1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:05,480 Speaker 1: Something still world of its head. 2 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:07,400 Speaker 2: Would you believe. 3 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:19,640 Speaker 1: Your mind? Nozillion pieces? Would you believe bananas? 4 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:29,160 Speaker 2: Baby bananas, banana? Bananas, baby bananas, banana? Oh yeah, here 5 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:32,519 Speaker 2: we go. That's Kurt Brown Owler mm hmmmm. 6 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:35,120 Speaker 1: Hmm, it's me. That's Gotti Landis. 7 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:38,239 Speaker 2: That's right. And you were listening to one of the 8 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:45,159 Speaker 2: regionally famous bananas Mini so Bananas, only on Stitcher Premium 9 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:49,159 Speaker 2: and only with exactly right media. Exactly right. You like 10 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:54,320 Speaker 2: dead people also bananas. How are you doing, buddy boy? 11 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 1: Oh I'm pretty good. I'm pretty fine, thanks for asking. 12 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,880 Speaker 1: And got caught in a rainstorm this morning. 13 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:04,759 Speaker 2: Very rare out here, very rare, not even notable anywhere 14 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:06,720 Speaker 2: else in the world unless you're like in the Gobi 15 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:07,760 Speaker 2: desert or something. 16 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:10,959 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it doesn't sneak It sneaks up on you 17 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:12,920 Speaker 1: sometimes too, you don't expect it. 18 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:16,600 Speaker 2: Damn right, damn right. Well that's fun. How are you 19 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:22,440 Speaker 2: smooth sailing over here? I have been friends with someone 20 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:28,200 Speaker 2: through Twitter for probably eleven years, and I'm gonna go 21 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 2: meet them in person tonight now, the first time ever 22 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,600 Speaker 2: there in Los Angeles with their partner. And they said, 23 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:35,920 Speaker 2: if we don't do it now, we'll probably never do it. 24 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,120 Speaker 2: So I'm gonna head to the West Side and hang 25 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:39,920 Speaker 2: out with internet friends. 26 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 1: Oh that's fun. 27 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:43,000 Speaker 2: I'm pumped on it. 28 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:44,639 Speaker 1: Oh good, that'll be a real treat. 29 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:47,200 Speaker 2: I don't mind. I like after the Great Car. It's 30 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,880 Speaker 2: just so fun meeting new people. And it's just gonna 31 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:51,680 Speaker 2: be those things where it'll be like we do know 32 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:55,000 Speaker 2: a wild amount about each other, we've just never been 33 00:01:55,600 --> 00:02:00,600 Speaker 2: friends in person, a very two thousands type of friendship. 34 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:03,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I have. I have I have a 35 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,160 Speaker 1: multiple friends that were just from Twitter back in the day. 36 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:11,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's nice. Yeah, Twitter used to be cool. It 37 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,240 Speaker 2: used to be telling jokes. Now it's just telling everybody 38 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,160 Speaker 2: what's wrong with them and why you hate each other. 39 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,120 Speaker 2: But it used to be just funny people trying to 40 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:18,720 Speaker 2: make each other. 41 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:22,680 Speaker 1: Laugh and really really dumb jokes, like a lot of 42 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:25,560 Speaker 1: wordplay and puns. It was a very enjoyable all right, 43 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:28,440 Speaker 1: nice story. This is what we do on bananas minisos. 44 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:30,640 Speaker 1: We tell your stories, then we tell our stories. 45 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 2: Heard of it? 46 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,760 Speaker 1: Easy, here's god, here's one. Let's get us started. I 47 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:39,560 Speaker 1: love it. This was emailed in by Ashley Buker. 48 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:41,800 Speaker 2: Thank you, Ashley. Buker. 49 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,959 Speaker 1: First of all, I've never wanted to be real life 50 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:47,239 Speaker 1: friends with two people so badly. Okay, storytime, there we go. 51 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:51,120 Speaker 2: That is a natural segue. It might happen, mm hmm. 52 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,680 Speaker 1: I went to law school part time in the evenings, 53 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,920 Speaker 1: so the cast of characters was way more diverse than 54 00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:59,560 Speaker 1: quote normal law school because most of us were working 55 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:02,919 Speaker 1: and old with families. First off, cool, move to go. 56 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 1: I mean law school, law school at night, That's awesome. 57 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:09,800 Speaker 1: I would love to go back to school at some point. 58 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:10,399 Speaker 2: Me too. 59 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:14,519 Speaker 1: I don't know what I would study, but philosophy probably. Harry, 60 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 1: one of my best friends, was quite a bit older 61 00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:19,280 Speaker 1: than me, maybe ten to fifteen years. She was also 62 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:21,280 Speaker 1: the type of person who, if you spent enough time 63 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,440 Speaker 1: around her, you could tell she had serious money, but 64 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:26,560 Speaker 1: it wasn't obvious. She would do things like offer an 65 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:29,960 Speaker 1: antique Persian rug to you if you mentioned you liked it, 66 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,440 Speaker 1: because she had quote a bunch more in the attic 67 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:35,440 Speaker 1: no big yes. Yeah. When we took the bar exam, 68 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:38,000 Speaker 1: we shared a hotel room at the convention center, so 69 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:39,560 Speaker 1: neither of us had to deal with the stress of 70 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:42,760 Speaker 1: driving and parking on the mornings of the test. The 71 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 1: night after the first day of testing. Whoa, it's multiple 72 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:49,680 Speaker 1: days of testing. I didn't know. We had a glass 73 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 1: of wine to decompress, and she told me the story 74 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,800 Speaker 1: that finally pushed me over the edge to say, normal 75 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:57,440 Speaker 1: people do not have these stories. Where the fuck did 76 00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 1: all your money come from? 77 00:03:58,680 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 2: Yeah? 78 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:02,600 Speaker 1: No shit, story told from her perspective in the sweetest 79 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:05,320 Speaker 1: southern drawl. So this was the story that made her 80 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,400 Speaker 1: ask the question of where did everybody. 81 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:09,120 Speaker 2: Come Okay, I got you quote. 82 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 1: A few years back, my husband and I were at 83 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:13,760 Speaker 1: the Vatican and I decided I wanted to purchase a 84 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:17,159 Speaker 1: piece of art. I chose something. I chose something in 85 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:20,440 Speaker 1: one of the gift shop galleries. When I went to pay, 86 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:23,839 Speaker 1: the gallerying me up noticed my black amex and said, oh, 87 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:25,880 Speaker 1: you don't want this art. You want the art that's 88 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:28,279 Speaker 1: in the basement. Did you know there's a basement in 89 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:31,920 Speaker 1: the Vatican. I sure didn't. So she called someone over 90 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,520 Speaker 1: to take us downstairs and show us the basement art. 91 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:37,279 Speaker 1: We were walking through all of these tunnels and I 92 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 1: noticed buckets on the ground along the way. They were 93 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,560 Speaker 1: filled with penises, marble penises. 94 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,640 Speaker 2: Okay, thanks for the clarification. 95 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,919 Speaker 1: It turns out one of the popes decided that it 96 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:53,960 Speaker 1: wasn't proper to have penises on display, so he ordered 97 00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:57,479 Speaker 1: all of them to be chiseled off of all the 98 00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:04,640 Speaker 1: sculptures in on Now it's someone's full time job to 99 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,280 Speaker 1: try to match up the right penis with the right statue. 100 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:13,560 Speaker 1: But there are just dozens and dozens of buckets of 101 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,520 Speaker 1: penises in the basement of the Vatican. 102 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,760 Speaker 2: Incredible wild uh. 103 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 1: And then she finishes up with Honestly, that's probably the 104 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:23,600 Speaker 1: most important thing I learned in my bar exam prep experience. 105 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:25,600 Speaker 1: If I had known that this was a violent profession, 106 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:28,920 Speaker 1: I never would have gone to law school at all. 107 00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:33,040 Speaker 1: Cheers Ashley Pepotone. Oh it's Ashley Pepatone, Ashley buck or 108 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:37,279 Speaker 1: Ashley Pepatone, I don't know which one. As she is 109 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:38,599 Speaker 1: an actual super lawyer. 110 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:39,799 Speaker 2: Good. 111 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:43,040 Speaker 1: I remember we were making fun of the magazine Super 112 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 1: Lawyers on one episode and she mersaged in was like, 113 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,880 Speaker 1: I'm an actual super lawyer. Multiple super lawyers have actually 114 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 1: uh mailed in and been like, it's actually kind of 115 00:05:52,279 --> 00:05:53,680 Speaker 1: a prestigious magazine. 116 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,080 Speaker 2: It's a big deal. Yeah, well good for you. Sorry, 117 00:05:56,160 --> 00:06:00,240 Speaker 2: we're Bozo's never let clowns ruin your your per. 118 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:03,479 Speaker 1: But also I want to I still want to say something, 119 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:06,160 Speaker 1: honestly to the editors of Super Lawyer. You could call 120 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,640 Speaker 1: it something else. Yeah, super Lawyer, it's a dumb name. 121 00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 1: It's a silly name. It's you want to have fun. 122 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,280 Speaker 1: It's fun. But that doesn't sound serious. 123 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:19,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like somebody had the idea and they 124 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:22,080 Speaker 2: asked their kid, and the kid named it and away 125 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:25,800 Speaker 2: it stayed. So buckets of marble ding dongs in the 126 00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 2: basement of the Vatican, yeah, baby, unbelievable. I mean, that's 127 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:34,240 Speaker 2: got to be really strange to see just anywhere in life, 128 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:36,520 Speaker 2: even in a sculpture museum, you would be like, well, 129 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:37,159 Speaker 2: that's weird. 130 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:41,760 Speaker 1: Also, if there's that she said, there's dozens of buckets, 131 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,159 Speaker 1: dozens of buckets of penises. 132 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:45,160 Speaker 2: That pretty cool job. 133 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:49,960 Speaker 1: Also, what a confusing job that you have to take. So, 134 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:52,240 Speaker 1: like I wonder, if I wonder, I'm trying to figure 135 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:55,440 Speaker 1: out like how the how it works. Is it that 136 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:59,400 Speaker 1: they choose one statue who has had its penis chiseled 137 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:01,960 Speaker 1: off and then take one bucket up to it and 138 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:05,120 Speaker 1: then try and fit penis after penis after penis, And 139 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:07,160 Speaker 1: if that doesn't work, they go get another bucket and 140 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:11,360 Speaker 1: try fit penis after penis after penis onto the statue. Also, sorry, 141 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:12,240 Speaker 1: if there's kids. 142 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 2: In the in the room, we're saying all the correct words, 143 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:17,160 Speaker 2: they're gonna hear it somewhere, guys. It might all be 144 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 2: on a podcast called bananas. It's like that game Concentration, 145 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,400 Speaker 2: wasn't that what it was called. We had to push 146 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 2: the thing down and put all the shapes in with 147 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,400 Speaker 2: the timer, and if you did it and it would 148 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:28,720 Speaker 2: pop up, that game was the most anxiety driven. That 149 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:32,440 Speaker 2: game made Operation look like just a snooze in the park. 150 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:36,600 Speaker 2: Concentration or Classic Concentration, whatever it was called, that game 151 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:39,720 Speaker 2: was so stressful. Yeah. Also, now that I'm saying it, 152 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,560 Speaker 2: that would be a really fun bar game where if 153 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,200 Speaker 2: you can like do it, you get a free shot. 154 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,679 Speaker 2: So if you, if you're a bar owner, bar manager, 155 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,880 Speaker 2: get on eBay, get on Etsy, buy that game, which 156 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:53,240 Speaker 2: I think is called Concentration, and I'll come and play. 157 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:56,840 Speaker 1: There's also there's also another version that uses something similar, 158 00:07:56,840 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 1: but it's like a dome that you press down and buy. 159 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,560 Speaker 1: Pressing down the dome it rattles the dice and it 160 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:06,080 Speaker 1: like pops up, and I remember the ad for it 161 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:10,760 Speaker 1: was just a small boy going, oh, I've got a headache. 162 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 1: I think it's called headache. 163 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:21,080 Speaker 2: Okay, it was called perfection, not concentration. 164 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:25,240 Speaker 1: Perfection is more of an anxiety inducing name. 165 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:30,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, perfection. If you've never played it, google it, instagram it, 166 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:32,680 Speaker 2: have fun with it. But yeah, I would love that 167 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,240 Speaker 2: at a bar. Who doesn't love that? 168 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,800 Speaker 1: Perfect It's a perfect There was this. 169 00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:40,720 Speaker 2: Guy this is a side thing off of a side 170 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:43,160 Speaker 2: side thing off of you, saying that she was offering 171 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:48,400 Speaker 2: rolled up like Turkish rugs or whatever. When I was 172 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 2: a freshman at college, my parents helped me move in 173 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:54,320 Speaker 2: literally day one, and there were there were always vendors 174 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:58,640 Speaker 2: selling dorm room carpets and rugs. Right. It was like, hey, 175 00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:00,679 Speaker 2: these are fifty bucks, these are many bucks, these are 176 00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:02,319 Speaker 2: twenty bucks. And this one guy was selling him for 177 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,360 Speaker 2: ten dollars and we went over and they were like 178 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 2: wrapped in plastic or whatever, and my dad gave him 179 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,760 Speaker 2: ten bucks and we carried up and I had a 180 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,040 Speaker 2: rug and so then. 181 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:12,160 Speaker 1: Because you had you had just like tiles on the 182 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:12,720 Speaker 1: on the ground. 183 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:17,920 Speaker 2: It was just cold til twenty first floor, twenty one eleven. 184 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:19,199 Speaker 1: The first floor. 185 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,880 Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh, there twenty two story dorm rooms in Southwest 186 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,880 Speaker 2: in UMass I think there were five towers. And we 187 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:28,160 Speaker 2: used to yell at each other across the towers, and 188 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,840 Speaker 2: we all befriended each other because we were the funniest 189 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:34,520 Speaker 2: at yelling stuff, and so my sketch team my freshman year, 190 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,120 Speaker 2: we would all yell taunts at each other, but they 191 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 2: were never like, I don't know, your typical taunt, were 192 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:42,920 Speaker 2: just like yelling the F word or something. My buddy 193 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:45,560 Speaker 2: Skip used to he had a really good Boston accent. 194 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,840 Speaker 2: He used to just compare all the different towers to 195 00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:51,400 Speaker 2: hair metal bands. But he would be like, yeah, building 196 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:55,320 Speaker 2: his rat, you're building his poison. And then he would 197 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:58,320 Speaker 2: be like, what guns and roses? You guys a winger 198 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,760 Speaker 2: And it was we were like, we got to figure 199 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,200 Speaker 2: out who this is. So we would be like, go 200 00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:04,240 Speaker 2: down the elevator and we would like meet. We made 201 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:06,720 Speaker 2: friends that way. It was very strange. So I saw 202 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:09,160 Speaker 2: the same guy that sold me my rug at the 203 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:10,920 Speaker 2: end of the year when I was rolling up and 204 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,040 Speaker 2: throwing out my rug into a dumpster, and all he 205 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,480 Speaker 2: would do is wait till the end of the He 206 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,679 Speaker 2: would go to the dumpster, take them all back out. 207 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:19,760 Speaker 2: Oh my god. Then he would just unroll them and 208 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,800 Speaker 2: he would stack him under his house and then sell 209 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:23,800 Speaker 2: him the next year. So he just was like it 210 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:27,560 Speaker 2: was just some weird stay getting its own tail where 211 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,040 Speaker 2: he was just beautiful. So all it cost him was 212 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,080 Speaker 2: his gas in his pickup truck, and then he would 213 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:33,880 Speaker 2: put him in the cross space and then like beat 214 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:36,560 Speaker 2: him out a little bit, wrap them in sheep plastic, 215 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,720 Speaker 2: and then sell them next to the freshman the next year. 216 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:40,280 Speaker 1: Oh that's just so smart. 217 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,880 Speaker 2: Not hygienic, but very good business. 218 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:48,240 Speaker 1: Speaking of a tall dorm room, I remember I we 219 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:51,920 Speaker 1: lived on the seventh floor, and I remember like an 220 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:55,880 Speaker 1: epic uh sorry talk about drugs, guys, an epic acid 221 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:59,520 Speaker 1: trip when I was nineteen years old, very rich, deep 222 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:03,400 Speaker 1: for maybe six hours, could not stop laughing about the 223 00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:08,720 Speaker 1: idea that that I was. I went to the bathroom 224 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:10,760 Speaker 1: and then I just came out like just like I 225 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,960 Speaker 1: have been shitting. 226 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:20,720 Speaker 3: Seventy feet hit the air, and I could not stop imagining, 227 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,520 Speaker 3: like if the building disappeared and I was just up 228 00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:25,400 Speaker 3: there shitting seventy feet. 229 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,560 Speaker 1: So funny to me, so funny. 230 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:33,680 Speaker 2: That's a good argument for trying drugs responsibly. Alright, you 231 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:38,280 Speaker 2: want one? I got one. This is from Nick Cartwright Comedy. 232 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:40,720 Speaker 2: Nick Cartwright, I believe is a stand up comedian and 233 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:44,120 Speaker 2: he has opened for me. He opened for me in 234 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:47,600 Speaker 2: in Raleigh. Oh cool. Well, Nick's been a good banana, 235 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:49,760 Speaker 2: very funny. And at the end he says, I'll see 236 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:52,280 Speaker 2: you guys at the live show in Chicago. So we'll 237 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:53,400 Speaker 2: say hey to Nick in Chicago. 238 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:54,400 Speaker 1: And he lives in Chicago. 239 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,520 Speaker 2: Great city. We love Chicago, Chicago. Come see us. What's 240 00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:58,160 Speaker 2: it called, Kurt? 241 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:04,680 Speaker 1: The Den? The Den December eleventh, twelfth, seventh, eleventh. 242 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:07,880 Speaker 2: Sometime in December, come see us at the Den in Chicago. 243 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,760 Speaker 2: We'll eat. We'll eat Chicago hot dogs with you, and 244 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:13,760 Speaker 2: I do like Itzza, I do like a Chicago hot dog. 245 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 2: Me too. We'll go to the Wieners Circle. Nick Cartwright Comedy. 246 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 2: Thanks Homie, Hey, Scotty, Hey Kurt. I just heard the 247 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:25,960 Speaker 2: episode with a story about someone's craziest pizza delivery and 248 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,440 Speaker 2: thought you guys would like to hear about mine. I 249 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:33,000 Speaker 2: delivered for years and have seen a vast spectrum of crazy. 250 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 2: We could probably do a main episode of Bananas that 251 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:40,600 Speaker 2: was all delivery stories. Let's dedicate this Minnesota to delivery drivers. 252 00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:42,760 Speaker 2: You guys are the best. We use you all the time. 253 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:46,280 Speaker 2: We should tip you more. Everybody tip them more. I 254 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:50,520 Speaker 2: went to college in Fargo, North Dakota, and I needed 255 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,440 Speaker 2: some money, so I decided to start working at a 256 00:12:52,520 --> 00:13:02,959 Speaker 2: restaurant called Spicy Pie. Called spic Spicy Pie just so 257 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:08,280 Speaker 2: sexual sound. I know Spicy Pie as a delivery driver 258 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,080 Speaker 2: slash stone person. 259 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:12,960 Speaker 1: That was me when I was a delivery person. 260 00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:17,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, and we used to dye the pizza dough red 261 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:22,400 Speaker 2: to illustrate the spicy They're doing things different in Fargo. 262 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:25,959 Speaker 2: Nobody's ever said that before. They're doing things different in Fargo, 263 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:30,520 Speaker 2: North Dakota. One chili, but sunny Sunday afternoon. We get 264 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:33,520 Speaker 2: a regular order for two large pies. We whip them 265 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:36,760 Speaker 2: up and I scoot my car, scoot to my car 266 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,000 Speaker 2: and take a hit out of my one hitter, as 267 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:42,280 Speaker 2: you do with every delivery. I pull up to a 268 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:45,800 Speaker 2: baby blue house with beautiful white trim. Look at this. 269 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:49,839 Speaker 2: This is what it's good storytelling, folks. Good story in 270 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:53,599 Speaker 2: the biz, best in the biz. Leave no detail unturned. 271 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:56,960 Speaker 2: It really stands out next to the homes with what 272 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,560 Speaker 2: I can describe with the other homes with what I 273 00:13:59,559 --> 00:14:03,520 Speaker 2: could only described as a quote, Methy, look, I walk 274 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,720 Speaker 2: up to the front door and it has a lion 275 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:10,480 Speaker 2: knocker on the front. You know you're in deep shit, 276 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:15,320 Speaker 2: feeling loose because of the one hitter. I go for 277 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,760 Speaker 2: the knocker instead of the doorbell. Quote. I think I 278 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:22,280 Speaker 2: am very fun end quote. I think to myself. I 279 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:25,520 Speaker 2: use the lion knocker, and an older white man with 280 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:28,800 Speaker 2: no hair and only a white bathroob in almost like 281 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,400 Speaker 2: the one you'd see in a hotel answers the door 282 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:43,960 Speaker 2: and he goes come inside, Pizza many pizza man, Come inside, 283 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:47,560 Speaker 2: Pizza man. He leads me down a hallway with nothing 284 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:52,640 Speaker 2: but frame pictures of owls on the walls, and finally 285 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:55,680 Speaker 2: we walk into the kitchen, where six other people, all 286 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:59,840 Speaker 2: wearing robes are looking very sweaty. I put down the 287 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,560 Speaker 2: pizza and give him the receipt to sign, and everyone 288 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,720 Speaker 2: starts digging in as the guy with the receipt says, 289 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:11,040 Speaker 2: only special guests use that knocker and gives me a wink. 290 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:14,920 Speaker 2: They weren't even using plates. They were just eating pizza 291 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:18,800 Speaker 2: straight from the box to their mouths. Now I'm pretty 292 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:21,000 Speaker 2: high and waking up to the idea that I might 293 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:25,440 Speaker 2: have just delivered pizza to a neighborhood orgy who doesn't 294 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:31,120 Speaker 2: love that Fargo sunny Sunday afternoon orgy. So all I 295 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,880 Speaker 2: could say was have a nice rest of your night 296 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:39,600 Speaker 2: at two pm. Oh and then I ran out the door. 297 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,440 Speaker 2: But he did leave me ten bucks on a forty 298 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:45,840 Speaker 2: dollars bill, so not that nice. I was afraid my 299 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:47,720 Speaker 2: boss would know I was stoned if I told them 300 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:50,440 Speaker 2: the story, so I kept it all to myself. I 301 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,680 Speaker 2: loved the podcast and can't wait to see the live 302 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:58,680 Speaker 2: show in Chicago. Nick Cartwright Comedy following Instagram so much. Nick, 303 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:01,880 Speaker 2: that's a great story, really good story, probably really common. 304 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:03,960 Speaker 2: I bet we have some delivery people listening to this 305 00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:06,760 Speaker 2: now that are like, oh, yeah, I've had that before. 306 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:12,560 Speaker 1: I wonder if the lion knocker is is like a 307 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,000 Speaker 1: swinger thing, because now that we're learning more, you know, 308 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:17,960 Speaker 1: we had that mini so far. Apparently, if you have 309 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:21,520 Speaker 1: flamingos facing each other in your yard, that's like a 310 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:24,520 Speaker 1: sign that they're you're swingers. I wonder if a lion 311 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:27,960 Speaker 1: knockers that in that world of signals or if it 312 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,200 Speaker 1: just means like, I got a fun knocker and you 313 00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:32,520 Speaker 1: chose the fun option instead of ringing the doorbell, you 314 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:33,160 Speaker 1: know what I mean? Yeah? 315 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:35,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, I don't know. I mean I think he 316 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,760 Speaker 2: did a perfectly good job. This is a perfect interaction. 317 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:39,400 Speaker 2: You got a good story out of it, you got 318 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,160 Speaker 2: a huge tip out of it. This is like a 319 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:41,800 Speaker 2: perfect night. 320 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:47,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, I am. I remember I was doing deliveries. I 321 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:52,400 Speaker 1: delivered for Dominoes and it was was in Neptune, New Jersey, 322 00:16:53,120 --> 00:17:00,040 Speaker 1: and and a guy tried to mug me with a 323 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:01,840 Speaker 1: bat from my car. 324 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:07,360 Speaker 2: He took your own bat? Whoa he had a hat? 325 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,280 Speaker 1: Oh, he had a bat. I was in the car 326 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:12,520 Speaker 1: and I was like, do you realize like that this 327 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:15,800 Speaker 1: doesn't gonna work for you? Yeah, I'm gonna drive away 328 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:18,440 Speaker 1: or over like started coming at me with a bat. 329 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:21,600 Speaker 1: I drove just drove away. Yeah, this isn't the way 330 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:22,480 Speaker 1: this is gonna work. 331 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,479 Speaker 2: Yeah, screw to that guy. I was a valet at 332 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:30,239 Speaker 2: the River Cafe in Brooklyn for one summer, but I 333 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:33,159 Speaker 2: was there for about seven months, six months. It was 334 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,480 Speaker 2: one of the most fun jobs I've ever had. There's 335 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:40,160 Speaker 2: a lot of young, aspiring people and we would get 336 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:43,000 Speaker 2: like the older guys, the sort of head valet guys, 337 00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:45,960 Speaker 2: or they just had every scam going imaginable. They would 338 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:49,040 Speaker 2: sell single cigarettes for two bucks. They would if somebody 339 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:50,800 Speaker 2: was like, can you help me get a taxi? We 340 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:52,879 Speaker 2: had our own black car guys that work for us, 341 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:54,600 Speaker 2: so if it was a ride to Manhattan, they would 342 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:57,400 Speaker 2: give us kickbacks of five, seven or ten dollars, depending 343 00:17:57,400 --> 00:18:00,280 Speaker 2: how far up in Manhattan. They were going like, if 344 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:03,720 Speaker 2: you're working all the scams correctly, we never stole anything. 345 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:06,440 Speaker 2: We like, we never took loose change. The one guy 346 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:08,520 Speaker 2: got fired because he put the Yankees game on somebody's 347 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,359 Speaker 2: radio and they complained to the manager. So it was 348 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:14,000 Speaker 2: it was above board as far as people's property was going. 349 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,920 Speaker 1: Oh, that sucks so much, that's all it was. It's 350 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:18,840 Speaker 1: like a guy was listening to the Yankees in the 351 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:21,320 Speaker 1: car yea, and the guy noticed and then complained. The 352 00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:22,040 Speaker 1: guy got fired. 353 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:25,520 Speaker 2: That sucks, yeah, but it taught me a ton. First 354 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,960 Speaker 2: of all. It's like, if you're going to a restaurant 355 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:31,199 Speaker 2: that's one hundred dollars prefiks per person, tip the person 356 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,800 Speaker 2: inside of your car more than one dollar when it's free. 357 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:37,360 Speaker 2: Valet because like that person, the things of LA could 358 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:40,120 Speaker 2: do to you if they wanted to. They can hit 359 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:43,120 Speaker 2: on your GPS home, they can go exactly where you live. 360 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,520 Speaker 2: They could make copies of your keys, they can make 361 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,840 Speaker 2: copies of your house keys. They could pop your trunk 362 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:49,879 Speaker 2: and steal your putter out of your golf bag and 363 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:53,280 Speaker 2: you'd never know it. Like it is crazy how much 364 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:55,840 Speaker 2: you can learn about somebody from their car. And also 365 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:59,600 Speaker 2: just they're like they're little, they're little ticks, Like you know, 366 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:03,080 Speaker 2: do they what cigarettes? Do they smoke? What their folders are? 367 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,600 Speaker 2: Always in that car? You're like, oh, I could just 368 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,120 Speaker 2: read all their work papers. What I'm saying is treat 369 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:10,320 Speaker 2: your valleys really well, or you're in a mountain of shit. 370 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:13,560 Speaker 2: But there's this one guy who was in the mob. 371 00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:18,080 Speaker 2: He was in the Italian mafia, and he owned a 372 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:22,159 Speaker 2: two bakeries and he owned two funeral parlors. Wow, And 373 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,960 Speaker 2: he drove an old Cadillac kind of a classical eel 374 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,840 Speaker 2: and he was like who are you? When I was 375 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,639 Speaker 2: new first day, he would only come at lunch and 376 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,240 Speaker 2: I'd go, yeah, hey, I'm Scottie and he's like you're new. 377 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,480 Speaker 2: I was like yeah, he goes, I'm ten and a pen, 378 00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:39,320 Speaker 2: And I go what, he goes, I'm ten in a pen. 379 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:42,040 Speaker 2: And he handed me a pen from his funeral parlor 380 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,520 Speaker 2: with a ten dollar bill tipped in the little clip. 381 00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:47,040 Speaker 2: And every single time I parked his car for the 382 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:49,000 Speaker 2: rest of the time, he'd go, hey man, I'm ten 383 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:50,439 Speaker 2: in a pen, and he'd hand me a pen with 384 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,880 Speaker 2: a ten dollar bill folded up in it. I loved him. 385 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,400 Speaker 2: The pens were great, Like the last one just ran 386 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:55,880 Speaker 2: out of ink? 387 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:56,800 Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? 388 00:19:57,119 --> 00:20:01,639 Speaker 2: Just thirteen years later? And and a ten dollars tip 389 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:04,560 Speaker 2: is such a classy tip, especially for lunch. And so 390 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:07,040 Speaker 2: his car wasn't It was an old Caddy because he 391 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,720 Speaker 2: just was like old school guy drive, you know, driving 392 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,120 Speaker 2: some old thing. But hey man, I'm ten and a pen. 393 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:15,240 Speaker 2: And then every like fifth time he would bring this 394 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:20,200 Speaker 2: role a big loaf of bread with had like pepperoni 395 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,520 Speaker 2: and all this stuff baked into it. And so he 396 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,439 Speaker 2: would park the car, he goes, hey, there's something in 397 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,600 Speaker 2: the back seat for you, And then you'd reach in 398 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:28,280 Speaker 2: the back seat and get a free loaf of bread 399 00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:30,000 Speaker 2: that we would all split amongst us. And then a 400 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:32,560 Speaker 2: pen and a ten dollars. It was the best. I 401 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:36,800 Speaker 2: missed ten and a pen. Uh and who knows lifelong criminal? 402 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:40,080 Speaker 1: But hey, so you have no idea who who he was, 403 00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:41,359 Speaker 1: like what his real name was? 404 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,800 Speaker 2: No, I never knew his real name, and I don't 405 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:45,919 Speaker 2: remember the name of the bakery or the funeral homes. 406 00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:49,280 Speaker 2: But I'm guessing they were fronts. He was an older guy. 407 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,960 Speaker 2: He was probably in his early seventies, so I would 408 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,639 Speaker 2: hope he's still alive, but I don't know. But I 409 00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:56,240 Speaker 2: always thought that was the coolest little gimmick, Like it's 410 00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,680 Speaker 2: so old school to call yourself a nickname a I'm 411 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:02,080 Speaker 2: ten and a pen. I love that so much. I 412 00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:04,720 Speaker 2: got we gotta think of those for ourselves in life. 413 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:07,400 Speaker 2: You need a thing for that, especially in La where 414 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:08,600 Speaker 2: everywhere takes valet. 415 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:13,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, well who what actor always gave everybody a letter opener? 416 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:14,520 Speaker 2: Oh? I don't know. 417 00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,000 Speaker 1: Oh I think it was a letter opener. Wow. 418 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,760 Speaker 2: On the main episode, we'll talk about celebrity tippers at 419 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:24,200 Speaker 2: the River Cafe sometime, because I had about one hundred 420 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:27,320 Speaker 2: celebrities and I remember every single one and how much 421 00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:28,480 Speaker 2: they gave me and how they gave it. 422 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:32,000 Speaker 1: Ah. I love this. Yeah, all right, Well, we did 423 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,680 Speaker 1: it again. That's a minisode, folks. 424 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:36,720 Speaker 2: Thanks so much for listening. We love you all. Thanks 425 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:40,040 Speaker 2: for listening. Exactly right. Check out all the other podcasts 426 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:43,199 Speaker 2: on this network. There are some real winners and we 427 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:47,040 Speaker 2: love them all. That is my favorite comedian, Kurt Brown Oler, and. 428 00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:48,679 Speaker 1: That's my favorite writer, Scotty Landis. 429 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:50,480 Speaker 2: But nannies. 430 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:01,680 Speaker 4: This has been an exactly right production, produced and engineered 431 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,720 Speaker 4: by Katie Levine, theme music by Kahon, and all of 432 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:07,520 Speaker 4: our artwork is done by Travis Millard. You can follow 433 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,240 Speaker 4: us on Instagram at the Bananas Podcast, where we post 434 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,560 Speaker 4: stories every day and things that we don't cover on 435 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:13,320 Speaker 4: the podcast. 436 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,880 Speaker 1: Listen, subscribe, and please leave us a review on Apple podcast, 437 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:18,919 Speaker 1: Stitcher or wherever you get your podcast. 438 00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:22,280 Speaker 4: And if you're interested in advertising on Bananas, please email 439 00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:25,240 Speaker 4: us at the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. That's 440 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:43,040 Speaker 4: the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com.