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Speaker 1: Misspelling with Tori Spelling and iHeartRadio Podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hi, my friend, it's been a while, it has How

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Speaker 2: are you. I'm okay.

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Speaker 3: You've both had quite a few life changes.

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Speaker 2: I know. Yeah. Last time we hung out, we were

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Speaker 2: both still married. The irony of that, right, Yeah. And

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Speaker 2: then we both got divorced the same year ish ish Yeah,

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Speaker 2: separated separated. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think mine was final before yours, but separated around

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Speaker 3: the same time.

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Speaker 2: Mine took forever. Oh, we the.

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Speaker 3: Divorce was not the problem, most problem.

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Speaker 2: Many many, many things. Yes. Yeah. So we used to

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Speaker 2: hang out, like mom friend, So we had like our

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Speaker 2: mom group with our kiddos. And I feel like I

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Speaker 2: only met your ex a couple times. I like the parties. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So I know nothing except what I read in the press,

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Speaker 2: even though I know you, which is super weird for me. Well,

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Speaker 2: I don't think it's that weird.

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Speaker 3: You know how the press works and the industry better

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Speaker 3: than a lot of us.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 3: You know, I don't think I have anything new to say.

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Speaker 3: It is absolutely a piece of my life. I would

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Speaker 3: really love to just put behind me. That's what I feel,

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Speaker 3: you know. At the end of the year, my birthday

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Speaker 3: was in November, and with the closing of twenty twenty five,

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Speaker 3: I would like for it to just be done. Bring

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Speaker 3: on a new year, wash me clean, make me new.

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Speaker 3: It can't get worse than what it was, right right,

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Speaker 3: It can only go up from he can only up.

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Speaker 2: Yes, twenty twenty six.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not a New Year's resolution person. I don't

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Speaker 3: know there if you are, no, Yeah, I've never been that, Like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: we're going to go to the gym, we're going to

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Speaker 3: give up sugar, We're going.

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Speaker 2: To do these things.

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Speaker 3: I'm a very realistic human being, but I do think

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Speaker 3: that like twenty twenty six just has to be a

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Speaker 3: better year, not just for myself but for a lot

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Speaker 3: of people.

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Speaker 2: You know, I do know, But I feel cautiously optimistic

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Speaker 2: because I say that every year.

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Speaker 3: We're trying to be glass half full people, Tori glass full.

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Speaker 3: I am not a glass half full. I think that

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Speaker 3: I am a glass half empty person. So I have

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Speaker 3: to work at it every day because the truth is

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Speaker 3: is like, that's the energy what we put out, that's

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Speaker 3: what we're going to receive. And if we are talking

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Speaker 3: about divorces, ex husbands, the tortuous twenty twenty five that

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Speaker 3: I know I've experienced, and that's what we're going to get, right,

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Speaker 3: and I'm putting that out. I want better than that.

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Speaker 3: I want a better life. I want a better life

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Speaker 3: for my children. I want better relationships, I want better friendships.

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Speaker 3: I just want better. I just want better. And if

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Speaker 3: we continue to put out the negative pieces of it,

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Speaker 3: that's what we're going to get.

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Speaker 2: I agree, I agree, But it's all part of our

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Speaker 2: journey and it makes us the humans we are. And

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Speaker 2: then you have your next beautiful second chapter. Can I

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Speaker 2: ask you about your podcast and the date you went on?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so I'm doing a podcast called Famously Available, which

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Speaker 3: I love the name. I know, it's so fun. Everybody's like,

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Speaker 3: what is the podcast? I'm like, well, I have a

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Speaker 3: history on reality television. I come from dating shows. That's

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Speaker 3: what everybody knows me as and you know, when I

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Speaker 3: was ready to start dating again, they're the idea was

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Speaker 3: presented to me to do a podcast surrounding dating. And

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Speaker 3: so it's not just myself. There's two other women on

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Speaker 3: the show, a younger version named Mercedes who is delightful.

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Speaker 2: But younger version.

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Speaker 3: I only say that because we're in three different phases

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Speaker 3: in life. So there's Mercedes, who is you know, she's

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Speaker 3: the bright, gorgeous twenty something who is looking to get

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Speaker 3: married and have babies, and that's her next chapter, right, optimistic, absolutely,

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Speaker 3: And then there's Me, the midlife divorcee who already has kids,

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Speaker 3: who's trying to find myself again in this dating piece,

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Speaker 3: right because I do get a second chapter, maybe a

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Speaker 3: third and fourth.

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Speaker 2: Who knows.

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Speaker 3: And then there's Kathy who was on the Golden Bachelor,

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Speaker 3: so she is in her later stages of life who

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Speaker 3: is looking for a partnership for the rest of her life.

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Speaker 3: And so the podcast is a lot of fun because

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Speaker 3: it's going to follow the three of us who are

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Speaker 3: in very different stages of life but ultimately hoping for

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Speaker 3: the end goal. Each one of us would like to

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Speaker 3: find partnership and compare onionship. And what we have done

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Speaker 3: is invited listeners to join us on the ride and

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Speaker 3: a ride it is on par for your life, on

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Speaker 3: par for my left.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, right, and chaos.

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Speaker 3: It's like the good Lord just knows that I can

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Speaker 3: handle the ups and downs.

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Speaker 2: You know, you can handle it all, but the happy

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Speaker 2: chaos you should be handling. The happy chaos I'll be

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Speaker 2: the future.

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Speaker 3: Or you know, what I really want is I don't

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Speaker 3: think this is considered a roller coaster, but one of

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Speaker 3: those rides that just goes parallel. There's no high highs,

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Speaker 3: there's no low lows. I would just like to be

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Speaker 3: at peace and smooth sailing like that would be really awesome.

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Speaker 2: Would you be bored?

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Speaker 3: Though? No? No, I think I've had enough enough excitement

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Speaker 3: for a lifetime.

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Speaker 2: No, very much. I very much crave.

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Speaker 3: Just consistency and reciprocity and truly just like peace. I

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Speaker 3: very much crave that in my life. You know, I

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Speaker 3: think I've had the very young love where you get

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Speaker 3: all the butterflies and you're like crazy, and you know,

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Speaker 3: you thrive on this person, and then have had the marriage, right,

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Speaker 3: the piece of paper. We had children together, and marriage

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Speaker 3: is a whole other thing.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: I commend people who are able to find a person

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Speaker 3: that they can be with, because I think it's just

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Speaker 3: nuts that you can take two totally different people and

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Speaker 3: expect them to be one.

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Speaker 2: Right, That's what That's what I was taught.

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Speaker 3: Marriage is right, You take two people and you try

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Speaker 3: to become one. You combine your money, you combine your assets,

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Speaker 3: you combine your home, you raise children together. You the

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Speaker 3: children are right, you hope to have the same thoughts

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Speaker 3: the end goals, your thoughts on faith and if it's

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Speaker 3: your Christianity, whatever that looks like. You hope to be

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Speaker 3: parallel on those big things. And then at the end

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Speaker 3: of the day, you hope to really like that person,

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Speaker 3: to get along well, that you are able to communicate

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Speaker 3: with them, that you find joy in life. Hopefully the

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Speaker 3: sex is amazing for some of us, it is. I

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Speaker 3: don't know, but right at the end of the day,

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Speaker 3: everyone's going to experience problems. Can a marriage to people

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Speaker 3: together survive something like that? I think it's really beautiful

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Speaker 3: when people can do that.

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Speaker 2: Yes. I So I met a couple last week and

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Speaker 2: my son and I helped them to the car coming

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Speaker 2: from the grocery store, and we started talking and they said,

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Speaker 2: next month we are celebrating our fifty seventh wedding anniversary.

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Speaker 2: US just recently finalized force. I was like, my brain,

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Speaker 2: I was like, I won't say anything from my son,

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Speaker 2: but I was like, wow, I wanted to be like,

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Speaker 2: what the heck is the secret? But that is it

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Speaker 2: is amazing. I think for me, at least at this point,

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Speaker 2: I don't know if I believe that the person we

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Speaker 2: create children human with is the person we are meant

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Speaker 2: to be with for the rest of our lives, because that,

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Speaker 2: for me was the big component. We didn't know to

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Speaker 2: ask each other like what are your parenting thoughts and

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Speaker 2: how will that work because we didn't have kids together

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Speaker 2: at the time, and then once that came into play,

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Speaker 2: like it just took on a whole different life. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think we're getting back to the basic thing of

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Speaker 3: you take two people, yeah, and expect two individuals with

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Speaker 3: two thoughts, two upbringing two different backgrounds, and expect them

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Speaker 3: to see eye to eye on everything. That's a huge expectation,

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Speaker 3: and we as humans, we tend to put our expectations

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Speaker 3: on other people. I know I do, right, I expect

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Speaker 3: other people to treat me how I want to be

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Speaker 3: treated without saying anything because I know how I would

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Speaker 3: show up for others.

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Speaker 2: That's not the case, Tory, like, that's just not how

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Speaker 2: it happened. It's not.

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Speaker 3: And just because I am very in tune with my

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Speaker 3: feelings and what I expect out of relationships doesn't mean

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Speaker 3: that those around me are and doesn't mean that they're

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Speaker 3: able to communicate that, and so I'm with you. I

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Speaker 3: don't know that I've ever believed that we're supposed to

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Speaker 3: have one great love of our life. I have had,

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Speaker 3: you know, the pleasure of loving a few men in

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Speaker 3: my life.

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Speaker 2: I just have.

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Speaker 3: And I'm really grateful for those experiences and the love

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Speaker 3: and the gratitude that I've taken from each relationship. But

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Speaker 3: you know, my grandparents were together for decades, both sets

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Speaker 3: of my grandparents, but I am a product of divorce.

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Speaker 3: My parents divorced when I was very young, So outside

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Speaker 3: of my grandparents, I don't know that I was ever

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Speaker 3: mirrored a really healthy relationship, like a loving relationship outside

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Speaker 3: of my grandparents. And how do you know how to

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Speaker 3: do that when you haven't been mirrored or taught the behavior?

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Speaker 2: We don't. For me, I just watched brom coms. Like

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Speaker 2: you know, I watched all the movies, thinking, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 2: I get this fairy tale. It's going to be loved

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Speaker 2: first sight and last forever. And I just had nothing.

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Speaker 2: I mean, my parents were stayed married, but I really

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Speaker 2: had nothing to base it on.

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Speaker 3: Right, But even with your parents, was that a healthy,

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Speaker 3: loving relationship?

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Speaker 2: In hindsight? I don't know. I can't give the answer

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Speaker 2: to that. I never heard them argue they seemed loving,

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Speaker 2: but there wasn't a lot of emotional communication with my

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Speaker 2: brother and I about their relationship, and I wish there

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Speaker 2: had been so I knew.

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Speaker 3: What to expect. Yeah, well, so it should be a book. Listen,

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Speaker 3: we have lots of ideas we need to run down.

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Speaker 3: I thought books eight way sideways since getting divorced, because

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Speaker 3: it truly is, like you know, it's a death. I

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Speaker 3: have said that over and over again, and you being divorced,

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Speaker 3: you know this too. It is a true grieving process,

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Speaker 3: and I don't know you know your full experience. But

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Speaker 3: I really rode every wave of that grief. I really

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Speaker 3: wanted to take that closure of that relationship and grieve

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Speaker 3: it and put it to bed. I didn't want those

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Speaker 3: things to resurface later in my life or in another relationship,

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Speaker 3: or worst of all, for my children. I want my

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Speaker 3: children to know what healthy, loving relationships look like. That's

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Speaker 3: what I want for them. I don't want my daughter

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Speaker 3: to grow up seeking the validation of a man who

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Speaker 3: doesn't love her.

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Speaker 2: I don't want that from my daughter, or just seeing

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Speaker 2: the validation of a man period or that or that

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Speaker 2: that's right, right. We raise these girls to be or

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Speaker 2: another human like, yeah.

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Speaker 3: Strong women, And every time she rolls your eyes at me,

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Speaker 3: I'm like, oh wait, not me.

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Speaker 4: You may be.

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Speaker 3: Strong at all other aspects of your life, but with me,

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Speaker 3: you get it, you know.

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Speaker 2: But it's so funny.

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Speaker 3: I said this to someone recently, is like, I mean,

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Speaker 3: I'm a Christian and and you know, there was this

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Speaker 3: piece of my marriage that it was like, oh, well,

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Speaker 3: you're a good Christian woman. You're supposed to be a

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Speaker 3: submissive wife. Well, I'll tell you what, Tori, I don't

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Speaker 3: have a submissive bone in my body. I made arown

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Speaker 3: ass woman. No one has ever taken care of me.

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Speaker 3: I've got a job since I was fourteen years old.

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Speaker 3: I pay my own bills. I put a roof over

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Speaker 3: our kids' heads. I'm not going to be barefoot in

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Speaker 3: the kitchen and doing your dishes like you're some king

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Speaker 3: at the end of the day. That is not the

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Speaker 3: relationship that I want, right, But that's in our kick

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Speaker 3: notion as well. Yeah, but I don't know. Do you

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Speaker 3: date how many men? I said to you, Oh, I'd

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Speaker 3: really love a woman to cook for me. I'm thinking, well,

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Speaker 3: I'm freaking like a man to cook for me. What

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Speaker 3: means I have to be in the kitchen serving you?

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, interesting, I'm not dating, but I like, I

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Speaker 2: don't know, but I that's still in my brain, Like, oh,

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Speaker 2: when I I date someone, I get to cook for someone. Like,

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Speaker 2: you're right, though, he should cook for me.

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Speaker 3: I listen, I bring a lot to the table. I

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Speaker 3: love to cook. I don't mind cooking for someone for me.

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Speaker 3: It's a fine line between the expectation of the given

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Speaker 3: roles that people think we need to play in a

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Speaker 3: relationship and I think you're right this day and age,

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Speaker 3: those are roles that someone else has made up for

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Speaker 3: us that we carry into relationships.

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Speaker 2: Right by all means, if.

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Speaker 3: I meet a man and he wants to take care

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Speaker 3: of me and scoot me off to Cabo and stay

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Speaker 3: at the Four Seasons for five days, yeah, and let

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Speaker 3: me just hang out at home with my kids. Sure,

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Speaker 3: I'll cook you dinner every night. You want to play

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Speaker 3: those roles, absolutely absolutely. I don't really want that. But

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Speaker 3: I'm just saying we can't have these unbalanced expectations walking

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Speaker 3: into a relationship. I'm in a place in my life

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Speaker 3: and I have dated a little bit. I did go

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Speaker 3: on a date on the podcast, which was a lot

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Speaker 3: of fun. But it's just a unique situation. And again

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Speaker 3: I come from reality television, where my history is in dating.

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Speaker 3: So the guy was very normal, tory, like he had

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Speaker 3: a normal job, and he was divorced, and I don't

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Speaker 3: think he quite knew what to expect because you know,

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Speaker 3: there's also like there was other people there. There were

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Speaker 3: other celebrities there. We were at a Jonas Brothers concert,

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Speaker 3: you know what I mean. It wasn't necessarily a romantic situation.

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Speaker 3: But what I was hoping from the situation is if

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Speaker 3: we connected and liked each other enough, he would ask

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Speaker 3: for my phone number, we could see if there was

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Speaker 3: something there and go out on a second date. But

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Speaker 3: if you have agreed to show up on a podcast

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Speaker 3: to date someone like me, you know, chances are he's

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Speaker 3: read the headlines, he's googled me, he knows.

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Speaker 2: Who I am.

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Speaker 3: There is a piece where you know what you're signing

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Speaker 3: up for because it's a podcast. That's how we're meeting.

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Speaker 3: Let's see if we connect and we can go on

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Speaker 3: to something else. He was a super nice guy.

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Speaker 2: He showed up. It was a fun date.

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Speaker 3: We had great conversation. Oh he's nothing nothing, No, No,

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Speaker 3: I found him a try.

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Speaker 2: But he never asked for my phone number. What do

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Speaker 2: you mean? I know, I know. I don't know if

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Speaker 2: I was given off vibes that I never am Oh

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Speaker 2: he never did.

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Speaker 3: Know what. Actually, his friends that he came to the

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Speaker 3: concert with, they were more interested in me in me

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Speaker 3: than he was.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's okay.

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Speaker 3: I dating in general, I feel like as a science experiment,

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Speaker 3: you know what, I mean to have to sit down.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to go back to It is.

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Speaker 3: Kind of exhausted. It is kind of exhausting. Is I

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Speaker 3: go through phases?

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Speaker 2: You know?

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Speaker 3: Last week was Thanksgiving and my kids were with their

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Speaker 3: dad for the week, and I go through phases of

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Speaker 3: where I'm like, oh yeah, I absolutely want a relationship

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Speaker 3: someone that I can invest in and spend time with.

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Speaker 2: No. No.

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Speaker 3: All last week I was super happy just being here

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Speaker 3: alone in my home that I pay for, watching TV,

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Speaker 3: that I also pay for whatever I want, cooking what

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Speaker 3: I want for dinner, and not having to take care

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Speaker 3: of anyone else. And I think that, but tell me

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Speaker 3: if I'm wrong. As a single mother, our time is

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Speaker 3: so limited, you know, and what I'm not going to

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Speaker 3: do is give up time with my children to go

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Speaker 3: on a date with another man. That's not the phase

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Speaker 3: of life, right I am in and that's not That's

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Speaker 3: not what is important to me. So in the time

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Speaker 3: that I do have where I don't have my kids

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Speaker 3: and I am available to date, it's got to be

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Speaker 3: something really great, like that's how I feel. And if

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Speaker 3: it's not something really great and I can't move into

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Speaker 3: a romantic part in a friendship, I'm not going to

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Speaker 3: invest in it like I want to be blown away.

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Speaker 5: I'm Kristin Davis, host of the podcast Are You a Charlotte?

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Speaker 5: The most anticipated guest from season three is here the

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Speaker 5: Tray to My Charlotte. Kyle McLachlin joins me to relive

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Speaker 5: all of the magical Tray in Charlotte moments. He reveals

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Speaker 5: what he thinks of Trey giving Charlotte a cardboard baby.

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Speaker 2: Why would I bring her a cardboard baby? I was

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Speaker 2: literally I was like, this doesn't track for me at all.

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Speaker 5: When he found out Tray's shortcomings, I'm kind of.

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Speaker 2: Excited to talking about it. You know, I think he's

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Speaker 2: he's a guy spends time in Central Park. You know,

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Speaker 2: he's probably you don't know, it'll be some surgery stuff,

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Speaker 2: you know.

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Speaker 6: And I was like all this.

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Speaker 2: Kind of stuff going on, and they were like yeah, yeah, yeah, funk.

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Speaker 2: And they said, but he's impotent, and I was like, he's.

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Speaker 5: Impotent, and why he chose not to return to inges

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Speaker 5: like that?

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Speaker 2: They came and presented an idea and I was like,

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Speaker 2: I get I see it. It's so kind of a

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Speaker 2: one joke idea.

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Speaker 5: You don't want to miss this.

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Speaker 2: Listen to.

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Speaker 5: Are you a Charlotte on the iHeartRadio app? Apple podcasts

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Speaker 5: or wherever you get your podcasts?

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Speaker 2: Have you been on a dating app?

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Speaker 3: I have been on a dating app. I don't know

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Speaker 3: if you have done it. It's not a good look.

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Speaker 3: Well it's not a good look if you want to

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Speaker 3: get together with your girlfriends. Have wine, don't have wine,

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Speaker 3: I don't care what have you. But just get on

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Speaker 3: it for fun and see what it is. Oh.

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Speaker 2: I used to go on my friends, my single friends

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Speaker 2: all the time. I was obsessed because I was like,

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Speaker 2: this didn't exist when I was single, but now that

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Speaker 2: is single, Like all they.

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Speaker 3: Want to do is send you pictures of their penis what.

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Speaker 3: It's very terrifying, they're not attractive.

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Speaker 1: I don't.

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Speaker 2: Yeh, I'm not terrifying. It's so funny. Women don't want

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Speaker 2: to see that, Like, I don't know how many times

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Speaker 2: we can tell them no, is this not true? I

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Speaker 2: don't want to see a dick pic. I also am like,

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Speaker 2: is it just young?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 3: Was it just the time period that we're in where

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Speaker 3: everyone lives on their phones and social media? Like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: you talk to someone for a week and then it's like, oh,

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Speaker 3: send me a dirty picture. I'm just not that girl.

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Speaker 3: I'm not that girl. Okay, a, I'm not that trusting. Okay,

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Speaker 3: b I've been on television. You can google my name.

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Speaker 3: The last thing I need is for you to submit

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Speaker 3: a photo online of my boobs.

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Speaker 2: They still look great.

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Speaker 3: I've breastfed two children, but I just don't want that life,

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Speaker 3: and I don't want it in return. I still believe

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Speaker 3: that there is some some concept to relationships that you

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Speaker 3: get to know somebody before jumping in the sack. I

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Speaker 3: don't know if I was just.

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Speaker 2: In it jumping in the sack, I like that.

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Speaker 3: Well, if I was just I'd not like it pleased, Okay,

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Speaker 3: then let's get down. But if I'm in it to

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Speaker 3: really be in a relationship and get to know someone.

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Speaker 3: If I'm in it to be in a relationship and

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Speaker 3: really get to know someone, I'm not jumping. I'm not

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Speaker 3: jumping into sex with somebody. That's that's not the best

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Speaker 3: way to get to know someone truly, you know what

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Speaker 3: I mean?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I would never want someone to send me some

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Speaker 2: picture of themselves there or at the gym with their

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Speaker 2: shirt like I know.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I have an ick itself and you're on

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Speaker 3: social media, and I don't know if you know this,

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Speaker 3: but I have an ick itself and like men who

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Speaker 3: don't do social media and like post life like thirst

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Speaker 3: traps or if it creels like oh in the life

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Speaker 3: while I make my coffee, I don't.

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Speaker 2: I don't know why men. I did not want to

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Speaker 2: date someone like that.

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Speaker 3: No, I don't want to date an influencer, Like we

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Speaker 3: don't want that.

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Speaker 2: Life interesting because we and our world kind of have

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Speaker 2: to do a version of that on some level, but

401
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:25,199
Speaker 2: we don't want But that's very like what's sexist of

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Speaker 2: us that we think a man can't do it? Then

403
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Speaker 2: I know I don't want to see that. I don't.

404
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:31,680
Speaker 2: I don't.

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Speaker 3: It's just not the kind of kind of vibe I want.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. You haven't even tried to date once

407
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:46,879
Speaker 2: once didn't go well, it's still TBD. But I don't know.

408
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Speaker 2: I don't know what I believe in anymore. It's so

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Speaker 2: and it's so exhausting with the kids. So the kids

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Speaker 2: live with me and they see their dad, but they

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Speaker 2: live with me. So I don't get like that week

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Speaker 2: or week in offer. So I don't know. I can't

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Speaker 2: picture like actively going on dates with someone if they

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Speaker 2: didn't know them, or I'm sure I will. No one

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Speaker 2: asked me out, to be honest, no one asks me

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Speaker 2: out either. Everybody's like, oh.

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Speaker 3: My gosh, Like what about when you're in the grocery store.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, no one looks at me. I'm the one

419
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Speaker 3: like ethne asparagus making eye contact with every que guy

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Speaker 3: that walks by. I'm like, Hi, they don't, they don't,

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Speaker 3: they don't. I don't know if I'm intimidating. I don't

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00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,959
Speaker 3: know if grown men just don't do that anymore, but

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Speaker 3: they don't. I don't get approached like out out in

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Speaker 3: the wild.

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Speaker 2: Or or is it just we're not used to it,

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Speaker 2: so we don't because we weren't paying attention when we

427
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Speaker 2: were married, because we were good girls. So like, maybe

428
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:50,080
Speaker 2: now we don't notice it. You're like, nope, nope, I

429
00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:53,560
Speaker 2: don't get it either, So I don't know we're attractive women.

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Speaker 2: I don't understand that. I think the.

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Speaker 3: Truth is is if we knew the reason why you

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Speaker 3: and I wouldn't be sitting here right now, just two.

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Speaker 2: Of us, just.

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Speaker 3: Single and living our best lives. Maybe you know, I

435
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:07,520
Speaker 3: think that's I think that is probably part of it.

436
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:11,000
Speaker 3: Toy is like, I don't know when I'm in a relationship.

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00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,680
Speaker 3: I'm in a relationship and I am loyal to a

438
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Speaker 3: fault to myself.

439
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:15,160
Speaker 2: So you're right.

440
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:18,040
Speaker 3: When I was with my ex husband for fifteen years,

441
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:20,800
Speaker 3: I never had a wandering eye. I am loyal to

442
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:24,440
Speaker 3: a fault to myself. I did not flirt, I did

443
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:28,880
Speaker 3: not look around. I didn't even appreciate other good looking men.

444
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,920
Speaker 3: That's just not who I am. And so I think

445
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:35,199
Speaker 3: there is also a piece that fifteen years is a

446
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,800
Speaker 3: long time, right, fifteen.

447
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:39,760
Speaker 2: Years you were with your ex. I was with mine

448
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 2: eighteen years were married. That's a long time. Yeah, that's

449
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 2: a long time. Four minute years.

450
00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:49,399
Speaker 3: People who say, oh, well, don't be jaded. That's so

451
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:53,400
Speaker 3: much easier said said than done. Divorce is one of

452
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:56,960
Speaker 3: the most traumatic things that I've ever gone through. I

453
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,760
Speaker 3: don't know if that was the same situation for you.

454
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:03,919
Speaker 2: The actual divorce, no, but the process, the whole thing,

455
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,040
Speaker 2: the actually yes, yes.

456
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,439
Speaker 3: The beginning to end right. I don't love you, I

457
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:11,360
Speaker 3: don't want to be with you. Then the tortuous cycle

458
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:14,600
Speaker 3: of we get along, we don't get along, separating our kids,

459
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:17,920
Speaker 3: separating our assets, moving out, staying together, not staying together,

460
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:20,240
Speaker 3: finding a new place, making sure your children are okay,

461
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,679
Speaker 3: making sure they're happy. Then you do get divorced, Then

462
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:24,960
Speaker 3: you fight, Apparently somebody goes to jail. There's a whole

463
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:28,280
Speaker 3: long list of things that take place. For me, the

464
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 3: entire situation was traumatic. So to look at someone who

465
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:35,639
Speaker 3: has been in our position and say, oh, don't be jaded,

466
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 3: don't say that. You haven't walked a day in my shoes.

467
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:42,359
Speaker 3: You don't know what I carry every single day. And

468
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,720
Speaker 3: a lot of that is just hoping my children turn

469
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:45,560
Speaker 3: out okay.

470
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:47,080
Speaker 2: I want them to be okay.

471
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:50,080
Speaker 3: I want them to come out of this as unscathed

472
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:51,119
Speaker 3: as they can.

473
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:52,160
Speaker 2: You know what I mean?

474
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:54,800
Speaker 3: I want them to still believe in love. I want

475
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 3: them to not carry the weight of unhealth that has

476
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 3: taken place between me and my ex husband. I want

477
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 3: them to love me and I want them to love

478
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:05,240
Speaker 3: their daddy, and that's what they deserve. And that's a

479
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:06,640
Speaker 3: lot to carry. I lay my head down.

480
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:08,760
Speaker 2: Thanks.

481
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,680
Speaker 3: Thanks, I've said it from the get go, even after

482
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:17,800
Speaker 3: everything that's taken place, It's amazing to me that you

483
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:22,239
Speaker 3: can love someone and marry them and have children and

484
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,879
Speaker 3: get divorced and think I don't fucking know who that

485
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 3: person is anymore. I don't get how the mind and

486
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:33,720
Speaker 3: the heart does that. You can love someone so much

487
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 3: that you literally drive yourself crazy through a separation and

488
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 3: a divorce and then have nothing for them. I don't

489
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:45,720
Speaker 3: think that's everybody's experience, but it's been mine. But that's

490
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:48,480
Speaker 3: also called trauma post traumatic stress syndrome.

491
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:53,600
Speaker 2: So that's the whole other thing. Yeah. Now, if you

492
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 2: knew from the beginning that this would be the journey,

493
00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 2: you would still do it, though, right because you got

494
00:24:58,840 --> 00:24:59,360
Speaker 2: your babies.

495
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:02,960
Speaker 3: Absolutely, because I have my children, and you said something

496
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,160
Speaker 3: in the beginning that I believe is true. We each

497
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:08,639
Speaker 3: have a path to read like yours is different from mine.

498
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:09,480
Speaker 2: I have one.

499
00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:12,960
Speaker 3: But we also get to make choice, and I think

500
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:16,040
Speaker 3: that that's where pain comes from. There is a path

501
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:18,920
Speaker 3: that each of us are designed for that is right

502
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 3: for us, for our lives, and it's something really really

503
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:24,399
Speaker 3: great whatever it is right, but we also get the

504
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:28,920
Speaker 3: choice to make decisions, and sometimes when we get off

505
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:35,560
Speaker 3: the path, that's where pain comes from. Pain builds character, right, resilience.

506
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:38,840
Speaker 3: All of my girlfriends for my birthday, they are like,

507
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, you know when they're saying things about me,

508
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:43,360
Speaker 3: You're so resilient, You're so resilient, You're so resilient, you're

509
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:43,920
Speaker 3: so strong.

510
00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:45,040
Speaker 2: Well, i'll tell you what.

511
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:48,400
Speaker 3: I am exhausted from being strong and resilient. I am

512
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:51,200
Speaker 3: tired of coming out of things and being like, wow,

513
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:54,680
Speaker 3: look how resilient I am. I survived that too. I'm

514
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:56,960
Speaker 3: tired of that. I don't want to do that anymore.

515
00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 2: That is such a valid point.

516
00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:01,000
Speaker 3: It is That's why I say to you, I don't

517
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:02,960
Speaker 3: want the cop but the chaos anymore, of the ups

518
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 3: and the downs. I do want to just coast at

519
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:07,479
Speaker 3: a level speed and I want peace in my life.

520
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,080
Speaker 3: I'm tired of having to survive. I don't want to

521
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:11,800
Speaker 3: do that. I'm only forty four. I don't want to

522
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:15,760
Speaker 3: have to do that for another seventy years, sixty even

523
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:16,720
Speaker 3: that's maybe fifty.

524
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. He got a good fifty eight

525
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 2: at least at.

526
00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:28,720
Speaker 3: Least because you're a fighter, lucky lucky lucky me.

527
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:34,600
Speaker 2: I don't know, do you right? Oh? Yeah? But do

528
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 2: you everyone get said husband along? Do you get that's real?

529
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:45,560
Speaker 2: It's as though, and I yeah, good, I'm glad to

530
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:52,479
Speaker 2: hear that. I think it was realizing that he is

531
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:57,560
Speaker 2: who he is and he's changed a lot, and that's

532
00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:00,600
Speaker 2: great for the kids and for our relationship. And he's

533
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:04,679
Speaker 2: sober now. But you know, he's still the person he is.

534
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:07,919
Speaker 2: I'm still the person I am, and we're two very

535
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 2: different people. And you're right, yeah, I'm not the same

536
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:15,200
Speaker 2: person I was when I met and fell in love

537
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 2: with him, and I think I was I thirty one,

538
00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:22,040
Speaker 2: thirty two. It's just yeah, But I couldn't have predicted

539
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:26,920
Speaker 2: the person I would evolve and become, and there was

540
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:30,040
Speaker 2: a yeah, there was nothing that could have predicted that.

541
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:32,240
Speaker 2: But I wouldn't change anything because I got my five

542
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:39,000
Speaker 2: beautiful babies. Yeah, for my journey. I think my path

543
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:43,000
Speaker 2: I always walked the line of when to leave, when

544
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:46,240
Speaker 2: was the right time for us to split? And that's

545
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 2: a hard thing and I do grapple with that sometimes,

546
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:52,040
Speaker 2: Like would have been better for the kids if we

547
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:56,720
Speaker 2: had split sooner? I don't know, but I.

548
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:58,639
Speaker 3: Don't think you can put a timeline on that, you know,

549
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:02,480
Speaker 3: I do believe that. I hate the stupid saying everything

550
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,640
Speaker 3: happens for a reason. No it doesn't, No, it doesn't.

551
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:10,159
Speaker 3: I've seen enough mediums. I think if I am lucky

552
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,640
Speaker 3: enough at some point to tap truly into my intuition,

553
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:16,360
Speaker 3: I could probably save myself a lot of pain and heartache.

554
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 2: But we all could. Yeah, right.

555
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:21,800
Speaker 3: I think that we are given free will to make

556
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:25,320
Speaker 3: decisions in our life, and it's so hard. I don't

557
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 3: live my life with regret. I really try hard not

558
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:31,159
Speaker 3: to do that, but it is really hard not to

559
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 3: look back and think if you could have done this differently,

560
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:36,239
Speaker 3: or had you stayed together a little bit longer, had

561
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,080
Speaker 3: you broken up a little bit earlier, you know, because

562
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 3: I remember when when the kids and I moved into

563
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 3: our new place, and you know, it's really worried about them. Hey,

564
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 3: you guys, okay, because we you know, how do you feel?

565
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 3: And my youngest, who I thought didn't remember a lot,

566
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 3: looked at me and he said, I'm so happy. I'm

567
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 3: just going I don't have to listen to you and

568
00:28:54,800 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 3: daddy fight anymore. And I was like, Gus, And that

569
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:03,960
Speaker 3: was a gut check for me, because we thought we

570
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 3: did a great job of hiding it for the sake

571
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 3: of our kids. We thought we did a good job,

572
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:11,480
Speaker 3: you know. And for my youngest to say that to me,

573
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:15,040
Speaker 3: I was like, Oh, they deserve more. I deserve more.

574
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:17,840
Speaker 3: But they deserve more. They don't deserve to grow up

575
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 3: in a home like that, you know, they deserve to

576
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:23,960
Speaker 3: see you know, both their mommy and their daddy happy

577
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:27,920
Speaker 3: and loved and thriving in life. That's what they deserve. So,

578
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 3: you know, I think life is about refinement tory. That's

579
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:34,480
Speaker 3: what I think. That's what I think. We can't go

580
00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:38,320
Speaker 3: back and live in the past and think what we

581
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 3: could have done differently, how we could have loved differently,

582
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 3: and the choices that we could have made. That does

583
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 3: us no good. For me in particular, that sends me

584
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 3: into pure anxiety. I can't even I can't even go there.

585
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 3: But I believe that life and relationships. I do believe

586
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:57,719
Speaker 3: as people we are designed for companionship and partnership.

587
00:29:57,880 --> 00:29:59,840
Speaker 2: I really do. I think that's just.

588
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:01,720
Speaker 6: Yeah.

589
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:05,120
Speaker 3: We're born to love and to want to be loved.

590
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 3: We are born to do that. I just think that

591
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:10,040
Speaker 3: that is what we crave most at the end of

592
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 3: the day. Someone to love us, but not just love us,

593
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,640
Speaker 3: but love us fully and holy as we were made

594
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:16,720
Speaker 3: good and bad.

595
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 2: You know what I mean. We're all human.

596
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 3: There's things that tell me when you find somebody that

597
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,360
Speaker 3: you love every last thing about them, let me know.

598
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 3: I'll be here waiting. Okay, it doesn't exist, doesn't exist,

599
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:29,840
Speaker 3: but it's.

600
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:33,280
Speaker 2: What you'll tolerate at different points for your life, probably exactly.

601
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:38,200
Speaker 2: And when you start picking someone else apart, it says

602
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 2: more about you than it does them. This is true. Hey,

603
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:46,960
Speaker 2: it's Wilfred Ell and Sabrina Bryan.

604
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 6: From the podcast Magical Rewind and we have a very

605
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,800
Speaker 6: special guest on this week's episode. He's the mastermind behind

606
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 6: some of your favorite movies like Hocus Pocus, Newsies, The Descendants,

607
00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:58,440
Speaker 6: and of course High School Musical.

608
00:30:58,640 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 2: Yes, it is the one.

609
00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:03,280
Speaker 6: And only a living legend. Director Kenny or Tega.

610
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 4: We sit down with Kenny to talk about his incredible

611
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:09,160
Speaker 4: career and the legacy he's created with his choreography and films.

612
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 6: You seriously will not want to miss this one.

613
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 4: Listen to Magical Rewind on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts,

614
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:16,560
Speaker 4: or wherever you get your podcasts.

615
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:20,520
Speaker 1: Hi, it's Jenny Garth, host of the I Choose Me podcast.

616
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:24,400
Speaker 1: This week, I'm so excited to welcome my friend Gabrielle

617
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:28,160
Speaker 1: carteris the Andrea Zuckerman from Beverly Hills nine o two

618
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 1: on OZHO to the pod.

619
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:32,680
Speaker 2: We're choosing to get real. I applied to the networks

620
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 2: about my age and contracts. They never would have hired

621
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 2: me if they had known my age. We're choosing to

622
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 2: be honest.

623
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:40,240
Speaker 5: She looked at me, and she said, this business is

624
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:42,320
Speaker 5: about than ask, which you have neither of, and.

625
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 2: We're choosing to get nostalgic.

626
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 1: Listen to I Choose Me on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

627
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:49,960
Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts.

628
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:55,560
Speaker 2: Do you feel like you want to date someone or

629
00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:57,920
Speaker 2: be with somebody that already has kids.

630
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:01,520
Speaker 3: I think that that would be beneficial. It's not a

631
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:05,200
Speaker 3: deal breaker for me and just Like I've explained on

632
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:07,240
Speaker 3: the podcast over and over again, it's not a deal

633
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 3: breaker for me. My kids don't need a stepdaddy. They

634
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 3: have a dad that they love very much. If I

635
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:14,960
Speaker 3: end up with someone, I hope that they're really great

636
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,360
Speaker 3: and they become a really good friend to my kids

637
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:20,400
Speaker 3: and they show my kids an example of what a

638
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:24,040
Speaker 3: really loving, healthy relationship looks like. I think how special

639
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:25,720
Speaker 3: it would be for them to see their mommy loved

640
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:29,600
Speaker 3: well like that would be really awesome. But it's not

641
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:32,320
Speaker 3: a deal breaker for me. I think it would help Tori,

642
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 3: and you know this because you have five kids for

643
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:38,520
Speaker 3: someone who has kids and understands. So I've actually dated

644
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:42,040
Speaker 3: on both spectrums. Okay, I've dated someone doesn't have kids

645
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:47,880
Speaker 3: and who is younger, like how much younger? Like twelve

646
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 3: years nice? Yeah, okay, I went through a little phase

647
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:55,240
Speaker 3: when I got to four for you, so yeah, yeah,

648
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 3: it was It was great and I really liked this guy.

649
00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:00,320
Speaker 3: We had a lot in common, but he I'd never

650
00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:02,400
Speaker 3: been married, and he had never had kids, and that

651
00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:05,959
Speaker 3: was still something that he desired. And something that I

652
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 3: pride myself on is that I'm really really honest. I

653
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:11,479
Speaker 3: don't cut the shit like, hey, if we can make

654
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:14,480
Speaker 3: it work, great, But like I was very honest from

655
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 3: the get go, like I cannot give you children.

656
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:19,040
Speaker 2: That is not something that I want. I have done that.

657
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,640
Speaker 3: I have two wonderful children that I love and I

658
00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 3: feel whole and complete there. I do not want more children.

659
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 3: That is a hard pass for me.

660
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,320
Speaker 2: I also tory.

661
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 3: I don't think I ever want to be married again.

662
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,560
Speaker 3: That is not important to me. I don't need the

663
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:36,000
Speaker 3: piece of paper. I don't need the government to say, oh,

664
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 3: look at you, now you're a union. I don't need that.

665
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 3: I believe in partnership, believe in companionship just like I

666
00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 3: told you, and I am loyal to a fault. I

667
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:47,360
Speaker 3: can have someone and we can play house and we

668
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:49,480
Speaker 3: can do the diamonds and the bands or whatever. But

669
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,240
Speaker 3: I don't need the wedding anymore. I don't need the

670
00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:54,680
Speaker 3: piece of paper for me to say I'm yours. That's

671
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:57,120
Speaker 3: not important. If I were to meet somebody and it

672
00:33:57,200 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 3: was really important to them, then it is something that

673
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:01,560
Speaker 3: I would consider. But I would not say that's on

674
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 3: the top of my list. So I have also dated

675
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:08,799
Speaker 3: guys who have kids, and I will say it just

676
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:13,520
Speaker 3: flowed a little bit easier because they get it. They

677
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:15,880
Speaker 3: freaking get it when I call on a Wednesday night

678
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:17,720
Speaker 3: and I'm like, hey, I have to cancel.

679
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:18,560
Speaker 2: My kids need me.

680
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:22,919
Speaker 3: A man who has children understands that a man who

681
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:27,520
Speaker 3: does not have children will never understand the bond between

682
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:30,240
Speaker 3: a mother and their children. I will give up everything

683
00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 3: for my children, everything, and I have done so. So

684
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:37,160
Speaker 3: if that's not plainly to see, that's who I am.

685
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:37,600
Speaker 2: And so.

686
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:41,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think it just like I was a

687
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:44,280
Speaker 3: blended family and there can be a lot of beauty

688
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:44,560
Speaker 3: in that.

689
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:46,719
Speaker 2: So it's not a deal breaker for me, toy.

690
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 3: But like I could do it, it would work out well, right,

691
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:53,239
Speaker 3: I don't know, you more kids?

692
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:56,080
Speaker 2: Right? We go five? I can't, but I guess at

693
00:34:56,080 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 2: this point, right, I know, I do like even numbers.

694
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:07,400
Speaker 2: But no, it's not a deal breaker. But yeah, I

695
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 2: think someone who is a parent and just knows that

696
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:15,280
Speaker 2: experience would be a lot easier. Yeah.

697
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:17,719
Speaker 3: I used to say too, and I've said this on

698
00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 3: Famously Available.

699
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:20,360
Speaker 2: They're like, oh, when will you know?

700
00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:24,600
Speaker 3: People asked me about being on the Bachelor and the

701
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:26,759
Speaker 3: Bachelorette all the time, like how did you like all

702
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:27,000
Speaker 3: of them?

703
00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:28,759
Speaker 2: There's so many guys. How did you pick?

704
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:31,440
Speaker 3: And I'm like, it's like walking into a bar and

705
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:34,520
Speaker 3: seeing in twenty five hot guys because in their own right,

706
00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 3: they're all very good looking. Seeing twenty five guys and

707
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:40,040
Speaker 3: you don't want to talk to all of them, Right, Tori,

708
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:42,279
Speaker 3: you've been to a bar, You've got to parties. You

709
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 3: can get around and be like, Okay, there's probably two

710
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:47,000
Speaker 3: or three in here that I would spend time actually

711
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:50,359
Speaker 3: trying to connect with. That's what it's like. And it's

712
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:52,440
Speaker 3: the same thing going on a podcast because all of

713
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:54,200
Speaker 3: my girlfriends when when I said I was going to

714
00:35:54,239 --> 00:35:56,279
Speaker 3: do this again, they were like, are you nuts? The

715
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:58,319
Speaker 3: first two goes wasn't enough for you?

716
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:00,480
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I don't know.

717
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:04,640
Speaker 3: I think like, because I have to think outside of

718
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 3: the box. Because people know me from reality television, it

719
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:11,520
Speaker 3: doesn't feel any different to me to put this part

720
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:14,240
Speaker 3: of my life out there and do it with people

721
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:17,359
Speaker 3: listening or people watching like that doesn't I also think,

722
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:20,320
Speaker 3: what a unique way to meet someone if it's somebody

723
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 3: who really wants to get to know me. Because right

724
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:25,279
Speaker 3: Famously Available has made it very clear that I'm on

725
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:27,879
Speaker 3: the podcast. Mercedes and Kathy that we're all on there.

726
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:29,000
Speaker 3: If you want to date us.

727
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:31,680
Speaker 2: Hey, reach out, like, they'll send us on a date,

728
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:34,880
Speaker 2: they'll arrange it. We can see literally how it works.

729
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:38,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, or or the producers know somebody really great they

730
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:39,360
Speaker 3: line them up for me.

731
00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:42,720
Speaker 2: So it's just always like, wait, who's not proofing these people?

732
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:43,600
Speaker 2: But who's who's Like.

733
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:46,520
Speaker 1: It is.

734
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:51,479
Speaker 3: A little more rogue than The Bachelor, it's a little

735
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:52,920
Speaker 3: bit more rogue than that.

736
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:55,560
Speaker 2: But do you feel like, on some level though, you're

737
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 2: more open to it because it's part of work and

738
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:03,000
Speaker 2: you're a working single mom, Like, so you're going to date,

739
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:04,920
Speaker 2: but you're going to do this on your podcast. So

740
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:09,239
Speaker 2: I don't know, for me, it would feel more like

741
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:12,839
Speaker 2: I'll do that because it's work, you know. Okay, I'll

742
00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:13,279
Speaker 2: tell you this.

743
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:15,040
Speaker 3: This is where I struggled on the first date that

744
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:17,960
Speaker 3: they sent me on, because you know, we.

745
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:20,560
Speaker 2: Had talked about it beforehand.

746
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 3: We had recorded a few podcasts and then I did

747
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:25,560
Speaker 3: some social media too, talking about it like, oh my gosh,

748
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:27,240
Speaker 3: I'm going on the first date. Help me pick an outfit.

749
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:28,680
Speaker 3: What if he doesn't like me? What if he does

750
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 3: all the things right?

751
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:34,239
Speaker 2: Right? I felt really good about it.

752
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:36,800
Speaker 3: Going into it, and then when we showed up, I

753
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:40,280
Speaker 3: was not expecting the pressure that I felt, because leading

754
00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:42,680
Speaker 3: up to that it felt like a job. I was

755
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 3: recording a podcast with Ben, we were talking about being available.

756
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:49,480
Speaker 2: It was all of these things.

757
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:52,680
Speaker 3: And then when I showed up, I underestimated the pressure

758
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 3: that I would feel because a very normal man who

759
00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:57,160
Speaker 3: is not in my industry showed up to go on

760
00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:59,600
Speaker 3: a date with me that night. So when I said

761
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:01,279
Speaker 3: that to your earlier, the first date we went to

762
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:05,680
Speaker 3: a Jonas Brothers concert. But I think he also underestimated

763
00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:07,440
Speaker 3: what the date was going to be. You're used to

764
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:10,359
Speaker 3: a typical date where you meet somebody or they pick

765
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:11,960
Speaker 3: you up, and you go to dinner and you talk

766
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:13,439
Speaker 3: for a couple of hours and you see if there's

767
00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:14,120
Speaker 3: any chemistry.

768
00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:16,880
Speaker 7: That was not our first date. So I think that

769
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:23,120
Speaker 7: sounds horrible, but it was like, I think I'd rather

770
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:26,200
Speaker 7: be in your situation, like at a concert. And just

771
00:38:26,239 --> 00:38:28,160
Speaker 7: because I'm not used to dating after all these.

772
00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:30,279
Speaker 3: Years, absolutely, and that's why I think it's fun and

773
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 3: outside of the box. Yeah, okay, don't don't take me

774
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:34,520
Speaker 3: to dinner, Like we don't have to go to dinner.

775
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:35,919
Speaker 2: Let's go, let's go hiking.

776
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:37,560
Speaker 3: Let's go to a comedy show. Like, let's go on

777
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:39,800
Speaker 3: baseball game. I freaking love baseball.

778
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:40,399
Speaker 2: Like let's do.

779
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:42,560
Speaker 3: Something, let's go roller skating. I don't care, but like,

780
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 3: it doesn't have to be the typical date. I loved

781
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,600
Speaker 3: going to the Jonas Brothers concert. I thought that was

782
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,640
Speaker 3: a lot of fun. It was kind of loud in there,

783
00:38:51,719 --> 00:38:54,040
Speaker 3: so he was like, I don't know, do you want

784
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 3: to go sit outside and talk?

785
00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:59,120
Speaker 2: And I was like, no, no, Actually, I don't.

786
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:01,279
Speaker 3: Like we're here the brothers, We're in a suite, we

787
00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 3: have the best seats in the house. Yeah, no, I'd

788
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:05,600
Speaker 3: kind of like to see the Jonas Brothers. But you know,

789
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:07,759
Speaker 3: we can hang out and you know, there's a whole

790
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 3: thing where like he drank, I don't drink anymore. And

791
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,799
Speaker 3: uh so I think either way it wasn't ever going

792
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:17,920
Speaker 3: to work out. But I think it was hard because

793
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:20,560
Speaker 3: he is not used to that piece of the industry.

794
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:23,279
Speaker 3: So I'm also asking a lot of someone who's going

795
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:26,399
Speaker 3: to come on to the podcast. I am a personality.

796
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:28,560
Speaker 3: I am doing this and it's very real to me.

797
00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:31,600
Speaker 3: But just what you said, Tori, it's also a job.

798
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:35,960
Speaker 3: I'm also doing a job. I'm doing a podcast famously Available.

799
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:38,920
Speaker 3: We do this, we record, I'm putting my life out there.

800
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:40,480
Speaker 3: It is a date and it is very real to me,

801
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:43,240
Speaker 3: and I hope that I'd be really cool if something

802
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:45,560
Speaker 3: really great comes out of it. But also, at the

803
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:48,120
Speaker 3: end of the day, it's a job, right, and so

804
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:50,439
Speaker 3: I am asking a lot of a man to come

805
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:54,640
Speaker 3: on date me and then also let me blast him

806
00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:55,480
Speaker 3: on a bottle.

807
00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:58,560
Speaker 2: I got I nervous about this. When's the next date?

808
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:00,800
Speaker 2: And you've gone on a second date. So I haven't

809
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:03,239
Speaker 2: gone on a second date yet. But we go to

810
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:07,239
Speaker 2: we go to jingle Ball this week? Are you going? Yes?

811
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:10,600
Speaker 3: Oh? I can't wait to hug your neck, y'all'll be there. Yes, okay, good,

812
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,879
Speaker 3: We're going to jingle Ball. I keep begging for a date,

813
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:16,799
Speaker 3: like if I can find my own, you know, maybe

814
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:19,080
Speaker 3: I'll bring somebody. But I know Mercedes is going on

815
00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:20,320
Speaker 3: her first date this week.

816
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:21,680
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I know.

817
00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:23,439
Speaker 3: And I get to be a part of that ball

818
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:27,440
Speaker 3: to jingle Ball, which like, listen, a first date. Sure, Torri,

819
00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:30,120
Speaker 3: let's be honest. You get to go to jingle Ball.

820
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:32,279
Speaker 3: It is a lot, but like, how freaking fun is

821
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:35,680
Speaker 3: that I don't know. There's no pressure. If you connect

822
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 3: or you don't connect, you get to go, You get

823
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:39,319
Speaker 3: to see an awesome show, you get to meet some

824
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:40,080
Speaker 3: other friends.

825
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 2: Like, what a cool date. You're not paying for.

826
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:44,360
Speaker 3: A ticket, you know what I mean. The podcast is

827
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:46,920
Speaker 3: bringing you out. They're introducing you to a hot girl.

828
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:49,360
Speaker 3: What better could that be? If it works great, If not,

829
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:50,880
Speaker 3: you go home and think, shit, I had a good

830
00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:51,440
Speaker 3: Friday night.

831
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 2: That sounds awesome. You know, like, what do you have

832
00:40:54,160 --> 00:41:03,120
Speaker 2: to lose? Nothing? Exactly? Maybe you bring me a boy friend. Noah,

833
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:05,840
Speaker 2: if I knew anyone, I'd be dating them. I'm just kidding.

834
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:12,360
Speaker 2: Are there no single available men? Well you're younger than me,

835
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:17,440
Speaker 2: but like you, No, it has been a very very challenging.

836
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:19,920
Speaker 3: Interesting culture out there. I will say that. You know,

837
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 3: you would think, because we live in Los Angeles, that

838
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:24,600
Speaker 3: they're just on that, that they're on every corner.

839
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:24,960
Speaker 2: They're not.

840
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:25,200
Speaker 3: No.

841
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:28,280
Speaker 2: I go to Whole Foods every week. They're not there. Girls.

842
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:30,359
Speaker 2: I don't know where they are. I don't know where

843
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:34,520
Speaker 2: they are. So Trader Joe's maybe maybe Trader Joe's. Listen.

844
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:36,759
Speaker 2: They all look great. They get to wear jeans and

845
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 2: a T shirt. To work. I listen. I love Trader.

846
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:42,839
Speaker 3: Joe's what beggars can't be choosers these days, Tori.

847
00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:47,560
Speaker 2: No, but like you don't see ment, But I don't

848
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:49,040
Speaker 2: know where do we meet people?

849
00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:49,239
Speaker 5: Then?

850
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:52,040
Speaker 2: I don't know. That's why I like place friends.

851
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:56,440
Speaker 3: That's why I like this opportunity of doing the podcast

852
00:41:56,800 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 3: because I don't go out. I I don't go bar hopping.

853
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:04,520
Speaker 3: I'm not going clubbing anymore. Right It's a very different

854
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:07,799
Speaker 3: when you know, and when there are midlives versus our

855
00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:08,880
Speaker 3: early twenties when.

856
00:42:08,719 --> 00:42:10,680
Speaker 2: We were going out all the time. I'm living at

857
00:42:10,719 --> 00:42:11,360
Speaker 2: every party.

858
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:14,880
Speaker 3: I was a freaking celebrities after parties like I was

859
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 3: doing all of that and it was a lot of fun.

860
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:19,760
Speaker 3: I'm not doing that anymore. I don't know where people

861
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:22,160
Speaker 3: meet guys women anymore.

862
00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:24,719
Speaker 2: There, but I don't feel very hopeful right now. I

863
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:26,800
Speaker 2: know I sure don't meet.

864
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:28,319
Speaker 3: Them when I come here, and I lock myself in

865
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:30,799
Speaker 3: my house all during Thanksgiving break and just make my

866
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:33,040
Speaker 3: own ribbi and sit on my couch and watch my

867
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:33,480
Speaker 3: own shows.

868
00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:35,799
Speaker 2: I'm surely not meeting anybody here. So it sounds good.

869
00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:37,919
Speaker 2: What sauce did you make with it? Oh?

870
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:41,080
Speaker 3: Nothing, you just salt and pepper it and then sear it.

871
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:42,560
Speaker 3: It's the best way to have it. You come over,

872
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:43,960
Speaker 3: I'll make you dinner, okay.

873
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 2: Says we need a man, girl who know one. I'll

874
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:48,319
Speaker 2: cook for you all day, even know anymore? Like I

875
00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:51,239
Speaker 2: don't even know what I want anymore. I just I

876
00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:54,919
Speaker 2: think that age a human, But I don't. I didn't

877
00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:57,120
Speaker 2: even really like sleep. It wasn't my husband. I didn't

878
00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:59,680
Speaker 2: like sleeping with someone I'm not, like, I don't like

879
00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:02,320
Speaker 2: the in bed, like I want to be left alone,

880
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 2: like I don't know.

881
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:06,360
Speaker 3: I think that's also really beautiful about the place in

882
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 3: life where we are right now is that we get

883
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:11,440
Speaker 3: to figure out who we are again. We get to

884
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:13,560
Speaker 3: figure out what we want and it doesn't have to

885
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:15,560
Speaker 3: be the same person as what we were in our

886
00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:18,959
Speaker 3: twenties and thirties when we met our ex husbands. That's

887
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:21,600
Speaker 3: the really awesome thing is we get to be someone different.

888
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:24,560
Speaker 2: If we want. We get to be more healed, not healed.

889
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:26,880
Speaker 3: We get to be funnier, you know, we get to

890
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:28,920
Speaker 3: be hotter if we want, We get to not be

891
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:31,080
Speaker 3: We get to eat all we want, roles for days,

892
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:35,040
Speaker 3: and enjoy our bodies like I think that's really and

893
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:38,640
Speaker 3: I believe that in this day and age in particular,

894
00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:41,920
Speaker 3: we're at such like an empowerment place where I think,

895
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:44,440
Speaker 3: and I'm only going to speak for women because I

896
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:47,919
Speaker 3: am a woman, but like where we're empowering each other,

897
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:51,560
Speaker 3: you know, like we get to have careers, we get

898
00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:54,320
Speaker 3: to be freaking bosses, we get to make more money

899
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:57,200
Speaker 3: than men, we get to have what we want, and

900
00:43:57,239 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 3: if we don't find that, then we're awesome some on

901
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:04,200
Speaker 3: our own. Like how beautiful is that? I would like

902
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 3: to share a life with someone. I have wonderful children,

903
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:13,560
Speaker 3: I have really solid friends and family. I would love

904
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:15,719
Speaker 3: to share my life with someone. I think I make

905
00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:16,640
Speaker 3: a great wife.

906
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:18,799
Speaker 2: I do if it.

907
00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 3: Doesn't happen for me. I also really love myself and

908
00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:24,600
Speaker 3: my life a lot.

909
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:30,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, but that's the personal answers.

910
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 2: I guess you're right. That's the beauty of it. Never

911
00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:42,919
Speaker 2: thought at I want to say our age, but again,

912
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:44,520
Speaker 2: you're in your forties. I'm in my fifties.

913
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:48,000
Speaker 3: Oh that's still our age, Tory, don't, that's still our age.

914
00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:51,319
Speaker 2: We're beautiful, strong women. I just never I guess I

915
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:55,600
Speaker 2: never thought I would be here. Well, we wouldn't have

916
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:59,040
Speaker 2: thought it, you know. No, And I can't say.

917
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:00,600
Speaker 3: And you probably think the same thingying. I didn't go

918
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:02,520
Speaker 3: into marriage thinking oh, I can't wait for this one.

919
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 2: To be done. Absolutely not.

920
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:07,120
Speaker 3: I bought the fairy tale. I wanted it for the

921
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:11,600
Speaker 3: rest of my life. I did not choose lightly. I

922
00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:14,920
Speaker 3: did not take my marriage for granted. I did not

923
00:45:15,719 --> 00:45:19,400
Speaker 3: think going into that. I actually shoot, I was with

924
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:21,719
Speaker 3: a group of people one day and I'm the only

925
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:26,200
Speaker 3: single one in the group. It was a Bible study actually,

926
00:45:26,239 --> 00:45:28,520
Speaker 3: and they were kind of talking, tossing around the idea

927
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:31,239
Speaker 3: of the way people go into marriage these days that

928
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:33,279
Speaker 3: they look at it like if it doesn't work out,

929
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:37,239
Speaker 3: I'll just get divorced. And this person said that in

930
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:40,520
Speaker 3: the group, and again, mind you, I'm the only woman

931
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:44,400
Speaker 3: who is there who's divorced, who didn't ask for a divorce.

932
00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:44,840
Speaker 2: Mind you.

933
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:47,879
Speaker 3: I was along for the ride, and I don't get

934
00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:51,799
Speaker 3: offended a lot, you know. But I stood up and

935
00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:55,239
Speaker 3: I was like, hey, that's not true. I paid for

936
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:58,160
Speaker 3: a divorce that I didn't ask for, and that's not

937
00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:02,040
Speaker 3: what I wanted. I didn't not ever go into my

938
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:05,680
Speaker 3: marriage or my relationship thinking if this doesn't work out,

939
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:08,919
Speaker 3: I'll just get divorced. No, the thought never crossed my mind.

940
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:10,640
Speaker 3: I was in it for the long haul. I was

941
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:12,040
Speaker 3: in it for the rest of my life, and I

942
00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:14,839
Speaker 3: was willing to do whatever it took to make that

943
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:15,719
Speaker 3: relationship work.

944
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:19,600
Speaker 2: That's the truth. So I don't know.

945
00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:21,560
Speaker 3: Maybe there are people out there who toss it around

946
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:24,080
Speaker 3: because they're willing to check out. I just know that

947
00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:27,840
Speaker 3: wasn't me, and that wasn't my experience. That wasn't I

948
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:31,799
Speaker 3: didn't ask for this. I didn't ask for all of

949
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:35,040
Speaker 3: this that comes along with it. But back to what

950
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:36,239
Speaker 3: we said in the beginning.

951
00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:38,640
Speaker 2: Here we are here, we are right.

952
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:42,760
Speaker 3: And we get a second chance, Tori at a really

953
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 3: awesome life, a really awesome chance at hopefully right love again.

954
00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:54,760
Speaker 3: I mean, we're young, dude, we're hot, we're great catches.

955
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:57,560
Speaker 3: Someone is going to love us again, and hopefully that

956
00:46:57,640 --> 00:47:01,560
Speaker 3: next chapter that love is like is that mind blowing?

957
00:47:01,719 --> 00:47:06,200
Speaker 3: Like fully accepting love. It's not on it's not on conditions,

958
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:08,560
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. Someone's going to love us,

959
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:11,760
Speaker 3: accept us for who we are, through and through, and

960
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:15,319
Speaker 3: if not, then you know we're really good on our own.

961
00:47:17,360 --> 00:47:21,240
Speaker 2: Like pardon me wants to be like, yes totally, and

962
00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:25,719
Speaker 2: you love how I just can't with you. I'm just like, yeah, nope,

963
00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:26,640
Speaker 2: that's okay.

964
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:29,080
Speaker 3: That's the place that you're in right now. That's the

965
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:32,879
Speaker 3: place that you're in just drinking Oh soda water. Oh

966
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:34,840
Speaker 3: my god, I don't have my glasses on. And I

967
00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:36,319
Speaker 3: saw a yellow and I thought it was.

968
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:44,360
Speaker 2: Squirt remem so so what an awful name for soda anyway,

969
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:49,840
Speaker 2: But it's as good as moist. Great. It's such a

970
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:56,080
Speaker 2: random let's call this squirt. Yeah, I'm just so freaking

971
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:59,200
Speaker 2: tired in life that I'm just like, I don't know

972
00:47:59,280 --> 00:48:03,480
Speaker 2: what I have left for someone else. But I yeah,

973
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:07,520
Speaker 2: in theory, in theory, yeah, I don't want to be

974
00:48:07,560 --> 00:48:11,880
Speaker 2: eighty and alone. That would suck. But right now I

975
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:18,560
Speaker 2: can't even imagine giving so much to someone, like because

976
00:48:18,719 --> 00:48:21,600
Speaker 2: once I had kids, I stopped giving as much as

977
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 2: I did before we had kids to my husband. I

978
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:27,360
Speaker 2: think that's yeah.

979
00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:29,760
Speaker 3: I think that's also very natural. I think that's very natural.

980
00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:33,719
Speaker 3: Something in what happens, something in switching to us. When

981
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:37,320
Speaker 3: you have children, you become a mother, you know, literally

982
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:40,160
Speaker 3: as a mother, everything that we do. People always say, oh,

983
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:42,399
Speaker 3: you can't just live for your kids. Yeah, I understand that,

984
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:45,680
Speaker 3: but it is in our nature to do that, to

985
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:48,080
Speaker 3: do that for our children, to give to our children.

986
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:50,600
Speaker 3: I used to say this in my marriage all the time.

987
00:48:51,440 --> 00:48:55,720
Speaker 3: My kids get ninety eight percent of me. He got

988
00:48:56,040 --> 00:48:59,480
Speaker 3: one percent, and I got what was whatever was left over,

989
00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:03,320
Speaker 3: and that wasn't a lot. So we are raising tiny humans,

990
00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:06,240
Speaker 3: that's what we're doing. We're trying to keep them alive,

991
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:08,600
Speaker 3: We're trying to make them good people, We're trying to

992
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:11,000
Speaker 3: show them their love. And nowadays we're all like, okay,

993
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:12,880
Speaker 3: tell me what's coming up for you. Like, we're trying to,

994
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:15,640
Speaker 3: you know, make sure their emotions are met and that

995
00:49:15,719 --> 00:49:19,359
Speaker 3: they become, you know, with a full skill set as

996
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:23,360
Speaker 3: they move into the world as adults. Like that's exhausting.

997
00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:26,920
Speaker 3: It's beautiful, but it's also exhausting. It's not surprising to

998
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:28,800
Speaker 3: me that you would say, I don't have anything else

999
00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 3: to give right now. I think that's okay.

1000
00:49:31,120 --> 00:49:32,479
Speaker 2: Maybe you were season of life.

1001
00:49:32,480 --> 00:49:35,560
Speaker 3: Where you are right now is you're meant to just

1002
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:38,840
Speaker 3: be tory and a mom, like you're meant.

1003
00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:41,560
Speaker 2: To fill you up. Eighteen years is a long time

1004
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:46,319
Speaker 2: what I was going. No, I mean, I don't know,

1005
00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:50,480
Speaker 2: it makes me think more about the nature of man

1006
00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:53,640
Speaker 2: versus a woman, and like going back to the you know,

1007
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:57,359
Speaker 2: Adam and Eve and why we're it's just the I

1008
00:49:57,400 --> 00:50:00,160
Speaker 2: think about it all the time that men just are

1009
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:04,280
Speaker 2: different and men, I think are getting more evolved now

1010
00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:09,160
Speaker 2: and I love that, but it's just in their DNA.

1011
00:50:09,719 --> 00:50:14,360
Speaker 2: I don't feel that that's a characteristic. Like we are

1012
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:17,800
Speaker 2: born to be moms, you know, when we have babies,

1013
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:21,840
Speaker 2: for those of us that choose to do it or can, Like,

1014
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:24,920
Speaker 2: I just feel like we give everything and men are not,

1015
00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:27,640
Speaker 2: like they don't. It's a different way of thinking.

1016
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:30,880
Speaker 3: But I think you're also right. I mean, I'm a Christian.

1017
00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:33,120
Speaker 3: That's what my belief is. And so for me, I

1018
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:35,719
Speaker 3: believe that the Lord designed us two different ways for

1019
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:39,879
Speaker 3: a reason. Right that men I can't even I can

1020
00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:42,359
Speaker 3: barely understand myself and women, so I won't even go there.

1021
00:50:42,360 --> 00:50:44,759
Speaker 3: I'll put them aside. But you know, I believe that

1022
00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:50,560
Speaker 3: by nature we are created, created to be nurturing people.

1023
00:50:50,719 --> 00:50:53,200
Speaker 3: There is something in us that allows us to set

1024
00:50:53,239 --> 00:50:57,799
Speaker 3: our own lives aside to care for children. Right, and listen,

1025
00:50:57,880 --> 00:50:59,200
Speaker 3: there's a lot of great dads out there. There's a

1026
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:00,440
Speaker 3: lot of stay at home dads. There's a lot of

1027
00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:03,440
Speaker 3: dads to do it. It's still not the same it

1028
00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:06,800
Speaker 3: is innately in us. The way that we give even

1029
00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:11,880
Speaker 3: kids aside. You watch on Thanksgiving Day. Thanksgiving was just Thanksgiving.

1030
00:51:11,960 --> 00:51:17,120
Speaker 3: Watch on Thanksgiving Day. The way women are of service

1031
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:22,360
Speaker 3: is different than men. They have to work at Oh honey,

1032
00:51:22,360 --> 00:51:25,760
Speaker 3: please sit, let me do the dishes. They don't innately

1033
00:51:25,840 --> 00:51:27,600
Speaker 3: that doesn't come up for them and think today, I'm

1034
00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:28,840
Speaker 3: going to be a great husband and do all of

1035
00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:29,240
Speaker 3: the dishes.

1036
00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:31,000
Speaker 2: Maybe they do, maybe they do. I'm not a man.

1037
00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:33,320
Speaker 2: But if you hus bean noways did the dishes?

1038
00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:39,280
Speaker 3: Oh god, I'm so jeousph and he cooks, Wow, wow,

1039
00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:41,719
Speaker 3: I'll take one of those.

1040
00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:53,799
Speaker 2: Yeah. And I don't know, Yeah, I don't know. I

1041
00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:55,480
Speaker 2: think you get to figure it out. And that's the

1042
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:57,480
Speaker 2: beauty of life. That's the beauty of life.

1043
00:51:57,520 --> 00:52:00,600
Speaker 3: You get to decide what it is that you want next,

1044
00:52:00,719 --> 00:52:02,480
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. That's what you get to

1045
00:52:02,520 --> 00:52:04,520
Speaker 3: decide that you want. That's what I get to decide

1046
00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:07,719
Speaker 3: that I want, except I go on a podcast to

1047
00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:09,400
Speaker 3: do it.

1048
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:11,600
Speaker 2: It's I think it's great. I want you to go

1049
00:52:11,640 --> 00:52:12,959
Speaker 2: on your second date, So.

1050
00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:16,040
Speaker 3: Do I call them up, tell them that we need

1051
00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:19,120
Speaker 3: to we can come back. You know what, we should

1052
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:21,560
Speaker 3: both go on a date to jingle Ball and then

1053
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:23,879
Speaker 3: we could do this again and talk about it. Because

1054
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:26,120
Speaker 3: dating is a whole other thing. Maybe you should get

1055
00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:28,239
Speaker 3: on the apps. Maybe that's what you should do, and

1056
00:52:28,239 --> 00:52:31,720
Speaker 3: then I'll live vicariously through you. They have an app

1057
00:52:31,880 --> 00:52:34,400
Speaker 3: that's meant for celebrities, Riyah.

1058
00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:37,720
Speaker 2: Yeah you can do it. I hear that nobody meets

1059
00:52:37,719 --> 00:52:40,920
Speaker 2: people on Riyah that it's just like, oh, I know,

1060
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:42,160
Speaker 2: I don't know.

1061
00:52:42,200 --> 00:52:43,759
Speaker 3: I heard once that Ben Affleck was on there, and

1062
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:45,160
Speaker 3: I was like, maybe that'll happen to me.

1063
00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:54,200
Speaker 2: Probably not, but it's swishful thinking. I don't know. It

1064
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:54,960
Speaker 2: can be done.

1065
00:52:55,160 --> 00:52:56,960
Speaker 3: There's also beauty in there. I want you to just like,

1066
00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:59,160
Speaker 3: go out on a date, just put yourself out there.

1067
00:52:59,840 --> 00:53:00,359
Speaker 2: It is.

1068
00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:03,279
Speaker 3: I have learned to talk to a wall. I could

1069
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:06,239
Speaker 3: get to know a wall. I really could. I think

1070
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:10,799
Speaker 3: that I'm truly extroverted anyway, but it's important to me

1071
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:14,120
Speaker 3: to be able to have conversation and for someone to

1072
00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:18,920
Speaker 3: have active listening. And that's why I said that dating

1073
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:24,239
Speaker 3: is like an experiment, because it is shocking to me

1074
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:28,360
Speaker 3: how many people do not know how to have conversation,

1075
00:53:29,200 --> 00:53:33,360
Speaker 3: to speak to someone, ask them a question, actively listen,

1076
00:53:33,719 --> 00:53:35,240
Speaker 3: and ask a follow up question.

1077
00:53:35,320 --> 00:53:38,239
Speaker 2: These are basic things that we think we're taught. It's

1078
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:41,000
Speaker 2: human nature. Are not that are not?

1079
00:53:41,560 --> 00:53:43,120
Speaker 3: I can't tell you how many dates I walked away

1080
00:53:43,160 --> 00:53:47,000
Speaker 3: from and thought that guy knows nothing about me, That

1081
00:53:47,120 --> 00:53:49,680
Speaker 3: they never asked me a single question outside of oh

1082
00:53:49,719 --> 00:53:53,320
Speaker 3: your name is that they never asked me anything about myself.

1083
00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:54,120
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1084
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:57,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't tell you how many first dates I

1085
00:53:57,719 --> 00:54:00,239
Speaker 3: went on where I left and thought he knows a

1086
00:54:00,239 --> 00:54:07,000
Speaker 3: single thing about me. Communication and reciprocation is so very important,

1087
00:54:07,040 --> 00:54:08,120
Speaker 3: and I feel like those.

1088
00:54:08,239 --> 00:54:10,440
Speaker 2: He didn't ask because he knows you're famous, and he's like, well,

1089
00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:12,720
Speaker 2: I don't want to think that I'm asking.

1090
00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:16,040
Speaker 3: I would say that I have experienced this stuff since

1091
00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:19,280
Speaker 3: early on, okay, even before I ever went on television.

1092
00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:20,759
Speaker 3: I think there is also a piece to that where

1093
00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:22,560
Speaker 3: people walk up and they can google me and learn

1094
00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:24,960
Speaker 3: a lot of things about me. You can see that

1095
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:27,840
Speaker 3: I'm divorced, that I have children, you can see whatever

1096
00:54:27,920 --> 00:54:31,400
Speaker 3: my life is. There are people that google that. Even still,

1097
00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:34,279
Speaker 3: if that were the case, they could sit down to

1098
00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:36,719
Speaker 3: a meal or a coffee or a hike or whatever,

1099
00:54:36,760 --> 00:54:38,719
Speaker 3: and be like, so, I see that you have two children,

1100
00:54:38,920 --> 00:54:41,279
Speaker 3: what are your kids like? What do you like to

1101
00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:44,360
Speaker 3: do with your children? Those feel like very basic things

1102
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:49,120
Speaker 3: in order to see if you have actual chemistry with someone,

1103
00:54:49,560 --> 00:54:52,120
Speaker 3: and I don't mean just sexual chemistry, but that helps.

1104
00:54:52,480 --> 00:54:55,240
Speaker 3: You have to be able to talk to someone. Yes,

1105
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:58,799
Speaker 3: I don't care how hot you are. I don't care

1106
00:54:58,840 --> 00:55:01,279
Speaker 3: how good looking you are. If the things that come

1107
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:04,600
Speaker 3: out of your mouth are repulsive, you are unattractive to me.

1108
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:10,640
Speaker 3: I'm that serious. Someone's emotional, intelligent, their sense of humor,

1109
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:15,239
Speaker 3: their personality way more important than way more important than

1110
00:55:15,239 --> 00:55:19,680
Speaker 3: anything else that makes someone attractive. There has to be

1111
00:55:19,719 --> 00:55:23,839
Speaker 3: that initial attraction when you meet someone, and that's you know,

1112
00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:24,800
Speaker 3: that's that's.

1113
00:55:24,640 --> 00:55:25,440
Speaker 2: The looks piece.

1114
00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:28,719
Speaker 3: But it has to go to further depths beyond that.

1115
00:55:28,880 --> 00:55:31,680
Speaker 3: And if you can't do the most basic things, I

1116
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:34,040
Speaker 3: can't tolerate having dinner with you. I would much rather

1117
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:36,480
Speaker 3: be on my couch watching Netflix by myself and making

1118
00:55:36,480 --> 00:55:39,840
Speaker 3: myself happy. Absolutely, it's not worth my time, and my

1119
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:41,360
Speaker 3: time is valuable.

1120
00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:49,160
Speaker 2: Amen. Amen, what are you wearing? M fredday?

1121
00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:55,279
Speaker 3: God, that's a whole other thing, because I okay, so

1122
00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:58,920
Speaker 3: tell me if you can relate to this. Because I

1123
00:55:59,040 --> 00:56:03,400
Speaker 3: was married for so long. It's not like I lost myself,

1124
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:07,000
Speaker 3: but like, I don't know. My style just evolved over years.

1125
00:56:07,040 --> 00:56:11,239
Speaker 3: The way I dress evolved over years. I'm a T

1126
00:56:11,360 --> 00:56:14,120
Speaker 3: shirt and jeans girl through and through, Like that's who

1127
00:56:14,160 --> 00:56:16,040
Speaker 3: I am. If I could go to jingle Ball wearing

1128
00:56:16,080 --> 00:56:18,160
Speaker 3: a T shirt and jeans, like, nothing would make me happier.

1129
00:56:19,040 --> 00:56:23,040
Speaker 3: So I'm trying to be you could, I guess I could.

1130
00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:25,480
Speaker 3: I'm trying to be relatively attractive. So here i am

1131
00:56:25,480 --> 00:56:28,040
Speaker 3: in Bloomingdale's last week and I'm sending Kelly Ben some

1132
00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:30,879
Speaker 3: own pictures of me because she's gorgeous and she's got

1133
00:56:30,960 --> 00:56:33,040
Speaker 3: legs for days and she always looks hot on the

1134
00:56:33,040 --> 00:56:35,879
Speaker 3: red carpet. And I'm like, Kelly, can I wear this?

1135
00:56:36,080 --> 00:56:38,320
Speaker 3: And I sent her a few pictures of different outfits

1136
00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:40,600
Speaker 3: that I had picked out, and the one and I

1137
00:56:40,680 --> 00:56:42,600
Speaker 3: knew it as soon as I sent Kelly, She's gonna die.

1138
00:56:42,600 --> 00:56:44,880
Speaker 3: And when she hears this, I knew the dress she

1139
00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:47,600
Speaker 3: was gonna pick toy because it's this slinky little thing

1140
00:56:47,719 --> 00:56:50,200
Speaker 3: that I can't wear a bra with and it's like

1141
00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:53,840
Speaker 3: got thin straps and it's short, and she's like that dress,

1142
00:56:53,880 --> 00:56:55,800
Speaker 3: you look smoking hot. Wear that dress. I was like,

1143
00:56:56,239 --> 00:56:57,680
Speaker 3: I knew you were gonna say that. I'm not gonna

1144
00:56:57,680 --> 00:57:00,120
Speaker 3: wear this dress.

1145
00:57:00,560 --> 00:57:02,360
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm between two things.

1146
00:57:02,440 --> 00:57:05,360
Speaker 3: I really love the fashion trend right now of tights,

1147
00:57:05,440 --> 00:57:07,799
Speaker 3: and so I really want to wear some tights. And

1148
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:10,640
Speaker 3: I bought some really fun sparkly heels, and so I

1149
00:57:10,640 --> 00:57:13,440
Speaker 3: want to base my outfit on tights and sparkly heels.

1150
00:57:14,600 --> 00:57:18,200
Speaker 2: Okay, what are you gonna WEARK I don't know, I

1151
00:57:18,240 --> 00:57:22,240
Speaker 2: have nothing to wear yet, but with kids like, we

1152
00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:25,320
Speaker 2: don't think. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, but

1153
00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:27,920
Speaker 2: you're a hot, cute one. I in my conference, Like,

1154
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:31,760
Speaker 2: I wear tennis shoes now, that's my thing. So do I?

1155
00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:34,360
Speaker 2: I wear heels for so many years. That's just like,

1156
00:57:35,080 --> 00:57:37,440
Speaker 2: why I may I wear heels? I just I don't

1157
00:57:37,480 --> 00:57:39,720
Speaker 2: want to any Why do I have to? Why do

1158
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:41,960
Speaker 2: I have to do that? I know?

1159
00:57:42,840 --> 00:57:46,160
Speaker 3: So I bought a little black sequince skirt. Maybe I'll

1160
00:57:46,160 --> 00:57:49,280
Speaker 3: do that. Maybe if you wear a T shirt with it,

1161
00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:50,280
Speaker 3: I could.

1162
00:57:50,720 --> 00:57:53,480
Speaker 2: I could. So here we are.

1163
00:57:53,520 --> 00:57:55,800
Speaker 3: Now we're going to surprise each other at GENA and

1164
00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:56,960
Speaker 3: see what each other is.

1165
00:57:57,120 --> 00:58:00,280
Speaker 2: I just get to hug you again. I know, I know. Also,

1166
00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:02,520
Speaker 2: I feel so comfortable. I'm black. I'm not like a

1167
00:58:02,560 --> 00:58:06,240
Speaker 2: colorful person. Okay, shoot, yeah, that reminds me. I have like,

1168
00:58:06,280 --> 00:58:08,439
Speaker 2: what four days to get it. Oh boy, you better

1169
00:58:08,520 --> 00:58:13,080
Speaker 2: get on it. I know. How old is your youngest now? Eight?

1170
00:58:13,880 --> 00:58:15,960
Speaker 2: Oh my god. It goes my so fast when it's

1171
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:21,160
Speaker 2: not your own kids. I know. Wow. So there's little

1172
00:58:21,240 --> 00:58:21,880
Speaker 2: all day.

1173
00:58:22,840 --> 00:58:29,360
Speaker 3: Allegedly Oh okay, okay, that's a story for another time.

1174
00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:33,120
Speaker 2: The youngest is home today again, it's always got something

1175
00:58:33,160 --> 00:58:35,280
Speaker 2: and he's my baby, so I'm always like, oh you

1176
00:58:35,320 --> 00:58:38,600
Speaker 2: have the sniffles. Okay, yeah, I absolutely stay home with mommy.

1177
00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:42,880
Speaker 2: I'm the longest possible, Like, oh my gosh, today's.

1178
00:58:42,400 --> 00:58:44,560
Speaker 3: Torture because they were just out of school for a

1179
00:58:44,560 --> 00:58:46,320
Speaker 3: week and a half, so neither kid wants to go

1180
00:58:46,320 --> 00:58:48,600
Speaker 3: to school. Of course, I text a girlfriend of mine

1181
00:58:48,640 --> 00:58:51,160
Speaker 3: and was like, maybe I'm the worst, or maybe I'm

1182
00:58:51,160 --> 00:58:53,120
Speaker 3: the best. Maybe I should be flattered that the kids

1183
00:58:53,120 --> 00:58:56,680
Speaker 3: don't want to go to school, that they're completely anxious

1184
00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:58,560
Speaker 3: and in tears because they want to stay home with

1185
00:58:58,600 --> 00:59:01,080
Speaker 3: mommy and daddy. They love the home with mommy and daddy.

1186
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:03,360
Speaker 3: That's they feel safe. They feel happy. That's what they

1187
00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:04,680
Speaker 3: want to do. So I either need to be really

1188
00:59:04,720 --> 00:59:07,800
Speaker 3: stoked about that or I'm like, I'm creative, I'm creating

1189
00:59:07,800 --> 00:59:09,760
Speaker 3: a problem. But both of my children went to school

1190
00:59:09,760 --> 00:59:12,720
Speaker 3: today in full blown tears and panic because they would

1191
00:59:12,800 --> 00:59:16,400
Speaker 3: rather be at home with mom and dad. And I'm like, see,

1192
00:59:16,720 --> 00:59:17,640
Speaker 3: I can't.

1193
00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:22,560
Speaker 2: I would have been like, Okay, it's okay, it's not good. Yeah,

1194
00:59:22,720 --> 00:59:29,040
Speaker 2: I understand, Well, thank you. I appreciate you doing this. Yeah,

1195
00:59:29,080 --> 00:59:32,440
Speaker 2: I'm looking forward, proud of you going through this. Who

1196
00:59:32,520 --> 00:59:38,080
Speaker 2: would have thought, like eight seven years ago, like we'd

1197
00:59:38,120 --> 00:59:42,080
Speaker 2: be here, both divorced, starting this new beautiful chapter.

1198
00:59:42,800 --> 00:59:45,439
Speaker 3: Who would have thought? Who would have thought? But here

1199
00:59:45,480 --> 00:59:46,720
Speaker 3: we are. It's crazy.

1200
00:59:46,800 --> 00:59:51,760
Speaker 2: Life. Life puts you, puts you on on different things.

1201
00:59:51,800 --> 00:59:51,960
Speaker 6: You know.

1202
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:53,800
Speaker 3: I can think back to certain places in my life

1203
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:57,280
Speaker 3: where certain decisions have changed the trajectory of my life,

1204
00:59:57,360 --> 01:00:01,280
Speaker 3: and so you know that divorce did. It changed the

1205
01:00:01,400 --> 01:00:03,680
Speaker 3: trajectory of my life. And I'm very happy now and

1206
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:07,560
Speaker 3: I'm really really glad and I'm grateful. But it's interesting

1207
01:00:07,600 --> 01:00:10,920
Speaker 3: how those things happen, right, and it's happened for you too. Well,

1208
01:00:10,920 --> 01:00:13,520
Speaker 3: I'm excited to see where that where that path leans.

1209
01:00:13,520 --> 01:00:20,280
Speaker 2: That's same, very good. Well, it'll lead somewhere. Hopefully it's

1210
01:00:20,280 --> 01:00:25,160
Speaker 2: not a dead end road. I hate wrong turns. I

1211
01:00:25,240 --> 01:00:29,800
Speaker 2: made so many of them. Okay, well, no, it's gonna

1212
01:00:29,800 --> 01:00:33,520
Speaker 2: be the beautiful road that'll keep going. That's right. Well,

1213
01:00:33,560 --> 01:00:35,919
Speaker 2: I look forward to seeing you Friday. Me too.

1214
01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:36,720
Speaker 5: Me.

1215
01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:40,400
Speaker 3: Whatever we wear, whatever we wear, let's go. Let's be

1216
01:00:40,520 --> 01:00:43,200
Speaker 3: wild and wear jeans and a T shirt and tennis shoes.

1217
01:00:43,520 --> 01:00:44,520
Speaker 3: We'll show them all.

1218
01:00:44,880 --> 01:00:46,120
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I would love you.

1219
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:47,240
Speaker 5: Have no idea.

1220
01:00:48,480 --> 01:00:51,200
Speaker 2: All right, Tory, thank you? Okay, I love you and

1221
01:00:51,240 --> 01:00:53,360
Speaker 2: I love you. I'll see you Friday, honey,