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Speaker 1: Hi everybody. Hi, Hello Chelsea. If you're listening to this

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Speaker 1: on Thursday, I'm on my way to Tampa, Florida for

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Speaker 1: two shows tonight in Tampa, Florida. And if you're listening

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Speaker 1: to it and you want to come tomorrow night, I'm

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Speaker 1: in Fort Myers. Friday night and Saturday night I'm in

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Speaker 1: Daytona Beach, and Sunday night I'm in Hollywood, Florida. So

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Speaker 1: that is five shows this weekend. Holy fo sky Doodle.

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Speaker 1: Tickets are available a Chelsea Handler dot com. So whatever

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Speaker 1: Democrats are left in that state, I'm coming and this

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Speaker 1: is the last leg of my tour and then my

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Speaker 1: special ist airing. It's official December Netflix everybody. It's called Revolution.

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Speaker 1: That's so exciting. I know. I'm so happy, Chelsea. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I can't wait. Ah yeah, we love Netflix. Netflix in Chill.

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Speaker 1: I haven't done five shows in a few months. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to have to figure out what my alcohol game

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Speaker 1: plan is because I'm on a pre holiday buzz. You're

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Speaker 1: gonna have to get some of those patches, those pre

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Speaker 1: drinking patches. Oh yeah, I tried the awake ones, those

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Speaker 1: patches that we're supposed to give you. Buzz I felt

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Speaker 1: like that worked a little bit. I like that. I

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Speaker 1: like an awake thing that's not caffeine. Yeah, right right,

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Speaker 1: I don't. I don't respond well to caffeine. Plus, I

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Speaker 1: take etcetera a lot in the morning when I wake up.

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Speaker 1: That's kind of my coffee. It's a great habit. You

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Speaker 1: guys might want to pick that up. Okay, if you're

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Speaker 1: listening from your health guru, Dr Chelsea Handler Man, I

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Speaker 1: used to have to take so much Exceedrian, I used

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Speaker 1: to get headaches, like almost every single day. Really, I

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Speaker 1: did some cleans stuff to like detox if I honestly,

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Speaker 1: detoxification baths really helped with that. What are those so

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Speaker 1: you get in a bath like as yeah, ep, some

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Speaker 1: salt sometimes some activated charcoal and a little lavender with

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Speaker 1: an end at the end or an end some some

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Speaker 1: Oh I thought it was ex on salt. That's okay.

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Speaker 1: I have a follow up, okay, great, yeah, okay, Well

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Speaker 1: this is from Courtney. Oh I wish Courtney with a C.

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Speaker 1: And she was following up after our Mushrooms and Majorca

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Speaker 1: episode about the caller Lisa, who was thinking about maybe

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Speaker 1: moving to New York and having a new adventure at forty,

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Speaker 1: and she says, Hi, I'm listening to the Mushrooms in

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Speaker 1: mayorka episode and just heard the caller Lisa talk about

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Speaker 1: making the leap and moving to NYC. I came to

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Speaker 1: NYC from San Francisco six years ago for what was

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Speaker 1: supposed to be three months, and I never left. I

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Speaker 1: found a great community here, especially during the pandemic, and

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Speaker 1: I absolutely love the freedom, energy culture, and of course

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Speaker 1: the bars and restaurants. As I was listening to Lisa's concerns,

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Speaker 1: I realized I should offer to connect two main reasons.

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Speaker 1: I'm a professional, single, child free forty two year old

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Speaker 1: with great contacts here and would love to help her

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Speaker 1: settle in. I've moved around on my own a lot

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Speaker 1: l A, Chicago, s F, d C, n y C,

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Speaker 1: and it can be daunting but also rewarding, and especially

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Speaker 1: rewarding when surrounded by good people too. I also travel

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Speaker 1: quite a bit, and if she wants to try NYC

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Speaker 1: on for size, she can stay in my place for free.

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Speaker 1: If she's willing to watch my adorable dog Cheat, feel

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Speaker 1: free to pass along my email to her, which I did.

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Speaker 1: I'm happy to help her explore NYC options. Love your

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Speaker 1: podcast Chelsea, and you always make me feel better for

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Speaker 1: being independent, strong and single. You also gave me hope

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Speaker 1: for finding true love. Dating has been a defeating process

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Speaker 1: for me, and you remind me to stay open while

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Speaker 1: also continually working to better myself. Thank you both for

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Speaker 1: the weekly company. Courtney, what autie. That's sweet? I just

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Speaker 1: love it. We get emails back sometimes based on callers

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Speaker 1: who have called in or emails saying I can help

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Speaker 1: with this or I can connect them with someone, and

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Speaker 1: it is just so lovely. There's actually a little bit

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Speaker 1: of a community. This sweet. That's really lovely. Thank you Courtney,

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Speaker 1: and think with the C I appreciate that. I think,

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Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea, listeners are the best listeners. I know they are.

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Speaker 1: They're really nice. Everyone's so nice, and everyone's so well kempt,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Welcomed with an M. I

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Speaker 1: appreciate that. Yeah, okay, So our special guest today is

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Speaker 1: my very dear old friend. She is the host of

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Speaker 1: the Endless Honeymoon podcast, which she hosts with her husband

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Speaker 1: Mosha Kasher, and her book, which is now out. It's

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Speaker 1: called The World Deserves My Children and It's So funny. Actress, comedian,

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Speaker 1: and author Natasha la Jarro. I tel, Oh, my god,

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Speaker 1: how happy am I to be talking about this book

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Speaker 1: that is finally coming out. You helped me every step

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Speaker 1: of the way. I couldn't find a title. You gave

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Speaker 1: me great advice. You you helped me because you're natural

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Speaker 1: book writer and you're a voracious reader. So I feel

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Speaker 1: like you deserve all this book success. Like this is

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Speaker 1: so hard for me, Like I hated it. That's why

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Speaker 1: you deserve the success too, when it's hard work, right.

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Speaker 1: It took me like two and a half years, and

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Speaker 1: it's just like, was not the kind of writing I

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Speaker 1: was used to doing. And someone gave me the advice

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Speaker 1: that it's more like an accordion, you know, Like so

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Speaker 1: if I have a story as a stand up like

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Speaker 1: this punchy thing where I'm trying to get right to

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Speaker 1: the joke, where the book is like spreading it out

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Speaker 1: and thinking about it from all these different ways. So

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Speaker 1: it was very taxing but very rewarding. But I think

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Speaker 1: that's one of the best things about when comedians write books,

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Speaker 1: is that it's like stand up you know. Like I

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Speaker 1: remember the first book I ever wrote. I sent it

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Speaker 1: to my manager who's no longer my manager because I

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Speaker 1: can't keepe a relationship going. And he was like, you

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Speaker 1: write just like you talk, and I was like oh,

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Speaker 1: and he said that like an aside, like it wasn't

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Speaker 1: a good thing. And then as I learned, going through

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Speaker 1: the writing process so many times with so many different editors,

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Speaker 1: that is your biggest strength is writing like you talk.

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Speaker 1: Because stand ups are writers. That's what we do is

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Speaker 1: we write what we say. So to put that into

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Speaker 1: a book, I understand the accordion kind of analogy. Also

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Speaker 1: because you do have to you know, you can't just

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Speaker 1: be writing jokes, jokes, jokes, jokes, of course, but also

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Speaker 1: as a comedian, our caliber of jokes is a little

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Speaker 1: higher than the average person writing a book no offense.

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Speaker 1: So it's like they're funnier. Your books are funny. A

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Speaker 1: comedian books are always funnier, and you can get them

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Speaker 1: on audio and listen to them, you know. And this

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Speaker 1: book is called The World Deserves My Children, and which

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Speaker 1: is a fucking awesome title. And I want to tell

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Speaker 1: you guys that I have read a lot of parenting books.

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Speaker 1: I don't ask me fucking why. I don't know why actually,

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Speaker 1: because I'm just curious about what I read What to

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Speaker 1: Expect When You when You're Expecting because it's so cute.

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Speaker 1: I just because I want to know what everyone's talking about.

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Speaker 1: But I want I draw the line at watching the Housewives.

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Speaker 1: I can't watch the Housewives. That's one thing I can

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Speaker 1: miss out about that everyone's doing. But yeah, but this

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Speaker 1: is the funniest parenting book that you will read. It

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Speaker 1: is so funny. It made me laugh out loud. I

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Speaker 1: was on a plane. I mean I picked it up

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Speaker 1: to read a couple of chapters and I finished the

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Speaker 1: whole thing on a plane ride because it's so good. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm really psyched for people to read this

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Speaker 1: because every fucking parent can relate to so much of

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Speaker 1: this ship. And if you're not a parent, you're gonna

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Speaker 1: be so grateful that you didn't have children when you

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Speaker 1: read this, because even if you're not a parent, this

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Speaker 1: is worth three eating. It's just so fucking funny. And

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Speaker 1: the way you talk about Mosha, which is her husband,

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Speaker 1: and if you listen to her podcast, you can hear

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Speaker 1: both her and her husband. It's called the Endless Honeymoon Podcast,

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Speaker 1: where she and her husband basically just bitch and moan

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Speaker 1: to each other about each other. No, I try to

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Speaker 1: use the podcast well we also, you know, listen to

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Speaker 1: people's secrets and give some advice. But I also use

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Speaker 1: it as a way to hijack him with issues I

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Speaker 1: have with him, and then we can sort of crowdsource

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Speaker 1: it and I always win, right often. Yeah, And in

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Speaker 1: the book, you go after him in a very very

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Speaker 1: funny way. And I remember I was texting with you

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Speaker 1: and You're like, is it too harsh? And I was

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Speaker 1: like no, but and and the at the end, you

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Speaker 1: give him a platform to actually he talks about his

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Speaker 1: experience parenting because he thinks he knows everything. So I'm like,

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Speaker 1: what do you think being a mother is all about?

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Speaker 1: And what do you think being a father is all about?

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Speaker 1: And he really actually learned from our conversation. I did too.

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Speaker 1: I thought it was a good illustration of who he

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Speaker 1: is is that you know, his kind of character, that

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Speaker 1: he's in charge of more of the fun because it

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Speaker 1: has been an issue because I feel like I used

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Speaker 1: to be this person like you, full of Juada viv

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Speaker 1: and would go to Africa to drop of a hat

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Speaker 1: and you know, yeah, sure, pump vaccines up and down

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Speaker 1: my arms and go to Thailand and river rafting without

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Speaker 1: a helmet, and now I'm like completely paralyzed with fear

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Speaker 1: and I hate it and I want to get back

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Speaker 1: to like pre motherhood Natasha, but I've changed a little bit.

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Speaker 1: So it's just sort of like grappling with that a

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Speaker 1: little bit and and trying to get back to just

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Speaker 1: parentings degrading Chelsea. It's you know what, it feels demoralizing.

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Speaker 1: I remember in a good way that I bet, but

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Speaker 1: I remember coming over to your house one day it

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Speaker 1: was pouring rain and I went over on a whim

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Speaker 1: for some reason. We were texting. I'm like, oh, I

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Speaker 1: can come over right now, and I drove over a

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Speaker 1: house and I met your baby for the first time

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Speaker 1: and we were in the playroom, and I remember just

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Speaker 1: seeing your life how it had transformed like this baby.

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Speaker 1: If she walked, you know, Natasha had to walk after her.

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Speaker 1: If she walked out of the room, Natasha had to

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Speaker 1: walk out of the room. If it was it was

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Speaker 1: just like that age where you can't leave them alone

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Speaker 1: for two seconds. And I remember just going, oh, fuck,

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Speaker 1: like this is a total life change. Did you pity

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Speaker 1: me a little bit? I did? I felt sorry for you.

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Speaker 1: I just felt like, oh, this is because I I

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Speaker 1: just always related to myself and if I were in

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Speaker 1: that situation and I just would not be able to

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Speaker 1: handle it. But kids love you because I've seen you

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Speaker 1: around kids and you're like a magnet. Well sometimes sometimes

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Speaker 1: all your nieces and nephews like well, I mean, they

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Speaker 1: love me for different reasons. You know, I do like

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Speaker 1: kids when they have something to offer. You know, we're

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Speaker 1: mostly just sucking from your life for but in a

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Speaker 1: way that you're happy for, I guess. So tell me

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Speaker 1: about when you became a parent. Tell me about your

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Speaker 1: relationships with your friends that aren't parents. Did those change

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Speaker 1: at all? Did you find yourself becoming friends with more

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Speaker 1: people that had children or closer to those? I mean,

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Speaker 1: I think it's I don't know, it's really hard having

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Speaker 1: an only child because I'm I'm a little overactively trying

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Speaker 1: to make sure she has some deep connections with some

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Speaker 1: people I don't know, Like she doesn't have cousins, she

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Speaker 1: doesn't have brothers and sisters. So my friends, I'd rather

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Speaker 1: hang out with my friends who have kids than her

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Speaker 1: friends who have her friends and her friends because I

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Speaker 1: don't know these people and I'm used to hanging around

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Speaker 1: the funniest people in the world. So you know, it's

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Speaker 1: kind of hard sometimes to be like and moms can

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Speaker 1: be very judgmental. But to answer your question, I don't

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Speaker 1: know what the funk I'm doing. I mean, oh am,

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Speaker 1: I still friends with people, I don't. I feel like

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Speaker 1: I have no friends. I don't know. I mean, the

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Speaker 1: pandemic was just sort of this, See you did it right.

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Speaker 1: You probably still like had a small group of people

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Speaker 1: the pandemic. I was so excited to spend time by myself,

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Speaker 1: I just because I had just come out of therapy

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Speaker 1: and that was my big thing, was that I never

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Speaker 1: spent time alone. And he just kept inculcating that to me,

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Speaker 1: like you have to spend time alone. And then I

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Speaker 1: was like, I've got out of therapy. And I treated

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Speaker 1: it like I was getting a master's degree in psychology,

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Speaker 1: Like I took the pandemic and I read every book

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Speaker 1: that I had looked at before and hadn't read. I

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Speaker 1: read every self help book, every psychological book that I

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Speaker 1: could like that would speak to what I was experiencing.

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Speaker 1: So I just treated it like I was going to,

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Speaker 1: you know, getting my master's degree. And I fucking loved it,

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Speaker 1: and I had such a blast with myself. I was like,

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Speaker 1: what am I doing around all these people all the

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Speaker 1: time when I'm the fucking fun one. And yeah, I

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Speaker 1: took lots of mushrooms. And I mean, if I had

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Speaker 1: a kid, it would have been a much different story.

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Speaker 1: So tell me a little bit about you and Mosha.

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Speaker 1: You talk about your relationship a lot in the book.

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Speaker 1: How it's changed since you've become parents. Are you still

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Speaker 1: able to laugh as often as you did before you

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Speaker 1: had a child? Well, it's just harder because there's like

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Speaker 1: so much you're doing your your life become so busy

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Speaker 1: and you're picking up now after two people, and that

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Speaker 1: can kind of get to you, you know. But yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: we laugh. We do laugh. It's a different kind of laugh.

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Speaker 1: It's like we laugh more with when the kids there.

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Speaker 1: It's like performative, you know. But sometimes I'm like, I

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Speaker 1: want to make sure I'm modeling like a nice, fun

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Speaker 1: relationship for her, because it's like you can't just always

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Speaker 1: be like we need this time when it this end motion.

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Speaker 1: I like half the week her lunches from Starbucks because

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Speaker 1: I have to pack her a lunch every day, and

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Speaker 1: like I'm always out of what I need, so I

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Speaker 1: like just have Starbucks little snack packs. It's just hard.

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Speaker 1: I've gotten shamed at the school because, like I packed

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Speaker 1: my brother's lunches, so I would just like put him

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Speaker 1: in a brown paper bag and send him off to school.

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Speaker 1: When I was little, I was in charge of that.

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Speaker 1: I did that when she was in preschool and the

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Speaker 1: teacher came up to me and she was like, just

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Speaker 1: so you know, the kids all have these Bento boxes.

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Speaker 1: And she showed me and she opened it. I swear

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Speaker 1: to god, it had rice steak, a vegetable like these mothers.

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Speaker 1: The kid had steak. I'm not kidding. It was like

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Speaker 1: other reason, it's not of children to deal with those

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Speaker 1: fucking gools and that bullshit and the other mind. But

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Speaker 1: every kid had it. So I'm like, Okay, it's probably

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Speaker 1: better for the environment to not use like all the

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Speaker 1: little plastic bags. But still, it's like, it's just it's

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Speaker 1: a lot of so much about parenting presupposes that you

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Speaker 1: have nothing else to do in your life but parents,

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Speaker 1: And you know, I'm busy, so it's challenging. And how

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Speaker 1: has it affected your ability with like with stand up?

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Speaker 1: Like are you able to perform as much as you

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Speaker 1: did before. No, I feel like this is going to

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Speaker 1: make everyone not want to have a kid, because it

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Speaker 1: actually has affected my stand up in a bad way.

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Speaker 1: And this is why she's like a fountain of comedy

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Speaker 1: and like so much stuff. And it's like it's everything

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Speaker 1: that I think about and talk about, not everything, but

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Speaker 1: so much of it. And then the other day she

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Speaker 1: was like, mom I don't like it when you tell

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Speaker 1: people things I said, because I was just telling a

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Speaker 1: friend something she said because she was like, Mommy, when

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Speaker 1: the pandemics over, can we wear any kind of mask

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Speaker 1: we want? You know? Like, so it's like things like that.

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Speaker 1: She hears me telling some and she's like, don't repeat

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Speaker 1: things that I say. And then I'm like, she doesn't

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Speaker 1: even know that that's what I do for a living.

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Speaker 1: But she's gonna be twelve, look at a Netflix special,

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Speaker 1: and then never talk to me again. So I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to do a special now, and I'm

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Speaker 1: just gonna try to milk it. I guess live until

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Speaker 1: until she yeah, until she knows, and then I'll pivot it.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. It's hard. Well, I want to respect her,

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Speaker 1: do you, Well? I want I have one kid. I

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Speaker 1: don't want her to hate me when she's twelve. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I feel like that's just a thing that you

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Speaker 1: say as a little kid. It is your life experience.

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Speaker 1: You can talk about your life experience. You're not giving away.

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Speaker 1: It's not so personal. It's almost just like she's having

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Speaker 1: an idea that you're telling her stories and she doesn't

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Speaker 1: like it for this moment. That's going to change too, Right,

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Speaker 1: But I have this joke where I'm screaming that she

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Speaker 1: wants caviare to Black Lives Matter rally and and like

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Speaker 1: that didn't exactly happen. It's like a culmination. But that's

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Speaker 1: even your more more of it out because you're like,

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Speaker 1: it's not even true stories, I'm making them up. But

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Speaker 1: then what happens when she's twelve and she's like, you

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Speaker 1: violated my I mean, who knows what kids will be

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Speaker 1: like then? I mean they all hate you at twelve. Right,

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Speaker 1: that's a good point. Yeah, I definitely hated my mom

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Speaker 1: from twelve to seventeen. Yeah. Yeah, twelve to seventeen is

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Speaker 1: a very hateful time because you're so pissed about what's

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Speaker 1: happening to your body and your hormonal, Like I just

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Speaker 1: was fucking crazy from twelve to seventeen, and anyone who

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Speaker 1: was a girl. And if you, well, you were a

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Speaker 1: responsible kid. Actually I mean you took care of your

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Speaker 1: whole family. Yeah, only if you if you only knew

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Speaker 1: when you were a preteen, what was going to happen

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Speaker 1: to your body when you turn like fifty, Like you

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Speaker 1: wouldn't be so mad And what's happening like when you're

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Speaker 1: it's the hormones. But yeah, it's definitely hard, but I

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Speaker 1: can't tell you it makes me so happy. I see,

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Speaker 1: that's what's like weird about it. I know I can

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Speaker 1: tell and you can tell that in the book to

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Speaker 1: talking about all of the things that are stressful about it,

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Speaker 1: but while also supplementing that with all of the because

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Speaker 1: I always ask my friends is it worth it? Like

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Speaker 1: what are the moments that makes it so worth it?

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Speaker 1: Because when I see my friend's parents, it just seems

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Speaker 1: like chaos. It's like getting lunch is ready, getting everyone

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Speaker 1: ready for school, braiding their hair, da da da, And

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Speaker 1: I'm just like, where are the aha moments that everyone

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Speaker 1: talks about? Well, I did one thing because I felt

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Speaker 1: the same as you, and I made a decision to

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Speaker 1: have one child. I don't want to be a referee.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to deal with more than one child.

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Speaker 1: So I feel like, but isn't most just sort of

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Speaker 1: a child? He is, It's true, but I do feel

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00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,960
Speaker 1: like we can like go to Japan or go I'm

340
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,760
Speaker 1: a little more mobile, you know, it's portable. And it's

341
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Speaker 1: almost like I felt this a lot during the pandemic,

342
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Speaker 1: but like she was just this angel who didn't know

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Speaker 1: who Trump was and just being in the presence, it

344
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:55,080
Speaker 1: just felt like a higher being. Also, she's like, really good.

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Speaker 1: I grew up with a problem child, so he kind

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Speaker 1: of ruined our family. So you could also have a monster.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. But it just really feels like this

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Speaker 1: like angelic thing and everything's new to them, and anything

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Speaker 1: you tell them they have never heard of before. Like

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Speaker 1: her biggest problem, Like the other night she was like

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Speaker 1: crying and bed. I'm like, what's wrong, and she's like,

352
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Speaker 1: I can't stop thinking about cotton candy, Like that's her

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Speaker 1: biggest problem. Like it's just very precious. Yeah, I guess

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Speaker 1: I can see that because it is it is angelic.

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Speaker 1: It is un They're like unbe smirched, right, They haven't

356
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Speaker 1: been ruined yet by the world, and they haven't been jaded,

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Speaker 1: and they're just it's like brand new brains. Do you

358
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Speaker 1: feel like you're molding a personality? I try so hard. Yeah,

359
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,159
Speaker 1: But at the same time, it's like like Mosha was

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Speaker 1: so mad the other night because last night was Halloween

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Speaker 1: and we really wanted her to be a zombies with

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Speaker 1: this like cool like princess costume, but a zombie. And

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00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:46,720
Speaker 1: then she put on the zombie makeup and then she

364
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Speaker 1: looks in the mirror and she's like, I hated, I hated.

365
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Speaker 1: I just want to be a princess mermaid. So she

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Speaker 1: takes off all the makeup and then just wants to

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Speaker 1: put on a crown and this like very generic Disney

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Speaker 1: costume that she wore last year, and I think Mosha

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00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,040
Speaker 1: was just like very upset about He was like really

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Speaker 1: fighting her on it, and then finally he was like,

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Speaker 1: can you just take over? I need I need to

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00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:09,119
Speaker 1: take a break, like and he's like, I don't know

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Speaker 1: why this is making me so mad, And I know

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Speaker 1: he just wants her to be cool and unique, and

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Speaker 1: the idea of her is like this Disney princess. The

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00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:19,040
Speaker 1: second year in a row is really upsetting to him

377
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,479
Speaker 1: because he wants this like hip child. But it's like

378
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,760
Speaker 1: you can only do so much, you know. The girl

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Speaker 1: wants to be a freaking mermaid, princess basic as aerial.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, but you just I guess my job.

381
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Speaker 1: What my mom did for me, She like put me

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Speaker 1: in so many extracurricular activities that finally one day I

383
00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:40,760
Speaker 1: ended up in a theater class and that really started

384
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Speaker 1: my life, you know. And I feel like that's kind

385
00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:45,240
Speaker 1: of our jobs in a way, is to try to

386
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:48,639
Speaker 1: what about your swim career? Though it was well, but

387
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,920
Speaker 1: that was she would compete in swimming and then come

388
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:54,160
Speaker 1: in like dead lass I was, I have a whole

389
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Speaker 1: thing of yellow ribbons. Swimming was kind of participate. But

390
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:03,600
Speaker 1: guess what, I never drowned. I mean that's actually pretty

391
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:07,800
Speaker 1: Do you get a ribbon for not drowning? Well? I

392
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:09,840
Speaker 1: mean I actually want to get my kid into swimming

393
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,040
Speaker 1: for the same reason because my husband's always wanted to

394
00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:14,199
Speaker 1: take her surfing, and I'm like, no, she should be

395
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,159
Speaker 1: like the best swimmer she can possibly be. So I

396
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,399
Speaker 1: guess that's the thing is to guide them, try to

397
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,480
Speaker 1: show them something that could be their passion, but try

398
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:25,560
Speaker 1: to also not make them be an actor or communic

399
00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:28,680
Speaker 1: I mean, I would not let her be a child actor.

400
00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:32,280
Speaker 1: That just feels wow. I don't think so. I mean,

401
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,000
Speaker 1: I think anybody said, everybody says that that's in the business.

402
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,960
Speaker 1: And then once they turn eighteen, it's like with two

403
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,560
Speaker 1: parents who are entertainers, Like what else is gonna happen?

404
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:43,120
Speaker 1: They're going to become an accountant, you know, like that's

405
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:46,040
Speaker 1: what happens. I want her to be an environmental scientist,

406
00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:51,720
Speaker 1: talked down about it, be like environmental science is the worst.

407
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:57,439
Speaker 1: That's a hilarious idea. Do you how do you do? You?

408
00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,720
Speaker 1: In Mosha fight a lot about parenting style else, Well,

409
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,359
Speaker 1: the problem with you know, raising a child with a

410
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,959
Speaker 1: man is that or you know, a partner in general,

411
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:08,679
Speaker 1: but this specifically man is really rough. And it's just

412
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:12,040
Speaker 1: like we just you know, when you're with someone, you

413
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:14,679
Speaker 1: get together because you guys share a worldview. So like

414
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:17,399
Speaker 1: all the big things we were very aligned on, you know,

415
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,080
Speaker 1: that's how you're able to stay with someone. But then

416
00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:21,639
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, the minutia of parenting is what

417
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,919
Speaker 1: we started fighting about. Like he's like, she needs sunlight

418
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, she needs her head protected. No, she

419
00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:28,040
Speaker 1: needs sunlight, no head protect you know. And then we're

420
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,080
Speaker 1: just like taking going on a walk and taking her

421
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:31,679
Speaker 1: hat on and off, and it's like then we're in

422
00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:33,800
Speaker 1: a fight, you know. Or we go camping and he

423
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:37,840
Speaker 1: wants her to be experiencing the flame closer in her

424
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:42,320
Speaker 1: pack and play and I'm like, no, let's move it back.

425
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,919
Speaker 1: This thing's flamm it says flammable on the side. And

426
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:47,879
Speaker 1: so we'll be at a campground moving like when she

427
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,720
Speaker 1: was a little baby, moving it back and forth, and

428
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,080
Speaker 1: it's just like those you know, it's like the same

429
00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:54,320
Speaker 1: fight over and over. Is like I'm trying to protect her.

430
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:56,920
Speaker 1: He's trying to like let her have this amazing adventure,

431
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,840
Speaker 1: and so we're trying to get a handle on that.

432
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,040
Speaker 1: It's the same thing as in a relationship without kids,

433
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,480
Speaker 1: you have one thing that you fight about all that

434
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:05,679
Speaker 1: it's the same thing. It just keeps coming up in

435
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:09,400
Speaker 1: different ways, you know. So it's it takes a lot

436
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:15,240
Speaker 1: of dedication to your relationship. I mean, let's face it,

437
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:18,480
Speaker 1: if there's no kid, you're kind of out after a while, right,

438
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:23,800
Speaker 1: moving on to the next one. At least that's how

439
00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:25,960
Speaker 1: I've always been. But you guys are married, but the

440
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:28,040
Speaker 1: kid makes you Yeah, it's sure, I've never been married before,

441
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:30,000
Speaker 1: but the kid really makes you like, how are we

442
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,600
Speaker 1: going to make this work? Yeah? Yeah, maybe that's why.

443
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:37,520
Speaker 1: Maybe you should cut that out. You can keep it's

444
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:39,399
Speaker 1: just so cool. That's why I married him too. He

445
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:41,119
Speaker 1: was like when we started getting together, we're both doing

446
00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:42,080
Speaker 1: a stand up and I was like, do you mind

447
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,160
Speaker 1: if I say that on stage? You know, make fun

448
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:46,399
Speaker 1: of you. He's like, oh, you can say whatever you

449
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,600
Speaker 1: want on stage. I did not care at all, and

450
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,919
Speaker 1: I was like, thank you. Is that just because he

451
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:53,560
Speaker 1: wants license to do the same or he's not really

452
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,879
Speaker 1: like that. I think it is just confident. He's just

453
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:58,359
Speaker 1: like he knows it's a joke, and as opposed to

454
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,439
Speaker 1: guys like being like oh why did you say that

455
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,560
Speaker 1: and getting all dramatic and then you've got to deal

456
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:04,919
Speaker 1: with them, and which is a lot of comics. To

457
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:08,000
Speaker 1: be fair, a lot of male comedians are very sensitive egos,

458
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:14,680
Speaker 1: very fragile it, which is always a turn on. Girl.

459
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:18,440
Speaker 1: I can't get enough of this stuff. How is your

460
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:21,720
Speaker 1: relationship with your mom changed since you've had a baby,

461
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:25,880
Speaker 1: that's kind of a sad subject because, um, well it's

462
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,280
Speaker 1: just because of the pandemic. My mom is just I

463
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:30,480
Speaker 1: think there's a certain sect of person who is just

464
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 1: completely terrified. They watch MSNBC all day long. They're afraid

465
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:38,200
Speaker 1: of COVID, they're afraid of everything, and they're just not

466
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:42,560
Speaker 1: able to be mobile in their life. I guess, but

467
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:46,680
Speaker 1: we did. So she's seen her a couple of times,

468
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:51,240
Speaker 1: I know, But I think that it was so crazy

469
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,040
Speaker 1: because you never really know when you have a kid

470
00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:55,160
Speaker 1: who's going to be the good grandparents, because you can

471
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:58,359
Speaker 1: think it's going to be like my husband's mom moved

472
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:01,040
Speaker 1: here to be close to our child. Little did I

473
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 1: know it was to be close to Mosha. So she's

474
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:06,560
Speaker 1: like always wanting to come over to hang out with Mosha,

475
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:11,919
Speaker 1: and I'm like, could you watch the kid? Hello. She's deaf,

476
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,720
Speaker 1: so she's very into her technology. So she's always got

477
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:17,200
Speaker 1: like a Fannie pack with two phones and I pad

478
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:20,320
Speaker 1: around her neck. You know, she's got chords wrapped around her.

479
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:24,000
Speaker 1: She's very like tech tech person. So maybe maybe it's

480
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,520
Speaker 1: hard for her to communicate with with my kid because

481
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:29,000
Speaker 1: she doesn't speak. I'm trying to teach her sign language,

482
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:31,560
Speaker 1: but it's it's very hard. Well, this that's a perfect

483
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:33,600
Speaker 1: opportunity for her to teach her sign, Like that's what

484
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:37,880
Speaker 1: I thought. Yeah, I know, it's weird. Grandparents are weird.

485
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 1: She lives three blocks away. I mean it's it's it

486
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:43,120
Speaker 1: boggles my mind. And so she over there every single day.

487
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 1: Mosha goes there like twice a week to have like

488
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,800
Speaker 1: tea and dinner and then we all hang out once

489
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:52,080
Speaker 1: a week. That was something I learned in therapy. The

490
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,040
Speaker 1: therapist was like, I think once a week is good

491
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:57,640
Speaker 1: for his family. He wants to spend more time and

492
00:23:57,720 --> 00:23:59,760
Speaker 1: that works out good. But I really do like them.

493
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:03,359
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's it's just challenging because I thought it

494
00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 1: would be a built in babysitter. But it's okay. I

495
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:08,639
Speaker 1: mean it's it's loving. Do you have somebody that helps you,

496
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:12,320
Speaker 1: like a nanny or a baby it's well, now she's

497
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 1: in school, so I did have a nanny. But the

498
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:18,480
Speaker 1: real hard part is before school starts. I mean you're

499
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:21,880
Speaker 1: like alone with them all day long doing chores. It's

500
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,440
Speaker 1: pretty intense. Chelsea. I don't think you're ever going to

501
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:26,840
Speaker 1: do this. No, I'm not. I'm forty seven. Where is

502
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:28,879
Speaker 1: my baby going to come out of? I mean, what

503
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:32,359
Speaker 1: over age yours is great? Forever? Is it? Maybe I

504
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:36,080
Speaker 1: can house a baby just gonna be a stir ogay

505
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:39,520
Speaker 1: for somebody else. Yeah, I'm amazed by anybody who's a parent.

506
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,840
Speaker 1: I just beem amazed by it. It's just so hard.

507
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:45,040
Speaker 1: It's so hard to remain patient and be gentle and

508
00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:49,920
Speaker 1: loving to someone who is requiring all of your attention. Yeah,

509
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:52,000
Speaker 1: And also, like when you're in the prime of your

510
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,399
Speaker 1: life and then you're having this child, it's it's a

511
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 1: little bit of a different situation than when our parents

512
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,359
Speaker 1: had us, you know. I feel like and this IVF

513
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:03,119
Speaker 1: has really afforded women like two extra decades to like

514
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:07,160
Speaker 1: have their career, make some money, have fun, party, try

515
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,360
Speaker 1: out different partners. You know. I think all that pressure

516
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,440
Speaker 1: to like have the babies in your thirties is really

517
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,920
Speaker 1: stressful because like guys suck and it's hard to find

518
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:17,040
Speaker 1: someone who could be a good partner. And to me,

519
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,920
Speaker 1: that was really important. So I'm so grateful to IVF

520
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 1: and that it's this thing that our parents weren't able

521
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,560
Speaker 1: to do that we're able to do and just start

522
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:27,240
Speaker 1: our families a little later. Yeah, that's a good point.

523
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:29,480
Speaker 1: It gives people a lot more foundation so that you

524
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,600
Speaker 1: are more independent by the time you have a kid,

525
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:35,479
Speaker 1: so speak, earning years are like what forties, thirties, forties,

526
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:38,399
Speaker 1: But if you fifties maybe, I hope. But if you

527
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:41,880
Speaker 1: have a young kid, it's rough. That's why I'm so jealous.

528
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:45,800
Speaker 1: People like Reese Witherspoon's got like an adult child. She's

529
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:50,560
Speaker 1: the same age as me, but like her child like seven, No,

530
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:53,480
Speaker 1: not that old, but you know, like I think it's

531
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 1: like now, I'm like, it's hard keeping up the energy sometimes,

532
00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,800
Speaker 1: but it's you know, but it also probably gives you

533
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:02,760
Speaker 1: a lot of energy totally because you have to like

534
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:06,160
Speaker 1: you have to be there. Can't just like fucking cop out.

535
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,480
Speaker 1: That's why you got to have a partner. Yeah, and

536
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:13,480
Speaker 1: some extra nightqual for the baby. Um, we're gonna take callers,

537
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:15,400
Speaker 1: and people are going to call in for advice. I'm

538
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:19,399
Speaker 1: assuming on the subject of parenting. We've got some parenting stuff.

539
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:23,439
Speaker 1: We've got some marriage. Marital questions are my favorite, some

540
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 1: relationship stuff. Let's try it. I mean, I feel like

541
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:29,800
Speaker 1: I'm too honest. That's what you need to be. These

542
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 1: people all need to kick in the ass. Usually they

543
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:33,440
Speaker 1: want a kick. Most It gets mad at me because

544
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:35,879
Speaker 1: I tell so many people to break up, But I

545
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,080
Speaker 1: just feel like I don't know. I mean, sometimes you

546
00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:39,639
Speaker 1: can just sense it. But we'll see, we'll see what

547
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,359
Speaker 1: we got. Yeah. Yeah, Well we'll take a quick break

548
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:51,200
Speaker 1: and then we'll be right back and we're back. We're back. Well.

549
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:56,160
Speaker 1: Our first question is about parenting and comes from tired mom.

550
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,119
Speaker 1: She says, my four year old son has been in

551
00:26:58,160 --> 00:26:59,960
Speaker 1: a big boy bed for about two and a half

552
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 1: years now. When he was in his crib, he was

553
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 1: the best sleeper and never tried to get out of it. However,

554
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:07,560
Speaker 1: I can count on one hand the number of nights

555
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 1: he stayed in bed for the entire night over the

556
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:13,119
Speaker 1: past two plus years. Every night, at some point he

557
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:15,679
Speaker 1: comes running down the stairs and jumps in between my

558
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 1: husband and I in our bed. I feel like I've

559
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 1: tried everything, and many nights were so exhausted that one

560
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 1: of us just goes up and sleeps in his bed

561
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:25,520
Speaker 1: with him. It's starting to really affect us. Our sleep

562
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,000
Speaker 1: is horrible because he moves around all night or wants

563
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:31,520
Speaker 1: to snuggle so close it's suffocating. Any advice I love

564
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:35,639
Speaker 1: the podcast. Sincerely tired Mom in New Hampshire. That's funny.

565
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 1: We had another emailer who went by tired Mom who

566
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:40,280
Speaker 1: wrote in a couple of weeks ago, can't they just

567
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:42,720
Speaker 1: put it back in the crib? Well, no, I think

568
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:45,400
Speaker 1: she's saying, it's like a it's like a walking age.

569
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:47,359
Speaker 1: Put him back in the crib. He seemed to like

570
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:49,840
Speaker 1: the crib. Well, nobody, they climb out of the crib

571
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,879
Speaker 1: and they'll believe me. This is very hard. First of all,

572
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:53,720
Speaker 1: I want to say, I have three elderly chawas. I

573
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:55,720
Speaker 1: can't get out of my bed so and they're like

574
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:58,639
Speaker 1: disgusting and I don't even know how. I don't know

575
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:03,879
Speaker 1: how this happened. I know it really is. I have.

576
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:06,040
Speaker 1: I've been changing the sheets like every other day and

577
00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:08,640
Speaker 1: it's very hard. But to answer the question, I mean,

578
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 1: I did something that's probably people think is wrong. But

579
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:15,120
Speaker 1: like she had, we had a lock on her door,

580
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 1: and I don't think she knew that she could come

581
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:21,560
Speaker 1: out of the room until she was like four, But

582
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 1: I mean I think she didn't know that that was

583
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 1: an option. No, maybe three, And then she slowly was

584
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:30,199
Speaker 1: like oh, because it's like you can get them on

585
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:32,760
Speaker 1: Amazon and like she's safe. We have a monitor, but

586
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:35,280
Speaker 1: like you know, when she could start walking up because

587
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 1: she was she was a very early climber out of

588
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:39,480
Speaker 1: the crib or you know. Like so now she's just

589
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 1: on a bed, and but she definitely comes into the room.

590
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 1: One thing you can do is you can wake them

591
00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:49,280
Speaker 1: up at like midnight and have them pee, because then

592
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,400
Speaker 1: they don't have to pee at like four am. So

593
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 1: then if you can control because I think that's what's

594
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:56,080
Speaker 1: waking them up a lot of times is peeing. So

595
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 1: that's something. And then the other thing is you just

596
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:00,640
Speaker 1: have to be really strict about it. Like he said, Chelsea,

597
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 1: you just have to say you have to go back

598
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 1: to your room. It's kind of like the same thing

599
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 1: with the dog. You can train the dogs to not

600
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:07,120
Speaker 1: sleep in your bed. It just takes energy and work.

601
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:11,080
Speaker 1: But um inconsistency and consistency. But if you can like

602
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 1: put one of those little Amazon like the door knob

603
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,880
Speaker 1: holders like that worked for us until she was three,

604
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:18,960
Speaker 1: and then she does get into our bed a lot,

605
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:22,360
Speaker 1: but usually it's around seven am now, and so that's

606
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 1: about what it sounds like with this four year old

607
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,600
Speaker 1: though that since he's already been out of his door.

608
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 1: If you put a lock on his door, he's gonna

609
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 1: So you're gonna have to just be consistent about taking

610
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 1: him back upstairs and explaining to him that he's no lot,

611
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 1: he's too big to sleep with you. Guys, he can't

612
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:40,080
Speaker 1: sleep with you anymore. You know. It's crazy though. That's

613
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:41,840
Speaker 1: why it's so fun to hear Chelsea's version of it,

614
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 1: because I'm like, yes, that's right, but then why is

615
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:47,320
Speaker 1: my kid coming in my bed every night? Because you're right,

616
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:49,760
Speaker 1: it's just because they're so tired in the middle of

617
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 1: the night and it's upstairs. The idea of bringing him

618
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,200
Speaker 1: back up there is too annoying, and they have to

619
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:56,480
Speaker 1: go do it and like do it every single time,

620
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 1: and then eventually he just gets the message. I mean,

621
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:01,200
Speaker 1: it's like training a dog. I have a friend who

622
00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:04,200
Speaker 1: will like tell kids, and we've done this before to like,

623
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:07,560
Speaker 1: if you can do seven nights of not coming into

624
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:10,440
Speaker 1: the room, you can like get this present. And my

625
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 1: friend actually bought his kid and Incanto Lego lego set

626
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,080
Speaker 1: and showed it to her and was like, you can

627
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:22,240
Speaker 1: have this the carrot seven days if we cross out

628
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:25,800
Speaker 1: every day. But then there's other forms that you know,

629
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:28,600
Speaker 1: other mothers on Instagram or like don't bribe your children,

630
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:30,920
Speaker 1: gives a funk with anybody, whatever the fuck you can

631
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:33,400
Speaker 1: do to get your kid to sleep in their beds.

632
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:38,360
Speaker 1: I agree with that. Yeah, and they take enough energy

633
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 1: as it is if you're not sleeping on top of that,

634
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:44,560
Speaker 1: like it's over exactly, and like you know, it's it's

635
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 1: it's better because I remember I knew a kid who

636
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:48,720
Speaker 1: was like seven or eight and slept with his mom,

637
00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 1: and it seemed weird. You don't you know that that's

638
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:53,920
Speaker 1: going to come up before you know it. Also, if

639
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:56,480
Speaker 1: you do choose not the carrot version of bribery but

640
00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 1: the stick version, there's gonna be like what's the difference,

641
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,240
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Oh, Like carrot is the like put the

642
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 1: carrot in front of the donkey to get it to go,

643
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:05,960
Speaker 1: versus like hitting it with a stick. Obviously not hitting

644
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:07,960
Speaker 1: kids with sticks. But I think you're gonna have like

645
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 1: some terrible nights if you just get really strict about it,

646
00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 1: like you said, but it will quickly pass. It's you know,

647
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:16,440
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, it's like your first week at the

648
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 1: gym when you haven't gone in five years, Like it's

649
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 1: not fun, but you're gonna you're gonna be happy that

650
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:23,000
Speaker 1: you made those in roads. I have one more thing

651
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 1: to say too. I had. I had this revelation because

652
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:27,680
Speaker 1: it is like, my kid is so cute. It's so

653
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 1: hard to say no to her. She's so excited about

654
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 1: any kind of like she hasn't tasted every sweet, so

655
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:36,160
Speaker 1: she tastes something and she's like, this is blowing my mind.

656
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:39,240
Speaker 1: Like you know, it's so fun to give them stuff.

657
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 1: And I was watching the Amy Winehouse documentary and her

658
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 1: mom and it was a very tragic story obviously, and

659
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:48,480
Speaker 1: her I remember her mom said I could never say

660
00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 1: no to Amy, and I remember thinking like, this is

661
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 1: what's this is what could happen if I can't say

662
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,320
Speaker 1: no to her because it is so hard. So I'm

663
00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:01,160
Speaker 1: actually trying, almost as a religio in to say no

664
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:04,479
Speaker 1: to her because she's just like, Mom, can I have this? Please? Please?

665
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 1: Can I have it? In this many minutes? And then

666
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:08,800
Speaker 1: she'll blink her eyes and I'm just like, this is

667
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 1: like impossible. And then it doesn't hurt me to give

668
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:13,240
Speaker 1: her something or give her the extra things she wants.

669
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:15,080
Speaker 1: But it's just like a vibe. I don't know, it's

670
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:17,120
Speaker 1: a culture, and I don't think you want to create

671
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:19,680
Speaker 1: a culture where the kid is like ruling your life.

672
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 1: Uh huh. I totally get that. There's someone in my life.

673
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 1: The kids are in college now, but they had this

674
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:29,080
Speaker 1: sort of parental situation where like mom and dad weren't

675
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 1: getting along anymore, and they wound up divorcing, and like

676
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:33,760
Speaker 1: one of them decided to join the military and the

677
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,600
Speaker 1: other one converted to Catholicism even though no one in

678
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:39,400
Speaker 1: their family is Catholic, And it was like, what's going

679
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 1: on there? And we kind of realized they just really

680
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:46,080
Speaker 1: had a desire for some structure in their lives and

681
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:49,120
Speaker 1: some boundaries that they didn't get growing up. Whether or

682
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:50,800
Speaker 1: not they realize that's what they're doing, it kind of

683
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:53,000
Speaker 1: seems like that. It's so true. It's like you crave

684
00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 1: boundaries and structure. Like when I grew up, I don't

685
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:58,040
Speaker 1: think anyone ever said no to me either, and I

686
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 1: was so spoiled and so entitled. And remember my grandmother

687
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:04,080
Speaker 1: talking to my mom, going, she's so spoiled, and I

688
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 1: was like, so what that's good? You know, like I'm

689
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:09,440
Speaker 1: living my best life. But when I grew up, I

690
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:12,440
Speaker 1: had no structure as an adult, Like I still don't

691
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 1: have structure. The only structure I have, like when I

692
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:18,200
Speaker 1: did Chelsea Lately, I had. The structure of the show

693
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:20,280
Speaker 1: was the structure that I had never had my whole life.

694
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:23,480
Speaker 1: Like I had people constantly having to know where I

695
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 1: was when I was coming in, when I was going

696
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 1: to arrive for this, and I felt like I was

697
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:30,280
Speaker 1: being parented for the very first time at my own

698
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:32,680
Speaker 1: talk show because everyone had to know where I was.

699
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 1: And I remember like drawing that correlation, and I was like, Oh,

700
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 1: that's why that worked out for me, because finally I

701
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 1: had somewhere to be. Like even now, I'm so like,

702
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:43,880
Speaker 1: you know, structure list, Like if I don't have anything

703
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:45,960
Speaker 1: to do all day, I could easily find myself in

704
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,840
Speaker 1: bed from like you know, noon to five watching TV.

705
00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:52,520
Speaker 1: You'd be reading, though you sometimes sometimes I read, but

706
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 1: sometimes I don't. Sometimes I'm just like, funk, no one

707
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:58,000
Speaker 1: needs me today. I could do where the funk I want. Yes,

708
00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 1: I was outside in my back yard. I'm in this

709
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:03,440
Speaker 1: rental house. I was outside reading a book and then

710
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:05,680
Speaker 1: I was like I looked over at the little stand

711
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:07,680
Speaker 1: or the little table next to the chair I was in,

712
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:09,960
Speaker 1: and I saw joints and I was like, oh, I'll

713
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,120
Speaker 1: smoke a joint. And I was like, I guess I'll

714
00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:14,040
Speaker 1: take that. And then I was thinking, look at you,

715
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:16,759
Speaker 1: your fucking asshole, Like I just see an idea and

716
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:18,839
Speaker 1: I'm like, I could do that. You know, there's no

717
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:21,160
Speaker 1: structure and there never will be in my life because

718
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:23,160
Speaker 1: I'm just not like that. But you had a bunch

719
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:26,240
Speaker 1: of brothers and sisters, right, I didn't. They didn't provide structure.

720
00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 1: They didn't take away from people saying yes to you know,

721
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:31,759
Speaker 1: they did too because they were just like and I

722
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:34,040
Speaker 1: was so loud and obnoxious that they just wanted me

723
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:37,799
Speaker 1: to shut up. I remember once my my mom and

724
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:40,600
Speaker 1: my brother Roy were in our living room and I

725
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 1: would throw tantrums if I didn't get what I wanted,

726
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:46,600
Speaker 1: just the road kick and scream like seven eight years old,

727
00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:49,799
Speaker 1: right bang my head against the glass window and be

728
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:53,600
Speaker 1: like I wanted. And I remember my mom. I couldn't

729
00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 1: have been even ten years old, and I remember my

730
00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 1: mom going, just let her keep hitting her head. I'm

731
00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:00,279
Speaker 1: so sick of it, just let her and my brother goes, oh,

732
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:02,360
Speaker 1: and then they both walked out of the room, and

733
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:04,080
Speaker 1: I was like, I hit my head harder, you know.

734
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'll break this glass and then they'll be sorry.

735
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:11,760
Speaker 1: It's amazing I have like any sort of normal behavior

736
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:14,480
Speaker 1: at all, quite frankly, but you're such a successful person,

737
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 1: maybe it's okay to maybe. I mean, that's the thing.

738
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 1: It's like nobody knows what's right. You just have to

739
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 1: kind of go with your instincts. And I do feel

740
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:23,040
Speaker 1: like having an only child and like sometimes, you know,

741
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:24,960
Speaker 1: I'm putting her shoes and socks on, and motion is

742
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 1: trying to brush her hair, and we're like it is

743
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 1: everything okay, And then she's bawling and you're like, what's

744
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 1: wrong and she's like pine cones to nature ee and

745
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 1: you're like, oh can I can I switch it out

746
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,960
Speaker 1: for you a different pine. So it's like it's very

747
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:41,319
Speaker 1: you know, that's not good, Like we we have too

748
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,839
Speaker 1: much energy, we have too much time for just her,

749
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,200
Speaker 1: Like there's not like nine kids dispersing it, or even

750
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:48,160
Speaker 1: two kids or whatever. So I just feel like you

751
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:50,040
Speaker 1: have to really watch yourself and make sure that they

752
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:55,400
Speaker 1: aren't becoming like totally tyrants, I suppose. But that being said,

753
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:58,000
Speaker 1: that's a very cute thought of Chelsea screaming for what

754
00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:01,400
Speaker 1: she wants. I will crack my skull against this window

755
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 1: if I don't get strawberry shortcake. All yeah. I was

756
00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:08,239
Speaker 1: telling the story the other night on stage. I was like,

757
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:11,520
Speaker 1: I used to go I used to have like Turette's

758
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:13,760
Speaker 1: for like a year. I think I was auditioning Tourette's.

759
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 1: And I would go behind. My dad would, being a

760
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:18,120
Speaker 1: lazy boy, would sit in the couch in the in

761
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:21,399
Speaker 1: a living room watching the stock market all day long

762
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:23,160
Speaker 1: for what. I don't know, because he had no money

763
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:26,200
Speaker 1: in the stock market, and but like remember that scroll

764
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 1: on the bottom of the TV, like NASDAC or whatever.

765
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:30,279
Speaker 1: And he would watch it and I would stand behind

766
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:33,520
Speaker 1: him and I would just be like fuck pussy, cunt ship, motherfucker,

767
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:37,480
Speaker 1: fuck fuck shit, and my mom my dad like Chelsea,

768
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:40,280
Speaker 1: what are you saying right now? And I'm like nothing,

769
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,000
Speaker 1: And then my mom he'd like rita, my mom, and

770
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 1: he's like Rida, she's doing it again, and my mom like, sweetie,

771
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:47,640
Speaker 1: you can't talk like that. I'm like, I didn't say anything.

772
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:50,800
Speaker 1: And then I'd be like fuck, motherfucker. Cut liquor sticks.

773
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:54,840
Speaker 1: I was like Psycho, and I was like, that's Taurette's No,

774
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 1: that's that's a female comedian in the making. I think

775
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:01,399
Speaker 1: I remember Sarah's the Women saying that that's when she knew,

776
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:03,120
Speaker 1: like she would be at the grocery store saying swear

777
00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:05,439
Speaker 1: words to people like in the in the little car.

778
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:09,880
Speaker 1: I think it's like, it's a very female funny woman person.

779
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:12,960
Speaker 1: Have you spoken to Sarah recently? She had her tonsils removed,

780
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:17,319
Speaker 1: and it's almost like she has been lobotomized. She is

781
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,160
Speaker 1: and she's been recuperating for like two weeks, and she's

782
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I don't know what. I can't talk, well,

783
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:27,680
Speaker 1: she can, but it's just brutal, like what happens when

784
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:29,279
Speaker 1: tonsils are taking I told her, I'm like, I got

785
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,239
Speaker 1: my tonsils out and I went for a jog that night,

786
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:33,799
Speaker 1: and she marco poloed me and she's like, I don't

787
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,440
Speaker 1: know what kind of jog he went on, but I've

788
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:38,279
Speaker 1: been in bed for two weeks. And I was like, oh,

789
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:41,319
Speaker 1: maybe I met my wisdom teeth. Maybe I got my

790
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:45,080
Speaker 1: wisdom teeth removed, not my tonsils. Does everyone get there?

791
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:50,239
Speaker 1: But it does sound like a real common procedure. Yeah,

792
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:52,920
Speaker 1: and it's but it's big, it's invasive, and you're really

793
00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:55,399
Speaker 1: like because you have stitches in your throat. I'll check

794
00:37:55,440 --> 00:38:05,560
Speaker 1: on her. You got carried away with person stories. Our

795
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 1: next color is Regina and she'll join us as well.

796
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:12,160
Speaker 1: To your Chelsea, I'm a thirty six year old lesbian

797
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:14,960
Speaker 1: writing to you from Los Angeles, California. I've been at

798
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 1: my company for fourteen years and absolutely love my job.

799
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,480
Speaker 1: In March of this year, a twenty seven year old

800
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:23,239
Speaker 1: coworker of mine who had been at the company for

801
00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:26,239
Speaker 1: one year, began flirting with me. I flirted back because

802
00:38:26,239 --> 00:38:28,759
Speaker 1: it was fun and seemed harmless at first, since she

803
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 1: had to live in girlfriend of two years. We've been

804
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 1: friends since she came to the company, and I did

805
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:36,160
Speaker 1: not see her as someone who would ultimately cheat. Well.

806
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 1: After about two months of flirting, feelings began to surface,

807
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:42,879
Speaker 1: and we subsequently slept together by May. Since that first time,

808
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:45,880
Speaker 1: our feelings for each other have continued to become more intense.

809
00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:49,239
Speaker 1: We've grown incredibly close, continue to have sex as often

810
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:52,000
Speaker 1: as possible, and now we are in love with each other.

811
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:55,040
Speaker 1: While she has told her girlfriend that she isn't happy

812
00:38:55,080 --> 00:39:00,920
Speaker 1: in their relationship. Her girlfriend has no idea girlfriend us.

813
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:04,320
Speaker 1: She still has no idea her partner is having an affair,

814
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 1: and she does not have a plan when it comes

815
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:09,239
Speaker 1: to how to resolve the situation. She can't make up

816
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:11,360
Speaker 1: her mind of what she wants to do. I have

817
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:13,640
Speaker 1: no interest in going out and dating other people, and

818
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:15,239
Speaker 1: while I know I shouldn't wait around for her to

819
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:18,200
Speaker 1: figure out what she wants, I find myself feeling stuck

820
00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:21,000
Speaker 1: and doing just that. Because we work so closely together,

821
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:24,080
Speaker 1: ending the affair seems almost impossible. Given the fact that

822
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 1: I see her most hours of the day. I'm really

823
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:28,560
Speaker 1: at a loss as to what to do. I want

824
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 1: to be with her, but I don't want to wait

825
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:33,080
Speaker 1: around hoping she'll pick me. Any advice you have would

826
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:38,440
Speaker 1: be so appreciated. Regina, Hi, Regina Hi, Hi. Natasha la

827
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:43,960
Speaker 1: Jaros here today as our special guests. Hi. Hi, Okay, Well,

828
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:47,640
Speaker 1: hot and heavy and lesbian love affairs. I love it.

829
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:51,919
Speaker 1: I mean I have some news for you. Yeah, she's

830
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:57,000
Speaker 1: a cheater, right, I mean, this is someone who is

831
00:39:57,239 --> 00:40:03,880
Speaker 1: capable of being pretty too faced and a liar, and

832
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:10,040
Speaker 1: I would be very cautious about because, you know, if

833
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:12,880
Speaker 1: it was just about her casually dating someone else and

834
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:15,360
Speaker 1: needing to pick you. That's a different story. That's a

835
00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:18,359
Speaker 1: that's a hey, you know what, I have feelings for you.

836
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:20,880
Speaker 1: I'd like to be with you. Let me know what

837
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:22,799
Speaker 1: you want to do. But this is a little this

838
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:24,400
Speaker 1: is too much for me to have you have this

839
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:26,360
Speaker 1: other person. But I wouldn't want to be in a

840
00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:29,239
Speaker 1: relationship with someone who's that deceitful. But how long have

841
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:32,120
Speaker 1: you guys been having an affair since May? It's about

842
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:34,640
Speaker 1: six months? Yeah, I mean I think that's enough time.

843
00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:37,960
Speaker 1: Like I understand, people cheat, people have relationships and stuff.

844
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,920
Speaker 1: It's not ideal, but it happens all the time. I've

845
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:44,279
Speaker 1: had experiences with people that have been in relationships. I mean,

846
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:47,279
Speaker 1: actually once, not more than once, because I didn't want

847
00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 1: to repeat that. I don't want to make that a habit,

848
00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:52,040
Speaker 1: and I'm sure you don't either. But I think that's

849
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:54,719
Speaker 1: enough time. You've established that you're in love with her.

850
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:58,160
Speaker 1: She's probably established the same thing. You feel that way.

851
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:00,880
Speaker 1: I understand you see her every day and that very difficult,

852
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 1: but I think out of respect for yourself, you really

853
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:06,760
Speaker 1: have to like draw the line in the sand and say, okay,

854
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:09,359
Speaker 1: we've experimented with this. It's been six months. That's been

855
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:11,879
Speaker 1: plenty of time for you to unravel your past relationship.

856
00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:14,719
Speaker 1: We all understand breaking up is difficult, but the way

857
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:17,440
Speaker 1: that you see it's like it's just too deceitful. You

858
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:19,759
Speaker 1: can't be a part of this anymore. You can't be

859
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:23,839
Speaker 1: a participant in somebody who's lying to their spouse. I mean,

860
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:26,200
Speaker 1: even if they're not married, they're in a relationship and

861
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:29,600
Speaker 1: she is actively lying and you are too because of it.

862
00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:32,919
Speaker 1: And you're not so weak that you can't control yourself.

863
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:35,040
Speaker 1: You may think that, but that's not true. You can

864
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:38,360
Speaker 1: control yourself. And I think laying down a boundary is

865
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:41,200
Speaker 1: going to bring everything to the surface, because if she's

866
00:41:41,239 --> 00:41:43,719
Speaker 1: going to leave this woman, she will. Then if you're like,

867
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:46,200
Speaker 1: I'm not participating in this anymore, I can't have good

868
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:49,399
Speaker 1: mind have an affair with somebody that's in a relationship.

869
00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:51,400
Speaker 1: Either you want to be with me, and if you

870
00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:52,920
Speaker 1: don't want to be with me, that's fine, but I'm

871
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:56,040
Speaker 1: not doing this anymore. You know. I think you have

872
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:58,640
Speaker 1: to really stand up for yourself and stand up for

873
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:00,839
Speaker 1: that other woman too, because is you would never want

874
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,319
Speaker 1: this to happen to anyone, and it's karmically. It's just

875
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:07,400
Speaker 1: so bad to participating this kind of ship. And you

876
00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:11,440
Speaker 1: said you work together. Yeah, that's an issue because you

877
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:14,359
Speaker 1: really need some space from her and she's breaking up

878
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:16,600
Speaker 1: with a long term partner is not easy, and so

879
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:19,759
Speaker 1: it's something that you guys kind of need your individual

880
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:22,759
Speaker 1: space for. So I would maybe try to look and

881
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:25,200
Speaker 1: see how how you could achieve that. I don't know

882
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:28,239
Speaker 1: the particular situation, but you can't be like breaking up

883
00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 1: with your lover and then see them every day at work.

884
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:33,879
Speaker 1: I mean, that's so hard. That's why they say, don't

885
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:38,960
Speaker 1: do that exactly right, And I mean I I certainly

886
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:41,520
Speaker 1: didn't intend for it to get to the place that

887
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:44,160
Speaker 1: it's now gotten to, but it is where we are.

888
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:48,879
Speaker 1: And I agree that I have initiated a stopping of this,

889
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:51,399
Speaker 1: like let's take a break so you can figure this out.

890
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:54,319
Speaker 1: And I have trouble with boundaries anyways, But when it

891
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:56,880
Speaker 1: comes to seeing her day in and day out, it

892
00:42:56,920 --> 00:42:59,279
Speaker 1: I like what you said, Chelsea, it feels impossible, but

893
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:02,120
Speaker 1: I know that it's not. It just it feels that way. No,

894
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:04,200
Speaker 1: You're gonna also have a lot more to respect for

895
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:06,560
Speaker 1: yourself when you stand up and say like, I'm sorry,

896
00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:08,760
Speaker 1: but this is kind of beneath both of us because

897
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:10,640
Speaker 1: it is that's a good way to say it. But

898
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 1: you can't then fuck her. She just did the astex motion,

899
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:18,080
Speaker 1: you know. Yeah. I think like when you make statements

900
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:20,400
Speaker 1: and proclamations like what I'm telling you to do, you

901
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:22,640
Speaker 1: really have to stand behind them. If I'm in a

902
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:25,680
Speaker 1: relationship with somebody and I say something, I I didn't

903
00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:28,279
Speaker 1: always do this, but I in my adult life, I

904
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:30,880
Speaker 1: mean it. There are boundaries and there are behaviors that

905
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:33,200
Speaker 1: are beneath me, and I won't participate in that, and

906
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 1: I won't let anyone treat me in a way that

907
00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:38,520
Speaker 1: doesn't feel like that I'm as excellent as I am,

908
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 1: which is how you should see yourself. Do you have

909
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:44,359
Speaker 1: like a break coming up? Because I think it can

910
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:47,640
Speaker 1: really help to just like completely cut off contact if possible,

911
00:43:47,719 --> 00:43:50,640
Speaker 1: for like even two weeks or something. So, So what's

912
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:53,359
Speaker 1: what's really helpful and falls in with good timing here

913
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:57,920
Speaker 1: is that I'm going to South America tomorrow for eleven days. Great,

914
00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:01,080
Speaker 1: there you go, and I you don't want to talk

915
00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:02,960
Speaker 1: to her while while you're there, So I think you

916
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:05,040
Speaker 1: need to have this conversation with her before you go.

917
00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:07,840
Speaker 1: Let her know you're gonna take a little time to yourself.

918
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:10,040
Speaker 1: You're not happy with things how they are. You don't

919
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:12,480
Speaker 1: want to keep being deceitful. It doesn't sit right with you.

920
00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:15,719
Speaker 1: So if she wants to continue with you, she's going

921
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:19,000
Speaker 1: to have to like talk to her person and change

922
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:21,680
Speaker 1: the situation and ask her maybe to not contact you.

923
00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 1: What do you think about that time? Yeah, I'm down

924
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:26,040
Speaker 1: with that, but I'm just so the job situation. Katherine

925
00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:28,040
Speaker 1: told me what you did. Is there any possibility of

926
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:31,719
Speaker 1: you changing that job situation and getting a job elsewhere

927
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 1: or well? Yeah, I mean I I put in the

928
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:36,680
Speaker 1: in the email that you know, she's worked here for

929
00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:38,960
Speaker 1: about a year and a half. I've been here fourteen years,

930
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:41,759
Speaker 1: and I mean, I've really like earned my tenure here

931
00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:44,160
Speaker 1: in my career and it's curtainly not a position that

932
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:47,919
Speaker 1: I favored to have to leave, right But I think

933
00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:50,600
Speaker 1: that it probably falls more in the line of something

934
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:53,840
Speaker 1: that she could do, but it's not in the cards

935
00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:56,759
Speaker 1: in the immediate future. I mean, I I'm certainly not

936
00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 1: going to give up what I have with my career

937
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:03,840
Speaker 1: for Okay, yeah, then that's then that's settled. Then you

938
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:06,480
Speaker 1: don't have to you've been there for a long time. Absolutely,

939
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:08,799
Speaker 1: But you're stronger than you think, So I think I

940
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,440
Speaker 1: think you should have this conversation with her today and

941
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:14,160
Speaker 1: mean it. You know what I mean, and mean it. Obviously,

942
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:16,520
Speaker 1: when we break up with somebody, we vacillate, we miss them.

943
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:18,919
Speaker 1: We're like, oh, well, maybe if I do this, they'll

944
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:21,239
Speaker 1: finally see the light. Or maybe if I if they

945
00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:23,160
Speaker 1: see me one more time or talk to me one

946
00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:26,360
Speaker 1: more time, it's like, no, no, just act in honor

947
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:29,480
Speaker 1: and with honor, and I'm sure what's supposed to happen

948
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:32,400
Speaker 1: is going to happen. And she obviously needs one last

949
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:34,960
Speaker 1: push to get rid of that relationship. It's obviously not

950
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:38,719
Speaker 1: working for her either. It's probably not sexually working for her.

951
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:40,560
Speaker 1: It might be working for her in other ways, but

952
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:45,200
Speaker 1: she's clearly getting her sex from you. And I'll have

953
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:48,399
Speaker 1: sex with you if you want it, but don't forget

954
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 1: to tell her all the things you really like about her.

955
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:51,560
Speaker 1: If you do think that you guys could have a

956
00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:55,319
Speaker 1: future together, you don't want to just be like scolding her. No, no, no, no.

957
00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:58,240
Speaker 1: It's a very adult way, just like two part ways.

958
00:45:58,320 --> 00:46:00,600
Speaker 1: It's just in an adult way, like I'm so sorry,

959
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:03,279
Speaker 1: but just use that language. This is beneath both of us,

960
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:05,960
Speaker 1: and I'm not I'm not cool with it anymore. So

961
00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:08,080
Speaker 1: I need my space. I would like to, you know,

962
00:46:08,239 --> 00:46:10,720
Speaker 1: just move on and if you want to come back,

963
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:12,440
Speaker 1: and you know, if you're going to break up, then

964
00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:15,840
Speaker 1: we have something to talk about. Otherwise we don't. That's great.

965
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:17,160
Speaker 1: And I have one more thing to add to it

966
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:18,840
Speaker 1: that I think could really help, because I have a

967
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:21,680
Speaker 1: lot of success with scripts because like I can get

968
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:24,520
Speaker 1: like talked into things really easily, and so I find

969
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:26,400
Speaker 1: if I make a phone call it's best and I

970
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:28,719
Speaker 1: write down what I want to say for these really

971
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:31,279
Speaker 1: important conversations sometimes if it makes sense for it to

972
00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:33,640
Speaker 1: not be in person, and just like you can just

973
00:46:33,719 --> 00:46:36,839
Speaker 1: keep referencing it and repeating it, you know, and then

974
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:38,400
Speaker 1: you can just kind of say you have to go,

975
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:41,279
Speaker 1: because then they can't pull you into like the thing

976
00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:43,080
Speaker 1: that Chelsea said, this has beneath you can just keep

977
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:45,880
Speaker 1: repeating it in different ways, and like then it's not

978
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:48,719
Speaker 1: in person and you forget what you're thinking and they

979
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:52,600
Speaker 1: get you off track and then they start sucking right,

980
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,120
Speaker 1: there's no chance of your fucking if you're not if

981
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:58,560
Speaker 1: you're on the phone and when that's and that's was

982
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:00,759
Speaker 1: one of the comments I was going to make, is that,

983
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 1: you know, the two times that I've said let's stop,

984
00:47:03,719 --> 00:47:05,760
Speaker 1: like to you know, to give it her a break

985
00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:09,319
Speaker 1: and take some time, I really meant it in the moment, right,

986
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:12,920
Speaker 1: I really felt that way in that moment. And whatever

987
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:15,040
Speaker 1: time passes by a day or two and I see

988
00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:17,120
Speaker 1: her at work and I'm like, well, fuck, I don't

989
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:18,839
Speaker 1: feel that way anymore. You know, I'm not I don't

990
00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:21,560
Speaker 1: feel so like angry about it or and I just

991
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:23,919
Speaker 1: kind of like fall back in Well, you've thought about

992
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:26,200
Speaker 1: it a little more deeply now, and you know that

993
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:29,359
Speaker 1: it's not sitting well with you because more time has

994
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:32,359
Speaker 1: passed and more deceit and more you know that it's

995
00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:36,719
Speaker 1: horrible for someone to be lying to their partner, you know,

996
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:40,440
Speaker 1: like it's happened to me, It's happened to probably most people.

997
00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:42,960
Speaker 1: But it is like the most horrifying feeling to know

998
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:46,000
Speaker 1: that someone's like fucking someone else when they're with you

999
00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:50,880
Speaker 1: and not telling you. It's really it's really awful. And

1000
00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:53,239
Speaker 1: I think you raised a really good point right at

1001
00:47:53,239 --> 00:47:56,560
Speaker 1: the beginning, Natasha as well, like if you were to

1002
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:58,839
Speaker 1: be the one who she picked, is there ever a

1003
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:01,640
Speaker 1: point that you would be thinking, who is she out

1004
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:04,680
Speaker 1: there fucking? Like? Who is she out there cheating on me? With? Right?

1005
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:07,600
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, I don't think everyone who cheats on

1006
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:10,560
Speaker 1: their spouse is a lifelong cheater, like or their partner.

1007
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:12,640
Speaker 1: Like I think certain people fall in love and then

1008
00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:15,160
Speaker 1: they find the right person. I don't think they're always

1009
00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:17,239
Speaker 1: you know, I don't define people in that way. So

1010
00:48:17,320 --> 00:48:19,560
Speaker 1: I don't want you to feel hopeless that she's not

1011
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:22,520
Speaker 1: a possibility if she does the right thing now. But yeah,

1012
00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:25,040
Speaker 1: all of that stuff is stuff to consider. And you

1013
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:27,360
Speaker 1: know you've already attempted to break up with her a

1014
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:29,520
Speaker 1: couple of times, Like now you can do it, so

1015
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:31,360
Speaker 1: you know that the writing is on the wall, and

1016
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:33,040
Speaker 1: like you're strong enough to do it, and you're gonna

1017
00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:36,319
Speaker 1: feel dignified about it. You're right, Chelsea, I've cheated on

1018
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:40,479
Speaker 1: people before. Yeah, but I'm not a cheater, right right, Well,

1019
00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:44,000
Speaker 1: that's right, fair, I mean same here. Yeah, just one

1020
00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:46,839
Speaker 1: final question though, if I if I have that conversation

1021
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:50,000
Speaker 1: which I plan on having, tomorrow because my flights tomorrow night,

1022
00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:52,239
Speaker 1: and I just as we talked about, I'll write the

1023
00:48:52,239 --> 00:48:54,080
Speaker 1: script out do all those things. Can I have sex

1024
00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:59,880
Speaker 1: with her one more time? No? Oh, you can master

1025
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:03,880
Speaker 1: bait like this is a test for you, and you

1026
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:05,920
Speaker 1: need to fucking follow up with us now that you

1027
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:09,000
Speaker 1: just said that, you need to follow up with us

1028
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:11,920
Speaker 1: in one month. No more sex. You're stronger than sex.

1029
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:15,640
Speaker 1: Sex is whatever. You can go funk people in South America.

1030
00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:19,520
Speaker 1: I mean, what are you talking about. There are people

1031
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:24,080
Speaker 1: everywhere to have sex with. It's just really but don't

1032
00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:27,880
Speaker 1: say it's just really really good. It's not worth it anymore.

1033
00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:32,719
Speaker 1: You had enough sex with her? That's enough, Jesus. Can

1034
00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:34,960
Speaker 1: I have sex with her one more time? There's the

1035
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:39,400
Speaker 1: title of this episode. Anyway, have fun in South America.

1036
00:49:39,719 --> 00:49:43,279
Speaker 1: No more pussy pounding until you get there. Okay, and

1037
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:45,719
Speaker 1: just wait and I probably I bet you it's gonna

1038
00:49:45,719 --> 00:49:47,399
Speaker 1: all work out exactly the way you want it, by

1039
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:51,120
Speaker 1: being strong, not by being weak. And download whatever the

1040
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:56,719
Speaker 1: grinder app is in South America. Yes, the women are

1041
00:49:56,719 --> 00:50:00,000
Speaker 1: hot down there. Yeah that's true. That's a good point. Yeah,

1042
00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:03,480
Speaker 1: good luck, honey, all right, thank you so much. Follow

1043
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:04,799
Speaker 1: up with us in a month. I want to hear

1044
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:10,720
Speaker 1: what happens. Okay, okay, okay, thanks. That was a good reminder, Chelsea.

1045
00:50:10,760 --> 00:50:13,920
Speaker 1: People aren't always cheaters. I guess I was, but I

1046
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 1: just mean, like, if you're the person cheating with them, like,

1047
00:50:16,600 --> 00:50:18,480
Speaker 1: I don't know that I would get past thinking like

1048
00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:21,520
Speaker 1: who are they out? You know, it's I think people

1049
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:23,920
Speaker 1: can change, but I just think I used to be

1050
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:28,080
Speaker 1: so jealous of like hot Nanny's hot people coming over,

1051
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:30,600
Speaker 1: and then the pandemic happened and I was just like,

1052
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:35,920
Speaker 1: take him, come on, like this will make my life easier,

1053
00:50:37,360 --> 00:50:40,680
Speaker 1: you can. I used to like try to wear cute outfits,

1054
00:50:40,719 --> 00:50:44,960
Speaker 1: not like I don't want to look too sexy. Oh no,

1055
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:51,560
Speaker 1: this is see through from Uh. Well, let's take a

1056
00:50:51,680 --> 00:50:59,400
Speaker 1: quick break and we'll be right back. And we're back.

1057
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:02,719
Speaker 1: We're back. Well, this is the part of the show,

1058
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:04,959
Speaker 1: Natasha where I would like to know if you have

1059
00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:08,399
Speaker 1: any advice you'd like to get from Chelsea. Do would

1060
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:12,960
Speaker 1: you like some parenting advice? Well, I know that we're similar,

1061
00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:15,560
Speaker 1: like we both like nice things, you know. I take

1062
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:18,520
Speaker 1: pride in my things. I like my house a certain way,

1063
00:51:18,680 --> 00:51:21,799
Speaker 1: and that's a thing of the past. Pretty much. However,

1064
00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:26,239
Speaker 1: I don't want to nag my husband, so and I've

1065
00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:29,279
Speaker 1: already told him like twice. So I have these like

1066
00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:32,040
Speaker 1: beautiful towels that have my name on them that I

1067
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:34,759
Speaker 1: had monogrammed because like that's just special to me. I

1068
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:37,399
Speaker 1: like old Hollywood, Like I thought it was cool. He

1069
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:39,960
Speaker 1: when he leaves the bedroom, we're supposed to put a

1070
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:42,920
Speaker 1: peepad out for the dogs. He's been using my monogrammed

1071
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:45,400
Speaker 1: towels but laying them out, like all spread out, so

1072
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:50,080
Speaker 1: that's where they pee. They're white, they say Natasha on them.

1073
00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:53,040
Speaker 1: I've already told him once and I'm like, please, don't

1074
00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:55,600
Speaker 1: use those towels. He's like, cool, so they don't be

1075
00:51:55,719 --> 00:51:57,960
Speaker 1: on the wood floor and I'm like no, And so

1076
00:51:58,040 --> 00:51:59,560
Speaker 1: then he did it again. And I know if I

1077
00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:02,400
Speaker 1: say some thing, but like what would you do? You would?

1078
00:52:03,160 --> 00:52:07,200
Speaker 1: Isn't that appalling? Yeah? It's sucking appalling. I mean honestly,

1079
00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:10,279
Speaker 1: I fucking screamed at him, like what what doesn't mean?

1080
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:12,680
Speaker 1: What's well? No, I mean not about a towel, but

1081
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:15,279
Speaker 1: I mean, what doesn't he get about the situation? How much?

1082
00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:16,879
Speaker 1: Why do you have to be more clear than that?

1083
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:19,000
Speaker 1: Why is he using those towels, and don't you guys

1084
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:21,799
Speaker 1: use pepads. We have pepads. He has a d D,

1085
00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:24,120
Speaker 1: so he thinks he's like killing it because he remembers.

1086
00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:30,160
Speaker 1: Does he take adderall? No, you think he needs that? Yeah,

1087
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:35,520
Speaker 1: everyone get him on adderall. There's a pill for every solution.

1088
00:52:36,239 --> 00:52:38,680
Speaker 1: Every problem, there's a pill solution. No. I think if

1089
00:52:38,760 --> 00:52:41,439
Speaker 1: people have a d D and they're not actively trying

1090
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:43,719
Speaker 1: to d program the a d D, then yeah, they

1091
00:52:43,719 --> 00:52:46,279
Speaker 1: should be on adderall because it fucking makes you focus.

1092
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:50,719
Speaker 1: But so deep program I mean yeah, but that's like

1093
00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:53,400
Speaker 1: meditation and you know, like you have to really focus.

1094
00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:54,960
Speaker 1: I had really bad a d D and I do

1095
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,560
Speaker 1: not have it anymore. Really, yes, I have gotten rid

1096
00:52:57,560 --> 00:53:00,480
Speaker 1: of it, really yeah, with a lot of men titation

1097
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:03,240
Speaker 1: and concentration. Like I put my phone away, I read,

1098
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:05,680
Speaker 1: you know, I sometimes it comes back in. But I

1099
00:53:05,760 --> 00:53:07,759
Speaker 1: used to be in the middle of conversations and just

1100
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:09,719
Speaker 1: be like, what is happening right now? You know what

1101
00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:11,360
Speaker 1: I mean? My mind would be off in a million

1102
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:14,000
Speaker 1: different directions, and I'm not like that anymore. Would you

1103
00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:17,200
Speaker 1: like lose your phone and be scatter brained? I always

1104
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:19,080
Speaker 1: I was a hot mess, for sure, because like he

1105
00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:22,680
Speaker 1: never has his credit card, he never has his light. Everything.

1106
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:27,520
Speaker 1: There's a chaos that I'm enveloped in and it's very hard.

1107
00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:29,680
Speaker 1: And can you just put those towels somewhere where he

1108
00:53:29,719 --> 00:53:32,120
Speaker 1: can't find them? I mean they are I'd like to

1109
00:53:32,200 --> 00:53:35,279
Speaker 1: keep them in the bathroom, right, but I guess I

1110
00:53:35,320 --> 00:53:39,080
Speaker 1: could get a safe or you or you could just

1111
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:41,719
Speaker 1: put nice little post it notes on them saying do

1112
00:53:41,840 --> 00:53:45,520
Speaker 1: not touch these. Yeah, I know it's it's because it's

1113
00:53:45,560 --> 00:53:47,680
Speaker 1: like and then you want to get nice things for them,

1114
00:53:47,719 --> 00:53:50,359
Speaker 1: for these guys, and it's like they don't deserve, they

1115
00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:54,920
Speaker 1: don't appreciate nice towels, and he doesn't care. Can you

1116
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,719
Speaker 1: use those to clean up the dog pist? Well, I

1117
00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:59,120
Speaker 1: mean it wasn't even leaving. It wasn't even to clean

1118
00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:00,759
Speaker 1: up the dog pist. It was he was laying it

1119
00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:02,719
Speaker 1: out as a nice little thing for the dogs to

1120
00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:06,160
Speaker 1: deficate on. But yeah, it's the a d D. And

1121
00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:08,480
Speaker 1: it does keep coming back in all these different ways.

1122
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:10,719
Speaker 1: A d D is so annoying to be around. It's

1123
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:14,200
Speaker 1: any I know that I thought it was cute, and

1124
00:54:14,239 --> 00:54:17,680
Speaker 1: then once we had the kid, it became something a

1125
00:54:17,719 --> 00:54:20,840
Speaker 1: little less manageable. You should have him try and adderall.

1126
00:54:21,160 --> 00:54:23,080
Speaker 1: I know it's like terrible to say, but it's like

1127
00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:25,879
Speaker 1: such a good solution. Like my friend's dad is on it,

1128
00:54:26,280 --> 00:54:27,879
Speaker 1: and he I go, what's it like if you don't

1129
00:54:27,920 --> 00:54:30,359
Speaker 1: take it? He's like, I can't focus on anything. I'm

1130
00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:31,759
Speaker 1: all over the place. I go to the store and

1131
00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:33,600
Speaker 1: I forget where I'm going. I get distracted with this

1132
00:54:33,680 --> 00:54:35,120
Speaker 1: and then i'll talk to you a person. I forget

1133
00:54:35,120 --> 00:54:37,120
Speaker 1: what I have to do. He's like, my whole life

1134
00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:39,680
Speaker 1: is different, Like on my quality of life, I'm able

1135
00:54:39,719 --> 00:54:42,239
Speaker 1: to like go from A to B to C two D.

1136
00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:44,440
Speaker 1: He's like, I had no idea you could live like that.

1137
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:47,320
Speaker 1: So for people who have serious A D D, adderall

1138
00:54:47,520 --> 00:54:50,080
Speaker 1: is you know, that's what kids take or riddle in,

1139
00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:52,680
Speaker 1: depending on what you have. But yeah, I don't know.

1140
00:54:52,760 --> 00:54:55,400
Speaker 1: I think that's a good solution. But he's sober, so

1141
00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:57,600
Speaker 1: that that's an issue, so we can't take out of all.

1142
00:54:57,800 --> 00:55:00,480
Speaker 1: I don't know. I did have a boyfriend once who sober,

1143
00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:03,080
Speaker 1: and he acted like when his adderall came, it was

1144
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:05,239
Speaker 1: like he was snorting it and it was like he

1145
00:55:05,280 --> 00:55:08,080
Speaker 1: had adderall for thirty days, but like the twenty feet

1146
00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:10,120
Speaker 1: day he was out of it, he'd start freaking out.

1147
00:55:12,840 --> 00:55:15,320
Speaker 1: Most is not like that, but yeah, who knows. I

1148
00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:16,759
Speaker 1: don't know. A lot of people think it's gonna like

1149
00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:19,440
Speaker 1: dull their creativity, and I find that to be a

1150
00:55:19,480 --> 00:55:22,520
Speaker 1: misnomer too, or a fallacy. I should say, a lot

1151
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:24,200
Speaker 1: of people say that and then they take it and

1152
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:26,719
Speaker 1: you're like, no, you're much better this way. But yeah,

1153
00:55:26,719 --> 00:55:29,520
Speaker 1: you're right. It's definitely suddictive because people use it to party.

1154
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:32,080
Speaker 1: Maybe he should start doing cocaine, or maybe you should

1155
00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:34,759
Speaker 1: just yeah, I mean, is there a possibility of you

1156
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:40,160
Speaker 1: getting out of the marriage. I'm taking my towels with me. Well,

1157
00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:42,960
Speaker 1: I'm I hope he answered your towel question, even though

1158
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:44,960
Speaker 1: I know we did it. No, I know, it was

1159
00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:47,200
Speaker 1: just kind of like a I wanted you to know

1160
00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:53,360
Speaker 1: that's what happens. It was like barely a question for advice,

1161
00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:56,320
Speaker 1: because there really isn't anything you can do except pity

1162
00:55:56,400 --> 00:55:59,440
Speaker 1: me and be glad that I'm not in that situation.

1163
00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:03,920
Speaker 1: But the world would deserve your children. Thank you. The

1164
00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:08,360
Speaker 1: world deserves my children is Natasha la Jarrow's book. Order one,

1165
00:56:08,560 --> 00:56:11,680
Speaker 1: or go to an independent bookstore and buy one. Support

1166
00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:15,759
Speaker 1: independent bookstores, or order one from Amazon, whatever floats your boat.

1167
00:56:15,800 --> 00:56:19,000
Speaker 1: But please get this book because it's so fucking funny. Yes,

1168
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:21,080
Speaker 1: and it comes out in November. Fifteen, comes out in November,

1169
00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:26,759
Speaker 1: and I'll be on a tour. I'm going to Philly, Boston, Nashville, Denver, Chicago,

1170
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:32,520
Speaker 1: and my homeland, Maria. What is that, Natasha la dot com?

1171
00:56:32,600 --> 00:56:35,879
Speaker 1: Is that where people can tickets? Okay, all right, thank

1172
00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:38,480
Speaker 1: you Natasha. It's always a pleasure to be around you.

1173
00:56:38,719 --> 00:56:42,040
Speaker 1: Thank you you too. I'm so excited. So I am

1174
00:56:42,080 --> 00:56:44,960
Speaker 1: winding up my stand up tour. Vaccinated and Horning is

1175
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:47,239
Speaker 1: coming to a screeching halt at the end of the year.

1176
00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:51,080
Speaker 1: I have my last dates coming up, and these are

1177
00:56:51,120 --> 00:56:54,120
Speaker 1: the last opportunities. You have to also buy merch from

1178
00:56:54,200 --> 00:56:57,200
Speaker 1: the website Chelsea Hammler dot com. If you want Vaccinating

1179
00:56:57,320 --> 00:57:00,520
Speaker 1: Horny Captain's hats, let's say where the Captain's now for

1180
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:03,240
Speaker 1: women only? Our t shirts for men in your family

1181
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:06,359
Speaker 1: that say I'm sorry because they should be. I only

1182
00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:09,400
Speaker 1: have a few dates left. Two shows in Tampa, a

1183
00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:14,600
Speaker 1: show in Fort Myers, Florida, Daytona Beach, Hollywood, Florida, Concord,

1184
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:22,040
Speaker 1: New Hampshire, Wooster Mass, Wilkes Berry, Pennsylvania, Wilke's Berry, Pennsylvania.

1185
00:57:22,200 --> 00:57:26,360
Speaker 1: There I said it, and then San Diego and Riverside, California,

1186
00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:28,960
Speaker 1: and then Baltimore, Maryland, and then my very last date

1187
00:57:29,040 --> 00:57:33,360
Speaker 1: is December six in Reading, Pennsylvania. If you are enjoying

1188
00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:36,120
Speaker 1: what you're hearing, you can subscribe to Dear Chelsea. That

1189
00:57:36,360 --> 00:57:40,960
Speaker 1: is our podcast, and you can rate us if you want. Yeah,

1190
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:43,560
Speaker 1: that's a great idea. It actually makes a huge difference

1191
00:57:43,640 --> 00:57:47,720
Speaker 1: for this podcast, for any podcast that you like, subscribing

1192
00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:49,920
Speaker 1: giving it a rating actually make a huge difference in

1193
00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:54,360
Speaker 1: who all we gets served too, and helping spread the word. Okay, Yeah,

1194
00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:58,720
Speaker 1: subscribe and and and comment, yeah, and follow. So if

1195
00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:01,120
Speaker 1: you'd like advice from Chelsea, see just send us an

1196
00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:05,760
Speaker 1: email at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. Dear

1197
00:58:05,840 --> 00:58:09,520
Speaker 1: Chelsea is a production of I Heart Radio. Executive produced

1198
00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:12,840
Speaker 1: by Nick Stuff, produced by Catherine Law, and edited and

1199
00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:14,480
Speaker 1: engineered by Brad Dickert.