Speaker 1: Help I Suck At Dating with Dean Angler and I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio Podcast. Hello, Hello, thank you so much for
Speaker 1: coming back for another episode of Help I Suck At Dating.
Speaker 1: This is your host, Dean Anglert. I'm joined in studio
Speaker 1: by the Three Musketeers Easton, Mark and Erica and one
Speaker 1: other lovely special guest today, Leslie and Murphy my wonderful girl. Hello,
Speaker 1: Hello everybody. I convinced her to come back two round
Speaker 1: two of X because we're not sure how often she's
Speaker 1: gonna be here, but whenever she's in town, she's probably
Speaker 1: gonna be here, and we're probably gonna be talking about
Speaker 1: a bunch of funs. Technically round show. Before we were
Speaker 1: talking about you when you left the room doing you
Speaker 1: went to the bathroom would you were talking about how
Speaker 1: you're really good at this podcasting, but you don't believe
Speaker 1: that you're good at this podcast thing. Believe believe. I
Speaker 1: don't really think I'm good at anything. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Then this is what I have to deal with on
Speaker 1: a daily basis. So what are you good at? I
Speaker 1: don't think I'm going at so many things. We were
Speaker 1: at breakfast with your dad yesterday and he was like,
Speaker 1: what are you going on and You're like, oh, I
Speaker 1: guess not much. And I was like, no, you have
Speaker 1: a clothing line, you have a podcast. Let me answer
Speaker 1: for you. That's a lot of stuff. Well, those are
Speaker 1: two things. I feel like I could be doing a
Speaker 1: clothing line. Like Seacraft has a clothing line. That's a
Speaker 1: big deal. Ryan Seacrest distinction, that's it. Shout out, shout out.
Speaker 1: He gave me a suit jack mental law that for
Speaker 1: reasons I should not know that. Well, I mean you
Speaker 1: work with Amy, who works with Yeah, sure we'll go
Speaker 1: with that. So what are we talking about this week?
Speaker 1: Erica has a dilemma. But I think you might be able,
Speaker 1: the two of you might be able to both of you.
Speaker 1: And this is serious. She really feels there's something here
Speaker 1: that you'd like to pursue. She's not sure how to
Speaker 1: go about it. Erica, UM, so I have a very
Speaker 1: attractive I keep calling him my dentist, but he's actually
Speaker 1: like a uh, what's the word oral surgeon Chris Stranburg. No,
Speaker 1: oh is that the cupcake? Yeah? No, um, not my type. Um.
Speaker 1: And I went to him probably like a year and
Speaker 1: a half ago. I had to get a root and
Speaker 1: all of all things to have to go worst. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I got a bad one and then this guy
Speaker 1: had to fix it. And like there's nothing worse than
Speaker 1: laying there in the dentist chair and he was like
Speaker 1: his hands in your mouth and you're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: this man is so beautiful. Um. And I've had to
Speaker 1: go back twice, and every time I go back, like
Speaker 1: there's definite flirtation between us. But I used to think
Speaker 1: he was like forty years old. Turns out Facebook stim
Speaker 1: he's only thirty two and I'm almost so that's a
Speaker 1: fillable gap. Yeah, I definitely thought that was um. But
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do because technically my last
Speaker 1: appointment last week was like the last time. If we
Speaker 1: need to get you another root canal facts, I need
Speaker 1: to break it to start eating a bunch of sugar.
Speaker 1: That's what someone else told me to do. But you
Speaker 1: said there was legit sexual tension between the two of you.
Speaker 1: I mean it was thick and you could cut it
Speaker 1: with an life. I don't know what else to say.
Speaker 1: It's like he always like walks me out of the
Speaker 1: room and I feel like and then like waits at
Speaker 1: the desk while I make my next appointment. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: why are you standing here with me? He's lingering yet
Speaker 1: lingering for sure he's single? You we are sure he's
Speaker 1: not married. Okay, so you're Gray's Anatomy fan? Right? Was
Speaker 1: the Gray's Anatomy. I've only seen two GRADESA episodes in
Speaker 1: my entire life. One of them there was his fire
Speaker 1: at a coffee shop. And I don't mean to deflate
Speaker 1: your bubble. There was a fire at a coffee shop
Speaker 1: and like every there was like three people that got
Speaker 1: rushed to the hospital. One of them was the barristo.
Speaker 1: One of them was a general, like a guy that
Speaker 1: goes every single day. And the guy goes, I just
Speaker 1: want to make sure, like Michelle's okay, Like she always
Speaker 1: puts foam heart foam hearts to my latte, and like
Speaker 1: she clearly has like a crush on me, and very
Speaker 1: there's very visible chemistry. And then that cuts over to
Speaker 1: her and they're like, yeah, there, your boyfriend wants to
Speaker 1: know if you're okay, and she's like, who's my boyfriend?
Speaker 1: And she's like, I've never met this guy in my
Speaker 1: entire life. So maybe this doctor is just doing his diligence.
Speaker 1: Maybe he's just doing his due diligence to like walk
Speaker 1: you out and like be charismatic. I don't know. I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't obviously don't know firsthand. I just wanted to
Speaker 1: like bring right down the earth first. But then, but
Speaker 1: now let's talk about it, because I think that you
Speaker 1: should definitely go for it, and I think that you
Speaker 1: should call him now in that photo, oh no, he
Speaker 1: is very charming, like you know, like in Scrubs with
Speaker 1: his hands. Yeah. Did you have to have Nitris when
Speaker 1: you got your root? Now? Is that like laughing gas?
Speaker 1: Like happy gas? But I was all numbed up and
Speaker 1: then I had to take advil and I like turned
Speaker 1: around because I wasn't gonna dribble down myself in front
Speaker 1: of him, and he's like uh uh, and he made
Speaker 1: me like do it in front. We're like cracking up.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, okay, Well, when I got my wisdom
Speaker 1: teeth out years ago, I was like high on Nitris
Speaker 1: and my doctor was so so cute and so out
Speaker 1: came you know, my emotions, and I was like can
Speaker 1: we go on a date? And he was much older
Speaker 1: than me. It just didn't work out. But I feel
Speaker 1: in response to the question, did he say yes, he
Speaker 1: was kind of just laughed it off. I think I
Speaker 1: was was young at the time. They also know you're like, hi, exactly,
Speaker 1: You're just gonna say anything that comes to your mind.
Speaker 1: But I feel like this could be well I do
Speaker 1: need my wisdom teeth though, perfect So like, do I
Speaker 1: go to this guy and like, does he follow you
Speaker 1: on Instagram? Do you follow him on Instagram? I couldn't
Speaker 1: find him. Yeah, post The first trap was that you're
Speaker 1: going to post anything. But if you guys follow each other,
Speaker 1: then that would be a definite What why would my
Speaker 1: dental surgeon or my oral surgeon follow me on Instagram?
Speaker 1: Because you're talking about the sexual chemistry that you can
Speaker 1: cut with a knife. Yes, if you have that type
Speaker 1: of chemistry with someone, you followed him on Instagram. Okay,
Speaker 1: well I couldn't find him. I don't think he has
Speaker 1: an Instagram. Maybe he doesn't. The answer is not getting
Speaker 1: you wisdom teeth because that continues the professional relationship. We
Speaker 1: do something to destroy the professional relationship and bring it
Speaker 1: to a personal relationship because if you continue to be
Speaker 1: as patient, he will not go out with you. Right,
Speaker 1: that's the problem. Do you have to end that and
Speaker 1: figure it out. So how does she? Could she reach
Speaker 1: out to him? Could she leave him a note? Could
Speaker 1: shed down on social media? Because he does have a Facebook. Okay,
Speaker 1: do you have a Facebook? Yeah? Like, who doesn't have
Speaker 1: a Facebook? Okay, Eastern is raising doesn't have a Facebook.
Speaker 1: I have a faceback. Here's what you do. You're going
Speaker 1: to get a big bag of lollipops. You're gonna walk
Speaker 1: it over to his practice, and you're gonna be like, listen, buddy,
Speaker 1: I'm sure you've got a bunch of lollipops to give
Speaker 1: out because you're dentists, and that's what dentists do to
Speaker 1: the patients after they're done servicing. Yeah, the points. And
Speaker 1: then I'm here, I got a question for you, Buster.
Speaker 1: I'm going to ask you out on a date. Let's
Speaker 1: go get a coffee right now. I don't know, these
Speaker 1: are all like what you just said, everything was an
Speaker 1: off life. And make sure you call him Buster, calling
Speaker 1: him Buster bringing a dentist lollipops answering, Let's get coffee
Speaker 1: right now. I'm sure you're not busy. Don't you have
Speaker 1: better advice? I don't know. I think um, in an
Speaker 1: effort to break down gender norms, you should make the
Speaker 1: first move. And I don't know if that's reaching out
Speaker 1: on Facebook. I guess it's probably on Facebook, because how
Speaker 1: else are you? I mean, I don't know. Can you
Speaker 1: could call the office, you could send him something to
Speaker 1: the office. I can speak from experience sort of. Okay,
Speaker 1: your first of all an oral surgeon, so comes in.
Speaker 1: I was a bellman at a hotel in college for
Speaker 1: five years. I went to college for five years before
Speaker 1: and a half years. Actually, mind you, um, don't hold
Speaker 1: that against me. There was one time I've only one
Speaker 1: on one date with ever was she's like a guest
Speaker 1: of the hotel or something, but her family was there
Speaker 1: for a wedding party, and she ended up asking me
Speaker 1: to the wedding party as her date. Breaking down the
Speaker 1: dentist uh patient barriers in this case the bellman guest barriers.
Speaker 1: But it's a very doable thing. You just need to
Speaker 1: be very outright and honest about the way that you
Speaker 1: feel and your intentions. Yeah. The only problem is, like
Speaker 1: when you're a patient of someone, there's like legal issue.
Speaker 1: I think they're legally there's a million dentists. He's an
Speaker 1: oral surgeon, you don't he did ask me the last
Speaker 1: time I was leaving, He's like, well, like, are you
Speaker 1: getting any more worked on? And then I told him
Speaker 1: about the time that I bit on a rock and
Speaker 1: I broke my tooth and he's told me not to
Speaker 1: eat rocks. It's been like, it's been a lot. I've
Speaker 1: been thinking about this a lot. I'm gonna go ahead
Speaker 1: and just put it out there. That sounds like a
Speaker 1: very standard question the world surgeon should ask a patient
Speaker 1: after he's done working on that. True, it was. I
Speaker 1: just don't want you to read too much into this.
Speaker 1: What about you? And I want to make sure that
Speaker 1: you're not setting yourself up to be disappointed days Something
Speaker 1: subtle like um as requesting to be his friend on Facebook,
Speaker 1: like so formal. No, I think that's the start. It's
Speaker 1: a good first step. I think so too. I think
Speaker 1: it's non confrontational. It's you're dropping the handkerchief as we've
Speaker 1: as we've referred to before. We'll see if he picks
Speaker 1: it up right. The digital I don't think that's cringe
Speaker 1: worthy at all. M he doesn't have an I feel
Speaker 1: like Instagram might be better, but he doesn't seem to
Speaker 1: have is like ideal, but I can't find him or Twitter.
Speaker 1: I haven't searched him on Twitter. Following on Twitter he
Speaker 1: would even notice, yeah, like on Twitter, and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't think I don't think you should follow the Twitter.
Speaker 1: I think the Facebook friend request him. Um, okay, start
Speaker 1: liking some pictures casually, maybe like start doing like a
Speaker 1: reactions to pictures instead of the life first to request,
Speaker 1: which would be a great sign if he did that, right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I can't remember the last time I proved a friend
Speaker 1: request on Facebook. It's been I've got I think slightly
Speaker 1: different life. I approved tonight. Whatever happened to Shorty short face? Okay, great,
Speaker 1: I'm glad you brought this first of all, that's not
Speaker 1: what we call him. Who is this? Sure McGhee, Thank you.
Speaker 1: This was a guy from Bumble who I was talking
Speaker 1: to for like six weeks and then I was like, Hey,
Speaker 1: my sister is going to be in San Diego, so
Speaker 1: I'll come down. Because he lived in San Diego and
Speaker 1: Erica lives in Los Angeles, which is going to be
Speaker 1: a hurdle, but she was open to going down. That
Speaker 1: wasn't a big deal to me. And the reason we
Speaker 1: called him short McGhee, if I may, it's because she
Speaker 1: was very concerned from his pictures that he was short.
Speaker 1: We analyzed them, we decided I don't think he is
Speaker 1: because he seems to be the same size of the
Speaker 1: other people he's hanging out with. But but Dean wanted
Speaker 1: to point out that he was not tall, and I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: but he's not short, right, I guess it's five nine?
Speaker 1: Oh five nine is a deal breaker. We've gone We've
Speaker 1: gone through this. I'm like five eight, you're like five four.
Speaker 1: Maybe my hype perception is just close as we are, Dean, um.
Speaker 1: But what happened with him? Oh yeah, I texted him that,
Speaker 1: and we had already talked about me coming down that weekend,
Speaker 1: and then he was like, oh, I think I'm going
Speaker 1: to be a big bear. And then I sent him
Speaker 1: a mess I didn't even answer. And then I sent
Speaker 1: him a message the following Monday and was like, hope
Speaker 1: you had a great weekend even though it didn't involve me,
Speaker 1: and let me matchever in l A. And I have
Speaker 1: not heard a word from him. Senfing Okay, he got
Speaker 1: he's got a new uh. But he also did a
Speaker 1: move which is not great, which was the FaceTime ambush.
Speaker 1: Oh my God, it was so bad. Did we talk
Speaker 1: about this yet? I don't think I've heard this story.
Speaker 1: It was one Sunday Sunday's you are not done up.
Speaker 1: I am in bed in my tailor swift sweatcher like
Speaker 1: a mess, and he does. We're on the phone and
Speaker 1: then he's like, oh, I'm gonna I'm gonna face time
Speaker 1: you boom hits it and I'm like, did you answer?
Speaker 1: Did you? I had to answer. I had no option.
Speaker 1: I tell you move I've never heard of before. But
Speaker 1: I respect it to face Why I am bush because
Speaker 1: I was even just telling Leslie this this morning. I
Speaker 1: wish that she like I appreciate when I can have
Speaker 1: a conversation, like be with a girl that doesn't feel
Speaker 1: the need to be done up all the time. Well,
Speaker 1: I prefer I think Leslie looks more beautiful without makeup on.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's like it's it's a compliment
Speaker 1: at the same time, like it's a compliment. I'll take
Speaker 1: it as a compliment, but I also enjoy I think
Speaker 1: it's also it says a loud about you when you
Speaker 1: go out. It's a good way to look um, well
Speaker 1: dressed and put together. At the same time, if I'm
Speaker 1: out and about meeting with people, I think it's it's
Speaker 1: one thing. But we went to the gym this morning.
Speaker 1: I didn't wear makeup. Um, I'm just saying to his credit,
Speaker 1: I like the FaceTime and bush guys have no idea
Speaker 1: make up though, if I could throw that in. Guys
Speaker 1: are the ones who say I like a girl without makeup.
Speaker 1: I like the natural elect And they're also the first
Speaker 1: people to say, you look tired. Are you feeling okay?
Speaker 1: You never want to hear that. But I Deean did
Speaker 1: the same thing. And we never talked about this, but
Speaker 1: we I think he facetimes me, like maybe when you're
Speaker 1: in Hawaii over Christmas, And it was one of the
Speaker 1: first times we FaceTime, and I was like in bed,
Speaker 1: lights were off. You go from a phone call to
Speaker 1: a FaceTime. Um, no, you just call me out of
Speaker 1: the blue. But it happened to be a FaceTime because
Speaker 1: if you FaceTime someone out of the blue, you can
Speaker 1: simply ignore it. If you FaceTime via phone call that
Speaker 1: you know that they're available in the Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: that's you just gotta you don't have a choice. I
Speaker 1: have to answer, is that a move? Is that a move?
Speaker 1: To say, if I do this, she can't hide anything.
Speaker 1: I really get to see the real hurt if I
Speaker 1: just ambush. I don't know what the motive was for him.
Speaker 1: What do you say was the motive? I talked about
Speaker 1: my tiny bedroom, which is another story, and then he's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I want to see it. I think he was looking
Speaker 1: for any opportunity because we hadn't met. We never still
Speaker 1: have met, so maybe because everyone wants to know if
Speaker 1: they look like what's in their profile. Right, So how
Speaker 1: was the remainder of the conversation on FaceTime? Totally fine?
Speaker 1: And then we hung up because he was like walking somewhere,
Speaker 1: and then he called me back and we talked on
Speaker 1: the phone for another like twenty minutes. But after that
Speaker 1: he seemed like yeah, I mean, of course he did
Speaker 1: like the confidence, but I mean, yeah, I look different
Speaker 1: in my photos than I do on like a very
Speaker 1: very hungover, a chill Sunday, like I had been out
Speaker 1: fourteen hours the day before. And we've done the process
Speaker 1: of going through your Brumble profile, which you deleted bumble,
Speaker 1: No I still haven't. I was going to delete it,
Speaker 1: and then I, I don't know, I hear that you're
Speaker 1: trying out your harmony these days too, about too that's exciting.
Speaker 1: I don't know, is it? Yes, it is exciting. I
Speaker 1: think it is. You're gonna find money, more meaningful relationships.
Speaker 1: Not that you won't find meaningful relationships on bumble, but
Speaker 1: I think that the percent the success rate is higher
Speaker 1: on an app, on an harmony versus a dating app.
Speaker 1: I think, you know for sure it's not guys looking
Speaker 1: for hookups the harmony sure, maybe not for sure, the
Speaker 1: higher chance of a guy looking for relationships the serious
Speaker 1: dating app. Yeah, platforms just kind of like I'm not
Speaker 1: even yet, like am I ready for actually serious? I
Speaker 1: think that's where this is, like going on the Bachelor
Speaker 1: instead of going on the Bachelor in Paradise. You know,
Speaker 1: good comparison. That Okay, very nice analogy, And you know what,
Speaker 1: I'd go on the Bachelor, So maybe would you go
Speaker 1: on Paradise? I don't want to be bathing? Come on,
Speaker 1: go on Facebook right now and and and friendship that way,
Speaker 1: will know maybe by the end of the show he'll
Speaker 1: risk accept that's a great request it now, and if
Speaker 1: he accepts it before the end of the show, that's
Speaker 1: a very good song, very good thing because he's you're
Speaker 1: certainly working. Yes, we're listening listening to this podcast. Could
Speaker 1: you imagine if like, my doctor is like a Dean
Speaker 1: Ungler fan and like not alright, so can you do
Speaker 1: it now? For real? I know you're hesitant, but I
Speaker 1: think this is it's this or nothing. In my two guys,
Speaker 1: he's going to be like, what the heck my patient
Speaker 1: who has met me four times? No way, he's going
Speaker 1: to be stoked. He's going to be excited because it's
Speaker 1: such a good time with you in his office. He
Speaker 1: could literally cut the sexual attention with a night. It's
Speaker 1: not to like about that. He has knives he could
Speaker 1: do to shut my gums. Let just take the scalpel
Speaker 1: out real quick and cut the sexual attention with two us.
Speaker 1: Because Erika, you're making me all hot and bothered. I
Speaker 1: hope he doesn't talk like that. Like listen here, buster,
Speaker 1: can we do some emails? Yeah, let's do some emails?
Speaker 1: All right, here we go. This is from Olivia. Hi, Dean,
Speaker 1: Mark Eastern and Erica. I don't think she knew that
Speaker 1: Leslie was going to be here, but I'm sure she
Speaker 1: would say, here, Dean, listen to this because this is
Speaker 1: what you need to hear you. Guys are by far
Speaker 1: one of my favorite podcast. It makes me laugh, It
Speaker 1: teaches me so much. It gives me great perspective to
Speaker 1: any in every situation, which is why I'm writing to you.
Speaker 1: Maybe long When did hear me out? I'm twenty five
Speaker 1: years old Native Angelina. That's what we call people who
Speaker 1: grew up in Los Angeles. But the past year I've
Speaker 1: been in the DC area. As of recently, I have
Speaker 1: moved back to l A. And on a recent trip
Speaker 1: out to l a month ago, I went out with
Speaker 1: a friend. We met a couple of really interesting, intriguing guys.
Speaker 1: I was really hitting it off with one of them.
Speaker 1: A mid conversation, I mentioned I was living on the
Speaker 1: East Coast, but quickly stated I was moving back soon.
Speaker 1: And after saying that, I noticed his body language is
Speaker 1: demeanor changed. And then after another tennis minutes, he asked
Speaker 1: before my friends number. It threw me off. He did
Speaker 1: reach out to my friend a couple of days later,
Speaker 1: but she never replied. Now, like I said before, I'm
Speaker 1: back in l A. I found his Instagram accounts. So
Speaker 1: here's my question. I want to DM him remind him
Speaker 1: of who I am. Poke fun at him, call him
Speaker 1: out for asking for my friends number one, I was
Speaker 1: the one interested, and then playfully say I can let
Speaker 1: it slide if you want to meet up for drinks
Speaker 1: or coffee. My friends say do it, But I need
Speaker 1: a guy's perspective on the whole thing. Should I be
Speaker 1: gutting ask the guy out or is it not worth it?
Speaker 1: Thanks for helping a gal out. You guys are the best,
Speaker 1: just your average sucky dat or Olivia, Well, Olivia, it's okay.
Speaker 1: We all suck at dating a little bit at certain times.
Speaker 1: That's true. My perspective on this is yeah, go ahead
Speaker 1: and d m him. Um. I would say that the
Speaker 1: reason that his body language shifted was because when you
Speaker 1: don't live in the city that the guy lives in,
Speaker 1: and then you say that you're moving to that city
Speaker 1: and you have a perspective relationship on the line, there
Speaker 1: becomes an uneasy amount of pressure on the guy, like
Speaker 1: because then it's almost kind of like he's he has
Speaker 1: the pressure of her moving to l A almost because
Speaker 1: of him, And obviously that wasn't the case. So I
Speaker 1: think by d m ing him now that you live
Speaker 1: in l A, it's clear that you didn't move to
Speaker 1: l A for him, not that you were going to
Speaker 1: in the first place, but just it's it's a lot
Speaker 1: less pressure now. So I'd say, d mm. So you're
Speaker 1: saying he didn't ask for her numbers simply because she
Speaker 1: didn't live in town. Yes, if there was clear chemistry
Speaker 1: before and he had intentions of asking her and then
Speaker 1: she said that and then his body language changed, that's
Speaker 1: what it's. Because it's because no one wants to be
Speaker 1: in a long distance relationship, and so the the idea
Speaker 1: of that is very troublesome. And especially when it's just
Speaker 1: meeting someone and your friend who you maybe are hitting
Speaker 1: it off just as equally with you're getting that and
Speaker 1: then she lives local, I think he should he should
Speaker 1: da her? Why not Leslie UM for Leslie or Leslie
Speaker 1: Leslie with great earth dog, whatever you want, um My
Speaker 1: friends call me Lester. I don't really like that one
Speaker 1: believe that would be. I feel like you're speaking from
Speaker 1: experience a little bit with that. I think that's all
Speaker 1: we can really do. I speak from experience about these
Speaker 1: types of things like long distance relationship, maybe a girlfriend
Speaker 1: moving to l A, et cetera. There adds a different
Speaker 1: dynamic especially when you just met someone obviously, like they
Speaker 1: haven't been dating, they just met this night, and when
Speaker 1: she mentions that she lives on the East Coast, and
Speaker 1: then he like, it's just challenging to be excited about
Speaker 1: getting into a relationship with someone when they lived three
Speaker 1: thousand miles away from you. You know you had Obviously
Speaker 1: we had a different experience because we lived in the
Speaker 1: same house for two weeks and then we've kind of
Speaker 1: like discussed the logistics of a potential relationship and that's
Speaker 1: why it's been so good for us. But I'm just saying, like,
Speaker 1: that's what he's seeing when he meets a girl at
Speaker 1: a bar who doesn't live there, and maybe that's a
Speaker 1: good time. Maybe he wasn't even looking just to hook
Speaker 1: up with you and then like send you on your way.
Speaker 1: He's like he's looking for a relationship. Maybe I think
Speaker 1: I'm just going to take us out of this equation
Speaker 1: and not make it personal. I'm gonna completely focus on
Speaker 1: Olivia and say that I'd forget him. If somebody asked
Speaker 1: for my friends and number, I would not have that
Speaker 1: like at all. I'd say bye, goodbye forever. Kind of
Speaker 1: forgot that part of that Yeah, that is not cool.
Speaker 1: I hate this. Sorry, Olivia, forget him. It's it's rude.
Speaker 1: I mean, it really is. Whether he was into you
Speaker 1: or an clearly that's rude to do. Maybe maybe that's
Speaker 1: one of his tactics to ask for the friends number,
Speaker 1: in which case still goodbye exactly. That's your game, you
Speaker 1: agree with Murph Sully. I didn't that first, but after
Speaker 1: hearing your reasoning on it, yes, I'm going to go
Speaker 1: with you two as well. I don't think this is
Speaker 1: I think if he was interested in you, he would
Speaker 1: have asked your friend for your number the other way around.
Speaker 1: And it's rude to ask for your friend's number because
Speaker 1: you two were vibing and you know he felt that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't love it on the first three, then I
Speaker 1: still stand by it. There's a lot of people out
Speaker 1: of principle, a lot of people in southern California find
Speaker 1: somebody else. That's my thought. Yeah, it was this the
Speaker 1: first conversation too. Yeah, they met there, I believe. Yeah, Okay, sure,
Speaker 1: it's the first conversation. But that argument can benefit both
Speaker 1: sides because if it was just their first conversation and
Speaker 1: he asked for their friend's phone number, big whoop. If
Speaker 1: they were like dating and he asked for her friend's
Speaker 1: phone number, I think that's a I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: think that's a great way to start off a potential
Speaker 1: relationship with somebody. You though. You want to feel important,
Speaker 1: You want to feel loved, even if it's the first conversation.
Speaker 1: You want to feel like this person likes you. And
Speaker 1: if somebody's asking for my friend's number, I'm gone. All right, Well, Olivia,
Speaker 1: take it for what you will. The host of the
Speaker 1: podcast and the co host is telling you to forget him,
Speaker 1: all right. This is Sarah. She says, I'm twenty six
Speaker 1: and a guy who's twenty four and hinge in September.
Speaker 1: We've hit it off since our first date. On our
Speaker 1: third he introduced me to his family, which I thought
Speaker 1: was kind of soon, but flattering to me because they
Speaker 1: told me he doesn't really ever do that. A month
Speaker 1: into our relationship, we went on a guy's trip ended
Speaker 1: up hooking up with a random girl in the bar.
Speaker 1: On his way home, he texted me, told me what happened,
Speaker 1: and this really hurt me because I told him the
Speaker 1: one thing I could not handle in a relationship is
Speaker 1: cheating and he told me he felt the same. We
Speaker 1: had a long talk. He seemed very unapologetic but very
Speaker 1: emotional at the same time. His explanation was get this.
Speaker 1: His explanation was that it wasn't in the moment kind
Speaker 1: of thing. He thought about it. He knew what was
Speaker 1: going to happen and decided to go with it. He
Speaker 1: said he wants to experience the things in life and
Speaker 1: that was new and exciting for him. We took a
Speaker 1: week apart and decided to start fresh. He was very
Speaker 1: remorseful and reassured me that I meant everything to him.
Speaker 1: Four months into our relationship, we had a small disagreement
Speaker 1: which stem from what he had done in the past.
Speaker 1: We finally talked about it fully and buried it. A
Speaker 1: week later, we had an argument about spending the day
Speaker 1: together when he didn't feel like spending the day together,
Speaker 1: and out of nowhere, he told me he wanted to
Speaker 1: break up because we're hurting each other. This crushed me
Speaker 1: so much more than I could ever explain, because I
Speaker 1: had realized that I loved this man, and the week
Speaker 1: before he expressed that he never wanted to be without
Speaker 1: me and that we could work through whatever came Our way.
Speaker 1: We ended amicably. We're still friends on social media, but
Speaker 1: I'm constantly wondering why he broke up with me. His
Speaker 1: explanation doesn't seem enough, and I'm wondering if maybe he
Speaker 1: just wanted to be free to do what he did before.
Speaker 1: What a weird situation. It is a weird situation. We
Speaker 1: get so many emails from guys that are just like,
Speaker 1: I love you, I love you, I love you forever,
Speaker 1: it's you and me, and the next week they cheat
Speaker 1: or just dump you out of the blue. It's still
Speaker 1: frush writing yea, why do they blindside us like that? Oh? What?
Speaker 1: What was? Her question? Just doesn't seem enough, And now
Speaker 1: I'm wondering if maybe he just wanted to be free
Speaker 1: to do what he did before. That's her question. I
Speaker 1: guess that's her question is why did this? Why did
Speaker 1: he do this? Which which was the real him? Did
Speaker 1: he really love me? Or is he the guy that
Speaker 1: just wants to be with everybody? M M. I think
Speaker 1: she needs to get move on. It sounds like he sucks.
Speaker 1: It just sounds like he's just not that end to
Speaker 1: the relationship. This part really made me upset when he
Speaker 1: when she said his explanation wasn't in the moment kind
Speaker 1: of thing. He thought about it, he knew it was
Speaker 1: going to happen and decided to go with it. He said,
Speaker 1: he wants to experience new things in life, and that
Speaker 1: was a new and exciting for him. Even if that's true,
Speaker 1: how do you tell that to the girl you cheat
Speaker 1: or not? Right? How do you say, by the way,
Speaker 1: I thought about it and it was gonna have him
Speaker 1: did it anyway? So this is someone this guy is
Speaker 1: someone that's not supposed to be in a relationship right now,
Speaker 1: and that means that he's not supposed to be in
Speaker 1: a relationship with her. So she just needs to move on.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think that her question is what
Speaker 1: did he does? He want to be free to do
Speaker 1: what he did before, And the answer that simply is yes, yes,
Speaker 1: he wants to be able to do over the hell
Speaker 1: he wants. In fact, you probably saw somebody else and
Speaker 1: that was that, and so that's that's the long and
Speaker 1: short of it is that he wants to continue to
Speaker 1: do that thing where you can make out with a
Speaker 1: girl at a bar and not have to feel remorseful
Speaker 1: about it, and he can still love you. I guess,
Speaker 1: but he's not ready to be in a relationship with you,
Speaker 1: and you shouldn't want him in a relationship with you.
Speaker 1: When you're twenty four and you're a guy, making out
Speaker 1: with random women at bars is a priority for you.
Speaker 1: He's a child. If I may be so bold and six,
Speaker 1: but I just want to put it out there, twenty
Speaker 1: six is light years. You're almost you're almost twenty seven.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying this guy is a child. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying all twenty four your guys are children. This guy, though,
Speaker 1: is a child and just wants what he wants in
Speaker 1: that moment and doesn't think five minutes ahead. My advice
Speaker 1: to you, Sarah is to get off of him on
Speaker 1: social media, block him on social media, get him out
Speaker 1: of your life, and move on. You have learned from
Speaker 1: this experience, take that experience and move on. I think
Speaker 1: that's good advice. I think a red flag in the
Speaker 1: beginning is when you said, about a month into our relationship,
Speaker 1: up he went on a guy's trip and ended up
Speaker 1: hooking with a random girl in the bar. I feel
Speaker 1: like in the beginning of the relationship is like the
Speaker 1: amazing honeymoon phase, and you're not supposed to be thinking
Speaker 1: about other people who are hooking up with other people
Speaker 1: during that time. That's the most precious time. Um yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, while you still can't, I mean to turn out.
Speaker 1: So stay out, don't get back in, don't even stick
Speaker 1: a toe back in the water. To Mark's point, block
Speaker 1: him on all social media and learn. Block his parents
Speaker 1: on social media, block his friends on social media, your life,
Speaker 1: Get the heck out of there. Olivia Sara Sarah Sharon
Speaker 1: is a question for deedon. Olivia was the first one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she was, She says, Hey, Dean, my name is Sharon.
Speaker 1: I'm a huge fan of The Bachelor Bachelor Rette, and
Speaker 1: I'm completely hard. I was completely heartbroken on the episode
Speaker 1: on which you went home in Rachel's season. My question
Speaker 1: for you, did you feel like Rachel made you show
Speaker 1: the world this side of your family and then essentially
Speaker 1: through it out the window. Have you ever been able
Speaker 1: to talk to her about that. I'm sure she knew
Speaker 1: what was coming when she went to your hometown with you.
Speaker 1: You're amazing and I'm so happy for you and Leslie. Leslie, sorry,
Speaker 1: clearly you don't suck at dating anymore. Much love from
Speaker 1: Bachelor Nations that's a sweet email, But have you ever
Speaker 1: thought of it like that? The question is do I
Speaker 1: feel like? What was the question? Did she eventually throw
Speaker 1: out the experience that you have with my family out
Speaker 1: the window? I guess it. Did you feel used a
Speaker 1: little bit? Or did you feel abused that she made
Speaker 1: you bring all this family drama on a national television
Speaker 1: and then say goodbye? No, I didn't necessarily care so
Speaker 1: much about that. I have heard people say like, oh,
Speaker 1: Dean got taken advantage of his family, got taken advantage
Speaker 1: of for ABC from ABC for ratings, all that kind
Speaker 1: of stuff, and it's like, No, I agreed to do
Speaker 1: this show. I knew the potential repercussions of going to
Speaker 1: a hometown date before even one on the show. UM
Speaker 1: my family, every single one of them signed up to
Speaker 1: be on the show as well, so like they fully
Speaker 1: well knew what they were getting themselves into. Um I was.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think it was a c that
Speaker 1: I was shocked that I got sent home, especially after
Speaker 1: that experience. Didn't she tell you she loved you? She
Speaker 1: said she was falling in love with me on the
Speaker 1: floor of my father's wives house. Let's be very clear,
Speaker 1: An interesting place to be in that moment. Um. I
Speaker 1: have not had a conversation with with Rachel about that.
Speaker 1: I mean, in hindsight, I fully understand where she was
Speaker 1: coming from. Like she was like, you would just weren't
Speaker 1: in a place in life where I need you to be.
Speaker 1: I was like, I mean at the time, I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't believe you, But then watching it back, I
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, I kind of understand and see where
Speaker 1: you're coming from. I think anybody that goes home after
Speaker 1: hometown dates, um, that's hard. That's it's it's kind of
Speaker 1: like a slap in the face. What did you did you?
Speaker 1: Not like my family did you. It's kind of easy
Speaker 1: to be like, oh, my family was the reason I
Speaker 1: got sent home, but in reality that's not the case
Speaker 1: at all. I don't think, Um, I made a joke
Speaker 1: to Lesson because Leslie met my father this past week
Speaker 1: or what a week ago in Colorado, and uh, I
Speaker 1: was like, the last time I introduced a girl to
Speaker 1: my father, I got dumped two days later, So let's
Speaker 1: not make a habit of that. And I feel like
Speaker 1: you were really actually nervous about that. It's just not
Speaker 1: there there. I mean, we don't even to talk about.
Speaker 1: But it wasn't it wasn't a nerve thing. It was
Speaker 1: just a matter of backed because that's what happened. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean we're good. So what's the question here. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I feel I think you've answered it. Okay, you don't.
Speaker 1: You didn't feel used and abused by that situation? I
Speaker 1: told I told the producers while I was going through
Speaker 1: the screen process. Um, I was like, Hey, just so
Speaker 1: you guys know, like I have a weird family dynamic
Speaker 1: and if I make it to hometowns, it's gonna be
Speaker 1: like something you've probably never seen before. And they were
Speaker 1: well aware of it, and I'm sure they were kind
Speaker 1: of like licking their chops and they're like, yeah, we
Speaker 1: get this guy to hometowns, things are gonna get interesting.
Speaker 1: That's what makes me kind of like uncomfortable. I remember
Speaker 1: watching it. I didn't even know you yet, and I
Speaker 1: was like something about those feels like maybe they are
Speaker 1: loving this and like, meanwhile, you're having kind of a
Speaker 1: terrible day. You know, But but like you said, you
Speaker 1: signed up for it. We all signed up for it.
Speaker 1: The same thing back to like Becca, like when people
Speaker 1: were talking about like how like unethical it was for
Speaker 1: already to break up with her on camera for that
Speaker 1: and at the end of the day there that's their
Speaker 1: job is to create right and attaining TV show. Unfortunately. Well,
Speaker 1: and it's like that book that just came out, um
Speaker 1: something about Bachelor Nation. I forget Amy Kaufman's book and
Speaker 1: talks about they mentioned in there that some of the
Speaker 1: producers supposedly would even track the women's menstrual cycles, so
Speaker 1: they would be guaranteed to have the most dramatic reactions
Speaker 1: bad news or new information. I mean that's extreme. So yeah,
Speaker 1: they probably don't. I don't put it past them, though,
Speaker 1: not at all, not for a second. So you can
Speaker 1: relate to some of our's women who were told I'm
Speaker 1: falling in love with you and then two days later
Speaker 1: it's bye bye. You kind of know how they feel
Speaker 1: and what they're what they went through. I guess I
Speaker 1: don't who was he saying that to? You said that
Speaker 1: to Kendall. I think the three different women Lauren. Challenging
Speaker 1: thing in that situation is that's the first taste of
Speaker 1: you not being in the same house as everyone else
Speaker 1: that you're kind of competing with. So it's like when
Speaker 1: I got through the hometowns, I hadn't seen Brian, Peter
Speaker 1: or Eric for a week, and so I wasn't able
Speaker 1: to gauge kind of their relationship with Rachel as I
Speaker 1: was before that, and I just kept being reassured by
Speaker 1: everyone around me, the producers, whoever. It was like, she
Speaker 1: told her she was falling in love with you. I
Speaker 1: don't think I've ever heard anyone say that before going
Speaker 1: into the fantasy suits or anything like that. So you're like,
Speaker 1: I like this kind of like this cloud nine, feeling
Speaker 1: good about the relationship, and then obviously, sure enough things
Speaker 1: kind of tumble down from there. But watching it back,
Speaker 1: like I think I mentioned this before, and like one
Speaker 1: of the first or second podcasts that we've done was
Speaker 1: watching it back and watching Rachel's relationship with Brian, Peter
Speaker 1: and Eric, I'm like, oh, well, no, shout I went
Speaker 1: home when she has so much stronger a connection with
Speaker 1: the other three guys, um, But at the time I
Speaker 1: didn't realize that, you know. So that's kind of that's
Speaker 1: where a lot of the shock factor comes from, because
Speaker 1: you don't really know what to have anything to compared
Speaker 1: to You never think of it it that way, Like
Speaker 1: as a fan, I'm like, no, I just watch all
Speaker 1: your relationships, but really you're in your own head. You
Speaker 1: are in your own head, like it's it's really different.
Speaker 1: Personal question. Yeah, because it's something you brought up before
Speaker 1: on the podcast when you were with your family. Recently,
Speaker 1: we were with your siblings as well. I was with
Speaker 1: my brother and his girlfriend for a night and then
Speaker 1: I was my father for breakfast. Did you bring up
Speaker 1: the Hawaii trip at all? Did that get addressed at all? Um?
Speaker 1: So what's funny is I think that my brother's girlfriend
Speaker 1: and listens to this podcast, she hasn't. We haven't discussed it,
Speaker 1: and Ashley, if you're listening, Hi, I love you. UM,
Speaker 1: and I think that she maybe like said something to
Speaker 1: my brother about UM how I felt like they were
Speaker 1: a little unappreciative. And so he's like he's been like
Speaker 1: showering with showering me with a lot more love lately,
Speaker 1: which I love and it's great, and that's like all
Speaker 1: you can really ask for. UM, my father brought up Hawaii,
Speaker 1: but he like brushed over it. He's like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I thought you guys were going to a main land
Speaker 1: or like big island. So that's why I didn't want
Speaker 1: to go. No, no, he he said what you did
Speaker 1: was a really great thing. Well, that's nice. Yeah, he
Speaker 1: absolutely acknowledged it, right, he said that it was a
Speaker 1: good thing. He was proud and happy for us. But
Speaker 1: the reason he was like, yeah, you said you were
Speaker 1: going to Big Island, and I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: want to go to Big Islands. So that's why decided
Speaker 1: not to go. And here that part. So he brought
Speaker 1: it up. It was like a very brief thing. He
Speaker 1: definitely acknowledged it, and I was glad and happy that
Speaker 1: y'all are under the same roof again. And it was
Speaker 1: a good thing. That's nice, and then nice, Yeah, should
Speaker 1: keep blessling around a lot more. I'll tell y'all the
Speaker 1: secrets of what Dean doesn't want out there. This is
Speaker 1: from Kelly and it's mainly the rest to Erica Love
Speaker 1: your podcast. I hear you talk a lot about online
Speaker 1: dating and the different approaches we take the message people.
Speaker 1: A few weeks look, a few weeks ago, Erica talked
Speaker 1: about her go to opening line was the sub seal.
Speaker 1: So the question we're talking about, what's your opening line
Speaker 1: on a dating app? You match with somebody, how do
Speaker 1: you reach out for the first time, and she used
Speaker 1: this up seal, which is a gift of a seal
Speaker 1: rolling over and lifting up his hand and it says sup,
Speaker 1: which we all thought was cute. Dean didn't think it
Speaker 1: was very Dean was not a fan of the up
Speaker 1: seal anyway. The woman's been struggling. This is Kelly. She'd
Speaker 1: been struggling hardcore with good first lines while using bumbles,
Speaker 1: so she tried, what the heck, let me try this upseal.
Speaker 1: I thought it was a perfect storm because the day
Speaker 1: I went with it we had a huge snowstorm, so
Speaker 1: I was hoping he would make the connection. I'm not
Speaker 1: sure I get that. So like she was in a
Speaker 1: snowstorm and the seal is boy was iron. That was
Speaker 1: probably the fastest unmapped I've ever received. It might have
Speaker 1: been instant. Erica, you failed me big time and all
Speaker 1: serious is what tips can you give us for sending
Speaker 1: a good message? There is into corny catch at their
Speaker 1: attention isn't the same thing everybody else? So we've talked
Speaker 1: about this quite a bit on the shows. What's your
Speaker 1: opening line of the dating apps? We've given our opinions.
Speaker 1: I do like a gift. Maybe that's not the one.
Speaker 1: I do think a gift is cute, You don't. You disagree?
Speaker 1: It just so effortless, and that's not good for an
Speaker 1: opening line. I'm just saying it doesn't convey much like
Speaker 1: you don't feel special by receiving a gift. You don't
Speaker 1: feel special when someone just says hey, you know, there's
Speaker 1: no You don't like feel motivated to continue a conversation
Speaker 1: when someone just can easily, like autonomously quickly do something
Speaker 1: like that. You know, that's literally how you would say
Speaker 1: good morning to me after Winter Games wrapped? Every morning,
Speaker 1: what yes, yes, you did. You would send these the
Speaker 1: puppies with and you would say good morning and the
Speaker 1: puppy voice and emojis whatever it was. Still it was
Speaker 1: still effortless. No, I would take an animal g of
Speaker 1: myself saying good morning, Leslie, and if I was a cat,
Speaker 1: if I was, and it was it was a different
Speaker 1: animal every day. But it was still like, well how
Speaker 1: do I respond to this that? I mean, I give
Speaker 1: um anyways, those aren't sent anymore, but you just it
Speaker 1: seemed like, you know, no, it's a good thing. It's
Speaker 1: a good thing. I didn't like him the cool thing
Speaker 1: about animal gs, especially to somebody you don't know, as
Speaker 1: well as it's also bragging a little bit, like I
Speaker 1: got the iPhone yeah exactly, because I googled it and
Speaker 1: I was like, I guess I should respond with one
Speaker 1: of these. I have an iPhone seven And I remember
Speaker 1: you even saying You're like, I can't wait to see
Speaker 1: what animal get tomorrow. I guess you were being sarcastic
Speaker 1: when you said that. Yeah, my communication was off. You
Speaker 1: guys are part of the learning process exactly. But okay,
Speaker 1: so not a gift perhaps, but what we've discussed this before,
Speaker 1: but do you have a anything murph? If you were
Speaker 1: on a dating app, or maybe you have been in
Speaker 1: the past, what's a good opening line for Kelly. I'm
Speaker 1: the worst at this because I have never in my
Speaker 1: lifetime been on a dating app. Um I am. I
Speaker 1: am lucky. I am dating this guy over here, and
Speaker 1: I don't have to come up with opening lines. You
Speaker 1: can just yeah, um, I like if I'm If you
Speaker 1: look at their likes, you see what they're into. And
Speaker 1: let's say they like Grey's Anatomy. Have you seen last
Speaker 1: week Spears Anatomy yet? Or I don't know and that,
Speaker 1: but it's something you like together walking dead and then
Speaker 1: you say have you seen last week's yet? And that
Speaker 1: starts the whole thing. If you see that, it's that's easy,
Speaker 1: and you can still like kind of rapid fire that
Speaker 1: to a lot of guys that you might be interested in,
Speaker 1: but it's still is unique to the person that you're
Speaker 1: talking to. It's more effort and it's more specific to them.
Speaker 1: So to Kelly, no more sub seals, because this applies
Speaker 1: to you as well. No more sub seals unless unless
Speaker 1: all you're going for is quality quantity and not quality.
Speaker 1: If there's like are going for quantity, well, because just
Speaker 1: like you know, you you kind of throw a bunch
Speaker 1: of crap at the wall and you see what sticks.
Speaker 1: Sort of thing. That's kind of the mentality that a
Speaker 1: lot of people have with those dating apps. But every
Speaker 1: once in a while you'll match with someone that you're
Speaker 1: like really interested in, and those maybe maybe you're the
Speaker 1: ones that you can put a little bit more thought
Speaker 1: into Yeah okay, And if they don't respond to that,
Speaker 1: then throw on a sup seal follow them when the
Speaker 1: sub seal. You can't double text on a dating app
Speaker 1: when they have an answer that is kind of. I
Speaker 1: think all bets are off with dating apps these days,
Speaker 1: you can do whatever the heck you want. Yeah, the
Speaker 1: double tax is a little desperate. I mean, yeah, Hey,
Speaker 1: maybe you didn't get my first message. Hey, um, do
Speaker 1: you remember me from eighteen hours ago? I have friends
Speaker 1: that will match with someone that they're really into, and
Speaker 1: if they don't get a message back, they'll follow them
Speaker 1: on Instagram and d m M or something like that. Hey,
Speaker 1: I gotta go for it. Hey, you just you just
Speaker 1: added on Facebook your oral surgeon. That's a great as
Speaker 1: you accepted the friend requests you guys, I think I'm
Speaker 1: going to like throw. But if he were, if he accepts,
Speaker 1: what's your first line going to be, I'd say, doing great?
Speaker 1: Give me accept you let it linger for a few
Speaker 1: days and see if he reaches out. If not, then
Speaker 1: were we readdress? I don't think how can I tell?
Speaker 1: I just have to go back to his profile? Okay, no,
Speaker 1: except yet it's also the middle of the day. You
Speaker 1: also requested not too terribly long ago, so it's a
Speaker 1: good thing. I have one more email here. Do you
Speaker 1: know what? Matt and Denver because he seems to know you. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: Matt says, Deanie Boy recently threw me up on his
Speaker 1: Instagram store while we were in Denver this weekend and said,
Speaker 1: somebody please take Matt Boy on a date. Matt Boy magic,
Speaker 1: I guess is within twenty four hours, over two date
Speaker 1: offers from around the world. Shout out to the bold
Speaker 1: ladies who slid into the d M respect. By the way,
Speaker 1: we really get an email from guys on this show,
Speaker 1: so it's a little interesting to read now. Granted, I
Speaker 1: did say Dean, you're gonna introduce me to your fallows
Speaker 1: and let him and I'm single right that night, but
Speaker 1: fifty percent joking and not expecting this outcome. Now, I've
Speaker 1: got an interesting situation in front of me. Where do
Speaker 1: I start? Do I take any of these seriously? Do
Speaker 1: I actually go on a date with any of these girls?
Speaker 1: Do I capitalize on the opportunity or play it off
Speaker 1: as a joke. So oh, by the way, ps, I
Speaker 1: thought this podcast would be a joke, but y'all kill it.
Speaker 1: Great content, keep it up, yeah, Matt and Denver. So
Speaker 1: the question is when you're faced in a situation. Indean,
Speaker 1: you were single not that long ago, and I know
Speaker 1: you don't like to talk about when you were single,
Speaker 1: because you're in a loving relationship right now and that's awesome,
Speaker 1: But you're in a situation coming off the batchelor where
Speaker 1: you had where we talked about this before. Every woman
Speaker 1: in the world, not every woman in the world, but
Speaker 1: you have so many different people coming at you that
Speaker 1: it seems like it would be paralyzing, like you don't
Speaker 1: know where to begin. It seems like a good situation
Speaker 1: on paper, but in reality it's got to be overwhelming
Speaker 1: and and nothing and hard to handle. So um to
Speaker 1: the first point of this, well, I guess I'm trying
Speaker 1: to figure out how I want to go about answering
Speaker 1: these questions. So to Matt's point quickly to cover that,
Speaker 1: he said he was joking, not expecting this outcome. He
Speaker 1: was a serious about me throwing him up on his
Speaker 1: Instagram story, he like asked me multiple times, and I
Speaker 1: was like, will you please do this? Wait, and so
Speaker 1: I was like, all right, like sure, fine, you're my friend,
Speaker 1: I'll post it and we'll see what happens. He says
Speaker 1: he gets propositions from around the world and that's not
Speaker 1: unique to the people that go on the show, and
Speaker 1: a lot of times I would say more times than not,
Speaker 1: the guys get too excited about that and they tried
Speaker 1: to overcapitalize and so like you just love the attention
Speaker 1: you're getting, like they're responding to every single DM, like
Speaker 1: getting all these dates, and that's where a lot of
Speaker 1: the guys on the show get a bad reputation from
Speaker 1: um My, I think when we talked about this, I
Speaker 1: don't really respond to any d ms, nor would I
Speaker 1: have any interest in going on dates with the people
Speaker 1: that DM me, because that just that it's just weird.
Speaker 1: So to Matt's points, or I guess to his question,
Speaker 1: do they take do you take any of them seriously?
Speaker 1: I think he really wants to be in a relationship
Speaker 1: with someone as well I do. He's a great guy
Speaker 1: and very ready for a relationship. Um twenty four years
Speaker 1: old and living in Denver, So I don't know. I
Speaker 1: think that's I don't mean to take over your podcast,
Speaker 1: but here I feel like that's that's a tough one,
Speaker 1: especially for the women who are messaging him from Brazil, Columbia, whatnot.
Speaker 1: He should look local at who's local? Because I met
Speaker 1: back it was like, excuse me. We talked about how
Speaker 1: single I am every week, like no, no, no, not
Speaker 1: like that. You want to be induced to Mat. No,
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. But then it's like he doesn't
Speaker 1: live here, and like, I'm not so sure our value
Speaker 1: is alive. I think he has better values than me.
Speaker 1: I guess he's cute. Yea, he has a big crush
Speaker 1: on Tania. Yeah, mentioned, that's funny. So I guess my advice.
Speaker 1: My advice to Matt is start starting Denver, starting Denver
Speaker 1: and just started conversation right with some Denver women and
Speaker 1: then see what happens. Yeah, maybe something. He doesn't need
Speaker 1: social media to find a date. He should find a
Speaker 1: date through his church. He's like a big and very
Speaker 1: active in the community in that way, like he needs
Speaker 1: to find a good old Catholic girl that wants to
Speaker 1: settle down with him, and you're not one of those, Sully.
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, no, I'm so sorry, world, but I like
Speaker 1: using Deans into Story as a dating app, Like you
Speaker 1: could be the next person I should charge for that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll call it Dean. I just think that I would
Speaker 1: rather have a friend specifically setting like if Dean had
Speaker 1: a friend who he was like, oh my god, he'd
Speaker 1: be great for Erica. That's what I would want. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't want like random yucky dudes sliding into my dams.
Speaker 1: Get the heck out of here. And that same logic
Speaker 1: applies for the opposite sex as well, Like I don't
Speaker 1: want to say random sloppy dudes, random sloppy girl sidding
Speaker 1: into his dams, but but the average woman who might
Speaker 1: be fallow, I don't know, it's different though. Women don't
Speaker 1: want random yucky dudes. Guys occasionally like a random yucky
Speaker 1: girl that's you know, faint some days, that's what they're into. So, Dean,
Speaker 1: what's the rest of your day look like? The rest
Speaker 1: of my day to day the two of you? Oh, well,
Speaker 1: I was supposed to be getting lunch with my former
Speaker 1: boss but he canceled on me, and we're scheduling for tomorrow,
Speaker 1: that jerk. And then we're just gonna go home and
Speaker 1: go back to the gym. We're doing two days morning, right,
Speaker 1: he Dean is Dean's a little weird though he likes
Speaker 1: to go to the Yeah, he likes to go to
Speaker 1: the gym around ten pm, which for me, I'm like
Speaker 1: winding down right because if I'm not using beach body,
Speaker 1: I like to go to the gym when it's less crowded,
Speaker 1: all the machines are free. I don't have to work,
Speaker 1: but I still feel like even eight pm would would
Speaker 1: do that. It's not it's not a gold it's very
Speaker 1: crowd at all the time. You mentioned another show before
Speaker 1: a diet that you're on. Are you still doing that?
Speaker 1: It's not like a diet that I'm on. I'm not.
Speaker 1: I don't eat healthy by any starch of the imagination.
Speaker 1: But one thing that I'm very good at is controlling
Speaker 1: my appetite. I don't have to. I can only eat
Speaker 1: one meal a day if I wanted to. I could
Speaker 1: only eat one meal every two or three days if
Speaker 1: I really wanted to. It poses an interesting um. I
Speaker 1: don't know, not a wrench in our relationship, but I
Speaker 1: like to eat. I don't need. I don't need a
Speaker 1: lot by any any means. But I like to have
Speaker 1: three meals a day breakfast, lunch, and every time we
Speaker 1: eat somewhere or every time you're hunger, we go eat
Speaker 1: somewhere and I eat with you. Yeah, but like I
Speaker 1: knew you didn't want to eat breakfast this morning, even
Speaker 1: after going to the gym, so it was like, okay,
Speaker 1: when are we gonna Is there at least the Starbucks
Speaker 1: around that I can go get something that and of
Speaker 1: course you didn't, you didn't order anything. I just I
Speaker 1: think that the it's it's important to be able to
Speaker 1: control your appetite. I think a lot of times like
Speaker 1: we're we've gotten conditioned to want to eat breakfast, lunch,
Speaker 1: and dinner every single day, but we weren't designed to
Speaker 1: do that as humans. I don't know, this is where
Speaker 1: we differ because we worked out and that's your body
Speaker 1: needs the nutrients to um. I was telling Lessie this
Speaker 1: earlier on the way because she we were actually having
Speaker 1: this conversation as we were walking up the stairs in
Speaker 1: the studio here. UM, and I was like, think about
Speaker 1: your body as like an engine to a car. The
Speaker 1: more miles you put on that engine, the more likely
Speaker 1: it is to break down. The more you can think
Speaker 1: of your digestive system as that engine, So the more
Speaker 1: food you're ingesting and then digesting pushing out, that's going
Speaker 1: to be putting more miles on your digestive system, which
Speaker 1: then tires it out quicker. I don't know your heart
Speaker 1: beats every how many beats a minute? I don't that
Speaker 1: never tires out. I'm not talking about your heart. I'm
Speaker 1: talking about like your I don't, but I don't think
Speaker 1: that's a bad thing for it to be working every day.
Speaker 1: That's a design force. You use something, the longer it's
Speaker 1: gonna last. You're talking system. That's just one part of
Speaker 1: your body. I'm just saying in general, and anything outside
Speaker 1: of your body, inside your body, the less you use something,
Speaker 1: the longer it's gonna last. Unless you drive a car,
Speaker 1: the more years you're going to be able to drive
Speaker 1: that car. Do you hold your breath for a certain
Speaker 1: amount of day to keep your lungs and good shape.
Speaker 1: I should start, maybe, but then you're probably brain of oxygen,
Speaker 1: and there's a more dilemma there. I'm just saying, we
Speaker 1: need to get a doctor going with you. So there's
Speaker 1: certain days of the week you don't eat now. I
Speaker 1: mean there were days before. It was much easier when
Speaker 1: I had a structured life of going to my office
Speaker 1: from Monday to Friday, from nine to five, and I
Speaker 1: could control my eating habits more clearly when my days
Speaker 1: were more defined. But now it's like I do more
Speaker 1: random things, and so I eat more random hours more
Speaker 1: I have like a lot more ability to eat whenever
Speaker 1: I want to for a new and a girlfriend likes
Speaker 1: to eat um, So if it were up to me,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't eat very often. But because less he's around
Speaker 1: a lot, I eat maybe like more often than I
Speaker 1: would normally. And I eat a lot of her food
Speaker 1: because she only eats like half of her plate, which
Speaker 1: I actually really enjoy. That's the thing, Like I can
Speaker 1: sit down and eat one and a half meals. But
Speaker 1: I just wouldn't do that if it were up to like,
Speaker 1: if I if I were acting for myself. When you
Speaker 1: do eat, do you eat healthy? To eat poorly because
Speaker 1: you feel like you have all these free calories you
Speaker 1: can have because you haven't. It's like a mixture. I
Speaker 1: would say one out of every like four meals is healthy,
Speaker 1: just just for sake of knowing that I need to
Speaker 1: get greens in me every once in a while, like
Speaker 1: two meals a week. Then by doing the math. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: you love your Cheetos and you love your cheeto. We
Speaker 1: were in the airport yesterday and you got shremboli, and
Speaker 1: I walked over and got a veggie wrap because I
Speaker 1: know the travel Life bagel well, but it had hummus
Speaker 1: and veggies inside it, and you ate like you ate pizza.
Speaker 1: And there is something to be said. The less you eat,
Speaker 1: the more unhealthy you can eat. You can you can
Speaker 1: eat a hundred calorie strong bold. I have heard this
Speaker 1: theory if it's the only thing you eat the entire day.
Speaker 1: I used to work forgotten Rick D's his birthday is tomorrow,
Speaker 1: uh and he he how did the five bite diet?
Speaker 1: For every meal you eat five bytes of whatever you want.
Speaker 1: It could be broccoli, it could be a Snicker's bar,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't matter because it all turns to sugar
Speaker 1: anyway once it's on the inside. He was a strong
Speaker 1: proponent of this. I was not. I think it's weird,
Speaker 1: but I think that's the same as you're. What you're
Speaker 1: saying is you have so many calories a day can
Speaker 1: be whatever you wanted to right, And the only the
Speaker 1: way that you lose weight isn't by eating healthy. You
Speaker 1: could eat five thousand calories a day of all vegetables
Speaker 1: and all healthy food, and you'll still gain weight. The
Speaker 1: way to lose weight is to be calorie deficient. So
Speaker 1: if you burn fifteen hundred calories and you only consume
Speaker 1: a thousand calories. That's a calorie deficient day, which means
Speaker 1: you lost weight that day. So if you can eat
Speaker 1: one meal that's a thousand calories, but you burn fift ndred,
Speaker 1: you're you're losing even no matter what the meal is,
Speaker 1: you're still five hundred calorie deficient. Right. That's kind of
Speaker 1: the diet I did before going on The Bachelor. Actually
Speaker 1: I did the It wasn't the five bite diet. It
Speaker 1: was maybe like the Tin Bye fifty diet where I
Speaker 1: just had everything um and worked out and it worked
Speaker 1: for me. It is this calories in, calories out. But
Speaker 1: if you're treating your body like a car or machine,
Speaker 1: you're giving it Cheetos, Like, isn't that just putting junk
Speaker 1: in your gas tanks? Okay, we all do things that
Speaker 1: were afflicted by I'm sure you don't have the most
Speaker 1: picture perfect diet, right, not always no, but I'm also
Speaker 1: not don't subscribe to some of your interesting theories. It's
Speaker 1: it is funny. I was I was having a conversation
Speaker 1: with someone about this the other day, Um, about how
Speaker 1: we do so many things to like be healthier and
Speaker 1: be better and do all these things, and then at
Speaker 1: the same time, we still do so many things that
Speaker 1: are bad for us. I think I was talking to
Speaker 1: someone that drinks diet pepsi or something like that, and
Speaker 1: I was like, well, do you pepsi? She's like, well,
Speaker 1: because it's better for me. I's like, we had still
Speaker 1: bad for you. Um, And so, like, no one is
Speaker 1: going to live like perfectly in that sense. It's all
Speaker 1: about finding the means that you have. And it's funny.
Speaker 1: It's too because a lot of people, when I talked
Speaker 1: to tell them, like, I don't use soap, or I
Speaker 1: don't use any like these these external products. I forgot
Speaker 1: about that. They're like, oh, tell me about that tattoo
Speaker 1: you just got where they stuck ink into your skin
Speaker 1: and you have to pick and choose your battery. We
Speaker 1: all have these cellphone stuctriers all the time. We're all
Speaker 1: going to get cancer from that. So, yeah, I see
Speaker 1: what you're saying. That is a it's a balance, and
Speaker 1: you've got to find a balance you can live with.
Speaker 1: And here's the thing. I know, it's weird. I know what.
Speaker 1: Everything about me is incredibly weird. I'm the first person
Speaker 1: to admit that, like, nothing about me is normal. In
Speaker 1: a lot of those ways, But that's fine. Like I'm
Speaker 1: not I'm not pretending to be normal. I'm not pretending
Speaker 1: to be like a person who eats three meals there,
Speaker 1: and you're very outpouring with your weirdness and your extreme viewpoints.
Speaker 1: And they're unique and some people take them, some people
Speaker 1: leave them. But that's a fun topic that we could
Speaker 1: do some days. What makes you weird? Because everybody has
Speaker 1: a thing that makes them weird. Like I, when I'm
Speaker 1: in bed, I can't have my knees touch you. Put
Speaker 1: a pillow between the pillow between my legs because I
Speaker 1: can't do what. It drives me crazy. No body part
Speaker 1: can touch any other body part ever, and it bothers me.
Speaker 1: Like your feet, you're just like staggerum No, but blanket
Speaker 1: between my feet? Uh. And and later years later, I
Speaker 1: found out my sister is the exact same way, which
Speaker 1: surprised me. Like she will literally put something between her
Speaker 1: breast when she sleeps because she can't have her boob
Speaker 1: touch you, just like I am with my knees. So
Speaker 1: that's an interesting thing in our family. I'm so intrigued
Speaker 1: as to what she puts between there. They make question
Speaker 1: there are people like this, so they make things. They
Speaker 1: make like a little thing you can put in there. Okay,
Speaker 1: so Leslie, Erica, what makes you weird? What is and
Speaker 1: doesn't have to be in bad doesn't have to be dietary.
Speaker 1: Just there's got to be something some routine you do
Speaker 1: on a regular basis that you know is silly, but
Speaker 1: you do it anyway. I have to uncross my legs
Speaker 1: before touchdown in an airplane, which seems like almost every
Speaker 1: day or weekly, and then that might not be so weird,
Speaker 1: but that's interesting. It weirds me out that if we crash,
Speaker 1: I want to be in like the perfect position to live.
Speaker 1: You know that's smart. I don't want I don't want
Speaker 1: my head to hit my knees or whatever. So I'm
Speaker 1: I'm all in crossed and uh and ready to ready
Speaker 1: for back. But that's a good superstitions fallow to this category, Erica.
Speaker 1: I will have to come back on this. I know superstitions. No,
Speaker 1: I'm a pretty like wake up and like I don't know,
Speaker 1: get to work somehow and like your bedrooms a mess
Speaker 1: a freaking design. Refused to hang anything up in the closet.
Speaker 1: This is rude. You've never betted. I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: think of the things that might make you weird. You
Speaker 1: lay in bed and drink beer while you watch this
Speaker 1: is us. No, No, this is a one time situation.
Speaker 1: I had a beer in my fridge and I drank
Speaker 1: it because I didn't have wine, and I was watching
Speaker 1: this like this literally happened one time, and he brings
Speaker 1: this up almost every day. I don't usually drink beer
Speaker 1: in bed, sir, Okay, I will think, on my are
Speaker 1: you saying this weird O c D thing? Where? Um,
Speaker 1: Like if I was like walking through a gate or something,
Speaker 1: and I didn't fully like close the gate, and I
Speaker 1: walked like even like fifty yards away, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I can't close that gate all the way. I really
Speaker 1: would have to turn around, go back, like open the gate,
Speaker 1: and then close the gate all the way and then
Speaker 1: I would be comfortable like with that enough to move on.
Speaker 1: It was like a weird like like legitimate O c
Speaker 1: D for a long time. Or like if I like
Speaker 1: was walking and I saw like a piece of trash
Speaker 1: on the sidewalk and I walked past it like fifty
Speaker 1: yards and I had just like I would stop in
Speaker 1: my tracks and be like, darna, I have to turn
Speaker 1: around and go pick up that piece of trash and
Speaker 1: throw it away now. And a lot of it was
Speaker 1: like because I was like thinking that the things that
Speaker 1: I were doing like leading to better karma or something.
Speaker 1: When it's funny because if you act intentionally to have
Speaker 1: better karma, that's not what karma is. You know, you
Speaker 1: can't intentionally improve your karma. And my brother made mention
Speaker 1: of that at one point, and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're right, this is really weird. But I like, I
Speaker 1: wasn't able to get past it for a long time. Um,
Speaker 1: and that that doesn't happen anymore. CD is an interesting
Speaker 1: thing is I think everybody has it to some degree.
Speaker 1: What is that? Beef's this thing? It's fine, it's off.
Speaker 1: O c D is interesting because I think everyone has
Speaker 1: it to some degree, and I think you catch yourself like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: we don't want to do I don't want to go
Speaker 1: back and do that again, because then I am doing
Speaker 1: an O c D thing and you can stop yourself.
Speaker 1: And when you can't stop yourself, that's when you need
Speaker 1: help to fix the O c D. Yeah, but unfascinated
Speaker 1: by I wonder if that's genetic at all, because I
Speaker 1: remember when we were driving with Brad last weekend in Colorado,
Speaker 1: and he was like, Oh, this their gas tank because
Speaker 1: it is open, and it's just it's annoying me so badly.
Speaker 1: I feel like maybe it runs in the family. Maybe
Speaker 1: I used to do this thing too when I was
Speaker 1: probably twelve or thirteen, where if I was like sitting
Speaker 1: there like quietly, like watching TV or something, I would
Speaker 1: have to like make weird noises with my throat because
Speaker 1: I couldn't like sit quietly long enough. I would literally
Speaker 1: I would do that, like and like whenever I got
Speaker 1: quiet in the room, my brother would hear me do
Speaker 1: that and be like, what the hell are you doing.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know, Like I literally just I
Speaker 1: need to do it for my own comfortability. And like
Speaker 1: I moved away from a lot of those things, which
Speaker 1: is great, but I'm sure that I still have things
Speaker 1: maybe now that I don't realize that I'm doing. There's
Speaker 1: a lot of bizarre like that's that's what it's like, wow,
Speaker 1: And to fill the silence to feel good, like otherwise
Speaker 1: I was incredibly anxious and I would go and then
Speaker 1: wouldn't bet that it's kind of cute, Yeah, Eastern, go ahead,
Speaker 1: what makes you weird. I just wanted this out there. Um.
Speaker 1: From the years of two thousand and six to two
Speaker 1: thousand sixteen, I wore all blue every single Tuesday. It
Speaker 1: was called blue Tuesday, doing it to annoy a girlfriend
Speaker 1: when I was a senior in high school, and I
Speaker 1: said I will do this for ten years and then
Speaker 1: I will stop. In April one, sixteen, I retired it
Speaker 1: and it was kind of sad. It was wow, that
Speaker 1: is wild. It was a prison like I would have
Speaker 1: to plan everything around it. Like I got a job
Speaker 1: at an amusement park and I had to make sure
Speaker 1: I worked as a right operator because that uniform was
Speaker 1: blue like that. I seriously needed help for that one.
Speaker 1: I remember the day he retired at you told me
Speaker 1: today it's Tuesday. I'm not wearing blue, and I love it.
Speaker 1: And you know that you did that for a decade.
Speaker 1: I would run into it like years later and she'd
Speaker 1: see me and feel like, you're wearing all It's Tuesday.
Speaker 1: I don't think she knows I did it for a
Speaker 1: full decade. Janine Bray for listening. That is so interesting.
Speaker 1: You know what you know when you're in a group
Speaker 1: of people, like at a retreat or whatever it may be,
Speaker 1: and they're like, all right, let's go around the room
Speaker 1: and name something that nobody else knows about you. That
Speaker 1: is the best answer ever. It's a good one. Those
Speaker 1: are always the hardest questions, remember using I have to
Speaker 1: use to do that at like new offices or new
Speaker 1: jobs and every sort. Like, what's one thing though us
Speaker 1: know about you? It's hard. I don't know. And if
Speaker 1: they if you don't know what I mean, it's probably
Speaker 1: because I don't want you to know it about me.
Speaker 1: That's that's true. I feel like everybody, I can't ask
Speaker 1: you that there right now because everybody knows. You've had
Speaker 1: your podcast for X amount of months now, everybody knows
Speaker 1: a lot about you. There are some things that people
Speaker 1: don't know about me, But do you not want them
Speaker 1: to know? Okay, bye? Today I learn you make weird sounds.
Speaker 1: That is a good one. The very first night that
Speaker 1: listen I spent together off camera, I told her my deepest,
Speaker 1: darkest secret. That's true, but I'm gonna leave that between
Speaker 1: me and you. So that's something that will never be
Speaker 1: on the podcast. That one absolutely well, probably not. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, it's up to you, but we
Speaker 1: do a hundred. It will be the hundred episode. We'll
Speaker 1: do that, I think. Okay, So thank you for listening
Speaker 1: to the twenty three episode of Help I Suck at Dating.
Speaker 1: Be sure to keep those emails coming again. The email
Speaker 1: address is I Suck at Dating at iHeart media dot com.
Speaker 1: I wish I could express fully how much I enjoy you,
Speaker 1: guys emailing in UM A lot of these questions and
Speaker 1: situations that you have that you deal with, because it's
Speaker 1: nice to know that, you know, even if you don't
Speaker 1: take the advice that we give you, it's nice to
Speaker 1: know that people are at least um inquiring and hoping
Speaker 1: to do better with all that kind of stuff. Big
Speaker 1: thank you to Leslie and Murphy, who I'm sure you'll
Speaker 1: hear again on this podcast. All thanks guys. Round three
Speaker 1: was just as fun as round one. Round three. I
Speaker 1: will close round two and a half because I think
Speaker 1: the first one was a half round and then you
Speaker 1: were finally kind of you know, Erica, anything on Facebook? Yet?
Speaker 1: One last check before we go with a good doctor
Speaker 1: quote a TV show. Um, it's not looking like it,
Speaker 1: I think, Nope, guys, it's fine. It's the middle of
Speaker 1: the day. He should be at work. He should be
Speaker 1: at work, but that'll do it for this week's episode
Speaker 1: to Help I Suck at Dating. Be sure to tune
Speaker 1: in next week, because maybe next week Eric is dating
Speaker 1: life will suck a little bit. Follow Help I Suck
Speaker 1: At Dating with Dean Anglert on I Heart Radio or
Speaker 1: subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.