Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hey, what's up? Where are you? Where are
Speaker 1: you right now? I'm hearing some like stuff in the background.
Speaker 2: Oh it needed me. I accidentally touched my cheek.
Speaker 1: Oh hello, yeah, hey, I can what's know? What's up? Man?
Speaker 1: What's going on? Where are you right now? You sound
Speaker 1: like you're at a place.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm at a hospital right now.
Speaker 1: You're at a hospital right now? Are you working there?
Speaker 1: Or are you dying?
Speaker 2: I'm a friend of somebody who's dying.
Speaker 1: Oh, oh, dear, I.
Speaker 2: Guess almost died, almost died.
Speaker 1: They're good now, Okay, that's just a big difference this.
Speaker 1: Are they dying? Well, I guess we're all dying. But
Speaker 1: are they well? How are you your friends?
Speaker 2: Oh, they're good now. They had like a tear in
Speaker 2: their brain from a car accident that happened years ago.
Speaker 2: And then oh yet super stressed recently and had like
Speaker 2: a seizure.
Speaker 1: Oh good now they're chilling now, yeah, they're chilling now. Okay,
Speaker 1: what what's your relationship to them? How do you know
Speaker 1: this person?
Speaker 2: Oh? I'm dating their daughter.
Speaker 1: Oh, this is your this is your girlfriend's father, mom, mother,
Speaker 1: This is your girlfriend's mom. Yeah, and how's she she's
Speaker 1: doing okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: It happened like a couple of days ago. They're just
Speaker 2: what is it? The dad asked to have her over
Speaker 2: like an extra day or two, so they're observing her,
Speaker 2: and she's.
Speaker 1: Going, all right, all right, cool, how's your girlfriend? How's
Speaker 1: your girlfriend? I'm I'm here's the thing, and here I
Speaker 1: guess why I'm I am going to assume that I
Speaker 1: guess it's easy to assume that your girlfriend's mom is
Speaker 1: doing okay, because if she wasn't, I'm going to assume
Speaker 1: you're a good enough boyfriend that you wouldn't be on
Speaker 1: the phone with the therapy gecko in this moment if
Speaker 1: your girlfriend's mom was in horrible pain right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, she's she's doing wonderful. Okay, my girlfriend, she
Speaker 2: was trusted first, but she's you know, cause she's all
Speaker 2: stabilized now and thinks they're good yesterday. But yeah, so
Speaker 2: it should be all right, should be all.
Speaker 3: Right for now?
Speaker 2: For now?
Speaker 1: Is your girlfriend there with you in the hospital?
Speaker 2: She is? Actually?
Speaker 1: Yeah, where where is? Where are you are you in
Speaker 1: like a hallway or are you in the hospital room?
Speaker 1: Like where are you taking this phone call from?
Speaker 2: I'm in I'm in a hallway that's like a cross
Speaker 2: from their room.
Speaker 1: M okay, okay, what are you How long have you
Speaker 1: been at this hospital? For so far.
Speaker 2: Personally it's been like a what time are they in it?
Speaker 2: I'd say like two and a half hours.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, well well let's well let me do this.
Speaker 1: What's your name, by.
Speaker 2: The way, Angel?
Speaker 1: Angel?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Well Angel? I mean we could keep just chit chatting,
Speaker 1: but uh, I guess before we do that, I'll ask
Speaker 1: you if there's anything in particular that you called in
Speaker 1: to talk about.
Speaker 2: I mean, I've got I've got two things I'll that
Speaker 2: you choose. They both have like a bit of context.
Speaker 2: When I was seven, I got legally kidnapped by my
Speaker 2: grandparents mm hmm. And then there's I financially supported two
Speaker 2: people for about four years to find out recently that
Speaker 2: apparently like halfway through they cheated on me the entire time.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, we got we gotta all.
Speaker 1: Right, Well, well talk to me here. What's the most
Speaker 1: What's I'm curious? I mean about your life presently. I
Speaker 1: guess which of these things is more present for you.
Speaker 2: I'd probably have to say the getting cheated on and say,
Speaker 2: listen me with like an eight point four thousand dollars
Speaker 2: bill for the apartment.
Speaker 1: Jeez.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I mean like I worked it out, you know,
Speaker 2: just got to deal with the bill.
Speaker 1: I suppose, uh yeah, man, what happened?
Speaker 2: Ah? So, like, oh man, starting in Colorado, I suppose
Speaker 2: went from Colorado, we moved to Oregon. And I've known
Speaker 2: this lady, this chick name since I was like fourteen.
Speaker 1: We're gonna bleep that maybe we're gonna bleep that we're
Speaker 1: gonna call her, uh, Lorraine so that everyone can assume
Speaker 1: that you're dating an eighty five year old woman.
Speaker 2: All right, all right, Lorae, you're right, You're right, Lorette.
Speaker 2: So I've known Lorene since I was like fourteen, and
Speaker 2: was it. We started officially dating like seventeen. We move
Speaker 2: out together and like first six months is all right,
Speaker 2: she's hold them down a job, you know, she's doing
Speaker 2: all right. I meet some of her friends, her friends,
Speaker 2: and I we all move out to an apartment together.
Speaker 2: We do that for like six months, and the original
Speaker 2: plan was like I was gonna move to Maine with
Speaker 2: Larat and they were like, no, what's uh, Let's go
Speaker 2: with the roommates in the Oregon because one of the roommates. Oh,
Speaker 2: grandma had like dementia and they moved her Grandma of
Speaker 2: the Oregon and she was like, you know, my mom
Speaker 2: will pay for it. She's well off. She's got like
Speaker 2: what is it called, like dead people money inheritance. There
Speaker 2: you go. So we're like, okay, you know, I don't
Speaker 2: really know where we're going to get, no plan. Like
Speaker 2: I know, I was iffy on it, but I was like,
Speaker 2: all right, you know, if you want to do it, Loraine,
Speaker 2: you got this. So we move on over there and
Speaker 2: maybe around like twenty twenty one, twenty two, I think
Speaker 2: twenty twenty one, and I was one of the first
Speaker 2: ones to get a job. Lorraine almost the entire time
Speaker 2: did not have a job, so doesn't have a job.
Speaker 2: But we're still like working through it. And there's one
Speaker 2: time I'm like, hey, like Lorraine, I'm not gonna lie
Speaker 2: you do they need to like make rent by the
Speaker 2: end of this month or no, I give it like
Speaker 2: three months. I was like, in three months you kind
Speaker 2: of need to like start making rent.
Speaker 1: Or how how old are you guys? At this point
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 2: I'd like to say eighteen or nineteen.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, geez, So how old is she at the
Speaker 1: same age.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we're like a month apart.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, so I mean yeah, so you guys
Speaker 1: are like really doing it at the fresh eighteen.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, No, seventeen is when we originally moved out.
Speaker 2: But eighteen we moved out of the state, and I
Speaker 2: was pretty just locked in financially, right, it gets to
Speaker 2: a point where I'm covering her rent and mine and
Speaker 2: that's like fourteen hundred and then I'm also helping Okay,
Speaker 2: what's his name, I'm.
Speaker 1: Gonna go, well, that's I mean, that's yeah, that's wild
Speaker 1: to be doing that so young.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I've I've been working since I was
Speaker 2: like fourteen, so it's nothing new.
Speaker 1: Mm hm.
Speaker 2: But uh yeah. I locked in on that, like I
Speaker 2: got my g D. I kind of I was up
Speaker 2: in Maine for a bit and then I came over
Speaker 2: to help her out. That's the Colorado and then moving
Speaker 2: into Oregon. It was a domino effect and so what
Speaker 2: is it? Yeah, I basically do all that support them
Speaker 2: cover I'm gonna call them Zach cover Zach's bills as well.
Speaker 1: Okay, who's who is Zach?
Speaker 2: Zach is a fan a least name that I made
Speaker 2: for the guy she cheated on me with.
Speaker 1: Okay, wait, but so why are you Okay, so you
Speaker 1: so you're living in a So you're eighteen, you're living
Speaker 1: with your eighteen year old girlfriend and some guy, uh.
Speaker 2: Some not some guy. It's also same roommates that we
Speaker 2: had an Oregon. I mean in Colorado, we have an Oregon.
Speaker 2: Now we're not right now, but like when.
Speaker 1: We okay, so you your girlfriend and so okay, so
Speaker 1: you and your girlfriend and these roommates all moved together
Speaker 1: to uh Orgon from from Colorado. Yeah, and we're like, okay,
Speaker 1: so now you're so you're financially so you're eighteen years
Speaker 1: old and you're financially supporting the whole fucking house.
Speaker 2: No, no, just Lorraine and Zach.
Speaker 1: Okay, why are you support Why are you financially supporting Zach?
Speaker 2: Oh? Well, he was like, oh, there was a bad
Speaker 2: choice at the time, but it was like he was
Speaker 2: like I considered him kind of like a little brother figure,
Speaker 2: you know, because I related to a lot of the
Speaker 2: issues he had because through like a bunch of physical abuse,
Speaker 2: he was a little held back, like kind of mentally.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, you know, I kind of I pitied
Speaker 2: him a little bit, and I felt bad for him.
Speaker 2: Its like I knew how rough it was, so yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, I got you a little bit. You know,
Speaker 2: I'll get you here and there, like so much so
Speaker 2: that I did genuinely consider him to be a little brother.
Speaker 2: And like, near the end of that whole renting thing,
Speaker 2: we're going to move into a separate place, which we did,
Speaker 2: but then he ended up on my phone plan as well,
Speaker 2: so I was paying for his phone bill and uh,
Speaker 2: paying for her phone bill as well. Yeah, and then
Speaker 2: what is it. We're moving to this new apartment and
Speaker 2: she's having issue again. But we moved out of the
Speaker 2: like we moved away from the other roommates, and we
Speaker 2: moved into this new apartment with a different roommate, and
Speaker 2: we're clutching up a little bit. Except Lorraine loses their job,
Speaker 2: Zach loses their job, and then the other roommate also
Speaker 2: loses their job, and it's just me and I'm making, like,
Speaker 2: you know, fourteen hundred a month. I can't cover like
Speaker 2: two point one k phil, So I'm struggling. I'm struggling.
Speaker 2: I'm like, guys, I don't know if we can you know,
Speaker 2: if this is sustainable.
Speaker 1: Well wait, so you were making fourteen hundred dollars a month,
Speaker 1: how were you even covered? How were you even like
Speaker 1: making enough to like support I mean, I mean, damn,
Speaker 1: like fourteen hundred a month, Like, how are you even making?
Speaker 1: That's like barely I guess enough to even support yourself,
Speaker 1: let alone like two other people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, it was tough. It was tough. I just
Speaker 2: had to Like it's fourteen hundred a month. I'm not
Speaker 2: like trying too hard, but I'd say it was around
Speaker 2: maybe like sixteen eighteen two k if I was really
Speaker 2: able to pick up enough shifts because I was like
Speaker 2: working at a David Blusters fixing up games. Oh and
Speaker 2: then the travel time was crazy. It was like an
Speaker 2: hour and a half, almost two hours to get to
Speaker 2: my job too each way. And yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: And you're and you're doing and you're doing all of
Speaker 1: this at eighteen you're driving, You're you're doing three hour
Speaker 1: commute every fucking day.
Speaker 2: Yeah, to make and I'd be closing, so it'd be
Speaker 2: like icy, and oh it'd be terrible. It'd be like
Speaker 2: one thirty am and I'm walking it's like windy, it's icy.
Speaker 2: I'm like, all right, you know what though, like I
Speaker 2: like the job, I like fixing games, I like electricians work.
Speaker 2: So you know, I was suffering for an alright cause
Speaker 2: because I enjoyed it.
Speaker 1: Damn dude, what can where can I?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 1: I have a couple quick. I want to hear the
Speaker 1: rest of your story, but I just I want to
Speaker 1: butt in with like two questions. How old are you?
Speaker 1: How old are you now? How old do you know?
Speaker 2: I turned twenty one in March.
Speaker 1: You turn twenty one in March. Yeah, I thought you
Speaker 1: were like at least seven years older than me. Honest
Speaker 1: to god, No, you have You have the march. You
Speaker 1: have the demeanor and the the ethics of someone who
Speaker 1: I thought was at least thirty nine years old.
Speaker 2: I appreciate that. A lot of people tell me I
Speaker 2: have a lot of restraint. Like it was me and
Speaker 2: my it was me and your situation. I would have
Speaker 2: been like airing the place. They're like starting fights, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, I'm just too tired for that. You know,
Speaker 2: HEEZU are kidnapped?
Speaker 1: Who the fuck are you?
Speaker 2: Man?
Speaker 1: You're what what kind of what's up with your uh?
Speaker 1: What's up with your parents? Like? Where were they at
Speaker 1: the time?
Speaker 2: My mom is a main and she's dealing with like
Speaker 2: another two siblings that I got. My dad's he's a deadbeat,
Speaker 2: you know, deadbie dad type situation.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: And uh, you know, my mom's trying to she was
Speaker 2: trying to start up her own business. I was helping
Speaker 2: her out with that, which is part of the reason
Speaker 2: why I was working at fourteen. Well no, because when
Speaker 2: I met her, I was like sixteen. So when I
Speaker 2: was working at fourteen, it was more like gang activity.
Speaker 2: But then I moved to Maine started helping my mom out,
Speaker 2: and I turned into like cleaning airbnbs and construction work
Speaker 2: and poring and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: Shit man, all right, summer stuff. All right, so you're eighteen, Uh,
Speaker 1: your you move out, You're supporting your girlfriends and uh
Speaker 1: uh this other guy you're driving three hours back and
Speaker 1: forth to work bubblic transport. Oh you're taking You're taken
Speaker 1: the fucking bus. Your walking and taking the fucking bus
Speaker 1: to a day buster an hour and a half. Yeah, but.
Speaker 2: Oh sorry, sorry. One time I ended up closing and
Speaker 2: I didn't have a ride, so I had to walk
Speaker 2: the ten miles. When it is funny, it was like
Speaker 2: one thirty am and I'm just walking all the way
Speaker 2: from from clack Toggresham. That one was nice.
Speaker 1: I genuinely I feel I feel like such a baby
Speaker 1: talking to you right now. I really do, I really do.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you get that very often, but
Speaker 1: I feel like a baby.
Speaker 2: Please don't. I've been wanting to call you for years,
Speaker 2: like I actually I called you one time and I
Speaker 2: made it to the wait list. I think in like
Speaker 2: twenty twenty one. When I first moved into the apartment
Speaker 2: in Colorado, I got rejected because it was a dumb
Speaker 2: reason though it was really dumb. I was like, what
Speaker 2: about streaming? And I was like, no that everybody asks that,
Speaker 2: so well.
Speaker 1: Mist well here let me. I want to hear the
Speaker 1: rest of your stories. So you're okay, You're you're you're eighteen,
Speaker 1: you're the Dave and Buster's hero, You're taking the bus,
Speaker 1: You're walking home in the rain. What, uh yeah? But ahead.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So then we move into this other apartment with
Speaker 2: the other rooms, right, everybody loses their job. Nikkia's packing
Speaker 2: stuff and I'm I'm a little autistic, Right, she's packing stuff.
Speaker 2: She just moved from like her room into the loft
Speaker 2: and She's like, I don't know, it's just cluttering, and
Speaker 2: I'm kind of a minimalist, so I was like, no, honestly,
Speaker 2: I get that. I didn't think of anything of it
Speaker 2: until like a week later, she just disappears and like
Speaker 2: sends us a message to being like, hey, i'll come
Speaker 2: back to sign off the lease later. I'll try and
Speaker 2: help you' all find a different roommate, but I can't
Speaker 2: do it. A little before then, I break up with
Speaker 2: Lorraine because it's like, you know, it's draining. I can't
Speaker 2: handle it. And she immediately gets with Zach, like immediately
Speaker 2: sleeping in his bed. You know, they're chilling together, cuddling up,
Speaker 2: getting cozy, drink and all that. So I'm like, all right,
Speaker 2: you know, I might as well, like I'll put myself
Speaker 2: back out of the field as well, which they get
Speaker 2: angry at, which is weird to me. So it's like
Speaker 2: I'm following your rules, you know, like I've been. I
Speaker 2: didn't just do this randomly. I just want to, like,
Speaker 2: I gotta get my mind off it, because not only
Speaker 2: do I know you're with somebody that considered to be
Speaker 2: my little brother, you're with it like you're with him
Speaker 2: in the same house, I have to see it daily,
Speaker 2: like you gotta get you gotta give me a break,
Speaker 2: m hm. And so they they also tried to say
Speaker 2: like that I was a big cheater and that I
Speaker 2: was cheating the entire time. And then I realized, like
Speaker 2: there's a lot of projection because since the old house,
Speaker 2: they would like like apparently when I wasn't there, they'd
Speaker 2: be like holding hands or like we would come home
Speaker 2: and they're like both asleep on the couch together and
Speaker 2: like stuff like that. But because I saw him as
Speaker 2: a little mentally delayed, and I related to his issues
Speaker 2: because he's got a dead mom and I'm a big
Speaker 2: mom in his voice, so I was like, oh, poor Zach.
Speaker 2: You know, poor Zach. I wouldn't expect him to do
Speaker 2: anything like that. And then she right after they all
Speaker 2: lose jobs, Zach and Lorraine get together, we start to
Speaker 2: lose the apartment because right you know, nobody's paying rent
Speaker 2: except for me, and I can't pay two thousand dollars
Speaker 2: in rent as well as I like, what is it electricity?
Speaker 2: Wi Fi? Phone bill? Like food? I can't cover it all,
Speaker 2: Like I'm drowning. So I'm like, hey, guys, you know,
Speaker 2: I don't want to catch this eviction. I really suggest,
Speaker 2: like you guys got to get a plan or something
Speaker 2: to do something because we either get the money to
Speaker 2: pay for this or I give up ownership because I
Speaker 2: can't take this eviction on my record. So they moved
Speaker 2: to Colorado together and I I move out and they
Speaker 2: kind of foot me with the eight point four grand bill,
Speaker 2: which is I mean, it sucks, but I've got to couch.
Speaker 2: I'm paying like five hundred four I guess, so I'm warm.
Speaker 2: I've said I can deal with it. I have time
Speaker 2: to deal with it, you know, I can build it
Speaker 2: the funds and the girlfriend I have right now, her
Speaker 2: dad offered me a job like fifty one an hour
Speaker 2: at a construction site that starts in March.
Speaker 1: So, oh wow, pretty good. Yeah, damn man, So what's yeah?
Speaker 1: Tell me about what what's your life look like?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 2: I'm living with the original roommates we moved out with.
Speaker 2: What do I call them? I'm gonna go with.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with, well, well, so, so how many arias?
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna probably forget those two nass but so
Speaker 1: it's you and and those two yeah, and so Zach
Speaker 1: and Lorraine are gone. They're doing their own thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they moved to Colorado. She's still like making reposts
Speaker 2: about me, which I'm like, come on, man, if you
Speaker 2: have a man, you should be thinking about me anymore,
Speaker 2: especially you've been cheating with this dude for a minute.
Speaker 1: Well so are you? She told Yeah, you go, sorry,
Speaker 1: go ahead.
Speaker 2: Oh I was just gonna say I found out because
Speaker 2: she told a mutual friend of ours, and the mutual
Speaker 2: friend like reached out to me to be like, hey,
Speaker 2: I just want to let you know, Like she told
Speaker 2: me this, and I was like, oh, I'm at work
Speaker 2: right now, but thanks for letting me know.
Speaker 1: So are and you are? Are your two roommates? Are
Speaker 1: they paying rent?
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're paying rent, which is good. And I have
Speaker 2: very reduced rent because I got the couch. I'm only
Speaker 2: paying five hundred now, which is a big step down
Speaker 2: from like fourteen fifteen and sixteen hundred a mile.
Speaker 4: Man.
Speaker 1: God, damn, you're you're you're you're a real like I
Speaker 1: don't know, just talking to you, I'm like, Damn, you're
Speaker 1: only twenty one or you're not even twenty one yet.
Speaker 2: You have twenty right now?
Speaker 1: Twenty one Jesus week christ Man, You're gonna be I
Speaker 1: don't I don't want to like inflate your head too
Speaker 1: much or whatever. But you're gonna be okay for the
Speaker 1: rest of your life, you know what I mean? Because
Speaker 1: you I really I don't. I know that's a lot
Speaker 1: to say to you right now. And I'm but and
Speaker 1: I don't know how much that's worth coming from me,
Speaker 1: but just hearing the way that you fucking you know
Speaker 1: are just going out of your way to take care
Speaker 1: of other people. And but some by the way, at
Speaker 1: your you're going out of your way to take care
Speaker 1: of other people at your own detriment, which has, you know,
Speaker 1: its own set of whatever's But uh, I mean, god
Speaker 1: damn dude, you just uh you got you got this
Speaker 1: crazy uh work ethic to you. It's such a Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know any when I was twenty, I don't
Speaker 1: know anyone else who uh would you know put up
Speaker 1: with all of this stuff. I mean, it's it's uh,
Speaker 1: it's interesting, it's commendable. What's your dream? What do you
Speaker 1: want to actually do with your what do you want
Speaker 1: to do with your life? Oh?
Speaker 2: I wanna two things that either you like, it's kind
Speaker 2: of dumb. But I either want to like pro game
Speaker 2: and stream or become an electrician. So I'm gonna rock
Speaker 2: out with both of those and try. I suppose are
Speaker 2: you already an electrician, adds anybody in the electrician field.
Speaker 2: Almost I'm like a game technician, or I used to be,
Speaker 2: because I just switched jobs because I needed more hours. So, like,
Speaker 2: I know more about the and that's what kind of
Speaker 2: got me into that field because I was messing with wires,
Speaker 2: you know, I'm checking the olms of stuff, switching out
Speaker 2: microboards and chips and disassembling things to put a switch
Speaker 2: in somewhere. Like I sound that really fun. So it's
Speaker 2: like I either want to do that if I can't,
Speaker 2: or not even can't. I'll even do that main or
Speaker 2: on the side if I have the pro gaming streaming
Speaker 2: thing comes to fruition as well.
Speaker 1: Well. Look, here's the thing. If you think you want
Speaker 1: to be I don't know why I'm giving advice right now.
Speaker 1: You know I could ask you for advice more than
Speaker 1: I could give any to you, but I don't know. Look,
Speaker 1: if you want to be an electrician and you want
Speaker 1: to be a programmer, I think the cool thing is
Speaker 1: that you could do both. I mean, the electrician is
Speaker 1: probably where the money is and then you know, stream
Speaker 1: and play games on the side and enjoy your fucking life.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm hoping. I'm hoping. You know, it's a big hope.
Speaker 2: It's a big prey. I gotta I think one of
Speaker 2: the big things I've gotta do is learn to like
Speaker 2: know when to stop taking care of people, because I
Speaker 2: think I have like a savior conflict about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I guess that was kind of one of
Speaker 1: the I mean, oh, I don't know. It's it's hard,
Speaker 1: right because I actually I I think it's obviously it's
Speaker 1: like good to care about other people, but especially like
Speaker 1: I don't know, just at eighteen to be taken on all. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's this just too much. It's too much man at
Speaker 1: a at that uhh yeah, young of young of an
Speaker 1: age to be doing that. So I mean, I guess
Speaker 1: I don't I really, I I don't know. I guess, Like,
Speaker 1: do you think that you're like taking care of people
Speaker 1: like to your own detriment?
Speaker 2: I mean I think I used to. Right now, I'm
Speaker 2: just kind of I honestly couldn't tell you like if
Speaker 2: I am or not, because like ever since childhood. It's
Speaker 2: just been a thing to like, you know, I was
Speaker 2: forced to work since a young age. I was forced
Speaker 2: to look at for other people my entire life. So
Speaker 2: it's just kind of comes naturally, you know. So yeah,
Speaker 2: like I couldn't even tell if it's detrimental or not
Speaker 2: until after the fact, And like all the things I've
Speaker 2: done previously are usually detrimental. But like while I'm going
Speaker 2: through the motion, you know, like I'm just doing.
Speaker 1: It, okay, all right, Well man, Well look man, I
Speaker 1: don't know. You work hard, so I make sure that
Speaker 1: you're doing all right before you, you know, rip your
Speaker 1: own fucking uh, you know, before you stick a straw
Speaker 1: in your hearts and let other people suck all the
Speaker 1: blood out of your body.
Speaker 2: So I need to work on that. I do need
Speaker 2: to work on.
Speaker 1: It's been nice talking to you. Man. What's your name again? Angel?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Angel? Oh, you know we're gonna bleep that we're
Speaker 1: gonna bleep that we're gonna I'm gonna believe, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna we're air. We're a fake first name only podcast
Speaker 1: over here, so we're gonna bleep that.
Speaker 2: I appreciate.
Speaker 1: Angel. Is there anything else you want to say to
Speaker 1: the people of the computer before we go.
Speaker 2: Oh, let's see we keep it pushing, Keep it pushing.
Speaker 2: No matter what happens, you can always find a way.
Speaker 2: You won't find a way if you're just stressing about
Speaker 2: what will. You gotta just do what you can with
Speaker 2: what you got.
Speaker 1: Hey, take care, Angel, Good luck to you.
Speaker 2: Hey, you too, man, goodbye.
Speaker 1: Man. What a fascinating interview with a fifty three year
Speaker 1: old twenty year old That guy was. I don't know,
Speaker 1: sometimes you just like you guys, you ever just talk
Speaker 1: to someone who has like, uh, just makes you feel
Speaker 1: like such a piece of shit. That was what that
Speaker 1: whole conversation was. That whole conversation made me feel like
Speaker 1: a piece of shit. Not to make it about me,
Speaker 1: but yeah, that guy what a he That guy just
Speaker 1: bent his entire body into a a fucking slinky for
Speaker 1: for people who fucked them over, and uh, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm sure I look it was a bit of some
Speaker 1: time ago. But he doesn't even say That's the thing is,
Speaker 1: he doesn't even seem rattled about it. He doesn't even
Speaker 1: seem rattled about it. He just keeps going. This guy
Speaker 1: he's gonna be even sometimes I just talk to people
Speaker 1: on this podcast and I'm like, Oh, this fucking guy's
Speaker 1: gonna be fine. This person's gonna be fine because they
Speaker 1: just have the thing that lets them just take life's
Speaker 1: uh miseries and spit them out uh uh with with
Speaker 1: with so much grace. It's fascinating. I wish I had that.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to work on that a little bit more.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to work on like life not being perfect
Speaker 1: and amazing all the time, and the more and I
Speaker 1: keep I it's hard. I don't want to. I just
Speaker 1: I know my own real life brain so much, and
Speaker 1: I don't want to be one of those motivational people
Speaker 1: who sits on a podcast and goes, life is all
Speaker 1: about perspective and then go into my real life and
Speaker 1: you know, mentally complain. But I just keep running across
Speaker 1: situations in my real life and in doing this podcast
Speaker 1: that just make me keep being like, damn, life is
Speaker 1: about perspective. Especially you know when we have a caller
Speaker 1: like this last one who just you know, gets it, uh,
Speaker 1: who just gets it in the in the fucking chest,
Speaker 1: takes it with pride, keeps going. He's gonna be fine.
Speaker 1: I really I hope he You know he's unfortunately, he's
Speaker 1: a great target for like a love scam or something
Speaker 1: like that. I hope he doesn't. I hope he I
Speaker 1: hope he maintains some kind of like self preservation. This guy, right,
Speaker 1: that's the way. That's a weird conundrum. It's like how
Speaker 1: much do you attempt to self preserve versus how much
Speaker 1: do you uh give to others? Because if you if
Speaker 1: you're one hundred percent self preservation, you're gonna be fucking
Speaker 1: miserable and alone. But if you're one hundred percent giving
Speaker 1: to other people, then you're you won't You're not gonna
Speaker 1: have anything, and you're also gonna be just uh uh
Speaker 1: an empty squeeze. You're gonnnna be a an empty plastic
Speaker 1: water bottle in a gutter. You know, I don't know
Speaker 1: I'm being dramatic. I'm being dramatic. Uh okay, Hello, Hello, Hey,
Speaker 1: what's your name?
Speaker 3: My name's Abby?
Speaker 1: Abby? What's up? Abby? Like Abbey Road? You know the Beatles?
Speaker 3: A little bit?
Speaker 1: Not too much?
Speaker 3: Sadly?
Speaker 1: How old are you? Can? I ask?
Speaker 3: Nineteen?
Speaker 1: Okay? I you know, I was just thinking about this.
Speaker 1: We're getting to a point in time where I was like,
Speaker 1: at some point, there's gonna be like a generation of
Speaker 1: people who just don't know who the Beatles are.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sorry, do you know anything.
Speaker 1: About do you know? Like, do you know anything about
Speaker 1: the Beatles? I don't know. I don't know why I'm
Speaker 1: doing this right now, but I'm just curious.
Speaker 3: Oh no, you're good. Uh. I know they're I know
Speaker 3: they're British. I know John Lennon is kind of maybe
Speaker 3: a bad guy. I know they I know they have
Speaker 3: some pretty good songs. Okay, I can't list too many, but.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, you're but you're you're aware that the Beatles exist. Yes,
Speaker 1: you know who they are? You know, like if I
Speaker 1: say the Beatles, you're not like, what's that?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay, but the but the information you had, can you
Speaker 1: name one Beatles song?
Speaker 3: Uh? Isn't there? Hey, Jude, there's.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, there we go. Okay, all right, and you're
Speaker 1: nineteen Okay, so we're a we're It's only I think
Speaker 1: in the next five years we're gonna have nineteen year
Speaker 1: olds who don't know who the Beatles are.
Speaker 3: Really, you really think that?
Speaker 1: I think? So, I don't know. I'm such an I'm
Speaker 1: I'm insane. I I I'm in. I was talking to
Speaker 1: chat GPT and I was like, when do you I
Speaker 1: This is something I literally asked to chat GPT. I
Speaker 1: was like, when do you think people will forget about Garfield?
Speaker 3: That's that's like how old me because you know, the
Speaker 3: Internet and everything, Like I feel like I feel like
Speaker 3: that kind of stuff's just going to be around for
Speaker 3: a really long time.
Speaker 1: But I but I don't because like every because here's
Speaker 1: the thing, like, like I don't like if you're like,
Speaker 1: if you're like fifteen, you're probably watching some like YouTube
Speaker 1: thing that like I that, like, I have no fucking
Speaker 1: idea what it is like you're probably not like like
Speaker 1: the like when I was fifteen, there were still like
Speaker 1: we would go to I don't know why I'm going
Speaker 1: on this rant, but like there would be like a
Speaker 1: movie that everyone would watch. But now like for young people,
Speaker 1: like media is so like segregated and and uh not
Speaker 1: every it's it's not as homogeneous I think it was,
Speaker 1: and it's getting like rapidly less and less homogenous. So
Speaker 1: I just wouldn't be surprised if there were like a
Speaker 1: lot of like I don't know, like people in high school.
Speaker 1: We just don't know who Garfield is? Like like soon,
Speaker 1: like where would you where do you find out who
Speaker 1: Garfield is? Like? Like who on Twitter and TikTok and
Speaker 1: Instagram is like talking about Garfield? Like how do people
Speaker 1: even keep knowing who he is? Does that make sense?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I guess that makes sense, But I guess I
Speaker 3: don't know. For me growing up on the Internet, I
Speaker 3: kind of just got everything all at once, just thrown
Speaker 3: up me, you know, so I feel like it's yeah,
Speaker 3: I feel like it will last a pretty long time.
Speaker 1: But it's interest because when you say you got everything
Speaker 1: thrown at you all at once, it's like, well, what
Speaker 1: is everything? I mean, you know, who's you know, SpongeBob
Speaker 1: it's gonna do? I think SpongeBob is gonna be around
Speaker 1: for a long time.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, of course, of course.
Speaker 1: But you weren't like when like okay, so the first
Speaker 1: three seasons of SpongeBob is where most of the memes
Speaker 1: come from. It's like the Golden Age, and like I
Speaker 1: think I was at like SpongeBob watching age a little
Speaker 1: bit after those came out, but you you were probably
Speaker 1: at SpongeBob watching age like long after those came out,
Speaker 1: Like we were on the SpongeBob seasons that people consider
Speaker 1: shitty when you were around, like the age that SpongeBob
Speaker 1: is I guess marketed towards.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess you could say that. I think my
Speaker 3: parents actually bought like the older disc or like the
Speaker 3: older seasons of SpongeBob.
Speaker 1: When we were growing up, yeah.
Speaker 3: Instead of like the newer ones.
Speaker 1: There go there, Like are you familiar you know the
Speaker 1: episode where squid word forms a band? Oh? Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: all right. I don't know why. I just I guess
Speaker 1: I'm like pessimistic because I don't know, uh a lot
Speaker 1: about like like do you watch like mister Beast, Like
Speaker 1: who's the guy now?
Speaker 3: I I don't. I don't really know. Like I think
Speaker 3: I'm just too busy with like college. I don't know.
Speaker 3: I write interesting thing about mister Beasts is I actually
Speaker 3: knew someone from my high school who got on to
Speaker 3: his Amazon show.
Speaker 1: Oh really had that go for them? By the Dead.
Speaker 3: I think they got out first episode. I think they
Speaker 3: had like a one like second thing.
Speaker 1: But it was so cool.
Speaker 3: Seeing that.
Speaker 1: I have a random thought. I'm a hold on about it.
Speaker 1: I know that you called in probably to talk about something,
Speaker 1: and we're going to get there, but I just need
Speaker 1: to talk about Garfield for like one more minute.
Speaker 3: Oh you're so good, don't even worry.
Speaker 1: I was talking of I opened my l the last
Speaker 1: podcast by talking about how we're part of the six
Speaker 1: percent of people who are alive out of all the
Speaker 1: people that I've ever been born, and I got there
Speaker 1: was somebody made a comment because you can make like
Speaker 1: comments on Spotify now, and somebody made a comment being
Speaker 1: likely lyle you need to shut the fuck up about death.
Speaker 1: You're clear you're you need to see a therapist. You're
Speaker 1: clearly very depressed, but like you need to shut up
Speaker 1: about it and like go get therapy, you're depressed. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, maybe I actually think this person is right.
Speaker 1: I think I think about death too much because I
Speaker 1: just had this thought just now. I was like, like,
Speaker 1: in like, okay, human being, let's say you live to eighty,
Speaker 1: Like how much time of the eighty years of your
Speaker 1: life does the average person spend looking at Garfield?
Speaker 3: That's interesting. I thought it was a completely different route,
Speaker 3: more depressing of like you're being like more depressing of
Speaker 3: like how how long does the average person out spend
Speaker 3: looking at their phone? But I guess Garfield's a lot.
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, that's really depressing. Oh well, because all
Speaker 1: the there's like you can you can mathematic there is
Speaker 1: a mathematical percentage. I'm looking at a picture of Garfield
Speaker 1: right now. There's a mathematical percentage. Fuck you know what.
Speaker 1: Fuck that Spotify comment right now, Fuck that Spotify comment
Speaker 1: or guy, I'm gonna I'm gonna keep talking about death.
Speaker 1: It's important. I'm looking at Garfield right now. And it's
Speaker 1: like if you I always wonder about like, uh, you
Speaker 1: ever you ever heard that thing of like, oh, when
Speaker 1: I die, it would be cool to have like stats,
Speaker 1: Like there's a stat there's a literal percentage of the
Speaker 1: time I have been alive and the time that I
Speaker 1: will until from now until I die that you can
Speaker 1: calculate that is a number of the percentage of time
Speaker 1: that I have been alive that my eyes have been
Speaker 1: looking at Garfield. And I'm just curious what that percentage is.
Speaker 1: And I'm curious what that percentage is. You know, nationally,
Speaker 1: across all the people that have died for nineteen U
Speaker 1: seventy six, the answer was zero percent. But then after
Speaker 1: Garfield was created, that number went up. Okay, what'd you
Speaker 1: want to Okay, all right, I'm done with this. What
Speaker 1: did you want to talk about today?
Speaker 3: Well, I was just gonna I was just gonna ask
Speaker 3: how often do you think about Garfield?
Speaker 1: If you're truly not truly not that often, truly, not
Speaker 1: that often. I just I don't know why, but I
Speaker 1: just like searched. That is because chatch apt It's like
Speaker 1: talking to fucking god dude, and you can ask it
Speaker 1: insane questions and it will human because if you because
Speaker 1: if you're like talking to your friend and you're like,
Speaker 1: do you think people when do you think Garfields will
Speaker 1: be forgotten? Your friend will go, what's shut up? What
Speaker 1: are you talking about? That's a really stupid thing. But
Speaker 1: if you have a really stupid question and you ask
Speaker 1: it to AI AI will you it will use power
Speaker 1: to fucking try to answer your stupid question. Will never
Speaker 1: tell you that your question is too stupid. Sometimes I
Speaker 1: think it should sometimes I think if you ask Garfield
Speaker 1: a question like I mean, if did Garfield? If you
Speaker 1: ask chat Chipetia a question like when will people forget Garfield?
Speaker 1: I do think as part of a like an artificial
Speaker 1: intelligence safeguard to prevent it from destroying humanity. It should
Speaker 1: tell you to go outside, but it doesn't do that.
Speaker 1: It actually helps you answer your stupid questions. What's up?
Speaker 1: What's your name? Again? No?
Speaker 3: Abby, I do wonder what chat GPT would say to
Speaker 3: your question now though, Yeah, but.
Speaker 1: You could just you could just keep asking. I've asked
Speaker 1: it so many questions that are just are like, I
Speaker 1: don't need why do I need to know the answer
Speaker 1: to this? Sometimes sometimes having questions is better than having answers.
Speaker 3: Sometimes you don't need to know the answer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't like reading the chat on the podcast,
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna do it. Somebody in the chat just
Speaker 1: said good friends will hear out any question students that
Speaker 1: you ask, And I don't think that that's necessarily true.
Speaker 1: I think occasionally a good friend, you know what, Maybe
Speaker 1: that's true. Maybe that's true. But if you if you
Speaker 1: ask if I treated my good friend the way I
Speaker 1: treat CHATGBT, if I if my good friend was good enough,
Speaker 1: my good friend would be like, you need to just
Speaker 1: you need to drink some water and have a cigarette
Speaker 1: and you'll be Okay, what's up? Abby?
Speaker 3: You just got to keep people real. I'm doing all right.
Speaker 3: I just got the flu. But that's okay because I'm
Speaker 3: getting better.
Speaker 1: Uh, that's a very optimistic talk to have. I'm curious,
Speaker 1: and it's totally okay if you didn't, because we found
Speaker 1: our way to whatever this is. But do you have
Speaker 1: something specific that you wanted to talk about today?
Speaker 3: I have a very interesting story to tell.
Speaker 1: I guess what's it about.
Speaker 3: So I'm a twin and when I was younger, my
Speaker 3: mom signed me and my brother up for a twin
Speaker 3: study and it went very interesting. I'll say that.
Speaker 1: Okay, care to elaborate.
Speaker 3: So I guess I was like, I don't really know
Speaker 3: how old I was.
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 3: I guess at that age where I was like marketed
Speaker 3: towards SpongeBob, like what we were talking about. And there
Speaker 3: was this college and they were doing just studies on twins,
Speaker 3: and since I'm a twin, I think my mom got
Speaker 3: some money out of it, and she's like, oh, I'll
Speaker 3: just I'll just sign them up for it, like what
Speaker 3: what's the worst that could happen? And we go in
Speaker 3: there and they immediately like start asking us like the
Speaker 3: normal health questions like how old are you guys? Like
Speaker 3: who's older? All that other stuff. But there's two rooms
Speaker 3: behind these two people that are like that. I guess
Speaker 3: they're the ones that are doing the test on us.
Speaker 3: And they tell us that there's gonna be like a
Speaker 3: quiz test and there's gonna be a physical test. So
Speaker 3: my brother goes into like the quiz test, and I
Speaker 3: go into like the physical test, which is like in
Speaker 3: the room right over. And you go into this room
Speaker 3: and it's really tiny, and this lady has this l
Speaker 3: shaped desk and you know like those dentist chairs that
Speaker 3: are like like it looks like a dentist chair, but
Speaker 3: it's like propped all the way up, like it's not
Speaker 3: like fully laid back, and there's all these contraptions just
Speaker 3: strapped to it. And she's just asking me these very
Speaker 3: normal questions. And then we start doing the physical test
Speaker 3: and it's like normal like blood pressure whatever. But then
Speaker 3: she's like, we're gonna do something different, and she like
Speaker 3: straps me down and like puts like those like laughing
Speaker 3: gas masks on me, and I guess she starts just
Speaker 3: like giving me some like random ass gas that makes
Speaker 3: me start to panic, but she's like reading all these
Speaker 3: super scientific calculations on her computer, and it was just
Speaker 3: it was it was very interesting going through that as
Speaker 3: like a little child, like, I don't have any trauma
Speaker 3: related to it. I just think it's funny that.
Speaker 1: Well, so is this is the study still going on?
Speaker 3: I think? I don't know. I like, I think they're
Speaker 3: still doing a twin study. I don't know if they're
Speaker 3: still doing that specific study, hm hmm. But but with
Speaker 3: this lady, it's she was like she was just gonna
Speaker 3: be like, hey, just tell me when it gets too
Speaker 3: much to you. And I, like, I like to just
Speaker 3: started like panicking because you know, that's a really weird
Speaker 3: situation to be in. And so I tell her to
Speaker 3: take it off, and she says, no, we're getting good
Speaker 3: test results. All the while, my brother's hearing me like
Speaker 3: scream and cry in the room next over, probably like
Speaker 3: really nervous for what he has to do next.
Speaker 1: Right, what did did they? I mean, so did they
Speaker 1: did they get any conclusions?
Speaker 3: Well that's the next part of it. My brother since
Speaker 3: he didn't do the physical test because he like he
Speaker 3: went to go switch. My brother was like, absolutely not.
Speaker 3: They technically couldn't make a conclusion because they didn't get
Speaker 3: the other half.
Speaker 1: Oh so your brother heard you screaming and nope, doubt.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Basically they can't have a twin study with with just one.
Speaker 3: No, you can't. So I just I like just randomly
Speaker 3: remembered this thing too.
Speaker 1: Like your mom ago. But did your mom get any
Speaker 1: money for for your torture?
Speaker 3: I think so. I don't know if it was torture.
Speaker 3: I think it could have just been me genuinely panicking
Speaker 3: as a kid. But I just think the situation or
Speaker 3: funny than anything. M it's very peculiar.
Speaker 1: Uh did did your was your mom like mad at
Speaker 1: your brother for uh not participating in the study.
Speaker 3: She seemed a little disappointed more than anything, But they
Speaker 3: still gave her like the full amount of money, which
Speaker 3: I find interesting.
Speaker 1: M M.
Speaker 3: I guess that just comes with like working with children,
Speaker 3: you know, like sometimes they're just not going.
Speaker 1: To cooperate, right, Yeah, this sounds like how uh how
Speaker 1: people get humans centipeded? Is with like a studies like this.
Speaker 3: Oh don't don't compare to that.
Speaker 1: Well what's your name again? Abby?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Abby?
Speaker 1: Well thanks for letting me rant to you about Garfield
Speaker 1: for ten minutes. I really do appreciate you U let
Speaker 1: it being there while I did that. Oh yeah, of course,
Speaker 1: is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go, not really, just.
Speaker 3: Don't don't trust scientists.
Speaker 1: I guess don't. Yes, what that is a great message.
Speaker 1: Do not trust science.
Speaker 3: I didn't think about it.
Speaker 1: Do not trust no, no, no, Abby, you said it. You
Speaker 1: can't take it back. We do not trust scientists. We
Speaker 1: question everything. There was no such thing as verifiable evidence,
Speaker 1: and the uh, the solar system revolves around the Earth.
Speaker 1: Thank you very much for calling Abby. All right, see it? Hello, Hello, hey, hello, Hi.
Speaker 1: What is your name?
Speaker 4: Hey? My name is Stella.
Speaker 3: How are you doing?
Speaker 1: Wele? It's it's what.
Speaker 4: Stella?
Speaker 2: Stella sure or whatever.
Speaker 1: You'd like, Stella like like the beer stella arose h.
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: That's how stella because when the sun shines, will shine together.
Speaker 1: So all right, well, what's up, Stella? How you doing?
Speaker 1: How's how's life? Stella?
Speaker 4: Life is pretty uh up in the air, trying to
Speaker 4: stay afloat. But I mean, nonetheless, it's good to be alive.
Speaker 4: You know, how are you?
Speaker 1: How much I'm every single it's every single day I'm
Speaker 1: realizing that I I don't know anything about fucking anything,
Speaker 1: And there's like life can only be uh, there's a
Speaker 1: it's I don't know if it's a quote directly that
Speaker 1: somebody said, or if it's more of a just general adage,
Speaker 1: but the idea that life can only be lived forward
Speaker 1: and understood backwards makes so much goddamn sense to me.
Speaker 1: Every year that I get a little bit older and
Speaker 1: things start to make sense a little bit more, and
Speaker 1: it's weird for me. Yeah, I'm giving you the actual
Speaker 1: answers to the question of how I'm doing, So give
Speaker 1: me a second, and you know, I genuinely I really
Speaker 1: like doing this podcast when I am in the position
Speaker 1: of like like being I don't know. Sometimes sometimes I
Speaker 1: struggle with it. Sometimes I struggle with but sometimes like
Speaker 1: to like today, for some reason, I'm having a real
Speaker 1: good time with it. But sometimes I struggle with it
Speaker 1: because it's you know, people will be wanting I guess
Speaker 1: my perspective on things, and I'm just like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't I don't really know, but it's I don't know.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I like it, the other I like it the
Speaker 1: other way around. I like when I get people's perspective
Speaker 1: on stuff. It's fun, it's interesting, it's a real honor.
Speaker 1: It's an honor to get to and that's all. It's
Speaker 1: an honor to get to do something like this, but
Speaker 1: also it's it's way better when I'm uh caffeinated. I'm
Speaker 1: learning about that. I'm learning about how to be how
Speaker 1: to not be depressed. I think I figured it out.
Speaker 1: I actually genuinely think I figured out how to not
Speaker 1: be depressed.
Speaker 4: Okay, what's the equation?
Speaker 1: Okay, first you have to have five million dollars. We
Speaker 1: can't talk about any of the other steps unless you
Speaker 1: have five million dollars. First, you have to have five
Speaker 1: million dollars. And then you have to have a beautiful
Speaker 1: husband or wife that doesn't they can be they can
Speaker 1: be really nothing less than ten out of ten. This
Speaker 1: is the most gorgeous person that you've ever seen. And
Speaker 1: they have to love you unconditionally, you like you have
Speaker 1: to be you know, like like like they have to
Speaker 1: love all of your flaws. They have to love you unconditionally.
Speaker 1: So five million dollars, beautiful life partner who loves you unconditionally.
Speaker 1: What else? I know? It starts with those two things.
Speaker 4: Okay, Yeah, if you don't if you.
Speaker 1: Don't have those two things, you're probably fucked and miserable.
Speaker 1: But what's what's up? What's up with you? Stella? What's
Speaker 1: I what makes you? What made you call in today?
Speaker 4: Nothing in particular, I mean I just in general. I
Speaker 4: think you kind of opened it up perfectly with not
Speaker 4: knowing anything day by day as you get older, I
Speaker 4: kind of feel the same way, both like in a
Speaker 4: micro level and a macro level when it comes to
Speaker 4: just living life day by day. But let's get specific.
Speaker 4: Let me just give you a random micro level to
Speaker 4: I currently live with my sister and her boyfriend. It
Speaker 4: was just me and her when it first began, but
Speaker 4: now I'm really looking into getting out and just going
Speaker 4: on my own. But again, that goes back to your
Speaker 4: five million dollars and someone who loves your own conditionally.
Speaker 4: You know, I don't have five mil. I have someone
Speaker 4: do the other man conditionally? No? Probably not? I mean
Speaker 4: can anyone really?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: I don't think so.
Speaker 4: But I'm just stuck between, like, do I go on?
Speaker 4: I mean I can do it. I have money, not
Speaker 4: five mil, but I got I can go on my own.
Speaker 4: I mean, the economy is not the best right now,
Speaker 4: but I can probably be Okay.
Speaker 1: So what's going on? What's what's going on with Uh,
Speaker 1: your your current situation. Why are you trying to get
Speaker 1: out of it?
Speaker 4: Nothing's wrong with it? Actually it's perfect. Like me and
Speaker 4: my sister are great. We've been through a lot together
Speaker 4: and made our bomb stronger, you know, and I think
Speaker 4: living with her has been such a blessing. But I
Speaker 4: want something that's my own, you know, like my own space,
Speaker 4: my own universe within four walls, you know. And I
Speaker 4: think it's just time. I've been in the same place
Speaker 4: for five years now and have a good job, so
Speaker 4: it's given me affording me the ability to even think
Speaker 4: about this, you know, like be able to say, hey,
Speaker 4: I can and want to get my own place. But
Speaker 4: then I just think I overthink things, especially when it
Speaker 4: comes to just making decisions in general in life. It's
Speaker 4: not like my forte. I second guess things all the
Speaker 4: time and have to overanalyze and overthink. So I'm like
Speaker 4: constantly on the internet trying to financewers to things, use
Speaker 4: chat GBT to like to the finest detail, ask like
Speaker 4: how do I get from point A to point B?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I no, I have I have a similar a
Speaker 1: similar thing. I have a similar thing. Now, so you
Speaker 1: said this, you have a person in your life and
Speaker 1: they love you with you know a few conditions, which
Speaker 1: is I think the best that you can get? What
Speaker 1: and what's are they gonna move in with you? Is
Speaker 1: that the idea or are you like totally totally placed
Speaker 1: on your own That's the.
Speaker 4: Thing I don't know. I don't think financially and mentally
Speaker 4: there it's doable for them to come and be with
Speaker 4: me if we get like a police together, and that
Speaker 4: kind of like that hurts a little because I make
Speaker 4: it very aware what I expect and what I want,
Speaker 4: you know, from a partner or my boyfriend or whatever,
Speaker 4: and it just doesn't seem to click. But then I
Speaker 4: understand that there's a lot of mental boundaries that can
Speaker 4: stop somebody from seeing their own potential and then being
Speaker 4: that for somebody else who has vocally let them know, like, hey,
Speaker 4: this is what I want, So I.
Speaker 1: Can I ask what I mean, what's if if if
Speaker 1: this is you know something you want to talk about
Speaker 1: to go into like what is what does that look like?
Speaker 4: So I mean he's my boyfriend. He's the type to
Speaker 4: like go back to the past a lot and say
Speaker 4: I used to make so much money and I was
Speaker 4: able to afford an apartment for me and my partner
Speaker 4: that's like his ex at the time or whatever. And
Speaker 4: he's like, but shit's not like that anymore. You know.
Speaker 4: I'm not the same person physically, and I'm not capable
Speaker 4: of making so much money like you or whatever. And
Speaker 4: I don't make six figures or anything. But I'm I'm
Speaker 4: pretty okay where I'm at, you know. But he says
Speaker 4: that a lot, and I'm just like, where's like the
Speaker 4: motivation to be in this together, to want to make
Speaker 4: what I make or more possibly? You know, I know
Speaker 4: there's a lot of boundaries and obstacles that stop people
Speaker 4: from doing things like I'm here with you. I want
Speaker 4: to do this with you, like let's go, let's be
Speaker 4: fucking right or dies. You know, Like that's always what
Speaker 4: I thought having somebody would be and os But like
Speaker 4: I'm ready to go through the wringer with anybody, like
Speaker 4: the muck and the mire, just to come out like
Speaker 4: the shining phoenixes from the ashes of corny.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you are you are reaching your hand
Speaker 1: out to this man at begging him to begging, but
Speaker 1: you're you're reaching this. You're not begging, but you're you're
Speaker 1: reaching your hand out to this man and saying, what
Speaker 1: walk walk the walk with me, my friend, and he's
Speaker 1: walk the walk with you, my dear. And what's his?
Speaker 1: What's his he's saying?
Speaker 4: He says, yes, he says already gonna say when somebody
Speaker 4: is saying that. You know, he has a great heart,
Speaker 4: he's a good man. I'm not saying anything is wrong
Speaker 4: with him, but everybody has their flaws, and I want
Speaker 4: to work with him on them, you know. But I
Speaker 4: have also been And that's another thing too, is myself.
Speaker 4: I don't want my past to get in the way
Speaker 4: of going on this journey with this person because I
Speaker 4: have my flaws of like the minute a voice is
Speaker 4: raised in a conversation or like disrespect is there, I'm like, no,
Speaker 4: I gotta go, I gotta walk away. I need to
Speaker 4: like it's done, it's over. And he's like, whoa, you
Speaker 4: know it's I make.
Speaker 1: For me.
Speaker 4: Well, like I said, I think maybe because of my past,
Speaker 4: I see everything as a red not a reflect but
Speaker 4: you know, something to be weary of and scared of
Speaker 4: and anxious of. And then I take it to the
Speaker 4: next because of the overthinking, overanalyzing. If that makes.
Speaker 1: Sense, Yeah, sure, yeah, interesting Yeah, what's kind of what's
Speaker 1: so what's your job now?
Speaker 4: So I'm basically an executive administrator for a very big,
Speaker 4: powerful organization. And yeah, it's it's a very comfortable position.
Speaker 4: It's very cool position. I'm able to help a lot
Speaker 4: of people and that's what I love the most. But
Speaker 4: it's I want like the rural life and it's this
Speaker 4: kind of job is more like city political you know,
Speaker 4: smiley face when you want to burn everything down kind
Speaker 4: of position, you know, And I hate that, but you
Speaker 4: want it is now? Yeah, I do. Really I want
Speaker 4: something quaint, the traditional like second white picket fence or
Speaker 4: farm whatever, with the husband and the kids. That's what
Speaker 4: I want. I don't want this fucking business woman shit.
Speaker 4: That's so overrated for me.
Speaker 1: Anyway, It's in your life and you're like like when
Speaker 1: you say like the rural life, like do you want
Speaker 1: to be like uh, like do you want to just
Speaker 1: like like just take care of the kids or do
Speaker 1: you want to have like work on a farm or
Speaker 1: like what's what's what can I add? What's what's the dream?
Speaker 1: Give me? Give me the dream for you like the dreams?
Speaker 4: Yeah, dream scenario is, Yeah, I'm a work with my
Speaker 4: kids all day and me and my kids are doing
Speaker 4: farm work, helping with the goats and the rabbits and
Speaker 4: the you know, not the cows. That's a bit. That's
Speaker 4: a lot of work. And horses are too, but you know,
Speaker 4: at least like a homestead is kind of thing with
Speaker 4: the hobby that you know does his his gets his
Speaker 4: hands thirty two and is able to provide for us,
Speaker 4: and I provide for him, you know, in that way
Speaker 4: because of what he does for the family. You know,
Speaker 4: like that's that's what I want. And away from the city,
Speaker 4: away from too many people, I do want family around,
Speaker 4: but just you know, in general, it's good to be
Speaker 4: to create your own you know.
Speaker 1: M Now I'm curious and by the way I fall victim.
Speaker 1: People would not believe for a guy who runs a
Speaker 1: I really I hate calling this an advice podcast, but
Speaker 1: uh whatever, people I talk a bunch of shit on here,
Speaker 1: and people I don't I think, would be surprised at
Speaker 1: how often I google how to be happy, or overthink
Speaker 1: decisions or or you know, do I do all the
Speaker 1: things that you describe. I call a billion friends and
Speaker 1: talk to chat GPT about things and and and all
Speaker 1: this stuff. And I so I feel actually kind of
Speaker 1: interesting asking you this question. But as from talking to
Speaker 1: you for two seconds, you sound like actually a person
Speaker 1: who's pretty confident about what they want out of life
Speaker 1: and who they are and whatever. That's just a projection
Speaker 1: I'm getting upon you. And so what do you What
Speaker 1: are you overthinking?
Speaker 4: I think I overthink maybe that life that I just
Speaker 4: said to you right now in my head, I'm like, well,
Speaker 4: maybe that's not the way. Maybe I am supposed to
Speaker 4: be this cocktail hour business woman, maybe with a high
Speaker 4: rise and Florida sailing windows and fucking you know, girls'
Speaker 4: night and stuff like that, like the basic non traditional woman.
Speaker 4: I guess, yeah, I second guess that, and then I
Speaker 4: second guess, hey, maybe this person isn't.
Speaker 3: The ones for me.
Speaker 4: And but then I'm like, wait, aren't you supposed to
Speaker 4: stay and fight for things? You know? And this is
Speaker 4: the most healthiest relationship I've ever been, and like he is,
Speaker 4: I love him, Like he's great. But again, past stuff, right,
Speaker 4: and then you second guess and overanalyze, and yeah, like
Speaker 4: I could take it back all the way to childhood
Speaker 4: type of overanalyzing. Like that's how much I go into
Speaker 4: the thinking I was even like I even have to
Speaker 4: get off of breath control because it was making me
Speaker 4: so existential evil. Like I would smoke weed and I
Speaker 4: was on birth control and I literally thought I was
Speaker 4: in other planes of existence because I was overthinking myself.
Speaker 4: But like, now I can do it. I'm true. I'm like,
Speaker 4: no birth control anything, and I smoke and I'm like, okay,
Speaker 4: I can analyze and not be thrown into other or
Speaker 4: of it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, no, no, no, no, no, it's it's it's it's
Speaker 1: it's a it's a whole bar. It's one continuous bar,
Speaker 1: one complete bar. It's well, it's funny you say all
Speaker 1: this stuff because I I I was just saying that
Speaker 1: I don't know anything, and I've I've there are a
Speaker 1: couple of things I have come to fight that I
Speaker 1: can say that I believe with my whole heart that
Speaker 1: I I won't question. There's a couple of things. One
Speaker 1: is that I believe this in like I gutturally believe this,
Speaker 1: like when I am in a like because you know,
Speaker 1: there's there's sides of yourself, right, there's like you when
Speaker 1: your emotions are out of it and when you're like
Speaker 1: in tune with your higher being and then there's you
Speaker 1: when you're like whatever, hungry or horny or sad or
Speaker 1: angry or happier joy to related, and you're like letting
Speaker 1: those emotions run the fucking show. But me, when I'm
Speaker 1: in my like a connected to what I feel like
Speaker 1: is like, oh, this is like my this is this
Speaker 1: is my uh uh superego or the or the high
Speaker 1: in that state of mind. I genuinely believe that, like
Speaker 1: the ability to make the decisions that I overthink is
Speaker 1: like a deep privilege. It's like a deep honor to
Speaker 1: even get to fucking decide. And and like again, when
Speaker 1: I'm in, when I'm connected to my higher being, for
Speaker 1: you know, one fucking second out of the day, which
Speaker 1: I gain, I'm really typically not. I just want to
Speaker 1: make it clear, I'm really typically not. But when I am,
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's how I really feel. It's like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's just such a privilege to even be like, oh,
Speaker 1: which you know, you know, who will I fall in
Speaker 1: love with? And what cool career will I have? And
Speaker 1: like all these things are like they're privileges to even
Speaker 1: get to think about. Right, That's how I really feel.
Speaker 1: And so I know that to be true. When I've
Speaker 1: connected with my how you being normally I'm not thinking
Speaker 1: about that. No, no, but normally I'm overthinking and spiraling
Speaker 1: and whatnot. But the other thing I know to be true.
Speaker 1: I forgot while I was explaining the first thing, but oh, okay,
Speaker 1: I remember it now. I really feel like I'm coming
Speaker 1: to some conclude ninety I eighty. I'm not even sure
Speaker 1: how sure I am. That's how insane and I am.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure. I'm just gonna go with pretty sure.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna put a number on it. I'm pretty
Speaker 1: sure that people in general are happier when they're just
Speaker 1: in the moments of the thing, you know, when they're
Speaker 1: just like when they're not overthinking, when they're not talking
Speaker 1: about death and overthinking every single one of their fucking decisions,
Speaker 1: and we're just like, oh, today I have to, you know,
Speaker 1: milk the cows, and I don't have time to think
Speaker 1: about whether or not, Uh, this is what I should
Speaker 1: be doing with my life because I gotta go milk
Speaker 1: these fucking cows. You know, I don't have time to
Speaker 1: think about it. I'm just fucking doing it. And I
Speaker 1: don't know it's hard. I because some people they uh
Speaker 1: you know, some people are like, I don't have time
Speaker 1: to think about what are this shitty office job is
Speaker 1: making me miserable or not? Because I gotta do it,
Speaker 1: And that's not that's ultimately not good. There's a there's
Speaker 1: got there's some kind of like ideal optimal, you know,
Speaker 1: optimal balance between thinking about things and being in the
Speaker 1: moment to stuff. And I haven't found it, but I
Speaker 1: definitely know that like overthinking fucking everything is not the
Speaker 1: way to do it. And it's like this with I think,
Speaker 1: I guess I guess relationships too, because on one hand,
Speaker 1: you could you could sit and think, oh, is this
Speaker 1: the right thing for me, and then the other hand
Speaker 1: you could just be in the moment of whatever it is.
Speaker 1: And life is I guess like trips to the the
Speaker 1: the basement of I'm actually in my life versus the
Speaker 1: the attic of let me think about things for a second.
Speaker 1: And I guess you just I guess you balance that
Speaker 1: until you die. I don't know the proper thing. And
Speaker 1: also it's weird because some people, like we all have
Speaker 1: like friends who they just somehow they just are not
Speaker 1: over thinkers and they just do shit with their life
Speaker 1: and they don't think about it, and they just they're
Speaker 1: just innately fucking like born with it. Like I have
Speaker 1: friends like that, and I'm like, I don't know how
Speaker 1: they just I have friends who just do life perfectly
Speaker 1: without even thinking about it somehow, and then I have
Speaker 1: friends who cannot stop thinking. I leaned, I lean much
Speaker 1: closer to that part of the spectrum. And yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know how much of this is
Speaker 1: just you're just born with more neuroticism versus you just are.
Speaker 1: It's you a person who does shit. But yeah, I don't. Ultimately,
Speaker 1: I guess when I'm in my when I'm in touch
Speaker 1: with my higher being for the one second of day
Speaker 1: that I am lucky to be, That's how I feel.
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, it's it's a privilege most of the time, though,
Speaker 1: I like every other human, like like a lot of
Speaker 1: other human beings on the planet, am you know, controlled
Speaker 1: by uh, fear based decision making and emotion based overthinking
Speaker 1: and you know, all these fucking things. But yeah, that's
Speaker 1: my rant about anything.
Speaker 4: I loved it. That was great. It resonated for sure.
Speaker 1: Well, uh, what how old are you? By the way,
Speaker 1: because I'm gonna be honest. When you first picked up
Speaker 1: the phone, I thought you were like, uh, fifteen, but
Speaker 1: now I think you might be like twenty eight.
Speaker 4: Oh shit, good job, yeah twenty eight.
Speaker 1: You're twenty. Okay, you're older than me, all right, I am.
Speaker 4: Well sometimes I like that though, honestly, sometimes you make
Speaker 4: me feel like I'm twenty or something like.
Speaker 3: Wait, I appreciate that.
Speaker 1: Please take me, please take everything I just said to
Speaker 1: you at face value. Well it's funny though, because well,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you something real quick. I was at a
Speaker 1: I was at a bar, uh two nights ago, and
Speaker 1: I was talking to someone and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: how old are you? And they were like, I'm twenty
Speaker 1: two and they were like, ho old are you? And
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm twenty seven and they made that
Speaker 1: face and they went, oh, like that was old, and
Speaker 1: it's fun It was funny to me because I literally,
Speaker 1: I swear my just yesterday, I was twenty two and
Speaker 1: I literally had that exact same interaction fucking just yesterday
Speaker 1: where I was the twenty two year old and I
Speaker 1: met a guy who was twenty seven and I made
Speaker 1: that fucking face when he told me. And it's so
Speaker 1: weird that I'm on the other end of that. I
Speaker 1: feel like I just flashed forward into like five fucking
Speaker 1: years or something.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it just had like a mutual memory.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And now that i'm it's funny because I remember
Speaker 1: being like twenty two and I couldn't imagine what it
Speaker 1: would like to be like twenty seven. And now like
Speaker 1: I you know, I'm gonna Reddit and you read a
Speaker 1: Reddit post, like you read a Reddit comment or some
Speaker 1: guy's like, I'm forty six years old, and here's what's
Speaker 1: going on with me? And I'm like, you're telling me
Speaker 1: I'm going to be forty You're telling me that twenty
Speaker 1: fucking years later, I'm still going to like have problems
Speaker 1: and thoughts and feelings, and the streams keeps going. It's crazy.
Speaker 1: It's too much, so much to think about. It's insane.
Speaker 4: And that's why I have to stop myself because then
Speaker 4: everything else that's like literally in my face happening in
Speaker 4: my life is not going to get that way because
Speaker 4: I will go that far into my drinking. Yeah, back
Speaker 4: to what you said, just being present in the moment
Speaker 4: and having like that attitude of grace and gratitude that
Speaker 4: you get to have these fucking decisions be so in
Speaker 4: your life and not like, hey, what am I going
Speaker 4: to do the next day? Which money do have to
Speaker 4: think of? Like that? But I agree with you. And
Speaker 4: then also I do like I go to my faith
Speaker 4: a lot, and that does keep me grounded and stable
Speaker 4: half the time most of the time, actually five percent
Speaker 4: of the time.
Speaker 1: Are you religious?
Speaker 4: I'm yeah, sure, I guess, you know, I really it's
Speaker 4: the cliche thing where people say I have a relationship
Speaker 4: with with Christ. You know, that's like that's how I
Speaker 4: see it. Cool, But yeah, religious.
Speaker 1: Cool, cool. I think that's good. I think having a
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know. I've been thinking about, like
Speaker 1: it's funny because I think when you're like when you're
Speaker 1: like a young atheist or whatever, you're kind of like
Speaker 1: you're kind of like blow uh, I think, blow it off.
Speaker 1: But then you're like, oh, it's kind of nice to
Speaker 1: like believe in something, you know. M hmm.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's a peace and comfort that comes with it.
Speaker 4: It's like, you don't I kind of like the thought
Speaker 4: of not having to control everything in my life.
Speaker 3: Like literally, if.
Speaker 4: There was God could just take everything and do anything
Speaker 4: with my life, I wouldn't I wouldn't.
Speaker 1: Mind, right, right, I was thinking about I was actually
Speaker 1: gonna bring this up when I was on this rant
Speaker 1: is I'm if somebody has, if somebody had there's an
Speaker 1: experience with this, please call in. I would love to
Speaker 1: talk to you. But I was thinking about like arranged marriage,
Speaker 1: you know, and it's like, on one hand, it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: arranged marriage, it's like the ultimate like uh, you know,
Speaker 1: lack of freedom like your parents. It's a very like
Speaker 1: Unamerican idea like your parents, like pick who you're gonna
Speaker 1: like your life is like chosen. This huge thing is
Speaker 1: like chosen for you, you know, and it's like a
Speaker 1: very I don't know, Like I there there's a lot
Speaker 1: of course on paper wrong with that idea. But then
Speaker 1: in the back of my mind, I'm a little bit like, oh,
Speaker 1: there's something about like you're okay, this is what you
Speaker 1: got to deal with, and no, you don't get to
Speaker 1: decide whether or not it works for you. You just have
Speaker 1: to fucking deal with it. I'm like, oh, that has Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, that probably has like prose to it.
Speaker 1: If someone is listening to this and has experienced with it,
Speaker 1: please call it. I'm curious about it because they might
Speaker 1: call it and be like it sucked.
Speaker 4: But anyway, yeah, I can't even speak on that. I
Speaker 4: thought the same as you. I can't speak on it.
Speaker 4: No arrange my maverages over here, but just the thought
Speaker 4: of like if I had a healthy family dynamic and relationship,
Speaker 4: they would have my best interest in picking you know,
Speaker 4: this person who's going to be able to provide for
Speaker 4: me and for the family, right, because it's the whole endeavor,
Speaker 4: it's not just about me and this other person. It
Speaker 4: feels comforting in a way. But again I can't speak
Speaker 4: on it's not a part of my circle. But that's
Speaker 4: my thoughts anyway. But pros and cons are everything, and
Speaker 4: like you said, everything's a balanced.
Speaker 1: Well Stella, is there anything else that you wanted to
Speaker 1: talk about or say to the people of the computer
Speaker 1: before we go, Not at all.
Speaker 4: Also, your voice sounds completely normal. Doesn't sound any different
Speaker 4: than on the podcast.
Speaker 1: Well good, I'm very honored to have a normal voice.
Speaker 4: Yes, normal it can be.
Speaker 1: It was great talking to you, talking to you too, Stella.
Speaker 1: I hope you have a good rest of your entire life.
Speaker 1: And I will, I will, I will see you around
Speaker 1: the universe.
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker 4: I send to you.
Speaker 1: All right, take care? Stell all right? Is it stella arose? Stera? Stella?
Speaker 1: Hold on, I'm gonna figure out how you fucking pronounce
Speaker 1: this stella? Okay, well, everyone's everyone, Everyone shut up for
Speaker 1: a second. I'm trying to think everyone. Everyone's, everyone's I'm
Speaker 1: trying to think everyone stop. Okay, Stella erotis are totis?
Speaker 1: Why would you name your products something that people can't
Speaker 1: even say it? Stella are I'm gonna say it's stella artois.
Speaker 1: How do you pronounce it? Stella artois phonetic pronounce pronounce
Speaker 1: pronunciation are ta? What the fuck? Okay, it's stella artois.
Speaker 1: This looks if you read it literally, it's stella artois.
Speaker 1: I'm calling it artis. Why would you name your product
Speaker 1: something that people can't say what it is? Okay? Sorry,
Speaker 1: goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night.
Speaker 1: The pan goes to his side. He's teaching you cloud
Speaker 1: of your life, but he's not really an expert.