1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,960 Speaker 1: My girlfriend cheated on me and left. Now she wants 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:09,720 Speaker 1: me back, but try to return it. But no, we 3 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:13,360 Speaker 1: ain't accepted it. Accepted it? Hi, everyone, Hello, just wanted 4 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:15,880 Speaker 1: some advice on this sense. I can't really decide what 5 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,960 Speaker 1: to do. I twenty three male and my ex girlfriend 6 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:22,479 Speaker 1: twenty three female were together for almost two years, but 7 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: she cheated and left me in June. More on that later, 8 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:28,160 Speaker 1: so stay tuned. It was the first relationship for us both. 9 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,760 Speaker 1: Aside from the issues described in the post, there were 10 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,479 Speaker 1: actually lots of good sides to the relationship. We had 11 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:36,640 Speaker 1: lots of passions in common, very similar views on important 12 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:39,560 Speaker 1: life aspects and this comes from much Phone ten toy 13 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:43,599 Speaker 1: eight from our slash relationship advice. So background. She's very 14 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:47,159 Speaker 1: insecure and about not being enough for people, and was 15 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:50,839 Speaker 1: diagnosed with abandonment issues before I met her because of 16 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:54,440 Speaker 1: their parents divorcing when she was three. She was clear 17 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:57,120 Speaker 1: from the beginning with me, and I accepted that and 18 00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: said I wanted her to grow with me. And she 19 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:03,880 Speaker 1: started going to a psychologist some months before we met 20 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,360 Speaker 1: because of fights with her mother's new husband, and continued 21 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,560 Speaker 1: after we met because she felt abandoned every time I 22 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: did something without her already seeing some red flags. While 23 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 1: with me, unfortunately, the issues just became worse. She was 24 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:21,520 Speaker 1: anxious about me not thinking about her and not being 25 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:25,560 Speaker 1: close to her every time we weren't together. It's that 26 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:30,560 Speaker 1: Auntie is uping here. So she started seeing a psychiatrist 27 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:34,120 Speaker 1: as well. So she's been on Zoloft stereo Lene for 28 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:38,400 Speaker 1: a year and she took Xanax during the during the episodes, 29 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:42,920 Speaker 1: but still unfortunately felt very bad. As for me, all 30 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:45,560 Speaker 1: of my friends always said I treated her like a princess. 31 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:48,440 Speaker 1: I always made ruin my schedule for quality time with her, 32 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:50,520 Speaker 1: and I did everything in my power to make her 33 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:53,960 Speaker 1: feel better in the situations when we weren't together, if 34 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:57,040 Speaker 1: I if I was without her, I texted her like 35 00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 1: every ten minutes and called her after I came back home. 36 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 1: Is this feeling like this is too much? This is 37 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,080 Speaker 1: feeling this is too much like a lot. 38 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:09,800 Speaker 2: Yes, mental health problems are are Do you know that 39 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:10,360 Speaker 2: that happens? 40 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 1: Yes? That doesn't mean ope you should have to do Yeah. 41 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:17,639 Speaker 1: Oh you are doing a therapist job right now. Oh? Yes, 42 00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:22,600 Speaker 1: be compensated as such by rate one hundred and five 43 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:26,560 Speaker 1: hundred an hour five Yeah, dang, it was never enough, 44 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,440 Speaker 1: and many times she tried to leave me because I 45 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:33,119 Speaker 1: want something different from her and she's not enough and 46 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,960 Speaker 1: we are incompatible. And a couple of times she accused 47 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 1: me of cheating, which I never did and never felt 48 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 1: the need to. Wait, wait, go back on that floor. 49 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,760 Speaker 1: I never felt the need to. You never felt the 50 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:46,080 Speaker 1: need to. 51 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:49,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, I never felt the need. If I felt the need, 52 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:52,400 Speaker 2: I would right there. But for now, for an hour 53 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 2: or two. 54 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:55,799 Speaker 1: I don't feel it. No, I'm good for now. She's 55 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,200 Speaker 1: always tried to make me feel guilty for doing normal 56 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:01,160 Speaker 1: things like going out with my friends or with the association. 57 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,960 Speaker 1: As I see it, we have different lifestyles, and that 58 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:07,560 Speaker 1: also had an impact. I'm graduating in engineering, I'm doing 59 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 1: an internship, and I do projects in a student association, 60 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,359 Speaker 1: so my schedule is very busy, but I always made 61 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:15,520 Speaker 1: room to see her at least one evening in the 62 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:20,040 Speaker 1: working week and every weekend engineering engineering. You know what 63 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:25,400 Speaker 1: kind of schmuck would do that, Dummies. She studies medicine, 64 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:28,480 Speaker 1: so she's usually so usually the only thing she does 65 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,960 Speaker 1: during the day is study, and she unfortunately can't do 66 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:35,760 Speaker 1: that properly if she's having an episode. Important detail. We're 67 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:40,560 Speaker 1: in different cities until March. Oh, I can see how 68 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 1: this would exacerbate it by a lot. I was always 69 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:46,400 Speaker 1: the one moving to see her. She doesn't have a car, 70 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:49,040 Speaker 1: but I moved to her city for the internship. So 71 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 1: things were going better in the last couple of months. 72 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:55,440 Speaker 1: She even said she's felt safer now with me. We 73 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:59,240 Speaker 1: have the next part labeled the situation. Oh, we're not 74 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:00,680 Speaker 1: even at the city. We're not. 75 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:05,080 Speaker 2: We're just at the background. That's the background is already rough. 76 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:06,480 Speaker 1: What red flags are you seeing? 77 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:10,560 Speaker 2: I'm seeing someone who is incredibly needy and making their 78 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 2: partner feel responsible for their internal insecurity. 79 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,800 Speaker 1: Yes, it's like, hey, if you're not doing X, Y 80 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 1: and Z, you're in the wrong doing this. 81 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,919 Speaker 2: Like if I'm feeling bad, it's your fault. Is basically 82 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:26,680 Speaker 2: what she's saying and not taking any responsibility for what 83 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:28,960 Speaker 2: she needs to do to make herself feel good, and like. 84 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,880 Speaker 1: Look, I I I get that. You know she has 85 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,320 Speaker 1: like the abandoned issues with her parents and everything, and 86 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,720 Speaker 1: so understand that, but it's that should not allow you 87 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:41,599 Speaker 1: to dump that on OP. Obviously you can you know, 88 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,520 Speaker 1: communicate that and ask for support. 89 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,880 Speaker 2: And OP wants to take care of it, you know, 90 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,680 Speaker 2: And I just know you're getting into You're getting into 91 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 2: a lot. 92 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,919 Speaker 1: Yeah. Sophia Collen says she needs therapy. One already has 93 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,960 Speaker 1: a psychiatrist. Kimberly Fine says she needs to process instead 94 00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:02,880 Speaker 1: of transferring responsibility new therapy term. Hmmm, answering responsibility that part. 95 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,720 Speaker 1: Can we just say that tomorrow to Sophia in some 96 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:10,240 Speaker 1: way shape or for we did a transfer responsibility. 97 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:13,120 Speaker 2: Here and and everyone's like, oh, Riley, you're so small. 98 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,360 Speaker 1: Even on the public stream. That's good. 99 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:19,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, everyone on my back, everyone, you have, Everyone say 100 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:23,000 Speaker 2: Riley's so smart, handsome, so cool, so to be yours, 101 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:23,600 Speaker 2: so mindful. 102 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,680 Speaker 1: What if we did a whole stream where Riley has 103 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,400 Speaker 1: intentionally bad takes and we're like, wow, Riley, that was 104 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:32,080 Speaker 1: like you're you're really onto something here, and so he's like, no, 105 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,159 Speaker 1: we should do this and all of us and Chat 106 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 1: is like, what are you talking about? Sofia, that would 107 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:38,320 Speaker 1: actually be really funny. It would get in her head 108 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:38,880 Speaker 1: so much. 109 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:42,800 Speaker 2: I know it would, dude, if we had we if 110 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:46,600 Speaker 2: this would be maybe mean, but a like we all 111 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 2: go in and Chat knows it's a reverse day. It's 112 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 2: like we do an opposite day, but everyone everyone knows 113 00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:56,159 Speaker 2: except Sophia, and we take the opposite take each time. 114 00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:59,919 Speaker 1: But very seriously, this is why you don't let the 115 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 1: boy's streams. These are the things that that would be evil. 116 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,200 Speaker 3: Everyone would do it just for one episode. I feel 117 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,480 Speaker 3: like after one she'd be like. 118 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 1: Catch, but it would be fun for that one. I'm down. 119 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 1: We'll figure it out, or will it be one of 120 00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:18,599 Speaker 1: us double agent? 121 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:19,000 Speaker 3: Yeah? 122 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,599 Speaker 2: I mean you guys, don't you guys know I already 123 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:24,120 Speaker 2: I already freaking do that anywhere. 124 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:31,360 Speaker 1: Myself. Sam simmune. But we'll find a way. All right, 125 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:35,719 Speaker 1: boys and girls, let's get into the situation. In June, 126 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:38,880 Speaker 1: a friend of hers from her university asks her out 127 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,200 Speaker 1: in a friendly way. She asked if I'm okay with that, 128 00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:42,960 Speaker 1: and I say, of course, I have no problem with 129 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,320 Speaker 1: her seeing a friend. I've always been the secure one 130 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:48,279 Speaker 1: in the relationship. I trusted her fully and had literally 131 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,919 Speaker 1: no idea what was going to happen. Plus I wanted 132 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:52,839 Speaker 1: to give her the example on how to not be 133 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:57,080 Speaker 1: controlling and anxious. The day after, she she spontaneously admitted 134 00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,839 Speaker 1: the guy tried to kiss her. We almost laugh on 135 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:02,359 Speaker 1: it and make it not a big deal. The next week, 136 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:06,279 Speaker 1: she spontaneously admits she has seen the guy another time. 137 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:09,600 Speaker 1: This time she didn't tell me, said that they kissed 138 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,800 Speaker 1: and he told her things that He confused her because 139 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:15,280 Speaker 1: she said the same things that she was asking me 140 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:18,119 Speaker 1: all the time, the thinking about her all the time, 141 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:21,640 Speaker 1: and feeling close even when we are not things. So 142 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 1: he was saying all the right things, all the right 143 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:26,360 Speaker 1: things to like. She's like, oh, this is what my 144 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:30,280 Speaker 1: anxious mind craves. Yeah. I thought he was trying to 145 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 1: manipulate her with the things that she wanted to hear. 146 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:35,560 Speaker 1: There we go. I think she admitted to him not 147 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,520 Speaker 1: being fully happy with the relationship, so I forgave her, 148 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:41,600 Speaker 1: but put the boundary that she should never see or 149 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:45,480 Speaker 1: text him again. It sounds like she kissed him back. 150 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:46,560 Speaker 1: It seems unclear. 151 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,480 Speaker 2: I think that the second time he kissed her, and 152 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:52,280 Speaker 2: maybe she kissed back but didn't admit it or sorry. 153 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,920 Speaker 2: The first time she kissed, they kissed each other. He 154 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:59,080 Speaker 2: kissed her, yes, but she didn't admit to kissing him. 155 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:01,440 Speaker 2: The second time. I think they kissed the trust each other. 156 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:05,600 Speaker 2: Come on, otherwise, shame on me for me twice. 157 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:07,840 Speaker 1: Shame on you, du full me three times get to 158 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:12,120 Speaker 1: third base. So I forgave her, but put the boundary 159 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,000 Speaker 1: up that she should not see or text him again, 160 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 1: otherwise she would never ever see me again. I never 161 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,200 Speaker 1: again heard about the guy from her in the next 162 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,880 Speaker 1: few weeks. On next few weeks, oh no. But in 163 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 1: July she started a fight with me over needing to 164 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,240 Speaker 1: go on a two day team building trip with the 165 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:32,200 Speaker 1: company that I'm doing an internship with. She asked, hypothetically 166 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:35,600 Speaker 1: she would ask me not to go, would I go anyways? 167 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:39,160 Speaker 1: And I said yes, because it's important for me. I 168 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:41,000 Speaker 1: want to get hired for a full time job, so 169 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:44,560 Speaker 1: I need to show interest. She got enraged because she 170 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:46,920 Speaker 1: felt less important than team building. 171 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:51,160 Speaker 2: Oh my god, it not red flag, dude, end it, 172 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:53,600 Speaker 2: end it, oh man, end it. 173 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,560 Speaker 1: The last week in June, I later found out that 174 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,800 Speaker 1: she had a spicy sleep with the guy and left 175 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:03,160 Speaker 1: me out of guilt. I supposed her official motivation was 176 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:06,120 Speaker 1: because she felt confused and she needed time to study, 177 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:07,880 Speaker 1: but she said she forgot about the guy. 178 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:11,360 Speaker 2: So I guess like she broke up with ope and 179 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:13,920 Speaker 2: then cheated on him dude, or then. 180 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:17,400 Speaker 1: Or note broke up with him, she had spicy sleep 181 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,840 Speaker 1: with a guy and left me out of guilt, I 182 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,559 Speaker 1: suppose to. Yeah, maybe it was kind of like at 183 00:09:21,559 --> 00:09:23,679 Speaker 1: the same time, so she like hooked up in the 184 00:09:23,679 --> 00:09:26,680 Speaker 1: sky and then was like, all right, let me like exit, 185 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,319 Speaker 1: exit as quick as possible. So it's so it's seat, 186 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:33,120 Speaker 1: you know, the timelines could be like almost together. But 187 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:35,560 Speaker 1: that's I mean, we're not hundred cents shirt, but that's 188 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,920 Speaker 1: what it seems like. The first week of July, she 189 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,960 Speaker 1: didn't come to my birthday party and uh didn't even 190 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,640 Speaker 1: get me a gift. I later found out that she 191 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:48,160 Speaker 1: was having more spicy sleep what with that guy, and 192 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:51,839 Speaker 1: even went to his birthday party, no, which is about 193 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:54,120 Speaker 1: two days later than mine. Why are you still with her? 194 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:59,720 Speaker 1: Is he wearing his birthday suit? Oh god, dude, stop 195 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:03,560 Speaker 1: the madness. I felt terrible in those weeks, and I 196 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:06,800 Speaker 1: had trouble functioning as a normal human being because deep 197 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:10,240 Speaker 1: down I knew what was happening, yet she kept saying 198 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:12,440 Speaker 1: that she forgot about the guy. So I'm I'm a 199 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 1: little bit unclear, but maybe it's like she was hooking 200 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:19,480 Speaker 1: up with this guy. But OPI suspected but didn't know 201 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:23,400 Speaker 1: for sure at that time. But now he know so 202 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:25,760 Speaker 1: he's like, uh, oh, back then, I wasn't sure. I 203 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:28,439 Speaker 1: was suspicious, but this now I know this was actually 204 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 1: happening the whole time. Oh my god. In late July, 205 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:35,600 Speaker 1: she confessed everything, explained that she did it because the 206 00:10:35,679 --> 00:10:38,600 Speaker 1: other guy understood her on those important things, but she 207 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:41,760 Speaker 1: wanted to come back to me if I understood them too. Now, 208 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:47,520 Speaker 1: Oh my dude, God, bro, you are please don't take 209 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:51,439 Speaker 1: her back. Please, God, do not take her back. You 210 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,880 Speaker 1: were you were, like always so worried and anxious, and 211 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,280 Speaker 1: he was giving you these ten minute check ins. Meanwhile, 212 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:57,880 Speaker 1: he should have been doing the same with you. Not 213 00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:59,160 Speaker 1: actually the projection thing. 214 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:04,920 Speaker 4: It's the projection, bro, transferring responsibility that part. 215 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:09,120 Speaker 1: Hey, Riley, talk about it, talk about it. I said 216 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:12,080 Speaker 1: I needed time because I felt awful about what she 217 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:14,440 Speaker 1: did to me. He he already clearly laid the boundary 218 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,439 Speaker 1: when they when they kissed me, like, hey, don't talk 219 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,440 Speaker 1: to him ever again, or I'm out now she's soaked 220 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:19,760 Speaker 1: up with this guy multiple times. 221 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:22,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was like he kissed me, all right, don't 222 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,240 Speaker 2: hang out with them. We kissed each other. Please don't 223 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:29,000 Speaker 2: hang out with them. We hooked up. Please, please don't 224 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,160 Speaker 2: hang out with them. We're hooking up, just multiple times. 225 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:35,120 Speaker 2: And also I went to his birthday and guess what 226 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:36,600 Speaker 2: I got him as his birthday present? 227 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:43,280 Speaker 1: Head nope, otp waxed. Oh oh, the greatest gift you 228 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:47,559 Speaker 1: could ever give someone. Oh my gosh. I took off 229 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,640 Speaker 1: August since I was physically ill about the cheating and 230 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:54,880 Speaker 1: tried some sort of no contact. She kept apologizing via text, 231 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:56,760 Speaker 1: saying I'm the love of her life and she made 232 00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:59,760 Speaker 1: a mistake over and over again that she wanted him 233 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:03,000 Speaker 1: not to do. I ignored her, but she also told 234 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,840 Speaker 1: me I'm a horrible person for going on a trip 235 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,680 Speaker 1: with my friends the same week I was supposed to 236 00:12:08,679 --> 00:12:11,840 Speaker 1: go on a trip with her. Oh my what she 237 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,520 Speaker 1: was cheating on June when I was planning our trip together. 238 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:18,400 Speaker 1: So yeah, come on, dude, get out of there. Hey, 239 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:21,760 Speaker 1: but Riley, freak out. You're a horrible person for hanging 240 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:24,560 Speaker 1: out with your friends and going on a workship. But 241 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,199 Speaker 1: you cheated on me like seven times, but you went 242 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,720 Speaker 1: on a workship, so. 243 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:33,040 Speaker 2: Well, each instance of cheating cancels the last one out. 244 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:36,960 Speaker 2: So it's like cheat once you've you're cheating, Cheat twice 245 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:43,000 Speaker 2: two negatives, positive, cheat three times, negative again four times math, 246 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,720 Speaker 2: well that goes against seven times. Only need to do 247 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:47,240 Speaker 2: one more to make it positive. 248 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:52,160 Speaker 3: But with your whole past situation that conflicts how's that 249 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:52,720 Speaker 3: we're going. 250 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:58,640 Speaker 1: We're out of the hall past cinematic universe difference. This 251 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:01,920 Speaker 1: is another timeline. Okay, different dimensions. Okay, this is. 252 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:05,959 Speaker 2: The uh this is the dimension of Op's girlfriend's mind. 253 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:10,480 Speaker 1: Oh okay, yeah, I start. We need to start the okay, 254 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:13,880 Speaker 1: the oka CEU, the okay, we'll get there. We'll get there. 255 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,160 Speaker 2: The combination of ICU and okay. Didn't even think about okay, 256 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:18,400 Speaker 2: see you there we go. 257 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:22,520 Speaker 1: So now, since September, I feel somewhat better and started 258 00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:26,199 Speaker 1: replying to her constant apology texts. Uh oh, even though 259 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,839 Speaker 1: I'm really confused about her intentions. I asked if she's 260 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:33,840 Speaker 1: still texting this guy. She said yes, because she doesn't 261 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:36,960 Speaker 1: trust me that I really want her and. 262 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:40,640 Speaker 2: She really wanted me. You would cheat on me and 263 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,840 Speaker 2: I get agree back. Yeah, I did it for you. 264 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:46,280 Speaker 2: I gave you the gift of questioning the relationship so 265 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:47,640 Speaker 2: you'll be able to fight for me. 266 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:48,320 Speaker 1: Wow. 267 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:51,720 Speaker 2: You know it's like if he doesn't slay the dragon, 268 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:53,520 Speaker 2: how do you know that he really wants to be 269 00:13:53,559 --> 00:13:54,640 Speaker 2: with you for the rest of the life. 270 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:55,240 Speaker 1: How would you know? 271 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:58,840 Speaker 2: You don't know, you don't know. It's like in turmoil, 272 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,800 Speaker 2: that's when we know the true character of a man, truly. 273 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:06,160 Speaker 2: And she gave Op that purmoil to prove his love 274 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:09,559 Speaker 2: to her, and Op didn't give her that same opportunity. 275 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:12,640 Speaker 1: Wow, honestly, pretty selfish. You know what can prevent herm 276 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:15,600 Speaker 1: oil though? What joining us every weekday at three pm 277 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:18,280 Speaker 1: PST on our lives? Like right now, that's the proof 278 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:21,040 Speaker 1: of way join us? So I'm not sure how to 279 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:25,640 Speaker 1: move forward here. I do yeah, break up. I'm finding 280 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:29,120 Speaker 1: it hard to find her apologies genuine since she's still 281 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,040 Speaker 1: talking to the guy that she cheated on me with. 282 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:33,800 Speaker 1: But at the same time, I recognize this could be 283 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:37,160 Speaker 1: a part of her abandonment issues since she can't be alone. 284 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:39,760 Speaker 1: I still have strong feelings for her, and part of 285 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:43,320 Speaker 1: me wants to believe she can change. I still think 286 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,840 Speaker 1: about her every day. She was my best friend and 287 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:47,920 Speaker 1: I spent most of my free time with her, so 288 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,720 Speaker 1: when I'm free, I'm just in my room crying and 289 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:54,160 Speaker 1: missing her. I'm really struggling with this internal conflict and 290 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:56,880 Speaker 1: could use some advice from others who might have been 291 00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 1: in similar aciation. 292 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:03,240 Speaker 2: All right, boys on the cat of three, ye should 293 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,360 Speaker 2: op stay together or break up? 294 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:12,200 Speaker 1: Yep, let's do it one two three? What I knew 295 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,920 Speaker 1: you were gonna do that. I knew you were going 296 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,960 Speaker 1: to do that. You sent me up so perfectly. Yeah, 297 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:22,440 Speaker 1: break up, leave leave this really this is such a 298 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:25,920 Speaker 1: clear cut and like, yeah, he's his heart is hurting, 299 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:30,040 Speaker 1: you know, understandable. But this is just gonna She's gonna 300 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:32,360 Speaker 1: keep projecting on you. She's gonna keep cheating on you 301 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,120 Speaker 1: if you if you go back, you're giving her more 302 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,920 Speaker 1: license because she knows what she can get away with. 303 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,560 Speaker 3: Ye, and it's gonna be even odd, even odd, even odd, 304 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:40,920 Speaker 3: and then soon you're not even gonna be able to 305 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:41,320 Speaker 3: keep up. 306 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:45,920 Speaker 1: You don't know, not true. Yeah, too many times to count. 307 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:50,000 Speaker 1: I'm an even kind of guy. Even gang even gang 308 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:56,720 Speaker 1: zero that's not even what is it? Then it's zero, 309 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:58,160 Speaker 1: it's not even odd? 310 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:04,000 Speaker 4: Negative two is that honor? Even negative two? Negative two 311 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:09,760 Speaker 4: is even okay? Zero zero is is neither even no 312 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:15,760 Speaker 4: nor odd okay, and then two two is even Riley's 313 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:18,200 Speaker 4: like point proven what mean? 314 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:22,400 Speaker 1: Dot him? Also, I'm sorry you go to the bathroom again. 315 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:24,480 Speaker 1: I do too. Why don't you go, I'll talk about Chatt. 316 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:25,960 Speaker 1: I can talk about you guys. Got there, we go, 317 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:28,360 Speaker 1: There we go. You can use my bathroom. You can 318 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:31,360 Speaker 1: stream wall. We're streaming, all right. 319 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:35,400 Speaker 2: I think I'm watching my husband cheat on me in 320 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:36,320 Speaker 2: a real time. 321 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:37,600 Speaker 1: At least you can see it. 322 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,400 Speaker 2: I thirty three female. I have been married to my husband, 323 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:43,720 Speaker 2: thirty three male for three years now, been together for seven. 324 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,440 Speaker 2: The first year were together, we lived three hours from 325 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:49,000 Speaker 2: each other, and one weekend and one weekend while I 326 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:52,560 Speaker 2: was at his place, I had found out he cheated 327 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:52,880 Speaker 2: on me. 328 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:53,280 Speaker 1: Ouch. 329 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,360 Speaker 2: We worked through it. He moved in with me. We've 330 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,880 Speaker 2: been pretty good ever since. I like to think we 331 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:02,320 Speaker 2: have a relatively strong marriage, or at least I did. 332 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:04,840 Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from the Lizard Queen seven 333 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:09,320 Speaker 2: four to two on the borou Updates Suburditch. So last 334 00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:11,280 Speaker 2: week he told me he had to go away this 335 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:11,960 Speaker 2: week for work. 336 00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:13,640 Speaker 1: Suspicious. Suspicious. 337 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,240 Speaker 2: His best friend back home is having some pretty serious 338 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,800 Speaker 2: mental health issues and can no longer be allowed to 339 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,240 Speaker 2: use power tools. However, he was in the middle of 340 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:25,000 Speaker 2: a building project and needs to get that needs to 341 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:28,439 Speaker 2: get done, so said so said, friend's dad hired my 342 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:31,040 Speaker 2: husband to finish the job with him, so it's like 343 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,600 Speaker 2: a work trip, but also not a work trip. I 344 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:35,520 Speaker 2: guess like he's helping out a friend, but he's doing 345 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:36,560 Speaker 2: work as well. 346 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 1: Right, Okay. 347 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,280 Speaker 2: He told me he was leaving Tuesday and would be 348 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:43,400 Speaker 2: back Friday. Since he left, I haven't spoken to him 349 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,679 Speaker 2: for more than five minutes at a time, usually when 350 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:48,040 Speaker 2: he's away from work. He's calling me five times a day, 351 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,119 Speaker 2: which I thought was weird, but just assumed he was 352 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:54,560 Speaker 2: busy hanging out. Well tonight technically last night. So Wednesday, 353 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,800 Speaker 2: he once again only calls me for ten minutes and 354 00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:59,800 Speaker 2: tells me that not only is he now staying on 355 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:03,680 Speaker 2: until Sunday extra time, even though he sent me pictures 356 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,920 Speaker 2: of the job half done already, but that he's going 357 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,359 Speaker 2: to get his car looked at, which is why he 358 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:11,400 Speaker 2: can't talk long, because he worked late and still has 359 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:12,399 Speaker 2: to take his car in. 360 00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:14,719 Speaker 1: Okay, Okay. 361 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,359 Speaker 2: When I asked him where he was taking the car 362 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,840 Speaker 2: to get fixed so late, it's almost ten at this point, 363 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:24,080 Speaker 2: he said he had a buddy next town, over over 364 00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:26,640 Speaker 2: an hour away that was going to take a look 365 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,400 Speaker 2: at it tonight. Give him a quote and get parts 366 00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:33,560 Speaker 2: to get fixed Thursday. So at this point, huge red 367 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,040 Speaker 2: flags now, because if he was going to a friend's house, 368 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,200 Speaker 2: he always tells me, who is never. 369 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:38,639 Speaker 1: Just a buddy? 370 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:43,400 Speaker 2: Oh, Asher says, why is it always the three year 371 00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:46,080 Speaker 2: marriages that suddenly had the issues that three years? 372 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,359 Speaker 1: Once they hit three years, then they get excited for 373 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:53,320 Speaker 1: what happens on year four? Oh, that's true, they jumped 374 00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:56,840 Speaker 1: the gun. I'll pass right. It's a self fulfilling procesta. Wait, 375 00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,920 Speaker 1: you just gotta wait, you gotta wait. The patience is cute. 376 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,600 Speaker 2: And as his wife, I know he only has two 377 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:05,000 Speaker 2: friends that still live in that town, and neither of 378 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:09,639 Speaker 2: them know shit about card. Oh, we have a tracking 379 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,520 Speaker 2: app that we use for us and our kids' phones, 380 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,840 Speaker 2: so I decided to look on that. He got there 381 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:18,120 Speaker 2: at midnight. It's now three am and he's still there, 382 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:22,960 Speaker 2: and it's neither of his friend's houses, his new friend. 383 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,439 Speaker 2: I just know my gun is just streaming that this 384 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,760 Speaker 2: is exactly what I think it is. 385 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:29,920 Speaker 1: And I'm sick to my stomach. 386 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:34,000 Speaker 2: My best friend is asleep and she's all I have, 387 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,359 Speaker 2: and I just had to get this off my chest 388 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:40,480 Speaker 2: before I explode. There is an update, but really quick, 389 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:45,520 Speaker 2: what do you think about OP laying this out on 390 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:48,560 Speaker 2: her friend, basically saying, I think my husband may be cheating. 391 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,080 Speaker 2: And do you think the husband maybe cheating? 392 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:55,600 Speaker 1: I think so. I think it's okay. If it's a 393 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:58,200 Speaker 1: good friend who's like, you know, wants to be there 394 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:01,840 Speaker 1: and like the support their friend, I think that's great 395 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,960 Speaker 1: and it's a good idea to run it by someone 396 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,760 Speaker 1: to be like, Okay, here's what I'm here's what I'm 397 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:12,800 Speaker 1: thinking of doing. If you have a relationship where you 398 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:14,520 Speaker 1: can she could kind of keep it in confidence at 399 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,280 Speaker 1: least for now. Uh, and that she should go to 400 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:19,600 Speaker 1: her husband and just lay out, like I don't think Op, 401 00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,159 Speaker 1: he's really done anything wrong. They share their location with 402 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,680 Speaker 1: each other. She was like, Hey, I was feeling weird 403 00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:26,719 Speaker 1: about it. You know, usually mentioned a friend, you were 404 00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:28,959 Speaker 1: there till three am. I looked on the app. Just 405 00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:32,399 Speaker 1: share these things and that you like, you aren't feeling 406 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:33,600 Speaker 1: good about it, and then. 407 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:39,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, conversation first conversation First him really fine, says he's 408 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:44,119 Speaker 2: exploding on someone else's chest. Oh no, oh my goodness 409 00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:45,959 Speaker 2: with his exhaust pipe. 410 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:46,960 Speaker 1: Wow. 411 00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,760 Speaker 2: Oh, it's because it's because I just had to get 412 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:51,480 Speaker 2: this off my chest before I explode. 413 00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:58,480 Speaker 1: Dude, oh man, here with the Zingers today, ladies and gentlemen. 414 00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:02,520 Speaker 1: Fine ohing of update update. 415 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,280 Speaker 2: He stayed until six thirty this morning, called me at 416 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:09,000 Speaker 2: seven thirty while still on the road, pretending to be 417 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,720 Speaker 2: just waking up. I don't think he understands how our 418 00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:14,480 Speaker 2: app works so that his car couldn't get fixed because 419 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,440 Speaker 2: the parts are seized. Still never mentioned what friend, He 420 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:20,360 Speaker 2: pretty much just proved it to me there. I appreciate 421 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,840 Speaker 2: all your kind words and advice. I'm broken, so forgive me. 422 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:26,360 Speaker 2: If I don't answer replies, just know I appreciate it. 423 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:30,560 Speaker 2: Update two answering questions. So John, at this point, are 424 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:33,600 Speaker 2: you are you convinced he's laying pipe getting his exhaust 425 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:34,560 Speaker 2: pipe laid. 426 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:40,800 Speaker 1: While I'm like ninety five percent sure that this pipe 427 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 1: is getting laid. Uh. I think that she still needs 428 00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:49,200 Speaker 1: to present to him in a conversation like she's She's 429 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:52,400 Speaker 1: just got more, more and more evidence. Still sit down 430 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:56,400 Speaker 1: with them, be like, hey, here's all the things explain. Yeah, 431 00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:59,719 Speaker 1: let's talk. I agree? Would I agree? Talk first? That's 432 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,640 Speaker 1: what I Update two answering questions. 433 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,600 Speaker 2: Now that I've had most of the day to really 434 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:07,520 Speaker 2: think about everything and had a good talk with my 435 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:09,880 Speaker 2: best friend about it as well. This is where we're at. 436 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,199 Speaker 2: When he called me this morning, I was making coffee. 437 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,560 Speaker 2: I told him I was making coffee and he said, ooh, coffee, 438 00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:16,600 Speaker 2: I should get some of that. I just woke up 439 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:18,960 Speaker 2: and I haven't got a chance yet except when he 440 00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:21,520 Speaker 2: left this morning. He went to the closest coffee shop 441 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:24,439 Speaker 2: before he left town. So again another line, dude is 442 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,960 Speaker 2: bad at this. Also, op is good because she's really 443 00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:29,280 Speaker 2: she's really tracking. 444 00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:32,760 Speaker 1: He's as bad at lying as she is good discovering 445 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:33,240 Speaker 1: the truth. 446 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,359 Speaker 2: And to answer the recurring question of why are you 447 00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:39,479 Speaker 2: tracking him if you trust him, the answer is, I'm not. Well, 448 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:40,160 Speaker 2: I wasn't before. 449 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:40,480 Speaker 1: Now. 450 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:42,679 Speaker 2: We got the app last week when our kids started 451 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,720 Speaker 2: walking to school on their own, so we can see 452 00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:47,879 Speaker 2: they were getting a home safe. In turn, they can 453 00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,880 Speaker 2: see where we are when we're out of the house. 454 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:52,000 Speaker 2: I didn't force him to get the tracking app, and 455 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,400 Speaker 2: it wasn't to catch him doing anything, although it did 456 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:56,679 Speaker 2: kind of work out that way. So the story he 457 00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:59,119 Speaker 2: gave me was he went over there for his buddy. 458 00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:02,920 Speaker 2: He finally gave me a name. Let's call him John, Nice, 459 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:05,200 Speaker 2: get your girl, John, And. 460 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:09,040 Speaker 1: I know not me John. 461 00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:13,120 Speaker 2: I have a girlfriend, Fry was not involved in the night, 462 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:17,320 Speaker 2: never involved. And I know of John, but have never 463 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,560 Speaker 2: met him in person, which is why I think he's 464 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,359 Speaker 2: a good patsy. To fix something on his car, he 465 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:24,480 Speaker 2: said they couldn't get it unstuck with home tools, so 466 00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,760 Speaker 2: he came home. But John's a mechanic, so he's going 467 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:28,840 Speaker 2: to talk to his boss today and see if he'll 468 00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:31,280 Speaker 2: allow them to come in after hours tonight to fix 469 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:33,359 Speaker 2: it in the shop. And he was just writing, and 470 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:35,760 Speaker 2: he was just waiting on confirmation of that and a 471 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:37,119 Speaker 2: quote for the parts. 472 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:38,800 Speaker 1: Now here's the problem. 473 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:43,320 Speaker 2: Although John is a mechanic, John doesn't work nor live 474 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,000 Speaker 2: in the city he was in last night. And as 475 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:49,120 Speaker 2: soon as he said quote for parts, I realize that 476 00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:51,840 Speaker 2: that means he doesn't have the parts yet, which means 477 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,399 Speaker 2: if the story were true, they would have been taking 478 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:57,200 Speaker 2: apart in the car with no parts to put it 479 00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:00,359 Speaker 2: back together, which makes zero sense. And that's put it 480 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:03,040 Speaker 2: all together for me. That and while I was on 481 00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:05,439 Speaker 2: the phone with him, his best friend woke up and 482 00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,000 Speaker 2: asked them if he was just getting in from last night, 483 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,560 Speaker 2: and I literally listened to him stumbled to come up 484 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:14,119 Speaker 2: with an answer because he knew I could hear him 485 00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:16,720 Speaker 2: that one cut deep, but he said no. I came 486 00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,439 Speaker 2: home last night surprised you didn't hear me lie to 487 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:25,960 Speaker 2: his best friend too, which is super suspicious. Super I have, both, 488 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,720 Speaker 2: from reading these comments and talking with friends, decided. 489 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,480 Speaker 1: I'm going to keep it low and I'm going to 490 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:35,200 Speaker 1: keep it cool like that click Rightley. 491 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:39,280 Speaker 2: I'm not going to confront him because I don't see 492 00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:42,080 Speaker 2: a point. He's either going to deny it, flip it, 493 00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:44,960 Speaker 2: or admit and beg for forgiveness, and honestly, I don't 494 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:46,800 Speaker 2: want to deal with any of that right now. What 495 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:48,359 Speaker 2: I need to do is get my ducks in a 496 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,600 Speaker 2: row to get out. So that's what the plan is 497 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:56,199 Speaker 2: going forward. I feel humiliated, I feel stupid as f 498 00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,240 Speaker 2: but above all, I'm pissed, piss at him, pissed at me, 499 00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:02,120 Speaker 2: just pissed the f off. And to everyone who asked 500 00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:04,159 Speaker 2: why didn't leave the first time, I'm not going to 501 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:06,040 Speaker 2: be mad about it. It's a valid question and the 502 00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,560 Speaker 2: answer is that he put in work to prove it 503 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,760 Speaker 2: was a mistake. I had never been cheated on before, 504 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:11,560 Speaker 2: and I was naive. 505 00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:12,280 Speaker 1: We went to. 506 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:14,040 Speaker 2: Therapy and a lot of work, and he put in 507 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,600 Speaker 2: all the effort I ever asked to prove that this 508 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:18,240 Speaker 2: is what he really wanted. 509 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:22,760 Speaker 1: He really fooled me. Oh so yeah, y'all are right. 510 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:25,080 Speaker 2: I should have had more self respect than I should 511 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,119 Speaker 2: have known, and I didn't. It'll be the first to 512 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:29,160 Speaker 2: admit now that I'm an idiot, and I'll be sure 513 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:32,200 Speaker 2: to know and use it as a life lesson going forward. 514 00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:34,360 Speaker 1: We do have some relevant comments. 515 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,359 Speaker 2: Little baby Chick says, can you do a Google search 516 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,760 Speaker 2: of the address, see if it's an apartment slash home, 517 00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:42,720 Speaker 2: Search for the actress and see if you can find 518 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:45,359 Speaker 2: a name for the residence owner. Do you have access 519 00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:47,240 Speaker 2: to his apps? Can you look at his messages? Try 520 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,359 Speaker 2: calling him see if he picks up. If he doesn't answer, 521 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:51,919 Speaker 2: call him later today. Ask him who the friend is, 522 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:55,240 Speaker 2: where the car is. Take screenshots of location with time 523 00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:58,240 Speaker 2: and day. Doesn't look good. Sorry, guess what, guys, there's 524 00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:02,480 Speaker 2: an update coming up soon. Lady Beemer eighty nine ten says, 525 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:04,800 Speaker 2: document everything and get your ducks in a row. Quietly, 526 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:07,680 Speaker 2: trust your gut. He's your husband and we're stranger on 527 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:09,560 Speaker 2: the internet. I'm sorry he's done this to you and 528 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,960 Speaker 2: your family. Good on you for not ignoring red flags 529 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:17,440 Speaker 2: and the judgment is not the a hole. But he 530 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:18,760 Speaker 2: got an update four days later. 531 00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:21,080 Speaker 1: My god, I'm not ready. Hey, y'all, a. 532 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,520 Speaker 2: Lot of people have been asking for an update, So 533 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:28,160 Speaker 2: here we go. Go see a previous post to catch up. 534 00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:31,399 Speaker 2: So he finally came home Saturday night. I'd spent the 535 00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:35,320 Speaker 2: entire week gathering the information I need or divorce, but 536 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:39,399 Speaker 2: what I really needed for myself was proof proof that 537 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:42,159 Speaker 2: this was anything other than what I thought. It was 538 00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,560 Speaker 2: proof that I was crazy for ever thinking he would 539 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:51,760 Speaker 2: do this to me. Instead, I found her. Oh no, 540 00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,000 Speaker 2: he claims he went over to her house, but never 541 00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:54,959 Speaker 2: actually to sleep with her. 542 00:26:55,359 --> 00:27:05,080 Speaker 1: He entertained her with what Sha Sha spent the night, but. 543 00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:07,840 Speaker 2: Didn't sleep with her, and I just couldn't believe that. 544 00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:10,400 Speaker 2: He told me he only entertained her because she made 545 00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:13,600 Speaker 2: it easy to give her attention, and that's what I 546 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:16,119 Speaker 2: walked out. I spent the day with my bestie, drank 547 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:18,679 Speaker 2: a lot, and I decided for my own closure, I 548 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:20,640 Speaker 2: needed to know if he really did sleep with her, 549 00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:22,679 Speaker 2: one way or another. He took off his ring and 550 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,240 Speaker 2: walked into a house, so I was done, but for 551 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,280 Speaker 2: my own peace of mind, I needed to know the 552 00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,880 Speaker 2: truth and I wasn't going to get it from him. 553 00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:32,040 Speaker 2: I found her number in his phone the night he 554 00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:36,800 Speaker 2: got home, so I just called her. Turned out, he 555 00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:41,159 Speaker 2: lied about being married, obviously, and took advantage of a 556 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,960 Speaker 2: poor girl who recently had gotten out of an abusive 557 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:47,600 Speaker 2: relationship and finally put her trust in someone again. Oh 558 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,359 Speaker 2: my god, he did sleep with her, even left her 559 00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:52,400 Speaker 2: shirt because he wouldn't be back for two weeks. Yes, 560 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:54,640 Speaker 2: he was planning on going back out, but I didn't 561 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:57,080 Speaker 2: find out. He made this poor girl think he loved her, 562 00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:00,160 Speaker 2: and I'm disgusted. He hurt so many people with this crap. 563 00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:03,360 Speaker 2: So here we are. I'm officially a thirty three year 564 00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:07,760 Speaker 2: old single mom, terrified of life ahead. I haven't eaten 565 00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:09,840 Speaker 2: in days. My body has been in a fight or 566 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,760 Speaker 2: fight for so long now that I'm currently sitting at 567 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:15,439 Speaker 2: the hospital hoping someone canna help me reset it so 568 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:17,840 Speaker 2: I can finally sleep for once this week and my 569 00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:20,560 Speaker 2: heart can have a break. I'm a mess to say 570 00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:22,439 Speaker 2: the least, but seriously want to thank everyone for the 571 00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:24,919 Speaker 2: advice and kind words. This is a literal nightmare and 572 00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:26,720 Speaker 2: I feel like I can't wake up from it, and 573 00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:29,040 Speaker 2: the sweet messages really help. So thank you all again. 574 00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:32,639 Speaker 2: Here's to hoping it gets better. And we do have 575 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:36,040 Speaker 2: a response from op and and relevant comments. So mac 576 00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:38,440 Speaker 2: Zaddy says, does he know that you know the truth. 577 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:40,720 Speaker 2: I'm glad you were taking care of yourself, sending a 578 00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:43,480 Speaker 2: biggest hug and get an SDI test just to be safe. 579 00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:45,080 Speaker 1: Opie says he does. 580 00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:47,880 Speaker 2: He continues to try, He continues to deny it, tries 581 00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,160 Speaker 2: to pass it off like she was some crazy girl 582 00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,400 Speaker 2: obsessed with him and lying to me. GJ Soccer says, 583 00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:56,920 Speaker 2: I mean even a lot, I mean even lies for shit, 584 00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:59,680 Speaker 2: Like if she was that crazy and obsessed, why spend 585 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,000 Speaker 2: the night there? Who the hell says, Oh, hey, crazy Soccer, 586 00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:05,440 Speaker 2: let's have a sleepover. So glad you are kicking his 587 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:08,400 Speaker 2: scumbag ass to the curb. Comfortable Echo ninety seven two 588 00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:10,360 Speaker 2: says been like this make me hate the world so 589 00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:13,200 Speaker 2: selfish they should be allowed to operate in society. I 590 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,520 Speaker 2: truly hope you heal and move on to a happier 591 00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:18,720 Speaker 2: and a healthier life than OPI responds to this last one. Ooh, 592 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:22,200 Speaker 2: Electrical CE six six five three says it will definitely 593 00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:24,520 Speaker 2: get better. You're so strong for leaving him. I'm really 594 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:26,840 Speaker 2: sorry this happened, but now you can begin your healing 595 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:30,520 Speaker 2: journey once the grief subsides. I'll never understand how people 596 00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,600 Speaker 2: can't be happy with their families or destroy so many 597 00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:37,880 Speaker 2: people's lives because of their selfishness, OPI responds, and that's 598 00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,560 Speaker 2: just it. Like, if you're not happy with me, that sucks, 599 00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:43,320 Speaker 2: but it is what it is. There was no need 600 00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:46,520 Speaker 2: to destroy multiple people along the way. It was unnecessary damage, 601 00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:49,960 Speaker 2: and I can't fathom it. I'm honestly just upset for 602 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,520 Speaker 2: the other girl as much as I am myself. She 603 00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,560 Speaker 2: had really rough she had a really rough past relationship, 604 00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:58,280 Speaker 2: and she opened up to this f stick just for 605 00:29:58,400 --> 00:29:59,640 Speaker 2: him to throw her under the bus. 606 00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:00,720 Speaker 1: Record two. 607 00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:05,520 Speaker 2: It literally makes me sick. And that's where it ends. 608 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:08,920 Speaker 2: At least, at least she laughed him. 609 00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:12,360 Speaker 1: At least yes, yes, my god, she got into full 610 00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:16,200 Speaker 1: Cia mode and just like made it happen and at 611 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:18,760 Speaker 1: least got the closure that she wanted and realized for sure, 612 00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:21,479 Speaker 1: for sure, I'm cutting this off and moving on. 613 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:28,320 Speaker 2: Bro is an idiot. Oh my guys, on lies dude. Wow, well, 614 00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:30,320 Speaker 2: ladies and gentlemen, that's where it ends.