WEBVTT - Crowdsourcing Your Marriage with Natasha Leggero 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:04.360 Hi everybody. Hi, Hello Chelsea. If you're listening to this 0:00:04.400 --> 0:00:06.360 on Thursday, I'm on my way to Tampa, Florida for 0:00:06.400 --> 0:00:09.240 two shows tonight in Tampa, Florida. And if you're listening 0:00:09.280 --> 0:00:11.000 to it and you want to come tomorrow night, I'm 0:00:11.000 --> 0:00:14.520 in Fort Myers. Friday night and Saturday night I'm in 0:00:14.640 --> 0:00:19.000 Daytona Beach, and Sunday night I'm in Hollywood, Florida. So 0:00:19.079 --> 0:00:23.279 that is five shows this weekend. Holy fo sky Doodle. 0:00:23.640 --> 0:00:26.120 Tickets are available a Chelsea Handler dot com. So whatever 0:00:26.160 --> 0:00:28.760 Democrats are left in that state, I'm coming and this 0:00:28.840 --> 0:00:31.280 is the last leg of my tour and then my 0:00:31.400 --> 0:00:37.320 special ist airing. It's official December Netflix everybody. It's called Revolution. 0:00:37.800 --> 0:00:43.240 That's so exciting. I know. I'm so happy, Chelsea. Yeah, 0:00:43.479 --> 0:00:47.400 I can't wait. Ah yeah, we love Netflix. Netflix in Chill. 0:00:48.800 --> 0:00:51.239 I haven't done five shows in a few months. I'm 0:00:51.240 --> 0:00:53.200 going to have to figure out what my alcohol game 0:00:53.240 --> 0:00:57.279 plan is because I'm on a pre holiday buzz. You're 0:00:57.280 --> 0:00:59.440 gonna have to get some of those patches, those pre 0:00:59.560 --> 0:01:02.800 drinking patches. Oh yeah, I tried the awake ones, those 0:01:02.840 --> 0:01:04.960 patches that we're supposed to give you. Buzz I felt 0:01:04.959 --> 0:01:07.399 like that worked a little bit. I like that. I 0:01:07.480 --> 0:01:11.560 like an awake thing that's not caffeine. Yeah, right right, 0:01:11.600 --> 0:01:14.080 I don't. I don't respond well to caffeine. Plus, I 0:01:14.120 --> 0:01:16.240 take etcetera a lot in the morning when I wake up. 0:01:16.360 --> 0:01:19.760 That's kind of my coffee. It's a great habit. You 0:01:19.760 --> 0:01:21.640 guys might want to pick that up. Okay, if you're 0:01:21.680 --> 0:01:25.720 listening from your health guru, Dr Chelsea Handler Man, I 0:01:25.840 --> 0:01:28.280 used to have to take so much Exceedrian, I used 0:01:28.280 --> 0:01:30.840 to get headaches, like almost every single day. Really, I 0:01:30.880 --> 0:01:34.200 did some cleans stuff to like detox if I honestly, 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:38.600 detoxification baths really helped with that. What are those so 0:01:38.640 --> 0:01:41.640 you get in a bath like as yeah, ep, some 0:01:41.720 --> 0:01:48.440 salt sometimes some activated charcoal and a little lavender with 0:01:48.480 --> 0:01:50.720 an end at the end or an end some some 0:01:50.920 --> 0:01:56.080 Oh I thought it was ex on salt. That's okay. 0:01:56.200 --> 0:01:59.480 I have a follow up, okay, great, yeah, okay, Well 0:01:59.520 --> 0:02:05.360 this is from Courtney. Oh I wish Courtney with a C. 0:02:05.840 --> 0:02:08.919 And she was following up after our Mushrooms and Majorca 0:02:09.040 --> 0:02:13.560 episode about the caller Lisa, who was thinking about maybe 0:02:13.560 --> 0:02:16.400 moving to New York and having a new adventure at forty, 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:18.919 and she says, Hi, I'm listening to the Mushrooms in 0:02:18.960 --> 0:02:22.640 mayorka episode and just heard the caller Lisa talk about 0:02:22.680 --> 0:02:25.560 making the leap and moving to NYC. I came to 0:02:25.639 --> 0:02:28.920 NYC from San Francisco six years ago for what was 0:02:28.919 --> 0:02:31.520 supposed to be three months, and I never left. I 0:02:31.600 --> 0:02:34.760 found a great community here, especially during the pandemic, and 0:02:34.800 --> 0:02:38.400 I absolutely love the freedom, energy culture, and of course 0:02:38.560 --> 0:02:42.200 the bars and restaurants. As I was listening to Lisa's concerns, 0:02:42.280 --> 0:02:45.760 I realized I should offer to connect two main reasons. 0:02:46.000 --> 0:02:49.480 I'm a professional, single, child free forty two year old 0:02:49.600 --> 0:02:52.000 with great contacts here and would love to help her 0:02:52.040 --> 0:02:54.640 settle in. I've moved around on my own a lot 0:02:55.000 --> 0:02:57.400 l A, Chicago, s F, d C, n y C, 0:02:57.880 --> 0:03:00.560 and it can be daunting but also rewarding, and especially 0:03:00.639 --> 0:03:04.200 rewarding when surrounded by good people too. I also travel 0:03:04.320 --> 0:03:06.160 quite a bit, and if she wants to try NYC 0:03:06.360 --> 0:03:08.760 on for size, she can stay in my place for free. 0:03:08.800 --> 0:03:12.320 If she's willing to watch my adorable dog Cheat, feel 0:03:12.360 --> 0:03:14.440 free to pass along my email to her, which I did. 0:03:14.720 --> 0:03:17.600 I'm happy to help her explore NYC options. Love your 0:03:17.600 --> 0:03:19.920 podcast Chelsea, and you always make me feel better for 0:03:19.960 --> 0:03:23.400 being independent, strong and single. You also gave me hope 0:03:23.400 --> 0:03:26.200 for finding true love. Dating has been a defeating process 0:03:26.240 --> 0:03:28.359 for me, and you remind me to stay open while 0:03:28.360 --> 0:03:31.480 also continually working to better myself. Thank you both for 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:36.680 the weekly company. Courtney, what autie. That's sweet? I just 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:40.520 love it. We get emails back sometimes based on callers 0:03:40.520 --> 0:03:43.119 who have called in or emails saying I can help 0:03:43.160 --> 0:03:44.840 with this or I can connect them with someone, and 0:03:44.840 --> 0:03:47.240 it is just so lovely. There's actually a little bit 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:52.760 of a community. This sweet. That's really lovely. Thank you Courtney, 0:03:52.760 --> 0:03:55.240 and think with the C I appreciate that. I think, 0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:57.600 Dear Chelsea, listeners are the best listeners. I know they are. 0:03:57.600 --> 0:04:00.680 They're really nice. Everyone's so nice, and everyone's so well kempt, 0:04:01.720 --> 0:04:03.560 you know what I mean. Welcomed with an M. I 0:04:04.120 --> 0:04:07.600 appreciate that. Yeah, okay, So our special guest today is 0:04:07.680 --> 0:04:10.840 my very dear old friend. She is the host of 0:04:10.880 --> 0:04:14.240 the Endless Honeymoon podcast, which she hosts with her husband 0:04:14.280 --> 0:04:17.440 Mosha Kasher, and her book, which is now out. It's 0:04:17.480 --> 0:04:22.279 called The World Deserves My Children and It's So funny. Actress, comedian, 0:04:22.360 --> 0:04:25.800 and author Natasha la Jarro. I tel, Oh, my god, 0:04:25.920 --> 0:04:28.159 how happy am I to be talking about this book 0:04:28.160 --> 0:04:30.960 that is finally coming out. You helped me every step 0:04:31.000 --> 0:04:32.839 of the way. I couldn't find a title. You gave 0:04:32.880 --> 0:04:37.279 me great advice. You you helped me because you're natural 0:04:37.320 --> 0:04:40.320 book writer and you're a voracious reader. So I feel 0:04:40.360 --> 0:04:43.640 like you deserve all this book success. Like this is 0:04:43.720 --> 0:04:46.360 so hard for me, Like I hated it. That's why 0:04:46.400 --> 0:04:49.160 you deserve the success too, when it's hard work, right. 0:04:49.520 --> 0:04:51.440 It took me like two and a half years, and 0:04:51.480 --> 0:04:53.720 it's just like, was not the kind of writing I 0:04:53.800 --> 0:04:56.000 was used to doing. And someone gave me the advice 0:04:56.000 --> 0:04:57.800 that it's more like an accordion, you know, Like so 0:04:57.839 --> 0:05:00.240 if I have a story as a stand up like 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:02.200 this punchy thing where I'm trying to get right to 0:05:02.200 --> 0:05:05.240 the joke, where the book is like spreading it out 0:05:05.279 --> 0:05:07.279 and thinking about it from all these different ways. So 0:05:07.440 --> 0:05:10.680 it was very taxing but very rewarding. But I think 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:13.440 that's one of the best things about when comedians write books, 0:05:13.600 --> 0:05:15.919 is that it's like stand up you know. Like I 0:05:15.960 --> 0:05:18.560 remember the first book I ever wrote. I sent it 0:05:18.560 --> 0:05:21.640 to my manager who's no longer my manager because I 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:24.800 can't keepe a relationship going. And he was like, you 0:05:24.880 --> 0:05:27.480 write just like you talk, and I was like oh, 0:05:27.560 --> 0:05:29.760 and he said that like an aside, like it wasn't 0:05:29.800 --> 0:05:32.240 a good thing. And then as I learned, going through 0:05:32.279 --> 0:05:34.880 the writing process so many times with so many different editors, 0:05:35.080 --> 0:05:37.720 that is your biggest strength is writing like you talk. 0:05:37.800 --> 0:05:40.080 Because stand ups are writers. That's what we do is 0:05:40.200 --> 0:05:42.320 we write what we say. So to put that into 0:05:42.320 --> 0:05:45.640 a book, I understand the accordion kind of analogy. Also 0:05:45.720 --> 0:05:47.440 because you do have to you know, you can't just 0:05:47.520 --> 0:05:50.919 be writing jokes, jokes, jokes, jokes, of course, but also 0:05:51.080 --> 0:05:53.280 as a comedian, our caliber of jokes is a little 0:05:53.320 --> 0:05:56.599 higher than the average person writing a book no offense. 0:05:56.839 --> 0:05:59.440 So it's like they're funnier. Your books are funny. A 0:05:59.560 --> 0:06:01.960 comedian books are always funnier, and you can get them 0:06:01.960 --> 0:06:05.120 on audio and listen to them, you know. And this 0:06:05.160 --> 0:06:09.320 book is called The World Deserves My Children, and which 0:06:09.360 --> 0:06:11.120 is a fucking awesome title. And I want to tell 0:06:11.160 --> 0:06:13.720 you guys that I have read a lot of parenting books. 0:06:14.279 --> 0:06:18.719 I don't ask me fucking why. I don't know why actually, 0:06:18.760 --> 0:06:20.880 because I'm just curious about what I read What to 0:06:20.920 --> 0:06:23.720 Expect When You when You're Expecting because it's so cute. 0:06:24.160 --> 0:06:26.800 I just because I want to know what everyone's talking about. 0:06:27.360 --> 0:06:29.400 But I want I draw the line at watching the Housewives. 0:06:29.400 --> 0:06:31.240 I can't watch the Housewives. That's one thing I can 0:06:31.279 --> 0:06:34.039 miss out about that everyone's doing. But yeah, but this 0:06:34.120 --> 0:06:37.560 is the funniest parenting book that you will read. It 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:40.320 is so funny. It made me laugh out loud. I 0:06:40.360 --> 0:06:42.280 was on a plane. I mean I picked it up 0:06:42.279 --> 0:06:43.880 to read a couple of chapters and I finished the 0:06:43.880 --> 0:06:46.520 whole thing on a plane ride because it's so good. Yes, 0:06:47.560 --> 0:06:49.599 I mean, I'm really psyched for people to read this 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:52.200 because every fucking parent can relate to so much of 0:06:52.240 --> 0:06:55.000 this ship. And if you're not a parent, you're gonna 0:06:55.000 --> 0:06:56.920 be so grateful that you didn't have children when you 0:06:56.960 --> 0:06:59.440 read this, because even if you're not a parent, this 0:06:59.560 --> 0:07:02.000 is worth three eating. It's just so fucking funny. And 0:07:02.000 --> 0:07:04.200 the way you talk about Mosha, which is her husband, 0:07:04.520 --> 0:07:06.800 and if you listen to her podcast, you can hear 0:07:06.920 --> 0:07:09.600 both her and her husband. It's called the Endless Honeymoon Podcast, 0:07:09.720 --> 0:07:11.760 where she and her husband basically just bitch and moan 0:07:11.840 --> 0:07:14.160 to each other about each other. No, I try to 0:07:14.240 --> 0:07:16.960 use the podcast well we also, you know, listen to 0:07:17.000 --> 0:07:19.600 people's secrets and give some advice. But I also use 0:07:19.640 --> 0:07:21.680 it as a way to hijack him with issues I 0:07:21.720 --> 0:07:24.640 have with him, and then we can sort of crowdsource 0:07:24.680 --> 0:07:29.320 it and I always win, right often. Yeah, And in 0:07:29.360 --> 0:07:32.480 the book, you go after him in a very very 0:07:32.520 --> 0:07:34.800 funny way. And I remember I was texting with you 0:07:34.840 --> 0:07:37.040 and You're like, is it too harsh? And I was 0:07:37.080 --> 0:07:39.360 like no, but and and the at the end, you 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:43.520 give him a platform to actually he talks about his 0:07:43.600 --> 0:07:49.640 experience parenting because he thinks he knows everything. So I'm like, 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:51.600 what do you think being a mother is all about? 0:07:51.640 --> 0:07:53.320 And what do you think being a father is all about? 0:07:53.400 --> 0:07:56.920 And he really actually learned from our conversation. I did too. 0:07:57.000 --> 0:07:59.200 I thought it was a good illustration of who he 0:07:59.320 --> 0:08:02.000 is is that you know, his kind of character, that 0:08:02.120 --> 0:08:04.800 he's in charge of more of the fun because it 0:08:04.880 --> 0:08:07.240 has been an issue because I feel like I used 0:08:07.280 --> 0:08:09.400 to be this person like you, full of Juada viv 0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:11.680 and would go to Africa to drop of a hat 0:08:11.720 --> 0:08:14.200 and you know, yeah, sure, pump vaccines up and down 0:08:14.200 --> 0:08:17.160 my arms and go to Thailand and river rafting without 0:08:17.160 --> 0:08:20.160 a helmet, and now I'm like completely paralyzed with fear 0:08:20.880 --> 0:08:22.480 and I hate it and I want to get back 0:08:22.480 --> 0:08:26.960 to like pre motherhood Natasha, but I've changed a little bit. 0:08:27.040 --> 0:08:29.480 So it's just sort of like grappling with that a 0:08:29.520 --> 0:08:32.320 little bit and and trying to get back to just 0:08:32.480 --> 0:08:37.679 parentings degrading Chelsea. It's you know what, it feels demoralizing. 0:08:38.040 --> 0:08:42.040 I remember in a good way that I bet, but 0:08:42.280 --> 0:08:44.280 I remember coming over to your house one day it 0:08:44.360 --> 0:08:47.199 was pouring rain and I went over on a whim 0:08:47.320 --> 0:08:48.800 for some reason. We were texting. I'm like, oh, I 0:08:48.800 --> 0:08:50.880 can come over right now, and I drove over a 0:08:50.920 --> 0:08:54.480 house and I met your baby for the first time 0:08:54.679 --> 0:08:56.840 and we were in the playroom, and I remember just 0:08:56.920 --> 0:09:01.080 seeing your life how it had transformed like this baby. 0:09:01.120 --> 0:09:03.600 If she walked, you know, Natasha had to walk after her. 0:09:03.880 --> 0:09:05.440 If she walked out of the room, Natasha had to 0:09:05.440 --> 0:09:07.280 walk out of the room. If it was it was 0:09:07.320 --> 0:09:09.440 just like that age where you can't leave them alone 0:09:09.480 --> 0:09:12.320 for two seconds. And I remember just going, oh, fuck, 0:09:12.840 --> 0:09:15.160 like this is a total life change. Did you pity 0:09:15.200 --> 0:09:17.240 me a little bit? I did? I felt sorry for you. 0:09:17.520 --> 0:09:19.960 I just felt like, oh, this is because I I 0:09:20.000 --> 0:09:22.400 just always related to myself and if I were in 0:09:22.440 --> 0:09:24.360 that situation and I just would not be able to 0:09:24.400 --> 0:09:26.640 handle it. But kids love you because I've seen you 0:09:26.679 --> 0:09:29.880 around kids and you're like a magnet. Well sometimes sometimes 0:09:29.920 --> 0:09:32.240 all your nieces and nephews like well, I mean, they 0:09:32.280 --> 0:09:35.280 love me for different reasons. You know, I do like 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:39.480 kids when they have something to offer. You know, we're 0:09:39.559 --> 0:09:43.280 mostly just sucking from your life for but in a 0:09:43.320 --> 0:09:47.160 way that you're happy for, I guess. So tell me 0:09:47.200 --> 0:09:50.400 about when you became a parent. Tell me about your 0:09:50.440 --> 0:09:54.480 relationships with your friends that aren't parents. Did those change 0:09:54.480 --> 0:09:57.400 at all? Did you find yourself becoming friends with more 0:09:57.440 --> 0:10:00.880 people that had children or closer to those? I mean, 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:03.120 I think it's I don't know, it's really hard having 0:10:03.160 --> 0:10:06.920 an only child because I'm I'm a little overactively trying 0:10:06.960 --> 0:10:09.520 to make sure she has some deep connections with some 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:12.600 people I don't know, Like she doesn't have cousins, she 0:10:12.600 --> 0:10:15.880 doesn't have brothers and sisters. So my friends, I'd rather 0:10:15.920 --> 0:10:17.880 hang out with my friends who have kids than her 0:10:17.920 --> 0:10:23.720 friends who have her friends and her friends because I 0:10:23.720 --> 0:10:26.240 don't know these people and I'm used to hanging around 0:10:26.240 --> 0:10:28.679 the funniest people in the world. So you know, it's 0:10:28.720 --> 0:10:31.520 kind of hard sometimes to be like and moms can 0:10:31.520 --> 0:10:34.080 be very judgmental. But to answer your question, I don't 0:10:34.080 --> 0:10:36.560 know what the funk I'm doing. I mean, oh am, 0:10:36.559 --> 0:10:39.920 I still friends with people, I don't. I feel like 0:10:39.960 --> 0:10:41.640 I have no friends. I don't know. I mean, the 0:10:41.640 --> 0:10:44.600 pandemic was just sort of this, See you did it right. 0:10:44.600 --> 0:10:47.360 You probably still like had a small group of people 0:10:47.880 --> 0:10:51.440 the pandemic. I was so excited to spend time by myself, 0:10:52.080 --> 0:10:54.480 I just because I had just come out of therapy 0:10:54.559 --> 0:10:56.320 and that was my big thing, was that I never 0:10:56.360 --> 0:10:59.720 spent time alone. And he just kept inculcating that to me, 0:10:59.840 --> 0:11:02.040 like you have to spend time alone. And then I 0:11:02.080 --> 0:11:04.000 was like, I've got out of therapy. And I treated 0:11:04.000 --> 0:11:06.840 it like I was getting a master's degree in psychology, 0:11:06.880 --> 0:11:09.840 Like I took the pandemic and I read every book 0:11:09.880 --> 0:11:12.160 that I had looked at before and hadn't read. I 0:11:12.200 --> 0:11:14.880 read every self help book, every psychological book that I 0:11:14.880 --> 0:11:17.479 could like that would speak to what I was experiencing. 0:11:17.640 --> 0:11:19.480 So I just treated it like I was going to, 0:11:19.800 --> 0:11:22.800 you know, getting my master's degree. And I fucking loved it, 0:11:22.840 --> 0:11:25.720 and I had such a blast with myself. I was like, 0:11:25.840 --> 0:11:27.840 what am I doing around all these people all the 0:11:27.880 --> 0:11:31.400 time when I'm the fucking fun one. And yeah, I 0:11:31.400 --> 0:11:33.760 took lots of mushrooms. And I mean, if I had 0:11:33.800 --> 0:11:35.319 a kid, it would have been a much different story. 0:11:35.679 --> 0:11:38.280 So tell me a little bit about you and Mosha. 0:11:38.440 --> 0:11:40.840 You talk about your relationship a lot in the book. 0:11:41.160 --> 0:11:45.440 How it's changed since you've become parents. Are you still 0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:49.240 able to laugh as often as you did before you 0:11:49.320 --> 0:11:53.920 had a child? Well, it's just harder because there's like 0:11:54.080 --> 0:11:57.760 so much you're doing your your life become so busy 0:11:58.240 --> 0:12:01.559 and you're picking up now after two people, and that 0:12:01.720 --> 0:12:04.920 can kind of get to you, you know. But yeah, no, 0:12:05.040 --> 0:12:07.320 we laugh. We do laugh. It's a different kind of laugh. 0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:09.360 It's like we laugh more with when the kids there. 0:12:09.360 --> 0:12:13.160 It's like performative, you know. But sometimes I'm like, I 0:12:13.200 --> 0:12:16.360 want to make sure I'm modeling like a nice, fun 0:12:16.400 --> 0:12:19.040 relationship for her, because it's like you can't just always 0:12:19.080 --> 0:12:21.600 be like we need this time when it this end motion. 0:12:21.640 --> 0:12:25.319 I like half the week her lunches from Starbucks because 0:12:25.320 --> 0:12:27.439 I have to pack her a lunch every day, and 0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:29.480 like I'm always out of what I need, so I 0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:32.640 like just have Starbucks little snack packs. It's just hard. 0:12:32.679 --> 0:12:34.560 I've gotten shamed at the school because, like I packed 0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:37.480 my brother's lunches, so I would just like put him 0:12:37.520 --> 0:12:39.920 in a brown paper bag and send him off to school. 0:12:39.960 --> 0:12:41.559 When I was little, I was in charge of that. 0:12:41.760 --> 0:12:43.440 I did that when she was in preschool and the 0:12:43.440 --> 0:12:45.040 teacher came up to me and she was like, just 0:12:45.080 --> 0:12:47.360 so you know, the kids all have these Bento boxes. 0:12:47.760 --> 0:12:49.840 And she showed me and she opened it. I swear 0:12:49.880 --> 0:12:54.679 to god, it had rice steak, a vegetable like these mothers. 0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:57.600 The kid had steak. I'm not kidding. It was like 0:12:57.640 --> 0:12:59.559 other reason, it's not of children to deal with those 0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:03.760 fucking gools and that bullshit and the other mind. But 0:13:04.720 --> 0:13:07.720 every kid had it. So I'm like, Okay, it's probably 0:13:07.720 --> 0:13:09.520 better for the environment to not use like all the 0:13:09.520 --> 0:13:11.880 little plastic bags. But still, it's like, it's just it's 0:13:11.920 --> 0:13:14.920 a lot of so much about parenting presupposes that you 0:13:14.920 --> 0:13:17.839 have nothing else to do in your life but parents, 0:13:18.840 --> 0:13:22.840 And you know, I'm busy, so it's challenging. And how 0:13:22.880 --> 0:13:25.240 has it affected your ability with like with stand up? 0:13:25.320 --> 0:13:27.640 Like are you able to perform as much as you 0:13:27.640 --> 0:13:29.360 did before. No, I feel like this is going to 0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:31.880 make everyone not want to have a kid, because it 0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:34.120 actually has affected my stand up in a bad way. 0:13:34.240 --> 0:13:38.400 And this is why she's like a fountain of comedy 0:13:38.520 --> 0:13:41.320 and like so much stuff. And it's like it's everything 0:13:41.360 --> 0:13:43.560 that I think about and talk about, not everything, but 0:13:43.679 --> 0:13:45.480 so much of it. And then the other day she 0:13:45.600 --> 0:13:47.800 was like, mom I don't like it when you tell 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:50.840 people things I said, because I was just telling a 0:13:50.880 --> 0:13:53.920 friend something she said because she was like, Mommy, when 0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:56.160 the pandemics over, can we wear any kind of mask 0:13:56.280 --> 0:13:58.880 we want? You know? Like, so it's like things like that. 0:13:58.920 --> 0:14:00.880 She hears me telling some and she's like, don't repeat 0:14:00.880 --> 0:14:02.800 things that I say. And then I'm like, she doesn't 0:14:02.800 --> 0:14:04.480 even know that that's what I do for a living. 0:14:05.400 --> 0:14:07.880 But she's gonna be twelve, look at a Netflix special, 0:14:07.920 --> 0:14:10.080 and then never talk to me again. So I'm like, 0:14:10.160 --> 0:14:12.640 I'm not going to do a special now, and I'm 0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:18.040 just gonna try to milk it. I guess live until 0:14:18.440 --> 0:14:21.320 until she yeah, until she knows, and then I'll pivot it. 0:14:21.360 --> 0:14:24.520 I don't know. It's hard. Well, I want to respect her, 0:14:24.760 --> 0:14:28.560 do you, Well? I want I have one kid. I 0:14:28.560 --> 0:14:30.840 don't want her to hate me when she's twelve. Yeah, 0:14:30.960 --> 0:14:33.000 but I feel like that's just a thing that you 0:14:33.040 --> 0:14:36.320 say as a little kid. It is your life experience. 0:14:36.960 --> 0:14:40.720 You can talk about your life experience. You're not giving away. 0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:44.360 It's not so personal. It's almost just like she's having 0:14:44.360 --> 0:14:46.960 an idea that you're telling her stories and she doesn't 0:14:46.960 --> 0:14:50.760 like it for this moment. That's going to change too, Right, 0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:52.440 But I have this joke where I'm screaming that she 0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:57.680 wants caviare to Black Lives Matter rally and and like 0:14:57.840 --> 0:15:01.880 that didn't exactly happen. It's like a culmination. But that's 0:15:01.880 --> 0:15:04.160 even your more more of it out because you're like, 0:15:04.720 --> 0:15:08.000 it's not even true stories, I'm making them up. But 0:15:08.080 --> 0:15:10.240 then what happens when she's twelve and she's like, you 0:15:10.440 --> 0:15:12.520 violated my I mean, who knows what kids will be 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:15.440 like then? I mean they all hate you at twelve. Right, 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:17.680 that's a good point. Yeah, I definitely hated my mom 0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:21.160 from twelve to seventeen. Yeah. Yeah, twelve to seventeen is 0:15:21.200 --> 0:15:24.840 a very hateful time because you're so pissed about what's 0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:27.800 happening to your body and your hormonal, Like I just 0:15:27.960 --> 0:15:31.080 was fucking crazy from twelve to seventeen, and anyone who 0:15:31.120 --> 0:15:33.280 was a girl. And if you, well, you were a 0:15:33.360 --> 0:15:35.360 responsible kid. Actually I mean you took care of your 0:15:35.360 --> 0:15:38.240 whole family. Yeah, only if you if you only knew 0:15:38.240 --> 0:15:40.200 when you were a preteen, what was going to happen 0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:42.840 to your body when you turn like fifty, Like you 0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:46.280 wouldn't be so mad And what's happening like when you're 0:15:46.760 --> 0:15:50.240 it's the hormones. But yeah, it's definitely hard, but I 0:15:50.560 --> 0:15:53.080 can't tell you it makes me so happy. I see, 0:15:53.080 --> 0:15:55.640 that's what's like weird about it. I know I can 0:15:55.640 --> 0:15:57.200 tell and you can tell that in the book to 0:15:57.800 --> 0:16:02.000 talking about all of the things that are stressful about it, 0:16:02.040 --> 0:16:05.120 but while also supplementing that with all of the because 0:16:05.120 --> 0:16:07.800 I always ask my friends is it worth it? Like 0:16:07.880 --> 0:16:10.200 what are the moments that makes it so worth it? 0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:12.640 Because when I see my friend's parents, it just seems 0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:15.920 like chaos. It's like getting lunch is ready, getting everyone 0:16:15.960 --> 0:16:18.280 ready for school, braiding their hair, da da da, And 0:16:18.360 --> 0:16:20.960 I'm just like, where are the aha moments that everyone 0:16:21.000 --> 0:16:23.680 talks about? Well, I did one thing because I felt 0:16:23.680 --> 0:16:25.600 the same as you, and I made a decision to 0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:28.040 have one child. I don't want to be a referee. 0:16:28.560 --> 0:16:31.520 I don't want to deal with more than one child. 0:16:31.840 --> 0:16:33.600 So I feel like, but isn't most just sort of 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:36.640 a child? He is, It's true, but I do feel 0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:38.960 like we can like go to Japan or go I'm 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:42.760 a little more mobile, you know, it's portable. And it's 0:16:42.760 --> 0:16:45.480 almost like I felt this a lot during the pandemic, 0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:48.200 but like she was just this angel who didn't know 0:16:48.240 --> 0:16:51.280 who Trump was and just being in the presence, it 0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:55.080 just felt like a higher being. Also, she's like, really good. 0:16:55.200 --> 0:16:57.040 I grew up with a problem child, so he kind 0:16:57.040 --> 0:16:59.640 of ruined our family. So you could also have a monster. 0:16:59.840 --> 0:17:02.040 I don't know. But it just really feels like this 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:05.000 like angelic thing and everything's new to them, and anything 0:17:05.000 --> 0:17:07.399 you tell them they have never heard of before. Like 0:17:07.480 --> 0:17:09.159 her biggest problem, Like the other night she was like 0:17:09.240 --> 0:17:11.040 crying and bed. I'm like, what's wrong, and she's like, 0:17:11.280 --> 0:17:15.000 I can't stop thinking about cotton candy, Like that's her 0:17:15.040 --> 0:17:18.840 biggest problem. Like it's just very precious. Yeah, I guess 0:17:18.960 --> 0:17:21.560 I can see that because it is it is angelic. 0:17:21.680 --> 0:17:24.560 It is un They're like unbe smirched, right, They haven't 0:17:24.600 --> 0:17:28.120 been ruined yet by the world, and they haven't been jaded, 0:17:28.240 --> 0:17:30.720 and they're just it's like brand new brains. Do you 0:17:30.720 --> 0:17:34.280 feel like you're molding a personality? I try so hard. Yeah, 0:17:34.640 --> 0:17:37.159 But at the same time, it's like like Mosha was 0:17:37.200 --> 0:17:39.400 so mad the other night because last night was Halloween 0:17:39.800 --> 0:17:41.840 and we really wanted her to be a zombies with 0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:44.919 this like cool like princess costume, but a zombie. And 0:17:44.960 --> 0:17:46.720 then she put on the zombie makeup and then she 0:17:46.760 --> 0:17:48.680 looks in the mirror and she's like, I hated, I hated. 0:17:48.720 --> 0:17:51.080 I just want to be a princess mermaid. So she 0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:53.920 takes off all the makeup and then just wants to 0:17:53.960 --> 0:17:58.000 put on a crown and this like very generic Disney 0:17:58.200 --> 0:18:01.719 costume that she wore last year, and I think Mosha 0:18:01.840 --> 0:18:04.040 was just like very upset about He was like really 0:18:04.080 --> 0:18:06.080 fighting her on it, and then finally he was like, 0:18:06.240 --> 0:18:07.639 can you just take over? I need I need to 0:18:07.640 --> 0:18:09.119 take a break, like and he's like, I don't know 0:18:09.160 --> 0:18:11.399 why this is making me so mad, And I know 0:18:11.480 --> 0:18:13.840 he just wants her to be cool and unique, and 0:18:13.880 --> 0:18:16.199 the idea of her is like this Disney princess. The 0:18:16.240 --> 0:18:19.040 second year in a row is really upsetting to him 0:18:20.000 --> 0:18:22.479 because he wants this like hip child. But it's like 0:18:22.520 --> 0:18:24.760 you can only do so much, you know. The girl 0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:28.200 wants to be a freaking mermaid, princess basic as aerial. 0:18:28.280 --> 0:18:32.120 I don't know, but you just I guess my job. 0:18:32.240 --> 0:18:34.199 What my mom did for me, She like put me 0:18:34.200 --> 0:18:37.280 in so many extracurricular activities that finally one day I 0:18:37.359 --> 0:18:40.760 ended up in a theater class and that really started 0:18:40.800 --> 0:18:43.760 my life, you know. And I feel like that's kind 0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:45.240 of our jobs in a way, is to try to 0:18:45.600 --> 0:18:48.639 what about your swim career? Though it was well, but 0:18:48.760 --> 0:18:51.920 that was she would compete in swimming and then come 0:18:51.960 --> 0:18:54.160 in like dead lass I was, I have a whole 0:18:54.160 --> 0:19:00.520 thing of yellow ribbons. Swimming was kind of participate. But 0:19:00.680 --> 0:19:03.600 guess what, I never drowned. I mean that's actually pretty 0:19:04.400 --> 0:19:07.800 Do you get a ribbon for not drowning? Well? I 0:19:07.840 --> 0:19:09.840 mean I actually want to get my kid into swimming 0:19:09.840 --> 0:19:12.040 for the same reason because my husband's always wanted to 0:19:12.040 --> 0:19:14.199 take her surfing, and I'm like, no, she should be 0:19:14.240 --> 0:19:17.159 like the best swimmer she can possibly be. So I 0:19:17.160 --> 0:19:19.399 guess that's the thing is to guide them, try to 0:19:19.400 --> 0:19:22.480 show them something that could be their passion, but try 0:19:22.480 --> 0:19:25.560 to also not make them be an actor or communic 0:19:26.560 --> 0:19:28.680 I mean, I would not let her be a child actor. 0:19:30.119 --> 0:19:32.280 That just feels wow. I don't think so. I mean, 0:19:32.320 --> 0:19:35.000