Speaker 1: Hell I Suck At Dating with Dean Angler and I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio Podcast. We still have not worked in the
Speaker 1: plus Jared and Vanessa into that yet. Hello everyone, thank
Speaker 1: you so much for joining us on this week's episode
Speaker 1: of Help I Suck At Dating. I'm Dean Angler, joined
Speaker 1: in studio by the lovely incredible Jared high Band. I
Speaker 1: thought you're gonna introduce Vanessa with that. Well, Vanessa is
Speaker 1: not in studio, so I'm not in studio, that's what.
Speaker 1: And there she is. Hello Vanessa, how are you? I
Speaker 1: missed you, guys, We miss you too. Where are you
Speaker 1: right now? All right now? I'm in beautiful Montreal, so
Speaker 1: beautiful today. It's actually a little bit gloomy and it
Speaker 1: was raining all day yesterday. But when I landed back
Speaker 1: in Montreal last the one was that I think was
Speaker 1: over the weekend. It was warmer in Montreal than it
Speaker 1: was in l A when I left. And I'm which
Speaker 1: is surprising because Montreal is always, you know, you never
Speaker 1: it's the temperature is always on and off. But we're
Speaker 1: having such a great summer here. I'm really happy to
Speaker 1: be back. But I do miss you guys. Will you
Speaker 1: do miss you here as well? Um? It's a little
Speaker 1: bit lonelier here in the studio, but we're very happy
Speaker 1: to have you call in. We are happy to call in, Venissa.
Speaker 1: I just imagine you calling us from sitting on the
Speaker 1: toilet right now. That's all I'm imagining after your last
Speaker 1: comment where you're like, while the door opened, when I
Speaker 1: go to the bathroom with significant others. Now, I'm just
Speaker 1: imagining you, uh, you know, on the phone on the toilet. Well,
Speaker 1: unfortunately I cannot do that because I'm on the landline
Speaker 1: and I can't. Okay, fair enough, fair enough in the process. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the muting is important and very poor pinches. Yes, well anyways, Vanessa, Yes,
Speaker 1: we definitely miss you here in studio. Do miss you,
Speaker 1: but we do appreciate you being able to call in.
Speaker 1: I know you said that. Hopefully the calling in will
Speaker 1: be able to take a back seat and we can
Speaker 1: have you on a mic or something like that and
Speaker 1: we can kind of figure that a whole situation out,
Speaker 1: figure it out. And no, we can every other word, um,
Speaker 1: but can we hear you? Well? But but yeah, so
Speaker 1: so Van says, I think you were made aware from
Speaker 1: marker Jared the We're gonna jump into a little bit
Speaker 1: about um x X sex is friends with X's And
Speaker 1: I know you said that you had heard some news
Speaker 1: about Kate Spade, if you want to share that later
Speaker 1: on as well. But oh my god, I was so
Speaker 1: devastated after I heard the news. But it happened, well,
Speaker 1: it came out like six minutes after and I was
Speaker 1: following my eyes out a because well, first of all,
Speaker 1: Kate state, Um, she was found dead in her apartment
Speaker 1: in New York. And I was just at a story
Speaker 1: yesterday and I was looking at all of her products
Speaker 1: and her said so many cool things, and she set
Speaker 1: a legend when it comes to creativity and just everything
Speaker 1: that she's done. Um, and she was fifty five, and
Speaker 1: I think she has like a little girl of thirteen
Speaker 1: years old or something. And it just broke my heart. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's really tragic. The entire circumstances revolving around the situation
Speaker 1: are very sad, and our hearts definitely go out to
Speaker 1: the family. Always gone too soon. I did read up
Speaker 1: a little bit on it. Definitely is tragic. Um, Yeah,
Speaker 1: sending our sending our best to their friends and family
Speaker 1: and all that kind of stuff. But absolutely, but Vanessa,
Speaker 1: this this first segment, I think is actually an appropriate
Speaker 1: question for you just because it's kind of been a
Speaker 1: topic that we are inappropriate. Appropriate because it's something anything
Speaker 1: ever appropriate with you guys. Okay, go ahead, something we've
Speaker 1: talked about in the past a little bit. Can you
Speaker 1: be friends of the next? Um? Okay? So I actually so,
Speaker 1: I sign this really fun that I'm doing this from home,
Speaker 1: because you know how old school I am with my
Speaker 1: um notebook that I come in and I cut and
Speaker 1: paste all my paperwork and now I have all my
Speaker 1: notes on my laptop and I'm like, oh, I feel
Speaker 1: so like new school while you're so millennial right now,
Speaker 1: I know exactly. So I okay, my thoughts I'm being
Speaker 1: friends with an ex is absolutely I think, Um, well,
Speaker 1: I'm friends with most of all of my exes friends.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm it defines friends like I'm on good
Speaker 1: terms with Nick. Ever, he wouldn't need anything we pick
Speaker 1: up the phone. Sorry, I said, it's very nice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well I would. I mean, Listen, things don't work out
Speaker 1: for a reason, and for me, at least, it takes
Speaker 1: me a little it to get over the situation and
Speaker 1: to process it and not to have any form of
Speaker 1: emotion or um romantic ties to that person in order
Speaker 1: to be able to be there for them as a
Speaker 1: friend and not have any ulterior motive attached to it.
Speaker 1: And I um, I think for for we all process
Speaker 1: breakup differently, And for me, I like to cry for
Speaker 1: a week if I need to, and be really sad
Speaker 1: for a shorter amount of time and be able to
Speaker 1: get it out of my system in order to move
Speaker 1: on and be able to be there for the person
Speaker 1: later on. But also depends on how like being um
Speaker 1: ended off with your significant other. You know, It's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's all depending on circumstances. I'm going to
Speaker 1: kind of take a Devil's advocate approach and say that
Speaker 1: you really shouldn't be friends with your ex. I know
Speaker 1: that sounds very hypocritical obviously with my situation with this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is Jared saying this. Jared is saying that I
Speaker 1: think you can be between you guys. Okay, so you
Speaker 1: I think you can be friends with the next, But
Speaker 1: should you be friends with the next? I think it's
Speaker 1: a different question, and I'm not sure if you should
Speaker 1: be and if you are friends of the next, there
Speaker 1: has to be borders, there has to be just can
Speaker 1: we can we take a step back for a second.
Speaker 1: You can't distinguish between the two of us, Vanessa, No
Speaker 1: I could? I could. That's upsetting, all right, pick up
Speaker 1: where we left off. I didn't mean to interject. Well,
Speaker 1: I meant to interject, but I didn't mean to get
Speaker 1: this off topic. Um wait, okay, so no, I I
Speaker 1: agree with you. I think that it's hard sometimes to
Speaker 1: just cut a person out of your life completely. And
Speaker 1: when who was it that called in and we were
Speaker 1: talking to them about like the different stages that you
Speaker 1: go through after breakup, and I think it's important to distinguish, like, Okay,
Speaker 1: if do I want to be friends with this person
Speaker 1: because my motive is to get a reaction out of
Speaker 1: them and for them to want me back, and it
Speaker 1: becomes a chase, And you know, if that's your motives,
Speaker 1: then absolutely not. Don't be friends with your ex. But
Speaker 1: if your motive is to just end off on be
Speaker 1: able to find a way to be on good terms,
Speaker 1: that's always my goal. My goal is you know, let
Speaker 1: me if I need to hate you for a little
Speaker 1: bit and hate myself for a little bit and be
Speaker 1: sad and be mad, I love you and go through
Speaker 1: all those stages. I need to go through all those stages,
Speaker 1: but my ultimate goal at the end is to be
Speaker 1: able to be neutral with that person and forgive them,
Speaker 1: forgive myself or whatever has happened, and still be able
Speaker 1: to be there for them. I'm not saying like I'm
Speaker 1: going to call all my exes after I'm done the
Speaker 1: podcast today. I'm not on I'm not on those terms.
Speaker 1: You're not going to call all your exes after this podcast?
Speaker 1: I am. I mean, but that's actually funny that you
Speaker 1: mentioned that, because on hold right now, we have the
Speaker 1: foremost recent of your excess and we're going we're gonna
Speaker 1: bring him on the podcast and talk all about you,
Speaker 1: and you're pooping habits um then, as I do love
Speaker 1: how you pronounce important God, I love that the enunciation.
Speaker 1: Have you ever hooked up with an X? No? Never,
Speaker 1: not once in your entire life? Be honest with us.
Speaker 1: This is the format for honest tea. No, I swear
Speaker 1: I've never hooked up For the next you have you? Yes?
Speaker 1: Have you? Yes? Okay? So, Vanessa, do you feel like
Speaker 1: you want to change your answer? I'm being honest. I haven't, Um,
Speaker 1: I haven't hooked up with an X I just I
Speaker 1: don't want to go. I'm also which brings me like
Speaker 1: to the next I think topic that we're going to
Speaker 1: talk about. But it's going to be like all this
Speaker 1: up right now having sex with someone for me, Where
Speaker 1: are you going with this? Well, no, you're staying like
Speaker 1: cooking up with someone. I'm not gonna I don't know
Speaker 1: how to casually hook up with someone. And it's funny
Speaker 1: because there's a sign by Marshmallow and what's her name
Speaker 1: that came out and I'm like, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: cannot release this song. Who was it? Marshmallow and Anne?
Speaker 1: Marie's called friends by Marshmallow and Marie and she's talking
Speaker 1: about basically the gist of it is, you know, being
Speaker 1: hook up friends for lack of a better term, because
Speaker 1: I don't want use a gift boards, but I think
Speaker 1: you know, I've never asked, well, fun buddies, fun buddies.
Speaker 1: We'll call them fun buddies for the sake of this context.
Speaker 1: So yeah, Anyway, I think there's a difference between being
Speaker 1: friends with an X and being on good terms with
Speaker 1: an X, and I think that's a good thing to
Speaker 1: know and distinguish because being friends with the next I
Speaker 1: think it's difficult to really not x's are your comfortable
Speaker 1: zone right there, You're comfortable, and so like they're they're
Speaker 1: you're they're comfortable to you, I can't speak. They're your comfort.
Speaker 1: I love comfort, um. And so it's very easy just
Speaker 1: to jump back into a relationship that you're comfortable with.
Speaker 1: And I think that's when an X presents right. You
Speaker 1: know them, you're comfortable with them. It's easy, um. And
Speaker 1: so a lot of times when you're friends with your X,
Speaker 1: I think you kind of just kind of slide right
Speaker 1: back into being in a relationship with them. I do
Speaker 1: think there's a difference between being friends with an X
Speaker 1: and being on good terms with an X, because also,
Speaker 1: say you start dating someone new, isna kind of awkward
Speaker 1: to say that you're still really good friends with the
Speaker 1: person that you just dated and having to introduce them,
Speaker 1: and then like, of course that's going to put pressure
Speaker 1: on the new relationship and put pressure on her or
Speaker 1: him to like kind of measure up to the X
Speaker 1: a little bit. I just there just has to be
Speaker 1: some borders put up. I think if you want to
Speaker 1: be friends with an X, I don't know where you're
Speaker 1: talking about. I agree with you. I think. I think
Speaker 1: that's what I had a hard times between the definition
Speaker 1: of a friend and definition of being on good terms
Speaker 1: with someone. I've been in a situation. I've been a
Speaker 1: situation before where because I'm the same way, I like
Speaker 1: to kind of maintain formal formalities with pleasantries with former girlfriends. Granted,
Speaker 1: you know, I've had what three serious girlfriends in my life.
Speaker 1: I'm not in constant contact with any of them, so
Speaker 1: I guess to that point, I'm not necessarily friends with
Speaker 1: them as I would call the typical definition of a friend,
Speaker 1: but I do like to remain on good terms. And
Speaker 1: I even, um, it's funny enough because obviously we've talked
Speaker 1: about this, and I think even a couple of weeks
Speaker 1: ago was I was at a wedding and two of
Speaker 1: my exes where it happened, who have been at that wedding,
Speaker 1: and I was talking to one of them, the one
Speaker 1: that I did before going on the show, and she
Speaker 1: had mentioned how she's like, yeah, like I had to
Speaker 1: block you on Instagram, your phone number, all that kind
Speaker 1: of stuff, not because I hate you or dislike you,
Speaker 1: but just because it's hard to be friends with someone
Speaker 1: that you've dated because sometimes the feelings are still there,
Speaker 1: especially you're in the public eye. It's a little different,
Speaker 1: you know, oh yeah, And then there's definitely something to
Speaker 1: be said about that too. Is like obviously like her
Speaker 1: and I broke up, and then she was forced to
Speaker 1: see my picture kind of more often than she would
Speaker 1: have had I not done the Bachelorette Winter Game, and
Speaker 1: everybody wants to know who you're dating. It's kind of
Speaker 1: a hard you can't really escape it. It's not easy
Speaker 1: for your next like that. I think that's what's hard
Speaker 1: about like dating nowadays, with like people being addicted to
Speaker 1: like Facebook or like Instagram, it's hard. I think it's
Speaker 1: a lot easier to quote unquote, um stay in touch
Speaker 1: with an act without them actually knowing, But it's also
Speaker 1: a lot messier for your most rele mental well being,
Speaker 1: Like I, um, it takes like I think for me,
Speaker 1: there's no there's no real formulas to getting over someone
Speaker 1: or there's no real formula and ending up on good
Speaker 1: terms with someone you dated. I think it's important to
Speaker 1: be on good terms with someone that you dated. They
Speaker 1: were in your in your in your life for a reason.
Speaker 1: And um, at least for me, I don't like holding
Speaker 1: onto any form of grudges towards people that I've dated. Um.
Speaker 1: But you're right there, and I don't think it's the
Speaker 1: smartest thing to be friends to that level with someone
Speaker 1: that you've dated. UM, especially when you're bringing someone new
Speaker 1: into your romantic life. It could they could get a
Speaker 1: little bit sticky, of course, And like the thing about
Speaker 1: it next is you share so many intimate moments with
Speaker 1: that person, very important moments within your life. So of
Speaker 1: course you want to be very nice. And if you
Speaker 1: guys break up, you're like, well, we still can be friends.
Speaker 1: But I think the nicer thing to do better than
Speaker 1: being friends is to be honest, right, especially with something
Speaker 1: like love, the most important thing you want is honesty.
Speaker 1: And after you guys break up, usually when there's a
Speaker 1: break up, one person still wants to be in the
Speaker 1: relationship and the other person doesn't. And so it's usually
Speaker 1: the person that does want to be in the relationship
Speaker 1: that says, like, I still want to be friends, because
Speaker 1: they might be clinging onto something that you think sometimes
Speaker 1: I think it, yes, But it's the person that doesn't
Speaker 1: want to be in the relationship that says, let's be friends,
Speaker 1: and the other one that says sorry, we can't because
Speaker 1: if we do stay friends, all want to stay in
Speaker 1: a relationship with you. But it's also the post. But
Speaker 1: if you're if we were dating and you broke up
Speaker 1: with me, I'd probably be like, oh, well, let's stay friends. Well,
Speaker 1: what I'm saying is is like if I'm like, say
Speaker 1: I'm the one, say Dean and I are breaking up,
Speaker 1: Dean's breaking up with me, and so no way would you,
Speaker 1: No way, what Jared ever want to break up with me?
Speaker 1: I'm freaking perfect good and so Dean, if you broke
Speaker 1: up with me, you'd say, hey, but I still want
Speaker 1: to be friends, right, And as someone who still wants
Speaker 1: to be with you because I thought things were going well,
Speaker 1: I would say, yes, I still want to be friends
Speaker 1: because I'm still want you in my life and I'm
Speaker 1: playing on something. First of all, you would be heartbroken
Speaker 1: from me breaking up with it. Obviously you would devastated,
Speaker 1: and I cry for a week. Like Vanessa said, you
Speaker 1: would say, friends, I can't be your friend. I love you,
Speaker 1: I need to separate and cut myself off completely from you, Bedine,
Speaker 1: I agree, but I don't think a lot of people
Speaker 1: would say that. I think a lot of people would say, okay,
Speaker 1: as long as I keep them in my life, I
Speaker 1: think I'll be okay because there's still a chance. No,
Speaker 1: trust me, if I broke up with you, Jared, you
Speaker 1: would be so heartbroken and devastated you had have no
Speaker 1: choice but to cut me out of your life. He's
Speaker 1: very humble. Ladies and gentlemen, don't let this one segment
Speaker 1: change your mind on that. Well, so that brings us,
Speaker 1: I guess to the point, is uh, what Prince Harry's wedding.
Speaker 1: He had two of his exes there, which is a
Speaker 1: little odd. I don't know if I could if I guess,
Speaker 1: maybe it all depends on what the relationship was, how
Speaker 1: long it was, how invested the feelings were. If if
Speaker 1: I wasn't in love with somebody, I think I could
Speaker 1: still be friends with them, if it was just like
Speaker 1: we dated for a while and it didn't really work out.
Speaker 1: I read somewhere. I remember what article it was, or
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, you gotta you gotta always take
Speaker 1: what you read online for being assault. We were talking
Speaker 1: about everything online is true, everything online is true. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but apparently I read something that he had a converse
Speaker 1: a phone conversation with his ex that he dated for
Speaker 1: like seven years on and off. She's a blonde woman,
Speaker 1: I believe, and they basically had a conversation that I
Speaker 1: remember what it was about, but it was like kind
Speaker 1: of weird to have that serious conversation that's a couple
Speaker 1: of days before he gets married. I think he was
Speaker 1: him saying how his like you love someone else or
Speaker 1: I don't remember what it was, but it was odd.
Speaker 1: It was an awkward conversation, and I remember thinking, like,
Speaker 1: why would you have this kind of conversation with an
Speaker 1: X right before you're getting buried, Like shouldn't you before what? Well,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, it's a tough situation because I'm
Speaker 1: sure you don't really think about It's also difficult reaching
Speaker 1: out to an X and saying, hey, I'm in a
Speaker 1: new relationship. I just wanted to give you a heads up,
Speaker 1: like I don't really know what the right thing to
Speaker 1: do is. So I think Harry probably was just trying
Speaker 1: to do the best he could by saying, well, let
Speaker 1: me reach out personally and say hey, listen, I've done that,
Speaker 1: I've done that before. Yeah. It's always awkward, it's challenging,
Speaker 1: it's always awkward and we're not getting married. He you go,
Speaker 1: he was, he had this conversation before he was getting married. True,
Speaker 1: but it's still it's still how you want to handle it.
Speaker 1: I think you can handle it both ways. I don't
Speaker 1: think you have to reach out. Um. It all depends
Speaker 1: on what your relationship was during the relationship, during you know,
Speaker 1: time he dated, and also afterwards right where you guys
Speaker 1: still friends, where you guys still you know, hooking up?
Speaker 1: You guys this question because I think guys have a
Speaker 1: different way of dealing with break up when it comes
Speaker 1: to social media and like phone and all that. So
Speaker 1: when you and if you were to break up with
Speaker 1: someone or someone broke up with you, would you go
Speaker 1: and on follow or block the person on social media
Speaker 1: or on your phone? And it depends on how devastated
Speaker 1: I was. If I was, you know, still in love
Speaker 1: with that person and I didn't want to see them
Speaker 1: move on with their life without me, yeah, I definitely
Speaker 1: block them. I blocked my ex on all social media platforms.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to say the name. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: pretty obvious. I'm sure who it is actually funny enough,
Speaker 1: but maybe I'm just petty and weird. I've actually blocked
Speaker 1: every single one of my every single one of them.
Speaker 1: Care less what they're doing. I could care less. I
Speaker 1: just don't want to see their pictures that are being
Speaker 1: posted comments. Not because I'm still in love with them,
Speaker 1: and I understand that argument can be made, but just
Speaker 1: because I just don't want to see it. So, with
Speaker 1: the exception of Rachel, the four of the three of
Speaker 1: the four relationships that I've been in publicly since going
Speaker 1: on the show are since blocked on my Instagram. On
Speaker 1: my side, yeah, I just don't want and I don't
Speaker 1: I don't know, can I ask? Yes, still still blocked
Speaker 1: every single one of them. And it's not like I
Speaker 1: have any ill feelings towards a single one of them,
Speaker 1: Like if I saw any of them in person, I
Speaker 1: would walk up to them, hug them say asked them, Hi,
Speaker 1: how are they doing all that kind of stuff. I
Speaker 1: just like, personally have no interest in seeing the pictures
Speaker 1: that they post, the comments that they make on other
Speaker 1: contests or cast members pictures, my friends pictures, all that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff, And so I've just gone into the
Speaker 1: taking it to the next level and blocked them. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think that it's not necessarily like it's especially like,
Speaker 1: like Jared said, you share a lot of intimate moments
Speaker 1: with these people. You don't want to be constantly reminded
Speaker 1: of a failed relationship. But there are certain circumstances where
Speaker 1: you can be friends with an X in my personal opinion,
Speaker 1: um when like, especially if you both enter into new relationships.
Speaker 1: It's hard if like ones in a relationship and the
Speaker 1: other one is not in a relationship. But if both
Speaker 1: x as are in a relationship, I think it makes
Speaker 1: it much more reasonable and like agreeable and amicable to
Speaker 1: be in a relationship. Yes and no, because I agree
Speaker 1: with you to that point, But I also would say
Speaker 1: that it might be unfair to the other person in
Speaker 1: the relationship because like, imagine you dating someone and they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm still really good friends with this person who had
Speaker 1: just dated, but they wouldn't that you make you be like,
Speaker 1: I trust you, but it kind of just makes me
Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable. Yeah, So I don't know. I think it's
Speaker 1: a gray er and I think it's definitely on an
Speaker 1: individual basis, definitely case by case, and that's a hard thing.
Speaker 1: It's oh no, no, go ahead. I was just saying
Speaker 1: I think that I've I've definitely unfollowed people UM and
Speaker 1: followed people I mean and x is or on x
Speaker 1: UM on Instagram, but I've never blocked to them, just
Speaker 1: because I feel like that would cause more of a
Speaker 1: negative energy between us after the breakup. And my ultimate goal,
Speaker 1: like I said, is to always be on neutral terms
Speaker 1: with the person that I dated. But for me, blocking
Speaker 1: is just an extent like I don't know, I don't
Speaker 1: want to, I don't know. No, I agree with you
Speaker 1: on that, but I also agree with Dean, like I
Speaker 1: remember going through, uh, you know, years ago situation where
Speaker 1: you know, the next time didn't work out. I remember
Speaker 1: seeing a picture with her and another guy, and I
Speaker 1: had no idea, you know who the guy was with
Speaker 1: her boyfriend could have just been a friend, could have
Speaker 1: been a cousin. But I could care less because I
Speaker 1: saw that picture and I was like, nope, all right,
Speaker 1: never never again, never again, because I don't know, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, it just triggers you to be like no,
Speaker 1: I don't I don't want to. You know what, I
Speaker 1: have a tendency of doing. I don't know if you
Speaker 1: guys do this too. So I constantly get people UM
Speaker 1: sending me messages like how do you get over break up? Like,
Speaker 1: you know, my X and I just broke up, Like,
Speaker 1: how do I get over it? How did you get
Speaker 1: through your breakup so publicly? And there is no formula
Speaker 1: to get over someone. I think for me it's to
Speaker 1: really process it and get it out of your system.
Speaker 1: I always compare a breakup to the flu, when when
Speaker 1: you first get to fool you feel really really sick.
Speaker 1: For like three days you feel like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: this feels like death, and then slowly, slowly you start
Speaker 1: like feeling better, but without knowing why you start to
Speaker 1: being better, it just gets out of your system. So
Speaker 1: for me, it's the same thing when it comes to breakup.
Speaker 1: But one of the ways that I do find UM
Speaker 1: helps me to process it or kind of like get
Speaker 1: them out of my system. You know, I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't know if this is weird. I do eat their
Speaker 1: number in my phone and the entire conversation that I've
Speaker 1: had with them, Um, even if it's I don't know,
Speaker 1: if it's someone that I dated, no matter how long,
Speaker 1: it's a blocked phone numbers too. I'm a serial blocker.
Speaker 1: I think I've realized I blocked their phone numbers. I
Speaker 1: have a problem, Oh you, I don't block their phone
Speaker 1: numbers just I don't know. I don't block their phone number.
Speaker 1: I'm a serial blocker. I just it just came to
Speaker 1: that realization. Instagram, Twitter, phone number block on every platform
Speaker 1: I can so you, that's so interesting because you're you
Speaker 1: just said that you should be friends with the next
Speaker 1: and you've blocked them on every platform that could possibly
Speaker 1: reach out to it. I contradict myself constantly. Nothing new
Speaker 1: and none of us are they? Are you not in
Speaker 1: contact with any of your exits? I wouldn't go as
Speaker 1: far to say that, but there are certain ones that
Speaker 1: I require to block distance from distance from maybe because
Speaker 1: I didn't want them to have the ability to reach
Speaker 1: out back to me, less for the fact like I
Speaker 1: just didn't want to see them. I just didn't want
Speaker 1: to give them the opportunity to be able to have
Speaker 1: an open line of communication. I don't know, No, that's fair.
Speaker 1: There are certain people in this life that, yeah, you
Speaker 1: have to I think there are certain people in this life,
Speaker 1: including excess, that you have to live with in your heart,
Speaker 1: but maybe not in your life. And so I think
Speaker 1: it all depends on a case by case basis and
Speaker 1: whether you think you can legitimately be friends with someone
Speaker 1: with those kind of borders up. Um, But I think
Speaker 1: in a lot of cases is specifically if you're in
Speaker 1: a long term relationship with somebody, it's very difficult, not
Speaker 1: only for yourself but for them and hopefully the future partner.
Speaker 1: It puts just a lot of strain where there might
Speaker 1: not need to be. Vanessa, did you follow Nick on Instagram? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we unfollowed each other. Was it like a joint let's
Speaker 1: understand the joint thing as you guys went in separate
Speaker 1: ways or was it just like over a couple of
Speaker 1: times things And it's like I remember the day we
Speaker 1: broke up, Um, he drove like the next morning, he
Speaker 1: drove me to the airport when it was like officials,
Speaker 1: He drove me to the airport. And it wasn't like
Speaker 1: it wasn't like a how can't I explain it? It
Speaker 1: wasn't like I hate you, It wasn't anything like that.
Speaker 1: It was we were both so sad over the fact
Speaker 1: that we couldn't figure out how to stay together, Like
Speaker 1: we tried everything to make it work. We just were
Speaker 1: we just we were very different, you know, And I
Speaker 1: think that's why Um, that's why I don't. There's no
Speaker 1: like negative feelings towards the relationship it or towards the
Speaker 1: breakup and stuff. Um. And I remember when he dropped
Speaker 1: me off at the airport. I just remember feeling a
Speaker 1: feeling of complete sadness because it was like, I know
Speaker 1: this is going to be the last time we have
Speaker 1: each other goodbye, and like we didn't want to go
Speaker 1: with each other, and that realization it was like Okay,
Speaker 1: now now it's like you're on overdrive, Like Okay, now
Speaker 1: I have to figure out, like how am I going
Speaker 1: to be able to get over this? Because no one
Speaker 1: wants to stay in the state of sadness. No one
Speaker 1: wants to stay in the state of being angry or
Speaker 1: holding onto something or holding onto grudg's like that's all
Speaker 1: negative feelings. So for me, I had to process, Okay,
Speaker 1: what's my next But what's my first step now to
Speaker 1: not how can I play this? Like you know, sometimes
Speaker 1: when you get broken up with, it becomes also or
Speaker 1: broken up with, or if you break up with someone,
Speaker 1: it's the ego kind of kicks in and you kind
Speaker 1: of want to still have that person in your life
Speaker 1: and you kind of want to call them back to
Speaker 1: see if they're if you can get a reaction out
Speaker 1: of that. Um, and I didn't want to go down
Speaker 1: that path, so I just thought it'd be a healthier
Speaker 1: option if I don't know who unfollowed each other first,
Speaker 1: But I think it was kind of like a mutual understanding,
Speaker 1: no hard feelings towards one another because we did that. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, he got a role on a TV show
Speaker 1: or something and I had messaged him on on the
Speaker 1: phone and I congratulated him for that. He messaged me
Speaker 1: for Christmas, which my family had married Christmas, So there
Speaker 1: were no negative feelings. Of course, there's stuff that you know, um,
Speaker 1: that you kind of like hang on to it. You like,
Speaker 1: after your breakup, you kind of you said process things
Speaker 1: like oh, I wonder like what if what would have happened,
Speaker 1: if this would have been different, or if I would
Speaker 1: have done that, or that person would have done that
Speaker 1: before we before it was just no, no, no. It
Speaker 1: was very interesting for interpretation. Before we jump into our
Speaker 1: next segment, a quick gearshift kind of on the same topic,
Speaker 1: do you think Jared that when you're in a relationship
Speaker 1: with someone you're obviously in a relationship with actually now,
Speaker 1: how does that affect your friendships with females moving forward?
Speaker 1: It doesn't really hasn't really affected any relationship with my
Speaker 1: female is one of my best friends in the world
Speaker 1: is female. She's the one who signed me up to
Speaker 1: be on the Bachelor in the first place. Um, I
Speaker 1: think you can be friends with somebody of the opposite sex.
Speaker 1: I just think that you really can't be physically attracted
Speaker 1: to them, like you can't want to hook up with them.
Speaker 1: I know that's a very obvious statement, but it's not
Speaker 1: obvious to a lot of people. Well, you can't just
Speaker 1: you can't fight who you So you can't be friends
Speaker 1: with someone that you're physically attracted to. Well, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: go as long as it's just tough, right. Say you're
Speaker 1: in a relation, Okay, say say you were in a
Speaker 1: relationship with a girl and she was like, oh, one
Speaker 1: of my really good guy friends. Uh. And then you
Speaker 1: meet him and he's very good looking, and you're like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: that's okay, you guys are just really good friends. And
Speaker 1: then she's like, no, he's very good looking. Would you
Speaker 1: be like say that one more time? Well, that's a
Speaker 1: tricky thing. It's a tricky thing, right, because you trust them,
Speaker 1: but also like there's just a little jealousy. But I
Speaker 1: feel like if there wasn't jealousy, you wouldn't really care
Speaker 1: about your significant other, would you. There has to be
Speaker 1: a little jealousy. Imagine if you're like, yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: I don't care if you think he's attractive, would you
Speaker 1: be like, well, I'll trust you. I don't think anything's
Speaker 1: gonna happen. I don't want to think it all depends
Speaker 1: on how long you guys have been dating. At the beginning,
Speaker 1: you're like, I guess a little bit more territorial, and
Speaker 1: you know you want all the attention, like you want
Speaker 1: attention to stay between the both of you. But I
Speaker 1: think after like a couple of years, I think it's
Speaker 1: naturally normal to be physically attracted to someone else. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, of course I'm not saying that. I'm saying
Speaker 1: those your eyes around anyone anyway. Well, so I just
Speaker 1: talked to let me also, I just want to say
Speaker 1: really quickly, no, and that's not what I'm saying. You're
Speaker 1: going to be physically attracted to a lot of people
Speaker 1: in this world when you're in a relationship. What I'm
Speaker 1: saying is you know, the question is what about having
Speaker 1: close friends of the opposite sex when you're in a relationship,
Speaker 1: And I think you absolutely can be. It just all
Speaker 1: depends on the friendship, you know. Well, so I just
Speaker 1: was hanging out with Ashley before coming to this recording,
Speaker 1: and she made mention, how when you guys watched the
Speaker 1: episode two of the Batchel right last night, she was like, oh,
Speaker 1: that guys so hot, Like guys so hot. But then
Speaker 1: if it were flipped and yours were watching Bachelor and
Speaker 1: if you said something like damn, that girl is really hot,
Speaker 1: she would be like, wait, you can't say that exactly,
Speaker 1: and and so like I kind of joked around with
Speaker 1: her a little bit, because of course, when you're signific
Speaker 1: others like oh he's really hot, he's really hot, and
Speaker 1: you're like, okay, that's enough. There we go moving on.
Speaker 1: We're watching House Hunters, um you think, because and I
Speaker 1: think I can relate to that. I know, if I say,
Speaker 1: if I'm with someone and I say like, oh, that
Speaker 1: person is good looking, I'm saying it to say it,
Speaker 1: but I'm not saying it because I would ever act
Speaker 1: upon it. I trust. I don't know if I can
Speaker 1: trust that they won't act upon that feeling. So, but
Speaker 1: I guess the point that I'm trying to make is,
Speaker 1: so if Ashley and Jared are dating, and I'm sorry
Speaker 1: to keep bringing it back to the whole Joshley thing,
Speaker 1: but Ashley is good friends with someone but says like, so,
Speaker 1: she's good friends with the guy, and it tells you
Speaker 1: not often, but has told you in the past. This
Speaker 1: guy's really attractive, but he's also a really good friend.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't be put off by that because you trust her.
Speaker 1: I'd be fine with it. But so that's the thing
Speaker 1: that you trust her, but you still have some jealousy,
Speaker 1: but it wouldn't affect your relationship, because it would never
Speaker 1: affect a relationship. No, I don't think it should. That's
Speaker 1: kind of contradictory to what you were saying earlier, though
Speaker 1: not at all. I don't think you're insecure. I don't
Speaker 1: think you should project your insecurities onto your significant other.
Speaker 1: What I'm saying is the fact that there shouldn't. I think,
Speaker 1: of course, it's natural to have a certain level of
Speaker 1: jealousy about it. Okay, well, I'm gonna ask you guys
Speaker 1: this question not off topic, but kind of on topic. Um,
Speaker 1: we enter relationships with our own insecurities based on our
Speaker 1: previous relationships or whatever, relationships with family or stuff that
Speaker 1: that's happened in our past. At what point do you
Speaker 1: think it is a healthy option to start a couple
Speaker 1: of therapy? As soon as you bring the question up, Yeah,
Speaker 1: as soon as you deem it necessary. I guess I've
Speaker 1: I've suggested in the past for relationships. I've never done it,
Speaker 1: but I've suggested it. Do you think it's like I
Speaker 1: feel like you should be more of a prevention than
Speaker 1: as opposed to a fixer upper. I think that if
Speaker 1: it's necessary, though, I don't think there's anything wrong. I
Speaker 1: think especially in I don't it's this is gonna sound
Speaker 1: what you say, but especially in our world where everything
Speaker 1: is very public. Um, there's a lot of disconnects, miscommunications,
Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff. I think that it could
Speaker 1: be very, very beneficial to have an unbiased, neutral party
Speaker 1: involved in the not like the questioning process, but like
Speaker 1: the reasoning and logical side of things. Umah. Like I said,
Speaker 1: I actively agree with you. I think it's a healthy
Speaker 1: often to start it, or at least go kind of
Speaker 1: like working out, you know, when you work out, you're
Speaker 1: working out to prevent like like being unhealthy and all
Speaker 1: that stuff. You don't go because it's your last resort.
Speaker 1: I feel like I've done The only time I've started
Speaker 1: doing therapy was on the show when We're on the Batchelor,
Speaker 1: and I thought it was such deliberating experience having a
Speaker 1: person that doesn't know you at all give you an
Speaker 1: unbiased opinion on things. And um, I think I spoke
Speaker 1: about this before, but it's not news. But Nick and
Speaker 1: I did do a couple of therapy, and um, I
Speaker 1: remember the therapist saying that it's an important thing to
Speaker 1: do before it gets to the point where it becomes
Speaker 1: the last resort. Because oh, that's that is so friends
Speaker 1: to hear that, because because it ends up being Um,
Speaker 1: it's like when a therapy ends up showcasing why you
Speaker 1: shouldn't be together, when it's that's the when you're hanging
Speaker 1: on by like a sin threat. Yeah, I mean, listen you.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think it's also again, if you
Speaker 1: feel like it's best for you guys to go to
Speaker 1: therapist and really air out your grievances, I'm down for that.
Speaker 1: I don't even know if it's an area out of grievances.
Speaker 1: I think that. I just think it's beneficial. So anyways,
Speaker 1: it just opens up communication that might not have been
Speaker 1: there before because you just feel very comfortable in the
Speaker 1: therapist room. Yeah yeah, yeah, you do. Um being what
Speaker 1: were you gonna say? I was gonna say, so one
Speaker 1: other suggestion instead of going a couple of therapy. I
Speaker 1: have a pretty good, full proof plan on how to
Speaker 1: handle those types of arguments and relationships, whatever it might be.
Speaker 1: And I think at the end of the day, what
Speaker 1: we can all agree upon is that food is king right.
Speaker 1: You know, whenever you're hungry, you're a little bit more agitated, irritated,
Speaker 1: whatever it is. And the best way to curb that
Speaker 1: hunger is it curve or curb that hunger. Curb, curb
Speaker 1: that hunger. The best way to curb that hunger is
Speaker 1: by ordering some delicious, juicy Omaha sticks. I know we've
Speaker 1: talked about in the past Jared and I's favorite favorite
Speaker 1: sticks of all time stakes. It's the best refrigerator is
Speaker 1: just full. Well, your freezer is your refrigerator. Refrigerator. I
Speaker 1: like to ask you guys like, how like how much
Speaker 1: do you guys love to steak well, and you were
Speaker 1: talking about the last time we dove me back. You're
Speaker 1: like raving about these stakes. I was gravy about the sticks.
Speaker 1: That's absolutely right. In addition to be in addition to
Speaker 1: being able to settle feuds amongst significant others, et cetera,
Speaker 1: we also have Father's Day, which is right around the corner,
Speaker 1: and one thing your father is definitely going to love
Speaker 1: is Omaha Sticks Father's Day package, which includes many incredible
Speaker 1: things ready Dean too tender to beef for chicken fried snakes,
Speaker 1: to bonus pork shots for all people, Maha Burgers for jump,
Speaker 1: twelve bounces of all beef meatballs, one pound of apples,
Speaker 1: one Omaha Steaks seasoning packet, plus kept four more grill
Speaker 1: ready Ohmaha Steaks Burgers pre purchase. Oh, that was the
Speaker 1: most ridiculous, guys spot we've ever done. That's a good
Speaker 1: um But in all seriousness, Omaha Stacks incredible, super conveniently
Speaker 1: get chipped to your house in this big um like
Speaker 1: ice chest. Basically start from ice chest, you get a
Speaker 1: whole bunch of stuff. The qualities of the highest of qualities,
Speaker 1: the highest cuts of of all of these meats. Um
Speaker 1: super customizable that even give you the option to customize
Speaker 1: your cuts for your dad's grilling needs to the recipes,
Speaker 1: wine pairings, and their del it to your door delivered
Speaker 1: straight to the door. Um. This the experience I had
Speaker 1: with Omaha Steaks was better than I've had in the
Speaker 1: past because I was out of town and mine got delivered.
Speaker 1: But in the past my roommate got perishable or I
Speaker 1: got perishable foods delivered to my house and my roommate
Speaker 1: didn't put them in the fridge, and I was gone
Speaker 1: for like a week, so I got back and it
Speaker 1: was all rotted. Um. This time, Fortunately, Omaha does a
Speaker 1: good enough job of packaging and using dry ice to
Speaker 1: kind of maintain and preserve everything until you're able to
Speaker 1: get home and throw it in the fridge. Um. So
Speaker 1: check it out. Go to Omaha Steaks dot com and
Speaker 1: type in Dean that's d E A N into the
Speaker 1: search bar and add Father's Day packaged to your car.
Speaker 1: It's only gonna cost you forty nine cents, And I
Speaker 1: honestly think that for a Father's Day gift, that's pretty good.
Speaker 1: I got my dad Omaha Steaks for Father's Day. There
Speaker 1: you go. Did you use code Dean. I did use
Speaker 1: codean nine and nine. But make sure you, guys, don't
Speaker 1: wait on this to offer and soon, so make sure
Speaker 1: you go to Omaha Steaks dot com. Type Dan D
Speaker 1: E A N in the search bar, grab your dad
Speaker 1: some Omaha Steaks and fire up that grill and it's
Speaker 1: only gonna cost you a get one more time cents.
Speaker 1: That's seventy eight percent. Often it's incredible deal. Um. If
Speaker 1: you don't feel like getting your father some Momaha sticks
Speaker 1: for Father's Day, feel free to get me some. Feel
Speaker 1: free to get Jared something. I'll take them, send him
Speaker 1: straight to I Heart Studios here in Burbank, California. We
Speaker 1: appreciate that you will take them MoMA dot com. Type
Speaker 1: Dean into the search bar and you will be good
Speaker 1: to go for Father's Day. Check them out. Let's move
Speaker 1: on to segment to um of a little known show
Speaker 1: that we might have heard of once twice We've We've
Speaker 1: been on that show, dabbled on this show a little bit.
Speaker 1: The Bachelorette Vanessa. Did you watch BATTERT last night? I didn't.
Speaker 1: I'm guys, I'm still in the process of unpacking my
Speaker 1: entire life from l A to Montreal and go ahead,
Speaker 1: good talking about and hang up the phone. We'll call
Speaker 1: you back in twenty minutes after the segments. Over all, right, well, Jared,
Speaker 1: what do you think of a Bachelor atte last night?
Speaker 1: Give me a recap? So pretty much what happens. There
Speaker 1: is a group day in the beginning, there's some sort
Speaker 1: of obstacle of chorus that Lincoln ends up winning. And
Speaker 1: then is the guy that I find you right with
Speaker 1: the yeah with the voice, very good looking guy. They
Speaker 1: were later on the cocktail party. He took Becca first,
Speaker 1: which apparently nobody really enjoyed. Which I can't stand when
Speaker 1: other guys complain about a guy taking the bachelor away first.
Speaker 1: How about he takes some self responsibility. You be the
Speaker 1: aggressor and you go up to Becca and you say, hey,
Speaker 1: I want us to do do you ever? Did you ever?
Speaker 1: Takes absolutely not. But I also didn't complain when other
Speaker 1: guys took the first. I was like, okay, I held back,
Speaker 1: Like that's my own fault. I could have done more.
Speaker 1: So Lincoln takes her away first. Becca gives Lincoln a
Speaker 1: picture from the obstacle. From the obstacle course date, Lincoln
Speaker 1: is being a little obnoxious he goes back in front
Speaker 1: of the other guys. He starts like kissing the picture,
Speaker 1: telling the other guys how much it means to him.
Speaker 1: He's kind of like really playing the part at this point.
Speaker 1: So one of the other guys, I forget his name, No, Connor,
Speaker 1: Connor Connor takes you know, a little um he gets
Speaker 1: a little piste off about this, takes the picture, ends
Speaker 1: up throwing it and breaking it. It was just the
Speaker 1: most absurd over the thing I've ever seen. I really
Speaker 1: thought both guys were in the table, very childish. So
Speaker 1: child is about it, Like, Connor, don't throw the picture,
Speaker 1: just let Lincoln do his thing whatever. And then Lincoln,
Speaker 1: don't be so obnoxious to go in front of the
Speaker 1: guys and like start kissing the picture. And then like
Speaker 1: I hated when Lincoln went to Becca and was like
Speaker 1: I felt physically threatened, And it's like, okay, that did
Speaker 1: did kind of threatened to beat you off. Let me
Speaker 1: ask you this, if you were in Becca's shoes and
Speaker 1: Becca's heels right now, who would you be looking at
Speaker 1: more with Who would you look at with more judgment?
Speaker 1: At Lincoln or at Connor? Lincoln for idolizing this picture
Speaker 1: so much or Connor for chucking it into the swimming pool.
Speaker 1: I agree. I think so too. I think the amount
Speaker 1: of anger that he showed over something so trivial and
Speaker 1: meaningless is a very big red flag in my opinion.
Speaker 1: I agree. I thought it was very childish, and I
Speaker 1: also thought it was interesting that Connor decided not to
Speaker 1: wear a jacket at the Rose ceremony. I know that's
Speaker 1: a small little thing, but he was the only guy
Speaker 1: not wearing any type of jacket at the Rose ceremony,
Speaker 1: and it just seems like a very interesting choice. Really.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's only a dress fashion thing. It's really nothing,
Speaker 1: but just seemed like a very interesting choice. There was
Speaker 1: someone else that wasn't wearing a jacket, Oh Jordan's Yeah,
Speaker 1: I forgot about his season. I wore socks on my season.
Speaker 1: Who doesn't. I don't wear socks currently, but when I
Speaker 1: wear dress ues, I wear socks. Yeah. First there was
Speaker 1: a guy on this season, I think, doing war socks.
Speaker 1: And then there was there was a one on one
Speaker 1: where they smashed a bunch of TVs and stuff that
Speaker 1: reminded back of Ari Blake. What do we think of Blake?
Speaker 1: He's a good looking guy. Yeah, they seemed to get along.
Speaker 1: I it was it was fine, it was good. I
Speaker 1: think he'll go far. How how soon did you get
Speaker 1: your one on one in your season? I got it
Speaker 1: week three or four. It was the first week we traveled.
Speaker 1: We went to New York and I got my first one. Okay,
Speaker 1: same we went to South Carolina. I think it's got
Speaker 1: to be challenging to get the one on the very
Speaker 1: first week. But that's how long into your season were
Speaker 1: you when you got your first one on the neck?
Speaker 1: I got this. I was still at the Man in
Speaker 1: the Mansion, so I got it. Danille melt he got
Speaker 1: the first one and I got the second one. Okay,
Speaker 1: so not the worst. Okay, Bleak's giving me some decent vibes.
Speaker 1: I like Blake too. Decent guy. What do you think
Speaker 1: about the whole Culton situations like that he dated. It's
Speaker 1: funny that this kind of ties back a little bit
Speaker 1: to what we're talking about earlier on is Vanessa. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you know this, but there's Colton who's
Speaker 1: on the show, and we've talked about him a little
Speaker 1: bit before you left. He dated Tia who was on
Speaker 1: our season. Um and Tia and and Becca are obviously friends.
Speaker 1: So Colton and Tia dated each other back in January,
Speaker 1: and then Becca got announced his bachelorette in February. Colton
Speaker 1: decided to leave Tia, go on bachelorette and date Becca.
Speaker 1: And we don't necessarily know exactly the timelines of events
Speaker 1: of how it unfolded, but it just looks a little
Speaker 1: suspect on Colton's part, which I think he handled appropriately.
Speaker 1: He didn't bring it up the first time you met her,
Speaker 1: but the second time that he met with Becca, he
Speaker 1: decided to tell her that he had a relationship with
Speaker 1: one of her friends. And I think that it was
Speaker 1: the appropriate, mature way to handle it. I think it
Speaker 1: was smart to get ahead of it absolutely, like do
Speaker 1: you go to Becca, you tell her what happened instead
Speaker 1: of her hearing it from someone else and then her
Speaker 1: having to go to you, because that creates a little
Speaker 1: dishonesty right there. At least he was truthful. I just
Speaker 1: thought it was interesting the way he articulated it, where
Speaker 1: he said, like, the timing wasn't right with Tia, but
Speaker 1: the timing is right with you. It was like, that's
Speaker 1: an interesting way to put it, seeing how she's the
Speaker 1: Bachelorette and Tia was almost a bachelorette like it just
Speaker 1: that was a little suspect. But he seems like a
Speaker 1: good guy, Like he gives off good vibes, like similar
Speaker 1: to Blake, where like I see Colton and I'm like,
Speaker 1: he seems nice guy, like a nice guy. And so
Speaker 1: I just think that moment in on itself was a
Speaker 1: little cringe worthy for the fact that like, well, you know,
Speaker 1: t and I back in January, literally a month and
Speaker 1: a half before we before I went to Bachelorette, Like
Speaker 1: in this episode he said they spent a weekend together
Speaker 1: if I remember correctly, which isn't bad. And and Colton
Speaker 1: is the only one from this show that I've actually
Speaker 1: met in person, so maybe I can under I like
Speaker 1: him a little bit more just because I know more
Speaker 1: about him, you know, And so I think he was
Speaker 1: a super sweet guy. I think he's a very genuine
Speaker 1: and very kind and honest guy. So um, let's I
Speaker 1: also just this might sound bad, but I also don't
Speaker 1: think it's really the worst thing in the world. The
Speaker 1: fact that he like maybe he wanted take the opportunity
Speaker 1: to go on the Bachelorette and he wasn't really feeling
Speaker 1: of a Tia and so it's like, I'm curious to
Speaker 1: see who reached out to who. It's like, you stand it.
Speaker 1: This is the story that I've been told from unnamed sources,
Speaker 1: is that Tia slid into Colton's d m Okay, that's
Speaker 1: that changes everything. It does, that really changes everything. But
Speaker 1: then who initiated the day, because it does change everything,
Speaker 1: it absolutely does. How it happened, I don't know, because
Speaker 1: Colton had not been announced, he hadn't been cast for
Speaker 1: the show at that point. How Tia found his Instagram profile.
Speaker 1: Who knows. That's just what I've been told, And that's
Speaker 1: very interesting. Colton being you know, he's the version of
Speaker 1: the season, so obviously they didn't have any like physical
Speaker 1: well look virgin or not. It comes down so I
Speaker 1: think when you're the lead of the show, you want
Speaker 1: to make sure that you end up taking someone who's
Speaker 1: into you and not into the fact that you're you
Speaker 1: because you're the lead of the show. Well, what's exciting
Speaker 1: is in the very next episode we'll get Tia that
Speaker 1: will be there on the group date, and so we
Speaker 1: can see the conversation happened between the yes. But also
Speaker 1: so why didn't you agree that Sometimes maybe you go
Speaker 1: on the show without really that meant much expectations and
Speaker 1: then you meet the person and then you think, oh wow, wow,
Speaker 1: this could work. I didn't expect you ever thought I
Speaker 1: was going to ever go on on the Bachelor. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I'm never going to do anything like that.
Speaker 1: I got submitted onto it, I got the call, thought
Speaker 1: it was a hoax, and then I kind of went
Speaker 1: along with your thinking, Oh, let me just be haf far.
Speaker 1: It can take it, not ever thinking they were going
Speaker 1: to pick me, and I never thought I was going
Speaker 1: to make it past night one. Yeah, I think, Um,
Speaker 1: I think it's it's such a tricky thing because people
Speaker 1: see a one dimensional version of people on the show
Speaker 1: and they don't really get to see everything else that
Speaker 1: goes on. And I don't know how it was for
Speaker 1: you guys, but I really fell for Nick. My first
Speaker 1: one on one with him, it was just like out
Speaker 1: of this world and I was like, oh I'm in trouble,
Speaker 1: Like actually like this guy that's adorable, that's so cute.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but do okay. So that's that leads into
Speaker 1: the next question. Then, for Becca's sake, do you think
Speaker 1: that she needs to ask Tas permission if she can
Speaker 1: take Sulton on the show. Um, I wouldn't. I would
Speaker 1: permission is like it's a I don't know if I
Speaker 1: would ask for a permission. I think I would. If
Speaker 1: I Rebecca, I would have the conversation with her to
Speaker 1: see if Tia is comfortable with the idea of them
Speaker 1: possibly dating. I think that she should ask for advice,
Speaker 1: not permission. Yeah, I wouldn't say permission. I think it
Speaker 1: would be an honest thing, and honest it was. It
Speaker 1: would be a conversation. That would be she's trying to
Speaker 1: see us, so she needs to have that conversation. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't necessarily permission. Yeah. If I was, I'd go to
Speaker 1: tea and say, hey, listen, Colton came up, told me
Speaker 1: you guys hung out? What's the situation? And I think,
Speaker 1: do you feel comfortable? Do you feel comfortable? Are you
Speaker 1: okay with it? She also has like, how many guys
Speaker 1: at this point that you can be dating? So it's
Speaker 1: not like he's the only person that she can be dating.
Speaker 1: I think there's four guys this season that can get
Speaker 1: away with what Coulton just did, and Coulton is one
Speaker 1: of them. I think Colton Blake, Jason, Colton Blake, and
Speaker 1: Garrett are the three I think that could get away
Speaker 1: with having dated Tia. I agree with anyone else you
Speaker 1: have sent home on the spot, like she's that guy
Speaker 1: from Minnesota the very first night, Jake, because I want
Speaker 1: to get to know you. And so thank goodness for
Speaker 1: Colton being the sexy man that he is, because if
Speaker 1: he wasn't, he would have been next. We would have
Speaker 1: forgotten his name by now. But sure enough, he's handsome,
Speaker 1: he's got some boys charmed to him. Face saved the day.
Speaker 1: Face saved the day, as I'm sure it has in
Speaker 1: the past as well. Anyways, it'll be interesting to see
Speaker 1: what kind of happens there. Um, I think that we
Speaker 1: have some more to kind of talk about later on
Speaker 1: regarding that. Obviously, we haven't really seen a lot of
Speaker 1: it play out yet, so it'll be interesting to kind
Speaker 1: of see what happens. Vanessa need to figure out your
Speaker 1: ABC subscription, get your TV unpacked, whatever it, and started
Speaker 1: watching the show. Obviously, you know, we're not necessarily specifically
Speaker 1: a Bachelor Bachelor at recapping podcast, so would be me
Speaker 1: not make an entire point of it. But it's good.
Speaker 1: It's good information to apply to real world dating. We're
Speaker 1: involved in it totally. It's you know, And so that's
Speaker 1: the thing. I mean, if you if you want to
Speaker 1: date someone that your friend has dated in the past,
Speaker 1: I think it's times it can be important to ask
Speaker 1: for permission. Oh well, it all depends on the circumstance.
Speaker 1: Like apparently Tim Colton just spent a weekend together and
Speaker 1: then it didn't work out, and then he went on
Speaker 1: the show. So for Becca, I don't know if it
Speaker 1: would be like, hey, can is is it? Is it
Speaker 1: okay if I date Colton? I think Rebecca it might
Speaker 1: be better if Vanessa, like you said, go up to
Speaker 1: her and say, um, so what happened? I think that's
Speaker 1: the first thing. Becca just needs to get all the
Speaker 1: information before she can really make her decision, because she's
Speaker 1: only heard from Colon and now she's gonna hear from
Speaker 1: Tim next week. So it could be two completely different stories.
Speaker 1: It could be the exact same story to you could
Speaker 1: be like, listen, we spent a couple of days together,
Speaker 1: it was good, didn't really go anywhere. You should absolutely
Speaker 1: pursue this guy because he's a really good guy. Didn't
Speaker 1: work out with us, you know, or to you could
Speaker 1: be like we actually spent a month together and he
Speaker 1: told me he loved me, and then he found out
Speaker 1: I was in the Bachelor and he went on the show.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's the later, but you know, who
Speaker 1: the hell knows. We'll find out next week the Ladder,
Speaker 1: the Ladder. What I say later later, Well, I agree,
Speaker 1: I think that there's like I said, there's a lot
Speaker 1: more to be said about this story. Um, one thing
Speaker 1: we you know for sure is that Tea is going
Speaker 1: to be in Paradise. And one thing, uh, I guess
Speaker 1: you're right, it's not for sure, but I guess we
Speaker 1: can safely assume that to will be in Paradise. I'd
Speaker 1: be shocked if she wasn't there. And I just I
Speaker 1: pray to the Bachelor gods that Tia did one thing
Speaker 1: before going to Paradise. Do you know what it is?
Speaker 1: I just I just hope I closed my eyes, and
Speaker 1: I wish that Tia was listening to this podcast not
Speaker 1: too long ago and used the Beach Body on demand
Speaker 1: subscription that we were giving all of our listeners for free.
Speaker 1: Because if she's going to the beach, she needs to
Speaker 1: be in top peak physical condition. I mean she looks
Speaker 1: good alright, of course, of course, but obviously we all
Speaker 1: like to, you know, get a little bit tone and
Speaker 1: fit for summer. And if you're going down to Mexico,
Speaker 1: you're gonna be on national television. Beach Body on Demand
Speaker 1: is the thing you should be using to get yourself
Speaker 1: into physical condition where you're feeling comfortable with yourself and
Speaker 1: you're ready. So I know you guys have heard us
Speaker 1: talk about Beach Body on Demand before. I'm amped up
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Speaker 1: you know, obviously mostly and we said we weren't going
Speaker 1: to talk about that on the podcast. I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: stop talking right now. Actually, I'm gonna keep talking about
Speaker 1: Beach Body on Demand. Uh. Sometimes the workasts can be
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Speaker 1: And he's been doing the hip hop ads people. He's
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Speaker 1: I just love the convenience of it. You don't have
Speaker 1: to go to the gym. I don't know. I preach
Speaker 1: about this every single time we do one of these ads,
Speaker 1: but it's been to work out we can do it
Speaker 1: from home because especially me, like even this morning, I
Speaker 1: had to leave my house by eight o'clock and I'm like,
Speaker 1: all right, I'm gonna wake up at six thirty to
Speaker 1: get to the gym by seven, workout for an hour,
Speaker 1: be home, And I was like, wait, why would I
Speaker 1: do that when I can wake up at seven fifteen,
Speaker 1: do a ten minute workout in my house, shower, get ready,
Speaker 1: and be out the door. So it's just so much
Speaker 1: more convenient, so much easier. There are times where I've
Speaker 1: gone to the gym and left immediately afterwards because it's
Speaker 1: so crowded and so overly packed, and I'm like, what
Speaker 1: am I doing. I'm just gonna go home, get beach
Speaker 1: Body and work out from home because it's far easier.
Speaker 1: And then he needs a tub of ice cream. But
Speaker 1: with beach Body that actually actually help as well. So yeah,
Speaker 1: one more time, text D E A N To get
Speaker 1: your free trop membership started. Check it out. I'm sure
Speaker 1: you're gonna love it. Um. Let's move on to the
Speaker 1: third segment of today's episode, Emails and my favorite segment.
Speaker 1: We would like to welcome Mark back from her You're back.
Speaker 1: Your voice just gives me butterflies. Every time I was
Speaker 1: hoping we could start, I was hoping we could start
Speaker 1: with Matt from Minnesota. If that's possible, we can from Minnesota.
Speaker 1: So Matt made a comment in the Facebook group. He
Speaker 1: emailed both emails because there's a Instagram email and the
Speaker 1: ice suckit dating and I heeart media email just for
Speaker 1: the other ones to the so that's all go the
Speaker 1: same place. Sorry for talking too much, um, And I
Speaker 1: think we could give Matt some help, but I'd love
Speaker 1: to help Matt out all that's reassuring that if you
Speaker 1: send an email it will get to us somehow. Yes,
Speaker 1: we will read it. Thank you, Matt. There's a girl
Speaker 1: who works with the gym I too. She's a lifeguard.
Speaker 1: I think she's really cute. Could I get some advice
Speaker 1: on how to maybe introduce myself or break the ice?
Speaker 1: I know her name, that's a start. Also, not gonna lie.
Speaker 1: I did a social media creep and it appears we
Speaker 1: have some stuff in common. Is sliding into the d
Speaker 1: M still a thing. I'm a guy that has kind
Speaker 1: of some confidence issues as well. It's really bad anxiety
Speaker 1: and twenty four and have only had one serious girlfriend.
Speaker 1: I literally almost have no idea what I'm doing here. Help.
Speaker 1: I suck at dating and flirting and talking to girls
Speaker 1: in general. Matt, You're thank you so much for emailing Matt.
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna I'm gonna come right out and say
Speaker 1: it and be honest with you, guys. I did a
Speaker 1: social media creep as well on Matt. Matt, how the
Speaker 1: hell do you find Matt? It's only his first name.
Speaker 1: He's in the Facebook group And you know what, Matt,
Speaker 1: if you're listening to this podcast, which I hope you are.
Speaker 1: You are a good looking dude. All right, you need
Speaker 1: to have some confidence. Yeah, I'm gonna do that to
Speaker 1: get on the Facebook group check them out. Um, I
Speaker 1: think that he should have have some confidence. I know
Speaker 1: it's easy to say that and it's hard to put
Speaker 1: into practice. I I myself have struggled with confidence issues
Speaker 1: for a large out of my life. I still do,
Speaker 1: honestly on a daily basis, not just you, but everybody injured.
Speaker 1: It means to be like, of course Stine suffers from
Speaker 1: confidence issues. But so this is what I was going
Speaker 1: to respond to on the Facebook group, but I decided
Speaker 1: to save it for the podcast. I think since she's
Speaker 1: a lifeguard, and this is coming from a former lifeguard.
Speaker 1: I was a lifeguard for two years in high school,
Speaker 1: everyone idea, Well, now you do, Um, I think that
Speaker 1: you should jump in the pool and pull a scot dude.
Speaker 1: I was just thinking the same thing. Help help Fike drought,
Speaker 1: have her jumping after you. And even if she doesn't
Speaker 1: jump in after you, with which all honestly she probably won't,
Speaker 1: you can at least have the ice broken at that point.
Speaker 1: Laugh about it over drinks, over dinner, over lunch, coffee,
Speaker 1: whatever it is. I think that's the best way to go.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's the best way to go,
Speaker 1: but I love it. I think it would be the
Speaker 1: most entertaining way to go. I think it's a way
Speaker 1: to go. I'm not sure it's the best way to go.
Speaker 1: I'm looking at maths profile. Now. Look, I mean Mats.
Speaker 1: MAT's got a lot to offer a woman. MAT's got
Speaker 1: a dog, he loves dog, donate life. He's clearly, you know,
Speaker 1: motivated by charity, give a truism. Is very attractive. And yes,
Speaker 1: Matt seems like a good guy with a lot going on.
Speaker 1: I mean, seriously, short of faking a drowning. Should he
Speaker 1: just go up to her and say, hello, introduce himself.
Speaker 1: My name is Matt. Of course, to ask, it is
Speaker 1: a lot to ask. I don't know, you guys are
Speaker 1: steering him in the wrong direction. Here, should you have
Speaker 1: like a line? Ready, here's the thing, but the thick
Speaker 1: blood things in your mouth? All right, here we go.
Speaker 1: Dean's off the reservation. Let's make this a cinematic. I'm
Speaker 1: not on any dating app, but if someone that I'm
Speaker 1: kind of interested in, we'll slide into my d M
Speaker 1: S I will definitely write them back, So I don't
Speaker 1: think it's like an old school thing to do or like, no,
Speaker 1: I think you should definitely try sliding into her d
Speaker 1: MS if you're too scared to break the ice in person. Well, Vanessa,
Speaker 1: as a woman, would you rather have somebody slide into
Speaker 1: your dem dm s or come up to you either
Speaker 1: or really it doesn't matter. Nope? But okay, so here's
Speaker 1: the risk you run by sliding into the d M.
Speaker 1: Say he d MS her gets no response, then he
Speaker 1: can no longer approach her unless he becomes But he
Speaker 1: knows all he needs to know at that point, doesn't he? He?
Speaker 1: I No, no, no, maybe she because then you could
Speaker 1: be like, oh, well, maybe she just didn't see it.
Speaker 1: Maybe she hasn't had time to respond. You can make
Speaker 1: up excuses as to why she never got back. But
Speaker 1: if you just go up to approacher or you fake drown,
Speaker 1: then I'm liking your face to face and you're you're
Speaker 1: forced to see if there will be a spark between
Speaker 1: the two of you, and if you do feel that spark,
Speaker 1: you have the opportunity to ask here to a coffee,
Speaker 1: to lunch, dinner, drinks, whatever it is. That's my that's
Speaker 1: my two cents. And I also agree that it's easier
Speaker 1: that she works at the gym instead of just meeting
Speaker 1: her at the gym, because that's kind of awkward to
Speaker 1: be like going up someone with her headphones in. Like
Speaker 1: she works at the gym, you can easily start a
Speaker 1: conversation with her and just kind of try to keep
Speaker 1: the conversation going and see how it goes. And Matt, So,
Speaker 1: when I was in college, I worked out at the
Speaker 1: gym often. That's probably the best shape of my life.
Speaker 1: And like I said, I was at the gym all
Speaker 1: the time. There were so many cute girls that either
Speaker 1: work there or went there often that I had zero
Speaker 1: confidence in approaching, and I never approached them. And like,
Speaker 1: listening back in hindsight, I'm like, why the heck did
Speaker 1: I just go up and say hi to them? Oh?
Speaker 1: I always think that, and it's happen. You get rejected. Okay,
Speaker 1: you try. You know you there's going to be someone
Speaker 1: else that you're going to be interested anyway, So exactly,
Speaker 1: don't regret it. Regret going try it out. If it
Speaker 1: doesn't work out, then hey, I least you can walk
Speaker 1: away saying that you and to continue the theme of
Speaker 1: this episode, I think that even if you do, unfortunately
Speaker 1: get rejected, maybe you don't like her, you reject her.
Speaker 1: I think that you guys could then have a friendship
Speaker 1: to where every time you go to the gym, then
Speaker 1: you'd be like, hey, you're like, good to see you friend.
Speaker 1: How totally did you see the quote on Matt's page.
Speaker 1: It's the classic Wayne Gretzky quote quote that's exactly following
Speaker 1: take your shot, all right? This is from T I'm
Speaker 1: twenty one. I've been in a committed relationship for two years.
Speaker 1: He's twenty three. We often talk about getting married after
Speaker 1: I finished school in a few years. Over the past
Speaker 1: few months, I've noticed myself becoming more and more unhappy
Speaker 1: in the relationship. There are key characteristics I want in
Speaker 1: a husband that he doesn't have. There are also some
Speaker 1: significant love language differences that are causing me to feel
Speaker 1: not loved. I truly love him. He's my best friend.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine life without him, but I'm starting to
Speaker 1: not be able to picture forever with him either. Recently,
Speaker 1: a guy I used to have feelings for moved back
Speaker 1: into town. I see him once a week at a
Speaker 1: church event that we both attend, but my boyfriend doesn't.
Speaker 1: Problem is I can't stop thinking about him. I feel
Speaker 1: horrible and guilty about it. This has never happened before,
Speaker 1: and I've always thought it was crazy that someone could
Speaker 1: develop feelings for someone outside of their partner. What's happening
Speaker 1: to me? What do I do? Is it normal to
Speaker 1: question things in a relationship like this? Are we just
Speaker 1: going through a dry spell? And it make matters worse?
Speaker 1: My boyfriend's sister is getting married this summer and I
Speaker 1: am the maid of honor. This is a stick of choice.
Speaker 1: Then I will say this. I've heard of the tweet.
Speaker 1: I don't know what the phrase is, like a tweear
Speaker 1: curse or something like after you date someone, for like
Speaker 1: once you hit the two year mark, exact, when you
Speaker 1: start re evaluating a relationship. Have you guys heard of that?
Speaker 1: I've heard that specifically. But I know obviously after you're
Speaker 1: dating someone, things are gonna change love, you know, changes,
Speaker 1: they might get a little stale. You need to like
Speaker 1: actively work on, you know, regniting the fire in that relationship.
Speaker 1: Um yeah, I really I think relationships go through their
Speaker 1: ups and downs, and right now there she's fealing a
Speaker 1: little bit of a down and um, well, this also
Speaker 1: relates to like what we're talking about earlier, like being
Speaker 1: attracted to someone, um, you know, but not acting upon
Speaker 1: those feelings and exactly, I think the problem with this
Speaker 1: one is like listen, of course you're gonna be attracted
Speaker 1: other people, and like you might even be curious about
Speaker 1: what what what a relationship would look like with that person,
Speaker 1: even if you are currently in one with somebody else.
Speaker 1: This is the issue that I have is that you
Speaker 1: go to once a week at a church event that
Speaker 1: you guys both attend, but your boyfriend doesn't as your
Speaker 1: boyfriend know that you are seeing this guy on a
Speaker 1: weekly basis that you might have an attraction to. But also,
Speaker 1: she says earlier, there are key characteristics that want in
Speaker 1: a husband that he doesn't have. I can't help but assume,
Speaker 1: and this is an assumption in bringing between the lines
Speaker 1: that church and religion is one of those things. Potentially
Speaker 1: those two together. I think he needs to have a
Speaker 1: sit down conversation with her boyfriend to figure out what
Speaker 1: his values are and his morals and he wants out
Speaker 1: of life. And if it doesn't match up, you are
Speaker 1: still funny one You have so much time to meet someone,
Speaker 1: You have so much time to explore and dat other people,
Speaker 1: and I think it'll all end up working outbreak. Do
Speaker 1: you guys ever watch New Girl? I was watching an
Speaker 1: episode last night. I recently have gotten into it and
Speaker 1: have been binging it. I got to the episode where Jess,
Speaker 1: who obviously is the main character, was dating Sam. Do
Speaker 1: you guys remember Sam? Yeah, the tall, attractive guy. Um,
Speaker 1: And I was just watched this episode last night where
Speaker 1: Sam breaks up with Jess before Schmidt and Cecy's wedding
Speaker 1: because Sam didn't want Jess to have to cut him
Speaker 1: out of all of their wedding pictures. Because at this point,
Speaker 1: if this girl goes to her boyfriend's sister's wedding as
Speaker 1: the maid of honor, she will be forever tied to
Speaker 1: that wedding, that relationship, especially that that day, And so
Speaker 1: that's you really have to have your mind made up
Speaker 1: at least by then, because if you're going to break
Speaker 1: up with him, obviously we don't want you to breakup
Speaker 1: with him or anything. We're not we're not encouraging that
Speaker 1: at all. Just realized that you will go to the
Speaker 1: wedding as a maid of honor, and you will be
Speaker 1: part of that relationship. I would also ask if he
Speaker 1: if you are the maid of honor because you're that
Speaker 1: close to his sister, or you the maid of honor
Speaker 1: because you are dating her brother, Like that's a big
Speaker 1: descrepant to be close friends. I would imagine, right, you
Speaker 1: wouldn't make a maid of honor because oh, he's just
Speaker 1: my brother's girlfriend. So I would imagine that they're going
Speaker 1: to be close friends. So maybe that's okay, Like, hopefully
Speaker 1: don't put more pressure on it right now. It's a
Speaker 1: good pointing, though, I feel like she's also overthinking everything
Speaker 1: because the wedding is approaching and because she's a maid
Speaker 1: of because there's all these things happening, she probably feels
Speaker 1: like she needs to make a decision sooner than later.
Speaker 1: And I don't know, I just I don't think it's
Speaker 1: it's a it would be a smart move to make
Speaker 1: a rash decision like that. I think it's important for
Speaker 1: for Key, like I said, sit down, have a conversation
Speaker 1: with them, figure out what it is that you want,
Speaker 1: and if it doesn't line up, then you know she's
Speaker 1: gonna have to make her decisions. I think religious differences
Speaker 1: is not a reason to end a relationship. In my
Speaker 1: personal opinion, I agree with that. I agree, and I
Speaker 1: also think the community cation is the noble one reason
Speaker 1: why relationships don't work. And it just seems like right
Speaker 1: now there is a lack of communication in this relationship
Speaker 1: because you want different things and he's not supplying them.
Speaker 1: So you, like Vanessa said, really need to start opening
Speaker 1: up to this guy, because then, listen, you give them
Speaker 1: the opportunity to get better in the relationship. You apparently
Speaker 1: love him. You really can't see your life without him,
Speaker 1: So work on the relationship and see how it goes.
Speaker 1: The bottom line is, you've got to focus on this
Speaker 1: relationship before you even worry about that other guy. And
Speaker 1: I understand if the church thing, the religion thing, is
Speaker 1: bothering you and all of a sudden it's this other
Speaker 1: guy who's actually really lines up with you religiously. I
Speaker 1: understand the temptation and think about you in those wedding
Speaker 1: photos and if that makes you want to throw up,
Speaker 1: that's probably a sign. But beyond that, just worry about
Speaker 1: you and this current guy. Don't have that other guy
Speaker 1: play any role in As mIRC has mentioned in the past,
Speaker 1: we don't like bench players, right, and you said something
Speaker 1: on the lines of you never want to have someone
Speaker 1: on your bench, because that just means you already have
Speaker 1: have half a foot out their door. In the exactly,
Speaker 1: you already have one foot out, half a foot out,
Speaker 1: half a foot half of your feet, which is one
Speaker 1: ft out of the relationship. From Anonymous, there's another manager
Speaker 1: on our team at work. When I became close to
Speaker 1: I developed feelings for him. I think he's developed feelings
Speaker 1: for me. The huge problem here is that he has
Speaker 1: a girlfriend. This is kind of the opposite of the
Speaker 1: last one, and I'm technically in a position above him
Speaker 1: at work, though he has a year older than me,
Speaker 1: So if we were to date, I'd really have to
Speaker 1: leave my job because I'm kind of his boss. I
Speaker 1: would never be the other woman, But I truly think
Speaker 1: I love him, and I really don't want to one.
Speaker 1: Do you think he has feelings for me? Or am
Speaker 1: I making this up too? I can't be the other woman,
Speaker 1: and I deserve someone who is crazy about me enough
Speaker 1: to pursue me. So how the heck do I get
Speaker 1: over him while having to see him every day? So
Speaker 1: I'm assuming from anonymous that these guys cheated on his girlfriend.
Speaker 1: I don't want to assume, but like, if you're in
Speaker 1: love and you haven't had any physical interaction, that's a
Speaker 1: big statement. I truly think I love him, and I think,
Speaker 1: judging by the depth of information we were given on
Speaker 1: this email, it sounds like he's in love with you.
Speaker 1: And that was sarcasm, because then the question is do
Speaker 1: you think he has feelings for me? Or am I
Speaker 1: making this up? We don't know. We don't know his
Speaker 1: feelings for you. Unfortunately we don't, and but you keep
Speaker 1: referring yourself to as the other woman, which makes me think, mistress,
Speaker 1: maybe the reason that you like him so much is
Speaker 1: because it's that forbidden love and you're like, you've got
Speaker 1: to sneak around behind closed doors. I agree, And he's
Speaker 1: obviously still with his other girlfriend, even though he might
Speaker 1: be conveying feelings for you. I think he was madly
Speaker 1: in love with you and he wanted to pursue relationship
Speaker 1: with you. He would be manly enough to break up
Speaker 1: with his like with his girlfriend and start something new
Speaker 1: with you. And no woman should ever feel like the
Speaker 1: other woman, or should feel like they're waiting around on
Speaker 1: sidelines for a guy. It goes both ways. I don't
Speaker 1: think a guy should ever feel like he's the other
Speaker 1: guy as well, situations like I don't want to be
Speaker 1: the other one, Like I would never want to be
Speaker 1: the other woman. Some just think in this situation, if
Speaker 1: she is his superior at work and they got together,
Speaker 1: she says she would have to leave her job first
Speaker 1: of all, just fire his ass and then you can
Speaker 1: start dating Scott free. It's easy, It's amazing. That's my advice.
Speaker 1: My advice is, I think you gotta I think you
Speaker 1: gotta play it cool and wait it out. I don't
Speaker 1: want to mess with that relationship, especially if it involves work.
Speaker 1: It's you know, you don't want to lose your position
Speaker 1: over a guy that you don't even know if you
Speaker 1: can have a relationship with him, or you don't know
Speaker 1: him well enough to see it could pursue into something greater.
Speaker 1: I agree, don't overthink this. I always throw in stories
Speaker 1: of my life. When I met Amy many many years ago,
Speaker 1: she was dating someone else. I did ask her out.
Speaker 1: She didn't respond to me. She just kind of got
Speaker 1: embarrassed and looked away and whatever. Anyway, long story short,
Speaker 1: A couple of weeks later they broke up. He broke
Speaker 1: up with her. She thinks it's because maybe she was
Speaker 1: giving off vibe that she wasn't really into this anymore.
Speaker 1: But he didn't end it. But and I, you know,
Speaker 1: we didn't do anything beforehand, So that would be My
Speaker 1: advice is if if you two were meant to be,
Speaker 1: it'll be, and if those two are meant to be,
Speaker 1: it'll be. You love faith. I do love faith. It's adorable,
Speaker 1: but I do. I believe in that too. I believe
Speaker 1: in timing everything. I totally agree with you, Mark, Mark.
Speaker 1: Do you believe in predestiny? Like everything in the universe
Speaker 1: has already planned out and is going to happen. I
Speaker 1: don't think I do, but but I talk like I do.
Speaker 1: Sometimes maybe I do. I don't know. I'm conflicted on that,
Speaker 1: but I think Babe Rexham mixed some strong points in
Speaker 1: that song with Florida Georgia line. That's the one, all right?
Speaker 1: Another anonymous. I love the anonymous ones because they're usually
Speaker 1: a little bit more j Yeah. I've been best friends
Speaker 1: with a girl for fourteen years. This is a woman anonymous.
Speaker 1: We met when I was eleven. I hooked up with
Speaker 1: her brother once very PG the hook up before he
Speaker 1: had to move away May. He paid for my trip
Speaker 1: to visit him for his birthday in August, at the
Speaker 1: time of my life. My last night there, we slept
Speaker 1: together for the first time ever, but it wasn't all
Speaker 1: that great. I was disappointed that it wasn't the best.
Speaker 1: He is now deployed and planning on visiting in early
Speaker 1: October when he comes back from leave. He told me
Speaker 1: he wouldn't stop fighting for me. All of my past
Speaker 1: relationships has been a long distance with a lot of
Speaker 1: false promises. My question is should I try to date
Speaker 1: back home. Do I give him a chance and stuck
Speaker 1: up the long distance in this fact that the sleeping
Speaker 1: together wasn't great, or should I stay not dating and
Speaker 1: see what happens naturally. I don't think that she should
Speaker 1: use the not great physical chemistry uh to discount the relationship.
Speaker 1: I think that sometimes your physical I guess chemistry doesn't
Speaker 1: just take off right away, and sometimes I can just
Speaker 1: be like a slow churn and you guys figure it
Speaker 1: out later on. Your first time can be a bit
Speaker 1: clumsy anywhere, right. You don't know anything about each other,
Speaker 1: what they like. You don't know anything, So the first
Speaker 1: time is going to be a little not great. It
Speaker 1: might be amazing passionate and that's awesome, but I don't
Speaker 1: I wouldn't put too much in that. So did she
Speaker 1: wait for him? Yes? October him my opinion June. So
Speaker 1: I'm just for reading the email again. Is he she
Speaker 1: thinks that he's deployed somewhere's visiting in four months? Well,
Speaker 1: wait a second, wait a second, we actually have a
Speaker 1: very I think, Uh, I don't know. It's a really
Speaker 1: tough situation, are they are you guys? I think, is
Speaker 1: this an honous boyfriend girlfriends? But it's I thought, it's okay,
Speaker 1: hold on, wait, I just want to get the facts face.
Speaker 1: So he's deployed visiting back in October? Is do you
Speaker 1: leave me once again? That would be a factory visiting
Speaker 1: in early October. Yeah, he's visiting. I think you I
Speaker 1: don't know. I feel like she's using the excuse or
Speaker 1: the anonymous who's using the use of their The first
Speaker 1: Sunday hooked up not being the greatest as a reason
Speaker 1: to kind of shy away from the relationship because there
Speaker 1: are bigger factors involved, the fact that he's deployed and
Speaker 1: you can't really start a relationship with someone only going
Speaker 1: to be coming down to visit you every couple of weeks.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's the healthiest of ideas. I'm one
Speaker 1: to totally support long distance relationships. I kind of enjoy them, um,
Speaker 1: but not when a person doesn't know when and if
Speaker 1: they're coming back and for how long they'll be in
Speaker 1: town for. I guess my question is, have they been
Speaker 1: together since August? Is this exclusive? That's the only question.
Speaker 1: Didn't they just hang out in August? She went to
Speaker 1: visit him, they had sex. I'm sorry, excuse me, like
Speaker 1: they did that one time, slept together. Now he's deployed.
Speaker 1: I don't think there's much of a foundation here except
Speaker 1: he says, I will fight for you. But I don't
Speaker 1: think there's a foundation here. Yeah. So do you think
Speaker 1: it's really all that awful if she goes on other dates?
Speaker 1: Because I don't. I feel bad for the guy. I
Speaker 1: don't think you should wait around. I feel like if
Speaker 1: that dean said that, did you just say you want
Speaker 1: to want her to wait? I want her to be
Speaker 1: open to the idea of seeing get him again in October?
Speaker 1: I agree, and I do think that he may be
Speaker 1: like while being deployed. Obviously, I can't really put myself
Speaker 1: in that mindset, but he's probably cleaning onto the relationship
Speaker 1: and romanticizing a little bit more than it is. And
Speaker 1: as someone that's deployed in serving his country, like, obviously
Speaker 1: it's great to have that thing to look forward to
Speaker 1: when you get back. Um, but if they would never were,
Speaker 1: if they never properly defined those rules or guidelines or
Speaker 1: anything before he left for that first deployment, it's kind
Speaker 1: of hard to say, Like, she can't just put her
Speaker 1: life on hold for a possibility, in my opinion, especially
Speaker 1: if she doesn't necessarily feel the spark well physically at least,
Speaker 1: So maybe wait until it gets back in October, see
Speaker 1: what that's like. But like in the meantime, I would say, like,
Speaker 1: don't shy away from going on dates. I agree, Maybe
Speaker 1: don't like close yourself off. Somebody asks you out and
Speaker 1: you're interested in them, I'd go on a date with him.
Speaker 1: I feel bad for the guy because if he says
Speaker 1: I'm still fighting for you, that means he's probably got
Speaker 1: like her picture on his bunk or whatever. Probably I
Speaker 1: would I would tell the guy if I was her,
Speaker 1: I would be open to be like, Yeah, I want
Speaker 1: to see you in October, but I can't put my
Speaker 1: whole my life on hold. All right, let's see one
Speaker 1: more here. This is from Katie. First of all, she says,
Speaker 1: I'm so happy for Jared and ashually Jared my fellow patriots,
Speaker 1: and yeah, hang up, we don't want to talk Greaty,
Speaker 1: reported to Mentory Minicamp today one. A few weeks ago,
Speaker 1: when you were co hosted with Vanessa, you mentioned that
Speaker 1: you never will fart in front of a girlfriend. Are
Speaker 1: you still this shoy in front of Ashley? So you
Speaker 1: finally feel comfortable doing that in front of her? I
Speaker 1: didn't say I would never far. I just said I
Speaker 1: hadn't really fart in front of you in front of Ashley?
Speaker 1: Is the question not on purpose? I don't think she
Speaker 1: said I farted in my sleep one time because we
Speaker 1: were talking about this the other day, because she she
Speaker 1: might not hold it back. Oh, actually is a fartner.
Speaker 1: Everybody is. Everybody is, and so yeah, I'm definitely farted
Speaker 1: in front of Ashley. Wow, that's a big step, right,
Speaker 1: big step? What about let me know how it goes? Well? No, Vanissa,
Speaker 1: I'm not leaving the door open while I'm using the bathroom.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, of course I let a rip. But Vanissa,
Speaker 1: you leave the door open, right, I do A tolet
Speaker 1: would be more respectful. From the phone one time and
Speaker 1: she's already feel uncomfortable enough. One more question for from Katie.
Speaker 1: She says, I finally convinced my daughter's nanny to go
Speaker 1: online dating. She's twenty three and lives at home. What
Speaker 1: are your thoughts about traveling for the first date. Should
Speaker 1: the guy offered to come out to the suburbs or
Speaker 1: meet halfway? So I think basically, if she imagined with
Speaker 1: the guy who lives in the city and she's twenty
Speaker 1: five minutes out in the suburbs, should she have to
Speaker 1: drive into the city or should she expect him to
Speaker 1: meet halfway or come to her. Is that a lot
Speaker 1: to expect on a first date. I mean, it depends
Speaker 1: on the type of person. I like having my car
Speaker 1: and getting there on my terms, so in case it
Speaker 1: doesn't go as planned, I can always be like, oh,
Speaker 1: I gotta go back home, and you know, I don't
Speaker 1: have to stay stick around for a longer car. I
Speaker 1: live twenty five minutes away from the city too. I
Speaker 1: do think for a first day it's good to meet
Speaker 1: at a neutral location where you get yourselves there. You're great,
Speaker 1: So maybe someplace halfway always great. If he says you've
Speaker 1: got to come to me, then that's a bad yes,
Speaker 1: or maybe encourage him to go to you, but you
Speaker 1: still meet at in netral location close to your house
Speaker 1: twenty five minutes at all, Like, that's what we live
Speaker 1: in Los Angeles. Twenty five minutes is basically around the
Speaker 1: corner fives. Don't feel like that guy, all right? I
Speaker 1: was so, I was driving last night around like six
Speaker 1: or seven pm, which is just the worst time to
Speaker 1: drive in Los Angeles, and I put it into my
Speaker 1: maps because I didn't know where I was going. I
Speaker 1: was at eighteen miles, one hour and forty minutes, and
Speaker 1: I was like, why the heck do I live in
Speaker 1: this city? It's terrible eighteen miles and it takes me
Speaker 1: an hour and forty minutes from Venice to Glendale. I
Speaker 1: think Venice to Glendale, yeah, roughly like Doctor Stadium area,
Speaker 1: and back home in Montreal is not any better because
Speaker 1: we have terrible weather for the entire year. So the
Speaker 1: summers when all the construction is happening and they're building
Speaker 1: new bridges, and they're building new highways and the street circles,
Speaker 1: and then we have like all these bike races, So
Speaker 1: the city has been a disaster. Those cones everywhere in
Speaker 1: the city and it takes forever to get around, but
Speaker 1: not as long as it would usually take in l A. So,
Speaker 1: if you take anything from this podcast, don't live in
Speaker 1: Montreal and don't live in Los Angeles. Pretty much, well,
Speaker 1: let's just keep living where we were living. But they're
Speaker 1: one thing we should keep doing listening to this podcast,
Speaker 1: I don't know if we've got any five star reviews
Speaker 1: that have roasted us yet, because I've been looking I
Speaker 1: haven't seen any. So if you're listening to this this
Speaker 1: moment right now, jump on the podcast app on either
Speaker 1: iTunes or I Heart Radio, but probably iTunes, give us
Speaker 1: five star rating, roast us in the comments. And if
Speaker 1: the five stars, but the roast us to make fun
Speaker 1: of me, make fun of Jared, especially make fun of
Speaker 1: Vanessa if you feel so inclined, du and we'll read
Speaker 1: it on air next week. It just has to be
Speaker 1: funny enough, it has to be creative, all that kind
Speaker 1: of stuff, but it has to be a five star
Speaker 1: review with a comment roasting us, and that's the asked
Speaker 1: for us. Simple, it's fine, it's not that bad. Takes
Speaker 1: literally four hours, No, it takes like fifteen seconds seconds,
Speaker 1: fifteen seconds of friends together, far less than it is
Speaker 1: to drive from Venice to Glendale. Keep those emails coming, exactly,
Speaker 1: Keep those emails coming. I suck at dating at iHeart
Speaker 1: media dot com. Please. I mean, obviously it's great to
Speaker 1: have the the the interaction in the Facebook group, but
Speaker 1: a lot of what we respond to on the podcast
Speaker 1: here is through those emails. I suck at dating at
Speaker 1: iHeart media dot com. Follow us on Instagram. Help I
Speaker 1: suck at dating all underscores between the words. Big thank
Speaker 1: you to Vanessa for taking the time to call in.
Speaker 1: Vanessa will have to figure out your whole Mike situation.
Speaker 1: Um um, big thank you to Omaha Steaks for being
Speaker 1: just delicious Omaha Steaks dot com. Keyword Dean, Yes, Sir,
Speaker 1: marky Mark, and big big thank you to Beach Body
Speaker 1: on Demand for making you solve, fit and look good
Speaker 1: and ready for summer. Facts Dean the thirty thirty, Thank
Speaker 1: you so much. Um, Thank you so much to listeners
Speaker 1: as well, and thank you to Jared for just being
Speaker 1: just a swell guy all around, and thank you for
Speaker 1: being amazing. Wow, thank you so much. And Easton Yeah,
Speaker 1: wait you guys. If anybody has a chance to listen
Speaker 1: to the Scrubbing In podcast this week, Eastern sings Hillary
Speaker 1: Duff songs because he's a massive Hillary Duff fan, and
Speaker 1: that is worth your time. Hillary Duff one of the
Speaker 1: few Disney Channel stars that has not had a public mouthdown,
Speaker 1: so I respect her gratefully. She's a great role model
Speaker 1: for people young and old. I like it. Well, you
Speaker 1: a Lizzie McGuire fan, big Liz McGary fan. What about
Speaker 1: the Hillary Duff movie? I remember McGary movies excellent memorized
Speaker 1: her entire two thousand three album Metamorphosis, her debut album.
Speaker 1: Was the hit on that album, I Know yesterday it
Speaker 1: was a big hit Why Not Come Clean, which was
Speaker 1: the soundtrack to I Know Why Not? I think I remember? Oh,
Speaker 1: good god, what else do we have that we well,
Speaker 1: maybe we'll wait till coming next week. Honestly, thank you
Speaker 1: for sharing that. That's it was amazing. Uh, and thank
Speaker 1: you again the listeners for tuning in. Like I said, uh,
Speaker 1: five star review. Give us a roast. We'll read it.
Speaker 1: On air next week. They thank you to Mark East
Speaker 1: and Jared Vanessa Me beach Body, Omaha, thank you for
Speaker 1: tuning in to this week's episode of Help I Suck
Speaker 1: At Dating. Maybe next week we'll all suck a little bit.
Speaker 1: Last Follow Help I Suck At Dating with Dean Anglert
Speaker 1: on I Heart Radio, or subscribe wherever you listen to
Speaker 1: podcasts