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Speaker 1: Scrubbing in with Becca Tilly and I Heart Radio Podcast.

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Speaker 1: I am so happy to be back. It feels like

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Speaker 1: it's been years and it actually has no Okay, we

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Speaker 1: we got to discuss this topic. Happy New Year, everybody,

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Speaker 1: Happy New Year. I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas,

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Speaker 1: an amazing holiday with their family. I want to talk

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Speaker 1: about this because you and I had this conversation briefly,

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Speaker 1: Tanya said. I think she was trying to make a joke,

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Speaker 1: but she was like, I haven't seen you in a year.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, no, you've seen me in a year. But

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Speaker 1: the joke is I haven't seen you since last year.

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Speaker 1: Oh so I haven't seen you since last year. But

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Speaker 1: it's true I haven't. I haven't seen you in since

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Speaker 1: last year. Right, But that's not what you said. Oh

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Speaker 1: I still don't see the difference, but I haven't seen

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Speaker 1: and sixty five days. That's what it felt like. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So it was just a tawny exaggeration, is what you're saying.

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Speaker 1: It was. It was because I was trying to make

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Speaker 1: you hang out with me, because I've been home now

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Speaker 1: for two days and I still hadn't seen you until now.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. I was sick when I got home,

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Speaker 1: and you would have thought that my boyfriend and I

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Speaker 1: hadn't seen each other. Is so good for us listening

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Speaker 1: to remind us don't be like that. And I am

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Speaker 1: like that, I am not friends only boyfriend, you know.

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Speaker 1: It's funny. I feel like I'm more like that with

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Speaker 1: my friends and guys. Like I feel like when I'm

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Speaker 1: talking to a guy, I'm kind of like, at least,

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Speaker 1: what do you read plans in two weeks? I mean,

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Speaker 1: at least you're not doing that to guys because we

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Speaker 1: the singleness would be a long term I do it.

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Speaker 1: I think I'm so annoying. Literally, like at four o'clock,

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Speaker 1: I'll be like, I haven't really talked to you all day,

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Speaker 1: like I talked to him two hours ago. Whatever, I

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Speaker 1: don't care. I just accepted who I am. Well, that's

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Speaker 1: a part of it. I mean, I think Tony's accepted

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Speaker 1: that she is a little a lot more needy than

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Speaker 1: I am. And I've and I hope I have that

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Speaker 1: I'm not you are the farthest thing from needy. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I have a question for non needy people. Are

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Speaker 1: needy people like we don't really irritate you that much?

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Speaker 1: You're just like, I'm not like that, right, No, I

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Speaker 1: mean you tell me you're saying you say, Tanya, you're

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Speaker 1: being needy, and I'm like, ok, well irritated. No, no no, no,

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Speaker 1: I mean I hang out with all and well you're

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Speaker 1: not needy towards me. But I mean I hang out

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Speaker 1: with her. Yeah, she but there are times where I'm like, Tany,

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Speaker 1: you're you're being needy or I am not as responsive

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Speaker 1: as she wants me to be, and like it gets sensitive,

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Speaker 1: so I have to It's a it's a strong part balance.

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Speaker 1: I have a lesson for all non needy people who

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Speaker 1: deal with needy people. If you just popped us a

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Speaker 1: quick text back, like hey, slammed at work, you're hot,

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Speaker 1: we'd be good. I think that Tony wants a full

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Speaker 1: rundown of what I've done the last four hours I've

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Speaker 1: been I've been out of town and so I mean

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Speaker 1: we cut in touch a little bit, but like I've

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Speaker 1: pretty much you're my best friend. Like I know what

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Speaker 1: you do, I know what you eat for breakfast every

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Speaker 1: day for God's sake, and so everyone knows. I've been

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Speaker 1: away for me for long that I wanted to, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, really catch up when I got home, and

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Speaker 1: I want to do that. Well, I just wasn't feeling

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Speaker 1: well and I felt like I wasn't ready for it.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't ready for your like this energy. I'm not

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Speaker 1: feeling well. Yeah. I told her I was sick. You

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Speaker 1: see you in two days. Yeah, And I planned tonight. Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean I I tried to like give her like

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Speaker 1: some crumbs to like hold her over, but it doesn't

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Speaker 1: always try. Um, But yeah, I mean, I guess my

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Speaker 1: thing was when I was home, so I went to

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Speaker 1: Georgia for Christmas um with my family, and then I

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Speaker 1: went to Florida for New Year's even everything, and that

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Speaker 1: whole time, I mean, I really tried to zone in

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Speaker 1: on my family A lot of time in the cabin,

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Speaker 1: I left my phone downstairs and didn't have it, and

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Speaker 1: I would get my phone and you know, I'd have

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Speaker 1: all these texts. But for me, it was kind of

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Speaker 1: like a nice disconnect. I didn't feel, like I told you,

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Speaker 1: I put on makeup one time to take family photos,

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Speaker 1: and that was the extent of looking like a human being.

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Speaker 1: I'm not kidding. I have never My my nephews were

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Speaker 1: watching trolls and I'm like that's me right now. Like

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Speaker 1: I haven't stopped eating eating. Well, I'm like so southern eating.

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Speaker 1: I've had water burger like twice a day for seven

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Speaker 1: days in a row. It's called burger burger. What a burger? Like?

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Speaker 1: What a burger wager? I used to call it that

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Speaker 1: when I was a little you know what's so funny

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Speaker 1: those I had the exact same break, but I was like,

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Speaker 1: I didn't I just didn't wear makeup. But I was

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Speaker 1: like in the sun and like chill. But we have

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Speaker 1: to talk about you didn't go to Tahiti like you

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Speaker 1: were planning on. This was dramatic traumatic. Yeah, So the

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Speaker 1: day before we were supposed to leave, Um, I got

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Speaker 1: hit with a really bad cold and I probably could

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Speaker 1: have made the trip, but my mom got the flu.

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Speaker 1: It's like going around and it's really bad. So we

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Speaker 1: had to cancel our trip, which was so such a

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Speaker 1: bummer summer. But your mom got insurance on it, so

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Speaker 1: that's important. Smart smart, Yeah, I always get insurance on

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Speaker 1: the big trips that you plan. Um, So we ended

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Speaker 1: up booking a trip to Kaba because she started feeling

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Speaker 1: better like four days later, so our trip was just shortened.

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Speaker 1: But um, we ended up going to Mexico and then

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Speaker 1: a bunch of my best friends were also in Mexico.

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Speaker 1: Um so I got to like spend time with my

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Speaker 1: family and like live my life. And I'm telling you

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Speaker 1: I'm going to live my life a little bit. We

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Speaker 1: all like the holidays, love them, love them, and literally

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Speaker 1: the last two weeks, I don't know what word will

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Speaker 1: describe torture hell with really high moments, which is hard

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Speaker 1: for me. I don't like a roller coaster. Like a

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Speaker 1: couple of days and I was like, this is the

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Speaker 1: best day ever, plummeting down, like I don't like the

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Speaker 1: boredom of it. I don't like the slow pace of it.

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Speaker 1: It makes me totally insane. I thought I was just

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Speaker 1: waiting for the second, waiting for the second, And then

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Speaker 1: the second came and I still was feeling real angsty

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Speaker 1: and took a turn on the third for the better

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Speaker 1: and I can see the light now. I'd like to know.

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Speaker 1: I mean, that would be interesting for people right in also,

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Speaker 1: trust I googled it. I googled like, but I'm talking

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Speaker 1: about our listeners. I think that's something to talk about,

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Speaker 1: because I mean, the holidays for me are like I

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Speaker 1: get to see my whole families together, and it's like

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Speaker 1: I don't have to do anything. I can look. I

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Speaker 1: felt the same way. There's like four million sites that

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Speaker 1: come up immediately, like getting through the holidays, like they're

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Speaker 1: really hard. I don't like that. Well, I get it.

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Speaker 1: If it's if it's like you're sad and there's like

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Speaker 1: you don't have family or there's something like that. I

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Speaker 1: know you that I know it's just something of out

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Speaker 1: it and it's dark out and I'm just like and yeah,

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Speaker 1: there were a couple of days where I was like,

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Speaker 1: you know, my head gets cuckoo, my head, there's not

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Speaker 1: enough happening. And for a person like me, yeah, you're

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Speaker 1: always go go go, it's rough. Like I finally am

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Speaker 1: starting to feel better, I'm still a little like, see,

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Speaker 1: what's so interesting is I feel like I'm the same

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Speaker 1: way like when I'm back, when I'm home and I'm here,

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Speaker 1: I'm on go go, go, go go, And then the

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Speaker 1: second time like turned off, I can just turn off.

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Speaker 1: And just I'm telling you, it was like I was

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Speaker 1: a living like what what what did you do different

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Speaker 1: that you haven't been doing that you feel like you

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Speaker 1: were living your life? Um, I wasn't thinking about anything.

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Speaker 1: See opposite, literally couldn't stop thinking. I was reading articles

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Speaker 1: like how to not think so much like I was

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Speaker 1: reading book like I read a bunch of books. I

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Speaker 1: just like mentally checked out and I wasn't over like, um,

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Speaker 1: so there's a big group of us. There's like guys

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Speaker 1: and girls, a bunch of friends. And this one guy

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Speaker 1: that I had I'd met him before, but ever really

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Speaker 1: got to really know him, and I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I have a little like, oh I can I have

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Speaker 1: a little crush on this guy, Like, you know, maybe

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Speaker 1: something's gonna happen, maybe something's not. He didn't end up

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Speaker 1: kissing me, so clearly wasn't interesting. But I moved on

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Speaker 1: past it. I didn't, you know what I mean, Like,

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Speaker 1: I just I didn't overthink anything. I just I was

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Speaker 1: just having fun and he was. He was a cabo

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Speaker 1: crush if he continues, You guys, right, resolutions, because I

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Speaker 1: think that was my other problem. I'm so aggressively working

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Speaker 1: on my resolutions and they're not working. That was making

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Speaker 1: me totally insane. I haven't, I haven't. I actually wanted

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Speaker 1: to talk about this because I this is how I

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Speaker 1: feel in my head. I see everybody making these very

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Speaker 1: specific resolutions, what they're going to change, what they're going

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Speaker 1: to do better, and I think, in my head, I

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Speaker 1: feel like, am I supposed to be doing those same

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Speaker 1: things because that's what everyone else is doing? Like, are

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Speaker 1: these are things? Do I really want to make these changes?

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Speaker 1: Because it ultimately yeah, And so I started thinking about one,

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Speaker 1: are the things that I would like to do differently?

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Speaker 1: I would like to not be late to everything in that,

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Speaker 1: but I was already late today, So it's like, and

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Speaker 1: that's okay. Like it's like, I think resolutions set you

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Speaker 1: up and then you fail and then you get upset,

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Speaker 1: like you're trying to feel likested on that. Do you

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Speaker 1: hate being late or do you not really care? I

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Speaker 1: think you do. I do. I don't like because the

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Speaker 1: thing I'm trying to fix, I hate it about myself.

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Speaker 1: It's my one thing I don't care about being late,

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Speaker 1: like my things like that's not on my list because

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Speaker 1: if I'm late, I'm late. If I'm on time, I'm

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Speaker 1: on time. If I don't care the thing that I'm

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Speaker 1: working on, um, that's my main resolution. It's the thing

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Speaker 1: that bugs me about myself so much it drives me nuts.

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Speaker 1: And now I'm aggressively trying to fix it. Supposedly, the

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Speaker 1: Internet said it will take seven years. Seven years, do

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Speaker 1: you break a mirror? No, you have to change something personality.

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Speaker 1: So really, yeah, Like I am inclined to be an overthinker,

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Speaker 1: and I have like I'll go to the dark place,

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Speaker 1: like a negative thought will like pop in my head

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Speaker 1: when there's no reason for thinking that. It just is

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Speaker 1: the way my brain works. So I'm like aggressively working

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Speaker 1: on that, and then when it's still happening, then you're

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Speaker 1: more mad because you're like, I'm trying so hard to

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Speaker 1: not do this. God, good luck to anyone trying to

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Speaker 1: change something major. I think that what I try and do,

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Speaker 1: and I'm I think instead of calling it a resolution,

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Speaker 1: you should call it an intention because I think like

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Speaker 1: when you set a resolution, like you set yourself up

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Speaker 1: for failure. Yeah, because you're not going to be able

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Speaker 1: to switch something about yourself just like that. Um. I

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Speaker 1: think what I try and do every year is takes

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Speaker 1: a couple of days to really like set your intentions

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Speaker 1: what you want to change, like the big big ticket

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Speaker 1: items in your life that you want to see movement in.

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Speaker 1: And then I kind of pick words that I kind

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Speaker 1: that I want to lean on for that year, like

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Speaker 1: just words. So like this this year, I really my

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Speaker 1: words are trust, um, trust, loyal, and unstoppable. And I

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Speaker 1: always want to think of those words when I'm like

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Speaker 1: dealing with different things in my life love, family, friends,

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Speaker 1: you know, all my relationships, um. And then I make

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Speaker 1: and then I really visually do what I make a

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Speaker 1: vision board every year and then someone email and I

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Speaker 1: can't find the email right now, but they really want

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Speaker 1: you to explain. Yeah, actually had a lot of people

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Speaker 1: asking a Yeah, it's actually really easy. So I mean,

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Speaker 1: just take a day and like really really like think

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Speaker 1: about things about yourself and things that you want to

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Speaker 1: see happen in the next year so that you can

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Speaker 1: visually put them on a piece of paper. So if

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Speaker 1: that is, you know, a relationship, or if that's you

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Speaker 1: have to be really super specific, like go through magazines

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Speaker 1: and rip out pictures of people in love that you

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Speaker 1: that you want to emulate, you know, like and rip

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Speaker 1: them out. If there's a career a career move that

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Speaker 1: you want to make, um, if there's uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: whether it's a step in your faith or something, just

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Speaker 1: whatever it is, think of go flip through magazines and

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Speaker 1: pull out pictures. I do a lot of words, so

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Speaker 1: when I find words that I'm flipping through, um, and

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Speaker 1: then you just literally glue it onto a poster board

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Speaker 1: and then I put it in my bathroom so I

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Speaker 1: can see it every day. And I swear it's really

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Speaker 1: crazy when you put things down on paper and you're

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Speaker 1: looking at them every day. It might not happen in

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Speaker 1: the next year. So like you obviously, like you're saying,

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Speaker 1: you don't, I don't get upset if something that I

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Speaker 1: say I want to happen the next year doesn't happen.

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Speaker 1: But I've put things on my vision board that just

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Speaker 1: happened last year. So it takes some time. But I

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Speaker 1: think like visually seeing and having it just like be

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Speaker 1: in your daily reminder is such a powerful thing. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I even had a goal setting meeting when I worked

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Speaker 1: for Dr Andrews in San Diego before I went on

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Speaker 1: the show, and um, we would have goal setting meetings

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Speaker 1: and he was really big on it, and I would

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Speaker 1: always kind of be like, like, what is this doing?

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Speaker 1: And so I remember writing down my number one thing

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Speaker 1: was I want to travel the world. So then the

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Speaker 1: Bachelor happened, and then literally the next few years of

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Speaker 1: my life it's been like travel, mainly travel, and that's

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Speaker 1: what I want to do a lot this year. And

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Speaker 1: I really like think about that. How I put that down,

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Speaker 1: this something I wanted to do and like put it

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Speaker 1: out there and it was I like finally expressed it

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Speaker 1: is in my head. I think I was like, how

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Speaker 1: am I going to travel right now? Like I don't

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Speaker 1: have any money. I work in this um so I'm

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Speaker 1: I've never done a vision board, Like aha, moment that

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Speaker 1: like I think writing it down, it's kind of a

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Speaker 1: good idea. So maybe it's not even just like I

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Speaker 1: want to travel, but like if you're trying to change

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Speaker 1: something about your personality writing down, Like I'm frustrated because

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Speaker 1: this is like maybe just writing it down and getting

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Speaker 1: it out like I just get I buy it. Just

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Speaker 1: a ton of magazines and I just flipped through and

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Speaker 1: things that catch my eye, like this is the craziest thing.

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Speaker 1: So you know our friend, um, Jenn Searle, she made

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Speaker 1: as we did this like together three years ago, she

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Speaker 1: made this vision board and she like ripped up like, um,

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Speaker 1: this beautiful beach you know photo that She's like, I

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Speaker 1: want to go to a place like this, just call her,

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Speaker 1: Just call her and have her to She put a

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Speaker 1: picture of this guy and this girl like kissing. She

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Speaker 1: ended up within the next two years, she ended up

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Speaker 1: marrying guy that looked exactly like the guy on her

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Speaker 1: vision board, and they went on their honeymoon to like

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Speaker 1: a place that looked like on that. And I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I swear and I swear by them too. I've had

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Speaker 1: so many things happened in my career that I put

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Speaker 1: on my vision board that have happened that have come

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Speaker 1: to life. So I need to pick a picture of

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Speaker 1: Chris Himsworth and his wife in um like the Hunt

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Speaker 1: and Bora Bora totally like guys like if if you

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Speaker 1: want your guy to be a good like you were

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Speaker 1: saying David Beckham, if you want a family man, you know, like,

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Speaker 1: you pick somebody then that represents that. Stick them on there.

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Speaker 1: It's so funny because you know, Jojo and I were

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Speaker 1: texting and she was watching Old Gray's Anatomy and she

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Speaker 1: was like, the way Derek looks at Meredith, and I

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Speaker 1: know I put Derrick Shepherd on last. Yeah, I hope

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Speaker 1: he'll be on any vision board I do for the

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Speaker 1: rest of my life. Happy New Year, Happy New Year.

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Speaker 1: It's Becca, Tania and Amy in easton the whole gang. Um. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well we were we with the new year coming, Tanya,

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Speaker 1: we um preface that we would be doing vision boards

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Speaker 1: and a lot of people didn't know what a vision

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Speaker 1: board was. And Tanny, you just use your relationship and

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Speaker 1: your vision board as an example. Amazing. So we want

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Speaker 1: to hear the story from your from your point of view. Okay,

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Speaker 1: are you ready more I tell you now, Yeah, we're ready. Okay.

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Speaker 1: So actually Tanya was there, so I guess this was

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Speaker 1: like two thousand fourteen, and we both like really mindfully

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Speaker 1: wanted to create our like our vision board. So I

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Speaker 1: took a lot of time and said, I spent an

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Speaker 1: entire day and I was really mindful about, uh, the

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Speaker 1: relationship sector specifically. So I broke it up into four

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Speaker 1: four groups that it is relationship um spiritual goals that

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Speaker 1: could be anything including like travel and anything that's like

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Speaker 1: self care and feeds the soul. Um. The other one

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Speaker 1: was physical, so that was like work out and all

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Speaker 1: in all that good stuff. And then the other one

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Speaker 1: was crea other side of it was career so like

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Speaker 1: personal um you know, career goals and stuff. So this,

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Speaker 1: this specific board was really powerful because this is the

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Speaker 1: one that manifested the hubs. So um. I found a

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Speaker 1: picture out of a magazine, um of this couple kissing,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, this is what love looks like.

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Speaker 1: And I put it on my board. And after I've

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Speaker 1: been dating my husband for my now husband at the time,

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Speaker 1: after I've been dating for like almost two months, I

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Speaker 1: looked at my board and I was like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: Twin is on my board, like literally literally literally Twin

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Speaker 1: like doppel Ganger. So it was just like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: like holy you know, I totally get it. It's just

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Speaker 1: like me. He was like twinning right there on the board.

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Speaker 1: So um, I don't know, I just really like I think,

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Speaker 1: you know, the law of attraction is a real thing,

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Speaker 1: and I think it helps manifest things in your life

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Speaker 1: like love and house and spiritual goals, career goals, at anything.

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Speaker 1: I think, you know, it's like we're like magnet it

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Speaker 1: right a brain. So yeah, do you did anything else

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Speaker 1: you put on the board? Happened? It's funny because because

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Speaker 1: that board was so powerful the year, because I because

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Speaker 1: it was you know, obviously the husband board. Um, I

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Speaker 1: saved it and I looked at it recently and there

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Speaker 1: was a pyramid on there. It was actually not pyramid,

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Speaker 1: a ruin from to Loom and that's where we went

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Speaker 1: for a honeymoon. And I was like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: we went to that ruin ruin on our honeymoon. I

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Speaker 1: didn't even know that I'd put it on there. It

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Speaker 1: was just like a Mexico photo of like a girl

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Speaker 1: out of bikini, like runt of the ruin. Wow, isn't

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Speaker 1: that nuts? And then I saw remember genuinely recreated the

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Speaker 1: picture like the kissing picture. No, I didn't recre right right,

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Speaker 1: you didn't. You didn't like, you didn't try to recreate it,

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Speaker 1: but you guys took a kissing photo and it literally

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Speaker 1: looks identical to the one that was on her vision. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, I had the one on the

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Speaker 1: vision board. And then I found a photo of my

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Speaker 1: phone I was kissing and I put him side by side.

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Speaker 1: It like already existed. It was actually at the Disneyland

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Speaker 1: that when we went to Disneyland for Christmas. It was

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Speaker 1: so this was so crazy. If if I've ever I

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Speaker 1: became a true believer after that, you know that, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, the staff is powerful. Visualization tools are really powerful. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I I'm excited to do the vision board now.

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Speaker 1: I think it's a fun like project anyway. But I

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Speaker 1: also think hearing stories like that and putting things into

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Speaker 1: perspective when you put something down, when you write it down,

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Speaker 1: when we say it out loud, there is something to that, yeah,

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Speaker 1: for sure. And it's like it's essentially just like what

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Speaker 1: are your soul's true desires and then putting them forward

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Speaker 1: in your mind and then you know, putting them there

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Speaker 1: to see every day too. And that's the other thing

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Speaker 1: is mine was like behind my closet door, so I'd

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Speaker 1: see it every day. So I just kind of like

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Speaker 1: if I could just put intention every day, like you know,

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Speaker 1: this is these are your goals, you know? And um,

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Speaker 1: it's funny because now they're like back on it. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: did I realize its him based on the photo? Or

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Speaker 1: did like my heart you know already know that was

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Speaker 1: coming and I just kind of put it, you know

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Speaker 1: what i mean. It's it's like, how does it work? Right?

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Speaker 1: Was it the chicken or the egg? Exactly? I was like,

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Speaker 1: maybe my you know spirit already knew like he's coming.

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Speaker 1: This is what he looks like, you know, just that's

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Speaker 1: why I picked it. But yeah, it's really it's really

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Speaker 1: a cool thing. It's like it's like, you know, the

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Speaker 1: whole thing of like thought become things. So, um, have

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Speaker 1: you majors yet, Tom, I'm doing it tonight. I already

387
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Speaker 1: set my intentions, like I wrote everything down, and um,

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Speaker 1: I just need to like go through the magazines and

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Speaker 1: cut it up and put it together. Yeah, I know

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna. I think I'm gonna do my next week.

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Speaker 1: So it's so exciting, it really is. Are you going

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Speaker 1: to put your posters Tony after you do it? I

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Speaker 1: put them in. I put them in my bathroom so

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Speaker 1: I see him every day when I like open my

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Speaker 1: bathroom drawer. Yeah that's a good one too. Yeah like

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00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:43,000
Speaker 1: the yeah, the mirrored the yeah, yeah, medicine thing. Thos

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Speaker 1: are always really good. I think it's good to look

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Speaker 1: at it every day, just kind of like you know,

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Speaker 1: re re engage. I love that. Well, thank you for

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Speaker 1: calling and telling us the story. I love it. It's

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Speaker 1: made me excited about doing one. Yea well, have fun

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Speaker 1: and have fun doing it. Thank you. Happy New Year,

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Speaker 1: Happy New Year, girl bye. That's what I like to hear.

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Speaker 1: That's positive. She's so happy. It sounds like a total

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Speaker 1: pain in the ask to cut out magazine things. So

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Speaker 1: if anyone's listening, going, I'm not doing that. No negative

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Speaker 1: take on this right stuff and I'll think stuff, but

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Speaker 1: I'm not cutting out and puffy pain. However you want

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Speaker 1: to do it, however you want to do it. I

410
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Speaker 1: saw a girl that did it. Send anyone that she

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Speaker 1: did it. I guess there's an app now that you

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Speaker 1: can do it. Yeah, there's some sort of app now.

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Speaker 1: So she made that. She made a vision board on

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Speaker 1: an app where she gets like how to use an app.

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Speaker 1: I'm just going to write stuff down and however you

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Speaker 1: do it, I think there's more, like I said, I

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Speaker 1: mean mine when I did it was like in a

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Speaker 1: notebook that I haven't seen since, and it was I

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Speaker 1: didn't look at it every day. I was just written

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Speaker 1: down somewhere. Um. But I do believe in making intentional decisions.

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Speaker 1: I've I haven't had a dctor pepper in three days.

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Speaker 1: I hate life right now, but like I'm getting through it,

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Speaker 1: you know, and I know that somewhere beyond and you're

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Speaker 1: just this hump. Yeah, I will feel good eventually, and

425
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,320
Speaker 1: I'm not giving it up forever because I love it

426
00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:09,239
Speaker 1: and I don't want to give it up forever. But

427
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:13,800
Speaker 1: I've noticed that I almost can't function until I have

428
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:16,880
Speaker 1: a Dr Pepper and I'm like crazy crazy And it's

429
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,000
Speaker 1: so because I'm addicted to coffee. But if I don't

430
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,200
Speaker 1: have it for a day, like I'm chill. Yeah, I'm

431
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:24,400
Speaker 1: not chill, and I'm I gave up fast food. I'm

432
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:28,359
Speaker 1: also not chill about that. It's all I can think about. Yeah,

433
00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:32,280
Speaker 1: because here's my thought. I was like, I can get

434
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,280
Speaker 1: this is like a mental thing at this point, like

435
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:37,879
Speaker 1: do do I need? Am I hungry? Like do I

436
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:41,840
Speaker 1: do I need these things? Or am I just so

437
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:44,280
Speaker 1: used to them that it's comfortable. I think maybe if

438
00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:46,840
Speaker 1: you cut down to like one Dr Pepper a day,

439
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:49,600
Speaker 1: because you usually have three and one fast food a

440
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:52,760
Speaker 1: day every other day. But I also think that's why

441
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:55,280
Speaker 1: a lot of people feel they get this like insecure

442
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 1: feeling about I think I struggled with it too, is

443
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,960
Speaker 1: that it's like, oh, it's this new start and it's like, okay,

444
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,840
Speaker 1: I don't have anything specific, Like I remember going into

445
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:05,960
Speaker 1: the new year, and I was thinking, like, I don't

446
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:09,400
Speaker 1: have anything like specific, and it's making me feel stressed

447
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 1: or like not motivated. If you gave yourself a day

448
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:15,520
Speaker 1: to really think about it, I think there's things that

449
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:17,440
Speaker 1: you I know what I'm saying, but I mean I could.

450
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,720
Speaker 1: The thing is, of course, that's what the new year represents.

451
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:23,080
Speaker 1: It's new, it's fresh, it's clean. But at the same time,

452
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:24,960
Speaker 1: if if it takes a few weeks to figure out

453
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:29,320
Speaker 1: what you're gonna do, like that's okay too. Give yourself months, yeah,

454
00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:31,879
Speaker 1: months or whatever it is. It depends on seven years.

455
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:35,520
Speaker 1: Seven years, it's seven years to fully change something about

456
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:39,200
Speaker 1: your personality. So if you're like inclined to do a

457
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:43,040
Speaker 1: certain thing, like go to the dark place for no reason,

458
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 1: I also believe that this is my person you just

459
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:50,480
Speaker 1: go to the positive place, my personal experience, my life prayer.

460
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:56,359
Speaker 1: I know, I totally agree, but like I'm trying trying

461
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,800
Speaker 1: that so hard, but then I just go right back

462
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:00,800
Speaker 1: to the like dark place. I don't know, how do

463
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:04,800
Speaker 1: you not do that? You just keep praying, you honestly, like,

464
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:06,879
Speaker 1: and do you pray to not go to the dark place?

465
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:11,040
Speaker 1: On top of whatever you're like praying for you can

466
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,680
Speaker 1: just like pray. You can just pray, Sure, you can't.

467
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:17,960
Speaker 1: You have to prepare. Well, prayer and prepare kind of

468
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:19,440
Speaker 1: go hand in hand. I don't have to prepare. Why

469
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:21,679
Speaker 1: do I have to prepare? Prepare for what? Well, Like

470
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:23,560
Speaker 1: I guess it just depends on like if you're praying

471
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:26,119
Speaker 1: for like that job, you know, you can't just like

472
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:29,760
Speaker 1: sit there and just pray. Let's like take steps to Yeah,

473
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 1: there's actually I'm just saying like mentally, sometimes you get

474
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 1: caught up in your head like everything's fine, and then

475
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:38,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, but it's not fine, but it's fine. I'm

476
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 1: not kidding. Years ago, I'll never forget this. I think

477
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,280
Speaker 1: it was like twelve or something. I was in church

478
00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:44,800
Speaker 1: and there we were talking. That was part of the message.

479
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:46,720
Speaker 1: It was talking about like how you can go into

480
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:48,960
Speaker 1: a dark place even if everything in your life is

481
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:52,359
Speaker 1: going great, evidence is all positive, and I still can

482
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:54,159
Speaker 1: go to the dark place. And he was like, you know,

483
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,840
Speaker 1: sometimes you just have to say like that, like that's

484
00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 1: the devil trying like everything's great, so why want that's

485
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:01,680
Speaker 1: one the Devil's going to be like I'm coming in

486
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,360
Speaker 1: to like bring you down and get into your head

487
00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:06,800
Speaker 1: and tell you everything's not great. And that's when you

488
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:09,879
Speaker 1: just pray and you're like get me all of this Jesus.

489
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:12,679
Speaker 1: And do you know it's crazy. I used to be

490
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,439
Speaker 1: a really anxious person. I used to really be like

491
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:20,000
Speaker 1: crippled by anxiety. Yeah, no, like it was bad. And

492
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:22,679
Speaker 1: like ever since I started really like going to church

493
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:25,520
Speaker 1: and like getting like you know, like recommitting to my faith,

494
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 1: like I have no anxiety. Beer people want it could

495
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 1: be like meditating. Really, yeah, it's really been like a

496
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 1: game changer. Like do you think I'm an anxious person? Um? So,

497
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about so part of my New

498
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,959
Speaker 1: Year's goals that I have come up with, and this

499
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:46,439
Speaker 1: has actually been ongoing for a long time, but I

500
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:50,400
Speaker 1: wanted to kind of change my um fashion a little bit,

501
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:52,520
Speaker 1: go a little more. You know, I don't know, I

502
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 1: I think I know what I like, but I wanted

503
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,040
Speaker 1: someone who's a little more like edgy and different than

504
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,880
Speaker 1: me to come in and kind spice things up. Um.

505
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,879
Speaker 1: And so one of my friends had a friend who's

506
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 1: like very stylish, and so she like went through and

507
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:10,080
Speaker 1: basically shopped for me, and it just was like here,

508
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:12,720
Speaker 1: put outfits together for me and then I just have

509
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:15,040
Speaker 1: to click on the links and go buy them and

510
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,320
Speaker 1: one of the pairs of boots or from ever Lane

511
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:21,320
Speaker 1: because it's classic. And that's why I think ever Lane

512
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,400
Speaker 1: is so popular, because it's really classic pieces that are

513
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,479
Speaker 1: never gonna go out a style. Yeah, but there were

514
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:28,760
Speaker 1: these really cute little black booties and I was like,

515
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:32,119
Speaker 1: I know all about ever Lane. Um. Yeah. And so

516
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:35,200
Speaker 1: for those of you who don't know about ever Lane, UM,

517
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,760
Speaker 1: we always talk about when you go into a store

518
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:43,440
Speaker 1: and there's like basic classic pieces and there the charge

519
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:47,679
Speaker 1: is so terrifying that you're wondering, am I buying something

520
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:50,439
Speaker 1: that I could get for way less? Um? Something like

521
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:54,159
Speaker 1: so simple white T shirt for a hund Yeah. Well

522
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 1: the example in here it's like, would you buy a

523
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:57,440
Speaker 1: T shirt for fifty dollars if you knew it was

524
00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 1: only seven dollars to make? Most like not um. And

525
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:05,480
Speaker 1: with ever Lane, they tell you what they have. What's

526
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:08,879
Speaker 1: the word I'm looking for? The cost is what they

527
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:11,080
Speaker 1: paid for it. Yeah, So ever Lane tells you what

528
00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:14,240
Speaker 1: they paid for the product instead of um just putting

529
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:16,760
Speaker 1: the price on their not giving any insight to what

530
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:22,359
Speaker 1: it really costs. Um. So they are very transparent about

531
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,639
Speaker 1: how they buy the clothes, what they pay for the clothes,

532
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 1: and it's all very classic pieces for men and women. Um.

533
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:32,680
Speaker 1: The guy's clothes are great, the girls clothes are great.

534
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:34,400
Speaker 1: I have some T shirts from them that I love.

535
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:39,440
Speaker 1: I have some sweaters. I have the Bomber jacket, ever

536
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,879
Speaker 1: laning it up, ever leaning it up. Um. Some of

537
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:46,439
Speaker 1: the essentials. They have the Crew T shirts with the

538
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:49,439
Speaker 1: little pocket tea that I have. Oh yeah, that shirts

539
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,720
Speaker 1: so cute. I know, I really enjoy it. Um. Some

540
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:56,040
Speaker 1: of the other favorites. They have the Kashmir Crew, the

541
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:59,720
Speaker 1: box cut Tea. They have the high Rice skinny Jean,

542
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,359
Speaker 1: the mid Rise Jeane, the modern Boyfriend Jean. For all

543
00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:05,919
Speaker 1: the denim lovers. They have the they have flats, they

544
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 1: have booties. Basically anything you could ever want in clothing,

545
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:11,400
Speaker 1: they have it on the side. Look at the high

546
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:14,399
Speaker 1: Rise skinnies. You need some new high rise SKINNI need

547
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:19,040
Speaker 1: some new high skinnies. Um, and right now if you order,

548
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 1: you'll get free shipping on your first order. If you

549
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:24,960
Speaker 1: go to ever laine dot com slash Becca that's everline

550
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 1: dot com, slash Becca everlane dot com slash B E

551
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:33,040
Speaker 1: C C A. Do you think Megan markles like Chilling

552
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 1: and her ever Lane and the Royalties home for sure?

553
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:40,919
Speaker 1: What's that place called Kensington Palace? What's Westminster Abbey that's

554
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 1: where they're getting married. Wait? Yeah, yeah, but they're in

555
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:49,320
Speaker 1: Kennington right now, Kensington Palace. I went to Kensington Palace

556
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:52,399
Speaker 1: by myself one time. I was in London. My sister

557
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:55,080
Speaker 1: was sleeping because of jet lag, and I was like,

558
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:57,439
Speaker 1: I can't go to London and not see any of

559
00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 1: like the historic you can go to the outside. No,

560
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:02,040
Speaker 1: no, no no, was just I'm standing on the outside. I

561
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:06,240
Speaker 1: have a giant Chargers puffer jacket on and I'm holding

562
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 1: an umbrella, and I asked the stranger to take a

563
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 1: picture of me. So it's just me outside. I'll try

564
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:13,880
Speaker 1: to find it. Don't let you in like the White House? No, well,

565
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:15,679
Speaker 1: I don't know. I didn't try their guards out there,

566
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:19,639
Speaker 1: who do might? I don't know. I'm just trying to

567
00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:22,120
Speaker 1: be a positive thinker. I like this. Yeah, we'll try

568
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:23,679
Speaker 1: to get into Kinting the palace. Let you know how

569
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:26,520
Speaker 1: it goes. Um. I we're about to get into emails,

570
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:28,720
Speaker 1: which is one of my favorite parts of us doing

571
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:33,920
Speaker 1: the show, and I love how much y'all care about

572
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:38,160
Speaker 1: emailing us your problems or anything you need advice on.

573
00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:41,680
Speaker 1: I get so many tweets and messages about what is

574
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:45,040
Speaker 1: the email? Like I have I need advice on something.

575
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:47,840
Speaker 1: It makes me feel like very qualified and I don't

576
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,560
Speaker 1: know if I am totally This one girl message just

577
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:53,160
Speaker 1: was like, no, it's not you guys aren't doing a

578
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 1: podcast for a while, but I need your help. Wait

579
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:58,720
Speaker 1: would say, I can plow it up. I can't remember.

580
00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:01,360
Speaker 1: I feel like we're helping because those who cannot do teach,

581
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:03,920
Speaker 1: That is what I say. Yeah, I mean we're doing

582
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 1: a lot of teacher. One. Um, so this is from

583
00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:12,800
Speaker 1: Jill advice needed please, And she sent like a like

584
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:17,000
Speaker 1: A I don't even know that. Yeah, um so this

585
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:19,600
Speaker 1: is from Jill. She said, Hey, beca. I recently ended

586
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:22,120
Speaker 1: a relationship with a guy who I dated for three years.

587
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,400
Speaker 1: We broke up because I was having trust issues with

588
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:26,280
Speaker 1: him and he refused to ever let me look at

589
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 1: his phone. In the end, I could tell he was

590
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:30,880
Speaker 1: hiding something from me, and it came down to me

591
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:32,880
Speaker 1: telling him that he could either show me his phone

592
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:35,680
Speaker 1: or we were done. He insisted that he wasn't hiding anything,

593
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 1: but still refused to let me look at his phone

594
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 1: because he said that that was none of my business

595
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 1: and thus ended our relationship. For reference, I'm twenty two.

596
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 1: So my question is do you think you should have

597
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:49,720
Speaker 1: ever have the right to go through your significant other's phone,

598
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:52,920
Speaker 1: and if so, what circumstances do you think this would

599
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 1: be warranted? Sincerely, Jill from This is actually really interesting

600
00:29:57,080 --> 00:30:00,560
Speaker 1: into topic. I'm going to start with my person story. Yeah,

601
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, I think you have something to

602
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 1: speak to this. So Robert and I, um we I

603
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 1: don't even know how long we were together at this point,

604
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 1: and no, not a year. No, no, that was like

605
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:18,000
Speaker 1: not even fully together for a full year. This was

606
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:22,680
Speaker 1: like a few months into the into the relationship, and um,

607
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 1: you know, as my first serious relationship. And so I

608
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 1: think I naturally had just like trust issues in general.

609
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:30,160
Speaker 1: And Robert's like so good looking and so many girls

610
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:33,920
Speaker 1: are interested in him, and his job is traveling with

611
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:38,000
Speaker 1: these like beautiful So it took some moments for me too,

612
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:43,000
Speaker 1: and I still struggled with him throughout a relationship. But um,

613
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:46,080
Speaker 1: we were in the car one night and his friend

614
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 1: had texted. I was like playing the music from his

615
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 1: phone in his car, and his friend texted him something

616
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,400
Speaker 1: sarcastic to me about me, and so I was like, oh,

617
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna respond to him. And then the phone locked,

618
00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 1: and so I was like, oh, watch your Pascoe and

619
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:02,560
Speaker 1: I was like, cat, I didn't. I'm not someone who

620
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 1: looks through someone's phone, right, and it's like not common

621
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:08,600
Speaker 1: to I was like what, and he was like, I'm

622
00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:10,600
Speaker 1: not giving you my pass code. And I was like

623
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:17,440
Speaker 1: thing like that before the phone locked. Yeah, yeah, because

624
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 1: I was like texting with important information. It's important information.

625
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:23,480
Speaker 1: So you were in the phone. I was in it. Yeah,

626
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 1: I was playing music and I'm like, I said, it's

627
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:27,680
Speaker 1: not like I was. I was like on the music app.

628
00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:30,240
Speaker 1: And then his front and texted, and so I went

629
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 1: back and forth with him for a little bit, um

630
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:35,840
Speaker 1: like laughing telling Robert what I was saying. So he

631
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:38,720
Speaker 1: like didn't give me the pass code, and so we

632
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 1: kind of got into an argument about it, and I

633
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:44,080
Speaker 1: was like, I have not done anything that would show

634
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:46,280
Speaker 1: you that I was had any interest in going through

635
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:49,720
Speaker 1: your phone, like you go on trips with these other girls.

636
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:52,239
Speaker 1: Like I think we're past the point of me not

637
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:55,440
Speaker 1: trusting you in that, but that raises suspicion that you

638
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:57,040
Speaker 1: want to give me your pass code. Yeah, And I

639
00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,720
Speaker 1: also think it kind of is weird because I mean,

640
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:01,960
Speaker 1: I'm see you guys were just dating, but when you

641
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,200
Speaker 1: go further down the line and you get married, like

642
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:08,080
Speaker 1: you have each other's passcordes to everything you do. Yeah,

643
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 1: I think so, I think so you don't. All my

644
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:14,200
Speaker 1: married friends have each other's passcordes and stuff. I need

645
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:16,600
Speaker 1: your passcord for the Netflix. I need your passcord for this,

646
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:20,960
Speaker 1: and it's so different than your phone. So anyways, he

647
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 1: he ended up like after he could tell I was upset.

648
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 1: He was like, here, this in my pass code. I'm like, no,

649
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 1: I don't. I mean, at this point, it's like we're not.

650
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:32,840
Speaker 1: I'm already mad, right, like you giving me your passcort

651
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:37,240
Speaker 1: at this point help? So like I was mad. I mean,

652
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:40,080
Speaker 1: we went, we went our separate ways, and then we

653
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:42,719
Speaker 1: ended up meeting up the next day and he was like,

654
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 1: you can literally go through anything in my phone, and

655
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:48,479
Speaker 1: I was like, it's not that I have no desire

656
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:50,760
Speaker 1: to do that, but it was how quick you didn't

657
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:52,640
Speaker 1: want to give it to me. He was I'm just

658
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:54,480
Speaker 1: playing Devil's advocate because I really want to try and

659
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 1: work through this. Yeah, maybe he's saying, like I need

660
00:32:58,120 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 1: my pass code, Like do you know what I mean?

661
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:02,920
Speaker 1: Like in the same he's like, I got nothing to hide,

662
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 1: but why do you need my past because they need

663
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 1: to get in your phone to finish texting your friends.

664
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:10,320
Speaker 1: It's such a benign question when that happens to me, Oh,

665
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:12,880
Speaker 1: can you type in your pass code? I don't know,

666
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 1: like a pass code. Some people are just like weird

667
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 1: about it, Like I don't really give out my email password,

668
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 1: not that I have anything to hide in my email,

669
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:22,560
Speaker 1: but it's like you're not really supposed to just float

670
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 1: those things around to everybody, right, But I don't take

671
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 1: Robert is like the most opposite version of like malicious

672
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:34,040
Speaker 1: or whatever. Want it hurts me. So for me, you know,

673
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:36,960
Speaker 1: once it came looking back at it now, I'm like,

674
00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's just a knee jerk reaction

675
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:42,440
Speaker 1: of I don't know what it was, but it ticked

676
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 1: me off. I wouldn't like it any interesting. I don't

677
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 1: think I would care. Yeah, well, that's that's what the conversation.

678
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:50,160
Speaker 1: It's like, that's why it's so interesting. I don't think

679
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:53,160
Speaker 1: this girl should have broken up with the guy. I

680
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:55,840
Speaker 1: will have if she said it's me or let me

681
00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:58,240
Speaker 1: look at your phone. Well, no, she said she was

682
00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 1: having trust issues with him, and then he didn't let

683
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 1: her look at the phone. But he's saying, it's the

684
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 1: only way I can get you to trust me is

685
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:10,880
Speaker 1: by having you have the ability to go through my phone.

686
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:14,240
Speaker 1: On principle, he's probably like, we got way more issues

687
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 1: than this phone. I mean, I'm just saying my ex

688
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:21,879
Speaker 1: boyfriend gave me. I had his Facebook password, I had

689
00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:25,319
Speaker 1: his Gmail password, I had every single password. I can't

690
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 1: remember why I need. I feel like I don't even

691
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:29,000
Speaker 1: know if I asked or if you just gave it

692
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 1: to me. And I never looked through any of it.

693
00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:33,160
Speaker 1: Like I checked his Gmail. I think wants to make

694
00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:35,440
Speaker 1: sure he got some email from my brother or something.

695
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 1: I never looked through any of his stuff, but the

696
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 1: fact that I had it made me feel secure. But

697
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:44,240
Speaker 1: I think that's just a total false sense of security.

698
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 1: It may be, but everybody has something right. But I'm

699
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:49,920
Speaker 1: trying to say in the bigger picture for everyone listening,

700
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:54,400
Speaker 1: like I think it's okay to have some privacy or

701
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:56,600
Speaker 1: things that are just your own, even if you're in

702
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:59,239
Speaker 1: a relationship. I don't know. I'm I just think in

703
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 1: a relationship, if it should there should be a level

704
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 1: of trust and openness that someone having the passcoe to

705
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 1: your phone, it doesn't make me trustworthy. I think that's

706
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:09,759
Speaker 1: where I'm at with it. Me having his passcode, him

707
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:13,879
Speaker 1: having mine is a false sense of security. But if

708
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:16,919
Speaker 1: if someone said to me, she said it came down

709
00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:18,719
Speaker 1: to me telling him that he could either show me

710
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:23,960
Speaker 1: his phone or we were done, you gotta go. No,

711
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:27,800
Speaker 1: he needed to say you gotta go. See, I totally disagree.

712
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:33,320
Speaker 1: It's so violating on some level. Why is our whole

713
00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:37,040
Speaker 1: relationship determined by whether you have my phone or not?

714
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 1: And so he might im because to me, it's like

715
00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:42,080
Speaker 1: so simple if you don't have anything to hide, it's

716
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:45,520
Speaker 1: like if it's come, if you're if there's that is,

717
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:49,319
Speaker 1: if there's that much insecurity with just the phone here,

718
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 1: you go look at it. Well, then you you move

719
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:54,719
Speaker 1: on to the next issue, right Because I think this

720
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:56,839
Speaker 1: guy knew we've got problems, and I'm going to give

721
00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:59,560
Speaker 1: her my phone today and tomorrow it's going to be

722
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:05,000
Speaker 1: the next thing the next they already had problems. Yeah,

723
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:09,120
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'd like to like ask around. This

724
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:12,320
Speaker 1: is just my personal thing on it. Easton is married, Easton,

725
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:16,320
Speaker 1: what are your thoughts on this? Uh, my wife and

726
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 1: I have each other's pass codes, But do you look

727
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:21,120
Speaker 1: at her phone? I don't look at her phone, But

728
00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:23,319
Speaker 1: that doesn't matter because they have each other's. I'm with you,

729
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:26,160
Speaker 1: east and I think when I get married, I'm gonna

730
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:28,520
Speaker 1: that's just the type of relationship that i want. That's

731
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:30,840
Speaker 1: the type of marriage that I want. And I want

732
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:36,279
Speaker 1: so much trust and faith and security that I don't

733
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:40,239
Speaker 1: need the pass code. That to me is the ultimate win.

734
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:42,759
Speaker 1: And look, he'll probably give it to me. I don't care.

735
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:44,719
Speaker 1: I don't want it. He can have he can just

736
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 1: have my phone. I don't care. But what I'm saying

737
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:49,040
Speaker 1: is like, I want it to be so much beyond that.

738
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,239
Speaker 1: That has nothing to do with a pass code or

739
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 1: an email password. It's not about that. That's the ultimate

740
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:59,560
Speaker 1: pass code. It's the pass code to the heart. Wow. Right,

741
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:03,560
Speaker 1: I think the goal for me would be so trusting

742
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:07,680
Speaker 1: and have faith because you can have the pass code

743
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:10,399
Speaker 1: and worry about four and twelve things. It's a band aid.

744
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 1: So what if if you're like, if you are constantly

745
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:20,280
Speaker 1: looking over and he's texting or emailing and you see

746
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 1: a girl's name keep popping up, it could be just

747
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:25,560
Speaker 1: his friend or whatever. I'm not gonna worry about it.

748
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 1: I'm going to be so I want to be so

749
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 1: past that because when I go to the dark place,

750
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:32,759
Speaker 1: like I'm her what's her name, I'm Jills sometimes where

751
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 1: I get like anxious or worried about something and I

752
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:37,080
Speaker 1: make it up in my head, and I think, if

753
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:39,640
Speaker 1: I don't keep that in check, it's super frustrating to

754
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:42,920
Speaker 1: the guy. So I think that you got to just

755
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:47,680
Speaker 1: be like because every time I ever do that, the

756
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:52,360
Speaker 1: answer is always nothing. Do you know what I mean? Like, well,

757
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 1: we've discussed this, and this actually has nothing to do

758
00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:57,799
Speaker 1: with the passcode. This is just letting letting her see

759
00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:01,359
Speaker 1: the phone. She wants to dig the phone. She wants

760
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:03,400
Speaker 1: to go to the phone, right And I think that

761
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:06,479
Speaker 1: he's like, if you need that, what are you gonna

762
00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:08,480
Speaker 1: need tomorrow and the next day and the next day.

763
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:11,600
Speaker 1: It's just bad path. I don't know if you got

764
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:13,640
Speaker 1: anything from this, Jill. I'm kind of in the same

765
00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:15,319
Speaker 1: boat with you because I've had a similar I mean,

766
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:18,480
Speaker 1: that has been an issue, and I would I'm I

767
00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:20,600
Speaker 1: would like to have the pass code. I don't need

768
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:23,279
Speaker 1: passwords to everything, but I would like to say I

769
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:25,880
Speaker 1: wouldn't like there to be any drama if I needed

770
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:28,360
Speaker 1: to look at something like get something in his phone

771
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:35,720
Speaker 1: and it not be this huge thing. But the good

772
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:39,799
Speaker 1: thing about different people is different opinions. Yeah, I want

773
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 1: to have so much calm, That's what we all want,

774
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:49,200
Speaker 1: but we're all humans, we all social media. It's just, oh,

775
00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:50,520
Speaker 1: I just feel like it's such a bad pass You're

776
00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 1: gonna look through the phone and see some random photo

777
00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:54,279
Speaker 1: and then she's gonna be like, what is this and

778
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:58,560
Speaker 1: it's just oh, Pandora's box mess Um. So this email

779
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,759
Speaker 1: actually I really like because it's actually something I've kind

780
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:05,360
Speaker 1: of been dealing with lately. Which the Brittany from Brittany

781
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:09,759
Speaker 1: about following on following, so it says, Hi, beca, I

782
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,920
Speaker 1: just recently went through a breakup and wanted to hear

783
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:14,400
Speaker 1: your take on this. Do you find that when you

784
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:16,120
Speaker 1: break up or stop talking to a guy that you

785
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:18,200
Speaker 1: were pretty serious with, it makes it easier to un

786
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 1: follow that personal and social media That sound creepy. But

787
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:23,640
Speaker 1: I noticed you and Robert don't follow each other anymore,

788
00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:25,880
Speaker 1: but are still friends. Why do you still find yourself

789
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:28,920
Speaker 1: looking at his page often? Does it make things easier

790
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:32,960
Speaker 1: or harder? Would love to hear your thoughts on this, Thanks, Brittany. So, Robert,

791
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:36,479
Speaker 1: when we decided to end things, he unfollowed me, and

792
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:38,600
Speaker 1: I was kind of in a place where I wasn't

793
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,520
Speaker 1: sensitive to that. I was sensitive to him and following me,

794
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:45,200
Speaker 1: but I was like, you know what, after thinking about it,

795
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:46,719
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, if this is what he needs

796
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 1: to do to move on, then that's totally fun. I

797
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:51,440
Speaker 1: get it. So I haven't really had any issues. I

798
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 1: like still followed him, kept all our pictures up and

799
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:56,000
Speaker 1: I plan on keeping those up because their memories to me,

800
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,279
Speaker 1: and they happened, and they were very fond memories and

801
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:01,160
Speaker 1: it's not something I want to delete out of my

802
00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 1: like Instagram memory or real life memory. Um. And just

803
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:10,480
Speaker 1: recently I noticed that every time he posted a story

804
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:13,359
Speaker 1: or anything, it was the first one that popped up,

805
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:17,240
Speaker 1: so like, if I was watching stories, his was the first,

806
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:18,840
Speaker 1: like it would always be like in the time, so

807
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:22,120
Speaker 1: like I couldn't avoid it. And I noticed I would,

808
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:24,719
Speaker 1: I like find myself watching them and thinking like, oh,

809
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:26,480
Speaker 1: I wonder where he is, like is he there with

810
00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 1: someone else? And it's like, I don't think. I Like

811
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:32,759
Speaker 1: I always said, I'm not gonna it's gonna hurt when

812
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:35,000
Speaker 1: he starts dating someone else, and I don't like to

813
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:37,360
Speaker 1: be in that mind space of wondering like who is

814
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:40,240
Speaker 1: he with? What is he doing? And so not seeing

815
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:43,480
Speaker 1: that on a regular basis I think has given me

816
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:46,400
Speaker 1: more like peace, and that made me feel totally. I

817
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:50,279
Speaker 1: think when people um talk about like how it's so

818
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:53,880
Speaker 1: dramatic and like, oh, you know, I'm following is so dramatic,

819
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:56,279
Speaker 1: I'm like, I get it. I think it's so hard

820
00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:59,640
Speaker 1: to like constantly be seeing your ex just being bombarded

821
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 1: on your feed, you know what I mean, And it's

822
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:02,920
Speaker 1: like you're not asking for it's just popping up. And

823
00:41:03,239 --> 00:41:05,000
Speaker 1: maybe it is a little childish, maybe it is a

824
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,640
Speaker 1: little you know, caddy, but I think it's like what

825
00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:10,280
Speaker 1: people need to move on, you know. Yeah. I always

826
00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 1: thought it was a bunch of who we like. When

827
00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:16,520
Speaker 1: somebody would tell me, don't look you know, unfollowed, I

828
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:18,560
Speaker 1: didn't follow the person or whatever, but they'd say like

829
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:22,719
Speaker 1: don't look, it really does help. And I was like, no, no, no,

830
00:41:23,239 --> 00:41:26,719
Speaker 1: it doesn't fere full of it. And then finally, the

831
00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:29,359
Speaker 1: thirtieth time the same person said it to me, I

832
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:33,440
Speaker 1: finally was like, alright, fine, Oh my god, it was

833
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:38,560
Speaker 1: life changing. I think there's something so true to that statement,

834
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:41,920
Speaker 1: Like then you begin to be able to like actually

835
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:45,040
Speaker 1: figure out what was really good and bad and really

836
00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:52,200
Speaker 1: happening instead of this sort of wacky Instagram fake of whatever.

837
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,600
Speaker 1: And like for us, it was like we ended things

838
00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:58,560
Speaker 1: for a reason, but the reason wasn't because we didn't

839
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,400
Speaker 1: like each other care about each other. And so I

840
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 1: still like the as soon as he starts dating someone else,

841
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:05,759
Speaker 1: or I see it because it's I know I'll see

842
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 1: it just because of course I will. Um, it's gonna suck,

843
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,439
Speaker 1: but I don't want to have to. I don't want

844
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 1: it to just be in my face constant. But it's

845
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:20,160
Speaker 1: the same thing about thinking positive, because seeing something takes

846
00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:23,160
Speaker 1: you to the dark place of make believe, like with

847
00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:26,560
Speaker 1: Instagram and you're like, oh, look they're so happy. We

848
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:31,000
Speaker 1: don't know, we don't know what they really are, right Instagram.

849
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:38,320
Speaker 1: Instagram is tricky. It's sometimes very much make believe. Yeah.

850
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:40,279
Speaker 1: I mean the best thing I ever did after I

851
00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:43,720
Speaker 1: broke up with my ex boyfriend was like defriend him

852
00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:45,799
Speaker 1: on followed because he's private on everything, so I like

853
00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:48,480
Speaker 1: physically couldn't even look if I wanted to, you know,

854
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:51,480
Speaker 1: like sometimes I've wanted to text someone I was into that,

855
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:53,880
Speaker 1: like things ended and I still have feelings and be like,

856
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:58,360
Speaker 1: can you block me so that I can't see that's dramatic? Yeah,

857
00:42:58,719 --> 00:43:01,480
Speaker 1: don't ever let me text you again. Just end it

858
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:03,400
Speaker 1: for me. It'll hurt, it'll be a little bit of

859
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:07,200
Speaker 1: a dagger, but it's best for me. You'd be like, wow,

860
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:10,880
Speaker 1: here's more psycho than I thought. Yeah, I'm all, hey,

861
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:13,000
Speaker 1: this will be my last text because I need you

862
00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:15,440
Speaker 1: to block me. Oh yeah. I had to give the

863
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:18,000
Speaker 1: phone number. I had to get physically delete his number

864
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,040
Speaker 1: out of my phone so that I would stop texting him,

865
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:21,719
Speaker 1: And I gave it to like a girlfriend of mine,

866
00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:24,880
Speaker 1: so that I had it in case of like it's like,

867
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:27,279
Speaker 1: I had to delete it because I can't have any

868
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:30,600
Speaker 1: of you ever googled, and obviously I have how to

869
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:35,960
Speaker 1: know if you're blocked. No, no, I'm not alone, because

870
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:40,279
Speaker 1: four jillion sides come up and like I can know

871
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 1: I'm not blocked and still Google and go like, how

872
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:45,320
Speaker 1: do you know if you're not blocked? How do you know?

873
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:50,640
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, tell us fifty ways to know. No, it's

874
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 1: my darkest secret and I just revealed it to you.

875
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:59,040
Speaker 1: Is that I actually no, I've been blocked by who

876
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 1: oh leaves like we all don't know who blocked me.

877
00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:05,839
Speaker 1: He would text me that he was going to block me,

878
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:08,480
Speaker 1: and he would let me know when I was unblocked,

879
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:12,200
Speaker 1: and people wonder why I'm damaged like that, that's kind

880
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:15,640
Speaker 1: of dark. I told Tall Jeff that story, and he

881
00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:18,680
Speaker 1: was literally like, that's the most hideous thing I've ever

882
00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 1: heard of in my life, Like we blocked your number. Yeah,

883
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:23,600
Speaker 1: And he would tell me I'm blocking you until I

884
00:44:23,719 --> 00:44:27,919
Speaker 1: deem you worthy of being unblocked. When I was that's

885
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:31,360
Speaker 1: what and Tall Jeff was like, that is not acceptable,

886
00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:34,120
Speaker 1: Like that's so, and I know and now I'm free.

887
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:38,399
Speaker 1: That's called freedom. Such freedom, um so, Brittany, to answer

888
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:40,640
Speaker 1: your question, I think that if you're having a hard

889
00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:43,319
Speaker 1: time getting over someone and it's hard for you to

890
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:47,319
Speaker 1: see them or know what they're doing, it's not it's

891
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,279
Speaker 1: it's fine if you un follow them. But you know what,

892
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:57,040
Speaker 1: it'd be pretty badass if you didn't everything. I know,

893
00:44:57,239 --> 00:44:59,319
Speaker 1: but I think it's like I'm not just saying if

894
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:02,440
Speaker 1: she can ambulance, I think it's pretty badass to just

895
00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:04,440
Speaker 1: kind of be like, what she can do is just

896
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:07,360
Speaker 1: get off Instagram for a while not look. Then she

897
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,760
Speaker 1: doesn't have to until the pain is gone. Three years

898
00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:14,239
Speaker 1: of Brittany. If you need to unfollow him, un follow him.

899
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 1: This advice is weird. Sorry, but like I understand what

900
00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:22,040
Speaker 1: Tanya's saying, though she's saying like a baller chick just goes, well,

901
00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:24,160
Speaker 1: that's what I did for that girl. I'm not that girl.

902
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 1: I was, and I did that for a while. And

903
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:29,040
Speaker 1: at some point you go like, I wish if you

904
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:31,480
Speaker 1: But if you're the one who was like broken up

905
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:34,200
Speaker 1: with or like you still harbor like serious feelings for

906
00:45:34,239 --> 00:45:39,479
Speaker 1: someone same girl, you're not, It's like you can only

907
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:43,520
Speaker 1: be so like badass and not follows Brittany. I'm following.

908
00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:47,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be a badass. Like the fact that every

909
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:52,040
Speaker 1: call literally and almost the same breath says I deleted everything.

910
00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 1: I deleted his number from my phone and gave it

911
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:57,600
Speaker 1: to someone else. But it'd be pretty cool if you did.

912
00:45:57,640 --> 00:46:00,200
Speaker 1: And I'm following because it's true. I wish it's like

913
00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 1: one of those things like I know my I know

914
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 1: myself so well. I know what I can I can't handle.

915
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:06,239
Speaker 1: Then what makes you think this year you're going to

916
00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:09,360
Speaker 1: be different. I can make steps to try because like

917
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:13,279
Speaker 1: seven years like no, like like this guy that I

918
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:16,319
Speaker 1: started my cobo crush, that a crush on a cabo,

919
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:18,759
Speaker 1: I would have been like so bombed that he like

920
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:22,640
Speaker 1: didn't make a move, you know, but badass Tanya. I

921
00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:27,000
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, you probably didn't like him that much. Well,

922
00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:29,440
Speaker 1: I mean I liked him enough. I'm just saying, like

923
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:34,960
Speaker 1: I sometimes I'm so unemotional that like I sometimes I

924
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 1: wish I could feel like that I care that much.

925
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:40,200
Speaker 1: It's a really interesting question. Would I rather be you

926
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:43,360
Speaker 1: or would I rather be me? It's just a puddle

927
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:47,239
Speaker 1: of emotion, and like I like you and I care

928
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:49,799
Speaker 1: about you, and like, can you please text me back?

929
00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:51,800
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? Even though you've texted

930
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:54,479
Speaker 1: me eighteen times today, I just need one more. Yeah,

931
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:58,480
Speaker 1: Like I'm pretty content being like totally emotionless and stuff,

932
00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:00,399
Speaker 1: but there are times where I'm like well, I've nice

933
00:47:00,440 --> 00:47:03,160
Speaker 1: to feel that like giddy excitement or like that like

934
00:47:04,239 --> 00:47:08,040
Speaker 1: Google Gaga eyes over someone. I just want to say

935
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:11,239
Speaker 1: really quick, the last young lady I dated before my

936
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:13,680
Speaker 1: the ones now my wife. It was a really really

937
00:47:13,719 --> 00:47:16,719
Speaker 1: bad breakup and she gave me the greatest gift. She

938
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:19,799
Speaker 1: wiped her internet footprint completely, like she is not on

939
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:22,239
Speaker 1: the internet at all, so I could not look at her.

940
00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:24,839
Speaker 1: There's no Instagram, there's no Twitter, there's no Facebook. There

941
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:30,239
Speaker 1: is she like, yeah, Witness Protection program. I honestly like

942
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:31,960
Speaker 1: I thought about hiring a p I just to see

943
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:34,480
Speaker 1: she's still alive because I'm I'm a little concerned. That

944
00:47:35,719 --> 00:47:38,080
Speaker 1: was like very selfless of her to do that, I

945
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:40,560
Speaker 1: mean sketchy. I don't know. I don't think she did

946
00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:43,000
Speaker 1: it for Easton. No, she like she may have had

947
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:46,120
Speaker 1: some legal problems she was trying to escape, but likes

948
00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:52,040
Speaker 1: like involved in the law. Witness Protection has Like she's

949
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:54,920
Speaker 1: in witness Protection, you won't find her. Yeah, it was

950
00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:57,200
Speaker 1: it was wild, Like there be times where like I

951
00:47:57,239 --> 00:47:59,520
Speaker 1: was like I wonder whenever Veronica was up to and

952
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:01,719
Speaker 1: like I was just give her a Google and it's nothing.

953
00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 1: Nothing is completely white. Yeah, so you know get you

954
00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:12,960
Speaker 1: get your girl that can do both. You know, do

955
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:16,040
Speaker 1: you guys know what LinkedIn is? Yeah? Did you know

956
00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:19,000
Speaker 1: unlike Facebook that if you like stock, somebody on LinkedIn

957
00:48:19,239 --> 00:48:22,240
Speaker 1: tells them they know. I didn't know that. I didn't

958
00:48:22,320 --> 00:48:30,040
Speaker 1: know that. Now I know. But still that was a

959
00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:33,319
Speaker 1: tough one because like the whole premise of Lincoln is

960
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:36,400
Speaker 1: like to connect, and you know, like on Facebook, you

961
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:38,960
Speaker 1: can look at somebody and they don't know, right right right?

962
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:44,200
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, it would be so nice if everyone

963
00:48:44,239 --> 00:48:49,279
Speaker 1: could just wife their footprint. Footprint clear really help everybody,

964
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:52,520
Speaker 1: but um, yeah, I mean it doesn't help them. Then

965
00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:54,399
Speaker 1: you're still friends with their friends, and then they get

966
00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:58,280
Speaker 1: married and you're watching all the wedding photos and like, wow,

967
00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:02,839
Speaker 1: this seems like a like a something that Tanya has

968
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:07,799
Speaker 1: been through. Um one of my New Year's things that

969
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:09,959
Speaker 1: I'm going to focus on this year. I've been so

970
00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:12,799
Speaker 1: lazy about you know, like We've talked about this a

971
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:16,279
Speaker 1: lot about how much I don't like dating, and I

972
00:49:16,280 --> 00:49:18,719
Speaker 1: still don't like dating, but I think to get back

973
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:21,440
Speaker 1: into the swing of things because nobody does. I'm so

974
00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:25,719
Speaker 1: stuck in this like content state of mind of being

975
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:27,719
Speaker 1: single and to the point where I don't, I like,

976
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:30,120
Speaker 1: have no desire to go out. Like people like, well,

977
00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:32,800
Speaker 1: you can get a free meal, like I'd rather postmas.

978
00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:35,520
Speaker 1: I hate. That's like my number one thing I hate,

979
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:37,719
Speaker 1: will say dating, it's like a free meal. I like,

980
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:41,680
Speaker 1: I would rather pay ten times the amount of I'd

981
00:49:41,719 --> 00:49:46,320
Speaker 1: pay for mine and to not have to have oay

982
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:49,799
Speaker 1: keep going. UM. So this year, I'm just like, if

983
00:49:50,040 --> 00:49:52,680
Speaker 1: if I meet someone that I even have remote interest

984
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:54,840
Speaker 1: in and he's like, hey, I'd love to grab dinner,

985
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:57,239
Speaker 1: I think I'm just gonna be like, yeah, why not?

986
00:49:58,200 --> 00:50:00,480
Speaker 1: This might happened like two times, then I'm done. But

987
00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:03,600
Speaker 1: I'm like open to being more open open. I like that.

988
00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:07,719
Speaker 1: I like that a lot. Actually yep, so that's that,

989
00:50:08,280 --> 00:50:11,280
Speaker 1: um and throw that check with out the window. Also

990
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:15,000
Speaker 1: trying to figure out how do I like make myself

991
00:50:15,040 --> 00:50:17,560
Speaker 1: more emotionally available to people. But then I decided that's

992
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:19,279
Speaker 1: not something I really want to change about myself. I

993
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:21,160
Speaker 1: don't think you don't and you don't want to be

994
00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:23,840
Speaker 1: like so emotionally available, And I'm not going to change

995
00:50:23,840 --> 00:50:27,600
Speaker 1: that either. I don't have seven years you know, you

996
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:31,160
Speaker 1: can't change that. I'm trying to make small tweaks because Tanya,

997
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:33,279
Speaker 1: you're not going to change, no, And I'm very like,

998
00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:34,880
Speaker 1: I'm fine being in the way that I am. But

999
00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:37,239
Speaker 1: I definitely think that I've grown a lot in the

1000
00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:41,400
Speaker 1: last like five years in terms of um there's a

1001
00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:44,200
Speaker 1: difference between the way that I am emotionally and the

1002
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:48,120
Speaker 1: way that I deal with relationships. My relationship like past

1003
00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:51,200
Speaker 1: relationships used to like fill all of me. Does that

1004
00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:55,120
Speaker 1: make sense? And I'll never give that to any relationship

1005
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:58,120
Speaker 1: moving forwardever. Again, if you think I'm going to be

1006
00:50:58,120 --> 00:51:01,759
Speaker 1: honest like and then they show up and you're like, wow, no,

1007
00:51:01,920 --> 00:51:04,040
Speaker 1: because I think you make the I think you've made

1008
00:51:04,080 --> 00:51:07,600
Speaker 1: the decision, like I am okay without myself, and anyone

1009
00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:09,360
Speaker 1: I meet from this point is going to add to me,

1010
00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:12,440
Speaker 1: not like film me or complete me totally. I also

1011
00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:14,920
Speaker 1: feel like if you tried to be like emotional, like

1012
00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:19,400
Speaker 1: non emotional and like bad like cool and stuff, it

1013
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:22,640
Speaker 1: would be so weird. It'd be weird. I'd be like,

1014
00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:27,399
Speaker 1: who is this imposter right right? Being a part? Yeah,

1015
00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:29,439
Speaker 1: I'm going to show up like I'm totally the girl

1016
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:31,560
Speaker 1: that makes baskets for my boyfriend when he has like

1017
00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:34,080
Speaker 1: a big test or something, and I'm like here's highlight,

1018
00:51:34,120 --> 00:51:36,040
Speaker 1: new highlighters, new and next cards. Here's some of my

1019
00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:39,520
Speaker 1: favorite coffee. Here's like your favorite soup. I don't do that,

1020
00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:43,120
Speaker 1: but I'm not afraid to write a text that's nice. Yeah,

1021
00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:45,520
Speaker 1: I like gestures. I don't play hard to get. It's

1022
00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:47,439
Speaker 1: like if I got to do that, mind's not playing

1023
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:50,480
Speaker 1: minds like you're not because you're not playing hard to get.

1024
00:51:50,560 --> 00:51:54,720
Speaker 1: This is the whole thing I've learned. If you're playing

1025
00:51:54,719 --> 00:51:57,000
Speaker 1: hard to get your playing games, you just sort of

1026
00:51:57,160 --> 00:52:02,160
Speaker 1: are how you are right, You're just right, You're just Yeah.

1027
00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:04,319
Speaker 1: When I was coming back from Mexico, I like, I

1028
00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:06,400
Speaker 1: just was. I was missing you so much that I

1029
00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:08,759
Speaker 1: was like I almost texted you to be like, will

1030
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:10,840
Speaker 1: you come picking with the airport because I just wanted

1031
00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:13,160
Speaker 1: to In the in the same exact thought, I was like,

1032
00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:15,000
Speaker 1: if I ask her, she's literally just gonna send me

1033
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:18,200
Speaker 1: an over. So yeah, be like, I'll be right there

1034
00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:24,280
Speaker 1: in a white Prio. Here's the license flite number. He'll

1035
00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:26,960
Speaker 1: bring you straight to your door. Where like me, I

1036
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:30,160
Speaker 1: like would be the first one at the airport. You'd

1037
00:52:30,160 --> 00:52:32,279
Speaker 1: be like send me or flighting for me. I'll make

1038
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:33,800
Speaker 1: sure that I'm parked in at the gate. Well, is

1039
00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:36,279
Speaker 1: that not the truest sign because I'm thinking right now

1040
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:39,680
Speaker 1: of who I would pick up at the airport, and

1041
00:52:39,880 --> 00:52:43,640
Speaker 1: it's like one name, that's it. Yeah, everybody else is

1042
00:52:43,640 --> 00:52:46,920
Speaker 1: getting a town car. I think I picked up my mom,

1043
00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:48,880
Speaker 1: like my mom and dad, and I think that's all

1044
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:51,239
Speaker 1: I would know. I would't even do that. Oh my gosh,

1045
00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:55,480
Speaker 1: town car. I love one name. L A X Is

1046
00:52:55,600 --> 00:52:58,560
Speaker 1: any other airport I'd maybe consider l A actually was

1047
00:52:58,640 --> 00:53:06,520
Speaker 1: like I'm talking birth, but I'd be ready. Yeah, yeah,

1048
00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:09,319
Speaker 1: I'd be there with bells on. I wanted to read

1049
00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:11,759
Speaker 1: this email, Amy because I think this is something I

1050
00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:13,640
Speaker 1: dealt with in college and also something that I know

1051
00:53:13,680 --> 00:53:17,840
Speaker 1: you've dealt with forever pretty much. Um it's from Kelsey

1052
00:53:17,920 --> 00:53:20,800
Speaker 1: and she said, Hi, Becca, Tanya, and Amy. I recently

1053
00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:23,640
Speaker 1: started listening to the podcast, and I'm loving every episode.

1054
00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:26,359
Speaker 1: Thank you. I'm a junior in college and have never

1055
00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:29,120
Speaker 1: had any alcohol. I'm under age and have not ever

1056
00:53:29,160 --> 00:53:31,080
Speaker 1: wanted to go out of my way to drink or

1057
00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:33,000
Speaker 1: go to parties, even though all of my friends do.

1058
00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:35,640
Speaker 1: I heard Amy said that she hasn't ever drink alcohol either,

1059
00:53:35,719 --> 00:53:38,000
Speaker 1: so I'm curious about her reasons why she hasn't and

1060
00:53:38,040 --> 00:53:40,279
Speaker 1: if she's ever been in a situation where she's been

1061
00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:43,240
Speaker 1: pressured to. I'm going to be studying abroad next semester,

1062
00:53:43,760 --> 00:53:45,920
Speaker 1: and the drinking age is lower, and a lot of

1063
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:47,520
Speaker 1: my friends have told me that the only way I

1064
00:53:47,520 --> 00:53:49,840
Speaker 1: will meet people is going out to bars or clubs.

1065
00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:52,360
Speaker 1: It makes me nervous to be in a situation like

1066
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:55,480
Speaker 1: this because I don't like to see people intoxicated and

1067
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:57,640
Speaker 1: don't think I'll be able to make meaningful connections if

1068
00:53:57,719 --> 00:54:00,799
Speaker 1: everyone around me, if everyone accept me is drinking. Do

1069
00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:04,680
Speaker 1: you have any advice? Sure? Do notice her name. I

1070
00:54:04,719 --> 00:54:06,759
Speaker 1: emailed Kelsey back because I got the email, and I

1071
00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:09,640
Speaker 1: wrote her back, and here's what I say. It's really long,

1072
00:54:09,719 --> 00:54:11,919
Speaker 1: boring why I don't drink, which we could talk about

1073
00:54:11,920 --> 00:54:13,919
Speaker 1: another day. But what I told her is I've never

1074
00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:16,840
Speaker 1: been pressured ever. And I was in a sorority and

1075
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:19,920
Speaker 1: I went to cal and I've never been pressured, not

1076
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:24,200
Speaker 1: in high school, not in college, not since nothing. Number two,

1077
00:54:24,600 --> 00:54:27,080
Speaker 1: I told her to go to the bars wherever she's going.

1078
00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:29,840
Speaker 1: I don't know where she's going for her semester abroad

1079
00:54:29,920 --> 00:54:33,440
Speaker 1: or whatever. She said, Go go have fun, order water,

1080
00:54:33,680 --> 00:54:37,200
Speaker 1: order a coke, whatever you want, don't worry about it.

1081
00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:39,399
Speaker 1: Remember a few weeks ago when we talked about, like,

1082
00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:43,120
Speaker 1: I've slept with five people in blue eyes. That's how

1083
00:54:43,160 --> 00:54:45,920
Speaker 1: I've always been about. I don't drink. It's never been

1084
00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:49,200
Speaker 1: a thing. And it's literally never been a thing. Because

1085
00:54:49,239 --> 00:54:52,600
Speaker 1: it's never been a thing. I will say I didn't

1086
00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:55,120
Speaker 1: drink until I don't think I had my first drink

1087
00:54:55,200 --> 00:55:00,279
Speaker 1: until I was twenty three and I in college. I

1088
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:01,960
Speaker 1: went to school for a year and it was a

1089
00:55:02,040 --> 00:55:04,560
Speaker 1: very small college town and it felt like all anyone

1090
00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:07,080
Speaker 1: did was drink and go to the bar. And I

1091
00:55:07,120 --> 00:55:09,399
Speaker 1: hate I mean, I still don't really like going out.

1092
00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:12,840
Speaker 1: But um, being like the only sober one, I totally

1093
00:55:12,840 --> 00:55:14,919
Speaker 1: feel you because in my head, I'm like, oh, I'd

1094
00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:17,800
Speaker 1: rather be at home with my friends, like watching TV

1095
00:55:17,960 --> 00:55:20,960
Speaker 1: or something. But I knew that I was a minority

1096
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:23,480
Speaker 1: in the sense that I didn't like not only did

1097
00:55:23,560 --> 00:55:26,200
Speaker 1: I not drink, but I didn't like being out in

1098
00:55:26,239 --> 00:55:31,040
Speaker 1: the social scene. Um, but that is where everyone like

1099
00:55:31,080 --> 00:55:33,560
Speaker 1: that is the way to meet people as far as like,

1100
00:55:33,600 --> 00:55:36,520
Speaker 1: if you're out and about and there is it comes

1101
00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:39,920
Speaker 1: with a certain confidence about being confident in the decision

1102
00:55:39,960 --> 00:55:42,400
Speaker 1: of not wanting to drink that if you want to

1103
00:55:42,440 --> 00:55:44,560
Speaker 1: be in control, it's very easy for someone off of

1104
00:55:44,560 --> 00:55:47,680
Speaker 1: your drink and say I'm good and not make anything

1105
00:55:47,719 --> 00:55:50,719
Speaker 1: other than I prefer coke or I prefer water and

1106
00:55:50,760 --> 00:55:53,880
Speaker 1: not make it seem like because I always approached it

1107
00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:56,560
Speaker 1: more from a judgmental standpoint when people would ask me,

1108
00:55:56,560 --> 00:55:58,560
Speaker 1: it was more like, no, I don't drink, and kind

1109
00:55:58,560 --> 00:56:01,800
Speaker 1: of made it like probably made them feel bad about themselves.

1110
00:56:01,840 --> 00:56:05,319
Speaker 1: And I highly don't recommend that. Right, I agree, And

1111
00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:07,360
Speaker 1: I'm around people to drink all the time and I'm

1112
00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:10,479
Speaker 1: happy you drink. Drink up right totally. It's like I'm

1113
00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:13,239
Speaker 1: fine with that. I've never dealt with the drinking. But

1114
00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:16,120
Speaker 1: I mean, can I say drugs. I've never done drugs.

1115
00:56:17,640 --> 00:56:20,200
Speaker 1: And I feel like I was around that in college

1116
00:56:20,239 --> 00:56:22,799
Speaker 1: a lot, you know, and I was never like it

1117
00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:24,960
Speaker 1: was a decision that I made just because I just

1118
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:26,879
Speaker 1: didn't want to do it. And I was never as

1119
00:56:26,920 --> 00:56:29,000
Speaker 1: the same way like that was offered tons of it,

1120
00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:31,680
Speaker 1: and I was always like, I'm good, yeah, And it

1121
00:56:31,719 --> 00:56:34,319
Speaker 1: was never a thing. It doesn't but it and it

1122
00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:36,720
Speaker 1: also doesn't make you better than them for not drinking,

1123
00:56:36,760 --> 00:56:39,600
Speaker 1: Like totally. Not drinking doesn't make you like a better person.

1124
00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:42,200
Speaker 1: It just means you're probably more control and don't feel

1125
00:56:42,280 --> 00:56:45,040
Speaker 1: terrible the next day. But as far as like, you know,

1126
00:56:45,480 --> 00:56:47,520
Speaker 1: it's all about the decision you make you So what

1127
00:56:47,520 --> 00:56:50,880
Speaker 1: we're gonna say. I've never drank either, and uh, I

1128
00:56:50,920 --> 00:56:52,680
Speaker 1: want to give her a drink tip for going out

1129
00:56:52,680 --> 00:56:54,359
Speaker 1: to a bar and not making it a thing. There's

1130
00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:56,879
Speaker 1: a drink called the Sinko. It was made popular by

1131
00:56:56,920 --> 00:57:00,399
Speaker 1: Chato Sinko, who's on the Cincinnati Bengals. It's cranberry, red

1132
00:57:00,440 --> 00:57:01,719
Speaker 1: bull and a little bit of lime, and it just

1133
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:03,759
Speaker 1: looks like a regular drink and it sounds like a

1134
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:11,000
Speaker 1: drink I would like. Yeah, gives me grief there, I mean,

1135
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:13,120
Speaker 1: even like a nice little soda water with a lime

1136
00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:17,880
Speaker 1: classic um. But I do want to say that's the

1137
00:57:18,040 --> 00:57:21,240
Speaker 1: like all all goes back to just being confident in

1138
00:57:21,240 --> 00:57:23,320
Speaker 1: the decisions you make, in what you like and what

1139
00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:25,080
Speaker 1: you don't like, and being okay with it and not

1140
00:57:25,120 --> 00:57:29,160
Speaker 1: saying it like I don't dream like I sorry, I'll

1141
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:32,600
Speaker 1: pray for you while you're on the bathroom floor to

1142
00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:35,720
Speaker 1: I flash flash forward a few years later. Who's on

1143
00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:39,560
Speaker 1: the bathroom floor who's praying for me? Okay, So we

1144
00:57:39,600 --> 00:57:41,720
Speaker 1: have a new sponsor on the podcast, and I'm very

1145
00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:44,440
Speaker 1: excited about this one. It's Bowl and Branch and it

1146
00:57:44,600 --> 00:57:48,240
Speaker 1: is sheets for your bed, and you had me at

1147
00:57:48,280 --> 00:57:52,880
Speaker 1: sheets and bed Nothing. Nothing makes me happier than getting

1148
00:57:52,920 --> 00:57:58,600
Speaker 1: into my cozy bed with cozy, clean sheets. Honestly, I

1149
00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:00,960
Speaker 1: love it, and you love it. I love it. I

1150
00:58:01,040 --> 00:58:03,280
Speaker 1: love a good night's sleep. Um yeah, And I feel

1151
00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:06,040
Speaker 1: like during you know, the new one of the resolutions

1152
00:58:06,040 --> 00:58:08,320
Speaker 1: everyone should have is getting more sleep. We spend a

1153
00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:11,760
Speaker 1: lot of time on everything else, and we sometimes neglect

1154
00:58:11,840 --> 00:58:15,600
Speaker 1: ourselves by not getting enough sleep. And all you really

1155
00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:18,040
Speaker 1: need for the best night of sleep, in my opinion,

1156
00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:20,919
Speaker 1: are good sheets. It's so true though, She's make such

1157
00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:24,560
Speaker 1: a difference. I think you realize. I know. I just

1158
00:58:24,640 --> 00:58:26,960
Speaker 1: recently slept in a really weird place a couple of

1159
00:58:26,960 --> 00:58:29,680
Speaker 1: months ago, and I had the worst night's sleep because

1160
00:58:29,680 --> 00:58:32,520
Speaker 1: the sheets were so like like when you go to

1161
00:58:32,560 --> 00:58:36,280
Speaker 1: a hotel and they're like stick and like scratchy, and

1162
00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:37,920
Speaker 1: I just couldn't wait to get home to get in

1163
00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:42,320
Speaker 1: my nice Well. Everything Bowl and Branch makes from betting

1164
00:58:42,360 --> 00:58:46,960
Speaker 1: to blankets is made from pure organic cotton which means

1165
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:49,280
Speaker 1: they start out super soft and then they get softer

1166
00:58:49,480 --> 00:58:51,480
Speaker 1: over time. So it's not like they start out stiff

1167
00:58:51,520 --> 00:58:53,200
Speaker 1: and you have to watch them a few times. They

1168
00:58:53,240 --> 00:58:56,200
Speaker 1: start out soft. It just just get it just gets

1169
00:58:56,240 --> 00:58:59,240
Speaker 1: better with time. Um. So you buy directly from them,

1170
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:02,480
Speaker 1: so you're essentially paying wholesale prices. So um, sheets can

1171
00:59:02,520 --> 00:59:05,800
Speaker 1: be in the thousands of dollars range. And I've I

1172
00:59:05,880 --> 00:59:08,320
Speaker 1: was recently looking at some and I was I called

1173
00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:10,560
Speaker 1: my mom and I'm like, is this normal pricing for

1174
00:59:10,680 --> 00:59:13,880
Speaker 1: good sheets? It's hard to justify spending that much on

1175
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:17,920
Speaker 1: sheets because you're like, seriously, yeah, um, but Bowling Branch

1176
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:20,680
Speaker 1: sheets are only a couple of hundred dollars. Everyone who

1177
00:59:20,720 --> 00:59:23,120
Speaker 1: tries Bowling Branch sheets loves him. That's why they've had

1178
00:59:23,200 --> 00:59:26,720
Speaker 1: thousands of five star reviews. Forbes, the Wall Street Journal,

1179
00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:29,920
Speaker 1: and Fast Company are all talking about Bowling Branch. I

1180
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:32,400
Speaker 1: love this company. By the way, this is really good.

1181
00:59:32,720 --> 00:59:36,640
Speaker 1: Three US presidents sleep on Bowling Branch sheets. Wow, but

1182
00:59:36,680 --> 00:59:41,000
Speaker 1: we don't know who. I'm so curious. I feel like

1183
00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:44,040
Speaker 1: Barack Obama is going to be one. He seems like

1184
00:59:44,080 --> 00:59:47,520
Speaker 1: he'd like a good pair of sheets. Oh, shipping is free. Um.

1185
00:59:47,560 --> 00:59:49,480
Speaker 1: So yeah, shipping is free. You can try them for

1186
00:59:49,560 --> 00:59:51,800
Speaker 1: thirty nights, and if you don't love them, send them

1187
00:59:51,800 --> 00:59:55,840
Speaker 1: back for a refund. Tanya, that's my favorite thing, loves

1188
00:59:55,880 --> 00:59:59,160
Speaker 1: a good money back guarantee because it's just like when

1189
00:59:59,160 --> 01:00:02,280
Speaker 1: you do that, you're telling your customers that you're gonna

1190
01:00:02,360 --> 01:00:04,720
Speaker 1: like this product, so we're not worried about you sending

1191
01:00:04,720 --> 01:00:07,040
Speaker 1: it back totally. There's no risk and no reason not

1192
01:00:07,120 --> 01:00:10,360
Speaker 1: to give them a try to get started right now. Wait,

1193
01:00:10,400 --> 01:00:12,120
Speaker 1: did you find who I did? I did? That was

1194
01:00:12,280 --> 01:00:15,920
Speaker 1: President George H. W. Bush, President Bill Clinton and President

1195
01:00:15,920 --> 01:00:25,040
Speaker 1: George W. Busch. I love come back what I know?

1196
01:00:26,080 --> 01:00:31,520
Speaker 1: They're so cute. Maybe we'll send should we send him

1197
01:00:31,600 --> 01:00:34,800
Speaker 1: some We'll give him a discount code. Yeah, and we'll

1198
01:00:34,840 --> 01:00:37,000
Speaker 1: tell him he can use him for thirty nights and

1199
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:38,320
Speaker 1: then if you don't like him, to send them back.

1200
01:00:38,840 --> 01:00:41,280
Speaker 1: Um to get started right now, my listeners will get

1201
01:00:41,280 --> 01:00:43,720
Speaker 1: fifty dollars off your first set of sheets at Bowling

1202
01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:47,960
Speaker 1: branch dot com promo code Becca. Go to Bowling branch

1203
01:00:48,080 --> 01:00:50,560
Speaker 1: dot com today for fifty dollars off your first set

1204
01:00:50,560 --> 01:00:54,840
Speaker 1: of sheets. That's b O L L and Branch dot

1205
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:59,720
Speaker 1: com promo code Becca. Once again Bowling Branch dot Com

1206
01:00:59,760 --> 01:01:04,680
Speaker 1: pro Omo code. Um. It feels so good to be back,

1207
01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:07,280
Speaker 1: so good, and you know what's coming back soon too.

1208
01:01:09,200 --> 01:01:13,880
Speaker 1: I've been watching so many old episodes too. Yeah, it's

1209
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:17,200
Speaker 1: just so the old episodes are so good. They really are.

1210
01:01:17,480 --> 01:01:19,520
Speaker 1: Well and wait, we have to explain that on Monday

1211
01:01:19,520 --> 01:01:22,400
Speaker 1: we're gonna have another new episode and is it your

1212
01:01:22,440 --> 01:01:27,600
Speaker 1: intention coach? She's in my accountability coach accountable Okay, I

1213
01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:30,760
Speaker 1: am so okay, So we have the podcast today is

1214
01:01:30,800 --> 01:01:33,840
Speaker 1: a rare Thursday podcast. I just couldn't wait to get

1215
01:01:33,880 --> 01:01:36,680
Speaker 1: back to y'all, but I had to the podcast with

1216
01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:39,240
Speaker 1: that Becca would hang out with me. Yeah, we literally

1217
01:01:39,240 --> 01:01:41,080
Speaker 1: set this up so Tanny and I could have some

1218
01:01:41,160 --> 01:01:45,880
Speaker 1: cute um. Anyways, Monday we are back with a new

1219
01:01:45,960 --> 01:01:50,000
Speaker 1: episode again and Tanya's accountability coach, who we've talked about

1220
01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:52,160
Speaker 1: a few times, Teddy Mellencamp, is going to be on

1221
01:01:52,280 --> 01:01:56,480
Speaker 1: here and she is probably gonna have some words for me.

1222
01:01:57,760 --> 01:02:00,280
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like, subconsciously in this was

1223
01:02:00,320 --> 01:02:02,280
Speaker 1: going to happen, which is why I started eating healthier.

1224
01:02:03,160 --> 01:02:05,200
Speaker 1: I'm scared of her a little bit. Can she help

1225
01:02:05,240 --> 01:02:08,960
Speaker 1: with my positive thinking thing? That's not what she does,

1226
01:02:09,040 --> 01:02:10,680
Speaker 1: that's not what she does. But I do have to

1227
01:02:10,720 --> 01:02:13,880
Speaker 1: say she's very like straight shooter. She's to the point,

1228
01:02:13,960 --> 01:02:15,960
Speaker 1: like I try, and I was like trying. If you

1229
01:02:16,000 --> 01:02:18,480
Speaker 1: ever trying to make an excuse with her, she's got

1230
01:02:18,800 --> 01:02:21,640
Speaker 1: she's just got something to say about it. On The

1231
01:02:21,640 --> 01:02:23,920
Speaker 1: Housewives of Beverly Hills. Yeah, and people really love her,

1232
01:02:23,960 --> 01:02:25,520
Speaker 1: like I've been tagging her and some of my like

1233
01:02:25,760 --> 01:02:28,200
Speaker 1: Instagram videos and stuff and then responded, but she's my

1234
01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:30,240
Speaker 1: favorite housewife. You do work with her, And I'm like, yes,

1235
01:02:30,560 --> 01:02:35,880
Speaker 1: she married, she married, she's married, she has kids, and

1236
01:02:35,960 --> 01:02:38,320
Speaker 1: she has her own business, like she is a housewife

1237
01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:41,800
Speaker 1: of Beverly Hill. Her dad is the guy things Little Diddy,

1238
01:02:42,080 --> 01:02:46,240
Speaker 1: abelt Jack and died Melancoe, which I think he dropped

1239
01:02:46,240 --> 01:02:49,320
Speaker 1: the Cougar is he John Melancolbe. First he was John Cougar,

1240
01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:51,560
Speaker 1: then he was John Cougar, Mellencamp, don't call me Cougar,

1241
01:02:51,640 --> 01:02:54,520
Speaker 1: melancomp like he's He's had a few name changes because

1242
01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:56,360
Speaker 1: I'm old. But she's just like the reason why I

1243
01:02:56,400 --> 01:02:58,640
Speaker 1: really like her lies because she kind of she does

1244
01:02:58,840 --> 01:03:01,919
Speaker 1: do it all, you know, only badass kick ask job,

1245
01:03:02,920 --> 01:03:05,240
Speaker 1: like just I don't know she just cool and I've

1246
01:03:05,240 --> 01:03:11,040
Speaker 1: actually never met her in person. Yeah I did text her. Wait,

1247
01:03:11,080 --> 01:03:15,400
Speaker 1: this is so fun the firs time. First time. I'm like,

1248
01:03:15,480 --> 01:03:18,439
Speaker 1: eating kale and water and exercise the best thing. So

1249
01:03:18,480 --> 01:03:21,680
Speaker 1: she'll Becca posts something because she does because my best friend.

1250
01:03:21,720 --> 01:03:24,560
Speaker 1: So she like stalks and she follows me to keep

1251
01:03:24,600 --> 01:03:27,080
Speaker 1: tabs on Tony. So Becca posted something about we were

1252
01:03:27,080 --> 01:03:29,680
Speaker 1: at McDonald's or I can't remember what it was. It was.

1253
01:03:30,440 --> 01:03:32,400
Speaker 1: It was well, it was after the A M A's

1254
01:03:32,400 --> 01:03:35,200
Speaker 1: and I was like, let's get in and out better. Yeah,

1255
01:03:35,280 --> 01:03:38,120
Speaker 1: she texts me, she's like, you better not be eating who.

1256
01:03:40,640 --> 01:03:42,439
Speaker 1: I don't know, but she ruined my in and out

1257
01:03:42,560 --> 01:03:45,200
Speaker 1: because tany it got like all nervous. So like I

1258
01:03:45,240 --> 01:03:47,920
Speaker 1: didn't get in and out that night either I wouldn't

1259
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:50,240
Speaker 1: have gone either way. She'll pop you a text like

1260
01:03:50,480 --> 01:03:53,600
Speaker 1: and you kind of look like where is she? God,

1261
01:03:53,680 --> 01:03:56,480
Speaker 1: it's always through mine, Like it's like because I'm always

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01:03:56,520 --> 01:03:59,320
Speaker 1: talking about it and she's with me. She's scared, but

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01:03:59,360 --> 01:04:01,520
Speaker 1: she's like she's really changed a lot of people's lives.

1264
01:04:01,520 --> 01:04:05,480
Speaker 1: Like it's really crazy that the testimonials are like, I know,

1265
01:04:05,520 --> 01:04:08,120
Speaker 1: I'm excited. I'm actually very interested in talking to her.

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01:04:09,360 --> 01:04:11,520
Speaker 1: All right, well we are going to wrap it up.

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01:04:11,600 --> 01:04:14,480
Speaker 1: I want you all to continue emailing us. We love

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01:04:14,520 --> 01:04:17,000
Speaker 1: your emails. We try our best to help and give

1269
01:04:17,040 --> 01:04:19,600
Speaker 1: good advice. You don't need your boyfriend's pass code or

1270
01:04:19,640 --> 01:04:25,560
Speaker 1: his phone stop, yes you do. You might actually um

1271
01:04:25,680 --> 01:04:28,920
Speaker 1: our email is scrubbing in at iHeart media dot com.

1272
01:04:29,200 --> 01:04:34,720
Speaker 1: And please send us your best and your worst problems.

1273
01:04:34,920 --> 01:04:38,240
Speaker 1: Please yeah we want to hear them. Um. Happy New

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01:04:38,320 --> 01:04:42,120
Speaker 1: year everyone. Go make your vision board right down your intentions.

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01:04:42,120 --> 01:04:44,640
Speaker 1: If you don't want to cut things out, get the app.

1276
01:04:45,400 --> 01:04:49,000
Speaker 1: You know. I bring my vision board on Monday. Yeah cool? Um? Okay,

1277
01:04:49,040 --> 01:04:51,720
Speaker 1: So you want to call time of Death? I love

1278
01:04:51,800 --> 01:05:01,520
Speaker 1: to okay first one of the year, Time of DEATHM

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01:05:01,520 --> 01:05:01,880
Speaker 1: four