1 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:15,320 Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:20,320 Speaker 1: Today's tip is about a wiser way to make decisions. 4 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:27,000 Speaker 1: Consider how strong everyone's preferences are. That can guide you 5 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:33,640 Speaker 1: toward choices that don't leave people feeling resentful. Perhaps you 6 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:38,080 Speaker 1: have heard the classic relationship advice to understand just how 7 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:42,159 Speaker 1: important certain things are to your other half. If you 8 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:45,560 Speaker 1: would rather stay home for Christmas and your partner would 9 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,839 Speaker 1: rather spend the holidays at his parents house, that may 10 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:52,960 Speaker 1: seem like an impasse. But if we ask the strength 11 00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 1: of everyone's preferences, this can change things. On a scale 12 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:03,600 Speaker 1: of one to ten, how much do you care? If 13 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:06,800 Speaker 1: you realize the importance of you staying home is a four, 14 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:10,800 Speaker 1: but your partner views seeing his parents as an eight, 15 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:14,160 Speaker 1: then you can see why it might be wise to 16 00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:18,560 Speaker 1: make the trip, albeit maybe a shorter one so you 17 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:22,759 Speaker 1: can have some time at home as well. Or maybe 18 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:26,640 Speaker 1: you are deciding between two paint colors. He prefers one 19 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:30,480 Speaker 1: and you prefer the other. But when you rate your 20 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:33,959 Speaker 1: preferences on a scale of one to ten, both of 21 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 1: you pick three. The truth is neither of you care 22 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 1: all that much, So just pick something and stop worrying 23 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 1: about it. You aren't going to be put out by 24 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 1: a different choice, and you won't worry that your partner 25 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:52,120 Speaker 1: will be resentful if you go with your choice. It's 26 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 1: all good. Generally speaking, when the importance of a decision 27 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 1: is pretty low to both of you, then you don't 28 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:04,360 Speaker 1: want to sink too much time into reaching a decision. 29 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,840 Speaker 1: If the importance is low to one person and high 30 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:12,280 Speaker 1: to the other, you will usually both be happier if 31 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 1: you go with the preference of the person that the 32 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:19,640 Speaker 1: decision is more important to. Now. Of course, this doesn't 33 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:24,519 Speaker 1: always work. There are some people who will claim everything 34 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:29,520 Speaker 1: is a ten, but honestly, if you are married to 35 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:33,520 Speaker 1: someone with a bulldozer of a personality, you already know 36 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:37,320 Speaker 1: that you already know that this tip isn't for you. 37 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,400 Speaker 1: But for most people this probably won't be an issue. 38 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:46,120 Speaker 1: Both of you are generally reasonable people, and while you 39 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:49,320 Speaker 1: like your preferences, you don't want to paint the walls 40 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:52,640 Speaker 1: white if you don't care that much about interior design 41 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,640 Speaker 1: and your partner has been dreaming of a nice, sunny 42 00:02:56,720 --> 00:03:01,880 Speaker 1: yellow bedroom since childhood. By adding the question on a 43 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:05,400 Speaker 1: scale of one to ten, how important is that to 44 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:09,359 Speaker 1: you to all your decisions. You will make it possible 45 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:12,279 Speaker 1: to make quick decisions when you don't have strong preferences, 46 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:15,640 Speaker 1: and you will invest your time into making the decisions 47 00:03:15,639 --> 00:03:19,520 Speaker 1: that matter most to both of you. I will add 48 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 1: that this question can be helpful for making joint decisions 49 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:26,840 Speaker 1: with roommates and friends too. If you are choosing between 50 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:30,480 Speaker 1: sushi and Italian for dinner, and one person has been 51 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:34,839 Speaker 1: fantasizing all day about her spicy tuna rolls, that's good 52 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 1: to know. You can ask yourself this question as well 53 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 1: for individual choices. For instance, maybe you are looking for 54 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 1: a laptop bag. You want one that fits your laptop easily, 55 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:51,720 Speaker 1: has a zipper top, and a light lining. If you 56 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:54,400 Speaker 1: can't find one that you like that has all three 57 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:58,440 Speaker 1: of those features, you can ask yourself how important each 58 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 1: feature is on a scale of one to ten. Maybe 59 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,240 Speaker 1: you will decide that fitting your laptop and zipping are 60 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 1: both nines, but the light color lining is just to four. 61 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:11,960 Speaker 1: So you go with a bag with a black lining 62 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:15,200 Speaker 1: and learn to live with it precisely because you can 63 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 1: live with it in a way that would be harder 64 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:21,200 Speaker 1: to do if your laptop was always sticking out of 65 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:26,120 Speaker 1: the top of your two small bag. Decision made no 66 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:30,440 Speaker 1: need to spend more time exploring the universe of options. 67 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:36,520 Speaker 1: Not every hills a hill to die on. By using 68 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:39,240 Speaker 1: a scale of one to ten, we are able to 69 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,360 Speaker 1: focus on what is important to us and let go 70 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:47,920 Speaker 1: of what is not. In the meantime, This is Laura. 71 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:53,320 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of 72 00:04:53,320 --> 00:05:02,240 Speaker 1: our time. Hey everybody, I'd love to hear from you. 73 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 1: You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else. 74 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:09,480 Speaker 1: Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at 75 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:14,360 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast Pod that's b E the number four, then 76 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:17,840 Speaker 1: Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot me an 77 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:21,600 Speaker 1: email at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart media dot 78 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:24,600 Speaker 1: com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters. 79 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,280 Speaker 1: Thanks so much, I look forward to staying in touch. 80 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:36,200 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of I Heart Radio. For 81 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:39,360 Speaker 1: more podcasts from my Heart Radio, visit the I Heart 82 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:42,800 Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your 83 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 1: favorite shows.