1 00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:06,720 Speaker 1: Hey, guys, Before we start this week's episode, UM, I 2 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:08,840 Speaker 1: wanted to let you know that this episode will be 3 00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:12,240 Speaker 1: for all of the men, women and everyone in between 4 00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:17,440 Speaker 1: UM to definitely just open your ears, UM, be open 5 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:20,599 Speaker 1: to learning. We are bringing you, guys an episode that 6 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:22,640 Speaker 1: a lot of you have asked for, UM, and with 7 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:25,680 Speaker 1: the current climate going on, I think that we would 8 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,880 Speaker 1: do disservice to all of you by not having this conversation. 9 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:32,600 Speaker 1: So for the next hour UM, across from us, we 10 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:36,599 Speaker 1: do have professionals. We will be digging into everything regarding 11 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:41,120 Speaker 1: women's rights and what's going on with abortions, UM, and 12 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:44,440 Speaker 1: of course just our bodies and what the rights that 13 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:47,239 Speaker 1: are being taken away from us right now. So I'm excited. 14 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:51,720 Speaker 1: It's a Monday morning. We here as always, it's horrible decisions. 15 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:55,160 Speaker 1: I'm your girl, Mandy. Hi, I'm easy, and we have 16 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 1: two wonderful people here to join us in this conversation. 17 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: Can you go ahead and introduce your selves to our 18 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:03,680 Speaker 1: listeners and let them know why you guys are sitting 19 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:07,399 Speaker 1: across from us. Hi, thank you guys for having us. 20 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:11,720 Speaker 1: I'm Lacy and here with Danielle UM. I am kind 21 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:15,320 Speaker 1: of a newcomer to this work. I've been more deeply 22 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:18,679 Speaker 1: involved in the last year, but um, prior to that, 23 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:20,559 Speaker 1: I worked in media for like the last ten years 24 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,120 Speaker 1: and really wanted to help put the medicine in the 25 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:27,039 Speaker 1: sugar and have recently transitioned into working in sexual and 26 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:31,479 Speaker 1: reproductive health and rights. And Danielle actually who you'll meet 27 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:36,080 Speaker 1: in a moment um. I attended a meeting with her 28 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:43,759 Speaker 1: in January of oh seven, ye of seventeen, dating myself. 29 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,880 Speaker 1: I came to a meeting in my community and she 30 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:49,560 Speaker 1: was speaking about, like, you know, post Trump, like what 31 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 1: was going on, and she lit a fire under my 32 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:54,800 Speaker 1: ass and I started to volunteer and become an advocate 33 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 1: and eventually work for an organization that does this work. 34 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:02,360 Speaker 1: So here to talk about everything, yes, yes, and then YEA, 35 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:05,480 Speaker 1: what is it that you do? U, I'm so excited 36 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:08,079 Speaker 1: to be here. I'm excited to have you. UM. So 37 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:11,080 Speaker 1: I work for an organization called the National Institute for 38 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:15,000 Speaker 1: Reproductive Health. I am the vice president of Political and 39 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,680 Speaker 1: Government Affairs, which is a lot to say with my 40 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:20,680 Speaker 1: very long first and last name. As well. We heard, girl, 41 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:24,200 Speaker 1: I gotta like gear up to do it in meetings, um, 42 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:26,040 Speaker 1: and what that means is and I r H as 43 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 1: an organization that works at the state and local level 44 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:33,480 Speaker 1: to try to UM improve access to abortion another reproductive 45 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:36,560 Speaker 1: health care UM. One of the things that I always 46 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:40,239 Speaker 1: clarify and this is important for like the general public, 47 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:43,000 Speaker 1: but also people in the movement. We're a reproductive health 48 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,720 Speaker 1: and rights organization. So what that means is we focus 49 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 1: on changing laws UM. With that comes culture change and 50 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:56,600 Speaker 1: UMU community organizing. But it's all sort of with the 51 00:02:56,600 --> 00:03:00,000 Speaker 1: the premise of trying to change laws in policies. There 52 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:05,520 Speaker 1: is UM an additional movement called Reproductive Justice UM, which 53 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:08,960 Speaker 1: is what we try to use to inform the work 54 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:11,040 Speaker 1: that we do. But that is really a much more 55 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:16,000 Speaker 1: holistic movement UM designed to advocate for people to have 56 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,600 Speaker 1: children and families when they want to and where they 57 00:03:19,639 --> 00:03:22,520 Speaker 1: want to, and for it to be safe and healthy 58 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,040 Speaker 1: for them to do that UM. And it's a movement 59 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:29,280 Speaker 1: that is created by and led by people of color, 60 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:32,600 Speaker 1: started by black women primarily UM. So I always feel 61 00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:36,280 Speaker 1: like I want to like clear if I where we 62 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:39,880 Speaker 1: sit within the movement well, and I also want to 63 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,440 Speaker 1: touch on just kind of how hard I know that is, 64 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,000 Speaker 1: especially with the climate change so on one of my flights. 65 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,600 Speaker 1: I don't remember what city I was going to, but 66 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:50,119 Speaker 1: I ended up watching On the Basis of Sex, which 67 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:53,080 Speaker 1: is about Ruth Ginsburg. If you guys, um watched that movie. 68 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:58,200 Speaker 1: It was literally a woman lawyer who took I guess 69 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:02,040 Speaker 1: her law studies to go and change women's rights and 70 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 1: kind of all of the outdated laws that are specific 71 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:09,600 Speaker 1: to gender mostly women. UM. So I just know that 72 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,120 Speaker 1: that's very hard to do. And before we start this conversation, 73 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:15,960 Speaker 1: I guess one of the things that you actually came 74 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:19,120 Speaker 1: in and said before we start having the conversation, you said, 75 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:23,040 Speaker 1: we need to touch on who has abortions, before we 76 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,479 Speaker 1: get into the stigma surrounding it, before we bring up 77 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,440 Speaker 1: any myths, and before we even talk about the shape 78 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:29,799 Speaker 1: surrounding it. We want to talk about who has abortions. 79 00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:32,599 Speaker 1: So what is your who has abortions? I mean we do, 80 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:37,320 Speaker 1: I'm the same, Um. The answer is sort of everyone. 81 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 1: Abortion is extremely normal. Um. There's not a ton of 82 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:48,120 Speaker 1: medical procedures in this society that we treat the way 83 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,240 Speaker 1: we treat abortion. And by not a ton, I mean 84 00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:53,279 Speaker 1: like none, Um, other than abortion. You don't have to 85 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 1: go to a tonsilectomy clinic. To get your tonsils removed, 86 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,280 Speaker 1: you go to the hospital where you get the rest 87 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:03,120 Speaker 1: of your medical Um. So the people who have abortions 88 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:09,839 Speaker 1: are um, of every age, of lots of genders. Some 89 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:14,280 Speaker 1: men have women who have abortions. Um, some men have abortions. Uh. 90 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:18,880 Speaker 1: Anybody who can become pregnant can have an abortion. How 91 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:24,159 Speaker 1: do men have abortions? Trans people, gender binary people identify 92 00:05:25,279 --> 00:05:28,159 Speaker 1: people who frankly have an even harder time accessing medical 93 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:33,120 Speaker 1: care than women do. Right. Um, and uh, the statistic 94 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,080 Speaker 1: it changes a little bit. It's one in four, one 95 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,600 Speaker 1: in five women have had an abortion, one in four 96 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:41,840 Speaker 1: recently when I was looking it up and whether it's 97 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:43,719 Speaker 1: one and four and one and five five percent difference, 98 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:46,720 Speaker 1: But like it's crazy how I went online on our 99 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 1: Twitter like the day the Georgia thing happened or whatever, 100 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,719 Speaker 1: and I was like, I want men to send in 101 00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:54,599 Speaker 1: your abortion stories. And I was really grateful for the 102 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,839 Speaker 1: men that stood by women and saying like, hey, this 103 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:59,600 Speaker 1: happened to me too. I mean, we didn't get ourselves 104 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,719 Speaker 1: pregnant it, you know what I mean. And a lot 105 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,760 Speaker 1: of times men don't include themselves in this conversation as 106 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:08,039 Speaker 1: far as the abortion experience goes, as far as the 107 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 1: emotions that go behind the confusion, the financial worries, like 108 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:15,719 Speaker 1: it's a two part job, but only one person holds 109 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:19,680 Speaker 1: the baby. But yeah, consider ourselves lucky if we get 110 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:23,840 Speaker 1: a ride to the clinic right right when you're right, 111 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,120 Speaker 1: two people were involved in or even not only that, 112 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:30,320 Speaker 1: even even the experience from the man automatically saying, well, 113 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:33,760 Speaker 1: you're gonna abort it. So there's also the pressure that's 114 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,000 Speaker 1: automatically given from the man. But then I also know 115 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:37,840 Speaker 1: a lot of men who didn't feel like they were 116 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:40,240 Speaker 1: a part of the decision that was made. So like 117 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 1: the man has felt it from either side. So I 118 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:45,800 Speaker 1: think that that's very interesting. I wanted to get into 119 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:49,400 Speaker 1: I guess now that we know everyone is a part 120 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:52,039 Speaker 1: of the abortion conversation, UM, I wanted to get into 121 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:54,560 Speaker 1: some of the myths UM. And before we get into this, 122 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:56,920 Speaker 1: as you guys know, Weeie and I have both shared 123 00:06:56,960 --> 00:07:00,720 Speaker 1: our abortion story on this show before and I said 124 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:05,120 Speaker 1: something that I would like UM to possibly mend um 125 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 1: or correct um. And as you guys know, I this 126 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:10,360 Speaker 1: is a learning process for me with this podcast, with 127 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:13,200 Speaker 1: bringing people on with learning, you know more about a 128 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 1: ton of things. So something that I said and something 129 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,520 Speaker 1: that I guess and I don't even know how I 130 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,440 Speaker 1: learned it, and I guess you guys can make me 131 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,920 Speaker 1: unlearn it. There's a lot of misinformation, a lot. So 132 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:26,160 Speaker 1: in the abortion episode, I did mention that there could 133 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:30,320 Speaker 1: be caused, um, fertility issues could be caused with abortions. 134 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:37,680 Speaker 1: Um and Lacy was like, girl, Um, so what is 135 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:40,680 Speaker 1: the actual physical damage that can be done to the 136 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:44,040 Speaker 1: reproductive system if having an abortion? And if not, where 137 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:47,480 Speaker 1: did that come from? So abortion is like exceptionally safe. 138 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:50,680 Speaker 1: It's one of the safest medical procedures out there. It's 139 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:57,760 Speaker 1: safe here now. Seriously, abortion is exceptionally safe. Um. That 140 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:04,239 Speaker 1: misinformation come from the anti abortion movement, and the anti 141 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:08,920 Speaker 1: abortion movement is loud and it is not concerned with 142 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:17,640 Speaker 1: the truth or accuracy in any um and Son. It's 143 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:20,800 Speaker 1: designed to scare you. Um, and it's designed to make 144 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:24,640 Speaker 1: you question this decision that you've already decided is right 145 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:28,560 Speaker 1: for you. Right. So abortion is exceptionally safe. Um. When 146 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:35,320 Speaker 1: abortion is done in UH safe setting, where it's legal, 147 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:39,000 Speaker 1: where providers are trained, where you're receiving abortion care. The 148 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:44,240 Speaker 1: way you're receiving healthcare. In general, abortion is exceptionally safe. Um, 149 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:50,400 Speaker 1: when folks can access abortion earlier in pregnancy, of course. Um, 150 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:52,640 Speaker 1: but of course we've thrown up all these barriers to people, 151 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,920 Speaker 1: um accessing the religion. What are the other tactics like 152 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,960 Speaker 1: you're seeing needs to make people guilt chip their abortion? 153 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:02,160 Speaker 1: So I think there's a lot. The one thing I 154 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:03,959 Speaker 1: do just want to add before I address that, though, 155 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:10,920 Speaker 1: is abortion is significantly safer than childbirth. You are far 156 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,560 Speaker 1: more likely to die in childbirth than you are to 157 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:18,560 Speaker 1: die in an abortion, especial especially now, especially if you 158 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,200 Speaker 1: were a black woman. The rates of maternal mortality in 159 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 1: the US are at astronomical. Abortion is safer than pushing 160 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:29,320 Speaker 1: it out, and for black women it's something like twelve 161 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:34,600 Speaker 1: times higher than for everyone else. High in New York City. 162 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:36,400 Speaker 1: In New York City, I was going to say, that's 163 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:37,840 Speaker 1: what I heard about New York too. I heard it's 164 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:41,120 Speaker 1: higher in New York than anywhere else. We're up there. 165 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:44,440 Speaker 1: It's not the high, but it's high. Although if you 166 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,079 Speaker 1: start breaking the numbers don't even further. If you're a 167 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,880 Speaker 1: black woman giving birth in the South, ron and it's 168 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,920 Speaker 1: basically it's dangerous thing you can do in the US, 169 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:56,040 Speaker 1: black women having babies in the hospital complaining about issues pain, 170 00:09:56,440 --> 00:10:00,080 Speaker 1: that doctor is not listening to us. That's where the 171 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,839 Speaker 1: safe situations happened for black women, right, So right, it's 172 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:08,120 Speaker 1: Serena Williams not being believed, and she's Serena Williams in 173 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:11,680 Speaker 1: the world, just a black woman just saying this doesn't 174 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:14,000 Speaker 1: feel right and a doctor just not believing her. Now, 175 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:16,880 Speaker 1: I guess can I get that to the other spectrum? 176 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,440 Speaker 1: So if a white woman says, hey, this hurts, is 177 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,520 Speaker 1: she just being attended to more? She's more likely to 178 00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:26,559 Speaker 1: be believed believe. But like, we're not all just human 179 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:30,079 Speaker 1: bodies are the color of our skin doesn't change. Are 180 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:33,480 Speaker 1: anatomy is working? No? Of course, friends of mine or 181 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:37,200 Speaker 1: doesn't friends of mine who are having children right when 182 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:40,880 Speaker 1: I'm at thirties, um, like we're always having conversations like 183 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,240 Speaker 1: whether they have a partner in the picture or not. 184 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,200 Speaker 1: Like bring an advocate in the room, Like I know 185 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,840 Speaker 1: you guys had a doula episode, right, Bring someone in 186 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:49,840 Speaker 1: the room who knows what you want, who knows that 187 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:53,280 Speaker 1: at a certain point during um, you know the birthing 188 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,400 Speaker 1: process that the physician can't come over and just like 189 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:58,360 Speaker 1: snip you, because that's what he or she feels is 190 00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:00,560 Speaker 1: the next step, and that you've given your permission to 191 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:03,920 Speaker 1: have something done to your body. Or by snip, she 192 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:09,000 Speaker 1: means an episiotomy, which is cut in the skin between 193 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:14,960 Speaker 1: the bottom of your vaginal opening, which is I believe 194 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:17,520 Speaker 1: Naya may have mentioned that she had We had a 195 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:20,680 Speaker 1: guess that that mentioned friends that have a vaginal birth 196 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:23,480 Speaker 1: that didn't get snipped. So and and there's a lot 197 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:26,840 Speaker 1: of every single one concern about that, right because oftentimes 198 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:30,640 Speaker 1: will and I'm not an expert on childbirth, birth to 199 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:33,439 Speaker 1: child UM, but also I'm in my mid thirties and 200 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:35,680 Speaker 1: spent a lot of time talking to people who have UM, 201 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,320 Speaker 1: and there's a lot of concern. It's much harder to 202 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:42,080 Speaker 1: heal from a decision than it is from a natural 203 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:43,599 Speaker 1: time to talk about it. I feel it in my 204 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:50,080 Speaker 1: feel it. And that's just like one thing in the 205 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,400 Speaker 1: like soup to nuts like process that of like what 206 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:57,400 Speaker 1: your wishes are, what you're consenting to, So overall, like yes, 207 00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:59,840 Speaker 1: black women definitely bear the bront of the statistic for show, 208 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,559 Speaker 1: but if you know anyone who's being who is pregnant, 209 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:05,120 Speaker 1: like tell them to have an Everyone should have an 210 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:09,200 Speaker 1: advocate who knows there was this. I like that. So 211 00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:11,920 Speaker 1: one of the other myths that I wanted to get 212 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:15,680 Speaker 1: on is that many people believe only young, irresponsible women 213 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 1: seek to have abortions. So I wanted to maybe go 214 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,920 Speaker 1: through some of the reasons why someone may want to 215 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:23,439 Speaker 1: have an abortion outside of them being younger irresponsible. I 216 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:27,240 Speaker 1: think that's a terrible title to put on a you know, well, 217 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,920 Speaker 1: so oneing for a women I've had an abortion. There's 218 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,640 Speaker 1: four of us sitting in this room, and the number 219 00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:38,840 Speaker 1: is already higher, right, Um, yeah, abortion, I've liked one. 220 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:42,120 Speaker 1: So and I'll speak from my own perspective. I've had 221 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:44,280 Speaker 1: two abortions and I am thirty nine years old. I 222 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:50,240 Speaker 1: am a product of absolute like AIDS panic. Um. I 223 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:53,520 Speaker 1: grew up as a kid with just AIDS being the 224 00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:56,400 Speaker 1: absolute specter of the most terrifying thing that can So 225 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,000 Speaker 1: I have a lot of like sex paranoia about that 226 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,320 Speaker 1: I've never had the only that's not true I had 227 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,280 Speaker 1: unprotected sex on my wedding night. That is the only 228 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:07,560 Speaker 1: two I have not had unprotected sex. And I still 229 00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:11,760 Speaker 1: had two abortions because birth control is not infallible. I 230 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:14,600 Speaker 1: want to wait, wait, wait, wait, but like I really 231 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,800 Speaker 1: appreciate hearing that. I think it's what adi eight point 232 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:20,719 Speaker 1: something percent. I've had condoms break as far as like 233 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:26,719 Speaker 1: unrightly point something per cent. I don't know what it is, 234 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:31,080 Speaker 1: but like not saying if you're having a lot of sex, 235 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,600 Speaker 1: helping your odds of something going wrong. I currently use 236 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:39,120 Speaker 1: a diaphragm for contraception because I wanted a non hormonal method, 237 00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:42,720 Speaker 1: and because did the men not believe you in your experience? 238 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:44,120 Speaker 1: Like were they like, oh we used the condom? Did 239 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:47,319 Speaker 1: they like make you feel No? But they were like partners, 240 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:50,520 Speaker 1: like long term and like they knew the condom. Bro, Well, 241 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:53,440 Speaker 1: it's not only it's not only even the contraceptive, but 242 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,600 Speaker 1: like we even just had a recent conversation about the 243 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:59,440 Speaker 1: Plan B pill, and there is proven fact that for 244 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:02,120 Speaker 1: women for a certain way, it's not as effective for 245 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:05,760 Speaker 1: we're just talking about that. Yeah, and that was something 246 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:08,920 Speaker 1: for me, Like I just lost, um, almost eighty pounds 247 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:11,600 Speaker 1: in last year, but that was important for me to get, 248 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:15,680 Speaker 1: you know, to my friends who are listeners already. Yeah, 249 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:19,560 Speaker 1: because we read it it was saying that they were 250 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:21,440 Speaker 1: it was like a test study, and I think it's 251 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:24,600 Speaker 1: only a hundred and sixty pounds. It's it's it's it's 252 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,400 Speaker 1: or something. It's somewhere. It's more like very A lot 253 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,680 Speaker 1: of people are over two hundred pounds. Like America, I 254 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:34,320 Speaker 1: think the average weight of a woman was like seven 255 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,720 Speaker 1: pounds away from what it was, which is sucking that crazy. 256 00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:42,680 Speaker 1: And so people contraception contraception fails. Um Contraception isn't always 257 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:46,160 Speaker 1: available because you have a partner that won't use it, 258 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:49,800 Speaker 1: because you can't access it yourself, because you're assaulted, because 259 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:53,120 Speaker 1: of a whole host of reasons. Um, people don't have 260 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:58,440 Speaker 1: a great understanding of their body. Not only there a 261 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:01,120 Speaker 1: timing things properly and our but a lot of people 262 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:04,680 Speaker 1: will even just go based off of their period coming, 263 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,920 Speaker 1: which in fact, you can still be pregnant and still 264 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:10,560 Speaker 1: be having a period. She said it wasn't a real period, 265 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,360 Speaker 1: but she's like I definitely saw some blood and I 266 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:15,720 Speaker 1: was like, okay, yeah, people and people don't really know 267 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:19,200 Speaker 1: how their fertility cycle works. There was just as also 268 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:20,920 Speaker 1: as a side note, there was just a thing one 269 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:24,000 Speaker 1: of the fertility tracking apps it was just released, was 270 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:35,040 Speaker 1: actually like GAUM or something it's with an F and 271 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:38,160 Speaker 1: it just came out that it was created by and 272 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:43,400 Speaker 1: paint abortion by anti abortion Shut the fun Up, which 273 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:46,000 Speaker 1: is an app that was created essentially to allow women 274 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:48,280 Speaker 1: to track their ovulation. And what it was is it 275 00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:52,280 Speaker 1: was purposefully making the relation that it was purposely doing 276 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 1: anything wrong. But what it was was taking that information 277 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:59,480 Speaker 1: and sending it back to an organization that was specifically 278 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:03,760 Speaker 1: trying to you limit abortion rights, which at a time 279 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:08,160 Speaker 1: when we're seeing a I'm trying to figure out the 280 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:11,000 Speaker 1: best way to say this, a complete dissolution of our 281 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:16,360 Speaker 1: government is really terrifying. Not to get to handsmad handmade 282 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:20,680 Speaker 1: tally here, but like also with like you know, all 283 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:24,800 Speaker 1: of the how they were finding that they were tracking 284 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:28,920 Speaker 1: periods for like UM for the girls with migrant children 285 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:32,960 Speaker 1: girls what Scott Lloyd, who was the head of the 286 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,880 Speaker 1: Office of Refugee Resettlement, it's o r R. That might 287 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:37,760 Speaker 1: not be what it actually stands forth something like that 288 00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:41,240 Speaker 1: UM like it had to spreadshetension camps, had to spreadsheet 289 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:45,600 Speaker 1: to when these of all of them teenagers, when they 290 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,760 Speaker 1: were men, they were men, were seeking an abortion and 291 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:51,200 Speaker 1: was trying to prevent them from getting them civil liberties 292 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:54,120 Speaker 1: had to do, like lawsuit after lawsuit after laws. So 293 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:57,560 Speaker 1: like if they imagine if they're tracking that information, how surprising, 294 00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:00,200 Speaker 1: How surprising is it that like an app that you 295 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:05,040 Speaker 1: don't really know where it comes from? Who opulation cycle 296 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,280 Speaker 1: after that? Like I mean, you know they sell the 297 00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:10,800 Speaker 1: kid like so you can figure it out and then 298 00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:13,600 Speaker 1: from there you can make sure. But even like to 299 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:15,879 Speaker 1: this day, I used to app. I've been on the 300 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:19,639 Speaker 1: the method for three years, havn't gotten pregnant. But one 301 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,840 Speaker 1: of my friends doctor we've had on doctor Kim Natural 302 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:26,200 Speaker 1: Happy Doctor. She's like, even with your discharged, like make 303 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:29,359 Speaker 1: sure if that's it, says the fifth, check yourself and 304 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,560 Speaker 1: see if that's really coming out of you, Like this 305 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:33,760 Speaker 1: is how women have done it for years, like fun 306 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:39,320 Speaker 1: the apparelling a machine, right, which is what I said, 307 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:45,919 Speaker 1: Like hopping on planes every weekend and habits changing, all 308 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,120 Speaker 1: of that can effect when you get your periods. So's 309 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,720 Speaker 1: around you? Who's around you? Oh, your period will match 310 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:52,959 Speaker 1: sometimes just even the women that are around you. So 311 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,800 Speaker 1: like to me, yeah, the app thing, I've kind of 312 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,240 Speaker 1: always said, I'm not gonna have it a good, tell 313 00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:02,520 Speaker 1: me it's a good, Like engauge. I've never had an 314 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:05,440 Speaker 1: exactly always one or two days off, but tracking the 315 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,720 Speaker 1: obulations through the kid is what let me know. It's 316 00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:09,600 Speaker 1: just more of like a p s A for your listeners, 317 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,480 Speaker 1: like the things that we are using to collect our 318 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:14,159 Speaker 1: own data, like we're not the only people who are 319 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:18,560 Speaker 1: who have So I wanted to get into me. I 320 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,640 Speaker 1: wanted to get into now our vanilla ship for this week, 321 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,919 Speaker 1: and we're pretty much gonna do a larger segment um 322 00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:27,040 Speaker 1: than normal for our vanilla ship. But I wanted to 323 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,879 Speaker 1: get into what we're facing now with the government and 324 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:34,280 Speaker 1: these bullshit as state laws um. And there are now 325 00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:37,800 Speaker 1: fifteen states who have went as far as to pass 326 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,919 Speaker 1: these abortion laws um, and some that have made abortion 327 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:45,840 Speaker 1: criminal as a criminal fence, others who are making it 328 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,120 Speaker 1: a much shorter time frame in which you can actually 329 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:50,639 Speaker 1: have an abortion, which of course I believe. When I 330 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,560 Speaker 1: was growing up, I lived in the state of Georgia, 331 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,200 Speaker 1: you couldn't get it after in like the third trimester, 332 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:57,159 Speaker 1: which is or the second trimester. It was at like 333 00:18:57,240 --> 00:19:00,000 Speaker 1: six after five months, you couldn't get it in Georgia. 334 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,080 Speaker 1: But right now it's six weeks, which a lot of 335 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,200 Speaker 1: time we have a monthly cycle. Like we just said, 336 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,200 Speaker 1: we can be a week off and still not be part. 337 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,280 Speaker 1: You may not even know, you may not never, We 338 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,520 Speaker 1: may not know in the sixth um weeks. So I 339 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:14,400 Speaker 1: wanted you have your little space. Um. And of course 340 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:17,359 Speaker 1: one of the laws or one of the states that 341 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:20,639 Speaker 1: made the most of us about this was Alabama recently. Hum. 342 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:24,280 Speaker 1: So the first thing I want to start by saying 343 00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:27,720 Speaker 1: is that abortion is technically at least legal in all 344 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:31,360 Speaker 1: fifty states. Still. That is really important to know all 345 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:33,840 Speaker 1: of those states. It is legal for all of these 346 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,520 Speaker 1: states that have passed these six week bands in the 347 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:38,000 Speaker 1: last few months. Uh, none of them have gone into 348 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:43,719 Speaker 1: effect yet they are there's a political strategy behind passing 349 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:46,920 Speaker 1: these laws that are that's aiming to get to the 350 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:50,240 Speaker 1: Supreme Court. So that's the key thing to know. If 351 00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:53,760 Speaker 1: you are in Ohio or Mississippi or Georgia or Alabama, 352 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,280 Speaker 1: it is still legal for you to access abortion states 353 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,320 Speaker 1: and there are people who are trying to help you 354 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,920 Speaker 1: access the abortion care you need. So that's really important. 355 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:02,879 Speaker 1: And we'll give I'll give you a full list of 356 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,760 Speaker 1: like all the resources you can put it up and 357 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:09,400 Speaker 1: will definitely our Patreon, but it'll be in the description 358 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:13,640 Speaker 1: of this episode. So there's there's a bunch of places 359 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:16,320 Speaker 1: that there are laws about abortion right at the state level. 360 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:20,359 Speaker 1: All of this is done under the umbrella of Roe v. Wade, 361 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,760 Speaker 1: which is a Supreme Court decision. We will talk about 362 00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:26,000 Speaker 1: like it as federal law, but it's not a law 363 00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:29,040 Speaker 1: to Supreme Court decision. This is the moment where I 364 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:32,040 Speaker 1: always clarify I'm not a lawyer. I talked to lots 365 00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:35,639 Speaker 1: of lawyers all of the time. I think none of 366 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:40,560 Speaker 1: being lawyers. We see these these new articles that we 367 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,000 Speaker 1: don't know what it means. So I'm not gonna lie. 368 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:45,800 Speaker 1: I thought that it was effects already. But I'm not 369 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:47,600 Speaker 1: a lawyer. But I am a lobbyist, so I'm very 370 00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:51,560 Speaker 1: concerned about the goings on of government right so um 371 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,280 Speaker 1: I also, and I r H is a nonpartisan organization. 372 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,320 Speaker 1: If I had a bunch of pro Traice Republicans to 373 00:20:56,359 --> 00:21:00,800 Speaker 1: talk about I would, but I don't. So I watch 374 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:02,919 Speaker 1: your opinion on something, Daniel. I used to work with 375 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,920 Speaker 1: a woman that voted for Trump and we would always 376 00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:08,359 Speaker 1: sit naw you about it, and she said to me 377 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:11,400 Speaker 1: one day, you act like they can turn like turnover 378 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,960 Speaker 1: roversus weight like you need to relax, And I want 379 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,640 Speaker 1: to know your opinion on that because we're watching all 380 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:19,399 Speaker 1: of this go on within the last two years of 381 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:23,679 Speaker 1: having a ship bag. Yeah, run the office, and I 382 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:25,479 Speaker 1: am curious to know what you think as far as 383 00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:28,080 Speaker 1: rovers it goes in if that really could happen to 384 00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:33,399 Speaker 1: so yes, and no Supreme Court decisions are unlikely to 385 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:37,199 Speaker 1: just be flipped over. And what Roe says is that 386 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:39,639 Speaker 1: you have the right to access an abortion up to 387 00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:44,320 Speaker 1: twenty four weeks or later than that if the life 388 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,000 Speaker 1: or health of the woman is in danger or in 389 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:49,440 Speaker 1: cases of fetal inviability. That is the standard of Row 390 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,960 Speaker 1: and the subsequent cases that came after it. Right, So 391 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,159 Speaker 1: that's like our national umbrella. What we think is going 392 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:58,000 Speaker 1: to happen is that states have been passing laws, and 393 00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,320 Speaker 1: I don't think it's going to be any of these 394 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:00,800 Speaker 1: more recent law So I think it's gonna be ones 395 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:03,720 Speaker 1: that have already been passed um that have been working 396 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,240 Speaker 1: their way through the court system and getting to circuit 397 00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:08,760 Speaker 1: courts in an effort to get to the Supreme Court. 398 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:10,479 Speaker 1: And what I think we're going to see, and this 399 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:15,280 Speaker 1: is just sort of guessing but like educated guessing is 400 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:20,160 Speaker 1: a chipping away at access. So abortion will still technically 401 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,600 Speaker 1: be legal, but the states will be allowed to put 402 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:24,840 Speaker 1: in put in place so many barriers you won't be 403 00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:27,880 Speaker 1: able to access it. As far as the cause, as 404 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:33,160 Speaker 1: far as far as clinics open, clinics being open if 405 00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:38,879 Speaker 1: the patient specifically is is um uh could be made 406 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:46,159 Speaker 1: available to have care um insurance issues documentation status, right, like, 407 00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:48,560 Speaker 1: just start putting rules in place that I have. This 408 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,439 Speaker 1: is not new. These are things that in many of 409 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:52,600 Speaker 1: these states have been going on for years and years 410 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:55,400 Speaker 1: and years are before been setting the stage for forgetting 411 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:57,760 Speaker 1: the Supreme Court that we have now. And even I 412 00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:01,040 Speaker 1: mean as far as even just funding for like the organizations. 413 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,040 Speaker 1: I think we all know of Planned Parenthood, but even 414 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,359 Speaker 1: when Trump came into office, that was one of the 415 00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:07,080 Speaker 1: number one thing like that was one of the first 416 00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:10,240 Speaker 1: things he did was cut funding for that organization amongst 417 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:14,480 Speaker 1: other organizations. Correct sort of. Uh, there's already a prohibition 418 00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:17,400 Speaker 1: on federal funding for abortion care. It's called the Hide. 419 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,800 Speaker 1: You guys brought up the Hide monument on your last show. Um. 420 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,760 Speaker 1: It's named after guy named Henry Hyde who said I 421 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,200 Speaker 1: can't make it impossible for everyone to get an abortion, 422 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,359 Speaker 1: so I'll just make it impossible for poor women, like 423 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:33,800 Speaker 1: said it out loud, said the inside part outside. And UM, 424 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:37,080 Speaker 1: what that means is that Medicaid in most states can't 425 00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:40,239 Speaker 1: cover abortion. In some states, like in New York, we 426 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:44,120 Speaker 1: put state dollars in to fund abortion for Medicaid patients. 427 00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:48,200 Speaker 1: But more people in New York can abortion care. So 428 00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:51,520 Speaker 1: he didn't actually cut abortion funding. What he cut, or 429 00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:56,360 Speaker 1: what he's trying to mess with, is funding for family planning, 430 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,439 Speaker 1: for contraceptive care, for sex said for all of the 431 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:02,439 Speaker 1: things around in it and saying I'm cutting money to 432 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:06,800 Speaker 1: those terrible abortion organizations because he can't actually there's no 433 00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:10,560 Speaker 1: money for him to cut. He did implement. UM. There's 434 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,760 Speaker 1: a thing called the global gag rule which goes back 435 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:16,080 Speaker 1: and forth with the parties UM, which says, when Republicans 436 00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:20,000 Speaker 1: are in charge, they say that international organizations can't get 437 00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:22,520 Speaker 1: US aid dollars if they're going to talk about abortion, 438 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:29,000 Speaker 1: so like in foreign countries, huge geopolitical issue. UM, and 439 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,080 Speaker 1: he's trying to implement basically a domestic gag rule that 440 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:35,360 Speaker 1: says that organizations in the US, if they're going to 441 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:39,919 Speaker 1: provide a refer for abortions. Also, that's kind of an 442 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:43,400 Speaker 1: ongoing fight right now. That's a lawsuit that's working its 443 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:45,919 Speaker 1: way up. So the answer to the Supreme Court question 444 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,719 Speaker 1: is like, it's not gonna it's I don't think it's 445 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:51,960 Speaker 1: gonna get overturned, but I do think that it's going 446 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,240 Speaker 1: to get chipped away out enough that the states will 447 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:57,439 Speaker 1: be able to block people from actually having meaningful access 448 00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:00,679 Speaker 1: to care. So we have this like over arching umbrella 449 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:06,280 Speaker 1: like the rights that Row gives us. And then there's 450 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:09,359 Speaker 1: a bunch of states that had bands before Roe v. Wade, 451 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,359 Speaker 1: which passed in nineteen seventy three. So prior to nineteen 452 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:14,920 Speaker 1: seventy three, they passed bands on abortion, which were then 453 00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:19,240 Speaker 1: deemed unconstitutional by Row. So if Row were to be overturned, 454 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:22,960 Speaker 1: they would it would still be banned in those states, 455 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,440 Speaker 1: like automatically. There's a bunch of states that post Roe v. 456 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:28,520 Speaker 1: Wade passed what we call trigger bands, which is if 457 00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:32,240 Speaker 1: Roe v. Wade gets overturned, then it becomes illegal in 458 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:34,640 Speaker 1: the states. So there's like six of them, so they're 459 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:37,840 Speaker 1: already liked they were just prepared like the late seventies, 460 00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:42,919 Speaker 1: this has been done since then. There are states that 461 00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:47,160 Speaker 1: have essentially total bands, but none of them are in effect. 462 00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:48,600 Speaker 1: And these are the ones that we're hearing about in 463 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:55,320 Speaker 1: the news, right, Ohio, Mississippi, Georgia, Alabama, Louisiana, Missouri, Iowa, Kentucky, 464 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:59,960 Speaker 1: North Dakota. Places that you might expect, and then they're 465 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:01,760 Speaker 1: a bunch of places. And this is always really important 466 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:04,640 Speaker 1: for me to talk about that are actually passing proactive 467 00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:08,120 Speaker 1: expansions of abortion rights. And that's something that we did 468 00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:12,960 Speaker 1: in New York this year. Um, New York, Massachusetts, Washington, Delaware, 469 00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:19,800 Speaker 1: Illinois just did it like last week. Um now in Ohio, Nevada. Correct, 470 00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:24,720 Speaker 1: isn't Ohio like completely that's a six week right, I 471 00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:28,280 Speaker 1: was a six week band, but as the Alabama again 472 00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:30,919 Speaker 1: not in effect. That I actually before we had this 473 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,199 Speaker 1: episode a few days ago, because I knew it was 474 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:35,920 Speaker 1: coming up, called plant Parenthood, asked for medical records and 475 00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,159 Speaker 1: I wanted to see how many weeks I was when 476 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:41,119 Speaker 1: I got my abortion. And just so you guys know, 477 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,000 Speaker 1: I got an abortion the week after I found out 478 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:49,320 Speaker 1: I was pregnant, and that was eight weeks, which is 479 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:52,480 Speaker 1: which is crazy because so when I got mine, I 480 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:56,080 Speaker 1: actually argued with them dates told me I was six weeks. 481 00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:59,199 Speaker 1: I knew to the day. I knew when it happened 482 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,080 Speaker 1: who it was with, becuse I didn't even have I 483 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:03,480 Speaker 1: knew what it was and I was exactly four and 484 00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:05,960 Speaker 1: a half weeks. They told me six. It's because of 485 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,879 Speaker 1: the way they date pregnancy, which is so so that 486 00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:11,400 Speaker 1: also affects so I could have gone in there even 487 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,840 Speaker 1: though they're I'm telling them the exact date this happened. 488 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:17,200 Speaker 1: Who it was with. I knew fourth of July weekend. Yeah, anyway, 489 00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:20,080 Speaker 1: I was literally four and a half weeks. This is 490 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:21,800 Speaker 1: when we went to Tampa, bich But anyways, I was 491 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:24,080 Speaker 1: four and a half weeks. I found out the next 492 00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:25,960 Speaker 1: I knew my body something wasn't right. I ended up 493 00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:28,520 Speaker 1: taking a goddamn pregnancy test in a Kroker bathroom because 494 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:31,920 Speaker 1: I was ship face scared. I was going into so. 495 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:34,560 Speaker 1: I was actually in Georgia, but we had like we 496 00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:36,280 Speaker 1: we ended up going to Tampa that weekend. I went 497 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,880 Speaker 1: back home and my body just wasn't right. I knew 498 00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:41,280 Speaker 1: I was four and a half weeks, and on you know, 499 00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,880 Speaker 1: when I have my bours, Nay, we'll give you a picture. Um, 500 00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:46,800 Speaker 1: So I got the picture of my my stomach and 501 00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:48,679 Speaker 1: my mom asked me over and over do you want 502 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:49,760 Speaker 1: to see it? Do you want it? It It was nothing 503 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:51,720 Speaker 1: but a dot. It was literally a dot, and I, 504 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,720 Speaker 1: you know, I didn't feel connected at all. We'll get 505 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,120 Speaker 1: into my story a little bit later, but um, yeah, 506 00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:58,440 Speaker 1: I was four and a half weeks and they told 507 00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:00,119 Speaker 1: me I was sick. So for you to know your 508 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:02,639 Speaker 1: time and what was that your exact date, well, I 509 00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:04,840 Speaker 1: called them and asked and so like that was on 510 00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:08,000 Speaker 1: my records. But um, I mean yeah, I do remember 511 00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:09,880 Speaker 1: letting a week go by because I was stressed out 512 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:12,639 Speaker 1: with works. I was like, okay, so maybe my period 513 00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:15,680 Speaker 1: will kind of right. It didn't. Um, but that's the thing. 514 00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,440 Speaker 1: It's like crazy. And I actually took a pregnancy test 515 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,840 Speaker 1: the night of our Toronto show because the app was 516 00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:26,080 Speaker 1: freaking me out. My app was updating me like you're 517 00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:28,920 Speaker 1: one day late, and I was like, fuck, someone follow 518 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:32,960 Speaker 1: my girlfriend. She's like, bitch, you definitely pregnant. I was like, no, 519 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:36,360 Speaker 1: but I feel like cramp. She was like I did too, 520 00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,400 Speaker 1: So I go to take care of it while you're 521 00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:43,720 Speaker 1: in right right, I'm feeling out, dude. I walked to 522 00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:45,720 Speaker 1: the I don't know what the grocery store, I mean, 523 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,800 Speaker 1: like whatever they have there. But anyway, I couldn't even 524 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:50,560 Speaker 1: like hold on, like I don't know why we all 525 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:54,600 Speaker 1: do it in like supermarketing, like pharmacy bathrooms can't well, 526 00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:56,720 Speaker 1: I was an age. I was like, I am not 527 00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,680 Speaker 1: doing this in my home, and I was ship base 528 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:01,160 Speaker 1: scared to even bring it back to me. All I 529 00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:03,800 Speaker 1: know is like when I actually told my mom that 530 00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:06,400 Speaker 1: I was pregnant and she listened to the show so 531 00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:09,320 Speaker 1: shout out to you, mom um. I literally had it 532 00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:10,920 Speaker 1: in my hand and I took two because the first one, 533 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:12,640 Speaker 1: I was like, man, maybe the first one broke, So 534 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:16,520 Speaker 1: I took the second. No, ship so I took the 535 00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:20,080 Speaker 1: second one that she came. I just started bawling tears, 536 00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:23,120 Speaker 1: and so I walked home. I couldn't even tell my mom. 537 00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,880 Speaker 1: So I walked into her room and at this point, 538 00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:28,800 Speaker 1: I'm just literally bawling crying, and she's like, what's wrong, 539 00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:31,280 Speaker 1: what's wrong? Tell me? And she just started shaking her head. 540 00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,440 Speaker 1: I think she knew and all I did was show her. 541 00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:36,160 Speaker 1: I handed her the things, and then that became like 542 00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:39,040 Speaker 1: a whole conversation because my mom, I won't say the number, 543 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:42,040 Speaker 1: but I was her first child after her having multiple abortions, 544 00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:46,720 Speaker 1: so it was to a point where she loved having me. 545 00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:50,080 Speaker 1: My my last sister was almost aborted, and that's a 546 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:54,840 Speaker 1: conversation we've had, and so like her immediate response was Okay, 547 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,800 Speaker 1: what do you want to do? And she gave me 548 00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:59,120 Speaker 1: that option, but she like when ahead and shared how 549 00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:03,400 Speaker 1: much she kind of regretted the one before the abortion 550 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:06,680 Speaker 1: before me and seeing how her daughters came out after 551 00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:09,680 Speaker 1: like the ones that she didn't have, and so it 552 00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:12,560 Speaker 1: affected her mentally after and so she just wanted to 553 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:17,360 Speaker 1: make sure I was okay with it. Shout out she did, 554 00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:20,640 Speaker 1: and she even all the way up until me going 555 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:23,440 Speaker 1: to the clinic, it was just like, are you sure 556 00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,880 Speaker 1: this was And she literally had the conversation with me 557 00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:28,840 Speaker 1: about her regrets of her abortions, just you know, because 558 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:31,920 Speaker 1: she just didn't want me to feel what she felt. Hey, guys, 559 00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:35,960 Speaker 1: support for today's episode comes from sent Bird. With sent Bird, 560 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:37,680 Speaker 1: I have found a way to mix up my fragrance 561 00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:39,440 Speaker 1: routine when I break in the bank, because y'all know 562 00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:42,160 Speaker 1: a bit be looking for a discount and as y'all know, 563 00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:44,520 Speaker 1: it is summertime all over the god damn country. 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Was there any type of conversation that 619 00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:40,320 Speaker 1: you and your mom had, because I know you being 620 00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:43,040 Speaker 1: your mom's only with so my mom had me at forty, 621 00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:44,800 Speaker 1: she did know she would have kids. I think and 622 00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:47,560 Speaker 1: my aunt rest in peace of aunt. But she had 623 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:51,360 Speaker 1: like five miscarriages or something, so like childbirth is like 624 00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:55,520 Speaker 1: really hard, um, which not like it's funny, but I'm 625 00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:59,320 Speaker 1: just saying. So when I was like pregnant, I was like, yo, 626 00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:01,120 Speaker 1: I was like, the way should be going with my 627 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,320 Speaker 1: family And I don't even know if this thing Like, 628 00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:09,640 Speaker 1: I mean, bro, my grandma said it. My aunt had 629 00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:12,879 Speaker 1: five miscarriages, my mom had three. I was like, yo, 630 00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:16,520 Speaker 1: I mean maybe like lots of lots of pregnancies and 631 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:25,960 Speaker 1: in miscarriage outside that's not even right. So um, but 632 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:30,440 Speaker 1: so yeah, anyway, when I ended up having my abortion, 633 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:34,040 Speaker 1: my mom was super supportive, Like I was in my opinion, 634 00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:36,600 Speaker 1: like I don't care. I'm twenty eight years old right now. 635 00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:38,879 Speaker 1: If I got pregnant today, I'm not ready. I still 636 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:41,640 Speaker 1: feel like a kid. You know, I might be financially stable, 637 00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:44,359 Speaker 1: but I'm not mentally stable for a kid. My mom 638 00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:46,960 Speaker 1: was talking about how you know, she's like, I just 639 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,640 Speaker 1: accepted my life without a kid as much as I 640 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:51,160 Speaker 1: wanted you. She was talked about that postpartum, about how 641 00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:53,960 Speaker 1: bad it was and how regretful she was feeling. You know, 642 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,320 Speaker 1: I mean that's a real thing. I couldn't imagine thinking 643 00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:59,240 Speaker 1: I was going to have an abortion abortion felt shamed 644 00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:01,600 Speaker 1: enough for guilty enough to keep it and then end 645 00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:03,280 Speaker 1: up with this kid the whole time. I know people 646 00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:06,080 Speaker 1: in my life right now that probably shouldn't have had kids. 647 00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:10,520 Speaker 1: And it's also okay to just not want children, Like 648 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:13,759 Speaker 1: it's okay to just not want what motherhood sucks. Yeah, 649 00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:17,239 Speaker 1: I think there's nothing wrong with having an abortion and 650 00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:21,440 Speaker 1: also want to add the shaming around abortion, like I 651 00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:25,279 Speaker 1: felt it too, and like even from friends like making 652 00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:27,720 Speaker 1: jokes about it, like it's funny and we laugh and whatever, 653 00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:31,520 Speaker 1: but like is it though in the moment they're like damn, 654 00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:33,520 Speaker 1: and like you laugh, but you laugh, I think to 655 00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:36,560 Speaker 1: cover up how you might really feel, you know, I 656 00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:38,360 Speaker 1: mean we all got to feel a little sup you 657 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:42,160 Speaker 1: asked earlier about like besides religion, which I don't think 658 00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:44,680 Speaker 1: is besides. I think it's a really big piece of 659 00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:47,719 Speaker 1: big like what are the other sort of like forces 660 00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:51,080 Speaker 1: around the stigma of abortion. And I think there's a 661 00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:55,040 Speaker 1: couple of things. One um, religion is a huge piece 662 00:35:55,040 --> 00:36:00,600 Speaker 1: of it. Family absolutely, but also all of it comes 663 00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:07,080 Speaker 1: back to a need culturally to control women. It also 664 00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:09,879 Speaker 1: obviously impacts other people who can get pregnant. But this 665 00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,480 Speaker 1: cultural need is to control women, and the best way 666 00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:16,080 Speaker 1: to control women is to keep them out of control 667 00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:19,839 Speaker 1: of their fertility. If you can't control that when you're 668 00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:24,240 Speaker 1: having a child, or how many children you're having, or 669 00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:26,880 Speaker 1: if you're having children, you can't be in control of 670 00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:29,760 Speaker 1: your economic life. You can't be in control of your career, 671 00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:34,360 Speaker 1: your happiness. Can you control of your happiness? You uh, 672 00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:40,480 Speaker 1: get removed from society at ways. Talk about Sorry, I 673 00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:45,960 Speaker 1: just loved my dream of dreams, not the shame. I'll 674 00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:51,200 Speaker 1: come back to it. There's there's a Ruth Bader Ginsberg 675 00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:57,479 Speaker 1: quote that I'm going to rutalize, apologize, but about um, 676 00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:02,400 Speaker 1: the ability to control ones one's reproduction is like intrinsic 677 00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:07,400 Speaker 1: to women being a full member of society. Oh that's 678 00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:10,880 Speaker 1: the gist of it again, or I've got it. A 679 00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:13,919 Speaker 1: lot of people have said the heartbeat bill and oh 680 00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:16,800 Speaker 1: well later abortions. Uh, it's not good because maybe you 681 00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:19,640 Speaker 1: could feel it. Maybe we could do this. Can we 682 00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:21,680 Speaker 1: talk about maybe, I mean as far as you can 683 00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:26,400 Speaker 1: speak to but like how true all that is? Yeah? 684 00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:30,160 Speaker 1: You know, like because they pretty much which mine is 685 00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:33,680 Speaker 1: not so bad because if it's only six weeks, mine 686 00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:36,520 Speaker 1: looks like it didn't have a heartbeat at the point 687 00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:40,920 Speaker 1: twenty seven days or something as heartbeat said that in 688 00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:44,719 Speaker 1: the other and then you guys shared your stories initially, 689 00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:47,440 Speaker 1: So what is the what date is a heartbeat thing? 690 00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:50,880 Speaker 1: I'm not a doctor, so I'm I like, don't know specifics, 691 00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:53,319 Speaker 1: but from what I've read, like that's more of like 692 00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:57,560 Speaker 1: a pulsation from like, it's not a heartbeat. Oh, it's 693 00:37:57,560 --> 00:37:59,880 Speaker 1: not a heartbeat. Again, this is a symptom of missing 694 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,919 Speaker 1: amation that people do to pull it heartstrings at people 695 00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:05,759 Speaker 1: who are already inclined, whether it's their family pressure or 696 00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:11,200 Speaker 1: huge to be like that's crazy. I am almost I'm 697 00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:15,759 Speaker 1: going to send you the pulsations not a heartbeat paraphrase 698 00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:23,040 Speaker 1: point where Fauslop developing the mechanism that is a heart 699 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:27,040 Speaker 1: These heartbeat bills are not about that point. They are 700 00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:30,640 Speaker 1: about a moment in which, during ultrasound you can hear 701 00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:35,839 Speaker 1: what sounds like a pulse um but really full well, 702 00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:39,880 Speaker 1: it's it's happening. It's something happening. It could be ship 703 00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:43,160 Speaker 1: moving because now it's getting ready. It's just the thing 704 00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:50,080 Speaker 1: that and and I am an unapologetic pro abortion person. 705 00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:52,239 Speaker 1: People are always like, nobody is like pro abortion, Like 706 00:38:52,360 --> 00:39:04,960 Speaker 1: I am absolutely am. I was right. Didn't get her fired? Well, 707 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,440 Speaker 1: the men don't want her to like anything. I don't 708 00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:10,080 Speaker 1: want to work with her, but I'll take that one point. 709 00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:14,800 Speaker 1: I come from a perspective that abortion is not a tragedy. 710 00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:18,640 Speaker 1: It's not a difficult, tragic, horrible decision. Abortion is a 711 00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:21,640 Speaker 1: social good. Abortion is a medical procedure that allows women 712 00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:25,839 Speaker 1: to engage in society fully. That is, people legislators love 713 00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:28,200 Speaker 1: to ask, like, well, how do we reduce the abortion rate? 714 00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:32,040 Speaker 1: I don't care about reducing dis abortion rate. I care 715 00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:35,759 Speaker 1: about being there being exactly as many abortions as people need. 716 00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:39,160 Speaker 1: That is, if someone is listening to us right now 717 00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:43,160 Speaker 1: and truly believes, but you're murdering, You're killing a human being, 718 00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:45,960 Speaker 1: You're killing a person, which is what this This where 719 00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:47,799 Speaker 1: the criminal aspect of it comes from. You like, you're 720 00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:50,399 Speaker 1: killing a human life. For the listeners that are listening 721 00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:53,680 Speaker 1: and truly believe that it, Like, I guess what would 722 00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:57,279 Speaker 1: you say to that? Or I think you can believe it, fine, 723 00:39:57,360 --> 00:40:01,799 Speaker 1: knock yourself out. You can also believe anything else that 724 00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,759 Speaker 1: you want I don't care what you believe. I cared 725 00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:10,040 Speaker 1: deeply about what people legislate. Now, there's still harm in 726 00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:12,759 Speaker 1: your believing that, because that's where we enter all of 727 00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:17,360 Speaker 1: this cultural stigma. But it's when people start legislating based 728 00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:23,960 Speaker 1: on these medically inaccurate, religiously based, oppressive, all over google 729 00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:30,920 Speaker 1: which is all over everything contry. Yeah. Um, that's where 730 00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:35,840 Speaker 1: we have a problem. Okay. You know there are legislators 731 00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:40,200 Speaker 1: out there who are saying, I'm voting for this pro 732 00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:45,120 Speaker 1: abortion bill because of my religious beliefs. It's something that 733 00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:48,239 Speaker 1: Governor Cuomo is said. I am a Catholic, but I 734 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:50,560 Speaker 1: am I am a legislator who is running the state 735 00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:55,040 Speaker 1: of New York and this is important and good. So like, 736 00:40:55,200 --> 00:41:00,360 Speaker 1: it's not Evangelicals and Catholics don't have a monopoly on 737 00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:03,680 Speaker 1: religious belief about abortion, but they would like you to 738 00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:05,880 Speaker 1: believe that they do right. And it still should be 739 00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:13,719 Speaker 1: a separation between Welsh state. Maybe I was just no, 740 00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:16,000 Speaker 1: I was just about to say that. Um, you know 741 00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:20,680 Speaker 1: you asked the question about if someone who's listening, if 742 00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:23,640 Speaker 1: they feel like they're you know, hurting a fetus or 743 00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:26,880 Speaker 1: killing or you know, taking a life. Um, I read 744 00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:29,560 Speaker 1: this recently from on the Daily Beast, there was a 745 00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:32,160 Speaker 1: piece according to the founding fathers, a fetus is not 746 00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:37,160 Speaker 1: an American person. The United States Constitution clearly indicates that 747 00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:41,960 Speaker 1: human life begins at birth, not at conception. So like 748 00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:45,200 Speaker 1: on a legal level of New York definds a person 749 00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:49,160 Speaker 1: as someone who is born in life. So I mean 750 00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:51,640 Speaker 1: that could be one Maybe that might make sense to 751 00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:54,279 Speaker 1: someone who's listening. I understand there's a lot of like 752 00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:59,279 Speaker 1: moral back and forth on this, of course, but um, yeah, 753 00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:03,840 Speaker 1: when once you're in the world, yours are there like 754 00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:06,719 Speaker 1: resources or groups or like women that have felt like 755 00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:10,160 Speaker 1: too much shame or like or any like so many, 756 00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:12,960 Speaker 1: so many, there's so there's lots of folks who are 757 00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:16,840 Speaker 1: doing like anti stigma work around abortion. Um, there's a 758 00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:21,000 Speaker 1: group called Shout Your Abortion that publishes I've been seeing 759 00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:24,800 Speaker 1: the stories online about that publishes people's abortion stories that 760 00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:26,320 Speaker 1: they submit to them. They wrote a whole book. I 761 00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:28,680 Speaker 1: think Lindy West hadn't had an excerpt in there. And 762 00:42:28,719 --> 00:42:30,759 Speaker 1: our home mail for this episode, guys will actually be 763 00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:33,520 Speaker 1: and we want to think um our listeners. So when 764 00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:36,200 Speaker 1: weezy you know, ask people to share their stories. We 765 00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:38,600 Speaker 1: did get some emails as well, so we'll be sharing 766 00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:41,520 Speaker 1: an abortion experience from one of our listeners. Just even 767 00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:43,479 Speaker 1: the fact that you guys have shared yours, the fact 768 00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:45,640 Speaker 1: that this is like a kind of a movement that's 769 00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:49,360 Speaker 1: brewing and more people are like adding to that. The 770 00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,960 Speaker 1: more we talk about this stuff and people share their 771 00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:56,280 Speaker 1: experiences and like, just you know, especially men in our lives, 772 00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:59,640 Speaker 1: and get them more in involved in having the conversation 773 00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:02,000 Speaker 1: and what are it affects like women they know where 774 00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:04,680 Speaker 1: their partners or whomever, Like this is something we need 775 00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:08,480 Speaker 1: to keep talking and even because in our mainstream too lately. 776 00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:10,120 Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys watched the game, there 777 00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:13,120 Speaker 1: was an episode UM where I believe it was Tea 778 00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:15,320 Speaker 1: or Tamara, I don't know which one is on there, 779 00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:18,840 Speaker 1: but um, one of the twins Um went to the 780 00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:22,680 Speaker 1: doctor with her partner at the time, and she had 781 00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:25,160 Speaker 1: never let him know that she had an abortion previously. 782 00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:28,680 Speaker 1: And so even having that conversation with your partner, I 783 00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:30,759 Speaker 1: think a lot of women do feel the shame of 784 00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:33,399 Speaker 1: even bringing up, Hey, I've done this before and he's 785 00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:35,160 Speaker 1: sex in the city. I don't know if you guys, 786 00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:38,400 Speaker 1: Carrie lied, she's because He's like, have you ever had one? 787 00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:41,839 Speaker 1: She's like, oh god, now, oh god no, and like 788 00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:43,520 Speaker 1: she's like, why the fund did I do that? Why? 789 00:43:43,719 --> 00:43:47,359 Speaker 1: And the most sex positive show of the nineties, Like 790 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:54,120 Speaker 1: why even in that, why did we do that? We 791 00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:55,920 Speaker 1: set at this table, like I can't believe we're doing this. 792 00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:58,479 Speaker 1: I can't believe literally we we We did the whole 793 00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:00,719 Speaker 1: preface and me and her were just like, oh my god. 794 00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:02,160 Speaker 1: I didn't think I would ever show you know what 795 00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:07,560 Speaker 1: I didn't. It's not so acknowledge that we're sex positive, 796 00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:12,400 Speaker 1: but there's a lot of truth behind hor phobia and 797 00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:15,640 Speaker 1: abortion shame and feeling like what are they going to 798 00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:18,360 Speaker 1: think of me? And even as people like this, you 799 00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:21,719 Speaker 1: watched Carrie right who, second to Samantha, was the most 800 00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:24,200 Speaker 1: sex positive person, but we still feel that that really 801 00:44:24,239 --> 00:44:27,600 Speaker 1: tells you how our upbringing has shaped us to feel 802 00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:31,080 Speaker 1: shame about it. Agree on I was talking to um 803 00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:34,480 Speaker 1: Lacy actually and a part of kind of my abortion 804 00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:36,000 Speaker 1: that I didn't share, and I was talking to her 805 00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:37,960 Speaker 1: about UM and I guess we can talk to it 806 00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:40,040 Speaker 1: as well. It's kind of like the PTSD or the 807 00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:44,040 Speaker 1: aftermath of what people are feeling after they have abortions. 808 00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:46,080 Speaker 1: And so I was talking to a friend of mine, 809 00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:49,279 Speaker 1: UM shout out to Cecilia. We were having a conversation 810 00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:52,800 Speaker 1: and we talked about oh my God, like the casual sex, 811 00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:55,040 Speaker 1: me wanting a boyfriend, me doing all of these things. 812 00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:58,760 Speaker 1: And during our conversation, I burst into tears UM because 813 00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:00,879 Speaker 1: I realized, and I'm on the podcast a lot talking 814 00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:04,600 Speaker 1: about I love condom dick. I like fucking guys with condoms. 815 00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:06,560 Speaker 1: I only you know, I don't like raw dick. There's 816 00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:09,560 Speaker 1: like I'm scared of ship to have raw sex. And 817 00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:12,799 Speaker 1: not only, of course, I'm concerned about catching something, but 818 00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:16,200 Speaker 1: having a baby is like, to me right now outside 819 00:45:16,239 --> 00:45:18,439 Speaker 1: of a disease, of course, is kind of the worst 820 00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:22,160 Speaker 1: thing that could happen because to me, I genuinely feel 821 00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:26,879 Speaker 1: like I don't want to go through the abortion UM 822 00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:31,440 Speaker 1: experience again. And talking to her, I realized why UM 823 00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:34,480 Speaker 1: when I had my abortion UM, and I just I 824 00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:37,560 Speaker 1: think this is more so of a personality trait. I 825 00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:40,160 Speaker 1: like to prove people wrong. I hate to feel like 826 00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:42,799 Speaker 1: I disappoint people. And with that decision, I felt like 827 00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:45,000 Speaker 1: I let three people down. I let my mom down. 828 00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:47,799 Speaker 1: She was in tears, crying and we Also at that 829 00:45:47,840 --> 00:45:50,319 Speaker 1: point I lied to my mom. I went a year 830 00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:52,440 Speaker 1: with my period and didn't even tell her. So in 831 00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:55,040 Speaker 1: terms of my body and me growing up, I never 832 00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:57,040 Speaker 1: felt like I had anyone to really talk sex or 833 00:45:57,080 --> 00:45:59,799 Speaker 1: anything about my body with growing up UM, so at 834 00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:01,719 Speaker 1: that when I let her down, I felt like I 835 00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:04,719 Speaker 1: let my homegirl down. Shout out to Kita Um. She 836 00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:06,920 Speaker 1: was the one My mom could not afford my full abortion, 837 00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:10,000 Speaker 1: even though we had healthcare. She didn't have the money too. 838 00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:11,440 Speaker 1: We wouldn't have been able to pay our bills that 839 00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:13,760 Speaker 1: month if she so. I literally reached out to my homegirl, 840 00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:16,279 Speaker 1: who worked at an ice cream shop, and she sent 841 00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:17,919 Speaker 1: the money up for me to be able to pay 842 00:46:17,960 --> 00:46:20,319 Speaker 1: for my abortion. The third person I felt like I 843 00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:23,799 Speaker 1: let down but also kind of affected me was the 844 00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:26,160 Speaker 1: person who got me pregnant. When I told him I 845 00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:29,719 Speaker 1: was going to do it, he was I rate and said, 846 00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:32,319 Speaker 1: you're killing my son. He had a daughter already. He 847 00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:35,560 Speaker 1: was just certain that I had his son, and so 848 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,080 Speaker 1: he didn't want me to get it. He didn't help 849 00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:40,719 Speaker 1: send money for UM when I was pregnant, and then, 850 00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:42,520 Speaker 1: of course, in the process of the two weeks to 851 00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:44,600 Speaker 1: me to set the clinic appointment and all of that things. 852 00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:47,560 Speaker 1: He actually ended up getting locked up, so go figure. 853 00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:50,960 Speaker 1: But he made it hell because he felt like I 854 00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:53,720 Speaker 1: was killing his son, So he guilt shamed me into 855 00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:56,800 Speaker 1: me believing like I'm killing his son that he wants. 856 00:46:57,080 --> 00:47:00,239 Speaker 1: So having that experience of letting three people down with 857 00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:03,360 Speaker 1: this one decision, I just know I probably I just 858 00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:06,279 Speaker 1: don't want to ever experience that again. And so I 859 00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:08,680 Speaker 1: feel like that's even why I'm so like pro condom. 860 00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:13,040 Speaker 1: I you know, because I feared it again. Listen, I know, 861 00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:17,759 Speaker 1: I mean A sure things happen. Also, it's probably a 862 00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:21,680 Speaker 1: lot easier to enjoy sex if you're not worried about, right, 863 00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:26,799 Speaker 1: If that's what you're comfort like, you've learned what works 864 00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:30,040 Speaker 1: for you, which is important. Yes, it's a I mean, 865 00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:36,880 Speaker 1: I don't I'm sad that you've had all those feelings. Right. 866 00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:42,880 Speaker 1: Those are hard feelings. Those are not necessarily abortion feelings. 867 00:47:43,719 --> 00:47:49,640 Speaker 1: Those are relationship feelings for sure. They're triggered by your 868 00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:55,840 Speaker 1: mom's feelings about her choices. They're triggered by your partner 869 00:47:56,000 --> 00:48:00,000 Speaker 1: at the time not frankly respecting your bodily out toime 870 00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:04,000 Speaker 1: me enough to support you in that decision. They're triggered 871 00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:05,879 Speaker 1: by the feeling of having to rely on other people 872 00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:08,600 Speaker 1: like your friend, which also was an amazing friend. She 873 00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:13,840 Speaker 1: shouldn't like, we're all gonna like candles for her instead 874 00:48:13,880 --> 00:48:18,120 Speaker 1: of feeling but like, instead of feeling badly towards her, 875 00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:21,719 Speaker 1: or that you disappointed her, how about finding gratitude that 876 00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:23,759 Speaker 1: she helped you in that moment. Of course, you know 877 00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:26,840 Speaker 1: what I mean, and I know that that's oversimplification, but 878 00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:31,560 Speaker 1: but also all of those things, all of those feelings 879 00:48:31,680 --> 00:48:35,840 Speaker 1: happened because barriers have put up been put up against 880 00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:40,400 Speaker 1: you accessing cameras, because that guy had been told that 881 00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:44,160 Speaker 1: his feelings mattered more than yours, because your mom had 882 00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:48,120 Speaker 1: been told she did something wrong right, all of those 883 00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:55,000 Speaker 1: things are the compounding effect of God, damn, you know. 884 00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:57,400 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm just saying, look, I don't I don't know, 885 00:48:57,960 --> 00:49:02,000 Speaker 1: You're not. Are you gonna feels like your tonsils didn't 886 00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:05,239 Speaker 1: get a chance to live? You know, I had a 887 00:49:05,560 --> 00:49:11,239 Speaker 1: different experience because I think I was so sure that 888 00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:14,040 Speaker 1: this is what I had to do, like how a 889 00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:17,680 Speaker 1: relationship that person was my boyfriend. It was like I 890 00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:23,480 Speaker 1: was positive and honestly, even now, like people ask me 891 00:49:23,560 --> 00:49:26,600 Speaker 1: like how like I don't even attach those feelings, and 892 00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:29,080 Speaker 1: then when I watched certain movies or talk to certain people, 893 00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:31,279 Speaker 1: they'll know the ages that they would have been down 894 00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:35,839 Speaker 1: to the day. I don't regret it, I will say, 895 00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:39,480 Speaker 1: it's not a regret where where I saw even me 896 00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:41,399 Speaker 1: in her life like us just trying to figure out 897 00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:47,560 Speaker 1: life on our own. At all of my friends who 898 00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:51,040 Speaker 1: have children or just one child to have to take 899 00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:53,479 Speaker 1: care of themselves and a whole note, I was so dumb, 900 00:49:54,080 --> 00:49:56,799 Speaker 1: honestly for real, Like I think I just got over 901 00:49:56,880 --> 00:50:01,360 Speaker 1: the dumb hump at like act even I don't know 902 00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:08,320 Speaker 1: how to call you. I don't you know, people figure 903 00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:11,760 Speaker 1: it out right, but you have the opportunity to decide 904 00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:14,600 Speaker 1: if you want to figure it out right. So I 905 00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:16,400 Speaker 1: want to think, can I say one more thing on that, 906 00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:19,320 Speaker 1: just to echo again what she said, but also like 907 00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:22,240 Speaker 1: as you were talking and saying that, seeing your facial 908 00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:25,440 Speaker 1: expression change and like thinking about that time. It's just 909 00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:28,719 Speaker 1: interesting too for I think as people are going through 910 00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:33,600 Speaker 1: these situations to try and make like to differentiate what 911 00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:37,840 Speaker 1: their feelings are on the process versus the outside input 912 00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:41,120 Speaker 1: they're getting from people they care a lot about and 913 00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:43,440 Speaker 1: and the pressure that that kind of comes with that. 914 00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:46,120 Speaker 1: And I just I just as you were talking, I 915 00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:48,480 Speaker 1: want to say one more thing. There are a lot 916 00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:52,880 Speaker 1: of women and trans people who are in relationships like 917 00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:56,880 Speaker 1: that that gentleman friend of yours who pressure them to 918 00:50:57,040 --> 00:51:00,040 Speaker 1: stay in them by getting them pregnant. Like, there's a 919 00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:05,480 Speaker 1: lot of domestic violence. Uh, reproductive coortion is very very 920 00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:08,960 Speaker 1: really and you just you know, you barely touched on 921 00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:12,200 Speaker 1: like this. This guy who you were dating, like pressured 922 00:51:12,239 --> 00:51:19,239 Speaker 1: you into you know, want to keep there right mind you. 923 00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:22,000 Speaker 1: And again, like I said, he had sometimes not the 924 00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:25,640 Speaker 1: ones that listen. But yeah, I don't know what what 925 00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:27,600 Speaker 1: he planned. He was in the streets at the time. 926 00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:29,239 Speaker 1: That's probably also I don't deal with him type of 927 00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:32,799 Speaker 1: nigs nor um. But like, yeah, like what you're saying 928 00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:35,239 Speaker 1: is exactly what it was like. And while a lot 929 00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:38,600 Speaker 1: of men that we would think pressure woman to have 930 00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:40,480 Speaker 1: an abortion because they don't want it, I got the 931 00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:42,920 Speaker 1: opposite of him saying, oh my god, you're gonna kill 932 00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:45,840 Speaker 1: my baby. It's my it's my little boy. Yeah, in 933 00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:53,799 Speaker 1: his life forever. So I wanted to ask you, guys, um, 934 00:51:54,239 --> 00:51:57,320 Speaker 1: what are the steps so if someone wants to have 935 00:51:57,400 --> 00:52:01,279 Speaker 1: an abortion. What are the steps and which you would 936 00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:03,600 Speaker 1: do to get one? Because both of you are are 937 00:52:03,680 --> 00:52:05,840 Speaker 1: in the space like some some people don't even know 938 00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:08,680 Speaker 1: where to be game. It varies a little bit based 939 00:52:08,719 --> 00:52:12,880 Speaker 1: on where you live, which is unfortunate. So if you're 940 00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:17,120 Speaker 1: in a state like New York or Massachusetts or California, UM, 941 00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:23,600 Speaker 1: you can go to a your doctor, if you're a 942 00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:29,560 Speaker 1: public hospital, any medical provider, and in those states they 943 00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:32,080 Speaker 1: should be able to refer you to an abortion provider, 944 00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:34,320 Speaker 1: whether it's in the hospital. You can get an abortion 945 00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:38,839 Speaker 1: at bellevue like not all procedures, but like you don't 946 00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:41,200 Speaker 1: always have to go to a clinic. If you're in 947 00:52:41,280 --> 00:52:44,759 Speaker 1: a place where there is less access to care, you're 948 00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:46,200 Speaker 1: going to have to do a few things. You're going 949 00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:49,160 Speaker 1: to have to find a provider, and there's a bunch 950 00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:51,600 Speaker 1: of ways to do that. You can look for Planned 951 00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:55,719 Speaker 1: parenthoods if they don't provide abortion in your state, they'll 952 00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:59,120 Speaker 1: refer you to an abortion provider. You can look at 953 00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:03,320 Speaker 1: the National Abortion Federation, which represents all of the independent clinics. 954 00:53:03,360 --> 00:53:05,600 Speaker 1: They have a website. But if you're going to google, 955 00:53:05,760 --> 00:53:08,560 Speaker 1: like abortion Cleveland, one of the things you know, like 956 00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:12,680 Speaker 1: whatever where an abortion UM. One of the things you're 957 00:53:12,680 --> 00:53:14,080 Speaker 1: going to have to look out for is there are 958 00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:19,800 Speaker 1: these fake anti abortion clinics UM that present themselves like options. 959 00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:23,360 Speaker 1: You may remember on the subway. This dates me a 960 00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:26,080 Speaker 1: little bit, but there used to be signs where like pregnant, scared, 961 00:53:26,719 --> 00:53:28,759 Speaker 1: and like had a phone number. And what these are 962 00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:32,160 Speaker 1: are it's the same people who protest outside clinics UM. 963 00:53:32,680 --> 00:53:35,920 Speaker 1: Crisis pregnancy. Crisis pregnancy centers are fake clinics. And what 964 00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,520 Speaker 1: they do is they try to convince you, to convince 965 00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:40,919 Speaker 1: you'd either keep it or delay you until you legally 966 00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:43,800 Speaker 1: can't get an abortion in your state. And there's already 967 00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:46,520 Speaker 1: for in many states, so many tax tactics that delay you. 968 00:53:47,040 --> 00:53:49,000 Speaker 1: As it is that like you wander into one of 969 00:53:49,040 --> 00:53:52,320 Speaker 1: these clinics, you know, fake clinics, thinking that you're getting 970 00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:57,680 Speaker 1: help and like actual unbiased opinions, and they're strategically making 971 00:53:57,760 --> 00:54:00,680 Speaker 1: you How does someone tell the difference? But a clinic 972 00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:02,880 Speaker 1: that's going to do that and a clinic that can 973 00:54:02,920 --> 00:54:04,920 Speaker 1: actually help you. One of the things that you can 974 00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:08,359 Speaker 1: do is take a look at their website. If they 975 00:54:08,480 --> 00:54:12,320 Speaker 1: talk about post abortion syndrome, they're a non abortion clinic 976 00:54:12,400 --> 00:54:14,480 Speaker 1: that is a made up fake thing. If they tell 977 00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:17,480 Speaker 1: you your abortion abortion might give you breast cancer, they 978 00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:20,799 Speaker 1: are not a real clinic. That is fake and a lie. Um. 979 00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:25,840 Speaker 1: If they talk about pre abortion counseling but not actually 980 00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:29,640 Speaker 1: about abortion care, they are not a real clinic. Um. 981 00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:32,960 Speaker 1: But also you can always check against something like the 982 00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:35,920 Speaker 1: nav National Abortion Pederation website to see if this is 983 00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:38,680 Speaker 1: listed as one of their clinics. So say you've now 984 00:54:38,719 --> 00:54:40,640 Speaker 1: found an actual provider and you're like, ship, now I 985 00:54:40,719 --> 00:54:42,480 Speaker 1: have to pay for it. You might need to go 986 00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:46,600 Speaker 1: in seventy two hours in advance and have a first appointment. 987 00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:48,960 Speaker 1: Some states have waiting periods. You don't need to wait 988 00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:52,560 Speaker 1: to buy a gun, but you gotta wait to have medicine. So, um, 989 00:54:52,760 --> 00:54:56,560 Speaker 1: initial consultation, you drive like hundreds of miles. Let's say 990 00:54:56,960 --> 00:55:00,759 Speaker 1: you know two, you have that initial consultation, then in 991 00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:03,279 Speaker 1: some states the same physician has to see you for 992 00:55:03,640 --> 00:55:06,600 Speaker 1: again the actual abortion, but not until three days later. 993 00:55:06,719 --> 00:55:08,960 Speaker 1: So imagine like you have you already have children, right, 994 00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:12,359 Speaker 1: because take your time. People who have abortions, by the way, 995 00:55:12,520 --> 00:55:15,680 Speaker 1: are very often women who already have to already mothers 996 00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:18,400 Speaker 1: already have children, you know, So like, what do you 997 00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:19,880 Speaker 1: what do you do for childcare? What do you do 998 00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:22,040 Speaker 1: for taking time off? During that time? Do you sleep 999 00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:24,000 Speaker 1: in your car? We know you know their people who 1000 00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:27,960 Speaker 1: tell these stories all the time. The later the later 1001 00:55:28,040 --> 00:55:30,440 Speaker 1: you wait to get a procedure. It also gets exponentially 1002 00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:33,640 Speaker 1: more expensive because the medicine behind your changes at six weeks. 1003 00:55:33,760 --> 00:55:35,880 Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys had a medication abortion 1004 00:55:36,040 --> 00:55:38,279 Speaker 1: or a physical one, but you can do either. A 1005 00:55:38,320 --> 00:55:43,600 Speaker 1: medication abortion is literally taking some pills and going home. Yeah, 1006 00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:46,640 Speaker 1: I think I have the same. My body had something 1007 00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:49,600 Speaker 1: almost identically to Plan B S to a medication abortion, 1008 00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:52,320 Speaker 1: where I was right, don't enjoy this at all. I 1009 00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:59,760 Speaker 1: think I have something something. You had a physical procedure, 1010 00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:07,520 Speaker 1: surgical and medical. Yeah, surgical is yeah, so there's a 1011 00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:10,600 Speaker 1: medical abortion, which is the pills. Oftentimes it's referred to 1012 00:56:10,640 --> 00:56:14,400 Speaker 1: a surgical but that implies like cutting. Okay, yeah, that 1013 00:56:14,760 --> 00:56:19,680 Speaker 1: it was like a vacuum. I think. So all make 1014 00:56:19,719 --> 00:56:21,600 Speaker 1: a face. So you have to go, you have to 1015 00:56:21,680 --> 00:56:23,160 Speaker 1: maybe you have to wait. Maybe you have to hear 1016 00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:26,080 Speaker 1: a state mandated script the full of medical and accuracies, 1017 00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:28,600 Speaker 1: because states passed those laws where the doctor has to 1018 00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:30,360 Speaker 1: read you a thing and then be like none. If 1019 00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:32,359 Speaker 1: this is true. I had to tell you that because 1020 00:56:32,400 --> 00:56:35,520 Speaker 1: the state mandated that I tell you that, UM, And 1021 00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:37,239 Speaker 1: then you get the procedure. You may have to wait 1022 00:56:37,280 --> 00:56:38,680 Speaker 1: for somebody to come and pick you up because you 1023 00:56:38,719 --> 00:56:41,560 Speaker 1: can't leave alone, especially if you had I used to 1024 00:56:41,600 --> 00:56:43,640 Speaker 1: do in high school. And then there's the question of 1025 00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:45,920 Speaker 1: how are you going to pay for it? If you 1026 00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:48,960 Speaker 1: are poor and you don't live in a state, Medicaid 1027 00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:51,800 Speaker 1: won't cover it, your insurance may not cover it. In 1028 00:56:51,880 --> 00:56:54,040 Speaker 1: New York, they are mandated to cover it at pay 1029 00:56:54,239 --> 00:56:56,439 Speaker 1: or they'll do a portion of it, or they'll cover 1030 00:56:56,520 --> 00:56:58,480 Speaker 1: a portion of it. Um. And then you have to 1031 00:56:58,520 --> 00:57:01,279 Speaker 1: come up with the rest. Now the resources to help 1032 00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:03,360 Speaker 1: you come up with the rest. There is a network 1033 00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:07,120 Speaker 1: of abortion funds across the country. UM. They are amazing. 1034 00:57:07,400 --> 00:57:09,640 Speaker 1: They are by and large volunteer run and driven by 1035 00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:13,160 Speaker 1: individual donors, and they will help you pay for your 1036 00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:16,880 Speaker 1: abortion like a good grassroots They're they're incredible, incredible, they 1037 00:57:16,960 --> 00:57:21,080 Speaker 1: have they are primarily run by and I believe founded 1038 00:57:21,120 --> 00:57:23,600 Speaker 1: by women of color. They've existed for a long time. 1039 00:57:24,200 --> 00:57:26,120 Speaker 1: Some of them pay for abortion hair, some of them 1040 00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:30,160 Speaker 1: help with travel logistics, some of them can we talk 1041 00:57:30,160 --> 00:57:34,560 Speaker 1: about National Network of abortion funds. Someone who's listening who 1042 00:57:34,640 --> 00:57:37,200 Speaker 1: maybe can't get pregnant but wants to help, either men 1043 00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:40,200 Speaker 1: listening or women that can't get whatever, how can they 1044 00:57:40,320 --> 00:57:43,360 Speaker 1: help in their communities? UM, I know we have escorts 1045 00:57:43,360 --> 00:57:45,480 Speaker 1: in some places. I don't know what it was called 1046 00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:47,360 Speaker 1: that I did, but basically, if I was free, I 1047 00:57:47,400 --> 00:57:49,040 Speaker 1: would call the planned parent wouldn't be like yo, if 1048 00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:50,920 Speaker 1: anybody needs help, and they would call me back. Like 1049 00:57:51,080 --> 00:57:53,480 Speaker 1: it wasn't even a real sign up thing. There was 1050 00:57:53,600 --> 00:57:55,880 Speaker 1: no real place to do this. I was sixteen, I 1051 00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:58,440 Speaker 1: just got a license, maybe like online. I don't know, 1052 00:57:58,520 --> 00:58:00,919 Speaker 1: but I'm sure there is now. Yeah, basically I would 1053 00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:03,880 Speaker 1: go and they would just have me meet the girl 1054 00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:06,520 Speaker 1: like maybe an hour before, and then I would drive them. 1055 00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:08,760 Speaker 1: And even when I was sitting in the parking lot, 1056 00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:10,320 Speaker 1: people would go off because I knew what I was doing. 1057 00:58:10,480 --> 00:58:13,200 Speaker 1: They've seen before. So there's a lot of different ways 1058 00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:16,080 Speaker 1: people can be involved in this. UM. The baseline is 1059 00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:20,200 Speaker 1: making this a decision point. You're voting and not voting 1060 00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:24,320 Speaker 1: for anti choice politicians, not just at the presidential level, 1061 00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:25,880 Speaker 1: not at just at the federal level, but at the 1062 00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:30,040 Speaker 1: state level and local level. State elections. Um, there are 1063 00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:33,440 Speaker 1: a lot of places that need your money. The abortion 1064 00:58:33,560 --> 00:58:35,960 Speaker 1: funds and they exist in every part of the country 1065 00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:41,120 Speaker 1: rely exclusively on grassroots dotations. So you are helping someone 1066 00:58:41,200 --> 00:58:48,040 Speaker 1: pay for their abortion care, I'll reach out for sure. Yeah, 1067 00:58:48,520 --> 00:58:52,200 Speaker 1: And um, the other pieces to talk about it, Um, 1068 00:58:52,840 --> 00:58:54,920 Speaker 1: I'm part of why I was so excited to come 1069 00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:58,520 Speaker 1: here is because healthcare is an important part of being 1070 00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:02,360 Speaker 1: sex positive, and worshion is part of having set. UM. 1071 00:59:02,920 --> 00:59:05,640 Speaker 1: And I'm so excited that we're talking about this, and 1072 00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:09,480 Speaker 1: You'm so glad that our listeners are gonna like I've 1073 00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:11,600 Speaker 1: learned so much literally just sitting across from you in 1074 00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:14,000 Speaker 1: the last hour. Um. And I'm sure just even our 1075 00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:17,440 Speaker 1: listeners like they'll be able to do more further research 1076 00:59:17,520 --> 00:59:19,920 Speaker 1: on their own. And for any of our listeners who 1077 00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:23,520 Speaker 1: are having, you know, the struggles psychologically or with the 1078 00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:25,520 Speaker 1: people in their life, like pressuring them to either have 1079 00:59:25,680 --> 00:59:27,960 Speaker 1: one or not have one, genuinely just listening to this 1080 00:59:28,040 --> 00:59:30,560 Speaker 1: episode and hopefully making the decision for themselves, I feel 1081 00:59:30,560 --> 00:59:33,120 Speaker 1: like there's going to be someone who listens that it's like, Oh, 1082 00:59:33,360 --> 00:59:35,560 Speaker 1: you're just basically acting like aborson is not a big deal. 1083 00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:38,760 Speaker 1: Much like our HIV episode when people were like, yeah, 1084 00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:40,880 Speaker 1: you guys make it that and hurt bees. You make 1085 00:59:40,920 --> 00:59:42,960 Speaker 1: it not like a big deal. But I feel like 1086 00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:46,920 Speaker 1: out of everything that we've ever covered, abortion is the 1087 00:59:47,040 --> 00:59:50,400 Speaker 1: most not like normal. You said it was normal in 1088 00:59:50,440 --> 00:59:54,360 Speaker 1: the which has been a king to the league, like 1089 00:59:54,560 --> 00:59:58,240 Speaker 1: it's we've both had it. I can't address these statistics 1090 00:59:58,320 --> 01:00:01,920 Speaker 1: on that, but I just don't know. I don't know 1091 01:00:02,040 --> 01:00:05,120 Speaker 1: how many people, Like four people have Okay, has anyone 1092 01:00:05,160 --> 01:00:07,120 Speaker 1: in this room ate ship? No, but three of us 1093 01:00:07,280 --> 01:00:11,480 Speaker 1: had there. We go, all right, you know my dog does. 1094 01:00:11,600 --> 01:00:15,120 Speaker 1: But oh my god. Pink Flamingos is a John Waters 1095 01:00:15,200 --> 01:00:18,480 Speaker 1: movie featuring Divine who was a drag queen and she 1096 01:00:18,600 --> 01:00:23,160 Speaker 1: eats ship in it. Hello, that's the only drag queen 1097 01:00:23,200 --> 01:00:28,160 Speaker 1: movie right now on Classic Oh, del delve into the 1098 01:00:28,200 --> 01:00:30,560 Speaker 1: world of John Water and eating ship. You guys been 1099 01:00:30,600 --> 01:00:33,280 Speaker 1: in the Box, Well, I've been to the Box, but 1100 01:00:33,320 --> 01:00:35,600 Speaker 1: not doing one of their shows. It's it's here and 1101 01:00:35,920 --> 01:00:39,240 Speaker 1: so it's a lesque show show, but like, yeah, it's 1102 01:00:39,400 --> 01:00:42,280 Speaker 1: really out there. I actually saw Sophie Turner, who has 1103 01:00:42,320 --> 01:00:44,480 Speaker 1: sons from Games from there, and I lost it. I'm like, 1104 01:00:44,520 --> 01:00:46,520 Speaker 1: what is she good? Because if she here, I need 1105 01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:48,600 Speaker 1: to be here. It is very yeah one of those venues. 1106 01:00:48,720 --> 01:00:50,440 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, it's to the lower east side, right, 1107 01:00:50,520 --> 01:00:53,680 Speaker 1: So I go. And the second act that I saw 1108 01:00:54,200 --> 01:00:56,240 Speaker 1: was like a fake toilet coming out and I don't 1109 01:00:56,240 --> 01:00:58,240 Speaker 1: know if it was real ship or not, but he 1110 01:00:58,360 --> 01:01:01,400 Speaker 1: definitely wasn't real. He smeared all over himself. The third 1111 01:01:01,480 --> 01:01:03,040 Speaker 1: person I saw that came out and put a water 1112 01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:05,160 Speaker 1: bottle inside of a pussy and like squirted in the 1113 01:01:05,200 --> 01:01:07,440 Speaker 1: audience pete and like or like squirted into like a 1114 01:01:07,520 --> 01:01:10,800 Speaker 1: person like drink. It was great, you guys gotta go. Yeah. 1115 01:01:10,840 --> 01:01:12,720 Speaker 1: So they you look at the Yelp reviews, you'll either 1116 01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:18,520 Speaker 1: see five stars or people five nobody's like, you know, 1117 01:01:18,600 --> 01:01:22,240 Speaker 1: I didn't expect whatever nobody feels like about it. The 1118 01:01:25,520 --> 01:01:28,040 Speaker 1: one other thing I wanted to say, I think, and 1119 01:01:28,160 --> 01:01:30,880 Speaker 1: we hear this a lot with abortion. We hear this 1120 01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:33,600 Speaker 1: with like sexual harassment and rape and all of the 1121 01:01:33,680 --> 01:01:39,320 Speaker 1: things that impact women and other people who aren't straight men. Basically, 1122 01:01:40,680 --> 01:01:44,440 Speaker 1: they you'll often hear men say like I don't know 1123 01:01:44,520 --> 01:01:47,400 Speaker 1: anybody that's happened to I don't know anybody has had abortion. 1124 01:01:50,480 --> 01:01:54,400 Speaker 1: And but it's also like those conversations have you actually 1125 01:01:54,560 --> 01:02:00,080 Speaker 1: tried to have you know a man that's had have 1126 01:02:00,200 --> 01:02:02,919 Speaker 1: one with the right your homeboy then made a bitch 1127 01:02:02,960 --> 01:02:05,080 Speaker 1: having abortion, but you don't know your friends. Ask your 1128 01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:07,280 Speaker 1: male friends, ask your female friends. If you're gonna do it, 1129 01:02:07,400 --> 01:02:09,320 Speaker 1: you have to be prepared to like actually have that 1130 01:02:09,440 --> 01:02:12,439 Speaker 1: conversation and not be an asshole about it for sure, 1131 01:02:12,480 --> 01:02:17,200 Speaker 1: and be genuinely interested in hearing from your friends. But 1132 01:02:17,440 --> 01:02:22,560 Speaker 1: talk about it. You'll learn. Talk to your mom comfortable 1133 01:02:22,680 --> 01:02:25,320 Speaker 1: with like talking to your mom about it, Talk to 1134 01:02:25,400 --> 01:02:28,120 Speaker 1: your aunts, talk to your you know, like other elders 1135 01:02:28,320 --> 01:02:31,360 Speaker 1: and your family who could who would probably be like 1136 01:02:31,760 --> 01:02:35,000 Speaker 1: a little bit more inclined to have the conversation because 1137 01:02:35,040 --> 01:02:37,240 Speaker 1: they know that you're not going to get it. Asked 1138 01:02:37,280 --> 01:02:39,560 Speaker 1: about abortion with when we were I went to see 1139 01:02:39,560 --> 01:02:42,240 Speaker 1: your roar with it like last week and um my 1140 01:02:42,320 --> 01:02:44,200 Speaker 1: mom and I are having a conversation on Georgia and 1141 01:02:44,360 --> 01:02:46,480 Speaker 1: like you know, we're talking about learning stuff and whatever, 1142 01:02:47,040 --> 01:02:49,440 Speaker 1: and I'm like, Grandma, did do you ever have an abortion? 1143 01:02:49,600 --> 01:02:53,880 Speaker 1: And she was like just look and she's like I 1144 01:02:53,920 --> 01:02:56,360 Speaker 1: don't think I could have got it. And I'm like, oh, 1145 01:02:56,960 --> 01:02:59,000 Speaker 1: if my mom is in the car, mind she had 1146 01:02:59,080 --> 01:03:02,680 Speaker 1: three fucking kids, and I'm like, this is awkward, but also, 1147 01:03:02,840 --> 01:03:04,720 Speaker 1: like she was saying to me, she was like, and 1148 01:03:04,800 --> 01:03:07,439 Speaker 1: even if I could, She's like, but I've had enough money, 1149 01:03:07,640 --> 01:03:09,720 Speaker 1: Probably not, I would have been in the same place. 1150 01:03:09,960 --> 01:03:16,240 Speaker 1: And that's the sad thing about it then, So maybe not, 1151 01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:21,080 Speaker 1: which makes it significantly less safe, you know, which is 1152 01:03:21,160 --> 01:03:24,320 Speaker 1: what they're trying. Like just just if abortion if these 1153 01:03:24,360 --> 01:03:26,600 Speaker 1: bands go through, which hopefully, I don't want to talk about, 1154 01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:29,240 Speaker 1: how do unsafe What is an unsafe abortion? We all 1155 01:03:29,280 --> 01:03:32,160 Speaker 1: know about a fucking hanger, but that sounds very like 1156 01:03:32,280 --> 01:03:35,440 Speaker 1: you thrown down the stairs like those probably on the 1157 01:03:35,840 --> 01:03:38,520 Speaker 1: what is the most realistic as it did drink? Someone 1158 01:03:38,600 --> 01:03:42,080 Speaker 1: takes like how are women culturally having unsafe abortions? Like 1159 01:03:42,160 --> 01:03:47,120 Speaker 1: in what way? Well today, so there's a couple of ways. Um, 1160 01:03:47,560 --> 01:03:52,080 Speaker 1: they're having a procedure done by someone who isn't licensed. Um, 1161 01:03:52,360 --> 01:03:55,600 Speaker 1: and they're doing that because they can't access the care 1162 01:03:56,000 --> 01:03:58,000 Speaker 1: and be available to them. Turned out by the way 1163 01:03:58,040 --> 01:04:01,480 Speaker 1: third world countries, Ireland, just an abortion become legal like 1164 01:04:01,800 --> 01:04:03,480 Speaker 1: that ship is really if you couldn't afford to fly 1165 01:04:03,640 --> 01:04:05,720 Speaker 1: out what you want. Yeah, I just want to be 1166 01:04:05,840 --> 01:04:10,880 Speaker 1: clear that, like the reason people don't access like the 1167 01:04:10,960 --> 01:04:13,200 Speaker 1: provision of medical care is usually because there are barriers 1168 01:04:13,240 --> 01:04:17,160 Speaker 1: put in place, so they perhaps ordering pills on the internet, 1169 01:04:17,240 --> 01:04:20,640 Speaker 1: which can be more or less safe depending on the pills. 1170 01:04:21,320 --> 01:04:24,400 Speaker 1: There are herbal remedies which are more or less safe. 1171 01:04:24,480 --> 01:04:27,760 Speaker 1: Some of them have been used for really essentially have 1172 01:04:27,800 --> 01:04:30,880 Speaker 1: a safe miscarriage quote unquote, well, there's no means of 1173 01:04:32,240 --> 01:04:34,040 Speaker 1: deciphering between the two. If you like went to the 1174 01:04:34,080 --> 01:04:36,760 Speaker 1: hospital afterwards, they can't tell if it's safe if you've 1175 01:04:36,800 --> 01:04:42,200 Speaker 1: had an abortion or if you're miscarrying. Okay, But then 1176 01:04:42,280 --> 01:04:44,480 Speaker 1: there are places and I'm forgetting what country it was, 1177 01:04:44,520 --> 01:04:46,640 Speaker 1: it was in South America where they were dealing with 1178 01:04:46,680 --> 01:04:51,240 Speaker 1: an abortion ban, and activists were circulating videos teaching women 1179 01:04:51,440 --> 01:04:55,520 Speaker 1: how to throw themselves in front of a bus it 1180 01:04:55,680 --> 01:04:58,800 Speaker 1: looked like an accident to terminate their pregnancies, or how 1181 01:04:58,880 --> 01:05:02,920 Speaker 1: to trip and fall super human right, how to how 1182 01:05:02,960 --> 01:05:07,080 Speaker 1: to physically induce a miscarriage because they couldn't access abortion. 1183 01:05:08,400 --> 01:05:15,200 Speaker 1: That's insane. Literally, this shouldn't never be the measures that 1184 01:05:15,280 --> 01:05:17,240 Speaker 1: women have to resort to. Listen, if the answer is 1185 01:05:17,400 --> 01:05:19,680 Speaker 1: you have to take herbs, then it worked for thousands 1186 01:05:19,680 --> 01:05:22,840 Speaker 1: of years, Like okay, fine, Like that's not ideal, but like, 1187 01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:26,040 Speaker 1: all right, but to have to cause physical harm to yourself, 1188 01:05:26,120 --> 01:05:29,400 Speaker 1: and people take top beats, they drink bleach, which really 1189 01:05:29,480 --> 01:05:32,520 Speaker 1: doesn't work. Those things are not connected, but people are 1190 01:05:32,600 --> 01:05:37,880 Speaker 1: pretty unaway. Bodies were a movie precious, that's right. She 1191 01:05:38,080 --> 01:05:41,680 Speaker 1: had an abortion by some like neighborhood doctor Lady. That 1192 01:05:42,120 --> 01:05:43,600 Speaker 1: movie came with a while ago, but I do remember 1193 01:05:43,800 --> 01:05:45,720 Speaker 1: that was the first time I had kind of watched 1194 01:05:45,760 --> 01:05:48,080 Speaker 1: it like that and had questions for myself and when 1195 01:05:48,120 --> 01:05:52,440 Speaker 1: I was dancing that but that was the shout out 1196 01:05:52,480 --> 01:05:55,520 Speaker 1: to New Paul. Yeah, I want to read um before 1197 01:05:55,560 --> 01:05:57,680 Speaker 1: we get out of here. Our homemail this week again 1198 01:05:57,840 --> 01:06:01,600 Speaker 1: is from one of our listeners who shared her abortion experience. 1199 01:06:01,960 --> 01:06:03,720 Speaker 1: She says, Hey, y'all, I just want to start by 1200 01:06:03,760 --> 01:06:06,120 Speaker 1: saying I love y'all. I listened faithfully every week and 1201 01:06:06,240 --> 01:06:08,880 Speaker 1: was so happy to hear you guys mentioned abortion. Here's 1202 01:06:08,920 --> 01:06:11,440 Speaker 1: my story. I was fourteen when I had an abortion. 1203 01:06:11,640 --> 01:06:14,280 Speaker 1: I had only had sex eight times and knew nothing 1204 01:06:14,320 --> 01:06:16,320 Speaker 1: about what I was doing. I was a freshman in 1205 01:06:16,400 --> 01:06:18,800 Speaker 1: high school sneaking around with a nineteen year old senior. 1206 01:06:19,160 --> 01:06:20,840 Speaker 1: He was the star of the football team, and he 1207 01:06:20,920 --> 01:06:24,200 Speaker 1: made me feel special. Eventually, we stopped having sex because 1208 01:06:24,200 --> 01:06:25,960 Speaker 1: I found out he had a whole girlfriend, not a 1209 01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:29,280 Speaker 1: half one, a whole one. Fast forward, I start throwing 1210 01:06:29,400 --> 01:06:31,720 Speaker 1: up all day long after every meal. I can't make 1211 01:06:31,760 --> 01:06:35,080 Speaker 1: it through basketball practice anymore. I sleep all day long, 1212 01:06:35,160 --> 01:06:36,840 Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, I can't see my feet 1213 01:06:36,840 --> 01:06:40,880 Speaker 1: in the shower anymore. One morning, one morning, I threw 1214 01:06:40,960 --> 01:06:42,960 Speaker 1: up after I had breakfast, and my mom straight up 1215 01:06:42,960 --> 01:06:45,160 Speaker 1: asked me if I was pregnant. I hadn't told anyone 1216 01:06:45,240 --> 01:06:47,640 Speaker 1: but my big sister that I was having sex, so 1217 01:06:47,800 --> 01:06:50,120 Speaker 1: I was in shock, but I was honest. I told 1218 01:06:50,160 --> 01:06:53,080 Speaker 1: her I didn't know. Her reaction was what any black 1219 01:06:53,120 --> 01:06:57,120 Speaker 1: mother's reaction would be. She was pissed. She called my dad, stepmom, 1220 01:06:57,240 --> 01:07:00,360 Speaker 1: and stepdad, and they made me explain everything. My dad 1221 01:07:00,480 --> 01:07:04,320 Speaker 1: called the whole team. My dad called me a hot 1222 01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:08,320 Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe maybe my dad called me at home. 1223 01:07:08,440 --> 01:07:10,960 Speaker 1: My stepmom told me this baby was going to ruin 1224 01:07:11,080 --> 01:07:13,160 Speaker 1: my life and they were going to let it. They 1225 01:07:13,240 --> 01:07:15,600 Speaker 1: then made me take them over to the house. His 1226 01:07:15,760 --> 01:07:19,080 Speaker 1: mom was there, but he wasn't, and she basically acted 1227 01:07:19,120 --> 01:07:21,520 Speaker 1: like she didn't care. Then they made me call him 1228 01:07:21,600 --> 01:07:23,800 Speaker 1: and he told my parents it wasn't his and he 1229 01:07:23,920 --> 01:07:27,400 Speaker 1: didn't know me. Oh my god, God, he was the 1230 01:07:27,520 --> 01:07:30,040 Speaker 1: only person I had ever had sex with. So then 1231 01:07:30,120 --> 01:07:32,360 Speaker 1: my parents were really pissed. They made me call and 1232 01:07:32,440 --> 01:07:36,320 Speaker 1: tell my grandparents, and they told everybody else. I felt 1233 01:07:36,400 --> 01:07:38,640 Speaker 1: so ashamed, but at the same time, I still didn't 1234 01:07:38,680 --> 01:07:42,000 Speaker 1: really know no much. For that night, I was at 1235 01:07:42,040 --> 01:07:43,720 Speaker 1: my dad's house and got a call for my mom. 1236 01:07:44,120 --> 01:07:46,560 Speaker 1: She had her first child at eighteen. She told me 1237 01:07:46,720 --> 01:07:49,080 Speaker 1: she's seen me make so many of the same mistakes 1238 01:07:49,160 --> 01:07:51,040 Speaker 1: that she did, but she didn't want this to be 1239 01:07:51,160 --> 01:07:53,560 Speaker 1: one of them. She asked me if I had wanted 1240 01:07:53,600 --> 01:07:55,840 Speaker 1: to keep it. I was honest and said no, I 1241 01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:57,600 Speaker 1: was a baby. What was I going to do with 1242 01:07:57,640 --> 01:07:59,880 Speaker 1: a baby? She told me we didn't have to tell 1243 01:08:00,000 --> 01:08:04,960 Speaker 1: anybody and she would take care of it. Right. I 1244 01:08:05,040 --> 01:08:06,480 Speaker 1: didn't grow up with a lot of money, but my 1245 01:08:06,600 --> 01:08:08,720 Speaker 1: mom took the rest of her income tax money and 1246 01:08:08,800 --> 01:08:10,680 Speaker 1: paid for the doctor's visit where we found out I 1247 01:08:10,760 --> 01:08:13,600 Speaker 1: was eight weeks along and the and they took care 1248 01:08:13,640 --> 01:08:15,840 Speaker 1: of the abortion. She gave me the chance that nobody 1249 01:08:15,880 --> 01:08:18,519 Speaker 1: else wanted to. Now I'm in college grad, I'm a teacher, 1250 01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:21,360 Speaker 1: and I'm influencing more girls like me not to make 1251 01:08:21,400 --> 01:08:24,000 Speaker 1: the same mistakes. It really hurts sometimes to see people 1252 01:08:24,080 --> 01:08:27,800 Speaker 1: openly speak against something they could never understand. All shout 1253 01:08:27,880 --> 01:08:30,280 Speaker 1: from the mountaintops that a woman should have the right 1254 01:08:30,360 --> 01:08:32,200 Speaker 1: to choose what she does with her body. Thanks for 1255 01:08:35,960 --> 01:08:38,320 Speaker 1: my eyes are watering reading that. But I'm also really 1256 01:08:38,360 --> 01:08:40,600 Speaker 1: emotional right now with my anxiety. But dude, because I 1257 01:08:40,680 --> 01:08:42,519 Speaker 1: just that was messed out. You are already the four 1258 01:08:42,560 --> 01:08:44,640 Speaker 1: team if you don't even think you're pregnant, you're that 1259 01:08:44,720 --> 01:08:49,479 Speaker 1: oblivious and everyone everyone's letting him off the hook like 1260 01:08:49,560 --> 01:08:51,160 Speaker 1: it's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. 1261 01:08:53,600 --> 01:08:58,519 Speaker 1: I'm not wishing bad on nobody, but yesabok and just 1262 01:08:58,680 --> 01:09:01,320 Speaker 1: see and if he ain't, let's all rejoice. Email us. 1263 01:09:02,160 --> 01:09:07,479 Speaker 1: You know that was But also again, as a woman 1264 01:09:07,560 --> 01:09:13,320 Speaker 1: like you, feel the shame from every The kid was 1265 01:09:13,360 --> 01:09:18,519 Speaker 1: probably scared to his parents, who sure you know, mom, 1266 01:09:18,680 --> 01:09:22,840 Speaker 1: who knew, who knew, and who knew that she also 1267 01:09:22,920 --> 01:09:24,760 Speaker 1: had to hide that from all of those other people, 1268 01:09:25,160 --> 01:09:26,800 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, And that's what it becomes 1269 01:09:26,880 --> 01:09:30,240 Speaker 1: like this roal, intergenerational like trauma that gets passed down 1270 01:09:30,360 --> 01:09:33,160 Speaker 1: and it doesn't. I get frustrated because it doesn't have to. 1271 01:09:33,600 --> 01:09:36,080 Speaker 1: But also for any of any for anyone who's a 1272 01:09:36,160 --> 01:09:39,280 Speaker 1: mother of a teenage daughter for her first response to 1273 01:09:39,479 --> 01:09:42,599 Speaker 1: be to call everyone in the family without first having 1274 01:09:42,680 --> 01:09:45,200 Speaker 1: that conversation where her, Because now even though you did 1275 01:09:45,280 --> 01:09:47,120 Speaker 1: take her to have the abortion, everyone knows she was pregnant. 1276 01:09:47,160 --> 01:09:50,200 Speaker 1: How you think the baby just disappeared? So without even saying, hey, 1277 01:09:50,240 --> 01:09:52,240 Speaker 1: I want to take her to get an abortion, it's 1278 01:09:52,240 --> 01:09:55,920 Speaker 1: wanting to shame, but a lot of I was recently 1279 01:09:55,960 --> 01:09:59,240 Speaker 1: talking to the lady when I was getting my hair braided, 1280 01:09:59,280 --> 01:10:02,760 Speaker 1: and she was like, we watched this woman embarrass her 1281 01:10:02,840 --> 01:10:04,720 Speaker 1: kid in the hair song, right, And I was like, 1282 01:10:05,800 --> 01:10:07,800 Speaker 1: as gonna say, it's like a lesson, right, Yeah. Now, 1283 01:10:07,920 --> 01:10:09,720 Speaker 1: my mom had done a few things to try to 1284 01:10:09,800 --> 01:10:12,720 Speaker 1: embarrass me, Like I think I was really young, and 1285 01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:14,760 Speaker 1: like I made front of this girl about what she 1286 01:10:14,880 --> 01:10:16,479 Speaker 1: was wearing, so my mom wouldn't let me wear my 1287 01:10:16,600 --> 01:10:18,679 Speaker 1: certain things. I was a kid as an element elementary school, 1288 01:10:18,880 --> 01:10:21,160 Speaker 1: but I understood that lesson. To me, that's a value, right, 1289 01:10:21,200 --> 01:10:22,840 Speaker 1: It's like I still have clothes to wear to school, 1290 01:10:22,880 --> 01:10:24,639 Speaker 1: but it's not what I wanted. That was her way 1291 01:10:24,680 --> 01:10:28,280 Speaker 1: of letting me feel it. When parents try to embarrass 1292 01:10:28,360 --> 01:10:31,759 Speaker 1: kids like I really don't believe it's this transformative justice 1293 01:10:32,200 --> 01:10:36,280 Speaker 1: at all, Like it's degrading as fun. My sister soul 1294 01:10:36,400 --> 01:10:40,439 Speaker 1: something one time and my mom turn it literally made 1295 01:10:40,479 --> 01:10:50,160 Speaker 1: her back. I got difference from versus like telling everyone's 1296 01:10:50,200 --> 01:10:54,120 Speaker 1: like to own up to. In this girl's scenario, she had, 1297 01:10:55,040 --> 01:10:56,880 Speaker 1: what that's not a thing you have to own up to. 1298 01:10:57,280 --> 01:10:59,439 Speaker 1: That's the thing you do, and that's an okay choice 1299 01:10:59,680 --> 01:11:03,280 Speaker 1: in the rate, right, So it's not like stealing is 1300 01:11:03,360 --> 01:11:06,600 Speaker 1: wrong depending on who you're stealing. A lot of you 1301 01:11:06,720 --> 01:11:12,160 Speaker 1: might be hearing this age fourteen and like all high school, 1302 01:11:12,280 --> 01:11:15,040 Speaker 1: but high school, I mean that's the age one of 1303 01:11:15,120 --> 01:11:17,439 Speaker 1: the y and one of the things that we also 1304 01:11:17,520 --> 01:11:21,120 Speaker 1: advocate for. Obviously, abortion is sort of our centerpiece, like 1305 01:11:21,320 --> 01:11:22,760 Speaker 1: that is the thing, but it's also the thing that's 1306 01:11:22,800 --> 01:11:26,000 Speaker 1: most under attack. Access to contraception is so important and 1307 01:11:26,360 --> 01:11:29,160 Speaker 1: harder than it should be. Um. But the other thing 1308 01:11:29,280 --> 01:11:33,120 Speaker 1: is that sex said in this country is like you know, 1309 01:11:33,479 --> 01:11:35,360 Speaker 1: if you're at a public you know who's providing some 1310 01:11:35,479 --> 01:11:37,919 Speaker 1: of that sex said in some schools, those fake clinics. 1311 01:11:38,520 --> 01:11:41,200 Speaker 1: Governments are bringing them in to do abstinence only education. 1312 01:11:41,560 --> 01:11:44,559 Speaker 1: So there's a real need to reform that. It's something 1313 01:11:44,640 --> 01:11:47,240 Speaker 1: that should be like a K through twelve learning experience. 1314 01:11:47,600 --> 01:11:49,360 Speaker 1: You're not going to send a kid to college and 1315 01:11:49,520 --> 01:11:51,519 Speaker 1: be like, do calculus if you didn't teach them how 1316 01:11:51,520 --> 01:11:55,360 Speaker 1: to count in kindergarten. But we're sending kids off graduating 1317 01:11:55,600 --> 01:11:57,040 Speaker 1: out of high school and being like, you need to 1318 01:11:57,120 --> 01:12:00,400 Speaker 1: understand consent, You need to understand your body under not 1319 01:12:00,600 --> 01:12:03,960 Speaker 1: wanting your kid to be in sex. You have to 1320 01:12:04,000 --> 01:12:06,040 Speaker 1: get permission to be able to teach it to kids. 1321 01:12:06,120 --> 01:12:08,639 Speaker 1: And a lot of the legislators love to say, well, 1322 01:12:08,840 --> 01:12:10,960 Speaker 1: parents really want to teach that at home. No, they 1323 01:12:11,080 --> 01:12:15,040 Speaker 1: know they didn't learn it themselves, Like they don't know 1324 01:12:15,120 --> 01:12:17,719 Speaker 1: how to conversation. And we wouldn't have such a consent 1325 01:12:17,880 --> 01:12:20,960 Speaker 1: problem in this country if that was true. And get 1326 01:12:21,040 --> 01:12:23,280 Speaker 1: pregnant only like my mom told me, Like I just 1327 01:12:23,360 --> 01:12:25,800 Speaker 1: didn't ask those specifics right right, Well, like my mom 1328 01:12:25,880 --> 01:12:27,240 Speaker 1: told me about sex. My mom told me how I 1329 01:12:27,280 --> 01:12:29,719 Speaker 1: can get pregnant, like I got to use a condom, 1330 01:12:29,760 --> 01:12:32,080 Speaker 1: birth control, things like that. But I still really was like, yo, 1331 01:12:32,200 --> 01:12:38,600 Speaker 1: pa swallow, never know baby gonna swim down connected. But 1332 01:12:38,640 --> 01:12:42,120 Speaker 1: people don't know that. They don't people don't get taught that. 1333 01:12:42,840 --> 01:12:45,800 Speaker 1: Do you guys have any sort of emails or anything 1334 01:12:45,880 --> 01:12:47,280 Speaker 1: that we would be able to let our listeners know 1335 01:12:47,320 --> 01:12:49,439 Speaker 1: if they have any questions to you or I guess 1336 01:12:49,479 --> 01:12:51,400 Speaker 1: we can go ahead and also just shout out on 1337 01:12:51,479 --> 01:12:54,720 Speaker 1: before we get out of here, the places that they 1338 01:12:54,760 --> 01:12:57,280 Speaker 1: could do outreach to UM and maybe find the answers 1339 01:12:57,320 --> 01:12:59,960 Speaker 1: they want regarding the laws that are going cover from 1340 01:13:00,040 --> 01:13:01,880 Speaker 1: thing now. I don't know if you did when I 1341 01:13:01,920 --> 01:13:05,080 Speaker 1: was in the bathroom the effects of too many like 1342 01:13:05,200 --> 01:13:07,800 Speaker 1: is there a two high number? No? No, but we 1343 01:13:07,840 --> 01:13:11,320 Speaker 1: talked about it not affecting the reproduction and also like, 1344 01:13:12,120 --> 01:13:14,960 Speaker 1: so it doesn't affect the reproduction, right, what are the 1345 01:13:15,040 --> 01:13:18,080 Speaker 1: statistics that we are fucking seeing like that? Like we 1346 01:13:18,800 --> 01:13:21,800 Speaker 1: sat in this episode, Mandy heard it, I said, no way, 1347 01:13:22,080 --> 01:13:24,759 Speaker 1: googled it and it came up like it was fucking gospel, 1348 01:13:25,320 --> 01:13:28,120 Speaker 1: Like are there studies that are like it? Could could 1349 01:13:28,160 --> 01:13:33,680 Speaker 1: there be a false about fertility? Yeah? Fertility the one 1350 01:13:33,720 --> 01:13:36,120 Speaker 1: thing that I would really really not like. So okay 1351 01:13:36,200 --> 01:13:37,640 Speaker 1: on that episode again, I keep going back to it. 1352 01:13:37,680 --> 01:13:39,920 Speaker 1: When you guys talked about it, you pulled something up 1353 01:13:39,960 --> 01:13:42,400 Speaker 1: and started reading. In my head as I'm listening, I'm like, 1354 01:13:42,840 --> 01:13:46,080 Speaker 1: what is this source? What is the website? Is this Wikipedia, 1355 01:13:46,240 --> 01:13:48,080 Speaker 1: is it? Pro life dot com? Is it? You know 1356 01:13:48,080 --> 01:13:50,880 Speaker 1: what I mean? Like, where are people finding information? People 1357 01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:53,120 Speaker 1: update Wikipedia? They can just go in there and the 1358 01:13:53,200 --> 01:13:55,960 Speaker 1: update anything one of the things, um that is just 1359 01:13:56,080 --> 01:13:59,680 Speaker 1: coming out in particular, And this isn't fully the same thing, 1360 01:13:59,800 --> 01:14:04,360 Speaker 1: but um, in the last year and a half, studies 1361 01:14:04,400 --> 01:14:08,559 Speaker 1: of the Facebook algorithm show that in particular, anti abortion 1362 01:14:08,640 --> 01:14:15,200 Speaker 1: stories get lifted up in social media more than other sources. 1363 01:14:15,400 --> 01:14:20,720 Speaker 1: So life news gets like elevated in shares of life news. 1364 01:14:20,800 --> 01:14:23,639 Speaker 1: Get life news dot com, which is they're not good 1365 01:14:23,760 --> 01:14:27,360 Speaker 1: life news dot com. Okay, not a good source. It's ironic, right, 1366 01:14:27,600 --> 01:14:30,439 Speaker 1: like life sounds like a good thing. Inevitably, if you 1367 01:14:30,479 --> 01:14:32,880 Speaker 1: were reading about reproduction and there's the word life in 1368 01:14:32,920 --> 01:14:36,479 Speaker 1: the title, it is almost always an anti abortion source. 1369 01:14:37,080 --> 01:14:41,040 Speaker 1: So um, there's lots of resources out there that makes sense, 1370 01:14:41,560 --> 01:14:44,120 Speaker 1: right and that I actually shout out to an EQUO 1371 01:14:44,240 --> 01:14:46,200 Speaker 1: used to work with. She sent an article to me 1372 01:14:46,280 --> 01:14:49,000 Speaker 1: this morning on this. Right wing sources dominate abortion related 1373 01:14:49,040 --> 01:14:54,200 Speaker 1: news on Facebook. Sixt of links and se Facebook um 1374 01:14:54,439 --> 01:14:59,160 Speaker 1: posts are coming from right leaning like this is again 1375 01:14:59,240 --> 01:15:02,760 Speaker 1: this is something honestly, don't even get it anymore, Like 1376 01:15:03,479 --> 01:15:07,240 Speaker 1: I unrelated but like posted a picture with the girl 1377 01:15:07,320 --> 01:15:09,880 Speaker 1: I'm dating and I kissed her. You wouldn't believe the 1378 01:15:09,920 --> 01:15:11,960 Speaker 1: amount of fake pages that like has ship to say about. 1379 01:15:12,479 --> 01:15:14,840 Speaker 1: I literally talked about eating a cream pie out of 1380 01:15:14,920 --> 01:15:18,880 Speaker 1: someone before, but seeing me kiss this girl on Instagram 1381 01:15:19,360 --> 01:15:22,600 Speaker 1: was too fucking too far. Certain that we have for 1382 01:15:22,680 --> 01:15:26,000 Speaker 1: other people and their bodies, the concern that men have, 1383 01:15:27,240 --> 01:15:32,240 Speaker 1: it's it's all it's all about control, it's all about Um, 1384 01:15:33,840 --> 01:15:35,920 Speaker 1: this is where I start to sound like a little cookie, 1385 01:15:36,000 --> 01:15:39,200 Speaker 1: but like, it's it's all about a system of oppression. Um, 1386 01:15:40,240 --> 01:15:43,800 Speaker 1: you're talking to POC and we're women. Like, there's all 1387 01:15:43,840 --> 01:15:47,960 Speaker 1: sorts of systems in place to keep non white people oppressed, right, 1388 01:15:48,880 --> 01:15:52,639 Speaker 1: you know, all sorts of voter suppression, redlining, like every 1389 01:15:52,760 --> 01:15:55,599 Speaker 1: horrible racist policy that exists in this country. Right, There's 1390 01:15:55,760 --> 01:15:58,080 Speaker 1: all sorts of systems in place to keep gay people oppressed. 1391 01:15:58,080 --> 01:16:00,599 Speaker 1: There's all sorts of systems to keep women oppress. All 1392 01:16:00,680 --> 01:16:03,160 Speaker 1: of the systems are in place to keep everybody except 1393 01:16:03,200 --> 01:16:07,880 Speaker 1: for straight white men oppressed. Design and it's my design, right, 1394 01:16:07,920 --> 01:16:11,519 Speaker 1: It's on purpose, And they're freaking out right now, and 1395 01:16:11,560 --> 01:16:15,439 Speaker 1: all these laws are passing right now because women are 1396 01:16:15,479 --> 01:16:20,719 Speaker 1: standing up, because gay people are standing up because because 1397 01:16:20,760 --> 01:16:23,559 Speaker 1: black people are standing up and they're scared because we're 1398 01:16:23,600 --> 01:16:26,240 Speaker 1: making a lot more progress than we ever have. Right. 1399 01:16:26,920 --> 01:16:34,120 Speaker 1: So there's a ton of resources out there. Organization. I mean, 1400 01:16:34,200 --> 01:16:36,280 Speaker 1: I will put in a plug for our website, which 1401 01:16:36,400 --> 01:16:39,280 Speaker 1: is UM and I are health dot org. And if 1402 01:16:39,320 --> 01:16:41,840 Speaker 1: you're interested in like the local level laws that are 1403 01:16:41,840 --> 01:16:43,720 Speaker 1: being passed, what's going on at that level, it's a 1404 01:16:43,760 --> 01:16:46,120 Speaker 1: great place. VP. We ain't gotta ask nobody else. We 1405 01:16:46,200 --> 01:16:52,360 Speaker 1: come a right, you just call me Daniel name. You 1406 01:16:52,400 --> 01:16:54,280 Speaker 1: will not be the first person just call me now 1407 01:16:54,360 --> 01:16:57,960 Speaker 1: that I'm also everyone's aunt who like they're like, oh hey, 1408 01:16:58,080 --> 01:17:00,320 Speaker 1: my kid needs to ask you a question, like all right, hey, 1409 01:17:00,439 --> 01:17:04,240 Speaker 1: and and I'm like, okay, well you remember when your 1410 01:17:04,280 --> 01:17:08,280 Speaker 1: mom was pregnant. Okay, let's start there. UM. So we 1411 01:17:08,400 --> 01:17:11,040 Speaker 1: have a lot of information on the local stuff that's happening. 1412 01:17:11,400 --> 01:17:14,439 Speaker 1: There's an organization called bedsider that if you're trying to 1413 01:17:14,520 --> 01:17:17,879 Speaker 1: find the right contraception for you, they're an excellent resource. 1414 01:17:18,439 --> 01:17:21,639 Speaker 1: Everything that's like laid out really nicely. Some other non 1415 01:17:21,680 --> 01:17:24,280 Speaker 1: hormonal besides I do the rhythm method, you use a diaphram, 1416 01:17:24,640 --> 01:17:30,080 Speaker 1: some um any other ones that maybe are it's really 1417 01:17:30,160 --> 01:17:32,800 Speaker 1: once you're doing non hormonal, you're talking about physical barriers, right, 1418 01:17:33,160 --> 01:17:35,960 Speaker 1: so a diaphermo or cervical care, both things that go 1419 01:17:36,040 --> 01:17:39,519 Speaker 1: inside you. A non hormonal I U D or or 1420 01:17:39,640 --> 01:17:46,320 Speaker 1: condoms and tracking um. There are a ton of hormonal 1421 01:17:46,400 --> 01:17:48,519 Speaker 1: methods that work really well for people, but you do 1422 01:17:48,760 --> 01:17:50,880 Speaker 1: sometimes have to find the one that works for you. 1423 01:17:52,400 --> 01:17:54,599 Speaker 1: The first pill that your doctor puts you on might 1424 01:17:54,640 --> 01:17:58,360 Speaker 1: not be the best one for your body. May not be. 1425 01:18:02,840 --> 01:18:06,200 Speaker 1: And that's why I stopped, Like I just I didn't 1426 01:18:06,200 --> 01:18:09,519 Speaker 1: like taking a pill every day, and I felt crazy, 1427 01:18:09,760 --> 01:18:12,320 Speaker 1: and I didn't want to take the effort to go 1428 01:18:12,439 --> 01:18:17,200 Speaker 1: through finding already acquired crazy. Not to mention when I 1429 01:18:17,320 --> 01:18:19,120 Speaker 1: got the depot. I remember coming back and like, hey, 1430 01:18:19,360 --> 01:18:21,360 Speaker 1: I gained weight, and he was like, yeah, the depot 1431 01:18:21,400 --> 01:18:23,479 Speaker 1: didn't make you gain weight. Maybe your appetite went up. 1432 01:18:23,760 --> 01:18:27,599 Speaker 1: And I was like, probably because of the depot, believe 1433 01:18:27,600 --> 01:18:29,639 Speaker 1: it or not. But you are not the first person 1434 01:18:29,720 --> 01:18:33,200 Speaker 1: who had that explained. It was such a Remember there 1435 01:18:33,280 --> 01:18:35,519 Speaker 1: was the thing that came out where they had been 1436 01:18:35,680 --> 01:18:39,679 Speaker 1: working on hormonal birth control for men, but the side 1437 01:18:39,720 --> 01:18:42,040 Speaker 1: effects was just too much, and the side effects were 1438 01:18:42,080 --> 01:18:46,240 Speaker 1: like bloating and like remember that I was like, only 1439 01:18:47,560 --> 01:18:51,840 Speaker 1: try every month you got bloated, take the pill. Man. 1440 01:18:53,280 --> 01:18:56,519 Speaker 1: If men I would get pregnant, we all would not 1441 01:18:56,600 --> 01:18:58,920 Speaker 1: be sitting here right now. We would not be having 1442 01:18:58,960 --> 01:19:01,599 Speaker 1: this conversation. Y'all. Motherfuckers need to go ahead. There's bout 1443 01:19:01,600 --> 01:19:03,280 Speaker 1: of control for men too. So if y'all are out 1444 01:19:03,320 --> 01:19:05,040 Speaker 1: here not wanting a baby, but y'all want to sit 1445 01:19:05,120 --> 01:19:08,400 Speaker 1: here and keep sucking bitches all, there are vasectomes or 1446 01:19:08,840 --> 01:19:12,880 Speaker 1: very easy procedures. They are out patients them. I know 1447 01:19:13,200 --> 01:19:15,240 Speaker 1: I'm talking to a lot of men who have vasectomies. 1448 01:19:15,520 --> 01:19:18,800 Speaker 1: The second may rates go up during whatever the best 1449 01:19:19,400 --> 01:19:26,120 Speaker 1: whatever the basketball thing is, college basketball thing, March madness 1450 01:19:27,640 --> 01:19:30,800 Speaker 1: really because they during March bad time and they have 1451 01:19:30,880 --> 01:19:35,639 Speaker 1: to take three days off and they can watch basketball tea. 1452 01:19:36,680 --> 01:19:40,800 Speaker 1: We want to true, but one would be good for us. 1453 01:19:40,880 --> 01:19:45,320 Speaker 1: Then literally any day you get to sit at home, Yeah, 1454 01:19:46,479 --> 01:19:49,040 Speaker 1: I don't even I feel like we always go ahead 1455 01:19:49,080 --> 01:19:50,679 Speaker 1: and do it liber day week in a Memorial weekend 1456 01:19:50,680 --> 01:19:51,840 Speaker 1: when you don't have to take a day off of 1457 01:19:51,880 --> 01:19:54,559 Speaker 1: work because they pay, you know, during a long weekends 1458 01:19:54,560 --> 01:19:56,200 Speaker 1: where it's different because they're like, we have to take 1459 01:19:56,280 --> 01:19:58,240 Speaker 1: days off work for a vasectomise so we can watch 1460 01:19:58,280 --> 01:20:00,679 Speaker 1: March Randness and you're like, I don't want to chakeboy jays. 1461 01:20:00,840 --> 01:20:03,080 Speaker 1: Can I start one more little bit of outrage if 1462 01:20:03,120 --> 01:20:05,559 Speaker 1: you want to get a tub bulligation as a as 1463 01:20:05,640 --> 01:20:08,880 Speaker 1: a woman is getting your tubes tied, getting your tubes tied, 1464 01:20:09,160 --> 01:20:11,920 Speaker 1: it's really like a lot of times if you're not 1465 01:20:12,000 --> 01:20:17,479 Speaker 1: a certain age, haven't happen. They will freshure you and like, 1466 01:20:17,920 --> 01:20:19,519 Speaker 1: you know how many women I know who have who 1467 01:20:19,680 --> 01:20:22,120 Speaker 1: had conversations with their doctor and they're like, I just 1468 01:20:22,160 --> 01:20:24,400 Speaker 1: don't feel right about it because you're still a child bearing. 1469 01:20:26,439 --> 01:20:28,200 Speaker 1: So my mom has her tubes tied. So that was 1470 01:20:28,240 --> 01:20:29,800 Speaker 1: a conversation I've had with her, and she got it 1471 01:20:29,880 --> 01:20:32,559 Speaker 1: after my youngest sister. There's three of us, and they 1472 01:20:32,640 --> 01:20:35,200 Speaker 1: still we're trying to even though she had, you know, 1473 01:20:35,479 --> 01:20:37,559 Speaker 1: kind of thoughts of even writing the third one because 1474 01:20:37,600 --> 01:20:40,560 Speaker 1: of financial reasons, they still almost were like trying to 1475 01:20:40,640 --> 01:20:43,439 Speaker 1: tell her She's like, I'm done. I think I would 1476 01:20:43,439 --> 01:20:46,680 Speaker 1: know for kids. She's like no, And she had you know, 1477 01:20:46,880 --> 01:20:49,719 Speaker 1: her male partner if they were to walk in, no problem, 1478 01:20:49,800 --> 01:20:51,599 Speaker 1: No questions asked, when do you need a schedule, which 1479 01:20:51,640 --> 01:20:55,200 Speaker 1: is what happened to neil Um and Monetta. I believe 1480 01:20:55,200 --> 01:20:58,560 Speaker 1: it's his ex wife. She she agreed to have the 1481 01:20:59,120 --> 01:21:02,599 Speaker 1: her tubes tied um and now he has a baby 1482 01:21:02,680 --> 01:21:06,160 Speaker 1: with someone else. So that's yeah, that w kumal Bell 1483 01:21:06,320 --> 01:21:10,320 Speaker 1: just did an episode where he broadcast his sect to me. 1484 01:21:10,840 --> 01:21:13,960 Speaker 1: He was like, this is how I'm I'm this is 1485 01:21:14,000 --> 01:21:17,040 Speaker 1: what I'm bringing to our relationship, Like we're done having 1486 01:21:17,120 --> 01:21:18,800 Speaker 1: kids and she doesn't want to be on the pill anymore, 1487 01:21:18,840 --> 01:21:19,960 Speaker 1: so I'm going to get a second me and he 1488 01:21:20,040 --> 01:21:23,880 Speaker 1: like broadcasted. But also this is something that again like 1489 01:21:24,000 --> 01:21:26,720 Speaker 1: abortion needs to be a conversation. A friend of mine, 1490 01:21:26,760 --> 01:21:28,080 Speaker 1: her partner when I got off a sect to me 1491 01:21:28,120 --> 01:21:31,200 Speaker 1: without letting her know. Um and so again, even even 1492 01:21:31,280 --> 01:21:34,200 Speaker 1: those conversations, if you are in a relationship and your 1493 01:21:34,240 --> 01:21:37,719 Speaker 1: partner may or may not be complete with having children, 1494 01:21:38,040 --> 01:21:40,680 Speaker 1: that's also again another conversation that you need to have 1495 01:21:40,800 --> 01:21:42,840 Speaker 1: with your partner if you should be if you're in 1496 01:21:42,880 --> 01:21:45,879 Speaker 1: a relationship you should be making if you change decisions 1497 01:21:47,840 --> 01:21:50,519 Speaker 1: that you can adopt all those fucking crazies out there 1498 01:21:50,520 --> 01:21:53,680 Speaker 1: who are convincing us to keep them forcing motherhood. You 1499 01:21:53,720 --> 01:21:55,560 Speaker 1: can adopt those kids if you change your mind. So 1500 01:21:55,840 --> 01:21:58,360 Speaker 1: I want to thank um once again, Danielle and Lacey 1501 01:21:58,520 --> 01:22:02,479 Speaker 1: for coming to the horribless pots having this conversation, and 1502 01:22:02,560 --> 01:22:04,559 Speaker 1: we hope that all of you guys not only learned something, 1503 01:22:04,600 --> 01:22:06,040 Speaker 1: but got a couple of lasts and there it wasn't 1504 01:22:06,160 --> 01:22:08,160 Speaker 1: is planning, but you know, we're just trying to educate 1505 01:22:08,200 --> 01:22:10,640 Speaker 1: you all. Again. We're sitting across the table um from 1506 01:22:10,680 --> 01:22:12,519 Speaker 1: two professionals and Weezy and I are taking in and 1507 01:22:12,640 --> 01:22:15,759 Speaker 1: learning um every episode that we do with this podcast, 1508 01:22:15,800 --> 01:22:21,240 Speaker 1: So we want to do your research. Guys. UM, there 1509 01:22:21,320 --> 01:22:22,639 Speaker 1: were a lot of good tips in here, and again 1510 01:22:22,640 --> 01:22:25,479 Speaker 1: we're gonna put the information not only in the description 1511 01:22:25,560 --> 01:22:28,280 Speaker 1: of this episode, but on our patron on our Patreon, 1512 01:22:28,400 --> 01:22:29,920 Speaker 1: I do want to give a huge shout out as 1513 01:22:29,960 --> 01:22:32,479 Speaker 1: well to our patrons. As you guys know, for an 1514 01:22:32,479 --> 01:22:36,160 Speaker 1: additional five dollars a month up to fifteen Dallas, you 1515 01:22:36,240 --> 01:22:38,920 Speaker 1: guys can get three bonus episodes per month and those 1516 01:22:38,920 --> 01:22:40,519 Speaker 1: are dropped. If you guys are all caught up with 1517 01:22:40,600 --> 01:22:43,000 Speaker 1: all one hundred plus episodes, we are sitting in a 1518 01:22:43,120 --> 01:22:46,760 Speaker 1: vault of about another forty almost UM, so check out 1519 01:22:47,120 --> 01:22:49,680 Speaker 1: our bonus episodes, become a Patreon because we are an 1520 01:22:49,720 --> 01:22:52,080 Speaker 1: eight teen plus community. You do have to type in 1521 01:22:52,439 --> 01:22:55,840 Speaker 1: Patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions And as always, we're 1522 01:22:55,840 --> 01:22:57,439 Speaker 1: gonna leave you with a clip from one of our 1523 01:22:57,439 --> 01:23:00,080 Speaker 1: bonus episodes. At the end of this episode. Um, we 1524 01:23:00,160 --> 01:23:02,519 Speaker 1: want to thank again Lacy, We want to thank again 1525 01:23:02,600 --> 01:23:07,519 Speaker 1: Danielle for coming in dropping them knowledge Box, thank you 1526 01:23:07,800 --> 01:23:12,760 Speaker 1: for all of that. And again with condoms, y'all with condoms. Um, 1527 01:23:12,840 --> 01:23:15,240 Speaker 1: but once again this has been yet another episode of 1528 01:23:15,360 --> 01:23:21,200 Speaker 1: Horrible Decisions by They identify as straight. Some of them 1529 01:23:21,240 --> 01:23:25,000 Speaker 1: even have wives, they have children, they have whole families. No, 1530 01:23:25,080 --> 01:23:28,519 Speaker 1: they don't like the they like getting head from guys, 1531 01:23:29,000 --> 01:23:33,000 Speaker 1: and they don't they don't. They don't look at oral 1532 01:23:33,160 --> 01:23:35,439 Speaker 1: sex as full sex with the man and he says 1533 01:23:35,479 --> 01:23:37,920 Speaker 1: it all the day. Do's like dog, these niggers just 1534 01:23:37,960 --> 01:23:40,240 Speaker 1: want me to head. They just want head from men. 1535 01:23:40,400 --> 01:23:43,320 Speaker 1: And I've met a lot of men that actually like that. 1536 01:23:43,840 --> 01:23:48,400 Speaker 1: And so it's like they won't sure, but they won't 1537 01:23:48,439 --> 01:23:52,920 Speaker 1: identify as gay, questionable by curious They're like none, I'm straight, 1538 01:23:53,160 --> 01:23:55,360 Speaker 1: but they like getting head from guys. And Nicold has 1539 01:23:55,400 --> 01:23:59,280 Speaker 1: went to Evard like midnight talking about night. Oh, she 1540 01:23:59,400 --> 01:24:01,599 Speaker 1: talks about you know, I don't know, there's a guy 1541 01:24:01,720 --> 01:24:04,719 Speaker 1: speaking in the book about the Jaws. He was like stronger, 1542 01:24:04,920 --> 01:24:09,400 Speaker 1: Like they do have stronger. Yeah, the next one, and 1543 01:24:09,520 --> 01:24:11,479 Speaker 1: it's non binary. So you guys might hear this one 1544 01:24:11,520 --> 01:24:14,920 Speaker 1: a lot. Um. It's a gender identity and experience that 1545 01:24:15,040 --> 01:24:18,519 Speaker 1: embraces a full universe of expressions in ways that of 1546 01:24:18,640 --> 01:24:21,000 Speaker 1: being that resonate for an individual. It might be an 1547 01:24:21,040 --> 01:24:24,720 Speaker 1: active resistance to binary gender expectations. And by the way 1548 01:24:24,840 --> 01:24:27,479 Speaker 1: that sentence, an active resistance. What is that I say 1549 01:24:27,560 --> 01:24:29,880 Speaker 1: non binary when I want to piss people off? What 1550 01:24:30,080 --> 01:24:34,639 Speaker 1: is non binary? Um? Right now? Because so it means 1551 01:24:34,720 --> 01:24:38,520 Speaker 1: that you don't conform to any of them. It's gender nonconforming, 1552 01:24:38,720 --> 01:24:40,439 Speaker 1: like we just oh, so, well not a man, I'm 1553 01:24:40,439 --> 01:24:43,000 Speaker 1: not a woman. But it's not sexuality because so we 1554 01:24:43,080 --> 01:24:45,599 Speaker 1: just had a coe and gender. Oh's gender okay, because 1555 01:24:45,600 --> 01:24:46,760 Speaker 1: I was gonna say, we just had a couple on 1556 01:24:46,800 --> 01:24:49,160 Speaker 1: and we asked them their sexuality and they were like, well, 1557 01:24:49,479 --> 01:24:50,920 Speaker 1: they didn't want to say straight, they didn't want to 1558 01:24:50,960 --> 01:24:52,519 Speaker 1: say by, they didn't want to say anything. They were 1559 01:24:52,560 --> 01:24:56,599 Speaker 1: just like we just to me, But okay, I think 1560 01:24:56,640 --> 01:24:58,439 Speaker 1: they just didn't know how to identify. I don't think 1561 01:24:58,479 --> 01:25:01,280 Speaker 1: it's like but this is so gender but gender, so 1562 01:25:01,320 --> 01:25:04,599 Speaker 1: we gotta remember gender and sexual orientation are two different things. 1563 01:25:04,640 --> 01:25:09,559 Speaker 1: For example, Chris Jenner, I mean Chris Jenner, Caitlyn Jenner 1564 01:25:09,600 --> 01:25:17,879 Speaker 1: would be ambian or queer. So lesbians are not female. 1565 01:25:18,520 --> 01:25:22,479 Speaker 1: Lesbian is woman attracted to woman. But so here's my thing, 1566 01:25:23,320 --> 01:25:26,640 Speaker 1: trans identify as women. So can you not say that 1567 01:25:26,840 --> 01:25:28,800 Speaker 1: there that Caitlyn Jenner is the lesbians, you know, the 1568 01:25:28,840 --> 01:25:32,120 Speaker 1: different to women and female. Yes, for those of you 1569 01:25:32,200 --> 01:25:33,960 Speaker 1: who aren't listen, who are listening and you get a 1570 01:25:33,960 --> 01:25:37,040 Speaker 1: little confused. Actually, when Sam White came and he was 1571 01:25:37,080 --> 01:25:38,559 Speaker 1: like when guys say female, and he was like, oh, 1572 01:25:38,600 --> 01:25:41,439 Speaker 1: you're truping. Remember that, I get it. I get female 1573 01:25:41,560 --> 01:25:44,760 Speaker 1: describes you by your genitalia, your gender, that it was 1574 01:25:44,800 --> 01:25:47,960 Speaker 1: assigned at birth. Women is how you identify, like I 1575 01:25:48,080 --> 01:25:52,120 Speaker 1: identify as a woman. Um, so apparently Caitleen Jenner is lesbian. 1576 01:25:52,280 --> 01:25:55,599 Speaker 1: But lesbian is women attracted to women, not female attracted 1577 01:25:55,640 --> 01:25:59,240 Speaker 1: to female. So yeah, um, but I think it's queer 1578 01:25:59,280 --> 01:26:03,000 Speaker 1: because she's try but whatever, whatever it was. The next 1579 01:26:03,040 --> 01:26:08,080 Speaker 1: one omni sexual. Okay, this is new a person who 1580 01:26:08,120 --> 01:26:10,800 Speaker 1: has attracted to people from across the gender spectrum. I 1581 01:26:10,880 --> 01:26:13,439 Speaker 1: think this is what I am. Similar to pan sexual 1582 01:26:13,840 --> 01:26:18,360 Speaker 1: omni sexual, people recognize potential partners, genders are attracted to 1583 01:26:18,439 --> 01:26:20,840 Speaker 1: all genders and make decisions about partners based on their gender. 1584 01:26:21,160 --> 01:26:25,439 Speaker 1: So maybe I'm only sexual Beach. I know I've said 1585 01:26:25,439 --> 01:26:27,400 Speaker 1: pant sexual before, but I think it's a live because 1586 01:26:28,360 --> 01:26:31,320 Speaker 1: when I'm women, so in those pay and sexual people 1587 01:26:31,360 --> 01:26:33,840 Speaker 1: say they're like, oh, it just doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. 1588 01:26:34,080 --> 01:26:36,400 Speaker 1: Now I'll be looking at just for who they are. Same. 1589 01:26:36,600 --> 01:26:38,840 Speaker 1: I ain't gonna always look at like hair, the nape 1590 01:26:38,880 --> 01:26:42,400 Speaker 1: of the neck, lips, like hips, like I definitely is 1591 01:26:42,560 --> 01:26:45,479 Speaker 1: there is there like, um, I don't think any of 1592 01:26:45,720 --> 01:26:48,000 Speaker 1: Oh I guess there is one. Maybe no, So like 1593 01:26:48,280 --> 01:26:50,960 Speaker 1: for me when it comes to say all genders, like 1594 01:26:50,960 --> 01:26:53,120 Speaker 1: because I watch all types of port, I watch gay, straight, 1595 01:26:53,200 --> 01:26:57,040 Speaker 1: and transport. But even when I watched transport, I'll be honest, 1596 01:26:57,080 --> 01:26:58,840 Speaker 1: and again I'm sorry if I have had anyone, but 1597 01:26:58,960 --> 01:27:01,360 Speaker 1: when I watched transport, and I want them to be 1598 01:27:01,560 --> 01:27:04,120 Speaker 1: super feminine looking but with big old dicks, and I 1599 01:27:04,200 --> 01:27:06,720 Speaker 1: have a problem with the don't have what you want. 1600 01:27:07,120 --> 01:27:09,760 Speaker 1: So this isn't a I didn't do pant sexual or 1601 01:27:09,800 --> 01:27:11,840 Speaker 1: polly for this one because we discussed it with um 1602 01:27:13,000 --> 01:27:16,719 Speaker 1: MARSI je maybe, but anyway, passing is also gay slang. 1603 01:27:17,320 --> 01:27:19,599 Speaker 1: It's the act of being perceived by others this one's 1604 01:27:19,640 --> 01:27:23,439 Speaker 1: preferred identity. Now imposed did you watch POK I meant 1605 01:27:23,479 --> 01:27:26,479 Speaker 1: to watch it. I know they talk about there's an 1606 01:27:26,560 --> 01:27:29,960 Speaker 1: electro whose imposed makes comments to this other call. She's like, 1607 01:27:30,560 --> 01:27:33,280 Speaker 1: she's like, you're just mad because I'm passing and you're not. 1608 01:27:33,400 --> 01:27:35,800 Speaker 1: I can pass. I could go to Bergdwarf and they're 1609 01:27:35,800 --> 01:27:37,120 Speaker 1: gonna wait on me. They won't do it for you, 1610 01:27:37,479 --> 01:27:39,240 Speaker 1: like they were using that as like a I mean, 1611 01:27:39,280 --> 01:27:41,640 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. Shout out to Jamie Paris who 1612 01:27:41,720 --> 01:27:45,519 Speaker 1: came on the show Beautiful Mitch, and I'm considered a 1613 01:27:45,600 --> 01:27:51,280 Speaker 1: quote unquote passing and and that's what the funds you 1614 01:27:51,400 --> 01:27:54,600 Speaker 1: probably have a problem with you right now. So I 1615 01:27:54,760 --> 01:27:57,880 Speaker 1: just I just feel like you're dramatic because this bitch 1616 01:27:57,960 --> 01:28:01,280 Speaker 1: really just pulled out her and hailer. We're not smoking weed. 1617 01:28:01,560 --> 01:28:05,400 Speaker 1: It's not about the is it? Because this room isn't closed? No, 1618 01:28:05,680 --> 01:28:09,240 Speaker 1: I fucking went. I just near not in workout clothes. 1619 01:28:09,400 --> 01:28:11,960 Speaker 1: So what did you do that? You just had your 1620 01:28:13,200 --> 01:28:16,280 Speaker 1: It's not always like I don't have to be doing 1621 01:28:16,360 --> 01:28:18,600 Speaker 1: something in the moment. Sometimes it could just be like 1622 01:28:18,720 --> 01:28:21,040 Speaker 1: backed up from later. I don't know, Mandy. I felt 1623 01:28:21,040 --> 01:28:26,000 Speaker 1: like I really I was listening this show. Wasn't I wheezing. 1624 01:28:26,080 --> 01:28:27,840 Speaker 1: I was starting to hear it. I didn't hear a bit. 1625 01:28:28,240 --> 01:28:29,240 Speaker 1: You don't have your headphones on.