3: I'm getting a little bit obsessive, almost like did you

560
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:12,119
Speaker 3: can't me?

561
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,800
Speaker 4: I was like, Alm, did you hear Matt?

562
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:15,000
Speaker 2: Oh?

563
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, I watched his whole Christmas special that he's amazing.

564
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:21,040
Speaker 3: He's so talented. I'm obsessed. But he texted me being

565
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:23,120
Speaker 3: like it's Matt Rogers and I'm like, oh my god.

566
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,919
Speaker 3: And then I asked I straight up was like the

567
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:28,199
Speaker 3: only thing I went from this Golden Globes is a

568
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,960
Speaker 3: chance to maybe present at the Culture Awards next year.

569
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:33,399
Speaker 3: And they said, you're booked, and I don't know if

570
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:35,160
Speaker 3: I can announce that, but I think they probably will

571
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 3: on their podcast. But I am doing the Culture Awards.

572
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:41,560
Speaker 3: I will be presenting there. But which is an award

573
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:44,479
Speaker 3: show that their podcast puts on. It's so fucking funny.

574
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:49,600
Speaker 3: Renee co Tier, Andrew Collins, Stacy Wardrobe from Foil and

575
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:54,760
Speaker 3: Tyler Florence, Emil Joachim Ryan, my social media guy, uh

576
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:56,680
Speaker 3: a producer that I used to work with at Conan.

577
00:25:56,760 --> 00:26:00,919
Speaker 3: I mean, my guy the head of comedy that flicks

578
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 3: so many people Brian uh and Noah, you said a

579
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:08,159
Speaker 3: nice thing, thanks for posting on your stories. Everyone's just

580
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 3: so nice and excited and and yeah a lot.

581
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:14,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's an incredible cat.

582
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:19,159
Speaker 3: Yeah. He he's always a really you know, there's some

583
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,200
Speaker 3: people that you always hear from when there's good stuff

584
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:22,400
Speaker 3: going on, and he's one of them.

585
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 2: Now, let's name the people who didn't reach out. Yo.

586
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, let me get to that list, because I'm already

587
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:30,560
Speaker 3: compiling it. Mom.

588
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,480
Speaker 4: No, she definitely wrote out. I wrote to me, what

589
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 4: did your parents say? I know they were so loud,

590
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:38,560
Speaker 4: but my god, they go.

591
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 3: Mom goes, that woman just heard you because we were

592
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 3: like at a restaurant and I whispered and I'm like, no,

593
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:46,879
Speaker 3: she didn't. She's watching the DNC on her phone. She goes, No,

594
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,200
Speaker 3: they hurt you. Guys should have seen these two people.

595
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,640
Speaker 3: There's no way they heard. There's no way they would

596
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:53,840
Speaker 3: care or even know what that was. They were like

597
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 3: actively talking and watching the DNC on their phones at

598
00:26:56,600 --> 00:27:00,880
Speaker 3: a restaurant loudly, like they weren't listening. They they weren't

599
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:03,080
Speaker 3: a where anyone was near them, let alone conversations were

600
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,600
Speaker 3: happening that they could, but my mom goes they hurt,

601
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 3: and then I started getting paranoid and I'm like, no,

602
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:10,320
Speaker 3: I shouldn't be. They did not, but she was just

603
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:13,119
Speaker 3: like they're so proud. They're just like we can't believe it.

604
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:15,199
Speaker 3: And then my dad like writes me later on being like,

605
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 3: I'm still processing it.

606
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:18,440
Speaker 1: So cute, so.

607
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 2: Proud, surreal. I mean, it's one of those things that

608
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 2: your parents, like you probably don't have to deal with

609
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 2: this anymore, but like when you're first starting out comedy,

610
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,840
Speaker 2: you get all these huge successes that are impossible to achieve,

611
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:31,960
Speaker 2: and your parents just don't understand what that even means

612
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:32,720
Speaker 2: or how hard it was.

613
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 1: Mine always did.

614
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:35,520
Speaker 2: Oh, they just always did.

615
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:38,159
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm kind of lucky in that way. I know

616
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,199
Speaker 3: that that does that Listen. They didn't always get it,

617
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:44,200
Speaker 3: Like they didn't understand how I was gonna make money.

618
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:47,000
Speaker 3: My mom's still worried that I'm spending too much money

619
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:50,199
Speaker 3: and that I'm gonna that I need a backup plan, like,

620
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:53,280
Speaker 3: but I will say that they always were like, Wow,

621
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:54,879
Speaker 3: you're opening for Screech this weekend.

622
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:55,560
Speaker 1: That's huge.

623
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:59,040
Speaker 3: You're driving to the middle of Illinois to get paid

624
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 3: for fifty to do to perform at a sports bar

625
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,320
Speaker 3: where everyone is mad at you because you just turned

626
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:07,240
Speaker 3: off the hockey game. Amazing, like they they were so

627
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 3: supportive all along.

628
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:12,240
Speaker 2: So well, okay, so just generically the Golden Globes, though,

629
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:16,960
Speaker 2: hosting the Golden Globe is something that everybody understands as

630
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:19,880
Speaker 2: a big deal, whether you're a I mean, the only

631
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 2: there's there's one group of people that I don't know

632
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 2: would understand, and that is Jen Alpha because they don't

633
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:29,400
Speaker 2: even watch TV. So but other than that, everybody from

634
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 2: the ages of eight, every one to ninety eight. Once

635
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:34,200
Speaker 2: it turned ninety nine year.

636
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 1: Well be well. I wrote the quote that I like.

637
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 3: I was kind of like writing from the heart initially

638
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:42,040
Speaker 3: to figure out what was going to say about this announcement,

639
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:44,240
Speaker 3: and Chris is like, because I'm trying to First, I

640
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:45,480
Speaker 3: was trying to write funny, and then Chris is like,

641
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 3: how do you actually feel? And I'm like, honestly, the

642
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 3: Golden Globes is the pinnacle of like what what I

643
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 3: at least for my career, aspire to like of what

644
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 3: I'm good at. It is the pinnacle because it is

645
00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 3: the only night as a host that you really get

646
00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:02,160
Speaker 3: to lean into being funny, and you really get to

647
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:05,040
Speaker 3: lean into telling the truth and saying the things about

648
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 3: show business what you which you revere and you're honoring

649
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:11,719
Speaker 3: because it's a legit award show. It's a serious award

650
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:15,120
Speaker 3: show that doesn't take itself too seriously. Now listen, there

651
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:18,800
Speaker 3: is a line, and you do have to tell that lot.

652
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:23,880
Speaker 3: It is a fine needle to thread. But I know

653
00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:26,960
Speaker 3: that I'm going to thread it perfectly because I do

654
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,720
Speaker 3: like Hollywood. I do want these people to like me.

655
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 3: I don't want to burn bridges, but I also I

656
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:39,040
Speaker 3: love calling out hypocrisy in a fun way that is palatable,

657
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 3: because that's the only way you can really call it

658
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 3: out these days. By the way, Like I'm not some

659
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,920
Speaker 3: pussy who's like, oh, I just I love Hollywood so

660
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,680
Speaker 3: much and I don't want to get canceled. I want

661
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:50,239
Speaker 3: to say things that could get me canceled, but I'm

662
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:52,160
Speaker 3: gonna figure out a way to say them where no

663
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 3: one can be mad, because it's just true, and that's

664
00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:56,479
Speaker 3: that's what you have to do.

665
00:29:56,920 --> 00:30:01,360
Speaker 2: It's I mean, that's so you study. I mean, he'd

666
00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 2: the I mean, he's thread that line or towed the

667
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:05,880
Speaker 2: line perfectly, part perfectly.

668
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:08,320
Speaker 3: Now, who knows if that kind of monologu would work

669
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,200
Speaker 3: in this day and age. Like it's been a while

670
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:12,680
Speaker 3: since he had those those big moments, and I think

671
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:15,400
Speaker 3: that the culture has changed a little bit, so especially

672
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 3: after last year's Golden Globes, where there seemed to be

673
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:22,239
Speaker 3: moments that were truly offensive to some celebrities, and like,

674
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:25,800
Speaker 3: so it's just gonna be It's it's going to be

675
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,800
Speaker 3: hard to do, but it's not impossible, and it's you know,

676
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 3: I talked to the people that chose me for this,

677
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:36,480
Speaker 3: and like we're really instrumental in making it happen, especially

678
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:39,240
Speaker 3: this guy Jay Penske, who's like the head of the

679
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 3: entire thing, and he's they're just so supportive of what

680
00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 3: I do, and like they they it's it feels similar

681
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 3: to when I used to talk about getting hired for

682
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 3: f Boy Island.

683
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:52,360
Speaker 1: I remember being.

684
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 3: Like, thank you so much, Oh my god, I can't

685
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:55,720
Speaker 3: believe I get to do this thing, Like I get

686
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:57,880
Speaker 3: to host a reality show for HBO, Like this is

687
00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:00,880
Speaker 3: the greatest thing I could ever imagine doing, and it

688
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:03,880
Speaker 3: really was. And then I remember HBO saying we're lucky

689
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:06,560
Speaker 3: to get you, like we want we're excited for what

690
00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:08,760
Speaker 3: you're gonna do, Like just do what you want because

691
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:10,800
Speaker 3: we trust you and we know that, like you're gonna

692
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 3: kill this. And I was like, wait, you trust me,

693
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 3: Like hold on, I'm supposed to be thinking you and

694
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 3: like just catering to you. But they're also like, no,

695
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:20,040
Speaker 3: we're lucky we have you, And I feel that same

696
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:23,240
Speaker 3: kind of like it's it's almost like sometimes when you're

697
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:25,800
Speaker 3: dating and you finally meet a person that you're like,

698
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:28,600
Speaker 3: you like me as much as I like you. It's

699
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:31,080
Speaker 3: never it really doesn't happen until it happens, right. Like

700
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 3: most of the time it's imbalanced. One person like is like, wow,

701
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:36,880
Speaker 3: I really lucked out, and the other person is like,

702
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:38,880
Speaker 3: you know, I'm kind of desperate right now and this

703
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:41,360
Speaker 3: he's really nice or whatever it is. But it's rare

704
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 3: when both people are like just as psyched for each other.

705
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,520
Speaker 3: I don't know that it's that common even in relationships.

706
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:48,800
Speaker 3: I think they're still in balance, and certainly not in

707
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:52,600
Speaker 3: professional relationships. But it feels that way, and I'm just

708
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:56,200
Speaker 3: excited to like, hopefully get to talk to Ricky Gervais,

709
00:31:56,600 --> 00:32:02,240
Speaker 3: hopefully get to talk to a Tina Amy Fallon Kimmel.

710
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm gonna talk to as many as I

711
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:09,520
Speaker 3: can conan about hosting these things and what they wish

712
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:11,440
Speaker 3: they would have done with Chris Rock, which they wish

713
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:13,560
Speaker 3: they would have done, wish they wish they they didn't

714
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:17,840
Speaker 3: want to do like they would have done, And I

715
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 3: just wanted to be the best it can possibly be.

716
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:25,240
Speaker 3: And I really feel like I have such a good

717
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 3: runway leading up to it, so much time to make

718
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:29,600
Speaker 3: it that like there's no way it won't be good.

719
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:32,080
Speaker 3: I just have never felt so certain about something. I'm

720
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:35,120
Speaker 3: sure two weeks out I'll be like, why don't I

721
00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:37,880
Speaker 3: have more time to like this isn't working Like that

722
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,080
Speaker 3: always happens. I talked about it on therapy with Chris

723
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:42,480
Speaker 3: yesterday about like I've got some big projects coming up.

724
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,360
Speaker 3: I didn't even tell my therapist, and I was like,

725
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:46,280
Speaker 3: I just don't want to have that two weeks out

726
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:50,000
Speaker 3: meltdown of like why am I you doing this? Like

727
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:53,080
Speaker 3: I just it might happen, because that is a part

728
00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:56,360
Speaker 3: of me as I'm learning in my individual therapy, like

729
00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:58,440
Speaker 3: the part of you that has self doubt, the part

730
00:32:58,480 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 3: of you that doesn't think you deserve things.

731
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 1: Don't be mean to that part of you.

732
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:05,360
Speaker 3: Just tell that part of you to like go hang

733
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:08,920
Speaker 3: out in another room and like scribble angrily in a journal.

734
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 3: And they can like slip you notes under the door

735
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 3: about how you're a piece of shit, but you don't

736
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:14,440
Speaker 3: have to pick those notes up. And you can still

737
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 3: feed that thing and like let it live in your house,

738
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 3: but you don't have to hang out with it. That

739
00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 3: that that thing, that girl that's mean and she can

740
00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:25,520
Speaker 3: write all her ver notes to you and be mean,

741
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 3: but that like but be nice to her. Don't kill

742
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:31,680
Speaker 3: her and punish her, but like just set her up

743
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 3: in a way that you like a mother in law

744
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 3: who's staying with you, that you're like, Okay, I got

745
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:37,520
Speaker 3: to put up with this for now, but like I'm

746
00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:39,760
Speaker 3: not gonna. I'm not gonna pick up what you're given me,

747
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:41,680
Speaker 3: and I'm gonna I'm gonna make.

748
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 1: Your stay lovely.

749
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,360
Speaker 3: That's how you have to treat parts of yourself like

750
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:48,280
Speaker 3: this whole family systems. I think it's called Family Development Systems.

751
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:50,720
Speaker 3: It's a book that two of my friends bought for

752
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 3: me in a year called No Bad Parts. I think

753
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 3: I got it twice for my birthday, and it's I've

754
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 3: only read like twenty pages of it because I was

755
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,720
Speaker 3: I was starting to make me do you know, journal

756
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:03,640
Speaker 3: entries and stuff that I didn't have time to actually

757
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:04,080
Speaker 3: commit to.

758
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:06,280
Speaker 1: But the theory of it is is that there are

759
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:06,920
Speaker 1: parts of.

760
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:11,439
Speaker 3: You that are wounded at certain ages, and you get

761
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:13,480
Speaker 3: frozen in time, and that seventeen year old version of

762
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:15,480
Speaker 3: you comes out in this circumstance, in this and now

763
00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:17,320
Speaker 3: the thirty one year old version of you or whatever

764
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 3: you like, and there's all these parts of you and

765
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:23,560
Speaker 3: you have to like call the parts up and talk

766
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:25,440
Speaker 3: to them and like you just to be nice to

767
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:28,000
Speaker 3: every part of yourself instead of being like, I hate

768
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:31,480
Speaker 3: what I'm disorganized, I hate when I am raging at

769
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:33,760
Speaker 3: something like you just to be like, oh, hey, person

770
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:35,799
Speaker 3: who rages, like, can you come out and talk to me?

771
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:37,719
Speaker 3: And then you have to like talk to it. Like

772
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:41,759
Speaker 3: it's kind of feels weird, like it feels kind of

773
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 3: stupid to do and a word that I was going

774
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:45,400
Speaker 3: to say, but I'm not gonna say it feels a

775
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:47,840
Speaker 3: little that but I was joking.

776
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:51,520
Speaker 2: But it's it's right, it supposedly.

777
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:55,759
Speaker 1: Works well, it's it's not ted lasso.

778
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:04,560
Speaker 3: Back again. Yeah, so Noah, do you know anything about

779
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:05,520
Speaker 3: these parts?

780
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:10,240
Speaker 4: You know, I'm really bad with the whole like talking

781
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:12,799
Speaker 4: to yourself and oh it's that part of you and

782
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:14,920
Speaker 4: writing a note in the mirror and looking at it

783
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:18,000
Speaker 4: every day. I just I it doesn't work for me.

784
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:20,520
Speaker 3: No, it doesn't. And there's but there's other ways to

785
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:24,040
Speaker 3: do it, Like there really are, like this. I think

786
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,759
Speaker 3: this book and I forget. I was talking recently about this, Like,

787
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:28,520
Speaker 3: you know, you don't have to look at yourself in

788
00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:30,719
Speaker 3: the mirror and go I love you. You just have

789
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:34,279
Speaker 3: to be like good job or like or like or

790
00:35:34,360 --> 00:35:36,600
Speaker 3: just be like yeah pretty like just talk to yourself

791
00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 3: like a bro. Like you don't even need to be

792
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:39,319
Speaker 3: like I love it.

793
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 2: Imagine if you were a bro and your inner voice

794
00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:44,279
Speaker 2: was a bro and you just had that confidence.

795
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:47,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do it pilates all the time. I'll just

796
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:49,720
Speaker 3: go and I've said it before, I go, go, Nikki,

797
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:51,200
Speaker 3: you could do this. Nick, You've got this. I like,

798
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:53,880
Speaker 3: turn into the CrossFit instructor who's like right next to

799
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:55,920
Speaker 3: my facebood, Nick, you got this. Don't give up now,

800
00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:59,080
Speaker 3: Like I hate that person when I'm imitating her in

801
00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:01,319
Speaker 3: my mind I'm like, this bitch needs to like know

802
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:03,760
Speaker 3: her lane and not and just focus on teaching the class.

803
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:06,800
Speaker 3: You know, you get those teachers that sometimes just get

804
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:09,120
Speaker 3: up near you too much and like encourage you when

805
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:11,279
Speaker 3: you're like, no, I came here to half asset. I

806
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:14,840
Speaker 3: don't know if anyway, those teachers sometimes they walk around

807
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 3: the room and like yesterday, my teacher kind of focused

808
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:19,239
Speaker 3: on me too much, and I was like, I hate

809
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:21,279
Speaker 3: these straps, Like I lash out at her and I

810
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:23,920
Speaker 3: didn't like not in her, but I was just like

811
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:26,120
Speaker 3: I don't want to use them, Like I kept dropping them,

812
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:27,439
Speaker 3: and she would like pick them up for me because

813
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:29,239
Speaker 3: she thought it was dropping them, and I go, I

814
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:30,799
Speaker 3: literally hate these and so.

815
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:31,400
Speaker 1: I just dropped.

816
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 3: And then I was like, oh my god, does she

817
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:35,040
Speaker 3: think I was being like but my adrenaline was so

818
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:37,879
Speaker 3: up from holding this fucking lunge that I like kind

819
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:38,400
Speaker 3: of snapped.

820
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:41,520
Speaker 2: But fuck the straps are you talking about? Like the

821
00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:44,040
Speaker 2: they're like nylon straps, they can make you stretch more.

822
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:45,360
Speaker 1: Oh I hate those things.

823
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:46,799
Speaker 2: They hurt your hands.

824
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:49,319
Speaker 3: I don't like the ones you put around your knees

825
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 3: and stuff. I hate any kind of work with a

826
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,480
Speaker 3: ball because I'm too sweaty and the ball will fly

827
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:56,319
Speaker 3: out from between my thighs if I press it too hard,

828
00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 3: or any kind of like band you have to rip

829
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:02,359
Speaker 3: around because the band always rolls on itself. Yeah, or

830
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:04,120
Speaker 3: it just like is in the wrong or it rubs

831
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:06,319
Speaker 3: off my spray tand or it leaves behind my spray

832
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:08,200
Speaker 3: tant on this band that other people have to use

833
00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:08,920
Speaker 3: at the studio.

834
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,760
Speaker 2: But bands, I don't mind. It's the straps that the strap.

835
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 3: Are you talking about the tix straps. Here's a new

836
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:21,279
Speaker 3: thing that I've learned in I'm calling you out, every instructor.

837
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:26,320
Speaker 3: That's something it got around to just say during classes,

838
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:28,920
Speaker 3: and it does work. I will say, I know it works,

839
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:35,080
Speaker 3: but a lot of instructors are going you are so strong,

840
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:38,759
Speaker 3: you are so strong, and I just I love it

841
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:41,120
Speaker 3: because it's true, like when we're all in class holding

842
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 3: that move, we are so strong, but you don't know

843
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:48,000
Speaker 3: me and I could be new to this class. Okay,

844
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:48,480
Speaker 3: what is it?

845
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:51,880
Speaker 2: They're just like t rex.

846
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:54,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a tr extra a t Rex strap.

847
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:56,040
Speaker 2: You can wrap it around your leg and you can

848
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:57,960
Speaker 2: help it stretch out your hamstrings, and it's just like

849
00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 2: there's no good way to do it without hurting your hand.

850
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:03,520
Speaker 3: Ants by the way it is. In the paleontology community,

851
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:06,600
Speaker 3: there is a divide of people. This is interesting to me.

852
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,840
Speaker 3: Some think that t Rex was a carnivore and like

853
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:13,640
Speaker 3: attacked and hunted for prey, and the others think it's scavenged.

854
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:17,480
Speaker 3: And there was one fossil found that had a t

855
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:22,560
Speaker 3: rex bone or tooth in this animal's bone, and everyone's

856
00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:25,279
Speaker 3: like and they go, this proves that it hunted, and

857
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:27,120
Speaker 3: then the others are like, no, it was probably just

858
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:29,799
Speaker 3: accidentally scavenging and like hit a bone.

859
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:30,080
Speaker 1: Or something like.

860
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:32,920
Speaker 3: It's like but it literally is like what they'd fight about,

861
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:35,920
Speaker 3: and like it is. It's like, uh, it's like the

862
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 3: Dane Cook of paleontology of like, no, Dane Cook's funny. No,

863
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:42,120
Speaker 3: He's like, you know where we're all divided. Although I

864
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 3: think everyone is wrong if they think Dane Cook's not funny,

865
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:46,600
Speaker 3: and I'm sure he'll clip this.

866
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:51,000
Speaker 2: Cook is funny. Dan Cook's album and Tooth Retaliation and

867
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:54,400
Speaker 2: Not Vicious Retaliation and the one before it were some

868
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:56,400
Speaker 2: of the best comedy albums of all time and they

869
00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 2: literally shaped me and all of my friends. Comede Extens

870
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:01,800
Speaker 2: of Bill. He's in the same way that Adam Sandler

871
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:03,479
Speaker 2: did with Happy Gilmore and stuff.

872
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:05,719
Speaker 3: What would not be what it is today without Dane Cook.

873
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,680
Speaker 3: He is a major, major mark on comedy.

874
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:12,319
Speaker 2: It's just sucks so bad when people just totally discount

875
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,880
Speaker 2: the guy's first two incredible albums that like change the

876
00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:19,879
Speaker 2: game because they're mad at him for Vicious Circle, which

877
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:20,960
Speaker 2: was less good.

878
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:24,560
Speaker 3: You know what he was great on, which I was

879
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:27,560
Speaker 3: in the audience Sports. My first TV appearance of my

880
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:31,480
Speaker 3: entire career was the Insomniac Tour with David tel and,

881
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:36,360
Speaker 3: Greg Giraldo, Dane Cook and Sean He's dead now I

882
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:37,480
Speaker 3: should remember his name.

883
00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:39,080
Speaker 2: Fuck, he was so funny man.

884
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:42,040
Speaker 3: He was on Comedy Central, David tel Uh, Greg Giraldo,

885
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:46,279
Speaker 3: Dane Cook, and Sean. I really forget he had. He

886
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:49,640
Speaker 3: had some kind of condition that U but he was

887
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:50,439
Speaker 3: so funny. Fuck.

888
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:51,200
Speaker 1: Someone look at.

889
00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:54,839
Speaker 4: Sean, Sean Ruse, raps Rouse Rouse.

890
00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:57,040
Speaker 3: Sean Rows. I think, oh my god, oh old I

891
00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:58,960
Speaker 3: am I used to like know this guy. This is

892
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:02,480
Speaker 3: so embarrassing. God, he's dead and can't get offended personally,

893
00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 3: but his kin next of kin can I guess? But

894
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:07,360
Speaker 3: he was Mann he's so funny. But Dane Cook on

895
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:10,879
Speaker 3: that special was fantastic. I mean, that was that way

896
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:12,920
Speaker 3: and that was peak Dane. I bet you anything. Dane

897
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:15,000
Speaker 3: was signed on to do that before he blew up,

898
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:17,479
Speaker 3: because all of a sudden, he's like one of four

899
00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 3: guys on this Comedy Central special and he is the

900
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:22,160
Speaker 3: biggest thing in the world at that point. And I

901
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:24,239
Speaker 3: went as a fan, I like, bought a ticket and

902
00:40:24,280 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 3: flew to Las Vegas to go to that show as

903
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:29,600
Speaker 3: a fan. I had just started comedy and then we

904
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:32,239
Speaker 3: got chosen to fill in seats. Me and Catherine got

905
00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:35,279
Speaker 3: chosen to fill in seats and got moved up and

906
00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:36,920
Speaker 3: they're like, you're gonna be on camera, and the camera's

907
00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 3: like in my face the entire time. I'm like, And

908
00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:43,120
Speaker 3: then we got chosen to go to the VIP party

909
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:45,880
Speaker 3: afterwards and meet all of them, and I talked to

910
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:48,759
Speaker 3: Greg Giraldo for hours, and I don't remember any of

911
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:51,480
Speaker 3: it because I was so fucking wasted, one of the

912
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:55,279
Speaker 3: biggest No. I was two wasted, right, I blacked out,

913
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:58,279
Speaker 3: But I I know from blacking out that I was

914
00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:00,680
Speaker 3: a really like I could have good comas when I

915
00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 3: was blacked out, all the time. I could pretty much

916
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:07,759
Speaker 3: be normal and lucid and seemingly lucid, and thank you

917
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 3: seemingly lucid because I was not because I did not

918
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:12,440
Speaker 3: remember any of it and I was wasted, but people

919
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:15,319
Speaker 3: would think and that I was totally sober. So Greg

920
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:17,560
Speaker 3: Drialdo and I like formed a friendship that night. Like

921
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:20,640
Speaker 3: I literally talked to him for hours and I was

922
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:24,200
Speaker 3: twenty one and I just started comedy. He gave me

923
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:26,560
Speaker 3: so much advice. Early in the evening, I got advice

924
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:28,160
Speaker 3: from Dame Cook because my friend went up to him

925
00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:30,680
Speaker 3: and was like, my friend is comedy and she really

926
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:32,920
Speaker 3: she would love some advice, and I'm like, don't do.

927
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:35,319
Speaker 3: I was so mad at her, but he quickly gave

928
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:37,600
Speaker 3: me some and it was really good. He said, do

929
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:39,880
Speaker 3: not move to New York or LA right out of college.

930
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:41,719
Speaker 3: How long you been doing it? Two years, stay in

931
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:43,480
Speaker 3: the city you're doing it. Moved to a city like

932
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 3: Austin or Boston or Chicago, Denver, get really good at comedy.

933
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:51,120
Speaker 3: There be the best in town, and then moved to

934
00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:53,040
Speaker 3: New York or LA. Which is great advice. And I

935
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:55,440
Speaker 3: did not follow it, but I essentially I kind of

936
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:57,640
Speaker 3: did because I moved to La moved back to Saint Louis,

937
00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:00,120
Speaker 3: got really good, then moved back out. But I it

938
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:02,880
Speaker 3: took me a while, but yeah, I spent all night

939
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:05,880
Speaker 3: talking to Greg Giraldo in this booth and it was

940
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:08,320
Speaker 3: not creepy. I remember being like, Oh, this guy doesn't

941
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:10,759
Speaker 3: there's doesn't seem like this guy wants to fuck me.

942
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:13,040
Speaker 3: Like this is honestly like an older comedian, just like

943
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:15,479
Speaker 3: we're having a good time and like talking about real shit.

944
00:42:15,719 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 3: He was sober at the time, so he remembered all

945
00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 3: of it, and I forgot every single thing we talked about.

946
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 3: Didn't remember a single fucking thing. I have pictures from it, though,

947
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:27,440
Speaker 3: and my friend witnessed it. And then he came to

948
00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:30,439
Speaker 3: Kansas City and worked a club like six months later,

949
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:33,840
Speaker 3: and I was just doing nothing all weekend in Lawrence, Kansas.

950
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,120
Speaker 3: I wasn't working, didn't go up to Stanford and Sons

951
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:37,440
Speaker 3: the club in Kansas City. But he was at a

952
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:39,640
Speaker 3: different club in Kansity, and I go to Stanford's on

953
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:41,799
Speaker 3: Tuesday night for open mic and they go, oh, I

954
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:45,440
Speaker 3: was over at whatever club at Mortis and Greg Geraldo

955
00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 3: was asking where you were, like asking about you all weekend,

956
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:49,640
Speaker 3: being like, when's Nicky Glaizer gonna drop it? And I'm like,

957
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:53,240
Speaker 3: why didn't anyone fucking I had I was such an idiot.

958
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:54,759
Speaker 3: I didn't know he was there. I would have gone

959
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:56,239
Speaker 3: up and didn't guest sets or something like.

960
00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:57,080
Speaker 1: It just sucks.

961
00:42:57,080 --> 00:42:59,279
Speaker 3: I could have maybe been friends with Greg Roaldo and

962
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:02,920
Speaker 3: I was for night. But that's why I eventually quit drinking,

963
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:04,239
Speaker 3: because that would happen all the time.

964
00:43:04,520 --> 00:43:07,480
Speaker 2: Well, there you go, there you go. I mean you

965
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:11,040
Speaker 2: who knows where your career would have been if you

966
00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:14,000
Speaker 2: had done those guest sets with Greg Gerald, though maybe

967
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:17,359
Speaker 2: you would have been hosting the Golden Globes two years ago.

968
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:20,359
Speaker 1: Now that's the thing. Nothing would change.

969
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:22,799
Speaker 3: It's not like I wanted that friendship to be like

970
00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:26,080
Speaker 3: what could my life be? It's just like someone's dead

971
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:27,759
Speaker 3: and he's one of the best to ever do it,

972
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:31,839
Speaker 3: and I have gone on to do the thing that

973
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:34,080
Speaker 3: he does, and it would have been nice to have

974
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:36,080
Speaker 3: him along the way as a mentor.

975
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:38,239
Speaker 1: Not that it's like my vote, my roast could have

976
00:43:38,239 --> 00:43:38,680
Speaker 1: been better.

977
00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:40,759
Speaker 3: It was great, but it would have been cool to

978
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:43,319
Speaker 3: like have his input along the way. Honestly, I don't

979
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:44,919
Speaker 3: even know that I would have been able to have

980
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:47,120
Speaker 3: that spun on the roses because I he would have

981
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:52,160
Speaker 3: had it. So I'm I'm full of mixed feelings right now.

982
00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:53,840
Speaker 3: I wish I could think of another word to describe it.

983
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:58,160
Speaker 3: But we'll be right back after this final thoughts.

984
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:05,160
Speaker 2: I had a success what I was in Bone Appetite yesterday? What? Yeah,

985
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:07,400
Speaker 2: I was in fun app Yeah for apples. They did it,

986
00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:09,560
Speaker 2: and they did it. Yeah, the whole profile on me.

987
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:11,239
Speaker 1: What a whole profile?

988
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:12,000
Speaker 2: Yeah?

989
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 3: Yeah?

990
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:14,760
Speaker 1: Wait Brian, can you hold it up as your picture?

991
00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:15,160
Speaker 3: Like in it?

992
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 1: Do you have the print version?

993
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,160
Speaker 2: There's no picture and I don't even think. No, it's

994
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:21,160
Speaker 2: not on print. It's just it's just on the internet.

995
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 3: Oh, nothing's in print. That's the That's what I'm realizing now,

996
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:26,759
Speaker 3: Bone a pe Tite, Brian Franchie, Okay, I'm looking it

997
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:27,160
Speaker 3: up now.

998
00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:29,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, they did a whole profile and this was I

999
00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:32,520
Speaker 2: think the best profile that I've gotten so far.

1000
00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 3: Oh my god, you guys.

1001
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:35,560
Speaker 1: It's called culture.

1002
00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:39,040
Speaker 3: How one man has dedicated himself to the art of

1003
00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:41,839
Speaker 3: Apple trolling. This comedian created an Apple ranking system so

1004
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:44,680
Speaker 3: no one so no one ever has to quote eat

1005
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:47,440
Speaker 3: a trash Apple ever again By Margaret Ebbie.

1006
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:52,000
Speaker 2: She was amazing, an amazing writer, and she really got it.

1007
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:53,160
Speaker 2: She really understood.

1008
00:44:53,160 --> 00:44:55,440
Speaker 1: Only to have this read to you.

1009
00:44:55,680 --> 00:45:01,400
Speaker 3: It's forty two hours now. Even when you select your

1010
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:04,359
Speaker 3: produce with care, what's inside is ultimately a mystery. This

1011
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:07,759
Speaker 3: is particularly true with apples whose shiny, bruiseless exteriors in

1012
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 3: the supermarket rarely reveal their contents. I'm gonna read the

1013
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:14,960
Speaker 3: whole thing pleasingly tart, overwhelmingly sour, or cloyingly sweet? Will

1014
00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:17,959
Speaker 3: your first bite be snappy? Or reveal the dread milliness

1015
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:22,320
Speaker 3: lurking within? Luckily, a hero helping luckily, a hero helping

1016
00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:25,280
Speaker 3: sort through the endless varieties of apples and their potential

1017
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:29,920
Speaker 3: pitfalls exists Apple rankings dot com, which Brian, if you

1018
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:34,720
Speaker 3: don't know, is the author and creator of. At Apple Rankings,

1019
00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:38,200
Speaker 3: you can browse through extremely opinionated, often hilarious descriptions of apples,

1020
00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:40,880
Speaker 3: all rated on a scale from zero worst to one

1021
00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:43,480
Speaker 3: hundred the best possible apple on the market. Each of

1022
00:45:43,520 --> 00:45:45,239
Speaker 3: the sixty nine apples on the side is ranked on

1023
00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:50,040
Speaker 3: characteristics likes, taste, crispiness, crispness, sorry crispness, beauty, and cost.

1024
00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:53,400
Speaker 3: Slash availability. There's also a meter for sweetness, tartness, and intensity,

1025
00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:56,040
Speaker 3: as well as a category is for baking apples, cider apples,

1026
00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:59,239
Speaker 3: and sour apples. Apple ranksing is an extended comedy bit,

1027
00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:02,960
Speaker 3: but it's also one man's devoted pursuit of excellence and fruit.

1028
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:06,960
Speaker 3: The website is the brainchild of comedian and cartoonist Brian Frangie,

1029
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:10,120
Speaker 3: who admits that until twenty twenty fifteen or so, he

1030
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:12,160
Speaker 3: wasn't even really a fan of apples. If you had

1031
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:14,120
Speaker 3: asked me then what my favorite fruit was, I would

1032
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:16,879
Speaker 3: have said mango or grape. Frangie tells Bonepetite I would

1033
00:46:16,920 --> 00:46:18,360
Speaker 3: pick up a red delicious and it would be a

1034
00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:21,200
Speaker 3: mealy disgrace. It was like I was in Pleasantville and

1035
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:23,560
Speaker 3: my whole world was black and white. One day, at

1036
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:25,320
Speaker 3: Whole Foods in New York City, he picked up a

1037
00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:28,560
Speaker 3: sweet tango apple. The world went into color. Franngie said,

1038
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:30,480
Speaker 3: it made no sense that this could be the same

1039
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:33,200
Speaker 3: fruit as the trash I had been eating. Feeling betrayed

1040
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:34,960
Speaker 3: by the forces that kept him from the joys of

1041
00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:39,439
Speaker 3: great apples, Frangi decided to start a site objectively ranking them.

1042
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:42,040
Speaker 3: I don't want anyone to eat a trash apple ever again,

1043
00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:44,680
Speaker 3: he says. Frangie, who also goes by the Apple, is

1044
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:46,959
Speaker 3: devoted his own ranking scale, which he calls the fruit

1045
00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:51,360
Speaker 3: fr sorry, F one hundred, F one hundred, and it calls,

1046
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:54,479
Speaker 3: and it calls, quote my legacy. I have nothing else,

1047
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:56,399
Speaker 3: I have no children. When I die, the only thing

1048
00:46:56,400 --> 00:47:00,959
Speaker 3: that will survive me is the system. The worst rated

1049
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:04,200
Speaker 3: apples on the side are Newton Pippins, ranked nineteen out

1050
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:06,880
Speaker 3: of one hundred, described as long island sand filled condom

1051
00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:10,200
Speaker 3: and quote a tasteless hunk of malformed donkey shit that

1052
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:12,960
Speaker 3: should have been abolished during the reign of George George

1053
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:16,200
Speaker 3: the Third King, George the Third Sorry. Anything below fifty

1054
00:47:16,160 --> 00:47:19,719
Speaker 3: five points is filed under category pure shit apples. The

1055
00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:23,040
Speaker 3: worst apples from zero to nineteen points are labeled apple hell.

1056
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:27,600
Speaker 3: These are further demarketed as not worth eating, horse food, despicable,

1057
00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:31,880
Speaker 3: vomitous filth, and finally criminal mel feasons.

1058
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:34,480
Speaker 1: Oh my god, these are all.

1059
00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:38,640
Speaker 3: Great heavy metal band names. Worse food, despicable, vomitous filth,

1060
00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:39,960
Speaker 3: criminal malfeasance.

1061
00:47:40,120 --> 00:47:40,919
Speaker 1: That's a great word.

1062
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:43,120
Speaker 3: On the other side of the spectrum are the top apples,

1063
00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:46,040
Speaker 3: sweet tangos and honeycris are in top rated specimen are

1064
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,600
Speaker 3: the top rated specimens described as the Holy Grail and

1065
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:51,520
Speaker 3: quote injecting its genes into some of the best apples

1066
00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:54,960
Speaker 3: mankind has to offer, respectively. Despite the humor of Frangie's review,

1067
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:56,240
Speaker 3: his commitment is serious.

1068
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:56,920
Speaker 1: He has a system.

1069
00:47:56,960 --> 00:48:00,239
Speaker 3: First, he buys five apples, taste one, and store the

1070
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:02,279
Speaker 3: rest and the refrigerator for a few days. When he

1071
00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:04,440
Speaker 3: tastes them again, What I didn't know this.

1072
00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:06,239
Speaker 2: No, nuts very systematic.

1073
00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:08,920
Speaker 3: Then two weeks later he repeats the process, trying to

1074
00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:11,839
Speaker 3: ensure that the sample he got didn't represent a bit

1075
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:12,800
Speaker 3: particularly good.

1076
00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:14,680
Speaker 1: Or particularly bad batch of fruit.

1077
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:19,440
Speaker 3: You are scientist, my friend Frangie scours farmers markets for

1078
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:22,080
Speaker 3: new varieties and keeps up the latest apple news. Keeps

1079
00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:24,560
Speaker 3: up on the latest apple news. He sometimes orders apples

1080
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:26,600
Speaker 3: directly from orchards if there's ones that peak his interest.

1081
00:48:26,640 --> 00:48:29,200
Speaker 3: At several points in our conversation, Franchie veered into the

1082
00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:32,320
Speaker 3: science of apple grafting and storage, and on the quote

1083
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:36,000
Speaker 3: apple scam, in which unscrupulous grossers give the Pink Lady

1084
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 3: labels to lesser fruit crisps. Pink though crisp, pink and

1085
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:41,879
Speaker 3: pink Ladies are the same variety of apple. To earn

1086
00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:43,959
Speaker 3: the name pink Lady, apples have to pass a certain

1087
00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:48,480
Speaker 3: quality standard. Okay, it goes on and on. So Brian

1088
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:51,880
Speaker 3: goes on to say, sometimes people write me nasty emails

1089
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:53,799
Speaker 3: and call me a fraud, but usually people are in

1090
00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:54,319
Speaker 3: on the bit.

1091
00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:56,160
Speaker 1: He pays attention to the comments.

1092
00:48:56,640 --> 00:49:00,080
Speaker 3: I was like, uh, after clamoring from the comments, Oh,

1093
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:02,440
Speaker 3: wait for one apple, the sugar Bee, Franngie upset reviewers

1094
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:04,480
Speaker 3: by putting an initial score of the seventies good but

1095
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:07,799
Speaker 3: not great. After clamoring from the comments, Franchie tried the

1096
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:10,799
Speaker 3: sugar Bees again, this time fresh from the orchard. I

1097
00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:12,600
Speaker 3: was like, you know what, I was a little biased

1098
00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:14,839
Speaker 3: by the horrific bee mascot. I gave it a lower

1099
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:16,880
Speaker 3: score that I should have. I raised the score.

1100
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:19,320
Speaker 1: This goes on and on.

1101
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:24,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, So, speaking of comments, some of the comments, I've

1102
00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:26,279
Speaker 2: been getting a lot of comments on my website since

1103
00:49:26,280 --> 00:49:28,560
Speaker 2: this article came out, and I shared a couple of

1104
00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:31,439
Speaker 2: them on my Instagram, and I just want to read

1105
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:35,400
Speaker 2: a couple of comments that I got. Yeah, one of

1106
00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:40,919
Speaker 2: them is, how about you kill yourself fucking web. Too

1107
00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:44,560
Speaker 2: many stupid retards like you making this world a bigger

1108
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:45,719
Speaker 2: shithole than it is.

1109
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:48,520
Speaker 3: I think they got the wrong profile. I think they

1110
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:51,920
Speaker 3: meant to honestly, like, don't you think that that person

1111
00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:56,000
Speaker 3: is just copy and pasting that for everyone because.

1112
00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:58,160
Speaker 2: There's I don't know, Well, here's another one. Okay, you're

1113
00:49:58,200 --> 00:50:01,760
Speaker 2: a fucking moron and proved by claiming Fuji is closer

1114
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:05,000
Speaker 2: to Honey Crisp than Red Delicious. It's consistent mushy texture

1115
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:07,040
Speaker 2: and absolutely no flavor or one of its major flaws.

1116
00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:09,319
Speaker 2: You maybe should shut the fuck up and never give

1117
00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:12,239
Speaker 2: your opinion on anything, as you're an absolute retard that

1118
00:50:12,239 --> 00:50:16,040
Speaker 2: should be castrated as to never pass on your shitty gens.

1119
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:22,000
Speaker 3: So they definitely because they quoted genes and they like

1120
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:23,480
Speaker 3: stole what you were just talking about.

1121
00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:25,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I mean it's it's kind of like there

1122
00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:28,080
Speaker 2: are some people who make comments like that on my website,

1123
00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:29,920
Speaker 2: which I approve. I go through and I approve them

1124
00:50:30,280 --> 00:50:33,439
Speaker 2: by hand. They make comments like that because they think

1125
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:36,200
Speaker 2: they're being funny. They think they're in on the bit

1126
00:50:36,239 --> 00:50:39,080
Speaker 2: because I'm so severe about my Apple rankings. They think

1127
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:41,719
Speaker 2: in response. Now there's some people who are like that,

1128
00:50:41,960 --> 00:50:44,799
Speaker 2: and they're just not as good at being funny, right,

1129
00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:47,240
Speaker 2: so they just say you're a retard who should kill yourself,

1130
00:50:47,239 --> 00:50:48,200
Speaker 2: and they think that's the bit.

1131
00:50:48,760 --> 00:50:49,520
Speaker 1: No, you're right.

1132
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:51,759
Speaker 3: I think that people do that a lot. Like you know,

1133
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:53,800
Speaker 3: I talk about sex a lot openly on stage, and

1134
00:50:53,840 --> 00:50:56,319
Speaker 3: people will come up and say really disgusting things about

1135
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:58,839
Speaker 3: things they want to do to me, which is there's

1136
00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:01,040
Speaker 3: some truth in it, which the people are probably actually

1137
00:51:01,040 --> 00:51:04,080
Speaker 3: mad at you too, but they delivered in your way

1138
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:06,799
Speaker 3: and you're like, no, that's you're missing the mark. That's

1139
00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:10,480
Speaker 3: not how we're I'm I'm that's right, they're just trying

1140
00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:11,520
Speaker 3: to Now.

1141
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:13,719
Speaker 2: Every once in a while, there are people who will

1142
00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:17,600
Speaker 2: write comments that are vicious, but they're also well written

1143
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:19,600
Speaker 2: and funny, and those are like, now, you're right on

1144
00:51:19,640 --> 00:51:20,040
Speaker 2: the mark.

1145
00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:23,040
Speaker 3: They're like, that's oh god. I love when people are finding.

1146
00:51:23,160 --> 00:51:27,440
Speaker 2: Any of those paragraph a tone of just like absolute

1147
00:51:28,120 --> 00:51:29,080
Speaker 2: eviscerating me.

1148
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:32,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, but in the tone though, like yeah, like they

1149
00:51:32,640 --> 00:51:36,759
Speaker 3: nail it. Yeah, that's really satisfying when you listen. It

1150
00:51:36,800 --> 00:51:39,399
Speaker 3: hurts a lot when you get a comment that's mean,

1151
00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:44,440
Speaker 3: but it's like precise and well written, and there's just

1152
00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:46,839
Speaker 3: people can be so funny that aren't comedians. And I

1153
00:51:46,880 --> 00:51:49,560
Speaker 3: think obviously we've learned that from the Internet more so,

1154
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:52,480
Speaker 3: like just people's comments, like different memes that are made

1155
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:54,640
Speaker 3: just people on Twitter that are like you know that,

1156
00:51:55,040 --> 00:51:57,640
Speaker 3: I don't go on Twitter, but I just see tweets,

1157
00:51:57,640 --> 00:51:58,759
Speaker 3: you know, like on Reddit.

1158
00:51:58,480 --> 00:51:59,719
Speaker 1: And stuff, and you just go.

1159
00:51:59,800 --> 00:52:02,240
Speaker 3: Man, and some people are writing the funniest jokes ever written,

1160
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:04,120
Speaker 3: and they're just like a guy in a car at

1161
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:06,720
Speaker 3: Target who just thought something, you know, before he starts

1162
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:08,000
Speaker 3: up his car, like to see.

1163
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:12,560
Speaker 2: The key is those people are randomly being funny at points,

1164
00:52:12,719 --> 00:52:15,479
Speaker 2: and the difficulty of being a professional comedian is doing

1165
00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:17,960
Speaker 2: it consistently over a long period of time.

1166
00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:22,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's exhausting and it becomes not fun when

1167
00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:24,919
Speaker 3: the pressure's on. So it's like you have to find

1168
00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:27,680
Speaker 3: ways to make it fun for yourself and try to

1169
00:52:27,680 --> 00:52:30,600
Speaker 3: not put so much pressure on it, because it's nothing

1170
00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:33,959
Speaker 3: worse than like trying to be funny. But I will

1171
00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:38,280
Speaker 3: say I just have you know, my girl Emily reads

1172
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:42,360
Speaker 3: all of my comments now and does all of my

1173
00:52:43,640 --> 00:52:46,239
Speaker 3: like she'll it sucks because I want to I want

1174
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:47,960
Speaker 3: to get back in there. It saves me so much

1175
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:50,319
Speaker 3: time though to not reading comments, and I still read

1176
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:54,120
Speaker 3: my dms, and I sometimes late at night will like

1177
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:57,520
Speaker 3: go see like nice things people said, and she sometimes

1178
00:52:57,600 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 3: is like, hey, this person commented this, what should I say?

1179
00:52:59,719 --> 00:53:02,040
Speaker 3: But for the most part I don't read any comments

1180
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:04,640
Speaker 3: and it's but it's worth it. I just don't want

1181
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:07,480
Speaker 3: to read mean things. And yesterday there was something mean

1182
00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:12,880
Speaker 3: said about, of all people, Kellen uh, the little boy

1183
00:53:13,160 --> 00:53:14,000
Speaker 3: that uh.

1184
00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:15,840
Speaker 1: At the airstart people.

1185
00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:20,000
Speaker 3: I didn't even like. I honestly that does a little

1186
00:53:20,040 --> 00:53:23,800
Speaker 3: boy in address does literally nothing for my Olympic system

1187
00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:26,200
Speaker 3: in terms of like this is different, Like I don't.

1188
00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:29,279
Speaker 3: I'm so happy that it signals nothing in me to

1189
00:53:29,400 --> 00:53:32,400
Speaker 3: care or even think that anyone would care. I like that.

1190
00:53:32,480 --> 00:53:36,440
Speaker 3: I'm that, you know, used to it, because who the

1191
00:53:36,560 --> 00:53:40,440
Speaker 3: fuck gives a fuck? But people still do, and I

1192
00:53:40,440 --> 00:53:43,480
Speaker 3: forget that it's so naive that I don't, and I'm

1193
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:46,200
Speaker 3: just so grateful. As I said, like, yesterday, Emily told

1194
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:49,719
Speaker 3: me people were saying nasty stuff. So she's like, I'm

1195
00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:51,799
Speaker 3: just gonna delete and and block them or whatever, and

1196
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:53,480
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, but can you write back to

1197
00:53:53,560 --> 00:53:56,080
Speaker 3: one of them? That I just am so glad Kellen

1198
00:53:56,200 --> 00:53:59,120
Speaker 3: got his parents and not you as parents, and that

1199
00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:01,920
Speaker 3: I hope You're child is everything you expected it to be.

1200
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:05,760
Speaker 3: Otherwise they're going to have a horrible time. And it's true,

1201
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:09,080
Speaker 3: Like thank god, and I said this before, like just

1202
00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:13,960
Speaker 3: thank god. I feel to all the little boys or

1203
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:16,320
Speaker 3: girls out there that want to dress in a different

1204
00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:19,280
Speaker 3: way than you are expected to dress and your parents

1205
00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:22,040
Speaker 3: won't let you. I'm so sorry that you could, Like

1206
00:54:22,280 --> 00:54:24,359
Speaker 3: to the centuries of young boys who wanted to wear

1207
00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:29,080
Speaker 3: dresses and couldn't. Kellen is living his best life because

1208
00:54:29,120 --> 00:54:31,759
Speaker 3: of the what you had to endure, and it's like

1209
00:54:31,840 --> 00:54:34,400
Speaker 3: so great to see that it's just not an issue

1210
00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:38,680
Speaker 3: and it shouldn't because who is it harming? Literally who?

1211
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:43,959
Speaker 3: And I just always think about it. I just don't

1212
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:45,319
Speaker 3: get it. I just like I.

1213
00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:48,080
Speaker 2: Can't masculinity and I want.

1214
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:50,239
Speaker 3: And he's destroy it. And he's choosing it too, you know,

1215
00:54:51,080 --> 00:54:57,399
Speaker 3: because it's what's in it. It's it's crazy, But I like, no,

1216
00:54:57,600 --> 00:55:01,399
Speaker 3: you're my I was just saying to Chris yesterday because

1217
00:55:01,440 --> 00:55:02,759
Speaker 3: we were talking about and we're like, you know, it

1218
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:07,960
Speaker 3: does take a really amazing father to embrace that entirely.

1219
00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:12,040
Speaker 3: And Kellen does have an amazing father, and I don't

1220
00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:13,720
Speaker 3: know his mother, but I'm sure it's like a support

1221
00:55:13,719 --> 00:55:15,400
Speaker 3: on all sides because he just seems to just know

1222
00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:18,600
Speaker 3: himself and love himself so much and like not any

1223
00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:20,520
Speaker 3: Yeah he doesn't. Yeah, he's a lady of the lake,

1224
00:55:20,560 --> 00:55:24,799
Speaker 3: and he doesn't seem to have any There's nothing that

1225
00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:27,120
Speaker 3: makes him seem like I'm doing something different or weird.

1226
00:55:27,239 --> 00:55:29,640
Speaker 3: Like he's not like I'm special because of this. He's

1227
00:55:29,760 --> 00:55:31,120
Speaker 3: just is you know in that.

1228
00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:33,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, he just is.

1229
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:36,080
Speaker 3: Over telling around this or something.

1230
00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:38,960
Speaker 2: The generations, I think if you go zoomer in below,

1231
00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:43,319
Speaker 2: like everyone's wearing whatever they want there, everyone's got nail

1232
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:46,000
Speaker 2: polish on if they want it, And I just think

1233
00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:48,239
Speaker 2: it's gonna this is really just gonna be a non

1234
00:55:48,360 --> 00:55:50,440
Speaker 2: factor in a hundred years.

1235
00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:53,520
Speaker 3: I'm so glad because it was a factor even in

1236
00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:57,320
Speaker 3: my lifetime. Like I remember for seeing little like uh

1237
00:55:58,040 --> 00:56:02,840
Speaker 3: not that he's whatever. It is like kids dressing in

1238
00:56:02,880 --> 00:56:05,560
Speaker 3: a different gender than they were assigned at birth and

1239
00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:07,760
Speaker 3: being like, WHOA, that's different and kind of being jarred

1240
00:56:07,760 --> 00:56:11,520
Speaker 3: by it. So I've even been in the generation of WHOA,

1241
00:56:11,560 --> 00:56:13,880
Speaker 3: Not that that's wrong or something, but WHOA that's different.

1242
00:56:13,920 --> 00:56:17,319
Speaker 3: I'm gonna like that's all gets my cockles raised, And

1243
00:56:17,360 --> 00:56:20,239
Speaker 3: now I don't feel it at all. It like it's

1244
00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:21,920
Speaker 3: just so nice that I didn't even think, like can

1245
00:56:21,960 --> 00:56:24,240
Speaker 3: I buy a dress for a boy? Like is this weird?

1246
00:56:24,280 --> 00:56:25,719
Speaker 3: Like what I was just shopping for him? It was

1247
00:56:25,760 --> 00:56:27,600
Speaker 3: like I was shopping for Poppy. It wasn't even like

1248
00:56:28,080 --> 00:56:30,080
Speaker 3: and I love that that's the way it is. Because

1249
00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:32,799
Speaker 3: all I can say is, if you have any kind

1250
00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:36,080
Speaker 3: of like a little bit of hesitation about how little

1251
00:56:36,080 --> 00:56:38,719
Speaker 3: boys or little girls want to act or dress and

1252
00:56:38,800 --> 00:56:42,640
Speaker 3: like what parents should do, just imagine the way you

1253
00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:44,560
Speaker 3: felt as a little boy or girl and the things

1254
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:46,480
Speaker 3: you like to play with, and hope to God that

1255
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:50,200
Speaker 3: you expressed the same gender that you wessigned at birth.

1256
00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:52,319
Speaker 3: But let's say, like, because I was talking to Chris,

1257
00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:55,080
Speaker 3: I was like, I can't imagine being eight years old

1258
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:58,560
Speaker 3: and someone making me wear boy clothes, like because that

1259
00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:00,600
Speaker 3: of how I felt when I was an eight year

1260
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:04,160
Speaker 3: old girl and like wanting to play with dolls and stuff,

1261
00:57:04,480 --> 00:57:06,480
Speaker 3: and like just that's all you have to do is

1262
00:57:06,520 --> 00:57:09,640
Speaker 3: just imagine what that would be like if when the

1263
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:10,760
Speaker 3: way you felt about things.

1264
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:14,080
Speaker 2: When you were it, right, So if I was a

1265
00:57:14,080 --> 00:57:16,360
Speaker 2: little boy. If I was my parents made me wear

1266
00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:16,880
Speaker 2: a dress.

1267
00:57:17,080 --> 00:57:19,800
Speaker 3: Yes, how that would feel, because that's what that's what.

1268
00:57:19,880 --> 00:57:22,760
Speaker 3: This is a document that you came like. Just run

1269
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:24,280
Speaker 3: that through your head. That's all you have to do,

1270
00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:26,640
Speaker 3: and then you know exactly how it feels. This isn't

1271
00:57:26,640 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 3: a huge stretch of the imagination. That's it. So no

1272
00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:33,840
Speaker 3: one should struggle with this at all, and no one's

1273
00:57:33,880 --> 00:57:36,040
Speaker 3: being forced to do anything. It's just what he wants

1274
00:57:36,080 --> 00:57:38,920
Speaker 3: to do. And man, if the world would be a

1275
00:57:38,920 --> 00:57:40,880
Speaker 3: great place if kids could just be who they want

1276
00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:45,400
Speaker 3: to be and we didn't, you know, project things onto them.

1277
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:47,560
Speaker 3: But it's hard not to and it's hard to adjust

1278
00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:49,720
Speaker 3: to these things. And I'm not mad if people are

1279
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:52,200
Speaker 3: having struggles doing it. I just want you to maybe

1280
00:57:52,320 --> 00:57:54,480
Speaker 3: use some of the devices I learned to wrap your

1281
00:57:54,520 --> 00:57:56,160
Speaker 3: head around it a little bit more. But that's all

1282
00:57:56,160 --> 00:57:58,640
Speaker 3: I'll say on that for now. We have another podcast

1283
00:57:58,800 --> 00:58:00,720
Speaker 3: for you this week. Don't think we'd don't We usually

1284
00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:03,720
Speaker 3: do too, but we have a bonus, so it'll come

1285
00:58:03,720 --> 00:58:06,160
Speaker 3: out tomorrow. Is that right? Noah, yep, that's right. Three

1286
00:58:06,200 --> 00:58:08,880
Speaker 3: this week, you guys, Lucky you, lucky us.

1287
00:58:08,920 --> 00:58:09,720
Speaker 1: We love doing it.

1288
00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:14,560
Speaker 3: We will see you then congratulations, Brian, congratulations, Nicky, thank you.

1289
00:58:14,680 --> 00:58:17,520
Speaker 3: That's but that bone apute thing is so cool. I

1290
00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:20,520
Speaker 3: wish you did you post it yesterday to to come out.

1291
00:58:21,200 --> 00:58:22,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, I came out yesterday.

1292
00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:24,320
Speaker 3: Fuck Okay, I'm gonna repost it today. I love it

1293
00:58:24,360 --> 00:58:26,479
Speaker 3: so much. I can't wait to finish reading it. Thanks

1294
00:58:26,480 --> 00:58:30,000
Speaker 3: to everyone. I love Peleelontologist. They'll be code bye. The

1295
00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:33,040
Speaker 3: Nicki Glazer Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big

1296
00:58:33,040 --> 00:58:36,320
Speaker 3: Money Players and iHeart Podcasts. Created and hosted by me

1297
00:58:36,480 --> 00:58:40,000
Speaker 3: Nicki Glazer, co hosted by Brian Frangie. Executive produced by

1298
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:43,800
Speaker 3: Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and Noah Avior edited it engineered

1299
00:58:43,840 --> 00:58:47,960
Speaker 3: by Lean and Loaf, video production Mark Canton, and music

1300
00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:50,800
Speaker 3: by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes of

1301
00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:54,520
Speaker 3: the Nicki Glazer Podcast on YouTube, follow at Nicki Glazer

1302
00:58:54,560 --> 00:58:56,160
Speaker 3: Pod and subscribe to our channel