1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:02,080 Speaker 1: This is the scary part of your question. This is 2 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:08,879 Speaker 1: scary if you have to ask me, after eight years, 3 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,640 Speaker 1: how do I know when the right time to get 4 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:15,920 Speaker 1: married is. I would say, if you have to ask, 5 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:30,960 Speaker 1: maybe she's not the right one. Hey, everybody, welcome to 6 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,680 Speaker 1: the podcast, episode one hundred and sixty four. Thanks for 7 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:36,880 Speaker 1: being here. I answer your questions. That's what I do here. 8 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:38,920 Speaker 1: You could ask me anything you want. It could be 9 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:43,080 Speaker 1: about any topic anything. Really, I mean, we've seen the 10 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:46,479 Speaker 1: entire gambit of what these questions could be. You email 11 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:52,000 Speaker 1: me Granger Smith Podcast at gmail dot com, and then 12 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,080 Speaker 1: we'll put it in a queue. I don't have notes, 13 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:57,400 Speaker 1: nothing in front of me, and I'm completely reading these 14 00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:00,400 Speaker 1: at random, so I don't know. I haven't prepared for this. 15 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: I don't know what we're about to get into. Let's 16 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:07,400 Speaker 1: find out. First email here on the list, subject cline 17 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:10,880 Speaker 1: says job, and the email says, Hey, Granger, my name 18 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:14,800 Speaker 1: is Wesley. I'm from Pennsylvania currently working for my dad 19 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:17,560 Speaker 1: at a garden center. I do not like it. I 20 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: recently got into photography and want to quit the garden 21 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:27,000 Speaker 1: center and start photography full time. What should I do? Hey, Wesley, 22 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:32,679 Speaker 1: thanks for emailing brother shout out to Pennsylvania. This email 23 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:37,680 Speaker 1: is really short, and yet you're saying so much with 24 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:41,160 Speaker 1: so few words to me. First of all, let's look 25 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 1: at this. You're working for your dad, so there's a 26 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:48,120 Speaker 1: dynamic there, right, Like there's already something going on with 27 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 1: your dad. And then the second thing is you recently 28 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:55,559 Speaker 1: got into photography. It's funny that you put that word 29 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 1: recently in there, and yet you already want to quit 30 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:02,760 Speaker 1: working for your dad and go full time photography. That's 31 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:09,680 Speaker 1: that's so interesting. Let me dive into this a little bit. Okay, sometimes, 32 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:14,160 Speaker 1: maybe a lot of times, we take this phrase that 33 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:18,960 Speaker 1: our society tells us follow your dreams, and we take 34 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:22,880 Speaker 1: that too an extreme, and we we use the phrase 35 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 1: follow your dreams as a cop out for living life 36 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:31,840 Speaker 1: the way we need to be living it right now today. 37 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:36,919 Speaker 1: So it's like, you don't like something, something makes you uncomfortable, 38 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 1: something is too hard of work, something is too boring, 39 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:43,400 Speaker 1: and so you just kind of blanket over with this 40 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 1: phrase I should be following my dreams, and you're like, 41 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 1: what are my dreams? And you're like, well, recently I 42 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:53,519 Speaker 1: got into photography. That's a dream. Yeah, that's what you 43 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,040 Speaker 1: watch enough Instagram and you think to yourself, see, I 44 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:59,160 Speaker 1: should be following my dreams like all these other people 45 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:01,960 Speaker 1: on Instagram. That's what I should do. I don't want 46 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:04,440 Speaker 1: to work for dad at the garden center. Hey, let 47 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:07,240 Speaker 1: me let leslie. Let me just say this. Not a 48 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:08,720 Speaker 1: lot of people want to work for their dad at 49 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,960 Speaker 1: the garden center. But it's not about what you want. 50 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 1: It's about what you need to be doing right now. 51 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,960 Speaker 1: It's a responsible thing to be doing. That's the most 52 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,000 Speaker 1: unpopular thing I could say on a podcast, to do 53 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 1: the responsible thing. But let's lay it out practically. Okay, 54 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:25,280 Speaker 1: let's look at this. Let's lay it all on the 55 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:32,840 Speaker 1: table here. Photography costs money. Equipment cost money, Your bills 56 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:37,960 Speaker 1: cost money. Right now, your photography business isn't making anything 57 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:42,680 Speaker 1: because you're gonna start from scratch. So back up from 58 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,360 Speaker 1: there and go, okay, well, the garden center is making 59 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 1: some cash. So I'm gonna put away a certain amount 60 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,800 Speaker 1: of money from the garden center job, and I'm gonna 61 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 1: start saving up, and I'm gonna have a goal for 62 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 1: a certain camera that I need, maybe a certain light 63 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:59,640 Speaker 1: that I need to get this thing going. In the meantime, 64 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:04,280 Speaker 1: I'm gonna start working for free photography to get my 65 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:07,840 Speaker 1: name out there. I'm gonna offer my services to people 66 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:12,200 Speaker 1: for free, and that's gonna help me build a portfolio, 67 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:16,560 Speaker 1: preferably online on social media. You're gonna build this portfolio 68 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,520 Speaker 1: of what you do. You're gonna build this reputation of 69 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,320 Speaker 1: your good work. You're gonna maybe take some classes on 70 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:25,360 Speaker 1: how to get better. You're gonna be mentored by different people. 71 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,760 Speaker 1: This is a long process. You gonna be a full 72 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:32,320 Speaker 1: time photographer. Do you know what's at stake for that? 73 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:35,159 Speaker 1: You know how hard of work and how much talent 74 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,719 Speaker 1: and how much money you have to have saved to 75 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:42,320 Speaker 1: do that? You're not ready? How do I know? Because 76 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:44,360 Speaker 1: of what you said in just like three sentences here, 77 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:48,279 Speaker 1: So practically look at this. Make a list. It's good 78 00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:52,080 Speaker 1: to follow your dreams, but not today. Make a list. 79 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,160 Speaker 1: What do I need to do? I need to save 80 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,640 Speaker 1: this much money for this equipment. I need to do 81 00:04:56,680 --> 00:05:00,400 Speaker 1: that year. How many years are in this plan? Say 82 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:02,440 Speaker 1: I'm going to do this, this whole thing. I'm gonna 83 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:05,440 Speaker 1: do this in two and a half years. Now. Already 84 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,280 Speaker 1: you're listening. You're like, I don't want to wait too 85 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,560 Speaker 1: I don't want to work for dad for two and 86 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:13,920 Speaker 1: a half years. Now we've got another problem, right, Maybe 87 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:18,680 Speaker 1: we have a bigger problem than what you're even emailing me. Right, 88 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:22,440 Speaker 1: So I think this is deeper than it appears. Some 89 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,760 Speaker 1: stuff you gotta work out. But the bottom line is 90 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:32,359 Speaker 1: you're not going to be a photographer today? Okay? How okay? 91 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:35,480 Speaker 1: Lasting before I move on, last thing, how do you 92 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:37,960 Speaker 1: know when it's time to be a full time photographer? 93 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,920 Speaker 1: You might be thinking that, anybody might be thinking, how 94 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 1: do I know when it's time to be full time 95 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:48,680 Speaker 1: in the dream the dream gig? How do you know? Guys? 96 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:53,479 Speaker 1: It's not hard. You know when you're making equal amount 97 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:56,560 Speaker 1: of money that you're making in your day job in 98 00:05:56,600 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 1: your hobby job. That's how you know. Then you let 99 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,800 Speaker 1: go of it the day job and you go full 100 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:08,360 Speaker 1: time hobby job when the money equals. I could say 101 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,279 Speaker 1: the same thing for music. How did I know when 102 00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:13,800 Speaker 1: it was time to go full time music? When music 103 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:18,719 Speaker 1: is making full time money? Now, full time money doesn't 104 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:21,239 Speaker 1: have to be indulging, It doesn't have to be a lot. 105 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:25,560 Speaker 1: It's just breaking barely scratching the surface of paying the bills. 106 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:28,719 Speaker 1: When you can do that and you could live on 107 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,600 Speaker 1: the money from the hobby. And I don't care if 108 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 1: you're eating Ramen noodles and staying on your buddy's couch. 109 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:38,240 Speaker 1: If that is living to you, good, then you could 110 00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:42,039 Speaker 1: do the hobby until then, until you can pay for 111 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:45,000 Speaker 1: the Ramen noodles and the gas in your car, you 112 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:55,160 Speaker 1: gotta stick with the day job. Next question, Subjecline says 113 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,840 Speaker 1: being content, and the email says, Hey Grange, your My 114 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:00,720 Speaker 1: name is Will. I'm twenty years old from Southwest Washington. 115 00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:04,120 Speaker 1: Been a podcast listener and for the better part of 116 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:07,120 Speaker 1: a year now, I'm having a problem balancing my relationship 117 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,479 Speaker 1: with God and his word and in search for a 118 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:13,400 Speaker 1: potential spouse. My question to you is this, while looking 119 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:16,000 Speaker 1: for a wife, how do I know whether or not 120 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:19,239 Speaker 1: that search is becoming an idol in my life? Marriage 121 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,920 Speaker 1: is biblical, but I'm trying to be content in God. 122 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,400 Speaker 1: It seems the more I try to be content, the 123 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:27,000 Speaker 1: more and more I think about the girl that I 124 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:30,120 Speaker 1: may have my eye on. Interested in hearing your thoughts 125 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:32,920 Speaker 1: on this. Thanks for everything you do, Will, Thanks for 126 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:37,880 Speaker 1: the email. Brother. Shout out to Southwest Washington. What a 127 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:40,720 Speaker 1: beautiful part of the country. And it's a good question. 128 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:43,600 Speaker 1: It's a really good question, and I'm happy that you 129 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 1: asked it. And we'll start with this. How do you 130 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,520 Speaker 1: know these are your words? How do you know whether 131 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:53,440 Speaker 1: or not that search for a wife is becoming an 132 00:07:53,520 --> 00:08:00,280 Speaker 1: idol in my life? Probably when you have to ask 133 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:04,600 Speaker 1: me if it's an idol or not. Probably when you 134 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:08,080 Speaker 1: have to ask anybody when it's becoming an idol, it 135 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:13,880 Speaker 1: already has, it's already done it. I don't think you 136 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,760 Speaker 1: would ask the question if it wasn't. I don't think 137 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,240 Speaker 1: you would wonder if it wasn't. You would just know, 138 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 1: of course it's not an idol. But when it becomes 139 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,360 Speaker 1: something that you wake up and you're thinking about, and 140 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,720 Speaker 1: you go to sleep and you're thinking about and you're 141 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:32,880 Speaker 1: you're awake and you're flipping through social media and you're 142 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:38,240 Speaker 1: thinking about it, what is what would be that? Like 143 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:43,160 Speaker 1: the practical easy, like the dumb definition for idle, what 144 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,959 Speaker 1: would that be? It would be something like this. It 145 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:51,280 Speaker 1: would be something that takes the place of what you 146 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 1: would be worshiping your creator in. So are you dreaming 147 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:59,199 Speaker 1: about it? Are you waking up in the morning? That's 148 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:01,760 Speaker 1: the first thought you had when you go lay your 149 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:03,360 Speaker 1: head down on your pillow at night, is that what 150 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:06,800 Speaker 1: you're thinking about? You're going through your day and your daydreaming, 151 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,560 Speaker 1: you're at work, and that is that what you're thinking about? 152 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:15,000 Speaker 1: Then you go, Wow, this is becoming an idol. And 153 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,600 Speaker 1: it's easy to do that with anything. I mean, for me, 154 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:20,640 Speaker 1: it's so easy for me to make idols out of 155 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:24,959 Speaker 1: new albums or new songs, or new movies, our new 156 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 1: podcast episodes, or negative social media post or positive social 157 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:34,120 Speaker 1: media post. It's easy for me to make an idol 158 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:37,080 Speaker 1: out of preaching. It's easy for me to make an 159 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:41,640 Speaker 1: idol out of my kids or my wife. It's easy. 160 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:48,360 Speaker 1: It's important, though, to be able to recognize, well, this 161 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:50,120 Speaker 1: is going a little too far. I should hit the brakes. 162 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,880 Speaker 1: I should recenter myself. How do we do that? I 163 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:57,400 Speaker 1: should recenter myself back into the word, back to start 164 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,680 Speaker 1: reading the Bible again. I should recenter myself with prayer, 165 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:04,000 Speaker 1: and that prayer could say specifically that like, God, don't 166 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,160 Speaker 1: don't let me make an idol out of this, this 167 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:10,240 Speaker 1: new song. What am I doing? What I've gone off 168 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:13,199 Speaker 1: on a tangent? God, don't let me make an idol 169 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:16,880 Speaker 1: out of this job. God, don't make me make an 170 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:21,200 Speaker 1: idol out of finding a wife because I feel I 171 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:25,920 Speaker 1: feel like I'm giving too much attention. Turn my heart. God, 172 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:29,320 Speaker 1: give me new desires. Let me crave you, Let me 173 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:32,960 Speaker 1: hunger for you and your word. Because here I go 174 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,040 Speaker 1: off on a tangent again, because I'm a human and 175 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:40,400 Speaker 1: I'm starting to follow my feelings and it's taken me 176 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:46,680 Speaker 1: away from you. Redirect me. Please, that's a solid prayer. 177 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,960 Speaker 1: That's a solid prayer that no one is immune to. 178 00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:54,040 Speaker 1: I don't care if you're the greatest saint on the planet. 179 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:57,880 Speaker 1: That's a solid prayer because guess what, you're human. So 180 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:01,280 Speaker 1: I don't want to take away the fact that it's important. 181 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:05,200 Speaker 1: Will it's important for you to find a wife. But 182 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:08,880 Speaker 1: the way to do it is seeking Jesus full strength, 183 00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:13,840 Speaker 1: running full strength for Jesus. And as you're running, as 184 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,760 Speaker 1: you're heading towards him, as you're learning more, as you're 185 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:19,480 Speaker 1: craving his words, you're praying, you're reading, you're attending, you're serving, 186 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:23,120 Speaker 1: and you look to your right and you see someone 187 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:26,679 Speaker 1: else on that same path, headed that same direction, and 188 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 1: you're like, hey, do you want to run with me 189 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:31,600 Speaker 1: in this direction? And They're like, yes, that's a pretty 190 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:36,560 Speaker 1: good way to find a spouse, just saying, now if 191 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:39,679 Speaker 1: you take your eyes off of that path and you redirect, 192 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:42,080 Speaker 1: and you go, I'm on this path, I'm running towards Jesus. 193 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:44,880 Speaker 1: But I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna turn around, and I'm 194 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:46,760 Speaker 1: gonna look over here for and dig around for a 195 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:49,080 Speaker 1: while for a spouse, and as soon as I find them, 196 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:52,480 Speaker 1: then we're gonna both start heading back to Christ. That's 197 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:59,319 Speaker 1: what you know. You found an idol. Next question, subjectline 198 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:03,600 Speaker 1: says what should I do? I guess I should read 199 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,600 Speaker 1: to find out. It says, Hey, Grangeer, my name is Evan. 200 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:09,480 Speaker 1: I'm eighteen from Iowa. Been talking to this girl on 201 00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:12,560 Speaker 1: Snapchat since August twenty fourth to twenty twenty two. Me 202 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:15,440 Speaker 1: and her talk daily and have never met in person. 203 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,520 Speaker 1: I've told her that I like someone, but I'm scared 204 00:12:18,559 --> 00:12:22,360 Speaker 1: to tell her that it's her that I like because 205 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:26,160 Speaker 1: I'm scared to lose them because she doesn't know it's her. 206 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:30,160 Speaker 1: This girl makes me smile with hardly even trying, and 207 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:33,240 Speaker 1: has helped me through some difficult times. I need your help. 208 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:42,240 Speaker 1: What should I do? Thank you? Evan? Interesting? Interesting coming 209 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:44,680 Speaker 1: off the last question going into this one. You could 210 00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 1: see the contrast. And so what I love this podcast. 211 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:50,840 Speaker 1: I love how there is no requirement for what your 212 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:53,520 Speaker 1: question is, and so they just roll into each other, 213 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:57,240 Speaker 1: and sometimes they roll they roll into each other in 214 00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:02,520 Speaker 1: a very interesting way, Like we just talked about finding 215 00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 1: a spouse and making that become an idol and then 216 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:08,400 Speaker 1: we roll right into a question that just definitely definitely 217 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:14,000 Speaker 1: looks like idolatry. And Evan, that is not a knock 218 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:18,000 Speaker 1: on you at all, because I am guilty and everyone 219 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:21,840 Speaker 1: listening is guilty at some level of something that becomes idolatry. 220 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:25,360 Speaker 1: But I just want to show you for my own benefits, 221 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:26,760 Speaker 1: so that I could see it. I could leave this 222 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:30,599 Speaker 1: podcast myself and I could learn from my for myself, 223 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:34,319 Speaker 1: because I'm just like you, brother, I'm just like you. 224 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,160 Speaker 1: But I want to show it like when you Sometimes 225 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,400 Speaker 1: you show it and you shine a light on a 226 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:41,840 Speaker 1: situation that's been in the dark. You shine a light 227 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:46,319 Speaker 1: on it and you go, oh, that's yeah, that's idolatry. 228 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:51,400 Speaker 1: For so many years I worked in bars playing music, 229 00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:57,240 Speaker 1: and it was always it was always really uncomfortable when 230 00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:00,600 Speaker 1: you show up to a bar to load in soundtrack, 231 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:03,320 Speaker 1: you bring your gear in, you're unloading the trailer, and 232 00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:05,679 Speaker 1: you go into the bar at like ten o'clock in 233 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:09,080 Speaker 1: the morning, and all the lights on are on, and 234 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,240 Speaker 1: the windows are open, and the doors are open, and 235 00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:14,360 Speaker 1: the garage door bays are open, and lights just pour 236 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:18,079 Speaker 1: an end to this bar. And it's then you see 237 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:23,680 Speaker 1: the dinge and the dirt and the stink and the 238 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:27,520 Speaker 1: rotten beer smell, and the spider webs and the cobwebs 239 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:31,520 Speaker 1: in the corners, and the dirt on the floor, and 240 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,160 Speaker 1: the mud on the rug, and the filthy stalls in 241 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:37,520 Speaker 1: the bathroom. You see it with all the light pouring 242 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:40,520 Speaker 1: in there. These are things you don't see at midnight 243 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:44,080 Speaker 1: when it's dark. And so that's sometimes this podcast does that. 244 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:47,480 Speaker 1: It's shining light on your situation right coming right out 245 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:51,720 Speaker 1: of that other question. And so first of all, you're 246 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,240 Speaker 1: on snapchat. Let me just shine some light right on. Okay, 247 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:56,640 Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna show the pot on this podcast. 248 00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:59,440 Speaker 1: I'm gonna show the cobwebs and all, and the dirt 249 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:02,400 Speaker 1: and all, not to knock you, but just to shine 250 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:05,560 Speaker 1: light for all of us to see. You're talking to 251 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:12,120 Speaker 1: a girl on Snapchat. You've never met her, you're scared 252 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:17,800 Speaker 1: to tell her you like her because you're scared to lose. 253 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,440 Speaker 1: A girl that you've never met, that you only talked 254 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:24,520 Speaker 1: to on Snapchat, you're scared to lose, and she, this 255 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:26,720 Speaker 1: girl on Snapchat that you've never met, that you're scared 256 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:30,640 Speaker 1: to lose, has helped you through difficult times, and you've 257 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:35,600 Speaker 1: become reliant on her to get you through difficult times. 258 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,200 Speaker 1: A girl that you're scared to lose, that you've never met, 259 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:43,480 Speaker 1: who you talked to on Snapchat since August twenty fourth, 260 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:48,360 Speaker 1: which is like two months. Okay, so there's so do 261 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:51,880 Speaker 1: We're shining some light in a really dark place, and 262 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:56,400 Speaker 1: I hope, I hope, once again, no judgment here, because 263 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,440 Speaker 1: I'm the same And if you were going to get 264 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:00,680 Speaker 1: a flashlight and shot shining in a my life, you'd 265 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:03,920 Speaker 1: see some stuff, right, You'd see some cobwebs. And so 266 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:06,480 Speaker 1: that's not I'm not trying to knock you. I want to. 267 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,160 Speaker 1: I'm want to make a thousand percent sure you know 268 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:11,640 Speaker 1: that I'm the same way, But I just want to 269 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:15,960 Speaker 1: show you, man, how crazy this sounds. You're reliant on 270 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:19,040 Speaker 1: a girl you've never met You've only talked to on 271 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:22,400 Speaker 1: Snapchat for two months, and she's helped you through difficult times, 272 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,080 Speaker 1: and you're too scared to tell her that you like her. 273 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:29,800 Speaker 1: So here's what you do. Let's get practical, Evan. You go, hey, 274 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:33,520 Speaker 1: no more than snapchat, give me your number. I got 275 00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:36,320 Speaker 1: something to tell you. And then you call her and 276 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:41,600 Speaker 1: you go, hey, Snapchat was great for us getting the meeting, 277 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:44,280 Speaker 1: but now that I hear your voice, I want to 278 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,040 Speaker 1: tell you something. I want to meet you in person. 279 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:51,280 Speaker 1: When can we do it. We'll go to coffee, we'll 280 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:54,040 Speaker 1: go to dinner, we'll go grab a movie. I just 281 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:56,440 Speaker 1: want to. I want to. I'll drive, I'll pick you up, 282 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,800 Speaker 1: I'll meet you whatever. I just want to see your 283 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:04,320 Speaker 1: face in person. And then you meet her in person 284 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:06,520 Speaker 1: for the first time, you're seeing her with your own eyes, 285 00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:09,720 Speaker 1: in real life, and you just say, I want to 286 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:12,080 Speaker 1: tell you. As awkward as this sounds, and I'm sorry, 287 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:14,840 Speaker 1: I just want to be vulnerable. I'm really nervous right 288 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,879 Speaker 1: now and this is something I couldn't tell you on 289 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:19,879 Speaker 1: Snapchat because I was too nervous. But it takes a 290 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,679 Speaker 1: lot of courage for me to just tell you I 291 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:26,720 Speaker 1: like you. I like you, and I hope you like 292 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:31,720 Speaker 1: me too, And if you don't like me, I don't 293 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,240 Speaker 1: want to lose you as a friend either, and I'm 294 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:35,720 Speaker 1: scared of that. And maybe that's the reason I waited 295 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:38,480 Speaker 1: so long to tell you, because I just didn't want 296 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:41,200 Speaker 1: to lose you as a friend. Because, to be honest 297 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:43,000 Speaker 1: with you, I've had some difficult stuff happened in my 298 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:47,719 Speaker 1: life and you make me smile. You get me through it. 299 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,720 Speaker 1: I know that sounds crazy because it's only been two 300 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,600 Speaker 1: months and on Snapchat, and I've never met you in person. 301 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:57,600 Speaker 1: I know it's crazy, but it's just the truth. You 302 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,399 Speaker 1: could tell me, and I'm an idiot. You could tell 303 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:02,920 Speaker 1: me I'm crazy and at least least we'll just get 304 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:04,879 Speaker 1: it out on the table, shine some light on it. 305 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:08,199 Speaker 1: But in the meantime, I wanted to throw it out there. 306 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:11,720 Speaker 1: I like you. If you like me back, maybe we 307 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:16,360 Speaker 1: could do this again sometime, grab some coffee. Evan. It's 308 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:21,240 Speaker 1: just that's it. There's no magic formula. It's just honesty, 309 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:31,639 Speaker 1: just telling her how you feel, not on snapchat. Next question, 310 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:36,440 Speaker 1: subdecline says unsettling marriage, and the email says, hey, grangeoud 311 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,840 Speaker 1: like to remain Anonymous on this one. I'm twenty three 312 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:41,479 Speaker 1: years old. My fiance and I live together in our 313 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:45,520 Speaker 1: own house. We've been together for seven years since high school. 314 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:47,919 Speaker 1: We have a day set next year to get married, 315 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:51,800 Speaker 1: but over the years we have definitely both changed. I'm 316 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:55,119 Speaker 1: not myself anymore, and I feel as if I can't 317 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:58,199 Speaker 1: be myself around her. I feel like I have to 318 00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,800 Speaker 1: live by the way she wants me to be, and 319 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,320 Speaker 1: she won't listen when I try to give her hints 320 00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:05,719 Speaker 1: on how I feel. I really don't want to get 321 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:10,200 Speaker 1: married because it does not feel right at the moment. 322 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:13,679 Speaker 1: I would also feel horrible to call off the wedding 323 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:17,320 Speaker 1: scene that her father has already paid for the venue 324 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:22,040 Speaker 1: and advice would be appreciated. Things Anonymous shining some light 325 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:30,400 Speaker 1: in your bar, and I hope you see, buddy, let 326 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,199 Speaker 1: me say Let me say it again. I don't think 327 00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:34,800 Speaker 1: I could say it enough on this podcast that I 328 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:38,800 Speaker 1: am no better than you. All I am is I'm 329 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:41,360 Speaker 1: seeing it from the outside and you're on the inside. 330 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:46,359 Speaker 1: I'm seeing it completely unbiased. I have I have no 331 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:49,320 Speaker 1: reason to love you more than the girl, or the father, 332 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,680 Speaker 1: or any or your friend. I don't know any of y'all. 333 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,960 Speaker 1: So I'm just looking from the outside and I'm appreciating 334 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,800 Speaker 1: an email that you opened up, and I'm going, here's 335 00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:03,879 Speaker 1: the way I see it. So you are, you're heading 336 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:07,040 Speaker 1: towards a marriage that's not gonna work. You already see it, 337 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:12,040 Speaker 1: and you're worried that the dad already paid for the venue, 338 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:16,440 Speaker 1: and so maybe you should stay. You see how crazy 339 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:24,359 Speaker 1: that sounds. You're risking a life with a loveless, unhappy marriage, 340 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:31,320 Speaker 1: bringing children into the world, getting divorced, and then ruining 341 00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:37,200 Speaker 1: the kids with this divorce essentially because of a wedding 342 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:42,399 Speaker 1: venue was already paid for by her dad. Uh uh No, 343 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,200 Speaker 1: that's not even a that's not even a let's think 344 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,400 Speaker 1: about that for a second. That's not a let's weigh 345 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:48,240 Speaker 1: the options. Let's get a pen and paper and write 346 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:52,480 Speaker 1: the pros and cons. That's a no. You go talk 347 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:56,600 Speaker 1: to the dad tomorrow, the day you hear this podcast, 348 00:20:56,680 --> 00:21:01,760 Speaker 1: as soon as possible, you say, Hey, I'm gonna call 349 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:06,879 Speaker 1: off this wedding. I'm so sorry. I feel like I 350 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:10,000 Speaker 1: feel like we've grown apart and you deserve someone that 351 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:15,040 Speaker 1: is not wavering in his decision about loving you. And 352 00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:16,480 Speaker 1: I'm gonna go see your dad and I'm gonna have 353 00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:18,639 Speaker 1: lunch with him. I'm gonna just say, mister so and so, 354 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:23,040 Speaker 1: we're calling off the wedding. How could I help with 355 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:24,720 Speaker 1: this venue? I know you already paid for it. You 356 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:28,960 Speaker 1: probably lost your deposit, and I wanna I wanna help. 357 00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:33,160 Speaker 1: I wanna pay for the deposit. It's seven hundred dollars. Wow, 358 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:37,240 Speaker 1: it's a lot of cash. But I'm gonna man up. 359 00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:39,600 Speaker 1: This is on me. I'm gonna man up and I'm 360 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:43,560 Speaker 1: gonna pay this deposit because sir, that's not it's not 361 00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:48,120 Speaker 1: your problem. So yes, sir, I'm gonna it's gonna take 362 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,480 Speaker 1: me a few months to save up the seven hundred bucks. 363 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,240 Speaker 1: I made that number up, by the way. I'm save 364 00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:57,200 Speaker 1: up some cash and I'm gonna pay you one hundred 365 00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:02,400 Speaker 1: bucks a month for seven months if that's okay. If 366 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:04,280 Speaker 1: I get a little bit more, i'll give you another chunk. 367 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:08,280 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry for the inconvenience, sir, and I'm terribly 368 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:12,359 Speaker 1: sorry that I broke your daughter's heart. But to be 369 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:17,159 Speaker 1: completely honest, I would rather break hearts and have to 370 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,960 Speaker 1: pay seven hundred dollars than to get into a loveless 371 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:24,120 Speaker 1: marriage that causes a lot more problems around the whole family. 372 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,640 Speaker 1: And I'm just thinking about the whole the big picture here, sir. 373 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:31,320 Speaker 1: And I know your daughter's a great girl and she's 374 00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:35,120 Speaker 1: gonna find someone that's just going to love her wholeheartedly. 375 00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:40,680 Speaker 1: But that guy's not me, Okay, I mean there it is. 376 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:45,159 Speaker 1: Don't be crazy about this. If anyone else is in 377 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:50,520 Speaker 1: a similar situation, don't be crazy. I'll take a break. 378 00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:57,760 Speaker 1: You're right back. So excited to tell you, guys, I 379 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,359 Speaker 1: got a brand new album out. It's called Moonrise. We 380 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:03,080 Speaker 1: just dropped it last week and it's the soundtrack for 381 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:06,879 Speaker 1: a new movie I have coming out December fifteenth, also 382 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:10,159 Speaker 1: called Moonrise. You could listen to the music wherever you 383 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:14,560 Speaker 1: love to hear music, whether that's Apple or Spotify or 384 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:18,960 Speaker 1: Pandora or YouTube, whatever it might be. Wherever you like 385 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,439 Speaker 1: to hear music, you could hear it there. So go 386 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:23,680 Speaker 1: stream it. That helps me a lot, and then tell 387 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:25,639 Speaker 1: me what song you like the most. Comment below on 388 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,760 Speaker 1: whatever platform you're using and gave me some feedback so 389 00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,040 Speaker 1: I know what songs to add to the setlist. In 390 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:34,760 Speaker 1: twenty twenty three. The movie comes out December fifteenth, called Moonrise. 391 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:38,480 Speaker 1: It is streaming on Pureflix, so make sure you're ready 392 00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:42,040 Speaker 1: to go with Pureflis and I hope you love it 393 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:43,960 Speaker 1: and I can't wait for you to see it. Also, 394 00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:46,399 Speaker 1: this time of year, you know, is really big for Cameo. 395 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:50,439 Speaker 1: That's cameo dot com slash Granger Smith. That's where you 396 00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:54,440 Speaker 1: find me and I can make you a personalized video 397 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:58,080 Speaker 1: message for whoever you want. And that's really popular here 398 00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:02,200 Speaker 1: because it's a Happy Holidays, Marry Christmas. It's an easy 399 00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,400 Speaker 1: gift that you can get for someone that you love 400 00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,560 Speaker 1: me giving them a quick shout out or saying whatever 401 00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:09,280 Speaker 1: you want, and it requires you don't have to go 402 00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:10,679 Speaker 1: out to the mall to do it. You just do 403 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,199 Speaker 1: it right there on your phone. You could also get 404 00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:15,600 Speaker 1: the Cameo app and search for me Granger Smith, and 405 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:18,000 Speaker 1: I will say whatever you need me to say for 406 00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:20,680 Speaker 1: whoever you want me to say it to. Super easy 407 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,280 Speaker 1: and a really great gift for me to give. I've 408 00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:25,639 Speaker 1: done hundreds of these and I would love to do 409 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:28,280 Speaker 1: one for you. Go to cameo dot com slash Granger Smith. 410 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:35,600 Speaker 1: Back to the podcast. Okay, welcome back to the podcast, 411 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:40,120 Speaker 1: one hundred and sixty fourth episode. Here's your questions. First one, 412 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:43,720 Speaker 1: and this is ironically the subject line on this one 413 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,679 Speaker 1: says not a question or no no, It says not 414 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:51,560 Speaker 1: a relationship question. Okay, here we go. Email says Granger 415 00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:53,800 Speaker 1: just wanted to start by saying your podcast is a 416 00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:57,480 Speaker 1: huge encouragement to me and help strengthen my walk with Christ. 417 00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:01,280 Speaker 1: Love the practical and biblical advice you sh with everyone. 418 00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:03,080 Speaker 1: Next time you're up in Maine, I hope to meet 419 00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:06,560 Speaker 1: with you. Sounds good. So I have a three bedroom 420 00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:09,400 Speaker 1: house I own and rent to two other guys. One 421 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:12,320 Speaker 1: is twenty six, has a career, and pays a standard 422 00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:14,920 Speaker 1: amount for rent a month. The other guy is seventeen 423 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:16,960 Speaker 1: years old. I've been friends with him for a few 424 00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:21,439 Speaker 1: years now that I met in church. He never has 425 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,080 Speaker 1: had the best home life, so I always told him 426 00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:26,160 Speaker 1: if he needed a stable place to stay, my home 427 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,960 Speaker 1: is always open. He kind of just wanted. He kind 428 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,679 Speaker 1: of just showed up one day and never left, and 429 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,040 Speaker 1: I told him that he had to pay less than 430 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:35,840 Speaker 1: half of what the other guy is paying in rent 431 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:39,840 Speaker 1: because he only works part time being in school. When 432 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:45,040 Speaker 1: he turns eighteen and graduates, should he let me read 433 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:48,040 Speaker 1: this right? When he turns eighteen and graduates. Should I 434 00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:50,280 Speaker 1: raise his rent to a round the same amount as 435 00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,399 Speaker 1: the other guy. I don't need the money, but I 436 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,199 Speaker 1: think it's important for him to learn and pay a 437 00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:58,679 Speaker 1: realistic amount for a place to live. Thanks a bunch, Caleb, Caleb, 438 00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:00,600 Speaker 1: thanks for the email. Man shout out, it's a Maine. 439 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,000 Speaker 1: I loved that place. And take you up on that 440 00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:07,040 Speaker 1: offer and maybe see you one of these days. Yeah, 441 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,639 Speaker 1: great question, great scenario. I'm glad you brought it up, 442 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,040 Speaker 1: and I'm glad you asked it. And it's a very 443 00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:16,680 Speaker 1: thought provoking. You sound like a good dude being able 444 00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:20,919 Speaker 1: to rent out your house. I would much rather you 445 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,360 Speaker 1: rent out your house to these guys like this than 446 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:26,399 Speaker 1: to live with your girlfriend for seven years and then 447 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:34,760 Speaker 1: it turns into a loveless engagement. Just saying, interesting situation. 448 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:37,040 Speaker 1: You got a guy you brought in from church and 449 00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:39,359 Speaker 1: he the guy just needed a break, He needed to 450 00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:42,200 Speaker 1: catch a break, and you were there to give him one. 451 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:48,440 Speaker 1: Really cool and he's also young, so what a great 452 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:50,919 Speaker 1: opportunity for him to go and pay a low amount. 453 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,440 Speaker 1: I think that's great and I think it's a good 454 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:58,359 Speaker 1: idea that when he graduates that you raises rent to 455 00:26:58,359 --> 00:26:59,840 Speaker 1: the same amount as the other guy. It's only fair 456 00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:06,040 Speaker 1: to the other guy. Here's the thing, this is just 457 00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:10,439 Speaker 1: about communication. The earlier you could tell him this, the better, 458 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:15,159 Speaker 1: and the more details you can give, the better. And 459 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:18,400 Speaker 1: this is tough love to this guy because you've obviously 460 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:21,280 Speaker 1: really given him a break. You've helped him out a ton. 461 00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:25,080 Speaker 1: So it's it's not it's not your responsibility to help 462 00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:28,280 Speaker 1: him out more. But now, just like you said, he 463 00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:30,719 Speaker 1: needs to he needs to be he needs to be 464 00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:37,480 Speaker 1: pushed out and taught a valuable life lesson with with love. 465 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:40,640 Speaker 1: And so what you do is you sit him down 466 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,480 Speaker 1: and you give him a lot of cushion. You just say, hey, 467 00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:48,840 Speaker 1: you graduate in eight months, could I could I sit 468 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:52,919 Speaker 1: down with you? I wrote some stuff up, just informally 469 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:54,720 Speaker 1: wrote some stuff up, and I'd love to talk about 470 00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 1: it in terms of you stay in here. And he's like, yeah, sure. 471 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:01,359 Speaker 1: So you go in and you print this out and 472 00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:03,960 Speaker 1: you make it look nice and neat, and you sit 473 00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:06,439 Speaker 1: them down, you know, around the dinner table, and you go, okay, 474 00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:10,880 Speaker 1: so you're going to graduate and you're gonna get a job, 475 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:15,879 Speaker 1: and when you do that, I need you to pay 476 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:19,199 Speaker 1: the same amount of rent as this other guy, and 477 00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:22,320 Speaker 1: I wanted to give you eight months advance just so 478 00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:26,880 Speaker 1: you know it's coming. And if you don't pay it, 479 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:30,080 Speaker 1: here's the penalty. Or if you're late on a payment, 480 00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:35,000 Speaker 1: here's the penalty. If you miss a payment completely, here's 481 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,600 Speaker 1: the penalty, and here's the consequence. And if you miss 482 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,040 Speaker 1: so many in a row, then there's going to be 483 00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:43,240 Speaker 1: a viction. And brother, I love you, man, and I 484 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:46,560 Speaker 1: support you, and I'm so happy with what you've done 485 00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,280 Speaker 1: and the turnaround that you've made in your life. And 486 00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,960 Speaker 1: so what I'm doing now is just kind of easing 487 00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:55,760 Speaker 1: you into what a normal landlord would do. Any normal 488 00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:59,120 Speaker 1: landlord that you find it's going to have these similar rules. 489 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,680 Speaker 1: And he's like, yeah, man, cool, Then you go, can 490 00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:06,400 Speaker 1: you sign right here? And then you get him to 491 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:09,720 Speaker 1: sign it. It's important that he signs it. This is 492 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:13,120 Speaker 1: a binding contract that you may or may not actually 493 00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:16,959 Speaker 1: have to use one day against him, but it's not 494 00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:21,320 Speaker 1: in a negative sense. It's teaching him. This kid, he's 495 00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:24,400 Speaker 1: turning eighteen, this is what a contract is. And this 496 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:26,560 Speaker 1: is what you would sign in an apartment or any 497 00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,520 Speaker 1: kind of rent house or duplex or whatever. It's gonna 498 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,920 Speaker 1: be just like this, and I'm doing it as a 499 00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,760 Speaker 1: friend to show you, to get you on your feet. 500 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:39,680 Speaker 1: Communication is the key. As many details as you could 501 00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:42,000 Speaker 1: think of. Because here's another thought. You got to think about. 502 00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:44,880 Speaker 1: What if he graduates and doesn't immediately get a job. 503 00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:49,240 Speaker 1: What if he doesn't graduate and go straight into a job. 504 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:51,520 Speaker 1: So these are little things you're gonna have to think 505 00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:53,320 Speaker 1: about and go. By the way, if you don't get 506 00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:56,600 Speaker 1: a job within three months of graduating, just making this up, 507 00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:02,120 Speaker 1: then then the rent still goes up. I'll give you 508 00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:04,640 Speaker 1: a three month cushion until you get the job, but 509 00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:08,000 Speaker 1: after ninety days the rent goes up, regardless if you 510 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,760 Speaker 1: have the job or not. Because he might think I'm graduating, 511 00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:13,320 Speaker 1: I'm gonna relax for a little bit without getting a 512 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:15,720 Speaker 1: full time job. Maybe he thinks that. So you just 513 00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:17,680 Speaker 1: want to write in those kind of details, put it 514 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:20,640 Speaker 1: in writing, and make him sign it, file it away, 515 00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:23,000 Speaker 1: and remind him every once in a while, how's the 516 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:26,240 Speaker 1: job search coming. Remember we're going to jack the rent up. 517 00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:33,240 Speaker 1: I think it's great that you're doing that. Next question 518 00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:37,600 Speaker 1: subject line says I do question mark. Hey Grander, my 519 00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:39,480 Speaker 1: name is Ty. I live in San Antonio, a huge 520 00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:41,240 Speaker 1: fan of everything you do and stand for. My question 521 00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:44,480 Speaker 1: is simple. I've been with my girlfriend, whom I love 522 00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:48,120 Speaker 1: for almost eight years. How do I know when it's 523 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:51,320 Speaker 1: the right time to get married? We don't have any kids. 524 00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:54,120 Speaker 1: We're still figuring out things down here as far as 525 00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:57,440 Speaker 1: jobs and whatnot, but we love each other. Any advice 526 00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:00,720 Speaker 1: would be great, man, love your brother. Thank you, ty 527 00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:06,920 Speaker 1: ty eef. I don't like this question, Tye, Hey, ty, 528 00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:10,800 Speaker 1: I don't like this question. You listen to me, you 529 00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:13,920 Speaker 1: under you know me by now? You know me by now? 530 00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:19,280 Speaker 1: Tie you know what I'm gonna say? What What do 531 00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:23,680 Speaker 1: you mean? How do you know when's the right time 532 00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:27,760 Speaker 1: to get married? You've been with their eight years? What 533 00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:30,520 Speaker 1: more do you need to know? What could I tell you? 534 00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:34,280 Speaker 1: What could I possibly tell you sitting behind this microphone 535 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:38,840 Speaker 1: that you don't already know after almost a decade of 536 00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:45,400 Speaker 1: dating her? Well, what's the deal? Why would you wait 537 00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:51,640 Speaker 1: that long? Eight years? Brother? I mean, kid, you don't 538 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:54,280 Speaker 1: have any kids? Thank god you don't have any kids. 539 00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:57,680 Speaker 1: I mean that would make things a lot more complicated. 540 00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:01,840 Speaker 1: Think of every other question I have to answer on here. Jobs? 541 00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:04,400 Speaker 1: What about the jobs? What does that have to do 542 00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:09,760 Speaker 1: with getting married. I mean, maybe you're you're living with 543 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:12,000 Speaker 1: in mom's basement and you need a job to get 544 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,200 Speaker 1: an apartment before you can get married, and you'll live. Okay, 545 00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:16,880 Speaker 1: I get that, But what if you are you're on 546 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:22,040 Speaker 1: your own. What's the big deal with jobs? Like financial 547 00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:26,040 Speaker 1: hardship at the beginning and buying ramen noodles and and 548 00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:30,280 Speaker 1: rationing money together and pulling money together and counting pennies 549 00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,760 Speaker 1: like that's that's that's part of the fun of an 550 00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:37,160 Speaker 1: early marriage, Like that's part of the adventure and learning. 551 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,160 Speaker 1: And then decades go by and you look back on 552 00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:40,920 Speaker 1: those days when you didn't have much and you go, 553 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:44,720 Speaker 1: look what we did with not much together. We pulled 554 00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:46,920 Speaker 1: our money together, and we fought through this together, and 555 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:49,320 Speaker 1: well look what we built. Look at this family, Look 556 00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:51,000 Speaker 1: at the kids we have now sitting around the table 557 00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:54,760 Speaker 1: at Thanksgiving. It's part of it. You know, there is 558 00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:57,080 Speaker 1: no set rule on you need to have so much 559 00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:58,680 Speaker 1: money in the bank account, you need to have so 560 00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:01,080 Speaker 1: much in the in in your savings, you need to 561 00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:04,720 Speaker 1: have this so many promotions in the corporate ladder before 562 00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:07,240 Speaker 1: you get married, because you want to be stable and 563 00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:11,320 Speaker 1: have everything neatly tied so that then you get married 564 00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:15,520 Speaker 1: and it's like good. I mean no, that's not part 565 00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:20,680 Speaker 1: of it. There's when we're talking about kids, that's okay, 566 00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:23,680 Speaker 1: that's different. I could see there's we got to wait 567 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:25,760 Speaker 1: for this and this to happen before we have kids. 568 00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:29,120 Speaker 1: We gotta wait for til we get a three bedroom 569 00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:31,880 Speaker 1: house where get the kids could have their own bedroom, 570 00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:34,200 Speaker 1: or we gotta wait till we get out of this apartment. 571 00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:38,920 Speaker 1: I get that, But marriage, what are you talking about? Dude? 572 00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:43,200 Speaker 1: Eight years is way too long for her too, Like 573 00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:48,800 Speaker 1: that's just way way too long. If okay, here's the 574 00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:51,000 Speaker 1: last thing I'll say. This is the scary part of 575 00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:56,800 Speaker 1: your question. This is this is scary. Tie. If you 576 00:33:56,920 --> 00:34:02,440 Speaker 1: have to ask me, after eight years, how do I 577 00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:06,000 Speaker 1: know when the right time to get married is? I 578 00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:09,560 Speaker 1: would say, if you have to ask, maybe she's not 579 00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:13,919 Speaker 1: the right one, because when you meet the right one, 580 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,920 Speaker 1: you go. I will do everything I can to wrap 581 00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:19,520 Speaker 1: this up as fast as possible and put a ring 582 00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:25,000 Speaker 1: on her finger. I hope she's not listening. Maybe she is, 583 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:31,200 Speaker 1: but it's worth a question. If you have to ask 584 00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:34,879 Speaker 1: when's the time to get married? You might even be 585 00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:39,160 Speaker 1: you might be past that already. Maybe she's not the 586 00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:52,080 Speaker 1: right one. Interesting, right, nice question, Sebi Gline says, podcast question. 587 00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:55,160 Speaker 1: Email says, Hey Granger, I've had a crush on this 588 00:34:55,200 --> 00:35:00,680 Speaker 1: guy for about four years. He's athletic, caring, funny, loves Jesus, 589 00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:04,360 Speaker 1: pretty much checks all the boxes. Everyone has been wanting 590 00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:07,520 Speaker 1: us to get together for years. But when I'm with him, 591 00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:11,040 Speaker 1: I just don't have fun. I can't help but think 592 00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:17,680 Speaker 1: I like the idea of being with someone more than him. 593 00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:22,560 Speaker 1: What should I do? And will I know when someone 594 00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:25,920 Speaker 1: is the right person for me? Wow? What a crazy 595 00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:30,520 Speaker 1: back to back email. That is crazy. This one came 596 00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:34,399 Speaker 1: right after that other one. Let me read that back 597 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:37,360 Speaker 1: part again. What should I do? And how will I 598 00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:41,120 Speaker 1: know when someone is the right person for me? Hmm, 599 00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:45,760 Speaker 1: maybe you should talk to ty Ty. I found your soulmate. 600 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,839 Speaker 1: I'm kidding. Don't don't do that. Soulmate's pagan. Don't listen 601 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:55,600 Speaker 1: to me. Okay, So are you saying you're anonymous? No? 602 00:35:56,120 --> 00:36:00,680 Speaker 1: Your name is Madison, Madison, thank you so much for email. 603 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:09,400 Speaker 1: And I'm confused and I'm confused and why you started 604 00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:12,040 Speaker 1: your this email with I've had a crush on this 605 00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:18,319 Speaker 1: guy for four years, but when you're with him, you 606 00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:21,200 Speaker 1: don't have fun. I don't understand that. Okay, so you're 607 00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:23,520 Speaker 1: gonna have to help me with that. Bear with me. 608 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:26,520 Speaker 1: I don't understand part of your question, but the the 609 00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:29,680 Speaker 1: basic idea is he checks all the boxes. He's a 610 00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:32,960 Speaker 1: good dude, athletic, carrying, funny, love Jesus. Okay, but you 611 00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:35,520 Speaker 1: don't have fun with you with when you're with him, 612 00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:39,080 Speaker 1: and you can't help but think you like the idea 613 00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:43,480 Speaker 1: of being with someone more than with him. Okay, So 614 00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:47,200 Speaker 1: what do you do and how will you know it's 615 00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:50,000 Speaker 1: the right person? You just know. You don't have to 616 00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:52,439 Speaker 1: ask me. You don't have to email the Granger Smith 617 00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:55,839 Speaker 1: podcast and ever ask me, how do I know when 618 00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:57,760 Speaker 1: I'm in love? Or when it's time to get married 619 00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:01,200 Speaker 1: or when when when you know? You know, like, you 620 00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:04,680 Speaker 1: don't have to ask me, because that's something that you 621 00:37:04,719 --> 00:37:07,560 Speaker 1: were born with, that manifests inside of you, that goes 622 00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:11,239 Speaker 1: I'm in I'm all in, and every fiber of your 623 00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:15,840 Speaker 1: being says I'm in love. And I will sacrifice what 624 00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:19,719 Speaker 1: I got going on that that brings enjoyment for myself. 625 00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:25,520 Speaker 1: I will sacrifice my bachelor pad, I will sacrifice my 626 00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:33,600 Speaker 1: buddies or my whatever bachelor habits. I will sacrifice and 627 00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:38,239 Speaker 1: put that to death for this new life that I 628 00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:41,680 Speaker 1: want to share with someone. And it's I don't care 629 00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:45,600 Speaker 1: about the state of education I'm in or the job 630 00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:49,120 Speaker 1: search I'm in. I will sacrifice all this because this 631 00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:51,760 Speaker 1: is the person I love and I want to spend 632 00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:55,840 Speaker 1: the rest of my life with them. And that person 633 00:37:56,840 --> 00:38:00,839 Speaker 1: doesn't have to check a box. That's what it's crazy, right, 634 00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:03,440 Speaker 1: Like you could fall in love with someone that you 635 00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:05,759 Speaker 1: want to spend the rest of your life with and 636 00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:08,759 Speaker 1: they don't have to check any of the boxes you 637 00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:13,520 Speaker 1: thought they would have to check. In fact, the more 638 00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:16,880 Speaker 1: boxes you lay out for yourself, the more you're gonna 639 00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:22,680 Speaker 1: realize the box has never mattered. You wanted a six 640 00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:26,520 Speaker 1: foot tall, brown headed, athletic guy, and then you met 641 00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:34,480 Speaker 1: a five foot eight, blondeheaded non athlete and you love him, 642 00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:36,960 Speaker 1: and you're like, how how did I all? Bet that's 643 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,480 Speaker 1: because I made a box and I thought if I 644 00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:42,919 Speaker 1: checked it off, But that's because I didn't know him, 645 00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:47,360 Speaker 1: I hadn't met him yet, that was your guy, And 646 00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:49,840 Speaker 1: so that's the same thing with this, you know, it's like, 647 00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:55,640 Speaker 1: forget your boxes, drop all your types, the types. My 648 00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:58,480 Speaker 1: type is this, My type is that, like I like 649 00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:03,400 Speaker 1: guys or girls that do this. Drop your types open 650 00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:07,520 Speaker 1: yourself up because sometimes you meet people with different hobbies 651 00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:11,480 Speaker 1: in different styles, and they look different than you or 652 00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:14,440 Speaker 1: the way you think they should, and then it broadens 653 00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:18,080 Speaker 1: you and your love gets bigger because of it. Like 654 00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:20,920 Speaker 1: in a broad sense, you meet someone you think, you think, 655 00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:23,960 Speaker 1: I love football, and so I'm gonna meet a girl. 656 00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:27,720 Speaker 1: I have to meet a girl that loves football because 657 00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:31,000 Speaker 1: I love to share Sunday afternoons with a girl that 658 00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:34,520 Speaker 1: loves football. And then you meet a girl and you 659 00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:39,560 Speaker 1: fall in love and she's never watched football in her life, 660 00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:43,080 Speaker 1: and so then guess what you get to do? You 661 00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:45,239 Speaker 1: get to teach her about this sport. You get to 662 00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:49,600 Speaker 1: teacher about what you love instead of her sitting there 663 00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:51,400 Speaker 1: wearing a jersey for the Packers and you're wearing a 664 00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:53,400 Speaker 1: jersey for the Cowboys and you just argue about the 665 00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:56,600 Speaker 1: game and she's like pass interference and you're like, dang, 666 00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:59,200 Speaker 1: how did you even know what pass interference is? The 667 00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:01,120 Speaker 1: flip side? So that you meet a girl and you're like, 668 00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:03,360 Speaker 1: let me show you about this game, and then she 669 00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:08,400 Speaker 1: loves volleyball, and you know nothing about volleyball, and she 670 00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:10,440 Speaker 1: takes you to a game and you're learning all the 671 00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:13,279 Speaker 1: rules and you just you guys are just feeding off 672 00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:16,839 Speaker 1: each other, and you're becoming better because of each other, 673 00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:19,960 Speaker 1: not because of the boxes you made that you thought 674 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:24,200 Speaker 1: they were gonna need a check bottom mind. What I'm 675 00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:30,000 Speaker 1: saying is you're not with the right guy. So drop 676 00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:33,400 Speaker 1: the boxes, drop this guy. Forget about all your friends 677 00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:35,960 Speaker 1: that are trying to get together for years, and just 678 00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:40,120 Speaker 1: tell them, sorry, guys, I don't have fun with them. Done. 679 00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:55,520 Speaker 1: Next question, subject CLIENTE says, please open very important. Hey, 680 00:40:55,560 --> 00:40:58,480 Speaker 1: it's Seth Taylor from Asheville, North Carolina. I've been listening 681 00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:01,959 Speaker 1: to you since the start of your brother. My son 682 00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:06,400 Speaker 1: is six and he has hydrocephalus, which is water on 683 00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:10,520 Speaker 1: the brain, and he has had twenty brain surgeries and 684 00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:15,319 Speaker 1: is in the hospital again not knowing what's wrong. My 685 00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:18,239 Speaker 1: question would be, how do you deal with the stress 686 00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:21,960 Speaker 1: and anxiety. I'm a Christian man, but sometimes I feel 687 00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:25,160 Speaker 1: like it's too much to handle and I don't know 688 00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:30,160 Speaker 1: how much I can take much. Love, brother Seth, thanks 689 00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:34,040 Speaker 1: for the email. Great question. I'm so sorry I don't 690 00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:37,640 Speaker 1: know what it's like to go through a six year 691 00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:41,719 Speaker 1: old with twenty surgeries. I don't know what it's like 692 00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:46,120 Speaker 1: to constantly be hearing bad news from the doctor that 693 00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:49,160 Speaker 1: your son needs to go back in for more tests. 694 00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:55,040 Speaker 1: And I don't know what it's like to google hydrocephalus 695 00:41:55,080 --> 00:42:02,160 Speaker 1: and hear other stories from people and hear bad news. 696 00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:04,759 Speaker 1: So I'm so sorry. First of all, I just you know, 697 00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:07,080 Speaker 1: the reason I say that, the reason I even start 698 00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:11,279 Speaker 1: with that, seth, is because I want to validate that 699 00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:15,920 Speaker 1: what you're going through is tough. I want to validate 700 00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:19,200 Speaker 1: that you're going through something abnormal that you have every 701 00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:26,520 Speaker 1: right to say. Man, I'm really I'm really stressed about this. Okay, 702 00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:29,880 Speaker 1: there's no way I would tell you, Ah, you shouldn't 703 00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:33,200 Speaker 1: be stressed about that. You're good. So we'll start with that. 704 00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:37,440 Speaker 1: Second of all, we'll go to the Christian man. Then 705 00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:40,560 Speaker 1: you say, I'm a Christian man, but sometimes it feels 706 00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:43,399 Speaker 1: like it's too much to handle. I don't know how 707 00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:47,000 Speaker 1: much I can take. Then I want you to lean 708 00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:53,480 Speaker 1: in to what you believe a Christian man is. Fundamentally, 709 00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:58,200 Speaker 1: what is a Christian man? Is it a perfect man? No? 710 00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:02,240 Speaker 1: Is it a man that's it's stress free one hundred 711 00:43:02,239 --> 00:43:05,239 Speaker 1: percent of the time. No. Is it a man that 712 00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:11,200 Speaker 1: just does nothing but smile and shows joy? No? No, 713 00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:15,800 Speaker 1: none of that describes a Christian man any moments, days, hours, 714 00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:20,640 Speaker 1: maybe sometimes. But we read the Bible, which is why 715 00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:24,960 Speaker 1: it's so important to read. That's why I have to 716 00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:28,240 Speaker 1: feast on the Bible every day. I don't call myself 717 00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:32,480 Speaker 1: a Christian man unless I'm living a Christian life. How 718 00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:34,520 Speaker 1: do I live a Christian life? Is it by being 719 00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:38,719 Speaker 1: good works and being perfect? No, it's by being obedient. 720 00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:41,239 Speaker 1: How do I be obedient? The only way I know 721 00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:47,120 Speaker 1: how is to read His word every day with a 722 00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:53,400 Speaker 1: broken heart, so many times, with a mind full of 723 00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:56,279 Speaker 1: gratefulness and praise to our creator for what he has 724 00:43:56,440 --> 00:44:01,359 Speaker 1: done and what he promises he will do who he is, 725 00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:07,480 Speaker 1: and with a broken heart knowing that I'm so far, 726 00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:11,480 Speaker 1: so far from being what I need to be. And 727 00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:14,200 Speaker 1: I live in a broken world with so many other 728 00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:17,720 Speaker 1: people with broken hearts, like you Seth and your son, 729 00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:20,960 Speaker 1: Because we live in a fallen world. So that's where 730 00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:27,360 Speaker 1: the brokenness comes in. And we come broken to the throne. 731 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:29,799 Speaker 1: And how do we get to the throne? Well, we 732 00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:32,840 Speaker 1: got it in our Bibles. We open it up and 733 00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:35,080 Speaker 1: we just say, God, I come to you broken today. 734 00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:39,640 Speaker 1: Another day I don't know what to do. Another day 735 00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:44,760 Speaker 1: I'm feeling stress and anxiety. And another day I'm reading 736 00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:49,960 Speaker 1: Matthew eleven twenty eight that says, come to me all 737 00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:53,839 Speaker 1: you who are weary and burdened, and I will give 738 00:44:53,880 --> 00:45:00,279 Speaker 1: you rest. And I'm reading the promise of Jesus on 739 00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:05,160 Speaker 1: these pages, and I'm seeing that the different people in 740 00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:10,640 Speaker 1: these stories are are persecuted, and they're grieving, and they're 741 00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:15,839 Speaker 1: going through physical pain and emotional pain. And how are 742 00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:19,040 Speaker 1: they navigating when we read the psalms? The Psalms Seth 743 00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:22,080 Speaker 1: saved my life in so many ways. But we we 744 00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:24,680 Speaker 1: navigate this and we pull out the Psalms that David 745 00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:28,400 Speaker 1: wrote a lot of, and we read David's writing and 746 00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:31,800 Speaker 1: we just see, we see all these moments where he's 747 00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:36,960 Speaker 1: just stressed and full of anxiety and in your words, 748 00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:40,839 Speaker 1: too much to handle. He doesn't know how much he 749 00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:45,560 Speaker 1: can take. I see you in the Psalms. But here's 750 00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:50,080 Speaker 1: the difference. He finishes those with what he knows. He 751 00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:54,359 Speaker 1: starts it with what he feels, and he ends it 752 00:45:54,719 --> 00:46:01,439 Speaker 1: with what he knows. But as you lie on God, 753 00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:09,799 Speaker 1: you are faithful. You are my rock, my refuge, my fortress. 754 00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:16,320 Speaker 1: It is you that lay me down in green pastures 755 00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:21,680 Speaker 1: next to cool clear waters. It is you that protect 756 00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:26,799 Speaker 1: me with your rod and your staff. Although I'm so 757 00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:29,440 Speaker 1: stressed and I don't know why, and I don't I 758 00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:31,680 Speaker 1: don't know why my son's going through, so I don't 759 00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:34,000 Speaker 1: know how much I can handle. That's how I feel. 760 00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:39,600 Speaker 1: So then I go back to what I know. I 761 00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:48,000 Speaker 1: am restored, redeemed, forgiven. These are the things I know. 762 00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:50,239 Speaker 1: How do I know? Because I read it and I 763 00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:55,200 Speaker 1: have to go back every day to this throne. That's 764 00:46:55,320 --> 00:47:00,200 Speaker 1: all we have. But the thing that's so beautiful it 765 00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:05,600 Speaker 1: is we see these stories. We see sick children, We 766 00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:10,920 Speaker 1: see broken parents, We see parents without without children that 767 00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:16,200 Speaker 1: are that are barren. We see we see breakups and 768 00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:22,840 Speaker 1: adultery and and stealing and lying, and murder and wars 769 00:47:24,280 --> 00:47:29,000 Speaker 1: and and people with injuries. We see every kind of 770 00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:32,520 Speaker 1: affliction and we see how they respond in that affliction. 771 00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:35,920 Speaker 1: And then for the for the ones that we know 772 00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:40,520 Speaker 1: we were people out of God's own heart. For those people, 773 00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:45,880 Speaker 1: we we align our hearts to them, not because we're 774 00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:50,400 Speaker 1: better than anyone, or we're more capable than anyone, or 775 00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:54,239 Speaker 1: we deserve more than anyone. None of it. We don't 776 00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:57,440 Speaker 1: deserve any of it. But we just align ourselves because 777 00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:02,120 Speaker 1: we just want, we want the grace. God, give us 778 00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:07,120 Speaker 1: your grace for one day. Give me today my daily bread, 779 00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:12,120 Speaker 1: not the lifetime bread, not next week's bread. Just give me. 780 00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:15,080 Speaker 1: Just give me the bread for today. That's what Jesus 781 00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:18,120 Speaker 1: told us to ask for. It's interesting that he said 782 00:48:18,120 --> 00:48:20,200 Speaker 1: it that way. He didn't say give me the lifetime bread. 783 00:48:20,520 --> 00:48:24,640 Speaker 1: He said, ask today for your daily bread. And so Seth, 784 00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:27,920 Speaker 1: when you say I just don't know how much I 785 00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:31,120 Speaker 1: could take, I could tell you, Seth, you can't take 786 00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:34,399 Speaker 1: it for tomorrow. You can't take it. That's too much 787 00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:39,359 Speaker 1: for tomorrow. So you just need grace for today. God, 788 00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:42,799 Speaker 1: just feel me. Just fill me today with what I need, 789 00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:46,279 Speaker 1: the strength I need. This is your prayer, Seth, Give 790 00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:48,479 Speaker 1: me the strength I need to be there for my son, 791 00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:52,319 Speaker 1: to be strong, for my son to be listening to 792 00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:55,040 Speaker 1: the doctors, to hear what they need to tell me 793 00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:57,680 Speaker 1: with an open mind, so that I know how to 794 00:48:57,760 --> 00:49:01,359 Speaker 1: administer and I know how to handle my son through 795 00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:05,200 Speaker 1: his questions and through his pain and through his suffering 796 00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:09,120 Speaker 1: and through my own, give me the strength to move 797 00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:12,200 Speaker 1: through that. Not for tomorrow, not for next week, but 798 00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:16,279 Speaker 1: just for today, because that's what you promised. You say 799 00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:20,960 Speaker 1: your mercies are new every morning, and you are faithful. 800 00:49:21,280 --> 00:49:25,920 Speaker 1: So give give me the daily bread just enough, and 801 00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:32,719 Speaker 1: tomorrow I'll worry about tomorrow's problems. That is being a 802 00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:36,480 Speaker 1: Christian man. It's not a label. It's not something you 803 00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:39,120 Speaker 1: call yourself. It's not something you were born with. It's 804 00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:41,600 Speaker 1: not something your parents gave you. It's not something your 805 00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:45,279 Speaker 1: pastor told you. It's not something that you're baptized, and 806 00:49:45,320 --> 00:49:49,640 Speaker 1: because of your baptism you became. It's not your identity 807 00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:55,680 Speaker 1: comes through your creator alone. He makes you a new creature, 808 00:49:57,160 --> 00:50:00,880 Speaker 1: He changes you, He makes you a Christian man, and 809 00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:05,120 Speaker 1: you know it because of how you are responding to it. 810 00:50:06,239 --> 00:50:09,879 Speaker 1: And you respond by going back to the throne, back 811 00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:18,320 Speaker 1: to the word humble, brokenhearted, hopeful. All at the same time, 812 00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:24,279 Speaker 1: I'll be praying for you. Seth. Appreciate your brother, love 813 00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:28,280 Speaker 1: all you guys. See you next Monday. Thanks for joining 814 00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:31,680 Speaker 1: me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. 815 00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:34,640 Speaker 1: You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. 816 00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:38,000 Speaker 1: If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that 817 00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:41,040 Speaker 1: little like button and the notification spell so that you 818 00:50:41,239 --> 00:50:44,840 Speaker 1: never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have 819 00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:46,960 Speaker 1: a question for me that you would like me to answer, 820 00:50:47,360 --> 00:50:52,280 Speaker 1: email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yie