1 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:06,880 Speaker 1: This is Amy and TJ Love Stories. 2 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:19,680 Speaker 2: Mary and Romayne join us now from Los Angeles. Welcome 3 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:21,920 Speaker 2: and thank you all for being with us. How are 4 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,079 Speaker 2: you doing. How're it to you today? 5 00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:32,159 Speaker 3: We're good, Yeah, we're good, loving kind of la. 6 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:35,080 Speaker 1: Tell me this is wedding bliss still a thing for 7 00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:38,080 Speaker 1: you guys? Is that a far fetched idea or wedding 8 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:38,920 Speaker 1: bliss is real? 9 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:52,040 Speaker 3: I will go first. Okay, So I think that we 10 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:57,400 Speaker 3: both have found our way in our relationship. I think 11 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:01,840 Speaker 3: it took a couple of years. We fought for a 12 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:05,560 Speaker 3: couple of years, and then now we're just like go 13 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:09,039 Speaker 3: to our own corners, like if we have that day, 14 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:11,560 Speaker 3: if we have something. We kind of found our way 15 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:15,560 Speaker 3: where we're like, Okay, I'm really tired, I gotta go 16 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:18,320 Speaker 3: to bed, or I'm like maybe I've got so much work. 17 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 3: I'm just gonna stay in the office and we just 18 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:24,160 Speaker 3: go to our own separate corners and in the morning 19 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:24,640 Speaker 3: we're better. 20 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:28,000 Speaker 2: Now, how long have the two have you been married? 21 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:28,280 Speaker 4: Now? 22 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:30,680 Speaker 2: Officially, I know you met and got married within a year, 23 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:33,040 Speaker 2: but how long have you been married? 24 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:38,640 Speaker 3: Uh? 25 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:40,840 Speaker 5: We used to it's been seven and halve. 26 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:44,760 Speaker 1: Okay, I'm curious because we don't. We don't see that 27 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,600 Speaker 1: a lot. Usually it's the woman given the guy a 28 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:50,200 Speaker 1: hard time for not remembering. So, Mary, what are you 29 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 1: the one who just said he's better remembering. 30 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:59,360 Speaker 3: I'm like such a guy. I am the absolute worst. 31 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 3: I have those sense of time, my ADHD. I think 32 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:03,960 Speaker 3: my play part. 33 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:05,160 Speaker 5: I'm going to blame it on that. 34 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:09,120 Speaker 6: If it isn't that, I'm still gonna blame it on it. 35 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:15,520 Speaker 1: I never remember, no worries, just I was just curious. There, 36 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,600 Speaker 1: let's get to the official list. Now, we're going to 37 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 1: go to our official list of the questions we asked 38 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,840 Speaker 1: every couple, and we started with this. Both of you 39 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,760 Speaker 1: know what. Romaine, I'll start with you on this one. 40 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:29,600 Speaker 1: Five words or less describe your relationship today. 41 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:35,919 Speaker 5: Uh? 42 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:41,120 Speaker 4: Well, I was still loving fun in. 43 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 1: That was fine. 44 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:48,600 Speaker 5: That works. 45 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 2: Loving fun can be intense. We'll take it. 46 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:53,480 Speaker 1: That's exactly fine. 47 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:54,680 Speaker 3: Mary. 48 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 2: How about you? 49 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:01,799 Speaker 3: I think. 50 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:11,960 Speaker 6: Trusting also intense and. 51 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:16,080 Speaker 5: Frustrating appreciate. 52 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:21,440 Speaker 2: Uh what what makes it frustrating? 53 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:29,280 Speaker 3: Life? I think just life. We actually get along very 54 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:32,400 Speaker 3: very well. We always get along very well. We've learned 55 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 3: to manage I think our lifestyles. But we have difficult 56 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:43,640 Speaker 3: lifestyles like I mean we are in the middle of, yeah, 57 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 3: the public eye, where everyone's trying to tear us apart. 58 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:51,320 Speaker 3: Even production is trying to like twist like scenarios, and 59 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:55,600 Speaker 3: everyone has an opinion, and so we just get a 60 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:59,400 Speaker 3: backlash of a lot of things. I'm much more emotional 61 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:03,160 Speaker 3: than he is, and so I think everything very personally. 62 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 3: He doesn't care at all, and so that. But we 63 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,160 Speaker 3: love each other so much. We actually have so much 64 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:14,680 Speaker 3: fun together. We get along so well. We just have 65 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:18,560 Speaker 3: like a weird. 66 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:22,719 Speaker 4: And it's happed to me so too. When I see 67 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,640 Speaker 4: her getting so afflicted by like stuff like that sometimes 68 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:28,839 Speaker 4: and then I don't really know what to say because 69 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:31,039 Speaker 4: I do not get affected by it. 70 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:32,599 Speaker 5: So sometimes I'm. 71 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:35,240 Speaker 4: Like, I don't want to look like, you know, you 72 00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 4: don't care, like I don't care, because I do. 73 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:41,760 Speaker 3: That's frustrating when it looks like it doesn't care. I'm like, really, 74 00:04:42,279 --> 00:04:43,839 Speaker 3: I don't care, like I. 75 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:47,440 Speaker 4: Do, but by her being bothered by it than the 76 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 4: actual fact, you know, And so you know, I don't 77 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:53,479 Speaker 4: know sometimes what to say. It's set in moments just 78 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:55,320 Speaker 4: because I don't want to look like I don't care. 79 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 4: But I'm like, well, would you let those people want 80 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:01,840 Speaker 4: what are you gonna do? Because no matter who you are, 81 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,680 Speaker 4: what you say, always someone doesn't have something to say about. 82 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:11,560 Speaker 3: It's the French, right, I logically know that, but mostly 83 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:13,440 Speaker 3: it doesn't feel like that. 84 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,520 Speaker 1: So we weren't supposed to be giving advice, but on 85 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:22,279 Speaker 1: this one, just validate how she's feeling. You don't have 86 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:27,039 Speaker 1: to agree with how she's feeling, but just validate that. 87 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:32,800 Speaker 2: Yes, no, and we relate. We relate so much to 88 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:35,359 Speaker 2: what you all just said. We totally get it. It's 89 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:37,840 Speaker 2: you can we you can enjoy each other, you can 90 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:40,679 Speaker 2: have your relationship. But when it's in the public eye 91 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 2: and it's constantly fodder and people are constantly scrutinizing everything, 92 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:49,400 Speaker 2: that puts a lot of strain on a relationship, and 93 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:53,360 Speaker 2: you would know and so, and you're you're being chronicled. 94 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:56,640 Speaker 2: I mean you've got camera. How often are cameras with 95 00:05:56,839 --> 00:06:00,600 Speaker 2: you all basically in your relation relationship? 96 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:05,719 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it makes it difficult. So I am proud 97 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:09,960 Speaker 3: of us for being able to just like actually be 98 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 3: as happy as we are and just maintain our relationship. 99 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:18,159 Speaker 3: I mean, everybody has issues. Everybody, you know, just fights 100 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:21,479 Speaker 3: and bickers and stuff like that. But I feel like 101 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:28,159 Speaker 3: overall we're great. We get along very very well, we 102 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:31,560 Speaker 3: have a lot of fun, and I think overall that's 103 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:36,200 Speaker 3: where we are. But of course the public eye doesn't help. 104 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:40,320 Speaker 2: What the public eye the public God help you know 105 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:41,120 Speaker 2: least thing. 106 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:42,440 Speaker 1: Before we get back to the list, you all have 107 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,000 Speaker 1: brought up so many things we just want to talk 108 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,520 Speaker 1: to you all about. But we got back to the questions. 109 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,960 Speaker 1: But can I ask, if you take the cameras away, 110 00:06:49,279 --> 00:06:51,359 Speaker 1: if you take the public eye part of it away, 111 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:55,320 Speaker 1: does your relationship improve? Is that really one of the 112 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:58,240 Speaker 1: main things, if not the thing that is causing so 113 00:06:58,279 --> 00:06:59,320 Speaker 1: many problems? 114 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 5: I think when. 115 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, well, he also puts so much stress on her, 116 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,760 Speaker 4: especially Yeah, so I think in the every day life, 117 00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:10,239 Speaker 4: you know, if you took it off, she's probably would 118 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 4: be like so much less stressed. 119 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,760 Speaker 5: And then row you but like you know, or the 120 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,360 Speaker 5: comments and stuff like that, and then you know. 121 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 3: I'm a perfectionist and I just I want to be 122 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 3: the best like version of me and stuff, and when 123 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:28,880 Speaker 3: people say and do things, it just it bugs me 124 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:32,560 Speaker 3: so much. I hate conflict, I hate like fighting, I 125 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:36,600 Speaker 3: hate like drama, and so I'm in such the wrong industry. 126 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:40,000 Speaker 2: Reality TV might not be for you. 127 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,520 Speaker 3: So yeah, I get super stressed and this poor guy, 128 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:44,720 Speaker 3: but I love them. 129 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:45,480 Speaker 5: Thank you. 130 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 1: We'll get back, We'll get back to the list and 131 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 1: let's go. We're gonna go back down to the beginning here. 132 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:52,240 Speaker 1: Question we ask everybody, who of the two of you 133 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:53,840 Speaker 1: said I love you first? 134 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:54,920 Speaker 6: Me? 135 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:56,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, probably a. 136 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,800 Speaker 2: Very cool And how long before after you said I 137 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:03,720 Speaker 2: love you did you decide to get engaged? 138 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:14,000 Speaker 3: It wasn't very long. Well, we started dating a week 139 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:18,120 Speaker 3: after we met, and then we moved in together three 140 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:21,239 Speaker 3: months later, and then we got married six months later 141 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 3: and then had our wedding like a year, a year 142 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,640 Speaker 3: and a half after die nice? 143 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:32,400 Speaker 1: How long I love you? How long after you started 144 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:34,640 Speaker 1: dating Romaine did you say I love you? And then 145 00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:36,920 Speaker 1: how long Mary did you before you said it back? 146 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:40,640 Speaker 5: Christians? Was beginning? 147 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:45,679 Speaker 4: I will say three months, four months, like three nice months? 148 00:08:45,679 --> 00:08:47,800 Speaker 1: Maybe right around moving time. 149 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 2: Let's get together. And by the way, I love you. 150 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:58,280 Speaker 3: I think when you said it, I probably said it 151 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:05,080 Speaker 3: right very quickly afterwards, I don't. Yeah, we have a 152 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:06,280 Speaker 3: very fast relationship. 153 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:14,400 Speaker 2: Hey, you know what what is I know we talked 154 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:17,680 Speaker 2: a little bit about already the stress of the public 155 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:20,520 Speaker 2: eye and the cameras. But do you all have like 156 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:23,600 Speaker 2: a daily disagreement that just gets under your skin or 157 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 2: just an issue that you can't resolve that you've just 158 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:37,320 Speaker 2: learned to live with. That's great. 159 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,000 Speaker 5: Being And then. 160 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,160 Speaker 3: Like severe ADHD and. 161 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:50,040 Speaker 5: So very so. 162 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:53,520 Speaker 4: I love when she leaves again a couple just because 163 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:55,959 Speaker 4: the house is so perfect, but I missed her. 164 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:58,240 Speaker 5: And then as soon as she comes to say she's. 165 00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:03,760 Speaker 2: Back, yes, teaching bud so I and I think I 166 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:06,800 Speaker 2: have ADHD undiagnosed, both of us. We relate. 167 00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:10,960 Speaker 3: Okay, so see it works somehow. 168 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,240 Speaker 2: Have you all ever gotten to a place now at 169 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:19,280 Speaker 2: this point in your relationship and in your marriage where 170 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:23,000 Speaker 2: you've come close to or even considered breaking up and 171 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:27,560 Speaker 2: calling it quits. 172 00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:34,959 Speaker 3: No, I think I've probably threatened. I'm like, you know what, 173 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:40,960 Speaker 3: But then but I definitely don't mean it and make 174 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,800 Speaker 3: up for it, like right after I say it, because 175 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,280 Speaker 3: I'm like, that was so dumb I. 176 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:50,199 Speaker 6: Said that, But but no, I don't think so. I 177 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:57,239 Speaker 6: don't think there's anything that's actually ever really tested us. 178 00:10:57,720 --> 00:10:59,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, let's talk about this. 179 00:10:59,640 --> 00:10:59,760 Speaker 7: Then. 180 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:02,000 Speaker 1: How how often do you fight? 181 00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:05,079 Speaker 5: Not that often? 182 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:08,240 Speaker 4: Because we also have like a little big different schedules really, 183 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 4: so I leave early on the morning. 184 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:13,839 Speaker 5: She walks from home mostly, so I leave early on 185 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:15,000 Speaker 5: the morning and I come back. 186 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 4: Pretty late, so we get to spend dinner and then 187 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,319 Speaker 4: a little bit but usually be there. 188 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:22,760 Speaker 3: Wait, but we we can long really well, like on 189 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:24,400 Speaker 3: weekends when you are home. 190 00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:26,120 Speaker 5: I know, but that's something already. 191 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:28,680 Speaker 4: Most like we have a different schedule, so we don't 192 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:30,679 Speaker 4: get to see shows out that much, so you. 193 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:38,719 Speaker 5: Know, you don't have opportunities to fight. Yeah, exactly, No, 194 00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:40,520 Speaker 5: over all we do, we do not. 195 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I mean, we hear from a lot of 196 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:45,720 Speaker 2: couples that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and that 197 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:48,199 Speaker 2: is a part of the key to the success of 198 00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:50,959 Speaker 2: their relationship is that they're not all up in each 199 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,679 Speaker 2: other's spaces all the time. But that actually is a 200 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:56,000 Speaker 2: good thing. We don't know anything about that. 201 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:57,199 Speaker 1: Yeah, do you. 202 00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:59,280 Speaker 5: Have Do you have rules when you fight? 203 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,520 Speaker 1: I know, mayor you just said you you've said some 204 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:03,959 Speaker 1: things you probably shouldn't have said in the heat of battle. 205 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:06,280 Speaker 1: But we talked to some couples and said they absolutely 206 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 1: don't use profanity, they don't threaten to leave and kinds 207 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:14,400 Speaker 1: of things. Do you'll have rules when you're getting heated. 208 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:19,480 Speaker 8: I think for the most part, we both just like 209 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:25,880 Speaker 8: go to our corners. Yeah, for the most part, I think, 210 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:29,160 Speaker 8: like the worst case scenario is like where he ignores 211 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:33,880 Speaker 8: me and I'm like, really, it's the worst Do. 212 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:38,360 Speaker 3: Not ignore me, Like please acknowledge what I'm saying right now. 213 00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:41,320 Speaker 3: And he's like, I'm not gonna talk to you like this. 214 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:47,800 Speaker 5: I'm like, that's not what I get no matter what 215 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:51,080 Speaker 5: I say. Usually in those situations, no matter what I say, 216 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:54,280 Speaker 5: I'm wrong. So I'm like, you're not wrong. 217 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:56,600 Speaker 1: He's learning. 218 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,320 Speaker 5: I can tell you you're doing great. 219 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:02,240 Speaker 1: Brother. Let me ask, do you'll have this rule about it? 220 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:04,240 Speaker 1: Sounds like you all don't have it, but some couple 221 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,880 Speaker 1: say we refuse to go to bed angry. Some therapists 222 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:08,960 Speaker 1: will tell you to do that. Others will tell you 223 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,000 Speaker 1: not to do that. Yes, there, it is. 224 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:16,439 Speaker 3: Just that think it through, sleep it up, like like 225 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:19,800 Speaker 3: just in the morning. It's always different, like in the 226 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:25,000 Speaker 3: moment you're really mad or frustrated or whatever. And I 227 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:28,040 Speaker 3: think if you just like sleep on it, wake up 228 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:32,360 Speaker 3: in the morning and you think it through again, it's like, Okay, 229 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:35,640 Speaker 3: it's not I'm still like frustrated, but it's not that 230 00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:38,880 Speaker 3: big of a deal, and so to me, I would 231 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 3: rather sleep on it. I don't want to talk right then. 232 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:44,280 Speaker 3: Otherwise I would just keep going and going. 233 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:47,120 Speaker 7: And then he gets what he and he's so stummern 234 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,840 Speaker 7: he'll just like me, gets heels it and he'll just 235 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:53,800 Speaker 7: like we would. We would be horrible if we have 236 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,960 Speaker 7: that role, We would be absolutely horrible. 237 00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:59,439 Speaker 2: How much time, how much space you need after that 238 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,600 Speaker 2: initial fight before you can actually come back together and 239 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:03,719 Speaker 2: talk it through. 240 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:07,920 Speaker 3: A couple of hours? 241 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:09,200 Speaker 2: All right, that's good. 242 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:12,160 Speaker 1: Have you all ever had to? Have you ever considered 243 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,599 Speaker 1: and have you ever been to couples therapy counseling of 244 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:15,000 Speaker 1: any kind? 245 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:19,840 Speaker 4: We did once, but there was for something, even not 246 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:20,680 Speaker 4: because it wasn't good. 247 00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:27,760 Speaker 5: But what do you don't give? 248 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:30,640 Speaker 4: It's good sometime to talk out like you know stuff, 249 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:34,880 Speaker 4: but like also how we. 250 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:35,560 Speaker 3: We talked things through pretty well? 251 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:42,080 Speaker 2: What do you think about we've we've we've done some 252 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:45,320 Speaker 2: stories on a couple of famous couples, even George Clooney 253 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:48,320 Speaker 2: and the mall. I think Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift. 254 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:51,120 Speaker 2: They both said that they never have fought like they 255 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:54,680 Speaker 2: do not fight. What do you think about couples who 256 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,480 Speaker 2: don't fight. Do you think that's realistic? 257 00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:56,880 Speaker 5: What? 258 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:58,880 Speaker 2: What are your thoughts on that? Because it makes the 259 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:00,640 Speaker 2: rest of us feel like ship. 260 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:07,560 Speaker 4: Well you're almost like, I mean, I know, well, it 261 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:10,080 Speaker 4: means that that one of them is the people pleaser. 262 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:12,320 Speaker 5: You know, I mean, like, do you have to oh 263 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:13,760 Speaker 5: the was that thing? That one of them. 264 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:18,560 Speaker 4: Isn't much opinion about anything, because it's impossible that the 265 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,920 Speaker 4: person is like exactly the same seat it was in 266 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:21,560 Speaker 4: the same way. 267 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,480 Speaker 9: But you can just respect each other and each other's 268 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:27,880 Speaker 9: differences and understand like where they're coming from. 269 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:29,800 Speaker 3: You don't have to agree with it, but you can 270 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:30,680 Speaker 3: understand it. 271 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:49,680 Speaker 10: And then you have to buy Yeah, what did we say? 272 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:50,640 Speaker 1: How many years of marriage? 273 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:50,800 Speaker 4: Now? 274 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,680 Speaker 1: With seven and seven and a half? Seven and a half, 275 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:55,320 Speaker 1: all right, so you've been married that long? If you 276 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:58,600 Speaker 1: my question is what's been the best year so far? 277 00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:00,720 Speaker 1: If you can't give me a specific year, then tell 278 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:04,360 Speaker 1: me this the beginning, the middle, or the end where 279 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 1: you are right now? What was the best part of 280 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:08,240 Speaker 1: your marriage so far? 281 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,400 Speaker 5: But the beginning it's always like you know or like 282 00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:21,560 Speaker 5: bubbly and like that. 283 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:24,480 Speaker 3: I think every time we're on vacation is the best 284 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,560 Speaker 3: are like so in love. The minute we go away, 285 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:33,640 Speaker 3: we're so in love. We have the best time. We 286 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,840 Speaker 3: just like reconnect and it's just immediate, but we just 287 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:40,000 Speaker 3: get so wrapped up in our lives and business and 288 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:42,760 Speaker 3: us and everything like that. 289 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:46,000 Speaker 4: You just you're just not disconnect but almost like you know, 290 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,360 Speaker 4: go a little are separate way. Until that's what we 291 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:51,080 Speaker 4: tried to do as much as possible likely get away. 292 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:53,840 Speaker 5: Or or try to you know, leave to go somewhere 293 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:54,480 Speaker 5: every time we can. 294 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:58,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, we get to reconnect and spend time actially together 295 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,760 Speaker 4: the property and so so that helps us. 296 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:05,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, we've really made a point to at least 297 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,399 Speaker 3: at least once a year go on a big vacation 298 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,639 Speaker 3: and then a couple of times a year going like 299 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,679 Speaker 3: little staycations so that we can just or if we 300 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:15,480 Speaker 3: and I just told them the other day, I was like, 301 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:19,920 Speaker 3: maybe I think we need to get away because even 302 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:24,040 Speaker 3: like two days just going to Malibu or Santa Barbara 303 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:27,639 Speaker 3: or something like that, just get out of our normal 304 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:31,919 Speaker 3: routine or our normal like environment. It does wonders. It 305 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:36,680 Speaker 3: really does, like and I don't know why, because we're 306 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:40,760 Speaker 3: the same people and that shouldn't change anything, but it does. 307 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,560 Speaker 2: I actually think that's a great, a great sign because 308 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,800 Speaker 2: we love to people watch, and when you see a 309 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:49,520 Speaker 2: lot of couples on vacation, you don't see happy people. 310 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:53,560 Speaker 2: You see people separate, reading their books and not engaging 311 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,639 Speaker 2: on their phones. So it's cool, Like I feel like 312 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:59,120 Speaker 2: that's a really good sign that your favorite moments with 313 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:02,800 Speaker 2: each other are when you're alone and distracted. Most people 314 00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:03,680 Speaker 2: choose the district. 315 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:09,680 Speaker 3: I absolutely chairiship, because that's that's if we could live 316 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:12,320 Speaker 3: our entire life like that, we would be probably the 317 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:13,480 Speaker 3: happiest couple on earth. 318 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:18,440 Speaker 11: But we don't have that life so like in our 319 00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:22,280 Speaker 11: own way, and so we have business schedules, different, different schedule, 320 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:25,240 Speaker 11: and so it's true that it's not and we respect 321 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:27,600 Speaker 11: that so much about each other or hard we work, 322 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:31,359 Speaker 11: but so you know, eventually, with time, you know, we 323 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:32,800 Speaker 11: go a little bit o ways. 324 00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:36,640 Speaker 4: And then so when we get to spend actually more 325 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:39,560 Speaker 4: time together properly and you know, go to be together, 326 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:43,639 Speaker 4: wake up together every day, and then so that's much 327 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:44,600 Speaker 4: easier to reconnect. 328 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:46,760 Speaker 1: Tell me that, what do you all think about the 329 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,840 Speaker 1: idea of date nights. A lot of couples have a 330 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,119 Speaker 1: set day Thursday. We always do it Friday. What do 331 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:53,479 Speaker 1: you all just think about the idea of it? 332 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,320 Speaker 5: All the worse people? 333 00:18:56,640 --> 00:19:01,920 Speaker 3: Okay, So I am such an introvert. I do not 334 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,240 Speaker 3: like I have that I have to put on my 335 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:09,080 Speaker 3: work hat and my my personal hat, and I can't 336 00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:13,000 Speaker 3: go on date nights because if people look at us 337 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:16,680 Speaker 3: and listen and stuff like that, I feel so uncomfortable. 338 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,600 Speaker 3: It was like, I have to have my workout on 339 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:22,359 Speaker 3: to be able to go out and be And I 340 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:28,240 Speaker 3: love meeting people. I love like being out doing stuff, 341 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:33,720 Speaker 3: but I have to have I'm so private. I guess 342 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,119 Speaker 3: I just I have to have boundaries. And when we 343 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:45,040 Speaker 3: go out, like I need to go, I need to go, 344 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,640 Speaker 3: I'm like, I can't do it. So we don't really 345 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:48,360 Speaker 3: go on date nights. 346 00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:54,520 Speaker 2: So if if if your love just blossoms and flourishes 347 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:58,000 Speaker 2: on vacation when you're at home and the mundane life 348 00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,320 Speaker 2: just starts eating away at you, I'm curious how you 349 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:03,560 Speaker 2: divvy up responsibilities in your house? Who does the cooking, 350 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,520 Speaker 2: who does the cleaning, who does the laundry? How do 351 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:07,919 Speaker 2: you figure that out? 352 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:10,000 Speaker 5: I wish that really likely. 353 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:13,160 Speaker 4: When it's small, I would say, like, you know, it's small, 354 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,840 Speaker 4: depending on our schedule, and then who has time. But 355 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,080 Speaker 4: usually we're pretty good at you know, whoever has the 356 00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:19,920 Speaker 4: time to do the laundry. 357 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,760 Speaker 5: I'm doing mother cleaning usually, but she. 358 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:27,080 Speaker 4: Even though she's the one thing at home, but no, 359 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,959 Speaker 4: the wors for laundry and then cooking and everything. She 360 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:31,600 Speaker 4: happens a couple of times that I come home and 361 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:36,560 Speaker 4: then she gets she sometimes she cooked something, but I order, I. 362 00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:43,320 Speaker 3: Order everything, and I have been delivered, to be fair. 363 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:48,040 Speaker 4: Sometimes it's one times burn and egg, and so I'm like, okay, 364 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:48,919 Speaker 4: safer for me. 365 00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:55,120 Speaker 5: We had a couple of things she does amazingly, but 366 00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:56,400 Speaker 5: you know, keep it sure. 367 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, And of course we asked every couple of this 368 00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:03,040 Speaker 1: as well. How do you divvy up finances in the house? 369 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:06,400 Speaker 1: One account, two accounts, three accounts? How does it work 370 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:07,280 Speaker 1: for you guys? 371 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:14,400 Speaker 3: We have sparate account we have. My ex husband kind 372 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,680 Speaker 3: of traumatized me from that, and so I found bankruptcy 373 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:19,800 Speaker 3: and had to do all these things like he saw 374 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,480 Speaker 3: all the money and stuff like that, and and wracked 375 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:23,960 Speaker 3: up a bunch of stuff in my name, and so 376 00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:28,760 Speaker 3: I will not share an account with anybody ever again. 377 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,439 Speaker 3: And I was like, maybe I love you. I trust you, 378 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:36,360 Speaker 3: but just for peace of mind, I need my own 379 00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:40,800 Speaker 3: separate accounts. We can share like expenses, we can do 380 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:44,439 Speaker 3: different things, but I cannot allow that to happen again 381 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,120 Speaker 3: like it was, which. 382 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:47,840 Speaker 5: I didn't account because for me, I mean like I 383 00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:51,439 Speaker 5: never thought it, you know. And then I was up 384 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,120 Speaker 5: to you know, keeping like. 385 00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:56,720 Speaker 4: This because we had an account we opened and together 386 00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,440 Speaker 4: TAAs and then you know, if we received some extracuse, 387 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:02,760 Speaker 4: but use it. 388 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:09,359 Speaker 3: Yes, you just have separate, separate expenses. We share certain expenses, 389 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:10,720 Speaker 3: but we just have separate accounts. 390 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:13,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, yep, very modern way. And once you've been burned once, 391 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:15,359 Speaker 2: that makes a lot of sense. 392 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:15,679 Speaker 3: All right. 393 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:17,720 Speaker 2: When it comes to family, I know you all have 394 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:22,000 Speaker 2: been very open about your fertility journey, but how important 395 00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:25,080 Speaker 2: is it for you right now to have kids together? 396 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:30,840 Speaker 4: We've got you're for a baby. 397 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:36,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, we tried, and unfortunately, I mean, I don't think 398 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:40,320 Speaker 3: that's in the cards for us. I have a septum 399 00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:43,560 Speaker 3: in the middle of my uterus and I didn't know that. 400 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:47,240 Speaker 3: I have no idea how I had my son because 401 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:51,119 Speaker 3: it's basically your miracle. But they said I can't carry 402 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:56,160 Speaker 3: a child, a child full term unless I have it removed. However, 403 00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:59,120 Speaker 3: it would take so like it would have scar tissue 404 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,040 Speaker 3: and it takes along the heel. And I'm already forty five, 405 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:07,760 Speaker 3: so it's not really going to happen unless we adopt 406 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:14,000 Speaker 3: or something like that. But he's been very very understanding, 407 00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:19,200 Speaker 3: thank god. So yeah, that's where we're at. 408 00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:21,800 Speaker 1: But is that something at the beginning of your relationship 409 00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:24,440 Speaker 1: and your marriage was something that was very important and 410 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:29,200 Speaker 1: you all talked about, we're gonna go for this, Well. 411 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:33,520 Speaker 5: We uh did no, really, I mean she knew that 412 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:35,480 Speaker 5: I wanted and then. 413 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,640 Speaker 3: I didn't really want to in the beginning. But if 414 00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:41,560 Speaker 3: I had my son when I was fifteen, and like 415 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,960 Speaker 3: I've been there, done that, but then I was like, okay, 416 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:47,080 Speaker 3: you know what, let's do it because I want to 417 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,720 Speaker 3: make him happy. I wanted the family with him. 418 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,080 Speaker 5: But now you know, yeah, and I didn't. 419 00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:54,320 Speaker 4: I never also wanted to press on her in a 420 00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:59,280 Speaker 4: way that she would be boy that I would leave, 421 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:02,000 Speaker 4: for example, if you know, she would not be okay 422 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:06,040 Speaker 4: to have babies or could not, so you know, it 423 00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:06,960 Speaker 4: was it was. 424 00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:09,919 Speaker 5: That which wired the Unfortunately we couldn't. And so if 425 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,199 Speaker 5: this whole process, you know, we'll take sometimes and then 426 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:15,439 Speaker 5: doesn't even mean that after that we still will be 427 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:20,240 Speaker 5: able to, you know, get one so and but she 428 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:23,240 Speaker 5: forgot this little boy. 429 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:26,280 Speaker 2: No, And I know so many couples appreciate just you 430 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:29,080 Speaker 2: being vulnerable and open about that because this it's people 431 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:32,080 Speaker 2: think it's just an assumption that you can and it's 432 00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:34,600 Speaker 2: not always the case. So like, there are a million 433 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,280 Speaker 2: things that happen, and and look, there's an age difference 434 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,399 Speaker 2: between the twov there's an age difference between us as well. 435 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:44,160 Speaker 2: I'm the older I'm the older woman, you're the older woman. 436 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:49,000 Speaker 2: There's is it twelve years we are well, I say 437 00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,479 Speaker 2: four years, he says five. We're exactly four and I'm 438 00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:55,720 Speaker 2: four and a half years older than here. The age 439 00:24:55,720 --> 00:25:00,320 Speaker 2: difference between you all is twelve years thirteen thirteen. And 440 00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:04,440 Speaker 2: how has that impacted, if at all, your relationship or 441 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:07,400 Speaker 2: at least even what people say about your relationship. 442 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:13,960 Speaker 3: Well, people always have something to say, so now not 443 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:17,919 Speaker 3: why it much, But I don't think that we have. 444 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,640 Speaker 3: We don't see it just as a couple. We don't 445 00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:25,159 Speaker 3: see the age difference. Besides, when it comes to I 446 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:30,080 Speaker 3: think the child thing and where I'm like, I'm forty five, 447 00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:36,080 Speaker 3: I mean it's it's just it's it really limits you. 448 00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:40,320 Speaker 3: And he's so young enough that that's where we see it. 449 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,199 Speaker 3: Otherwise he's very mature. 450 00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:50,040 Speaker 5: Yeah, and we have a first starting and everything, especially 451 00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:52,760 Speaker 5: when and then he's a. 452 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:57,120 Speaker 3: Gold digger and like I'm an old tag and all 453 00:25:57,119 --> 00:26:00,239 Speaker 3: these things. Like everybody just has things to say. But 454 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,560 Speaker 3: once they saw us get married, once they saw like 455 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:05,040 Speaker 3: other things happened. Now they're nicer about it. 456 00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:07,800 Speaker 5: But so many people were saying, like, oh, I was 457 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:08,439 Speaker 5: working for you. 458 00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:11,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, people are pretty but yeah. 459 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:14,840 Speaker 4: So many people were thinking that it was just for 460 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:16,160 Speaker 4: the money, for the fame. 461 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:21,040 Speaker 5: That well he won't and so that she was getting mad. 462 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:22,399 Speaker 5: I'm not for what you say. 463 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:25,719 Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't know mad about things they say. 464 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,040 Speaker 3: I get mad when they say things about him. I'm like, 465 00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:31,000 Speaker 3: that's not true. 466 00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:32,480 Speaker 5: I mean they don't know us. Well. 467 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:37,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, well and so and then how much of that 468 00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,080 Speaker 2: was Did your families have anything to say about it? 469 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:42,960 Speaker 2: Did your friends have anything to say about it? Or 470 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,520 Speaker 2: is it just negative attention from the public. 471 00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,720 Speaker 3: Uh? No, our families we both get along with each 472 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:56,320 Speaker 3: other's families very very well. We're very close. Uh, and yeah, we. 473 00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:59,679 Speaker 9: Love each other's families. They love each other. We all 474 00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:02,400 Speaker 9: spend a lot of time together, all of our friends. 475 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:07,000 Speaker 3: Yeah they love him, like, yeah, we all that. That 476 00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:09,919 Speaker 3: was never a problem. It's just it's just the public. 477 00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:13,760 Speaker 1: And tell tell us now about the role of friendship 478 00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:17,160 Speaker 1: in your relationship. Robes and I were absolutely on hundred 479 00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:20,719 Speaker 1: best friends before we ever started dating, and a lot 480 00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:23,160 Speaker 1: of couples get together and then after a few years 481 00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,720 Speaker 1: or something said yeah, this is my best friend. Tell me, though, 482 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:29,600 Speaker 1: what the role of friendship, what it plays in your relationship. 483 00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,040 Speaker 3: Well, I think it's really important. 484 00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:39,280 Speaker 4: You want to be able to be like to be 485 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,240 Speaker 4: like confidence and then of like you know. 486 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:48,240 Speaker 3: Comfortable and everything like that. I think it's like because 487 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:52,879 Speaker 3: I feel like lost when you first meet somebody that 488 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,600 Speaker 3: goes away, like like after a while, you want to 489 00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:58,199 Speaker 3: keep like the fire burning and do all these things. 490 00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:02,919 Speaker 3: But that initial just lust because a way you have 491 00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:07,760 Speaker 3: to have a foundation, a base, and and that like 492 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,400 Speaker 3: best friend, you want to tell them everything. You want 493 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:13,359 Speaker 3: to be with them all the time. That's who you 494 00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:18,879 Speaker 3: come home and you want by your side, and so 495 00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:22,879 Speaker 3: I think I think that has to be there really 496 00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:27,240 Speaker 3: for a sustainable relationship. I think you have to have 497 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:31,159 Speaker 3: a friendship, like a very close friendship, otherwise. 498 00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:33,159 Speaker 5: You're not gonna want to I don't know. 499 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:35,080 Speaker 3: Maybe some people are like yeah. 500 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,159 Speaker 4: But I feel like, yeah, you want to see the 501 00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:39,800 Speaker 4: person constantly that you're happy and we there to come 502 00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:42,280 Speaker 4: home like you just knowing that you're gonna see them, 503 00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:45,880 Speaker 4: and yeah that matters. 504 00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:48,200 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean. 505 00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:51,600 Speaker 3: Like a good friendship. It's weird, like, is it still 506 00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:52,920 Speaker 3: the same as when you first met. 507 00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's weird for us that I actually say to 508 00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:59,360 Speaker 1: her sometimes, can we just be friends today? Like we 509 00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:01,960 Speaker 1: had so much time as a friendship that then the 510 00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:05,880 Speaker 1: romantic relationship is a bonus and it's nice. But I 511 00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:08,560 Speaker 1: like hanging out with my best friend and being strictly 512 00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:10,960 Speaker 1: a buddy. Yes, she was my best friend before we 513 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,880 Speaker 1: ever started dating, so we were. 514 00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:14,960 Speaker 2: He was the person I was like, if I could 515 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:17,440 Speaker 2: do anything with like go to a movie, go to 516 00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:19,800 Speaker 2: a concert, go and do anything, sit at a school 517 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:22,320 Speaker 2: board meeting, He'd be the person who I wanted to 518 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,600 Speaker 2: sit next to me regardless, just as a friend. Because 519 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,560 Speaker 2: we cut up together. We have the same sense of 520 00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,080 Speaker 2: dark humor. I think that has been one of the 521 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:32,080 Speaker 2: connective days for us. But yeah, so even like maybe 522 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:34,920 Speaker 2: when we are fighting or we're not great romantically, it's like, 523 00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:38,280 Speaker 2: can we just be friends today, go back to the 524 00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:43,640 Speaker 2: friendship thing right because the romance thing is complicating things 525 00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:45,880 Speaker 2: right now, and we just be friends right now. 526 00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:51,280 Speaker 3: But that's where we're solid. 527 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,760 Speaker 2: It's true, though, it's awesome. 528 00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:55,400 Speaker 3: I love that. 529 00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:59,200 Speaker 2: It's comforting. I think in those moments when it comes 530 00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:01,440 Speaker 2: to romance though, because that still is obviously a very 531 00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:06,160 Speaker 2: important part of being in a relationship. How what do 532 00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:09,440 Speaker 2: you do? Do you do anything to actively try to 533 00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:11,160 Speaker 2: keep the spark alive? 534 00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:15,200 Speaker 4: But as I feel like what we say, like we said, 535 00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:18,080 Speaker 4: it's like one we travel and everything we became, we 536 00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:21,320 Speaker 4: always like come back and be much closer with each 537 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:26,160 Speaker 4: other and like fun even more, you know, like you 538 00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:28,120 Speaker 4: get back like a you know, attraction and then you 539 00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,040 Speaker 4: know when I see that person more and you know, 540 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,960 Speaker 4: you might team together, you know, just to be able 541 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,800 Speaker 4: to spend time and go eat together, experience new stuff 542 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:38,640 Speaker 4: so you know, and discover a new places, you know 543 00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:40,040 Speaker 4: if you travel, you know oversea. 544 00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:43,440 Speaker 5: So I think that's what you know gets us like 545 00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:44,200 Speaker 5: much closer. 546 00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:47,520 Speaker 3: And yeah, and there's part of it is all on 547 00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:51,000 Speaker 3: me because I have like trauma from something that happened before. 548 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:53,320 Speaker 3: So I have to go back to therapy and do 549 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:57,920 Speaker 3: different things sometimes because of something that happened. So when 550 00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:01,640 Speaker 3: I start feeling I'm like, yeah, yeah, that Thomas kicking back, 551 00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:05,840 Speaker 3: and I'm like, I gotta. 552 00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:07,680 Speaker 1: Something happens with you that you know is impacting your 553 00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:10,760 Speaker 1: relationship with Romaine. So you go get it checked out. 554 00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:11,560 Speaker 1: What is that thing? 555 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:15,600 Speaker 5: Well, I was. 556 00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:21,000 Speaker 3: Raped and so that how does that impact your relationship now? 557 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:26,040 Speaker 1: Yeah with Romayne, even though you've been married seven plus years. 558 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:31,560 Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, but it's it's not anything And then E 559 00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:34,120 Speaker 7: M D R and stuff like that, because it's not anything. 560 00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:40,080 Speaker 3: I it's it's just like a physical reaction. It's not 561 00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:43,200 Speaker 3: anything that has anything to do with him. He's the 562 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,600 Speaker 3: best guy ever and so patient and so like. But 563 00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:49,080 Speaker 3: it's just a physical response that your body just holds 564 00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:54,360 Speaker 3: on to trauma and you just have to, like I 565 00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:57,560 Speaker 3: do I realize sometimes I'm like, oh, I if he 566 00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:01,360 Speaker 3: comes up and just like and I just like jump, 567 00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:05,600 Speaker 3: and I'm like, wait, that makes him feel bad and 568 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:08,760 Speaker 3: and I don't mean to like, it's just a response 569 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:13,200 Speaker 3: from something that happened. And so I you know, when 570 00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:17,160 Speaker 3: I feel it starting to like increase more. Sometimes it's 571 00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:20,480 Speaker 3: totally fine, and then I think after my book, like 572 00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:23,560 Speaker 3: it got much worse because I hadn't just keep talking 573 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:26,240 Speaker 3: about it and reliving it, reliving it over and over. 574 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:32,840 Speaker 3: But but he's very patient and and I try to 575 00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:36,040 Speaker 3: be very very aware of when I do it, because 576 00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,480 Speaker 3: I was not aware that I was doing it before. 577 00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:43,360 Speaker 2: So they're basically, thank you so much for that answer. 578 00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:44,880 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to. 579 00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:46,080 Speaker 5: Get us nothing. 580 00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:48,880 Speaker 1: Thank you for being honest about it. 581 00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:54,120 Speaker 2: I'm just like honest about about and once again, obviously 582 00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:58,800 Speaker 2: that is super helpful to so many people who are 583 00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:03,960 Speaker 2: survivors and drivers despite that, and it does seep into 584 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,840 Speaker 2: your relationship. Anything you've been through you bring with you, 585 00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:08,880 Speaker 2: You bring that trauma with you, and so that's I 586 00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:11,120 Speaker 2: think that's amazing. You talk about it, You're getting therapy 587 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:15,600 Speaker 2: constantly for it. I'm always in therapy as well. I'm 588 00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:18,600 Speaker 2: a work in progress, I'm always always I'm the same way. 589 00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:21,160 Speaker 2: So it's I think it's important to let people know 590 00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:24,480 Speaker 2: that it's okay, Like we all have and it's different 591 00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:27,800 Speaker 2: layers and different versions of it. But I appreciate the 592 00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:30,080 Speaker 2: fact that you're so open about it. I think that's incredible. 593 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:34,080 Speaker 2: What do you think? Could you? Guys? Even I don't 594 00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:35,720 Speaker 2: know if there's a way to sum it up, because 595 00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:38,560 Speaker 2: everyone wants to look at a couple like you and 596 00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:41,240 Speaker 2: say I want to be like them, I want their relationship. 597 00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:43,479 Speaker 2: I want to be as successful and as happy and 598 00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:45,840 Speaker 2: as in love as they are. What would you say 599 00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:50,800 Speaker 2: the key to your relationship success is what advice would 600 00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:53,640 Speaker 2: you give other couples? 601 00:33:54,680 --> 00:34:00,760 Speaker 3: I think probably in my opinion, it's like appreciate and 602 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:04,600 Speaker 3: respect the person for who they are, Like you can't change, 603 00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:06,360 Speaker 3: you don't want to change, and you don't want to 604 00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:09,280 Speaker 3: like you have to love and respect them and accept 605 00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:15,359 Speaker 3: your partner for who they are. Because then it's like 606 00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:18,720 Speaker 3: compromises all and stuff that that's all like small things 607 00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:19,759 Speaker 3: that come along with it. 608 00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:22,359 Speaker 4: But when I evolve, you know, together as you are 609 00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:25,800 Speaker 4: in the relationships, you learn or to how to walk together, 610 00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:28,600 Speaker 4: or to live together and stuff like that. So these 611 00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,400 Speaker 4: things that you're going to be able to manage and 612 00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,839 Speaker 4: and you know, evolve a little bit about the relationship. 613 00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:36,759 Speaker 4: But I'm patient, Yeah, ultimately, like you know, you're not 614 00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:40,560 Speaker 4: going with someone like thinking, Okay, I'm gonna compare to 615 00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:42,640 Speaker 4: change that person and I want her to do this 616 00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:43,439 Speaker 4: and that and that. 617 00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:46,160 Speaker 5: So you have to be okay with who they are 618 00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:48,319 Speaker 5: at first, and you know. 619 00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:51,040 Speaker 1: Let me try it on the flip side of the 620 00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:52,520 Speaker 1: way she asked it. That was the key to you 621 00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:54,839 Speaker 1: all success. That's working for you all as you all 622 00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:58,360 Speaker 1: look at other couples and you see them, what do 623 00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:02,920 Speaker 1: you see other couples the mistakes that they are making, 624 00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,920 Speaker 1: and you're like, oh my god, come on, even maybe 625 00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:07,960 Speaker 1: some couples that are out there in the public eye, 626 00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:09,880 Speaker 1: maybe friends around you. But if you had a chance 627 00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:11,879 Speaker 1: to talk to every couple in the country right now, 628 00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:15,520 Speaker 1: you will don't make this mistake? What would you tell 629 00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:16,719 Speaker 1: them to stop doing? 630 00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:23,000 Speaker 3: Don't? I don't know if I have an opinion. Everybody 631 00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:26,920 Speaker 3: is different. You don't have an opinion. I'm sure. 632 00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:29,880 Speaker 4: I'm trying to think about it's who I'm like, I 633 00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:33,719 Speaker 4: don't really, I don't care, but like, you know, what 634 00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:34,240 Speaker 4: you want. 635 00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:35,600 Speaker 5: Like everyone's business. 636 00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:38,440 Speaker 4: So I'm like, you know, if someone asks me what 637 00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:40,200 Speaker 4: we do and stuff like that, you know, I can 638 00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:44,480 Speaker 4: straighten my pinion. But I usually don't like try to 639 00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:47,600 Speaker 4: get into people's business, you know what I mean, unless 640 00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:49,320 Speaker 4: they ask me their opinion, but something. 641 00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:52,360 Speaker 5: But otherwise, just like you know, you do you do me. 642 00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:55,840 Speaker 3: I guess the only thing I can think of off the 643 00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:58,319 Speaker 3: top of my head is like when you try to 644 00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:03,040 Speaker 3: control the couples try to control each other. I think 645 00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:07,440 Speaker 3: that's just a recipe for disaster. Like you have to 646 00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:10,600 Speaker 3: give each other space. You have to let each other 647 00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:15,279 Speaker 3: be who who you are and and respect that and 648 00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:17,759 Speaker 3: don't respect each other's time away. Like I just went 649 00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:18,520 Speaker 3: with my sister. 650 00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:20,520 Speaker 12: I was like, mabe, I'm gonna go with my sister 651 00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:27,439 Speaker 12: to the mountains and he's like when I was like tomorrow, okay, 652 00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:30,360 Speaker 12: but it works, like and it's really real first and 653 00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:33,120 Speaker 12: he goes skiing with the boys and stuff like that too. 654 00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:36,759 Speaker 3: You just need that time. You just have to give 655 00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:45,000 Speaker 3: each other, I think, freedom to just beat yourselves to 656 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:48,719 Speaker 3: to have fun. You can't control the other person otherwise 657 00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:52,560 Speaker 3: it just I think it backfires. The more you try 658 00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:54,640 Speaker 3: to control, the more like you lose. 659 00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:59,359 Speaker 5: You have to have respect, especially me as a guy. 660 00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:03,400 Speaker 5: You know, for girls like this, stuff like that that will. 661 00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:05,839 Speaker 4: Never agree with, like you know what people do, will 662 00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:09,239 Speaker 4: say or do that, it's just because you should respect it. 663 00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:13,000 Speaker 5: You know a girl then so I think this is 664 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:13,640 Speaker 5: really important. 665 00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:20,160 Speaker 2: We have absolutely loved talking to the two of you. 666 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:23,880 Speaker 2: It's been so fun just to hear how you navigate 667 00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:28,760 Speaker 2: life and the spotlight and all the pressure, the age difference. 668 00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,600 Speaker 2: But I think this is all. But it's it's inspiring 669 00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:34,920 Speaker 2: to see two people come together and figure from two 670 00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:38,760 Speaker 2: different parts of the world, two different cultures. It's inspiring 671 00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:40,200 Speaker 2: to see how you all make it work. 672 00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:43,880 Speaker 1: What are the couple goals for twenty twenty six? 673 00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:50,000 Speaker 3: A couple of goals for twenty twenty six as a couple. 674 00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:51,279 Speaker 1: What are your goals for twenty twenty six? 675 00:37:56,440 --> 00:38:01,960 Speaker 3: That's what our goal always is. And Safari, Yeah, that's 676 00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:06,239 Speaker 3: a really big one that we want to do. It's 677 00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:07,759 Speaker 3: always traveled because we just. 678 00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:10,200 Speaker 5: Yeah, we have making times to get it. 679 00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:14,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, and you and but it opens our eyes to. 680 00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:19,120 Speaker 5: We love traveling like new things, new places, new food, 681 00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:19,680 Speaker 5: new people. 682 00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:24,720 Speaker 1: So it's so yeah, So because that's fantastic. You will 683 00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:28,279 Speaker 1: you will in you work this hard, but fun is 684 00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:31,560 Speaker 1: a priority and being together away from all this is 685 00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:34,239 Speaker 1: a priority and that we absolutely respect. And you all 686 00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:37,120 Speaker 1: have set a couple goal for us for twenty twenty six. 687 00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:38,879 Speaker 1: We look up to you all for that reason we're 688 00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,640 Speaker 1: trying to do more of that ourselves. So congrats on 689 00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:45,480 Speaker 1: everything that's and that continues to come your way. 690 00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:46,840 Speaker 5: It is an absolute treat to. 691 00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:51,360 Speaker 2: Talk to you too, you too, Are you all really quickly? 692 00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:52,040 Speaker 5: Are you all doing? 693 00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:54,400 Speaker 2: Is it season ten of Selling Sunset? 694 00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:59,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's happening next month in March. 695 00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:03,520 Speaker 2: All right, well, good luck with all that work life balance. 696 00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:07,239 Speaker 1: We're gonna be watching closer now that we know you 697 00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:09,200 Speaker 1: guys looking for little things in the show 698 00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:15,399 Speaker 3: Now much loved you both, Thank you, thank you.