Speaker 1: This is Amy and TJ Love Stories.
Speaker 2: Mary and Romayne join us now from Los Angeles. Welcome
Speaker 2: and thank you all for being with us. How are
Speaker 2: you doing. How're it to you today?
Speaker 3: We're good, Yeah, we're good, loving kind of la.
Speaker 1: Tell me this is wedding bliss still a thing for
Speaker 1: you guys? Is that a far fetched idea or wedding
Speaker 1: bliss is real?
Speaker 3: I will go first. Okay, So I think that we
Speaker 3: both have found our way in our relationship. I think
Speaker 3: it took a couple of years. We fought for a
Speaker 3: couple of years, and then now we're just like go
Speaker 3: to our own corners, like if we have that day,
Speaker 3: if we have something. We kind of found our way
Speaker 3: where we're like, Okay, I'm really tired, I gotta go
Speaker 3: to bed, or I'm like maybe I've got so much work.
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna stay in the office and we just
Speaker 3: go to our own separate corners and in the morning
Speaker 3: we're better.
Speaker 2: Now, how long have the two have you been married?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 2: Officially, I know you met and got married within a year,
Speaker 2: but how long have you been married?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 5: We used to it's been seven and halve.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm curious because we don't. We don't see that
Speaker 1: a lot. Usually it's the woman given the guy a
Speaker 1: hard time for not remembering. So, Mary, what are you
Speaker 1: the one who just said he's better remembering.
Speaker 3: I'm like such a guy. I am the absolute worst.
Speaker 3: I have those sense of time, my ADHD. I think
Speaker 3: my play part.
Speaker 5: I'm going to blame it on that.
Speaker 6: If it isn't that, I'm still gonna blame it on it.
Speaker 1: I never remember, no worries, just I was just curious. There,
Speaker 1: let's get to the official list. Now, we're going to
Speaker 1: go to our official list of the questions we asked
Speaker 1: every couple, and we started with this. Both of you
Speaker 1: know what. Romaine, I'll start with you on this one.
Speaker 1: Five words or less describe your relationship today.
Speaker 5: Uh?
Speaker 4: Well, I was still loving fun in.
Speaker 1: That was fine.
Speaker 5: That works.
Speaker 2: Loving fun can be intense. We'll take it.
Speaker 1: That's exactly fine.
Speaker 3: Mary.
Speaker 2: How about you?
Speaker 3: I think.
Speaker 6: Trusting also intense and.
Speaker 5: Frustrating appreciate.
Speaker 2: Uh what what makes it frustrating?
Speaker 3: Life? I think just life. We actually get along very
Speaker 3: very well. We always get along very well. We've learned
Speaker 3: to manage I think our lifestyles. But we have difficult
Speaker 3: lifestyles like I mean we are in the middle of, yeah,
Speaker 3: the public eye, where everyone's trying to tear us apart.
Speaker 3: Even production is trying to like twist like scenarios, and
Speaker 3: everyone has an opinion, and so we just get a
Speaker 3: backlash of a lot of things. I'm much more emotional
Speaker 3: than he is, and so I think everything very personally.
Speaker 3: He doesn't care at all, and so that. But we
Speaker 3: love each other so much. We actually have so much
Speaker 3: fun together. We get along so well. We just have
Speaker 3: like a weird.
Speaker 4: And it's happed to me so too. When I see
Speaker 4: her getting so afflicted by like stuff like that sometimes
Speaker 4: and then I don't really know what to say because
Speaker 4: I do not get affected by it.
Speaker 5: So sometimes I'm.
Speaker 4: Like, I don't want to look like, you know, you
Speaker 4: don't care, like I don't care, because I do.
Speaker 3: That's frustrating when it looks like it doesn't care. I'm like, really,
Speaker 3: I don't care, like I.
Speaker 4: Do, but by her being bothered by it than the
Speaker 4: actual fact, you know, And so you know, I don't
Speaker 4: know sometimes what to say. It's set in moments just
Speaker 4: because I don't want to look like I don't care.
Speaker 4: But I'm like, well, would you let those people want
Speaker 4: what are you gonna do? Because no matter who you are,
Speaker 4: what you say, always someone doesn't have something to say about.
Speaker 3: It's the French, right, I logically know that, but mostly
Speaker 3: it doesn't feel like that.
Speaker 1: So we weren't supposed to be giving advice, but on
Speaker 1: this one, just validate how she's feeling. You don't have
Speaker 1: to agree with how she's feeling, but just validate that.
Speaker 2: Yes, no, and we relate. We relate so much to
Speaker 2: what you all just said. We totally get it. It's
Speaker 2: you can we you can enjoy each other, you can
Speaker 2: have your relationship. But when it's in the public eye
Speaker 2: and it's constantly fodder and people are constantly scrutinizing everything,
Speaker 2: that puts a lot of strain on a relationship, and
Speaker 2: you would know and so, and you're you're being chronicled.
Speaker 2: I mean you've got camera. How often are cameras with
Speaker 2: you all basically in your relation relationship?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it makes it difficult. So I am proud
Speaker 3: of us for being able to just like actually be
Speaker 3: as happy as we are and just maintain our relationship.
Speaker 3: I mean, everybody has issues. Everybody, you know, just fights
Speaker 3: and bickers and stuff like that. But I feel like
Speaker 3: overall we're great. We get along very very well, we
Speaker 3: have a lot of fun, and I think overall that's
Speaker 3: where we are. But of course the public eye doesn't help.
Speaker 2: What the public eye the public God help you know
Speaker 2: least thing.
Speaker 1: Before we get back to the list, you all have
Speaker 1: brought up so many things we just want to talk
Speaker 1: to you all about. But we got back to the questions.
Speaker 1: But can I ask, if you take the cameras away,
Speaker 1: if you take the public eye part of it away,
Speaker 1: does your relationship improve? Is that really one of the
Speaker 1: main things, if not the thing that is causing so
Speaker 1: many problems?
Speaker 5: I think when.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, he also puts so much stress on her,
Speaker 4: especially Yeah, so I think in the every day life,
Speaker 4: you know, if you took it off, she's probably would
Speaker 4: be like so much less stressed.
Speaker 5: And then row you but like you know, or the
Speaker 5: comments and stuff like that, and then you know.
Speaker 3: I'm a perfectionist and I just I want to be
Speaker 3: the best like version of me and stuff, and when
Speaker 3: people say and do things, it just it bugs me
Speaker 3: so much. I hate conflict, I hate like fighting, I
Speaker 3: hate like drama, and so I'm in such the wrong industry.
Speaker 2: Reality TV might not be for you.
Speaker 3: So yeah, I get super stressed and this poor guy,
Speaker 3: but I love them.
Speaker 5: Thank you.
Speaker 1: We'll get back, We'll get back to the list and
Speaker 1: let's go. We're gonna go back down to the beginning here.
Speaker 1: Question we ask everybody, who of the two of you
Speaker 1: said I love you first?
Speaker 6: Me?
Speaker 3: Yeah, probably a.
Speaker 2: Very cool And how long before after you said I
Speaker 2: love you did you decide to get engaged?
Speaker 3: It wasn't very long. Well, we started dating a week
Speaker 3: after we met, and then we moved in together three
Speaker 3: months later, and then we got married six months later
Speaker 3: and then had our wedding like a year, a year
Speaker 3: and a half after die nice?
Speaker 1: How long I love you? How long after you started
Speaker 1: dating Romaine did you say I love you? And then
Speaker 1: how long Mary did you before you said it back?
Speaker 5: Christians? Was beginning?
Speaker 4: I will say three months, four months, like three nice months?
Speaker 1: Maybe right around moving time.
Speaker 2: Let's get together. And by the way, I love you.
Speaker 3: I think when you said it, I probably said it
Speaker 3: right very quickly afterwards, I don't. Yeah, we have a
Speaker 3: very fast relationship.
Speaker 2: Hey, you know what what is I know we talked
Speaker 2: a little bit about already the stress of the public
Speaker 2: eye and the cameras. But do you all have like
Speaker 2: a daily disagreement that just gets under your skin or
Speaker 2: just an issue that you can't resolve that you've just
Speaker 2: learned to live with. That's great.
Speaker 5: Being And then.
Speaker 3: Like severe ADHD and.
Speaker 5: So very so.
Speaker 4: I love when she leaves again a couple just because
Speaker 4: the house is so perfect, but I missed her.
Speaker 5: And then as soon as she comes to say she's.
Speaker 2: Back, yes, teaching bud so I and I think I
Speaker 2: have ADHD undiagnosed, both of us. We relate.
Speaker 3: Okay, so see it works somehow.
Speaker 2: Have you all ever gotten to a place now at
Speaker 2: this point in your relationship and in your marriage where
Speaker 2: you've come close to or even considered breaking up and
Speaker 2: calling it quits.
Speaker 3: No, I think I've probably threatened. I'm like, you know what,
Speaker 3: But then but I definitely don't mean it and make
Speaker 3: up for it, like right after I say it, because
Speaker 3: I'm like, that was so dumb I.
Speaker 6: Said that, But but no, I don't think so. I
Speaker 6: don't think there's anything that's actually ever really tested us.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, let's talk about this.
Speaker 7: Then.
Speaker 1: How how often do you fight?
Speaker 5: Not that often?
Speaker 4: Because we also have like a little big different schedules really,
Speaker 4: so I leave early on the morning.
Speaker 5: She walks from home mostly, so I leave early on
Speaker 5: the morning and I come back.
Speaker 4: Pretty late, so we get to spend dinner and then
Speaker 4: a little bit but usually be there.
Speaker 3: Wait, but we we can long really well, like on
Speaker 3: weekends when you are home.
Speaker 5: I know, but that's something already.
Speaker 4: Most like we have a different schedule, so we don't
Speaker 4: get to see shows out that much, so you.
Speaker 5: Know, you don't have opportunities to fight. Yeah, exactly, No,
Speaker 5: over all we do, we do not.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I mean, we hear from a lot of
Speaker 2: couples that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and that
Speaker 2: is a part of the key to the success of
Speaker 2: their relationship is that they're not all up in each
Speaker 2: other's spaces all the time. But that actually is a
Speaker 2: good thing. We don't know anything about that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you.
Speaker 5: Have Do you have rules when you fight?
Speaker 1: I know, mayor you just said you you've said some
Speaker 1: things you probably shouldn't have said in the heat of battle.
Speaker 1: But we talked to some couples and said they absolutely
Speaker 1: don't use profanity, they don't threaten to leave and kinds
Speaker 1: of things. Do you'll have rules when you're getting heated.
Speaker 8: I think for the most part, we both just like
Speaker 8: go to our corners. Yeah, for the most part, I think,
Speaker 8: like the worst case scenario is like where he ignores
Speaker 8: me and I'm like, really, it's the worst Do.
Speaker 3: Not ignore me, Like please acknowledge what I'm saying right now.
Speaker 3: And he's like, I'm not gonna talk to you like this.
Speaker 5: I'm like, that's not what I get no matter what
Speaker 5: I say. Usually in those situations, no matter what I say,
Speaker 5: I'm wrong. So I'm like, you're not wrong.
Speaker 1: He's learning.
Speaker 5: I can tell you you're doing great.
Speaker 1: Brother. Let me ask, do you'll have this rule about it?
Speaker 1: Sounds like you all don't have it, but some couple
Speaker 1: say we refuse to go to bed angry. Some therapists
Speaker 1: will tell you to do that. Others will tell you
Speaker 1: not to do that. Yes, there, it is.
Speaker 3: Just that think it through, sleep it up, like like
Speaker 3: just in the morning. It's always different, like in the
Speaker 3: moment you're really mad or frustrated or whatever. And I
Speaker 3: think if you just like sleep on it, wake up
Speaker 3: in the morning and you think it through again, it's like, Okay,
Speaker 3: it's not I'm still like frustrated, but it's not that
Speaker 3: big of a deal, and so to me, I would
Speaker 3: rather sleep on it. I don't want to talk right then.
Speaker 3: Otherwise I would just keep going and going.
Speaker 7: And then he gets what he and he's so stummern
Speaker 7: he'll just like me, gets heels it and he'll just
Speaker 7: like we would. We would be horrible if we have
Speaker 7: that role, We would be absolutely horrible.
Speaker 2: How much time, how much space you need after that
Speaker 2: initial fight before you can actually come back together and
Speaker 2: talk it through.
Speaker 3: A couple of hours?
Speaker 2: All right, that's good.
Speaker 1: Have you all ever had to? Have you ever considered
Speaker 1: and have you ever been to couples therapy counseling of
Speaker 1: any kind?
Speaker 4: We did once, but there was for something, even not
Speaker 4: because it wasn't good.
Speaker 5: But what do you don't give?
Speaker 4: It's good sometime to talk out like you know stuff,
Speaker 4: but like also how we.
Speaker 3: We talked things through pretty well?
Speaker 2: What do you think about we've we've we've done some
Speaker 2: stories on a couple of famous couples, even George Clooney
Speaker 2: and the mall. I think Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift.
Speaker 2: They both said that they never have fought like they
Speaker 2: do not fight. What do you think about couples who
Speaker 2: don't fight. Do you think that's realistic?
Speaker 5: What?
Speaker 2: What are your thoughts on that? Because it makes the
Speaker 2: rest of us feel like ship.
Speaker 4: Well you're almost like, I mean, I know, well, it
Speaker 4: means that that one of them is the people pleaser.
Speaker 5: You know, I mean, like, do you have to oh
Speaker 5: the was that thing? That one of them.
Speaker 4: Isn't much opinion about anything, because it's impossible that the
Speaker 4: person is like exactly the same seat it was in
Speaker 4: the same way.
Speaker 9: But you can just respect each other and each other's
Speaker 9: differences and understand like where they're coming from.
Speaker 3: You don't have to agree with it, but you can
Speaker 3: understand it.
Speaker 10: And then you have to buy Yeah, what did we say?
Speaker 1: How many years of marriage?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 1: With seven and seven and a half? Seven and a half,
Speaker 1: all right, so you've been married that long? If you
Speaker 1: my question is what's been the best year so far?
Speaker 1: If you can't give me a specific year, then tell
Speaker 1: me this the beginning, the middle, or the end where
Speaker 1: you are right now? What was the best part of
Speaker 1: your marriage so far?
Speaker 5: But the beginning it's always like you know or like
Speaker 5: bubbly and like that.
Speaker 3: I think every time we're on vacation is the best
Speaker 3: are like so in love. The minute we go away,
Speaker 3: we're so in love. We have the best time. We
Speaker 3: just like reconnect and it's just immediate, but we just
Speaker 3: get so wrapped up in our lives and business and
Speaker 3: us and everything like that.
Speaker 4: You just you're just not disconnect but almost like you know,
Speaker 4: go a little are separate way. Until that's what we
Speaker 4: tried to do as much as possible likely get away.
Speaker 5: Or or try to you know, leave to go somewhere
Speaker 5: every time we can.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we get to reconnect and spend time actially together
Speaker 4: the property and so so that helps us.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, we've really made a point to at least
Speaker 3: at least once a year go on a big vacation
Speaker 3: and then a couple of times a year going like
Speaker 3: little staycations so that we can just or if we
Speaker 3: and I just told them the other day, I was like,
Speaker 3: maybe I think we need to get away because even
Speaker 3: like two days just going to Malibu or Santa Barbara
Speaker 3: or something like that, just get out of our normal
Speaker 3: routine or our normal like environment. It does wonders. It
Speaker 3: really does, like and I don't know why, because we're
Speaker 3: the same people and that shouldn't change anything, but it does.
Speaker 2: I actually think that's a great, a great sign because
Speaker 2: we love to people watch, and when you see a
Speaker 2: lot of couples on vacation, you don't see happy people.
Speaker 2: You see people separate, reading their books and not engaging
Speaker 2: on their phones. So it's cool, Like I feel like
Speaker 2: that's a really good sign that your favorite moments with
Speaker 2: each other are when you're alone and distracted. Most people
Speaker 2: choose the district.
Speaker 3: I absolutely chairiship, because that's that's if we could live
Speaker 3: our entire life like that, we would be probably the
Speaker 3: happiest couple on earth.
Speaker 11: But we don't have that life so like in our
Speaker 11: own way, and so we have business schedules, different, different schedule,
Speaker 11: and so it's true that it's not and we respect
Speaker 11: that so much about each other or hard we work,
Speaker 11: but so you know, eventually, with time, you know, we
Speaker 11: go a little bit o ways.
Speaker 4: And then so when we get to spend actually more
Speaker 4: time together properly and you know, go to be together,
Speaker 4: wake up together every day, and then so that's much
Speaker 4: easier to reconnect.
Speaker 1: Tell me that, what do you all think about the
Speaker 1: idea of date nights. A lot of couples have a
Speaker 1: set day Thursday. We always do it Friday. What do
Speaker 1: you all just think about the idea of it?
Speaker 5: All the worse people?
Speaker 3: Okay, So I am such an introvert. I do not
Speaker 3: like I have that I have to put on my
Speaker 3: work hat and my my personal hat, and I can't
Speaker 3: go on date nights because if people look at us
Speaker 3: and listen and stuff like that, I feel so uncomfortable.
Speaker 3: It was like, I have to have my workout on
Speaker 3: to be able to go out and be And I
Speaker 3: love meeting people. I love like being out doing stuff,
Speaker 3: but I have to have I'm so private. I guess
Speaker 3: I just I have to have boundaries. And when we
Speaker 3: go out, like I need to go, I need to go,
Speaker 3: I'm like, I can't do it. So we don't really
Speaker 3: go on date nights.
Speaker 2: So if if if your love just blossoms and flourishes
Speaker 2: on vacation when you're at home and the mundane life
Speaker 2: just starts eating away at you, I'm curious how you
Speaker 2: divvy up responsibilities in your house? Who does the cooking,
Speaker 2: who does the cleaning, who does the laundry? How do
Speaker 2: you figure that out?
Speaker 5: I wish that really likely.
Speaker 4: When it's small, I would say, like, you know, it's small,
Speaker 4: depending on our schedule, and then who has time. But
Speaker 4: usually we're pretty good at you know, whoever has the
Speaker 4: time to do the laundry.
Speaker 5: I'm doing mother cleaning usually, but she.
Speaker 4: Even though she's the one thing at home, but no,
Speaker 4: the wors for laundry and then cooking and everything. She
Speaker 4: happens a couple of times that I come home and
Speaker 4: then she gets she sometimes she cooked something, but I order, I.
Speaker 3: Order everything, and I have been delivered, to be fair.
Speaker 4: Sometimes it's one times burn and egg, and so I'm like, okay,
Speaker 4: safer for me.
Speaker 5: We had a couple of things she does amazingly, but
Speaker 5: you know, keep it sure.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And of course we asked every couple of this
Speaker 1: as well. How do you divvy up finances in the house?
Speaker 1: One account, two accounts, three accounts? How does it work
Speaker 1: for you guys?
Speaker 3: We have sparate account we have. My ex husband kind
Speaker 3: of traumatized me from that, and so I found bankruptcy
Speaker 3: and had to do all these things like he saw
Speaker 3: all the money and stuff like that, and and wracked
Speaker 3: up a bunch of stuff in my name, and so
Speaker 3: I will not share an account with anybody ever again.
Speaker 3: And I was like, maybe I love you. I trust you,
Speaker 3: but just for peace of mind, I need my own
Speaker 3: separate accounts. We can share like expenses, we can do
Speaker 3: different things, but I cannot allow that to happen again
Speaker 3: like it was, which.
Speaker 5: I didn't account because for me, I mean like I
Speaker 5: never thought it, you know. And then I was up
Speaker 5: to you know, keeping like.
Speaker 4: This because we had an account we opened and together
Speaker 4: TAAs and then you know, if we received some extracuse,
Speaker 4: but use it.
Speaker 3: Yes, you just have separate, separate expenses. We share certain expenses,
Speaker 3: but we just have separate accounts.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yep, very modern way. And once you've been burned once,
Speaker 2: that makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 2: When it comes to family, I know you all have
Speaker 2: been very open about your fertility journey, but how important
Speaker 2: is it for you right now to have kids together?
Speaker 4: We've got you're for a baby.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we tried, and unfortunately, I mean, I don't think
Speaker 3: that's in the cards for us. I have a septum
Speaker 3: in the middle of my uterus and I didn't know that.
Speaker 3: I have no idea how I had my son because
Speaker 3: it's basically your miracle. But they said I can't carry
Speaker 3: a child, a child full term unless I have it removed. However,
Speaker 3: it would take so like it would have scar tissue
Speaker 3: and it takes along the heel. And I'm already forty five,
Speaker 3: so it's not really going to happen unless we adopt
Speaker 3: or something like that. But he's been very very understanding,
Speaker 3: thank god. So yeah, that's where we're at.
Speaker 1: But is that something at the beginning of your relationship
Speaker 1: and your marriage was something that was very important and
Speaker 1: you all talked about, we're gonna go for this, Well.
Speaker 5: We uh did no, really, I mean she knew that
Speaker 5: I wanted and then.
Speaker 3: I didn't really want to in the beginning. But if
Speaker 3: I had my son when I was fifteen, and like
Speaker 3: I've been there, done that, but then I was like, okay,
Speaker 3: you know what, let's do it because I want to
Speaker 3: make him happy. I wanted the family with him.
Speaker 5: But now you know, yeah, and I didn't.
Speaker 4: I never also wanted to press on her in a
Speaker 4: way that she would be boy that I would leave,
Speaker 4: for example, if you know, she would not be okay
Speaker 4: to have babies or could not, so you know, it
Speaker 4: was it was.
Speaker 5: That which wired the Unfortunately we couldn't. And so if
Speaker 5: this whole process, you know, we'll take sometimes and then
Speaker 5: doesn't even mean that after that we still will be
Speaker 5: able to, you know, get one so and but she
Speaker 5: forgot this little boy.
Speaker 2: No, And I know so many couples appreciate just you
Speaker 2: being vulnerable and open about that because this it's people
Speaker 2: think it's just an assumption that you can and it's
Speaker 2: not always the case. So like, there are a million
Speaker 2: things that happen, and and look, there's an age difference
Speaker 2: between the twov there's an age difference between us as well.
Speaker 2: I'm the older I'm the older woman, you're the older woman.
Speaker 2: There's is it twelve years we are well, I say
Speaker 2: four years, he says five. We're exactly four and I'm
Speaker 2: four and a half years older than here. The age
Speaker 2: difference between you all is twelve years thirteen thirteen. And
Speaker 2: how has that impacted, if at all, your relationship or
Speaker 2: at least even what people say about your relationship.
Speaker 3: Well, people always have something to say, so now not
Speaker 3: why it much, But I don't think that we have.
Speaker 3: We don't see it just as a couple. We don't
Speaker 3: see the age difference. Besides, when it comes to I
Speaker 3: think the child thing and where I'm like, I'm forty five,
Speaker 3: I mean it's it's just it's it really limits you.
Speaker 3: And he's so young enough that that's where we see it.
Speaker 3: Otherwise he's very mature.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and we have a first starting and everything, especially
Speaker 5: when and then he's a.
Speaker 3: Gold digger and like I'm an old tag and all
Speaker 3: these things. Like everybody just has things to say. But
Speaker 3: once they saw us get married, once they saw like
Speaker 3: other things happened. Now they're nicer about it.
Speaker 5: But so many people were saying, like, oh, I was
Speaker 5: working for you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, people are pretty but yeah.
Speaker 4: So many people were thinking that it was just for
Speaker 4: the money, for the fame.
Speaker 5: That well he won't and so that she was getting mad.
Speaker 5: I'm not for what you say.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't know mad about things they say.
Speaker 3: I get mad when they say things about him. I'm like,
Speaker 3: that's not true.
Speaker 5: I mean they don't know us. Well.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well and so and then how much of that
Speaker 2: was Did your families have anything to say about it?
Speaker 2: Did your friends have anything to say about it? Or
Speaker 2: is it just negative attention from the public.
Speaker 3: Uh? No, our families we both get along with each
Speaker 3: other's families very very well. We're very close. Uh, and yeah, we.
Speaker 9: Love each other's families. They love each other. We all
Speaker 9: spend a lot of time together, all of our friends.
Speaker 3: Yeah they love him, like, yeah, we all that. That
Speaker 3: was never a problem. It's just it's just the public.
Speaker 1: And tell tell us now about the role of friendship
Speaker 1: in your relationship. Robes and I were absolutely on hundred
Speaker 1: best friends before we ever started dating, and a lot
Speaker 1: of couples get together and then after a few years
Speaker 1: or something said yeah, this is my best friend. Tell me, though,
Speaker 1: what the role of friendship, what it plays in your relationship.
Speaker 3: Well, I think it's really important.
Speaker 4: You want to be able to be like to be
Speaker 4: like confidence and then of like you know.
Speaker 3: Comfortable and everything like that. I think it's like because
Speaker 3: I feel like lost when you first meet somebody that
Speaker 3: goes away, like like after a while, you want to
Speaker 3: keep like the fire burning and do all these things.
Speaker 3: But that initial just lust because a way you have
Speaker 3: to have a foundation, a base, and and that like
Speaker 3: best friend, you want to tell them everything. You want
Speaker 3: to be with them all the time. That's who you
Speaker 3: come home and you want by your side, and so
Speaker 3: I think I think that has to be there really
Speaker 3: for a sustainable relationship. I think you have to have
Speaker 3: a friendship, like a very close friendship, otherwise.
Speaker 5: You're not gonna want to I don't know.
Speaker 3: Maybe some people are like yeah.
Speaker 4: But I feel like, yeah, you want to see the
Speaker 4: person constantly that you're happy and we there to come
Speaker 4: home like you just knowing that you're gonna see them,
Speaker 4: and yeah that matters.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean.
Speaker 3: Like a good friendship. It's weird, like, is it still
Speaker 3: the same as when you first met.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's weird for us that I actually say to
Speaker 1: her sometimes, can we just be friends today? Like we
Speaker 1: had so much time as a friendship that then the
Speaker 1: romantic relationship is a bonus and it's nice. But I
Speaker 1: like hanging out with my best friend and being strictly
Speaker 1: a buddy. Yes, she was my best friend before we
Speaker 1: ever started dating, so we were.
Speaker 2: He was the person I was like, if I could
Speaker 2: do anything with like go to a movie, go to
Speaker 2: a concert, go and do anything, sit at a school
Speaker 2: board meeting, He'd be the person who I wanted to
Speaker 2: sit next to me regardless, just as a friend. Because
Speaker 2: we cut up together. We have the same sense of
Speaker 2: dark humor. I think that has been one of the
Speaker 2: connective days for us. But yeah, so even like maybe
Speaker 2: when we are fighting or we're not great romantically, it's like,
Speaker 2: can we just be friends today, go back to the
Speaker 2: friendship thing right because the romance thing is complicating things
Speaker 2: right now, and we just be friends right now.
Speaker 3: But that's where we're solid.
Speaker 2: It's true, though, it's awesome.
Speaker 3: I love that.
Speaker 2: It's comforting. I think in those moments when it comes
Speaker 2: to romance though, because that still is obviously a very
Speaker 2: important part of being in a relationship. How what do
Speaker 2: you do? Do you do anything to actively try to
Speaker 2: keep the spark alive?
Speaker 4: But as I feel like what we say, like we said,
Speaker 4: it's like one we travel and everything we became, we
Speaker 4: always like come back and be much closer with each
Speaker 4: other and like fun even more, you know, like you
Speaker 4: get back like a you know, attraction and then you
Speaker 4: know when I see that person more and you know,
Speaker 4: you might team together, you know, just to be able
Speaker 4: to spend time and go eat together, experience new stuff
Speaker 4: so you know, and discover a new places, you know
Speaker 4: if you travel, you know oversea.
Speaker 5: So I think that's what you know gets us like
Speaker 5: much closer.
Speaker 3: And yeah, and there's part of it is all on
Speaker 3: me because I have like trauma from something that happened before.
Speaker 3: So I have to go back to therapy and do
Speaker 3: different things sometimes because of something that happened. So when
Speaker 3: I start feeling I'm like, yeah, yeah, that Thomas kicking back,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, I gotta.
Speaker 1: Something happens with you that you know is impacting your
Speaker 1: relationship with Romaine. So you go get it checked out.
Speaker 1: What is that thing?
Speaker 5: Well, I was.
Speaker 3: Raped and so that how does that impact your relationship now?
Speaker 1: Yeah with Romayne, even though you've been married seven plus years.
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, but it's it's not anything And then E
Speaker 7: M D R and stuff like that, because it's not anything.
Speaker 3: I it's it's just like a physical reaction. It's not
Speaker 3: anything that has anything to do with him. He's the
Speaker 3: best guy ever and so patient and so like. But
Speaker 3: it's just a physical response that your body just holds
Speaker 3: on to trauma and you just have to, like I
Speaker 3: do I realize sometimes I'm like, oh, I if he
Speaker 3: comes up and just like and I just like jump,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, wait, that makes him feel bad and
Speaker 3: and I don't mean to like, it's just a response
Speaker 3: from something that happened. And so I you know, when
Speaker 3: I feel it starting to like increase more. Sometimes it's
Speaker 3: totally fine, and then I think after my book, like
Speaker 3: it got much worse because I hadn't just keep talking
Speaker 3: about it and reliving it, reliving it over and over.
Speaker 3: But but he's very patient and and I try to
Speaker 3: be very very aware of when I do it, because
Speaker 3: I was not aware that I was doing it before.
Speaker 2: So they're basically, thank you so much for that answer.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to.
Speaker 5: Get us nothing.
Speaker 1: Thank you for being honest about it.
Speaker 2: I'm just like honest about about and once again, obviously
Speaker 2: that is super helpful to so many people who are
Speaker 2: survivors and drivers despite that, and it does seep into
Speaker 2: your relationship. Anything you've been through you bring with you,
Speaker 2: You bring that trauma with you, and so that's I
Speaker 2: think that's amazing. You talk about it, You're getting therapy
Speaker 2: constantly for it. I'm always in therapy as well. I'm
Speaker 2: a work in progress, I'm always always I'm the same way.
Speaker 2: So it's I think it's important to let people know
Speaker 2: that it's okay, Like we all have and it's different
Speaker 2: layers and different versions of it. But I appreciate the
Speaker 2: fact that you're so open about it. I think that's incredible.
Speaker 2: What do you think? Could you? Guys? Even I don't
Speaker 2: know if there's a way to sum it up, because
Speaker 2: everyone wants to look at a couple like you and
Speaker 2: say I want to be like them, I want their relationship.
Speaker 2: I want to be as successful and as happy and
Speaker 2: as in love as they are. What would you say
Speaker 2: the key to your relationship success is what advice would
Speaker 2: you give other couples?
Speaker 3: I think probably in my opinion, it's like appreciate and
Speaker 3: respect the person for who they are, Like you can't change,
Speaker 3: you don't want to change, and you don't want to
Speaker 3: like you have to love and respect them and accept
Speaker 3: your partner for who they are. Because then it's like
Speaker 3: compromises all and stuff that that's all like small things
Speaker 3: that come along with it.
Speaker 4: But when I evolve, you know, together as you are
Speaker 4: in the relationships, you learn or to how to walk together,
Speaker 4: or to live together and stuff like that. So these
Speaker 4: things that you're going to be able to manage and
Speaker 4: and you know, evolve a little bit about the relationship.
Speaker 4: But I'm patient, Yeah, ultimately, like you know, you're not
Speaker 4: going with someone like thinking, Okay, I'm gonna compare to
Speaker 4: change that person and I want her to do this
Speaker 4: and that and that.
Speaker 5: So you have to be okay with who they are
Speaker 5: at first, and you know.
Speaker 1: Let me try it on the flip side of the
Speaker 1: way she asked it. That was the key to you
Speaker 1: all success. That's working for you all as you all
Speaker 1: look at other couples and you see them, what do
Speaker 1: you see other couples the mistakes that they are making,
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh my god, come on, even maybe
Speaker 1: some couples that are out there in the public eye,
Speaker 1: maybe friends around you. But if you had a chance
Speaker 1: to talk to every couple in the country right now,
Speaker 1: you will don't make this mistake? What would you tell
Speaker 1: them to stop doing?
Speaker 3: Don't? I don't know if I have an opinion. Everybody
Speaker 3: is different. You don't have an opinion. I'm sure.
Speaker 4: I'm trying to think about it's who I'm like, I
Speaker 4: don't really, I don't care, but like, you know, what
Speaker 4: you want.
Speaker 5: Like everyone's business.
Speaker 4: So I'm like, you know, if someone asks me what
Speaker 4: we do and stuff like that, you know, I can
Speaker 4: straighten my pinion. But I usually don't like try to
Speaker 4: get into people's business, you know what I mean, unless
Speaker 4: they ask me their opinion, but something.
Speaker 5: But otherwise, just like you know, you do you do me.
Speaker 3: I guess the only thing I can think of off the
Speaker 3: top of my head is like when you try to
Speaker 3: control the couples try to control each other. I think
Speaker 3: that's just a recipe for disaster. Like you have to
Speaker 3: give each other space. You have to let each other
Speaker 3: be who who you are and and respect that and
Speaker 3: don't respect each other's time away. Like I just went
Speaker 3: with my sister.
Speaker 12: I was like, mabe, I'm gonna go with my sister
Speaker 12: to the mountains and he's like when I was like tomorrow, okay,
Speaker 12: but it works, like and it's really real first and
Speaker 12: he goes skiing with the boys and stuff like that too.
Speaker 3: You just need that time. You just have to give
Speaker 3: each other, I think, freedom to just beat yourselves to
Speaker 3: to have fun. You can't control the other person otherwise
Speaker 3: it just I think it backfires. The more you try
Speaker 3: to control, the more like you lose.
Speaker 5: You have to have respect, especially me as a guy.
Speaker 5: You know, for girls like this, stuff like that that will.
Speaker 4: Never agree with, like you know what people do, will
Speaker 4: say or do that, it's just because you should respect it.
Speaker 5: You know a girl then so I think this is
Speaker 5: really important.
Speaker 2: We have absolutely loved talking to the two of you.
Speaker 2: It's been so fun just to hear how you navigate
Speaker 2: life and the spotlight and all the pressure, the age difference.
Speaker 2: But I think this is all. But it's it's inspiring
Speaker 2: to see two people come together and figure from two
Speaker 2: different parts of the world, two different cultures. It's inspiring
Speaker 2: to see how you all make it work.
Speaker 1: What are the couple goals for twenty twenty six?
Speaker 3: A couple of goals for twenty twenty six as a couple.
Speaker 1: What are your goals for twenty twenty six?
Speaker 3: That's what our goal always is. And Safari, Yeah, that's
Speaker 3: a really big one that we want to do. It's
Speaker 3: always traveled because we just.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we have making times to get it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you and but it opens our eyes to.
Speaker 5: We love traveling like new things, new places, new food,
Speaker 5: new people.
Speaker 1: So it's so yeah, So because that's fantastic. You will
Speaker 1: you will in you work this hard, but fun is
Speaker 1: a priority and being together away from all this is
Speaker 1: a priority and that we absolutely respect. And you all
Speaker 1: have set a couple goal for us for twenty twenty six.
Speaker 1: We look up to you all for that reason we're
Speaker 1: trying to do more of that ourselves. So congrats on
Speaker 1: everything that's and that continues to come your way.
Speaker 5: It is an absolute treat to.
Speaker 2: Talk to you too, you too, Are you all really quickly?
Speaker 5: Are you all doing?
Speaker 2: Is it season ten of Selling Sunset?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's happening next month in March.
Speaker 2: All right, well, good luck with all that work life balance.
Speaker 1: We're gonna be watching closer now that we know you
Speaker 1: guys looking for little things in the show
Speaker 3: Now much loved you both, Thank you, thank you.