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Speaker 1: It's time now for my Strawberry Letter for today, and

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Speaker 1: if you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,

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Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry letters STEVEVARVFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your

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Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to

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Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now, and you never know,

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Speaker 1: it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buck love and hold on type.

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Speaker 2: We got it for you here it is strawberry leta all.

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Speaker 1: Right, nephew, thank you subject. How could he be so

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Speaker 1: cold hearted? Here? Stephen Shirley, I was married for almost

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Speaker 1: twenty years. When our daughter was twelve, my husband jokingly

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Speaker 1: told his brother that he was only staying in the

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Speaker 1: marriage until our daughter graduates. He said it in front

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Speaker 1: of me, and I agree with him, thinking it was

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Speaker 1: a joke because we had all been drinking and making

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Speaker 1: digs at each other.

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Speaker 3: He wasn't joking, though.

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Speaker 1: When our daughter turned nineteen, my husband told me that

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Speaker 1: he wanted a divorce. He planned to move to Canada

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Speaker 1: or somewhere where he could have a simpler life. I

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Speaker 1: asked him if it was something I did, and he

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Speaker 1: told me that I had been a perfect wife and mother,

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Speaker 1: but he had to go live his life on his

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Speaker 1: own terms.

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Speaker 3: I went through his.

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Speaker 1: Phone, his emails, his credit card statements, and I did

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Speaker 1: not find any evidence of him having a woman on

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Speaker 1: the side. He told me that he never put my

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Speaker 1: name on the mortgage after our wedding, but I could

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Speaker 1: stay in the house because it's where our child grew up.

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Speaker 1: We got a quick, non contested divorce because if he

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Speaker 1: didn't want to be with me, I certainly didn't want

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Speaker 1: to be with him. I was hurt and the divorce

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Speaker 1: put me in a financial bind. Then things got worse.

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Speaker 1: He didn't leave the country, He just moved to another county.

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Speaker 1: He sent me a long email telling me that he

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Speaker 1: wants his house back, and he gave me a deadline

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Speaker 1: to get out. He said he is a new woman

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Speaker 1: and she will be living in the house with him.

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Speaker 1: I don't have anywhere to go, and I have no

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Speaker 1: legal rights to stay. Why would he lie saying he

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Speaker 1: was and he wasn't leaving me for someone else if

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Speaker 1: he had someone else all along. I can't afford to move,

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Speaker 1: but my attorney said I have to. Is it worth

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Speaker 1: to try? Worth it to try and talk to him?

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Speaker 1: How could he be so cold hearted? Uh, you know what,

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Speaker 1: I'm just sorry this is happening to you. I really am. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 1: there are just some low down, ugly, horrible people in

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Speaker 1: this world and that's just what it is. And I

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Speaker 1: know this firsthand. So I'm going to say, drawing from

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Speaker 1: my own experience, this, all I can tell you is

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Speaker 1: that as hard as it is for you right now,

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Speaker 1: you can get through this. First, you do have to

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Speaker 1: get out of the house. The house is not in

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Speaker 1: your name. There's nothing you can do about it. The

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Speaker 1: law is on his side. Your attorney even told you that,

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Speaker 1: so you got to let him have that. You have

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Speaker 1: to start working to rebuild your own life. This is

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Speaker 1: not the end, This is the beginning for you, if

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Speaker 1: you look at it that way. You got to get

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Speaker 1: a loyal support system of friends and family you and

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Speaker 1: just start putting the pieces of your life back together

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Speaker 1: little by little. I mean I had to stay with

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Speaker 1: friends so I could save money to get my own place.

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Speaker 1: I will tell you that going through something like this,

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Speaker 1: you will truly see who your real friends are. Your

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Speaker 1: writer dies will be there for you. The others were

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Speaker 1: only there for the good times obviously, so your life

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Speaker 1: isn't over. It's just changed in a major way, and

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Speaker 1: you have to make the necessary adjustments you do. I

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Speaker 1: know this hurts. I know it's humiliating all of that.

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Speaker 1: For whatever reason. We don't know why he left you.

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Speaker 1: We don't know we know what he told you. But

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Speaker 1: right now it doesn't even matter because this is no

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Speaker 1: longer about him. You can't let this be about him.

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Speaker 1: This is about you now and how you're gonna make

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Speaker 1: beauty from these ashes he left. You can do it,

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Speaker 1: trust me, you can do it. God's got you. You

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Speaker 1: just got to start, Steve.

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Speaker 3: One of the best answers Shirley has ever given to me.

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Speaker 4: She used herself as an example. She drew on her

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Speaker 4: own life experiences. That's what it's about. What she told you.

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Speaker 4: Everything was one hundred percent troth. I can't dispute nothing.

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Speaker 4: I can just give you another way to look at it.

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Speaker 4: That's all I could do. But Shirley covered all the bases.

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Speaker 4: Stop tripping. How could he be so cold hearted?

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Speaker 3: He is Okay, he is. He is what he is.

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Speaker 4: That's not going to change. Your daughter was twelve. Your

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Speaker 4: husband jokingly told his brother stay in his marriage till

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Speaker 4: at nineteen you had been drinking. You agreed with him.

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Speaker 4: She turned nineteen and graduated. Guess what he told you.

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Speaker 4: He wanted a divorce and he had planned to move

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Speaker 4: to Canada or somewhere where you can have a simpler life.

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Speaker 3: I asked him if something I did. He said, no,

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Speaker 3: use perfect mother in.

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Speaker 4: A perfect okay, but he wanted to live his life

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Speaker 4: on his own terms. Then you went through all of

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Speaker 4: his stuff, his phones, his contents, his emails, his messages,

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Speaker 4: his credit card statements, and you found no evidence that

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Speaker 4: there was another woman. And he said that you all

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Speaker 4: you could keep the house because that's where your child

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Speaker 4: grew up. And y'all got a quick, non contested divorce

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Speaker 4: because if he didn't want to be with me, I

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Speaker 4: certainly didn't want to be with him. I was hurt

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Speaker 4: and the divorce put me in a financial mind.

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Speaker 3: You say, then it got worse.

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Speaker 4: He didn't lead a country, He just moved to another county.

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Speaker 3: Lord, have mercy.

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Speaker 4: Ain't that beautiful? He didn't lead a country, he moved

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Speaker 4: to another county. That this is gonna work out just good.

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Speaker 4: So when we come back, what I will explain to

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Speaker 4: you is what this means for you and all you

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Speaker 4: have to do is understand. Just do what Shirley said

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Speaker 4: for startings, Let's get that through your head. What Shirley

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Speaker 4: said is best. But you got to understand something now

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Speaker 4: based on what we're gonna say when we come back.

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Speaker 4: It ain't really nothing you can do. You ain't got

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Speaker 4: no legal rights in the house. He didne told you

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Speaker 4: you got to get out that house because he fel

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Speaker 4: have moved back here with this woman. Oh now you're

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Speaker 4: trying to figure out if he had a woman all

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Speaker 4: the time, why he tell What diff was it make?

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Speaker 3: You got to devoce. Y'all ain't even married right now.

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Speaker 4: If he had somebody that got somebody you didn't find

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Speaker 4: no evidence, what difference do it make? He done called

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Speaker 4: you and told you now he got somebody. He felt

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Speaker 4: comfortable telling you that because y'all ain't married.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Steve, stop right there.

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Speaker 3: We'll have part two of your.

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Speaker 1: Response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour

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Speaker 1: today's Strawberry Letters subject how could he be so cold hearted?

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Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening

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Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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Speaker 1: All right, come on, Steve. Let's recap today's strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: The subject is how could he be so cold hearted?

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Speaker 3: Oh, here's a woman that was married to this man.

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Speaker 4: He told her when the daughter graduated as a joke

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Speaker 4: when she was twelve, they was gonna get a divorce.

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Speaker 3: She was drinking. She agreed with it.

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Speaker 4: Well, when the girl graduated, he asked for a divorce.

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Speaker 4: She was surprised. He said, it wasn't her. You've been

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Speaker 4: a perfect wife and perfect mother.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 4: Hey, look, I'm just gonna go live my best life.

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Speaker 4: I don't want to be married no more. I'm gonna

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Speaker 4: go to Canada or something.

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Speaker 3: She said.

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Speaker 4: Well, since he don't want to be with her, she

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Speaker 4: don't want to be with him. So they got a

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Speaker 4: quick divorce. He let her stay in the house because

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Speaker 4: that's where she raised the kids at. But the house

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Speaker 4: he never put her name on the mortgage, so he

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Speaker 4: kept the house in his name. Fast forward months later,

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Speaker 4: after the divorce is over with she got she he

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Speaker 4: liveing here. He sends her an email to saying, Hey,

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Speaker 4: I want the house back. Here's a date I want

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Speaker 4: you to be out by. Now I met this woman.

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Speaker 4: We gonna come live there and thank you for everything.

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Speaker 4: But this what it is.

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Speaker 3: Now.

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Speaker 4: She thought in the beginning that there was a woman involved,

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Speaker 4: so she went through all his emails, contacts, messages, credit card,

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Speaker 4: but she saw no signs of a woman. But now

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Speaker 4: he comes back and then he says, I got this woman.

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Speaker 4: We're gonna move into the house. And he didn't really

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Speaker 4: move to out the country. He moved to another county,

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Speaker 4: so he didn't go to he didn't go to Canada.

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Speaker 4: He just would just move to Carson. And so now

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Speaker 4: she tripping because now she trying to figure out where

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Speaker 4: this woman come from. And I don't have nowhere to go,

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Speaker 4: and I ain't got no need legal rights to stay.

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Speaker 3: Now her question is why would he lie.

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Speaker 4: Saying he wasn't leaving me for someone else, if he

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Speaker 4: had someone else all along, Well, you did your research

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Speaker 4: and he didn't have nobody. That don't mean he had nobody.

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Speaker 4: He could have just got somebody. But what difference do

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Speaker 4: it make? Y'all are divorced, You got a divorce, so

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Speaker 4: what difference does it make if he had somebody else

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Speaker 4: all along? I can't afford to move, but my attorney

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Speaker 4: said I have to because you have no legal rights.

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Speaker 4: Is it worth it to try to talk to him?

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Speaker 4: And how could my ex be so cold hearted? Okay,

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Speaker 4: when you talk to him, what are you gonna say?

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Speaker 4: What you want to talk about? He got somebody else?

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Speaker 4: He's so cool with to somebody else. He then told

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Speaker 4: you he got somebody else and he want that house

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Speaker 4: because him and that somebody else, Finn, go live there.

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Speaker 4: He told you that. What could you tell? How could

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Speaker 4: he be so cold hearted? It's just life all you

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Speaker 4: have to do.

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Speaker 3: Listen to me. Listen to me.

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Speaker 4: Had you taken care of your business and had your

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Speaker 4: name on the documents and done the divorce right, even

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Speaker 4: if your name wasn't on the document when you got

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Speaker 4: the divorce, you would have been.

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Speaker 3: Entitled to it because y'all was married.

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Speaker 4: But you got the divorce and signed all that away,

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Speaker 4: so now you have no legal rights. All you really

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Speaker 4: have to do is move so that you can't afford

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Speaker 4: to move, Yeah, you have to, Shirley said it best.

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Speaker 4: You may have to go stay with a friend, get

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Speaker 4: your money together. You know, it's a little bit embarrassing,

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Speaker 4: but hey, it's life.

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Speaker 3: You can recover, and.

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Speaker 4: This is a fine chance for you to get somebody

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Speaker 4: that wants you. He already got somebody want him. Stop

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Speaker 4: wallowing in the mud when somebody in the words my

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Speaker 4: favorite quote Judge Lynn told her said her grandmama told her,

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Speaker 4: don't let her in. Have to tell you twice he

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Speaker 4: don't want you. Now, it's clear he got to divorce

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Speaker 4: as soon as your daughter graduated. He told you in

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Speaker 4: he moved out.

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Speaker 3: He told you in. He called you and told you

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Speaker 3: you got to move out. He told you that, He.

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Speaker 4: Told you he got somebody knew and they finn move in.

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Speaker 4: He told you that. How much more information you need?

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Speaker 4: Why do you want to talk.

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Speaker 3: To this man? It's nothing to talk about. You will

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Speaker 3: be fine. As a matter of fact, you'll really be fine. Earth.

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Speaker 4: Stop depending on somebody. Stop expecting somebody to take care

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Speaker 4: of you. He got somebody else to take care of.

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Speaker 4: He can't take care of two women. He ain't got

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Speaker 4: that kind of money. You got to get out that house.

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Speaker 4: He probably said something to the new girl. She said, well,

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Speaker 4: I thought you had a house. Yeah I do, but

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Speaker 4: I let my exife, so she gonna just stay in

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Speaker 4: that house.

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Speaker 3: Ain't at your house? Why don't you get your house back?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: You right, he'll Claia Claire, that's how you talk. What

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Speaker 3: old is? Listen to me, Clara, I was, I was,

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Speaker 3: I was.

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Speaker 4: I was talking to this new girl I got Jereddine,

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Speaker 4: and Jerdine reminded me of something that that's my house

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Speaker 4: and that she thinks all they be living in my house?

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Speaker 3: And I told Jerdine, where you know? You're right?

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Speaker 4: Well, wait a minute, who is Jereddine? Claude, Listen to me, Claudie,

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Speaker 4: listen to me. I just met her. Now you probably

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Speaker 4: had her before. I didn't had nobody. I just met her.

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Speaker 4: And what differ do make we divorced? You got to

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Speaker 4: get out, you got you got forty five days to

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Speaker 4: get out. And don't be punching no holes in the

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Speaker 4: wall doing that on nasty stuff. Don't mean, no ripping

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Speaker 4: out the falsett and you know, kicking out the screen

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Speaker 4: doors in store.

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Speaker 3: Just get out clean so I can have my house

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Speaker 3: back with me and Jordine. We gotta make us a life.

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Speaker 1: Talk.

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Speaker 3: I'm finna call your mama, Old Debt and see what

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Speaker 3: she thinks all this. And I don't like his name.

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Speaker 4: Well, my mama, Old Debt had already told me you

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Speaker 4: don't need to be staying in that house all right.

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Speaker 1: Today Strawberry Letter at Steve harb FM on Instagram and Facebook,

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Speaker 1: and check out the Strawberry Letter podcall.

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Speaker 3: Oart Radio at Never Sounded So good. Download it.

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Speaker 1: Today you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show