WEBVTT - Open with "Tell me your perspective" 

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is about a smart tactic for negotiating. Start

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<v Speaker 1>by inviting the other person to tell you their perspective.

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<v Speaker 1>Odds are good that by listening you'll be able to

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<v Speaker 1>see a solution that satisfies everyone. Today's tip comes from

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<v Speaker 1>Allison Carter's book Ask for More. Carter, a Columbia Law

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<v Speaker 1>School professor, is known for her mediation expertise, and this

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<v Speaker 1>book suggests ten questions that can make negotiations more fruitful.

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<v Speaker 1>Many people start negotiations by stating what they want out

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<v Speaker 1>of the deal. It makes sense, but when the other

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<v Speaker 1>person feels attacked or feels that the other party has

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<v Speaker 1>a faulty impression of what happened, it's hard to make progress.

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<v Speaker 1>Carter suggests starting by listening and the opened end question

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<v Speaker 1>tell me your perspective has a lot going for it.

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<v Speaker 1>As Carter writes this, one question invites the other person

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<v Speaker 1>to share with you one their view of the goal

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<v Speaker 1>or problem that's brought you together. Two any important details

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<v Speaker 1>relating to the problem or goal. Three their feelings and concerns,

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<v Speaker 1>and for anything else they feel like adding, she writes

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<v Speaker 1>that it's the negotiation equivalent of casting a giant net

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<v Speaker 1>into the water to see how much you can catch.

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<v Speaker 1>You aren't just sticking a line in for one fish.

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<v Speaker 1>We can envision ways that this would play out. A

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<v Speaker 1>lot of people are working from home now because of

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<v Speaker 1>the coronavirus, but in the past, the ability to work

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<v Speaker 1>from home two days per week was often a huge

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<v Speaker 1>negotiation and any given job. Rather than ask a manager

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<v Speaker 1>and get a blanket, Nope, it will never work, tell

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<v Speaker 1>me your perspective opens up the discussion. Maybe the manager

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<v Speaker 1>got totally burned by someone who could not work in

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<v Speaker 1>a self directed way in the past. Past she missed

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<v Speaker 1>a major deadline because of the person's intransigence and was

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<v Speaker 1>paying the career consequences for a long time. Ouch Asking

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<v Speaker 1>this question helps you see that the manager isn't trying

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<v Speaker 1>to ruin your life. You need to really stress accountability.

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<v Speaker 1>This could mean a trial period of six weeks, daily

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<v Speaker 1>check ins, or letting her issue a policy that only

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<v Speaker 1>highly rated people could expect to try this experiment. In retrospect,

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<v Speaker 1>we can see that all those issues are less consequential

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<v Speaker 1>than people thought. It turns out whole organizations can go

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<v Speaker 1>virtual overnight, but it usually doesn't work to dismiss people's

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<v Speaker 1>concerns in a negotiation. Addressing them means everyone can win.

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<v Speaker 1>This can be good for marital negotiations too. Maybe one

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<v Speaker 1>partner keeps agreeing to calls that are outside of childcare hours.

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<v Speaker 1>Tell me your perspective can open up all kinds of insights.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe the offending party had no idea the other person

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<v Speaker 1>cared because this was never explicitly stated. Maybe the offending

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<v Speaker 1>party assumes that the other party is just so much

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<v Speaker 1>better at time management, or might quit his or her

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<v Speaker 1>job soon, so best not to rock the boat at

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<v Speaker 1>the other job or who knows you don't until you ask.

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<v Speaker 1>So when you're looking at a difficult conversation today, open

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<v Speaker 1>with tell me your perspective. This doesn't guarantee that you'll

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<v Speaker 1>see eye to eye, but you'll find out information that

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<v Speaker 1>will be helpful, and you won't start off from an

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<v Speaker 1>adversarial place. This makes all that follows much easier. In

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<v Speaker 1>the meantime, this is Laura, Thanks for listening, and here's

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<v Speaker 1>to making the most of our time. Hey everybody, I'd

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<v Speaker 1>love to hear from you You can send me your tips,

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<v Speaker 1>your questions, or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook,

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<v Speaker 1>and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod. That's b E the

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<v Speaker 1>number four than break fast p o D. You can

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<v Speaker 1>also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast. At

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<v Speaker 1>i heeart media dot com that before Breakfast is spelled

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<v Speaker 1>out with all the letters. Thanks so much, I look

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<v Speaker 1>forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production

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<v Speaker 1>of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio,

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<v Speaker 1>visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

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<v Speaker 1>you listen to your favorite shows.