Speaker 1: Hey, it's me Michael Costa. The Daily Show is on
Speaker 1: break for the holidays, but in the meantime we put
Speaker 1: together some special highlights just for you. We'll be back
Speaker 1: in the new year on January seventh with all new episodes.
Speaker 1: Eagle Past, Texas has become the epicenter of the national
Speaker 1: immigration debate, as over the last year, an unprecedented number
Speaker 1: of migrants crossed here to apply for asylum, and for
Speaker 1: many observers, this complex issue can only be summed up
Speaker 1: in one word, invasion.
Speaker 2: We are being invaded.
Speaker 3: We are being invaded. We're being invaded.
Speaker 4: We're being invaded, just like it's a military invasion.
Speaker 1: But how are the locals coping with this? Relentless onslaught.
Speaker 5: They've come and taken over the towel. It's our land,
Speaker 5: and there's just people coming.
Speaker 3: In causing uh, you know, havoc and craziness.
Speaker 6: There's chaos.
Speaker 3: Shouldn't you be welcoming?
Speaker 1: Don't you have any empathy for the journey they've taken together.
Speaker 6: They're not welcome the hell out of our place.
Speaker 3: You can't move around seeing them.
Speaker 7: You can't get a meal in a restaurant, can't get
Speaker 7: a hotel room unless you're willing to pay four hundred dollars.
Speaker 3: Wait, wait, who are you talking about right now?
Speaker 1: The State Guard from Florida, Tennessee, Arkansas, Idaho.
Speaker 8: Oh, what you'd need to be afraid of is some
Speaker 8: of these convoys of people.
Speaker 3: They're talking about Central American caravans.
Speaker 8: Oh, no, we're talking about the people that are invading
Speaker 8: the country here, not the Mexicos.
Speaker 6: The invasion here is from Governor Abbot and the Trumpers
Speaker 6: and the Maga people.
Speaker 9: Yes, Eagle Pass has been overrun since Governor Greg Abbott
Speaker 9: declared a crisis at the border and sent in the
Speaker 9: Texas National Guard, attracting a flood of Republican governors, congressional
Speaker 9: delegations in even billionaire weirdos.
Speaker 10: This is our tax payer dollars being put to use
Speaker 10: by coming out to Eagle Pass. And what's happened is
Speaker 10: it's jacked up the hotel prices.
Speaker 1: Our room is three hundred and seventy dollars and they
Speaker 1: don't even have any handlations understood, understood. What is your
Speaker 1: message to the people that want to come down here
Speaker 1: and don't come?
Speaker 3: Okay, but be more clear, please don't come.
Speaker 1: It's not just cool guys. And scarves that are being
Speaker 1: victimized in this conflict, but also local small business owners
Speaker 1: who resemble Sam Elliott. Right now, the only people that
Speaker 1: are going into the water are individuals from the press
Speaker 1: that want to see how ugly it is out there.
Speaker 1: The governor of Texas is here disrupting your job, and
Speaker 1: you wanted to port them get.
Speaker 7: Him out, because I mean, I'm expected to follow federal law,
Speaker 7: local law, state law.
Speaker 10: I would expect the same thing from our leader of
Speaker 10: our state.
Speaker 1: Sam Elliot and his Mustache's concerns were justified because when
Speaker 1: America sends its people to Eagle Pass, they're not always
Speaker 1: sending their best. Some I assume drove countless hours to
Speaker 1: sit outside a fence.
Speaker 3: But why this is my land.
Speaker 8: I'm from Texas.
Speaker 5: I'm the latter.
Speaker 8: Support those people who are fighting for me, Ma La
Speaker 8: my land. Do we have guts enough to defend ourselves?
Speaker 4: Do we?
Speaker 11: Now?
Speaker 3: Are?
Speaker 8: You're shuking your head?
Speaker 5: You don't really, I'm not practical.
Speaker 8: You're wearing a suit. You've been successful in the New
Speaker 8: York media. You know what, you sold your soul to
Speaker 8: the devil.
Speaker 1: If I sold my soul to the devil to be
Speaker 1: successful in news media.
Speaker 3: I would be more successful.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be sitting here at an Eagle Past, Texas.
Speaker 1: You think I want to stay at a Marriotte town
Speaker 1: plaza with no body lotion.
Speaker 8: That sounds like something the devil would site.
Speaker 1: Yes, Dan's fashion fatigue hurt and his outlook was very confrontational.
Speaker 1: So I decided to talk to the chairwoman of the
Speaker 1: county Republican Party for a more measured view.
Speaker 12: So we've had this invasion and it's really turned this
Speaker 12: town upside down.
Speaker 1: You mean from Governor Abbott, from the thirteen out of
Speaker 1: state Republican governor's news media such as myself.
Speaker 5: No, I'm talking about the illegal.
Speaker 3: Wetbax and I'm sorry, was what did you call them?
Speaker 1: Wetbas wetbax man, I haven't heard that word in a
Speaker 1: long time. Okay, Now that you'd gotten that out of
Speaker 1: her system, I was ready for a more nuanced conversation.
Speaker 5: We just want them to come legally through the front door.
Speaker 3: Calling them wet bax to me is not a we
Speaker 3: welcome you here.
Speaker 5: I want them to come legally.
Speaker 3: That's what I want.
Speaker 7: So they aren't wet backs, so they don't have to
Speaker 7: swim the river they wouldn't be Wetbax if they didn't.
Speaker 1: Obviously, there's some disagreement about whether we should let people
Speaker 1: from other countries seek refuge here and whether we should
Speaker 1: refer to them with vintage racist slurs, But as militarizing
Speaker 1: the border actually worked to keep anyone out. I asked
Speaker 1: Magali or Beanup whose pecan farm borders the Rio Grande.
Speaker 5: I asked them to several times, please don't put the
Speaker 5: wire up. We don't want it. It's a liability. Yeah,
Speaker 5: and they just came in and they put it up.
Speaker 1: Anyhow do you think the fencing and the buoys and
Speaker 1: the razor wire do you feel.
Speaker 3: Like that's working?
Speaker 5: No, No, not at all. The governor's just pushing them
Speaker 5: out to New Mexico, Arizona, to California. But guess what,
Speaker 5: they're still coming in.
Speaker 1: So if they haven't solved the migrant crisis, could there
Speaker 1: be another purpose for the thousands of state guards, miles
Speaker 1: of barbed wire, and throngs of sunburned politicians.
Speaker 5: And eagle pass I would have to say it has
Speaker 5: to do with the fact that it's an election.
Speaker 7: Here, a narrative is being told that creates chaos.
Speaker 3: Scarce people. It's what's going to win them the election.
Speaker 1: Do you think this issue at the border has a
Speaker 1: lot to do with Donald Trump's reelection?
Speaker 11: Yeah, you do.
Speaker 8: Trump is concerned about the welfare of the people made
Speaker 8: this country. He's not worried about trying to look good
Speaker 8: so that he can get a.
Speaker 1: Leg Guy with a golden toilet and a spray tan
Speaker 1: isn't worried about looking good.
Speaker 5: It's a political stunt.
Speaker 6: The Republican been there of course, who don't give a bam.
Speaker 1: I might have been Spanish, but I forgot ten days
Speaker 1: as a new politician.
Speaker 6: Well, it's kind of a heavier word than idiots, not
Speaker 6: as heavy, not as heavy as powers, but heavier than idiots.
Speaker 1: Stupid, somewhere between motherfucker and idiot.
Speaker 6: I would say so as.
Speaker 1: I'd come to understand. The border is a complex issue
Speaker 1: that affects people's real lives. It's so much more than
Speaker 1: a photohip. But before I left town, there was one
Speaker 1: more thing for.
Speaker 11: Me to do. Every election leaves a third of the
Speaker 11: country feeling like complete shit. But there's a large group
Speaker 11: of people who have immunized themselves against political disappointment. Their
Speaker 11: strategy is surprisingly effective.
Speaker 2: I am choosing not to vote during this election.
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm not voting for anyone.
Speaker 5: I just don't want to play the politic game.
Speaker 2: I literally took the word political and I've blocked it
Speaker 2: on all social media, so I don't even have yes,
Speaker 2: I don't have them.
Speaker 11: On your apps.
Speaker 5: Yes, blocked the word political.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 11: And these non voters practice political abstinence for a range
Speaker 11: of reasons.
Speaker 5: Is there a reason you're not voting?
Speaker 3: Not really, So politicians like.
Speaker 9: I just became really disgusted with the whole political process.
Speaker 10: Yeah.
Speaker 1: We waste way too much time and money and energy
Speaker 1: trying to get somebody in the White House when what
Speaker 1: we should be doing is focusing on a community.
Speaker 5: Did you think about voting for your local election?
Speaker 7: Uh?
Speaker 5: Okay, I don't think either of them are good leaders.
Speaker 5: One of them is definitely going to bring.
Speaker 4: Up more violence.
Speaker 11: So one candidate leading to more violence. It didn't get
Speaker 11: you to vote?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know. I don't know why. I just don't know.
Speaker 11: I didn't. Most people resented choosing between two candidates they
Speaker 11: didn't like, but this non voter had the opposite problem.
Speaker 6: I think either way, we have two great candidates, like
Speaker 6: one is an accomplished attorney and then one is an
Speaker 6: accomplished business person.
Speaker 5: But I feel like we need both skills.
Speaker 11: So we had an attorney business person, then you would
Speaker 11: maybe vote for them.
Speaker 5: Yes, that makes sense. Have you voted in past selection?
Speaker 2: I have voted in pass Life.
Speaker 11: Okay, Gotchen, you're choosing not to vote in this selection
Speaker 11: just because why?
Speaker 2: I have literally detoxed myself from a lot of toxicity,
Speaker 2: which includes live television, news and that kind of thing recently.
Speaker 2: When you think about the word toxicity, it's about digestion,
Speaker 2: and digestion comes from what we eat and consume, which
Speaker 2: also is what we see, what we hear.
Speaker 11: So I'm honestly genuinely inspired, and I too want to
Speaker 11: learn how to get toxicity out.
Speaker 5: I mean, don't get this on here.
Speaker 11: I'm having diarrhea for like, so not voting could actually
Speaker 11: cure my diarrhea.
Speaker 3: People have a lot of names for JD.
Speaker 4: Vans, weirdo, oddball, so if I'd freak seven days a week.
Speaker 3: But does he deserve this reputation thanks everything to.
Speaker 12: Some sportical stuff, some rules.
Speaker 4: Whatever makes sense. Nothing about the way he did that
Speaker 4: makes any sense. And recently Vance's wife out at him
Speaker 4: on National TV. For something even weirder.
Speaker 3: He has all sorts of dorky interests.
Speaker 4: I want him to.
Speaker 1: Explain what the dorky habits he had.
Speaker 3: She said, he's going to kill me for saying this.
Speaker 3: But it's Magic the Gathering, which was a card game.
Speaker 3: It's similar to like Pokemon.
Speaker 4: That's right before JD. Vance was a powerful political shape shifter.
Speaker 4: He played Magic the Gathering, a collectible cod game that's
Speaker 4: been around since the nineties. So we magically gathered a
Speaker 4: bunch of cod carrying dogs to see how they thought
Speaker 4: Vance's allegiance would affect their community.
Speaker 13: So what is Magic the Gathering and how would you
Speaker 13: explain it to someone who doesn't give a fuck about
Speaker 13: any of this year.
Speaker 12: It's a turn based card game. You get resources called mana,
Speaker 12: you get those by playing lands or other sources, and
Speaker 12: then you generally like will play creatures, and then that's
Speaker 12: what you used to attack your opponent, and you try
Speaker 12: to cumulate evans over time.
Speaker 13: Right, and at what point do you grow up and
Speaker 13: stop playing the shit?
Speaker 4: How do these supernerds feel about one of their own
Speaker 4: trying to move out of his mom's basement and into
Speaker 4: the White House.
Speaker 13: Are you worried that Jdvan's playing Magic will make you
Speaker 13: guys seem weird.
Speaker 7: No, no, no, he's a magic player, so either step up.
Speaker 7: In my book, you need a certain level of intelligence
Speaker 7: to play magic, yep.
Speaker 12: Because you're making a whole bunch of tactical decisions based
Speaker 12: on what's going on.
Speaker 13: Why, like being able to decide like I don't ever
Speaker 13: want to have a woman touch me.
Speaker 3: I would rather play with some dudes in a smelly room.
Speaker 7: It doesn't always smell invest in here.
Speaker 4: That's also I mean that his favorite strategy was something sinister.
Speaker 3: I think I still don't understand this game.
Speaker 13: Jdvan said that when he played Magic the Gathering, his
Speaker 13: favorite deck was yog Mouff's Boggain.
Speaker 3: What does this mean?
Speaker 12: It's a commo deck where you get to trade your
Speaker 12: life away for power.
Speaker 7: He's doing what he needs to win, and if he's
Speaker 7: been a dirty Yagma player, so is Yagma's disqualifying the
Speaker 7: way like a fellow shouldn't be president.
Speaker 2: I probably wouldn't trust someone if they're willing to sacrifice
Speaker 2: so much just to get ahead.
Speaker 3: Like how JD.
Speaker 13: Vans spend years talking about Trump and then totally flit
Speaker 13: and it's now running with him.
Speaker 12: Yeah, people who played it one pretty much too much
Speaker 12: for it to be fun anymore. You could draw twenty
Speaker 12: cards if you want, which gives you a ton of advantage.
Speaker 3: You can't be touched for a whole turn. I wouldn't
Speaker 3: worry about that.
Speaker 13: Pretty sure that effect is in play independent of cards.
Speaker 4: But was Vance's nerd credit enough to work a little
Speaker 4: magic in the voting book?
Speaker 3: Who here is voting for Trump? Vance?
Speaker 13: Who here is voting for Harris Waltz? Oh, and undecided voters?
Speaker 3: What are you gonna do? A get a voting move
Speaker 3: and roll a twenty sided die?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 3: Bens baby?
Speaker 13: What's harder to explain to your family being an undecided
Speaker 13: voter or being an adult man who plays magic together?
Speaker 3: Big undecided voter?
Speaker 7: Actually, my parents are Haitian like born and raised, so
Speaker 7: they're like, what do you mean?
Speaker 3: We don't eat cats?
Speaker 13: But like, did you tell parents that Jdvans also played
Speaker 13: magic the Gathering?
Speaker 10: No?
Speaker 7: But I don't think that's gonna assuay them.
Speaker 4: Will have these wizards and warlocks really undecided? I needed
Speaker 4: to explain politics in a way they could understand using
Speaker 4: a custom election twenty twenty four magic deck. I gave
Speaker 4: these the wheto munchers some truth to snack on.
Speaker 3: I summon JD.
Speaker 13: Vans to boy and wonder when JD Van's boy wander
Speaker 13: and just the battlefield, all Haitian creatures are returned to
Speaker 13: their owner's lands.
Speaker 3: That's free from So you thinking a little more decided now?
Speaker 3: I think so one down, three to go.
Speaker 4: However, these players were teaching me a valuable lesson that
Speaker 4: were all losers, but especially them.
Speaker 1: Want a creature like that gets exiled, you could choose,
Speaker 1: if it's your commander, to put it back in the
Speaker 1: command zone or leave it there.
Speaker 3: How do I lose? Quickly? Choose wrong?
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, I choose wrong.
Speaker 3: Tack a number one, two, three, or four? Okay? Alright, ready,
Speaker 3: well I went to three. I picked three. I'll pick two,
Speaker 3: all right, So RFK Junior and Elon must die. Great,
Speaker 3: I will pass the term play swamp. I'll go find
Speaker 3: an island. Can you go?
Speaker 7: You're not even having a little bit of fun.
Speaker 3: I am having absolutely no fun.
Speaker 4: Time to do it all favor and January sixth, The
Speaker 4: shit
Speaker 3: Game over Nerds