WEBVTT - Pop Goes the Culture 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:05.359 Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast. 0:00:06.480 --> 0:00:09.280 All Right, girls, I feel so alone right now. Everyone's 0:00:09.280 --> 0:00:11.040 on their phone and I'm just staring at both of you. 0:00:11.920 --> 0:00:15.239 I have to make sure my facts correct. They're doing 0:00:15.280 --> 0:00:18.720 that because today is a pop culture topic day, and 0:00:20.480 --> 0:00:22.360 well we were just discussing and I'll say something to 0:00:22.520 --> 0:00:24.200 this year. I don't know if you guys have noticed, 0:00:24.280 --> 0:00:27.319 I haven't been on Instagram that much. I noticed. No 0:00:27.320 --> 0:00:27.800 one's noticed. 0:00:27.800 --> 0:00:28.240 I've noticed. 0:00:28.280 --> 0:00:32.519 I've noticed, well I'm not on, but I realized it 0:00:32.640 --> 0:00:36.319 just wasn't like I'm gonna obviously, but I just at 0:00:36.320 --> 0:00:40.400 the moment, it's just I just I'm so like in 0:00:40.440 --> 0:00:42.920 a bubble, in my sweet little bubble, and I'm like, 0:00:42.960 --> 0:00:46.199 I don't really feel like I need to show anything. 0:00:46.360 --> 0:00:49.760 And then also I just kind of like being not 0:00:49.920 --> 0:00:50.280 on there. 0:00:51.000 --> 0:00:51.560 That's great. 0:00:52.600 --> 0:00:55.880 And I don't scroll now too, so so I when 0:00:55.920 --> 0:00:58.760 I got the pop culture I was like, ooh, what's 0:00:58.800 --> 0:01:01.720 going on. That's exactly why I'm like, oh, and I 0:01:01.760 --> 0:01:02.920 get used to the island. 0:01:04.360 --> 0:01:06.520 I mean, I do get on Instagram, but I don't 0:01:06.560 --> 0:01:09.399 really I don't really like read like the peoples and 0:01:09.440 --> 0:01:10.479 the sweeklies and stuff. 0:01:10.480 --> 0:01:12.959 Like that. I used to, but I used. 0:01:12.840 --> 0:01:15.320 To too, and now I'm just like everyone's just so mean. 0:01:15.400 --> 0:01:18.120 I'm in all this stuff and I'm like, I'm not 0:01:18.160 --> 0:01:20.240 really getting anything out. Why why am I? Why am 0:01:20.280 --> 0:01:22.040 I going there to look at that? You know? 0:01:22.080 --> 0:01:24.600 So this time it's like, why do I need to 0:01:24.680 --> 0:01:25.039 know that? 0:01:25.480 --> 0:01:25.680 Yeah? 0:01:25.720 --> 0:01:27.560 I don't need to know all this information about these 0:01:27.560 --> 0:01:30.039 people's lives, right, So I'm just yeah, and. 0:01:30.000 --> 0:01:32.679 I think too, I don't know, it's there's a switch 0:01:32.720 --> 0:01:35.080 for this this new year. New Year knew me. But 0:01:35.920 --> 0:01:38.560 I just am not feeding. I'm not even going to 0:01:38.640 --> 0:01:43.520 bring up like because it doesn't matter, the hate the trolls. 0:01:43.560 --> 0:01:45.639 It's like I realized, I'm like, oh my god, nothing 0:01:45.800 --> 0:01:49.400 like it actually doesn't matter. It doesn't like I've let 0:01:49.480 --> 0:01:52.080 that affect me for so long for what reason. It 0:01:52.120 --> 0:01:54.280 was such like a shift in may to go and 0:01:54.320 --> 0:01:56.240 that was one of my resolutions to or goals to 0:01:56.560 --> 0:01:59.040 just like not even like let it bother me. And 0:01:59.040 --> 0:02:01.240 then I really just kind of saw with it. I'm like, 0:02:02.400 --> 0:02:05.120 I'm like, I just such a disservice to myself to 0:02:05.160 --> 0:02:09.200 even care well you, especially because they just really come 0:02:09.200 --> 0:02:10.920 and go hard on that. I'm like, not even gonna 0:02:10.960 --> 0:02:14.600 say like anything, like, I had this feeling and this 0:02:14.680 --> 0:02:17.760 may not be what you guys feel about it, but 0:02:17.760 --> 0:02:20.320 there's something to it. I had this moment at one 0:02:20.320 --> 0:02:22.040 point when I remember I was going to go post 0:02:22.160 --> 0:02:24.960 something and I was like, this feels like it cheapens 0:02:25.040 --> 0:02:30.000 the experience. It actually was, and I just was like, 0:02:30.639 --> 0:02:34.440 for who would I post that? For me? Or for 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:37.160 someone I like to keep mine pretty inspirational or pretty 0:02:37.200 --> 0:02:40.640 like real, or like join me in like the you know. Yeah, 0:02:40.880 --> 0:02:44.360 but I just was like that shows somebody something like 0:02:44.400 --> 0:02:47.480 what what is my reason? What's the why for doing that? 0:02:47.560 --> 0:02:51.840 And one I couldn't quite answer that either honestly or 0:02:52.040 --> 0:02:54.560 find a why or just didn't feel like it mattered. 0:02:54.600 --> 0:02:55.959 Then I was like, well that's kind of a waste 0:02:56.000 --> 0:03:00.200 of someone's grid. Yeah. So having said all, that is 0:03:00.240 --> 0:03:03.000 pop culture topics now and now I'm excited because it's 0:03:03.080 --> 0:03:05.800 juicy and I actually was like, ah, she did no way. 0:03:06.880 --> 0:03:09.639 So topic number one is Jessica Albert recalls incident with 0:03:09.720 --> 0:03:12.320 daughter Honor that led them to pursue therapy together. This 0:03:12.480 --> 0:03:14.959 is not fun, So I'm just going to kind of 0:03:15.040 --> 0:03:17.080 read you the background. Jessica Albo's opening upbout how she 0:03:17.160 --> 0:03:19.640 decided on therapy for herself and her two daughters. The 0:03:19.639 --> 0:03:22.520 mom of three forty two has always been open about 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:26.280 her family's mental health care. Appearing on the cover of 0:03:27.080 --> 0:03:30.560 Real Simples first ever Feeling issue for their January February edition, 0:03:30.960 --> 0:03:33.320 the actress an entrepreneur, calls how she came to the decision. 0:03:33.520 --> 0:03:36.200 So Honor was, she says, Honor was probably eleven, and 0:03:36.240 --> 0:03:38.520 we were arguing all the time about dum dumb stuff, 0:03:38.560 --> 0:03:40.000 and I was like, I don't want to live like this. 0:03:40.000 --> 0:03:42.680 This is not fun, she shares, she said, I don't. 0:03:42.960 --> 0:03:44.960 I didn't want us to have a wedge between us 0:03:45.040 --> 0:03:47.040 as her mother. When I say something, she's going to 0:03:47.040 --> 0:03:48.840 hear it as an argument or as me trying to 0:03:48.840 --> 0:03:50.680 control her. I wanted there to be someone who could 0:03:50.720 --> 0:03:53.640 explain things in a way I couldn't. What I said 0:03:53.640 --> 0:03:55.360 to Honor was I want to be a better parent 0:03:55.400 --> 0:03:57.440 to you, and this is your this is your form 0:03:57.520 --> 0:04:00.000 to basically talk about everything that gets on your nerves 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:02.680 that I do. Alba says it wasn't long until both 0:04:02.720 --> 0:04:04.800 she and Honor started to see how therapy could work 0:04:04.840 --> 0:04:07.040 for them. It put me in check, like, yeah, I 0:04:07.040 --> 0:04:09.080 totally do that, and I'm sorry, I'm going to work 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:11.280 on that. It gave her a little bit of perspective too, 0:04:11.320 --> 0:04:13.520 that I'm not the bad guy. I'm just being a parent. 0:04:14.080 --> 0:04:16.760 She'll come out, she'll come out the other side of it, 0:04:16.800 --> 0:04:18.800 and I'll still be here. I just wanted to get 0:04:18.800 --> 0:04:21.279 to that point and it worked, she admits, And the 0:04:21.279 --> 0:04:23.480 therapists allowed me to see that it's natural for kids 0:04:23.520 --> 0:04:26.479 to disagree with their parents, and as a parent, it's 0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:29.719 not always about being right or rational in that moment, 0:04:30.320 --> 0:04:33.080 she says. She concludes with saying, I'm not going to front. 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:35.680 It's a process and I'm not perfect, and so I 0:04:35.839 --> 0:04:41.960 love the fact that she's talking about this. So I'm 0:04:42.000 --> 0:04:43.680 curious for you guys, like, do you like the idea 0:04:43.680 --> 0:04:47.320 of seeing a therapist with your child? You know, do 0:04:47.320 --> 0:04:48.880 you wish you would have done it with your parents? 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:52.640 And would you consider doing it now with your parents 0:04:53.400 --> 0:04:56.640 or with your kids? Well, that's a lot of you 0:04:56.640 --> 0:04:59.560 go first with her, your parents are no. 0:05:00.120 --> 0:05:04.040 Well, my first thought to this whole thing was I 0:05:04.080 --> 0:05:05.719 don't think that it has to be done in a 0:05:05.800 --> 0:05:08.360 therapist office to have these conversations. Those are a lot 0:05:08.360 --> 0:05:12.040 of conversations that happen in our home currently. You know, 0:05:12.200 --> 0:05:14.440 I'm not doing this right. I am just trying to 0:05:14.480 --> 0:05:16.360 be a good parent, but I'm you know, so I 0:05:16.400 --> 0:05:19.960 think if if you need it, and if I felt 0:05:20.000 --> 0:05:22.000 like we needed someone to come in and point out 0:05:22.040 --> 0:05:24.359 when I'm doing things that I need to or to 0:05:24.440 --> 0:05:26.960 point out to the kids that I am just being 0:05:26.960 --> 0:05:29.480 a parent or whatever, sure, I think if it got 0:05:29.480 --> 0:05:32.279 to that point, we would do that. But I also 0:05:32.400 --> 0:05:35.360 do think that there's ways to have those healthy conversations 0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:37.400 on your own with your kids, and I think that 0:05:37.400 --> 0:05:41.120 that's something that everyone should be doing, you know, explaining 0:05:41.120 --> 0:05:42.680 to the kids, we're not always going to get it right. 0:05:42.680 --> 0:05:44.560 We're just trying to parent, We're trying to protect you. 0:05:44.920 --> 0:05:46.920 I'm sorry when I do it this. Blah blah blah 0:05:46.920 --> 0:05:52.320 blah blah. Would I have gone to therapy with my parents, No, 0:05:52.720 --> 0:05:55.480 there's no way. There's literally zero way. And what I 0:05:55.520 --> 0:05:58.039 would would I now? Nope, absolutely not. 0:05:58.360 --> 0:06:00.279 Well it was funny when I read this, I thought 0:06:00.279 --> 0:06:02.480 about you first, because Janna and I are still in 0:06:02.520 --> 0:06:06.200 like the younger years, yeah, you know, like the eights fives, 0:06:06.680 --> 0:06:09.120 and I thought, gosh, I don't know what I would 0:06:09.200 --> 0:06:11.600 do at eleven. I mean, I'll be honest with you. 0:06:11.680 --> 0:06:14.120 I'm we I am in struggle bus mode with a 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:16.760 five year old right now. We are in a mode 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:20.360 and I was like, maybe, like I had this moment 0:06:20.400 --> 0:06:22.159 the other day where I thought, well, maybe there needs 0:06:22.200 --> 0:06:23.719 to be like a third party to tell me, like 0:06:24.520 --> 0:06:27.000 to do something differently or better, just you know whatever, 0:06:27.080 --> 0:06:29.200 because I gosh, I feel like I'm so well rounded 0:06:29.240 --> 0:06:30.839 and I try to go thirty thousand feet, but I'm 0:06:30.880 --> 0:06:34.320 stir ruggling and these five five is hard. 0:06:34.360 --> 0:06:36.120 I remember five being a hard age, Thank you. 0:06:36.240 --> 0:06:39.320 Cat's all different, I specifically, and I remember because I 0:06:39.320 --> 0:06:41.320 remember when Ramsey and Jolie were both five. I remember 0:06:41.320 --> 0:06:48.040 having this conversation. But again, as they get older, yes, 0:06:48.120 --> 0:06:51.760 it's different. So I can see where therapy really especially 0:06:51.920 --> 0:06:54.159 might be needed. But yeah, I mean I think that 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:56.800 it's for whoever, you know, for each I know, like 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:00.000 one of my kids, he would probably, you know, the oldest, 0:07:00.120 --> 0:07:04.000 he'd probably never want to go. Emmy, who's twelve, she might. 0:07:04.240 --> 0:07:04.680 I don't know. 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:07.640 But we just have a lot of conversations about that stuff. 0:07:07.680 --> 0:07:12.680 We're just very open about it, and I think that 0:07:12.680 --> 0:07:14.320 that's kind of key for us at least. 0:07:14.400 --> 0:07:16.240 Do you think you got that from going to therapy. 0:07:17.800 --> 0:07:22.360 No, I think I got that from vowing to do 0:07:22.440 --> 0:07:27.400 it differently than how I grew up. I've just sworn 0:07:27.480 --> 0:07:32.960 to myself, and it really truly just started with saying sorry. 0:07:33.200 --> 0:07:36.200 That was my number one. You know, I do something, 0:07:36.280 --> 0:07:39.680 I yell, or I do something I wasn't proud of, 0:07:40.040 --> 0:07:41.640 then I get upset about it and I have this 0:07:41.800 --> 0:07:44.680 guilt and I always just like just say sorry. I 0:07:44.680 --> 0:07:47.360 would make myself say sorry, but that always opened it 0:07:47.440 --> 0:07:50.080 up to a bigger discussion and a bigger explanation and 0:07:50.120 --> 0:07:52.800 a bigger whatever. And I definitely still I mean, I'm 0:07:52.840 --> 0:07:54.760 still yeller, Like I'll still get to a point where 0:07:54.760 --> 0:07:56.760 I will yell at my kids when I've lost it, 0:07:56.800 --> 0:07:58.640 and I'm not proud of that, and that's something I'm 0:07:58.680 --> 0:08:02.560 really trying to work on. But we just have so 0:08:02.640 --> 0:08:05.840 much conversation around it that again, it's really just. 0:08:06.080 --> 0:08:09.560 So that this is kind of off topic, but just 0:08:09.560 --> 0:08:12.160 from something you said, and I'm just gonna pivot just 0:08:12.160 --> 0:08:16.400 for one second, because something happened the other day where 0:08:16.680 --> 0:08:19.760 I had asked, you know, I was like, Jolie, please 0:08:19.800 --> 0:08:23.720 turn that off. Noice. Jolie please turn that off. By 0:08:23.720 --> 0:08:25.520 the third time, I'm like, I'm like, I don't want to. 0:08:25.640 --> 0:08:27.880 I've said it now. The third like every time my 0:08:27.960 --> 0:08:29.640 voice is gonna I was like, please turn that off. 0:08:30.200 --> 0:08:31.960 And then it's like a little bit more and then 0:08:32.000 --> 0:08:34.760 like by I'm like I then she looks at me like, oh, 0:08:34.920 --> 0:08:37.000 like I I'm like, but I just said it nicely 0:08:37.000 --> 0:08:38.800 the first and you don't listen. Yeah, this is like 0:08:38.920 --> 0:08:43.040 and I'm like, is that Normalcuse I try to be like, 0:08:43.080 --> 0:08:45.720 I'm like, just I'm the first one. I'm saying, like, 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:48.080 I'm nicely saying I need you to listen. The second time, 0:08:48.080 --> 0:08:50.240 I'm like, it's a little more stern. Third time, Mommy's 0:08:50.400 --> 0:08:51.400 gonna get frustrated. 0:08:51.520 --> 0:08:54.320 And like, so I think of what I've learned in 0:08:54.440 --> 0:08:57.240 my mind for that, but I don't always practice it. 0:08:57.520 --> 0:09:01.520 Two completely different things. We're also doing something wrong in 0:09:01.559 --> 0:09:04.960 that sense that an expert may say differently. But I 0:09:04.960 --> 0:09:08.080 think what would work easier in that situation was, you know, Jolie, 0:09:08.080 --> 0:09:10.440 please turn that off. Well, when she doesn't listen that 0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:13.520 first time, going getting on her level, getting eye level 0:09:13.559 --> 0:09:15.640 with her and saying I need you to please turn 0:09:15.679 --> 0:09:18.680 this off, and then it would probably change, I think, 0:09:19.040 --> 0:09:21.280 but we get so busy and we're doing things, and 0:09:21.320 --> 0:09:23.480 we're doing that, and then we're frustrated because we asked 0:09:23.520 --> 0:09:25.560 them to do something three times, you know, And so 0:09:26.160 --> 0:09:28.360 I think that that's partly on us as well. 0:09:28.800 --> 0:09:33.200 I'm gonna probably regret saying this, but so I shouldn't 0:09:33.240 --> 0:09:37.960 even start. But but here goes well because I think 0:09:38.400 --> 0:09:41.280 we're such a different kind of generation of parent. Like 0:09:42.280 --> 0:09:44.840 for me personally, the way I was raised was out 0:09:44.840 --> 0:09:48.360 of fear, like if you told me to turn that off, 0:09:48.840 --> 0:09:50.440 not one, or I'm going to get the death stair 0:09:50.920 --> 0:09:54.560 or hit with something like it was eggshell walking, So 0:09:54.720 --> 0:09:59.360 it wasn't I didn't. I sometimes have this moment where 0:09:59.400 --> 0:10:03.920 I'm like, I kind of love not sometimes in the moment, 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:06.360 but I'm sometimes later like, gosh, I love that they're 0:10:06.440 --> 0:10:10.199 like I don't want to because they can say that 0:10:10.280 --> 0:10:14.480 to me. I could never say anything. I've operated out 0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:18.480 of fear. It was like yes, sir, no, sir, it's 0:10:18.480 --> 0:10:20.520 the soap, because I've got the soap before Budge and 0:10:20.640 --> 0:10:23.680 Breast might have. Also, I'm gonna get dreamed. 0:10:24.080 --> 0:10:27.319 I don't what I think we've talked. I feel like 0:10:27.360 --> 0:10:28.440 you I mean. 0:10:28.480 --> 0:10:34.080 I'm sorry. I know, there's just I think where I'm 0:10:34.080 --> 0:10:36.679 at right now is there's this really fine line in 0:10:36.800 --> 0:10:39.680 parenting for me. You're shocked, Are you shaming me? I'm 0:10:39.880 --> 0:10:43.760 I'm I'm processing. I'm trying. I'm honest, I'm trying not 0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:45.920 to judge me or process. 0:10:48.679 --> 0:10:50.920 No, no, no, I think she mays judge you, but she's 0:10:50.960 --> 0:10:51.720 going to take that back. 0:10:51.880 --> 0:10:58.880 Okay, it's damn it, but not judge. They do not 0:10:58.960 --> 0:11:00.400 judge because I know you, like you know what I mean, 0:11:00.400 --> 0:11:02.440 Like I've yelled where you've done things and like you 0:11:02.440 --> 0:11:05.800 know you wouldn't have done so no judgment. Yeah, it's crazy. 0:11:05.920 --> 0:11:07.360 So I just had to think of soap when I 0:11:07.400 --> 0:11:11.679 was like seven, Well he's five and he's a If 0:11:11.720 --> 0:11:13.440 I'm honest, I love him so much. You guys, I'm 0:11:13.440 --> 0:11:15.920 telling you I quite possibly might be raising the president 0:11:15.960 --> 0:11:17.720 of the United States. And I'm not even kidding. He's 0:11:17.720 --> 0:11:21.640 that kind of like leader, unapologetically the one that rides bike. 0:11:22.280 --> 0:11:27.720 So WHOA. That was damn much. No judgment, just physical ability. 0:11:27.800 --> 0:11:30.320 It was I think it was. It's just like I 0:11:30.400 --> 0:11:33.000 try to run this ride this fine line of like 0:11:33.920 --> 0:11:37.480 what what we had preserving the o genus of some 0:11:37.520 --> 0:11:41.240 of the ways we were raised and also implementing this 0:11:41.320 --> 0:11:43.600 layer of like, actually you can feel and you can 0:11:43.640 --> 0:11:47.079 tell me some things and I want you to. Yeah. 0:11:47.160 --> 0:11:49.240 Well, I think there's a balance there because at the 0:11:49.320 --> 0:11:51.400 end of the day, we do need them to listen 0:11:51.440 --> 0:11:53.360 to us and do what we've asked them to do. 0:11:53.520 --> 0:11:55.720 We have to because it's also a lot of safety. 0:11:55.840 --> 0:12:00.360 But if they don't fear at all, and I'll go 0:12:00.400 --> 0:12:02.679 back to it and I'm gonna take I'm gonna take 0:12:02.679 --> 0:12:03.040 this back. 0:12:03.320 --> 0:12:03.760 I don't know. 0:12:03.800 --> 0:12:06.000 I struggle with this as well, because do we need 0:12:06.040 --> 0:12:09.360 them to have no fear whatsoever there's no consequence if 0:12:09.360 --> 0:12:12.839 they have to because I mean, I'm saying that now 0:12:13.000 --> 0:12:16.079 as high school kids, like I know the ones whose 0:12:16.120 --> 0:12:18.920 parents don't, they have no fear that they know they're 0:12:18.960 --> 0:12:19.640 gonna go do something. 0:12:19.720 --> 0:12:21.040 There's no consequence at home. 0:12:21.280 --> 0:12:24.320 So that's where that's a hard balance for me, Like 0:12:24.720 --> 0:12:28.200 it does to me, start with something so small as 0:12:28.240 --> 0:12:30.320 turn the TV off. I don't want them to be 0:12:30.360 --> 0:12:32.880 fearful of me, but I need them to know that like, 0:12:33.520 --> 0:12:35.280 if you're not going to do what I'm ask on 0:12:35.360 --> 0:12:39.160 bigger scales where there's gonna be consequences. 0:12:38.600 --> 0:12:41.000 When kids like developmentally, like I went to school for 0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:44.120 early childhood first, and you learn really quickly, like they 0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:46.600 need discipline. They need to know the boundaries that's feel 0:12:46.679 --> 0:12:48.880 safe to them, because if it's a big, wild world, 0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:51.319 it doesn't feel safe to them. Yeah. So I always 0:12:51.360 --> 0:12:54.720 try to operate with this like mentality of I always 0:12:54.760 --> 0:12:56.720 call it like the yard in my brain, not like 0:12:56.960 --> 0:12:59.480 not like the yard in a jail, but like it's 0:12:59.520 --> 0:13:01.120 like they need to know where the fence line is. 0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:02.800 They need to know where you can be pushed to. 0:13:02.880 --> 0:13:04.360 They need to know what's not safe. Like if you're 0:13:04.400 --> 0:13:07.120 not listening to me for anything, then when it is 0:13:07.160 --> 0:13:08.720 about your safety, you won't listen either. 0:13:08.880 --> 0:13:11.040 Yeah mm hmm. It's just it's a hard balance. 0:13:11.120 --> 0:13:13.160 So then would you go to therapy with your kid 0:13:14.000 --> 0:13:18.040 to talk through these steps. I would go to therapy 0:13:18.080 --> 0:13:20.920 with anyone. I love therapy. I would go just because 0:13:21.000 --> 0:13:26.080 I think for someone like well, for the kids, the separation, 0:13:26.320 --> 0:13:28.680 I always want them to I always want to check 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:32.000 in with that. I also feel like Jolie is a 0:13:32.040 --> 0:13:35.440 lot like her dad where she doesn't express her feelings, 0:13:35.520 --> 0:13:38.839 whereas Jace is a little bit more open to sharing 0:13:38.840 --> 0:13:41.480 feelings at the moment at five. But Jolie is she's 0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:44.600 such a people pleaser, like she just wants and deaths 0:13:44.600 --> 0:13:46.960 where she's like, you know, she shews everyone to be happy. 0:13:47.080 --> 0:13:48.920 So she's like, Mommy, we'll do that, like if that's 0:13:48.920 --> 0:13:51.280 makes it. I'm like, baby, do you want to do that? Honey? 0:13:51.600 --> 0:13:54.000 You don't need to Well, I like both how like anytime, 0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:55.559 like Jace has a mood and he's like, I like 0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:57.480 Daddy's hous better, or I like you know, or he 0:13:57.920 --> 0:14:00.120 you know Michael Kalmbick, well, he sees like you. He 0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:02.160 wants to be says, you know, here's not a good 0:14:02.200 --> 0:14:03.839 you know, I don't want to be here. And I'm 0:14:03.880 --> 0:14:06.120 like he's five and he's being whatever. But Joe was like, 0:14:06.240 --> 0:14:08.040 I love both places. And I'm like, honey, you don't 0:14:08.040 --> 0:14:09.760 need to say that. I love you for like saying. 0:14:09.880 --> 0:14:11.360 But I was like, I just I want her to 0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:13.160 be able to have a place where she can because 0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:15.080 I'm like, I just I see her in her mind 0:14:15.160 --> 0:14:16.920 just always like thinking maybe that's just her age. But 0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:18.440 I'm like, are you good baby field her, you know, 0:14:18.440 --> 0:14:21.000 because I just I'm like, they have so much they're 0:14:21.040 --> 0:14:22.680 thinking I'm like I want her to go talk it 0:14:22.720 --> 0:14:24.080 all out, you know, and if that needs to be 0:14:24.080 --> 0:14:25.320 me in the room or me out of the room, 0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:28.680 like I've definitely and I think there are some things too, 0:14:28.800 --> 0:14:32.320 like learning stuff like maybe with maybe her might the 0:14:32.360 --> 0:14:35.000 slexia or the ADHD like that, I need to learn 0:14:35.040 --> 0:14:36.920 tools to how to maybe talk to her better too, 0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:37.720 you know. 0:14:37.840 --> 0:14:38.960 So that's a good point. 0:14:39.080 --> 0:14:41.040 And I'm talking to Amy about that because I'm like, 0:14:41.040 --> 0:14:42.800 I don't feel like a ride her a lot, but 0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:44.840 it's because I don't think we're like but I think 0:14:44.840 --> 0:14:47.320 she might need, you know, I don't there's something that 0:14:47.360 --> 0:14:49.000 I think she needs to be. I should really just 0:14:49.000 --> 0:14:50.880 start having joint sessions. Because Amy and I just had 0:14:50.920 --> 0:14:53.160 this compage. So she's like, I think she should do. 0:14:53.200 --> 0:14:54.960 I'm like, no, I do, And I'm having her being 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:56.640 evaluated too, like because. 0:14:56.560 --> 0:14:57.840 Well, like I don't think that. 0:14:57.960 --> 0:14:59.800 Like for a very good example of that, it's like 0:14:59.840 --> 0:15:02.720 I I don't think Emmy's ADHD, but I have figured 0:15:02.720 --> 0:15:05.240 out we're twelve years in on her life, you know, 0:15:05.360 --> 0:15:07.880 Like Kayden, I can say I need you to do one, two, three, 0:15:07.920 --> 0:15:11.200 four five. It's done in ten minutes to any old 0:15:11.200 --> 0:15:13.760 I say one yeah, if I say one, two, three, 0:15:13.880 --> 0:15:16.680 she'll come back and be like what was Like, she 0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:19.440 legitimately can't, and so like I've learned, I have to 0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:21.880 ask her one thing, focus on the one thing, and 0:15:21.920 --> 0:15:24.120 then come back to me. Okay, now I need you 0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:24.760 to do this. 0:15:24.680 --> 0:15:26.640 Because we're we get upsided like how do you not remember? 0:15:27.080 --> 0:15:29.840 But I'm like, oh, she just physically can't. Yeah. 0:15:29.920 --> 0:15:31.800 So see, I think you learned that with each child too. 0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:34.800 Whether there's ADHD there or not, maybe there's tendencies. I 0:15:34.800 --> 0:15:37.480 don't know, but she cannot focus on a list of 0:15:37.520 --> 0:15:39.760 things to do at once in her head. 0:15:39.960 --> 0:15:42.200 Me neither. Would you go with your parents to therapy 0:15:42.920 --> 0:15:51.760 at this age of your life, Kristin, I, well, I'm 0:15:51.760 --> 0:15:53.640 down to one parent. I would have loved to go 0:15:53.680 --> 0:15:55.520 on therapy with my dad so that I could have 0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:58.040 done some reckoning this side of heaven, because I think 0:15:58.080 --> 0:15:59.560 that there's a lot of things I wish I could 0:15:59.600 --> 0:16:02.400 have said to her that I didn't get to say 0:16:02.640 --> 0:16:06.840 that would have felt good for him to hear. I 0:16:06.880 --> 0:16:12.440 am a firm believer though, that the listening is almost 0:16:12.560 --> 0:16:15.160 more important than the talking, and I don't know that 0:16:15.200 --> 0:16:19.080 I have any listening parents left in this moment just 0:16:19.240 --> 0:16:23.200 for their The point in my mom's grief journey is 0:16:23.560 --> 0:16:25.880 just really I'm just very observant right now, and I 0:16:25.920 --> 0:16:27.680 don't know that she is in a listening face, she 0:16:27.760 --> 0:16:33.120 is in a living pace, she is gone busy, you know, 0:16:33.240 --> 0:16:36.000 and I just don't know. Well, I think again, it 0:16:36.000 --> 0:16:37.520 comes to a time where you just have to what 0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:41.080 Amy has told us is you have to almost accept 0:16:41.120 --> 0:16:42.600 them for who they are at this point, you know, 0:16:42.640 --> 0:16:45.600 because they haven't done therapy before, or it'd be hard 0:16:45.640 --> 0:16:47.840 to start at this point. Yeah, and I think I've 0:16:47.920 --> 0:16:51.000 made peace with I've definitely made peace with my dad 0:16:51.680 --> 0:16:53.880 my mom. I've recently come to piece that, you know, 0:16:53.920 --> 0:16:56.560 we might just might not be of what I've wanted 0:16:56.600 --> 0:16:59.800 for either one of our relationships. But I can now go, Okay, 0:17:00.680 --> 0:17:02.360 I can choose to have a good relationship here. I 0:17:02.400 --> 0:17:04.680 just have to just have no expectations on X, Y 0:17:04.720 --> 0:17:08.760 and Z, and I can live with that. So I 0:17:08.840 --> 0:17:11.520 read this was really great quote, and I was hoping 0:17:11.560 --> 0:17:14.639 I could find it for you. But essentially for younger listeners, 0:17:14.760 --> 0:17:17.160 I will just say I do regret not doing something 0:17:17.640 --> 0:17:20.080 with my parents at a younger age because I had 0:17:20.080 --> 0:17:23.000 spent so many years resenting like my father for example, 0:17:23.160 --> 0:17:26.240 or you know, so I think that then contributed to 0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:30.120 potential relationships in my belief in myself from the lack 0:17:30.160 --> 0:17:35.560 of what I thought he believed in me. Oh sure, yeah, 0:17:35.600 --> 0:17:39.120 so yeah this quote I read, I just felt like it. 0:17:39.200 --> 0:17:41.600 Maybe this will go somewhere with both of you. It 0:17:41.640 --> 0:17:44.199 says she accepts people as they are, but places them 0:17:44.200 --> 0:18:01.280 where they belong. Topic number two. Shana Kler is Travis 0:18:01.320 --> 0:18:04.359 Barker's ex wife, and she's accusing Travis and Courtney of 0:18:04.560 --> 0:18:08.439 parenting alienation. So Shana is sharing new details about her 0:18:08.480 --> 0:18:10.800 co parenting relationship with Travis Barker. We just start with 0:18:10.800 --> 0:18:13.800 saying co parenting is so challenging, so empathy there for 0:18:14.000 --> 0:18:17.000 just the table. In a preview clip of Wednesday's upcoming 0:18:17.040 --> 0:18:19.399 episode of The Dumb Blonde Podcast obtained by The New 0:18:19.480 --> 0:18:22.480 York Post, Page Mochler forty eight, talked with host Bunny 0:18:22.600 --> 0:18:25.919 XO about her relationship with ex husband Barker, alleging that 0:18:26.000 --> 0:18:30.080 he and his wife, Courtney Kardashian have been trying to 0:18:30.280 --> 0:18:33.119 one up her as a parent. So Mochler shares her 0:18:33.119 --> 0:18:36.439 son Landon and daughter Alabama twenty and eighteen with Travis. 0:18:36.480 --> 0:18:39.280 She's also a mom to daughter a Tiana twenty four, 0:18:39.320 --> 0:18:41.520 whom she shares with her ex Oscar de Lahoya. I 0:18:41.520 --> 0:18:44.400 didn't know that. I didn't either until today. I'm savvy 0:18:44.560 --> 0:18:47.440 and knew whom Travis helped raise. So Mochler called the 0:18:47.520 --> 0:18:51.880 Kardashians disgusting, saying I removed myself so that they couldn't 0:18:51.960 --> 0:18:56.639 bond over my children hating me. Go do what you 0:18:56.680 --> 0:18:58.439 need to do, and when you're ready, I'll be her, 0:18:58.480 --> 0:19:00.480