Speaker 1: Are dropping. It's this Friday, Well it's technically Thursday. I
Speaker 1: hate the midnight drops, but it's Thursday at midnight, but
Speaker 1: Friday midnight. Does that make sense? Anyways? Is this week Thanksgiving?
Speaker 1: After you don't funk your goddamn turkey Caloriesolf, get on
Speaker 1: the computer, go to hore hive dot com and get
Speaker 1: some motherfucker merch. We have a Monday's are my favorite
Speaker 1: for you pussy assholes who still got to go into work.
Speaker 1: We also have a segments T shirt that says kink
Speaker 1: of the Week, Vanilla Ship, hordor, Horrible Decisions and homemail.
Speaker 1: We didn't want to put horror on everything. Our mask
Speaker 1: says I like my man six ft. Oh wait, and
Speaker 1: then of course we got the boy shorts to put
Speaker 1: on your little Buddhist So guys, go to hor hive
Speaker 1: dot com and get your merch. Now, thank you guys
Speaker 1: for sporting. Now let's get on with the show. Guess
Speaker 1: what decision we're about to make? Horrible decisions? Hey, thanks
Speaker 1: for listening to horrible decisions this week. Mandy and I
Speaker 1: just wanted to present a trigger warning. This is a
Speaker 1: really fun episode. I think this girl is fucking disgusting
Speaker 1: and funny and sexy and it's great. However, there's conversation
Speaker 1: about rape, so we just wanted to make you aware
Speaker 1: of that sensitive material. Otherwise, listen up, Enjoy. Make sure
Speaker 1: to follow us on I G. Horrible Underscore Decisions, write
Speaker 1: us on Twitter, tell us how much you love this
Speaker 1: pod at Horrible Pod, and hey, leave us a review. Enjoy, Enjoy.
Speaker 1: Welcome guys to another episode of Horrible Decisions, More Horrible,
Speaker 1: Horly you right in review wherever you are listening to us.
Speaker 1: I'm your girl, Mandy v A K sign a k
Speaker 1: A tripod Mommy. Hi am wheezy. I'm not the biggest
Speaker 1: horn in the room. We have a guest. I'm just
Speaker 1: kidd might who might have definitely the biggest horn. I
Speaker 1: think these are real new. You got help homes. You
Speaker 1: said they're real new. They're real new, Like these are
Speaker 1: COVID tips. I was about to say, but you got
Speaker 1: him quarantine. I went to California in May and I
Speaker 1: got the tips stuff. But you got it in during
Speaker 1: the pandemic year the faith as well. So wait, is
Speaker 1: this cannot They're not sailing failing. No, there's still at COMBA.
Speaker 1: The high grade still a comb same. This is what
Speaker 1: I don't know if she should drop when you're a
Speaker 1: but my bids look just like that in the beginning.
Speaker 1: In the beginning, I remember it being right here and
Speaker 1: I had that porny look and then so I want
Speaker 1: to just briefly share that I got to see these
Speaker 1: tits in lace and I was just like, God, damn,
Speaker 1: her body's nice. But now that I'm like, the tips
Speaker 1: probably were you know. Yeah, I mean it's also like
Speaker 1: your tips are a function of like the way your
Speaker 1: tips were before. So I had like really high flat
Speaker 1: tities that's like the tear drop shape that I had.
Speaker 1: I kind of thought I would lose. I thought it
Speaker 1: would getting more around, but it's like you just get
Speaker 1: bigger to literally it's your boob when you get the
Speaker 1: silicone type right when you basically you get the implants
Speaker 1: and they match and form to the way your boob's
Speaker 1: already looked opposed to silicone where it's kind of like
Speaker 1: they just fill them up and turn into their own.
Speaker 1: But I mean, of course they're safer if they break,
Speaker 1: but I don't give a fun they break, I could die. Well,
Speaker 1: they say was about the same. So the people get
Speaker 1: sailine because you know it'll just dissolve into your body,
Speaker 1: opposed to silicone, which can harm you. That's why a
Speaker 1: lot of people don't like silicone. However, silicone feel and
Speaker 1: look better. Those are the ones that if you like,
Speaker 1: hit it too hard, it will pop you me. No,
Speaker 1: they don't pop. It's just like they could be more damaging.
Speaker 1: They're both just as good. It's the casing. But silicone
Speaker 1: is gonna feel like a gummy bear. It's gonna feel
Speaker 1: like real tips. Yeah, they look nice almost not. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna try to be respected. Get out. Oh yeah, we're
Speaker 1: gonna be all Ariola watch. I'll be doing it. I
Speaker 1: have to blur it out, Benson, Benson, Just what a
Speaker 1: great job you have. You know what? No, I go
Speaker 1: like like when I go out with my friends, depending
Speaker 1: on the outfit, I'd be like, all right, but you
Speaker 1: want Ariola watch? Because I feel like my friends forget
Speaker 1: I'm like, why didn't you say anything? They're like, I
Speaker 1: didn't even see it. People just tell me I thought
Speaker 1: you knew. I'm like, no, I did not. I can't
Speaker 1: feel So. Your name is Dianora. Tell us a little
Speaker 1: bit about you. What you do for work? While you're
Speaker 1: on our show. I mean you said you're a whole,
Speaker 1: but I mean you said she was before she could
Speaker 1: say it was. It was an educated guess. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess. Yeah, if you want to introduce yourself, and
Speaker 1: then I can also say where I met you. So
Speaker 1: I'm a fetish performer, educator. I was a stripper before
Speaker 1: the pandemic, which is why I decided to do the
Speaker 1: tips like during the pandemic, so I wouldn't have to
Speaker 1: worry about recovery. Um. But I perform, and I teach workshops,
Speaker 1: and I have my own private business in bottoming which
Speaker 1: crosses over both to anal bottoming and to beat a
Speaker 1: sum submission and kink. When you stripped where you when
Speaker 1: you when you were stripping, you said you're a fetish performer.
Speaker 1: Was were you different than the other strippers there because
Speaker 1: you did different type of stuff or you just branched
Speaker 1: into this well, I mean I started stripping like in
Speaker 1: the Fall. I mean I had some friends in it.
Speaker 1: They got me into the scene. But at the strip
Speaker 1: club I worked, which was Sapphires, like right here, they did.
Speaker 1: So there's a friend in our community who's the artistic
Speaker 1: director there Warren Archer and he has a kink room.
Speaker 1: So that was my specialty at the strip club. Like
Speaker 1: I would take couples in there or like what was it, like,
Speaker 1: what are you able to do at a strip club
Speaker 1: with in kink? Well, if there is a St. John's
Speaker 1: Cross and their whips and floggers, you can do a
Speaker 1: lot in a strip club. That's fine because people go
Speaker 1: to dungeons for that. But you would never think they
Speaker 1: go to a strip club. I wouldn't think that. Well,
Speaker 1: they don't really expect it. But once they're there and
Speaker 1: like it's a couple and they're like, oh, we want
Speaker 1: to play with you or we want to learn something. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And that's honestly more fun than stripping. Is like getting
Speaker 1: to have a real experience with a couple. And so
Speaker 1: when you're in, when you're stripping, I'm curious to know,
Speaker 1: like have you enjoyed yourself? We've only we had a
Speaker 1: stripper come on, Justel. She was very popular. She was
Speaker 1: involved with the Stripper Strike, but that was a while ago.
Speaker 1: When you're stripping, do you get turned on by it?
Speaker 1: Do you feel like it's just work? Like how does
Speaker 1: it feel for you? For me, it's my own fantasy.
Speaker 1: I get to embody a certain aspect of my personality,
Speaker 1: of my sexuality. So I identify as gender nonconforming, but
Speaker 1: when I'm a stripper, I'm totally female. That's a really
Speaker 1: fun place space. How do you identify the outside of
Speaker 1: the strip club? What do you mean you're gender your
Speaker 1: gender nonconforming, but as a stripper, you're a female. As
Speaker 1: a stripper, that's my full female persona. Okay, alright, so
Speaker 1: I would he just wants you to elaborate on gender nonconforming.
Speaker 1: Gender nonconforming means that inhabit both energies like male and
Speaker 1: female equally strong. But it's also connected to the fact
Speaker 1: that I do have a hormone condition, so I have
Speaker 1: naturally more male testastia than the average female less female.
Speaker 1: How would you find that out? I mean you just
Speaker 1: find out growing up not having a period. Wow, right,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh wow, I didn't know that I
Speaker 1: have been pregnant. That was a mistake. But I menstorate
Speaker 1: it like once twice a year. So for a while
Speaker 1: I was just like writing free, Like, so, how do
Speaker 1: you know when you're opulating? I mean, I still get
Speaker 1: the symptoms, Like, I'll still get superpressed, but like I
Speaker 1: don't know. Yeah, wow, now I feel like I don't know,
Speaker 1: overstep here. But it sounds like I'm buzzing in these guys.
Speaker 1: Is there? What? What? That's what I'm saying. I've been pregnancy,
Speaker 1: But what's the bad? What are they like? Yeah? What's
Speaker 1: because it sounds like I'm not gonna lie? I want
Speaker 1: to be more? Can I just need some more? I
Speaker 1: need the motucab to have a little bit. You want
Speaker 1: a little bit? You know, a little bit? But damn
Speaker 1: so two periods of year? Yes, that sounds like like
Speaker 1: I'm literally planning trips around my period. Are you ever
Speaker 1: scared that you're pregnant? Because you really have? Hear you? Honestly,
Speaker 1: I just keep a bunch of pregnancy test anxiety of
Speaker 1: like I hate them. I mean, don't get me wrong,
Speaker 1: It's better than hating it coming every month. But so,
Speaker 1: do you take a PREGNACYE test like monthly? Because you
Speaker 1: do have multiple partners? I do have multiple partners, so
Speaker 1: I do take tests pretty often, like oh shit, every
Speaker 1: five weeks. What I'm just saying you any day? Do
Speaker 1: you use condoms? I have like fluid bonded partners, so
Speaker 1: fluid bonding partners. They bonded with the FIDS. So bitch,
Speaker 1: she don't be wearing condoms every time, so every five weeks, right, Okay,
Speaker 1: I can rock with that. So, speaking of um before
Speaker 1: we get into this, because clearly we have a ton
Speaker 1: of questions about b d s M bottoming, because bottoming
Speaker 1: to me, of course, I've always used that term for
Speaker 1: men who bottom for other men. But before we get
Speaker 1: into it, I wanted you to kind of differentiate because
Speaker 1: you actually said you found kind of almost the safety
Speaker 1: insects through b DSM but also through different shading it
Speaker 1: between noticing that you had a previously abusive relationship. So
Speaker 1: can you kind of talk into how you differentiated between
Speaker 1: the two because there could be listeners right now. We've
Speaker 1: often talked about b d s M where they could
Speaker 1: really actually be in more of an abusive relationship than
Speaker 1: a b DSM one. So, like my story, and it's
Speaker 1: a bit of a controversial thing to say, so this
Speaker 1: is like a content warning to everyone. But I was
Speaker 1: like my first relationship, it went down a wrong path
Speaker 1: and then there was an incident of rape, and when
Speaker 1: I confronted that partner and said like, hey, what happened?
Speaker 1: Last night and it was a fight, but that was
Speaker 1: not okay. He's like, I don't know. We were just experimenting,
Speaker 1: And for me that was a big question mark because
Speaker 1: biologically I enjoyed what happened. I enjoyed me tied me up,
Speaker 1: I enjoyed the forcefulness. I enjoyed all of it, but
Speaker 1: I knew emotionally that it was not okay, and that's
Speaker 1: not how that fight should have ended. Okay. So the
Speaker 1: relationship when in the direction of a lot of experimenting
Speaker 1: with media SM So there are parts of it that
Speaker 1: I was excited about that I bought toys for scenes
Speaker 1: that I directed, but it became an excuse in the relationship.
Speaker 1: Every time we had a fight or every time I misbehaved,
Speaker 1: violence was introduced, so you weren't It wasn't consensual at all.
Speaker 1: It just happened, and you knew. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: They were scenes that we had built together, times we
Speaker 1: had sex, where we negotiated things the proper way to
Speaker 1: about over time it because I think people won't understand.
Speaker 1: So sometimes in the media SM community, I guess one
Speaker 1: of the vocabulary terms used is scenes, and it's basically
Speaker 1: where you're stepping outside of normal sex and or your
Speaker 1: vanilla ship or your regular life, and you jump into
Speaker 1: that world. That's where the term scene is reference. I
Speaker 1: don't know if people are thinking we'd either like, oh
Speaker 1: did you do poor scenes? A subscribe to my only fans,
Speaker 1: but not in this sense. You were just having different
Speaker 1: engagements with your partner. Yeah. Scenes means a structure your
Speaker 1: sexual experience, and wished consent is renegotiated your terms of
Speaker 1: exiting a scene or exiting the dynamic, or negotiated what
Speaker 1: you want to happen is kind of roadmap. And so
Speaker 1: during these scenes, essentially you're safe words and what did
Speaker 1: make you feel comfortable? Those boundaries were crossed a lot,
Speaker 1: you know. I mean what I'm saying is there were
Speaker 1: times where we intentionally experimented, but then there were times
Speaker 1: we were just fighting or having sex and he used,
Speaker 1: you know, choking, hitting, all these things. Have you had
Speaker 1: moments where you asked him to stop or you just
Speaker 1: felt like this was what was normal? I did. That's
Speaker 1: I'm saying. It's a controversial thing to say, like I
Speaker 1: was so blearned in this situation where biologically I didn't
Speaker 1: understand there were other people who liked pain and pleasure
Speaker 1: and there was a place for it. Ah, So you
Speaker 1: did you find so? And we've had him on the show.
Speaker 1: You actually told me that you did actually find your
Speaker 1: safe space and b D s M through NSFW. So
Speaker 1: did you leave your partner once you found that you
Speaker 1: could enjoy these things consensually? No? I mean I left
Speaker 1: my partner when he threatened to kill me. That was
Speaker 1: that's a whole another right. But then you know, as
Speaker 1: I continue to date people, these questions came up. I
Speaker 1: still wanted to play. I met people naturally who were
Speaker 1: like me and wanted to have rough playing experiment. So
Speaker 1: there's a you know, a plane man have had for
Speaker 1: a really long time to this day. And one day
Speaker 1: he asked me, can you taught me? I want you
Speaker 1: to hit me. I want to humiliate me, and I
Speaker 1: just went for it. It's not cute, was not what
Speaker 1: he was asking. So I just googled like workshops in
Speaker 1: filmdoms and dominatrixes, and that's why I found NSFW. So
Speaker 1: NSFW is a sex club. We talked about members only.
Speaker 1: We talked about Daniel saying often, um, if you guys
Speaker 1: want to look it up, you can. But there's so
Speaker 1: many articles on NSFW, Forbes, BuzzFeed, Humpington Post. I've seen
Speaker 1: a bunch, and I'm curious to know your experience with
Speaker 1: NSFW specifically, what's been different from there from other places
Speaker 1: that you think that they take heat do. It's become
Speaker 1: really clear to me, especially during the pandemic, and it's
Speaker 1: a space that did have it a lot. I'm very
Speaker 1: involved in event planning and teaching and performing now, but
Speaker 1: as a bottom so as someone who's submissive, as someone
Speaker 1: who has a female body, as someone who likes pain
Speaker 1: and you know, Dixon toys and things in my ass,
Speaker 1: I'm in a naturally vulnerable place. So as much as
Speaker 1: I can identify as a man and with male energy,
Speaker 1: I don't have the same freedom to go on grinder,
Speaker 1: to be tied up and have a guy just walk
Speaker 1: into my house right now. For sure. We talked about often,
Speaker 1: um how the gay community is just a lot more
Speaker 1: accessible with using grinder and just having multiple partners and
Speaker 1: they come, they play, they leave. But again, even with
Speaker 1: Tinder and other acts like that, for women, we don't
Speaker 1: have that luxury to just kind of safety. Just the
Speaker 1: future issue that women all across the board, I mean
Speaker 1: even in lesbian relationships to you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: like rough play, Like it's just there's a weird boundary
Speaker 1: that people don't know how to respect when it comes
Speaker 1: to women. I don't know where it comes from. I
Speaker 1: think it's something we've been taught for a long time.
Speaker 1: I mean a few weeks ago, we just did an
Speaker 1: episode about the Bible and it's like all of those
Speaker 1: things when it comes to women and the mistreatment, like
Speaker 1: it's just all back in our head and we have
Speaker 1: no idea where it comes from. But I want to
Speaker 1: know when it comes to NSFW, has there been a
Speaker 1: time like because I'm always curious when people are having
Speaker 1: what some would think of as violent sex, right, do
Speaker 1: have you had a conversation with the partners that you're
Speaker 1: about to play with at NSFW? Do people that work
Speaker 1: at NSFW set boundaries? How does that work? The boundary setting?
Speaker 1: Is it used at the club? Is that the person
Speaker 1: that you meet? How does it work out in that structure? Well,
Speaker 1: the club itself creates a safe space. It's a community. Um,
Speaker 1: so there's a certain level accountability just built in. There
Speaker 1: have been plenty of people people who I've played with
Speaker 1: and thinks have not gone well, who are no longer
Speaker 1: in the community. Interesting. There's also education aspect. So my
Speaker 1: first official role in the community was I was head
Speaker 1: what were they called nymph? So the nymphs are there
Speaker 1: to serve as the point of contact for content. I
Speaker 1: like that. That's so interesting. I did not know that
Speaker 1: at all. So how many nymphs are normally at a party,
Speaker 1: depending on the size of the party. There should be too.
Speaker 1: There should be one at the door who's giving me
Speaker 1: a little intro like say, hydrated, always asked for consent,
Speaker 1: don't be creeper, no photos. I've heard someone tell me
Speaker 1: that it was probably me. But there's and there should
Speaker 1: be a circuling nymph that is the more close point
Speaker 1: of contact for whatever people need. Got it? Okay? Nothing
Speaker 1: good thing that I would differentiate between as well in
Speaker 1: that space. Um, the first time that I went to
Speaker 1: an accept of you during covid um, it wasn't the
Speaker 1: last time when I saw you, but the first time
Speaker 1: I brought my boyfriend. And to me, comparing it to
Speaker 1: other sex clubs is it is very kink focus to
Speaker 1: me in the in the realm where we first walked in,
Speaker 1: and it was pretty early, it was at ten o'clock,
Speaker 1: maybe ten thirty, so before everyone else started really piling in,
Speaker 1: and they were still doing their virtual show. And so
Speaker 1: we go in and there is an Asian woman dressed
Speaker 1: as a complete dumb and she is pegging and whipping
Speaker 1: and spanking um across dresser and my boyfriend at that point,
Speaker 1: I don't think he had ever really seen that, and
Speaker 1: I was just like, I hope you're comfortable. If you're not, like,
Speaker 1: maybe we can, you know, because it's so large. But
Speaker 1: he was actually amused by it, like this was something
Speaker 1: that he had never witnessed in person at all. But
Speaker 1: also the fact that when they were done, I was like, girl,
Speaker 1: I love you outfit, and they were like thank you,
Speaker 1: and they walked around. And I do enjoy that it
Speaker 1: is a space where you may have bisexuality, gay men,
Speaker 1: um and of course straight couples all in one room,
Speaker 1: just enjoying each other. I really liked that Daniel being
Speaker 1: by himself. So one you have a sex club run
Speaker 1: by a man who's by and to me, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I guess we never. I don't know if I've ever
Speaker 1: been to a sex club where I the owner was
Speaker 1: front facing. I can't and I think when you feel
Speaker 1: that connection to someone, you respect their space more. It's
Speaker 1: like an Airbnb. If you stayed at someone's house, you're
Speaker 1: probably gonna be a little more tidy if you know them,
Speaker 1: and if you're in an airbb, you're gonna be like,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna And I think that the close connection
Speaker 1: in that is really what has helped him create such
Speaker 1: a community like that with people. Like my first time
Speaker 1: going into it in a party, I remember be like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, everybody knows each other. They were welcoming
Speaker 1: to me, but I was like each other, how they
Speaker 1: all fucked? Like? I was like, am I cute? But
Speaker 1: I was wondering like are they talking to me because
Speaker 1: I'm a newbie? Are they talking to me because I'm
Speaker 1: pretty honestly, we talked to you because we're generally curious,
Speaker 1: like why you're here, and we want to know your fantasies.
Speaker 1: Like right now we're building, like I'm helping lead a
Speaker 1: new party called Kink and it's sort of a fantasy space,
Speaker 1: so pretty basic. That's a very what's right, we're going
Speaker 1: to kid? What about it? I don't know how to explain, YEA,
Speaker 1: So it's kind of Barro from the model of lap
Speaker 1: dance parties, except like come and you can book lap
Speaker 1: dance party. That Yeah, what's the lap dance party. That's
Speaker 1: a whole underground thing in New York where it's like
Speaker 1: not strippers, but you go to Space and they're a
Speaker 1: bunch of like pretty girls and you can get a
Speaker 1: lap dance. You could talk to them. But that's the way. Wait,
Speaker 1: just Ship Club is more explicitly like this is a stage.
Speaker 1: Like stage makes it difference well on stage and like
Speaker 1: the floors really just like so it's like a party.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that was the thing. That's how the
Speaker 1: cost for that the common cost like entrance is usually
Speaker 1: around a hundred and then it's still like twenty dollars
Speaker 1: to lap down ship people like crack and coke. I feel,
Speaker 1: you know cokea rich people drive dance, but you pay
Speaker 1: expensive tool Sapphire. So how much is the entry ually?
Speaker 1: It depends because I've got my old sugar Daddy, the
Speaker 1: white dude, when he got me that apartment on fifty four,
Speaker 1: and we would always go to Sapphires and he was
Speaker 1: always every time, like seventy five. I mean, he looked
Speaker 1: rich whatever, And I was like they are talking now.
Speaker 1: I let people get their coins, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: And sometimes strippers would come up and they'd be able
Speaker 1: to give him this basic price. And I'm like and like,
Speaker 1: it's so funny because I think that I don't know
Speaker 1: if this has happened to you, but when women come
Speaker 1: in with sugar daddies or like you know, very like
Speaker 1: super old and her young girl, you like, because they're
Speaker 1: always do you understand right, We're like, I'm not to
Speaker 1: get money, right, there's a certain level of like him
Speaker 1: being a sugar daddy and like you kind of know
Speaker 1: if it's a stripper to like he gets it, he
Speaker 1: gets you know, he's going to respect the I don't
Speaker 1: think they thought it was a stripper. I would I
Speaker 1: might have got a better looking dude to the still live.
Speaker 1: But I remember like a few strippers would like kind
Speaker 1: of like give me a look, or we would talk,
Speaker 1: or like they'd whisper funny things to me. Um, I'm
Speaker 1: talking about girl. And one g eld said to me,
Speaker 1: were getting our cash tonight. I noticed, right, well, I'm
Speaker 1: excited to get more into the BDS some conversation with
Speaker 1: you for the horrible decision. But y'all know, bitch, what's
Speaker 1: the whole like outline? So we always do an outline, Mandy,
Speaker 1: I mean, but I'd really like an outline soe that
Speaker 1: I like it, and people know that we've joked about
Speaker 1: you not so much liking it. So I'm gonna make
Speaker 1: sure we seek to the one I made you like it,
Speaker 1: you know, because because I knew like that first topic
Speaker 1: was sensitive and I didn't want to make sure like
Speaker 1: you were comfortable. So the vanilla ship for this week,
Speaker 1: for those of you who may be watching or listening
Speaker 1: to us for the first time, is our sex in
Speaker 1: the news um topic. And this also somehow brings us
Speaker 1: back to our old kink of the week that we
Speaker 1: once had. We no longer have our kick of the week. Second,
Speaker 1: because we went which we went through them all which
Speaker 1: we we there's never too many kids. Well you know
Speaker 1: what it is. They just crossed over a lot. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we like with like we did the wild Ship, like
Speaker 1: the eyeball looking and things with trees, but then it
Speaker 1: just became redundant like we did, like we did, like
Speaker 1: yeah we did. We've done well over two d episodes
Speaker 1: now so and I think even the site with all
Speaker 1: the kink, says, there's only like to sixty. So if
Speaker 1: you know more, we'll have to talk. Clearly, I didn't
Speaker 1: know that. Started watching horn and then I would like,
Speaker 1: do my pull my own kink out of there? Like? Okay,
Speaker 1: what am I seeing in this? What's this? Call? Like that?
Speaker 1: That's what I did for this the vanillation I found out, Um,
Speaker 1: this actually comes. It happened in Ireland. Do you have
Speaker 1: Ireland accent? Uh? Let me get it going? Hold on?
Speaker 1: Was that kind of all right? No? It wasn't very
Speaker 1: Irish Monday. It wasn't very good Irish okay, and if
Speaker 1: by each other? I started the show. So basically, guys,
Speaker 1: A couple was caught having sex on a grave um
Speaker 1: and a woman decided to film it. However, to her surprise,
Speaker 1: the couple did not seem to mind at all. Um.
Speaker 1: The woman, who didn't want to be named, filmed the
Speaker 1: moment in the hope to embarrass the pair and condemned
Speaker 1: the behavior as a shameful carrier. But maybe they were
Speaker 1: sucking the person in their trouble and the way the
Speaker 1: person dad and you think they trying to That's the
Speaker 1: only way I could see it. Whoa because you wouldn't
Speaker 1: suck on your mom or dad. But like, what if
Speaker 1: you guys you think so you think they were working
Speaker 1: on somebody they knew grave to have sex with the ghost.
Speaker 1: How do you pick the grave? Then it could be
Speaker 1: anybody grave. It's just the great So you just start
Speaker 1: walking and you're like, you know, I like that birthday.
Speaker 1: So actually, when I was looking this up, I actually
Speaker 1: started looking up cemetery sex, and to my surprise, it
Speaker 1: is a very real thing. A lot of people get
Speaker 1: off on it, and it's there's actually a name for
Speaker 1: this kink, and I don't think we've ever done this kink.
Speaker 1: The kink is called ki metrophilia, and what it is
Speaker 1: is the arousal of having sex or being aroused from
Speaker 1: a grave site. Why are you looking like this? Don't
Speaker 1: kink shame, wheezy. I mean, honestly, it was not scandalized
Speaker 1: by at all. No, you aren't surprised, right, how come
Speaker 1: I king kink shame? If they're not consenting? Who's not consenting?
Speaker 1: The goat the dead people? The dead people can't consent, wheezy.
Speaker 1: My point is, you gotta be alive. I'm sorry. Necrophilia
Speaker 1: is nuts. Necrophia is nuts and you know necrophilias. You know, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's sucking nuts and so technically this is justice adjacent. No,
Speaker 1: technically it is the area. It is the like some
Speaker 1: HALLOWEENI ship, you know the say is HALLOWEENI ship, this
Speaker 1: is not HALLOWEENI sorry he didn't dress up with a
Speaker 1: screen mask. Now I'm not knowing it. I'm not. You're
Speaker 1: not feel it. Would you have sex on a grave in?
Speaker 1: That's okay? No, So how would you choose? Like would
Speaker 1: y'all choose a certain tunes? So like, wait, you done
Speaker 1: this before? I have not, but it's on my list.
Speaker 1: Waits on you on your list on the list. I
Speaker 1: thought you said you re Puerto Rican. This is a perry,
Speaker 1: this is white people ship. Nah, this is you. I
Speaker 1: do like the idea fucking the ghost like I didn't
Speaker 1: think about that. Wait, all right, but just give us
Speaker 1: incubus thing. I can understand. But it's also like feeling
Speaker 1: close to your own death, like I see that being
Speaker 1: part of the can. It's just gag a little bit.
Speaker 1: I feel like you lost your bro Let me think
Speaker 1: because I understand like goth culture and a lot of
Speaker 1: like that's what came up for this. I get it.
Speaker 1: I get it, But for me, I mean, I think
Speaker 1: it's more like on the grade, like yeah, if you
Speaker 1: did it, how would you pick the grave? I pick
Speaker 1: a based on the quote like not the wait do
Speaker 1: you like the like a bird? I'm here? We wait?
Speaker 1: Do you want him to whisper the quote yo ear
Speaker 1: or something like? Or do you both have to do?
Speaker 1: You know this is like a consent thing. Do you
Speaker 1: gotta vibe with the General's not vibe? She said, vibe
Speaker 1: with tombstone? But like, are you gonna do it like
Speaker 1: AUGI word type thing like that would make it hotter?
Speaker 1: You feeling? Oh, that would make it hotter? Bring the
Speaker 1: Uiji board to the state series want to be like
Speaker 1: does he love me? Why? Bitch? Why he all right?
Speaker 1: I know, I bitch, I knew you love me. You
Speaker 1: know what? You probably want to pick a black tombstone?
Speaker 1: Be like Darrell, we're working with Darius Dad he was
Speaker 1: born in one was toxic and wrong and problematic. It
Speaker 1: probably is. I'm not gonna lie. I feel like between
Speaker 1: this and the Bible episode, we're gonna have to put
Speaker 1: trigger warnings before I got damn episodes. Now why because
Speaker 1: we talked about dead people and dead people in the Bible.
Speaker 1: The Bible was worse. Somebody was sucking their own dad. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and there was Yeah, I feel like that. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you know about the Bible because I don't,
Speaker 1: but you do. Yesterday. That's Dan and I are best friends.
Speaker 1: We were both like Colts Cold Survivor. Alright, I have
Speaker 1: a whole episode. We got to have you on profast day. No.
Speaker 1: I went to lunch yesterday UM with a friend and
Speaker 1: I was telling him about how we just I was like, Yo,
Speaker 1: we just did this amazing episode about the Bible and
Speaker 1: it was so much I didn't know. And he was like,
Speaker 1: you talked about that story with a lot and the
Speaker 1: daughter's sucking their dad. And I was like, bro, you
Speaker 1: know what's crazy. I got in the car with my
Speaker 1: nigg because he picked me up and I started. He's
Speaker 1: like he always asked, so, what were your episodes about?
Speaker 1: Were they good? And I told him. He was like,
Speaker 1: was she Muslim? Because that just sounds like some ship
Speaker 1: that some people would tell her. And I was like, no,
Speaker 1: but actually she was an atheist activist at one time,
Speaker 1: so you know, she read the Bible to you know, defend,
Speaker 1: defend being atheists. And he was just like, you're probably
Speaker 1: gonna offend the lot of people with that episode. And
Speaker 1: I didn't think about it till I started. I was like, no,
Speaker 1: but she did it so good. He was like, you're
Speaker 1: probably gonna find a lot of people you say, look
Speaker 1: at yeah, look at our cameraman's reactions. But we had
Speaker 1: we had pastor coryon who was talking about just gaye ship.
Speaker 1: But that's cool. But let me tell you one thing
Speaker 1: that she didn't I feel like made it better. Okay,
Speaker 1: she talked about all these crazy as stories and then
Speaker 1: talked about like the lesson learned from a lot of them,
Speaker 1: or how cardinal things were, or how things weren't right.
Speaker 1: I don't feel like she used it to weaponize it,
Speaker 1: because she's like a total Even when I was having
Speaker 1: the conversation, he was just like, so the Bible is
Speaker 1: interpreted in so many ways that even the stories that
Speaker 1: she took verbatim, a lot of time those stories are used, um,
Speaker 1: what's the word, not hypothetically but to point out hypocrisy. No,
Speaker 1: they're the stories come they have, they're lying messages for them.
Speaker 1: So even though yeah, it said it was raping. There
Speaker 1: was other messages and I don't know, we don't have
Speaker 1: the seat. Well we'll know the response by now. See
Speaker 1: this is a very at that point, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, like the underlying messages, because people will make
Speaker 1: that point that is so like I have a black
Speaker 1: friend or what about this or that was a long
Speaker 1: time ago, Like no, they were raping. Just tell me
Speaker 1: when it talk for sure. That's what That's what was
Speaker 1: in the Bible. That's nuts, it is. That's fucking insane.
Speaker 1: The same with people have a lot of problems with
Speaker 1: a lot of ship. Well guess we come on here
Speaker 1: every week and we talk about some disgusting ship and
Speaker 1: you're telling me that we wrote a woman on who
Speaker 1: wants to funk on a grave site? That's none of that.
Speaker 1: I'm about to throw it. Like the first time my
Speaker 1: mom horsing me and I was like, oh, I'm got
Speaker 1: sucked in the asshole. Wait, okay, what you just brought
Speaker 1: up the bootlehou And that's what it is our hord
Speaker 1: Dirt today because you actually name yourself the anal sexpert.
Speaker 1: So for our hord derv which is our sex tips segment,
Speaker 1: we would like for you to give us an anal tip.
Speaker 1: I think the most broad and the most successful tip
Speaker 1: is that anals should be intentional. Okay, I like that,
Speaker 1: because Yeah, I've had it just go there by accident
Speaker 1: because it was slippery, excuse the side, but it was
Speaker 1: slippery and it just went into that hole instead of
Speaker 1: my puszal and it hurts so bad to where I
Speaker 1: was just like, oh my god. So and I actually
Speaker 1: think that that was one of my first experiences where
Speaker 1: I didn't, you know, want to ever have anal set. Okay,
Speaker 1: So you say that it should be intentional. It should
Speaker 1: be intentional because it should not just be about the
Speaker 1: person's givings pleasure and the order, like as a bottom
Speaker 1: get into. The thing that I try to promote is
Speaker 1: that the bottom is pleasure. The receiver's pleasure is also
Speaker 1: like important. So for me to experience pleasure in anal,
Speaker 1: I have to be emotionally there for it. I have
Speaker 1: to hygienic lee prep, I have to how I prep.
Speaker 1: I have to make sure I don't drink coffee that morning.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that. Well, I know how my gay
Speaker 1: male friends prep, but I don't really hear about way.
Speaker 1: Didn talk about prep too much rainal no man, I
Speaker 1: prefer in some in similar ways, like I do eat clean,
Speaker 1: I do avoid certain foods. What are the food avoid avoid?
Speaker 1: Like meats, I avoid cheeses, I avoid sauces, damn all light. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I do this a lot. So I live a
Speaker 1: very clean oh tiny but but there's a lot of
Speaker 1: fiber and things even in vegetables. So what does eating
Speaker 1: clean um in terms of antal sex me? Well, in
Speaker 1: terms like I know my own body and like what's
Speaker 1: gonna prease what? So for me, like I avoid cheese
Speaker 1: because that's the no no for me. Meat, like especially
Speaker 1: red meats are harder to process, so generally that's one
Speaker 1: to avoid. Or like again like heavy creams, those are
Speaker 1: pretty mesic. Avoid dairy, Okay, I mean you can eat light,
Speaker 1: you cannot eat light. Make sure you're hydrated. But cleaning
Speaker 1: so also like like an hour do you want to
Speaker 1: ship before or do you want to ship or you
Speaker 1: want to hold it? Like do you want to make
Speaker 1: sure you don't want to hold it at to say?
Speaker 1: But like okay, I think what I'm trying to say
Speaker 1: that's clean out you're like a little bit your colon.
Speaker 1: But like like I'm trying to figure out how I'm
Speaker 1: Do you want to like go directly before you have sex? Right?
Speaker 1: Or do you want to like fast that day? That's
Speaker 1: what I mean? Do you want to have Well? Look,
Speaker 1: I train so like I'm also like kind of like
Speaker 1: a circus act, Like I do something called anal gaping
Speaker 1: and acrobat You trying to road? Yeah? Wait, what is
Speaker 1: the biggest thing you fit in your head? Miss it?
Speaker 1: I can do two point five inches? Right now? What
Speaker 1: is that? Let's see? What is that? The iPhone? It's
Speaker 1: about three and a half. So it's like, right, wait,
Speaker 1: this is the wind? Yeah, so like this is about
Speaker 1: two and a half. Sorry, that is that what I happened?
Speaker 1: This is a big, big one, a little less than
Speaker 1: the big one. But I can do that a little
Speaker 1: less than this big one, yo, buddah yeah, oh b
Speaker 1: So what's the oddest thing you've ever fit in there?
Speaker 1: Because we actually talked about acrobats, what is the oddest? Yeah, Like,
Speaker 1: because there's a video within bottles put wine bottles and
Speaker 1: stuff in there? What have you put? What have you
Speaker 1: been able to fit into that? Buddhole? So I try
Speaker 1: to avoid things like that, just because like breaking I
Speaker 1: have requests for bats. I'm like, well, the wood can
Speaker 1: get in like things like that, like you requests, like
Speaker 1: so what's it? Like? I mean, also did the request
Speaker 1: coming like the form of an email when they're like
Speaker 1: booking their sessions? So yeah, like was it like email submission?
Speaker 1: Like do people like ask for options? Like yeah, I
Speaker 1: need to know. I mean when it comes to like
Speaker 1: only fans are camming, like I will get requests and
Speaker 1: like part of the empowerment of like only fans is
Speaker 1: like there's a level of consent, like you don't have
Speaker 1: to make it. There's no studio director agent um. But
Speaker 1: I have like toys that are pretty crazy. So I
Speaker 1: have a speculum like when you go to the doctor
Speaker 1: writing the people love that, and then you can like
Speaker 1: put stuff in it like I put a dildo. You
Speaker 1: can like pour liquids, like what liquids have you poured
Speaker 1: in your bootole? I did a scene once where we
Speaker 1: poured like different houses like from different countries. So you
Speaker 1: didn't you did it burn? This is not the Puerto
Speaker 1: Rican that I thought we were Rican. She was like,
Speaker 1: eat my assiga because guess why, Holy sh it, Okay,
Speaker 1: so I'm not gonna bro, how have we not heard
Speaker 1: it all, yet I have never heard of someone when
Speaker 1: you fart once it feel like does it hurt? Burns little?
Speaker 1: I mean I could tell stories about how like the
Speaker 1: story trip you Drip. Okay, So one of my booze,
Speaker 1: one of my bibos was at my house and he
Speaker 1: came alot in my asshole. And then the next morning,
Speaker 1: like I was just to be in Brooklyn and being
Speaker 1: in Latino neighborhood. So I was just like working in
Speaker 1: the park, but I lost antern on my phone. So
Speaker 1: I went outside of his house to like describe WiFi
Speaker 1: for a second, and like all the calm just came
Speaker 1: out out of your where did it go on? Daniel,
Speaker 1: like on the wadding outside of his house, just trying
Speaker 1: to send an email, and I wasna, yeah, I'm squatting,
Speaker 1: just came out. Were you wearing a skirt? It was
Speaker 1: just yeah, I was very addressed. It was what color
Speaker 1: did it come out? What color was it? Yeah? Like
Speaker 1: was it tan bage? Brown? I was clean? So was
Speaker 1: it a color? Was it a human brown? Like a
Speaker 1: little bit but not really Like I was pretty clean
Speaker 1: that day. I hadn't really eaten bro but like I
Speaker 1: hadly had like coming here and like does it feel
Speaker 1: like a release, Like you felt better? Did you feel
Speaker 1: like you were stopped somewhere? Like gaping. There's something about
Speaker 1: gaping that similar to B DSM, where you do like
Speaker 1: your head feels clear in the next day after like
Speaker 1: intense anal. Like really, man, are gonna fucking take this
Speaker 1: clip and show it to the girl and be like, Yo,
Speaker 1: you've been trying to meditate and I've been trying to
Speaker 1: tell you let me holy ship, I mean stuffs talk
Speaker 1: about that all the time, Like you have to get
Speaker 1: into mental state when it's like if it's just like
Speaker 1: an average guy or just if you're used to having anal,
Speaker 1: it's not that experience. But when you're really like I
Speaker 1: do anal fistening too, So that is a whole process.
Speaker 1: I have to get into headspace. I do have to meditate.
Speaker 1: I do have to borrow my breeding to get like
Speaker 1: a male's fists in there, which probably the biggest thing
Speaker 1: I've had in there. Do you think, I mean, how
Speaker 1: big is it? Na Ill work up to that? Okay,
Speaker 1: you train your butt, like do you use dilators or
Speaker 1: you pass that point? Because I feel like we talk
Speaker 1: about me but pus and stuff oh, I like, I'm
Speaker 1: past but plugs. Honestly, if I wear a butt plug,
Speaker 1: I just use it like because to turn someone on,
Speaker 1: like because they like seeing it in there. Okay, the
Speaker 1: way I prep for anything, you know, like if I'm
Speaker 1: doing my own training session or at this point, like
Speaker 1: I just take digging my ass like as long as
Speaker 1: there's some lube and have done well. Actually, we're not
Speaker 1: gonna get into decision. We're gonna get in because it's
Speaker 1: more of it. That was just a horrible decisions squatting
Speaker 1: outside his house with it. That was a horrible decisions salsa.
Speaker 1: But I pread for an I prep with my own fist.
Speaker 1: That's how I think, Like I can't get risk deep
Speaker 1: just because of logistics of it. But it's an easy
Speaker 1: It's like one finger and I do this when I
Speaker 1: do my performances like one, two, three, Sesame Street. You
Speaker 1: gotta cute this is we gotta make it cute because
Speaker 1: we gotta keep looking to be like, I could not
Speaker 1: get through this episode. We literally talked about Odell always
Speaker 1: Cat and they were just like I just couldn't get
Speaker 1: past this reservation in at Dos Caminos tonight. And if
Speaker 1: you guys don't know what that is. It's a Mexican
Speaker 1: restaurant in New York City, and I'm going to think
Speaker 1: of you the entire time. That's actually compliment. Let's get
Speaker 1: into the horrible decision. The horrible decision is a b
Speaker 1: DSM bottom betch. Yes, so you have coined the bottom
Speaker 1: betch phrase that because it's spelled the Girls episode. You
Speaker 1: know what I mean? All right? I mean, I'm not
Speaker 1: trying to make fetch cool, but we're gonna make vetch cool. Um,
Speaker 1: So can you explain to us now? Then? What is
Speaker 1: a bottom in B d S TM specifically for a woman?
Speaker 1: So bottoming, Like I was looking up some of this
Speaker 1: just to make sure I was correct on my way here.
Speaker 1: Bottoming comes from the gay community, and it's this. It
Speaker 1: started off just to differentiate like the person who's giving
Speaker 1: and the person's receiving. Right. More recently there's been crossover
Speaker 1: to bottoming is more related to being submissive, so I
Speaker 1: could pick a guy, or a guy could technically top
Speaker 1: another guy and still be considered a bottom. Bottoming now
Speaker 1: is like a new age term for everybody. Basically, I
Speaker 1: mean the term is changing the reason why I claim
Speaker 1: bottom and most I guess girls have taken the ass
Speaker 1: or subs don't. Is has to do with my dentri identity.
Speaker 1: So because I do inhabit male and female bottoming access
Speaker 1: is my male Okay, that does make sense to me.
Speaker 1: All Right, I have UM and is there And I
Speaker 1: guess you just answered too. So there's not really a
Speaker 1: difference between bottoming and subbing. But because you do take
Speaker 1: forms of both, you just can identify as a bottom
Speaker 1: instead of using the word. I'm saying they're not synonymous.
Speaker 1: But there's more flexibility within the gay community too for
Speaker 1: bottoming not to just be the receiver and they're like
Speaker 1: certain people align it with submission and your role as
Speaker 1: being sort of the co conspirator in a fantasy then
Speaker 1: necessarily the person who takes in the ass. So let
Speaker 1: me ask you this too, because we've talked about UM
Speaker 1: and I guess it was my difficulty in wanting to
Speaker 1: even refer to myself as sub because even my partner
Speaker 1: now thinks that I'm a great sub and it's I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, no, I'm a domb. So when it
Speaker 1: comes to subbing, how much control do you feel like
Speaker 1: you do have outside of consent when you're receiving, you know,
Speaker 1: when you're playing with the toys. How much control do
Speaker 1: you feel like you have being a bottom and being
Speaker 1: a sub. I feel like I have more control, which
Speaker 1: is what we said that as well too, because she
Speaker 1: identifies as a sub and oftentimes feels more control. And
Speaker 1: I don't know for me, I guess listening to the
Speaker 1: word sub I have not been able to. I mean
Speaker 1: word association like submissive is definitely something that makes you
Speaker 1: feel powerless when you hear that word. Um, But I
Speaker 1: think the main thing about it is if I'm domming
Speaker 1: some one, which only really had been girls that I've
Speaker 1: dated m I still felt like I was at their
Speaker 1: will and not as in control because I was never
Speaker 1: going to do something they didn't want. But it never
Speaker 1: made me feel as in control. I can't even explain it, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's maybe it's a personality thing, but
Speaker 1: like sometimes like I don't necessarily feel very powerful and
Speaker 1: my voice is loud, or I don't feel very powerful
Speaker 1: if I'm on stage, like I don't feel like that.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I feel like I mean, and I've learned that
Speaker 1: a lot through doing horrible decisions, Like I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm serving people, you know what I mean, Like my
Speaker 1: job is to like make you happy because you're here.
Speaker 1: And so with subbing, it doesn't make me feel I
Speaker 1: don't know, I mean with dommy, it doesn't make me
Speaker 1: feel very like in control and on top. I can't explain.
Speaker 1: I've never gotten that from doomming. Maybe a few times
Speaker 1: with like smacking, for i'd say, like a man particularly,
Speaker 1: maybe I've felt that, but never have I truly felt
Speaker 1: like I was more controlled than subbing. And I think
Speaker 1: that a lot of people need to experience it, especially
Speaker 1: subbing on your own accord. Right, So, like you've talked
Speaker 1: about how like you didn't know what was gonna happen,
Speaker 1: but if there was maybe a night where you picked
Speaker 1: everything you wanted him to do by your rules, I
Speaker 1: think then you would more so feel like you took
Speaker 1: the power back. Well, that's well, and that's what he's
Speaker 1: told me. He's like, there's been so many times that
Speaker 1: you actually have been in control and I've been sub
Speaker 1: to you and you don't see it as that. But
Speaker 1: even with me bringing him to the sex club, going
Speaker 1: to the nude beach, things in which I've introduced him
Speaker 1: to new things, he's like, you don't even realize it,
Speaker 1: but but I'm completely submissive to you in those times
Speaker 1: because You're showing me things that I I don't know.
Speaker 1: And so it's been those conversations where I'm like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: because I have felt completely submissive. I remember, like maybe
Speaker 1: early on maybe the third or fourth time we had sex,
Speaker 1: I felt like I had never been dominated like that
Speaker 1: ever in sex, and I like just slap the funk
Speaker 1: out of him just so that I could feel like, shit,
Speaker 1: I've run something here, and so like we have had
Speaker 1: that conversation. But yeah, I guess you're right. I guess
Speaker 1: you're at like, I don't know. I think I am
Speaker 1: hung up on the words, which is crazy because specifically
Speaker 1: in this space, a lot of guests that we have,
Speaker 1: we've had on don't want to be hung up on titles,
Speaker 1: and so we do actually like, like you said, even
Speaker 1: the fluidity of going between sub and bottoming and it
Speaker 1: being synonymous but not really using those words to mean
Speaker 1: what we think for them to meet? What are some
Speaker 1: other terms that we don't know? Do you do you
Speaker 1: know any or if any if besides sabbing or bottoming,
Speaker 1: I mean we could also get into the language of
Speaker 1: like sadism and massaculine. So like I was in seven
Speaker 1: master slave dynamic recently, so that meant like we did
Speaker 1: have check ins regularly, and but there was this general
Speaker 1: sense of these are the things you do and then
Speaker 1: I walk into the room or even when we're texting,
Speaker 1: like you control. So when you were in that seven relationship.
Speaker 1: The last time we talked about it was King Sukiki
Speaker 1: and I referenced the movie The Secretary. Do you were
Speaker 1: you living together? What was your dynamic? Like how long
Speaker 1: did you each I mean, or how often did you
Speaker 1: see each other? So it was Polly, we weren't living together.
Speaker 1: I saw him once a week and that would be
Speaker 1: like our date night, but also or like punishment night.
Speaker 1: Got it, and it took different forms depending on what
Speaker 1: was happening in the world, So like while it was stripping,
Speaker 1: it was based on my outcome stripping and generally how
Speaker 1: I respected him as elaborate. What is that right? I
Speaker 1: don't know, use the words what does what does outcome us?
Speaker 1: Their words the words that I'm just like, wait, wait,
Speaker 1: the outcome of your stripping? I mean, like how productive
Speaker 1: was I that week? Okay? Yeah? And he would punish
Speaker 1: you if you ain't make enough. Yeah, I mean you'll punished.
Speaker 1: Maybe felt like it like that was built into it,
Speaker 1: but there was a sense of like the whole point
Speaker 1: of the dynamic was to improve me as a person.
Speaker 1: So anything that was tied to punishment, I love that
Speaker 1: was tied to self improvement. Okay, yeah, I think too
Speaker 1: bad to suck them dicks tonight. It's crazy because I'm
Speaker 1: like having that conversation, like, you know, going to Mexico.
Speaker 1: We would have already have been to Mexico, but um,
Speaker 1: the idea of me if I do decide to do something,
Speaker 1: making sure I FaceTime him to watch or ask him first,
Speaker 1: Like he's like, I know, you go mis behave in
Speaker 1: Mexico And I'm like, no, but I want your dick.
Speaker 1: You want to do the FaceTime to watch. Yeah, I've
Speaker 1: actually I've actually shared that with him. I said, listen,
Speaker 1: if I do anything or I think I'm gonna do anything,
Speaker 1: I'll be sure to FaceTime you and I really do
Speaker 1: it first. This is why FaceTime during her I kind
Speaker 1: of want to let him know, but then he has
Speaker 1: to watch. Like that's when the thing if I do something,
Speaker 1: you have to watch, wait you want that. Yes, I
Speaker 1: told him, did he want to watch? He got a choice,
Speaker 1: is what I said, We're gonna do, but not really
Speaker 1: like this is because I'm only saying that because the watching.
Speaker 1: I think it's a lot deeper than you think. And
Speaker 1: that took me a long time. Think it's the conversation
Speaker 1: we've been having because even in um at the sex club,
Speaker 1: the first time we went, he played with two other women,
Speaker 1: and the last time we went it was just me
Speaker 1: and him. We were checking with each other, we talked
Speaker 1: to other people. Yeah, but he's been like, so you
Speaker 1: don't wanna like he tried to give me the blame too,
Speaker 1: and he was just here like I know, I know
Speaker 1: you're away, and someone knows that someone else is there.
Speaker 1: Multiple time who were there both of them were later
Speaker 1: and now that I remember that night, you were definitely
Speaker 1: getting it in on the other side of the room.
Speaker 1: But no, but he's been just be careful of vacations.
Speaker 1: I'm really like, I'm watching. I mean, well, I'm also
Speaker 1: just because he feels like I'm just so open, like
Speaker 1: we've talked about three simes. But I do feel like
Speaker 1: he feels like my guard is up with him because
Speaker 1: of course, when we first met, I went on some
Speaker 1: just so you know, I ain't cutting off on my hose,
Speaker 1: but I'm just looking for somebody. I was looking for
Speaker 1: seven replacement when we when we met, and he has
Speaker 1: become way more than that. And so the things that
Speaker 1: I said early on and applying right now because I
Speaker 1: don't want no other dicks, but he wants me to
Speaker 1: get me dick like only me speaking from experience with watching,
Speaker 1: and I can tell you how it went, like now
Speaker 1: it's a little different. Right, So the beginning, watching was
Speaker 1: the first thing we did, like a FaceTime thing, right,
Speaker 1: And I remember the immediate feeling I had, which was
Speaker 1: like when it was over, I'm like, well now what
Speaker 1: like I'm going to bed in their chilling or like
Speaker 1: that person before. Also then I started thinking more like okay, well,
Speaker 1: like maybe they just wanted to get over that because
Speaker 1: it's it's it's awkward for a little bit, like do
Speaker 1: I sit there the whole time like what's happening? And
Speaker 1: then do they want to work without me watching? Like
Speaker 1: a lot of that was going through my mind and
Speaker 1: it almost made it uncomfortable because it was like, damn, bitch,
Speaker 1: I don't want to do what you wanted me to do, right,
Speaker 1: So now it's a way better dynamic. It's like consent
Speaker 1: before it happens, and kind of like the aftercall, which
Speaker 1: I love doing. I've done it and he's done it,
Speaker 1: and like I've been in the bed and he's like,
Speaker 1: I use a little hole bit and I was like
Speaker 1: I and we'll talk about it and it's fun and
Speaker 1: like or the next day we'll even do it maybe
Speaker 1: if it's like super late at night. But the watching
Speaker 1: is different. It's way more different than you think. And
Speaker 1: you've had you have multiple when it comes to face
Speaker 1: I want to know what you're like, what your experience
Speaker 1: has been with this. Have you ever like had sex
Speaker 1: with one of your partners and made another watch either
Speaker 1: during via FaceTime outside of the sex club we know, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're like a bitch there for the sex club when
Speaker 1: I was still in a poly kind of suation, or
Speaker 1: just like an open relationship that we would do snapchaty
Speaker 1: and you liked, you would send videos, you would send
Speaker 1: snapchats while it was happening. I think that's better that
Speaker 1: not the face time. But I do like the after
Speaker 1: call because there's this sense of like naturally, I think
Speaker 1: the cu cold fantasy on the giving or the receiving end,
Speaker 1: there's something that's a little bit tied to fear, I definitely,
Speaker 1: or transforming fear into something erotic. Whether it's naturally you
Speaker 1: or not, it's still tied to fear. So to have
Speaker 1: that aftercare, I like that. Yeah. I mean I think
Speaker 1: the other nice part about it too, Like one of
Speaker 1: the things that I've asked for, I was like, no sleepovers.
Speaker 1: And it's so juvenile now that I think about it,
Speaker 1: because like there's so many late nights in Miami or wherever,
Speaker 1: likely a lot of vacation ship and you know, he
Speaker 1: asked me when it's like, what's the sleepover thing to you?
Speaker 1: I was like, that's like the most vulnerable and sacred
Speaker 1: thing that I think we do. And that's really why
Speaker 1: to me, the sleepover was a big deal. So this
Speaker 1: thing has called me like eight thirty in the morning
Speaker 1: and like exhausted, like okay, she left, and I was
Speaker 1: like okay, now, you know, I mean, it's a weird thing.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but there's something about being able to
Speaker 1: go to bed together and talk about it. I have
Speaker 1: that moment's fun, like whereas before maybe I would call
Speaker 1: my homegirls and talk about what happened. But now I
Speaker 1: can call you, so I like that, Yeah, that's it's fun.
Speaker 1: It's fun. But I only even bring up the face
Speaker 1: timing thing because I think, yeah, it is cut holding
Speaker 1: in a way, it's virtual cut holding, but I think
Speaker 1: that it's really high end when you're away from each other,
Speaker 1: and I feel like that would be hard for me
Speaker 1: to manage, you know, so I think for a first time,
Speaker 1: I just can't. Yeah, I'm trying to. I'm trying to
Speaker 1: see what we want because he's definitely like been just
Speaker 1: saying I know you're going fun out there, and I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: maybe i'm not. And then it recently got brought up.
Speaker 1: I was like, well, if I do, you're gonna watch
Speaker 1: and he was like and kind of looked like it
Speaker 1: was exciting that I offered that. So now, like, I
Speaker 1: guess we have to talk through it. I don't know,
Speaker 1: I've never done this ship before, not what a nigga
Speaker 1: like that I've been with. I mean, this is also
Speaker 1: I faced timed once while someone I was dating was
Speaker 1: this girl, and I remember, oh no no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no. It was Old Bay New Year's I was away,
Speaker 1: he was in another country. We're both in two different countries,
Speaker 1: and I remember specifically he was like saying love you
Speaker 1: and all this stuff and the girls right there in
Speaker 1: the cabin. She was feeling weird, and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, like the other person too. I didn't
Speaker 1: really think of like maybe now she doesn't want to
Speaker 1: him anymore, like would you feel weird? Well, So on
Speaker 1: that point, I just like went away with like someone
Speaker 1: that I'm seeing and his boyfriend. Oh and there were
Speaker 1: times that we played together, but there are a lot
Speaker 1: of times they were like just on the couch, like
Speaker 1: having their moment and I was there. And so you
Speaker 1: you've you've mentioned a few times, and I want to
Speaker 1: ask this because we had I've had recently two bisexual
Speaker 1: men on the show. Um, can you explain to maybe
Speaker 1: our listeners your experience with dating bisexual men. I think
Speaker 1: I've always been attracted to people both men and women,
Speaker 1: since I also identify as bisexual, who again have very
Speaker 1: strong male and female energies. But I've not been comfortable
Speaker 1: with that and what I've found through an SFW because
Speaker 1: it's a very there's a very large bisexual subcommunity. Are
Speaker 1: bisexual men that I really connect with. And of the
Speaker 1: two people that I'm seeing, one I inhabit a more
Speaker 1: male dominant role. In the other one I inhabit a
Speaker 1: more female submissive role. But I find such a comfort
Speaker 1: with their sexuality, such a flexibility and shifting in those energies,
Speaker 1: and just an acceptance of me in the in the
Speaker 1: time of the way that you said you went somewhere
Speaker 1: with one of your booze and their boyfriend. Hm, what
Speaker 1: was the have you had experienced is with male male
Speaker 1: female threesomes outside of by threesomes and what was the
Speaker 1: main difference for you? So, like having sex with two
Speaker 1: men that don't touch and then you know ones that
Speaker 1: are intimate as they are. Oh, I've had both. Actually
Speaker 1: happens a lot of times, Nsfure Like one of my
Speaker 1: dynamics is like when we're at a party, he like
Speaker 1: if a guy comes up to me and starts fliring
Speaker 1: with me, like I can have sex with that guy,
Speaker 1: like if he's also fucking or like if I'm also
Speaker 1: sucking his dick. So it's a lot of straight men
Speaker 1: we have sex with, but like he's part of the chain, okay,
Speaker 1: which a lot of men feel okay. With that, do
Speaker 1: you which do you enjoy more? Do you enjoy where
Speaker 1: they play with each other or where there's a chain
Speaker 1: and they are kind of separated by you. I mean
Speaker 1: I enjoyed double double penetration. You've done double anal? Yeah?
Speaker 1: How does that work? So we actually had a question
Speaker 1: in our Atlanta so where a guy said the dicks
Speaker 1: kept slipping out? How do you keep both dicks in
Speaker 1: your ass or it's like they will slip out? But
Speaker 1: about positioning and you have to be comfortable to readjusting
Speaker 1: what's the best for you? Do you have to sit
Speaker 1: on it? Like like how do you do? Yeah? You're
Speaker 1: like I was, honest to God thinking of it. That's
Speaker 1: why I was like, uh because for me, what I
Speaker 1: would think is like, um, I'd be sitting facing forward
Speaker 1: someone like almost like a girl on top, and then
Speaker 1: the other one comes behind me. That's right. It's like
Speaker 1: you're bent over but you're almost sitting. Well, there's like
Speaker 1: a guy underneath you who's like in the pussy and
Speaker 1: then the guy comes in from behind in the assid
Speaker 1: or like double in either so it's kind of like
Speaker 1: almost sitting and you like do you come have you
Speaker 1: had an anal orgasm that way. Oh yeah, well, let
Speaker 1: me just put out there I come more from anal
Speaker 1: than I do from anything else, which is part of
Speaker 1: the anal sexpertise sense. But I love it, especially when
Speaker 1: it's in a context of two bisexual men or a
Speaker 1: man or a male male couple, because I think there's
Speaker 1: something like I'm really enjoying it just base pleasure, but
Speaker 1: there's a way in which I my body allows them
Speaker 1: to connect mm hmm that I feel so much like
Speaker 1: compulsion and joy that I can help them. Like I
Speaker 1: just talked about compersion on uh something on Quimby with
Speaker 1: our friend Shan Booty, and I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: compersion is so interesting because, uh, for those of you
Speaker 1: don't know, compersion is the opposite of jealousy when you're
Speaker 1: feeling like overwhelming joy for someone that's enjoying pleasure or
Speaker 1: in love with someone else. I feel like I'm half right,
Speaker 1: Like I love and feel amazing when someone that I
Speaker 1: care about is enjoying sex with someone else, but not
Speaker 1: necessarily when there's an emotional attachment. But that's interesting because
Speaker 1: you're saying that you know you're the bond between these
Speaker 1: two people that makes you feel good our We have
Speaker 1: a good friend, um dubs. She came on and she's
Speaker 1: been a unicorn for a long time, and she would
Speaker 1: always try to explain it to me. I never got it.
Speaker 1: She's sometimes I feel like the missing piece, or I
Speaker 1: love watching the two of them are. Seeing this couple's
Speaker 1: love makes me feel happy. And there were times where
Speaker 1: I don't know if necessarily judging, but I would wonder
Speaker 1: if she enjoyed it because she wasn't having love like
Speaker 1: she was single, and I'm like, I wonder if that's
Speaker 1: our way to get it, or if it's really that,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And I'm curious, like do
Speaker 1: you ever feel emptiness from it if you're not necessarily
Speaker 1: a part of the relationship. So it's just on like
Speaker 1: a two week or so a little more like almost
Speaker 1: three week vacation with a couple, right, And the trip
Speaker 1: wasn't about me. I was there just because you know,
Speaker 1: I love this person. I wanted to spend some time
Speaker 1: with the person they love, and also I need to
Speaker 1: get away. So there was a lot involved, but it
Speaker 1: wasn't about me, and I went knowing that, like, this
Speaker 1: is not about my pleasure. I'm gonna be sleeping in
Speaker 1: my own bed like a lot of times, like I said,
Speaker 1: they just had sex in the couch next to me.
Speaker 1: And what I learned was like, after a while, like yeah,
Speaker 1: I do have my own needs. And I had to
Speaker 1: find agency in that and say, hey, I need a
Speaker 1: kiss before bed, or I need a hug in the morning,
Speaker 1: because you too have your needs even though you're they're
Speaker 1: providing for a couple, so there's a space too. I
Speaker 1: love the experience and for compulsion, but it's also important
Speaker 1: to advocate for what your needs are and to navigate
Speaker 1: what the situation is. Come on communication, Did you spend
Speaker 1: every night alone? They were like one or two nights
Speaker 1: where like maybe the other person stayed out late, but
Speaker 1: pretty much the whole time. I ain't gonna hold you.
Speaker 1: I want I went on a trip with one of
Speaker 1: my lovers last summer and I invited three of my
Speaker 1: friends and I let them know, y'all may or may
Speaker 1: not have to, you know, sleep with me in my nigga,
Speaker 1: And they did. And I loved it because my friends,
Speaker 1: after they joined us in in some play, they left
Speaker 1: the room and allowed me and him that space, and
Speaker 1: they were like, all right, we'll see you at the
Speaker 1: bar and they literally left us and allowed me to,
Speaker 1: you know, enjoy that space with my lover by myself,
Speaker 1: which I appreciate it. Um, before we do get out
Speaker 1: of here, I do you want to quickly get to
Speaker 1: the whole meal, and we're gonna make this one quick. Uh.
Speaker 1: So this was please feel free to give any advice
Speaker 1: because it is dealing with sugar daddies. Um. So it says, hey, ladies.
Speaker 1: Back in when I was twenty one, I met a
Speaker 1: sugar daddy. Quote she put in quotes Grandpa out and
Speaker 1: about an a t L who I've been dealing with
Speaker 1: ever since. His dick is trash, but the money and
Speaker 1: fun spirit keeps me around. He's also a trash ass
Speaker 1: nigga who lied about his wife and kids and even
Speaker 1: when as far as to sleep with my best friend,
Speaker 1: which eventually calls us to end our nine year friendship.
Speaker 1: I'm a vengeful person. Sorry, not sorry, I'm a leo.
Speaker 1: So I always had it in my mind that I
Speaker 1: would get him back. In May, he planned to take
Speaker 1: me out to celebrate my graduation, but his business meeting
Speaker 1: ran over a bit, so instead met him at the
Speaker 1: Four Seasons where he was having his meeting. Needless to say,
Speaker 1: I met some of his colleagues and decided that I
Speaker 1: would suck one big dick. Willie bed W is what
Speaker 1: we'll call him. We exchanged numbers and hit it off
Speaker 1: almost in me did lee. Initially I thought I would
Speaker 1: handle him like grandpa, hanging around just for money in
Speaker 1: a good time, until he hit me with that dick. Girl.
Speaker 1: This man fuck me like no other. This man has
Speaker 1: double dick, and he's super open, freaky, and his stamina
Speaker 1: is unmatched. We even got tickets to the A t
Speaker 1: L Show, but it was canceled. I know, bitch, I
Speaker 1: would have loved to meet you. Now, that's what I
Speaker 1: did not believe. It was really like, I mean, she
Speaker 1: was really like. We don't know if they we don't
Speaker 1: know if they got coronavirus from us. Fast forwarding to now,
Speaker 1: in b d W told me that he had met
Speaker 1: someone who he was interested in dating, so we decided
Speaker 1: to stop sucking. I am super chill, so I had
Speaker 1: stepped back and stopped hitting him up out of respect
Speaker 1: for his relationship. He, on the other hand, continued to
Speaker 1: hit me up and hit me up here and there
Speaker 1: through I g in a friendly manner. It started to
Speaker 1: be flirty back in August and I kind of played
Speaker 1: into it, but not too much. Now he is full
Speaker 1: on trying to funk, and I am truly confused on
Speaker 1: what to do. I haven't had sex since him and
Speaker 1: have no desire to funk with anyone else. I'm too
Speaker 1: scared to get some weak as dick from somewhere else
Speaker 1: and be disappointed. But I want to suck him. But
Speaker 1: I feel like still dealing with karma from Grandpa being married,
Speaker 1: and that's why I can't find a man now. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I went through this b d W and
Speaker 1: I keep making plans and then going back on them
Speaker 1: because we both know it's wrong. What should I do?
Speaker 1: Suck him and get ten more years of bad karma
Speaker 1: and feel guilty afterwards, or block his ass and cut
Speaker 1: ties for good. I'm not gonna lie. I just actually
Speaker 1: want to mention that this has been something I've been
Speaker 1: going through with my current relationship. I think for a
Speaker 1: long time. Because I've openly had relationships with married men,
Speaker 1: A part of me felt like, all right, karma gonna come.
Speaker 1: I just ain't never gonna get a nigga. This is
Speaker 1: all I should take from what men are given me.
Speaker 1: So I thought my relationship ship and all my other
Speaker 1: lovers made sense because that's what I get for fucking
Speaker 1: with these married men. So I understand where she's coming
Speaker 1: from with that UM. Also the fact that she was
Speaker 1: vengeful in this UM. I think that the way she
Speaker 1: started it out wasn't away in what she was looking
Speaker 1: for a relationship. However, because his dick is so good,
Speaker 1: maybe she does want more from him, which is why
Speaker 1: she decided to pull back. He started dating, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. So I think that if you can
Speaker 1: get in your mind that you can still enjoy this
Speaker 1: person without being in a relationship with him, then go
Speaker 1: for it. But if you genuinely want something deeper with
Speaker 1: this person, I would say cut ties right now, because
Speaker 1: it's you're just gonna be teasing yourself and making yourself
Speaker 1: feel more bad for the things that you feel. Like
Speaker 1: karma has come and you know written do it. I
Speaker 1: do think karma is a real thing, like I think,
Speaker 1: I mean, you may have paid hers in other ways,
Speaker 1: they will never know, Like I think my first relationship
Speaker 1: with someone who was me and this is really why
Speaker 1: I don't ever want to sleep but a married man.
Speaker 1: The first man I really fell in love with was
Speaker 1: married and I genuinely didn't know. And then when he
Speaker 1: told me, I was trying to break up with him,
Speaker 1: and he ended up getting a divorced and we were
Speaker 1: together for two years after that, and I remember feeling
Speaker 1: guilty the whole time. Um, true, I wasn't the reason
Speaker 1: they divorced, right, Like, I mean, I'm sure it's just
Speaker 1: the push over the edge for him. They were already
Speaker 1: separated at the time, which is what made it so
Speaker 1: easy to date me. But I think back to it
Speaker 1: all the time, and I'm like, I was young, but
Speaker 1: also I keep letting it happen, Like I could have
Speaker 1: taken myself out of the equation, but I stayed right.
Speaker 1: And to me, that selfishness is what really made a
Speaker 1: lot of the relationships difficult for me that I had,
Speaker 1: or made love troubling to find and different ships, Like
Speaker 1: I just had a lot of issues with relationships, and
Speaker 1: I always believed it was the karma. I think that
Speaker 1: ship is real. I feel like it's just I don't know,
Speaker 1: And even if it's not necessarily real, you'll manifest it
Speaker 1: in some way. Will be too pessimistic about a relationship
Speaker 1: because we need we fucked someone over, or when you
Speaker 1: feel that guilty you of something's wrong, I think you
Speaker 1: do have to let it go. I agree, yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: I also believe in Carmen, you've seen your life, but
Speaker 1: I don't think that should let you not realize your
Speaker 1: full desires or you're full. I agree with that too absolutely,
Speaker 1: and which I desire cash. Yeah, it's weird because there's
Speaker 1: this thing about money in my head, like when it
Speaker 1: comes to a sex workers right where I'm always just like, well,
Speaker 1: that's different. I don't know why it's so different, but
Speaker 1: to me, but for me, I think the emotional aspect
Speaker 1: of cheating and enabling someone to cheat, that's that's married.
Speaker 1: That makes it more fucked up, especially when you're with
Speaker 1: someone that may ultimately one relationship. When it is sex workers,
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, well you get paid, but a job,
Speaker 1: That's what I said. I mean, if if I don't
Speaker 1: think drug dealers are wrong because they serve the fiends,
Speaker 1: like I think that's their job. That to me, if
Speaker 1: you are engaging in sexual activity for money, whether you
Speaker 1: want to call it a sugar daddy or even in
Speaker 1: my case, I've come on here and said all the
Speaker 1: married men I financially gained from. So if it sounds
Speaker 1: better or in my mind makes me feel like, okay,
Speaker 1: maybe karma won't come to me because I enacted as
Speaker 1: a sex worker, then okay, you know what I mean, Um,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think that me dealing with married
Speaker 1: men in the capacity that I did was barely any
Speaker 1: different than a sex worker. I engaged in those relationships
Speaker 1: for a financial game, So I mean, I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: lie part of it. Yes, part of it was wrong,
Speaker 1: but a part of it does make me feel like, Okay, well,
Speaker 1: I was providing a service. It was a job, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like, so will karma actually come
Speaker 1: back for me? I think it was more so how
Speaker 1: I valued myself and what I felt like I deserved
Speaker 1: from men because I engaged in these relationships. So, and
Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying, Where you deserve doesn't change how
Speaker 1: life is gonna play out, food is gonna play off
Speaker 1: for you. And if anything, that's part of the karma itself.
Speaker 1: It's like the guilt that eats you. Yeah it is,
Speaker 1: And I think that that's what it is. I think
Speaker 1: just the guilt and how I decided to continue moving No,
Speaker 1: so you're completely right. Um, Dia, thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1: Can you let us know where our followers may be
Speaker 1: able to follow you? I know you have your Instagram,
Speaker 1: your Twitter and your only fans. Go ahead and plug
Speaker 1: that and it will be in the description Twitter is
Speaker 1: at the bottom bitch dot com. Only fans that dare Macia,
Speaker 1: dare Dia, dare so d a y a husband eater y. Well, guys,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for tuning into another episode of
Speaker 1: Horrible Decisions. Make sure to stay tuned. We are leaving
Speaker 1: you with a five minute bonus clip from our patreon.
Speaker 1: That's right. If you're all cut up on horrible Decisions,
Speaker 1: make sure that you go on over to patreon dot
Speaker 1: com backslash Horrible Decisions and become a motherfucking patron. Hope.
Speaker 1: That's right, Um, and thank you once again for tuning
Speaker 1: into another episode of Horror Decisions by ladies. I love
Speaker 1: everything you do. I just found something out. I'm freaking out.
Speaker 1: I have no clue what to do. I was just
Speaker 1: informed by my boyfriend that is ex has herpes and
Speaker 1: did while they were together. She wasn't having an outbreak
Speaker 1: then they never fully had sex. I don't know what
Speaker 1: the funk that means. But I know your episode with Ella,
Speaker 1: that's still possible to even get it then, and it's
Speaker 1: extremely common. So I'm not upset over the possibility that
Speaker 1: have her I have her pies. I'm piste off that
Speaker 1: I was just informed of this almost a year into
Speaker 1: our relationship. He's never been tested for it or an
Speaker 1: STD in general. It was dumb and not like me
Speaker 1: to still have sex with him after that, but I
Speaker 1: immediately got tested on my own. But as discussed on
Speaker 1: Ella's episode, they don't test for her pies. Not caring
Speaker 1: about your own sexual health is one thing, but I
Speaker 1: feel like not caring about your partner's sexual health is another.
Speaker 1: I don't care if I have it, like I said,
Speaker 1: but I just feel very betrayed and disrespected. I'm not
Speaker 1: sure what to do. He knows I'm mad at him,
Speaker 1: but with dumping him be over dramatic. I feel like
Speaker 1: hiding something is kind of a deal breaker. Please help me.
Speaker 1: I'm a patron. You can read this on there too.
Speaker 1: Um So, she mentioned that she got tested, but really
Speaker 1: realize that they don't test for her bees. That's only
Speaker 1: because you have to just ask, so they do test
Speaker 1: you for her bees. If you go in for an
Speaker 1: STD screening, however, you have to ask for them to
Speaker 1: include her pies. So she's just saying like she got
Speaker 1: tested after but but like, like you know, it's sometimes
Speaker 1: you've got to us story, so just go back and requested.
Speaker 1: I think the interesting thing is is dumping him over
Speaker 1: gramatic because she said, it's not about the herpes, it's
Speaker 1: about um the deal breaker from hiding something. I'll be
Speaker 1: honest with you, and I surprised I'm even saying this,
Speaker 1: but I don't even know if he realized he was
Speaker 1: hiding something. And here's why. If a year later he
Speaker 1: told you, I yes, Like, I think here's the the
Speaker 1: interesting thing. You can be mad that he didn't care
Speaker 1: enough about your health because that is something that's super
Speaker 1: important that people don't give a funk about. Right, People
Speaker 1: care about themselves and people are worried about their own ship.
Speaker 1: Not everyone is just conci conscientious about others around them.
Speaker 1: That's why people voted for Trump. Right, that's like just
Speaker 1: a more over larger issue. People are not selfless like
Speaker 1: they need to be. That is an issue for you.
Speaker 1: Let that be the issue for you. But if he
Speaker 1: eventually told you. He probably never realized that he was
Speaker 1: quote unquote lying right, So I don't know if dumping
Speaker 1: him for that would be over dramatic. I think dumping
Speaker 1: him should be because you feel like he doesn't care
Speaker 1: about that as much more than he hit it, because
Speaker 1: I don't know if he did it. I think that
Speaker 1: this would be a time for you both to talk
Speaker 1: about your sexual health and being that he never went
Speaker 1: and got tested. To me, there's nothing technically wrong with
Speaker 1: him not disclosing the health of someone else. I think
Speaker 1: that this is something to where you can both take
Speaker 1: as a learning lesson. But the fact that he didn't
Speaker 1: disclose something that could be very private to someone else uh.
Speaker 1: To me, it's more so the fact that he never
Speaker 1: thought the need to go and get tested, which means
Speaker 1: he may not see herpies as a big deal, which
Speaker 1: means the two of you may need to open up
Speaker 1: about your views on sexual health as it pertains to
Speaker 1: as TDS, and this could be the time to where
Speaker 1: you both go and get tested together, or you find
Speaker 1: or you find out from him why herpies isn't a
Speaker 1: big deal to him. Maybe he feels like it's not
Speaker 1: that big of a deal as long as you don't
Speaker 1: get outbreaks, or maybe he feels like how or maybe
Speaker 1: he feels like so many people in the world. I mean,
Speaker 1: we've talked about it even on the episode. Eighty percent
Speaker 1: of people have have some form of herpie simplex. Of course,
Speaker 1: there's the one on your mouth and the one on
Speaker 1: your genitals, but also herpies can can end up in
Speaker 1: any moist area on your body. You can get hertpies
Speaker 1: and you're goddamn arn't pit. So I think that it's
Speaker 1: important for you, guys to discuss your views on sexually
Speaker 1: transmitted disease and your sexual health and not use this
Speaker 1: as a time to to to badger him or or
Speaker 1: punish him by breaking up with him. But this is
Speaker 1: a chance for you to educate him and maybe see
Speaker 1: where his views are on this. That's a really important thing,
Speaker 1: is that he may not just understand and um, and
Speaker 1: everything is a learning moment and a teaching woman. Excuse me,
Speaker 1: And when it happens like this, especially if he told
Speaker 1: you a year later, it doesn't sound like a lie. Um. Also, bitch,
Speaker 1: what has never fully had sex? Because you look white? Zoe?
Speaker 1: And I wonder if this is some white people, because
Speaker 1: when white people say we hooked up, I'm like, what
Speaker 1: that means. I don't know what hooked up means. Do
Speaker 1: you know what it means, Mandy, because I don't hooked
Speaker 1: up without sex. Maybe just make people be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we hooked up once, and you're like, what I'm saying
Speaker 1: hooking hooking up the sex. That's what I thought, so
Speaker 1: what I'm looking up. But hooking up is the same
Speaker 1: way we talked about dating, meaning something depending on the
Speaker 1: person or up I mean, but we also say oral
Speaker 1: sex is sex, So my nigga, it's still sex. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: maybe that's what she means they her fully had sex.
Speaker 1: When she said they'd never fully had sex, that made
Speaker 1: me think to myself, they drop or played an or