Speaker 1: Up next Out Wow what you don't know called part
Speaker 1: of the Gang, which switch actually football. I don't know
Speaker 1: about you, but I need a break from politics, so
Speaker 1: we're gonna do something fun and a little different this week.
Speaker 1: Trust me, you will want to stick around. This is
Speaker 1: Out Loud with Gianna Callblow. Welcome Back to Allow with
Speaker 1: Gianno Caldwell. I got a very special show for you
Speaker 1: guys this week. For the first time, I'm having on
Speaker 1: two guests. They're good friends of mine. I've been to
Speaker 1: their homes, spend time with them, and they are great,
Speaker 1: great people. I'm talking about Mike Hill and Cynthia Bailey Hill,
Speaker 1: a power couple have been mary since October of last year.
Speaker 1: Mike is a veteran broadcaster and television personality who currently
Speaker 1: works at Fox Sports and the Black News Channel. He's
Speaker 1: also the author of Open Mic ran On, his memoir
Speaker 1: about his life that came out last year. His wife, Cynthia,
Speaker 1: is a model, actress and reality star from the Real
Speaker 1: Housewives of Atlanta Today. I want to talk to them
Speaker 1: about all things relationships. Plus I want to get into
Speaker 1: the entertainment industry and maybe get some inside scoops about
Speaker 1: their life in the limelight. But before we go there,
Speaker 1: we're about to address the national debate about racing police
Speaker 1: shootings that is raging across the country. Let's go. I
Speaker 1: am so honored to welcome Mike Hill and Cynthia Hill Bailey. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, we in here. We here. If I can
Speaker 1: tell you how many times we say that to each other,
Speaker 1: like any time your name comes up for the rest
Speaker 1: of the day, no matter what, we always say, we're
Speaker 1: in here. I'm so excited that I made such a
Speaker 1: great impact on your lives, so so thankful for that.
Speaker 1: So this episode is extremely special to me. It's about relationships,
Speaker 1: It's about love, and it's something that you all know
Speaker 1: so much about, having had relationships and years of experience
Speaker 1: and so much knowledge that you're gonna drop on us today,
Speaker 1: so much that I'm expecting to learn. But before we
Speaker 1: get started there, I wanted to just talk about what's
Speaker 1: going on in the moment in our country, whereas we
Speaker 1: have a number of police involved shootings that have occurred,
Speaker 1: We're still in the Derek Chauvin trial from his murdering
Speaker 1: of George Floyd, and we're the temperature is really high
Speaker 1: right now, and rightfully so I would argue because there
Speaker 1: needs to be something done. We need police reform. There
Speaker 1: has to be solutions, and I wanted to get each
Speaker 1: of your takes on what's going on in this moment
Speaker 1: and what could we potentially do to end it till
Speaker 1: folks can feel safe and we can just live together
Speaker 1: as a united community. Well that's the tough question because
Speaker 1: I think if we actually had the solutions, we probably
Speaker 1: started working towards them. But I think from our side,
Speaker 1: I think from UH, as a black man who's been
Speaker 1: pulled over and been harassed, who's been profiled before, I
Speaker 1: think the first step is, you know, I think the police.
Speaker 1: And I'm not saying white police, I'm not saying black police.
Speaker 1: I think it's the blue I don't think it's a
Speaker 1: black white issue. Most of the time when it comes
Speaker 1: to police relations with African American people, I think it's
Speaker 1: more of a blue issue because a lot of times,
Speaker 1: and I don't know if it's training, I don't know
Speaker 1: if it's just the mindset, but we're viewed as a
Speaker 1: threat automatically. We've even heard policemen say that before. When
Speaker 1: they go into certain neighborhoods, they fear automatically and and
Speaker 1: that needs to start there. They need to see us
Speaker 1: as humans and not as somebody they can pick up
Speaker 1: and and and get points for, you know, doing their
Speaker 1: job or whatever or whatever you call that, or you know,
Speaker 1: or just feel like we're automatically out there to get them,
Speaker 1: We're doing something wrong. There's an issue in this country
Speaker 1: when uh, three times as many black men and women
Speaker 1: are killed by police officers than white people, uh and
Speaker 1: a lot of times many times they're unarmed. We've seen that,
Speaker 1: as you mentioned with George Floyd. We've seen that with
Speaker 1: Dante right just moments, you know, not too long ago.
Speaker 1: We've seen it with Eric Garnand we've seen it so
Speaker 1: many times and so many names. We can say their
Speaker 1: names over and over again. But for the smallest infractions
Speaker 1: as well. It could be a tail light, it can
Speaker 1: be lucy cigarettes, it can be allegations of a counterfeit
Speaker 1: twenty dollar bill. So until I think the police black
Speaker 1: white indifference Latino start seeing us as humans and not
Speaker 1: just a threat, I think we're gonna have this problem.
Speaker 1: So we're gonna have police perform whatever we need to do,
Speaker 1: train and get rid of some of the bad cops.
Speaker 1: And when you bring in the new cops. They have
Speaker 1: to have the right mentality, in the right attitude towards
Speaker 1: Black people to see us the way we need to
Speaker 1: be seen, and that's as human beings and not as
Speaker 1: a threat. Right. And um, I would agree with my
Speaker 1: husband on this one. You know, for the most part,
Speaker 1: I think one of the most important things we can
Speaker 1: do is do what we're doing with you just keep
Speaker 1: the conversation going, you know what I'm saying. Um, you know,
Speaker 1: keep posting about to keep talking about it. Um, I've
Speaker 1: been around for a long time. I will say this
Speaker 1: is the first, you know, since the movement, Like all
Speaker 1: these things have been happening for years, okay, just on
Speaker 1: different levels and just you know, just not you know,
Speaker 1: just worst video footage. The video footage has gotten better,
Speaker 1: but it's still the same videos of people just and
Speaker 1: justice happening over and over again to black folks. So
Speaker 1: I would say, we got to just keep talking about it,
Speaker 1: and we gotta keep protesting, and we have to keep
Speaker 1: bringing it up, and we have to keep putting electing people,
Speaker 1: putting you know, different people in place that can reper
Speaker 1: s black people to try to make effective change, and
Speaker 1: just you know, keep the conversation going as parents of
Speaker 1: young adults who drive. Um, you know, going back to
Speaker 1: what Mike was saying about like it could be the
Speaker 1: most I mean, basically, no one could run a stop sign,
Speaker 1: get pulled over, and literally be in fear of just
Speaker 1: something a simple arrest or you know, a warning or
Speaker 1: anything going to the left if she didn't comply in
Speaker 1: a certain way or they didn't feel like she complied
Speaker 1: in a certain way. And Mike, you know, used the
Speaker 1: word you know, they see us. He used the word threat.
Speaker 1: He said that they see us a threat. Sometimes I
Speaker 1: don't feel like some of these situations are even seen
Speaker 1: as a threat. Like if I'm a grown, fifty four
Speaker 1: year old black woman, if I'm driving my car and
Speaker 1: I see blue lights behind me, I'm I will immediately
Speaker 1: go into panic mode. I don't have any warrants, I've
Speaker 1: broken any laws, but I just feel like I live
Speaker 1: in Atlanta, Georgia. Uh if I get the wrong police
Speaker 1: officer to pull me over for whatever reason, as someone
Speaker 1: who has no criminal history, who has no reason to
Speaker 1: be afraid, I am honestly afraid. I'm praying that I
Speaker 1: get a good cop that is going to treat me
Speaker 1: with respect, asked me for my credentials, run my tax whatever,
Speaker 1: tell me what I did wrong, and send me on
Speaker 1: my way as to it ending up going left or
Speaker 1: being tased or shot for no reason. And then that's
Speaker 1: and that piggyback and off of that is that's the problem,
Speaker 1: is that we shouldn't be in fear of somebody that
Speaker 1: we pay with our tax dollarge us to protect and
Speaker 1: serve us. We shouldn't have that fear, but we do.
Speaker 1: And it's not something new, and people think, you know,
Speaker 1: it's something new, and we're screaming and yelling. We're screaming
Speaker 1: and yelling because it's been happening our entire lives. It's
Speaker 1: just now being exposed because of social media. Everybody has
Speaker 1: a camera phone of course obvious slee uh. Police officers
Speaker 1: have their body cams now, so it's being exposed and
Speaker 1: put out there in the open. But you know, other
Speaker 1: things get rid of qualified immunity. Maybe I don't know
Speaker 1: if it's completely defunding the police, but it definitely needs
Speaker 1: to be reformed. There needs to The George Floyd Act
Speaker 1: needs to be passed in Congress because if there's a
Speaker 1: bad cop that's doing bad things, and he gets fired
Speaker 1: from a position in one city, shouldn't just be able
Speaker 1: to go to another city and get another job. So
Speaker 1: there needs to be that database. So there are a
Speaker 1: lot of different issues that need to be rectified. I
Speaker 1: don't know if I have the correct answer to answer
Speaker 1: your question, but there's a lot and uh, we we we.
Speaker 1: There has to be a change because it can't go
Speaker 1: on for long, and accountability first and foremost. So when
Speaker 1: you talk about accountability, the reason why a lot of
Speaker 1: black people are upset is not only because we're being
Speaker 1: killed in the streets. Unarmed black people are being killed
Speaker 1: in the streets. And I'm not saying that everybody they
Speaker 1: gets pulled over doesn't deserve to go to jail, because
Speaker 1: they do. There's people if if you're committing to crime,
Speaker 1: you're doing something wrong and you threaten the police in
Speaker 1: any kind of way, or if you got a weapon
Speaker 1: or whatever. I get that, But we want the same
Speaker 1: treatment that we see our white counterparts getting. We want
Speaker 1: that equality and we want accountability. So if somebody does
Speaker 1: do something wrong and they get charged, we want an
Speaker 1: indictment first and foremost. Didn't have that with the Brianna Taylor,
Speaker 1: we didn't get the we didn't get the charges. But
Speaker 1: we also have seen numerous times where somebody that could
Speaker 1: kill a black person who was unarmed, get off and
Speaker 1: not even be charged. Eric Garner's situation, his copies, his
Speaker 1: the copass is, you know, back on the force. I mean,
Speaker 1: so you see those types of things happening and you
Speaker 1: wonder why. So that's why it's important for this Derek
Speaker 1: Chauvin trial. Um, I'm praying, I'm praying that there's accountability
Speaker 1: in that case. I'm praying there's some sense of accountability
Speaker 1: when it comes to the Dante Rights situation in some ways,
Speaker 1: because once I think the police officers start seeing that
Speaker 1: they're having to pay for their transgressions, then that will
Speaker 1: deter others, hopefully from committing the same crimes, because if
Speaker 1: they feel like they can do it and get away
Speaker 1: with it, they're going to continue to be bold, continue
Speaker 1: to be aggressive, continue to brutalize black people in these streets.
Speaker 1: And uh, it's just not a good thing at all. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and and and just in closing, if these police officers
Speaker 1: feel so bold and so comfortable doing the things that
Speaker 1: we have seen them do when they know they're being video,
Speaker 1: what in God's name doing that we don't see you
Speaker 1: have been doing for years? You know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: What if no one's there take what if we don't
Speaker 1: have the video footage? What if they feel that comfortable
Speaker 1: doing the things that they have done and they know
Speaker 1: it's being filmed. I can't imagine what happens when it's
Speaker 1: not being filmed and they actually make it to the
Speaker 1: police station, Like what what are the boundaries? Like? What?
Speaker 1: Like I I just I mean, thank god we actually
Speaker 1: have video footage, because if we didn't, you know, then
Speaker 1: what and what happens when it's not being video That's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying that so so in Bolden, you see
Speaker 1: Derek Chauvin, no one's being taped, he still put his
Speaker 1: hand in his pocket and still do it. I mean
Speaker 1: that's like we're just he's just smirking right in your face.
Speaker 1: That hurts that that is you know, that's throwing salt
Speaker 1: in the wound. Were like, I know what I'm doing
Speaker 1: and I'm getting away with and there's nothing you can
Speaker 1: do about it. It was literally almost smiling anyway, Hey,
Speaker 1: I know this is doing I know this is wrong.
Speaker 1: You know that this is despicable but I don't care.
Speaker 1: What are you guys gonna do about it? Nothing that change.
Speaker 1: They do not fear us, they do not respect us,
Speaker 1: and they do not value us, and that has to change. Well,
Speaker 1: thank you all for sharing your thoughts on that, and
Speaker 1: certainly that I agree with a number of your points there.
Speaker 1: And I've had experiences myself, and of course I have
Speaker 1: no criminal background or anything like that. But even when
Speaker 1: I go get my driver's license, I make sure that
Speaker 1: I have a fresh haircut. I wear a suit and
Speaker 1: a tie, and I smile. So if someone pulls me
Speaker 1: over and they see my ID, they think a little
Speaker 1: deeper about who I might be or because it's not
Speaker 1: typical to have a suit on and smiling in your
Speaker 1: in your I d especially with some some of the
Speaker 1: mean to cut y'all Giano, they don't even wait to
Speaker 1: see your identification. They pull you over and they're automatically
Speaker 1: look Lieutenant Nazario, the person of Virginia. You know, he
Speaker 1: didn't have a tax on his on the back, but
Speaker 1: he had him in the window. And he pulls over
Speaker 1: and he feels like his life is in danger. He
Speaker 1: feels scared. He pulls over in a lit area and
Speaker 1: the police officers already uh in aggressive mode because he
Speaker 1: sees that face. George Floyd is sleeping in the clock
Speaker 1: car at the time, and the cop already has his
Speaker 1: gun out, so before he can even present any kind
Speaker 1: of identification, all they see is the black face you
Speaker 1: know so, and and and and then that's another thing
Speaker 1: after And I don't mean to cut you off, John,
Speaker 1: I know who You're not gonna try and take over
Speaker 1: your podcast, bro, But it's it's it's it's it's that
Speaker 1: that that's the problem is once again, it's like they
Speaker 1: it's jumping to the conclusions before we can even identify
Speaker 1: ourselves to find out who we are. And then even
Speaker 1: after you get arrested, you get brutalized, you get killed.
Speaker 1: Then automatically there is another assassination that happens, the character
Speaker 1: assassination that happens afterwards. We because they bring up everything
Speaker 1: in your past that had nothing to do with this
Speaker 1: particular situation that you were in at that moment. So
Speaker 1: all of that is a big reason why and I
Speaker 1: understand why you're doing it, but you shouldn't have to.
Speaker 1: You shouldn't have to. And that's the problem, Giano, is
Speaker 1: that you shouldn't have to go and get a haircut.
Speaker 1: You shouldn't have to go that's true. That's true, and
Speaker 1: I don't disagree with you on that point. I know
Speaker 1: that for folks that are listening right now, there's gonna
Speaker 1: be folks who agree with what you're saying, and they're
Speaker 1: gonna disagree. I think I agree, and I've said to
Speaker 1: conservatives I said on Fox News where individuals it has
Speaker 1: nothing to do with the background. I shouldn't be hearing
Speaker 1: about what George Floyd did in this criminal past. I
Speaker 1: don't care about that. I don't care about their being
Speaker 1: drugs in this system. What I do care about it
Speaker 1: there was an officer who did something that was against
Speaker 1: this code of conduct. So I hear that completely. So
Speaker 1: what I'm hearing to summarize the US point of view
Speaker 1: is we need to have the conversation, continue to talk
Speaker 1: about it, continue to lift our voices and use our platforms.
Speaker 1: And although I may not agree with everything that you
Speaker 1: two have said, I do agree that there's a necessity
Speaker 1: to have the conversation started. I think the police departments
Speaker 1: need to be reformed. I don't think the police departments
Speaker 1: need to be defunded, especially coming from where I come
Speaker 1: from on the South side of Chicago, not having police
Speaker 1: could be a death sentence because we got our own
Speaker 1: people killing each other um as well, So that's a
Speaker 1: that's another consideration. So you know, this is one of
Speaker 1: those times where I think we all do need to
Speaker 1: united as a country and speak out against um police
Speaker 1: misconduct and and and violence. We gotta really be legitimately
Speaker 1: have legitimate conversations around it and look to make changes
Speaker 1: and leave politics out of it. So that's what I
Speaker 1: personally believe, and I think you offer your your thoughts
Speaker 1: on that now as we go into something that's a
Speaker 1: little bit more of a lighter part of it. And
Speaker 1: my wife said she wasn't gonna say that much about it,
Speaker 1: but she got a lot to say. I don't I personally,
Speaker 1: you know, don't you know it's upsetting every time, you know,
Speaker 1: just even talk about it, because then it makes me
Speaker 1: think about the news news clips and the videos, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, and then it just makes me upset. So no,
Speaker 1: I don't want to consume myself with seven because it's
Speaker 1: it's depressing. It's very depressing, very depressing. So anyway, moving
Speaker 1: on to relationship talk, we're talking to Mike Hill and
Speaker 1: Cynthia Bailey here on the Outloue with gianno Conwell we've
Speaker 1: got much more with them, ACTI quick, right, thank you
Speaker 1: all for coming on to educate us on and you
Speaker 1: know what your experiences at Madam and relationships. And you
Speaker 1: all are obviously a power couple. You're on television every day. Um,
Speaker 1: you're you're very viral. You're on the Real Housewives of
Speaker 1: Atlanta and I think is the number one out of
Speaker 1: the entire franchise for Bravo. So this is this is
Speaker 1: a really good time to understand your story and what
Speaker 1: you all have gone through and experiences, your challenges outside
Speaker 1: of each other and with each other. And of course, Mike,
Speaker 1: you wrote a book called Open Mic where you talk
Speaker 1: deeply given your perspective on relationships. But let's start from
Speaker 1: the very beginning. So a logical place would be to
Speaker 1: start with how you all met, And let's let's kick
Speaker 1: that off. Mike, go ahead, Well, we we met in
Speaker 1: the most unconventional way. We actually met on the Steve
Speaker 1: Harvey Show when he had a talk show on NBC.
Speaker 1: He was doing a dating segment, UH and A, and
Speaker 1: he had Cynthia on the show before. He's a good
Speaker 1: friend of Cynthia's and he wanted to help Cynthia out
Speaker 1: with her dating life. I was on a dating app
Speaker 1: and he's old school. Steve is old school. He was like,
Speaker 1: what the hell are you doing on dating app? You
Speaker 1: don't need to be on dating ap. You know, I
Speaker 1: got I know plenty of brothers that would blood to
Speaker 1: go out with you, So, you know, joking around, I
Speaker 1: was like, well, if you think you can do a
Speaker 1: better job than find me somebody and I can then
Speaker 1: go for it. Joking, you know, I didn't know fast
Speaker 1: Forward I would actually actually be doing his dating pool. Yeah. So,
Speaker 1: so there was a producer that reached out and I
Speaker 1: was doing fast Sports radio and reached out to a
Speaker 1: friend of mine or my co host at the time,
Speaker 1: and said, hey, you know what, might be interested in
Speaker 1: doing a dating show, um and meet one of the
Speaker 1: real housewives of Atlanta. My first question was which one,
Speaker 1: because obviously, because not all of them would have gotten
Speaker 1: my attention. But when he said Cynthia, I'm like, okay, cool, Yeah,
Speaker 1: go on there. Well that goes without saying that goes
Speaker 1: without saying I just you know, you know, everybody knows
Speaker 1: Cynthia Bailey's to find is the most classy one of
Speaker 1: all the Housewives franchises, but now not true. It really
Speaker 1: is you, my baby, I can say that, but you know,
Speaker 1: so I went on there and I didn't expect much.
Speaker 1: I didn't think Cynthia Bailey was going on there looking
Speaker 1: for real love. I thought it was just some kind
Speaker 1: of publicity things. So I was going to go along
Speaker 1: with it and uh, the whole Obviously, I won the
Speaker 1: dating pool and went there, and yeah, but it was
Speaker 1: a slow burn, right, baby, wasn't well. The crazy thing
Speaker 1: is my PR team didn't want me to actually do
Speaker 1: the segment. I was on Steve Show promoting Housewives at
Speaker 1: the time, and we were just playing around and then
Speaker 1: when they went his when people circled back, and I
Speaker 1: was like, hey, we really would like for Cynthia to
Speaker 1: come undo stays dating pool. He really wants to up
Speaker 1: hook her up. And my PR team at the time
Speaker 1: was like, you know, we don't really think, you know,
Speaker 1: it's a good look. Really, we just don't feel really
Speaker 1: feel like you need to do it. You know, they
Speaker 1: don't really you know, it's kind of it's not really
Speaker 1: it's not really like a celebrity version of it, Like
Speaker 1: basically they're like, it's usually for regular people and not
Speaker 1: for folks on TV. So from a PR Steff Wonder
Speaker 1: like it's beneath you basically to do it. You shouldn't
Speaker 1: do it, but you know what, I'm going hear me
Speaker 1: some loser like Mike our team and trying they were
Speaker 1: trying to look at for my best interests. But here's
Speaker 1: the thing, you know, I always just kind of go
Speaker 1: with my spirit and my heart and just kind of
Speaker 1: do whatever I want to do. Like I have a
Speaker 1: great team of people that you know, give me great advice,
Speaker 1: but at the end of the day, I'm going to
Speaker 1: do what I want to do. And it just kind
Speaker 1: of came up at a time where I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, as long as I have to get
Speaker 1: stuck with nobody that I don't like, as long as
Speaker 1: I if I don't have to pick anybody, if I
Speaker 1: don't like any of these dudes, let's go, let's have fun.
Speaker 1: And it was a free trip to l A and
Speaker 1: I love being out in l A. So I was like,
Speaker 1: let's let's go. Let's make it happen. So she made
Speaker 1: it happen once again. She picked me, and I didn't
Speaker 1: think anything of it. I like, like I said, I
Speaker 1: thought i'd see her around, you know, maybe a couple
Speaker 1: of years later and invent celebrity event of whatever and
Speaker 1: say hey, let me stop Mike. Okay, first of all,
Speaker 1: Mike was the cutest one. He was was lined up. Okay,
Speaker 1: hold on, why why did you hear the shade? She said,
Speaker 1: like it was Mike and a bunch of I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm not an Elba's clan. It's like it wasn't like
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying is Mike was definitely the standout. Okay.
Speaker 1: When I was walking out to the stage, Mike and
Speaker 1: these two other really nice guys were already out there. Okay,
Speaker 1: they had three other dudes. They were like backup dudes
Speaker 1: because I could switch a guy out if I didn't
Speaker 1: like what I saw when I made it out there.
Speaker 1: And when I walked past the backup guys, I was like,
Speaker 1: I hope to hell does some better looking men on
Speaker 1: this page. The backup plans are not gonna be backing
Speaker 1: anything up over here. So um, anyway, long story short,
Speaker 1: and I know we're not making it short. That's okay
Speaker 1: out in every way, he just came off just super confident.
Speaker 1: Um fun uh. He came off way more spirit and
Speaker 1: religious than he actually is the man at he has
Speaker 1: not taken me to church once we have, we haven't
Speaker 1: been able to church. This is I've known you almost
Speaker 1: four years now. If I stepped inside a church with
Speaker 1: Mike kill at this point, it will probably fall down
Speaker 1: on us. But I remember what stood out was every
Speaker 1: question that I asked him, you know, had something about God.
Speaker 1: So I was like, Okay, now I'm trying to be
Speaker 1: as lady. I don't know if I want to be
Speaker 1: the first lady. Is he? Is he getting better go
Speaker 1: into I mean there's clearly a ministry inside this me. No,
Speaker 1: But every question that that was a genuine answer. You know,
Speaker 1: I still have I have a strong belief in God, strong,
Speaker 1: very spiritual. You know, every night. This is the first
Speaker 1: man I've ever been with that we get on our
Speaker 1: knees every name. And so just because we're not in
Speaker 1: the house of the Lord, doesn't mean that the Lord
Speaker 1: isn't inside us, you know what I mean? So yeah, absolutely, man,
Speaker 1: that's what That's what relationship is built on. But once
Speaker 1: in so she picked me slow burned. I didn't think
Speaker 1: I was going to actually see her. We went on
Speaker 1: a date because the producers actually tricked us because it
Speaker 1: went a couple of weeks right back, it was like
Speaker 1: a week well, and then so I get I get
Speaker 1: an email from the producer, and the emails from the
Speaker 1: produce like Cynthy Bailey really likes you, she really wants
Speaker 1: to go out with you. Is it okay for you
Speaker 1: to have her number and give her a call? Like
Speaker 1: oh really? And lo and behold. It was telling her
Speaker 1: the same thing, you get in touch with you directly, okay. Well,
Speaker 1: when I was like all right, sweating me so hard. Gone.
Speaker 1: But you know what's funny because one of the things
Speaker 1: I've really walked away when I first initially met when
Speaker 1: I first initially met Mike, before we even went out
Speaker 1: on a date, was just thinking, you know, it just
Speaker 1: seems like a good dude, Like I didn't know, like,
Speaker 1: you know, I wasn't like, oh my god, like I
Speaker 1: can't wait to go out with him, and this is
Speaker 1: death with someone I could see myself spending the rest
Speaker 1: of my life with. My takeaway was he just felt
Speaker 1: like a good guy, Like he just felt like he
Speaker 1: had good intentions and he was funny, and he was cute,
Speaker 1: and you know, he was likable, and he just felt,
Speaker 1: you know, like someone that even if we didn't, you know,
Speaker 1: if it didn't happen for us, I wouldn't mind having
Speaker 1: him as a friend, which is one of the most
Speaker 1: important things you can have in any kind of relationship
Speaker 1: that gets serious, is the friendship first. And I felt
Speaker 1: like I could be friends with the man. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: piggyback off of that, I felt the same way even
Speaker 1: if it wasn't somebody I was going to spend the
Speaker 1: rest of my life with. With Cynthia, when I first
Speaker 1: got to know her, I felt like, I'm going to
Speaker 1: know this woman. She's going to be a part of
Speaker 1: my life in some capacity. I don't know what, but
Speaker 1: I felt a connection with her and she was just
Speaker 1: so sweet, so genuine, which she still lives in this
Speaker 1: very day. Uh. And I was like, maybe I could
Speaker 1: introduce her to her next husband, or she introduced me to,
Speaker 1: you know, my next wife. Who knows. But I knew
Speaker 1: after a short amount of time that she was going
Speaker 1: to be in my life for a long period of time.
Speaker 1: And uh, you know, I'm lucky enough that she's my
Speaker 1: wife and now she's Mrs Hill, not Cynthia. You said
Speaker 1: it was like at first sight rather than love at
Speaker 1: first sight. How did things change to love? Things changed
Speaker 1: well to love. She might not want to get too graphic,
Speaker 1: but things changed over time. You know what, We just
Speaker 1: took our time. You know what, what's important to me
Speaker 1: when someone expresses an interest in getting to know me
Speaker 1: is consistency. You know what I'm saying, Like, and I'm
Speaker 1: not saying you gotta blow me up the whole time,
Speaker 1: but if you start off calling me five times a
Speaker 1: week and then you drop down to once every two weeks,
Speaker 1: that's not gonna work from miss bailing. Now, if you
Speaker 1: start off calling me once every two weeks and that's
Speaker 1: just what we're doing, then that's fine, but you can't, like,
Speaker 1: you gotta be consistent with what, what, whatever it is like,
Speaker 1: you got to be consistent with it. And one of
Speaker 1: the things about Mike was he was consistent. You know,
Speaker 1: he would call and check in. He wasn't like overly
Speaker 1: checking in, but he made it pretty clear that he
Speaker 1: wanted to be in touch. You know, he had some
Speaker 1: distractions going on at the time when I met him,
Speaker 1: have some things he was in the l a street.
Speaker 1: You have some thoughts out there too. I had some
Speaker 1: distractions going on at the time as well, so neither
Speaker 1: one of us was like it in a rush to really,
Speaker 1: you know, do anything. But it just got to a
Speaker 1: point where the more I really started talking to him
Speaker 1: more consistently, and then when we kind of graduated from
Speaker 1: just talking and text into face timing. Um. I just
Speaker 1: remember specifically he he had started writing his book and
Speaker 1: he was like reading me some stuff from his book,
Speaker 1: and I just was I just remember thinking, wow, like, okay,
Speaker 1: guy and his brother been through something, you know, Like
Speaker 1: it just kind of made me want to know more
Speaker 1: about him. And I love um, you know, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't want to say I love people struggles, but
Speaker 1: I love to see someone want to be better. I
Speaker 1: love people that are trying to be happy. And I
Speaker 1: loved when people are on a quest for peace, and
Speaker 1: I love when people are just trying to live in
Speaker 1: their purpose. And I felt like he was trying to
Speaker 1: figure it out, and I felt like some of the
Speaker 1: things that he was telling me about his past, it
Speaker 1: just didn't seem like he was happy or happy. And
Speaker 1: for me, that is devastating because I'm always on a
Speaker 1: quest for peace. I have peace, and I even want
Speaker 1: more peace Like that is I used to say I
Speaker 1: just want to be happy. I don't say that anymore.
Speaker 1: I say that I want peace because I feel like
Speaker 1: I believe that if I have peace, I have happiness happiness.
Speaker 1: But I could have happiness and I have peace. So
Speaker 1: I wanted to see him when even if I wasn't
Speaker 1: included at the end of his journey, but I wanted
Speaker 1: to be supportive of what he would. It felt like
Speaker 1: he was trying to do for himself, like I felt
Speaker 1: like there was some self love missing or something, and
Speaker 1: I wanted to Um, I don't know, I just roote
Speaker 1: it for him, and then I ain't marrying a man.
Speaker 1: What do you want me to say? Yeah, it's interesting
Speaker 1: because I've had the honor and privilege of knowing Mike
Speaker 1: before he met you, Cynthia. And one thing I realized
Speaker 1: when Mike and I we would go out. We may
Speaker 1: go to a restaurant, bar, or whatever the situation was,
Speaker 1: and I just remember, whatever you need to say correctly.
Speaker 1: That was the old man the new man here. But
Speaker 1: no I saw I saw a sincere change in Mike.
Speaker 1: When y'all begin dating in I'll never forget you said
Speaker 1: that again, Like what kind of change when you say
Speaker 1: a sincere change? Like what meaning? He was all about you?
Speaker 1: And I think everyone realized that from seeing social media,
Speaker 1: Instagram and all of that good stuff. But I'll never
Speaker 1: forget talking to you, Mike. We were a town. It
Speaker 1: was a Friday night in Los Angeles hangout. We were
Speaker 1: there all the time that I'm sorry to take that
Speaker 1: part out. That's gonna be a beat. John put a
Speaker 1: beat Cassi producing, he'll beat that word. But sincerely, though,
Speaker 1: I remember talking to you on a Friday night, Mike.
Speaker 1: I don't remember if you you remember this. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you remember this, but I was like, man, bro,
Speaker 1: like are you in love? Like you? And he was like, Bro,
Speaker 1: it's real, um and love. I'm like, man, because you
Speaker 1: were going so hard. I'm like, I never seen this before.
Speaker 1: So it was just so interesting to see that transition
Speaker 1: just take place and it hit hard. It was almost
Speaker 1: like you know when you you data celebrity, like y'all
Speaker 1: both celebrities. You have both been on television. That's all
Speaker 1: good and fun, but sometimes you kind of you go
Speaker 1: in slow just to see how a person responds to
Speaker 1: you and you don't you know, you don't take it
Speaker 1: up a notch too quickly. But Bro was hit nor
Speaker 1: I couldn't believe it. So it was almost like a certainty,
Speaker 1: like you knew, Mike, did you know that this was
Speaker 1: gonna be your wife? Like? When did you know? You know?
Speaker 1: I didn't know, like I said, in the beginning of
Speaker 1: our relationship, and a lot of people didn't know about
Speaker 1: our relationship for a while, obviously, because when you're dating
Speaker 1: a select really you need to keep that quiet for
Speaker 1: a while because you know, people come for you and
Speaker 1: and it's a different animal once you're out in the open.
Speaker 1: Even if I've been on television, Cynthia is the celebrity.
Speaker 1: I'm just a dude that's on television. I've been on
Speaker 1: television for a while. But she's a celebrity and I
Speaker 1: understand that, and it's a different animal that's out there.
Speaker 1: So we didn't uh tell people publicly for a long
Speaker 1: period of time, maybe about four months into a us
Speaker 1: dating uh And then during my birthday, she did something
Speaker 1: really special and it kind of made me say, like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: well she's she's a little different. She did something that
Speaker 1: nobody had ever done from me, but nobody else. Still
Speaker 1: my birthday party, so pretty much threw the man a
Speaker 1: birthday party and he was in Well it wasn't but
Speaker 1: it wasn't just a birthday party, but it was like
Speaker 1: an intimate affair. She had set up her wind seller
Speaker 1: before it actually had gotten built out, you know, candle lights, whatever,
Speaker 1: cater and I'm like, this is this is for me.
Speaker 1: I've always been I've always been a giver in relationships.
Speaker 1: I've always been the one that has been asked to give,
Speaker 1: and you know, you know, you receive a little bit,
Speaker 1: but I never really expected it. And if I received something,
Speaker 1: that was always in return or something I've given. Nobody's
Speaker 1: ever given me something without me actually giving them something.
Speaker 1: So when Cynthia did that for me and always tried
Speaker 1: to look out for him, like she's a little different
Speaker 1: and it had nothing to do with her celebrity or
Speaker 1: her family whatnot. I wanted to date the individual. I
Speaker 1: wanted to date the person Cynthia Deniece Bailey, and that's
Speaker 1: why I found out. So over a period of time,
Speaker 1: I just started to open up a little bit more
Speaker 1: because you'll tell you I in the beginning, I was
Speaker 1: very guarded, guarded. Michael's very guarded when I met him. Uh,
Speaker 1: he was always kind of looking like literally was trying
Speaker 1: to get in the door, but had an exit, exit
Speaker 1: strategy the whole time. Yeah. Um, he was afraid to fall,
Speaker 1: afraid to commit, afraid to be honest, he was just
Speaker 1: afraid of everything. Yeah, And it was obvious. And I'm
Speaker 1: you know, he met me at a point in my
Speaker 1: life where not only do I know what I want,
Speaker 1: I know what I don't want. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, look, we're doing this, we're not doing this.
Speaker 1: Like I'm not like I don't go for me relationships.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't have like a fear, like I
Speaker 1: just love my pisces. I jumped all in with both feet.
Speaker 1: If it works out, it works out. If it doesn't,
Speaker 1: it doesn't. It ain't that deep, so I'm not really
Speaker 1: trying to be halfway in and trying to be halfway out.
Speaker 1: And I was like, dude, like, either we're gonna do
Speaker 1: this or we're not gonna do this, Like this is
Speaker 1: not a host situation we want if you're scared, if
Speaker 1: you're that concerned and you just don't know if you
Speaker 1: if this is making you this uncomfortable. We don't have
Speaker 1: to be together. But but but but it wasn't an
Speaker 1: uncomfortable with just me still figuring it out. I was
Speaker 1: still going through my process, and like you said, I
Speaker 1: was writing my book at the time, and I was
Speaker 1: working through my issues. As I told you before, Giano,
Speaker 1: my book was my first form of therapy. We talked
Speaker 1: about this as black men growing up in certain environ
Speaker 1: ments or just in general. You know, it's just not
Speaker 1: something that we have in our community is therapy. And
Speaker 1: my book became my therapy. And as I was writing
Speaker 1: my book and I was sharing some of my stories
Speaker 1: in my past and my truths with Cynthia, she was
Speaker 1: the first woman that really accepted and didn't judge me
Speaker 1: for him as a matter of fact, that brought us closer.
Speaker 1: And as I started, as I started talking about a
Speaker 1: little bit more, I felt like I can trust her
Speaker 1: because I can tell her some of my most intimate
Speaker 1: details that I probably hadn't even told people before. And
Speaker 1: the reaction that she gave me made me feel like
Speaker 1: I could trust her a little bit more. So I well,
Speaker 1: I will say this and then we can move on
Speaker 1: to the next question. I'm a very secure woman. I'm
Speaker 1: extremely secure, and I think it's very rare to find
Speaker 1: someone that says it and it's actually true. Like I'm
Speaker 1: not going to question stuff. I'm not trying to check
Speaker 1: your messages. I don't care about any that. I don't
Speaker 1: give a damn who you following. I don't care. But
Speaker 1: as long as you if you're with me, as long
Speaker 1: as you're being appropriate, I don't care about you. Like
Speaker 1: it that part, And she's a classy one on the
Speaker 1: house because people don't anyway. But like there's like I think, like,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know what Mike was used to,
Speaker 1: but I feel like I know, I know l a dating.
Speaker 1: I know that's like and I feel like it's a
Speaker 1: lot of game playing and like, oh, you know you
Speaker 1: gotta be like, oh, let me try to you know,
Speaker 1: if you text me, let me wait two or three
Speaker 1: days the texting back, like playing all these stupid games
Speaker 1: that I do not play. If I like you, I'm
Speaker 1: going to act like I like you. And if you're
Speaker 1: looking for a challenge, if you think me calling you
Speaker 1: a couple of times a day that I'm not being
Speaker 1: a challenge anymore, that's a turn off. And you can
Speaker 1: miss me with all of that, Like, I'm not playing
Speaker 1: any of those games at this point in my life.
Speaker 1: I've never played those games. I'm certainly not going to
Speaker 1: do it now. And I felt like, you know, Michael's
Speaker 1: used to at L a dating style, and it was
Speaker 1: like I think he had been, you know, in some
Speaker 1: situations before me that maybe didn't work out for him,
Speaker 1: that he would have liked for them to work out,
Speaker 1: and I think those people may have been playing games.
Speaker 1: So it was just kind of like a weird like like,
Speaker 1: you know, we just had to kind of just have
Speaker 1: a come to Jesus on it because I'm not I'm secure.
Speaker 1: I don't care what you did. It is what it is.
Speaker 1: If you want to be with me, then be with me.
Speaker 1: And if you don't gonna be with somebody else, Like
Speaker 1: it's just not that complicated. And if you want to
Speaker 1: call me, if I want to call you fifty five
Speaker 1: times a day, I'm going to call you fifty six
Speaker 1: times a day. That's how something of Bailey rolls. And
Speaker 1: if I don't feel like talking, I'm gonna say, hey,
Speaker 1: I love you, babe. I don't feel like talking today.
Speaker 1: Like I just think honesty and transparency and realness is
Speaker 1: what really matters at the end of the day. And
Speaker 1: then somebody's checking for you. They hear you because they
Speaker 1: like you, but if they ain't really checking for you
Speaker 1: that hard, they're gonna find a reason to not go
Speaker 1: with whatever you're what, whatever you're trying to be honest about.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, because at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, if I'm telling you the truth and telling
Speaker 1: you how I feel and I'm being vulnerable and putting
Speaker 1: it out there and you use it against me in
Speaker 1: some way, that's childish, that's stupid. That's playing games like
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't like stuff like that, and I'm
Speaker 1: not that girl. And again I feel like i'm I don't.
Speaker 1: I can say I don't know who else. I do
Speaker 1: know a lot of people who's been he's been with,
Speaker 1: but I'm secure, I don't know if that was always
Speaker 1: his experience. So the rules change when you're dealing with
Speaker 1: someone that actually is curious. So then you gotta be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: well this is different. She's not harassing me. She let
Speaker 1: me hang out. Mike has like more girlfriends that he
Speaker 1: has guy friends. I don't care. Yeah, and I know
Speaker 1: him all like being around a lot of women, also
Speaker 1: a flir. He's a lot of those things. But as
Speaker 1: long as he's not disrespectful to me or being inappropriate,
Speaker 1: if he's with me, I don't care. Do whatever you
Speaker 1: gotta do to feel good. Brother, whatever you got going on,
Speaker 1: ain't got nothing to do with me. What you need,
Speaker 1: what you need to feel good, and got nothing to
Speaker 1: do with me. So if um, you know, however you move,
Speaker 1: as long as it's not disrespecting me, if you're with me,
Speaker 1: we're good. Mm hmm. Now you know what's interesting social
Speaker 1: media these days? And Cynthy, I know you have three
Speaker 1: point three million followers on Instagram and it's it's a
Speaker 1: popular culture thing. And to be very honest with you all,
Speaker 1: I feel a little hopeless with where the culture is
Speaker 1: when it comes to dating and social media and the
Speaker 1: girls being half naked. And I'm recently out of a
Speaker 1: relationship that I thought was gonna go the distance but
Speaker 1: it didn't, and it it kind of made me feel
Speaker 1: a bit bad about what dating may look like, uh
Speaker 1: kind of moving forward and almost, like, to be honest
Speaker 1: with you, I seemingly don't really want to date and
Speaker 1: that's really the feeling that I get because it just
Speaker 1: seems like it's a lot of trash out there and
Speaker 1: women these days, at least from what I've seen in
Speaker 1: a number of instances. I know that's not all women,
Speaker 1: but it just seems like it's just a fast paced
Speaker 1: kinda l a vibe and you know, how much money
Speaker 1: do you have? What can you do for me? And
Speaker 1: it's just it seems like a very toxic culture um
Speaker 1: these days. What advice would with you both either you know?
Speaker 1: Please both of you responded, is what advice would you
Speaker 1: have for those who are interested in getting married and
Speaker 1: feel hopeless? Because I'm almost feeling like, man, I don't
Speaker 1: know if I'm gonna ever get married, and I'm thirty four,
Speaker 1: and I feel like, you know, Mike, I know you've
Speaker 1: been married a couple of a couple of times. I'm like,
Speaker 1: my man has been married a couple of times. I
Speaker 1: can't even get one, like what's going on all my
Speaker 1: alimony payments. I appreciate that and all the money I've
Speaker 1: lost over the years in a heartache, and thank you
Speaker 1: for ripping off the band ai G. I know I
Speaker 1: appreciate that, but go ahead, I'm sorry you got a
Speaker 1: lot of advice to get we're being real, I would
Speaker 1: you were here here well, first of all, first and foremost,
Speaker 1: I was sad to hear that your last relationship didn't
Speaker 1: work out. You know. Michael was kind of you know,
Speaker 1: I was kind of hearing things from him, how it
Speaker 1: happy you were, and it just seemed like it was
Speaker 1: it was the one. And then when he said that,
Speaker 1: you guys, it didn't work out, and I don't don't
Speaker 1: even remember the reason, maybe didn't even tell him, I
Speaker 1: can't remember, but whatever he told me didn't work out. So, um,
Speaker 1: I was sad to hear that because it seemed like
Speaker 1: you were happy, um with In regards to the question
Speaker 1: that you're asking me, I would say to you, first
Speaker 1: of all, don't let you know the fact when things
Speaker 1: don't work out, sometimes it's a good thing because that
Speaker 1: person could be in the way of the person that
Speaker 1: you're supposed to be with when it happens, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So that's just part of your journey,
Speaker 1: that's part of whatever you whatever. Take the good of,
Speaker 1: whatever the good was, let you know, let it be
Speaker 1: a teachable moment, whatever, and go into this next thing
Speaker 1: whenever it HAPs definitely a teachable moment, that's for sure.
Speaker 1: You write about that one. I got notes learn you're
Speaker 1: gonna learnt trust me notes well, but but don't but
Speaker 1: don't let you know. We all have been through relationships
Speaker 1: that didn't maybe end the way that we would have
Speaker 1: liked for them to end. But please don't like put
Speaker 1: bring that into the new situation when that's become a situation,
Speaker 1: because that's not fair to the new person, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. But I would say, in terms of
Speaker 1: social media, you gotta figure out what you what you
Speaker 1: what you want? You know what I mean. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of temptation out there on social media. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of beautiful women out there on social media there,
Speaker 1: some of them good, some come in peace, and some
Speaker 1: come with bad intentions. So I would say, you gotta
Speaker 1: figure out. You gotta figure out what you want and
Speaker 1: what you're looking for. You know what I'm saying. If
Speaker 1: you just want, you know, some eye candy, just something
Speaker 1: to look good at, somebody with a bunch of following,
Speaker 1: somebody with a bunch of likes and all that stuff,
Speaker 1: you gotta figure out what you really are looking for.
Speaker 1: And I feel like once you kind of figured that out.
Speaker 1: Like take your time and like be selective because you
Speaker 1: gotta remember you are a prize as well, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, So who not only look for what
Speaker 1: you want, but who deserves you? You know? Who told
Speaker 1: me that on social media you might be able to
Speaker 1: find on social media because I'm not gonna I'm not
Speaker 1: going to rule that out. But it's so funny because
Speaker 1: you just said that you are a prize as well,
Speaker 1: and someone told me that just two weeks ago, my
Speaker 1: my sister And now who's a part of your franchise,
Speaker 1: Anie Kate Williams. She was saying, listen, Giano, you a
Speaker 1: prize as well. You gotta keep that in mind. And
Speaker 1: I think that's important for guys to know, as the
Speaker 1: folks who are listening when you pursue women know your
Speaker 1: value as well. Yeah, yeah, when you know who you
Speaker 1: are and you know what and I'm saying you don't.
Speaker 1: I think sometimes when it comes like you can have
Speaker 1: your stuff just like a woman kid, you could have
Speaker 1: everything together and then when it comes to the affairs
Speaker 1: of the heart, just end up being a fool basically,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Just love? Can you know fools? Water,
Speaker 1: fools fall in love. You know what I'm saying. You
Speaker 1: have to just be just as focused and strategic and
Speaker 1: your personal life as you are in your professional life
Speaker 1: when it comes to what you want and what you
Speaker 1: don't want, and when you sit when you see those
Speaker 1: signs come up when you meet somebody, Because there are signs, brother,
Speaker 1: now you can acknowledge them, you know. Science. That's where
Speaker 1: you need to fall back a little bit and be like, wait, okay,
Speaker 1: now what is that? What is that that feeling you get?
Speaker 1: We're like, oh, that didn't really feel right? Non't here?
Speaker 1: Right up? Pay attention to that, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: because it means something. If you feel something, it means something.
Speaker 1: And and just be honest with yourself. If you want
Speaker 1: a nice girl, look for a nice girl. If you
Speaker 1: want a boss, look for a boss. If you want
Speaker 1: an Instagram thought, go live your happy life with the
Speaker 1: Instagram thought looking for don't want the temptations and the
Speaker 1: distractions of Instagram thought, and then really want to be
Speaker 1: overre with somebody classy. No, it doesn't work like that.
Speaker 1: Do do you figure out what you really want? Because
Speaker 1: the two are not the same. The two are not
Speaker 1: the same, be honest with yourself absolutely, And for those
Speaker 1: who may not know, a thought is a loose woman
Speaker 1: in kind terms over there, but this is you know,
Speaker 1: your audience, babies, it's just like just still, you know, okay, thought?
Speaker 1: Then he has to give the definition of a thought
Speaker 1: a lose lose lady. Eat. Okay, that's question. No, I'll
Speaker 1: just let you talk. You realize perspective. Well, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna be able to finish my thought anyway. So it's saying,
Speaker 1: go ahead, Mike, go ahead, Mike, and Cynthia, I'm enjoying
Speaker 1: your your commentary. Thank you so much. Mike. What are
Speaker 1: your thoughts? This popular culture is so important now and
Speaker 1: it it seems as though a lot of people lead
Speaker 1: with Instagram these days. They don't lead with how can
Speaker 1: we get to know each other? Can I take you
Speaker 1: on a date? Can I be a gentleman? And it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: how many followers do you have on Instagram? As though
Speaker 1: that that determines you're prominent on how you're going to
Speaker 1: treat a person, and it's it's become a very toxic,
Speaker 1: toxic culture. In my opinion, you can meet on candy
Speaker 1: on Instagram. I don't know if you're gonna meet your wife,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you're gonna meet you your your
Speaker 1: queen necessarily on Instagram. There are different ways obviously that
Speaker 1: you can meet people through dating apps, through Instagram. Social
Speaker 1: media is huge these days, obviously, But you know what
Speaker 1: about old school ways of doing things? I mean, and
Speaker 1: it's not just about the pictures. It's not about the looks.
Speaker 1: It's not about how many lights that they have or
Speaker 1: how many times that they can throw out these pictures
Speaker 1: out there on their stories, on their on their posts
Speaker 1: and and throw face tune on to it, and and
Speaker 1: they know their angles. But how about getting to know somebody,
Speaker 1: being able to talk to somebody, getting to feel somebody.
Speaker 1: Uh As as Cynthia was talking about, You're not gonna
Speaker 1: find somebody who's perfect. You're never gonna find a perfect woman.
Speaker 1: You just need to find somebody's perfect for you. And
Speaker 1: like everybody told you, like I tell my daughters all
Speaker 1: the time, you know you're worth You know you are
Speaker 1: a king. If you feel like you're a king, you
Speaker 1: need to be with somebody who is a queen and
Speaker 1: vice versa. And if you find yourself a queen, you
Speaker 1: need to be worthy of the crown that you said
Speaker 1: that you're gonna put on your on your head yourself,
Speaker 1: so you gotta act that way. Bottom line is, man,
Speaker 1: look you know, um, you just have to go out
Speaker 1: there and and be encouraged, be discouraged. Everything happens for
Speaker 1: a reason. What you went through with that young lady
Speaker 1: happen for a reason. It allows you to grow, uh,
Speaker 1: and it's gonna prepare you for life to come in
Speaker 1: one way or another with the next person that you're with.
Speaker 1: But when you go into your next relationship, make sure
Speaker 1: you go into your next relationship as a whole person.
Speaker 1: So you can go intore looking for somebody that is
Speaker 1: perfect or somebody that's great and this whole and has
Speaker 1: everything to offer, but make sure that you are prepared
Speaker 1: first before that happens. And I always say that your
Speaker 1: best relationships are between two people who are a whole.
Speaker 1: And on my analogy is you can take a two
Speaker 1: layer cake. You can have that first layer, it's got
Speaker 1: to be perfectly rounded, right. That means that cake is whole,
Speaker 1: and the other layer has to be perfectly rounded. That
Speaker 1: cake is whole, and then you stack them on top.
Speaker 1: Everything that you create on top of that is like
Speaker 1: the icing on the cake, literally pretty much and figuratively right.
Speaker 1: But if you've got somebody who isn't whole or they're
Speaker 1: missing something, a slice that's not gonna look the same.
Speaker 1: So then you find yourself supplementing, uh, something that you're
Speaker 1: looking for in a relationship because you're missing something, so
Speaker 1: you're taking that from that person, and that then that
Speaker 1: person takes that away from you. Then you're longing for
Speaker 1: that person, and that person might not be necessarily right
Speaker 1: for you. So once again, y'ano, don't be discouraged by
Speaker 1: don't say you know, social media is out there and
Speaker 1: I can't find a woman because I'm sliding somebody's d ms.
Speaker 1: They're sliding in my dms. You know. I know it's
Speaker 1: Corona and COVID and you're not able to get out
Speaker 1: and socialize. But get out socialized and meet somebody, and
Speaker 1: then then they might necessarily not necessarily look like Holly Berry.
Speaker 1: They might not be the perfect tin, But there ain't
Speaker 1: nothing wrong with a good eight and a great personality
Speaker 1: and a spiritual person and somebody who loves and respects
Speaker 1: and honors you. And then all of a sudden, that
Speaker 1: eight that you saw before turns out to be the
Speaker 1: tin that you need. I want to pick up from
Speaker 1: there at the moment, but first let's go to break. Now,
Speaker 1: let's be clear saying like options I got low list,
Speaker 1: you may not get a T, but you can get
Speaker 1: a three and a half and uh. People. But see,
Speaker 1: the thing is like everybody's everybody's looking for that woman
Speaker 1: that is out there, that it's that Instagram model and
Speaker 1: everybody wants him whatever, you know, but sometimes those women
Speaker 1: aren't prepared for you, that they're not the right woman
Speaker 1: for you. Just because if I agree with that, I
Speaker 1: don't think everybody's looking for an Instagram model. I think
Speaker 1: there's a lot of man out here that are looking
Speaker 1: for a successful woman that has her own stuff going on,
Speaker 1: that's looking for a boss. You know. That's that's that
Speaker 1: would be me. That's what you ain't got, Like no
Speaker 1: Instagram model, Um, just somebody that has it going on,
Speaker 1: somebody that you have some kind of connection with. Uh.
Speaker 1: But I would say I would say this, I think
Speaker 1: I agree with a lot of things that Mike said.
Speaker 1: But if you're going to go to the Gram and
Speaker 1: a lot of times a lot of people don't have
Speaker 1: lot of other options. But to go to the Graham,
Speaker 1: I would definitely played by your own rules. Shorten a
Speaker 1: betting process. You know what I'm saying. If you meet somebody,
Speaker 1: if you somebody seems like they're interested in you, and
Speaker 1: you guys, get some kind of dialogue and dams, cut
Speaker 1: the damns out quickly. Okay, I'm not gonna be sitting
Speaker 1: up dam and no food for three or four weeks
Speaker 1: and months. No, you don't want to get you're in
Speaker 1: my damns. That means you're telling me that you're interested
Speaker 1: in some way. So what do you want and communicate?
Speaker 1: Stop the texting to I'm not gonna do that. You're
Speaker 1: not gonna text me. I'm get if I gave my
Speaker 1: phone number, call me and then let's talk. And if
Speaker 1: you ain't talking about none, if you don't like what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about, then you don't have to lose You
Speaker 1: don't have to lose it because I'm just gonna block you.
Speaker 1: And that's what I don't understand people out here on
Speaker 1: one of DM they want to text. They don't even
Speaker 1: ask for phone numbers these days. It's like, what's your
Speaker 1: I G that's that's what That's what a lot of
Speaker 1: people are doing. These days. Secret I'm on Instagram. I
Speaker 1: have quite a few followers. I've had men sliding my dams.
Speaker 1: Any any famous when you and if I feel like
Speaker 1: I want to get to know you, I'm going to
Speaker 1: give you my phone upp. If I'm not checking for
Speaker 1: you and I'm playing games and I got ten other
Speaker 1: guys in my d MS, I'm kind of wearing my options.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to give you my phone up. But
Speaker 1: if I'm interested, I'll give you. I'll give you my
Speaker 1: number and say, hey, but why are you? Why men
Speaker 1: sliding in d ms when they have an opportunity to
Speaker 1: meet that person face to face, A lot of times
Speaker 1: they could be right in that person's face state, but no, well,
Speaker 1: I mean, if they're in a different state. I understand
Speaker 1: that we've got a lot of suitors out there because
Speaker 1: you know all your your thoughts. You know, we already
Speaker 1: know what thoughts me, and we don't have to explain
Speaker 1: that anymore. We have to explained that anymore. So it
Speaker 1: is the thing. But you know the thing is, if
Speaker 1: I'm in the same space with you, I'm in the
Speaker 1: same city, and I've been in the same room with you,
Speaker 1: and I met you that night, why am I sliding
Speaker 1: any your d MS instead of talking to you face
Speaker 1: to face and getting to know you and getting the
Speaker 1: vibe with you and finding maybe finding a connect you
Speaker 1: right away and then once I do talk to you,
Speaker 1: if I reach out to you because I didn't meet
Speaker 1: you in person, I meet you through d M. You
Speaker 1: send me your number. I'm not texting you over and
Speaker 1: over and over again. I'm calling you. We're having a conversation. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't feel like if I meet you
Speaker 1: right away, I'm going to meet in person because I
Speaker 1: want to get to know you a little bit better.
Speaker 1: I'm big on talking on the phone, not texting, but
Speaker 1: having phone conversation and then when I get a little comfortable,
Speaker 1: I'm big on face timing with you so I can
Speaker 1: just kind of seeing a house. Let me ask you
Speaker 1: all about this. Y'all familiar with a brother by the
Speaker 1: name of Kevin Samuels. He has a big YouTube channel,
Speaker 1: big following. I've been trying to get him on the podcast.
Speaker 1: He talks about relationships quite frequently and he often mentioned
Speaker 1: high value men. He talks about what a high value
Speaker 1: man wants, and he wants a woman that's gonna be
Speaker 1: submissive to him, and he talks about if you're if
Speaker 1: you're a high value man, and then women shouldn't pay
Speaker 1: for anything. He says he feels insulted if a woman
Speaker 1: chooses to try to try to pay for anything, a meal, rent, mortgage, anything.
Speaker 1: Y'all familiar with Kevin Timmys, y'all agree with some of
Speaker 1: that rhetoric about sister, you know, like I need yeah
Speaker 1: stands for now. I do now. I do think a
Speaker 1: man should be prepared to pay for those things if
Speaker 1: he asks a woman out. But here's my rule, and
Speaker 1: this is you know, obviously I'm married now, so I'm
Speaker 1: not looking. I'm not out there before anymore. But when
Speaker 1: I was dating, if I asked you out, I'm definitely
Speaker 1: paying for the first meal. I'm paying for the second meal.
Speaker 1: More likely I'm taking care of all that. But if
Speaker 1: we go out, we continue to go out by the
Speaker 1: third or fourth meal. If you don't even fame or
Speaker 1: fake like you're going for the bill or say something like,
Speaker 1: oh you always pay, Let me buy you dessert, let
Speaker 1: me buy you a drink, let me make you dinner.
Speaker 1: I'm wondering. I really am wondering now, and I'm an
Speaker 1: old school guy and not get that or whatever. But
Speaker 1: at the same time, I want to see that the
Speaker 1: woman is with me for more than just a foodie call.
Speaker 1: And that is and l A is like that a
Speaker 1: lot women they are going on dates with guys just
Speaker 1: for food foodiecause that's what they call them, foodie calls.
Speaker 1: It ain't a booty call. It's a booty call. I
Speaker 1: can't even wrap my head around that. That's just I
Speaker 1: just yeah, that's because for his birthday, you running head,
Speaker 1: de private chef a whole admit for the brothers understood,
Speaker 1: you have value woman, So I get that. Now, let
Speaker 1: me ask you all this because I know how much
Speaker 1: time with y'all is. We're recording on a Friday night.
Speaker 1: This comes out on Monday, so y'all got things to
Speaker 1: do and it's kind of late. But what do you
Speaker 1: think are the most important things that make a relationship
Speaker 1: and a marriage last? What are those? Honesty? Trust, trust, compatibility,
Speaker 1: commitment and and and and and willing to work out
Speaker 1: differences and understand that they're going to be issues in
Speaker 1: your relationship. Yeah, and friendship. Friendship, you gotta be friends
Speaker 1: with your you have to like your husband, you gotta
Speaker 1: love them and you gotta like them two different things.
Speaker 1: You ain't gonna like them all the time, but like
Speaker 1: most of the time, you gotta like them most of
Speaker 1: the time, and you gotta be well. Once again, I
Speaker 1: think working through the issues that you have and finding
Speaker 1: somebody that is worth working through those issues. When you do,
Speaker 1: when you do that, that's when you I think when
Speaker 1: you're in love. I really do. Yeah, I agree. I
Speaker 1: agree with that. Um, everyone you know my cast is issues.
Speaker 1: I have my issues. You're not getting Thanks for saying that. Well,
Speaker 1: it's the truth both of us. I said, you had
Speaker 1: yours and I happen. I don't know if he was
Speaker 1: going to say your other part though, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I don't know. We both everyone has issues. We do
Speaker 1: okay whatever those issues are. Some may have more issues
Speaker 1: than the next person. But everyone has issues. You have
Speaker 1: to decide, you know. I want to know, Like when
Speaker 1: I get to know someone, I don't want to just
Speaker 1: want to know the good things about Tell me to
Speaker 1: asta and so so I can know if I want
Speaker 1: to sign off sign up for that. Tell me the
Speaker 1: bad stuff? What are your what are the flaws? Because
Speaker 1: I need to know if I want to hang around
Speaker 1: for the flaws, around for the good stuff. Tell me
Speaker 1: the bad stuff. What's your worst thing about you? What's
Speaker 1: your weakness? What what you know? What are your deal breakers?
Speaker 1: What are your dealings? You know? For me, my deal
Speaker 1: breakers are I'm definitely not going to be with someone
Speaker 1: who is who I can't trust. I just can't. I
Speaker 1: don't have time. I can't do it. I cannot do it.
Speaker 1: I cannot do it. So I gotta feel comfortable. You
Speaker 1: can't make me feel comfortable. We can't be together. I
Speaker 1: gotta feel um peace. You don't bring me peace. We
Speaker 1: can't rob It's not gonna happen. So, yeah, issues like
Speaker 1: what are you willing to ride with somebody on or
Speaker 1: with through through? What are you willing to do because
Speaker 1: some stuff you may not want to be like you
Speaker 1: know what, I just ain't gonna be able to do
Speaker 1: the like that's one of your things. Like it. Mike said,
Speaker 1: this is an extreme example, and Mike said, Um, I
Speaker 1: like doing cocaine. Wait a minute, is this a confession
Speaker 1: because I've never seen it? But tell us, Mike, do
Speaker 1: you like cocaine. I'm just gonna call you cocaine. This
Speaker 1: is I've never used cocaine in my life, right, so
Speaker 1: even if he I know this is a hypothetical, but
Speaker 1: to say he did have you know, because people do
Speaker 1: you know, people are on drugs and stuff, all right,
Speaker 1: I would say, do I want to do it with that?
Speaker 1: You wouldn't help me get cleaned up? Baby? I mean
Speaker 1: I could. I could say, Hey, you know what, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna see you through this, help you get off cocaine,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna be there with you. I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: to cocaine anonymous with you and all that stuff. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. But I have to ask myself
Speaker 1: do I want to do I want to go through?
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. I dated somebody that is
Speaker 1: an alcoholic, and at one point he wanted to date again,
Speaker 1: and he cannot drink because he's an alcoholic. I like
Speaker 1: to drink, and I didn't feel like I don't want
Speaker 1: to not drink around him because he's an alcoholic. That's
Speaker 1: this problem. You know what I'm saying, I want to
Speaker 1: go to the restaurant and order margarita. But now I
Speaker 1: got to be feeling some kind of way. But because
Speaker 1: you know, it may break him down, I don't want that.
Speaker 1: I can't be in a relationship with somebody that is
Speaker 1: an alcoholic when I'd like to drink, So that alone
Speaker 1: wasn't different break. I was like, look, dude, I wish
Speaker 1: you well and I hope you meet somebody, but I'm
Speaker 1: might have my cocktails. I'm a reality starter. I need
Speaker 1: I can't do it. That's an issue I didn't want
Speaker 1: to take on. So that conversation couldn't go further than that.
Speaker 1: So cocaine okay, but alcohol no good, no, no no,
Speaker 1: I just used alcohol was like real situation that happened
Speaker 1: to me. The cocaine, you know, the drugs and black
Speaker 1: I said, some people are willing to put you know
Speaker 1: do uh. You gotta be true to yourself. I don't
Speaker 1: want to deal with that. Well for me, I want
Speaker 1: to know the rules. Give me the rules. Let me
Speaker 1: know what we're doing in the beginning, because if you
Speaker 1: can do it, I can do it, bottom line, and
Speaker 1: I want to see if you say you want to
Speaker 1: do it, if I want to deal with it, and
Speaker 1: vice versa. So it's not gonna be a double standard.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna be one rule for one person and
Speaker 1: not the other. I want to play by the same
Speaker 1: set of rules that you're playing by. Equality is big
Speaker 1: for me across the board in any way. So if
Speaker 1: you're able to do this on social media, get away
Speaker 1: with it. I'm able to do this on social media
Speaker 1: and get away with it, bottom line, across the board.
Speaker 1: So I don't like that double standards are no no
Speaker 1: from me. And well, let me just point out that
Speaker 1: Mike is definitely the petty one in the relationship, so
Speaker 1: trust and belief he can get petty petty petty. Okay,
Speaker 1: if if I do something and it rings in the
Speaker 1: wrong way, oh brother, mad over here, gonna gonna pay
Speaker 1: me back. Now, Well where the other I'm gonna know
Speaker 1: that I hadn't hurt this man feelings in some way.
Speaker 1: He's going to go there for sure. So what is
Speaker 1: it like being in a relationship where both of you
Speaker 1: are in the public eye. M h blessing and a curse?
Speaker 1: You know, it's it's it's it's difficult. You know a
Speaker 1: lot of great things have come out of it. But
Speaker 1: at the same time, you know, when you sign on,
Speaker 1: like for me, I'll just speak for myself. I signed
Speaker 1: on to be a reality star, so I gave up
Speaker 1: my privacy. Today, I decided to be a cast member
Speaker 1: of the Real Houseways of Atlanta. Um. With that said,
Speaker 1: you know, my life is out there. I put my
Speaker 1: life out there. I am not surprised to shock when
Speaker 1: people have opinions about my life, good or bad. It
Speaker 1: just is what it is. Um. You know, for the
Speaker 1: most part, I try to conduct myself in a way,
Speaker 1: carrying myself in a way where I don't get a
Speaker 1: lot of hate and scrutiny. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: I'm always expecting it because you know, hat's gonna hate.
Speaker 1: You know, it just is what it is. So the privacy.
Speaker 1: But you know, I've been I've been in the game
Speaker 1: for a long time now, I'm kind of you know,
Speaker 1: I have a tough skin. I pretty much I don't
Speaker 1: enjoy it. But I can deal with this point and
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lose sleep over. Um. You know, people
Speaker 1: saying nasty things about me or just not liking me
Speaker 1: or whatever it is. You know, they, you know, the
Speaker 1: trolls may say, or the blogs and may say, Like
Speaker 1: I just can't really consume myself with that because at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, I don't know these people. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, if Michelle Obama and Oprah was somewhere wearing
Speaker 1: me out, then maybe my feelings will be hurt. But
Speaker 1: you know, usually you know, I don't really you know,
Speaker 1: if someone I respected, you know, if I disappointed in
Speaker 1: some way, then that would be hard for me. But
Speaker 1: as far as just trolls on social media, bloggers that
Speaker 1: I don't know, you know, their opinion does not matter
Speaker 1: to me, and they're entitled to have it. But I
Speaker 1: don't I get I get to still not care, but
Speaker 1: they're entitled to happen. I think of us something form
Speaker 1: of relationship aspect. It's tough, and I'm just gonna speak
Speaker 1: for me because you know, I've been on national news
Speaker 1: for the last sixteen seventeen years. ESPN had a following there,
Speaker 1: but this is a different animal for me, and it
Speaker 1: took me a long time. Is actually adjust to the scrutiny,
Speaker 1: the criticism that comes with it, because your every move
Speaker 1: is scrutinized. I could be having lunch with a female
Speaker 1: companion that's a friend that I could just have face
Speaker 1: time with with Cynthia, and somebody can take my picture
Speaker 1: and try and put it in the blog and make
Speaker 1: it seem like it's worse than what it is. And
Speaker 1: once it happens, then automatically people just want to believe it.
Speaker 1: I can take a picture and put it on social
Speaker 1: media and they're gonna find something wrong with They always
Speaker 1: have an issue and they always want to say something
Speaker 1: about our relationship. In the beginning, it was fake. It's
Speaker 1: for storyline. Uh. It's like, oh, he's a cheater, he's
Speaker 1: doing all this, he's gonna do number, cheat on or whatnot.
Speaker 1: Uh oh, and they're the h they're engaged. I was
Speaker 1: for the storyline, and then all of a sudden, you
Speaker 1: get married or it's the only gonna last for three months,
Speaker 1: I'll give it a year. You see all that type
Speaker 1: of stuff, and you understand where it's coming from. And
Speaker 1: like Cynthia said, you know, a hater has never done
Speaker 1: anything that's better than you, So you gotta understand where
Speaker 1: it's coming from and and the type of person that's
Speaker 1: coming from. But it's still tough to get used to
Speaker 1: because it is our relationship. It is our love and
Speaker 1: we know how genuine it is and we don't want
Speaker 1: anybody questioning. But the people who are questioning it, we
Speaker 1: have to just pray for them, and uh, you know,
Speaker 1: I hope that they can find something as good as
Speaker 1: we have them. Well, but you know, at the same time,
Speaker 1: you you pray for him, and you pray that they
Speaker 1: find somebody as as wonderful, uh and and as loving
Speaker 1: and have a relationship as beautiful as we have, so
Speaker 1: they don't really care what they do. Well, then that's
Speaker 1: your that's your soul, My soul. My spirit basically says,
Speaker 1: you know, I block them to but I'm still gonna
Speaker 1: pray for him as I block them. Bottom line. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you gotta you know, see, I still got the spirit
Speaker 1: in my baby, see the bottom But you know, but no,
Speaker 1: bottom line is, man, It's it's tough. It really is
Speaker 1: tough sometimes being in this celebrity relationship and having you know,
Speaker 1: people having their opinions and seeing anything that they want
Speaker 1: to about you at any particular time. You know, sometimes
Speaker 1: I just wish I could be uh dating just a
Speaker 1: regular person or just a regular person and not have
Speaker 1: to worry about, you know, how I'm dressed, or if
Speaker 1: I put something on social media, how you know, if
Speaker 1: it's gonna be scrutinized. But I just want to just
Speaker 1: have fun and be myself sometimes. Yeah, I can understand
Speaker 1: why some celebrities, you know, when they get to a
Speaker 1: certain level. And I use the word celebrity loosely when
Speaker 1: it comes to me, I just consider myself a reality star. Um.
Speaker 1: But anyway, UM, I can see how some of the
Speaker 1: bigger celebrities, and I think celebrity, I think, like Eddie
Speaker 1: Murphy is somebody, you know what I'm saying. I could
Speaker 1: see why they kind of become introverts and kind of
Speaker 1: isolate themselves. I can understand that the more fame I get,
Speaker 1: the more um piece I crave. Um. The more I
Speaker 1: don't like being in the spotlight, the more I don't
Speaker 1: like to be that social media around a lot of
Speaker 1: different people because you know, you don't know what people
Speaker 1: want from you. And also, I'm very protective of my energy,
Speaker 1: and I don't like certain energy around me, So I'm
Speaker 1: very protective of that. Um Yeah, I mean it's stuff.
Speaker 1: It's tough, but it's it's part. It's you know. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think about my little bit of little little bit
Speaker 1: of celebrity I have, and I think about somebody life
Speaker 1: beyond it. I'm like, with ch'awd, what is she doing?
Speaker 1: I can't imagine her? Hater is goodness gracious, but you
Speaker 1: know what, I look at what I see and in
Speaker 1: her life and her relationship, it seems like, you know,
Speaker 1: they protect each other. They protect each other. You know,
Speaker 1: they do what they need to do too. They have
Speaker 1: figured out a way to have peace that celebrity, and
Speaker 1: I think that's the trick. There's a reason. You know,
Speaker 1: I live on a lake. I need peace. I need
Speaker 1: that balance in my life. I need to be able
Speaker 1: to come home to peace. I think that's very, very important.
Speaker 1: So when the noise is going on, in the chaos
Speaker 1: and the trolling and whatever, it doesn't take me out
Speaker 1: because I have peace. No matter what you don't like me,
Speaker 1: I still get to come on the peace. I had
Speaker 1: a bad episode, I still get to come on to peace. Um.
Speaker 1: You know, the the things that I care about, I'm
Speaker 1: clear about the things I care about my family. You know.
Speaker 1: That's it. That's what I happened at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, you know, And that's it. In your in
Speaker 1: your relationships, isn't your Your relationship isn't scripted for the show.
Speaker 1: It's it's real life. And people may assume that it's scripted,
Speaker 1: but it's real life. Oh trust me. So I wish
Speaker 1: it was scripted, it would be easier. I wish we
Speaker 1: could just come up and make it up. This is
Speaker 1: our real life, and um, I wouldn't have it any
Speaker 1: other ways. To be honest, I've been on reality TV
Speaker 1: for over a decade now, and all I've ever done
Speaker 1: was be me and be transparent. Show my ups, downs, peaks, valleys, highs, lows,
Speaker 1: strong points, weak points, be vulnerable, be a mess, be
Speaker 1: a boss, be strong. I've shown it all and with that,
Speaker 1: I'm inspiring somebody. I'm motivating somebody to do something. And
Speaker 1: I always just choose to focus on the positive. You know,
Speaker 1: my real life is my real life, and I show
Speaker 1: if I'm gonna be a reality show, a reality start,
Speaker 1: I have to show my real life. Social Media is
Speaker 1: a choice. I have to participated that phone too, know
Speaker 1: what I mean. My job, my life, the job that
Speaker 1: I've chose to have, you know, that's all a choice.
Speaker 1: Everything else, you know, you know, well, those are the
Speaker 1: things that I want to do. Um participating on social media,
Speaker 1: that's that's my choice, you know. Engaging you know, that's
Speaker 1: my choice. Well, as we as we bring this to
Speaker 1: a close, I wanted to ask you, Mike a question
Speaker 1: because when you're on TV. You're such a positive and
Speaker 1: upbeat person in life, and for my experience with your
Speaker 1: very positive and upbeat but as we know from your
Speaker 1: amazing memoir Open Mic, which came out last year, you've
Speaker 1: battled your share of enter demons. Why did you write
Speaker 1: the book and if you would tell us some of
Speaker 1: your personal struggles from from childhood. Well, I wrote the
Speaker 1: book because I needed to write the book. It was time.
Speaker 1: I I started writing it because a friend of mine
Speaker 1: told me I needed to write a memoir because I
Speaker 1: was telling her about my about my past and some
Speaker 1: of the things that dealt with over my career and
Speaker 1: my personal life. But I didn't feel like it was
Speaker 1: time to write because I didn't think anybody was going
Speaker 1: to read it. I'm like, who am I'm not a celebrity,
Speaker 1: I'm not anybody big, nobody cares about my life. But
Speaker 1: then I picked it back up and started writing again
Speaker 1: about three or four years later, because I felt like
Speaker 1: I needed to write it because if I didn't write
Speaker 1: it at that particular time, which was about three or
Speaker 1: four years ago, I wouldn't be here right now. And
Speaker 1: I really truly believe that Giano, I really feel like
Speaker 1: I would have had a stroke, I would have died
Speaker 1: of a heart attack because I had so much internal
Speaker 1: pain and trauma and sadness that was embedded in me
Speaker 1: that I had just suppressed for so many years that
Speaker 1: needed to be released. And as I told you earlier
Speaker 1: in the podcast, open Mic was my therapy that I
Speaker 1: didn't even realize I needed to have. So once I
Speaker 1: started writing a book, uh, everything started flowing out and
Speaker 1: I started feeling a sense of relief, and I had
Speaker 1: to even write more and more. And once I started writing,
Speaker 1: I couldn't stop writing. And uh So some of those pains,
Speaker 1: some of those traumas, you know, we deal with as
Speaker 1: uh we talked about it, as as being growing up
Speaker 1: in certain environments as a black man, you know, seeing
Speaker 1: domestic violence. You know, at an early age. One of
Speaker 1: the first memories I had in my life was seeing
Speaker 1: my mom, you know, brutally beaten by my dad. Uh
Speaker 1: finding out my dad, my stepfather who who raised me,
Speaker 1: because my biological father wasn't in my life. My stepfather
Speaker 1: was a hit man who spent the last nine years
Speaker 1: of his life in prison for murder for higher you know,
Speaker 1: a lot of the things that I saw and didn't
Speaker 1: see a lot of love and didn't see a lot
Speaker 1: of positive male role models in my life growing up.
Speaker 1: So I didn't know how to love. I didn't know
Speaker 1: how to commit to anybody. The first person I ever
Speaker 1: told I love this woman looked at me like I
Speaker 1: was crazy, and it affected me for so many years.
Speaker 1: So it was so many different things that happened to
Speaker 1: me at an early age that we as black men
Speaker 1: a lot of times just deal with because we feel
Speaker 1: like that's life and we're never gonna get the the
Speaker 1: help that we need. And so the reason you asked
Speaker 1: me why I wrote the book, it is because at
Speaker 1: the time, I needed to write that book, uh, and
Speaker 1: that became my first sense of therapy, and once I
Speaker 1: got that out, I was able to follow up with
Speaker 1: a counselor and I've been doing that ever since. Bro
Speaker 1: and Gianno just really quickly. If Mike had written that book,
Speaker 1: I don't think we would be together. M Honestly, I
Speaker 1: really don't. I don't think he would um. I don't
Speaker 1: think he would have been able to be with someone
Speaker 1: like me, and I don't think I would have wanted
Speaker 1: to be with him. You know, I wouldn't have been ready.
Speaker 1: I wasn't because you know, there was a lot of things,
Speaker 1: and it cost me a lot of relationships. And I
Speaker 1: wrote that in open mic. It cost me because I
Speaker 1: wasn't whole, because I didn't realize that I was hurting
Speaker 1: myself one way, but I was hurting the people around
Speaker 1: me because of the things that was affected me in
Speaker 1: my life that I didn't even really know about. And
Speaker 1: I was reaching out, like I was telling, you know,
Speaker 1: since you I didn't trust a lot of people in
Speaker 1: the beginning because I didn't trust myself because I wasn't
Speaker 1: in love with myself. I couldn't fall in love with
Speaker 1: somebody else, and that you to my ex wise, you know,
Speaker 1: I could love somebody, but I could not fall in
Speaker 1: love with somebody, and that was a big difference. And
Speaker 1: I was hurting myself and I was hurting other people
Speaker 1: around me. So yeah, until I was able to become whole,
Speaker 1: I wasn't able to accept somebody, uh like Cynthia, because
Speaker 1: you know, I was playing games. I was being a
Speaker 1: boy and acting like a man and thinking I was
Speaker 1: a man, you know. So once I wrote the book,
Speaker 1: I was able to start stepping into my manhood. And
Speaker 1: I'm still doing that to this very day. Wow. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I have a copy of your book. It's a
Speaker 1: great memoir and I encourage people to buy it. And
Speaker 1: I also want to thank you for supporting my book.
Speaker 1: Taking for granted you and Cynthia went out and bought
Speaker 1: it on your own. I didn't have to give a
Speaker 1: free copy and you didn't have to do that for
Speaker 1: me because I supporting each other. So I appreciate that.
Speaker 1: And I want to thank you all for spending you'all
Speaker 1: Friday night with me. It's currently a p m on
Speaker 1: the Friday, and I know y'all probably got the drink
Speaker 1: stirring in the background and ready for that for the
Speaker 1: for the Bailey Bailey drink. What's what's the name of
Speaker 1: your drink, Cynthia Um Peach Bellini, Sigrums Escapes, Peach Bellini,
Speaker 1: Peach Bellini, So I know those that's that's getting ready
Speaker 1: for your Friday night. Now before we go, what's next
Speaker 1: for you guys? Do you have any big projects coming
Speaker 1: up for the folks at home that they should know about?
Speaker 1: What can people find you on social media? And that's
Speaker 1: where elsewhere? And what's next for the Real Housewives of
Speaker 1: Atlanta and and certainly. UM, plug your your morning show,
Speaker 1: Mike on Black News Channel. Okay, what's next in terms
Speaker 1: of Real Housewives of Atlanta. Um, we just finished film
Speaker 1: of the reunion, three part reunion that's coming up. That's
Speaker 1: always fun to watch. Not as much fun to do,
Speaker 1: but definitely fun for y'all to watch. It's a long day,
Speaker 1: a lot going on, but I actually enjoyed the region
Speaker 1: because it's our time to have the face to face
Speaker 1: and just get closure with whatever issues. Um, Mike and
Speaker 1: I have a couple of other TV projects that we're
Speaker 1: working on together. We can't really say right now, but
Speaker 1: as soon as we are able to officially announce them,
Speaker 1: we will come back on your show and we'll let
Speaker 1: you thank you. But yeah, we got a lot of
Speaker 1: things going on. You guys know, if you're in Atlanta, Uh,
Speaker 1: come have a glass of wine. But that's at the
Speaker 1: Bailey Wine Seller. Um. Absolutely, But we're good right now.
Speaker 1: You know, we're like six months into our marriage. Our
Speaker 1: biggest project right now, our biggest job right now is
Speaker 1: now that we have tied the knot. You know, getting
Speaker 1: married is one thing. Stand married, you know, just working
Speaker 1: on our relationship, just keeping it going, you know, getting
Speaker 1: here is one part like just stand, like just being
Speaker 1: keep standing in this place of love and happiness and peace.
Speaker 1: You know that takes work. You just don't get married
Speaker 1: and then it just magically everything is perfect. You gotta
Speaker 1: work on it. You gotta keep you know, you gotta
Speaker 1: keep your marriage going and keep it happy and healthy.
Speaker 1: Which is why my man is about taking me to
Speaker 1: dinner on a date. Yeah. But now I got you know,
Speaker 1: I got the Black News Channel. Man, it's just started
Speaker 1: and we just launched in marsh re launched. You'll start
Speaker 1: your day with sharing the mike, so getting up super
Speaker 1: early in the morning, having a good time. It's part
Speaker 1: of talk show, a part news shannel. We keep it
Speaker 1: real great platform. But also you know, at Cynthia said,
Speaker 1: we got a couple of projects that we're working out
Speaker 1: that's coming out pretty soon. Open Mic still in bookstores,
Speaker 1: Bonds and Nobles, Target, Walmart, and um one more place Amazon, Amazon,
Speaker 1: there you go, Amazon dot Com. Semo. Man is always
Speaker 1: looking out for me there and uh, I got my
Speaker 1: open mic sessions that I'm doing and just you know,
Speaker 1: enjoying life, man, that's what it's all about. And hanging
Speaker 1: out my man. Gia L. A but he's hanging in
Speaker 1: Miami so much. Now you come see me anymore? Brother, Yeah,
Speaker 1: now I'm gonna be with you. And I saw that
Speaker 1: I rather I didn't see a lot of people told
Speaker 1: me that I made the Real Housewives of Atlanta when
Speaker 1: I was at your wedding. So yeah, you was dancing, bro, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's one of my biggest skill sets. I hit the
Speaker 1: dance floor. You have a the time, man, you absolutely
Speaker 1: you already know indeed, Well, thank you all for joining
Speaker 1: out lout with Gianno calledwell and it's been an honor
Speaker 1: to hear your story again and expose my audience to
Speaker 1: uh your lives and it's it's really an honor to
Speaker 1: see where you all are and where you're going. And
Speaker 1: I'm so thankful to be a friend to you both
Speaker 1: and and just see it up close and personal. And
Speaker 1: thank you for sharing that light with with with my listeners. Giano,
Speaker 1: Thank you man for having us on May We really
Speaker 1: appreciate your brother absolutely, Thank you, my guy. I want
Speaker 1: to thank Mike Hill and Cynthia Baby Hill again for
Speaker 1: the great interview. If you're enjoying the show, please leave
Speaker 1: us a review and rate us with five stars on
Speaker 1: Apple podcasts. If you have any questions for me, please
Speaker 1: email me at out Loud at get your Street sixty
Speaker 1: dot com and I'll try to answer them in our
Speaker 1: future episode. You can also find me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook,
Speaker 1: and parlor at Gianno Caldwell. And if you're interested in
Speaker 1: learning more about my story, please pick up a copy
Speaker 1: of my best selling book title Taken for Granted, How
Speaker 1: Conservatism Can Win Back the Americans at Liberalism Failed. Special
Speaker 1: thanks for our producer John Cassio, researcher Aaron Klingman, and
Speaker 1: executive producers Debbie Meyers and speaker New Gingridge, all part
Speaker 1: of the Ginglidge three sixty network