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Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, it's to be Chelsea. Hi, Chelsea's me Catherine.

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Speaker 1: Oh Hi, It's so nice to be in the l

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Speaker 1: A studio again. Look at us here. I know, I know,

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Speaker 1: and yet we're still zooming from other rooms today. I know,

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Speaker 1: but doesn't it feel nice to have the nice fall weather.

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Speaker 1: I came back and I'm like, finally it's season. It's season,

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Speaker 1: a new season. I know. I put my heat on

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Speaker 1: in my house. Yes, I just had my heater replaced

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Speaker 1: in my bathroom in my apartment, and I like literally

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Speaker 1: thinked it out loud today. I was like, thank you

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Speaker 1: for existing. It's just so warm and cozy. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: nice and cozy. That's right. I got a coat. I

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Speaker 1: got a new coat. In New York. Joe bought me

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Speaker 1: a new coat and winter coat because we were there

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Speaker 1: and we were not prepared. Joe goes shopping in every

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Speaker 1: city we go to. He just he starts It's like

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Speaker 1: basically he starts out with nothing and then just acquires

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Speaker 1: clothing while we're there. So every day is a shopping bananza.

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Speaker 1: I love that he loves the shopping, you don't I know.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, we can't go to product I go I

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Speaker 1: cannot go to product again. I just can't deal with it.

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Speaker 1: He's like, come on, I mean every couple has that issue,

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Speaker 1: right right exactly. It's like totally the reverse. I love it.

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Speaker 1: It's like I'm the male and he's the female. But

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Speaker 1: he's fine with that and I actually it works and

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Speaker 1: you wind up with having the things you need and

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Speaker 1: maybe some product. Yeah, it's some extra things that I need. Yeah, well,

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Speaker 1: other people starving in the world. We have as much

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Speaker 1: ship as we need. Well, Chelsea, I have an update

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Speaker 1: from one of our previous colors. This is from E.

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Speaker 1: She is the gal that we talked to whose boyfriend

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Speaker 1: was occasionally drinking and he would say nasty things to her.

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Speaker 1: Remember this is why I don't want to be with you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so she says, Oh my gosh, I just heard my

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Speaker 1: email response in the episode. Thanks so much for the

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Speaker 1: helpful advice. I wanted to update all of you and

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Speaker 1: tell you that I gave him one more chance and

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Speaker 1: he sucked up. So I broke up with him. And

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Speaker 1: guess what. Yeah, since then, my career has skyrocketed, and

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Speaker 1: so many other things in my life are coming together now.

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Speaker 1: It's crazy what happens when you respect yourself enough to

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Speaker 1: know when someone isn't giving you what you deserve. Chelsea,

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Speaker 1: I bought tickets to your Vancouver tour and I'm so

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Speaker 1: excited to see you live. I love you and thank

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Speaker 1: you again. E. Oh my god, how fucking awesome is that?

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Speaker 1: It's just delightful. I love taking their power, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean? Like I love saying you don't fucking settle.

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Speaker 1: Do not settle for ship. We don't have to settle.

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Speaker 1: When you settle, then you're not creating a higher standard

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Speaker 1: for yourself. And we always want the best of what

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Speaker 1: we deserve, and we deserve the best. Every single one

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Speaker 1: of us deserves the best. So good for you, E.

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Speaker 1: I love it. And it sounds like she just like

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Speaker 1: unblocked some energy, like something that was not so great

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Speaker 1: in her life, and all of a sudden, this flood

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Speaker 1: of wonderful things came to her. Yeah, right, exactly. And

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Speaker 1: we should never be caretakers in our lives, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean. Not for romantic partners, unless you know,

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Speaker 1: something terrible happens, and that's a different set of circumstances.

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Speaker 1: But when somebody has a drinking problem that they can't control,

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Speaker 1: that is not your problem right exactly. And you know,

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Speaker 1: I mean we talked a little bit about this on

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Speaker 1: the episode, but it is a little bit of that

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Speaker 1: in vino veritas, Like if somebody is saying something to

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Speaker 1: you when they're in an altered state that like it

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Speaker 1: might be what they really feel, that they really they're

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Speaker 1: really not into it. And guess what, you don't have

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Speaker 1: to be into them either. What is it? What is

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Speaker 1: the phrase you used in vito vitiation veritas, in vino veritas,

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Speaker 1: which is in wine? There is truth or something to that?

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Speaker 1: How you say what you really mean when you're you know,

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Speaker 1: half in the bag. Okay, I got it, and so

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Speaker 1: she is doing great. Um, I was excited to tell

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Speaker 1: you about that. Well. I love updates. Please if you've

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Speaker 1: called in before, please I we love to hear updates,

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Speaker 1: especially positive ones, and even if they're not great, then

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Speaker 1: I would like to hear that feedback too. Also, when

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Speaker 1: you want to write into the show, it's Dear Chelsea

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Speaker 1: project at Gmail. So make sure you are writing into

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Speaker 1: the show because we get all kinds submission. So I

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Speaker 1: don't think that your problem isn't worthy of being talked

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Speaker 1: about or it's not appropriate, like we'll find a way

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Speaker 1: to talk about it based on who our guests are,

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Speaker 1: and we kind of curate the shows for you know,

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Speaker 1: the topics for the guests we have on, so you

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Speaker 1: never know when your topic will be relevant exactly. So

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Speaker 1: we have a really exciting guest today. Yeah. He yes,

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Speaker 1: he has a couple of podcasts actually currently going. Everybody

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Speaker 1: knows him from Willing Grace and he is on the

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Speaker 1: smash success podcast called SmartLess with Jason and Will Arnett.

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Speaker 1: Jason's last name is our net Too because he and

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Speaker 1: Will are married, and he also has his own podcast

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Speaker 1: called Hypochondria Actor Hypochondria Actor hypochondract Or. He'll tell us

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Speaker 1: when you get Hypochondriactor Hypochondriactor, which I've been a guest

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Speaker 1: on smart List and I will be a guest on

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Speaker 1: Hypochondriactor as well. So please give your attention to one

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Speaker 1: of my funniest friends, Sean Hayes. So I saw your

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Speaker 1: friend dead missing at my show at the Beacond. She

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Speaker 1: came to my show at the Beacond. I love her. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she was cute. She's cute. Can we touch? Of course.

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Speaker 1: I want you to slide in here, come as close

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Speaker 1: as you want. I just want to be able to

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Speaker 1: feel this little baby right there. Attention today. Why are

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Speaker 1: you so tired? Honey? Mr Muscles feel nice? Thanks? I

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Speaker 1: got up like, yeah, I got up at five today.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, so did I I drank too much

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Speaker 1: this weekend? I think me too. And I got up

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Speaker 1: at five. I got up at five and today, yeah,

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Speaker 1: this morning I got up at five and I said

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Speaker 1: to Joe Koy. He goes, are you getting up? And

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Speaker 1: I go, yeah, I think I'm going to get up,

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Speaker 1: and he goes, I'll get up with you. And I go,

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Speaker 1: all right, I'm going to get on the peloton. He's like,

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Speaker 1: I'll get on the treadmill. Then we did that. I go,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to my trainers at seven five and he goes,

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Speaker 1: I'll do that with you too, and I go, this

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Speaker 1: is fucking awesome. I go, you just do whatever I do.

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Speaker 1: I love it for two years and then you're like,

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Speaker 1: we need to get my boyfriend and you just start dating.

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Speaker 1: That's when I'll started dating women, because that's going to

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Speaker 1: happen at some point. You mean it hasn't well, I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know, just for a night or two, nothing serious.

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Speaker 1: Are you enjoying your podcasts that you're doing SmartLess. You

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Speaker 1: sound like you Yeah. Yeah, Oh my god, I laugh

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Speaker 1: so hard. It's so fucking funny this one. Yeah, this

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Speaker 1: is well news flash, you're funny. Hey, how about how

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Speaker 1: about thirty minutes we talk, thirty minutes we nap, and

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Speaker 1: then we wrap it up. Yeah, don't worry, it's going

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Speaker 1: to be like that. We go an hour and that's

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Speaker 1: our limit, so don't worry about going over. You know

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Speaker 1: what's so funny is podcasts that go for two hours,

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Speaker 1: like taxes. Yeah, Dox thought he was going to be

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Speaker 1: here for two hours too. I had to cut him off.

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Speaker 1: I was like, nobody, nobody, nobody's going for that long,

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Speaker 1: by the way, for me to for me to catch

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Speaker 1: for me to catch up with a podcast in my car,

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Speaker 1: I have like a twenty minute I don't have time

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Speaker 1: to listen to a two hour fucking interview. When people

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Speaker 1: like did you listen to so and so on Stern,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, or Mick Jagger was just on Stern. I tried, well,

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Speaker 1: that was because he's also you know, like, well he's

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Speaker 1: experiencing dementia or something, because he couldn't get his thoughts

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Speaker 1: like yeah, I think he's all he's like eighty, but

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Speaker 1: I was like, I cannot listen to this for two hours.

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Speaker 1: It's too fuacking long. Yeah. Well, and you know I

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Speaker 1: don't have Rolling Stones on my playlist. Okay, so any

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Speaker 1: you have add but mostly did you hear the new one?

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Speaker 1: It's fantastic. My friend today goes by the name of

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Speaker 1: Sean Hayes. He he he is an actor extraordinaire. He

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Speaker 1: is a flaming homosexual. Are we allowed to say that anymore?

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Speaker 1: I doubt it? But he's also well, he's so talented,

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Speaker 1: so fucking talented. Remember, well, we've talked about this so

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Speaker 1: many times, so maybe we don't need to revisit it,

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Speaker 1: but remember how talented you were on the set of

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Speaker 1: Will and Grace and how what a basket case I was.

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Speaker 1: The only part I don't like about rehashing this with

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Speaker 1: you is you pretend that I wasn't. No, I'm agreeing

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Speaker 1: with you. You're a basket case. Okay, thank you. But

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Speaker 1: but what I'm saying is it's hard to come in

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Speaker 1: any set that's been like around that long, because you're

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Speaker 1: you're coming into the quote unquote house or the home

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Speaker 1: of these people who have relationships ready, so you're trying

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Speaker 1: to figure out your place in a week. But that's

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Speaker 1: not what That's not what that was about. But I

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Speaker 1: was going through something and that was the difference through.

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Speaker 1: Yeah I'm through okay, Yeah, yeah through it. If that

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Speaker 1: was still going on, I'd probably be fucking dead. How

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Speaker 1: are you? I'm great? Yeah? Many of these do you

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Speaker 1: do a day? This is my second one today, but

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Speaker 1: yeah I usually do too. Maybe three a day? Is

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Speaker 1: that hard for you to keep it up? Two is

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Speaker 1: not hard? Three gets a little bit tricky. And then

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Speaker 1: what do you do? Kind of check out? Well somebody talking? Yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm not like that. Usually I can pretty much focus,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, that couldn't happen on the third hour. I'm

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Speaker 1: much better at focusing now than I used to be.

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Speaker 1: Like when I did my talk show, if somebody was

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Speaker 1: fucking boring, I would literally just be thinking about lunch.

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Speaker 1: Really yeah, like what did you? How did you? Wasn't

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Speaker 1: it scary to kind of like have your mind wander

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Speaker 1: and how would get because I and my mind wandering

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Speaker 1: was better for the show than me listening to their dribble.

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Speaker 1: It's so funny. So many talk shows have I and

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Speaker 1: you think I've only had two. Oh, I feel like

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Speaker 1: you've had more. I've had two, but they've I've done

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Speaker 1: them both for Chelsea Lately, Chelsea and everything else was

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Speaker 1: documentaries and then after Late like other shows, nothing talk show. Well,

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Speaker 1: you're so good at it. Why did you never want

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Speaker 1: to do like a daytime or a nighttime I know

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Speaker 1: Chelsea Lately was a nighttime thing and Chelsea and Chelsea

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Speaker 1: was streaming, but didn't you want to do something mainstreaming?

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Speaker 1: All right? I don't want to be told what to

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Speaker 1: do by a bunch of old white guys, all right.

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Speaker 1: I'd like to tell them like, this is how it's

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Speaker 1: going to be in blah blah blah. And by the way, Sean,

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Speaker 1: this is not an interview show where you interview me.

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Speaker 1: This is an interne show where we talk about your

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Speaker 1: sex life. For the first thirty minutes, that's about You

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Speaker 1: don't need that long. I want to tell well, I

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Speaker 1: know that. Yeah, he's not lying everybody. His lover partner, lifesaver,

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Speaker 1: actually husband, husband extraordinaire. His name is Scottie, and he's

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Speaker 1: exactly how you'd picture him, adorable. And Sean is about

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Speaker 1: as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle when it

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Speaker 1: comes when it comes to domesticity, I mean you are

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Speaker 1: worse than I because I've been there. Well, you didn't

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Speaker 1: learn it from me, because we just met as adult,

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Speaker 1: so I don't know where the funk you learned it.

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Speaker 1: But you come from a big family with a lot

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Speaker 1: of kids where you had to fucking or in your

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Speaker 1: keep in a different way. I don't understand why you

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Speaker 1: can't do anything, but I remember reading I remember you

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Speaker 1: telling me and also reading about you saying I don't

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Speaker 1: know how to turn the TV on. I don't know

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Speaker 1: how any text things work. I got this house thing like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if a door bricks, I don't know how.

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Speaker 1: Then you know knob works. And I'm exactly the same

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Speaker 1: way if I get a Google doc, if I see

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Speaker 1: something in an email and it says google doc, I

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Speaker 1: shut my computer down because I'm so scared that I

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Speaker 1: will get in I will get in there and I

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Speaker 1: will delete another person's work or something untoward will happen,

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Speaker 1: and I just I'm like, fuck. If I get a

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Speaker 1: drop box and just give my phone to my assistant,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, what is this? I know I can't

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Speaker 1: but it's such an indicator of our age now that

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Speaker 1: I want to fight against it. You know, only when

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Speaker 1: you got your internet, like your first like I was

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Speaker 1: living in l A. I think I was at first Internet. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like email address and all that. Well that by the way,

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Speaker 1: I have the same email address I did when I

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Speaker 1: was nineteen years old. No, yeah, I still pay month.

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Speaker 1: You and me are the last two people that say, well, agree,

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Speaker 1: we're so lazy. It's so lazy. First of all, I

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Speaker 1: would love to cut off all the people that have

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Speaker 1: that address, you know what I mean, Like there's so

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Speaker 1: much motivation to change, and it feels like that's the

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Speaker 1: easiest one to hack. What are they going to hack

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Speaker 1: for me? I'm already like like drop boxes and Gmail.

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Speaker 1: Well yes, but there's match nothing interesting attachment. Anytimever seen attachment,

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Speaker 1: I just delete that. You know. It's like a contract

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Speaker 1: is super important country, like I never got it. How's

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Speaker 1: it going? How it's like these questions are amazing. It's

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Speaker 1: going great. Yeah, yeah, Sean is a fucking asshole, by

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Speaker 1: the way, So just prepare yourself for that ship. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. How's it going. It's going great, busier than ever.

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Speaker 1: You know, you figured it, you know, during during the

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Speaker 1: during the my god, I almost said something horrible during

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Speaker 1: We've lost them, It's over, It's over. During the pandemic,

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Speaker 1: for some people, it was like a holidays. That's why

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Speaker 1: I probably thought of that during the pandemic. During the pandemic,

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Speaker 1: you know, like everybody we pivoted because that's a real

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Speaker 1: popular word. You were you triggered by the Holocaust? No,

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Speaker 1: I was. I wasn't triggered by the panic, as you know.

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Speaker 1: I do smart List with Jason Bateman and we'll learn

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Speaker 1: that and we're literally just like, hey, let's do a

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Speaker 1: podcast literally just to hang out because nobody could go anywhere.

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Speaker 1: So we set it up on zoom and we just

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Speaker 1: did it for like we're gonna let's just do like

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Speaker 1: five of these and be done. And here we are,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, really super fun. And then I do Hypochondriactor,

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Speaker 1: which you're gonna come on because I'm an actor who's

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Speaker 1: hypochondract is you know, And um, I can show this

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Speaker 1: on the thing, right, So I got my Now I

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Speaker 1: got a foot boot because he has his toe hurts,

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Speaker 1: so he's wearing a foot boots. Yeah. It's pretty dramatic

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Speaker 1: and it falls right in line with being a hypocontract,

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Speaker 1: hypochontract actor, hypochontrac actor, hypochondria actor, hypochondria actor. Right, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I didn't really, I didn't realize you and Will and

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Speaker 1: Jason were such good friends for a long, long, long,

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Speaker 1: long time. Yet those guys are so funny. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: they make me laugh so hard. Yeah. Yeah, So that's

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Speaker 1: how I've been That's what I've been doing. I'm also

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Speaker 1: doing a play called Goodnight Oscar, where I play Oscar Event,

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Speaker 1: who is George Gershwin's best friend. And the story is

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Speaker 1: very kind of Saliary Mozart, a very contentious, you know,

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Speaker 1: love hate relationship between Oscar and Georgie's music and h

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Speaker 1: but it also takes the whole play takes place backstage

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Speaker 1: of The Tonight Show when Jack Parr hosted, and Oscar

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Speaker 1: Event is very famous for talking about mental health publicly

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Speaker 1: before anybody else did in the fifties, and it was

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Speaker 1: super shocking to hear it back then, and he ended

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Speaker 1: up in mental institutions and he was addicted to prescription drugs.

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Speaker 1: He used to say things like he's super super, super

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Speaker 1: witty and funny. Anyway, so I'm doing that and where

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Speaker 1: where can we see that play that's at the Goodman

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Speaker 1: Theater in Chicago. That's your hometown, hometown. We open there

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Speaker 1: and then I think we're going to Broadway after that.

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Speaker 1: Oh how exciting and smart Liss is on the road

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Speaker 1: because I was just in Boston performing at the Fillmore

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Speaker 1: and I saw that Smartness was at the way. I think, right,

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Speaker 1: you guys, I don't even I mean I have to.

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Speaker 1: I don't memorize the two Are you going or did

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Speaker 1: you go already? No? No, it's it's the first two

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Speaker 1: weeks of February. Oh how exciting is that to do that?

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Speaker 1: And then I do the first two weeks on tour

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Speaker 1: of Smartness in February. Then I go do the play

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Speaker 1: for probably six months, and then I have this other

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Speaker 1: big project that if it goes, I'll go right into that. Okay,

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Speaker 1: And is that a transition that is? Um? Yeah? And

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Speaker 1: so for the smart List podcast, you guys are gonna

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Speaker 1: what are you gonna do? Bring guests on for the show.

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Speaker 1: So we're gonna do it just like the podcast, which

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Speaker 1: I don't know if people know the conceit of our

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Speaker 1: show of our smart List, it's called is one of

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Speaker 1: us brings on the guests that the other two don't

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Speaker 1: know about, and it's a surprise to the other two,

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Speaker 1: so they interview them without being prepared or anything. That

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Speaker 1: just asked questions in real time like we're doing right now,

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Speaker 1: and so we'll do this to our just exactly the same. So,

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Speaker 1: which is gonna be really fun to try to keep

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Speaker 1: it hidden. Yeah, how many backstage like and and you're

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Speaker 1: huge big names. How fun is that? How cool? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I had a great time being on the podcast. Thank

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Speaker 1: you for asking, Thank you for coming on. You're so funny.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, that story about that car ride, that

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Speaker 1: the road trip with the guy in the hotel and cocaine. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that cocaine story was a good wit. I want to

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Speaker 1: ask you something that because you you seem to have

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Speaker 1: like unbelievably boundless energy. You are always and I'm not

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Speaker 1: just saying this, it's really inspiring to me and I'm

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Speaker 1: sure other people that want to do this, But you

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Speaker 1: just seem to be always on the road, always creating something,

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Speaker 1: always writing a book, always just in it and creating

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Speaker 1: and creating and creating. Why where do you get that from?

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Speaker 1: Don't you ever get exhausted and you want to quit?

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Speaker 1: Like what's the deal. I think that's a question for

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Speaker 1: the end of the show, when you're supposed to ask

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Speaker 1: me a question. You just got here so a way

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Speaker 1: to try and get the funk out of here as

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Speaker 1: soon as you sat down. This is just like hanging

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Speaker 1: out with you in real life. And to tell the

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Speaker 1: story about bringing you to Chicago with me, that was

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Speaker 1: so fun. That was so fun, But you were such

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Speaker 1: a pain in the ass about it. Because remember I

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Speaker 1: was doing my book tour for Life Will be the

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Speaker 1: Death of Me and you and Scottie were coming. You

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Speaker 1: were nice enough to say, yes, you were going to

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Speaker 1: interview me somewhere in Chicago. I said, do I have

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Speaker 1: to read the book? You're like, I'm not talking. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I said, yeah, you got to read the fucking book,

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Speaker 1: you asshole, Like, I mean, how hard is it to

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Speaker 1: read a book? But apparently in this town it is

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Speaker 1: fucking hard the whole thing. Yes, Because then you realize

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Speaker 1: we had so many commonalities and similarities in our upbringing

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Speaker 1: and just like kind of Mayhem, and you come from

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Speaker 1: a large family that's dysfunctional as well. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: don't know many families that aren't were dysfunctional. At this point,

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Speaker 1: and then we had a couple of drinks before we

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Speaker 1: went on stage. Yeah yeah, which was the theme of

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Speaker 1: that tour. Everyone who I brought on that tour needed

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Speaker 1: to drink before they got on stage. So by the

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Speaker 1: time we got on stage with half the people, like

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Speaker 1: Leah REMANI did my l a one and she had

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Speaker 1: Fireball for the very first time in her life. She

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Speaker 1: had four shots of fireballs Fireball exactly. I didn't I

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Speaker 1: didn't know this until then either. And now I know

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Speaker 1: it's the thing or something. It's well, you don't even

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Speaker 1: have to light because it feels like it's it tastes

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Speaker 1: like it's a lit already. Now I know it from

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Speaker 1: skiing because my friend from skiing like fireball. So it's

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Speaker 1: a great like warming drink, like if you need to

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Speaker 1: warm up in your yeah, something like that. And they

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Speaker 1: say it actually has like a little bit of anti

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Speaker 1: freeze in it, like not feel anti freeze, but it's

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Speaker 1: banned in Europe. It's like hot cinnamon is very bad

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Speaker 1: for you. Okay, Well, I don't mind drinking a little

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Speaker 1: bit of anti freeze. I mean there are worse things

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Speaker 1: that I put in this body. Yeah, did you get

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Speaker 1: COVID by the way, oh quit high five? Did you know?

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Speaker 1: I did it right? But wait, we were talking about

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Speaker 1: the tour drinking and we came out. Oh yeah, Sorry,

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Speaker 1: I've got a bit discursive today because I'm so excited

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Speaker 1: to see you, seeing you, and so long I know,

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Speaker 1: to be here and on you and you and inside

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Speaker 1: of me. Yes, it's such a dream come true. I

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Speaker 1: remember the remember the time we ever, ever, ever met.

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Speaker 1: It was out of charity backstage, and you remember there

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Speaker 1: were a lot of balls. It was. I think it

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Speaker 1: was an Alzheimer's benefit. Okay, and you go and this

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Speaker 1: one goes never met, and she's sitting in the like

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Speaker 1: you're sitting backstage up against the wall with your legs crossed,

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Speaker 1: kind of slouched over with a drink in your hand,

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Speaker 1: kind of like just like a real judge. Look. And

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Speaker 1: I walked past you go, hey, Jack's will here, And

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Speaker 1: I was like, I don't that doesn't sound like me

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Speaker 1: at all. I think when I met you told me

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Speaker 1: that you weren't out of the closet. I did. I

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Speaker 1: think you did. I think you were joking and I

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Speaker 1: and that made me laugh, Like I said something about

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Speaker 1: you being gay, and you said, I'm not out of

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Speaker 1: the closet and I started laughing hysterically. I was like,

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Speaker 1: whether you are or not? You are? No, I was, well,

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Speaker 1: ever since yeah, ever since you started well expressing yourself,

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Speaker 1: really chatting, how was I would imagine that you enjoyed

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Speaker 1: COVID with Scottie because you're antisocial. No, I'm not. I

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Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, you are. No, not really, I mean

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Speaker 1: are you? Are you sometimes? Yeah? No? No, I am

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Speaker 1: antisocial because of COVID question. Let me tell you something.

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Speaker 1: I learned a lot from Maria Striver, who's you know,

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Speaker 1: you have to go over there by the way Sunday

401
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Speaker 1: night dinner. No, we have to go hang out together.

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Speaker 1: Make sure it happens. I swear, Okay, let's do it together.

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Speaker 1: Because she keeps asking me to come over with Joe

404
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Speaker 1: Koy and I'm like, oh, I'm never Yeah, let's do it.

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Speaker 1: Let's put it in the calendar. But no, but for real,

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Speaker 1: She's like, you know how when a massive advocate she

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Speaker 1: is for the Alzheimer's movement and educating people, especially women,

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Speaker 1: about the risks and how women they don't know why

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Speaker 1: women are more susceptible to get Alzheimer's than men, Like

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Speaker 1: I think it's three to one or something like that.

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Speaker 1: I don't quote me on that, but one of the

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Speaker 1: things that she always talks about that's really stuck in

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Speaker 1: my head because my mom passed away of Alzheimer's is

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Speaker 1: and I'm kind of a woman, is to force yourself

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Speaker 1: to be to be and remain social. Right, So when

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Speaker 1: you say I'm kind of anti social, don't go out.

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Speaker 1: I sure, of course I'd rather sit at home on

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Speaker 1: pajamas and watch a movie. But I also find the

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Speaker 1: challenge of meeting new people really fun and getting to

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Speaker 1: know them. And I think that's why I enjoyed podcasting

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Speaker 1: and interviewing and stuff like that, because I like people.

422
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,120
Speaker 1: I really do like people. I like learning about them,

423
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:21,959
Speaker 1: and I remain curious, which I think is really really important.

424
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,200
Speaker 1: But anyway, it's one of the biggest things to combat

425
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:27,720
Speaker 1: Alzheimer's is to force yourself to remain social, especially the

426
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,639
Speaker 1: older you get. That's good. That's good to know, Yeah,

427
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:32,919
Speaker 1: for sure, because nobody wants to so you have to.

428
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:35,120
Speaker 1: It's like going to the gym for your brain. Yeah,

429
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:37,560
Speaker 1: the mental gym. We like that. That's that's good. At Nay,

430
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:39,560
Speaker 1: I'll remember that the next time I'm about to cancel

431
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:42,159
Speaker 1: a dinner. Yeah real, well right now. The thing is,

432
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:45,399
Speaker 1: I'm on tour, so I'm so fucking depleted and exhausted.

433
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:47,840
Speaker 1: So when I come home doing this, like last night,

434
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:49,920
Speaker 1: I had dinner with my three girlfriends set and then

435
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:52,399
Speaker 1: I was out with Joe and we were having a

436
00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:54,520
Speaker 1: snack and I was like, I just don't think I

437
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:56,680
Speaker 1: can make this dinner. I just don't think I can go.

438
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:59,000
Speaker 1: And because it's going to be all about me because

439
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:00,639
Speaker 1: I had no one seen me in long time. And

440
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:03,200
Speaker 1: then that pressure. I don't like that pressure where it's like,

441
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 1: oh my god, how tell me? How about it? Tell

442
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,040
Speaker 1: me how? Well? Yeah, and then they want to see

443
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,400
Speaker 1: Joe and me together because my friends are really excited

444
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:11,200
Speaker 1: I want to meet Yeah, yeah, I know. I want

445
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 1: you to meet Joe too. We'll do that at Maria.

446
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,960
Speaker 1: A little photoshop but that's just yeah, I don't know.

447
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,760
Speaker 1: I know, well, when you see him in person, hell,

448
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:20,680
Speaker 1: look the same. He still looks photoshops. So we've got

449
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:23,040
Speaker 1: that to go on. And I was very honest with

450
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:24,480
Speaker 1: my friends. I said, you guys, you know what, I'm

451
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:26,800
Speaker 1: just I don't have the bandwidth. I'm really stretched too

452
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:29,640
Speaker 1: thin I'm really sorry because I you know, I want

453
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:32,680
Speaker 1: to show up and see my friends obviously, But when

454
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,960
Speaker 1: I have such I have two days home of a turnaround,

455
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:37,440
Speaker 1: and I squeeze everything into those two days, and I'm

456
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,439
Speaker 1: just like yeah, and then I'm like, I have to

457
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:41,720
Speaker 1: be refreshed when I perform, I had to be well rested.

458
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:44,159
Speaker 1: All that kind of like when when God forbid you

459
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:46,919
Speaker 1: know something awful, like somebody is sick in your family,

460
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,159
Speaker 1: or you have a sick friend, or you have or

461
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:53,720
Speaker 1: God forbid somebody passes away that you love. It's you're

462
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:56,119
Speaker 1: now at the age where I don't really tell people

463
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:59,360
Speaker 1: because then as much as they care, and we're blessed

464
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 1: that they care, it becomes a second and a third

465
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:05,440
Speaker 1: job to answer those texts and those emails and take

466
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:08,920
Speaker 1: care of them for trying to take care of you, right, So,

467
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 1: and it sounds kind of ungrateful or but it's not.

468
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:15,560
Speaker 1: It's just you're exhausted and you're depleted right from dealing

469
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:18,400
Speaker 1: with whatever situation, like like all the updates I had

470
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,440
Speaker 1: to give my mom's friends, my friends, my family everything.

471
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:24,400
Speaker 1: When I took care of my mom, I was like, well, plus,

472
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:26,160
Speaker 1: I gotta take care of my mom. So now I'm

473
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:29,520
Speaker 1: doing and then I gotta work. So it's just endless.

474
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 1: So now if something like my my one of my

475
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:36,160
Speaker 1: brothers passed away from COVID and December lest Yeah, and

476
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,800
Speaker 1: I didn't really tell a lot of people, of course telling,

477
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:41,440
Speaker 1: but everybody knows by now. Of course it was almost

478
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:43,280
Speaker 1: a year ago and it was really sad. But yeah,

479
00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:46,399
Speaker 1: that's the thing anyway, that's relating, relating that kind of

480
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:50,360
Speaker 1: stuff to overworking yourself. I hear you, I hear. I'm

481
00:23:50,359 --> 00:23:53,040
Speaker 1: sorry to hear about your brother. That's terrible. How did

482
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,240
Speaker 1: you guys find COVID together? I mean, you guys spend

483
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:58,959
Speaker 1: it an We looked, we shopped, shopped all day night online,

484
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:01,800
Speaker 1: we found finally found it. What did you find covid?

485
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 1: He said, how did you find covid? Oh? So stupid?

486
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:10,679
Speaker 1: What a stupid, stupid response. I don't know if you

487
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 1: know what this podcast is, but people basically call in

488
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:16,960
Speaker 1: for advice and they want real advice. Okay, so how

489
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 1: did I find? Like? What did I? No, no, no, no,

490
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,840
Speaker 1: you don't have to answer that question. You already blew it.

491
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:22,680
Speaker 1: You already blew it. And by the way, I think

492
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,160
Speaker 1: your brother passing away takes the cake on that subject matter.

493
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:28,040
Speaker 1: So let's not even a crazy story about that. So

494
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:32,119
Speaker 1: my sister, So my brother passes away, the memorials like

495
00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:34,440
Speaker 1: three months after that, and my sister did this great

496
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:36,359
Speaker 1: thing where I grew up in this house in the

497
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 1: suburbs of Chicago and the address was eight four six,

498
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:42,760
Speaker 1: and so she made hats and t shirts to give

499
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:44,760
Speaker 1: out to family and friends that set our address on it,

500
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,040
Speaker 1: which I thought was really touching. And so I have

501
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 1: the hat on right now, and I was going around

502
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:53,040
Speaker 1: like I'd go to the gas station and the grocery store,

503
00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:55,439
Speaker 1: whatever errands I was doing, I would always have this

504
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 1: hat on in memoriam of my brother, and people would

505
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,000
Speaker 1: kind of like give me a heads up and a

506
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,479
Speaker 1: nod and like way to go. And I was like,

507
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:06,760
Speaker 1: I don't understand what's happening. And it happened all the time.

508
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 1: It was at the gym, and people like way to go,

509
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,240
Speaker 1: and I was like, what is that. So I was

510
00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:14,760
Speaker 1: watching a news conference about one of the many, many,

511
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 1: many African American kids shot by a police officer wrongly,

512
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 1: all those kinds of things, and I'm watching this one

513
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 1: of those stories, and on the press conference. All these

514
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:30,200
Speaker 1: guys had a hat on. That's at and I was like, what,

515
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,439
Speaker 1: And it's the amount of time that George Floyd was

516
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:36,359
Speaker 1: being held down, which is tragic. And then I was like,

517
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:38,040
Speaker 1: oh and put I put two and two together. So

518
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:40,159
Speaker 1: they were all kind of thinking it was one thing

519
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 1: and it was another. But I was like, hey, it's

520
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:45,359
Speaker 1: got two great causes in one. Yeah. Yeah, and then

521
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,320
Speaker 1: you didn't have to lift a finger or go to anymore.

522
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:51,119
Speaker 1: Just there you go. There you go, problem solved problems.

523
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:53,639
Speaker 1: I can get that whole story if you want. No,

524
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:57,000
Speaker 1: I like that story. It's cute, it's sweet. Okay. Yeah.

525
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,920
Speaker 1: So we basically give advice. People call in and surprisingly

526
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,679
Speaker 1: either pretty sincere and earnest. There's not a lot of

527
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:05,680
Speaker 1: fucking assholes. So you have to dig deep into your

528
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:09,680
Speaker 1: reservoir of knowledge. I know you've been to therapy and

529
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:12,840
Speaker 1: you know, well you should be and after that and

530
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 1: we have, especially after this abusive hour, and so you

531
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 1: have to do you know, we want to give them

532
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:20,280
Speaker 1: sincere life advice and how to how to get to

533
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:22,840
Speaker 1: the next positive place. So I just want you to

534
00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 1: be prepared. You need to be as involved as possible

535
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:30,520
Speaker 1: and Hopefully thematically we will be able to have matched

536
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:38,919
Speaker 1: some of your interests or lifestyle choices to our callers. Yeah,

537
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 1: because it's a choice. Yeah. And Catherine, our lovely producer,

538
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,879
Speaker 1: will introduce us to each and every right, and some

539
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:47,159
Speaker 1: people will be live and we'll see that, and some

540
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:50,240
Speaker 1: people just write it fun you get to see their

541
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:53,639
Speaker 1: lovely faces. But before we go to some callers, should

542
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 1: we take a quick break? Sure, let's take a quick

543
00:26:56,520 --> 00:27:03,000
Speaker 1: Excuse me, Sean, We're going to take a quick break now, excellent,

544
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:06,240
Speaker 1: we look like such a happy couple. Ad breaks should

545
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 1: always be for selfies. I think it, I got it.

546
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 1: It's erect. Now baby shark is up. So our first

547
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:15,080
Speaker 1: email comes from Michelle and this is a little bit

548
00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:19,480
Speaker 1: of relationship and marriage advice. Dear Chelsea, I'm hoping you

549
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 1: can give some advice for my husband and I. We

550
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:25,240
Speaker 1: seem to have the same repeating argument. For context, We've

551
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:27,919
Speaker 1: been married for three years, have two young daughters, and

552
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:30,679
Speaker 1: we still really like each other. The problem is I

553
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 1: will regularly load both girls into my car to take

554
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:36,479
Speaker 1: them to school or wherever, and my gaslight is on.

555
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:40,520
Speaker 1: I instantly become furious and rage call him because I've

556
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:43,080
Speaker 1: run out of gas before in his car, luckily not

557
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:45,960
Speaker 1: with the girls, but I still held up traffic and

558
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:47,680
Speaker 1: had to sit on the side of the road looking

559
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 1: like a dumb blonde. I know he innocently forgets, but

560
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 1: it still makes me feel like he doesn't care about

561
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:56,960
Speaker 1: me or my time. He cannot understand why I'm upset,

562
00:27:57,119 --> 00:27:58,560
Speaker 1: and we'll just tell me it's not that big of

563
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:01,160
Speaker 1: a deal and I can just go get gas, which, yes,

564
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:04,640
Speaker 1: obviously that's all true, but it's frustrating that it keeps happening.

565
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 1: I've also tried to explain to him how it's ungentlemanly

566
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:10,040
Speaker 1: and dangerous for me to have no gas with the

567
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:12,840
Speaker 1: baby in the car. I hate arguing over stupid things,

568
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 1: but I also hate that he doesn't take the effort

569
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:17,679
Speaker 1: to remedy the one recurring issue we have. What do

570
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:21,000
Speaker 1: we do? Michelle and George and Denver? Okay, Michelle and

571
00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 1: George and Denver. Do you want to go first? Do

572
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:24,600
Speaker 1: you want me to go first? Go ahead and take

573
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 1: the lead. So I think that marriage and relationships about compromise.

574
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 1: Scotty and I always say that you need to fall

575
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:33,639
Speaker 1: in respect with somebody, not in love, because if you

576
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:36,000
Speaker 1: fall in respect with somebody, the leve will happen after

577
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,480
Speaker 1: because everyone like I want to be in love. No

578
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:39,120
Speaker 1: you don't. You want to be in respect. If you

579
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 1: really want a relationship, you want to be in respect

580
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:42,640
Speaker 1: with the person. So that's the first thing. If you

581
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 1: respect each other and you like each other, sit down

582
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:47,000
Speaker 1: and make a compromise. It's not that hard. Hey, If

583
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,240
Speaker 1: the thing is below this level of the gas, you

584
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 1: know whatever, go fill it up, your fucking idiot. And

585
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 1: then so I'll be and you know what, I'll do

586
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 1: the same for you when I don't have the kids

587
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 1: in the car. Exactly. This isn't a difficult I mean

588
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:02,800
Speaker 1: the prob the fact that being difficult, this is as

589
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 1: hard as it. Guess if the fact that your husband

590
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:08,480
Speaker 1: is being resistant to like understanding why it's a ungentlemanly

591
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 1: that is ungentlemanly, but be unsafe for your children. You

592
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 1: don't want to be in a position where you're ever

593
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 1: going to run out of gas. I think a practical

594
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 1: way of addressing the matter, as annoying as it may be,

595
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 1: is offering to do the same for him. Yes, And

596
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 1: and you got to come up with rules. You have

597
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 1: got to come up with rules. So the rule is

598
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:28,920
Speaker 1: the second it goes below half, who's ever driving when

599
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:31,560
Speaker 1: it goes below half? Fill it up? And you can't

600
00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:33,560
Speaker 1: be a dick about it and be like, whoa, it

601
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:37,000
Speaker 1: wasn't the h above the half when I yeah, And

602
00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:39,239
Speaker 1: it is about respect, and so you should drive that

603
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:41,720
Speaker 1: point home, you know a little bit, and say that

604
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:43,760
Speaker 1: it doesn't feel good that you're telling him that you

605
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:47,280
Speaker 1: need something that you feel unsafe and that he doesn't

606
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:49,560
Speaker 1: have the time to deal with that or he can't

607
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 1: see it. It's like just you saying that doesn't make

608
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:55,240
Speaker 1: you feel comfortable or safe should be enough. So I

609
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:58,600
Speaker 1: could totally understand your frustration. And if there's something that

610
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:01,640
Speaker 1: you can do for him that's a compromise other than

611
00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:03,560
Speaker 1: the gas, Like I mean, if the gas isn't an

612
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:05,360
Speaker 1: issue for him, then maybe he doesn't care if there's

613
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:07,400
Speaker 1: a full tank or not. But if there's something else

614
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:10,000
Speaker 1: you can do, you know, always offering up your partner,

615
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,640
Speaker 1: it is a good way to compromise, to say, like,

616
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:15,440
Speaker 1: you're not the unreasonable one. I'm also willing to do this,

617
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:18,320
Speaker 1: but fall in respect to each other is a really

618
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:21,120
Speaker 1: beautiful thing that you should take to that conversation as well.

619
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 1: It's so annoying to have disagreements like that with your husband,

620
00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 1: to have your husband be like, no, I don't see

621
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:31,080
Speaker 1: the problem with coming home with an empty gas Why

622
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:33,520
Speaker 1: not that's an issue? I mean, that wouldn't Scotty and

623
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 1: I would nip that in the butt. Yeah, but they

624
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,840
Speaker 1: already have children and they're married. Have fucking annoying to

625
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 1: have to be like, now I have to explain to

626
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 1: you that you I don't I would prefer that you

627
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:47,600
Speaker 1: didn't cheat on me. What right, because it's like that

628
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:50,240
Speaker 1: common sense. Yeah, And I love the idea of setting

629
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:52,920
Speaker 1: up rules. You're setting up systems for yourself. I think

630
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,240
Speaker 1: the one thing that stands out to me too is

631
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:58,920
Speaker 1: he can't understand why she's upset, but she's also rage

632
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 1: calling him. So take a time, sit down when you're

633
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 1: not upset about it, and be like, you know what,

634
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,560
Speaker 1: from a logical perspective, let's just do this. This is

635
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:08,800
Speaker 1: the new system. When it gets to a quarter tank

636
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,000
Speaker 1: or a half tank or whatever your rule is, and

637
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:12,880
Speaker 1: you always have gasol the tank. Yeah, it's not what

638
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:14,480
Speaker 1: you say, it's how you say it. You can't be like,

639
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 1: can you fucking put when I come, nobody's gonna listen

640
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 1: to that. I'm going to use the best example I

641
00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:23,440
Speaker 1: have in my most recent situation with my relationship is

642
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:26,400
Speaker 1: I never have my ringer on on my phone never ever, ever,

643
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:28,920
Speaker 1: because I just would prefer not to get phone calls.

644
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:33,200
Speaker 1: You know, but you never saying oh yeah, right, so

645
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 1: I never get text alerts. I mean, I look at

646
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:37,800
Speaker 1: my phone frequently, so it's not it's not an issue,

647
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 1: but like, I miss calls all the time, and I

648
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:43,640
Speaker 1: like it that way. But my boyfriend really likes to

649
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:46,560
Speaker 1: FaceTime and likes to connect several times a day, which

650
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:48,200
Speaker 1: is not something that I'm used to, but it's something

651
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 1: that I'm totally happy to do for him because I

652
00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:53,160
Speaker 1: love him and he's so sweet and that I'm yeah,

653
00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 1: I'll do it. But when I when I have it

654
00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 1: off and I miss it like a FaceTime, he gets

655
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:00,880
Speaker 1: really annoyed. He's like, did you not what? What did

656
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:02,240
Speaker 1: you not see it? I'm like, well, I don't have

657
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:05,880
Speaker 1: my ringer on, so I didn't see it. You're working? Yeah, well,

658
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 1: I mean, am I ever really working? I mean, I

659
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 1: wouldn't have my ringer on right now because I'm just

660
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:12,480
Speaker 1: waiting for something to interrupt this. I only put it

661
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 1: on when I am marking so I could have interruption.

662
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 1: But you know, now with him, I do put my

663
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:22,440
Speaker 1: ringer on because it's just easier for him. He wants

664
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 1: my ringer on, and it's not like a controlling thing.

665
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 1: He just likes to be able to connect when he

666
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 1: wants to connect and I and I'm like, yeah, no problem,

667
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:33,360
Speaker 1: it's no fucking problem. It's not my inclination. But of course,

668
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 1: if it means something to someone else, just fucking do it. Yeah,

669
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:38,920
Speaker 1: you have to meet them where they are, yeah, or

670
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 1: meet them across the street and then go get a

671
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 1: drink off. Yeah. I used to hate FaceTime. I used

672
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 1: to think it was like an assault, right. Well yeah,

673
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,880
Speaker 1: if you got like a blind FaceTime without any warning,

674
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 1: it would be like, what, like I don't from Well yeah,

675
00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 1: but I'm also like half the time I'm in bed

676
00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 1: not feeling like I want to be seen by strangers,

677
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 1: Like it's always friends, Well it's yeah, I mean, well

678
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:09,880
Speaker 1: our net will always face, will always love that. Yes,

679
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,680
Speaker 1: if I literally just woke up, I'll answer like, hey man,

680
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:17,320
Speaker 1: what's going on? He's like busy day whatever. Okay, we

681
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 1: solve that my mom will spring a FaceTime on me,

682
00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:23,920
Speaker 1: and then she'll turn the phone to whoever she's with

683
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 1: and be like, say, Hi, that's so annoying. Yeah, that's

684
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:30,240
Speaker 1: that's you know what. Yeah, that happens all the time.

685
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 1: Joe will be like, look how beautiful my girlfriend is

686
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 1: to a group of people, and then I have to like,

687
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:39,520
Speaker 1: look at these people, say you are beautiful. Yeah, I'm like,

688
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 1: oh God, that's so painful. So our next color is

689
00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 1: Josh and he is here with us, he says. Dear Chelsea,

690
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,400
Speaker 1: I'm afraid a very close friendship of twenty eight years

691
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:55,239
Speaker 1: may have ended. And forty six and my friend when

692
00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:58,560
Speaker 1: we were seniors in high school. I'm godfather to her

693
00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:02,720
Speaker 1: three boys, ages teen, thirteen, and nine. I'm their uncle,

694
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,959
Speaker 1: gay uncle l O L. Held each of her boys

695
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,319
Speaker 1: in my arms when they were babies and have babysat

696
00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:11,840
Speaker 1: them countless times. I love them dearly. They're the closest

697
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:13,879
Speaker 1: I will ever come to having kids of my own.

698
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:17,960
Speaker 1: About five months ago, my friend cut off communication with me.

699
00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:20,160
Speaker 1: She felt two other friends of mine and I were

700
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:24,000
Speaker 1: judging her parenting. She felt betrayed because you raised reasonable

701
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:28,000
Speaker 1: concerns about very stressful home life dynamics. I understand the

702
00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:31,320
Speaker 1: friendship may never recover, but I'm heartbroken that I'm forbidden

703
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:34,040
Speaker 1: to contact my godsons. I feel like this is what

704
00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:36,799
Speaker 1: divorce feels like, and my partner has run off with

705
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:41,880
Speaker 1: the kids. Thanks. That's josh Hi, Josh Hi, josh h

706
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 1: h Chelsea, Hi, how are you? Are you at a

707
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:47,680
Speaker 1: standing desk? I'm at a standing desk. Yes, I like it,

708
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:51,000
Speaker 1: I would say, I would. Can we drive right in? Yeah,

709
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:54,240
Speaker 1: drive right in. I'll ask questions. I think I totally

710
00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:57,040
Speaker 1: know what you mean. I have got kids too, and

711
00:34:57,160 --> 00:35:00,600
Speaker 1: their parents were very, very were like family, and I'm

712
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:04,600
Speaker 1: always careful to say things like I know I'm not

713
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:07,879
Speaker 1: the parent, but have you thought about or you know,

714
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:11,839
Speaker 1: and give them that respect of knowing you know there's

715
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:14,319
Speaker 1: a line and stop me if I'm going to cross it.

716
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 1: Always giving them the control of that they deserve because

717
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:22,759
Speaker 1: they're the parents, and after that disclaimer, then diving in

718
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,040
Speaker 1: with whatever my thoughts are so that they so it

719
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:28,640
Speaker 1: disarms them. Almost. I think though, that that's already happened, right,

720
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:31,719
Speaker 1: it's already too late. Yeah, we have I feel like

721
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:34,359
Speaker 1: it's myself and two other very close friends. We've been

722
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:37,279
Speaker 1: friends for decades. I think we have really walked the

723
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:41,279
Speaker 1: line really well with her and telling her about our concerns,

724
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:44,720
Speaker 1: and you know, it's more of like when she tells

725
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:47,440
Speaker 1: us that we're you know, you're not parents, you don't understand.

726
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:49,920
Speaker 1: It's like kind of sticking the knife and twisting it

727
00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 1: like it feels more like that. But Sean, I I

728
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 1: agree with what you said. That's a really good point.

729
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:58,360
Speaker 1: And I would say, like, maybe there's a way to

730
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:00,719
Speaker 1: say what I just said, or you're in version if

731
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:03,400
Speaker 1: you believe in what I just said. I always start

732
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:07,600
Speaker 1: if somebody said I'm feeling somebody's not receiving yes, I

733
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:11,240
Speaker 1: always say, are you open to talking about this issue

734
00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:14,480
Speaker 1: right or are you open to hearing something from me

735
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:16,600
Speaker 1: right now? Because if they say no, great, let me

736
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 1: know when you are, because then again giving them the

737
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 1: control to let you then say how you feel that way,

738
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:26,560
Speaker 1: it's not your's, there's no fault to be had. So yeah,

739
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:29,080
Speaker 1: that's true, that's great advice. But so what happened, Like

740
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:32,960
Speaker 1: did you collectively tell her? Because people don't like that either, right, Right,

741
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:35,239
Speaker 1: So we're all kind of a very close knit group

742
00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:38,280
Speaker 1: of friends, and there's there's three of us in this group,

743
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:40,880
Speaker 1: and we we each went to her with our concern.

744
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:42,319
Speaker 1: I had a friend who reached out to her via

745
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:44,800
Speaker 1: email saying, you know, I have to set some boundaries.

746
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:47,840
Speaker 1: Here's what I'm seeing. I can't be witnessed to this behavior.

747
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 1: There's a lot of yelling, there's throwing them objects. And

748
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 1: then another friend of mine who's a single mom, coming

749
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 1: from her perspective of you know that she had been

750
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 1: through that she had had people come to her and say, look,

751
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 1: this is getting out of control. So she had came

752
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:06,160
Speaker 1: it from from a standpoint of I've been in your position.

753
00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:10,000
Speaker 1: To my friend and my other friend who's the godmother,

754
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 1: she works with family dynamics. She she doesn't for a

755
00:37:13,719 --> 00:37:16,640
Speaker 1: living and so she knows a lot about kids and

756
00:37:16,719 --> 00:37:19,279
Speaker 1: family dynamics. And I was the one who actually just

757
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:21,680
Speaker 1: told her in person. I said, hey, these are concerns

758
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:24,440
Speaker 1: that that we are very We love you, this is

759
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 1: coming from a place of love. And she just shut down.

760
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:30,080
Speaker 1: I mean it was just a complete shutdown. How long

761
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 1: ago did this happen? So this happened in February of

762
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:35,799
Speaker 1: this year. Wow, And it's been kind of rocky since then,

763
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:39,400
Speaker 1: or just silent since it's been pretty much silent, I

764
00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:42,120
Speaker 1: have had a little bit of communication. Of the three

765
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:44,600
Speaker 1: of us, I've had probably the most communication, which is

766
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:47,480
Speaker 1: not much at all. But I was able to talk

767
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 1: with two of the boys and and they both said, Josh,

768
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:54,280
Speaker 1: I miss you. I miss you. It just it brought

769
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 1: me to tears. And I just like, it's like, how

770
00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:59,480
Speaker 1: do I you know, like these kids I want to

771
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:01,680
Speaker 1: see see her kids, and they want to see me.

772
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:03,799
Speaker 1: So I feel like the kids are really they're not

773
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,640
Speaker 1: They're being punished and they shouldn't be right. Was there

774
00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:09,840
Speaker 1: is there any kind of way to say to ask

775
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 1: her if she'll take your call as long as the

776
00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 1: ringers turned on that uh that necessary? Is there any

777
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,560
Speaker 1: way sorry that I'm sorry that we're bringing our personal

778
00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:23,680
Speaker 1: stuff into this anytime. Is there any way to say

779
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:26,440
Speaker 1: to her, to ask her the question again, to give

780
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:29,880
Speaker 1: her control to say? Is there any way to rectify

781
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 1: the situation? Is there anything I can do or say?

782
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:34,880
Speaker 1: Would you want to meet? Would you be open to

783
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:38,000
Speaker 1: meeting to maybe discussing and I can hear how I

784
00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:40,840
Speaker 1: can do better and uh and learn from you, and

785
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 1: then hopefully you'll be open to that, you know, because

786
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:45,919
Speaker 1: who could who could deny that? Right? I think that's

787
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:48,000
Speaker 1: a really good point. I think, And one of the

788
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 1: things we haven't explore a lot of is what saying

789
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 1: what can we can we talk about this in person?

790
00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:55,160
Speaker 1: I mean, this is you know, we're talking decades of

791
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:59,880
Speaker 1: friendship and you know, lots of experiences and knowing the

792
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:03,080
Speaker 1: three boys since they were babies, and it's like, we

793
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:05,759
Speaker 1: can't let something like this just go and maybe you

794
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:09,600
Speaker 1: know email and this sort of it's juvenile behavior. And

795
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:12,719
Speaker 1: but but again, aside from that, like maybe we just

796
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:15,359
Speaker 1: need can we sit down and can we talk? Yeah?

797
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,440
Speaker 1: And I think maybe not as a group, you know

798
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 1: what I mean, because she obviously feels ganged up on

799
00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:23,040
Speaker 1: and got and shut down because of that reason. So

800
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:25,120
Speaker 1: I think like instead of doing it as a group,

801
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:27,239
Speaker 1: think or it's a different group thing than you and

802
00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:29,840
Speaker 1: I Josh are used to. Yeah, got it, John, I

803
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:34,840
Speaker 1: think I'm down, but like, you know, really talking about

804
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:37,799
Speaker 1: you know, the kids like I missed the kids, you know,

805
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 1: and making that it like why do we have to

806
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:42,200
Speaker 1: punish the kids? I understand that your feelings got hurt,

807
00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:45,200
Speaker 1: and you're right, I'm not a parent. Obviously that approach

808
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:48,080
Speaker 1: didn't work with her, you know, and this is important

809
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:50,000
Speaker 1: to me. And there's no how old are the kids now?

810
00:39:50,280 --> 00:40:00,800
Speaker 1: The kids are and fifteen? Yeah? And is she married? Yeah?

811
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:04,239
Speaker 1: So how has your communication been with her? Like? What

812
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 1: is the short small? Like what have you communicated with

813
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 1: her since? So she had sent us three of us

814
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,200
Speaker 1: an email saying, look, I don't want you to reach out.

815
00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:15,480
Speaker 1: I don't need your advice. I don't want your advice.

816
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:17,920
Speaker 1: And I actually about a month later, said hey, can

817
00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 1: can we talk? And we did talk on the phone.

818
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:23,719
Speaker 1: It didn't go that well in the sense that I

819
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:26,279
Speaker 1: didn't feel like there was any movement forward. And then

820
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:29,880
Speaker 1: she actually reached out and wanted to meet with another

821
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:32,320
Speaker 1: friend of mine two other friends separate from the group,

822
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:35,200
Speaker 1: But she ignored me the whole time. And I tried,

823
00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 1: I really tried to make conversation to ask her how

824
00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:41,920
Speaker 1: how things were going, and it just didn't go anywhere.

825
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:46,000
Speaker 1: It sounds like she's pretty emotionally shut down, yes, and

826
00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:49,360
Speaker 1: she's probably having a really, really challenging time raising three boys.

827
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:52,160
Speaker 1: It sounds like because she doesn't know how to handle

828
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:55,560
Speaker 1: it right and doesn't want any advice, which means she

829
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:58,600
Speaker 1: knows she's doing something wrong or she feels like she's

830
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:01,840
Speaker 1: doing something wrong, right, I think that's accurate. Yeah, I

831
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:04,399
Speaker 1: think you have to like look at the situation as

832
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:07,080
Speaker 1: if like there's there's nothing you're going to be able

833
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:10,839
Speaker 1: to do to help her parenting. You can only influence

834
00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 1: those children by your own actions and your own relationships

835
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:17,799
Speaker 1: with them. So your main goal here just has to

836
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:22,480
Speaker 1: be to revitalize that relationship, not try to, you know,

837
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:24,719
Speaker 1: get her to admit that she's got any problems with

838
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,880
Speaker 1: her parenting. That's futile. You know, she's not going to

839
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:32,120
Speaker 1: realize that through anything from you saying anything to her. Obviously,

840
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 1: she's going to have to come to grips with that

841
00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:35,640
Speaker 1: at some other point in her life, if at all.

842
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:38,680
Speaker 1: So the only way to to to try, I think

843
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:41,279
Speaker 1: you should move forward and trying to salvage your relationship.

844
00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:48,360
Speaker 1: Have filed trying trying to file for for soul custody children.

845
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:56,640
Speaker 1: I haven't thought about that. Well, that's why you called in. Hello,

846
00:41:56,840 --> 00:42:01,319
Speaker 1: You're welcome. Problem solved. So we're here, and we are

847
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:04,719
Speaker 1: here every day between eleven and one eleven. Actually we're

848
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:07,759
Speaker 1: here every day between eleven and eleven fifteen. We only

849
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:10,960
Speaker 1: work in fifteen minute increments, so you've got to call in.

850
00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:13,319
Speaker 1: It works if you work it, and you know, I

851
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 1: think that maybe you've got to try a different approach, right,

852
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,120
Speaker 1: Like that didn't work, So now you have to try

853
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:20,719
Speaker 1: a different approach. And if enough time has elapsed, which

854
00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:22,600
Speaker 1: it does sound like it since it was in February,

855
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:25,120
Speaker 1: that's several months for you to just write her a

856
00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:27,799
Speaker 1: heartfelt email or call her and just go listen, I

857
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:31,560
Speaker 1: am really really missing you, and I'm really missing the boys.

858
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:35,600
Speaker 1: You know I'm missing you. Let's just forget about that conversation.

859
00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:39,480
Speaker 1: You think she wants to reconcile as well? I I

860
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 1: think so. I think deep down she really does. I've

861
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:45,040
Speaker 1: seen it in sort of some of the actions, but

862
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:47,439
Speaker 1: hasn't gotten to the point where we've really been able

863
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:50,520
Speaker 1: to move on. But Chelsea, I think that could work

864
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:54,120
Speaker 1: in terms of doing it in that way. Yeah, Like

865
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:56,160
Speaker 1: she just is somebody that's not going to admit that

866
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:58,839
Speaker 1: there's an issue. Right. It sounds like she's stuck, so

867
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:00,799
Speaker 1: that what you have to do is pretend that you

868
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:03,399
Speaker 1: were wrong to even bring it up and say I'm

869
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:05,880
Speaker 1: sorry that I even brought that up. I overstepped I

870
00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:08,200
Speaker 1: can understand how you'd be so upset with me. But

871
00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:10,680
Speaker 1: the truth of the matter is I miss you, I

872
00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:13,239
Speaker 1: miss the boys. And just remember you're saying this to

873
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:16,440
Speaker 1: make sure that you have that connective tissue to still

874
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:19,200
Speaker 1: explore your relationship with the boys. Don't say explore. That

875
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:21,800
Speaker 1: sounds strange, but I mean, you know what I'm saying,

876
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:25,879
Speaker 1: like to continue, Yeah, to sustain it and and and

877
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:28,399
Speaker 1: make her believe you know, and it is about her too,

878
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:31,000
Speaker 1: because you have had decades of decades long friendship that

879
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:34,120
Speaker 1: is important to you, as you've already stated. So yeah,

880
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:35,920
Speaker 1: I think you just have to be like a bigger

881
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:38,480
Speaker 1: person and just pretend you fucked up and put it

882
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:41,279
Speaker 1: all on yourself, and don't make it about you and

883
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:43,719
Speaker 1: your other friends. This is just about you. You're gonna

884
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:46,320
Speaker 1: go clean up your side of the street to reclaim

885
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:48,680
Speaker 1: this relationship and they can do whatever they want. That

886
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:51,759
Speaker 1: makes sense. That makes sense. And what's her husband? What's

887
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:55,080
Speaker 1: his situation? Is he? Like? Are you friends with him? Yeah? Yeah,

888
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:57,160
Speaker 1: I am friends with him, And we've all known each

889
00:43:57,160 --> 00:43:59,760
Speaker 1: other about the scene amount of time and she married

890
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:04,280
Speaker 1: him after college and we graduated. Very nice guy, good dad.

891
00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 1: We just don't know what's going on, So I haven't

892
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:10,440
Speaker 1: really taken that angle to reach out to him. But

893
00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:13,719
Speaker 1: don't don't do that, because here's the thing you're already like.

894
00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:16,440
Speaker 1: She has a problem with you guys having spoken behind

895
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:19,200
Speaker 1: her back. That's going to be you know, the crux

896
00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 1: of her issue is that you guys are talking about

897
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:23,720
Speaker 1: how bad of a parent she is together as a group.

898
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:25,719
Speaker 1: That's what she's got in her mind because she's heard

899
00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 1: it from three of you. So you've got to divorce

900
00:44:28,239 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 1: yourself from talking about her behind her back to anyone anymore.

901
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:34,920
Speaker 1: You know, that's just going to make it worse. So

902
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:38,520
Speaker 1: just you know, redirect now, and just you have a

903
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:41,360
Speaker 1: whole new approach, and just make it about your friendship.

904
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:43,680
Speaker 1: You love her, you miss her, and it's not your

905
00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:45,880
Speaker 1: job to tell her how to parent anymore, you know,

906
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:48,040
Speaker 1: And and for the sake of your relationship with the

907
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:51,120
Speaker 1: children and for your relationship with her, And I guarantee

908
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:54,279
Speaker 1: you she's going to be able to hear that what

909
00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:58,480
Speaker 1: you said before a lot more clearly once you, guys

910
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:01,600
Speaker 1: have stabilized your own relations and ship, you know, and

911
00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:04,839
Speaker 1: she's reminded of the goodness that you bring. And you know,

912
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:06,719
Speaker 1: you just have to leave your judgment at the door.

913
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:09,880
Speaker 1: It's it's not they're not your children, right, right? That

914
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:12,319
Speaker 1: makes sense. Do you think of all of the what

915
00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:15,200
Speaker 1: we've all been through and the great times we've had

916
00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:19,799
Speaker 1: to let something like this derail is yeah? Right? I

917
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:21,680
Speaker 1: think even if you, you know, if you've had so

918
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:24,560
Speaker 1: much history, find a great picture, find something you know,

919
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:27,000
Speaker 1: and just send that to her and say. This popped

920
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:30,600
Speaker 1: up in my memories today and it just made me remember, like,

921
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:33,000
Speaker 1: oh my god, I can't believe that we haven't spent

922
00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:35,359
Speaker 1: this time together. I miss your boys so much. I'm

923
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:38,560
Speaker 1: so sorry I overstepped, Like, can we just forget about that?

924
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:41,920
Speaker 1: Where's everybody in kidnapping? I mean, are you open to

925
00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:46,600
Speaker 1: a kidnapping? Josh? I thought about it, and I would

926
00:45:46,640 --> 00:45:51,160
Speaker 1: like to hear more about this potential number. We have

927
00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:53,399
Speaker 1: a kidnapping hotline that you can call and we can

928
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:57,759
Speaker 1: arrange for three children to be kidnapped. It's usually it's yeah,

929
00:45:57,800 --> 00:45:59,840
Speaker 1: I know, I know. I knew Sean was going to

930
00:45:59,880 --> 00:46:02,000
Speaker 1: be terrible at giving advice, and that's why I invited

931
00:46:02,080 --> 00:46:04,239
Speaker 1: him here today. But Josh, I think you've got some

932
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:06,480
Speaker 1: good advice. But will you please let follow up with

933
00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:09,920
Speaker 1: us and let us know how she reacted. Absolutely, I

934
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:12,399
Speaker 1: would love to You're a good You're a good guy,

935
00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:15,520
Speaker 1: you care that much and to love that much. I

936
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:18,560
Speaker 1: that's really really great. I appreciate saying that. And this

937
00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:21,040
Speaker 1: has helped a lot because I had thought about some

938
00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:23,719
Speaker 1: of what you brought up before and and it's nice

939
00:46:23,719 --> 00:46:27,040
Speaker 1: to get new perspective. And yes, I would love to

940
00:46:27,080 --> 00:46:29,160
Speaker 1: follow up and let you know how. And I would also,

941
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:32,880
Speaker 1: you know, just moving forward in success that this relationship

942
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:35,200
Speaker 1: does get back, like get out of the habit of

943
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:39,279
Speaker 1: commiserating with your other friends about her parenting style. Just

944
00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:42,200
Speaker 1: that kind of breeds a whole bunch of other negativity.

945
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:45,399
Speaker 1: It's a situation you have very little control over. All

946
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:47,799
Speaker 1: you can control is your interactions with her and your

947
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:52,200
Speaker 1: interactions with her children. And you know, lead by that example. Well, yeah,

948
00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:55,160
Speaker 1: I'm ready to try it and see what happens. Yeah,

949
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:57,680
Speaker 1: I would love to know what happens. Yeah, so interesting.

950
00:46:57,760 --> 00:46:59,880
Speaker 1: I'll give you Shawn's personal phone or I'm actually gonna

951
00:46:59,880 --> 00:47:01,480
Speaker 1: now said at the end of this podcast, so you

952
00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:04,040
Speaker 1: can feel free to text him at any time or FaceTime.

953
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:07,120
Speaker 1: I'm actually he just loves he loves to answer FaceTime, Sean,

954
00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:10,360
Speaker 1: I'd be great helpful, Yeah, for sure, for sure, and

955
00:47:10,400 --> 00:47:17,640
Speaker 1: then we'll develop a relationship absolutely. Thank you, Josh, thank you, Josh,

956
00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:22,799
Speaker 1: thank you, Thank you so much. Sean and Catherine, thank you. Okay,

957
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:28,600
Speaker 1: take care, bye God Sean. At first so suing for

958
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:32,000
Speaker 1: soul custody and then a kidnapping as your backup. I'm

959
00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:34,760
Speaker 1: just trying to come up with ideas well. I mean, listen, listen,

960
00:47:34,760 --> 00:47:38,640
Speaker 1: we're spcalling. Yeah, yeah, but yeah, we're spit falling with

961
00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:43,760
Speaker 1: the more ideas, the merrier. The season is upon us merriment.

962
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:48,240
Speaker 1: The season of merriment is upon us and giving and taking,

963
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:53,720
Speaker 1: yes and receiving, topping and bottoming. Yeah, it's the most

964
00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:58,640
Speaker 1: wonderful time of the year. He has a good voice.

965
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:03,120
Speaker 1: Can you hear him? Yeah, he can really carry a tune.

966
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:09,040
Speaker 1: That was vibrato. That was a little vibrato, do it. No,

967
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:12,720
Speaker 1: I can't sing at all, tenor baritone. I'm a little

968
00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:19,960
Speaker 1: right in between. Yeah, I love it. Cool kidding, Yeah, yeah,

969
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:23,040
Speaker 1: we know. Please don't you please continue? Yeah. I just

970
00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:25,920
Speaker 1: hope forges that like she hears this, and here's how

971
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:29,239
Speaker 1: much he cares about her. Yeah, that's the ither thing

972
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:31,319
Speaker 1: I know, I know what it's like to have I

973
00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 1: don't know it's because I'm not a parent, but I

974
00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:35,560
Speaker 1: can imagine what it's like to have somebody. You know,

975
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:39,960
Speaker 1: when you are a parent to children, that's your best

976
00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 1: number one job in the whole world, right, And and

977
00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:47,719
Speaker 1: for somebody, anybody, anybody, family, friends, whatever, to come in

978
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:50,359
Speaker 1: and kind of how it's received, it is probably tell

979
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:53,160
Speaker 1: you how to parent. But they're probably just making suggestions here,

980
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:56,919
Speaker 1: they're dictating how you should Maybe parent is a very

981
00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:59,840
Speaker 1: it's like that's the line. You know, that's because no

982
00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:03,239
Speaker 1: one job as parents if you don't know what's right

983
00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:06,839
Speaker 1: invest And a lot of times if people had a

984
00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:09,200
Speaker 1: better approach about the advice they want to give to

985
00:49:09,239 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 1: you as a parent, the softer, the yeah, I was saying,

986
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:17,040
Speaker 1: are you open to Yeah, within all of your horrible advice,

987
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:23,759
Speaker 1: there's always one colonel and asking someone are you open

988
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:27,359
Speaker 1: to hearing this is a great opener. Yeah. Well, our

989
00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:30,840
Speaker 1: next caller is Alex, and he is calling from the

990
00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:40,279
Speaker 1: UK long distance. Wow, fancy can afford that? Alex says,

991
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:44,000
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea, I'm currently in a copyrighting job that's closer

992
00:49:44,040 --> 00:49:46,640
Speaker 1: to my dream job than anything else. I've done before,

993
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:49,200
Speaker 1: and I'm happy in a relationship with my boyfriend of

994
00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:51,560
Speaker 1: two years. But for the past couple of months, I've

995
00:49:51,560 --> 00:49:54,759
Speaker 1: been feeling pretty unsatisfied with life and had no motivation

996
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:57,680
Speaker 1: to do anything at all. It's led me to struggling

997
00:49:57,719 --> 00:50:00,239
Speaker 1: to do work whilst in the office, and how having

998
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:02,319
Speaker 1: to do it at home in the evenings to catch up.

999
00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:06,600
Speaker 1: I'm constantly distracting myself from doing anything productive because i

1000
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:09,360
Speaker 1: can't focus at all. It's so annoying. It kind of

1001
00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:11,319
Speaker 1: feels like I'm writing a to do list every day

1002
00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:13,399
Speaker 1: and then turning it upside down and doing the least

1003
00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 1: important things first. I'm hoping you'll have some advice that

1004
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:19,120
Speaker 1: can help me focus on what's important in order to

1005
00:50:19,200 --> 00:50:23,480
Speaker 1: be able to enjoy my free time. Alex, Hi, Alex,

1006
00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:27,279
Speaker 1: Alex Hi, Chelsea, how are you? Oh? I'm good. This

1007
00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:30,080
Speaker 1: is Sean. Hi. So nice to meet you. Nice to

1008
00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:32,719
Speaker 1: meet you too. It's such a pleasure. I love your glasses. Oh,

1009
00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:35,920
Speaker 1: thank you very much to make the effort. Sean has

1010
00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:38,640
Speaker 1: never met an English person before, so he's very excited.

1011
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:42,040
Speaker 1: I'm reading the subtitles as you talk, so wait. So

1012
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:47,640
Speaker 1: the main issue is prioritizing your kind of life, right,

1013
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:50,239
Speaker 1: so you have more free time for yourself and you're

1014
00:50:50,239 --> 00:50:54,600
Speaker 1: not and what you're feeling overworked or not so much overworked.

1015
00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:57,239
Speaker 1: I'm just I've always been a procrastinator, but over the

1016
00:50:57,280 --> 00:50:59,680
Speaker 1: last few months it's got a lot a lot worse.

1017
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:03,719
Speaker 1: And it kind of just feels like, like I said,

1018
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:05,520
Speaker 1: I've got a list of all the stuff I need

1019
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:07,880
Speaker 1: to do, and I'm kind of scared about doing the

1020
00:51:07,880 --> 00:51:11,640
Speaker 1: most important stuff, so I do the basic things instead.

1021
00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:14,799
Speaker 1: And so, what what about that that scares you? What

1022
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:18,080
Speaker 1: about the things? What goes in your mind when that

1023
00:51:18,239 --> 00:51:21,440
Speaker 1: that makes you scared? I guess it's not knowing what

1024
00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:24,160
Speaker 1: I'm doing, And I guess I'm like scared of failure

1025
00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:28,440
Speaker 1: or something like that. And this is a new feeling. Yeah,

1026
00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 1: so it's happened a couple of times before, but it's

1027
00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:34,200
Speaker 1: a lot stronger at the moment. I've done jobs before

1028
00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 1: that I've not really cared about, and I've always wanted

1029
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:39,400
Speaker 1: to get into writing, and now I'm in it, I

1030
00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:41,400
Speaker 1: feel like I just need to try and put my

1031
00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:44,560
Speaker 1: best foot forward all the time. So yeah, I don't know,

1032
00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:46,759
Speaker 1: I just feel a bit frozen sometimes when I'm trying

1033
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:49,520
Speaker 1: to do work. Yeah, I used to. I know how

1034
00:51:49,520 --> 00:51:51,719
Speaker 1: you feel, because you do. You feel stuck right a

1035
00:51:51,760 --> 00:51:55,680
Speaker 1: little bit and uninspired and uninspired. Yeah, and yeah, it's

1036
00:51:55,800 --> 00:51:58,279
Speaker 1: it's the hardest thing to It's that the hardest thing.

1037
00:51:58,280 --> 00:51:59,880
Speaker 1: But it's it's difficult to come out of it. But

1038
00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:01,799
Speaker 1: I used to when I was younger, and I'm just

1039
00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:04,000
Speaker 1: gonna have diarrhea of the mouth until one of you

1040
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:06,080
Speaker 1: interrupts me. When I was younger, I used to write

1041
00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:08,160
Speaker 1: goal lists, which is the same thing as to do.

1042
00:52:08,640 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 1: And I would random, complete stream of conscious randomly write

1043
00:52:13,200 --> 00:52:15,120
Speaker 1: stuff down so you could have to do with anything

1044
00:52:15,120 --> 00:52:20,640
Speaker 1: with money, relationships, connections, a diet, exercise, anything. I would

1045
00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 1: just number one, I got to eat better, to really

1046
00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:25,920
Speaker 1: focus on my sleep because sleep is everything. Three call

1047
00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:28,520
Speaker 1: my mom more often. Four save you know, a hundred

1048
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:31,680
Speaker 1: thousand dollars one day, whatever it is, right, And I

1049
00:52:31,719 --> 00:52:33,680
Speaker 1: would just write them down because then I put them away.

1050
00:52:33,680 --> 00:52:35,319
Speaker 1: I don't know if you do that or not, but

1051
00:52:35,480 --> 00:52:38,879
Speaker 1: let me tell you something. I'm a massive, massive advocate

1052
00:52:39,320 --> 00:52:42,240
Speaker 1: for doing that, because I'm telling you right now, Alex,

1053
00:52:42,680 --> 00:52:47,640
Speaker 1: they fucking come true. I swear to God, I swear

1054
00:52:47,719 --> 00:52:51,440
Speaker 1: to God if you start and everybody's like, wow, I

1055
00:52:51,480 --> 00:52:53,760
Speaker 1: don't want to do that. Why it takes five minutes

1056
00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:56,840
Speaker 1: to just sit with yourself and just write down everything

1057
00:52:56,840 --> 00:52:58,839
Speaker 1: you've ever wanted to focus on and do. It could

1058
00:52:58,840 --> 00:53:02,200
Speaker 1: be a short term go a long term goal, lifetime goals.

1059
00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:05,360
Speaker 1: I and then I had on my lifetime goals I

1060
00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:08,200
Speaker 1: had beyond David Letterman, Oh my gosh, have a billboard

1061
00:53:08,239 --> 00:53:10,920
Speaker 1: on SUNSI board host Saturday Night Live, all this stuff,

1062
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:14,400
Speaker 1: and they all fucking came true because I wrote them

1063
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:17,680
Speaker 1: down and I would I would recirculate them every six months,

1064
00:53:17,719 --> 00:53:19,799
Speaker 1: and I would open the drawer and go, oh my gosh,

1065
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:21,240
Speaker 1: and I would cross off the ones that did happen,

1066
00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:23,080
Speaker 1: and whatever didn't happen, I would just carry over the

1067
00:53:23,080 --> 00:53:26,720
Speaker 1: next six months. And what this does it is subconsciously

1068
00:53:26,880 --> 00:53:31,840
Speaker 1: makes you do one thing, one thing towards those goals,

1069
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:35,000
Speaker 1: whether it's one phone call, one email, one text. So

1070
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:37,759
Speaker 1: let's say one of your goals is I want to

1071
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:40,680
Speaker 1: one of your longtime girls don't want to publish a book? Right,

1072
00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:42,320
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's what it is, or is

1073
00:53:42,320 --> 00:53:44,799
Speaker 1: its script or I don't know. So that stays on

1074
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:46,840
Speaker 1: there until you do it, until you do it, always

1075
00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:49,560
Speaker 1: write that down, because you'll write it down going gosh,

1076
00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:52,319
Speaker 1: I should write at least just one page. Maybe I'll

1077
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:55,600
Speaker 1: just write one page and that's it. Don't put any

1078
00:53:55,600 --> 00:54:00,520
Speaker 1: more pressure in yourself. Just write one or even one paragraph, yeah,

1079
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:03,400
Speaker 1: and put it away. I think a lot about procrastination

1080
00:54:03,560 --> 00:54:06,239
Speaker 1: is a lot of it is about feels overwhelming. Right.

1081
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:08,400
Speaker 1: Some of these larger tasks that you're talking about, are

1082
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:10,719
Speaker 1: they things that are doable within that day? Are they

1083
00:54:10,880 --> 00:54:14,760
Speaker 1: broader dreams like career dreams? The stuff I'm really stuck

1084
00:54:14,760 --> 00:54:16,600
Speaker 1: on at the moment is specific things that could be

1085
00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:18,640
Speaker 1: done in that day. But I do also have sort

1086
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:21,880
Speaker 1: of wider goals, So I think part of the issue

1087
00:54:21,920 --> 00:54:23,560
Speaker 1: could be as well that the job I'm in right

1088
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:25,800
Speaker 1: now is an exact thing that I want to do

1089
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:28,320
Speaker 1: like forever. I've got a lot of steps forward that

1090
00:54:28,360 --> 00:54:30,959
Speaker 1: I want to take. Because as soon as you start

1091
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:34,840
Speaker 1: accomplishing even the tiniest goals, it builds your confidence to

1092
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:37,720
Speaker 1: then accomplish the next thing. And I know that step

1093
00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:40,359
Speaker 1: is that first step is a really really hard and

1094
00:54:40,520 --> 00:54:42,960
Speaker 1: nobody can make you do it other than you, but

1095
00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:46,000
Speaker 1: you just it's all about baby steps. And also that

1096
00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:50,200
Speaker 1: first step is something that makes every other step much easier.

1097
00:54:50,440 --> 00:54:52,920
Speaker 1: You're looking at that first step is like every step

1098
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:54,640
Speaker 1: is going to be that big leap, and it's not.

1099
00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:57,680
Speaker 1: Because once you take the initiative for the things that

1100
00:54:57,719 --> 00:54:59,680
Speaker 1: matter to you and are important in your life, it

1101
00:54:59,719 --> 00:55:01,759
Speaker 1: doesn't matter if your job isn't the perfect job for

1102
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:03,799
Speaker 1: you right now. If you have a list of things

1103
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:06,640
Speaker 1: to do, don't tackle the small, meaningless things first. Take

1104
00:55:06,640 --> 00:55:09,400
Speaker 1: a big thing every morning as a way to change

1105
00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:11,560
Speaker 1: your behavior. You know what I mean, You're going to

1106
00:55:11,680 --> 00:55:14,040
Speaker 1: change your life. You have a huge opportunity right here

1107
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:16,960
Speaker 1: to change the trajectory of your life. Instead of just

1108
00:55:17,040 --> 00:55:19,640
Speaker 1: sitting in a stand zone being like I don't know,

1109
00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:22,000
Speaker 1: I don't feel inspired, I don't love this, I don't

1110
00:55:22,040 --> 00:55:24,680
Speaker 1: love that. You know, you have the power to change

1111
00:55:24,719 --> 00:55:26,960
Speaker 1: what you're gonna do, and you can do this by

1112
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:30,480
Speaker 1: just taking more of an initiative and just reorganizing your

1113
00:55:30,560 --> 00:55:33,520
Speaker 1: day and starting out with the bigger tasks. Because the

1114
00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:36,719
Speaker 1: same chip in your head that makes you eat when

1115
00:55:36,719 --> 00:55:39,719
Speaker 1: you're hungry is the same chip you need to activate

1116
00:55:39,719 --> 00:55:42,480
Speaker 1: for whatever it is you want. Because when you're like

1117
00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:44,400
Speaker 1: when you're gone all day and you're kind of fucking

1118
00:55:44,440 --> 00:55:47,680
Speaker 1: starving you You will do you will do anything to

1119
00:55:47,719 --> 00:55:50,319
Speaker 1: get food inside of your stomach. Right and that same

1120
00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:52,799
Speaker 1: thing as whatever is small or big, you have to

1121
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:56,239
Speaker 1: activate whatever that is in the same way. I think, yes,

1122
00:55:56,400 --> 00:55:58,120
Speaker 1: I agree with you, and I think you you know

1123
00:55:58,280 --> 00:56:00,920
Speaker 1: you're in charge again of your activation and right your

1124
00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:03,520
Speaker 1: I can see it in your face, your uninspired, your board,

1125
00:56:03,640 --> 00:56:06,279
Speaker 1: You're in a state of a we You can change that.

1126
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:09,680
Speaker 1: You have the power to change that. So that's exciting,

1127
00:56:09,840 --> 00:56:12,520
Speaker 1: Like you can set, Okay, tomorrow, this is what I'm

1128
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:14,560
Speaker 1: gonna do. You can get off this call and write

1129
00:56:14,560 --> 00:56:16,400
Speaker 1: a list what Sean just said, write a list of

1130
00:56:16,440 --> 00:56:18,600
Speaker 1: the things of your broad goals, and you can write

1131
00:56:18,600 --> 00:56:20,320
Speaker 1: a list of your shorter goals or the things that

1132
00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:22,360
Speaker 1: are like the practical things that you actually have to

1133
00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:24,960
Speaker 1: get done for your workload. You're gonna start to feel

1134
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:28,719
Speaker 1: better about yourself immediately. You're gonna start to feel more inspired.

1135
00:56:29,120 --> 00:56:32,640
Speaker 1: It does work, It does absolutely, Catherine. We've talked about

1136
00:56:32,640 --> 00:56:36,120
Speaker 1: this a lot on the podcast. Yeah. Absolutely. And I

1137
00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:39,760
Speaker 1: think too, as a person who is also prone to procrastination,

1138
00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:43,239
Speaker 1: specifically due to having some a d h D and

1139
00:56:43,320 --> 00:56:45,840
Speaker 1: some other stuff like that. One of the most freeing

1140
00:56:46,080 --> 00:56:50,280
Speaker 1: pieces of advice that I ever got was to again,

1141
00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:53,040
Speaker 1: those lists are so important. Even if there's three things

1142
00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:55,120
Speaker 1: you know you need to get done that day, you

1143
00:56:55,160 --> 00:56:57,759
Speaker 1: know doing those things. But what I would do is

1144
00:56:57,840 --> 00:57:00,360
Speaker 1: I would spend the whole day beating myself up about

1145
00:57:00,400 --> 00:57:02,480
Speaker 1: how I wasn't getting the big thing done and it

1146
00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:05,520
Speaker 1: was hanging over my head and you know, just ruining

1147
00:57:05,560 --> 00:57:08,719
Speaker 1: my day. And the best piece of advice I got

1148
00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:11,480
Speaker 1: was you're not going to do it until the last minute,

1149
00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:13,759
Speaker 1: and you're also going to do your best work at

1150
00:57:13,800 --> 00:57:17,240
Speaker 1: the last minute. And so for some people's brains, like

1151
00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:19,840
Speaker 1: we need that pressure to sort of get us to

1152
00:57:20,040 --> 00:57:23,120
Speaker 1: take the take the movement and actually do it. So,

1153
00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:25,160
Speaker 1: you know what, if you find that you want to

1154
00:57:25,200 --> 00:57:27,680
Speaker 1: be working on your writing or whatever in the morning,

1155
00:57:27,840 --> 00:57:30,160
Speaker 1: so that you can give yourself that pressure, even though

1156
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:31,920
Speaker 1: it may mean that you need to do some work

1157
00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:35,280
Speaker 1: in the evening, maybe restructuring your day depending on your

1158
00:57:35,360 --> 00:57:37,960
Speaker 1: job is something that you can do so that you

1159
00:57:38,280 --> 00:57:41,600
Speaker 1: still are having downtime, you still are having creative time.

1160
00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:43,760
Speaker 1: And maybe that creative time is first thing in the

1161
00:57:43,800 --> 00:57:46,280
Speaker 1: morning for you, or maybe it's going to branch with

1162
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:48,880
Speaker 1: your boyfriend or whatever it is. How's your sleep, Alex.

1163
00:57:49,920 --> 00:57:52,600
Speaker 1: It's not ideal, it's it could be worse, for sure.

1164
00:57:53,200 --> 00:57:56,120
Speaker 1: The last week or so, I've really made a conscious

1165
00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:59,840
Speaker 1: effort to if I'm not feeling inspired, just putting a

1166
00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:01,760
Speaker 1: top down and thinking I need to go to bed now,

1167
00:58:01,800 --> 00:58:04,200
Speaker 1: because otherwise it will just roll over to tomorrow. But

1168
00:58:04,240 --> 00:58:06,400
Speaker 1: I do have a bad habit of sort of feeling

1169
00:58:06,440 --> 00:58:08,320
Speaker 1: like I need to do a task in that day

1170
00:58:08,360 --> 00:58:10,360
Speaker 1: and then not only let myself go to bed until

1171
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:13,400
Speaker 1: I've done it, and then obviously if that drags on.

1172
00:58:14,040 --> 00:58:16,480
Speaker 1: I think the day I sent that at the submission in,

1173
00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:18,920
Speaker 1: I'd been up until four am, and then I had

1174
00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:23,360
Speaker 1: to get up at eight am. Yeah, thats ruined the

1175
00:58:23,360 --> 00:58:27,360
Speaker 1: next day. And you're way past the point of diminishing

1176
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:30,320
Speaker 1: returns at that point, like you're not your brain's not there,

1177
00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:34,360
Speaker 1: You're exhausted. I think also for you, if you're saying

1178
00:58:34,400 --> 00:58:36,000
Speaker 1: you have a lack of focus, that the thing that

1179
00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:39,720
Speaker 1: helps me the most focused, focus the most is meditation.

1180
00:58:39,920 --> 00:58:43,640
Speaker 1: So that has helped me focus and stay like in

1181
00:58:43,680 --> 00:58:48,240
Speaker 1: a conversation, paying attention for long extended periods of time.

1182
00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:51,600
Speaker 1: So I think it can only enhance you to like

1183
00:58:51,720 --> 00:58:53,720
Speaker 1: You're just going to create a couple of new habits

1184
00:58:53,760 --> 00:58:59,880
Speaker 1: immediately and start download Headspace, download that meditation app, Calm, Headspace,

1185
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:03,640
Speaker 1: find a voice that doesn't annoy you, basically over a

1186
00:59:03,760 --> 00:59:06,440
Speaker 1: British and their Yeah, I've ever hear they're British Headspaces

1187
00:59:06,520 --> 00:59:08,520
Speaker 1: British So you might like that guy, or you might

1188
00:59:08,560 --> 00:59:12,120
Speaker 1: like the American woman from Calm, but one of those

1189
00:59:12,200 --> 00:59:14,200
Speaker 1: and just commit to five minutes in the morning, because

1190
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:16,280
Speaker 1: that just is saying to you, like, Hey, I'm this

1191
00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:19,000
Speaker 1: is my effort to get myself on track every single morning,

1192
00:59:19,240 --> 00:59:22,120
Speaker 1: to get myself focused, to give myself this amount of time.

1193
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:23,920
Speaker 1: Who cares if you're doing it right or not. It's

1194
00:59:23,960 --> 00:59:26,800
Speaker 1: not about that. It's about setting yourself up for success

1195
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:29,760
Speaker 1: for that day. And there's nothing that has helped my

1196
00:59:29,840 --> 00:59:32,640
Speaker 1: focus more than meditation. So you are going to get

1197
00:59:32,680 --> 00:59:35,520
Speaker 1: returns on that. You just have to be consistent with

1198
00:59:35,560 --> 00:59:38,480
Speaker 1: some new patterns of behavior. And I think I guarantee

1199
00:59:38,520 --> 00:59:40,440
Speaker 1: you you'll turn around soon. I agree. And that's what

1200
00:59:40,520 --> 00:59:42,640
Speaker 1: this phone call I think is all about. Is this

1201
00:59:43,760 --> 00:59:45,040
Speaker 1: so cheese is the first day of the rest of

1202
00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:47,400
Speaker 1: your life, right, But but it's the first day of

1203
00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:50,160
Speaker 1: the rest of your new behavior. Because when I said

1204
00:59:50,160 --> 00:59:51,600
Speaker 1: how are you sleeping and you said four in the morning,

1205
00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:54,439
Speaker 1: that's that's not good sleeping. So yes, what Chelsea said.

1206
00:59:54,480 --> 00:59:56,760
Speaker 1: But I promise Alex, listen to me loud and clear.

1207
00:59:57,400 --> 01:00:01,600
Speaker 1: I promise you. I promise you. If you start writing

1208
01:00:01,600 --> 01:00:03,640
Speaker 1: this stuff down, it will all come true. And one

1209
01:00:03,680 --> 01:00:06,040
Speaker 1: of them should be sleep better. I need I need

1210
01:00:06,120 --> 01:00:10,320
Speaker 1: better sleep hygiene. Right, sleep hygiene right, which means you

1211
01:00:10,360 --> 01:00:11,840
Speaker 1: go to bed at the same time every night. I

1212
01:00:11,880 --> 01:00:14,120
Speaker 1: know it's hard. You know it's hard, well for you.

1213
01:00:14,160 --> 01:00:19,080
Speaker 1: Sleep hygiene, I think means a couple of things. Yeah. Yeah,

1214
01:00:19,520 --> 01:00:21,120
Speaker 1: she's saying I need to take a shower, but right

1215
01:00:21,280 --> 01:00:25,200
Speaker 1: it is late. Yeah, um, yeah, I mean that's that's

1216
01:00:25,240 --> 01:00:27,560
Speaker 1: great advice. I'll take both bits of advice and board.

1217
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:30,640
Speaker 1: I thought about meditation for a long time and I've

1218
01:00:30,640 --> 01:00:35,000
Speaker 1: tried headspace. You've been procrastinating about meditation as well. Yeah absolutely,

1219
01:00:35,080 --> 01:00:36,840
Speaker 1: that was like number twenty on my list you've been

1220
01:00:36,840 --> 01:00:40,360
Speaker 1: meditating and whether you should meditate? Yeah absolutely, But yeah no,

1221
01:00:40,480 --> 01:00:42,080
Speaker 1: I will put that right to the top of the list,

1222
01:00:42,200 --> 01:00:43,920
Speaker 1: and I'll make your list as all. And don't use

1223
01:00:43,920 --> 01:00:46,200
Speaker 1: your job as an excuse like to not get things done,

1224
01:00:46,240 --> 01:00:49,120
Speaker 1: like you just give yourself a period of time where

1225
01:00:49,120 --> 01:00:51,040
Speaker 1: you're going to be creative and sometimes it will happen

1226
01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:52,920
Speaker 1: and sometimes it won't. But if you get into these

1227
01:00:52,920 --> 01:00:55,480
Speaker 1: new habits, everything's going to flow more easily for you.

1228
01:00:55,760 --> 01:00:57,400
Speaker 1: Like things are going to be easier. It's not going

1229
01:00:57,440 --> 01:00:59,440
Speaker 1: to be such a like you're thinking. You know, it

1230
01:00:59,440 --> 01:01:01,920
Speaker 1: feels like a huntain top at this moment, but as

1231
01:01:01,960 --> 01:01:05,280
Speaker 1: soon as you start taking these little steps, you're it's

1232
01:01:05,280 --> 01:01:06,840
Speaker 1: not going to be a mountaintop. It's just going to

1233
01:01:06,920 --> 01:01:09,240
Speaker 1: be like a treadmill and you're gonna like it. Cool.

1234
01:01:09,640 --> 01:01:12,680
Speaker 1: Sounds good, all right, Alex, thanks for calling in. Thanks Alex,

1235
01:01:12,920 --> 01:01:16,880
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Take care of good luck in England.

1236
01:01:17,760 --> 01:01:20,520
Speaker 1: Alex is a huge fan of mine. I thought that

1237
01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:23,080
Speaker 1: he seemed to really be taken by you. I don't

1238
01:01:23,080 --> 01:01:24,800
Speaker 1: know what you're talking about. I don't know why you

1239
01:01:24,840 --> 01:01:28,040
Speaker 1: would react that way. That's so typical of you to

1240
01:01:28,080 --> 01:01:31,360
Speaker 1: make this all about you. That's so typical of you

1241
01:01:31,640 --> 01:01:33,600
Speaker 1: to make this all about you when we have somebody

1242
01:01:33,600 --> 01:01:36,800
Speaker 1: in need across it's called fucking Chelsea. Whatever the fun

1243
01:01:36,920 --> 01:01:40,200
Speaker 1: this podcast, it's Chelsea Late Later, Dear Chelsea. It's called

1244
01:01:40,200 --> 01:01:45,040
Speaker 1: Dear chel Oh my god, the aids, Oh my god,

1245
01:01:45,520 --> 01:01:47,680
Speaker 1: did you owned her? I scratched it was just the

1246
01:01:47,680 --> 01:01:49,600
Speaker 1: top of his penis hit me in the elbow, and

1247
01:01:49,640 --> 01:01:51,760
Speaker 1: now I'm bleeding. You're not the first who put a

1248
01:01:51,840 --> 01:01:55,360
Speaker 1: razor blade on the top of your penis. I just scratched. No,

1249
01:01:55,520 --> 01:01:57,600
Speaker 1: I had. I had like a bite and I scratched

1250
01:01:57,600 --> 01:02:01,200
Speaker 1: it too hard. Oh god, lost so much blood. I

1251
01:02:01,240 --> 01:02:04,000
Speaker 1: can barely see over. This will roll over right and

1252
01:02:04,440 --> 01:02:10,160
Speaker 1: nicely to a hypochondriactor for you. It will let me

1253
01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:12,960
Speaker 1: just touch that is I had. I had once had

1254
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:16,439
Speaker 1: this showrunner that walked into the office and she had

1255
01:02:16,560 --> 01:02:19,200
Speaker 1: gotten you know, blood, her blood work done that morning,

1256
01:02:19,520 --> 01:02:21,720
Speaker 1: and she walked in into the writer's room and just

1257
01:02:21,840 --> 01:02:25,680
Speaker 1: was like this walked by like with that little cotton ball,

1258
01:02:25,840 --> 01:02:28,280
Speaker 1: like she had been, you know, to Vietnam. We were

1259
01:02:28,320 --> 01:02:30,560
Speaker 1: all just saying, Okay, we get it. You went to

1260
01:02:30,560 --> 01:02:35,520
Speaker 1: the fucking doctor. You're fucking idiot about the faint. Yeah,

1261
01:02:36,120 --> 01:02:41,800
Speaker 1: oh gosh, I'm always right. Sarah. Silverman just told me

1262
01:02:41,840 --> 01:02:44,800
Speaker 1: that you have to get your shingles inoculation when you

1263
01:02:44,920 --> 01:02:47,840
Speaker 1: get see, I had no idea you don't want to

1264
01:02:47,880 --> 01:02:51,920
Speaker 1: get I think I've had home. You don't get a double.

1265
01:02:52,120 --> 01:02:57,160
Speaker 1: You get a shingle. Oh okay, ironically you need a

1266
01:02:57,200 --> 01:02:59,400
Speaker 1: double of the shingle. Oh you do? Yeah, you get

1267
01:02:59,440 --> 01:03:01,200
Speaker 1: one now and then you get one like and two

1268
01:03:01,200 --> 01:03:05,640
Speaker 1: to six months double shot. Yeah you do. You don't

1269
01:03:05,640 --> 01:03:07,400
Speaker 1: want to get shined. I don't remember being invited to

1270
01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:10,160
Speaker 1: a fifties birthday party for you because with the pandemic.

1271
01:03:10,240 --> 01:03:11,560
Speaker 1: Oh are you going to have one? I think you

1272
01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:14,000
Speaker 1: should have one. It's kind of past now. No, I

1273
01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:17,360
Speaker 1: don't think that Scotty this massive trip for his fiftieth birthday.

1274
01:03:17,360 --> 01:03:19,360
Speaker 1: We couldn't go come to a safari. We're going on

1275
01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:21,520
Speaker 1: safari in August. Here's the last place I want to

1276
01:03:21,520 --> 01:03:24,080
Speaker 1: ever go in my Africa. So no safari and get

1277
01:03:24,080 --> 01:03:26,200
Speaker 1: like some disease. Oh no, you get innoculated. You get

1278
01:03:26,240 --> 01:03:27,480
Speaker 1: all your shots before you go so you don't have

1279
01:03:27,480 --> 01:03:28,760
Speaker 1: to worry about it, and then you just take toxic

1280
01:03:28,800 --> 01:03:31,040
Speaker 1: cycling every day, which I always have. I'd rather turn

1281
01:03:31,080 --> 01:03:35,280
Speaker 1: on National Geographic. Okay, anyway, we are going to take

1282
01:03:35,280 --> 01:03:37,400
Speaker 1: a quick break so you can hear and add and

1283
01:03:37,440 --> 01:03:43,760
Speaker 1: then we'll be right back. Do we have anything else today, Katherine?

1284
01:03:43,880 --> 01:03:46,680
Speaker 1: Or are we wrapping things? We do? Um? We have

1285
01:03:46,880 --> 01:03:52,160
Speaker 1: one more, one more little email if you're up for it. Yes, sure,

1286
01:03:53,120 --> 01:03:55,920
Speaker 1: I'm exhausted giving all this advice. You're giving good advice,

1287
01:03:55,920 --> 01:03:57,480
Speaker 1: so i'd like how you jumping in and that's good.

1288
01:03:57,520 --> 01:04:00,360
Speaker 1: It's very proactive. And this one actually comes with a

1289
01:04:00,400 --> 01:04:03,320
Speaker 1: cute picture. So Chelsea, Ana, you've got one in there.

1290
01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:07,040
Speaker 1: This is from Jenna. Dear Chelsea, I feel as if

1291
01:04:07,040 --> 01:04:10,280
Speaker 1: I'm at a crossroads with my career. I'm currently director

1292
01:04:10,360 --> 01:04:14,560
Speaker 1: at a nonprofit animal rescue in Jackson, Wyoming. I'm twenty

1293
01:04:14,640 --> 01:04:16,840
Speaker 1: nine and have worked in this field for almost five

1294
01:04:16,920 --> 01:04:19,720
Speaker 1: years now. I always thought I would only consider working

1295
01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:22,920
Speaker 1: in the nonprofit sector, especially in the philanthropic community I

1296
01:04:22,960 --> 01:04:25,200
Speaker 1: live in. But I've come to the realization that it

1297
01:04:25,240 --> 01:04:28,160
Speaker 1: will be hard to set myself up financially and pursue

1298
01:04:28,160 --> 01:04:30,680
Speaker 1: the passion behind it. I love my job, but I

1299
01:04:30,720 --> 01:04:32,800
Speaker 1: fear I've reached the ceiling in this job and I

1300
01:04:32,880 --> 01:04:36,760
Speaker 1: don't want to pigeonhole myself in the nonprofit world. I've

1301
01:04:36,760 --> 01:04:38,960
Speaker 1: been looking at other options so I can be comfortable.

1302
01:04:39,480 --> 01:04:41,680
Speaker 1: Do I continue working with my heart on my sleeve

1303
01:04:41,760 --> 01:04:43,720
Speaker 1: and trust that I'll be okay? Or do I jump

1304
01:04:43,800 --> 01:04:46,280
Speaker 1: ship and start over in a different field that will

1305
01:04:46,320 --> 01:04:50,680
Speaker 1: have more financial security. XO XO to you your team

1306
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:54,200
Speaker 1: and Burton Bernice, Jenna and her dog's Gunther and Pepper

1307
01:04:54,280 --> 01:04:59,600
Speaker 1: also say Hi, I mean we both love doggies. Yeah,

1308
01:04:59,640 --> 01:05:02,520
Speaker 1: I know, But it seems like Jenna has already kind

1309
01:05:02,560 --> 01:05:06,280
Speaker 1: of she's seems like she's already pivoting, do you know

1310
01:05:06,280 --> 01:05:08,880
Speaker 1: what I mean? Like she's already in her mind making

1311
01:05:08,920 --> 01:05:11,280
Speaker 1: this decision and wants confirmation to do it. And I

1312
01:05:11,320 --> 01:05:13,720
Speaker 1: would say, twenty nine years old, that is a great

1313
01:05:13,760 --> 01:05:17,360
Speaker 1: time to make a new decision and change career. Just

1314
01:05:17,360 --> 01:05:20,360
Speaker 1: because she's asking what means she's already kind yeah for sure,

1315
01:05:20,520 --> 01:05:22,920
Speaker 1: you know, like the writings on the wall, So I

1316
01:05:22,960 --> 01:05:25,480
Speaker 1: think she just you want your thinking about your future.

1317
01:05:25,560 --> 01:05:28,160
Speaker 1: That's smart. You're twenty nine years old. You have all

1318
01:05:28,160 --> 01:05:30,240
Speaker 1: the time in the world to change careers and try

1319
01:05:30,280 --> 01:05:32,520
Speaker 1: a couple different things, even if one doesn't work out.

1320
01:05:32,840 --> 01:05:35,360
Speaker 1: So I would definitely say, yeah, take a leap of face.

1321
01:05:35,480 --> 01:05:37,360
Speaker 1: And is there like a way to just kind of

1322
01:05:37,680 --> 01:05:39,800
Speaker 1: like go pursue what you want to do and make

1323
01:05:39,840 --> 01:05:41,760
Speaker 1: some money since you need to pay bills and stuff,

1324
01:05:41,800 --> 01:05:44,040
Speaker 1: which I agree with your advice, but can you just

1325
01:05:44,080 --> 01:05:46,640
Speaker 1: go on like a Saturday, like the first Saturday of

1326
01:05:46,680 --> 01:05:49,680
Speaker 1: every month, and go volunteer or something just to fulfill

1327
01:05:49,720 --> 01:05:51,600
Speaker 1: that need. There's a balance, right, We always try to

1328
01:05:51,760 --> 01:05:54,200
Speaker 1: create fine balance in our life. So just because you

1329
01:05:54,200 --> 01:05:55,520
Speaker 1: want something else, that's mean you have to be done

1330
01:05:55,560 --> 01:05:57,520
Speaker 1: with that. And I love these two pictures of the

1331
01:05:57,520 --> 01:05:59,560
Speaker 1: dogs that you sent of Gunther and Pepper. Are they

1332
01:05:59,600 --> 01:06:04,640
Speaker 1: are adorable? Yeah? I want to get another dog. I mean,

1333
01:06:04,880 --> 01:06:07,600
Speaker 1: how are they? Well, they think that my housekeeper is

1334
01:06:07,640 --> 01:06:10,880
Speaker 1: their birth mother and that I'm some slut that comes

1335
01:06:10,920 --> 01:06:14,080
Speaker 1: through the house every three weeks. So I'm sucking over them.

1336
01:06:14,120 --> 01:06:16,320
Speaker 1: But they have been cuter, but they're older. And I

1337
01:06:16,320 --> 01:06:17,680
Speaker 1: think Joe and I are going to get a rescue

1338
01:06:17,720 --> 01:06:21,680
Speaker 1: dog together. That's nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you get on

1339
01:06:21,680 --> 01:06:25,000
Speaker 1: their chow. I love chow mixes, so yeah, I really

1340
01:06:25,040 --> 01:06:26,880
Speaker 1: love chow. I'd like to get a full blown chow,

1341
01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:29,160
Speaker 1: but those are hard to get and you can't, you know,

1342
01:06:29,280 --> 01:06:32,000
Speaker 1: buy a dog when you're a celebrity. Capito will burn

1343
01:06:32,080 --> 01:06:36,439
Speaker 1: your house down, and a flow a full blown chow

1344
01:06:36,680 --> 01:06:39,920
Speaker 1: sounds like a sex act. Well it will be once

1345
01:06:39,960 --> 01:06:44,520
Speaker 1: I get a hold of it. And on that note,

1346
01:06:45,320 --> 01:06:47,520
Speaker 1: I want to thank my friend Shawn Hayes for being

1347
01:06:47,560 --> 01:06:50,960
Speaker 1: with me on my podcast today. Always a fucking delightful

1348
01:06:50,960 --> 01:06:54,400
Speaker 1: pleasure to see you always before we go, Sean, I

1349
01:06:54,440 --> 01:06:56,000
Speaker 1: think you had a piece of advice that you wanted

1350
01:06:56,040 --> 01:06:59,000
Speaker 1: to ask Chelsea. Oh yeah, oh the one you tried

1351
01:06:59,040 --> 01:07:01,080
Speaker 1: to blow the earlier this I have a I wrote

1352
01:07:01,080 --> 01:07:04,640
Speaker 1: down like six, Okay, why don't you pick one? Pick one? So, like,

1353
01:07:04,680 --> 01:07:06,360
Speaker 1: as I was saying at the beginning, you travel so

1354
01:07:06,440 --> 01:07:09,400
Speaker 1: much on tour and you're always, always, always, always going.

1355
01:07:10,080 --> 01:07:13,760
Speaker 1: And whenever I travel, I always eat like ship because

1356
01:07:13,800 --> 01:07:17,280
Speaker 1: I'm at home where my I know where to get

1357
01:07:17,280 --> 01:07:19,120
Speaker 1: the good food. I know how to make myself right

1358
01:07:19,280 --> 01:07:22,640
Speaker 1: with you, know, So you just you're in your zone, right.

1359
01:07:22,840 --> 01:07:25,120
Speaker 1: But it's second I get on a plane and go somewhere,

1360
01:07:25,200 --> 01:07:26,960
Speaker 1: I'm just like, funk it. I'll just have a burger

1361
01:07:27,120 --> 01:07:30,160
Speaker 1: or whatever. So how do you maintain healthy eating when

1362
01:07:30,160 --> 01:07:32,960
Speaker 1: you're traveling. It's so hard. I'm so with you. It

1363
01:07:33,040 --> 01:07:35,160
Speaker 1: is so hard. Yeah, it's really hard, and I'm not

1364
01:07:35,200 --> 01:07:37,840
Speaker 1: great at it. I do lean on a nutritionist because

1365
01:07:37,920 --> 01:07:40,400
Speaker 1: nutritionists are used to dealing with people when they're on

1366
01:07:40,440 --> 01:07:43,280
Speaker 1: the road. So like I have all these prepackaged like

1367
01:07:43,520 --> 01:07:47,120
Speaker 1: epics bars, which are really lean, and I have my housekeeper.

1368
01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:49,240
Speaker 1: She packs me all these like little snack packs, so

1369
01:07:49,280 --> 01:07:52,120
Speaker 1: that I usually try to have only one off meal

1370
01:07:52,240 --> 01:07:54,720
Speaker 1: because it does like lead to a terrible like once

1371
01:07:54,760 --> 01:07:56,480
Speaker 1: you go off, then you go off again, and then

1372
01:07:56,520 --> 01:07:58,600
Speaker 1: you go off again, and then you have sour cream

1373
01:07:58,640 --> 01:08:00,200
Speaker 1: and onion potato chips, and then you're like, I need

1374
01:08:00,240 --> 01:08:02,439
Speaker 1: a Snickers bar, and then I need a diet coke

1375
01:08:02,520 --> 01:08:05,680
Speaker 1: and it's a fucking vicious cycle. So it's really good

1376
01:08:05,680 --> 01:08:08,120
Speaker 1: to get into the habit of prepackaged food that is

1377
01:08:08,200 --> 01:08:10,800
Speaker 1: like healthy, like you can get grass fag or it's

1378
01:08:10,880 --> 01:08:13,560
Speaker 1: going to last you're on tour. No, it is because

1379
01:08:13,560 --> 01:08:15,640
Speaker 1: you come home. I come home every week and then

1380
01:08:15,680 --> 01:08:19,200
Speaker 1: you know, I recon so I always have it on me.

1381
01:08:19,280 --> 01:08:21,599
Speaker 1: I have a little snack pack, has an Epics bar,

1382
01:08:21,680 --> 01:08:24,360
Speaker 1: which is like these grass fed, really lean meat protein bar,

1383
01:08:24,600 --> 01:08:26,920
Speaker 1: and then those my protein bars, the chocolate bars that

1384
01:08:26,960 --> 01:08:29,400
Speaker 1: I like, and then I have like dried fruit and

1385
01:08:29,439 --> 01:08:31,760
Speaker 1: all this stuff that's boring. But I also have these

1386
01:08:31,840 --> 01:08:35,280
Speaker 1: Kiani which is great, like collagen protein packs, so that

1387
01:08:35,320 --> 01:08:37,200
Speaker 1: if I'm really hungry and there's not healthy food and

1388
01:08:37,240 --> 01:08:40,320
Speaker 1: I can't get egg whites or chicken caesar salad or

1389
01:08:40,360 --> 01:08:43,559
Speaker 1: something that's or salmon. I'll have like these little you

1390
01:08:43,560 --> 01:08:46,200
Speaker 1: know what are they called. It's like those little packets

1391
01:08:46,200 --> 01:08:49,280
Speaker 1: that you kind of suck. No, it's not heroin, it's

1392
01:08:49,320 --> 01:08:52,320
Speaker 1: like little uh you just suck a gel pack. Yeah,

1393
01:08:52,400 --> 01:08:55,720
Speaker 1: like all pack. Yeah. Protein. Yeah, it's filled with like

1394
01:08:55,680 --> 01:08:58,000
Speaker 1: a little bit things like five grams of collagen protein

1395
01:08:58,040 --> 01:08:59,960
Speaker 1: to tie me over until I can get something else

1396
01:09:00,160 --> 01:09:02,760
Speaker 1: healthy because you are going through cities where it is

1397
01:09:02,920 --> 01:09:05,360
Speaker 1: it's almost impossible to get decent food. I just found

1398
01:09:05,400 --> 01:09:08,920
Speaker 1: out the nick the title of your next show, Hot

1399
01:09:08,960 --> 01:09:14,320
Speaker 1: Parenting Tips Healthy Chelsea, Healthy Chelsea. Well that just sounds

1400
01:09:14,439 --> 01:09:18,559
Speaker 1: really fucking boring. Um, but yeah, listen, I eat like

1401
01:09:18,600 --> 01:09:20,599
Speaker 1: shipped too. But you know, the one thing I do

1402
01:09:20,680 --> 01:09:22,840
Speaker 1: every single day no matter what is work out. So

1403
01:09:23,120 --> 01:09:28,400
Speaker 1: that keeps up your that keeps your energy high. But

1404
01:09:28,439 --> 01:09:29,840
Speaker 1: you can find a gym. You're never going to stay

1405
01:09:29,840 --> 01:09:31,599
Speaker 1: in a hotel that doesn't have a gym. Every every

1406
01:09:31,600 --> 01:09:34,360
Speaker 1: hotel has a gym. Yeah you know so, but I

1407
01:09:34,680 --> 01:09:38,519
Speaker 1: know it's it's me some weights, like some free weights, yeah,

1408
01:09:38,560 --> 01:09:40,840
Speaker 1: and some bands. You can pack all that ship. Yeah,

1409
01:09:40,960 --> 01:09:42,760
Speaker 1: she won't have a problem with that. I don't see

1410
01:09:42,760 --> 01:09:47,160
Speaker 1: why she would problem solved again. Okay, thanks for thanks

1411
01:09:47,200 --> 01:09:49,080
Speaker 1: for tuning in today, you guys. We'll catch up with

1412
01:09:49,080 --> 01:09:54,000
Speaker 1: you next week. Bye bye, Sean. With regard to my

1413
01:09:54,040 --> 01:09:57,599
Speaker 1: stand up, you guys, I have added or thirty cities,

1414
01:09:57,640 --> 01:10:01,320
Speaker 1: I'm not sure, but cities. We've added Des Moines. We've

1415
01:10:01,360 --> 01:10:05,240
Speaker 1: added your request people, people who requested Louisville, Kentucky. Guess

1416
01:10:05,280 --> 01:10:09,040
Speaker 1: fucking what I'm coming. We've added Montclair, New Jersey. We've

1417
01:10:09,080 --> 01:10:11,360
Speaker 1: added a whole slew of cities. So if you have

1418
01:10:11,520 --> 01:10:15,519
Speaker 1: not gotten your tickets yet, do it Chelsea handler dot com.

1419
01:10:15,640 --> 01:10:20,280
Speaker 1: We just announced thirty more cities, twenty seven or thirty

1420
01:10:20,360 --> 01:10:23,360
Speaker 1: Niagara Falls. I'm talking to you too, so stuck on that.

1421
01:10:23,520 --> 01:10:27,799
Speaker 1: I'll see everybody on tour loving it. Vaccinated in horny