Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio
Speaker 1: and the Black Effects. Hey, y'all, what's up. It's your
Speaker 1: Girl j justs hilarious and carefully Reckless. Ain't going nowhere.
Speaker 1: I just took a little break, but y'all know I
Speaker 1: can't leave y'all high and dry. So we're gonna running
Speaker 1: back and listen to one of the most ranked fan
Speaker 1: favorite episodes. Tune in and hole type and I'll be
Speaker 1: back before you know it. Peace And just like dad,
Speaker 1: we're back on the air. Welcome back to another Carefully
Speaker 1: Reckless episode with your Girl dress hilarious. Now listen, two
Speaker 1: things happened to me in the past week that I
Speaker 1: need to talk to you all about. Alright, grab your
Speaker 1: t grab your halls. It's story time. Okay. So me
Speaker 1: and my homegirl we're at a restaurant, okay, and it's
Speaker 1: five star. It's really nice. It's a couple sitting across
Speaker 1: from us. Now, this is like a dating scene or whatever.
Speaker 1: Or if you want to just get dressed up and
Speaker 1: go out have fun with your home girls, take some
Speaker 1: drinks and ship. This is the place to get dressed
Speaker 1: up for. Like I said, five star restaurants the ambiance
Speaker 1: is beautiful, nothing less than ballroom. Okay, back to the
Speaker 1: couple across from us. Now we see them. They're into
Speaker 1: each other. They're like loving on each other. He's complimenting
Speaker 1: her and we're nosy, so we hear this. She's complimenting
Speaker 1: him back. They're cute. I love it. Little cute, beautiful
Speaker 1: black couple. Now, she had on a beautiful gown. It
Speaker 1: wasn't like you know, giving Taylor Swift like stupid gowns.
Speaker 1: It was given like, oh, I'm a bad bitch. It
Speaker 1: was giving like adult prom like. It was very cute though,
Speaker 1: it's very cute. He had on his nice little fitted suit.
Speaker 1: It was cute without the blazer though. It wasn't like
Speaker 1: giving church like, but it was given like very Kirk
Speaker 1: Franklin is. Now, if y'all know anything about Kirk Franklin,
Speaker 1: y'all know what that man can dress his ass off.
Speaker 1: I love it. So he had his nice little waves
Speaker 1: and she had her cute little weave. They were cute.
Speaker 1: He gets up, he goes to the bathroom. Now, I'm
Speaker 1: a very complimentative woman. I compliment any woman that looks good,
Speaker 1: even if she don't. It's nothing wrong. With uplifting somebody.
Speaker 1: Even if you see a girl and maybe she ain't
Speaker 1: in tip top shape, tell us she's in tip top shape.
Speaker 1: Give us a motivation to go get in tiptop shape,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Whatever I go over to
Speaker 1: I tell her, you look so fucking cute. You and
Speaker 1: your date look great as a whole. Blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: She's like, thank you so much. She's like, you're Jess.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I'm Samantha. She's like you're lying. I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: it's me. It's just and so I walk away or whatever.
Speaker 1: I tell her she looks cute. He comes back, the
Speaker 1: exchange a few words. He never sat down. This man
Speaker 1: got on his knee and he pulled a ring out
Speaker 1: of his little man purse. Now, yes, he did have
Speaker 1: a man purse. He did not walk in there with
Speaker 1: it like carrying it, you know what I'm saying over
Speaker 1: his shoulder, because that would look like tragically stupid. But
Speaker 1: he had a man purse. He pulled a ring box
Speaker 1: out of his man purse right, got on his knee.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about he bent up that slippery earl. Now,
Speaker 1: if you don't know what a slippery, earl is you
Speaker 1: ain't black. It's a church sho But his was cute.
Speaker 1: It was like a cute little doch in gabana church shoe.
Speaker 1: He was. He was very, very cute. He proposed to
Speaker 1: this beautiful girl me and my homegirl was so fucking happy.
Speaker 1: On time. We were screaming, like we was telling other tables,
Speaker 1: alerting them like look, y'all, look, pay attention to y'all.
Speaker 1: He about to propose to her. This is beautiful. So
Speaker 1: now the whole fucking restaurant just about is looking at them,
Speaker 1: and he goes, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, will you
Speaker 1: marry me? Go bitch, I like to just die. I
Speaker 1: pulled out my phone and we recorded everybody recording this ship.
Speaker 1: And she said no. Yeah, she she said no to
Speaker 1: my man's and everybody immediately immediately stopped recording. It was
Speaker 1: not a moment for that. And um, it was very sad,
Speaker 1: i'm gonna say, because the whole restaurant got quiet. It
Speaker 1: was like silence. Not even a fucking cricket was present.
Speaker 1: It was even more awkward than if a cricket would
Speaker 1: be present there. Um, So I just started clapping. I
Speaker 1: was like, well, great, maybe y'all are not ready. And
Speaker 1: he turned around and he noticed who I was, and
Speaker 1: he was like even more embarrassed because he had saw
Speaker 1: me recording. And I was like, I will never post this.
Speaker 1: I will never hurt your feelings or put your business
Speaker 1: out there like that. But here I am today talking
Speaker 1: about it on the podcast, which I think is more
Speaker 1: respectful than posting the video with with a guy proposing
Speaker 1: and a girl saying, now, now listen, that's that story time.
Speaker 1: All right, I got another story I'm gonna get too later,
Speaker 1: but this is what I want to talk to you
Speaker 1: all about. That brings me to my question, is it
Speaker 1: a dale breaker? Is the relationship over when the girl
Speaker 1: says no, or even the guy? But in this case,
Speaker 1: when the girl says no, is the relationship over? I
Speaker 1: don't think it should be for quite a few reasons.
Speaker 1: Now y'all gonna ask me why I know this. Listen,
Speaker 1: I told you they were all for each other. They
Speaker 1: were like loving on each other. Usually these days, you
Speaker 1: go out and you see people on dates, but they're
Speaker 1: in their phones They're not looking at each other, they're
Speaker 1: not playing foot seeds, they're not touching one another anymore
Speaker 1: than I looking into each other's eyes. They were doing
Speaker 1: all of that. Do you understand what I'm saying? They
Speaker 1: were still a beautiful couple, and I can tell that
Speaker 1: they have a lot of love for each other. No,
Speaker 1: I don't know them. I don't know her, don't know
Speaker 1: him from Adam and Eve. But I can tell they
Speaker 1: share a lot of love and a lot of similarities. However,
Speaker 1: they're not on the same page, or she wouldn't have
Speaker 1: said no. That does not mean she does not want
Speaker 1: to be with him. She even cried, she shed a tear,
Speaker 1: she did. But that is a woman who was sure
Speaker 1: of herself that she's not ready to take that step
Speaker 1: to get married. If I had more time, and if
Speaker 1: I had known her, I would have asked her, well,
Speaker 1: why did you say no? Is it because he's not
Speaker 1: ready you you feel like he has more growing up
Speaker 1: to do? Or you guys are not on the same page.
Speaker 1: Is there something that he just did? Is he just
Speaker 1: proposing to make ship right because he just cheated? I
Speaker 1: don't know when I couldn't assume, But what I'm gonna say,
Speaker 1: is the level of attention that they were giving each other.
Speaker 1: It doesn't lead me to believe that they were over
Speaker 1: after that night. She just wasn't ready to get married,
Speaker 1: or maybe she wasn't ready to marry him because she
Speaker 1: didn't think he was ready. There could have been so
Speaker 1: many reasons why she didn't say yes. Maybe marriage is
Speaker 1: not in her future. A lot of people feel like
Speaker 1: they don't need to be married. A lot of people
Speaker 1: may feel like they don't need that contractual agreement because
Speaker 1: marriage is a contract. Yes it is. It's something very
Speaker 1: sacred and it's beyond contracts, but illegally it's an agreement,
Speaker 1: and and you're buying it to a person, and a
Speaker 1: lot of people feel that that's not necessary to be together,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So she could have thought
Speaker 1: that way, but she could be cheating. Let's just say
Speaker 1: that she she just she couldn't know she ain't ship
Speaker 1: and didn't want to take this man's hand in marriage
Speaker 1: because she still got some working on herself to do. Also,
Speaker 1: it could be him, It could be he is just
Speaker 1: not ready. Now. Listen, it takes a lot for a
Speaker 1: guy to get down on his knee and propose. It
Speaker 1: really does. So I'm not gonna say he wasn't ready.
Speaker 1: I can't say that maybe he's not ready to her.
Speaker 1: There are so many factors, so many And when she
Speaker 1: shed that tear, she did tell him that she was sorry,
Speaker 1: and she took his hand and she told him to
Speaker 1: get up, you know, pulled him up, and she kissed
Speaker 1: him and she hugged him. He was piste off as
Speaker 1: a motherfucker. Let me tell you. He turned around when
Speaker 1: he saw me. He was like, yo, like he looks
Speaker 1: so defeated, Like, please don't post that. I'm like, I
Speaker 1: promise her I will not. I will not, But y'all
Speaker 1: look so good. And I want to tell y'all, whatever
Speaker 1: y'all path is, y'all build that ship together, keep it straight.
Speaker 1: Nobody can take her away from you. I don't even
Speaker 1: know that. And can't nobody take you away from her?
Speaker 1: I don't know you know what I'm saying, but those
Speaker 1: are my positive words to them. And they left. I
Speaker 1: don't even think he paid the fucking bill. He was
Speaker 1: so embarrassed. I said I should have paid it for him.
Speaker 1: But brings me to my next question and the carefully
Speaker 1: reckless discussion when is the right time to ask someone
Speaker 1: to marry you? When is the right time to propose? Now,
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people go back and forth
Speaker 1: in their minds or whatever. I don't think you should
Speaker 1: propose if you've never heard your partner talk about marriage. Ever,
Speaker 1: some people just don't have it in their future. Some
Speaker 1: people are just not there yet. Some people just don't
Speaker 1: even think of it. And this looks like a fairly
Speaker 1: young couple, not saying it's it's bad to get married young.
Speaker 1: In some instances it very well is. But they looked
Speaker 1: younger than me. I'm twenty nine, you know I'm and
Speaker 1: I'm a hard twenty nine bitch. Sometimes I look thirty,
Speaker 1: sometimes I look twenty two. Very seldomly do I look
Speaker 1: twenty two. But but so what they look like they
Speaker 1: were like, but they carried themselves very, very maturely. I
Speaker 1: don't think there's ever like there's ever a right time.
Speaker 1: I just think you just have to know there is
Speaker 1: gonna be a thought in your mind, something that comes
Speaker 1: over you where you just know it's a feeling, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, It's like a static that goes
Speaker 1: through you. Has to be it has to be. Nobody
Speaker 1: is just going out buying rings and getting on their
Speaker 1: knees and proposing a bitches. Nobody's just doing that. He
Speaker 1: loved that girl, period, right And if this has happened
Speaker 1: to you, taken to consideration in real time, there are
Speaker 1: issues that won't allow someone to say yes. But does
Speaker 1: that mean a relationship is over? No? No, And then listen,
Speaker 1: you have to understand a lot of people get married
Speaker 1: for the wrong reasons, Like you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: Like I'm not saying everybody, but some people do. Like
Speaker 1: and I spoke about this briefly on another podcast episode,
Speaker 1: like I think it was like the fourth or fifth episode.
Speaker 1: I said, you know, people they get married for the
Speaker 1: look of it. You know what I'm saying. They get
Speaker 1: married because it's tradition or I just want to be
Speaker 1: a wife. People love that label as a wife. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying When you haven't even learned yourself
Speaker 1: as an individual, but you're gonna jump into a marriage
Speaker 1: that could have been that girl's preservation, that could have
Speaker 1: been heard Like you know what, No, I don't even
Speaker 1: know myself. And when I say that you don't know yourself,
Speaker 1: you have to know yourself in and out before you
Speaker 1: are willing to walk down the aisle and become one
Speaker 1: with someone else, because if you know yourself, you know
Speaker 1: what you won't take, and then you have to know
Speaker 1: the other person because you'll know what they won't take.
Speaker 1: It's a very very big step. That's the biggest step
Speaker 1: in a relationship that I say that people take blindly.
Speaker 1: Look at Erica and Safari. I believe that they loved
Speaker 1: the hype. I believe she loved the hype of being married.
Speaker 1: She's always wanted it. She's beautiful. He is a beautiful
Speaker 1: guy too, very beautiful personality, what have you. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. But they hate each other now they
Speaker 1: have two children, or that's at least what they want
Speaker 1: us to believe. Whether it's fake or not, because you
Speaker 1: never know what's real anymore. But they can't stand each
Speaker 1: other on the show online and I don't know, I
Speaker 1: don't know what happens behind closed doors, but what they
Speaker 1: show us is they can't stand each other. Two nights ago,
Speaker 1: Eric ameniz As was with fucking Natalie None at a
Speaker 1: fucking lounge talking about I'm saying, oh, throwing middle fingers up, whatever, whatever,
Speaker 1: you still got two kids with this man. Goofy. He
Speaker 1: still got two kids with this man. You can live, Yes,
Speaker 1: you can, you can live because that they were in
Speaker 1: the comments like, oh, she's speaking from her place and
Speaker 1: she gets upset when we tell her the truth. I
Speaker 1: think the only time she's she's ever accepted the truth
Speaker 1: was from Wendy Williams. But we she hates that. And
Speaker 1: I love Erica, I do, but I just feel like
Speaker 1: she's trying so hard to show him that she can
Speaker 1: move on to that it's reflecting on her poorly, very poorly.
Speaker 1: She's going through it and we know this, we know it.
Speaker 1: But maybe you're gonna be okay, you don't need to
Speaker 1: do all of that, you know what I'm saying. And
Speaker 1: she probably like, bitch minjo business whatever bit. No, you
Speaker 1: put it out there, so it's my business now, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. But you don't want to end
Speaker 1: up like that. So at times you can't just say yes.
Speaker 1: And when everything doesn't properly align, you don't just say yes. Now,
Speaker 1: should she have done it differently with you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. You save him the embarrassment, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, because that could scar him from ever doing
Speaker 1: that ship again if they do make it, which I
Speaker 1: think they will, you know what I'm saying, because they
Speaker 1: willed out holding hands still. You know, even though she led,
Speaker 1: he was very embarrassed. I could scream for him. But
Speaker 1: do you think she should have said yes in the
Speaker 1: restaurant and then got in the car or got at home? Like, look, babe,
Speaker 1: I said yes, but I don't want to do it,
Speaker 1: you know, because a lot of people say yes to
Speaker 1: spare the God's feelings. You know a lot of people
Speaker 1: do that. Now, how would I have done it? I
Speaker 1: would have done it the same way depending on where
Speaker 1: we were. Now, if we were around like his family
Speaker 1: or like my family, or you know, at a party
Speaker 1: where you know, he he invited people that I know
Speaker 1: and all that ship, I would have definitely told him
Speaker 1: no in front of them, just to save all the hype,
Speaker 1: just to save everybody's hopes getting up and ship, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like I I definitely don't want
Speaker 1: to be the barrier of bad news, but I definitely
Speaker 1: don't want to say yes just to be nice. And
Speaker 1: people are taking pictures. I told you we were recording
Speaker 1: that couple. If somebody records me, it's going up anyway,
Speaker 1: it's me ship, Why the funk Whitney record? And they're
Speaker 1: gonna be posting and I say, no, that's gonna be
Speaker 1: the first thing on all the blogs. That is not
Speaker 1: what I want to do. I would never want to
Speaker 1: embarrass my partner, my boyfriend, my my man. I would
Speaker 1: never want to embarrass him like that. So I would
Speaker 1: definitely say, Babe, not yet, not yet, or not yet,
Speaker 1: not even no, just not yet. Even if I don't
Speaker 1: plan to ever marry him, I'm gonna say not yet.
Speaker 1: That's still saving his feelings. But being as honest as
Speaker 1: you can without being disrespectful, being you know, being mean
Speaker 1: about it or coming off mean. You can come off
Speaker 1: very mean and not even be aware of that. You understand.
Speaker 1: So if this has ever ever happened to you, make
Speaker 1: sure you hit me up in the d M or
Speaker 1: the email and tell me about the time. Because I
Speaker 1: want to help people do this ship. There's no just
Speaker 1: fix my mess today. I want to help you all privately.
Speaker 1: I don't want to try to help you all on
Speaker 1: the podcast. You know what I'm saying. Y'all think I
Speaker 1: make fun of everything, and I do, But I will
Speaker 1: gladly help like, do not leave somebody just because they
Speaker 1: said no to your proposal. It could be so many reasons.
Speaker 1: Now listen. Second thing that happened to me this week.
Speaker 1: Hold up, Hold up. I know the ship getting good,
Speaker 1: but listen to just a couple of seconds of a commercial.
Speaker 1: If you love me, you'll listen. I'm dating. I'm dating
Speaker 1: this guy. He's the only one I'm dating at this point.
Speaker 1: It's still in the end, the beginning stages, you know,
Speaker 1: and you know, we're months in, and I kind of
Speaker 1: irritated him a little bit just with my selfishness. And
Speaker 1: sometimes you don't know that you're being selfish. Right, So
Speaker 1: he has this thing going on, I have my thing
Speaker 1: going on. Right, He's forever supporting me. He knows my
Speaker 1: schedule before I even tell him, Like he knows where
Speaker 1: I'm going before I even tell him, because he's involved.
Speaker 1: He is very hands on with me. He pays attention
Speaker 1: to everything. He is a very attentive guy to me,
Speaker 1: and I love it. However, it's not that way vice versa.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. And I was just out
Speaker 1: of town recently. I had to shoot a movie in
Speaker 1: Houston produced by Jamie Fox, and it a returner. Congratulations
Speaker 1: to me, y'all, y'all huh, give me the applause, y'all.
Speaker 1: Much more coming to the screen now. I was on
Speaker 1: set all night, thirteen fourteen hours. Right back here at home.
Speaker 1: He had an event. Now, he's an event planner. He
Speaker 1: that's what he does. So I text him like eleven
Speaker 1: o'clock and they're like, hey, are you home, just to
Speaker 1: see because I hadn't heard from him, you know, in
Speaker 1: a couple of hours. I'm like, okay, hey, you're home.
Speaker 1: You're good because he had checked on me. And then
Speaker 1: I noticed that he stopped texting me. So I'm like, hey,
Speaker 1: you home, like you sleep? What's up? You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, keeping tabs, because that's just what you do.
Speaker 1: You keep tabs on your man when you you know
Speaker 1: when you do that. He faced tim to me two
Speaker 1: hours later and he's like, you didn't know where I was?
Speaker 1: And I was like, no, I thought you were home.
Speaker 1: He was like, I had such and such to do.
Speaker 1: I had this. How did you not know that? And
Speaker 1: I was like I didn't know babies, Like how could
Speaker 1: you not know? Like it's like I'm in your world.
Speaker 1: I'm only in your world. You have no regard for
Speaker 1: what I do. It's like you don't care about what
Speaker 1: I'm doing. But I always care about what you do.
Speaker 1: I always ask you, oh, how is your show? I
Speaker 1: always tell you before you show, you better go kill it.
Speaker 1: I know where you're gonna be. I know what's going on,
Speaker 1: which your schedule. I know everything about your schedule and
Speaker 1: what you do. But you don't know shit. You can't
Speaker 1: keep up with nothing that I do. And it's like
Speaker 1: you don't care, you have no fucking regard. And I
Speaker 1: was like, for a second, who the funk you talking to?
Speaker 1: But then I had to realize, I'm like, this is very,
Speaker 1: very true. And sometimes you have to take a step
Speaker 1: back and you look and you have to see how
Speaker 1: selfish you are. I'm so spoiled, and yes I can
Speaker 1: be very selfish. I'm a very very good person, sweetheart.
Speaker 1: But one thing I do, I do notice, and he
Speaker 1: brought it to my attention. I go to extra mouth
Speaker 1: for you. You don't do that for me. I'm in
Speaker 1: your world, so you have to kind of collide worlds.
Speaker 1: You have to kind like look at it is given.
Speaker 1: Take in fifty fifty. I want how am I going
Speaker 1: to expect this man to love and support everything I
Speaker 1: do when I don't even take the time too and
Speaker 1: it can literally take me ten seconds to learn his
Speaker 1: schedule or to you know, he he does this ship
Speaker 1: all the time. So it's like, y'all, I should know
Speaker 1: this stuff. You know what I'm saying, especially if you're
Speaker 1: seriously dating somebody. Now, if you're not funk, would dat?
Speaker 1: Do you know what I'm saying? If you're just getting
Speaker 1: a dick and you just you know by bone real
Speaker 1: quick and yeah, but serious dating, yes, you have to
Speaker 1: be just as attentive to your partner as you want
Speaker 1: him to be to you. And that goes for the
Speaker 1: guys as well. And after that conversation we were able
Speaker 1: to move on. He didn't hold the grudge. He even
Speaker 1: said a little joke because I was in the chair
Speaker 1: getting my makeup done before I actually went to film
Speaker 1: on said film my scene. He's very understanding. So that
Speaker 1: brings me back to the first topic. Marriage. Don't relate
Speaker 1: it to me right now. Yes, I want to get married,
Speaker 1: but that's not in my plans right now. Listen, right now,
Speaker 1: I'm just dating, so shut up. You have to know
Speaker 1: someone inside and out. You have to learn how to
Speaker 1: be selfless. You have to make a lot of sacrifices
Speaker 1: and compromise to get to that point where you say
Speaker 1: yes wholeheartedly when you're being proposed to. That goes for
Speaker 1: men and women, and I want y'all to take that
Speaker 1: with y'all if y'all didn't take anything else. You have
Speaker 1: to be mindful of the partner of who you are with,
Speaker 1: because if you jump into it, you're gonna jump right
Speaker 1: out of it. You're gonna wish you never did. And
Speaker 1: nobody wants to get married just to get divorced, So
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean it's over if she says no, and
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean it's over if he says no. I
Speaker 1: love you, guys, because I know y'all love me. Tune
Speaker 1: in next Wednesday, every hump Day, and then my deepest
Speaker 1: paying voice, clad Sti