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Speaker 1: Buckle up and hold on time the subject. They don't

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Speaker 1: make them like they used to. Dear Stephen Shirley, I

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Speaker 1: want your honest opinions. I'm young, and I have a

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Speaker 1: great job, my own place, and I'm happily single for now.

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Speaker 1: Here's my issue. I don't think a strong, independent woman

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Speaker 1: should stand by a broke man or wait for him

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Speaker 1: to reach his full potential. People always say I should

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Speaker 1: not overlook a man that falls short financially, but I

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Speaker 1: prefer to remain strong because I am not afraid of

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Speaker 1: being alone. So many women go through the emotional struggles

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Speaker 1: of being with a man just to say they have

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Speaker 1: a man. So is it selfish for me to live

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Speaker 1: my own life and continue to pray for the man

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Speaker 1: that God will send to me. I understand that men

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Speaker 1: are natural hunters, so once they see what they want,

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Speaker 1: they will keep pressing for it. How do I know

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Speaker 1: that a man's intentions are genuine and he's not looking

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Speaker 1: for the come up? What if he's a really great

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Speaker 1: guy but he's living check to check. I have been

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Speaker 1: in these types of relationships before, and they each ended

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Speaker 1: up as a waste of time and energy. Don't get

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Speaker 1: me wrong, I've been broke before, so I'm not doubting

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Speaker 1: anyone now that I'm doing much better and I'm able

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Speaker 1: to take care of myself. If it's bad that I

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Speaker 1: don't settle for half a man just to say I

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Speaker 1: have a man, seems like more men are looking for

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Speaker 1: someone to take care of them now. I'm not bashing

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Speaker 1: all men, but what's really going on nowadays? Well, I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know, you're perfectly, of course, within your rights to

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Speaker 1: feel how you feel. You said you're not bashing all men.

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Speaker 1: You're just, you know, talking about the kind of men

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Speaker 1: that you don't want, which is a good thing. I

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Speaker 1: think you know what you do want. Uh. You you

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Speaker 1: say you've been broke before. You're not downing anyone you

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Speaker 1: want to be with someone you don't want to settle.

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Speaker 1: I think that's perfectly fine. You shouldn't settle. You shouldn't settle.

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Speaker 1: If you're truly praying for the man that God wants

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Speaker 1: to send to you, then that's what you should be

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Speaker 1: open to. Uh. You'll know when it's a man that

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Speaker 1: God sends, God sent for you, because he'll be a

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Speaker 1: godly man. Uh. Yeah, men are natural hunters. Steve used

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Speaker 1: to talk about that on the show all the time. Uh,

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Speaker 1: but I think what you need to stay close to

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Speaker 1: is what you're praying for, is you're praying for God

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Speaker 1: to send you the man that you want. But just

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Speaker 1: make sure you're everything. You know, make sure your whole

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Speaker 1: and uh, you know, you're a good person and you're

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Speaker 1: a good woman. You have something to offer the world

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Speaker 1: and a man. Okay, don't just look for a man

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Speaker 1: to come and and make you whole. Already be whole. Okay,

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Speaker 1: It's okay for you to be strong and independent and

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Speaker 1: all of that stuff. Just you know, if you're really

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Speaker 1: praying for God to send you a man, just wait

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Speaker 1: for that, all right, Steve, Well, this is a weird

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Speaker 1: letter because she's saying a couple of things. Uh. First

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Speaker 1: of all, I wish I knew how old she was,

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Speaker 1: because this has a lot to do with it. Now.

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Speaker 1: You know, if you don't think that a strong, independent

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Speaker 1: woman should stand by a broke man or wait for

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Speaker 1: him to reach his full potential, then you feel that way.

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Speaker 1: But let me say tell you something you're saying a

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Speaker 1: broke man. You said you've been in relationships with people

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Speaker 1: who live check to check. Let me say something to you.

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Speaker 1: The majority of people are living check to check, that's

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Speaker 1: a financial fact. Check to check don't mean you're broke.

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Speaker 1: It means you're in a situation where in three checks

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Speaker 1: you could be completely out. Well, most people live that

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Speaker 1: way until they pull it together. If you're looking for

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Speaker 1: a man that's already made, what you haven't said directly

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Speaker 1: in this letter, but what appears to me that you've

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Speaker 1: said in this letter that you want somebody that's already made,

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Speaker 1: then get in line, because that line is gonna be long.

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Speaker 1: And if you're young, there are men who are in

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Speaker 1: the building process. It takes men uh some time to

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Speaker 1: pull themselves together. It just does a man that's in

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Speaker 1: their twenties. It's gonna be hard to find a guy

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Speaker 1: that has it together in his twenties. It's going to

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Speaker 1: be hard because that's the learning phase of life. So, ma'am,

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Speaker 1: you've said quite a lot in this letter. Now, is

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Speaker 1: it true to some men are looking to be taken

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Speaker 1: care of? Yep, yep, that's true. They're easy to spot

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Speaker 1: because they're looking to be taken care of. They don't

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Speaker 1: want to pay for the dinners. They don't want to

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Speaker 1: pay to take you out. They ain't looking to sponsoring

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Speaker 1: no trips, they ain't looking at Okay, what you know,

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Speaker 1: what are you talking about now? For guys living check

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Speaker 1: the check and trips ain't really available right now maybe

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Speaker 1: once a year. But he's doing everything else he can

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Speaker 1: that me and do. Then you might have a good

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Speaker 1: prospect that you're passing on because he's not made yet

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Speaker 1: men who have means. Just because a man got money

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Speaker 1: don't make him a good man. Oh true? Oh did

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Speaker 1: I just say that just because a man gotten money

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Speaker 1: don't make him a good man. So now you can

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Speaker 1: pass up on these other men who may have better

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Speaker 1: qualities and less funds, and go for the funds and

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Speaker 1: get the less quality man. Also, you said you're asking

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Speaker 1: God to send you a man if that's the case,

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Speaker 1: wants the letter fall. See this is how I read

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Speaker 1: letters as Sherley's right about several things. She said it

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Speaker 1: in her comment to you about it. Now, look, you

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Speaker 1: you can be by yourself, but who really want to

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Speaker 1: be by the self? Though? I mean, let's just have

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Speaker 1: an honest converse. Put your hand down. Other than his

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Speaker 1: bitter as evil, distraught old ass, don't know, ran over

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Speaker 1: used and abused guy like that? Other than that, who

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Speaker 1: don't want to be alone. Everybody wants somebody. Then you say,

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Speaker 1: how do I know that the man's intentions are genuine

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Speaker 1: and he's not looking for the come up? Like I

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Speaker 1: told you, it's easy, he gonna want a lot of stuff.

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Speaker 1: What if he's a really great guy but he's living

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Speaker 1: check to check. If I were you, I was signed

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Speaker 1: up for that because that really great guy hard to

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Speaker 1: come by. He ain't gonna always be living check to check. Now,

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Speaker 1: great guys turn it around eventually. Great guys become great men,

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Speaker 1: become great father, has become great husband. Money don't determine

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Speaker 1: none of that. Am I preaching today? Yes, you are

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Speaker 1: a man, a man, amen, and you can preach the

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Speaker 1: more Part two of your sermon coming up. Come on,

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Speaker 1: let's get to part two of your response to today's

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Speaker 1: strawberry letter. They don't make them like they used to.

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Speaker 1: You know, I was talking about this young lady who

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Speaker 1: sayings too many contradictory things in her letter about coming up.

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Speaker 1: She's talking about, Uh, you know, majority of people living

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Speaker 1: check to check something and are looking to be taking care. Uh.

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Speaker 1: I told her to the man that has money, don't

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Speaker 1: make him a good man. Uh, you're gonna have to

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Speaker 1: would should out take a man who's living check the check,

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Speaker 1: but it has great qualities. Yeah, because he's on the

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Speaker 1: come up. It takes a long time for men to

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Speaker 1: get it together. And on the break, I was reading

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Speaker 1: another line. She said that was quite contradictory. She said,

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Speaker 1: don't get me wrong, I've been broke before, so I'm

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Speaker 1: not downing anyone. Okay, you got that line. Surely, don't

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Speaker 1: get me wrong. I've been broke before, so I'm not

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Speaker 1: downing anyone. Then she said, now that I'm doing much

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Speaker 1: better and I'm able to take care of myself, here's

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Speaker 1: the contradiction. Is it bad if I don't settle for

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Speaker 1: a half a man just to say I have a man? Now?

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Speaker 1: You just said you've been broke before, so you're not

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Speaker 1: down in anyone. Now you're telling me because if a

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Speaker 1: man don't have his finances together, that he's half a man. Sister,

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Speaker 1: let me let me, let me let me help you

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Speaker 1: understand something. You are setting yourself up for contradictory life.

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Speaker 1: A man's money has nothing to do with his level

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Speaker 1: of manhood. Some of the best men I know and

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Speaker 1: have known in my life have far less than I

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Speaker 1: have right now, but I have the utmost respect for them,

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Speaker 1: love and admiration. I am constantly in a quest to

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Speaker 1: become my father all day. I'm just trying to be

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Speaker 1: slick Harvey, That's all. I'm trying to be the hardest

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Speaker 1: working man I ever knew, the best husband, and the

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Speaker 1: best father I've ever seen. This dude was there. He

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Speaker 1: didn't miss a beat. He didn't miss a beat. That's

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Speaker 1: all I'm trying to be. My dad ain't had a

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Speaker 1: tenth of the money I got, but he's the best

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Speaker 1: example a man who that I ever saw. So, Sister,

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Speaker 1: I think you're wrong, and I think you got to

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Speaker 1: make an attitude adjustment. Now you're saying something in the

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Speaker 1: letter about um, so is it selfish for me to

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Speaker 1: live my own life and continue to pray for the

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Speaker 1: man that God will send to me. Suppose God sends

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Speaker 1: you this really great man who's living. Check to check

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Speaker 1: that the church, say man man again, because I just

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Speaker 1: can't knock these cats that don't have it financially together.

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Speaker 1: Because I gotta tell you something, I was once that

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Speaker 1: I was that dude. I lived in a car for

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Speaker 1: three years. Man. I'm pretty sure man, I met a

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Speaker 1: couple of girls while I lived in a car. They

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Speaker 1: ain't see the potential. I ain't blame him, and she

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Speaker 1: wouldn't have been in there with you for sure. Oh no, man,

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Speaker 1: I ain't asked nobody to come get in this car

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Speaker 1: with me. I knew I wasn't a good catch, but

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Speaker 1: I hung in there. I just kept hanging in there.

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Speaker 1: These men gonna eventually get it together. Good men become

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Speaker 1: good husbands, become good fathers. You gotta miss out on

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Speaker 1: a good husband and a good father because he don't

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Speaker 1: have a good check right now. But if he were

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Speaker 1: working and got a plan and putting it together, that's

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Speaker 1: called potential. And yeah, you should marry potential, and yeah

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Speaker 1: you should hook up with potential because y'all can build

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Speaker 1: something together. Everybody would love to meet Mr rich Man

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Speaker 1: and go on and get their life made right off.

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Speaker 1: But themn them numbers is few. So listen to me, ladies.

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Speaker 1: It is already hard to find a good man. Now

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Speaker 1: you're gonna narrow the search to a good rich man.

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Speaker 1: What why that only five percent? Here's a rate? Okay?

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Speaker 1: Can I preach now? Yes, sir, five percent of people

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Speaker 1: make nine of the money in the world. Five percent

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Speaker 1: make nine of the world. So now you want what

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Speaker 1: you cannot be looking for one of them five percenters.

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Speaker 1: You know what kind of options they got, Kay want

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Speaker 1: a shop? Do you understand me? They're shopping how they

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Speaker 1: want to shop. They got options. Don't put yourself in

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Speaker 1: that position. Find you a good man with some great potential,

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Speaker 1: and y'all going and build a life together. Stop looking

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Speaker 1: for these rich dudes, because you ain't the only one.

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Speaker 1: That line is long, and they take advantage of the

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Speaker 1: long lines. They interview a lot of people, Yes, and

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Speaker 1: they're not that long. Thank you for the Strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: If you have a letter, or condition or situation that

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Speaker 1: you would like some help with, please send it to

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Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FL dot com dot com, Steve Harvey FM

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Speaker 1: dot com and we could be reading, dissecting, and helping

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Speaker 1: your life. All we could make a complete mockery of

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Speaker 1: your letter. Yesterday. Yeah, yesterday was a today with some

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Speaker 1: serious help right here for women in needs. Thank you

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Speaker 1: very much. Those are my remarks of the strawberry. Let

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Speaker 1: you have a condition, then a ligature, a cipher natic

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Speaker 1: alpor dimical silas. I like that cerna cipher natic. You

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, or you don't hear me. Not

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Speaker 1: you're listening to show