Speaker 1: I'm Honey German. My parents are Dominican. I was born
Speaker 1: and raised in New York City. I love sneakers and
Speaker 1: I'm a body positive advicate. I'm Caroline Bermudez, but i
Speaker 1: was born and raised in Ohio. I'm a wife, a mama,
Speaker 1: and a worker being. This is life in Spanglish. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we are back, and we're back. Yes, it's so good
Speaker 1: to be back. I love to see my honey. I
Speaker 1: love your face, and I love the fact that we
Speaker 1: do this like face to face, because it's like, I
Speaker 1: can't some people do podcast just audio. I need to
Speaker 1: see what I need to see what you're looking like
Speaker 1: doing just audio? To me, it sounds so challenging. I'm like,
Speaker 1: why would you even set yourself up like that? I will.
Speaker 1: I want to see, honey. I want to make sure that,
Speaker 1: like you know, we're I'm pausing when I need to.
Speaker 1: I want to make sure that I see what she's
Speaker 1: drinking on. What are you sipping on today? What is
Speaker 1: that just like the bottom of the bottle. I'm of
Speaker 1: my coffee. Oh you need to refill, honey. I feel
Speaker 1: bad throwing out coffee. You know the type that once
Speaker 1: the coffee gets cold, I put it in the first decade.
Speaker 1: Why just make yourself a new cup. Listen, I'm a
Speaker 1: Latina girl. We're not throwing none out. I know what,
Speaker 1: I know. You got that Cafe Bustillo popping in your apartment.
Speaker 1: I'm like, come on. I began to Bustello, Regular, Brustello, Colombian,
Speaker 1: all different ones, the little pods. I just told you.
Speaker 1: I said, I need you to upgrade me to an
Speaker 1: espresso because I have like a cheaplest curate. He said,
Speaker 1: I'll buy it this week. I'm like, I love his style.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm the biggest new Nie fan. I think
Speaker 1: this guy is just so amazing. Seriously, I better because
Speaker 1: he is here, but only because he's mature. The world
Speaker 1: was not better when he was here in his twenties.
Speaker 1: If I knew him twenty years ago, we would have
Speaker 1: had issues. But now I love him for who he
Speaker 1: is and that is a beautiful thing. Now, how do
Speaker 1: I wanted to talk to you today and I wanted
Speaker 1: you to bring it up because we were discussing something
Speaker 1: the other day that you said was really kind of
Speaker 1: weighing on you. And it's about friendships and relationships, and
Speaker 1: you know, I've had some similar encounters in the past
Speaker 1: couple of months, like with my friends and just kind
Speaker 1: of like seeing where where you stand with certain people.
Speaker 1: You know, so what what what's been going on with
Speaker 1: your friends and and how you've been feeling about your relationships. Well,
Speaker 1: I've actually stepped it up right. You know a lot
Speaker 1: of my friends are married, they have kids, they have careers,
Speaker 1: so it's hard to like, you know, engage them daily
Speaker 1: like we didn't. We're in our twenties. You know, girl
Speaker 1: called me, girl called me, I'm gonna see you. Let's
Speaker 1: girls night. So now it's different. So what I'm what
Speaker 1: I'm doing is I am purposely reaching out to them.
Speaker 1: I just want to let you know I love you.
Speaker 1: I just want to I just want you to have
Speaker 1: an amazing week. I just wanna I miss you face FaceTime.
Speaker 1: So I am the aggressor and I am the pursuer.
Speaker 1: Have friendships at are twenty years old. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like from when I was a young girl,
Speaker 1: I don't want to lose them. I value them them
Speaker 1: Right now, I am in that in that mode. I
Speaker 1: want you to know you're amazing. I miss you, I'm
Speaker 1: thinking about you. I love you. I'm going to Florida
Speaker 1: this week. I want to make sure I see you
Speaker 1: if they're Florida, or I'll be in New Jersey this day.
Speaker 1: I want to see you. So I am the aggressor
Speaker 1: right now. But doesn't that get exhausting, Like don't you
Speaker 1: feel like it's a one sided relationship at times, because
Speaker 1: like you're really the person who is reaching out constantly, texting, constantly,
Speaker 1: like making the plans. But then they appreciate it. Then
Speaker 1: they come back You're like, wow, you're so busy, you
Speaker 1: do so much and you still have time to think
Speaker 1: of me. So I think it's rewarding. You know. It's like, wow,
Speaker 1: I was having such a hard day and then I
Speaker 1: saw your message, So it's like, yeah, it's exhausting. Sometimes
Speaker 1: it can be a little one side, especially like one
Speaker 1: of my friends, she has a one year old. I'll
Speaker 1: text her Monday, it'll be Wednesday, still no reply. I guess, well, Carolina,
Speaker 1: I don't even feel no way because I'm like, wow,
Speaker 1: she's working, she's trying to hold down the crib, she's
Speaker 1: got a one year old. I'm not gonna give up
Speaker 1: on her just because she takes three days to answer
Speaker 1: my text. Messages or sometimes she doesn't answer at all.
Speaker 1: I love her too much to even hold that against her.
Speaker 1: She's lucky to have a friend like you, because there
Speaker 1: are some people who get really twisted if you don't
Speaker 1: answer them back immediately, you know. And that's something like
Speaker 1: I will see a text that my single friends will
Speaker 1: send me and I'll be like, oh, you know'll like
Speaker 1: warm my heart. But then I'll move on and then
Speaker 1: I'm like doing a million different other things, and before
Speaker 1: you know what, it is Wednesday, and I forgot to
Speaker 1: text them back and they got to me on Monday,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, dang it. And it's like I beat
Speaker 1: myself up because I'm not there enough for my friends.
Speaker 1: You know. I had a really amazing conversation with my
Speaker 1: best friend from college. She lives out in l A.
Speaker 1: And um, she's single, and we were having a heart
Speaker 1: to heart. She's been really having a tough time dating.
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, these streets are mean, man. The dating
Speaker 1: situation is awful. Don't get me started. I got Bella
Speaker 1: here and she can you can attest with it, Carolina.
Speaker 1: Dating is not easy. She'd be telling me, She's like,
Speaker 1: you better keep your husband. These streets is mean and
Speaker 1: nasty right now? Yeah? No, And and she's absolutely right,
Speaker 1: you know what it is. It's like I've even told
Speaker 1: some of my friends who are married that are having issues,
Speaker 1: especially after the pandemic, and I'm like, a girl, you
Speaker 1: don't want to do it. I'm like, you think the
Speaker 1: grass is greener? It really isn't you know? Can can
Speaker 1: bella hear us? Right now? Does she want to come on?
Speaker 1: She's here? Come here? She is he a visiting? She
Speaker 1: is so darling fella. But you know, I was telling
Speaker 1: honey that I was speaking to one of my single
Speaker 1: friends and that she is struggling right now with the
Speaker 1: dating thing, you know, like she goes on apps. And
Speaker 1: she said that, like you know, she's now in her forties.
Speaker 1: She said, these guys are straight up lying. Like she
Speaker 1: went out with a guy who said he was like
Speaker 1: in his fifties and she was like, okay, this dude
Speaker 1: was like in his sixties. Came through. Oh my god. No.
Speaker 1: But but I believe her. I totally believe her. Like
Speaker 1: you know what, I what I tell like my married friends,
Speaker 1: I say, there's nothing out here, whatever is going on,
Speaker 1: make it work. You don't want out of this it's
Speaker 1: it's it's Gotham City out here. This is jokers and riddlers,
Speaker 1: and you're just playing a game out here. So you know,
Speaker 1: I'll fix you your marriage, fix your situation, ship, whatever
Speaker 1: you have going on, because it's being single. It's it's
Speaker 1: ghetto out here. You don't want to be out here.
Speaker 1: It is dreadful. No, but you know what, That's what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. And so you know, we were having this
Speaker 1: heart to heart and I started crying my eyes out.
Speaker 1: We were both crying our eyes out, and I said
Speaker 1: to her, I said, I feel terrible that I haven't
Speaker 1: been there for you the way that I should have
Speaker 1: been as your best friend. You know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Because it's like life gets in the way. We're so
Speaker 1: self centered, you know, we think I have this to do,
Speaker 1: I have a laundry list of things to do. I
Speaker 1: gotta go to target, I gotta do this, I gotta
Speaker 1: do my podcast, I work, I have a conference called
Speaker 1: I have this. You know, you don't think for a moment,
Speaker 1: or at least I don't. And maybe it escaped me.
Speaker 1: And this is part of the problem that people that
Speaker 1: you love maybe hurting, and that's part of being in
Speaker 1: a solid relationship is being there for them. But I'll
Speaker 1: tell you this much, Carolina. You know my friend, which
Speaker 1: is even one of my best friends, the one with
Speaker 1: the one year old, you know when I stuff with
Speaker 1: my stroke, she was pregnant, she gave birth and cried
Speaker 1: to me. She was like, I am so sorry. I
Speaker 1: was not able to go to you. I was not
Speaker 1: able to be there for you. But that was during
Speaker 1: the pandemic. It's too in COVID. She gave birth. This
Speaker 1: woman had a whole c section in a hospital that
Speaker 1: was empty because nobody could be there for her. Do
Speaker 1: you think I'm gonna hold that against her? Some people would,
Speaker 1: some people would love her too much, Carolina, So please
Speaker 1: understand that it's like you're not being able to be
Speaker 1: there does not negate the love the understanding that your
Speaker 1: friend has for you. And she understands you have things
Speaker 1: going on too. Don't beat yourself up over and I
Speaker 1: told her because she's like, I wish I would have
Speaker 1: came and I could have cooked and I could have cleaned.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, girl, what are you talking about. You
Speaker 1: just had a child during COVID, Like I was not
Speaker 1: your priority, Your health and your child was so it's like,
Speaker 1: if you're listening, you know, and you feel like you
Speaker 1: you haven't been there for someone, just understand that they'll
Speaker 1: probably understand what you're going on at the same time
Speaker 1: too well, you know what it is. There are times
Speaker 1: where all texts and I'll be like, hey, babe, do
Speaker 1: you want to catch up? And she'll say to me no,
Speaker 1: flat out, like one word no, and I'm like okay,
Speaker 1: and I'll send her back and okay, and she'll say,
Speaker 1: I'm in a really negative space right now and I
Speaker 1: don't want to transfer any of this to you. I
Speaker 1: love her for that. I love her for that, Carolina.
Speaker 1: But then the friend and me immediately calls her and
Speaker 1: doesn't proceed to text her again because I'm like, you're
Speaker 1: in a really negative space and I care about you,
Speaker 1: what's going on? And talk to pick up the phone.
Speaker 1: I am. I'm like, pick up the phone, um no,
Speaker 1: because I don't want you to feel like you're alone.
Speaker 1: And that's the reason why, you know, we have such
Speaker 1: a beautiful relationship. And she will say, she'll be like, girl,
Speaker 1: I'm not picking up I'm really not in a goodhead space.
Speaker 1: And I'll say, okay, I love you. Call me when
Speaker 1: you can. So it's like we have that ability to
Speaker 1: be real with each other, which is so special because
Speaker 1: you know, if she wouldn't have told me that she's
Speaker 1: in a negative space, that could have called her Hi,
Speaker 1: everything's great, everything's great, Okay, fine, then then you check
Speaker 1: it off the list of like you checked in with
Speaker 1: that person, you know what I mean. But like, I
Speaker 1: think a red flag is when a friend doesn't understand
Speaker 1: that you're hurting you, you're going through something and you
Speaker 1: need your space, you know. And that's where I really
Speaker 1: honor their word and I say, you know what, this
Speaker 1: is a point in time where you know you're gonna
Speaker 1: let me know, you let me know when you're ready. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's it's sometimes it's hard, Like when I've gone
Speaker 1: through ship, I'm not gonna be like, hey girl, I'm
Speaker 1: going through call me, Like unless you're checking up on me,
Speaker 1: there probably won't be a connection or a conversation. So
Speaker 1: it's like, even though sometimes we say like, yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: going through some shi, I don't want to be bothered
Speaker 1: right now. Maybe do it subtle, but do it right right.
Speaker 1: And that's the reason why I always send a follow
Speaker 1: up text or a phone call you know, because I
Speaker 1: never want her to feel alone, I mean, and there
Speaker 1: I have several friends who are single, and it's not
Speaker 1: just this one, you know, but it's constantly checking in
Speaker 1: And I even think about my friends who are single
Speaker 1: moms or my sister who's a single mom. I have
Speaker 1: a support system. If I have questions about my mortgage,
Speaker 1: if I have questions about a certain bill, I can
Speaker 1: go to my husband. I have that support system. Whereas
Speaker 1: my friends who are single and do not have anybody,
Speaker 1: they don't have that luxury, you know. So I look
Speaker 1: at it as how can I help you? How can
Speaker 1: you use my resources to help your life? That's amazing, Carolyn,
Speaker 1: and I love you for that, like honestly, like sharing
Speaker 1: your resources, your people to help your friends. You're a
Speaker 1: solid friend. I try, you know what I mean. But
Speaker 1: then again, I'm not perfect, and that's where you need
Speaker 1: to give your friends grace, you know what I mean. Like,
Speaker 1: there are times where I've really had some highs and
Speaker 1: lows with my friends. And you know, there's one in
Speaker 1: particular who lives in New Jersey who I've been friends
Speaker 1: with her for years, years, years, years, and we went
Speaker 1: through some stuff. Man, we went through some roller coaster things,
Speaker 1: and you know, we did. We took a time out
Speaker 1: from each other for a bit, and then when we
Speaker 1: reconnected it was like nothing ever changed. We picked up
Speaker 1: right where we left off. And I think that those
Speaker 1: are the real friendships, where you don't go back and rehash, well,
Speaker 1: you did this, and you did that, and you didn't
Speaker 1: come through for this, you know what I mean. Like,
Speaker 1: that's where I think that I like to take a
Speaker 1: step back from relationships when it becomes like keeping score.
Speaker 1: I don't like people who keep score. Yeah that that
Speaker 1: that tip tap tip. I hate that. And not only that,
Speaker 1: it's like, Okay, let's say you take a break ground friendship.
Speaker 1: Let's come back fresh. Let's not go back and rehash
Speaker 1: when you said this and this text hurt me and
Speaker 1: that email was upsetting. Let's just start fresh. I'm sorry
Speaker 1: for what I did to hurt you. You're sorry for
Speaker 1: what you did to me, and let's move on. You know,
Speaker 1: I have been there to all my closest friends. I've
Speaker 1: known them for over ten fifteen years. You know there's
Speaker 1: been ups and downs. You know there's been oh, girl,
Speaker 1: you caught up with a guy and didn't call me
Speaker 1: for three months. I let them come back. I'm that person.
Speaker 1: I always let them come back. Yeah. No, But there
Speaker 1: are some people who will completely write you off. You know.
Speaker 1: I had a friend that um I mean now she's married,
Speaker 1: but whenever she met a new guy, that was it.
Speaker 1: You would be like, Okay, she's gone by, we'll see
Speaker 1: you in a few years. Those friends wouldn't have come back.
Speaker 1: I do. I do because then it's like, you know what,
Speaker 1: if somebody's coming back, that means that they need me,
Speaker 1: and I want to be there for you. I would
Speaker 1: hope that you would do the same thing for me,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And so that's kind of
Speaker 1: the attitude or like the bond that I like whenever
Speaker 1: I have a friend, because I never want people to
Speaker 1: feel like they're just canceled, like you're done over, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like that's a really adult thing.
Speaker 1: I don't like that. Like I I've said this, for
Speaker 1: humans are not disposible, like where you're not garbage. You
Speaker 1: don't be like, okay, you go into garbage now, It's like, really,
Speaker 1: how solid was our bond? And you know what my
Speaker 1: main thing is, if you can forgive that guy three
Speaker 1: times for cheating on you. You can't forgive me for
Speaker 1: what I did to you. If you could forgive your
Speaker 1: husband for having a side baby, you can't forgive me
Speaker 1: for what I did, pretty girl, for not picking up
Speaker 1: your phone call while I was at the gym and
Speaker 1: you were desperate, Like sorry, sorry, I was busy. I
Speaker 1: was living my life too. Don't make me pull your cards, girl,
Speaker 1: don't make me pull your cards. Okay, you don't tek
Speaker 1: this man back five times and the whole time I've
Speaker 1: known you, but you mad at me because I couldn't
Speaker 1: go to that club. Well, it's different standards, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. I feel like sometimes people give different
Speaker 1: standards from people. Of course, yeah yeah, and and there
Speaker 1: they could choose, if they could choose. And I don't
Speaker 1: want to be the person that you take out your
Speaker 1: aggression on because you're frustrated with your other relationship. Like
Speaker 1: that's not fair to me, girl Na listens the volatile
Speaker 1: behavior or abusive behavior, I'm not taking none of that
Speaker 1: from friends. I will be there for you. I will
Speaker 1: console you, I will coach you. I will not accept
Speaker 1: cursing and yelling abuse not that's not happening. And none
Speaker 1: of my friendships or not actually tolerated will not be tolerated. Now,
Speaker 1: I know you and newly have such a solid relationship,
Speaker 1: and so do you and your sister. You know, but
Speaker 1: it's like, what are the solid relationships in life? You know?
Speaker 1: Do you have that work person that you're constantly like,
Speaker 1: that's your homie? Like do you have that kind of
Speaker 1: a relationship with anybody? I don't know. I feel like
Speaker 1: COVID has tested some relationships and friendships. You know, I
Speaker 1: did have that with let's say some people I saw
Speaker 1: every single day. I felt so connected to them. But
Speaker 1: after COVID, it became more like my family and you know,
Speaker 1: my friends, my old friends that I've had for a
Speaker 1: very long time. I've baptized so many kids, Carolina. Guess
Speaker 1: anybody I've baptized, I consider them solid. Which are my sisters,
Speaker 1: my my best friends. They're solid. You know, they've in
Speaker 1: there for me. They were there for me through like
Speaker 1: my toughest times. But you know what's crazy, Like anybody
Speaker 1: that was at my wedding, I'm pretty much still cool
Speaker 1: with and solid with, and I don't have any problems with.
Speaker 1: I'm good at keeping friends. Yeah, definitely, I'm your salad
Speaker 1: people in your life I mean obviously, and I promised
Speaker 1: myself that I wouldn't talk about Mark for the next
Speaker 1: couple of episodes because I talked about him all the
Speaker 1: time in the beginning of the season. No, because you
Speaker 1: never want people to be like, oh my god, she
Speaker 1: doesn't talk about her husband. He's really the best friend
Speaker 1: I've ever had, you know what I mean, Like he
Speaker 1: is just he's it. And um, you know, I definitely
Speaker 1: have my friendships, my relationships from like way back when,
Speaker 1: like from college. I'm talking about like in two thousand
Speaker 1: three when I first started in radio, one of the
Speaker 1: first prom you know. Yeah, the fact that you have
Speaker 1: these friendships twenty years, Like wow, Carolyn, I really do
Speaker 1: a lot about who as a person. I love my friends,
Speaker 1: I love and I never had little sisters, and I
Speaker 1: always look at my friends like my little sisters, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. And I always treat them like
Speaker 1: how I would have treated a little sister because I
Speaker 1: never ever had one, you know, So that's kind of
Speaker 1: They're a handful and you're a lot of work, yes,
Speaker 1: but you know what, you are lucky you have your
Speaker 1: beautiful baby sister and she is a doll. But um,
Speaker 1: one thing that I will say that is challenging for
Speaker 1: me our new friendships. New friendships are hard. And I
Speaker 1: started seeing that when I was an adult and I
Speaker 1: moved to New York City and I remember just feeling
Speaker 1: so lonely. I remember feeling so lone and sad and
Speaker 1: just lonely. You know. I would go to the gym
Speaker 1: and go to a yoga class and I would kind
Speaker 1: of like get there early and see like, oh, you know,
Speaker 1: or like or getting be in the locker room and
Speaker 1: or say to somebody, oh my gosh, I love those
Speaker 1: like you know, love your boo. Stop sad. It was
Speaker 1: it was tough. It is tough to be a young
Speaker 1: woman in a big city where you don't know anyone
Speaker 1: and form those friendships, you know. So that was a
Speaker 1: really tough time for me, and I think that ever
Speaker 1: since that experience has been really challenging for me to
Speaker 1: meet new friends. Like even moving out to Long Island
Speaker 1: and finding like my mommy group now that I have,
Speaker 1: like my friend, my my son's friends mothers. We all
Speaker 1: kind of like banded together and I found my people.
Speaker 1: I found my people on Long Island. You have a
Speaker 1: tribe that that's amazing, you know, it's hard to make
Speaker 1: friends as a felt and it's hard, you know, to
Speaker 1: trust people. You know, some people have alterior motives. You know,
Speaker 1: some people might just attached to you, you know, especially
Speaker 1: social media, they see like who you are a place,
Speaker 1: just radio and just our industry in general. People want
Speaker 1: to go to hop parties, they want to go to
Speaker 1: the concerts, they want to do this, they want to
Speaker 1: do that with you, you know, so you like sniff
Speaker 1: out those people, like you gotta like filter out those people.
Speaker 1: So it's like, yo, my people, you know, my my
Speaker 1: legal name is not Honey, that's just the name. So
Speaker 1: my people, my tribe, they call me by my regular
Speaker 1: last name. Oh they do. Yeah, girl, they'd be like, funk, Honey,
Speaker 1: who's honey? Anyway? Meat? That is amazing? Are you serious?
Speaker 1: That's so crazy? Like so, when I first started in radio,
Speaker 1: there were so many people who asked me to change
Speaker 1: my name. When I was in college, they used to
Speaker 1: make me call my South Carolina, and I was like,
Speaker 1: this is all my name, Carolina. I'm done like South Carolina,
Speaker 1: like South Carolina. And I remember, and I will not
Speaker 1: name the professor, because there was one in particular who
Speaker 1: kept saying to me like um, it's to your name
Speaker 1: is to ethnic and I'm like, excuse me, And he said,
Speaker 1: your name is Carolina Bermudez and the everyday viewer is
Speaker 1: not going to be able to say that, so you
Speaker 1: should just start saying Carolina. So to my regret, to
Speaker 1: my regret, Yeah, in college, I was, you know, given
Speaker 1: a bunch of assignments and I said Carolina, And after
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what funk that? Like this
Speaker 1: is my name, like this is who I am. So
Speaker 1: I never let anybody kind of change that for radio
Speaker 1: because I was just so against it after my own experience,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. But like that's a very
Speaker 1: common thing to do in radio. You know, there are
Speaker 1: so many people who are Romeos around the country. Their
Speaker 1: names are not Romeo. Trust me, that's like a radio name.
Speaker 1: You know. You know what's crazy. Before I moved into
Speaker 1: media and radio, I worked in legal and I was
Speaker 1: always so worried about like identity deaf people because you knew,
Speaker 1: I was like, no, man, if I use my regular name,
Speaker 1: people gonna track down my address where I still my identity.
Speaker 1: And you know what's so crazy With the internet. You
Speaker 1: can find anything and everyone, but you know, not fully disclosing,
Speaker 1: but I have one of those real Latina names, mad Soul,
Speaker 1: Mari Slada, Madri Lu, one of those. Okay, so you're
Speaker 1: going but like by standards, somebody would say that your
Speaker 1: name is super ethnic, you know what I mean. And
Speaker 1: that's the reason why I kept on. And this is
Speaker 1: the reason why this podcast I feel like it's so
Speaker 1: important because there are so many people who have these
Speaker 1: shared experiences, you know what I mean, where they've been
Speaker 1: told like, um, well, for example, you know the two
Speaker 1: of the girls that I work with, Lulu and La
Speaker 1: La Maria Lena or no, they have their real names,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, So they're girls. I forgot
Speaker 1: those are their names. I'm over here like yeah, and
Speaker 1: not not that I'm ashamed of my name, but I
Speaker 1: just decided not to use it. But you know what,
Speaker 1: my last name was her mom and I had accent
Speaker 1: on top of the eight. America was like, fuck your accent.
Speaker 1: Now you're just German. It's like BMI, it's not it's
Speaker 1: bern Mudez. You know what I know. We gotta we
Speaker 1: gotta bring it back. But anyway, we got sidetracked. But no,
Speaker 1: so anyway, like you know, those are those are the
Speaker 1: things that I think are just so important is to
Speaker 1: let people know that you know, you have your boundaries,
Speaker 1: but then also like you know, keeping those solid relationships
Speaker 1: in place, it's work, you know. And I came after
Speaker 1: that conversation that I had with my friend, backtracking a bit.
Speaker 1: I came out into the living room and I had
Speaker 1: been crying, and Mark looks at me and he's like,
Speaker 1: what's wrong. What happened? You know? And I explained to
Speaker 1: him that I felt really horrible that I haven't been
Speaker 1: able to be there for my friend. And I just
Speaker 1: looked at him and I said, I gotta go see her.
Speaker 1: And he looked and he said, you do. He goes
Speaker 1: pick a weekend, you gotta go, you know. And it's
Speaker 1: like that's where you know where your support system is,
Speaker 1: like where you know people are going to be there
Speaker 1: for you. And I said, if I go to l A,
Speaker 1: I leave on Friday, I come back Sunday, I'll literally
Speaker 1: be there for a day. I said, but even a day,
Speaker 1: I feel like that would just give her so much
Speaker 1: joy and give her that little boost that she needs
Speaker 1: to get through this. Like charging times, it helps trust me,
Speaker 1: even though even it just a hug when you're in
Speaker 1: that dark space, even if it's just a hug from
Speaker 1: someone you love, makes a world of a difference. So
Speaker 1: I know, going down there for that one day, she'll
Speaker 1: she'll remember that forever. Yeah, definitely, definitely. Well, you know what,
Speaker 1: That's the thing. There are certain friends where I do
Speaker 1: have to set up boundaries though, like where I do
Speaker 1: have to be like, you know what you're asking. You're
Speaker 1: asking for a bit too much for me that I
Speaker 1: cannot give you right now, you know, just because I
Speaker 1: am juggling so many things that I'm so overwhelmed, you know.
Speaker 1: But that's where them understanding comes into play. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: was thinking, I'm like, I'm horrible at setting the boundaries,
Speaker 1: are you. Yeah, Like if you'd be like I'm coming
Speaker 1: to a house Friday, I'm gonna stay Friday, Saturday, Sunday,
Speaker 1: I won't be like, no, you can't do that. I'm horrible. Like, Okay,
Speaker 1: let me food shop. I let people know I have
Speaker 1: stuff going on. You're welcome to combat. I have the
Speaker 1: harvest festival for the kids. I got to do the
Speaker 1: setup for that, and then on the next day we
Speaker 1: have a birthday party in Karate. But if you're down
Speaker 1: to come and hang out with us, then cool. You know.
Speaker 1: Like the problem that I have is when you make
Speaker 1: plans with people and then they come in and they
Speaker 1: expect you to rearrange your entire schedule, and it's like nah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Like my friend visited, she came down with Florida, and
Speaker 1: I was just like, listen, I have a hair appointment
Speaker 1: on Saturday. You're okay with that. Um, and listen, I
Speaker 1: have to work Sunday. You're okay with that? And she
Speaker 1: was okay with everything. Yeah. See, that's an understanding person.
Speaker 1: I had to put it out there. You know, some
Speaker 1: people might be like, okay, time me cancel everything. I
Speaker 1: don't want to upset this person and tell them I
Speaker 1: need to get away from them for a few hours. Well,
Speaker 1: I have friends. I have a friend who punishes me
Speaker 1: if I ever do stuff like that. And that's where
Speaker 1: I had to like call her out and be like, listen,
Speaker 1: you're not gonna put me in purgatory or you're not
Speaker 1: gonna put me in punishment because I didn't go with
Speaker 1: your plan. Like, you have to understand, and I have
Speaker 1: a life and there are things happening in my life
Speaker 1: that if you don't want to come and be a
Speaker 1: part of it. That's totally understandable. But I can't rearrange
Speaker 1: three other people's lives because of you, you know, And
Speaker 1: you know I commend you for that. And that's one
Speaker 1: thing that I've I've taken from you, you know, by
Speaker 1: becoming close and mean with you for the past few years,
Speaker 1: you know, speaking up for a long time. I wish
Speaker 1: I was okay with everything everyone, whether it was work
Speaker 1: related or whether it's you know, friendship, Okay, all right,
Speaker 1: you want me to work what? Okay? All right? And
Speaker 1: you know I've taken that from you. And friendships are
Speaker 1: like that, like I've taken me now, Carolina, wouldn't go
Speaker 1: for that ship, No, no, you know you can't. And
Speaker 1: you also you surround yourself with people who will give
Speaker 1: you energy, not drain your energy. You know, there are
Speaker 1: certain people who are just fun suckers. You know, you
Speaker 1: could be in a great mood and because their life
Speaker 1: isn't going the best way, then they want to drag
Speaker 1: your ass down. I'm like, no, no, baby, I'm trying
Speaker 1: to elevate this ship, you know what I mean, Like,
Speaker 1: don't try to come and bring me down and drag
Speaker 1: me with your anchor like. So that's where it's I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm almost I go into over over not
Speaker 1: over time mode, but you know what I'm saying, like
Speaker 1: I work overtime to try to bring them out of
Speaker 1: that space. You know what I mean. It can be draining,
Speaker 1: it really can. It's it's a challenging thing. Catlina modest
Speaker 1: has spoken that's it, and I love it. I really
Speaker 1: take it. I take all your little gems trust me.
Speaker 1: And then I'm like, what would Carolina say? What would
Speaker 1: Carolina do? That? Go? That has got to be a segment.
Speaker 1: I'm flattered by that because sometimes I feel like I
Speaker 1: don't make the best decisions, but I at least own them,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, And I learned from them.
Speaker 1: So that's that's the one thing that I really do
Speaker 1: feel like in my in my you know, elder states
Speaker 1: as I turned forty four this year. I turned forty
Speaker 1: four in May, and I keep thinking about it. I
Speaker 1: keep saying to my husband, I'm like, I turned forty four,
Speaker 1: I still feel like I'm in my twenties. Girl, because
Speaker 1: you look good, you take care of yourself, you know,
Speaker 1: you eat right, you work out like you are good
Speaker 1: girl every time I have a break to coming up.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, but look at jam Will still backing
Speaker 1: until fifty two. Why, I've got years left. I just
Speaker 1: gotta take care of myself. You do, you do? But
Speaker 1: you know she's doing that m sculpt girl. Don't let
Speaker 1: her trick. Don't let her trick you. You You know, she's
Speaker 1: doing all that other stuff to like tweak it, which
Speaker 1: I'm not all but I know, but you have Macdonna.
Speaker 1: On the other hand, she went overboard, She went overboard
Speaker 1: them she she looks like she is hiding some nuts
Speaker 1: in them cheeks. Girl, Like it's just not all the time.
Speaker 1: But that's where you need a friend. But right there,
Speaker 1: in case some point, I'm not dragging Madonna right now,
Speaker 1: but that's where you need a real friend, Like where
Speaker 1: are her real friends? That would be like, babe, don't
Speaker 1: do it. Stop working with your face. Excuse my language.
Speaker 1: Say I don't know why I'm dropping so many F
Speaker 1: and S bombs. Okay, the podcast already says okay, good, good, yes,
Speaker 1: And I'm sorry. You know because my mom, like I said,
Speaker 1: would call me la la la, But um no, you
Speaker 1: know what it is? That that that that is, that's it.
Speaker 1: That's where celebrities go wrong. They don't have real people
Speaker 1: in their lives to check them and be like, you're
Speaker 1: doing too much. Stop, You're good the way that you are.
Speaker 1: You just have a bunch of yes people saying, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, no, yeah, that would look great, that would
Speaker 1: look amazing. And that's where you got worried, because they
Speaker 1: were They're gonna get canceled, They're gonna get taken off payroll.
Speaker 1: So and I think one of the biggest, one of
Speaker 1: the fastest way to fail is to surround yourself by
Speaker 1: yes men. Absolutely, surround yourself with people who are smarter
Speaker 1: than you, who know different things, who challenge your way
Speaker 1: of thinking. They make you step out outside the box.
Speaker 1: And that's the way you grow, truthfully, Because if I
Speaker 1: was the Carolina that moved to New York City right now,
Speaker 1: I don't know what kind of a mom I would be.
Speaker 1: I don't know what kind of a wife I would be.
Speaker 1: I don't know what kind of a friend or daughter
Speaker 1: I would be. You gotta evolve, that is it, and
Speaker 1: I will be Carolina a three point oh when I'm
Speaker 1: in my fifties. You know what I mean, I'll bring it.
Speaker 1: I told my husband, I said, when I'm in my seventies.
Speaker 1: Just get ready, I'm gonna be a snack then. And
Speaker 1: I see like older couples like I guess seventies, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, they look good. Oh my god, that's
Speaker 1: gonna be us. Right there, you'll see a couple right
Speaker 1: there that's called be us. Absolutely absolutely. Are we gonna
Speaker 1: do any celebrity today? Do you want to talk about
Speaker 1: the trash that that's been going around. Well, you know
Speaker 1: we've been talking about names, you know, Jereman, Carolina. I'm
Speaker 1: want to bring it back to Kanye. He remember he
Speaker 1: changed his name. Would you ever change your name to
Speaker 1: anything else? No, not at this point, not at this
Speaker 1: point in my career. And actually this is funny, you know.
Speaker 1: So my my kids, you know, I have two little boys.
Speaker 1: If you're just starting to listen to us, thank you.
Speaker 1: By the way, my little Noah is eight and my
Speaker 1: Asher six. And Noah said to me, mommy, why do
Speaker 1: you have a different name? And I said, honey, I
Speaker 1: don't have a different name. I said, my name is
Speaker 1: Carolina Grossman. That's my name. I have their name. And
Speaker 1: he goes, no, but when you talk on the radio,
Speaker 1: why don't you use our family's name. And I said, honey,
Speaker 1: you said, because you know, mommy established her career before
Speaker 1: I met daddy. I said, and that's something that I
Speaker 1: really want to hold on too. I said, it's it's
Speaker 1: something that I worked very hard for it. But I'm
Speaker 1: very proud to be your mother, and I'm proud to
Speaker 1: be a part of this family, you know, So it's truthfully.
Speaker 1: I have changed my name. Then, yes, then I like
Speaker 1: you because I have changed my name, but I changed
Speaker 1: it for the purpose of having the same family name
Speaker 1: as my children. But professionally, I still use my maiden name.
Speaker 1: And you know what, it matters because I remember when
Speaker 1: my mom would come to like school and she had
Speaker 1: a different name. I'm like, I don't want them to
Speaker 1: think we're not a real family, especially in America, you know,
Speaker 1: Mrs Johnson, Mrs Parker, and then you would have the
Speaker 1: same my name. I was like, my mom was likeness
Speaker 1: the whole another last name. I'm like, oh God, my
Speaker 1: mom don't have our name. You know, Hey, Ms Parker,
Speaker 1: this is Parker. I used to love that show. Don't
Speaker 1: get me wrong, it's hilarious, but kind of kinda needs
Speaker 1: to stop, Like why why he's just annoying. But I
Speaker 1: think they just do that stuff just for attention. But
Speaker 1: you know, it's crazy. When I did my marriage license,
Speaker 1: I have NATed my name. Does that mean I changed
Speaker 1: my name or not? Or I had to go through
Speaker 1: some more steps. I believe if you hyphenate, that is
Speaker 1: your new last name, so it would be German blank
Speaker 1: because your maiden comes first, so so your real last
Speaker 1: name basically as German blank. But like for me, my
Speaker 1: real last name it is Grossman. That's it. But this
Speaker 1: is gone. You had to you had to like get
Speaker 1: new ideas and stuff like that, like how do I
Speaker 1: make it so that I can hyphenate and no one
Speaker 1: you can be happy? It is the biggest pain in
Speaker 1: the ass when I tell you, even my airline stuff
Speaker 1: is not lined up and I've been married for ten years.
Speaker 1: It's actually an absolute nightmare. So for those of you
Speaker 1: who are listening that can sympathize with me, I appreciate
Speaker 1: it because legitimately I had so many like I had
Speaker 1: like hundreds of thousands of airline miles gone can't even
Speaker 1: use them. You have to provide a marriage certificate. You
Speaker 1: have to provide this, You have to you know, all
Speaker 1: of this stuff, and I did and it doesn't get through,
Speaker 1: and then it's like, how long am I going to
Speaker 1: wait on the phone for this? You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: So it really is and and you know, truthfully it was.
Speaker 1: It was kind of a sad day for me that
Speaker 1: day when it happened. When I went in and I
Speaker 1: had to change my social Security card, my passport, my
Speaker 1: driver's license. I mean you I'm talking everything. I felt
Speaker 1: a little bit like, well, you know what, I do
Speaker 1: get to have the beastketball world because I still get
Speaker 1: to keep my given name. But you know, I am
Speaker 1: honoring my marriage by changing everything. Yeah. Not, you definitely did,
Speaker 1: and that's you know, that's good for you. You know,
Speaker 1: some people get very like, no, never, I'm never changing
Speaker 1: my name. This is my father's name. I'm I'm keeping
Speaker 1: my dad's name. You know, it would have been different
Speaker 1: from me, but um, I had already established German and
Speaker 1: I was like, no, this is it. And I remember,
Speaker 1: you know, Andie Martinez went to my wedding, so she
Speaker 1: knows that my husband's last name is Martinez. Of course,
Speaker 1: Andy was like, oh my god, you're gonna change your
Speaker 1: last name. This is a good last name. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I bet you think Martinez is a good last name.
Speaker 1: Not not happening, still honey, German for life. But I
Speaker 1: still respect my husband and I love him, and I
Speaker 1: would tell him, you're welcome to do all my paperwork
Speaker 1: and everything online and I will legally be I don't
Speaker 1: even know what my name would be. But it's also
Speaker 1: it's such an old school, traditional way of looking at things.
Speaker 1: I don't think it makes you any less of a
Speaker 1: wife or any less of a family person that you
Speaker 1: haven't done that. I'm just saying, like, for me, it was.
Speaker 1: He brings it up every time we talked about He's like,
Speaker 1: but she didn't change her name. I'm like, listen to
Speaker 1: look at our marriage to to ticket. It is hyphenated.
Speaker 1: It says German Martinez. So that's what I got for you.
Speaker 1: I mean, he needs to make it official. He wants
Speaker 1: to claim it. Girl. I mean, I'm telling us stop.
Speaker 1: He listens to this podcast, don't I love you, Nunie,
Speaker 1: but you let her be. You leave her alone for real.
Speaker 1: But let's end this podcast episode right there, Carolina, because
Speaker 1: you don't took it too far over here before changed
Speaker 1: my name? Never never never know, I said, leave honey,
Speaker 1: let her be. She's fine, you don't. You already got
Speaker 1: her locked down at home, so it's all good, dead ass.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, what guys. We had so much fun
Speaker 1: talking today and we hope you enjoyed it. Now you
Speaker 1: can always hit us up at l I spanguish on
Speaker 1: Instagram and I'm at the Real care LNA, so give
Speaker 1: me a follow. You want to check out my family,
Speaker 1: my kids, my dog. That bitch um you can check
Speaker 1: her out to allow me too. I am Honey German
Speaker 1: on Instagram and I'm the only Honey German out here
Speaker 1: in the world, so just google me and you'll find everything,
Speaker 1: even my fake net worth of three point five million dollars.
Speaker 1: You make more than I do on your fake net worth.
Speaker 1: I'm pissed. I want to make more. That's ridiculous. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna DM those people. I'm like, do you not understand
Speaker 1: this woman? That bank? Get out of here. It's fine.
Speaker 1: All everything you read is a lie. So there you
Speaker 1: have it, guys, Thank you so so much. We'll be
Speaker 1: back next week and we hope you guys are having
Speaker 1: a great one, So take care, all right, out of here.
Speaker 1: Life and Spanglish is a production of Life is English
Speaker 1: Productions in partnership with I heart's Michael Tura podcast network
Speaker 1: m