WEBVTT - #25 More or Les with Dean 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.320 Help I Suck At Dating with Dean Angler and I 0:00:04.400 --> 0:00:08.240 Heart Radio Podcast. Hello, Hello, thank you so much for 0:00:08.320 --> 0:00:10.799 coming back for another episode of Help I Suck At Dating. 0:00:11.560 --> 0:00:14.360 This is your host, Dean Anglert. I'm joined in studio 0:00:14.600 --> 0:00:18.360 by the Three Musketeers Easton, Mark and Erica and one 0:00:18.400 --> 0:00:22.680 other lovely special guest today, Leslie and Murphy my wonderful girl. Hello, 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:27.040 Hello everybody. I convinced her to come back two round 0:00:27.360 --> 0:00:30.600 two of X because we're not sure how often she's 0:00:30.600 --> 0:00:32.640 gonna be here, but whenever she's in town, she's probably 0:00:32.640 --> 0:00:34.800 gonna be here, and we're probably gonna be talking about 0:00:34.840 --> 0:00:40.400 a bunch of funs. Technically round show. Before we were 0:00:40.440 --> 0:00:42.000 talking about you when you left the room doing you 0:00:42.000 --> 0:00:43.599 went to the bathroom would you were talking about how 0:00:43.600 --> 0:00:45.720 you're really good at this podcasting, but you don't believe 0:00:45.760 --> 0:00:49.479 that you're good at this podcast thing. Believe believe. I 0:00:49.520 --> 0:00:51.960 don't really think I'm good at anything. Oh my god. 0:00:52.040 --> 0:00:54.120 Then this is what I have to deal with on 0:00:54.160 --> 0:00:57.240 a daily basis. So what are you good at? I 0:00:57.240 --> 0:00:59.520 don't think I'm going at so many things. We were 0:00:59.600 --> 0:01:02.160 at breakfast with your dad yesterday and he was like, 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:04.520 what are you going on and You're like, oh, I 0:01:04.560 --> 0:01:06.600 guess not much. And I was like, no, you have 0:01:06.640 --> 0:01:09.320 a clothing line, you have a podcast. Let me answer 0:01:09.440 --> 0:01:11.920 for you. That's a lot of stuff. Well, those are 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:13.959 two things. I feel like I could be doing a 0:01:13.959 --> 0:01:16.360 clothing line. Like Seacraft has a clothing line. That's a 0:01:16.360 --> 0:01:19.319 big deal. Ryan Seacrest distinction, that's it. Shout out, shout out. 0:01:19.319 --> 0:01:22.720 He gave me a suit jack mental law that for 0:01:22.800 --> 0:01:25.280 reasons I should not know that. Well, I mean you 0:01:25.319 --> 0:01:29.200 work with Amy, who works with Yeah, sure we'll go 0:01:29.240 --> 0:01:31.200 with that. So what are we talking about this week? 0:01:31.520 --> 0:01:33.679 Erica has a dilemma. But I think you might be able, 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:35.280 the two of you might be able to both of you. 0:01:35.680 --> 0:01:38.479 And this is serious. She really feels there's something here 0:01:38.520 --> 0:01:40.040 that you'd like to pursue. She's not sure how to 0:01:40.080 --> 0:01:43.720 go about it. Erica, UM, so I have a very 0:01:43.760 --> 0:01:46.640 attractive I keep calling him my dentist, but he's actually 0:01:46.640 --> 0:01:51.800 like a uh, what's the word oral surgeon Chris Stranburg. No, 0:01:51.920 --> 0:01:56.520 oh is that the cupcake? Yeah? No, um, not my type. Um. 0:01:56.600 --> 0:01:58.760 And I went to him probably like a year and 0:01:58.760 --> 0:02:00.080 a half ago. I had to get a root and 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:02.880 all of all things to have to go worst. Yeah, 0:02:02.960 --> 0:02:04.680 and I got a bad one and then this guy 0:02:04.680 --> 0:02:07.040 had to fix it. And like there's nothing worse than 0:02:07.160 --> 0:02:08.760 laying there in the dentist chair and he was like 0:02:09.000 --> 0:02:10.960 his hands in your mouth and you're like, oh my god, 0:02:11.040 --> 0:02:13.880 this man is so beautiful. Um. And I've had to 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:16.280 go back twice, and every time I go back, like 0:02:16.360 --> 0:02:19.520 there's definite flirtation between us. But I used to think 0:02:19.520 --> 0:02:23.280 he was like forty years old. Turns out Facebook stim 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:27.200 he's only thirty two and I'm almost so that's a 0:02:27.360 --> 0:02:38.440 fillable gap. Yeah, I definitely thought that was um. But 0:02:38.520 --> 0:02:40.560 I don't know what to do because technically my last 0:02:40.560 --> 0:02:44.120 appointment last week was like the last time. If we 0:02:44.160 --> 0:02:46.120 need to get you another root canal facts, I need 0:02:46.120 --> 0:02:48.280 to break it to start eating a bunch of sugar. 0:02:49.000 --> 0:02:51.720 That's what someone else told me to do. But you 0:02:51.800 --> 0:02:54.840 said there was legit sexual tension between the two of you. 0:02:57.240 --> 0:02:59.680 I mean it was thick and you could cut it 0:02:59.720 --> 0:03:01.720 with an life. I don't know what else to say. 0:03:01.840 --> 0:03:04.440 It's like he always like walks me out of the 0:03:04.520 --> 0:03:06.320 room and I feel like and then like waits at 0:03:06.360 --> 0:03:08.280 the desk while I make my next appointment. And I'm like, 0:03:08.320 --> 0:03:10.959 why are you standing here with me? He's lingering yet 0:03:11.040 --> 0:03:14.399 lingering for sure he's single? You we are sure he's 0:03:14.400 --> 0:03:18.480 not married. Okay, so you're Gray's Anatomy fan? Right? Was 0:03:18.480 --> 0:03:21.440 the Gray's Anatomy. I've only seen two GRADESA episodes in 0:03:21.440 --> 0:03:23.640 my entire life. One of them there was his fire 0:03:23.680 --> 0:03:25.960 at a coffee shop. And I don't mean to deflate 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:28.360 your bubble. There was a fire at a coffee shop 0:03:28.360 --> 0:03:29.720 and like every there was like three people that got 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:31.760 rushed to the hospital. One of them was the barristo. 0:03:31.880 --> 0:03:33.360 One of them was a general, like a guy that 0:03:33.400 --> 0:03:35.280 goes every single day. And the guy goes, I just 0:03:35.320 --> 0:03:37.480 want to make sure, like Michelle's okay, Like she always 0:03:37.520 --> 0:03:40.480 puts foam heart foam hearts to my latte, and like 0:03:40.520 --> 0:03:42.520 she clearly has like a crush on me, and very 0:03:42.520 --> 0:03:44.400 there's very visible chemistry. And then that cuts over to 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:46.160 her and they're like, yeah, there, your boyfriend wants to 0:03:46.160 --> 0:03:47.720 know if you're okay, and she's like, who's my boyfriend? 0:03:47.960 --> 0:03:49.520 And she's like, I've never met this guy in my 0:03:49.640 --> 0:03:53.160 entire life. So maybe this doctor is just doing his diligence. 0:03:55.680 --> 0:03:57.720 Maybe he's just doing his due diligence to like walk 0:03:57.760 --> 0:04:01.840 you out and like be charismatic. I don't know. I mean, 0:04:01.840 --> 0:04:03.800 I don't obviously don't know firsthand. I just wanted to 0:04:03.840 --> 0:04:07.440 like bring right down the earth first. But then, but 0:04:07.480 --> 0:04:09.040 now let's talk about it, because I think that you 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:10.600 should definitely go for it, and I think that you 0:04:10.640 --> 0:04:17.160 should call him now in that photo, oh no, he 0:04:17.360 --> 0:04:20.560 is very charming, like you know, like in Scrubs with 0:04:20.600 --> 0:04:24.400 his hands. Yeah. Did you have to have Nitris when 0:04:24.400 --> 0:04:27.479 you got your root? Now? Is that like laughing gas? 0:04:27.560 --> 0:04:31.120 Like happy gas? But I was all numbed up and 0:04:31.120 --> 0:04:33.000 then I had to take advil and I like turned 0:04:33.040 --> 0:04:35.479 around because I wasn't gonna dribble down myself in front 0:04:35.480 --> 0:04:37.679 of him, and he's like uh uh, and he made 0:04:37.720 --> 0:04:39.560 me like do it in front. We're like cracking up. 0:04:39.600 --> 0:04:41.719 I'm just saying, okay, Well, when I got my wisdom 0:04:41.760 --> 0:04:44.680 teeth out years ago, I was like high on Nitris 0:04:44.760 --> 0:04:48.400 and my doctor was so so cute and so out 0:04:48.520 --> 0:04:50.680 came you know, my emotions, and I was like can 0:04:50.720 --> 0:04:53.520 we go on a date? And he was much older 0:04:53.560 --> 0:04:55.800 than me. It just didn't work out. But I feel 0:04:55.960 --> 0:04:57.640 in response to the question, did he say yes, he 0:04:57.760 --> 0:04:59.640 was kind of just laughed it off. I think I 0:04:59.680 --> 0:05:03.000 was was young at the time. They also know you're like, hi, exactly, 0:05:03.080 --> 0:05:04.839 You're just gonna say anything that comes to your mind. 0:05:05.040 --> 0:05:07.640 But I feel like this could be well I do 0:05:07.800 --> 0:05:10.320 need my wisdom teeth though, perfect So like, do I 0:05:10.400 --> 0:05:12.520 go to this guy and like, does he follow you 0:05:12.520 --> 0:05:15.200 on Instagram? Do you follow him on Instagram? I couldn't 0:05:15.200 --> 0:05:18.880 find him. Yeah, post The first trap was that you're 0:05:18.880 --> 0:05:20.960 going to post anything. But if you guys follow each other, 0:05:21.000 --> 0:05:24.719 then that would be a definite What why would my 0:05:24.880 --> 0:05:27.680 dental surgeon or my oral surgeon follow me on Instagram? 0:05:28.320 --> 0:05:30.280 Because you're talking about the sexual chemistry that you can 0:05:30.279 --> 0:05:32.839 cut with a knife. Yes, if you have that type 0:05:32.839 --> 0:05:36.120 of chemistry with someone, you followed him on Instagram. Okay, 0:05:36.279 --> 0:05:38.200 well I couldn't find him. I don't think he has 0:05:38.240 --> 0:05:41.599 an Instagram. Maybe he doesn't. The answer is not getting 0:05:41.600 --> 0:05:45.560 you wisdom teeth because that continues the professional relationship. We 0:05:45.600 --> 0:05:48.360 do something to destroy the professional relationship and bring it 0:05:48.400 --> 0:05:50.839 to a personal relationship because if you continue to be 0:05:50.839 --> 0:05:52.440 as patient, he will not go out with you. Right, 0:05:52.520 --> 0:05:55.000 that's the problem. Do you have to end that and 0:05:55.080 --> 0:05:57.920 figure it out. So how does she? Could she reach 0:05:57.960 --> 0:05:59.640 out to him? Could she leave him a note? Could 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:04.839 shed down on social media? Because he does have a Facebook. Okay, 0:06:05.080 --> 0:06:09.200 do you have a Facebook? Yeah? Like, who doesn't have 0:06:09.200 --> 0:06:14.000 a Facebook? Okay, Eastern is raising doesn't have a Facebook. 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:15.680 I have a faceback. Here's what you do. You're going 0:06:15.720 --> 0:06:18.719 to get a big bag of lollipops. You're gonna walk 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:21.719 it over to his practice, and you're gonna be like, listen, buddy, 0:06:21.880 --> 0:06:23.640 I'm sure you've got a bunch of lollipops to give 0:06:23.640 --> 0:06:25.599 out because you're dentists, and that's what dentists do to 0:06:25.640 --> 0:06:31.479 the patients after they're done servicing. Yeah, the points. And 0:06:31.480 --> 0:06:33.600 then I'm here, I got a question for you, Buster. 0:06:33.640 --> 0:06:35.120 I'm going to ask you out on a date. Let's 0:06:35.120 --> 0:06:37.520 go get a coffee right now. I don't know, these 0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:40.600 are all like what you just said, everything was an 0:06:40.600 --> 0:06:43.040 off life. And make sure you call him Buster, calling 0:06:43.120 --> 0:06:47.480 him Buster bringing a dentist lollipops answering, Let's get coffee 0:06:47.560 --> 0:06:50.120 right now. I'm sure you're not busy. Don't you have 0:06:50.120 --> 0:06:52.200 better advice? I don't know. I think um, in an 0:06:52.200 --> 0:06:55.880 effort to break down gender norms, you should make the 0:06:55.880 --> 0:06:58.520 first move. And I don't know if that's reaching out 0:06:58.560 --> 0:07:02.360 on Facebook. I guess it's probably on Facebook, because how 0:07:02.400 --> 0:07:04.320 else are you? I mean, I don't know. Can you 0:07:04.520 --> 0:07:06.839 could call the office, you could send him something to 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:11.720 the office. I can speak from experience sort of. Okay, 0:07:11.840 --> 0:07:15.440 your first of all an oral surgeon, so comes in. 0:07:15.840 --> 0:07:18.160 I was a bellman at a hotel in college for 0:07:18.200 --> 0:07:19.880 five years. I went to college for five years before 0:07:19.880 --> 0:07:22.000 and a half years. Actually, mind you, um, don't hold 0:07:22.000 --> 0:07:25.120 that against me. There was one time I've only one 0:07:25.160 --> 0:07:27.560 on one date with ever was she's like a guest 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:29.160 of the hotel or something, but her family was there 0:07:29.200 --> 0:07:31.720 for a wedding party, and she ended up asking me 0:07:31.800 --> 0:07:34.880 to the wedding party as her date. Breaking down the 0:07:35.560 --> 0:07:40.760 dentist uh patient barriers in this case the bellman guest barriers. 0:07:41.000 --> 0:07:42.720 But it's a very doable thing. You just need to 0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:44.720 be very outright and honest about the way that you 0:07:44.760 --> 0:07:47.280 feel and your intentions. Yeah. The only problem is, like 0:07:47.280 --> 0:07:50.040 when you're a patient of someone, there's like legal issue. 0:07:50.040 --> 0:07:53.240 I think they're legally there's a million dentists. He's an 0:07:53.280 --> 0:07:57.040 oral surgeon, you don't he did ask me the last 0:07:57.080 --> 0:07:59.160 time I was leaving, He's like, well, like, are you 0:07:59.200 --> 0:08:01.440 getting any more worked on? And then I told him 0:08:01.440 --> 0:08:03.120 about the time that I bit on a rock and 0:08:03.160 --> 0:08:05.040 I broke my tooth and he's told me not to 0:08:05.040 --> 0:08:07.440 eat rocks. It's been like, it's been a lot. I've 0:08:07.440 --> 0:08:09.520 been thinking about this a lot. I'm gonna go ahead 0:08:09.520 --> 0:08:10.880 and just put it out there. That sounds like a 0:08:11.000 --> 0:08:13.440 very standard question the world surgeon should ask a patient 0:08:13.480 --> 0:08:18.240 after he's done working on that. True, it was. I 0:08:18.320 --> 0:08:19.760 just don't want you to read too much into this. 0:08:21.560 --> 0:08:23.360 What about you? And I want to make sure that 0:08:23.400 --> 0:08:28.640 you're not setting yourself up to be disappointed days Something 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:33.599 subtle like um as requesting to be his friend on Facebook, 0:08:33.760 --> 0:08:36.800 like so formal. No, I think that's the start. It's 0:08:36.800 --> 0:08:39.120 a good first step. I think so too. I think 0:08:39.120 --> 0:08:42.319 it's non confrontational. It's you're dropping the handkerchief as we've 0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:44.600 as we've referred to before. We'll see if he picks 0:08:44.600 --> 0:08:46.720 it up right. The digital I don't think that's cringe 0:08:46.800 --> 0:08:51.160 worthy at all. M he doesn't have an I feel 0:08:51.160 --> 0:08:53.079 like Instagram might be better, but he doesn't seem to 0:08:53.080 --> 0:08:57.040 have is like ideal, but I can't find him or Twitter. 0:08:57.520 --> 0:08:59.760 I haven't searched him on Twitter. Following on Twitter he 0:08:59.760 --> 0:09:03.840 would even notice, yeah, like on Twitter, and I'm like, yeah, 0:09:03.880 --> 0:09:05.680 I don't think I don't think you should follow the Twitter. 0:09:05.840 --> 0:09:09.720 I think the Facebook friend request him. Um, okay, start 0:09:09.800 --> 0:09:12.480 liking some pictures casually, maybe like start doing like a 0:09:13.080 --> 0:09:16.320 reactions to pictures instead of the life first to request, 0:09:16.440 --> 0:09:19.600 which would be a great sign if he did that, right. Yeah, 0:09:19.640 --> 0:09:21.040 I can't remember the last time I proved a friend 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:24.320 request on Facebook. It's been I've got I think slightly 0:09:24.360 --> 0:09:29.600 different life. I approved tonight. Whatever happened to Shorty short face? Okay, great, 0:09:29.679 --> 0:09:31.320 I'm glad you brought this first of all, that's not 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:35.280 what we call him. Who is this? Sure McGhee, Thank you. 0:09:36.720 --> 0:09:39.920 This was a guy from Bumble who I was talking 0:09:39.960 --> 0:09:44.600 to for like six weeks and then I was like, Hey, 0:09:45.000 --> 0:09:46.679 my sister is going to be in San Diego, so 0:09:46.720 --> 0:09:48.520 I'll come down. Because he lived in San Diego and 0:09:48.679 --> 0:09:50.360 Erica lives in Los Angeles, which is going to be 0:09:50.400 --> 0:09:52.679 a hurdle, but she was open to going down. That 0:09:52.760 --> 0:09:54.800 wasn't a big deal to me. And the reason we 0:09:54.800 --> 0:09:57.040 called him short McGhee, if I may, it's because she 0:09:57.120 --> 0:09:59.240 was very concerned from his pictures that he was short. 0:09:59.760 --> 0:10:02.240 We analyzed them, we decided I don't think he is 0:10:02.280 --> 0:10:03.800 because he seems to be the same size of the 0:10:03.800 --> 0:10:06.920 other people he's hanging out with. But but Dean wanted 0:10:06.960 --> 0:10:09.200 to point out that he was not tall, and I'm like, okay, 0:10:09.440 --> 0:10:13.720 but he's not short, right, I guess it's five nine? 0:10:14.280 --> 0:10:17.480 Oh five nine is a deal breaker. We've gone We've 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:22.760 gone through this. I'm like five eight, you're like five four. 0:10:23.920 --> 0:10:32.679 Maybe my hype perception is just close as we are, Dean, um. 0:10:32.880 --> 0:10:34.880 But what happened with him? Oh yeah, I texted him that, 0:10:35.000 --> 0:10:37.240 and we had already talked about me coming down that weekend, 0:10:37.720 --> 0:10:39.400 and then he was like, oh, I think I'm going 0:10:39.440 --> 0:10:42.000 to be a big bear. And then I sent him 0:10:42.000 --> 0:10:44.560 a mess I didn't even answer. And then I sent 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:47.880 him a message the following Monday and was like, hope 0:10:47.880 --> 0:10:49.760 you had a great weekend even though it didn't involve me, 0:10:49.960 --> 0:10:51.880 and let me matchever in l A. And I have 0:10:51.880 --> 0:10:55.120 not heard a word from him. Senfing Okay, he got 0:10:55.160 --> 0:10:58.720 he's got a new uh. But he also did a 0:10:58.720 --> 0:11:01.720 move which is not great, which was the FaceTime ambush. 0:11:01.720 --> 0:11:04.160 Oh my God, it was so bad. Did we talk 0:11:04.160 --> 0:11:05.839 about this yet? I don't think I've heard this story. 0:11:06.400 --> 0:11:09.240 It was one Sunday Sunday's you are not done up. 0:11:09.400 --> 0:11:12.400 I am in bed in my tailor swift sweatcher like 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:14.520 a mess, and he does. We're on the phone and 0:11:14.559 --> 0:11:16.360 then he's like, oh, I'm gonna I'm gonna face time 0:11:16.360 --> 0:11:19.800 you boom hits it and I'm like, did you answer? 0:11:19.840 --> 0:11:22.280 Did you? I had to answer. I had no option. 0:11:22.280 --> 0:11:24.400 I tell you move I've never heard of before. But 0:11:24.520 --> 0:11:28.040 I respect it to face Why I am bush because 0:11:28.200 --> 0:11:30.640 I was even just telling Leslie this this morning. I 0:11:30.679 --> 0:11:34.080 wish that she like I appreciate when I can have 0:11:34.120 --> 0:11:36.400 a conversation, like be with a girl that doesn't feel 0:11:36.400 --> 0:11:39.120 the need to be done up all the time. Well, 0:11:39.280 --> 0:11:42.400 I prefer I think Leslie looks more beautiful without makeup on. 0:11:42.600 --> 0:11:44.439 I don't know if that's like it's it's a compliment 0:11:44.440 --> 0:11:46.360 at the same time, like it's a compliment. I'll take 0:11:46.360 --> 0:11:49.280 it as a compliment, but I also enjoy I think 0:11:49.320 --> 0:11:51.199 it's also it says a loud about you when you 0:11:51.240 --> 0:11:54.200 go out. It's a good way to look um, well 0:11:54.280 --> 0:11:56.440 dressed and put together. At the same time, if I'm 0:11:56.440 --> 0:11:58.640 out and about meeting with people, I think it's it's 0:11:58.679 --> 0:12:00.360 one thing. But we went to the gym this morning. 0:12:00.400 --> 0:12:03.839 I didn't wear makeup. Um, I'm just saying to his credit, 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:06.960 I like the FaceTime and bush guys have no idea 0:12:07.520 --> 0:12:09.559 make up though, if I could throw that in. Guys 0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:12.480 are the ones who say I like a girl without makeup. 0:12:12.520 --> 0:12:14.280 I like the natural elect And they're also the first 0:12:14.280 --> 0:12:17.040 people to say, you look tired. Are you feeling okay? 0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:21.079 You never want to hear that. But I Deean did 0:12:21.120 --> 0:12:23.560 the same thing. And we never talked about this, but 0:12:23.920 --> 0:12:26.719 we I think he facetimes me, like maybe when you're 0:12:26.720 --> 0:12:30.839 in Hawaii over Christmas, And it was one of the 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:34.319 first times we FaceTime, and I was like in bed, 0:12:34.679 --> 0:12:36.560 lights were off. You go from a phone call to 0:12:36.559 --> 0:12:39.240 a FaceTime. Um, no, you just call me out of 0:12:39.240 --> 0:12:41.080 the blue. But it happened to be a FaceTime because 0:12:41.080 --> 0:12:42.840 if you FaceTime someone out of the blue, you can 0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:47.480 simply ignore it. If you FaceTime via phone call that 0:12:47.600 --> 0:12:50.319 you know that they're available in the Yeah, I mean 0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:52.320 that's you just gotta you don't have a choice. I 0:12:52.320 --> 0:12:54.280 have to answer, is that a move? Is that a move? 0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:57.640 To say, if I do this, she can't hide anything. 0:12:58.240 --> 0:13:00.200 I really get to see the real hurt if I 0:13:00.280 --> 0:13:03.559 just ambush. I don't know what the motive was for him. 0:13:04.160 --> 0:13:06.800 What do you say was the motive? I talked about 0:13:06.800 --> 0:13:10.600 my tiny bedroom, which is another story, and then he's like, oh, 0:13:10.640 --> 0:13:13.320 I want to see it. I think he was looking 0:13:13.320 --> 0:13:16.240 for any opportunity because we hadn't met. We never still 0:13:16.280 --> 0:13:18.600 have met, so maybe because everyone wants to know if 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:20.800 they look like what's in their profile. Right, So how 0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:23.319 was the remainder of the conversation on FaceTime? Totally fine? 0:13:23.360 --> 0:13:25.640 And then we hung up because he was like walking somewhere, 0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:27.160 and then he called me back and we talked on 0:13:27.200 --> 0:13:30.000 the phone for another like twenty minutes. But after that 0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:32.880 he seemed like yeah, I mean, of course he did 0:13:35.360 --> 0:13:37.880 like the confidence, but I mean, yeah, I look different 0:13:37.880 --> 0:13:39.880 in my photos than I do on like a very 0:13:40.000 --> 0:13:42.800 very hungover, a chill Sunday, like I had been out 0:13:42.840 --> 0:13:45.440 fourteen hours the day before. And we've done the process 0:13:45.640 --> 0:13:49.079 of going through your Brumble profile, which you deleted bumble, 0:13:49.679 --> 0:13:52.319 No I still haven't. I was going to delete it, 0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:55.720 and then I, I don't know, I hear that you're 0:13:55.720 --> 0:13:59.200 trying out your harmony these days too, about too that's exciting. 0:13:59.840 --> 0:14:02.840 I don't know, is it? Yes, it is exciting. I 0:14:02.840 --> 0:14:05.600 think it is. You're gonna find money, more meaningful relationships. 0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:08.160 Not that you won't find meaningful relationships on bumble, but 0:14:08.200 --> 0:14:10.319 I think that the percent the success rate is higher 0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:13.360 on an app, on an harmony versus a dating app. 0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:16.160 I think, you know for sure it's not guys looking 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:20.480 for hookups the harmony sure, maybe not for sure, the 0:14:20.680 --> 0:14:23.160 higher chance of a guy looking for relationships the serious 0:14:23.240 --> 0:14:26.640 dating app. Yeah, platforms just kind of like I'm not 0:14:26.680 --> 0:14:29.520 even yet, like am I ready for actually serious? I 0:14:29.520 --> 0:14:32.360 think that's where this is, like going on the Bachelor 0:14:32.680 --> 0:14:36.040 instead of going on the Bachelor in Paradise. You know, 0:14:36.280 --> 0:14:40.280 good comparison. That Okay, very nice analogy, And you know what, 0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:43.120 I'd go on the Bachelor, So maybe would you go 0:14:43.160 --> 0:14:49.040 on Paradise? I don't want to be bathing? Come on, 0:14:50.280 --> 0:14:53.400 go on Facebook right now and and and friendship that way, 0:14:53.440 --> 0:14:54.880 will know maybe by the end of the show he'll 0:14:54.960 --> 0:14:58.800 risk accept that's a great request it now, and if 0:14:58.800 --> 0:15:00.760 he accepts it before the end of the show, that's 0:15:00.800 --> 0:15:02.600 a very good song, very good thing because he's you're 0:15:02.600 --> 0:15:08.240 certainly working. Yes, we're listening listening to this podcast. Could 0:15:08.240 --> 0:15:10.600 you imagine if like, my doctor is like a Dean 0:15:10.640 --> 0:15:15.840 Ungler fan and like not alright, so can you do 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:18.800 it now? For real? I know you're hesitant, but I 0:15:18.840 --> 0:15:25.240 think this is it's this or nothing. In my two guys, 0:15:25.280 --> 0:15:27.400 he's going to be like, what the heck my patient 0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:29.640 who has met me four times? No way, he's going 0:15:29.680 --> 0:15:32.400 to be stoked. He's going to be excited because it's 0:15:32.400 --> 0:15:34.640 such a good time with you in his office. He 0:15:34.640 --> 0:15:36.880 could literally cut the sexual attention with a night. It's 0:15:36.920 --> 0:15:40.200 not to like about that. He has knives he could 0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:44.400 do to shut my gums. Let just take the scalpel 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:46.480 out real quick and cut the sexual attention with two us. 0:15:46.560 --> 0:15:49.640 Because Erika, you're making me all hot and bothered. I 0:15:49.760 --> 0:15:53.200 hope he doesn't talk like that. Like listen here, buster, 0:15:57.120 --> 0:15:59.240 can we do some emails? Yeah, let's do some emails? 0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:03.080 All right, here we go. This is from Olivia. Hi, Dean, 0:16:03.200 --> 0:16:05.160 Mark Eastern and Erica. I don't think she knew that 0:16:05.240 --> 0:16:06.720 Leslie was going to be here, but I'm sure she 0:16:06.720 --> 0:16:10.240 would say, here, Dean, listen to this because this is 0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:12.240 what you need to hear you. Guys are by far 0:16:12.360 --> 0:16:14.680 one of my favorite podcast. It makes me laugh, It 0:16:14.720 --> 0:16:16.920 teaches me so much. It gives me great perspective to 0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:19.480 any in every situation, which is why I'm writing to you. 0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:22.360 Maybe long When did hear me out? I'm twenty five 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:24.840 years old Native Angelina. That's what we call people who 0:16:24.960 --> 0:16:27.040 grew up in Los Angeles. But the past year I've 0:16:27.040 --> 0:16:29.200 been in the DC area. As of recently, I have 0:16:29.320 --> 0:16:30.920 moved back to l A. And on a recent trip 0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:32.360 out to l a month ago, I went out with 0:16:32.360 --> 0:16:35.120 a friend. We met a couple of really interesting, intriguing guys. 0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:37.240 I was really hitting it off with one of them. 0:16:37.240 --> 0:16:39.160 A mid conversation, I mentioned I was living on the 0:16:39.160 --> 0:16:41.960 East Coast, but quickly stated I was moving back soon. 0:16:42.440 --> 0:16:44.520 And after saying that, I noticed his body language is 0:16:44.560 --> 0:16:47.800 demeanor changed. And then after another tennis minutes, he asked 0:16:47.800 --> 0:16:52.840 before my friends number. It threw me off. He did 0:16:52.880 --> 0:16:54.400 reach out to my friend a couple of days later, 0:16:54.440 --> 0:16:56.840 but she never replied. Now, like I said before, I'm 0:16:56.880 --> 0:16:59.000 back in l A. I found his Instagram accounts. So 0:16:59.040 --> 0:17:01.520 here's my question. I want to DM him remind him 0:17:01.520 --> 0:17:03.840 of who I am. Poke fun at him, call him 0:17:03.880 --> 0:17:05.639 out for asking for my friends number one, I was 0:17:05.640 --> 0:17:08.399 the one interested, and then playfully say I can let 0:17:08.400 --> 0:17:10.200 it slide if you want to meet up for drinks 0:17:10.240 --> 0:17:12.840 or coffee. My friends say do it, But I need 0:17:12.840 --> 0:17:15.080 a guy's perspective on the whole thing. Should I be 0:17:15.119 --> 0:17:17.080 gutting ask the guy out or is it not worth it? 0:17:17.080 --> 0:17:19.000 Thanks for helping a gal out. You guys are the best, 0:17:19.240 --> 0:17:23.640 just your average sucky dat or Olivia, Well, Olivia, it's okay. 0:17:23.640 --> 0:17:25.920 We all suck at dating a little bit at certain times. 0:17:25.920 --> 0:17:28.280 That's true. My perspective on this is yeah, go ahead 0:17:28.280 --> 0:17:30.520 and d m him. Um. I would say that the 0:17:30.520 --> 0:17:34.919 reason that his body language shifted was because when you 0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:37.239 don't live in the city that the guy lives in, 0:17:37.359 --> 0:17:39.119 and then you say that you're moving to that city 0:17:39.200 --> 0:17:41.919 and you have a perspective relationship on the line, there 0:17:41.920 --> 0:17:46.080 becomes an uneasy amount of pressure on the guy, like 0:17:46.119 --> 0:17:48.160 because then it's almost kind of like he's he has 0:17:48.160 --> 0:17:50.320 the pressure of her moving to l A almost because 0:17:50.320 --> 0:17:51.840 of him, And obviously that wasn't the case. So I 0:17:51.840 --> 0:17:53.880 think by d m ing him now that you live 0:17:53.920 --> 0:17:56.920 in l A, it's clear that you didn't move to 0:17:57.080 --> 0:17:59.080 l A for him, not that you were going to 0:17:59.119 --> 0:18:00.880 in the first place, but just it's it's a lot 0:18:01.320 --> 0:18:05.040 less pressure now. So I'd say, d mm. So you're 0:18:05.040 --> 0:18:07.080 saying he didn't ask for her numbers simply because she 0:18:07.119 --> 0:18:10.360 didn't live in town. Yes, if there was clear chemistry 0:18:10.400 --> 0:18:12.240 before and he had intentions of asking her and then 0:18:12.240 --> 0:18:14.480 she said that and then his body language changed, that's 0:18:14.480 --> 0:18:17.879 what it's. Because it's because no one wants to be 0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:20.480 in a long distance relationship, and so the the idea 0:18:20.520 --> 0:18:23.879 of that is very troublesome. And especially when it's just 0:18:24.000 --> 0:18:27.040 meeting someone and your friend who you maybe are hitting 0:18:27.080 --> 0:18:29.520 it off just as equally with you're getting that and 0:18:29.520 --> 0:18:31.920 then she lives local, I think he should he should 0:18:31.960 --> 0:18:36.000 da her? Why not Leslie UM for Leslie or Leslie 0:18:36.240 --> 0:18:42.159 Leslie with great earth dog, whatever you want, um My 0:18:42.200 --> 0:18:44.280 friends call me Lester. I don't really like that one 0:18:44.480 --> 0:18:47.080 believe that would be. I feel like you're speaking from 0:18:47.080 --> 0:18:50.239 experience a little bit with that. I think that's all 0:18:50.280 --> 0:18:52.119 we can really do. I speak from experience about these 0:18:52.119 --> 0:18:55.880 types of things like long distance relationship, maybe a girlfriend 0:18:55.880 --> 0:18:59.600 moving to l A, et cetera. There adds a different 0:18:59.640 --> 0:19:02.480 dynamic especially when you just met someone obviously, like they 0:19:02.520 --> 0:19:04.640 haven't been dating, they just met this night, and when 0:19:04.680 --> 0:19:07.960 she mentions that she lives on the East Coast, and 0:19:08.000 --> 0:19:11.880 then he like, it's just challenging to be excited about 0:19:11.880 --> 0:19:13.679 getting into a relationship with someone when they lived three 0:19:13.720 --> 0:19:16.800 thousand miles away from you. You know you had Obviously 0:19:16.840 --> 0:19:18.639 we had a different experience because we lived in the 0:19:18.640 --> 0:19:20.800 same house for two weeks and then we've kind of 0:19:20.800 --> 0:19:23.600 like discussed the logistics of a potential relationship and that's 0:19:23.600 --> 0:19:26.320 why it's been so good for us. But I'm just saying, like, 0:19:26.359 --> 0:19:28.159 that's what he's seeing when he meets a girl at 0:19:28.160 --> 0:19:30.960 a bar who doesn't live there, and maybe that's a 0:19:30.960 --> 0:19:32.720 good time. Maybe he wasn't even looking just to hook 0:19:32.760 --> 0:19:34.240 up with you and then like send you on your way. 0:19:34.320 --> 0:19:36.920 He's like he's looking for a relationship. Maybe I think 0:19:36.960 --> 0:19:38.640 I'm just going to take us out of this equation 0:19:38.640 --> 0:19:41.399 and not make it personal. I'm gonna completely focus on 0:19:41.400 --> 0:19:44.399 Olivia and say that I'd forget him. If somebody asked 0:19:44.440 --> 0:19:47.960 for my friends and number, I would not have that 0:19:48.480 --> 0:19:51.000 like at all. I'd say bye, goodbye forever. Kind of 0:19:51.040 --> 0:19:54.080 forgot that part of that Yeah, that is not cool. 0:19:54.359 --> 0:19:58.280 I hate this. Sorry, Olivia, forget him. It's it's rude. 0:19:58.280 --> 0:19:59.760 I mean, it really is. Whether he was into you 0:19:59.840 --> 0:20:02.960 or an clearly that's rude to do. Maybe maybe that's 0:20:02.960 --> 0:20:06.320 one of his tactics to ask for the friends number, 0:20:06.359 --> 0:20:09.879 in which case still goodbye exactly. That's your game, you 0:20:09.920 --> 0:20:12.600 agree with Murph Sully. I didn't that first, but after 0:20:12.640 --> 0:20:15.760 hearing your reasoning on it, yes, I'm going to go 0:20:15.800 --> 0:20:17.480 with you two as well. I don't think this is 0:20:17.720 --> 0:20:19.320 I think if he was interested in you, he would 0:20:19.320 --> 0:20:22.240 have asked your friend for your number the other way around. 0:20:22.280 --> 0:20:24.320 And it's rude to ask for your friend's number because 0:20:24.320 --> 0:20:27.280 you two were vibing and you know he felt that. Yeah, 0:20:27.440 --> 0:20:29.520 I don't love it on the first three, then I 0:20:29.600 --> 0:20:31.959 still stand by it. There's a lot of people out 0:20:32.000 --> 0:20:34.240 of principle, a lot of people in southern California find 0:20:34.280 --> 0:20:36.560 somebody else. That's my thought. Yeah, it was this the 0:20:36.600 --> 0:20:42.240 first conversation too. Yeah, they met there, I believe. Yeah, Okay, sure, 0:20:42.480 --> 0:20:45.280 it's the first conversation. But that argument can benefit both 0:20:45.280 --> 0:20:49.480 sides because if it was just their first conversation and 0:20:49.480 --> 0:20:51.640 he asked for their friend's phone number, big whoop. If 0:20:51.640 --> 0:20:53.840 they were like dating and he asked for her friend's 0:20:53.840 --> 0:20:56.000 phone number, I think that's a I don't. I don't 0:20:56.000 --> 0:20:58.280 think that's a great way to start off a potential 0:20:58.840 --> 0:21:02.600 relationship with somebody. You though. You want to feel important, 0:21:02.640 --> 0:21:05.720 You want to feel loved, even if it's the first conversation. 0:21:05.800 --> 0:21:07.720 You want to feel like this person likes you. And 0:21:07.760 --> 0:21:11.280 if somebody's asking for my friend's number, I'm gone. All right, Well, Olivia, 0:21:11.320 --> 0:21:12.720 take it for what you will. The host of the 0:21:12.760 --> 0:21:19.320 podcast and the co host is telling you to forget him, 0:21:19.359 --> 0:21:21.560 all right. This is Sarah. She says, I'm twenty six 0:21:21.600 --> 0:21:23.600 and a guy who's twenty four and hinge in September. 0:21:23.640 --> 0:21:26.080 We've hit it off since our first date. On our 0:21:26.119 --> 0:21:27.920 third he introduced me to his family, which I thought 0:21:28.000 --> 0:21:30.080 was kind of soon, but flattering to me because they 0:21:30.119 --> 0:21:32.560 told me he doesn't really ever do that. A month 0:21:32.600 --> 0:21:34.800 into our relationship, we went on a guy's trip ended 0:21:34.840 --> 0:21:36.360 up hooking up with a random girl in the bar. 0:21:37.119 --> 0:21:38.960 On his way home, he texted me, told me what happened, 0:21:38.960 --> 0:21:40.639 and this really hurt me because I told him the 0:21:40.720 --> 0:21:42.920 one thing I could not handle in a relationship is 0:21:43.000 --> 0:21:45.359 cheating and he told me he felt the same. We 0:21:45.400 --> 0:21:48.840 had a long talk. He seemed very unapologetic but very 0:21:48.880 --> 0:21:51.560 emotional at the same time. His explanation was get this. 0:21:51.640 --> 0:21:53.640 His explanation was that it wasn't in the moment kind 0:21:53.640 --> 0:21:55.960 of thing. He thought about it. He knew what was 0:21:56.000 --> 0:21:58.840 going to happen and decided to go with it. He 0:21:58.840 --> 0:22:01.000 said he wants to experience the things in life and 0:22:01.040 --> 0:22:03.199 that was new and exciting for him. We took a 0:22:03.200 --> 0:22:05.400 week apart and decided to start fresh. He was very 0:22:05.400 --> 0:22:08.520 remorseful and reassured me that I meant everything to him. 0:22:08.680 --> 0:22:11.119 Four months into our relationship, we had a small disagreement 0:22:11.119 --> 0:22:12.879 which stem from what he had done in the past. 0:22:12.960 --> 0:22:15.320 We finally talked about it fully and buried it. A 0:22:15.359 --> 0:22:17.840 week later, we had an argument about spending the day 0:22:17.840 --> 0:22:20.159 together when he didn't feel like spending the day together, 0:22:20.480 --> 0:22:22.240 and out of nowhere, he told me he wanted to 0:22:22.280 --> 0:22:25.000 break up because we're hurting each other. This crushed me 0:22:25.119 --> 0:22:27.199 so much more than I could ever explain, because I 0:22:27.200 --> 0:22:29.120 had realized that I loved this man, and the week 0:22:29.160 --> 0:22:31.399 before he expressed that he never wanted to be without 0:22:31.440 --> 0:22:34.399 me and that we could work through whatever came Our way. 0:22:34.920 --> 0:22:37.399 We ended amicably. We're still friends on social media, but 0:22:37.440 --> 0:22:40.080 I'm constantly wondering why he broke up with me. His 0:22:40.160 --> 0:22:42.800 explanation doesn't seem enough, and I'm wondering if maybe he 0:22:42.880 --> 0:22:45.040 just wanted to be free to do what he did before. 0:22:45.520 --> 0:22:51.679 What a weird situation. It is a weird situation. We 0:22:51.760 --> 0:22:53.440 get so many emails from guys that are just like, 0:22:53.560 --> 0:22:55.399 I love you, I love you, I love you forever, 0:22:55.520 --> 0:22:57.320 it's you and me, and the next week they cheat 0:22:57.400 --> 0:22:59.640 or just dump you out of the blue. It's still 0:22:59.640 --> 0:23:06.920 frush writing yea, why do they blindside us like that? Oh? What? 0:23:07.119 --> 0:23:10.160 What was? Her question? Just doesn't seem enough, And now 0:23:10.160 --> 0:23:12.280 I'm wondering if maybe he just wanted to be free 0:23:12.320 --> 0:23:14.720 to do what he did before. That's her question. I 0:23:14.720 --> 0:23:16.720 guess that's her question is why did this? Why did 0:23:16.760 --> 0:23:19.120 he do this? Which which was the real him? Did 0:23:19.119 --> 0:23:20.960 he really love me? Or is he the guy that 0:23:21.040 --> 0:23:24.720 just wants to be with everybody? M M. I think 0:23:24.760 --> 0:23:27.199 she needs to get move on. It sounds like he sucks. 0:23:27.440 --> 0:23:29.200 It just sounds like he's just not that end to 0:23:29.280 --> 0:23:31.520 the relationship. This part really made me upset when he 0:23:31.760 --> 0:23:35.480 when she said his explanation wasn't in the moment kind 0:23:35.520 --> 0:23:36.879 of thing. He thought about it, he knew it was 0:23:36.920 --> 0:23:38.640 going to happen and decided to go with it. He said, 0:23:38.680 --> 0:23:40.439 he wants to experience new things in life, and that 0:23:40.480 --> 0:23:42.680 was a new and exciting for him. Even if that's true, 0:23:42.720 --> 0:23:44.480 how do you tell that to the girl you cheat 0:23:44.560 --> 0:23:46.080 or not? Right? How do you say, by the way, 0:23:46.160 --> 0:23:47.760 I thought about it and it was gonna have him 0:23:47.800 --> 0:23:50.399 did it anyway? So this is someone this guy is 0:23:50.440 --> 0:23:52.560 someone that's not supposed to be in a relationship right now, 0:23:53.000 --> 0:23:54.320 and that means that he's not supposed to be in 0:23:54.320 --> 0:23:56.640 a relationship with her. So she just needs to move on. 0:23:56.680 --> 0:23:58.720 I don't know. I think that her question is what 0:23:59.000 --> 0:24:00.399 did he does? He want to be free to do 0:24:00.400 --> 0:24:02.800 what he did before, And the answer that simply is yes, yes, 0:24:02.880 --> 0:24:03.879 he wants to be able to do over the hell 0:24:03.920 --> 0:24:06.480 he wants. In fact, you probably saw somebody else and 0:24:06.600 --> 0:24:08.199 that was that, and so that's that's the long and 0:24:08.200 --> 0:24:09.760 short of it is that he wants to continue to 0:24:09.800 --> 0:24:11.040 do that thing where you can make out with a 0:24:11.040 --> 0:24:12.680 girl at a bar and not have to feel remorseful 0:24:12.680 --> 0:24:15.159 about it, and he can still love you. I guess, 0:24:15.600 --> 0:24:17.840 but he's not ready to be in a relationship with you, 0:24:17.840 --> 0:24:19.359 and you shouldn't want him in a relationship with you. 0:24:19.400 --> 0:24:22.120 When you're twenty four and you're a guy, making out 0:24:22.160 --> 0:24:24.320 with random women at bars is a priority for you. 0:24:24.720 --> 0:24:28.200 He's a child. If I may be so bold and six, 0:24:28.280 --> 0:24:29.520 but I just want to put it out there, twenty 0:24:29.560 --> 0:24:33.399 six is light years. You're almost you're almost twenty seven. 0:24:33.720 --> 0:24:35.359 I'm just saying this guy is a child. I'm not 0:24:35.359 --> 0:24:37.480 saying all twenty four your guys are children. This guy, though, 0:24:37.560 --> 0:24:39.320 is a child and just wants what he wants in 0:24:39.359 --> 0:24:42.479 that moment and doesn't think five minutes ahead. My advice 0:24:42.520 --> 0:24:45.040 to you, Sarah is to get off of him on 0:24:45.080 --> 0:24:47.760 social media, block him on social media, get him out 0:24:47.760 --> 0:24:50.280 of your life, and move on. You have learned from 0:24:50.280 --> 0:24:54.280 this experience, take that experience and move on. I think 0:24:54.280 --> 0:24:57.000 that's good advice. I think a red flag in the 0:24:57.040 --> 0:24:59.960 beginning is when you said, about a month into our relationship, 0:25:00.040 --> 0:25:01.919 up he went on a guy's trip and ended up 0:25:01.960 --> 0:25:03.680 hooking with a random girl in the bar. I feel 0:25:03.720 --> 0:25:05.919 like in the beginning of the relationship is like the 0:25:05.960 --> 0:25:09.639 amazing honeymoon phase, and you're not supposed to be thinking 0:25:09.640 --> 0:25:11.640 about other people who are hooking up with other people 0:25:11.720 --> 0:25:15.240 during that time. That's the most precious time. Um yeah, 0:25:15.359 --> 0:25:17.040 you know, while you still can't, I mean to turn out. 0:25:17.080 --> 0:25:19.240 So stay out, don't get back in, don't even stick 0:25:19.240 --> 0:25:21.480 a toe back in the water. To Mark's point, block 0:25:21.560 --> 0:25:26.240 him on all social media and learn. Block his parents 0:25:26.240 --> 0:25:29.280 on social media, block his friends on social media, your life, 0:25:29.320 --> 0:25:35.320 Get the heck out of there. Olivia Sara Sarah Sharon 0:25:35.400 --> 0:25:38.040 is a question for deedon. Olivia was the first one. Yeah, 0:25:38.040 --> 0:25:39.720 she was, She says, Hey, Dean, my name is Sharon. 0:25:39.720 --> 0:25:41.399 I'm a huge fan of The Bachelor Bachelor Rette, and 0:25:41.400 --> 0:25:44.000 I'm completely hard. I was completely heartbroken on the episode 0:25:44.000 --> 0:25:47.159 on which you went home in Rachel's season. My question 0:25:47.200 --> 0:25:49.320 for you, did you feel like Rachel made you show 0:25:49.359 --> 0:25:52.160 the world this side of your family and then essentially 0:25:52.160 --> 0:25:54.520 through it out the window. Have you ever been able 0:25:54.560 --> 0:25:56.320 to talk to her about that. I'm sure she knew 0:25:56.320 --> 0:25:58.960 what was coming when she went to your hometown with you. 0:25:58.960 --> 0:26:02.439 You're amazing and I'm so happy for you and Leslie. Leslie, sorry, 0:26:02.760 --> 0:26:05.560 clearly you don't suck at dating anymore. Much love from 0:26:05.560 --> 0:26:08.040 Bachelor Nations that's a sweet email, But have you ever 0:26:08.040 --> 0:26:10.600 thought of it like that? The question is do I 0:26:10.640 --> 0:26:14.960 feel like? What was the question? Did she eventually throw 0:26:15.000 --> 0:26:16.920 out the experience that you have with my family out 0:26:16.960 --> 0:26:19.199 the window? I guess it. Did you feel used a 0:26:19.200 --> 0:26:21.280 little bit? Or did you feel abused that she made 0:26:21.320 --> 0:26:23.800 you bring all this family drama on a national television 0:26:23.880 --> 0:26:26.040 and then say goodbye? No, I didn't necessarily care so 0:26:26.119 --> 0:26:28.280 much about that. I have heard people say like, oh, 0:26:28.320 --> 0:26:30.880 Dean got taken advantage of his family, got taken advantage 0:26:30.880 --> 0:26:33.119 of for ABC from ABC for ratings, all that kind 0:26:33.119 --> 0:26:35.080 of stuff, and it's like, No, I agreed to do 0:26:35.119 --> 0:26:38.199 this show. I knew the potential repercussions of going to 0:26:38.240 --> 0:26:40.600 a hometown date before even one on the show. UM 0:26:40.680 --> 0:26:42.520 my family, every single one of them signed up to 0:26:42.520 --> 0:26:44.520 be on the show as well, so like they fully 0:26:44.560 --> 0:26:48.639 well knew what they were getting themselves into. Um I was. 0:26:48.720 --> 0:26:50.000 I mean, I don't think it was a c that 0:26:50.000 --> 0:26:52.320 I was shocked that I got sent home, especially after 0:26:52.359 --> 0:26:56.800 that experience. Didn't she tell you she loved you? She 0:26:56.840 --> 0:26:58.399 said she was falling in love with me on the 0:26:58.400 --> 0:27:02.879 floor of my father's wives house. Let's be very clear, 0:27:03.920 --> 0:27:08.600 An interesting place to be in that moment. Um. I 0:27:08.640 --> 0:27:11.000 have not had a conversation with with Rachel about that. 0:27:11.240 --> 0:27:13.399 I mean, in hindsight, I fully understand where she was 0:27:13.440 --> 0:27:15.359 coming from. Like she was like, you would just weren't 0:27:15.359 --> 0:27:16.840 in a place in life where I need you to be. 0:27:16.880 --> 0:27:18.720 I was like, I mean at the time, I was like, 0:27:18.720 --> 0:27:20.119 I don't believe you, But then watching it back, I 0:27:20.160 --> 0:27:21.840 was like, Okay, I kind of understand and see where 0:27:21.880 --> 0:27:25.040 you're coming from. I think anybody that goes home after 0:27:25.160 --> 0:27:29.520 hometown dates, um, that's hard. That's it's it's kind of 0:27:29.560 --> 0:27:31.040 like a slap in the face. What did you did you? 0:27:31.040 --> 0:27:33.640 Not like my family did you. It's kind of easy 0:27:33.680 --> 0:27:35.119 to be like, oh, my family was the reason I 0:27:35.119 --> 0:27:36.960 got sent home, but in reality that's not the case 0:27:36.960 --> 0:27:40.240 at all. I don't think, Um, I made a joke 0:27:40.280 --> 0:27:42.240 to Lesson because Leslie met my father this past week 0:27:42.320 --> 0:27:45.560 or what a week ago in Colorado, and uh, I 0:27:45.640 --> 0:27:48.399 was like, the last time I introduced a girl to 0:27:48.440 --> 0:27:50.800 my father, I got dumped two days later, So let's 0:27:50.800 --> 0:27:53.159 not make a habit of that. And I feel like 0:27:53.200 --> 0:27:56.520 you were really actually nervous about that. It's just not 0:27:56.600 --> 0:27:58.080 there there. I mean, we don't even to talk about. 0:27:58.359 --> 0:28:01.280 But it wasn't it wasn't a nerve thing. It was 0:28:01.320 --> 0:28:06.040 just a matter of backed because that's what happened. Yeah, yeah, 0:28:06.560 --> 0:28:08.280 I mean we're good. So what's the question here. I'm sorry, 0:28:08.280 --> 0:28:10.120 I feel I think you've answered it. Okay, you don't. 0:28:10.160 --> 0:28:12.480 You didn't feel used and abused by that situation? I 0:28:12.560 --> 0:28:14.560 told I told the producers while I was going through 0:28:14.560 --> 0:28:16.879 the screen process. Um, I was like, Hey, just so 0:28:16.920 --> 0:28:18.760 you guys know, like I have a weird family dynamic 0:28:18.840 --> 0:28:20.879 and if I make it to hometowns, it's gonna be 0:28:20.920 --> 0:28:22.560 like something you've probably never seen before. And they were 0:28:22.600 --> 0:28:24.640 well aware of it, and I'm sure they were kind 0:28:24.640 --> 0:28:26.800 of like licking their chops and they're like, yeah, we 0:28:26.880 --> 0:28:29.959 get this guy to hometowns, things are gonna get interesting. 0:28:30.720 --> 0:28:33.720 That's what makes me kind of like uncomfortable. I remember 0:28:33.760 --> 0:28:35.639 watching it. I didn't even know you yet, and I 0:28:35.720 --> 0:28:38.720 was like something about those feels like maybe they are 0:28:38.800 --> 0:28:41.640 loving this and like, meanwhile, you're having kind of a 0:28:41.760 --> 0:28:44.880 terrible day. You know, But but like you said, you 0:28:44.880 --> 0:28:46.440 signed up for it. We all signed up for it. 0:28:46.760 --> 0:28:48.920 The same thing back to like Becca, like when people 0:28:48.920 --> 0:28:51.760 were talking about like how like unethical it was for 0:28:51.880 --> 0:28:55.200 already to break up with her on camera for that 0:28:55.600 --> 0:28:58.160 and at the end of the day there that's their 0:28:58.240 --> 0:29:01.959 job is to create right and attaining TV show. Unfortunately. Well, 0:29:01.960 --> 0:29:04.360 and it's like that book that just came out, um 0:29:04.520 --> 0:29:08.280 something about Bachelor Nation. I forget Amy Kaufman's book and 0:29:08.320 --> 0:29:10.160 talks about they mentioned in there that some of the 0:29:10.200 --> 0:29:14.160 producers supposedly would even track the women's menstrual cycles, so 0:29:14.160 --> 0:29:16.880 they would be guaranteed to have the most dramatic reactions 0:29:17.320 --> 0:29:21.240 bad news or new information. I mean that's extreme. So yeah, 0:29:21.320 --> 0:29:23.360 they probably don't. I don't put it past them, though, 0:29:23.680 --> 0:29:25.960 not at all, not for a second. So you can 0:29:26.000 --> 0:29:28.640 relate to some of our's women who were told I'm 0:29:28.640 --> 0:29:30.400 falling in love with you and then two days later 0:29:30.400 --> 0:29:32.160 it's bye bye. You kind of know how they feel 0:29:32.200 --> 0:29:34.480 and what they're what they went through. I guess I 0:29:34.520 --> 0:29:35.920 don't who was he saying that to? You said that 0:29:35.960 --> 0:29:40.120 to Kendall. I think the three different women Lauren. Challenging 0:29:40.160 --> 0:29:42.520 thing in that situation is that's the first taste of 0:29:42.560 --> 0:29:44.400 you not being in the same house as everyone else 0:29:44.400 --> 0:29:46.880 that you're kind of competing with. So it's like when 0:29:46.880 --> 0:29:50.200 I got through the hometowns, I hadn't seen Brian, Peter 0:29:50.480 --> 0:29:53.200 or Eric for a week, and so I wasn't able 0:29:53.200 --> 0:29:55.320 to gauge kind of their relationship with Rachel as I 0:29:55.400 --> 0:29:58.040 was before that, and I just kept being reassured by 0:29:58.080 --> 0:30:00.120 everyone around me, the producers, whoever. It was like, she 0:30:00.120 --> 0:30:01.120 told her she was falling in love with you. I 0:30:01.120 --> 0:30:03.000 don't think I've ever heard anyone say that before going 0:30:03.040 --> 0:30:04.880 into the fantasy suits or anything like that. So you're like, 0:30:05.200 --> 0:30:08.160 I like this kind of like this cloud nine, feeling 0:30:08.200 --> 0:30:10.240 good about the relationship, and then obviously, sure enough things 0:30:10.320 --> 0:30:12.720 kind of tumble down from there. But watching it back, 0:30:12.760 --> 0:30:14.640 like I think I mentioned this before, and like one 0:30:14.640 --> 0:30:16.640 of the first or second podcasts that we've done was 0:30:16.920 --> 0:30:21.480 watching it back and watching Rachel's relationship with Brian, Peter 0:30:21.560 --> 0:30:23.320 and Eric, I'm like, oh, well, no, shout I went 0:30:23.360 --> 0:30:25.400 home when she has so much stronger a connection with 0:30:25.480 --> 0:30:27.640 the other three guys, um, But at the time I 0:30:27.640 --> 0:30:29.720 didn't realize that, you know. So that's kind of that's 0:30:29.720 --> 0:30:31.080 where a lot of the shock factor comes from, because 0:30:31.120 --> 0:30:32.640 you don't really know what to have anything to compared 0:30:32.680 --> 0:30:34.400 to You never think of it it that way, Like 0:30:34.440 --> 0:30:36.680 as a fan, I'm like, no, I just watch all 0:30:36.680 --> 0:30:39.680 your relationships, but really you're in your own head. You 0:30:39.680 --> 0:30:41.840 are in your own head, like it's it's really different. 0:30:42.040 --> 0:30:44.920 Personal question. Yeah, because it's something you brought up before 0:30:44.920 --> 0:30:47.240 on the podcast when you were with your family. Recently, 0:30:47.400 --> 0:30:49.080 we were with your siblings as well. I was with 0:30:49.080 --> 0:30:51.120 my brother and his girlfriend for a night and then 0:30:51.160 --> 0:30:53.000 I was my father for breakfast. Did you bring up 0:30:53.040 --> 0:30:56.840 the Hawaii trip at all? Did that get addressed at all? Um? 0:30:56.960 --> 0:30:59.040 So what's funny is I think that my brother's girlfriend 0:30:59.040 --> 0:31:02.480 and listens to this podcast, she hasn't. We haven't discussed it, 0:31:02.520 --> 0:31:05.400 and Ashley, if you're listening, Hi, I love you. UM, 0:31:05.480 --> 0:31:07.080 and I think that she maybe like said something to 0:31:07.120 --> 0:31:11.040 my brother about UM how I felt like they were 0:31:11.080 --> 0:31:13.400 a little unappreciative. And so he's like he's been like 0:31:13.440 --> 0:31:15.600 showering with showering me with a lot more love lately, 0:31:15.600 --> 0:31:17.080 which I love and it's great, and that's like all 0:31:17.120 --> 0:31:20.760 you can really ask for. UM, my father brought up Hawaii, 0:31:21.520 --> 0:31:23.680 but he like brushed over it. He's like, oh, yeah, 0:31:24.000 --> 0:31:25.440 I thought you guys were going to a main land 0:31:25.720 --> 0:31:27.520 or like big island. So that's why I didn't want 0:31:27.520 --> 0:31:30.200 to go. No, no, he he said what you did 0:31:30.280 --> 0:31:32.720 was a really great thing. Well, that's nice. Yeah, he 0:31:32.800 --> 0:31:35.200 absolutely acknowledged it, right, he said that it was a 0:31:35.200 --> 0:31:37.760 good thing. He was proud and happy for us. But 0:31:37.840 --> 0:31:39.640 the reason he was like, yeah, you said you were 0:31:39.640 --> 0:31:41.480 going to Big Island, and I was like, I don't 0:31:41.480 --> 0:31:43.040 want to go to Big Islands. So that's why decided 0:31:43.080 --> 0:31:47.360 not to go. And here that part. So he brought 0:31:47.360 --> 0:31:49.440 it up. It was like a very brief thing. He 0:31:49.480 --> 0:31:52.440 definitely acknowledged it, and I was glad and happy that 0:31:52.520 --> 0:31:56.000 y'all are under the same roof again. And it was 0:31:56.040 --> 0:32:00.240 a good thing. That's nice, and then nice, Yeah, should 0:32:00.280 --> 0:32:03.520 keep blessling around a lot more. I'll tell y'all the 0:32:03.560 --> 0:32:06.560 secrets of what Dean doesn't want out there. This is 0:32:06.600 --> 0:32:10.239 from Kelly and it's mainly the rest to Erica Love 0:32:10.280 --> 0:32:12.320 your podcast. I hear you talk a lot about online 0:32:12.400 --> 0:32:14.440 dating and the different approaches we take the message people. 0:32:14.720 --> 0:32:17.280 A few weeks look, a few weeks ago, Erica talked 0:32:17.280 --> 0:32:20.360 about her go to opening line was the sub seal. 0:32:21.000 --> 0:32:23.440 So the question we're talking about, what's your opening line 0:32:23.440 --> 0:32:25.080 on a dating app? You match with somebody, how do 0:32:25.080 --> 0:32:27.720 you reach out for the first time, and she used 0:32:27.720 --> 0:32:29.320 this up seal, which is a gift of a seal 0:32:29.400 --> 0:32:31.640 rolling over and lifting up his hand and it says sup, 0:32:32.400 --> 0:32:34.720 which we all thought was cute. Dean didn't think it 0:32:34.760 --> 0:32:36.959 was very Dean was not a fan of the up 0:32:37.000 --> 0:32:39.960 seal anyway. The woman's been struggling. This is Kelly. She'd 0:32:40.000 --> 0:32:42.440 been struggling hardcore with good first lines while using bumbles, 0:32:42.440 --> 0:32:44.320 so she tried, what the heck, let me try this upseal. 0:32:44.360 --> 0:32:45.959 I thought it was a perfect storm because the day 0:32:46.000 --> 0:32:48.120 I went with it we had a huge snowstorm, so 0:32:48.160 --> 0:32:50.160 I was hoping he would make the connection. I'm not 0:32:50.200 --> 0:32:52.800 sure I get that. So like she was in a 0:32:52.840 --> 0:32:58.080 snowstorm and the seal is boy was iron. That was 0:32:58.160 --> 0:33:01.920 probably the fastest unmapped I've ever received. It might have 0:33:01.960 --> 0:33:06.920 been instant. Erica, you failed me big time and all 0:33:06.920 --> 0:33:08.480 serious is what tips can you give us for sending 0:33:08.480 --> 0:33:10.360 a good message? There is into corny catch at their 0:33:10.360 --> 0:33:13.120 attention isn't the same thing everybody else? So we've talked 0:33:13.120 --> 0:33:14.800 about this quite a bit on the shows. What's your 0:33:14.840 --> 0:33:17.560 opening line of the dating apps? We've given our opinions. 0:33:17.600 --> 0:33:19.600 I do like a gift. Maybe that's not the one. 0:33:19.640 --> 0:33:21.520 I do think a gift is cute, You don't. You disagree? 0:33:21.520 --> 0:33:24.440 It just so effortless, and that's not good for an 0:33:24.440 --> 0:33:29.600 opening line. I'm just saying it doesn't convey much like 0:33:29.640 --> 0:33:31.880 you don't feel special by receiving a gift. You don't 0:33:31.920 --> 0:33:34.520 feel special when someone just says hey, you know, there's 0:33:34.560 --> 0:33:37.440 no You don't like feel motivated to continue a conversation 0:33:37.480 --> 0:33:41.000 when someone just can easily, like autonomously quickly do something 0:33:41.040 --> 0:33:43.280 like that. You know, that's literally how you would say 0:33:43.480 --> 0:33:46.520 good morning to me after Winter Games wrapped? Every morning, 0:33:46.600 --> 0:33:53.920 what yes, yes, you did. You would send these the 0:33:53.960 --> 0:33:56.200 puppies with and you would say good morning and the 0:33:56.240 --> 0:34:01.560 puppy voice and emojis whatever it was. Still it was 0:34:01.600 --> 0:34:05.840 still effortless. No, I would take an animal g of 0:34:05.920 --> 0:34:08.680 myself saying good morning, Leslie, and if I was a cat, 0:34:09.760 --> 0:34:14.640 if I was, and it was it was a different 0:34:14.680 --> 0:34:16.839 animal every day. But it was still like, well how 0:34:16.840 --> 0:34:19.640 do I respond to this that? I mean, I give 0:34:22.880 --> 0:34:28.080 um anyways, those aren't sent anymore, but you just it 0:34:28.080 --> 0:34:29.560 seemed like, you know, no, it's a good thing. It's 0:34:29.600 --> 0:34:31.680 a good thing. I didn't like him the cool thing 0:34:31.719 --> 0:34:33.839 about animal gs, especially to somebody you don't know, as 0:34:33.840 --> 0:34:36.040 well as it's also bragging a little bit, like I 0:34:36.280 --> 0:34:38.480 got the iPhone yeah exactly, because I googled it and 0:34:38.520 --> 0:34:40.440 I was like, I guess I should respond with one 0:34:40.440 --> 0:34:44.160 of these. I have an iPhone seven And I remember 0:34:44.200 --> 0:34:45.680 you even saying You're like, I can't wait to see 0:34:45.680 --> 0:34:47.680 what animal get tomorrow. I guess you were being sarcastic 0:34:47.719 --> 0:34:51.200 when you said that. Yeah, my communication was off. You 0:34:51.200 --> 0:34:56.080 guys are part of the learning process exactly. But okay, 0:34:56.080 --> 0:34:59.520 so not a gift perhaps, but what we've discussed this before, 0:34:59.520 --> 0:35:01.200 but do you have a anything murph? If you were 0:35:01.239 --> 0:35:02.960 on a dating app, or maybe you have been in 0:35:03.000 --> 0:35:06.160 the past, what's a good opening line for Kelly. I'm 0:35:06.200 --> 0:35:08.200 the worst at this because I have never in my 0:35:08.280 --> 0:35:13.640 lifetime been on a dating app. Um I am. I 0:35:13.680 --> 0:35:15.759 am lucky. I am dating this guy over here, and 0:35:15.800 --> 0:35:18.759 I don't have to come up with opening lines. You 0:35:18.760 --> 0:35:21.799 can just yeah, um, I like if I'm If you 0:35:21.800 --> 0:35:24.799 look at their likes, you see what they're into. And 0:35:24.880 --> 0:35:27.960 let's say they like Grey's Anatomy. Have you seen last 0:35:27.960 --> 0:35:34.759 week Spears Anatomy yet? Or I don't know and that, 0:35:34.880 --> 0:35:37.960 but it's something you like together walking dead and then 0:35:38.000 --> 0:35:39.680 you say have you seen last week's yet? And that 0:35:39.760 --> 0:35:43.080 starts the whole thing. If you see that, it's that's easy, 0:35:43.200 --> 0:35:45.040 and you can still like kind of rapid fire that 0:35:45.080 --> 0:35:46.360 to a lot of guys that you might be interested in, 0:35:46.400 --> 0:35:48.680 but it's still is unique to the person that you're 0:35:48.680 --> 0:35:52.280 talking to. It's more effort and it's more specific to them. 0:35:52.360 --> 0:35:56.680 So to Kelly, no more sub seals, because this applies 0:35:56.680 --> 0:36:00.520 to you as well. No more sub seals unless unless 0:36:00.520 --> 0:36:03.040 all you're going for is quality quantity and not quality. 0:36:03.080 --> 0:36:06.279 If there's like are going for quantity, well, because just 0:36:06.320 --> 0:36:07.960 like you know, you you kind of throw a bunch 0:36:07.960 --> 0:36:09.239 of crap at the wall and you see what sticks. 0:36:09.239 --> 0:36:10.960 Sort of thing. That's kind of the mentality that a 0:36:10.960 --> 0:36:13.000 lot of people have with those dating apps. But every 0:36:13.000 --> 0:36:14.520 once in a while you'll match with someone that you're 0:36:14.520 --> 0:36:16.800 like really interested in, and those maybe maybe you're the 0:36:16.840 --> 0:36:18.319 ones that you can put a little bit more thought 0:36:18.360 --> 0:36:23.759 into Yeah okay, And if they don't respond to that, 0:36:23.800 --> 0:36:26.880 then throw on a sup seal follow them when the 0:36:26.880 --> 0:36:29.200 sub seal. You can't double text on a dating app 0:36:29.280 --> 0:36:31.480 when they have an answer that is kind of. I 0:36:31.480 --> 0:36:33.200 think all bets are off with dating apps these days, 0:36:33.200 --> 0:36:35.400 you can do whatever the heck you want. Yeah, the 0:36:35.520 --> 0:36:39.439 double tax is a little desperate. I mean, yeah, Hey, 0:36:39.560 --> 0:36:42.239 maybe you didn't get my first message. Hey, um, do 0:36:42.280 --> 0:36:46.120 you remember me from eighteen hours ago? I have friends 0:36:46.120 --> 0:36:48.160 that will match with someone that they're really into, and 0:36:48.200 --> 0:36:50.120 if they don't get a message back, they'll follow them 0:36:50.120 --> 0:36:54.400 on Instagram and d m M or something like that. Hey, 0:36:54.560 --> 0:36:56.560 I gotta go for it. Hey, you just you just 0:36:56.800 --> 0:37:00.920 added on Facebook your oral surgeon. That's a great as 0:37:00.920 --> 0:37:03.359 you accepted the friend requests you guys, I think I'm 0:37:03.400 --> 0:37:05.800 going to like throw. But if he were, if he accepts, 0:37:05.840 --> 0:37:10.399 what's your first line going to be, I'd say, doing great? 0:37:10.920 --> 0:37:12.919 Give me accept you let it linger for a few 0:37:12.960 --> 0:37:16.040 days and see if he reaches out. If not, then 0:37:16.040 --> 0:37:19.319 were we readdress? I don't think how can I tell? 0:37:19.360 --> 0:37:21.480 I just have to go back to his profile? Okay, no, 0:37:21.880 --> 0:37:24.840 except yet it's also the middle of the day. You 0:37:24.920 --> 0:37:27.560 also requested not too terribly long ago, so it's a 0:37:27.600 --> 0:37:29.880 good thing. I have one more email here. Do you 0:37:29.920 --> 0:37:33.239 know what? Matt and Denver because he seems to know you. Yeah, okay, 0:37:33.480 --> 0:37:36.160 Matt says, Deanie Boy recently threw me up on his 0:37:36.200 --> 0:37:38.680 Instagram store while we were in Denver this weekend and said, 0:37:38.680 --> 0:37:41.800 somebody please take Matt Boy on a date. Matt Boy magic, 0:37:41.840 --> 0:37:46.200 I guess is within twenty four hours, over two date 0:37:46.280 --> 0:37:48.439 offers from around the world. Shout out to the bold 0:37:48.520 --> 0:37:50.600 ladies who slid into the d M respect. By the way, 0:37:50.640 --> 0:37:52.919 we really get an email from guys on this show, 0:37:52.960 --> 0:37:56.200 so it's a little interesting to read now. Granted, I 0:37:56.239 --> 0:37:58.280 did say Dean, you're gonna introduce me to your fallows 0:37:58.280 --> 0:37:59.840 and let him and I'm single right that night, but 0:38:00.080 --> 0:38:02.960 fifty percent joking and not expecting this outcome. Now, I've 0:38:02.960 --> 0:38:05.160 got an interesting situation in front of me. Where do 0:38:05.280 --> 0:38:07.839 I start? Do I take any of these seriously? Do 0:38:07.840 --> 0:38:09.600 I actually go on a date with any of these girls? 0:38:09.600 --> 0:38:11.920 Do I capitalize on the opportunity or play it off 0:38:11.960 --> 0:38:15.759 as a joke. So oh, by the way, ps, I 0:38:15.760 --> 0:38:17.759 thought this podcast would be a joke, but y'all kill it. 0:38:17.840 --> 0:38:20.920 Great content, keep it up, yeah, Matt and Denver. So 0:38:21.040 --> 0:38:24.200 the question is when you're faced in a situation. Indean, 0:38:24.239 --> 0:38:25.759 you were single not that long ago, and I know 0:38:25.800 --> 0:38:27.160 you don't like to talk about when you were single, 0:38:27.200 --> 0:38:29.440 because you're in a loving relationship right now and that's awesome, 0:38:30.320 --> 0:38:32.440 But you're in a situation coming off the batchelor where 0:38:32.440 --> 0:38:35.040 you had where we talked about this before. Every woman 0:38:35.080 --> 0:38:36.440 in the world, not every woman in the world, but 0:38:36.520 --> 0:38:38.360 you have so many different people coming at you that 0:38:38.440 --> 0:38:40.359 it seems like it would be paralyzing, like you don't 0:38:40.360 --> 0:38:42.240 know where to begin. It seems like a good situation 0:38:42.280 --> 0:38:45.200 on paper, but in reality it's got to be overwhelming 0:38:45.520 --> 0:38:49.840 and and nothing and hard to handle. So um to 0:38:50.640 --> 0:38:52.799 the first point of this, well, I guess I'm trying 0:38:52.840 --> 0:38:54.200 to figure out how I want to go about answering 0:38:54.239 --> 0:38:58.799 these questions. So to Matt's point quickly to cover that, 0:38:58.880 --> 0:39:01.719 he said he was joking, not expecting this outcome. He 0:39:01.719 --> 0:39:03.640 was a serious about me throwing him up on his 0:39:03.719 --> 0:39:06.360 Instagram story, he like asked me multiple times, and I 0:39:06.400 --> 0:39:10.400 was like, will you please do this? Wait, and so 0:39:10.440 --> 0:39:12.120 I was like, all right, like sure, fine, you're my friend, 0:39:12.280 --> 0:39:14.640 I'll post it and we'll see what happens. He says 0:39:14.680 --> 0:39:19.040 he gets propositions from around the world and that's not 0:39:19.280 --> 0:39:20.920 unique to the people that go on the show, and 0:39:21.000 --> 0:39:22.840 a lot of times I would say more times than not, 0:39:22.920 --> 0:39:25.640 the guys get too excited about that and they tried 0:39:25.719 --> 0:39:28.800 to overcapitalize and so like you just love the attention 0:39:28.880 --> 0:39:31.759 you're getting, like they're responding to every single DM, like 0:39:32.200 --> 0:39:34.279 getting all these dates, and that's where a lot of 0:39:34.280 --> 0:39:36.600 the guys on the show get a bad reputation from 0:39:36.719 --> 0:39:39.160 um My, I think when we talked about this, I 0:39:39.200 --> 0:39:41.680 don't really respond to any d ms, nor would I 0:39:41.719 --> 0:39:43.640 have any interest in going on dates with the people 0:39:43.640 --> 0:39:48.200 that DM me, because that just that it's just weird. 0:39:48.800 --> 0:39:52.520 So to Matt's points, or I guess to his question, 0:39:52.960 --> 0:39:54.400 do they take do you take any of them seriously? 0:39:54.400 --> 0:39:55.920 I think he really wants to be in a relationship 0:39:55.960 --> 0:39:59.080 with someone as well I do. He's a great guy 0:39:59.280 --> 0:40:03.600 and very ready for a relationship. Um twenty four years 0:40:03.640 --> 0:40:05.960 old and living in Denver, So I don't know. I 0:40:05.960 --> 0:40:08.880 think that's I don't mean to take over your podcast, 0:40:08.960 --> 0:40:11.879 but here I feel like that's that's a tough one, 0:40:12.000 --> 0:40:17.480 especially for the women who are messaging him from Brazil, Columbia, whatnot. 0:40:18.120 --> 0:40:20.960 He should look local at who's local? Because I met 0:40:21.520 --> 0:40:24.160 back it was like, excuse me. We talked about how 0:40:24.239 --> 0:40:28.440 single I am every week, like no, no, no, not 0:40:28.520 --> 0:40:30.440 like that. You want to be induced to Mat. No, 0:40:30.560 --> 0:40:32.720 That's what I'm saying. But then it's like he doesn't 0:40:32.760 --> 0:40:35.920 live here, and like, I'm not so sure our value 0:40:35.920 --> 0:40:38.839 is alive. I think he has better values than me. 0:40:38.840 --> 0:40:41.799 I guess he's cute. Yea, he has a big crush 0:40:41.840 --> 0:40:45.960 on Tania. Yeah, mentioned, that's funny. So I guess my advice. 0:40:46.160 --> 0:40:51.360 My advice to Matt is start starting Denver, starting Denver 0:40:51.560 --> 0:40:53.680 and just started conversation right with some Denver women and 0:40:53.680 --> 0:40:56.640 then see what happens. Yeah, maybe something. He doesn't need 0:40:56.680 --> 0:40:58.279 social media to find a date. He should find a 0:40:58.360 --> 0:41:01.040 date through his church. He's like a big and very 0:41:01.040 --> 0:41:02.640 active in the community in that way, like he needs 0:41:02.680 --> 0:41:04.400 to find a good old Catholic girl that wants to 0:41:04.400 --> 0:41:06.560 settle down with him, and you're not one of those, Sully. 0:41:06.760 --> 0:41:12.160 Oh gosh, no, I'm so sorry, world, but I like 0:41:12.320 --> 0:41:14.200 using Deans into Story as a dating app, Like you 0:41:14.200 --> 0:41:17.000 could be the next person I should charge for that. Yeah, 0:41:17.960 --> 0:41:22.040 we'll call it Dean. I just think that I would 0:41:22.160 --> 0:41:25.400 rather have a friend specifically setting like if Dean had 0:41:25.400 --> 0:41:27.160 a friend who he was like, oh my god, he'd 0:41:27.200 --> 0:41:28.960 be great for Erica. That's what I would want. I 0:41:29.000 --> 0:41:32.960 wouldn't want like random yucky dudes sliding into my dams. 0:41:33.480 --> 0:41:35.440 Get the heck out of here. And that same logic 0:41:35.480 --> 0:41:37.960 applies for the opposite sex as well, Like I don't 0:41:37.960 --> 0:41:40.880 want to say random sloppy dudes, random sloppy girl sidding 0:41:40.880 --> 0:41:46.200 into his dams, but but the average woman who might 0:41:46.239 --> 0:41:49.040 be fallow, I don't know, it's different though. Women don't 0:41:49.040 --> 0:41:52.480 want random yucky dudes. Guys occasionally like a random yucky 0:41:52.480 --> 0:41:56.600 girl that's you know, faint some days, that's what they're into. So, Dean, 0:41:56.960 --> 0:41:58.680 what's the rest of your day look like? The rest 0:41:58.680 --> 0:42:00.919 of my day to day the two of you? Oh, well, 0:42:01.080 --> 0:42:02.959 I was supposed to be getting lunch with my former 0:42:03.040 --> 0:42:05.480 boss but he canceled on me, and we're scheduling for tomorrow, 0:42:05.600 --> 0:42:07.840 that jerk. And then we're just gonna go home and 0:42:07.880 --> 0:42:11.480 go back to the gym. We're doing two days morning, right, 0:42:12.680 --> 0:42:15.279 he Dean is Dean's a little weird though he likes 0:42:15.320 --> 0:42:17.400 to go to the Yeah, he likes to go to 0:42:17.440 --> 0:42:20.120 the gym around ten pm, which for me, I'm like 0:42:20.200 --> 0:42:24.160 winding down right because if I'm not using beach body, 0:42:24.200 --> 0:42:26.200 I like to go to the gym when it's less crowded, 0:42:26.719 --> 0:42:28.480 all the machines are free. I don't have to work, 0:42:28.840 --> 0:42:31.160 but I still feel like even eight pm would would 0:42:31.160 --> 0:42:33.080 do that. It's not it's not a gold it's very 0:42:33.080 --> 0:42:35.319 crowd at all the time. You mentioned another show before 0:42:35.320 --> 0:42:36.960 a diet that you're on. Are you still doing that? 0:42:37.080 --> 0:42:38.719 It's not like a diet that I'm on. I'm not. 0:42:39.000 --> 0:42:41.160 I don't eat healthy by any starch of the imagination. 0:42:41.560 --> 0:42:43.600 But one thing that I'm very good at is controlling 0:42:43.600 --> 0:42:45.759 my appetite. I don't have to. I can only eat 0:42:45.760 --> 0:42:47.000 one meal a day if I wanted to. I could 0:42:47.040 --> 0:42:48.560 only eat one meal every two or three days if 0:42:48.600 --> 0:42:51.560 I really wanted to. It poses an interesting um. I 0:42:51.600 --> 0:42:53.759 don't know, not a wrench in our relationship, but I 0:42:53.840 --> 0:42:55.960 like to eat. I don't need. I don't need a 0:42:55.960 --> 0:42:58.359 lot by any any means. But I like to have 0:42:58.400 --> 0:43:01.000 three meals a day breakfast, lunch, and every time we 0:43:01.040 --> 0:43:03.120 eat somewhere or every time you're hunger, we go eat 0:43:03.120 --> 0:43:05.480 somewhere and I eat with you. Yeah, but like I 0:43:05.600 --> 0:43:07.640 knew you didn't want to eat breakfast this morning, even 0:43:07.680 --> 0:43:10.240 after going to the gym, so it was like, okay, 0:43:10.239 --> 0:43:12.080 when are we gonna Is there at least the Starbucks 0:43:12.080 --> 0:43:14.640 around that I can go get something that and of 0:43:14.680 --> 0:43:17.640 course you didn't, you didn't order anything. I just I 0:43:18.000 --> 0:43:21.520 think that the it's it's important to be able to 0:43:21.520 --> 0:43:23.279 control your appetite. I think a lot of times like 0:43:23.320 --> 0:43:25.560 we're we've gotten conditioned to want to eat breakfast, lunch, 0:43:25.560 --> 0:43:28.520 and dinner every single day, but we weren't designed to 0:43:28.600 --> 0:43:31.759 do that as humans. I don't know, this is where 0:43:31.800 --> 0:43:34.520 we differ because we worked out and that's your body 0:43:34.560 --> 0:43:38.520 needs the nutrients to um. I was telling Lessie this 0:43:38.560 --> 0:43:40.160 earlier on the way because she we were actually having 0:43:40.160 --> 0:43:41.719 this conversation as we were walking up the stairs in 0:43:41.760 --> 0:43:44.040 the studio here. UM, and I was like, think about 0:43:44.040 --> 0:43:45.719 your body as like an engine to a car. The 0:43:45.760 --> 0:43:47.799 more miles you put on that engine, the more likely 0:43:47.840 --> 0:43:50.279 it is to break down. The more you can think 0:43:50.320 --> 0:43:52.600 of your digestive system as that engine, So the more 0:43:52.920 --> 0:43:56.880 food you're ingesting and then digesting pushing out, that's going 0:43:56.920 --> 0:43:59.439 to be putting more miles on your digestive system, which 0:43:59.480 --> 0:44:01.960 then tires it out quicker. I don't know your heart 0:44:01.960 --> 0:44:04.759 beats every how many beats a minute? I don't that 0:44:05.120 --> 0:44:06.839 never tires out. I'm not talking about your heart. I'm 0:44:06.840 --> 0:44:08.839 talking about like your I don't, but I don't think 0:44:08.880 --> 0:44:11.200 that's a bad thing for it to be working every day. 0:44:11.280 --> 0:44:13.640 That's a design force. You use something, the longer it's 0:44:13.640 --> 0:44:16.880 gonna last. You're talking system. That's just one part of 0:44:16.880 --> 0:44:19.880 your body. I'm just saying in general, and anything outside 0:44:19.880 --> 0:44:21.560 of your body, inside your body, the less you use something, 0:44:21.600 --> 0:44:23.399 the longer it's gonna last. Unless you drive a car, 0:44:23.760 --> 0:44:25.600 the more years you're going to be able to drive 0:44:25.640 --> 0:44:27.560 that car. Do you hold your breath for a certain 0:44:27.560 --> 0:44:29.640 amount of day to keep your lungs and good shape. 0:44:30.080 --> 0:44:32.720 I should start, maybe, but then you're probably brain of oxygen, 0:44:32.760 --> 0:44:36.400 and there's a more dilemma there. I'm just saying, we 0:44:36.440 --> 0:44:40.399 need to get a doctor going with you. So there's 0:44:40.440 --> 0:44:42.520 certain days of the week you don't eat now. I 0:44:42.560 --> 0:44:44.640 mean there were days before. It was much easier when 0:44:44.640 --> 0:44:46.239 I had a structured life of going to my office 0:44:46.280 --> 0:44:48.000 from Monday to Friday, from nine to five, and I 0:44:48.040 --> 0:44:51.640 could control my eating habits more clearly when my days 0:44:51.640 --> 0:44:53.440 were more defined. But now it's like I do more 0:44:53.520 --> 0:44:56.560 random things, and so I eat more random hours more 0:44:56.600 --> 0:44:59.000 I have like a lot more ability to eat whenever 0:44:59.040 --> 0:45:01.439 I want to for a new and a girlfriend likes 0:45:01.440 --> 0:45:04.640 to eat um, So if it were up to me, 0:45:04.719 --> 0:45:06.839 I wouldn't eat very often. But because less he's around 0:45:06.880 --> 0:45:08.800 a lot, I eat maybe like more often than I 0:45:08.840 --> 0:45:10.160 would normally. And I eat a lot of her food 0:45:10.160 --> 0:45:11.600 because she only eats like half of her plate, which 0:45:11.600 --> 0:45:13.399 I actually really enjoy. That's the thing, Like I can 0:45:13.400 --> 0:45:16.480 sit down and eat one and a half meals. But 0:45:16.560 --> 0:45:18.160 I just wouldn't do that if it were up to like, 0:45:18.200 --> 0:45:20.480 if I if I were acting for myself. When you 0:45:20.560 --> 0:45:23.080 do eat, do you eat healthy? To eat poorly because 0:45:23.280 --> 0:45:25.640 you feel like you have all these free calories you 0:45:25.680 --> 0:45:27.840 can have because you haven't. It's like a mixture. I 0:45:27.840 --> 0:45:29.840 would say one out of every like four meals is healthy, 0:45:31.000 --> 0:45:33.480 just just for sake of knowing that I need to 0:45:33.480 --> 0:45:35.319 get greens in me every once in a while, like 0:45:35.640 --> 0:45:39.160 two meals a week. Then by doing the math. Okay, yeah, 0:45:40.040 --> 0:45:42.440 you love your Cheetos and you love your cheeto. We 0:45:42.440 --> 0:45:44.319 were in the airport yesterday and you got shremboli, and 0:45:44.360 --> 0:45:47.759 I walked over and got a veggie wrap because I 0:45:47.800 --> 0:45:51.360 know the travel Life bagel well, but it had hummus 0:45:51.400 --> 0:45:54.520 and veggies inside it, and you ate like you ate pizza. 0:45:55.160 --> 0:45:57.359 And there is something to be said. The less you eat, 0:45:57.400 --> 0:45:59.520 the more unhealthy you can eat. You can you can 0:45:59.560 --> 0:46:03.319 eat a hundred calorie strong bold. I have heard this 0:46:03.360 --> 0:46:05.399 theory if it's the only thing you eat the entire day. 0:46:05.560 --> 0:46:08.600 I used to work forgotten Rick D's his birthday is tomorrow, 0:46:09.360 --> 0:46:12.720 uh and he he how did the five bite diet? 0:46:13.520 --> 0:46:16.160 For every meal you eat five bytes of whatever you want. 0:46:16.239 --> 0:46:18.080 It could be broccoli, it could be a Snicker's bar, 0:46:18.160 --> 0:46:19.840 but it doesn't matter because it all turns to sugar 0:46:19.880 --> 0:46:21.919 anyway once it's on the inside. He was a strong 0:46:21.960 --> 0:46:23.960 proponent of this. I was not. I think it's weird, 0:46:24.080 --> 0:46:26.359 but I think that's the same as you're. What you're 0:46:26.400 --> 0:46:28.160 saying is you have so many calories a day can 0:46:28.200 --> 0:46:29.840 be whatever you wanted to right, And the only the 0:46:30.160 --> 0:46:32.080 way that you lose weight isn't by eating healthy. You 0:46:32.080 --> 0:46:34.360 could eat five thousand calories a day of all vegetables 0:46:34.360 --> 0:46:36.160 and all healthy food, and you'll still gain weight. The 0:46:36.160 --> 0:46:38.360 way to lose weight is to be calorie deficient. So 0:46:38.400 --> 0:46:41.400 if you burn fifteen hundred calories and you only consume 0:46:41.440 --> 0:46:44.080 a thousand calories. That's a calorie deficient day, which means 0:46:44.080 --> 0:46:45.959 you lost weight that day. So if you can eat 0:46:46.120 --> 0:46:48.839 one meal that's a thousand calories, but you burn fift ndred, 0:46:49.280 --> 0:46:51.520 you're you're losing even no matter what the meal is, 0:46:51.600 --> 0:46:55.960 you're still five hundred calorie deficient. Right. That's kind of 0:46:55.960 --> 0:46:58.520 the diet I did before going on The Bachelor. Actually 0:46:58.560 --> 0:47:00.839 I did the It wasn't the five bite diet. It 0:47:00.920 --> 0:47:04.000 was maybe like the Tin Bye fifty diet where I 0:47:04.040 --> 0:47:07.520 just had everything um and worked out and it worked 0:47:07.560 --> 0:47:09.920 for me. It is this calories in, calories out. But 0:47:09.920 --> 0:47:12.160 if you're treating your body like a car or machine, 0:47:12.640 --> 0:47:15.440 you're giving it Cheetos, Like, isn't that just putting junk 0:47:15.480 --> 0:47:17.360 in your gas tanks? Okay, we all do things that 0:47:17.360 --> 0:47:20.799 were afflicted by I'm sure you don't have the most 0:47:21.239 --> 0:47:24.240 picture perfect diet, right, not always no, but I'm also 0:47:24.280 --> 0:47:27.000 not don't subscribe to some of your interesting theories. It's 0:47:27.000 --> 0:47:28.840 it is funny. I was I was having a conversation 0:47:28.840 --> 0:47:31.640 with someone about this the other day, Um, about how 0:47:31.680 --> 0:47:34.040 we do so many things to like be healthier and 0:47:34.080 --> 0:47:35.799 be better and do all these things, and then at 0:47:35.800 --> 0:47:37.239 the same time, we still do so many things that 0:47:37.280 --> 0:47:38.840 are bad for us. I think I was talking to 0:47:38.880 --> 0:47:40.600 someone that drinks diet pepsi or something like that, and 0:47:40.600 --> 0:47:42.319 I was like, well, do you pepsi? She's like, well, 0:47:42.520 --> 0:47:44.160 because it's better for me. I's like, we had still 0:47:44.280 --> 0:47:47.759 bad for you. Um, And so, like, no one is 0:47:47.760 --> 0:47:51.600 going to live like perfectly in that sense. It's all 0:47:51.600 --> 0:47:54.240 about finding the means that you have. And it's funny. 0:47:54.239 --> 0:47:55.600 It's too because a lot of people, when I talked 0:47:55.600 --> 0:47:56.920 to tell them, like, I don't use soap, or I 0:47:56.920 --> 0:47:59.560 don't use any like these these external products. I forgot 0:47:59.560 --> 0:48:02.360 about that. They're like, oh, tell me about that tattoo 0:48:02.400 --> 0:48:04.479 you just got where they stuck ink into your skin 0:48:04.920 --> 0:48:07.560 and you have to pick and choose your battery. We 0:48:07.600 --> 0:48:09.520 all have these cellphone stuctriers all the time. We're all 0:48:09.560 --> 0:48:11.120 going to get cancer from that. So, yeah, I see 0:48:11.160 --> 0:48:13.160 what you're saying. That is a it's a balance, and 0:48:13.320 --> 0:48:14.680 you've got to find a balance you can live with. 0:48:14.800 --> 0:48:16.759 And here's the thing. I know, it's weird. I know what. 0:48:16.840 --> 0:48:20.240 Everything about me is incredibly weird. I'm the first person 0:48:20.280 --> 0:48:23.200 to admit that, like, nothing about me is normal. In 0:48:23.239 --> 0:48:27.080 a lot of those ways, But that's fine. Like I'm 0:48:27.080 --> 0:48:29.560 not I'm not pretending to be normal. I'm not pretending 0:48:29.600 --> 0:48:30.960 to be like a person who eats three meals there, 0:48:30.960 --> 0:48:34.480 and you're very outpouring with your weirdness and your extreme viewpoints. 0:48:34.560 --> 0:48:38.600 And they're unique and some people take them, some people 0:48:38.640 --> 0:48:40.399 leave them. But that's a fun topic that we could 0:48:40.400 --> 0:48:42.560 do some days. What makes you weird? Because everybody has 0:48:42.600 --> 0:48:44.560 a thing that makes them weird. Like I, when I'm 0:48:44.600 --> 0:48:47.920 in bed, I can't have my knees touch you. Put 0:48:47.920 --> 0:48:49.840 a pillow between the pillow between my legs because I 0:48:49.880 --> 0:48:51.680 can't do what. It drives me crazy. No body part 0:48:51.719 --> 0:48:54.040 can touch any other body part ever, and it bothers me. 0:48:54.360 --> 0:48:56.640 Like your feet, you're just like staggerum No, but blanket 0:48:56.640 --> 0:48:58.920 between my feet? Uh. And and later years later, I 0:48:58.920 --> 0:49:00.839 found out my sister is the exact same way, which 0:49:00.880 --> 0:49:04.359 surprised me. Like she will literally put something between her 0:49:04.400 --> 0:49:06.359 breast when she sleeps because she can't have her boob 0:49:06.400 --> 0:49:08.879 touch you, just like I am with my knees. So 0:49:09.040 --> 0:49:11.440 that's an interesting thing in our family. I'm so intrigued 0:49:11.440 --> 0:49:14.360 as to what she puts between there. They make question 0:49:14.440 --> 0:49:16.359 there are people like this, so they make things. They 0:49:16.360 --> 0:49:21.640 make like a little thing you can put in there. Okay, 0:49:21.680 --> 0:49:25.320 so Leslie, Erica, what makes you weird? What is and 0:49:25.400 --> 0:49:27.280 doesn't have to be in bad doesn't have to be dietary. 0:49:27.360 --> 0:49:29.560 Just there's got to be something some routine you do 0:49:29.600 --> 0:49:32.120 on a regular basis that you know is silly, but 0:49:32.200 --> 0:49:34.640 you do it anyway. I have to uncross my legs 0:49:34.680 --> 0:49:37.560 before touchdown in an airplane, which seems like almost every 0:49:37.640 --> 0:49:40.160 day or weekly, and then that might not be so weird, 0:49:40.280 --> 0:49:43.960 but that's interesting. It weirds me out that if we crash, 0:49:44.200 --> 0:49:46.840 I want to be in like the perfect position to live. 0:49:47.560 --> 0:49:50.319 You know that's smart. I don't want I don't want 0:49:50.520 --> 0:49:54.280 my head to hit my knees or whatever. So I'm 0:49:54.320 --> 0:49:58.240 I'm all in crossed and uh and ready to ready 0:49:58.239 --> 0:50:01.160 for back. But that's a good superstitions fallow to this category, Erica. 0:50:01.480 --> 0:50:05.160 I will have to come back on this. I know superstitions. No, 0:50:06.200 --> 0:50:09.400 I'm a pretty like wake up and like I don't know, 0:50:09.520 --> 0:50:12.400 get to work somehow and like your bedrooms a mess 0:50:13.160 --> 0:50:16.160 a freaking design. Refused to hang anything up in the closet. 0:50:16.400 --> 0:50:18.600 This is rude. You've never betted. I'm just trying to 0:50:18.640 --> 0:50:20.239 think of the things that might make you weird. You 0:50:20.320 --> 0:50:22.000 lay in bed and drink beer while you watch this 0:50:22.080 --> 0:50:26.719 is us. No, No, this is a one time situation. 0:50:27.360 --> 0:50:30.120 I had a beer in my fridge and I drank 0:50:30.120 --> 0:50:32.040 it because I didn't have wine, and I was watching 0:50:32.080 --> 0:50:36.200 this like this literally happened one time, and he brings 0:50:36.239 --> 0:50:40.520 this up almost every day. I don't usually drink beer 0:50:40.640 --> 0:50:46.960 in bed, sir, Okay, I will think, on my are 0:50:46.960 --> 0:50:49.520 you saying this weird O c D thing? Where? Um, 0:50:49.840 --> 0:50:51.759 Like if I was like walking through a gate or something, 0:50:51.800 --> 0:50:53.520 and I didn't fully like close the gate, and I 0:50:53.560 --> 0:50:55.880 walked like even like fifty yards away, and I was like, 0:50:56.040 --> 0:50:57.680 I can't close that gate all the way. I really 0:50:57.680 --> 0:51:00.000 would have to turn around, go back, like open the gate, 0:51:00.040 --> 0:51:01.359 and then close the gate all the way and then 0:51:01.520 --> 0:51:03.640 I would be comfortable like with that enough to move on. 0:51:03.680 --> 0:51:05.239 It was like a weird like like legitimate O c 0:51:05.360 --> 0:51:07.160 D for a long time. Or like if I like 0:51:07.239 --> 0:51:10.200 was walking and I saw like a piece of trash 0:51:10.280 --> 0:51:12.319 on the sidewalk and I walked past it like fifty 0:51:12.400 --> 0:51:13.680 yards and I had just like I would stop in 0:51:13.719 --> 0:51:15.640 my tracks and be like, darna, I have to turn 0:51:15.680 --> 0:51:16.960 around and go pick up that piece of trash and 0:51:16.960 --> 0:51:18.640 throw it away now. And a lot of it was 0:51:18.680 --> 0:51:21.000 like because I was like thinking that the things that 0:51:21.040 --> 0:51:22.919 I were doing like leading to better karma or something. 0:51:22.920 --> 0:51:25.560 When it's funny because if you act intentionally to have 0:51:25.640 --> 0:51:29.279 better karma, that's not what karma is. You know, you 0:51:29.280 --> 0:51:32.319 can't intentionally improve your karma. And my brother made mention 0:51:32.360 --> 0:51:33.759 of that at one point, and I was like, yeah, 0:51:33.800 --> 0:51:35.520 you're right, this is really weird. But I like, I 0:51:35.560 --> 0:51:38.120 wasn't able to get past it for a long time. Um, 0:51:38.160 --> 0:51:40.720 and that that doesn't happen anymore. CD is an interesting 0:51:40.719 --> 0:51:42.920 thing is I think everybody has it to some degree. 0:51:43.160 --> 0:51:45.399 What is that? Beef's this thing? It's fine, it's off. 0:51:47.200 --> 0:51:48.880 O c D is interesting because I think everyone has 0:51:48.920 --> 0:51:53.359 it to some degree, and I think you catch yourself like, oh, yeah, 0:51:53.200 --> 0:51:54.400 we don't want to do I don't want to go 0:51:54.400 --> 0:51:56.040 back and do that again, because then I am doing 0:51:56.040 --> 0:51:58.400 an O c D thing and you can stop yourself. 0:51:58.400 --> 0:52:00.640 And when you can't stop yourself, that's when you need 0:52:00.680 --> 0:52:03.000 help to fix the O c D. Yeah, but unfascinated 0:52:03.000 --> 0:52:05.239 by I wonder if that's genetic at all, because I 0:52:05.239 --> 0:52:08.759 remember when we were driving with Brad last weekend in Colorado, 0:52:08.800 --> 0:52:11.359 and he was like, Oh, this their gas tank because 0:52:11.360 --> 0:52:13.680 it is open, and it's just it's annoying me so badly. 0:52:14.040 --> 0:52:16.200 I feel like maybe it runs in the family. Maybe 0:52:16.200 --> 0:52:17.360 I used to do this thing too when I was 0:52:17.400 --> 0:52:20.000 probably twelve or thirteen, where if I was like sitting 0:52:20.000 --> 0:52:22.480 there like quietly, like watching TV or something, I would 0:52:22.480 --> 0:52:24.600 have to like make weird noises with my throat because 0:52:24.600 --> 0:52:26.719 I couldn't like sit quietly long enough. I would literally 0:52:26.840 --> 0:52:32.880 I would do that, like and like whenever I got 0:52:32.960 --> 0:52:34.440 quiet in the room, my brother would hear me do 0:52:34.480 --> 0:52:36.360 that and be like, what the hell are you doing. 0:52:36.640 --> 0:52:38.560 I'm like, I don't know, Like I literally just I 0:52:38.640 --> 0:52:41.520 need to do it for my own comfortability. And like 0:52:41.560 --> 0:52:43.439 I moved away from a lot of those things, which 0:52:43.480 --> 0:52:45.600 is great, but I'm sure that I still have things 0:52:45.640 --> 0:52:47.919 maybe now that I don't realize that I'm doing. There's 0:52:47.920 --> 0:52:53.720 a lot of bizarre like that's that's what it's like, wow, 0:52:54.440 --> 0:52:57.520 And to fill the silence to feel good, like otherwise 0:52:57.560 --> 0:52:59.839 I was incredibly anxious and I would go and then 0:53:00.000 --> 0:53:05.160 wouldn't bet that it's kind of cute, Yeah, Eastern, go ahead, 0:53:05.160 --> 0:53:07.880 what makes you weird. I just wanted this out there. Um. 0:53:07.880 --> 0:53:09.680 From the years of two thousand and six to two 0:53:09.680 --> 0:53:12.840 thousand sixteen, I wore all blue every single Tuesday. It 0:53:12.920 --> 0:53:16.920 was called blue Tuesday, doing it to annoy a girlfriend 0:53:16.920 --> 0:53:19.880 when I was a senior in high school, and I 0:53:19.880 --> 0:53:21.920 said I will do this for ten years and then 0:53:21.960 --> 0:53:25.840 I will stop. In April one, sixteen, I retired it 0:53:25.840 --> 0:53:29.560 and it was kind of sad. It was wow, that 0:53:29.719 --> 0:53:33.759 is wild. It was a prison like I would have 0:53:33.800 --> 0:53:36.719 to plan everything around it. Like I got a job 0:53:36.719 --> 0:53:38.399 at an amusement park and I had to make sure 0:53:38.440 --> 0:53:40.880 I worked as a right operator because that uniform was 0:53:40.920 --> 0:53:43.879 blue like that. I seriously needed help for that one. 0:53:44.800 --> 0:53:46.640 I remember the day he retired at you told me 0:53:46.960 --> 0:53:49.040 today it's Tuesday. I'm not wearing blue, and I love it. 0:53:52.080 --> 0:53:53.880 And you know that you did that for a decade. 0:53:54.640 --> 0:53:57.240 I would run into it like years later and she'd 0:53:57.239 --> 0:54:01.880 see me and feel like, you're wearing all It's Tuesday. 0:54:02.840 --> 0:54:04.000 I don't think she knows I did it for a 0:54:04.000 --> 0:54:09.480 full decade. Janine Bray for listening. That is so interesting. 0:54:09.480 --> 0:54:10.799 You know what you know when you're in a group 0:54:10.840 --> 0:54:13.000 of people, like at a retreat or whatever it may be, 0:54:13.160 --> 0:54:15.359 and they're like, all right, let's go around the room 0:54:15.400 --> 0:54:17.600 and name something that nobody else knows about you. That 0:54:17.840 --> 0:54:21.680 is the best answer ever. It's a good one. Those 0:54:21.719 --> 0:54:23.840 are always the hardest questions, remember using I have to 0:54:23.880 --> 0:54:25.759 use to do that at like new offices or new 0:54:25.840 --> 0:54:27.600 jobs and every sort. Like, what's one thing though us 0:54:27.600 --> 0:54:30.640 know about you? It's hard. I don't know. And if 0:54:30.640 --> 0:54:32.120 they if you don't know what I mean, it's probably 0:54:32.120 --> 0:54:33.520 because I don't want you to know it about me. 0:54:33.880 --> 0:54:36.520 That's that's true. I feel like everybody, I can't ask 0:54:36.560 --> 0:54:38.319 you that there right now because everybody knows. You've had 0:54:38.320 --> 0:54:41.560 your podcast for X amount of months now, everybody knows 0:54:41.600 --> 0:54:43.399 a lot about you. There are some things that people 0:54:43.440 --> 0:54:45.000 don't know about me, But do you not want them 0:54:45.040 --> 0:54:49.960 to know? Okay, bye? Today I learn you make weird sounds. 0:54:48.640 --> 0:54:52.640 That is a good one. The very first night that 0:54:52.719 --> 0:54:55.280 listen I spent together off camera, I told her my deepest, 0:54:55.400 --> 0:54:57.720 darkest secret. That's true, but I'm gonna leave that between 0:54:57.719 --> 0:55:04.840 me and you. So that's something that will never be 0:55:04.880 --> 0:55:08.239 on the podcast. That one absolutely well, probably not. I 0:55:08.280 --> 0:55:10.640 don't know. I mean, it's up to you, but we 0:55:10.719 --> 0:55:12.560 do a hundred. It will be the hundred episode. We'll 0:55:12.560 --> 0:55:21.720 do that, I think. Okay, So thank you for listening 0:55:21.719 --> 0:55:24.640 to the twenty three episode of Help I Suck at Dating. 0:55:24.960 --> 0:55:27.239 Be sure to keep those emails coming again. The email 0:55:27.239 --> 0:55:30.000 address is I Suck at Dating at iHeart media dot com. 0:55:30.040 --> 0:55:32.239 I wish I could express fully how much I enjoy you, 0:55:32.239 --> 0:55:34.640 guys emailing in UM A lot of these questions and 0:55:35.120 --> 0:55:37.520 situations that you have that you deal with, because it's 0:55:37.600 --> 0:55:39.719 nice to know that, you know, even if you don't 0:55:39.800 --> 0:55:41.320 take the advice that we give you, it's nice to 0:55:41.320 --> 0:55:44.440 know that people are at least um inquiring and hoping 0:55:44.480 --> 0:55:46.719 to do better with all that kind of stuff. Big 0:55:46.760 --> 0:55:48.719 thank you to Leslie and Murphy, who I'm sure you'll 0:55:48.719 --> 0:55:51.120 hear again on this podcast. All thanks guys. Round three 0:55:51.160 --> 0:55:53.319 was just as fun as round one. Round three. I 0:55:53.360 --> 0:55:54.920 will close round two and a half because I think 0:55:54.920 --> 0:55:56.799 the first one was a half round and then you 0:55:56.840 --> 0:55:59.600 were finally kind of you know, Erica, anything on Facebook? Yet? 0:56:00.560 --> 0:56:03.080 One last check before we go with a good doctor 0:56:04.640 --> 0:56:07.600 quote a TV show. Um, it's not looking like it, 0:56:07.640 --> 0:56:11.840 I think, Nope, guys, it's fine. It's the middle of 0:56:11.840 --> 0:56:14.040 the day. He should be at work. He should be 0:56:14.080 --> 0:56:16.480 at work, but that'll do it for this week's episode 0:56:16.480 --> 0:56:18.000 to Help I Suck at Dating. Be sure to tune 0:56:18.000 --> 0:56:20.759 in next week, because maybe next week Eric is dating 0:56:20.760 --> 0:56:24.680 life will suck a little bit. Follow Help I Suck 0:56:24.719 --> 0:56:27.560 At Dating with Dean Anglert on I Heart Radio or 0:56:27.600 --> 0:56:29.840 subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.