Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 1: Today's tip is about a smart tactic for negotiating. Start
Speaker 1: by inviting the other person to tell you their perspective.
Speaker 1: Odds are good that by listening you'll be able to
Speaker 1: see a solution that satisfies everyone. Today's tip comes from
Speaker 1: Allison Carter's book Ask for More. Carter, a Columbia Law
Speaker 1: School professor, is known for her mediation expertise, and this
Speaker 1: book suggests ten questions that can make negotiations more fruitful.
Speaker 1: Many people start negotiations by stating what they want out
Speaker 1: of the deal. It makes sense, but when the other
Speaker 1: person feels attacked or feels that the other party has
Speaker 1: a faulty impression of what happened, it's hard to make progress.
Speaker 1: Carter suggests starting by listening and the opened end question
Speaker 1: tell me your perspective has a lot going for it.
Speaker 1: As Carter writes this, one question invites the other person
Speaker 1: to share with you one their view of the goal
Speaker 1: or problem that's brought you together. Two any important details
Speaker 1: relating to the problem or goal. Three their feelings and concerns,
Speaker 1: and for anything else they feel like adding, she writes
Speaker 1: that it's the negotiation equivalent of casting a giant net
Speaker 1: into the water to see how much you can catch.
Speaker 1: You aren't just sticking a line in for one fish.
Speaker 1: We can envision ways that this would play out. A
Speaker 1: lot of people are working from home now because of
Speaker 1: the coronavirus, but in the past, the ability to work
Speaker 1: from home two days per week was often a huge
Speaker 1: negotiation and any given job. Rather than ask a manager
Speaker 1: and get a blanket, Nope, it will never work, tell
Speaker 1: me your perspective opens up the discussion. Maybe the manager
Speaker 1: got totally burned by someone who could not work in
Speaker 1: a self directed way in the past. Past she missed
Speaker 1: a major deadline because of the person's intransigence and was
Speaker 1: paying the career consequences for a long time. Ouch Asking
Speaker 1: this question helps you see that the manager isn't trying
Speaker 1: to ruin your life. You need to really stress accountability.
Speaker 1: This could mean a trial period of six weeks, daily
Speaker 1: check ins, or letting her issue a policy that only
Speaker 1: highly rated people could expect to try this experiment. In retrospect,
Speaker 1: we can see that all those issues are less consequential
Speaker 1: than people thought. It turns out whole organizations can go
Speaker 1: virtual overnight, but it usually doesn't work to dismiss people's
Speaker 1: concerns in a negotiation. Addressing them means everyone can win.
Speaker 1: This can be good for marital negotiations too. Maybe one
Speaker 1: partner keeps agreeing to calls that are outside of childcare hours.
Speaker 1: Tell me your perspective can open up all kinds of insights.
Speaker 1: Maybe the offending party had no idea the other person
Speaker 1: cared because this was never explicitly stated. Maybe the offending
Speaker 1: party assumes that the other party is just so much
Speaker 1: better at time management, or might quit his or her
Speaker 1: job soon, so best not to rock the boat at
Speaker 1: the other job or who knows you don't until you ask.
Speaker 1: So when you're looking at a difficult conversation today, open
Speaker 1: with tell me your perspective. This doesn't guarantee that you'll
Speaker 1: see eye to eye, but you'll find out information that
Speaker 1: will be helpful, and you won't start off from an
Speaker 1: adversarial place. This makes all that follows much easier. In
Speaker 1: the meantime, this is Laura, Thanks for listening, and here's
Speaker 1: to making the most of our time. Hey everybody, I'd
Speaker 1: love to hear from you You can send me your tips,
Speaker 1: your questions, or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook,
Speaker 1: and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod. That's b E the
Speaker 1: number four than break fast p o D. You can
Speaker 1: also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast. At
Speaker 1: i heeart media dot com that before Breakfast is spelled
Speaker 1: out with all the letters. Thanks so much, I look
Speaker 1: forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production
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