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Speaker 1: This is John.

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Speaker 2: This is your og okay Storytime podcast hosts, and we have.

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Speaker 1: Some rockin stories for you coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before you rock out with your socks out, I

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Speaker 2: got a quick tune minute ad break from a sponsors

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Speaker 2: keeping the show rocking and rolling. I discovered I was

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Speaker 2: the other woman, so I dumped him. Yes, yes, you

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Speaker 2: know what else is?

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Speaker 1: Yes.

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Speaker 2: This comes from the r slize Okay Storytime subredd h Yes,

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Speaker 2: I hope I get this all out coherently, but here

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Speaker 2: goes nothing. And please keep in mind that this was

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Speaker 2: my first relationship after leaving a seven year long harmful relationship.

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Speaker 2: I would never accept this kind of treatment in my

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Speaker 2: life again. I twenty six female at the time, had

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Speaker 2: just started a new job where I worked in the

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Speaker 2: same facility as my mother, but for a different company.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Illustrious Trash eighty five.

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Speaker 2: And if you want to submit your own stories to

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Speaker 2: have them read just like this one, go to the

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Speaker 2: r slash Okay storytime subreddit. There was definitely a very

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Speaker 2: heavily male dominated environment, and being a new woman, I

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Speaker 2: garnered a lot of unwanted attention when I first started.

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Speaker 2: By no means do I think I am exceptionally attractive.

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Speaker 2: I think it had more to do with me being

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Speaker 2: new and being pretty, but not so attractive that I

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Speaker 2: was unapproachable. I am also usually a very professional person

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Speaker 2: and had never dated a coworker at the time. Out

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Speaker 2: of the men that would go out of their way

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Speaker 2: to make conversation with me, one did stand out. Let's

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Speaker 2: call him Steve. Now, Steve was very sweet at the time.

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Speaker 2: What started out with him bringing me drinks and snacks

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Speaker 2: whenever we had a break quickly became him passing me

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Speaker 2: sweet little handwritten love notes whenever he saw me in

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Speaker 2: the hall. I was absolutely smitten with us.

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Speaker 1: Man.

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Speaker 2: Steve was everything I wanted in the partner, the antithesis

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Speaker 2: of my ex He did not smoke, drink, or gamble,

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Speaker 2: and seemingly had no vices. After speaking with him more,

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Speaker 2: I found out that he had been in a relationship

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Speaker 2: for ten years with his then girlfriend. He tried telling

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Speaker 2: me all the same things that they always say. Neither

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Speaker 2: of them wanted to be in the relationship, but felt

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Speaker 2: obligated to stay because they had moved here from their

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Speaker 2: home state together. That she didn't appreciate him, but his

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Speaker 2: mom liked her, and he didn't want to upset his mother,

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Speaker 2: et cetera. I was quick to cut it out, and

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Speaker 2: I let him know that while I really liked him

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Speaker 2: and one and more, I was not a homewrecker. So okay,

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Speaker 2: so he is in a relationship. It was so there

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Speaker 2: we go super certified. He accepted this, and we would

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Speaker 2: talk when we saw each other at work. Both cut

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Speaker 2: off outside communication. About a month later, he texted me

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Speaker 2: and told me that he could not get me out

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Speaker 2: of his head and had broken things off with his girlfriend,

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Speaker 2: so that.

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Speaker 1: Way we could try and see where this could go.

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Speaker 2: I stupidly believed him, and I allowed him to take

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Speaker 2: me out on a date, after which we had our

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Speaker 2: first intimate encounter, some spicy sleep. We were inseparable from

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Speaker 2: that point on. Steve showered me in gifts. When he

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Speaker 2: was at my place, he would dote on me. He

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Speaker 2: would do my dishes, massage my feet, and have food

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Speaker 2: delivered to my house when I was feeling sick or tired.

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Speaker 1: If I was short on my rent or.

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Speaker 2: Was just very close with my bills, he would send

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Speaker 2: me money without asking.

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Speaker 1: But at the time I had been trying to scrape.

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Speaker 2: My life back together after my harmful ex made sure

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Speaker 2: that I left with nothing when we separated. Steve was

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Speaker 2: known for putting in a lot of overtime at work

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Speaker 2: and loved to throw his money around. He would even

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Speaker 2: go out of his way to impress my mother, making

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Speaker 2: sure she always had extra help at work, and even

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Speaker 2: learning phrases from her language. My mother is foreign in

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Speaker 2: English as her second language. Looking back at things now,

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Speaker 2: I do realize that he was love bombing me, but

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Speaker 2: at the time, it felt like I was finally getting

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Speaker 2: the affection I had been so starved.

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Speaker 1: Of in my previous relationship.

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Speaker 2: Course, everything seemed perfect, and with months of us starting

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Speaker 2: our relationship began talking about getting married and starting a family.

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Speaker 2: I think this is when he started to feel more

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Speaker 2: comfortable with exerting.

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Speaker 1: Control over my life.

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Speaker 2: Friends from work began to notice how close we were getting,

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Speaker 2: and it would express that they believed Steve was still

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Speaker 2: with his previous partner. When I brought those concerns to Steve,

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Speaker 2: he would dismiss those concerns from me as jealousy or

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Speaker 2: simply say that the men at work were trying to

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Speaker 2: separate us so that way they could have their chance

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Speaker 2: of me. Over the next few months, he would isolate

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Speaker 2: me from my friends and family whenever possible. I am

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Speaker 2: super socially active person, but had joined a friend group

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Speaker 2: for every niche hobby. Steve did not approve of this,

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Speaker 2: and after I started attending group gatherings, he would ignore

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Speaker 2: me as.

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Speaker 1: A punishment for no respecting his wishes.

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Speaker 2: I was not allowed to go out with my friends

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Speaker 2: if Booze was involved and he was not present, regardless

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Speaker 2: of whether or not I was drinking. Any attempt at

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Speaker 2: socialization without him present was met with stonewalling as punishment

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Speaker 2: for me not respecting him as a man.

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Speaker 1: Sir, you are acting like a baby. Correct.

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Speaker 2: I ended up withdrawing a lot from my friends in

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Speaker 2: order to keep the peace in our relationship. About a

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Speaker 2: year to our relationship, I woke up one day to

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Speaker 2: text messages from a random number. This included intimate pictures

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Speaker 2: I had sent to him and a text that read,

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Speaker 2: how did.

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Speaker 1: You like screwing my man?

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Speaker 2: It was Steve's ex girlfriend here on referred to as

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Speaker 2: girlfriend number one.

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Speaker 1: I tried to remain calm, but.

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Speaker 2: Let her know that while I could sympathize with how

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Speaker 2: much he had to be struggling with such a long relationship,

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Speaker 2: ending per somehow hacking into his phone was inappropriate and

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Speaker 2: if she attempted to distribute my photos I would press

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Speaker 2: charges against her. And after a little back and forth,

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Speaker 2: she realized that I had no idea that they had

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Speaker 2: never actually broken up. Over the next few hours, we

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Speaker 2: compared calendars, text messages and came to the conclusion that

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Speaker 2: not only had he been sleeping with both of us,

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Speaker 2: sometimes on the same day, but he had also bought

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Speaker 2: us the same Christmas and Valentine's Day presence and was

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Speaker 2: using excessive amounts of overtime to explain any away time

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Speaker 2: he was gone home for too long. It turned out

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Speaker 2: that some of the love notes that he wrote to

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Speaker 2: me were written off of her work notepad. Steve was

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Speaker 2: also using girlfriend number one's car to come visit me,

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Speaker 2: what as she had worked from home since the VID

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Speaker 2: and did not often need it. Not only that, but

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Speaker 2: it came to light that the first day we had

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Speaker 2: gone in a date and been intimate was when Girlfriend

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Speaker 2: number one had been in their home state at a

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Speaker 2: family member's funeral. This explained why that had been the

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Speaker 2: only time that we ever spent the night at his house,

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Speaker 2: because it was the only time she was gone. I

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Speaker 2: had never thought to question why we always stayed.

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Speaker 1: To my place.

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Speaker 2: At the time, it seemed like it makee the most

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Speaker 2: sense because the building where we worked out was in

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Speaker 2: the town that I lived in, and his home was

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Speaker 2: about thirty minutes away and in the next town over.

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Speaker 2: On Valentine's Day, Seve had spent the previous night at

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Speaker 2: my house, leaving early in the morning under the guys

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Speaker 2: that he had volunteered to.

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Speaker 1: Go into work early that day.

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Speaker 2: I know what you're thinking, this man had to be

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Speaker 2: so hot or swing in a baseball bat, But in

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Speaker 2: all honesty, he was a tall, average looking guy, but

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Speaker 2: with a nice smile. The bar was just in the

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Speaker 2: molten center of the earth. At this point, the more

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Speaker 2: we fleshed out of the truth, the more horrifying it became.

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Speaker 2: I was not the first woman that she had caught

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Speaker 2: him with. Hell, I wasn't even the third woman. Steve

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Speaker 2: had done this to her many times.

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Speaker 1: Apparently.

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Speaker 2: I offered to block him, but she asked me not

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Speaker 2: to and told me to let her know if he

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Speaker 2: reached out to me again. I offered my apologies to her,

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Speaker 2: but if I'm being honest, I was devastated too. Up

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Speaker 2: until this point, I convinced myself that this was the

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Speaker 2: man I was going to start a family with and

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Speaker 2: that we could grow old together someday. He did not

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Speaker 2: reach out to me after this, as girlfriend number one

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Speaker 2: had confronted him with the proof of his infidelity.

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Speaker 1: When we cross paths at work, he would avoided eye

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Speaker 1: contact with me or just go around to the opposite direction.

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Speaker 1: This went on for a few weeks while I I

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Speaker 1: passed away inside a little bit every time I saw him.

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Speaker 2: Even knowing how much he lied to me, I still

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Speaker 2: missed him so much, and compared to the abuse of

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Speaker 2: my last relationship, the lies seemed less and less harsh.

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Speaker 2: In my mind, I was in love with this man,

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Speaker 2: and it felt like there was no way I could

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Speaker 2: ever lose someone like this again. Eventually he started shooting

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Speaker 2: me longing looks in the hallway oh no, or he

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Speaker 2: would find excuses to come into the area by my

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Speaker 2: office so that way I would notice him. At one point,

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Speaker 2: Steve left a little note on my desk, apologizing for

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Speaker 2: hurting me, but begging for another chance.

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Speaker 1: All right, He left a little note. We get HR

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Speaker 1: involved now, dude, Yeah, Hr, Where's Christian? Where's Christian? We

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Speaker 1: have HR duties.

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Speaker 2: He claimed that girlfriend number one and him had split

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Speaker 2: for good this time, I guess, and that she had

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Speaker 2: moved back to their home state. He wanted to work

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Speaker 2: things out and was willing to do anything for a

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Speaker 2: second chance. I had to explain to what happened to

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Speaker 2: my mom at some point, which only made things worse

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Speaker 2: for me.

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Speaker 1: My mother is very old.

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Speaker 2: School and really only saw all the support he had

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Speaker 2: offered me over to last year. My father was not

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Speaker 2: supportive and he struggled financially to raise me. To her,

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Speaker 2: the best possible thing was for me to have a

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Speaker 2: partner that could provide me with a comfortable life. She

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Speaker 2: encouraged me to give him another chance and told me

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Speaker 2: that he is a human and obviously loved me very

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Speaker 2: much if he was willing to throw away a relationship

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Speaker 2: of a decade away from me. After the prodding from

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Speaker 2: my mother, I ended up giving him another chance.

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Speaker 1: No stupid of me, I know, with.

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Speaker 2: The insistence that we now had an open phone policy

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Speaker 2: and we would share locations with each other at all times,

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Speaker 2: which I admittedly rarely checked, and we would spend time

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Speaker 2: in his home too, so I be assured that he

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Speaker 2: was not hiding anyone at the home. At first, he

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Speaker 2: was just as loving as before, but quickly I began

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Speaker 2: to notice suspicious behavior from him again, constant over time,

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Speaker 2: placing his phone down, nights where he insisted that he

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Speaker 2: couldn't come over, and whispers at work. It drove me

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Speaker 2: insane until finally, one day, a coworker sat me down

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Speaker 2: and told me that another woman from work had been

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Speaker 2: calling their department look looking for him. When questioned why,

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Speaker 2: she quickly made an excuse and hung up. Well, this

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Speaker 2: was enough for me to put a plan into action

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Speaker 2: to confirm my suspicions. So one night, he called me

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Speaker 2: after he got off work and told me he had

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Speaker 2: to cancel our plans last minute because his friend in

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Speaker 2: my town needed him to work on his car. I

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Speaker 2: watched in real time as his location showed him driving

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Speaker 2: straight home and not to his friend's house. I decided

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Speaker 2: to ask him if I could spend the night with

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Speaker 2: him after he was done helping his friend. He insisted

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Speaker 2: that this wouldn't be possible as he didn't know what

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Speaker 2: time he would be home and it would likely be

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Speaker 2: very late. So I waited about thirty minutes after he

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Speaker 2: said this and texted him back. If you're at your

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Speaker 2: friend's house, then whose car is parked in your driveway? I,

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Speaker 2: in fact did not actually waste my time driving the

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Speaker 2: thirty minutes to his house, but I already knew it

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Speaker 2: was happening.

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Speaker 1: Opie was calling the shots.

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Speaker 2: This is remote work, ladies and gentlemen, This is the

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Speaker 2: definition of remote work. In seconds, he was calling me

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Speaker 2: over and over again, sending me a flurry of messages,

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Speaker 2: begging me to please pick up, and tellelling me that

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Speaker 2: it was just a friend from work.

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Speaker 1: I told him to cut the crap and that I

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Speaker 1: was not stupid.

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00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,439
Speaker 2: He admitted that he had been intimate with this woman,

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Speaker 2: but swore it was only the first time.

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Speaker 1: Sure, fat chance to that. I mean, bro, this this

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Speaker 1: man is gotta love this stupid logic of like, well,

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Speaker 1: if I tell her that it only happened this one time,

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Speaker 1: right now, maybe jo him forgive me.

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Speaker 2: I told him to never speak to me again, and

250
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Speaker 2: send him a photo of every love note he ever

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Speaker 2: wrote me In my grip. He begs me to talk

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Speaker 2: to him again, all the while he was still was

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Speaker 2: girlfriend number three. It did not take long for his

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Speaker 2: coworkers to find out that I had dumped him and

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Speaker 2: the dogs came running. He was furious when he found

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Speaker 2: out that one of his coworkers had asked me out

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Speaker 2: on a date and that I had accepted. This coworker

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Speaker 2: was the definition of tall, dark and handsome, and was

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Speaker 2: well known for keeping to himself. Steve called me while

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Speaker 2: I was on my way to this date and insisted

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Speaker 2: that I come over so that way we could talk.

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Speaker 2: They coldly told him I had plans, hung up. Tired

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Speaker 2: of me, Steve, Yeah, and I put my phone onto

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Speaker 2: an understurb.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 2: He called me over and over again, sending me text

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Speaker 2: effortext asking how I could do this to him and

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Speaker 2: that he loved me so much. After my day was over,

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Speaker 2: I finally texted him back at two am, saying it's okay, baby,

270
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Speaker 2: now we're even. You screwed one of your coworkers, and

271
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Speaker 2: now so have I. He absolutely blew up on me,

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Speaker 2: calling me heartless, asking how I could betray him, claiming

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Speaker 2: that I could.

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Speaker 1: So easily give up on him.

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Speaker 2: Absolute nonsense. Yes, Ope, that is absolute nonsense. I made

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Speaker 2: it a point over the next few weeks to always

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Speaker 2: have my hair and makeup done.

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Speaker 1: I wore tighter clothes, that showed off my figure ooh, ooh, ooh, groovy, Oh.

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Speaker 2: My god, and went out of my way to be

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00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:39,880
Speaker 2: overtly friendly to anyone, everyone, and loudly giggle at everyone's

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Speaker 2: jokes whenever he was near.

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Speaker 1: Not long after that.

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Speaker 2: I started casually seeing one of my friends from another department.

284
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Speaker 2: Within a month of confirming that I had moved on Steven,

285
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Speaker 2: girlfriend number three had gotten married in a rush ceremony,

286
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Speaker 2: and he would try to flaunt their lifestyle at me.

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Speaker 2: Eventually I left that job for another opportunity. From what

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00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:01,440
Speaker 2: I've heard, girlfriend number three, now life of Steve, has

289
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:05,160
Speaker 2: since been arrested. She found evidence of him cheating on her.

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00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:08,040
Speaker 2: Absolutely lost your crap on girlfriend number.

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Speaker 1: Four, phenomena, dude, my god.

292
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Speaker 2: At this point, this was all several years ago. I've

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00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:15,680
Speaker 2: had a few different relationships in that time, and I

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Speaker 2: am now peacefully single. If you have made it this far,

295
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:21,559
Speaker 2: thank you for reading. I apologize for lengthy story. Don't apologize,

296
00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:23,760
Speaker 2: and ask you to not judge me too harshly. I

297
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Speaker 2: was just a broken person desperate to be loved.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Now, I love myself enough not to settle for someone

300
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,400
Speaker 2: who would love me any less than how I deserve

301
00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:33,120
Speaker 2: and I think we need to just you know, we

302
00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,320
Speaker 2: kind of already said it, but it's like, OPI was

303
00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:39,000
Speaker 2: coming from a very very very bad relationship before this,

304
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Speaker 2: right right, and it's like that person lowering her her

305
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:45,000
Speaker 2: self esteem, self love everything. That's where she was literally like,

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Speaker 2: oh well, it's like not as bad, you know, and

307
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,320
Speaker 2: her like it warps your whole reality, you know, And

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00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,080
Speaker 2: she was like, we're all on our journey and all

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00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:52,920
Speaker 2: all learning.

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Speaker 1: So when she got love bombed, you know, she got

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Speaker 1: like yes. So it's like, oh my god, my dreams

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00:12:57,840 --> 00:12:59,800
Speaker 1: coming true. It's like, this is what I've been waiting for.

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00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,120
Speaker 1: And then you know this person, then it's like and

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00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:06,480
Speaker 1: now I have you under my control. I caught my

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Speaker 1: boyfriend paying other women he claimed to look down on.

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Speaker 1: Excuse me, that's an interesting way to go about that.

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00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:20,120
Speaker 1: I met Alex on an online dating site sometime last fall.

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00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:22,960
Speaker 1: Normally I have a strict five year age limit, but

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00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:25,400
Speaker 1: boredom and curiosity got the better of me, so I

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00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,880
Speaker 1: swiped right on him, expecting nothing more than a few

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00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:31,800
Speaker 1: entertaining exchanges. By the way, this country user, you're poison toonic.

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Speaker 1: Oh I know you're here today? And if you want

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00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,160
Speaker 1: to submit your own stories and have them read on

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00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:40,240
Speaker 1: the stream just like this, go to the r slash

325
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:44,360
Speaker 1: okay story time subreddit. To my surprise, the conversation didn't

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00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:47,400
Speaker 1: fizzle out like most do. He was sharp grounded, and

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Speaker 1: despite the age difference, carried himself with a sense of

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Speaker 1: maturity I found refreshing. He came off as a well

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Speaker 1: put together, blue collar kind of guy, someone who actually

330
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Speaker 1: wanted to build a future, not just chase fleeting fun.

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Speaker 1: After a few week weeks of talking and light flirting,

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00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,920
Speaker 1: we decided to meet up. Our first date wasn't exactly traditional.

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00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:07,719
Speaker 1: I invited him half jokingly to a bar night I

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00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:10,960
Speaker 1: had planned with co workers and their partners. I expected

335
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,640
Speaker 1: him to politely decline, but he surprised me again by

336
00:14:13,679 --> 00:14:17,080
Speaker 1: agreeing to come that night. I waited anxiously at the bar.

337
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:20,240
Speaker 1: At one point, someone vaguely familiar approached me and I

338
00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:23,280
Speaker 1: had a split second panic, thinking I'd been catfished. Thankfully

339
00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:25,880
Speaker 1: it wasn't him, and when Alex finally walked in, he

340
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:32,160
Speaker 1: was even cut than his pictures. He got along effortlessly

341
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:34,960
Speaker 1: with my friends and even recognized a few from high school.

342
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:37,240
Speaker 1: Coming from a large city. It felt surreal how small

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00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:40,320
Speaker 1: the world could seem. We played bar games, danced, and laughed,

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00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:42,520
Speaker 1: and it ended up being one of the best first

345
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:44,800
Speaker 1: dates I'd had in a long time. When he drove

346
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,200
Speaker 1: me home that night, we had a deeper conversation about

347
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,920
Speaker 1: our values, goals, and what we wanted from life. I

348
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:51,880
Speaker 1: had already told him I plan to move back to

349
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:54,120
Speaker 1: the city at the end of twenty twenty five, once

350
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,960
Speaker 1: my lease ended. Of course, he said the classic line,

351
00:14:57,160 --> 00:15:02,240
Speaker 1: maybe I'll give you a reason to stay. With a laugh,

352
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:05,720
Speaker 1: I rolled my eyes and told him we shall see.

353
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,440
Speaker 1: Over the next month, we kept seeing each other dates,

354
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Speaker 1: jim workouts, and bedroom chemistry included. From the start, he

355
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:16,520
Speaker 1: was clear about wanting something monogamous. I, on the other hand,

356
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,400
Speaker 1: was hesitant. I hadn't been in a serious relationship in

357
00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:22,080
Speaker 1: over three years, and only someone willing to put the

358
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,160
Speaker 1: work in with me would be worth changing that. My

359
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:27,080
Speaker 1: hesitation mostly stemmed from a couple of red flags I

360
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:32,359
Speaker 1: wish I hadn't ignored. Alex had a history of crazy exes.

361
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:36,640
Speaker 1: One left him for a client after starting in of another.

362
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:40,320
Speaker 1: One of his exes was apparently bipolar and ran back

363
00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:42,760
Speaker 1: to her X. I gave him the benefit of the doubt,

364
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:46,200
Speaker 1: since the history sounded messy. Youth and poor choices happened

365
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,320
Speaker 1: to the best of us, and those relationships happened when

366
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:52,040
Speaker 1: he was heavily into the uh noseclams. About a month in,

367
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:55,240
Speaker 1: an old fling of his caught wind of our relationship

368
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,600
Speaker 1: after I tagged him in a post. She publicly called

369
00:15:57,640 --> 00:15:59,960
Speaker 1: him a hypocrite for never allowing her to tag him

370
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:03,000
Speaker 1: I'm posts and threw a few not so subtle jabs

371
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,320
Speaker 1: at my appearance. I brushed it off, chalking it up

372
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:08,240
Speaker 1: to another bitter X, and oddly enough, that drama led

373
00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:10,680
Speaker 1: us to having the what are we talk? When I

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00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,480
Speaker 1: brought up being official. Suddenly he wasn't so sure anymore

375
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,920
Speaker 1: whether he was ready for a commitment, another huge red

376
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,800
Speaker 1: flag that I once again ignored. But after a few

377
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:22,320
Speaker 1: intense conversations, he sent me a Facebook relationship request, a

378
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:26,480
Speaker 1: running joke between us. Despite the warning signs, I eventually accepted.

379
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:29,760
Speaker 1: Things progressed quickly from there. Within a month of being official,

380
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,800
Speaker 1: he was staying over almost every other night. We had

381
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:35,560
Speaker 1: fallen into a comfortable routine of gym knights and shared

382
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:39,320
Speaker 1: dinners and staying over just made sense. Eventually, after a

383
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:42,240
Speaker 1: near accident where he almost ran into a cop car

384
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:44,760
Speaker 1: due to falling asleep at the wheel, I started making

385
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:48,080
Speaker 1: space for him to stay over more permanently. But cohabitation

386
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:51,520
Speaker 1: brought new problems. He hated when I listened to spicy

387
00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:54,720
Speaker 1: audiobooks or talked about my favorite reads. I understood not

388
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:58,480
Speaker 1: everyone enjoys steamy audio, but I expected the same courtesy

389
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:00,400
Speaker 1: I gave him when he went on about call and

390
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:04,320
Speaker 1: niche music. He also hated when I played Okay, story time.

391
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:08,480
Speaker 2: Ah, throw him in the river, get him out with

392
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:13,240
Speaker 2: a life jacket, especially ones involving toxic relationships.

393
00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:16,280
Speaker 1: He said some of the stories brought up traumatic experiences.

394
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:19,800
Speaker 1: In hindsight, maybe he saw too much of himself in

395
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:23,240
Speaker 1: them and didn't enjoy seeing people like him being ripped

396
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:26,199
Speaker 1: apart verbally by the community. Despite the differences in hobbies,

397
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,240
Speaker 1: we tried to make it work. With the gym getting

398
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,840
Speaker 1: busier around the holidays, we started going less and less,

399
00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:33,119
Speaker 1: and I could see this was stressing him out. As

400
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:36,400
Speaker 1: a peace offering, I went in on half and bought

401
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:39,159
Speaker 1: us a three hundred dollars home Jim set up. This

402
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:42,520
Speaker 1: included a bench with a bar, a multifunction weight machine,

403
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:45,639
Speaker 1: and an elliptical off of Marketplace, a total steal. It

404
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,879
Speaker 1: improved his mood until it didn't. He started making backhanded

405
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,879
Speaker 1: comments about my weight gain thanks to quitting vaping and

406
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,719
Speaker 1: starting birth control, both things I did for him, and

407
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:57,560
Speaker 1: lack of motivation in joining. He would say things like,

408
00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,960
Speaker 1: you'll be so hot once you get into a routine,

409
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:03,800
Speaker 1: I won't be able to keep my hands off of oh.

410
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:07,520
Speaker 1: When confronted, he swore it was a compliment. I wasn't convinced,

411
00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:10,879
Speaker 1: especially since he started making more and more excuses to

412
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,879
Speaker 1: skip the horizontal mambo unless it was geared towards his

413
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:18,720
Speaker 1: spicy hobbies or worded as a quick pump and done.

414
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:21,680
Speaker 1: Around that time, I noticed sketchy phone behavior. He would

415
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,160
Speaker 1: angle his screen away or turn off the phone abruptly,

416
00:18:25,359 --> 00:18:28,800
Speaker 1: occasionally switch apps. He claimed he didn't notice he was

417
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:31,399
Speaker 1: doing that and that it was just habit putting the

418
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,960
Speaker 1: phone down to give me attention. At one point he

419
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,560
Speaker 1: even said he was hiding gifts he was researching for me.

420
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,560
Speaker 1: Since this was around the holidays, I let it go,

421
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:41,399
Speaker 1: hoping I was being paranoid since the first few times

422
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,080
Speaker 1: I would catch a glimpse of screen, he would be

423
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:46,080
Speaker 1: doing something innocent, like talking to the boys or scrolling

424
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:49,080
Speaker 1: through funny reels. For a while, things seemed okay again.

425
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:52,160
Speaker 1: He even got more transparent with his phone use. Eventually

426
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:54,480
Speaker 1: I brought up what would happen when my lease ended.

427
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:58,040
Speaker 1: I suggested we rent together something practical, since it was

428
00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:01,080
Speaker 1: too soon for home ownership plus impop in this economy.

429
00:19:01,119 --> 00:19:03,400
Speaker 1: Considering he was already living with me and he had

430
00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:06,040
Speaker 1: expressed many times how he wanted a place with a

431
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:09,160
Speaker 1: garage for his cars, I figured this was a reasonable

432
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:12,840
Speaker 1: compromise rather than extending my lease. He acted surprised and

433
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:15,680
Speaker 1: made a snarky comment that I must be really sure

434
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,000
Speaker 1: he was what I wanted. He saw the look of

435
00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:21,119
Speaker 1: disbelief on my face, and before I could fully ask

436
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:24,600
Speaker 1: if this wasn't what he wanted, he quickly amended his

437
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:27,800
Speaker 1: statement and agreed it made sense. Still, the hesitation lingered,

438
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:29,440
Speaker 1: and I tried to bring it up a couple more

439
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:31,760
Speaker 1: times after to make sure he was alright with it.

440
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,160
Speaker 1: I even reassured him that if things didn't work out,

441
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,520
Speaker 1: we could work it out civilly, and I could always

442
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:39,080
Speaker 1: resume my plan to move to the city. Things then

443
00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:44,480
Speaker 1: started unraveling. Further. Intimacy continued to wane from spicy to lackluster.

444
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,840
Speaker 1: His motivational gym comments returned, and I told him how

445
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,680
Speaker 1: undesirable they made me feel. He blamed it on stress

446
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:53,640
Speaker 1: and financial anxiety and always reassured me that I wasn't

447
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:56,480
Speaker 1: to blame. I always tried being understanding, since I was

448
00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:58,800
Speaker 1: also burnt out and fed up with my current work

449
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:02,680
Speaker 1: situation and the law cold winter. I was hoping once

450
00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:05,880
Speaker 1: spring came, we could get out and things could return

451
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,280
Speaker 1: to how they were at the beginning of our relationship.

452
00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:10,960
Speaker 1: In late January, he reconnected with an old female friend

453
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,800
Speaker 1: who had just left a harmful relationship. He said she'd

454
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,040
Speaker 1: cut off all male friends during that time, but now

455
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:19,000
Speaker 1: that she ended things, she was back trying to reconcile

456
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:21,280
Speaker 1: with her friends. I don't mind female friends, but I

457
00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:25,240
Speaker 1: evaluate them based on behavior. Yes, he had other female

458
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:28,439
Speaker 1: friends he would talk to occasionally, but unlike them, something

459
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:31,080
Speaker 1: about this one rubbed me the wrong way. She would

460
00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:34,840
Speaker 1: invite him over to smoke and even asked him for

461
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,760
Speaker 1: help moving, Yet I was never explicitly included. When I

462
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:41,600
Speaker 1: brought that up, he claimed it was an open invitation,

463
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:44,160
Speaker 1: since she didn't know me and that we'd get along

464
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:47,040
Speaker 1: if we simply met. Still, it felt off since his

465
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,359
Speaker 1: other friends always made it clear they would love to

466
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,880
Speaker 1: meet me. I didn't prohibit him from helping her move,

467
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,760
Speaker 1: but instead reminded him he was already complaining about the

468
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,399
Speaker 1: list of things he needed to get done. He agreed,

469
00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:00,160
Speaker 1: and instead we spent the weekend working on his car

470
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:04,640
Speaker 1: and helping his mother on the farm. What cool activities. Okay,

471
00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:07,640
Speaker 1: he's like a car guy, he's a farm hand.

472
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's that's the only things I've had

473
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:12,399
Speaker 2: more than once.

474
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:16,280
Speaker 1: I found him taking long phone calls with her from

475
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:19,800
Speaker 1: his car, saying she was venting. He insisted on keeping

476
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,919
Speaker 1: her confidence and that it was easier to just finish

477
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:25,240
Speaker 1: the phone call in the car. I knew better. He

478
00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:27,679
Speaker 1: was fine talking to his other female friends around me,

479
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:31,000
Speaker 1: even when they were over sharing about their spicy sleep life.

480
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,200
Speaker 1: I should have ended things there, but he always knew

481
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,879
Speaker 1: just what to say to de escalate things, and I

482
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,520
Speaker 1: didn't want to come off as controlling her pushy. Since

483
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:42,720
Speaker 1: everyone has different boundaries personally, my friends understand any tea

484
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:45,760
Speaker 1: shared with me will also be shared with any partner,

485
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:48,760
Speaker 1: and in turn, I gave them the same liberties. We

486
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:51,640
Speaker 1: had a conversation about it, and he promised to try

487
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:55,240
Speaker 1: to be more open about his conversations with this girl,

488
00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:58,639
Speaker 1: but without going into details that would betray her trust.

489
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,920
Speaker 1: At one point, he shared with me a funny, quote

490
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:05,160
Speaker 1: unquote conversation they had, and I remember alarm bells going

491
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,199
Speaker 1: off in my head. I don't remember the details, but

492
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:10,320
Speaker 1: I remember pressing him for more and him shutting down.

493
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:14,080
Speaker 1: Next day, I asked again for more clarification, and all

494
00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:16,639
Speaker 1: of a sudden, the details of the conversation changed to

495
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,159
Speaker 1: paint himself in a better light. I pointed out the

496
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:22,320
Speaker 1: inconsistencies in his story, but again he had an answer

497
00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:25,400
Speaker 1: for everything, and even tried showing me the text exchange,

498
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:28,159
Speaker 1: but I politely refused. At this point, I think I

499
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,480
Speaker 1: knew things were over if they didn't change, but I

500
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,640
Speaker 1: was holding out hope that things would get better once

501
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:35,399
Speaker 1: it finally started getting warm out again. On top of that,

502
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,040
Speaker 1: I had made a commitment with his mom to help

503
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,240
Speaker 1: at an event about a month out that would also

504
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:43,080
Speaker 1: benefit me in the end. By February, his moods continued

505
00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:45,399
Speaker 1: to fluctuate despite my attempts to try to ease his

506
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:48,480
Speaker 1: stress and work things out. Then one day, the day

507
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:52,440
Speaker 1: of the event, I walked in on him pleasuring himself

508
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:56,320
Speaker 1: from the bathroom. I wasn't mad about that, it happens,

509
00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:58,919
Speaker 1: but I tried to start a conversation about it, curious

510
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,400
Speaker 1: about what kind of spice he was into. He brushed

511
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 1: it off, saying it was, you know, I'm just on

512
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,359
Speaker 1: the hub, and that he already exited out of it,

513
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,479
Speaker 1: and that it was, you know, just the usual stuff.

514
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,680
Speaker 1: But he felt uncomfortable talking about it. We joked about

515
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 1: it a bit and I let it go, even though

516
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:14,679
Speaker 1: it hurt a bit that he was doing that behind

517
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:16,399
Speaker 1: my back. A small part of me wanted to go

518
00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 1: through his phone right then, but anxiety and better judgment

519
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:20,600
Speaker 1: got the better of me. Not to mention. We had

520
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,920
Speaker 1: to finish getting ready to work the event with his

521
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:26,000
Speaker 1: mom that day, but that night the feeling wouldn't leave me,

522
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:29,000
Speaker 1: and two nights later I did the thing I swore

523
00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:31,760
Speaker 1: I wouldn't do and went through his phone. I started

524
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:35,160
Speaker 1: with the conversation with his female friend. Most of it

525
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,880
Speaker 1: was normal yapping, but I came across a part about

526
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:41,119
Speaker 1: me he'd been venting to her about our relationship, calling

527
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:44,120
Speaker 1: me crazy and paranoid, but that it was probably his

528
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,720
Speaker 1: fault since he was being distant and snappy with me.

529
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:49,600
Speaker 1: He told her he had second thoughts about renting together

530
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:51,000
Speaker 1: and didn't know how to bring it up to me.

531
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:53,119
Speaker 1: He also expressed how he would like to go and

532
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:55,280
Speaker 1: smoke with her, but that I wouldn't be up for it.

533
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:58,040
Speaker 1: I'm thirty one and quit the Devil's let us ages ago,

534
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:00,639
Speaker 1: and going to smoke with a young single mother of

535
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 1: two didn't sound like a fun way to pass an evening.

536
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,640
Speaker 1: She joked, she was the one in a controlling relationship now,

537
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:07,879
Speaker 1: and he didn't even try to defend me. Worse, he

538
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 1: kept asking her to call him, so much for her

539
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:13,359
Speaker 1: being the one always reaching out and calling him. I

540
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:15,600
Speaker 1: almost woke him up right then in there. While I

541
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:17,879
Speaker 1: knew what I did was wrong, I figured if his

542
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,040
Speaker 1: mood came from a place of fear, there was still

543
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 1: a chance we could talk things out. Stupid, I know.

544
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,359
Speaker 1: It was almost enough to make me forget about the

545
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 1: bathroom incident, But before waking him, I got a nagging

546
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:30,400
Speaker 1: feeling to check further. In his opened apps, I saw

547
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:32,760
Speaker 1: he had Twitter I don't use that app, so I

548
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:35,160
Speaker 1: was curious and I clicked it, and that's when everything

549
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 1: unraveled further. Here we go, Oh my Atlanta, let's see

550
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:46,320
Speaker 1: it opened up on of his dms were filled with

551
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:52,119
Speaker 1: spicy creators, femboys, spicy workers, you name it. His Twitter

552
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 1: was also filled with nothing but femboys, spice workers, so

553
00:24:56,359 --> 00:25:00,720
Speaker 1: he had been sending these individuals pictures, buying their content,

554
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 1: flirting with them. All of this was a huge betrayal,

555
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:07,439
Speaker 1: especially since I stopped liking book talk thirst traps in

556
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,120
Speaker 1: the beginning of our relationship, since he mentioned they made

557
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 1: him uncomfortable. Up until this moment, I'd tried to stay

558
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 1: level headed and compassionate in the relationship. To compassionate, my

559
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:21,720
Speaker 1: Latina side finally won out, and that's when I lost it.

560
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:25,280
Speaker 1: I yelled, shoved him awake, and confronted him. He stammered,

561
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:29,359
Speaker 1: Thinking back, the look of shock and terror on his

562
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:33,400
Speaker 1: face was a thing of beauty. He tried putting off,

563
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:35,919
Speaker 1: giving me answers, feigning confusion, but I gave him the

564
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:39,760
Speaker 1: ultimatum that he either leaves now for his dad's or

565
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:42,399
Speaker 1: he explains further and I would allow him to crash

566
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:45,239
Speaker 1: on the couch until morning. He claimed that it was

567
00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 1: a compulsive issue, a problem he could not conquer, and

568
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:52,560
Speaker 1: said I'd give him the wake up call he needed,

569
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,679
Speaker 1: quite literally. Apparently. He admitted he was embarrassed about the

570
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,880
Speaker 1: role play he'd requested from the models and was ashamed

571
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:00,879
Speaker 1: to show me the messages. Didn't care about that. I

572
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:02,879
Speaker 1: just wanted the truth on how long it had been

573
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,320
Speaker 1: going on behind my back. According to him, it was

574
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,640
Speaker 1: only for a month or two, but I highly doubt

575
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:09,720
Speaker 1: it was only that recent. He said he didn't view

576
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:13,520
Speaker 1: it as cheating since he didn't respect spicy sleep workers, so

577
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,880
Speaker 1: it wasn't emotional. Yeah, so you're you're really helping yourself

578
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 1: out there, budd He needs therapy so bad. Dude, Buddy

579
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:25,120
Speaker 1: is so much deep seated shame about what he actually

580
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:28,199
Speaker 1: is into that he can't even admit that that's just

581
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 1: what he wants. He's like, actually, I'm doing this because

582
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 1: I hate them, right, So isn't that okay? I don't

583
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 1: respect them at all? They disgusted me. Really, buddy? Can

584
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:38,640
Speaker 1: I say? I'm just saying, do you want to pack

585
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:39,439
Speaker 1: your fart box?

586
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 3: More power to you, and a healthy would come up.

587
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 3: It's okay, it's okay. Holy why do we god be ashamed?

588
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:52,120
Speaker 3: Why do we have to be ashamed? I agree, though,

589
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:53,800
Speaker 3: it's okay. I fully agreed.

590
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:57,000
Speaker 1: If you're trying to pack out your fart box, that's

591
00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:02,160
Speaker 1: not my business. Yeah. See that guy, Yes, right, that's

592
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 1: it right there, except he's except he's on the floor.

593
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,640
Speaker 1: He's been pushed out of the bat that's live POV footage. Yeah,

594
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:10,159
Speaker 1: so it's okay. They'll be insecure and then do all this.

595
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 1: Oh yes, and she did all this stuff. It took

596
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:15,159
Speaker 1: him about another hour to work up the courage to

597
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:17,760
Speaker 1: open his phone and show me his profile. I saw

598
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,160
Speaker 1: how much money he had spent over the years, which

599
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,960
Speaker 1: made me laugh, since he always complained about never having

600
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,200
Speaker 1: enough money. Now I could see why he moved out.

601
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:27,280
Speaker 1: The next day, I admit I was petty and went

602
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,240
Speaker 1: on a bit of a rampage. I chucked all his

603
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:31,239
Speaker 1: stuff in a pile for him to pack up, and

604
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:34,439
Speaker 1: destroyed every sentimental item I had gifted him and the

605
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:36,600
Speaker 1: few he had given me, and threw it on a

606
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:39,600
Speaker 1: pile of his things. I didn't destroy anything important, just

607
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:42,680
Speaker 1: small things that had meaning. He realized what I did

608
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,520
Speaker 1: and was upset. It made him realize just how many

609
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:48,119
Speaker 1: small things I did for him throughout our six months together.

610
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,640
Speaker 1: I also reached out to his female friend and told

611
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 1: her about what I found out and how he manipulated

612
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:56,119
Speaker 1: and gas lit me for the past few months and

613
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:58,199
Speaker 1: essentially made me out to be the bad guy. She

614
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:01,080
Speaker 1: didn't even bother responding. Later, I found out she immediately

615
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 1: messaged him and then proceeded to invite him over that

616
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:06,960
Speaker 1: very night. Oh of course he accepted his excuse. I

617
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,920
Speaker 1: wanted to see if you were right about her hitting

618
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:12,280
Speaker 1: on me. She didn't even try anything. That's gotta be

619
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,800
Speaker 1: one of the dumbest things ever, dude, Like I'm trying to,

620
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:18,640
Speaker 1: like my mind wants to come up with an example

621
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:21,640
Speaker 1: of that that's like like a geopolitical like a World

622
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:25,720
Speaker 1: War II reference or something, but it's not where like, yeah,

623
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:30,480
Speaker 1: it's another FDR reference. It got it before, but totally

624
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:33,439
Speaker 1: totally bombs I did not catch it. I did not

625
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:35,239
Speaker 1: catch it good. I don't know if he really is

626
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:38,320
Speaker 1: this daft or he thinks I am. She never replied

627
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:40,880
Speaker 1: to me, and when he asked her about it, she responded,

628
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 1: I have enough of my own problems to deal with.

629
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:45,800
Speaker 1: I don't want to deal with someone else's having more

630
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 1: problems for yourself, and here you go. Despite my beta judgment,

631
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 1: we stayed in touch for a while. After the breakup.

632
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,560
Speaker 1: He tried saying all the right things. He cut ties

633
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:57,080
Speaker 1: with his female friend after realizing she was just a

634
00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:59,400
Speaker 1: user who didn't even care about what he was going

635
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 1: throughologized and tried putting in the effort I wanted when

636
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:04,800
Speaker 1: we were together, but I was done. My heart was

637
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:07,120
Speaker 1: no longer in it. He moved into an apartment at

638
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 1: his job, only to move back in with his dad

639
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 1: weeks later when the rent turned out higher than expected.

640
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:15,560
Speaker 1: I started dreading his calls, especially since it would interrupt

641
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:21,280
Speaker 1: my new routine of watching my favorite live podcast, Score Yeah.

642
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:24,160
Speaker 1: I became cold and snarky. I was giving him the

643
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:27,040
Speaker 1: same treatment he'd once given me. Eventually, mid argument, I

644
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:29,080
Speaker 1: told him it wasn't going to work. He ignored the

645
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:31,680
Speaker 1: comment and kept talking, which is typical. After that, I

646
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:34,480
Speaker 1: started finding excuses to cut calls short, mentioned a couple

647
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,640
Speaker 1: more times that things weren't going to work, and started

648
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 1: responding less and less to texts every time I brought

649
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:41,840
Speaker 1: it up. He found ways to avoid talking about it,

650
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:44,000
Speaker 1: so I did the petty thing. After going unread for

651
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:46,280
Speaker 1: a day, I sent him a final message, thanking him

652
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:49,160
Speaker 1: for bread crumbing the conversation into non existence, and then

653
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:52,480
Speaker 1: blocked him on everything, or so I thought. I forgot

654
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 1: about Instagram. Oh no, he reached out there, said he

655
00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:58,840
Speaker 1: was just giving me space since I had said things

656
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 1: weren't working and that fail only drama had kept him distracted.

657
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,240
Speaker 1: I told him off one last time, said I was

658
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 1: too grown to be avoiding difficult conversations. And if his

659
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:09,880
Speaker 1: family handles conflict like he does, they're all screwed. And

660
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 1: then I've locked him again. That's like savagely funny. Yeah,

661
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:17,680
Speaker 1: that is That is a great final message. We do

662
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 1: have a little bit more story left, We have any

663
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:21,040
Speaker 1: final thoughts here.

664
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 2: Fellas, I mean, just sometimes people people be sneaking in

665
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,520
Speaker 2: there and then then they they suck.

666
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:30,840
Speaker 1: It's just happened. Sometimes it takes a little time for

667
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:33,440
Speaker 1: it to be revealed. But honestly, like the deceit and

668
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:35,600
Speaker 1: the is all bad, I would not you know, don't

669
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:38,040
Speaker 1: definitely not get bad with this guy. Yeah, that guy's

670
00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:40,040
Speaker 1: the a hole, yes, but it comes from like a

671
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:43,240
Speaker 1: very human place of I think this guy is clearly

672
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 1: into something that he himself doesn't know how to reckon with. Yeah,

673
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:50,240
Speaker 1: he's kind of ashamed of yes, you know, he's like, well,

674
00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:52,640
Speaker 1: I don't respect like he's got a lot going on

675
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:57,400
Speaker 1: psychologically about his own spicy proclivities. Yeah, that he's got

676
00:30:57,440 --> 00:30:57,960
Speaker 1: to work through.

677
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:00,600
Speaker 2: I think it's a great call because like, hey, you

678
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:03,960
Speaker 2: don't deserve to feel like bad about or feel bad

679
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,920
Speaker 2: about yourself. And by feeling bad about it, feeling bad

680
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:09,040
Speaker 2: about yourself, well, look what you're doing to the people

681
00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:12,200
Speaker 2: around you, the people that you supposedly love and care for.

682
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:15,480
Speaker 2: So it's like, hey, except yourself, it's all good, and

683
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:18,480
Speaker 2: then good things will go back into you. It's a beautiful,

684
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:19,400
Speaker 2: virtuous system.

685
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 1: On the other.

686
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:23,160
Speaker 4: Side, it's one big word for this guy, shame.

687
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:30,080
Speaker 1: Shame. Shame, shame. He's shame. He's shamed of himself, and

688
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:32,160
Speaker 1: he kind caused and all kinds of problems for everyone

689
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 1: around him. Yeah, so, but good on you for getting

690
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,719
Speaker 1: out of her poison. Two thumbs up, thumbs up.

691
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:40,640
Speaker 4: I mean it was a giveaway when he wasn't into us.

692
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:42,959
Speaker 1: That's automatic, like just like, how do we get him

693
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 1: in prison? Are you doing that? There's like another color

694
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:47,480
Speaker 1: that's even redder than red, and that's the color.

695
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:50,960
Speaker 4: How can you hate that? Look at that ultra red?

696
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:52,600
Speaker 1: Do you hate that? You're making me think of my

697
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 1: high school bully bully? I'm gonna bully you. I don't

698
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:57,719
Speaker 1: even really get bullied that hard. He just had one

699
00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 1: nickname for me that was brutal. I can't say it.

700
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:03,360
Speaker 1: I would never give that amoor out for free. I

701
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:05,080
Speaker 1: have to be paid a lot of money to put

702
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 1: that out there like that. Let's finish this story. And

703
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 1: that finally was that. I know it was wrong solely

704
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 1: putting the distance on him, since I was the one

705
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:16,120
Speaker 1: detaching myself, but at that point I honestly didn't care.

706
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 1: Whenever I think back on it, I get upset for

707
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:21,200
Speaker 1: being so forgiving for so long. I gave him repeated

708
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 1: chances and let him disrupt the piece I worked on

709
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:25,960
Speaker 1: four years to achieve. In the end, it wasn't even

710
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:30,360
Speaker 1: about the emotional cheating, but the emotional manipulation constantly denied.

711
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 1: And that is the end of that story. Yeah, dude,

712
00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 1: that guy's a manipulator. Yups because he's manipulating his own

713
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:42,960
Speaker 1: stuff too. He's a manipulator, and a manipula Biggar. Hey,

714
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 1: it's Sam. We're gonna get back to the stories, but

715
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:47,400
Speaker 1: here's three minutes of bads from our sponsors. My mother

716
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:51,480
Speaker 1: in law won't drop my husband's ex, so I won't

717
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:53,520
Speaker 1: allow her near my kids.

718
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:57,120
Speaker 5: Around, touch the ground, kick your X out of town oo.

719
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:02,080
Speaker 1: I thirty three female and my husband Tom thirty five male,

720
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 1: have been no contact with most of his family for

721
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 1: three years. Within those three years, I've had twin boys,

722
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 1: which has made my mother in law try to get

723
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:13,560
Speaker 1: back in contact with me. There's a lot of history there,

724
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:15,720
Speaker 1: but here's a brief summary of why Tom and I

725
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,800
Speaker 1: are no contact, and it all revolves around Tom's ex

726
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:22,480
Speaker 1: who will call Talia? And by the way, this comes

727
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:25,360
Speaker 1: from user Oka Disaster seventeen eighty eight, And if you

728
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:26,960
Speaker 1: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

729
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:30,280
Speaker 1: slash Okay story time subrent it. So. I am Indian

730
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:33,360
Speaker 1: American and Tom is white. He comes from a pretty

731
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:37,480
Speaker 1: traditional family and grew up in a small town. Talia

732
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:40,239
Speaker 1: was mother in law's best friend's daughter, and they were

733
00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:45,200
Speaker 1: the small town romance everyone envied. However, upon meeting in college,

734
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 1: Tom and I just clicked on a platonic level and

735
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 1: to be honest, I didn't even have feelings for Tom

736
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 1: until four dates in. I guess you could say he

737
00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:56,080
Speaker 1: had an emotional affair, but he never did anything physically

738
00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 1: romantic until he broke up with Talia. Talia, of course,

739
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:02,240
Speaker 1: remained an contact with his family since she had been,

740
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 1: according to mother in law, the daughter she always wanted.

741
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 1: Keep in mind Tom has a sister, which means she

742
00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:12,319
Speaker 1: has a daughter, just not the one she wanted. But

743
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:15,759
Speaker 1: Talia is more of a homemaker, while my sister in law,

744
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:19,920
Speaker 1: who is an absolute angel, had always been more career focused.

745
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:23,799
Speaker 1: Talia had been at every holiday, family gathering and get

746
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,279
Speaker 1: together since the very start of the relationship, and at

747
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 1: first I paid it no mind. I was civil to

748
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:31,240
Speaker 1: Talia because mother in law made it clear she mattered

749
00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:35,520
Speaker 1: to her, despite Talia's blatant distaste and disrespectful attitude towards me.

750
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 1: That changed. At my weddings, we had two well was

751
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:41,880
Speaker 1: it a secret one and then a public one? Please

752
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:45,400
Speaker 1: please please, and my parents footed the bill for both.

753
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 1: The dress code was simple. Aside from the obvious no

754
00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 1: white and wedding party colors rule, nobody was supposed to

755
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:53,719
Speaker 1: wear red. I am well aware that red means you

756
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:56,960
Speaker 1: slept with the groom. But more importantly, red is a

757
00:34:57,000 --> 00:35:00,680
Speaker 1: bridal color in my culture. I wore I read Lenga

758
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:04,319
Speaker 1: and sorry to my Indian wedding, which she wore an

759
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 1: eggshell off white dress. To keep in mind, white is

760
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:10,880
Speaker 1: worn at funerals to represent purity in my culture.

761
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:11,440
Speaker 5: Interesting.

762
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:14,439
Speaker 1: That got my aunties and cousins talking, but I still

763
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 1: had a blast since I really didn't care. I did

764
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:20,440
Speaker 1: care when she showed up to the American ceremony in

765
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 1: a floor length apple red gown with a slit going

766
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:24,799
Speaker 1: up the leg.

767
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:27,839
Speaker 6: It feels like in a true or false test, if

768
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:31,520
Speaker 6: you get every answer wrong, that means you know the

769
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 6: right answers. She's like, she knows exactly what she's doing.

770
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:36,960
Speaker 6: These are not accidents at all.

771
00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:40,759
Speaker 1: Right, So it was a bridesmaid's dress and it violated

772
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:43,520
Speaker 1: the dress code. My sister in law, along with Tom,

773
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:46,360
Speaker 1: went to tell her to change. She did leave after

774
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:49,799
Speaker 1: having an hushed argument, and came back in a tea

775
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:53,120
Speaker 1: length green gown. I assume she just wanted to see

776
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,880
Speaker 1: if she could get away with it. Apparently my Auntie

777
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:59,720
Speaker 1: saw this too, which meant Talia was subjected to stairs

778
00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:03,400
Speaker 1: withers and backhanded gigglefits throughout my whole American wedding. It

779
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:06,239
Speaker 1: made Talia feel embarrassed, and she cried to mother in law,

780
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:08,200
Speaker 1: who went to me and told me to keep my

781
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:13,120
Speaker 1: kind in line. Whoa YO to this? I crossed my

782
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:16,240
Speaker 1: arms and told her that maybe Talia should have stayed

783
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:18,680
Speaker 1: in her lane, that she knew not to wear red

784
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:22,320
Speaker 1: for multiple but mostly cultural reasons, and it wasn't my fault.

785
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:24,960
Speaker 1: My family is shaming her for it. It isn't my fault.

786
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:28,239
Speaker 1: She became cannon fodder for my gossiping gaggle of a family. Yes,

787
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:30,959
Speaker 1: I said those words, since that is what my aunties are.

788
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:34,840
Speaker 1: Those were the consequences of her actions. Tom and sister

789
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:36,840
Speaker 1: in law backed me up, and mother in law left

790
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:39,920
Speaker 1: with Talia before dessert. The next day, there was a

791
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:42,719
Speaker 1: social media post from Talia crying about how she was

792
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,960
Speaker 1: exiled from her best friend's wedding because the bride was jealous.

793
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 1: I made a post back telling her that she wore red,

794
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:51,239
Speaker 1: knowing how inappropriate it was, how her best friend is

795
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:54,400
Speaker 1: her ex and to not sugarcoat what she did. I

796
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 1: then tagged my mother in law in a separate post

797
00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:00,160
Speaker 1: with screenshots of Talia's post and told her that this

798
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:02,880
Speaker 1: was the last straw that I have been disrespected by

799
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:05,440
Speaker 1: Talia from the very beginning of my relationship. Now that

800
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 1: I was her daughter in law, she needed to keep

801
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:11,440
Speaker 1: Talia away from family events and holidays since she doesn't

802
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:14,279
Speaker 1: respect my husband or me. I didn't care if they

803
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:17,319
Speaker 1: still went on weekly shopping spreeze or spa day's just

804
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 1: keep her away from Christmas and barbecues. Talia removed her

805
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,520
Speaker 1: post after being publicly called out. Mother in law was

806
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:27,000
Speaker 1: good on this compromise until three years ago, after Talia

807
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:29,880
Speaker 1: came to Thanksgiving with a pie in a plastered smile,

808
00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 1: a Thanksgiving that I was hosting. Bruh, who is Talia?

809
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:37,600
Speaker 1: You did such a good job. Ooh, come on? Dingis

810
00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:40,120
Speaker 1: In the context.

811
00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:42,640
Speaker 7: Of the story, Talia is the daughter of the protagonist's

812
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,720
Speaker 7: mother in law's best friend, who was in a romantic

813
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:50,000
Speaker 7: relationship with the protagonist's husband Tom before he started dating Opie.

814
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:51,480
Speaker 1: Which is true.

815
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:54,279
Speaker 4: That's all accurate, actually very accurate. It's just the way

816
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 4: it was word.

817
00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:58,040
Speaker 1: Which it's true. Talia is the daughter of the mother

818
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:01,560
Speaker 1: in law's best friend, so the ex girlfriend of Tom.

819
00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:06,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, look at dingis butt good. Wow.

820
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:09,680
Speaker 1: She said something along the lines of mother in law

821
00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 1: invited me, and I wanted to make sure mother in

822
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,439
Speaker 1: law could actually eat something, since I know you tend

823
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 1: to cook ethnic food. I slammed the door in her face,

824
00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:19,400
Speaker 1: went over to mother in law and told her she

825
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:22,640
Speaker 1: should leave with Talia, who I just slammed the door on.

826
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 1: Tom looked at his mom, who had this deer in

827
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:27,840
Speaker 1: the headlight's look. She tried to sputter excuses, and my

828
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:29,879
Speaker 1: father in law tried to defend my mother in law,

829
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 1: but Tom stood firm. He said they had lost access

830
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:36,839
Speaker 1: to him and any extension of him because they chose Talia.

831
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:39,319
Speaker 1: My in laws, aside from sister in law, left and

832
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:42,760
Speaker 1: we haven't spoken since. Fast forward now, TI. Last week

833
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:44,960
Speaker 1: I got a text from an unknown number and it

834
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 1: was mother in law. She said she saw a picture

835
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:49,920
Speaker 1: of my boys from a mutual friend's post and wanted

836
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:52,800
Speaker 1: to reconcile. She said she'd keep Talia away this time,

837
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:54,879
Speaker 1: and that ever since she got cut off, she's been

838
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 1: in minimal contact with Talia anyway. Her Facebook, however, begs

839
00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:01,680
Speaker 1: to differ. I told her as much, saying I knew

840
00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:04,480
Speaker 1: BS when I smelt it and she made her choice.

841
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 1: I told Tom about it and asked if he missed

842
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:09,680
Speaker 1: his family. He shrugged, saying he doesn't care, and it's

843
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:12,480
Speaker 1: been relieving not having his mom around. He is the

844
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 1: youngest son of three, so he was always the baby boy.

845
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:18,280
Speaker 1: But I have since received texts from my brother in law's,

846
00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 1: their wives and my father in law begging for a

847
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:25,840
Speaker 1: second chance. She always wanted to be a grandma, and

848
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 1: I do feel like I'm robbing her of a chance.

849
00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:31,040
Speaker 1: Her other sons haven't had children yet, and sister in

850
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:33,040
Speaker 1: law cut her off when we did. But you can't

851
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 1: undo nearly a decade of disrespect with wishes and wants,

852
00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:39,920
Speaker 1: and Talia is still in the picture, so I'm skeptical

853
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 1: about how long that promise will last. I feel like

854
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:45,600
Speaker 1: I'm being callous, but there are so many stories I

855
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 1: can tell about Talia's disregard for Tom's boundaries and mine,

856
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:51,320
Speaker 1: and I don't want to welcome a storm into my

857
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:53,480
Speaker 1: house by opening up the gates. Am I the a

858
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,480
Speaker 1: hole for telling my mother in law she made her

859
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:58,560
Speaker 1: choice after she kept my husband's ex around. Let's ask

860
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 1: dinga spot. Why did Tom and Talia break up? Tom

861
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,680
Speaker 1: and Palia broke up because Tom developed emotional feelings for

862
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:06,800
Speaker 1: the narrator even though he was in a relationship with Talia.

863
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:08,120
Speaker 1: This emotional bond led to their.

864
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:09,160
Speaker 5: Break So it did break up.

865
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:14,200
Speaker 6: I wonder like if Tom was actually over Talia, Like

866
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:18,040
Speaker 6: if it was you know, like right, I mean, because

867
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:21,759
Speaker 6: if you'd end a relationship to join another, I feel

868
00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:23,880
Speaker 6: like you still need that time, even if you kind

869
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 6: of lost.

870
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:26,359
Speaker 5: Feelings for that first person. I feel like you still need.

871
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:28,919
Speaker 6: Time to process a kind of breakup before you get

872
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:30,719
Speaker 6: into a full other relationship, you know.

873
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:34,120
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, but I think there was maybe.

874
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:35,400
Speaker 6: A little bit, a little bit of time before they

875
00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:37,680
Speaker 6: like officially started Dayton.

876
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:39,560
Speaker 1: Well, I know, they definitely dated for a long time

877
00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:41,520
Speaker 1: before they got married. Okay, it'd been years, So.

878
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:42,640
Speaker 5: What's the problem here?

879
00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:45,200
Speaker 1: The mother in law kept the ex girlfriend around the

880
00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:47,520
Speaker 1: whole time, to the point where she's at the wedding

881
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:50,200
Speaker 1: trying to basically like upstage op and being like I'm

882
00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:52,279
Speaker 1: wearing red and doing this and doing that right, and

883
00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:55,840
Speaker 1: uh yeah, I think, mother in law, you live with

884
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:58,960
Speaker 1: your decisions. There's an edit here, since there seems to

885
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,960
Speaker 1: be some confusion, I want to clarify Tom did not

886
00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:05,280
Speaker 1: cheat on Talia with me. Tom broke up with Talia

887
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:09,399
Speaker 1: after a few platonic hangouts with me. That is why

888
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:12,200
Speaker 1: I said you could call it an emotional affair, because

889
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:16,640
Speaker 1: you could argue it was one loosely interesting. Tom only

890
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 1: asked me out after he broke up with Talia, and

891
00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 1: I accepted after he confirmed via text that he had

892
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:26,000
Speaker 1: broken up with her while visiting home for the weekend.

893
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:29,680
Speaker 1: There was no overlap between Talia's relationship and mine with Tom.

894
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:32,280
Speaker 1: So for everyone who thinks I was the other woman

895
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 1: and the reason my mother in law hates me is

896
00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:38,719
Speaker 1: because Tom cheated on Talia. No, he didn't. Wrong comments

897
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:40,759
Speaker 1: number one not the a hole. Mother in law made

898
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:43,839
Speaker 1: her choice. She said she changed, but you can see

899
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:46,800
Speaker 1: that she hasn't on Facebook, so she doesn't deserve another chance.

900
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 1: There's no endless chances clause, no auto forgiveness clause, or

901
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:55,000
Speaker 1: the right to be included for anyone or family. If

902
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:57,680
Speaker 1: you don't behave you don't get to be included. When

903
00:41:57,719 --> 00:41:59,239
Speaker 1: you get the chance to tell mother in law she

904
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:03,000
Speaker 1: can be grandma to Talia's kids, OP says, you're absolutely right.

905
00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:06,200
Speaker 1: Talia made cryptic posts about my mother in law being

906
00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:09,239
Speaker 1: a bonus grammy when she eventually moved on. This was

907
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:12,719
Speaker 1: on a Mother's Day post midway into Tom's and mine's relationship.

908
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:14,839
Speaker 1: Like the flags were waving in my face, but I

909
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:17,200
Speaker 1: sucked it up back then since I didn't want to

910
00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:19,360
Speaker 1: make waves. I kind of regret it, but kind of

911
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:22,400
Speaker 1: do since it showed my character versus hers. I really

912
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 1: did want to make it work. Shake in my head.

913
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:27,360
Speaker 1: Come at number two. The best part of the story

914
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:29,560
Speaker 1: is how Tom is standing by you all the way

915
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:32,120
Speaker 1: and seems relieved and not deal with his mom's bull

916
00:42:32,239 --> 00:42:34,920
Speaker 1: The worst part is the daughter she always wanted when

917
00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:37,880
Speaker 1: she has an actual daughter. Mother in law is a

918
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:40,400
Speaker 1: serious a hole. Do you really want her in your

919
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:43,239
Speaker 1: kids lives for the brief period while she behaves and

920
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:45,560
Speaker 1: then try to explain what happened to grandma when you

921
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:48,040
Speaker 1: have to shut her out again? Ohpi says, good point,

922
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:50,759
Speaker 1: and yes, Tom and my sister in law are God sends.

923
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:53,319
Speaker 1: Sister in law is an amazing aunt. She spoils my

924
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:56,319
Speaker 1: boys rotten and so does my family. I don't need

925
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:58,400
Speaker 1: mother in law in my life. I just felt as

926
00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:00,960
Speaker 1: a mom being robbed of being a grandma would hurt

927
00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:03,960
Speaker 1: my confidence took a plummet postpartum, so I tend to

928
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:07,280
Speaker 1: overthink now and that is the end of that story.

929
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:09,840
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's really disappointing because part of me is thinking,

930
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:11,960
Speaker 6: like if this was still early on in the relationship,

931
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:14,720
Speaker 6: it seems like mom just needs to have her grieving

932
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:17,600
Speaker 6: process of the relationship, like of the Tom and Talia

933
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 6: relationship being over.

934
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:19,759
Speaker 5: But this is like years in.

935
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's been so the whole time, she's just been like, well,

936
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 1: this is the daughter that I recognize, the daughter I've

937
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:31,760
Speaker 1: always wanted. Shut up, actual daughta, go back into the basement.

938
00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:35,360
Speaker 5: Right right, Like that's what are we talking. That's really disappointing,

939
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:37,160
Speaker 5: But that is the end of that story.

940
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:41,240
Speaker 6: My sister in law refuses to respect my wedding plans,

941
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:41,840
Speaker 6: so I.

942
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:44,480
Speaker 5: Removed her control all delete.

943
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:46,920
Speaker 6: In my culture, the maid of honor and best man

944
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:49,840
Speaker 6: are supposed to be a married couple. Interesting that seems

945
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:52,520
Speaker 6: hard to find. We don't have very many of married friends,

946
00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:54,560
Speaker 6: and we were close with my fiancee sister and her

947
00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:56,640
Speaker 6: husband at the time, so we planned our bridal party,

948
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:59,160
Speaker 6: so it seemed obvious that we should ask them. They

949
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:01,319
Speaker 6: were very happy when we ask them and agreed to

950
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:03,279
Speaker 6: take on the role. By the way, this comes from

951
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:05,280
Speaker 6: deleted and if you want to submit your own stories,

952
00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:07,480
Speaker 6: go to our slush Okay storytime and sepred it. So

953
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:10,840
Speaker 6: I have six total bridesmaids, including my fiance's older sister

954
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:13,440
Speaker 6: as well. I am purchasing all of the bridesmaid's dresses

955
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,880
Speaker 6: except for his two sisters, as they insisted that they

956
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:17,680
Speaker 6: want to buy their own so that they can get

957
00:44:17,719 --> 00:44:20,239
Speaker 6: something very nice and expensive. I'm totally fine with this

958
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:23,279
Speaker 6: because our wedding is black tie and the other bridesmaids

959
00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 6: will be.

960
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:25,160
Speaker 5: Wearing elegant gowns as well.

961
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:28,120
Speaker 6: His sister maid of honor has become a huge pain,

962
00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:30,759
Speaker 6: but as we got closer to the wedding, I know

963
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:33,719
Speaker 6: that she has been bullying my future husband because he

964
00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:36,400
Speaker 6: is a pushover. But he is finally finding his voice

965
00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:39,040
Speaker 6: to speak up and say no what it is appropriate.

966
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:41,040
Speaker 6: I'm going to list out all the things below so

967
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:43,799
Speaker 6: this post doesn't get too long. My parents are paying

968
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:45,680
Speaker 6: for the bulk of our wedding, but my fiance is

969
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:47,840
Speaker 6: taking care of the florist so we can do something

970
00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:48,480
Speaker 6: very nice.

971
00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 5: She keeps telling me that she.

972
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:53,040
Speaker 6: Will plan the flowers with absolutely no experience because we

973
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:55,759
Speaker 6: shouldn't spend so much. She is aware that this is

974
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:58,400
Speaker 6: one thing that my fiance is paying for. She refuses

975
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:01,160
Speaker 6: to look at made of honor gowns in the correct shade.

976
00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 6: I chose a deep red color for all of the

977
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:06,160
Speaker 6: bridal party gowns, and she keeps showing bright red options

978
00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:08,200
Speaker 6: and trying to convince me that she could wear a

979
00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:09,800
Speaker 6: different color because she is made of honor.

980
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:11,520
Speaker 5: No, that's not correct.

981
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:13,640
Speaker 1: I mean is doesn't that happen sometimes?

982
00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:14,879
Speaker 5: Though sometimes it can.

983
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:18,000
Speaker 6: But if the bride doesn't want that though of course, yes, yeah,

984
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:19,880
Speaker 6: he will be perfectly.

985
00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:23,439
Speaker 5: How dare you bring that wedding just the white day?

986
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:24,360
Speaker 1: Right?

987
00:45:24,719 --> 00:45:27,760
Speaker 6: My cousin bought her dress first and showed my fiance's family.

988
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:30,040
Speaker 6: The sister said, oh, that's nice, but she is going

989
00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:32,600
Speaker 6: to get something even better because she is made of honor.

990
00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:35,480
Speaker 6: She's bringing her husband and their children to my bachelorette

991
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:38,279
Speaker 6: because her three year old can't sleep without her. She

992
00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:41,000
Speaker 6: did not clear this with me prior, and I would

993
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:43,000
Speaker 6: have urged her to just stay home if it was

994
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:45,840
Speaker 6: going to be too difficult. I find this extremely strange.

995
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:49,520
Speaker 6: She invited them without asking. The oldest sisters started dating

996
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:52,400
Speaker 6: someone one month ago and our wedding is in two months.

997
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:55,960
Speaker 6: The middle sister told me that the oldest sister's new boyfriend,

998
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:57,920
Speaker 6: who we have never met, is going to be in

999
00:45:57,960 --> 00:46:01,120
Speaker 6: our bridal party. I told her absolutely, and she said, well,

1000
00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:02,960
Speaker 6: the older sister won't be in the wedding. Then I

1001
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:06,320
Speaker 6: told her that I'm fine with that. My fiance absolutely

1002
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:08,440
Speaker 6: does not want the new boyfriend and his party, and

1003
00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:10,960
Speaker 6: confronted the older sister about this. The oldest sister had

1004
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:13,239
Speaker 6: no idea the middle one was even suggesting this, and

1005
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 6: she agreed that it would be weird to ask her

1006
00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:18,160
Speaker 6: new boyfriend to be in our bridal party. To be clear,

1007
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 6: he is still invited as a plus one. He just

1008
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:21,840
Speaker 6: won't be standing up at the alshra with us. The

1009
00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:24,000
Speaker 6: middle sister and my fiance's mom told us that we

1010
00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:26,360
Speaker 6: are rude for not changing the bridal party to allow

1011
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:27,239
Speaker 6: the new boyfriend.

1012
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:30,680
Speaker 1: Oh are you rude? Oh so rude. Why don't you

1013
00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:32,799
Speaker 1: go have your own wedding and you can invite him.

1014
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:36,160
Speaker 6: Yeah, exactly. I told the middle sister that we extended.

1015
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:37,480
Speaker 5: The dates of the bachelorette by one day if she

1016
00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:38,480
Speaker 5: would like to stay longer.

1017
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:38,879
Speaker 1: With us.

1018
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:41,360
Speaker 6: Prior to knowing that she was bringing her entire family.

1019
00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:43,600
Speaker 6: She let me know that her and the other sister

1020
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:46,239
Speaker 6: planned to go bridesmaid dress shopping the same day we

1021
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:48,480
Speaker 6: got back from the bachelorette. They never let me know

1022
00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:50,880
Speaker 6: about this shopping date, which is rude in my opinion,

1023
00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:53,520
Speaker 6: as I have made an effort to be inclusive with

1024
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:55,600
Speaker 6: them by inviting them to be in the bridal party

1025
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:56,960
Speaker 6: and to all of the events.

1026
00:46:57,120 --> 00:46:59,120
Speaker 5: My fiance called the oldest sister to let her know

1027
00:46:59,160 --> 00:46:59,600
Speaker 5: that it's.

1028
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:02,360
Speaker 6: Not okay that they planned bridesmaid dress shopping without me,

1029
00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:04,440
Speaker 6: and they are not going to be picking their dresses

1030
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:06,799
Speaker 6: without my approval. The oldest sister let him know that

1031
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 6: the date was not set in stone, and she agreed

1032
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:10,680
Speaker 6: to change it so that I would be able to

1033
00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:13,000
Speaker 6: make it. I texted them as well, and the oldest

1034
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 6: sister agreed that we will all go together. However, the

1035
00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:18,160
Speaker 6: other sister had never replied. Also to add on, I

1036
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:20,600
Speaker 6: have a wedding planner who is taking care of everything,

1037
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:23,160
Speaker 6: and my mom's best friends planned my bridal shower, so

1038
00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:25,040
Speaker 6: there is really nothing for the bridal party to do

1039
00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:27,600
Speaker 6: besides show up. I have a hard time asking people

1040
00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:29,600
Speaker 6: to show up for me, So I'm not putting any

1041
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:32,160
Speaker 6: pressure on anyone in the party. Everyone else has been

1042
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:35,319
Speaker 6: great besides my one future sister in law. I just

1043
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:37,759
Speaker 6: wanted to vent about burdening people in my life who

1044
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:39,880
Speaker 6: are not interested. Thank you so much for your input

1045
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:42,759
Speaker 6: if you have read this far, and congratulations to all

1046
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:44,760
Speaker 6: of the other brides, and we do have an update.

1047
00:47:44,840 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 5: What do I think about this sister so far?

1048
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:51,719
Speaker 1: I just can't wait for her to not be involved

1049
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:56,320
Speaker 1: in this. Yeah, I really really like and it's so refreshing.

1050
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:58,759
Speaker 1: I hope I can't. I can't wait to experience it.

1051
00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:01,319
Speaker 1: But I know she's getting kicked out. She's got to be.

1052
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:05,239
Speaker 1: You don't get in line behind the general. Let's make

1053
00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:08,480
Speaker 1: this about the military now. Yeah, the general of the

1054
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:09,720
Speaker 1: wedding is the bride.

1055
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 5: Absolutely, room, we need no us.

1056
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:17,000
Speaker 1: Against their orders. You will be held in contempt, yes,

1057
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:18,480
Speaker 1: in a military court.

1058
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:19,640
Speaker 5: Absolutely.

1059
00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:23,840
Speaker 1: Yeah. It just it's not your day. Yeah, freaking relax. Relax.

1060
00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:28,120
Speaker 1: And also, if if you know, make your wedding whatever

1061
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:29,279
Speaker 1: you want it to be. If you want someone to

1062
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:31,080
Speaker 1: be your maid of honor and it's like you're not married,

1063
00:48:31,239 --> 00:48:38,400
Speaker 1: I don't care, make them you're made of honor. Whatever

1064
00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:39,000
Speaker 1: you want.

1065
00:48:39,239 --> 00:48:42,080
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's like, is it would it be better to,

1066
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:45,640
Speaker 6: you know, have the cultural like tradition and then have

1067
00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:47,799
Speaker 6: a terrible made of honor or ignore.

1068
00:48:47,520 --> 00:48:49,800
Speaker 5: The tradition, have a great made of honor. What's swoon?

1069
00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:52,239
Speaker 1: What do we want to do? Come on, we do

1070
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:52,880
Speaker 1: have an update.

1071
00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:56,120
Speaker 6: So my bachelorette was this past weekend, and my future

1072
00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:59,360
Speaker 6: sisters in law attempted to make the weekend about themselves

1073
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:03,240
Speaker 6: as usual. In addition to my fiance's middle sister bringing

1074
00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:05,840
Speaker 6: along her husband and the two kids, the oldest sister

1075
00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:08,160
Speaker 6: brought her new boyfriend and let us know at the

1076
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:12,040
Speaker 6: last second. Oh yes, apparently her new boyfriend was coming

1077
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:15,279
Speaker 6: along to keep the other sister's husband company since they

1078
00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:17,719
Speaker 6: were supposed to be away from the bachelorette events. I

1079
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:20,640
Speaker 6: messaged both sisters when we started driving to Vegas, and

1080
00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:22,360
Speaker 6: I didn't hear back from them. I arrived at the

1081
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:24,799
Speaker 6: hotel and let my fiance know our room number to

1082
00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:27,480
Speaker 6: pass along to his sister, and I later saw in

1083
00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:29,879
Speaker 6: his text that she responded to him right away.

1084
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:32,719
Speaker 5: At this point, neither of them had communicated anything to me.

1085
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:34,879
Speaker 6: I wanted everyone to meet in the main hotel room,

1086
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:38,160
Speaker 6: which my other bridesmaids spent hours decorating, and because I

1087
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:41,240
Speaker 6: had put together gift bags full of weekend essential items.

1088
00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:43,600
Speaker 6: They failed to show up early enough before dinner on

1089
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:45,600
Speaker 6: the first night, so we just had to meet them

1090
00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:46,200
Speaker 6: in the lobby.

1091
00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:47,719
Speaker 5: They let us know that they would text us when

1092
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:49,040
Speaker 5: they would be coming out with us.

1093
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:51,120
Speaker 6: After dinner, the rest of us went back to the

1094
00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:53,560
Speaker 6: main hotel room and waited for an hour before I

1095
00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:55,920
Speaker 6: texted them to see if they were coming. Apparently they

1096
00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:58,920
Speaker 6: had decided not to come out because they were tired,

1097
00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:01,200
Speaker 6: although I'm a sou that they went out with their

1098
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:04,879
Speaker 6: partners instead. The whole weekend continued like this, with them

1099
00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:08,160
Speaker 6: being non responsive and not participating. I'm honestly not sure

1100
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:10,359
Speaker 6: why they even came anyway. As I'm driving back from

1101
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:12,960
Speaker 6: the bachelorette around eight pm on Sunday night, the oldest

1102
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:15,600
Speaker 6: sister calls me and lets me know that she's going

1103
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:18,839
Speaker 6: bridesmaid dress shopping tomorrow at eleven am. She literally she

1104
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:20,880
Speaker 6: was like, yeah, I'll let you know, we can coordinate that,

1105
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:22,479
Speaker 6: and then she's like okay.

1106
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:23,799
Speaker 5: In eight hours she.

1107
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:26,120
Speaker 1: Like it's like, hey, by the way, I hope you're

1108
00:50:26,160 --> 00:50:26,960
Speaker 1: not busy.

1109
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:31,040
Speaker 5: In yeah, like a meal, Yeah exactly.

1110
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 6: I told her I have an appointment and asked if

1111
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:35,160
Speaker 6: we can go after and she said no, that's the

1112
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:37,320
Speaker 6: only possible time that she can go before she heads

1113
00:50:37,360 --> 00:50:39,239
Speaker 6: back to her house out of state. I let her

1114
00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:41,279
Speaker 6: know that she will still have to send pictures of

1115
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:43,799
Speaker 6: anything before she buys it, and she agrees. I'm a

1116
00:50:43,800 --> 00:50:46,640
Speaker 6: bit peeved at this point, since I was with them

1117
00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:49,160
Speaker 6: all weekend and she waited until less than twenty four

1118
00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:51,520
Speaker 6: hours in advance to let me know about dress shopping.

1119
00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:53,640
Speaker 6: I texted her the next day and said, on the

1120
00:50:53,719 --> 00:50:55,760
Speaker 6: second thought, it would be better if we went the next.

1121
00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:57,279
Speaker 5: Day, when I would be able to join.

1122
00:50:57,400 --> 00:50:59,480
Speaker 6: She replied and said that they were actually not even

1123
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:02,080
Speaker 6: going shop that day since she had decided to stay

1124
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:04,720
Speaker 6: in Vegas longer with her boyfriend and they were still

1125
00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:07,279
Speaker 6: driving back. I was annoyed since she made it out

1126
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:09,120
Speaker 6: like that was the only possible time that she could

1127
00:51:09,160 --> 00:51:11,719
Speaker 6: go dress shopping, but also believed now that I would

1128
00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:12,359
Speaker 6: be able to go with.

1129
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:14,480
Speaker 5: Since her style is very ugly.

1130
00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:17,040
Speaker 6: Bride typically picks out all the bride's maid dresses, so

1131
00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:19,239
Speaker 6: I was worried that she would pick something hideous and

1132
00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:22,120
Speaker 6: it would actually look like I forced her into whatever ugly.

1133
00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:22,600
Speaker 5: Dress she picks.

1134
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:26,600
Speaker 1: She just picks like a court gesture's outfit from the

1135
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:28,239
Speaker 1: Vile Times exactly.

1136
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:31,520
Speaker 6: Anyway, I never heard back from her after I said, oh, good,

1137
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:33,560
Speaker 6: that will work better in response to her saying that

1138
00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:35,279
Speaker 6: they would be going dress shopping the next day.

1139
00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:37,799
Speaker 5: The next day rolls around and at eleven am.

1140
00:51:37,560 --> 00:51:39,560
Speaker 6: I received a picture of her in the most hideous

1141
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:40,480
Speaker 6: dress I've ever seen.

1142
00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:41,719
Speaker 5: She asked, is.

1143
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:43,640
Speaker 6: This the right color? And I said yes, But I

1144
00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:45,320
Speaker 6: thought I was coming along with dress shopping.

1145
00:51:45,440 --> 00:51:45,880
Speaker 1: Oof.

1146
00:51:46,120 --> 00:51:48,960
Speaker 6: She said I was unclear about wanting to come, and

1147
00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:52,239
Speaker 6: I said pictures were fine. I told her, okay, at

1148
00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:55,200
Speaker 6: this point, get whatever you want, because I'm honestly just

1149
00:51:55,280 --> 00:51:58,520
Speaker 6: over both of my fiance's raggedy BT sisters. Mind you,

1150
00:51:58,560 --> 00:52:00,359
Speaker 6: these women are a decade older than me, so I'm

1151
00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:02,120
Speaker 6: especially shocked by their immature behavior.

1152
00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:04,400
Speaker 5: Oh did she act like my comment was the end

1153
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:05,280
Speaker 5: of the world.

1154
00:52:05,719 --> 00:52:07,960
Speaker 6: She sent me a text so long that I had

1155
00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:12,040
Speaker 6: to scroll through it, calling me disrespectful multiple times. I

1156
00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:15,120
Speaker 6: told her, absolutely not, you are the disrespectful one here.

1157
00:52:15,320 --> 00:52:17,720
Speaker 6: As the bride, I should not be begging to insert

1158
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:20,680
Speaker 6: myself in a bride'smaid dress shopping multiple times. It should

1159
00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:22,839
Speaker 6: be common sense that I want to participate in all

1160
00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:25,480
Speaker 6: of my wedding related events, which includes.

1161
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:27,600
Speaker 5: Bridesmaid dress shopping. And there is a little bit more

1162
00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:28,160
Speaker 5: to the story.

1163
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:30,080
Speaker 6: But what do we think I think is she can

1164
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:33,760
Speaker 6: mooted dude, Like, I feel like this is where that's heading.

1165
00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:36,640
Speaker 1: I'm not a wedding year. I'm not a weddinger yep,

1166
00:52:37,800 --> 00:52:39,920
Speaker 1: but a wedding year. Like, I'm like, all right, this

1167
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:42,200
Speaker 1: is all we gotta figure this out because this is

1168
00:52:42,440 --> 00:52:46,719
Speaker 1: the wrong like the wrong people are in charge of things. Yeah. Yeah,

1169
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:50,040
Speaker 1: so those you know, if the bride'smaid dresses are horrific,

1170
00:52:50,200 --> 00:52:52,279
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, we're not doing that.

1171
00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:57,600
Speaker 6: Yeah, And I'm yeah, and this reaction to conflict and confrontation,

1172
00:52:57,719 --> 00:53:00,320
Speaker 6: I would just be like, okay, so no, I'm not

1173
00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:04,080
Speaker 6: being disrespectful. I don't like what's happening right now. I

1174
00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:06,080
Speaker 6: don't want you to be a bridesmaid anymore. You can

1175
00:53:06,120 --> 00:53:07,520
Speaker 6: wear what you want because you're not going to be

1176
00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:08,040
Speaker 6: standing up.

1177
00:53:08,120 --> 00:53:11,600
Speaker 1: So yeah, I think if you're planning a wedding, yep,

1178
00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:14,359
Speaker 1: and one of your you know, that maid of honor

1179
00:53:14,360 --> 00:53:17,279
Speaker 1: who's supposed to be your right hand is like it's

1180
00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:21,960
Speaker 1: coming to you. Gotta just get rid of it. Get

1181
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:23,440
Speaker 1: a right hand that's going to help.

1182
00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:28,200
Speaker 6: You exactly, fight, fight back, exactly exactly. There's a little

1183
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:30,160
Speaker 6: bit more to the story, so let's finish it all up.

1184
00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:32,640
Speaker 6: My fiance called her later on and it came out

1185
00:53:32,719 --> 00:53:34,640
Speaker 6: that she was pissed that we had denied her new

1186
00:53:34,719 --> 00:53:37,319
Speaker 6: boyfriend a spot in the wedding party. As of now,

1187
00:53:37,440 --> 00:53:40,080
Speaker 6: she stepped down from being a bridesmaid, and she's blaming

1188
00:53:40,120 --> 00:53:42,760
Speaker 6: it on me being picky about the dress shopping. Anyways,

1189
00:53:42,800 --> 00:53:44,760
Speaker 6: I could really give two craps to what she's blaming

1190
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:47,320
Speaker 6: it on. I'm happy her negative energy won't be affecting

1191
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:50,160
Speaker 6: my day. I'm so done with trying to please his family.

1192
00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:51,920
Speaker 6: That is the end of that story. She didn't even

1193
00:53:51,960 --> 00:53:53,680
Speaker 6: need to kick her out. Trash took itself out.

1194
00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:56,480
Speaker 1: Trash took itself out all right, good because if you

1195
00:53:56,560 --> 00:53:58,200
Speaker 1: did kick her out then it would probably start a

1196
00:53:58,239 --> 00:54:02,160
Speaker 1: whole thing of like, ooh, you such a power hung

1197
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:07,120
Speaker 1: We love right, And it's like no, I just my

1198
00:54:07,280 --> 00:54:08,279
Speaker 1: right hand's fighting me.

1199
00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:10,719
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like now in this situation, you're like, this isn't

1200
00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:12,719
Speaker 5: this isn't up to me. I can't be blamed here?

1201
00:54:12,880 --> 00:54:15,239
Speaker 1: Can I have to be blamed? Just ever called for

1202
00:54:15,400 --> 00:54:18,399
Speaker 1: Italian hands. It's like, what are we doing?

1203
00:54:18,719 --> 00:54:18,919
Speaker 5: Yeah?

1204
00:54:19,200 --> 00:54:23,120
Speaker 1: I didn't do that. You didn't I didn't. I Oh,

1205
00:54:23,239 --> 00:54:24,880
Speaker 1: thank you? Tom Tom sent me?

1206
00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:26,200
Speaker 5: Okay, Tom Tom.

1207
00:54:26,560 --> 00:54:29,920
Speaker 1: Cool. But that is the end of that story. Hey,

1208
00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:32,160
Speaker 1: it's Sam. We'll get back to the stories. But here's

1209
00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:34,719
Speaker 1: three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My mother in

1210
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:38,120
Speaker 1: law leaked our baby's gender. We wanted to keep it

1211
00:54:38,239 --> 00:54:41,840
Speaker 1: a surprised Oh my gosh, spoiler alert on the gender.

1212
00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:45,560
Speaker 1: What So I, twenty six female, and my husband thirty

1213
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:48,640
Speaker 1: two male, married for two years, together for five aren't

1214
00:54:48,640 --> 00:54:51,520
Speaker 1: expecting our first child. We are both thrilled and excited

1215
00:54:51,560 --> 00:54:55,040
Speaker 1: for our new arrival. I am not fussed on the

1216
00:54:55,120 --> 00:54:57,160
Speaker 1: gender of my baby, and neither is my husband. We

1217
00:54:57,320 --> 00:54:59,400
Speaker 1: just want a healthy and happy baby. Thus, we have

1218
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:02,040
Speaker 1: not found out the gender. Rather, we want a surprise,

1219
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:04,759
Speaker 1: or at least I thought. By the way, this comes

1220
00:55:04,800 --> 00:55:08,440
Speaker 1: from user weird Fishermen ninety six thirty eight, and if

1221
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:09,920
Speaker 1: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

1222
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:13,080
Speaker 1: r slash okay storytime subreddit. So I had a pretty

1223
00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:15,600
Speaker 1: good relationship with my mother in law. Thus I have

1224
00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:18,640
Speaker 1: been updating her on my progress, giving her the ultrasound

1225
00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:21,480
Speaker 1: images and so on and so forth. I'm about eight

1226
00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:24,360
Speaker 1: months in not long ago now, and my mother in

1227
00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:28,760
Speaker 1: law has been aching to know that gender, constantly asking

1228
00:55:28,920 --> 00:55:31,759
Speaker 1: if we have changed our minds, and time after time

1229
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:33,920
Speaker 1: my husband and I say our minds are set on

1230
00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:37,600
Speaker 1: a surprise. However, this all changed recently. We live in

1231
00:55:37,680 --> 00:55:40,680
Speaker 1: a small town. I had some mutual family friends approach

1232
00:55:40,719 --> 00:55:43,040
Speaker 1: me in the middle of the supermarket and congratulate me

1233
00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:45,560
Speaker 1: and my husband on having a baby and how exciting

1234
00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:47,239
Speaker 1: it is to have a little bully.

1235
00:55:48,480 --> 00:55:48,960
Speaker 6: The boy.

1236
00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:53,239
Speaker 1: First, I was taken aback and expressed that we do

1237
00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:55,160
Speaker 1: not know the gender of the baby. That's where the

1238
00:55:55,239 --> 00:55:58,560
Speaker 1: family friends reply that, oh, yes, mother in law told

1239
00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:01,279
Speaker 1: us it was a boy. I didn't say anything at

1240
00:56:01,360 --> 00:56:03,800
Speaker 1: that time. I just smiled and turned to my husband

1241
00:56:03,840 --> 00:56:05,759
Speaker 1: and kind of just went, you need to investigate this.

1242
00:56:06,360 --> 00:56:08,800
Speaker 1: He called his mother asked for an explanation, and she

1243
00:56:08,920 --> 00:56:11,960
Speaker 1: explained that she asked her friend, showed images of the

1244
00:56:12,040 --> 00:56:14,879
Speaker 1: ultrasound and she confirmed it was a boy. My mother

1245
00:56:14,960 --> 00:56:18,200
Speaker 1: in law has gone and told everyone. I'm furious that

1246
00:56:18,440 --> 00:56:22,600
Speaker 1: I the mother am finding this out last when I

1247
00:56:22,760 --> 00:56:25,000
Speaker 1: did not even want to know in the first place.

1248
00:56:25,239 --> 00:56:28,000
Speaker 1: My husband questioned her and was told that I just

1249
00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:30,360
Speaker 1: wanted to know and I couldn't keep it to myself.

1250
00:56:30,520 --> 00:56:33,080
Speaker 1: My husband cussed her out furiously, explaining that it was

1251
00:56:33,160 --> 00:56:36,880
Speaker 1: not okay. I then grabbed the phone and a laid

1252
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:40,920
Speaker 1: into her, expressing my deep disappointment and anger in how

1253
00:56:41,040 --> 00:56:43,480
Speaker 1: I don't want to see her for a while. My

1254
00:56:43,640 --> 00:56:46,640
Speaker 1: husband completely shares and supports my anger. However, my two

1255
00:56:46,719 --> 00:56:49,440
Speaker 1: sister in laws and two brother in laws called me

1256
00:56:49,600 --> 00:56:52,040
Speaker 1: the A hole and expressed that I shouldn't talk to

1257
00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:56,040
Speaker 1: her like that. She's very upset about this. You overreacted.

1258
00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:59,759
Speaker 1: It's not even that bad. My husband completely supports me

1259
00:57:00,239 --> 00:57:02,839
Speaker 1: in this, but I find it strange that no other

1260
00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:06,120
Speaker 1: family members have contacted him and called him the A hole.

1261
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:09,680
Speaker 1: Maybe I did overreact. I would love any constructive feedback.

1262
00:57:09,880 --> 00:57:13,080
Speaker 1: So am I the A hole? And there is an update.

1263
00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:16,120
Speaker 1: We live in Australia, so we have a privacy act

1264
00:57:16,240 --> 00:57:20,240
Speaker 1: called APPS or APPS nice. I'm honestly not interested in

1265
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:22,720
Speaker 1: a lawsuit. I would simply rather just have the baby

1266
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:25,960
Speaker 1: in peace and not worry about the legalities. However, my

1267
00:57:26,480 --> 00:57:28,960
Speaker 1: husband has contacted his family and called for a family

1268
00:57:29,040 --> 00:57:32,200
Speaker 1: meeting with his mother and siblings for tonight. Note his father,

1269
00:57:32,600 --> 00:57:34,760
Speaker 1: my father in law, has nothing to do with his

1270
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:38,400
Speaker 1: mother divorced, and he supports me and my husband fully.

1271
00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:41,439
Speaker 1: My husband said it's up to me if I wish

1272
00:57:41,520 --> 00:57:43,760
Speaker 1: to attend, and we have another update here.

1273
00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:47,360
Speaker 8: I feel like this again, I could be completely wrong

1274
00:57:47,400 --> 00:57:49,240
Speaker 8: because I'm not an expert or lawyer, I think, but

1275
00:57:49,320 --> 00:57:53,120
Speaker 8: it feels like it's not necessarily like illegal or an

1276
00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:55,640
Speaker 8: ethical or something like that. But it definitely feels a

1277
00:57:55,800 --> 00:57:58,440
Speaker 8: little uncool. I guess I don't know.

1278
00:57:58,760 --> 00:58:01,480
Speaker 6: Yeah, Like with just how happened, Like if you're gonna

1279
00:58:01,520 --> 00:58:04,000
Speaker 6: share an ultrasound try to figure out what what gender

1280
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:06,720
Speaker 6: the baby is, you gotta warn I'm like, hey, by

1281
00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:09,280
Speaker 6: the way, like the parents don't know the gender, just

1282
00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:11,520
Speaker 6: so like keep it a surprise, even if it's like

1283
00:58:11,640 --> 00:58:13,280
Speaker 6: even if you don't think that they're gonna talk because

1284
00:58:13,320 --> 00:58:15,240
Speaker 6: maybe that happened. Maybe the mother in law didn't think

1285
00:58:15,240 --> 00:58:17,160
Speaker 6: that they would talk about it, and like didn't think

1286
00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:19,880
Speaker 6: it would come up, but obviously it did, and now

1287
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:22,240
Speaker 6: it's a big bummer because they got spoiled.

1288
00:58:22,480 --> 00:58:24,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the biggest part is just the fact

1289
00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:28,720
Speaker 1: that it was the results or quote unquote results, because

1290
00:58:28,760 --> 00:58:31,000
Speaker 1: it was just like one person looking at it, right,

1291
00:58:31,160 --> 00:58:33,360
Speaker 1: So it's I mean, they could even be wrong, like yeah,

1292
00:58:33,400 --> 00:58:34,800
Speaker 1: they could be like, yeah, it's a boy, and they

1293
00:58:34,840 --> 00:58:37,120
Speaker 1: might even be right. Yeah. So but just the fact

1294
00:58:37,160 --> 00:58:40,600
Speaker 1: that it was immediately blasted out to every single person

1295
00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:42,919
Speaker 1: that you know, mother in law knows, to the point

1296
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:45,040
Speaker 1: where someone's walking up to them in the grocery store

1297
00:58:45,080 --> 00:58:47,800
Speaker 1: and being like, congrats on the baby boy. That's a

1298
00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:49,280
Speaker 1: lot of people that now know.

1299
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:49,880
Speaker 5: A lot of people.

1300
00:58:50,680 --> 00:58:52,440
Speaker 6: But I wonder, like, what's even the point I'm trying

1301
00:58:52,440 --> 00:58:53,880
Speaker 6: to figure out if it's illegal, Like, are you guys

1302
00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:55,320
Speaker 6: planning on doing anything about it?

1303
00:58:55,600 --> 00:58:58,640
Speaker 5: Like, I mean it is like, look like we could

1304
00:58:58,680 --> 00:58:59,840
Speaker 5: just be mad at what happened.

1305
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:03,040
Speaker 1: I think our bible here is that when like hipp

1306
00:59:03,240 --> 00:59:05,960
Speaker 1: or medical privacy laws are broken, it should be like

1307
00:59:06,080 --> 00:59:08,920
Speaker 1: sought after, prosecuted. I get. I think it's what we

1308
00:59:09,040 --> 00:59:09,760
Speaker 1: usually land on.

1309
00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:10,240
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1310
00:59:10,400 --> 00:59:11,840
Speaker 1: I don't think that was done here, at least not

1311
00:59:11,880 --> 00:59:13,000
Speaker 1: by mother in law. I think it might have been

1312
00:59:13,160 --> 00:59:15,280
Speaker 1: if anyone did anything wrong, it was your friend. But anyways,

1313
00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:19,520
Speaker 1: moving forward, moving forward, let's see what this second update

1314
00:59:19,680 --> 00:59:22,600
Speaker 1: has a lot has happened in the last couple of days.

1315
00:59:22,840 --> 00:59:25,400
Speaker 1: I needed some time to think and life just happens.

1316
00:59:25,440 --> 00:59:27,880
Speaker 1: So where do I start? Family meeting? I decided to

1317
00:59:27,960 --> 00:59:32,360
Speaker 1: attend so I could gather first hand information rather than

1318
00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:35,920
Speaker 1: my husband providing me a recount. I also decided to

1319
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:38,200
Speaker 1: attend as this is something I need to deal with

1320
00:59:38,320 --> 00:59:40,520
Speaker 1: myself and not just allow my husband to do the

1321
00:59:40,600 --> 00:59:44,000
Speaker 1: talking and essentially hide behind him. We arrived and immediately

1322
00:59:44,120 --> 00:59:47,800
Speaker 1: the atmosphere was tense. Did I cling on to my

1323
00:59:47,960 --> 00:59:50,560
Speaker 1: husband like a little girl? Yes? Yes I did, Alas

1324
00:59:50,720 --> 00:59:53,080
Speaker 1: when we finally made it to the table, everyone was

1325
00:59:53,120 --> 00:59:56,920
Speaker 1: sitting in silence mother in law, both sisters, and both brothers.

1326
00:59:57,280 --> 01:00:00,600
Speaker 1: It was so bloody awkward I BELI leave. The only

1327
01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:04,040
Speaker 1: thing that extinguished the awkwardness was my husband immediately cutting

1328
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:06,640
Speaker 1: to the point and explaining that he will not tolerate

1329
01:00:06,680 --> 01:00:09,640
Speaker 1: any disrespect to his wife direct quote from any of

1330
01:00:09,840 --> 01:00:12,560
Speaker 1: U a holes, and that he felt disrespected and that

1331
01:00:12,720 --> 01:00:15,440
Speaker 1: his mother had no right to inquire about the gender

1332
01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:17,520
Speaker 1: of the baby the way she went about it and

1333
01:00:17,600 --> 01:00:21,560
Speaker 1: how she told people. Immediately, the atmospheres shifted. My mother

1334
01:00:21,640 --> 01:00:24,000
Speaker 1: in law looked tense and guilty and Both my brother

1335
01:00:24,080 --> 01:00:27,200
Speaker 1: in law and one of my sister in laws looked horrified.

1336
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:30,640
Speaker 1: My sister in law immediately explained, mother in law did

1337
01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:34,240
Speaker 1: not tell me this. She told me you mistreated her

1338
01:00:34,520 --> 01:00:38,080
Speaker 1: over her simply wanting to know the gender of the baby.

1339
01:00:38,240 --> 01:00:41,560
Speaker 1: How the tables have turned. Three of my sibling in

1340
01:00:41,680 --> 01:00:45,040
Speaker 1: laws were enraged that their mother had lied and tried

1341
01:00:45,080 --> 01:00:48,200
Speaker 1: to spin the story her way. They all apologized profusely

1342
01:00:48,280 --> 01:00:51,960
Speaker 1: to me, explaining they did not know. The table exploded

1343
01:00:52,080 --> 01:00:54,680
Speaker 1: with cusses thrown at mother in law from all three

1344
01:00:54,720 --> 01:00:58,360
Speaker 1: of the siblings, all expressing some variation of mom that

1345
01:00:58,520 --> 01:01:01,560
Speaker 1: was not okay, that's you didn't have the right to

1346
01:01:01,680 --> 01:01:04,760
Speaker 1: do this. I'm not saying I enjoyed watching this throwdown.

1347
01:01:04,880 --> 01:01:07,280
Speaker 1: I most definitely did, though, but I appreciated how my

1348
01:01:07,400 --> 01:01:10,920
Speaker 1: sibling in laws immediately apologized to me and my husband

1349
01:01:11,040 --> 01:01:13,560
Speaker 1: and supported our claim. My mother in law broke into

1350
01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:17,120
Speaker 1: tears and apologized for her actions and expressed her heartfelt

1351
01:01:17,200 --> 01:01:19,880
Speaker 1: sincerest apologies. I would like to say that I believe

1352
01:01:19,960 --> 01:01:23,040
Speaker 1: I'm very forgiving person. However, I did not forgive.

1353
01:01:23,200 --> 01:01:24,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, you don't really like.

1354
01:01:24,080 --> 01:01:27,560
Speaker 6: Owe her an immediate like forgiveness. I think I always

1355
01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:31,240
Speaker 6: think that like, the best reaction to an apology is

1356
01:01:31,400 --> 01:01:33,680
Speaker 6: just thank you, and then you don't have to be like, ah,

1357
01:01:33,800 --> 01:01:35,960
Speaker 6: it's okay, like I forgive you whatever. Just say thank

1358
01:01:36,040 --> 01:01:38,560
Speaker 6: you for the apology and then forgive in your own time.

1359
01:01:38,680 --> 01:01:40,640
Speaker 6: You don't have to respond with that right away, so

1360
01:01:40,880 --> 01:01:42,280
Speaker 6: you're fine. Op, it's okay.

1361
01:01:42,480 --> 01:01:45,400
Speaker 1: I suppose my unforgivenness stems from the fact that she

1362
01:01:45,480 --> 01:01:48,240
Speaker 1: only seems somewhat apologetic once the majority of the family

1363
01:01:48,400 --> 01:01:50,960
Speaker 1: heard the truth and turned against her. My husband agrees

1364
01:01:51,240 --> 01:01:53,280
Speaker 1: that it doesn't sit right. We are also having a

1365
01:01:53,320 --> 01:01:57,080
Speaker 1: tough time with my husband's sister, Lena. She still believes

1366
01:01:57,120 --> 01:02:00,280
Speaker 1: that it's not and I quote the biggest of deals,

1367
01:02:00,400 --> 01:02:04,920
Speaker 1: and I still overreactive. Lena and I have never got along,

1368
01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:08,600
Speaker 1: and I suppose I expect nothing different, as she's, in

1369
01:02:09,200 --> 01:02:12,280
Speaker 1: nice terms, a total bee. That's being nice. She must

1370
01:02:12,320 --> 01:02:14,520
Speaker 1: take after your mother in law. My husband has explained

1371
01:02:14,520 --> 01:02:16,440
Speaker 1: to his mother that we are taking a step back

1372
01:02:16,480 --> 01:02:18,600
Speaker 1: from her life as our privacy was breached, and that

1373
01:02:18,720 --> 01:02:22,080
Speaker 1: we expect a drastic change in behavior if she wishes

1374
01:02:22,160 --> 01:02:24,760
Speaker 1: to meet her grandchild. My other sister in law, let's

1375
01:02:24,760 --> 01:02:28,280
Speaker 1: call her Judy, supports this decision. Entirely, as she too,

1376
01:02:28,480 --> 01:02:31,200
Speaker 1: when pregnant with my nephew, felt pressured in telling her

1377
01:02:31,280 --> 01:02:34,240
Speaker 1: mother the gender of the baby and felt smothered the

1378
01:02:34,520 --> 01:02:37,720
Speaker 1: entire pregnancy. Judy has since stayed over at our house

1379
01:02:37,800 --> 01:02:40,600
Speaker 1: and has helped get things ready for our little arrival.

1380
01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:43,800
Speaker 1: She's apologized profusely and couldn't have been a better support

1381
01:02:43,880 --> 01:02:46,360
Speaker 1: throughout this time. She also believes that her mother has

1382
01:02:46,440 --> 01:02:48,520
Speaker 1: a lot of change happening in her life and some

1383
01:02:48,720 --> 01:02:51,840
Speaker 1: bloody reflection on her actions. I have obtained the phone

1384
01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:55,120
Speaker 1: number of my mother in law's friend who read the

1385
01:02:55,200 --> 01:02:58,440
Speaker 1: ultrasound and had the conversation and clarity with her. The

1386
01:02:58,520 --> 01:03:01,400
Speaker 1: conversation entailed that my mother in law showed her all

1387
01:03:01,480 --> 01:03:04,240
Speaker 1: the images I gave her. I gave her every single

1388
01:03:04,320 --> 01:03:07,240
Speaker 1: one from every scan, and she believed she can see

1389
01:03:07,280 --> 01:03:10,200
Speaker 1: a nub, apparently eluding that it is a boy. Seeking

1390
01:03:10,440 --> 01:03:14,840
Speaker 1: further clarification, She's no longer a practicing midwife, she's retired

1391
01:03:14,960 --> 01:03:18,400
Speaker 1: and has no experience reading ultrasounds. To quote her, she

1392
01:03:18,600 --> 01:03:22,000
Speaker 1: took a guess. Absolutely furious, I expressed how it wasn't

1393
01:03:22,040 --> 01:03:24,880
Speaker 1: even okay to have a guess. She explained that my

1394
01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:27,280
Speaker 1: mother in law took it as gospel, and that she

1395
01:03:27,400 --> 01:03:30,680
Speaker 1: apparently explained that she was only taking a wild guess.

1396
01:03:30,920 --> 01:03:33,680
Speaker 1: She then admitted it was wrong and apologized. I hung up.

1397
01:03:33,800 --> 01:03:36,120
Speaker 1: I mean, like, let's get a cutter, some slack dude.

1398
01:03:36,240 --> 01:03:39,640
Speaker 1: She's literally she's retired. She's not even a working midwife.

1399
01:03:39,720 --> 01:03:42,160
Speaker 1: Her friend calls up and says, I'm sure not with

1400
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:45,520
Speaker 1: full context of like, hey, my daughter in law who

1401
01:03:46,120 --> 01:03:49,480
Speaker 1: absolutely doesn't want to know any of this information or

1402
01:03:49,520 --> 01:03:52,000
Speaker 1: have it out there at all. Like she's just saying, hey,

1403
01:03:52,080 --> 01:03:53,840
Speaker 1: my daughter in law's been sending me these ultra sounds.

1404
01:03:53,880 --> 01:03:55,560
Speaker 1: Do you think you can tell? Yeah, she's going, Oh,

1405
01:03:55,600 --> 01:03:58,640
Speaker 1: I mean I don't know. I definitely can't at all

1406
01:03:58,800 --> 01:04:00,360
Speaker 1: in any way. But if I had to take a

1407
01:04:00,480 --> 01:04:03,680
Speaker 1: complete guess, I yeah, I mean maybe it's a boy.

1408
01:04:04,120 --> 01:04:04,320
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1409
01:04:04,320 --> 01:04:05,800
Speaker 5: And then she's like, oh my god, it's a boy.

1410
01:04:06,040 --> 01:04:07,040
Speaker 1: And she's probably just like.

1411
01:04:07,160 --> 01:04:08,720
Speaker 5: So excited to be grandma.

1412
01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:12,080
Speaker 6: And then she started talking to everyone, which I can understand,

1413
01:04:12,080 --> 01:04:16,040
Speaker 6: like I feel like this can be like it's very disappointing,

1414
01:04:16,280 --> 01:04:19,120
Speaker 6: but they she might be wrong, Like some people in

1415
01:04:19,280 --> 01:04:21,040
Speaker 6: the chow were like, just watch her be a girl,

1416
01:04:21,200 --> 01:04:23,680
Speaker 6: like or she said boy on purpose because she knew

1417
01:04:23,800 --> 01:04:24,680
Speaker 6: the word would spread.

1418
01:04:24,760 --> 01:04:26,640
Speaker 1: So in a way, if you want to take like

1419
01:04:26,720 --> 01:04:30,680
Speaker 1: the silver lining the Alchemist, take on this. Yeah, by

1420
01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:34,600
Speaker 1: exposing the the gender of your kid is male or

1421
01:04:34,600 --> 01:04:37,160
Speaker 1: a boy, whatever, Yeah, low key, you're being set up

1422
01:04:37,200 --> 01:04:39,960
Speaker 1: for maybe an even greater surprise. Yeah, because now you

1423
01:04:40,120 --> 01:04:42,200
Speaker 1: think you know it's a boy. Yeah, but if it's

1424
01:04:42,240 --> 01:04:44,960
Speaker 1: actually a girl, Yeah, you'd be like whoa, whoa what?

1425
01:04:47,240 --> 01:04:47,439
Speaker 6: Yeah?

1426
01:04:48,160 --> 01:04:53,000
Speaker 5: Exactly, There's so many returns to make. Yeah.

1427
01:04:53,280 --> 01:04:57,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, I am pissed, not that I was after

1428
01:04:57,720 --> 01:05:00,480
Speaker 1: a lawsuit, but there's no foundation to acclaim of breaching

1429
01:05:00,560 --> 01:05:04,080
Speaker 1: confidentiality either way. If this midwife is wrong or right,

1430
01:05:04,200 --> 01:05:06,960
Speaker 1: I understand, it doesn't excuse any of the actions my

1431
01:05:07,040 --> 01:05:10,240
Speaker 1: mother in law took and her friend, My husband and

1432
01:05:10,320 --> 01:05:13,200
Speaker 1: I will be having this child in peace away from

1433
01:05:13,240 --> 01:05:17,200
Speaker 1: her for quite a while. Disgusting behavior. Honestly, then, even

1434
01:05:17,280 --> 01:05:20,000
Speaker 1: if it is all based on fallacies and wild guesses

1435
01:05:20,360 --> 01:05:22,840
Speaker 1: and there is a little bit more story left, honestly,

1436
01:05:23,120 --> 01:05:23,800
Speaker 1: do you have what do you do?

1437
01:05:23,880 --> 01:05:24,000
Speaker 6: You have?

1438
01:05:24,000 --> 01:05:26,880
Speaker 1: Any closing thoughts here, any final thoughts out of navigate

1439
01:05:26,960 --> 01:05:28,880
Speaker 1: this kind of situation. I don't know.

1440
01:05:29,120 --> 01:05:31,600
Speaker 5: I feel like I feel like I get it.

1441
01:05:31,720 --> 01:05:34,040
Speaker 6: I get be an upset and I get I'm I'm

1442
01:05:34,120 --> 01:05:37,439
Speaker 6: thinking maybe if this is such a big deal, maybe

1443
01:05:37,480 --> 01:05:39,880
Speaker 6: this isn't the first time something similar has happened, like

1444
01:05:39,960 --> 01:05:41,800
Speaker 6: where the mother in law is like, dude, this isn't

1445
01:05:42,040 --> 01:05:44,240
Speaker 6: like or the mother in law did something where it's like,

1446
01:05:44,320 --> 01:05:46,960
Speaker 6: this is not your place to do this, like you can't, yeah,

1447
01:05:47,120 --> 01:05:49,800
Speaker 6: back off. I'm sure something like that happened, because right

1448
01:05:49,880 --> 01:05:53,040
Speaker 6: now I'm thinking, like, this isn't that big of a deal. Yeah, apparently,

1449
01:05:53,080 --> 01:05:55,280
Speaker 6: but obviously it is, which is valid, and I'm not

1450
01:05:55,320 --> 01:05:55,840
Speaker 6: in the situation.

1451
01:05:55,880 --> 01:05:59,840
Speaker 1: I think it's more information gathering from the other family members. Yeah,

1452
01:06:00,040 --> 01:06:01,680
Speaker 1: especially the one who was like yeah, she was also

1453
01:06:01,920 --> 01:06:04,720
Speaker 1: super insistent and annoying when I had my kid.

1454
01:06:04,840 --> 01:06:07,120
Speaker 5: Then I'll tell her yeah, and it's like I'm gonna

1455
01:06:07,120 --> 01:06:07,960
Speaker 5: shut her up a little bit.

1456
01:06:08,120 --> 01:06:10,480
Speaker 1: Let's finish this story. So I'm going in for my

1457
01:06:10,560 --> 01:06:13,240
Speaker 1: growth scan shortly, and I feel I should just find

1458
01:06:13,320 --> 01:06:15,720
Speaker 1: out now, like the sex of the baby. I don't

1459
01:06:15,840 --> 01:06:19,000
Speaker 1: like the idea of being in suspense until he or

1460
01:06:19,160 --> 01:06:21,360
Speaker 1: she comes in any and all cases. My mother in

1461
01:06:21,440 --> 01:06:23,120
Speaker 1: law ruined this for my husband and I and I

1462
01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:25,440
Speaker 1: know by finding it out it depreciates the whole point

1463
01:06:25,480 --> 01:06:27,720
Speaker 1: of having it be a surprise, but I feel it's

1464
01:06:27,800 --> 01:06:30,400
Speaker 1: ruined already anyway. Alas my husband and I, if we

1465
01:06:30,480 --> 01:06:32,880
Speaker 1: do choose to find out, mother in law will not

1466
01:06:32,960 --> 01:06:35,600
Speaker 1: be notified and it will be kept private until the

1467
01:06:35,720 --> 01:06:39,680
Speaker 1: baby arrives. We will not be entertaining contact and visitations

1468
01:06:39,680 --> 01:06:41,800
Speaker 1: for quite a while. Me and my husband have cracked

1469
01:06:41,880 --> 01:06:44,959
Speaker 1: up and some of her replies bringing us some joy

1470
01:06:45,320 --> 01:06:47,320
Speaker 1: at this time. And that is the end of that story.

1471
01:06:47,400 --> 01:06:48,480
Speaker 1: Here we go, there we go.

1472
01:06:48,840 --> 01:06:50,800
Speaker 5: I believe everything can be okay.

1473
01:06:51,040 --> 01:06:53,520
Speaker 6: This is you know, maybe something that has happened to

1474
01:06:53,840 --> 01:06:56,600
Speaker 6: the other person the inliblings.

1475
01:06:56,640 --> 01:06:57,960
Speaker 1: What did you see in liblings?

1476
01:06:58,080 --> 01:07:00,840
Speaker 5: Inliblings? But but now this is the first experience and

1477
01:07:00,880 --> 01:07:02,560
Speaker 5: then now they know how to move forward, and that's.

1478
01:07:02,400 --> 01:07:05,280
Speaker 1: Okay, it'll be fine, guys. Yeah, you just give us

1479
01:07:05,280 --> 01:07:07,160
Speaker 1: a town of cool off. It's like, yeah, you got

1480
01:07:07,280 --> 01:07:11,400
Speaker 1: come on. That was come on. Yeah, you know, but

1481
01:07:11,480 --> 01:07:13,480
Speaker 1: you don't have to cut off forever. I don't think

1482
01:07:13,560 --> 01:07:14,040
Speaker 1: that's the plan.

1483
01:07:14,200 --> 01:07:15,880
Speaker 5: So, but that is the end of that story, and

1484
01:07:16,000 --> 01:07:18,120
Speaker 5: I believe the end of the episode that is true.

1485
01:07:18,360 --> 01:07:22,600
Speaker 1: Yea, it is. So we love you and see you tomorrow.