Speaker 1: Hello, friends, it's Duel Say Sloan corresponding for the Daily Show.
Speaker 1: We're off this week, but we thought we'd re visit
Speaker 1: one of our favorite episodes, Diners Versus waffle House, And
Speaker 1: since it's Sport twenty and some of y'all might have
Speaker 1: the munches today, we thought we'd give you our takes
Speaker 1: and who has a better quality food, if it's better
Speaker 1: to have a menu with an abundance of options or
Speaker 1: a select few items, and the pros and kinds of
Speaker 1: a place we can open twenty four to seven.
Speaker 2: Tune in to find out which side of the debate
Speaker 2: we each land on.
Speaker 1: Enjoy.
Speaker 3: Hey, everybody, welcome to hold up with Dulce Sloan and
Speaker 3: Josh Johnson. That's us, by the way, I know I
Speaker 3: was saying it like it was two other people that
Speaker 3: we were going to interview and talk to, but it's us.
Speaker 3: I don't know why I say my name like I
Speaker 3: forgot my name before I say my name. But we
Speaker 3: are here to discuss a really important topic today, something
Speaker 3: that's weighed on our hearts and our minds for basically
Speaker 3: our entire lives. And we had no idea that the
Speaker 3: other didn't feel the same way. Honestly, this is one
Speaker 3: of those things where it's best that we became good
Speaker 3: friends before we found this out about each other, or
Speaker 3: else one would have judged the other pretty harshly. We
Speaker 3: probably would have judged each other. Today's topic is diners
Speaker 3: versus waffle Houses. Yep, okay, so this is waffle Houses
Speaker 3: of the world taken on the diners of the world.
Speaker 2: Well, well, well it's the waffle houses of America.
Speaker 3: Mm hmmm.
Speaker 2: Because I don't believe waffle House is a international company.
Speaker 3: I feel like if it is, we would have heard
Speaker 3: about it. I feel like.
Speaker 2: Yes, because waffle House only operates, Like the closest waffle
Speaker 2: house to hear is in Pennsylvania. And me and you know,
Speaker 2: my friend Ben ben Bergman shop Big Bergman. Me and
Speaker 2: Ben Bergman have contemplated renting a car to go. I
Speaker 2: think it's like a Scranton pen of vang your waffle house.
Speaker 3: Yeah, one of the best, one of the best outings
Speaker 3: you could probably have is hitting the six Flags on
Speaker 3: the way and then going to a waffle house. That
Speaker 3: sounds like an incredible weekend.
Speaker 2: Well, you know, you have to do the waffle house
Speaker 2: after six Flags?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you don't want to.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you want to lose your waffle house.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't want to have a biological refund on
Speaker 3: all of your waffle house. I'll tell you right now, though,
Speaker 3: the thing that would make that trip better besides six
Speaker 3: Flags and then a waffle House is a six Flags
Speaker 3: and any diner along the way, because waffle house it
Speaker 3: doesn't stack up. Okay, what to an American institution of dinerism?
Speaker 2: All right, listen, listen. This is how you know you
Speaker 2: have life fucked up. Okay, I'm gonna tell you this.
Speaker 2: This is the reason you don't drink. Okay, and I
Speaker 2: think you've only had like one drink in your life, right, No,
Speaker 2: I never drank. So you've never had alcohol. No, in
Speaker 2: your American Christian life, not one sip. You didn't have
Speaker 2: a rogue ut tea you know, irresponsible uncle.
Speaker 3: I mean buncle's irresponsible, but he had drake.
Speaker 2: Interesting, So the missing ingredient of waffle house is alcohol.
Speaker 2: So for a long time, when you first start going
Speaker 2: to waffle house, usually if you didn't go as a kid,
Speaker 2: you went in college, you start going to walk was
Speaker 2: like you've been out laid with your friends. There's nothing,
Speaker 2: there's nothing else open, so you go to waffle house.
Speaker 2: It was a lot of food, it was super affordable,
Speaker 2: and you were drunk, okay, or a little tipsy. So
Speaker 2: a lot of it is like, if you are trying,
Speaker 2: if you have been out drinking mm hm, and you
Speaker 2: are trying to ensure that you do not have a
Speaker 2: biological refund mm hmm on all the alcohol that you purchased.
Speaker 2: Waffle House is a sure fire away to make sure
Speaker 2: that you do not do that. Because all the times
Speaker 2: I've been out late and been drinking and seeing people
Speaker 2: very drunk in the waffle house, it is very rare
Speaker 2: that I have seen somebody have a biological refund because
Speaker 2: all that waffle house just soaks up all the liquor.
Speaker 2: See what I'm saying. That's why you eat carbs like
Speaker 2: that after you drink. That's why when people are drunk
Speaker 2: they want French fries, they want potatoes, they want stuff
Speaker 2: like that, because it's just your body is like, bitch,
Speaker 2: I need help.
Speaker 3: Okay, you know.
Speaker 2: So they're out here, they're saving they're saving the children,
Speaker 2: that's what they're doing. They're helping people that.
Speaker 3: Would helped me and then helped me understand, right, Because
Speaker 3: in my in my experience, just from the outside looking in.
Speaker 3: Like I said, I've never drank before, so I'm not
Speaker 3: I'm not going to act like I know what you're
Speaker 3: talking about and what I'm talking about. You know what
Speaker 3: you're talking about. I know what I'm talking about. And
Speaker 3: I've just noticed that in life, when someone has to
Speaker 3: be drunk for something, it's probably not as good as
Speaker 3: they think it is.
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, no, no, I'm not talking about I've
Speaker 2: never been to a diner and been like this food
Speaker 2: is amazing. There's a lot of times hold on, let
Speaker 2: me finish. Hold on. I remember my mom asked me
Speaker 2: to go to waffle House and it was like a
Speaker 2: Sunday morning, and I was like, are we going to
Speaker 2: get drunk first? What are we doing? And then I
Speaker 2: was able to have out waffle House without having it
Speaker 2: be three in the morning and nothing else is open
Speaker 2: or not being a little tips McGee and I had
Speaker 2: waffle House and I was like, oh, this is actually
Speaker 2: good even without the alcohol. And alcohol does give you
Speaker 2: a little like a little bit of a you know,
Speaker 2: it's like, you know, it's just a little little kiss
Speaker 2: from a rose when you when you're a little inebriated
Speaker 2: and you're in a waffle house. And also it's like
Speaker 2: the ambiance of a waffle house. Also, the waffle house has.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry to interrupt, but is way too sophisticated of
Speaker 3: a word to use for a waffle house.
Speaker 2: Listen, ambiance is too sophisticated a word to use for Denny's. Like,
Speaker 2: that's what I'm talking about, because it's like, also there's diners,
Speaker 2: but it's like, is Denny's a diner or the restaurant
Speaker 2: is a diner or a restaurant, But a waffle house, nigga,
Speaker 2: it's a waffle house. So like you know what you're
Speaker 2: dealing with.
Speaker 3: So this is just just for the listener, just just
Speaker 3: to make sure we've caught everyone up to speed. It
Speaker 3: seems clear that you are on the side of waffle house.
Speaker 3: I'm on the side of diner, and we're both coming
Speaker 3: at this thing with maybe an eight out of ten.
Speaker 3: Like I don't really see our position shifting or changing,
Speaker 3: but I do plan and to help you along get
Speaker 3: understanding why waffle house is uh is not where it's
Speaker 3: at all. Right, First of all, you mentioned ambions. I'm ambiance,
Speaker 3: the ambiance of fists, the chokes the ads of someone
Speaker 3: that might be let your food burn only because they
Speaker 3: are currently engaged in a fist fight.
Speaker 2: Listen, I have never had burned food from waff House
Speaker 2: because I mean, sometimes you're hat but because I get
Speaker 2: my hash brown scattered, smothered and covered, so sometimes it'll
Speaker 2: be a little crispy on the edges that I want
Speaker 2: it to be. But like, honestly, I can't. I don't
Speaker 2: know often I've had burned food from a restaurant period.
Speaker 3: I'm not I'm not talking about charge to an absolute Chris.
Speaker 3: I'm saying it would have been perfect had somebody not
Speaker 3: jumped the counter.
Speaker 2: Listen, I haven't seen have I seen a fight in
Speaker 2: a waffe House? Yes? Was it with the employees. I've
Speaker 2: never seen a waffle house fight with the employees. I
Speaker 2: know what happens. We all know what.
Speaker 3: Happens, but no, we all have the same internet.
Speaker 2: Right, But I've never seen I've never seen it. Also,
Speaker 2: what we can always credit the waffle house for waffle
Speaker 2: House employees more convicted felons than anyone has ever seen.
Speaker 2: If there's a man on it, first of all, if
Speaker 2: the dude on the grill don't look like he served
Speaker 2: at least five years. I don't want to cooking shit
Speaker 2: for me.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, because that that comes with its own level
Speaker 3: of experience, Like now he's working with real ingredients and
Speaker 3: not prison ingredients. I understand what you're saying, but let
Speaker 3: me let me kick it to you. Why I think
Speaker 3: the diners are just far superior.
Speaker 2: Because your bougie go ahead, because I'm boogie.
Speaker 3: Okay. Look, all I'm saying is when someone tells me
Speaker 3: that they're about to give me steak, I just wanted
Speaker 3: to be steak. You know, when I get steak at
Speaker 3: a diner, I know that that's steak. Why get steak
Speaker 3: at a waffle house that's burger. That's just burger.
Speaker 2: No waffle house one has steaks too. Why are you
Speaker 2: ordering a steak at a diner or a waffle house
Speaker 2: in the first place. You have set yourself up for failure.
Speaker 2: This is this is my issue with That's on you.
Speaker 2: You wanted a high quality steak from somewhere whose menu
Speaker 2: is thick like an encyclopedia. This is my issue with diners,
Speaker 2: and this has always been my issue with diners. Waffle
Speaker 2: House it's breakfast and then like burger shit right, like
Speaker 2: I know there's a high turnover. This ship's coming out
Speaker 2: the door. Yeah, their menu is laminated. Yeah, I see
Speaker 2: the pictures. I flip it over. I see the pictures.
Speaker 2: Understand diner menu, chapter books, chapter books, Old Testament, New Testament.
Speaker 2: Do you mean to tell me that you have a
Speaker 2: turkey dinner, a lobster florentine or whatever, but also disco fries?
Speaker 2: What the fuck is happening in here? I don't know.
Speaker 2: It is the middle of July. It is the middle
Speaker 2: of July. Who who is coming in here and ordering
Speaker 2: turkey dressed in cranberry juice, I mean cranberry sauce. Who
Speaker 2: is ordering turkey with all the fixings in the middle
Speaker 2: of July. There's so many things on those menus. There's kalamari,
Speaker 2: but then there's also chicken tenders, like all of like
Speaker 2: it's it's like, oh, there's like chicken kiev, but then
Speaker 2: it's onion rings. So it's like, I know that there's
Speaker 2: stuff in here that has just been sitting in your
Speaker 2: freezer because people aren't ordering the talking me somebody who
Speaker 2: ordered a meatloaf, sandwich and a Greek salad in the
Speaker 2: same day. How long has that meatloafs been in the freezer?
Speaker 2: How long has that lobster been in the freezer? Turkey dinner?
Speaker 2: How long has that turkey been? The fuck? I have
Speaker 2: questions and concerns.
Speaker 3: First of all, how dare you slanger the name of
Speaker 3: diners by assuming that stuff is sitting there? Any good
Speaker 3: diner has the kitchen and has the freezer. That's like
Speaker 3: a Narnia. All right, there's just amazing stuff back there.
Speaker 3: But there is this amount of space. And I'll tell
Speaker 3: you right now, what you think is the beast, I
Speaker 3: think is the beauty.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 3: So when I see that chapter book laid out in
Speaker 3: front of me, I'm like, wow, I really have options
Speaker 3: in life. I could I could try something and get
Speaker 3: something that I already like as a backup. So am
Speaker 3: I gonna get, you know, a pasta with a burger?
Speaker 3: Maybe I'm crazy like that. I can get wild like
Speaker 3: that because I could get wild like that. Because about
Speaker 3: a dinner right now, I'm not limited to the to the.
Speaker 2: You're gonna get a grilled cheese, cheese. You're gonna get
Speaker 2: a grill cheese and a chicken al fredo, You fucking child.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get a grilled cheese. I'm gonna get spaghetti.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go ahead and.
Speaker 2: No grilled cheese.
Speaker 3: I gainst spaghetti. And you know what, you know what,
Speaker 3: just the top it all, just because I care. Because
Speaker 3: this is what options in life do for you, you know,
Speaker 3: because when you go to a diner, you're your own
Speaker 3: little Elon Musk, your own little Jeff Bezos. They're going
Speaker 3: to space. I'm out here having orange juice, chocolate milk.
Speaker 2: With a mon of crystal sandwich.
Speaker 3: About a crystal sandwich.
Speaker 2: And that's how okay, And that's how you have a
Speaker 2: biological refund is chocolate milk, orange juice, and I'm money
Speaker 2: crystal sand okay.
Speaker 3: Also this is there is another metric that I want
Speaker 3: to bring up because you you already brought up a
Speaker 3: point for waffle House that they employ a lot of
Speaker 3: X cons, they're leading employers of X cons and everything
Speaker 3: I will I will offer up to you. A lot
Speaker 3: of diners out there have some of the best cooks
Speaker 3: in the world that just are struggling right now. Right
Speaker 3: So there are some cooks at diners that should be
Speaker 3: in some of those Michelin Star restaurants. But you know what,
Speaker 3: they fell off a little bit. You know, maybe they
Speaker 3: maybe they burned the wrong person's steak. Maybe they got
Speaker 3: into it with a supervisor, and so then they regulated
Speaker 3: to only work at diners after that. Okay, I'm just
Speaker 3: saying I think the quality because you see the menu
Speaker 3: that takes skill to be able to do.
Speaker 2: All that take skill.
Speaker 3: It takes a ton of skill.
Speaker 2: Tell me something on the diner media gives me that
Speaker 2: I need to go for Okay.
Speaker 3: A Greek don a suit, I know, but it is
Speaker 3: It's a no.
Speaker 2: Do you really think that they are in the back
Speaker 2: of a diner making a stock from lobster shells and
Speaker 2: meat and then adding a cream and doing all this.
Speaker 2: It's it's still a restaurant that mass produces food you
Speaker 2: buy it from. Have you worked in a restaurant before.
Speaker 3: I have worked at a restaurant before, ye all, And
Speaker 3: I can tell you right now that the best restaurants
Speaker 3: put love, time, care, attention into every dish. And so
Speaker 3: when I go to it, if I'm but.
Speaker 2: If I'm getting a lobster bisk, that's five ninety nine.
Speaker 2: You did not put love and care into the sobster bisk.
Speaker 2: You opened a can.
Speaker 3: Don't first of all.
Speaker 2: Don't don't act like I'm not judging the matter of love.
Speaker 2: What I'm saying is there could be plenty of love,
Speaker 2: but what there was not was prep work and care
Speaker 2: and time involved. You can't there's too much stuff on
Speaker 2: the menu. This is a high volume situation because if
Speaker 2: you don't use a lobster bisk out of a can,
Speaker 2: say don't sell out that lobster bisc It's easier to
Speaker 2: throw away a can of soup that's old than to
Speaker 2: every day create this stock. Because it's the thing. There
Speaker 2: are so many things on a diner menu that if
Speaker 2: you have anything with a short shelf life, you're throwing
Speaker 2: away a lot of shit. You're throwing away a lot
Speaker 2: of inventory. You're not selling all of this. You have
Speaker 2: seven different soups. Lobster bisc isn't flying off the shelf,
Speaker 2: so why would you make that fresh every day? You can't.
Speaker 2: It makes no sense. You'd be throwing that soup out
Speaker 2: every day. So you have to have something in the
Speaker 2: back that comes in a small enough can to where
Speaker 2: this one dude that ordered lobster bisk in the past
Speaker 2: two days, he is going to get all the love
Speaker 2: and care that comes from a can opener and heating
Speaker 2: up to something up on the self.
Speaker 3: Even if you think, because we don't know, we can't verify.
Speaker 3: Even if you think that all the lobster biscu and
Speaker 3: all the diners is canned, I'll tell you right now.
Speaker 3: To be able to go from type of food to
Speaker 3: type of food that also takes skill. All Right, you're
Speaker 3: coming at me with a piping hot, delicious, veggie filled casadilla,
Speaker 3: and you're coming at me with some chicken alfredo that's
Speaker 3: just cooked to perfection. I would love I would love
Speaker 3: to see waffle holes try to pull off both of
Speaker 3: those things.
Speaker 2: Because waffle house knows they're laying. They have figured out
Speaker 2: what they are doing.
Speaker 3: They have figured out what they're doing.
Speaker 2: No, No, I'm learning about as a company, not as
Speaker 2: individual not as individual stores. Because I have been an
Speaker 2: example of waffle houses. I'm just like I was giving
Speaker 2: pure chaos on a plate. H And I've been in
Speaker 2: some waifle houses. I was like, Oh, somebody wiped down
Speaker 2: the edge of this. Somebody gave me some presentation of that.
Speaker 2: You see what I'm saying. Every experience is different, but
Speaker 2: every diner is different. But every diner, to me, every
Speaker 2: diner menu feels like pure chaos. It's like there's too
Speaker 2: many there's too many things in this menu. How is
Speaker 2: all this food in your kitchen? Once you?
Speaker 3: Why would you want less good? Why are you talking
Speaker 3: about me?
Speaker 2: Because it's like that, I don't know. I'm trying to
Speaker 2: get the saying right where it's like, oh, it's like
Speaker 2: a master of none situation.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, so how's that? Let me have the phrase
Speaker 3: goes it's a jack of all trades, master of none.
Speaker 2: Right, So if you were in here making egg rolls, right,
Speaker 2: m you're making egg rolls and and Thanksgiving dinner? Yeah,
Speaker 2: and pasta and casadas and dry nachos because the nachos
Speaker 2: are always dry, always always draw the number of times
Speaker 2: that I have been just given just a just the
Speaker 2: sands of time nacho. There's a thousand things on your menu.
Speaker 2: So it's like, oh, there's span of copada and chili.
Speaker 2: What the hell is going on in here? So jack
Speaker 2: of all trades? But yeah, I cannot wait. I cannot wait.
Speaker 2: So people hear you say, dip the span of copada
Speaker 2: in the chili, you are a wild man. I love you.
Speaker 2: But that was a phrase that was a wild phrase,
Speaker 2: dip the span of copa and the chili. Oh, the
Speaker 2: Lord can't bless you living like that? So sounds like
Speaker 2: a that sounds like a move from a poor child
Speaker 2: who just got money, like just just got out here.
Speaker 2: Oh man, I'll tell you this. I met a guy
Speaker 2: at a bar. We went to the waffle house because
Speaker 2: I was the only thing that was open, and we
Speaker 2: were just sitting there talking. We were at this we
Speaker 2: were I guess it was a date or hanging out
Speaker 2: or whatever. We were at this waffle house for so long.
Speaker 2: We ate twice, ate twice.
Speaker 3: You saw people change shifts.
Speaker 2: Oh, there was a shift change. There was definitely a
Speaker 2: shift change. We were in there talking for like probably
Speaker 2: like seven hours, just hanging out. Like the sun came up.
Speaker 2: I was like, well we might as well have breakfast
Speaker 2: now we're in this bitch. So it's like but that
Speaker 2: was the other great thing about a waffle house. White
Speaker 2: house is never going to kick you out unless you're
Speaker 2: acting a fool. Yeah, if they're not super busy, a
Speaker 2: waf house will let you be there as long as
Speaker 2: you want. Okay, Yeah, you could order a coffee in
Speaker 2: a waffle house as long as you're not taking up
Speaker 2: a whole booth. Wilf House will let you have that
Speaker 2: coffee and be in there until the return of our Lord.
Speaker 2: And say, for Jesus Christ, white House does not care. Okay,
Speaker 2: you're in here, You're in here. Yes, people will fight,
Speaker 2: but I've also seen bar fights, all right. We've all
Speaker 2: been in a place. People fighting a Walmart, people fighting
Speaker 2: the CDs, people fighting, doctors offices, people fight everywhere. People
Speaker 2: fight in the street train. So I don't know why
Speaker 2: waffle House is getting all of the slack.
Speaker 3: No, don't do that, don't do that. That's that's because
Speaker 3: you love waffle house too much.
Speaker 2: Because it's not like it's not a love thing.
Speaker 3: It's like you came with the loving attitude of like
Speaker 3: a mob. That's like, look, everybody fights sometimes, and Pete,
Speaker 3: there's fighting. There's fighting overseas. They're fighting hit a war
Speaker 3: right now. There they fighting bars. But I don't understand
Speaker 3: why my baby fighting means he gotta be suspended because
Speaker 3: you you came with this thing of like singing a
Speaker 3: loud waffle House. But waffle House versus regular dins has
Speaker 3: more fights per capita, all right, there are more punch thrown.
Speaker 2: Google, I want what you I want facts, statistics. You're
Speaker 2: not gonna come in here and act.
Speaker 3: Like I mean if we're if we're putting the Dinny's
Speaker 3: of the world and the eye Hops of the world.
Speaker 3: You know, I've seen listen asking if we're doing that.
Speaker 3: I'm just saying, when we talk about virality, there are
Speaker 3: more viral videos of some ass whoopings and some waffle
Speaker 3: houses than there are at the eye hops. I'm not
Speaker 3: saying it doesn't happen. I'm saying that the Dennis and
Speaker 3: the eye hops and the places that.
Speaker 2: Have But you have to understand that, like eye hops
Speaker 2: close close, So when you're dealing with a business that
Speaker 2: is open during the drunk people time, you're going to
Speaker 2: have more altercations just because you're open during the drunk
Speaker 2: people time, You're open during fight time, you're open during
Speaker 2: shoot up the club time. Now because the eye hops
Speaker 2: that are open eight. If you take eye hops that
Speaker 2: close at ten or nine and a twenty four hour
Speaker 2: eye hop, I've seen plenty of altercations in a twenty
Speaker 2: four hour eye hope. And anytime I'm in a twenty
Speaker 2: four hour eye hop, it's because the line at waffle
Speaker 2: house was too long. If I'm in a Denny's, it's
Speaker 2: because listen, we all enjoy our moons over my hammy Okay,
Speaker 2: shout out to Denny's. All right, all enjoyed a love
Speaker 2: an ache, you know, an egg and cheese and ham sandwich. Delicious.
Speaker 2: But if you're if you're a twenty four hour restaurant,
Speaker 2: you're gonna deal with nonsense. You just are. You see
Speaker 2: people act a full on a twenty four hour diner.
Speaker 2: We've all seen. But yeah, let's not act like you're
Speaker 2: going to just get more riff raff because your business
Speaker 2: model is riffraff time.
Speaker 3: Okay, but I think that there's something to be said.
Speaker 3: This is also where the diners, the spectrum of diner
Speaker 3: that we're in right now, it just it outclasses waffle
Speaker 3: house because some diners do close at a late hour.
Speaker 3: Some of them close at one, some of them close
Speaker 3: at two, And that's a little period of closing. Just
Speaker 3: that little period closing saves you so much because now
Speaker 3: there's time to come back in and meal prep, the
Speaker 3: staff gets to rest. There's no one am to seven
Speaker 3: am shift. I know that I'm getting the best and
Speaker 3: brightest of that time period when that shift starts like.
Speaker 2: No, you're getting a shift. That's it. If your shift
Speaker 2: is one am, Union, your shift is one am. If
Speaker 2: your shift is from twelve to twelve, your shift is
Speaker 2: from twelve to twelve. Some of the worst service I've
Speaker 2: had is it a restaurant that's empty in the middle
Speaker 2: of the afternoon. An empty restaurant at four pm is
Speaker 2: the worst service I get every time. But this I
Speaker 2: will say, yeah, it's let's let's not act like that
Speaker 2: waffle House is not contributing to the community at large,
Speaker 2: because have you all on have you heard of the
Speaker 2: Waffa House hurricane index.
Speaker 3: I've heard of the waffle House hurricane index. You can
Speaker 3: tell it for the people, for the people that don't know.
Speaker 3: But so I'm already with you.
Speaker 2: Okay, let me, let me, let me give the folks
Speaker 2: the full google able definition straight from your Wikipedia page. Okay.
Speaker 2: The waffle House index is an informal metric named after
Speaker 2: the Waffa House restaurant chain to determine the effect of
Speaker 2: a storm and the likely scale of assistance required for
Speaker 2: disaster recovery. It was coined by former administrator Craig Fugate
Speaker 2: of the Federal Emergency Management Agency aka FEMA. The metric
Speaker 2: is unofficially used by FEMA to inform disaster response. So
Speaker 2: the index is based on waffle House's reputation for having
Speaker 2: good disaster preparedness, staying open during extreme weather, or reopening
Speaker 2: quickly afterwards. Now, if you get there and now this
Speaker 2: is the quote from Craig Fugate, former head of the
Speaker 2: Federal Emergency Management Agency aka FEMA, if you get there
Speaker 2: and the waffle house is closed, question mark, that's really bad,
Speaker 2: is what the man is quoted as saying. Now, there
Speaker 2: are levels to this shit. Green full menu, restaurant has
Speaker 2: power and damage is limited or no or don't damage
Speaker 2: at all. Yellow, limited menu, no power or only power
Speaker 2: from a generator where food supplies may be low. Red
Speaker 2: the restaurant is closed indicates severe damage or severe flooding. Now,
Speaker 2: if you can tell me of any other restaurant, store, business,
Speaker 2: or food chain that is being used by a federal
Speaker 2: preparedness agency, I will be glad to hear it. Go ahead,
Speaker 2: go ahead.
Speaker 3: All that you have proven just now is that FEMA
Speaker 3: is in shambles.
Speaker 2: Shut all right, the hell up.
Speaker 3: Because it's the hell up.
Speaker 2: House.
Speaker 3: You know, FEMA's not doing well it's an in.
Speaker 2: Now listen in formal it Basically, it's like, okay, this
Speaker 2: is a colloquial kind of It's like, you know how
Speaker 2: like all the birds fly away before a tsunami comes. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: no one's looking to birds. There was an earthquake, a
Speaker 2: tsunami is coming. But if these birds fly to coop,
Speaker 2: that's your indicator. You see what I'm saying. If you
Speaker 2: tell me waffle house is closed because the weather is
Speaker 2: so bad, I'm gonna go, oh shit, we got to
Speaker 2: get the hell up out of here. Already boarded up
Speaker 2: my windows, bat and down the hatches. Right. But if
Speaker 2: I steel on the news that the Waffa House is closed,
Speaker 2: I'm fleeing the city. I've already put my boards up,
Speaker 2: I've already done all my stuff. But if waffle house
Speaker 2: is closed, I mean, like, damn, this storm is batter
Speaker 2: than I thought it was. This is worse than this
Speaker 2: is worse than I thought it was.
Speaker 3: If anything, this is an indication that waffle houses stay
Speaker 3: too open.
Speaker 2: That's not that that doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 3: It makes total sense. A place should open and close
Speaker 3: in a way that isn't such an indicator. It would
Speaker 3: be like it would be like saying, oh, I know,
Speaker 3: I know this. Uh, this guy right this, Uh, this
Speaker 3: gentleman who does a lot of drugs. We all usually
Speaker 3: is not is not concerned about anything in life. So
Speaker 3: then if he gets concerned, you know, it's bad. It's
Speaker 3: like yeah, but also his level of concern doesn't doesn't
Speaker 3: really piqued my interest because he's dealing with a whole
Speaker 3: bunch of other stuff over there.
Speaker 2: I understand they're saying that waffle house is a drug addict.
Speaker 3: No, no, I'm not saying waffle house is a drug
Speaker 3: act I'm saying that it shouldn't take a hurricane to
Speaker 3: break through normal procedure. I think that maybe.
Speaker 2: What do you think should have what? What do you
Speaker 2: so you don't think it should be you don't think
Speaker 2: any restaurant should be open twenty four hours? Not not.
Speaker 3: I'm not saying any and every I'm just saying, for
Speaker 3: the sake of just when I go to a waffle house,
Speaker 3: for the sake of everyone there, I think it would
Speaker 3: be best if this place closed for four hours. I
Speaker 3: don't know, Like like.
Speaker 2: Now, I have been I have been to one where
Speaker 2: we walked in and like we're closed, and we went
Speaker 2: your waffle house.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, So she's like, there are some out there
Speaker 3: I just don't know about.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: I think they just decided they were done. Like that's
Speaker 2: the other thing. It's like they just they just I
Speaker 2: think they just decided they needed a break. Because she's like,
Speaker 2: we're closed, and I was like, your waffle house and
Speaker 2: she was like, but the reason they were closed is
Speaker 2: because they had just gotten robbed. So then we had
Speaker 2: to go to the White House across the street. Now
Speaker 2: the reason, no, don't do that. So you know the
Speaker 2: twenty four hour McDonald's, you know, after a certain time,
Speaker 2: you can't go inside. Yea, it is because people were
Speaker 2: robbing twenty four hour McDonald's. So that's why you can't
Speaker 2: go inside. The reason that certain Popeyes and certain neighborhoods
Speaker 2: have the check cash and place class because that's why
Speaker 2: you know what kind of neighbor Like, if you're not
Speaker 2: sure what kind of neighborhood you're in, go into a
Speaker 2: fast food restaurant, especially like a Popeye is like a
Speaker 2: church of Chicken. A church of Chicken should already tell
Speaker 2: you what neighborhood you're in, But if you're confused, go
Speaker 2: inside said church of chicken. If there is check cash
Speaker 2: and place class, you know where you are.
Speaker 3: And just for people who don't know, the check cashing
Speaker 3: place glass is not just a type of bulletproof ish glass.
Speaker 3: It's also glass that has a little compartment in it
Speaker 3: so that you can put your money in and then
Speaker 3: turn it, and then they can put your product in
Speaker 3: and then turn it. Yeah, and that that also stops
Speaker 3: hands from having to exchange, you know, because then with
Speaker 3: with when hands exchange, it means they have easy access
Speaker 3: to you, which means they could bring in use.
Speaker 2: A weapon, right, so they can slide a gun underneath,
Speaker 2: they can grab you by your hand. But I can't
Speaker 2: tell you the food you get out of Popeyes or
Speaker 2: a church is chicken. With check cash and place glass.
Speaker 2: It's never as good as the as the experience of
Speaker 2: having to it never matches.
Speaker 3: Up it Like yeah, yeah, it feels like the robberies
Speaker 3: that took place. There were four refunds. Jevy like like
Speaker 3: the chicken.
Speaker 2: That I've had, no give me my money back.
Speaker 3: Give me my money back, And they're like, I don't
Speaker 3: want all of the money.
Speaker 2: I want my eleven sixty two, that's all. I want
Speaker 2: one of my Homeboys, was like, how can you do
Speaker 2: diners versus waffle house? Waffle House is a diner, and
Speaker 2: I was like, but you know that waffle house is
Speaker 2: waffle house. Like, let's stop playing with it, Like, let's
Speaker 2: let's call it saith.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's essentially like a calling when people are like,
Speaker 3: actually dolphins are mammals.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like yeah, but like the square rectangle thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because if I had the choice between a diner
Speaker 3: and a waffle house, I'm going diner.
Speaker 2: Every time I'm going White House, I'm going waffle house
Speaker 2: because it's like, I know, when I go to the
Speaker 2: White House, ninety percent of the time, I get two things.
Speaker 3: Okay, when I go to a.
Speaker 2: Diner, No, no, no, no, what's your waffle house order?
Speaker 3: What's my waffle house order? I guess I get the
Speaker 3: all star thing, the all star Yeah, yeah, the thing
Speaker 3: that is at the top of the menu.
Speaker 2: I think, okay, this is okay. So what we've established
Speaker 2: here is you are not a person who goes to
Speaker 2: wait house. How you get your hash browns?
Speaker 3: I get them flat. I don't I don't know what the.
Speaker 2: Listen, listen, Li's sen You have not been to enough
Speaker 2: waffle houses. You don't even have your hash brown order down.
Speaker 3: Houses. I get my hash browns on the way they come.
Speaker 3: I don't. I don't ask them to be extra.
Speaker 2: You don't get your hash browns customized.
Speaker 3: No, because because here's the thing, the hash browns that
Speaker 3: you get at a diner. You can just go crispy,
Speaker 3: or you can go hey, can you you know, put
Speaker 3: a little gravey on whatever the gravestation. I don't know
Speaker 3: what people do.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, but sauce and a little syrup on mine,
Speaker 2: on your hash browns, just just a mean pepper yet
Speaker 2: sauce and just a little just a little, just a whisper,
Speaker 2: just a little, you know, just petals in the wind
Speaker 2: of just a little bit of syrup, just because like
Speaker 2: the whole milk just be like sometimes it's too salty.
Speaker 2: But scattered smothered, actually I get scattered smothered covered or
Speaker 2: scattered smother covered and peppered.
Speaker 3: I mean, if you really got to cover up your
Speaker 3: hash browns like that, you didn't do them.
Speaker 2: Right, ma'am, ma'am, Like, ma'am, do you know any of
Speaker 2: these do you know what any of these words mean
Speaker 2: that I just said scattered so when you get waffle
Speaker 2: house hash browns, they'll come. They'll put them in the
Speaker 2: ring so they'll be like formed. Right, Yeah, I get
Speaker 2: mine scattered, so because for me, when they're in the
Speaker 2: little ring, they're not all crispy because they're not. So
Speaker 2: I like mine scattered, so it's crisp because it's like
Speaker 2: I get one more surface area. I'm scattered. Smothered is
Speaker 2: with grilled onions, covered, is with cheese, peppered is hiletpenions? Right?
Speaker 2: You can also get it capped, which is mushrooms.
Speaker 3: Sounds like shot what it sounds like. You can get
Speaker 3: them shot capped?
Speaker 2: Why they call them capped because it's mushrooms.
Speaker 3: Just say with mushrooms.
Speaker 2: Listen, it's a whole little cute little thing. I'm trying
Speaker 2: to remember whether one when you put add gravy to it,
Speaker 2: what's it called.
Speaker 3: Maybe maybe I'm just being biased, but I feel like
Speaker 3: when I go to a diner, I go to diner
Speaker 3: specifically for breakfast food, you know. So that's why I
Speaker 3: compare it to a waffle house in my mind, because
Speaker 3: the same way that I go to waffle house, I
Speaker 3: get that all star. I go to a diner and
Speaker 3: I get you know, two eggs, scramble with cheese, bacon, crispy,
Speaker 3: and I get hash browns and then some toast if
Speaker 3: they have it, and I'm easy, I'll get some.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can just get that at But it's not
Speaker 2: it's not the same.
Speaker 3: It's not it's not like I don't know how I
Speaker 3: describe this in a way that that won't maybe sum
Speaker 3: it all up. The way that it's done at a
Speaker 3: waffle house, to me is is a bit too familiar,
Speaker 3: if that makes sense.
Speaker 2: So familiar. Yeah, so when I go to you feel
Speaker 2: like you could cook it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, when I when I get my order.
Speaker 2: All breakfast food, you can cook.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but there's something you can make.
Speaker 2: No, you can cook it. No, you can make your
Speaker 2: own eggs. We are not talking about. This is not
Speaker 2: French cuisine. This is not a soup desure. Okay, this
Speaker 2: is not a fine no fine dining experience.
Speaker 3: Which all diners have.
Speaker 2: By the way, let me say something. Is there a
Speaker 2: Michelin star restaurant that's only doing breakfast?
Speaker 3: I mean nothing, I'm aware.
Speaker 2: Exactly because it's eggs. It's eggs. It's fucking eggs. Okay.
Speaker 2: If you think that you every man makes breakfast. I
Speaker 2: don't know if that's the only thing we teach y'all
Speaker 2: how to make as a society. But a man can
Speaker 2: make breakfast, you understand. So it's like I because like
Speaker 2: I love you. Done of our favorite things that've been
Speaker 2: having a hard time to find in New York. Patty sausage.
Speaker 2: I love a patty sausage. I don't know why I
Speaker 2: love a pat Wow. Okay, listen, hash Browns and wildfowls
Speaker 2: scattered okay, smothered with oven with onions, covered with cheese, chunked,
Speaker 2: grilled hickory, smoked tam diced grilled tomatoes, pepper and jalapenos,
Speaker 2: capped grill's button mushrooms, topped is with birch chili. Country
Speaker 2: is when they got the sausage gravy on top, or
Speaker 2: you could get all of them. You can also get
Speaker 2: it in a double, a triple, or a quadruple order. Now,
Speaker 2: I don't know who's out here getting quadruple orders of
Speaker 2: hash Browns. That sounds I've seen it, and you've all
Speaker 2: we've all gone that's too much. That's too much. A
Speaker 2: double order. Like it's like it's if it's been all
Speaker 2: day and I was out like it's not often I
Speaker 2: will get like a double order of hash brows.
Speaker 3: I saw a quadruple order. What time? And when that
Speaker 3: band stood up, his gun fell out of his waistband like.
Speaker 2: That, that's so funny. There was no room for the gun.
Speaker 3: There was no room for the gun anymore. So this dude,
Speaker 3: this dude got quadruple order of hash brows, ate them
Speaker 3: all and when he got up, the gun was like,
Speaker 3: it's too tight. I can't I can't be in.
Speaker 2: I just I know there's people like listening that are
Speaker 2: just like, we are so casual about talking about a gun,
Speaker 2: and it's like y'all have to remember, like I grew
Speaker 2: up in Georgia, Josh grew up in Louisiana, and we
Speaker 2: both grew up in America. So if you have an
Speaker 2: issue with what we're talking about, yeah, one, you forgot
Speaker 2: where you live. Yeah, you forgot where you live. I
Speaker 2: have no sympathy for you. You forgot where the hell
Speaker 2: you live. You need to calm down. You need to
Speaker 2: talk to your congressman. Okay, talk to your congressman. Make
Speaker 2: it so that us talking about a pistola that it's
Speaker 2: not so casual. But hey, man, sometimes your guns, like, yo,
Speaker 2: you know, I gotta honestly, that lets you know the
Speaker 2: strength and the vigor of a waffle house hash Brown.
Speaker 2: If it's pushing guns out the waistband, come on, bro,
Speaker 2: come on.
Speaker 3: To a gun fall like to a child. Floor has
Speaker 3: a very particular clatter that oh yeah, everybody got real quiet,
Speaker 3: oh because.
Speaker 2: You're like, oh, that's not okay, okay, we know we
Speaker 2: anybody just got to go, oh, sorry, my bad.
Speaker 3: I just he was just like, hey, my bad. And
Speaker 3: then then he tried to put it back and it
Speaker 3: was not going easy. That gun did not walk be
Speaker 3: at his wife's bad anymore. I know, I was was
Speaker 3: gonna shoot himself. Like I was like, what's well those
Speaker 3: things where he really like hiked up his chest and
Speaker 3: everything trying to make room, and.
Speaker 2: I started just because like he can't hold it walking out. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's gonna look crazy. Just this's just let's just rec
Speaker 2: let's just recap and just think about this, Okay. Usually
Speaker 2: when we have these conversations, we can have things to
Speaker 2: say about the one thing and things to say about
Speaker 2: the other thing. We have been talking about waffle House
Speaker 2: most of the time because it's an engaging conversation. Okay,
Speaker 2: because we know that wilf House is for the people. Okay.
Speaker 3: I understand that we've let waffle House dominate most of
Speaker 3: the conversation because it's particular episode, but I think that
Speaker 3: it's because I really wanted to give you the time
Speaker 3: and attention for your waffle House arguments, to let you
Speaker 3: sort of like put yourself on the grill and get burned,
Speaker 3: because I think that they're not coming out quite like
Speaker 3: you they are. Okay. I think that one of the
Speaker 3: reasons that waffle House has been confined to the parts
Speaker 3: of the country that it has been is specifically because
Speaker 3: other states are like, we see the problems and we
Speaker 3: don't want them. Okay, we see, we see the issue,
Speaker 3: we see the issues. Hold on, we already have diners
Speaker 3: that are better. Don't bring that. Okay. Wow, I think
Speaker 3: that's what's happening.
Speaker 2: Wow mm hmm. The disrespect, that's all hearsay I have
Speaker 2: given you that, not even hearsay. That's Josh say, Okay,
Speaker 2: we don't know why these other states don't have a
Speaker 2: wife House. You don't know we also, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: you can't say that the reason Wilfa House isn't in
Speaker 2: other states. Is because of how Wilfi House has been
Speaker 2: presented to the people. You're the proof for that. You
Speaker 2: don't know. In the words of my mama, you don't know.
Speaker 2: You don't know because you don't know. Okay. But I
Speaker 2: think that's because big Diner, Okay, big.
Speaker 3: Diner, Big diner, okay.
Speaker 2: Is keeping out the little guy.
Speaker 3: The little guy, the little the little mega corporation that
Speaker 3: FEMA uses to track how bad a storm is.
Speaker 2: You cannot use FEMA. I'm now why because you used
Speaker 2: because you were like that sorces of just closed. No, no, no,
Speaker 2: you can't use it FEMA to defend your argument when
Speaker 2: you were just shitting on FEMA for using for Waffe
Speaker 2: House being with you can't do that.
Speaker 3: Now I can do I could do both because the
Speaker 3: association is still there.
Speaker 2: That's not no, no, no, that's not right. That's not right.
Speaker 2: That's not right.
Speaker 3: Denied that the association existed. I'm just saying it means
Speaker 3: femas and shambles, but it's also tracking something that's not
Speaker 3: a little guy. It's a mega corporation. So that's me
Speaker 3: throwing out my there's more likely big waff House. There
Speaker 3: is Big Diner Okay, I think that all these many
Speaker 3: different types of diners for them to form a coalition
Speaker 3: of eggs, bacon and hash browns and Monte crystal sandwiches
Speaker 3: to keep out the whuses. Waff House has the power.
Speaker 2: And a stuffed flounder and your Thanksgiving dinner and you're
Speaker 2: Calamari and I every thing I've ever had at a
Speaker 2: diner tasted reheated?
Speaker 3: Is that here saying?
Speaker 2: Is that?
Speaker 3: Is that here saying?
Speaker 2: Now I've worked in a restaurant before, and so of you.
Speaker 3: A restaurant, but I didn't know anything about one. You
Speaker 3: chapters Lengthen.
Speaker 2: There's too there's too much food. Your burgers might get
Speaker 2: in heavy rotation. Your breakfast stuff is definitely your eggs
Speaker 2: are gonna constantly be going.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but leggs, by the way, not just a bunch
Speaker 3: of egg juice, right, wif.
Speaker 2: House using whitle House uses real eggs.
Speaker 3: Are we sure about that?
Speaker 2: You see the basket of eggs when they're cooking your breakfast?
Speaker 2: You see them?
Speaker 3: You see a basket of eggs. Do we see them?
Speaker 2: Use? Yes?
Speaker 3: Me?
Speaker 2: Bro watch them. You've never seen them cook.
Speaker 3: I've seen them cook.
Speaker 2: They're right there. You're just being rude. Now you know,
Speaker 2: good and damn well they be using them eggs. You know,
Speaker 2: good and damn well they be using them eggs and eggs.
Speaker 2: Don't just sit there. You've seen them refill the basket. Okay,
Speaker 2: you've seen.
Speaker 3: Them reaching those plastic eggs. How do we know?
Speaker 2: Get off my internet, Get off my internet, Get off
Speaker 2: my internet. I will not do this with you. You
Speaker 2: can see them take the egg out the basket, crack it,
Speaker 2: put it in a bowl, mix scrambled eggs, or put
Speaker 2: it directly on the grill where some person is going
Speaker 2: to have just the raw sunnyside as ashy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's you know, hearsake because you said that. I
Speaker 3: heard it.
Speaker 2: Wow okay, no no, no, no, no, you had your
Speaker 2: Josh say, I had my duel say so I will
Speaker 2: not be.
Speaker 3: I mean, we have to give it to the people,
Speaker 3: all right now, we have to give it to the people.
Speaker 2: It's are you team? Because this is diners and so
Speaker 2: this is diners. Mean like any restaurant ends of the
Speaker 2: word diner or are we including I hopandemics are those diners?
Speaker 3: Personally? I find them to be diners.
Speaker 2: I know it's steak and shake is a diner.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think when we were talking about this, I don't
Speaker 2: I know, I wasn't considering the eye Hops or the Dennis.
Speaker 2: I was thinking waffle House versus your true true diners.
Speaker 3: Okay, So this is what we'll do, just to make
Speaker 3: it clear for the people as we wrap up. All right, Okay,
Speaker 3: when we go diners versus waffle House as well, I
Speaker 3: want you to keep in mind is that we're just
Speaker 3: talking about diners, like not not chains. So you know,
Speaker 3: you don't have to give up your Golden Corral, your Denny's,
Speaker 3: your Eye Hops or anything. We're just gonna have nd
Speaker 3: diners versus waffle House is an institution. Okay, I will
Speaker 3: say in the end, I can give you a little
Speaker 3: bit of ground that waffle House has a level of
Speaker 3: consistency that I appreciate. It also has a level of
Speaker 3: calm even in the chaos that I appreciate because when
Speaker 3: that dude's gun fell, it was like it was kind
Speaker 3: of nothing, like it was like we we all stats
Speaker 3: kind of nothing. But that's like that and a dine
Speaker 3: or someone would have run, yes, because.
Speaker 2: I'm sure the employees were the people that cared the
Speaker 2: least that a gun just hit the floor. But I
Speaker 2: can say the number of times I've seen a fight
Speaker 2: in a waffle house it has It's been less than ten.
Speaker 2: Calm down. I've never been worried like I was in
Speaker 2: a Like I saw a fight in an eye hop
Speaker 2: and I was like, Oh, we need to run. Yeah,
Speaker 2: they're fighting in an eye hop. This is this is
Speaker 2: a wild situation, right they mean it Like ever walked
Speaker 2: into somewhere and been like there's fight energy in here,
Speaker 2: Like there's just like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if I walk in and I smell like just
Speaker 3: the room smell yeah, spilled hennessy, I think that there's
Speaker 3: there's definitely something that's about something either already happened or
Speaker 3: something's about to happen.
Speaker 2: Like when you smell dark liquor in a room, just
Speaker 2: like like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you smell it like off the floor, like
Speaker 3: not I'm not talking about on people's breath or like
Speaker 3: pouring drinks or I'm talking about the whole room has
Speaker 3: a hint.
Speaker 2: You're like, no, we gotta go.
Speaker 3: I just want to thank everyone for listening. I appreciate
Speaker 3: the points that you made, and I hope you can
Speaker 3: see where I'm coming from that diners are far superior
Speaker 3: and you were.
Speaker 2: Not able to prove. You did not present any evidence
Speaker 2: to prove that diners are superior. All you did was
Speaker 2: try to bad mouth the WAFA house. You didn't give
Speaker 2: me anything to do. All you said was diners have
Speaker 2: a lot of options, and I order food like a child.
Speaker 3: So we're gonna hand it over to you, the listener.
Speaker 3: All right, we appreciate you. We thank you for tuning in,
Speaker 3: thank you.
Speaker 2: For listening to hold Up. It's always great to get
Speaker 2: Josh being wrong on WAX and I'm Jill Day's son.
Speaker 3: I'm Josh Johnson. This has been hold up.
Speaker 2: Hey, make sure you vote correctly. God's watching.
Speaker 3: Listen to hold Up wherever you get your podcasts, and
Speaker 3: watch the video version at Dailyshow dot com. Backslash hold
Speaker 3: Up m