WEBVTT - #451 - Granger Smith on Writing About Almost Taking His Life In Book 0:00:06.760 --> 0:00:09.200 If I faced God today and he said, I give 0:00:09.280 --> 0:00:11.760 your old life back, but you don't get anything that 0:00:11.800 --> 0:00:14.680 you've gained from that to this stay forward, I would 0:00:14.680 --> 0:00:15.160 say no. 0:00:17.200 --> 0:00:21.200 Episode four fifty one with Granger Smith follow him everywhere 0:00:21.239 --> 0:00:26.119 at Granger Smith, TikTok and Instagram. So first, musically, a 0:00:26.160 --> 0:00:29.600 couple big hits. It's hard to we can't play clips anymore. 0:00:29.640 --> 0:00:33.199 But Back wrote song oOoOO, I can't even do it. 0:00:33.600 --> 0:00:36.200 This is my back wrote a good song. 0:00:37.400 --> 0:00:37.879 You got it. 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:39.960 We used to sing that, dude like well part of 0:00:40.000 --> 0:00:42.760 that in a big medley when the idiots were our 0:00:42.800 --> 0:00:46.280 in our prime. You know, he's got a couple of books, 0:00:47.400 --> 0:00:50.000 and I guess the Kid's book is the new one. 0:00:50.760 --> 0:00:52.879 That's really what the focus is, and we get to 0:00:52.920 --> 0:00:56.400 it later on. But Up Toward the Light tells an 0:00:56.400 --> 0:00:58.520 inspiring story to bring a message of hope and strength 0:00:58.600 --> 0:01:03.240 to children navigating laws and grief and a lot of 0:01:03.280 --> 0:01:06.080 what we talk about. I want to say it dominates it, 0:01:06.080 --> 0:01:09.920 but we talk about a lot the loss of his son. Yeah, 0:01:10.000 --> 0:01:12.039 because when we talk about a lot of stuff in 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:15.200 this I really like Granger. Granger also works for the 0:01:15.240 --> 0:01:18.520 same company now doing a radio show. I guess before 0:01:18.560 --> 0:01:19.000 we come on. 0:01:19.959 --> 0:01:22.479 Yeah, we lead right after him. 0:01:22.560 --> 0:01:25.600 Yeah right, Yeah, it's weird because his is the Overnight show, 0:01:25.640 --> 0:01:27.040 so you but think it comes on way after us. 0:01:27.120 --> 0:01:28.520 I mean it kind of leads into us in a 0:01:28.600 --> 0:01:33.319 lot of places, you know, kind of took a hiatus, 0:01:33.600 --> 0:01:36.600 maybe a forever break away from music and now mostly 0:01:36.800 --> 0:01:40.960 just you know, giving his message of faith and his 0:01:41.040 --> 0:01:46.279 story with his family and Earld Doubles. Junior still lives, right. 0:01:46.200 --> 0:01:47.320 He's still doing stuff. 0:01:47.360 --> 0:01:47.560 Yeah. 0:01:47.800 --> 0:01:48.880 YouTube panel, Yeah good. 0:01:49.200 --> 0:01:52.200 So I liked this. I like Granger a whole lot. 0:01:52.640 --> 0:01:55.040 I thought that he was very vulnerable and very generous 0:01:55.040 --> 0:01:59.240 with his cues and his a's and that's weird. Also, 0:01:59.280 --> 0:02:02.280 before we start the we should do some kind of 0:02:02.280 --> 0:02:03.320 trigger warning, right. 0:02:03.320 --> 0:02:07.840 Yeah, because he goes into some pretty detailed details about 0:02:08.000 --> 0:02:10.680 the passing of his son that even me, like listening 0:02:10.680 --> 0:02:12.720 to him talk about it, I never heard it in 0:02:12.760 --> 0:02:15.440 that amount of detail, but for some people who maybe. 0:02:15.160 --> 0:02:18.919 You're right, he does talk about like physic you're right. 0:02:19.200 --> 0:02:23.080 Good trigger warning. I didn't think about that. Yeah, okay, 0:02:23.600 --> 0:02:27.280 trigger warning. It does get difficult to listen to. But 0:02:27.400 --> 0:02:28.880 for a specific reason. 0:02:28.680 --> 0:02:30.240 Yeah, I think that's why we decided to leave it 0:02:30.240 --> 0:02:33.600 in there because I think it's important to hear about 0:02:33.639 --> 0:02:35.680 like his story, and it's a big part of his story, 0:02:35.760 --> 0:02:37.400 but it's also could be difficult for. 0:02:37.360 --> 0:02:37.799 Something to hear. 0:02:37.919 --> 0:02:41.040 Good call but Granger Smith, Episode four point fifty one. 0:02:41.400 --> 0:02:44.080 I hope you enjoyed this podcast. I like to start 0:02:44.120 --> 0:02:49.840 the conversation with where we just left off. In personal life. 0:02:50.080 --> 0:02:52.000 We're talking about biten fingernails because I lied to my 0:02:52.040 --> 0:02:56.239 wife and said that I didn't lie and lie and lie. 0:02:56.480 --> 0:03:01.080 I might have said, I'll lied, Okay, I did lie 0:03:01.120 --> 0:03:03.679 to her. I lied about biting my fingernails because she 0:03:03.680 --> 0:03:06.519 doesn't like me to bite my fingernails. So I said 0:03:06.520 --> 0:03:09.240 I smashed it with a weight and so I got 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:11.239 a bad hangnail that ripped the hangnail out it bled. 0:03:11.760 --> 0:03:14.040 She's like, oh, are you biting your fingernails? And I 0:03:14.080 --> 0:03:15.600 was like no, I was left and weight baby trying 0:03:15.600 --> 0:03:19.120 to get pumped for you. And she knows I like that. 0:03:19.200 --> 0:03:21.480 But why is that a thing? Why is biting your 0:03:21.520 --> 0:03:22.360 nails a bad thing? 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:25.400 To two parts? One, it's just gross because everything you 0:03:25.440 --> 0:03:29.640 touch is now in your mouth. Meanka get yeah, and 0:03:29.680 --> 0:03:32.120 you can't even really wash your hands under your nails. 0:03:32.120 --> 0:03:35.160 Effect of work you can try. And then two, when 0:03:35.160 --> 0:03:38.960 you bite your fingernails, the little hangnails could grow on 0:03:39.000 --> 0:03:40.880 the side of them because you're starts to grow back, 0:03:41.320 --> 0:03:44.440 and it's just really painful and you have to rip 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:46.600 them out and that hurts, or you can let it 0:03:46.640 --> 0:03:48.080 grow and it hurts, and it's just overall not a 0:03:48.080 --> 0:03:50.760 good deal. I like it though, that's my favorite. I've 0:03:50.800 --> 0:03:53.760 had the list hobbies as of today, biting my fingernails 0:03:53.760 --> 0:03:54.160 top three. 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:57.760 So I don't think those two negative reasons though, outweigh. 0:03:57.960 --> 0:03:59.680 If it's your something. 0:03:59.360 --> 0:04:02.080 You passionate about it, I think about starting a foundation 0:04:02.800 --> 0:04:05.320 for nell bitters everywhere I'm thinks. I'm thinking about making 0:04:05.360 --> 0:04:07.040 a move like you did and leaving all this to 0:04:07.080 --> 0:04:10.080 go and work with nel biters and really pump pump 0:04:10.120 --> 0:04:12.160 that message. Yeah, be impactful about nel biting. 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:14.600 Yeah, it just give out hand sanitizer as part of 0:04:14.640 --> 0:04:14.920 the thing. 0:04:15.040 --> 0:04:18.640 Yeah, I shouldn't do it, because again it's stupid. And 0:04:18.680 --> 0:04:21.160 I did. The tasty stuff, the bad taste you put 0:04:21.160 --> 0:04:23.920 on it, and you like put it on your fingernails. 0:04:23.920 --> 0:04:26.040 It's like Neil polished but it's clear, but it tastes 0:04:26.080 --> 0:04:30.440 so bad. But then I just developed a strategy so 0:04:30.600 --> 0:04:32.600 often do of biting without tasting. 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:36.400 So I walked in here today and had no idea. 0:04:36.120 --> 0:04:39.080 That this was a thing, me doing a show. 0:04:39.760 --> 0:04:42.719 Well, no, no, not that that biting a nail, biting 0:04:42.800 --> 0:04:46.320 nails was such a thing that there were remedies that 0:04:46.440 --> 0:04:50.039 people will sell. Yeah, so that so that you could 0:04:50.120 --> 0:04:52.839 not do something that you actually don't mind doing. I 0:04:52.839 --> 0:04:54.840 love it, man, it's I don't get it. I don't 0:04:54.880 --> 0:04:55.360 understand that. 0:04:56.000 --> 0:05:01.000 I would say, mostly because of the health ramifications. If 0:05:01.000 --> 0:05:02.200 you have a lot of journals and you put in 0:05:02.200 --> 0:05:04.840 your mouth and young kids that that's usually used for 0:05:04.920 --> 0:05:07.400 young young kids, the taste thing or me? 0:05:07.960 --> 0:05:10.360 So, could you hold like a convention and talk about. 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:12.119 Hold I go on schedule for next week and everyone 0:05:12.680 --> 0:05:14.280 a lot of people would show up Vancouver who was 0:05:14.320 --> 0:05:17.000 sold out? All nail biters that you really? 0:05:18.400 --> 0:05:19.640 Could you do? Could you do it? Oh? 0:05:20.000 --> 0:05:21.320 I'll mean disgusting. I don't want to hang out with 0:05:21.320 --> 0:05:21.680 el biters. 0:05:21.880 --> 0:05:26.000 They're gross. Evidently enough people buy the nail polish. 0:05:25.800 --> 0:05:30.800 And nail biters are losers. Man, to be with a loser, Uh, 0:05:31.240 --> 0:05:33.720 that's me. That's mean. How you been buddy? Really, it's 0:05:33.720 --> 0:05:35.160 awesome to see you know, what's funny about doing I 0:05:35.160 --> 0:05:37.080 don't even let you answer the question. But what's funny 0:05:37.160 --> 0:05:40.640 is like I like you so much and like respect 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:41.960 what you do and how you do it, and also 0:05:42.000 --> 0:05:44.240 consider you. Like we don't get to hang out enough 0:05:44.279 --> 0:05:46.680 to be friend friends, but like a buddy friend. Which 0:05:46.760 --> 0:05:50.400 is that next level that I feel comfortable when you 0:05:50.440 --> 0:05:53.719 come over that it's like, oh cool, I get to 0:05:53.720 --> 0:05:55.080 go do this and not have to worry about it 0:05:55.080 --> 0:05:58.159 if I like the person or thank you man or 0:05:58.400 --> 0:06:01.320 And you know this because with your new career you 0:06:01.400 --> 0:06:03.520 got a couple of them. There are times where I 0:06:03.520 --> 0:06:06.520 feel like I have to be extremely on just in 0:06:06.680 --> 0:06:09.320 case because I don't know the skill set of the 0:06:09.400 --> 0:06:12.440 other person or how they feel. I don't have to 0:06:12.480 --> 0:06:15.320 do that with you, which means I can even take 0:06:15.360 --> 0:06:15.920 long breaths. 0:06:16.480 --> 0:06:19.680 M dude, that's a compliment. Thank you? 0:06:19.800 --> 0:06:22.040 Yeah it really if you could feel I honestly feel 0:06:22.040 --> 0:06:22.640 that way about you. 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:24.280 Yeah, that's cool, thank you. 0:06:24.320 --> 0:06:25.719 So how have you been? 0:06:26.279 --> 0:06:31.039 Honestly what? I'm in a good place, better than I deserve, 0:06:31.279 --> 0:06:32.120 I should say. 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:33.880 Is that a thing that you say? 0:06:33.920 --> 0:06:34.040 Now? 0:06:34.080 --> 0:06:36.520 Because I had a coach that would always say how's 0:06:36.560 --> 0:06:38.880 it going? They always go better than I deserve? Do 0:06:38.920 --> 0:06:41.680 you really feel better than you deserve? I? 0:06:41.960 --> 0:06:43.880 First of all, it is a thing because it's a 0:06:43.920 --> 0:06:47.760 great conversation starter. What do you mean by that? What? 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:49.000 What do you deserve? You know? 0:06:49.640 --> 0:06:50.920 I think you might have to know good though. If 0:06:50.920 --> 0:06:52.440 you say that, like if feel like better than I deserve, 0:06:52.480 --> 0:06:53.480 I'm like, I wonder what he stole? 0:06:53.800 --> 0:06:56.640 So yes, so it could be just a thing that 0:06:56.720 --> 0:07:01.880 you say. It is a great conversation starter alluding to, well, 0:07:01.920 --> 0:07:04.560 what is it that you deserve? But on top of that, 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:07.320 I am just actually in a good place. I really am. 0:07:08.279 --> 0:07:11.400 Was there a place we'll call it your live stock 0:07:11.480 --> 0:07:14.000 market because we've seen each other a couple of times since, 0:07:15.000 --> 0:07:18.560 and I don't feel like you've retired. I feel like 0:07:19.080 --> 0:07:24.520 in this world of messaging whatever it is, sure, music, 0:07:26.760 --> 0:07:31.720 Jesus speaking, singing, sports, whatever, the messaging is like, it's 0:07:31.760 --> 0:07:33.600 all a version of that. And where I do a 0:07:33.680 --> 0:07:35.360 radio show or a podcast, or I do a sports show, 0:07:35.400 --> 0:07:38.200 we shoot a sports like TV show. But it's all 0:07:38.240 --> 0:07:41.000 the same, even though it's not. And it's all fulfilling 0:07:41.000 --> 0:07:42.720 to me in different ways. And there are seasons where 0:07:42.760 --> 0:07:46.720 things are way more fulfilling to me than others, but 0:07:46.920 --> 0:07:49.400 there is now a fluidity to if you're brave enough 0:07:49.480 --> 0:07:53.320 to go try it, you might just be good at 0:07:53.360 --> 0:07:55.560 it and get to do it all. And that is 0:07:55.600 --> 0:07:58.520 something that I've seen you really thrive at because obviously 0:07:58.520 --> 0:08:03.240 you have massive success in me music, and I don't 0:08:03.280 --> 0:08:06.480 feel as a fan like you've stepped away. Even though 0:08:06.480 --> 0:08:08.800 you're in the weeds, You're not ten thousand feet above 0:08:08.800 --> 0:08:10.880 it like I am. You may feel that way because 0:08:10.880 --> 0:08:13.240 you're not maybe writing as much, performing as much, but 0:08:13.320 --> 0:08:16.160 your music always lives, so I can go to it anytime. 0:08:16.680 --> 0:08:19.720 It's like when Tom Petty dies, for example, he hasn't 0:08:19.760 --> 0:08:22.200 died to me. I didn't. I don't know Tom Petty. 0:08:22.280 --> 0:08:24.960 Sure he's still alive to me. Granger Smith, like the 0:08:25.080 --> 0:08:27.440 music artist I really enjoy, is still living just as 0:08:27.480 --> 0:08:30.600 he was to me. But now you've decided to focus 0:08:30.640 --> 0:08:32.520 a lot of other energy on a lot of other things. 0:08:33.320 --> 0:08:37.040 And so as the stock market of life seasons ago, 0:08:37.240 --> 0:08:39.320 did it go down at all after you decided to 0:08:39.400 --> 0:08:43.400 kind of leave in your mind a lot of your 0:08:43.520 --> 0:08:45.160 energy from music and put it somewhere else. 0:08:45.840 --> 0:08:50.199 The stock market as me as a product, not specifically music, 0:08:50.200 --> 0:08:51.280 because you're just talking about. 0:08:51.200 --> 0:08:53.079 Just you as a person. Do you feel like you 0:08:53.480 --> 0:08:57.520 took it down, you went down and questioned what you 0:08:57.559 --> 0:08:59.680 were doing, or if you could lose it all? Or 0:08:59.720 --> 0:09:02.640 did he get worse for you emotionally scary? 0:09:02.679 --> 0:09:08.720 Even, Yeah, I get it. I live in a place now. 0:09:09.880 --> 0:09:11.560 It's funny. I was just having this conversation on the 0:09:11.559 --> 0:09:15.880 way here, literally that if I died tonight in my sleep, 0:09:16.559 --> 0:09:20.200 it would be enough. Today would have been enough. And 0:09:20.320 --> 0:09:23.160 I didn't live in that world. For all of my 0:09:23.240 --> 0:09:25.120 music career and probably most of my life on top 0:09:25.120 --> 0:09:28.199 of that, it was always it's not enough yet. I 0:09:28.600 --> 0:09:32.160 haven't gotten it yet. I'm still searching forward. I'm pushing 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:34.400 forward and I'm almost got it. I've got all this stuff, 0:09:34.440 --> 0:09:37.480 but I want a little bit more and I don't 0:09:37.480 --> 0:09:40.160 have that at all now. So does that mean the 0:09:40.240 --> 0:09:43.240 stock market of my life has gone down? Probably? But 0:09:43.320 --> 0:09:46.199 I think, but I think I like it to be down. 0:09:46.280 --> 0:09:47.199 That's think. That's kind of the. 0:09:47.120 --> 0:09:49.199 Point, which which then I think it's up. 0:09:50.640 --> 0:09:53.520 Yeah, the way however you look at it, Yeah. 0:09:53.559 --> 0:09:57.000 Meaning I would judge the stock market of my life 0:09:57.040 --> 0:10:01.920 in the fulfillment that I have, And sometimes my fulfillment 0:10:01.960 --> 0:10:04.240 comes from things that I shouldn't be fulfilled. I shouldn't 0:10:04.280 --> 0:10:06.800 chase to be fulfilled by Yeah, those things that are 0:10:06.920 --> 0:10:14.120 very professional, non meaningful, ego based, award based, databased, short term, 0:10:14.120 --> 0:10:18.199 goal based, and at times, but like, I've been married 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:22.600 now a couple of years, and it's been difficult for 0:10:22.720 --> 0:10:25.080 me at times because I was never with another person. 0:10:25.120 --> 0:10:27.240 I don't I have the emotional and I don't even 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:31.440 mean this is a joke, but the emotional knowledge of 0:10:31.480 --> 0:10:33.280 like it probably not like a fourteen year old because 0:10:33.280 --> 0:10:35.400 I never it was just me, never had to be 0:10:35.400 --> 0:10:38.680 in an intimate relationship with anybody. And it's been very hard. 0:10:38.960 --> 0:10:40.200 And there are some of the things that I thought 0:10:40.280 --> 0:10:43.920 were so important. I don't put as much energy into 0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:46.280 going after those. I still do. I still care about 0:10:46.280 --> 0:10:49.160 a lot of things, but there's been a shift in 0:10:50.200 --> 0:10:52.360 my value system a bit because now I have another 0:10:52.400 --> 0:10:54.880 person and I'm learning how important that is and how 0:10:54.920 --> 0:10:57.120 hard If I work at that, the payoffs are even bigger. 0:10:57.280 --> 0:11:03.360 So I could go well personally, I think it's up. Professionally, 0:11:03.400 --> 0:11:06.040 maybe not as high as I would be, but as 0:11:06.080 --> 0:11:08.760 long as I'm fulfilled, that's my stock market up. That 0:11:08.800 --> 0:11:11.640 all comes to what I'm fulfilled with because I am 0:11:11.679 --> 0:11:15.320 not the place where I know with what I was chasing, 0:11:15.480 --> 0:11:17.360 I'm never going to be satisfied. And that's not a 0:11:17.400 --> 0:11:20.000 good place to be because it and I'm still there 0:11:20.000 --> 0:11:21.800 in ways, but it didn't matter, it doesn't matter. I'm 0:11:21.800 --> 0:11:23.520 not going to be that monster it's been to me 0:11:23.559 --> 0:11:27.400 forever is never going to be full And at least 0:11:27.400 --> 0:11:30.440 I can acknowledge that now that there's nothing I can 0:11:30.520 --> 0:11:33.440 do professionally that's going to make me go, I feel complete. Yeah, 0:11:33.520 --> 0:11:39.240 and that's that's that's nice to admit. But it's almost 0:11:39.400 --> 0:11:41.439 like a little like am I am I quitting or 0:11:41.480 --> 0:11:43.000 giving up? Or am I just maturing? 0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:48.680 Yeah? And that's the that's the American culture, that American 0:11:48.760 --> 0:11:52.880 dream that's just so ingrained in us. It goes, don't quit, 0:11:53.440 --> 0:11:57.199 don't give up, keep going, keep pushing forward. Amazing, that's 0:11:57.200 --> 0:11:59.440 amazing that we have that. You know that that's a 0:11:59.440 --> 0:12:03.120 gift that we have that kind of drive And that's 0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:07.760 really what settled the West was that mentality. But at 0:12:07.760 --> 0:12:10.880 what level does that become dangerous? And is that outstride 0:12:10.920 --> 0:12:12.640 or contentment? And I think that that's kind of a 0:12:12.679 --> 0:12:16.640 word that we're talking about here, is can you be great? 0:12:16.720 --> 0:12:20.240 You drive, you push forward, you chase, but can you 0:12:20.320 --> 0:12:24.400 be content with what you have? Now? That's the question. 0:12:24.600 --> 0:12:27.800 If the answers yes, then continue to chase and drive. 0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:30.439 If the answers know, then you need to pull back 0:12:30.480 --> 0:12:31.960 and start releasing some things. 0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:37.000 And my answer is no, but it's not no anymore. 0:12:37.760 --> 0:12:41.360 There's a difference to me because there's a bit because 0:12:41.360 --> 0:12:43.120 of my wife. There's a bit of growth in realizing 0:12:43.120 --> 0:12:49.520 that there are other priorities than those extremely fleeting entertainment 0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:54.200 or chasing a love that is not real through people 0:12:54.280 --> 0:12:56.600 I don't really know, just so I feel like I've 0:12:56.600 --> 0:13:00.480 accomplished something, because I feel like I've never accomplished anything again. 0:13:00.520 --> 0:13:02.800 That thing never gets fed or briefly and then it's 0:13:02.840 --> 0:13:06.679 hungry again. And I've been able to learn through her 0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:08.319 that the things sometimes that maybe I didn't even know 0:13:08.360 --> 0:13:13.280 existed with that are valued, like quality time, like that's 0:13:13.400 --> 0:13:21.640 there's that's currency, that's that's real, substantive, like the ability 0:13:21.640 --> 0:13:24.760 to have that and it go well means way more 0:13:24.800 --> 0:13:26.199 than I thought it would. So I've been able to 0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:28.360 shift a little bit of that. I just need to 0:13:28.360 --> 0:13:32.640 succeed to that, not all to that, and I wonder 0:13:32.960 --> 0:13:35.440 with my version of this have and you say you 0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:39.000 could die tonight, and I hope that doesn't happen. But have 0:13:39.080 --> 0:13:41.400 you shifted a bit of your Okay, I gotta do 0:13:41.440 --> 0:13:46.160 this professionally too. Now I'm doing something that creates a 0:13:46.160 --> 0:13:48.520 healthy contentment and fulfillment and me and I feel better 0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:49.160 because of it. 0:13:50.400 --> 0:13:56.000 Oh yeah, yeah, consolidating what I do to all the 0:13:56.040 --> 0:13:58.800 way down to the things that matter, the things that 0:13:58.840 --> 0:13:59.520 are meaningful to me. 0:13:59.559 --> 0:14:02.240 Things are now, how about that? Yeah, because I'm sure 0:14:02.240 --> 0:14:04.360 they're different than what that mattered five years ago to ye, 0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:07.440 what matters now to you that maybe didn't matter as 0:14:07.520 --> 0:14:08.280 much five years ago. 0:14:09.720 --> 0:14:16.360 Now I'm able to speak into lives and add an 0:14:16.400 --> 0:14:20.640 idea of hope in a world that a lot of 0:14:20.680 --> 0:14:24.000 people don't have any and so they chase other things 0:14:24.000 --> 0:14:25.840 to try to replace it. So if I can come 0:14:25.880 --> 0:14:30.640 in on a personal level, And you know, this is crazy, 0:14:30.640 --> 0:14:34.040 because I'm coming from a world where the more people 0:14:34.080 --> 0:14:36.240 I talk to, the better. So it's talk to a 0:14:36.240 --> 0:14:40.320 lot of people with a small, vague message, or talk 0:14:40.360 --> 0:14:44.280 to one person with a very impactful, deep message for 0:14:44.320 --> 0:14:46.840 a long period of time. And I go to bed 0:14:47.280 --> 0:14:51.480 that night feeling fulfilled from one one coffee I had. 0:14:51.640 --> 0:14:54.320 I had coffee with a guy last week who lost 0:14:54.320 --> 0:14:56.480 his son. I live in Austin, he lives in Dallas. 0:14:56.480 --> 0:14:59.880 He's like, I'll do anything. I'm forty four days into this. 0:15:00.480 --> 0:15:03.040 I need to talk to you. I need I need 0:15:03.040 --> 0:15:04.800 to have coffee. So I'm looking at my schedule like 0:15:06.080 --> 0:15:08.440 I don't know the guy. It doesn't really make sense, 0:15:09.240 --> 0:15:12.600 but I know this is this is why I'm here. 0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:14.440 I need to be open to stuff like this. So 0:15:14.480 --> 0:15:18.200 I say, yeah, Tuesday, will meet. He drives to temple. 0:15:18.240 --> 0:15:18.520 We meet. 0:15:18.760 --> 0:15:20.760 What made you say yes? I want to get to 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:22.480 the story, But what made you say yes? Other than 0:15:22.560 --> 0:15:24.760 just going I just need to do it? What because 0:15:25.200 --> 0:15:27.320 you thought about it. It's probably harder to do it 0:15:27.360 --> 0:15:29.400 than not do it. Why do you say yes to that? 0:15:29.440 --> 0:15:32.600 I said yes because I've done it enough times to 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:36.400 know that there is more fulfillment in that than whatever 0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:38.320 the rat race thing I was supposed to be doing 0:15:38.320 --> 0:15:41.040 on a Tuesday. So I meet the guy and we 0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:44.600 set this coffee shop for four hours and I talked 0:15:44.640 --> 0:15:48.160 for about twenty minutes out of the flour and listened 0:15:48.400 --> 0:15:51.480 the rest of the times. He's just unpacking unpacking unpacking, 0:15:52.480 --> 0:15:54.560 and then but the times I was able to speak, 0:15:54.720 --> 0:15:58.480 the short time I could, I knew things to say 0:15:59.000 --> 0:16:00.920 that would impact him in a way that on his 0:16:01.000 --> 0:16:02.680 drive back to Dallas, I know he's gonna be thinking 0:16:02.680 --> 0:16:04.920 about it. And then I leave there and I'm like, 0:16:05.000 --> 0:16:07.400 I've missed out on whatever else I was doing today. 0:16:08.200 --> 0:16:12.400 But that one guy that actually matters. I don't know 0:16:12.440 --> 0:16:16.600 why I can't articulate what you know in a cosmic way, 0:16:16.680 --> 0:16:20.120 why this one conversation mattered than me getting on a 0:16:20.160 --> 0:16:23.400 podcast and talking to thousands and tens of thousands, But 0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:23.880 it just. 0:16:23.880 --> 0:16:29.680 Did, probably the promised intimacy because you're actually there seeing 0:16:29.800 --> 0:16:32.560 something to that the effect of the person, and the 0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:35.760 same way you could play music and watch people react 0:16:35.800 --> 0:16:37.840 and have a great night as well. But again, you're right, 0:16:37.920 --> 0:16:42.760 it's a big, vague, broad message for a lot, or 0:16:42.800 --> 0:16:48.000 a nuanced specific message for one. And it's pretty cool 0:16:48.000 --> 0:16:52.640 to see how that has changed inside of you. I 0:16:52.680 --> 0:16:54.800 would imagine at some point you still like the other 0:16:54.960 --> 0:16:57.360 because I watch you speak sometimes what you do. Yeah, 0:16:57.400 --> 0:17:04.879 and yeah, it's definitely a specific ish message, but and 0:17:04.920 --> 0:17:07.240 you're definitely trying to affect people that are watching you. 0:17:07.320 --> 0:17:10.560 But it has to be tailored a bit more generically 0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:13.320 than if you're just talking to a person across from you. 0:17:13.600 --> 0:17:17.760 When you speak, to speak or your church, your preacher, whatever, 0:17:17.800 --> 0:17:20.840 how are you defining do you do sermons? Would you 0:17:20.840 --> 0:17:21.560 go yours a sermon? 0:17:21.640 --> 0:17:24.200 Yeah, it's mixed like sometimes it's a church like literally 0:17:24.240 --> 0:17:27.920 this this coming Sunday is a sermon, Okay, Sunday morning, 0:17:27.960 --> 0:17:31.600 but it's not always. Sometimes it's a youth conference or whatever. 0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:35.920 When you speak and you leave that, what is that 0:17:36.000 --> 0:17:39.560 feeling like? Because you haven't set across from them and 0:17:39.600 --> 0:17:44.320 got their specific nuance needs a reaction, But you still 0:17:44.480 --> 0:17:48.040 just went and took your message and your feelings and 0:17:48.119 --> 0:17:50.480 were vulnerable and shared to people who are needing and wanting. 0:17:50.520 --> 0:17:53.600 That described the two, The difference between the. 0:17:53.520 --> 0:18:00.000 Two similar to concerts music. I could walk off from 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:03.520 the message and and think, man, I don't know if 0:18:03.840 --> 0:18:05.280 I don't know if I did, I don't know if 0:18:05.280 --> 0:18:08.360 that mattered at all. I think that might have been horrible. 0:18:08.960 --> 0:18:11.240 And then there's other times I walk off and go 0:18:11.280 --> 0:18:12.679 I think I nailed it. I think I nailed that. 0:18:13.000 --> 0:18:15.840 It's interesting that I get the it's I get the 0:18:15.880 --> 0:18:19.400 same type of feeling. But but I do know that 0:18:19.800 --> 0:18:23.200 the sword is sharper with the message that I'm giving 0:18:23.280 --> 0:18:26.800 now as opposed to just a more generic I'm just 0:18:26.800 --> 0:18:28.640 going to play a concert and make you smile, which 0:18:28.680 --> 0:18:31.120 is great. It's great. I always thought of myself as 0:18:31.119 --> 0:18:34.240 being able to make people take an emotional journey three 0:18:34.240 --> 0:18:36.879 minutes at a time. But what I what I know 0:18:37.000 --> 0:18:40.480 now is where that the goal is to really affect 0:18:40.520 --> 0:18:43.720 people on an intimate level, so that if they are 0:18:44.119 --> 0:18:47.080 hurting past the point of I don't even want to 0:18:47.080 --> 0:18:50.840 live anymore, then this could affect that person in a 0:18:50.840 --> 0:18:51.480 positive way. 0:18:51.560 --> 0:18:53.320 And I think all are needed, and I don't think 0:18:53.320 --> 0:18:54.760 one's more important than the other. And I don't think 0:18:54.760 --> 0:18:56.840 you're even saying that I'm saying, I'm not. You're you're right, 0:18:58.359 --> 0:18:59.639 and I don't want to be a misconstrue. What you're 0:18:59.640 --> 0:19:01.800 saying is I don't believe that your message, and most 0:19:01.800 --> 0:19:04.520 people will hear that. But I think all are needed, 0:19:04.720 --> 0:19:10.200 and sometimes to be better at being able to have 0:19:10.280 --> 0:19:15.280 empathy or understanding that comes with extreme difficulty. Like any 0:19:15.320 --> 0:19:18.840 of the empathetic skills that I have, any of the 0:19:18.960 --> 0:19:22.160 understanding that I have that I can help with has 0:19:22.200 --> 0:19:30.040 always come through. It's really crappy stuff happening, and even 0:19:30.080 --> 0:19:32.920 with you know like a river the book and your 0:19:32.920 --> 0:19:38.560 tattoo says River, and you know your son and how 0:19:38.640 --> 0:19:44.720 that tragically changed your life and your whole family's life, 0:19:44.840 --> 0:19:49.040 And you would never wish that on anyone. The tools 0:19:49.200 --> 0:19:56.160 and the skills and the empathy that you gained from that, 0:19:56.160 --> 0:19:57.960 that you could go back, you'd never want to have 0:19:58.000 --> 0:20:00.200 to gain those if you were to ask, No, you 0:20:00.200 --> 0:20:03.200 don't want to gain it. You don't want It's terribly tragic. 0:20:04.800 --> 0:20:07.000 But what it seems to me again, from ten thousand 0:20:07.040 --> 0:20:12.080 feet up, you've taken those that skill set and now 0:20:12.119 --> 0:20:16.720 you're using it. Specifically the guy you met with for coffee. 0:20:16.920 --> 0:20:19.080 You know what I told that guy in the brief time, 0:20:19.119 --> 0:20:21.000 the twenty minutes. I told you that I was going 0:20:21.040 --> 0:20:23.679 to say only a few things that would matter, And 0:20:23.760 --> 0:20:27.760