Speaker 1: Who Do Who. Special announcement alert, I repeat special announcement alert.
Speaker 1: If you live in the city of San Francisco, California,
Speaker 1: we are doing a big, jam packed Stradio Lab live
Speaker 1: show on Friday, January seventeenth at Cobbs Comedy Club as
Speaker 1: part of SF's Sketch Fest. We cannot wait to see
Speaker 1: you guys. Tickets are available in our Instagram bios and
Speaker 1: on linktreed dot com, slash Stradio Lab. That's l I
Speaker 1: n K t r ee dot com slash Stradio Lab.
Speaker 1: Tell your friends, spread the word. This is one of
Speaker 1: the biggest shows we've ever done. It's our first time
Speaker 1: doing Sketch Fest. We cannot wait to see you. We
Speaker 1: can't wait to be in San Francisco in January and
Speaker 1: escape the frigid New York cold and also I guess
Speaker 1: the very warm Los Angeles weather for Sam and we
Speaker 1: can't wait to see you January seventeenth at Cobbs Comedy Club,
Speaker 1: part of SF Sketch Fest. See you there and enjoy
Speaker 1: the show.
Speaker 2: Podcast starts now. What is up everyone around the world
Speaker 2: and welcome to Stradia Lab. We have been teasing starting
Speaker 2: this podcast for over fifteen minutes and now guess what
Speaker 2: we are giving that sweet release of actually starting the podcast. George,
Speaker 2: how are you?
Speaker 1: The technology required to record what we're doing now was
Speaker 1: invented pretty much two days ago. There are two of
Speaker 1: us in Times Square. There is one person at home
Speaker 1: in Los Angeles while fires are raging around him, and
Speaker 1: there is another person at home in Brooklyn while Barista's
Speaker 1: are raging around him.
Speaker 2: Which and so we have somehow managed to come together,
Speaker 2: despite all the odds and despite the world crumbling, to
Speaker 2: record a podcast. And it's actually our first recording of
Speaker 2: the year, which is kind of crazy.
Speaker 1: It is. It's our first recording of the year. So
Speaker 1: I just want to say, happy new year. So far
Speaker 1: it is not a great one, but there is still hope.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I gotta say we did start off on a
Speaker 2: weird note.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you? Yeah, totally, I'm like, so far,
Speaker 1: there's way I do want to say. So far, there
Speaker 1: has been not a single good thing that has happened
Speaker 1: this year.
Speaker 2: I've been getting amazing sleep.
Speaker 1: Oh that's good. Good for you.
Speaker 2: So that's one thing, George, say something positive about your
Speaker 2: year so far.
Speaker 1: Okay, See that's the thing. What I was gonna say
Speaker 1: is actually a huge negative. I had an experience that
Speaker 1: was so shocking, and I'm actually gonna say it now,
Speaker 1: and then later when we bring in our guests, maybe
Speaker 1: we can discuss it a little bit more. I was
Speaker 1: passing by the Harry Potter store in New York City
Speaker 1: and I said, wouldn't it be funny to go in,
Speaker 1: find something stupid take a photo of it.
Speaker 2: Honey, I'm laughing.
Speaker 1: You got a viral meme right there, You know what
Speaker 1: I mean? I was, I had, I had a little
Speaker 1: time to kill. I said, I'm gonna find a hufflepuff merch.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, I'm gonna see some you know, out
Speaker 1: of towner's shopping for ginger beer. Wait, no, ginger beer
Speaker 1: is the one that exists. What is the other? One
Speaker 1: called butter beer? Butter beer? And I said, you know,
Speaker 1: this will be funny. This will be just sort of
Speaker 1: like a funny thing that I do. I went in,
Speaker 1: I'm about to say something shocking. Within forty five seconds,
Speaker 1: the nostalgia got me to such an extent that I
Speaker 1: was literally like, put the sorting hat on me. I'm
Speaker 1: ready to enter Hogwhites. I was shocked as someone who
Speaker 1: a like obviously, I am marching against Jake Carrowlling daily.
Speaker 1: I would say I do a women's march by myself
Speaker 1: against Jake Carrolling every morning when I wake up. I
Speaker 1: don't have nostalgia for Harry Potter. I read the books
Speaker 1: when I was a kid have not had any desire
Speaker 1: to revisit them. I also hate all toxic nostalgic culture.
Speaker 1: I hate BuzzFeed. Nineties kids will remember this. I don't get,
Speaker 1: you know, emotional when I think of Nick at night,
Speaker 1: and yet I'm telling you, within seconds of walking in,
Speaker 1: I was ready to buy a head to toe gryffindor
Speaker 1: merch And I want to know what you read on
Speaker 1: that is.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm I obviously relate. I think how I
Speaker 2: treat Harry Potter is I actually just don't think about
Speaker 2: it as hard as I can, because I know that
Speaker 2: if I do, I will enjoy it. If I watch
Speaker 2: a film, I'll be like, well, might as well watch
Speaker 2: all of them like they were on sort of in
Speaker 2: the background of my holidays, and I was like I
Speaker 2: would walk into the room and see it and be like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, this is actually more fun than I remember.
Speaker 2: And I was like, no, no, no, don't get pulled in.
Speaker 2: Don't get pulled in tough, and I even like, I
Speaker 2: just think, you know, my answer is unfortunately always the
Speaker 2: government stepping in. But I think it should become a
Speaker 2: public service. It should just as long as she's not attached,
Speaker 2: we can still have it.
Speaker 1: No, you're we need.
Speaker 2: We need, George. What I want to say is obviously ironic,
Speaker 2: but run with me, George. We need a Minister of
Speaker 2: magic in our government, and they need to be in
Speaker 2: charge of the Harry Potter franchise.
Speaker 1: No, actually, I would say the minute magic has to
Speaker 1: be in charge specifically of separating the art from the artist,
Speaker 1: in the way that we separate church and state. You know,
Speaker 1: that's like the government. It's the government's responsibility to separate
Speaker 1: church and state. I know that's not exactly it, but
Speaker 1: shut up. It's the government's responsibility to separate church and state.
Speaker 1: Every time church and state are suspected of intermingling, someone
Speaker 1: is you know, it goes up to the Supreme Court.
Speaker 1: That needs to happen. As soon as someone creates art,
Speaker 1: it needs to be separated from them, and the authorship
Speaker 1: needs to be independent of the author.
Speaker 2: I do think if your art makes one billion dollars.
Speaker 2: It's like it's not yours anymore, Like it's not yours.
Speaker 1: At all, right, exactly like it is now.
Speaker 2: I don't know it's what public domain.
Speaker 1: I don't know who create who'd wrote jingle bells? No one,
Speaker 1: probably someone who doesn't have great politics. But you better
Speaker 1: believe I'm going to be shaking my booty to that
Speaker 1: every year.
Speaker 2: I could not agree more.
Speaker 1: I think I'm obsessed with us silencing to trans people.
Speaker 1: While talking about Jake Carroll, I have.
Speaker 2: To say, it's the funny things we've ever done, and
Speaker 2: I think you kicking it.
Speaker 3: Off outing me is crazy. Yeah, like I'm literally like
Speaker 3: stealth icon honeyblutes on. That's crazy, that's crazy, Okay by
Speaker 3: coming out, let's.
Speaker 4: Wow, you're acting. I'm also not magic.
Speaker 1: Well, of course you're. That's interestinctionalities that you're both trans
Speaker 1: and magic.
Speaker 5: Yeah, thank you, and actually, hey stop, it's like you
Speaker 5: already made a burista joke. Have you ever been to
Speaker 5: a coffee shop they're selling trans or magic shirts aerial italics.
Speaker 1: It's right there.
Speaker 6: Well, I'm not magic like that. I'm magic like making
Speaker 6: ship move around and like fighting.
Speaker 1: You're not magic. No, I'm not you're not queer joy.
Speaker 6: Famously, if you ever see me spouting that I'm releasing
Speaker 6: my trans joy, it makes me that I'm It means
Speaker 6: that I'm going to kill myself. Yeah, trans boy joy,
Speaker 6: I blink twice. Is I'm radiating trans joy?
Speaker 1: If you see Spike radiating trans joy called the poll? Yeah? Okay,
Speaker 1: So please welcome Honey Pluton and Spike Ironbinder.
Speaker 4: Hi, so you.
Speaker 1: Kind of yeah? So what's up? I mean, what do
Speaker 1: you think of my story?
Speaker 4: You're Slytherin.
Speaker 1: I'm literally being Slytherin.
Speaker 4: Yeah, being Slytherin.
Speaker 3: I've never read the book.
Speaker 2: Are you afraid? Are you afraid you'll fall?
Speaker 1: I will say, Spike, you're giving Slytherin with your current look.
Speaker 3: I don't like that.
Speaker 4: I Honey doesn't like it.
Speaker 1: So I doesn't read the books, Spike? Have you read
Speaker 1: the books?
Speaker 4: I read the books.
Speaker 6: I waited in line to get jk Rowling's autograph when
Speaker 6: I was a child. Wow, at a book release in La,
Speaker 6: where I'm from, and I'm just outing myself and always
Speaker 6: from La.
Speaker 4: Loved Harry Potter as a child. Met jk Rowling zero.
Speaker 4: She complimented my hair, She complimented my.
Speaker 6: Hair in a way that when I talked to my
Speaker 6: mom about possibly cutting it off. To this day, she
Speaker 6: cites jk Rowling compliment like, I can't get away from
Speaker 6: this transphobic woman.
Speaker 4: Wow, it's like in my DNA.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you have you haven't cut your
Speaker 1: hair because of JK Rowling.
Speaker 6: Well, I'm I'm waiting until it gets long enough to
Speaker 6: fashion it into like a flail, like a medieval weapon,
Speaker 6: so I can.
Speaker 4: Well, let's keep talking, like I can't say that on air.
Speaker 1: I feel like you should make it into a little
Speaker 1: like braid tie that you wear with. That's an idea,
Speaker 1: buttoned up, So.
Speaker 4: Don't attach like a medieval weapon to it.
Speaker 5: And Okay, it's almost transphobic that you told Spike to
Speaker 5: make his hair into a bolo tie.
Speaker 1: Excuse me.
Speaker 4: So we're at up to two.
Speaker 6: We're at two instances three if you want to count
Speaker 6: shutting us both out as one.
Speaker 4: Individual, course, yeah, because you can't. Lumping us in would
Speaker 4: be the fourth incident.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it would be like you're absolutely right, So
Speaker 1: lumping you together.
Speaker 4: As silencing us as one, as.
Speaker 1: One, as though you both have the same politics, the
Speaker 1: same opinions.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we're just two guys, Why would.
Speaker 2: You say that your politics differ the most?
Speaker 1: Yeah? What where would you self for the most?
Speaker 3: I think I'm a little bit more libertarian than Spike.
Speaker 1: Really okay, and roll all the way off? Does that
Speaker 1: make me?
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm gonna let you speak for yourself.
Speaker 1: But but you're like, you're communist. Spike is communist and
Speaker 1: Honey is sort of uh.
Speaker 2: You want to buy some land and like buy a
Speaker 2: gun and live.
Speaker 6: Like, yes, I was gonna say, I'm I'm socialist communists,
Speaker 6: but with gun.
Speaker 1: You are with gun, right, So maybe gun is where
Speaker 1: you overlap.
Speaker 6: Yeah, We're we're both in the in the Venn diagram.
Speaker 6: Guns is where we're sort of like carrying together.
Speaker 1: Got it? Got it?
Speaker 5: Okay, communists, I am more communist anarchists.
Speaker 2: So we do both, I'm seeing.
Speaker 4: So that's why I'm like, why would you say you're
Speaker 4: a libertarian.
Speaker 3: Because it rolls off the tongue. You know, it's an.
Speaker 4: Easier at is anarchist to be doing.
Speaker 1: Okay, here's the question. How do you feel about, like
Speaker 1: a full blown adult, tenured professor being like, I'm an
Speaker 1: anarchist on the browser history and will be you know
Speaker 1: what I mean?
Speaker 2: No, totally. This is such a smart point.
Speaker 1: I'm like, hello, no, you're like the king.
Speaker 4: No, not you, the professor of the darkness.
Speaker 1: Well, first of all, I established are not an anarchist.
Speaker 1: You're a gun toting.
Speaker 4: Hey we can I'm I'm yes, don't worry about okay.
Speaker 5: So but you know what I mean, I think that's
Speaker 5: okay to do, to be honest, because ideologies are actions,
Speaker 5: for sure, but anarchy is also something to be taught
Speaker 5: and understood, and so if you're part of a lineage
Speaker 5: of explaining that process to other people, then maybe you
Speaker 5: will have your pupils in cite the revolution.
Speaker 2: It's like, don't It's like how I can say I'm
Speaker 2: anti capitalist and be like, but I really want a
Speaker 2: nice watch.
Speaker 1: Totally, That's exactly what it's like. Yeah. I do think
Speaker 1: sometimes people myself included, get very frustrated at the at
Speaker 1: that distinction that like, there is a there is a
Speaker 1: a type of person the public imagination that is a
Speaker 1: practicing anarchist, and then there is someone who is like
Speaker 1: in the theoretical tradition of anarchy and is reading books
Speaker 1: and teach and doing workshops.
Speaker 3: I think it's annoying when people assimilate for sure.
Speaker 6: But I think they're the same person because people people
Speaker 6: assume that anarchy is like we're burning yes, yes, hashtag a.
Speaker 1: Little doing the A on a building, Like yeah, the masks,
Speaker 1: why are you not Banksy?
Speaker 3: Maybe he could be banks I know, actually.
Speaker 1: He could be camera seriously.
Speaker 4: Wait, yeah, I'm really bad at arts. So it's really
Speaker 4: it's like very I never.
Speaker 2: Found out who banks is.
Speaker 1: It's Spike. Yeah.
Speaker 6: My ideas are like, it's like a girl and she's
Speaker 6: and she's in black and white and she's holding a
Speaker 6: red balloon and there's like a guy in a gas
Speaker 6: mask pruning a gun in her.
Speaker 2: That you Spike, what's your next piece?
Speaker 4: Mm hmm okay, so get this. It's like a rat.
Speaker 6: He's in a suit, he's got a briefcase, and he's
Speaker 6: going into the White House.
Speaker 1: Wow, you are a g sh Just call me if
Speaker 1: we can find a way to disseminate that imagery. The
Speaker 1: Trump administration is crumble.
Speaker 4: That cheeto will be straight.
Speaker 2: I love Banksy. Fever was actually so funny because it
Speaker 2: was like, Okay, this is crazy. He did this in
Speaker 2: like a park, like anyone's allowed to look at this,
Speaker 2: and the hype around that when we're zoomed out a bit,
Speaker 2: I was like, what was wrong with all of us?
Speaker 2: Why was that like so enthralling?
Speaker 1: Totally? I mean it goes back to me. Well, first
Speaker 1: of all, of course, it goes back to Harry is
Speaker 1: very he is very heap. Wait what house would he in? Banks?
Speaker 2: Raven claw?
Speaker 1: What Harr's house?
Speaker 2: He's a raven claw.
Speaker 1: Okay, Banks's a raven claw. That is absolutely correct. Okay,
Speaker 1: here's a question that I struggle with. We have to
Speaker 1: know this is not Harry Potter. This is not Harry Potter.
Speaker 1: This is a question I struggle with. Think of like
Speaker 1: super cliche mass market art. Okay, think of like like
Speaker 1: Live Left Love or like no No, like like like
Speaker 1: Campbell Soup, Yeah, like warholl like Warhol pop art, or.
Speaker 4: Like the Balloon Dog.
Speaker 1: Literally what is I'm like, completely blinking, who's the guy
Speaker 1: that did like, you know, the art pop cover?
Speaker 2: Oh Coons?
Speaker 1: Oh, Jeff Coons, Jeff Coons, thank you?
Speaker 4: Isn't that the Balloon Dogs?
Speaker 1: Yes? Yes, yes, sorry again silence, you know Jeff Coon's
Speaker 1: Banksy Cause Okay, I think all these things like if
Speaker 1: you're in the art world, obviously you're like this is
Speaker 1: their complete hacks. Right, So here's the question. The question becomes,
Speaker 1: are people like that negative forces on the world because
Speaker 1: they are such terrible artists and because that's the only
Speaker 1: art some people see, or are they positive force in
Speaker 1: the world because they're an entry point for people to
Speaker 1: discover better art. It's like you discover Andy Warhol and
Speaker 1: the Marylands, and then through that maybe you see, oh
Speaker 1: there's an Andy Warhol retrospective. At moment, I'm gonna go,
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna see some better art.
Speaker 4: Nest thing. You know, you're like, I love piss Christ.
Speaker 1: Literally, yes, I think.
Speaker 5: Okay, my dad is a pop art addict. Okay, he
Speaker 5: can't get enough of the stuff. He is whatsapping me
Speaker 5: chronically pictures I'm assuming he's pulling from Pinterest that are
Speaker 5: like marble busts of a naked women but she has
Speaker 5: like a Japanese traditional sleep and he's sending this to
Speaker 5: me and he's like very beautiful, very nice touches, Like
Speaker 5: he is so moved by Banky, Like nothing makes my
Speaker 5: father believe that he is on the precipice of an
Speaker 5: entire new world that, like the Age of Aquarius, is
Speaker 5: at his fingertips. But like when he sees like graffiti
Speaker 5: of like an NFT ape like flushing a bunch of
Speaker 5: cheeseburgers in a toilet.
Speaker 3: He's like, finally, I'm alive.
Speaker 5: I'm It's like he's seeing g a like he can't
Speaker 5: fucking get a grip so understanding that he believes that
Speaker 5: the revolution is present in an NFT of like exactly
Speaker 5: like at at art bazzle of like a pop tart
Speaker 5: cat that's like dropping a new gone North Korea or
Speaker 5: something like that makes him go fucking ballistic.
Speaker 1: But he.
Speaker 3: Has really bad taste.
Speaker 5: That only informs a future that he wants it I'm
Speaker 5: really scared of.
Speaker 3: So I think it's the first I think.
Speaker 2: Okay, I agree, but honey, did you say Banky.
Speaker 1: That's his that's hisny was born with? Yeah, that's yeah,
Speaker 1: teename I, So I think.
Speaker 2: It's I agree with you. I actually think it's bad.
Speaker 2: I think it's like it's like cynical and almost tricks
Speaker 2: people into thinking they like art when and like and
Speaker 2: gives them like it's like not giving them actual sustenance.
Speaker 1: So they're like, oh, I'm full.
Speaker 2: But they aren't. They aren't fulfilled. And if that didn't exist,
Speaker 2: they would actually have to seek out things that they
Speaker 2: would actually like.
Speaker 3: It's kind of like George Bush being a painter.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, it's.
Speaker 4: Like he could never be cause he's.
Speaker 1: Definitely Okay, who's more talented, cause or George Bush.
Speaker 4: See that's the thing.
Speaker 1: It's like, I think it's I would say George George Bush.
Speaker 4: Is as outsider art.
Speaker 1: Actually, I completely agree. You don't see him in museums. No,
Speaker 1: he's on the friend They should put him on the
Speaker 1: outside of.
Speaker 4: Kim Daniel Johnston. Yeah, like they're the same guy basically.
Speaker 1: No, but I do agree with what you guys are saying.
Speaker 1: And it's like it's like saying fast food is like
Speaker 1: a way into health bowls. It's like, no, it's not. Yeah, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's a good point. I actually, so we need to
Speaker 1: find the art. Okay, here's the thing. We need to
Speaker 1: find populist art that is the sort of Chipotle kVA
Speaker 1: of art that's rather than the McDonald's way.
Speaker 2: That's a great point. Chipotle was fulling my way into
Speaker 2: food with flavors.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I feel like it's against his will and posthumous legacy.
Speaker 4: Keith Herring, Oh.
Speaker 6: It's like they took that and now that they have
Speaker 6: control over it, they made it Chipotle.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm very curious who runs Keith Herring's estate because
Speaker 5: I'm like, why is he on yogurt?
Speaker 1: Like it's so are you kidding me? He's basically like
Speaker 1: a branch of Uniclow at this point. No, No, the
Speaker 1: Keith Hearing estate is like one of the most At
Speaker 1: one point I read it's like they are money makers. Yes,
Speaker 1: but I actually think Keith Hearing is a great example
Speaker 1: of someone who, like, if handled correctly, could have been
Speaker 1: the Chipotle, but instead became McDonald's.
Speaker 2: Wow. No, you're right. I think that's really smart. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I wish.
Speaker 1: I'm like, who is the Chipotle Kava?
Speaker 2: Who? Well, unfortunately I don't know enough about art to
Speaker 2: sort of say who the chipotikva is? I feel.
Speaker 1: No, but that's the thing if it. Yes, I think boot.
Speaker 3: Is Boscot is Chipotle kVA.
Speaker 5: Because I was at the gym yesterday and I saw
Speaker 5: this guy, you know, really kind of like flinging himself
Speaker 5: around really just kind of like twirling the dumbbells and
Speaker 5: like somewhat aerobic ways. But I'm really worried about his
Speaker 5: lower back, and he had a giant Boscocht crown tattoo
Speaker 5: right here on his arm. So I think that he's
Speaker 5: the only place I've ever seen it, Like, yeah.
Speaker 6: That's where that tattoo goes. That's where it goes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wait, do you think Jenny Holzer is CHIPOTLEKVA?
Speaker 6: I was gonna say, yeah, I wanted to go. Literally,
Speaker 6: it's like rupee car.
Speaker 5: Oh okay, oh no, no, no, no, no, she's way worse,
Speaker 5: way worse.
Speaker 6: It's like she is like the Chipotle bag, but like
Speaker 6: in little Oh, you're right, you're I'm thinking about the bag,
Speaker 6: like that's where they talk, they're top.
Speaker 3: Oh No, I'm thinking about the sensation of actually like
Speaker 3: being at the Chipotle, like deciding if you want walk
Speaker 3: or not, Like do you get it at the burrito
Speaker 3: or a ball?
Speaker 1: Yes, exactly. And I think it's like that's the best.
Speaker 1: It's a sense of possibility. It's like when I look
Speaker 1: at a work by Boss Yacht, it doesn't matter if
Speaker 1: it's quite literally inside of a top man, I still
Speaker 1: feel a sense of hope. I'm like, this is I'm
Speaker 1: getting something out of this, out of this decontextualize line.
Speaker 5: Also, I would say the other example would be just
Speaker 5: kids that would be like the literary.
Speaker 1: Oh, you're right is on his own as a photographer,
Speaker 1: Chipotle Cova or H and M.
Speaker 4: He is the new H and M.
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally.
Speaker 2: The thing with the Chipotle Cova example is that I
Speaker 2: do think it's a false like they are actually very different.
Speaker 2: Like there's actually many people that don't know Kava.
Speaker 1: Cove is Mediterranean bol See, Cova's still Niche, Cova is
Speaker 1: some other artist. I don't know.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 1: You're absolutely right, Sam, You're absolutely right. Okay, So Chipotle
Speaker 1: is sort of that girl in the sense that Chipotle
Speaker 1: is the only thing that is both that transcends high.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like populist and it's like kind of a way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's basically health food. It's health food that
Speaker 1: is unhealthy.
Speaker 3: But Cava is something else, like Cova's like sweet green.
Speaker 4: Oh thank you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Cova is sweet green, and they're both sort of
Speaker 1: more Caroline Polo check. Yeah, Chipotle is Charlie xx.
Speaker 3: Yeah or is it no, Chipotle is a jelly oh okay, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: Chipotle is jelly roll. You absolutely Chipotle is jelly roll name.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know a single jelly roll song but
Speaker 2: the jelly roll like vibe. I think it's so funny.
Speaker 2: Likes the music or it's just like this guy's kind
Speaker 2: of funny that he's like.
Speaker 5: Chipotle is like jolly roll, post Malone, machine gun Kelly.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's like rolling up on your ATV. You're actually fighting.
Speaker 5: You're actively fighting with your girlfriend. Who It's like men
Speaker 5: who go to Chipotle are fighting with their girlfriends because
Speaker 5: their girlfriends think that think that she's being cheated on
Speaker 5: because she had a dream about it. Yeah, like that's
Speaker 5: what's happening.
Speaker 1: And and by the way, Chipotle is a man who
Speaker 1: is a fuck boy, and Cava is an alt girl
Speaker 1: who takes pictures of dead birds. And they are dating
Speaker 1: and you're like, wow, how did he land this like
Speaker 1: hot alt chick And it's like, because, bitch, he's Chipole exactly.
Speaker 2: Well, and deep down she's a little Republican.
Speaker 1: Like well, she barely knows what Republican means, but yes,
Speaker 1: she will end up voting.
Speaker 6: Yeah, she's like a Hillary stand she has that edge
Speaker 6: of looking at roadkill.
Speaker 1: She's edgy Hillary Stan road kill.
Speaker 2: Damn.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 4: Well, now that we've absolutely left no stone unturned.
Speaker 1: I mean that was one of the most intellectually dense
Speaker 1: discussions I've ever had in my life.
Speaker 2: I would say that was actually like, that was kind
Speaker 2: of scary. That was like I felt like I was falling,
Speaker 2: but like getting caught at every moment, like I was
Speaker 2: falling but taking care of Like the clouds were little
Speaker 2: pillows that I could land on.
Speaker 3: Mmm.
Speaker 1: Okay, it was definitely I write that down. Yeah, little
Speaker 1: pillow clouds.
Speaker 4: Being taken care of.
Speaker 1: Someone, someone with tattoos fall suddenly. Wait, I've thought of
Speaker 1: a new Banksy. Oh perfect, big trump head. Yeah, someone
Speaker 1: pinching it with a little needle. It pops like a balloon.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that is so so good.
Speaker 1: New Banksy, New Bank's Alert.
Speaker 3: Okay, that elephant and the donkey frenching.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, because guess what the.
Speaker 6: New Banksy lady and she's trying to go to plan
Speaker 6: parent but she's so pregnant. And Goofy from Disneylands is
Speaker 6: the father whoa.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, New banks and New Banksy. An atomic bomb
Speaker 2: is falling on the United States in America and it's money.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, it has a huge price tag on it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, Okay, New Banksy. Two guys in
Speaker 1: medieval gear are fighting, but instead of swords, it's giant cocks.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, one is a flower and one is a cock.
Speaker 3: Is a New Banksy, New Banksy grimace.
Speaker 5: It's shooting up heroin, but the heroine is the stock market.
Speaker 2: Ye whoa, Oh my god. Okay, okay, New Banksy, New
Speaker 2: banks and New Banksy. Okay. So it's the ocean and
Speaker 2: there's like all these microplastics and like there's like big
Speaker 2: cans of coc and stuff, and a whale is drinking
Speaker 2: a diet pepsih.
Speaker 6: New banks Okay. It's a McDonald's. But everyone working inside
Speaker 6: and lining up to go inside are prisoners. But they're
Speaker 6: also all Mickey Mouse's.
Speaker 2: Whoa that I can see going for over And that's it.
Speaker 2: That's the one that's amazing.
Speaker 1: I'm calling uniclow. That's gonna be on every T shirt.
Speaker 5: That couple that we mentioned before, the Chipotle copy, they
Speaker 5: reached for that T shirt at U all at the
Speaker 5: exact same time. And that's how they fall in love
Speaker 5: right there.
Speaker 1: That is so sweet. God. And you know what Chipotle
Speaker 1: introduced Kava to Banksy. He was like this artist, I
Speaker 1: really like this underground. I watched Exit through the Gift Shop.
Speaker 1: It's a great documentary about Banksy.
Speaker 4: And she's like, have you ever seen Crumb?
Speaker 1: She's like, I love her Many Karin.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm like like me.
Speaker 4: It's like, oh so me.
Speaker 5: And I keep saying that twenty twenty five pay twenty
Speaker 5: twenty six is gonna be our year twenty.
Speaker 1: We have to wait it out.
Speaker 5: That's twenty twenty five, GMO, twenty twenty six our year.
Speaker 3: Maybe spring Breakers.
Speaker 2: Spring I hope you're right. I don't know where Harmony
Speaker 2: Korin stands. I feel like that guy is probably like
Speaker 2: fucked up politically these days. Does anyone know the truth?
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm the Minister of Magic has separated the art
Speaker 1: from the artist.
Speaker 2: Oh thank god, thank you, Minister of Magic. Thank you.
Speaker 6: Thanks to the Minister of Magic, I can listen to
Speaker 6: Swans again.
Speaker 5: I think Harmony Kurran is just doing like fuck boy
Speaker 5: post woke word Salad. I agree where he's like Crypto
Speaker 5: Miami Abortion.
Speaker 6: It's like his last movie was him like accidentally doing
Speaker 6: command a highlighting all and inverting and then him going
Speaker 6: wait a second, and then he made it the whole thing,
Speaker 6: like when your computer goes gray scale.
Speaker 4: For one second, you're like, oh, fuck, how do we wait?
Speaker 6: This is I'm just like stop, we're doing this like
Speaker 6: that is just what happened.
Speaker 2: Damn I love that.
Speaker 4: And his child has a burgeoning jewelry business. Check it out?
Speaker 2: Really?
Speaker 1: Yes, Well, speaking of avant garde, should we do our
Speaker 1: first segment?
Speaker 2: I think that's an amazing idea, Spike, Honey. Our first
Speaker 2: segment is called straight Shooters, And in the SEMy we're
Speaker 2: going to gage you're familiarity with and complicity and straight
Speaker 2: culture by asking you a series of rapid fire questions.
Speaker 2: It's basically this thing or this other thing. And the
Speaker 2: only rule is you can't ask any followup questions or
Speaker 2: we will scream so loud at you that they're going
Speaker 2: to make a damn banksy about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And then and also, because there's two of you,
Speaker 1: you have to answer together.
Speaker 4: Do we try to mind meld?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: You should try to mind thing?
Speaker 1: Okay, Sam, go okay, Squad.
Speaker 3: I'm tapping my third eye.
Speaker 2: Russian nesting doll. Or touching your best friend Paul.
Speaker 5: One two three touching touching your best friend, Paul, Okay.
Speaker 1: Thug Boots are Back or a grassroots attack.
Speaker 2: Grassroots attack back okay, the end of Times or Amanda Mines.
Speaker 3: The End Times.
Speaker 1: Running late or stunning eight.
Speaker 2: Stunning, a little orphan Ani or little red.
Speaker 1: Corvette, little Corvet, new balance or old Yeller.
Speaker 2: Old Yeller, Okay, new year, knew me?
Speaker 1: Or a new phone?
Speaker 2: Who dis.
Speaker 3: New phone?
Speaker 1: This Virginia Wolf or Doja cat? This is a tough one, Virginia.
Speaker 1: Good job, guys. That was good.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, we really tapped in. We are ready
Speaker 3: for to You guys.
Speaker 2: Were really on the same page. That was amazing.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm gonna say, Sam, let's start off the
Speaker 1: year with a thousand doves.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: I love.
Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, I think this is our first
Speaker 1: thousand doves perfect score of the year. I just think
Speaker 1: we need it. We all need to win after everything
Speaker 1: we've been through. I think you guys really took it. Seriously.
Speaker 1: You did a great job. You were able to communicate
Speaker 1: telepathically via zoom.
Speaker 6: We did yes, lay me down like one, two three.
Speaker 2: Eyes roll back in ecstasy, of course, eyes.
Speaker 1: Roll back in ecstasy.
Speaker 4: We were in a sense disease.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, so a perfect one thousand doves diseased. It
Speaker 2: was an incredible performance.
Speaker 1: Wait, I actually speaking of pop music. I have a
Speaker 1: game that I want to introduce. We don't have to
Speaker 1: play it right now, but I thought of this the
Speaker 1: other day. Instead of fuck Mary Kill, it's Danielle heim
Speaker 1: sd Heim. Who's the other one? Alana Alanaheim. So it's
Speaker 1: like there's three things, and it's you have to decide
Speaker 1: which one is the consummate professional, which one is the gesture,
Speaker 1: and which one is the sort of ingenue slash youthful one.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's try it. How would you play it?
Speaker 1: Like three like, let's see think of think of okay, okay.
Speaker 2: So like ketchup mustard relish.
Speaker 1: Exactly, exactly, all right, ketchup mustard relish. What is the
Speaker 1: game called heim.
Speaker 5: Heim lick heim lick heimlich.
Speaker 1: And the way it works you go ketchup mustard relish
Speaker 1: heimlike and then the person has to has to do it.
Speaker 3: Okay, and it's the Okay, I'm not familiar with the I.
Speaker 1: Thought it was all right. So here's the thing. Danielle Heim,
Speaker 1: all right, she is like the brains behind the operation.
Speaker 1: She's like so professional, she's so into production. She's like
Speaker 1: she's like the Donald Rumsfeld. Totally. Yeah. Then we have Alana.
Speaker 1: She is the Angenu. She's the young one. She's so silly,
Speaker 1: she's like doing a little wink, but also is able
Speaker 1: to deliver a performance in a Paul Thomas Anderson film.
Speaker 1: And then Esti is doing a full stand up routine
Speaker 1: in the middle of the live show, and she's so
Speaker 1: kooky and she's like the crazy She's like the crazy
Speaker 1: one makes a face when she plays, she makes a
Speaker 1: silly face. She's says something in a proper.
Speaker 4: I think I got it.
Speaker 6: Okay, okay, Estie relish Anna Mustard, daniel catch.
Speaker 2: Yep, yep, damn.
Speaker 1: I think that's great. I think there's an argument to
Speaker 1: be made that because mustard is such a more serious condiment,
Speaker 1: it could be the Danielle. But I think the ketchup's
Speaker 1: status is the classic American condiment makes it Danielle. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think so too, because it's actually, like, like Alana,
Speaker 2: when someone really likes mustard, they get to feel like
Speaker 2: a little bit unique, like they're like, I actually really
Speaker 2: like mustard, and mustard is definitely the most Paul Thomas
Speaker 2: Anderson of the throat.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and being so like mustard only on the hot
Speaker 6: dog like that is liquiche.
Speaker 1: Pizza one percent.
Speaker 6: It's like, why does that hot dog not have ketchup?
Speaker 6: Because it's period realism exactly.
Speaker 1: Guess all right, Wow, I'm so glad I brought that up.
Speaker 2: That was amazing, I will.
Speaker 1: Say now I am so intensely ready to get into
Speaker 1: the topic.
Speaker 2: Yes, So, Spike and Honey, what is the topic you've
Speaker 2: brought to us today and what makes it straight to you?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 1: What laws?
Speaker 2: Laws?
Speaker 3: His laws?
Speaker 5: Okay, the topic that we brought in this week is laws,
Speaker 5: the law, the law.
Speaker 1: Law.
Speaker 5: Laws are heterosexual because it's someone telling you what the
Speaker 5: fuck to do.
Speaker 3: Okay, laws is the.
Speaker 5: Man, Okay, laws is some it's it's it's the default.
Speaker 5: You don't get to consent to the laws that you
Speaker 5: are a part of or that you have to live
Speaker 5: your life around. So it's classic straight culture and heterosexuality
Speaker 5: because you're following along to a system that you don't
Speaker 5: even know if you approve of, and it penalizes you,
Speaker 5: which is straight.
Speaker 4: Think about that being penalized. That's straight. You want to say,
Speaker 4: You're like, oh, that sounds gay.
Speaker 3: It's great, it's straight.
Speaker 6: Consequences are straight, Okay, It's.
Speaker 5: Like gay people hate. Consequences myself include obviously I do.
Speaker 6: Obviously I know it's early in the game, but I
Speaker 6: want to make a caveat, which is that rules are
Speaker 6: not laws.
Speaker 4: Those are different things.
Speaker 2: I like that because they're like a little bit more.
Speaker 1: Of a guide.
Speaker 4: Rules are more queer.
Speaker 1: Because rules is rules is the guidelines of being in
Speaker 1: a polyamorous polycule. Like that's rules, that's not laws.
Speaker 6: Rules is also like laws are like carved into stone
Speaker 6: heterosexual and rules are like tacked on the outside of
Speaker 6: a treehouse.
Speaker 1: They are chosen by consensus. Everyone is having vegan.
Speaker 4: People change rules all the time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like.
Speaker 3: Laws.
Speaker 2: Laws also really kissed me off because like the way
Speaker 2: that people like don't understand the note behind the note
Speaker 2: when it comes to laws, Like people are like, oh,
Speaker 2: like if the like so this isn't a law. But
Speaker 2: like like when it's like like at a movie theater
Speaker 2: when it's like it's not illegal to leave your cup
Speaker 2: there when the movie's over, and like have the person
Speaker 2: clean it up, So people will leave their cup there
Speaker 2: to clean it up, and it's.
Speaker 4: Like, yeah, that's heterosexual.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what's what I mean. It's like you should
Speaker 2: still throw it away exactly, And it is so.
Speaker 6: Leave no trace, like leave no trace, that's a rule.
Speaker 6: And if you have leave no traces a rule, that
Speaker 6: is gay. And you're acting as like you're turning everywhere
Speaker 6: into like a beautiful campsite like that. When you just
Speaker 6: leave wicked and you're taking other people's cups, that's you
Speaker 6: doing leave no trace and you're queering the space.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, you're absolutely right, And I think that's great.
Speaker 2: I I I get so annoyed when people need laws
Speaker 2: to act correctly. Yeah, like what's that.
Speaker 5: Because consequences are straight, but accountability is gay? Yes, yes, yeah,
Speaker 5: you know it's like and so that kind of goes
Speaker 5: back to this you know, prayer circle element of account
Speaker 5: ability or rules that.
Speaker 3: Gay people really cling to. It's like you want to
Speaker 3: have you know, you want to be summoning up the
Speaker 3: mountain to speak to elder. And that's why gay people
Speaker 3: love survivor so much.
Speaker 6: Like this is going to be controversial, but God handed
Speaker 6: down commandments and those were yes, written in stone and
Speaker 6: what were they? Directly in defiance of people having an
Speaker 6: amazing time with the sheikh calf that was made of gold.
Speaker 6: So it's kind of like where like where you know,
Speaker 6: God I think was playing a joke and had all
Speaker 6: this punishment and torture for straight people and for the
Speaker 6: purpose of procreation, and then everyone who was doing like
Speaker 6: idol worship was kind of like, well, we have our
Speaker 6: own thing going that has rules. Like they weren't just
Speaker 6: doing there weren't no rules. They just weren't the set
Speaker 6: in stone heterosexual laws.
Speaker 1: I mean, can you imagine being such a buzzkill that
Speaker 1: you just like parachute down into the world and you're like,
Speaker 1: there are ten laws now, yeah, Like that's like, first
Speaker 1: of all, it's your community, like get to know their.
Speaker 4: Honor, thy father and mother, like shut.
Speaker 1: Not all of us have a mother and father, I
Speaker 1: want to say one other exactly. A corollary of all
Speaker 1: this is law. Operating in a way that follows laws
Speaker 1: is fear based because you are afraid of consequences. To
Speaker 1: your point, you are afraid of punishment. You're afraid of
Speaker 1: going to prison. Operating in accordance to rules is all
Speaker 1: about communal care, and it's not Sometimes you might follow
Speaker 1: rules in a way that you're not going to get
Speaker 1: rewarded for, and if you break rules, you're not going
Speaker 1: to get punished, but you are operating on like a
Speaker 1: moral uh, you know, based on a sense of morality, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and a sense of ethics and an ethics of care.
Speaker 4: Yes, I'm lead please, no you go.
Speaker 3: Well, I was just gonna list some of my least
Speaker 3: favorite laws.
Speaker 6: Was I was literally about to start their insider trading, right, it's.
Speaker 4: Like jaywalking number one.
Speaker 5: Well that recently now when New York is no longer
Speaker 5: really really in LA, it's legal as fuck. So I'm
Speaker 5: gonna looking left and right because but that's also the thing.
Speaker 5: It's like gay people are defiant. Obviously, we put our
Speaker 5: hands up in the air. We fight for what's right.
Speaker 5: If I why why do I need to walk on
Speaker 5: these slotted horizontal stripes just to get across the street
Speaker 5: because a.
Speaker 3: Man told me to? That's straight. I don't want to
Speaker 3: fucking do that anymore.
Speaker 4: Who's the man that I'm listening to?
Speaker 6: The white man that's in the long signal, This guy
Speaker 6: I'm listening to that white man.
Speaker 2: No white house is popping as a balloon. I'm supposed
Speaker 2: to listen to the popping as a balloon.
Speaker 5: I speeding should also just not be alone, like that's
Speaker 5: autumn everywhere.
Speaker 2: I think there was a child. I really like the
Speaker 2: idea of laws, Like I think, I was like this
Speaker 2: is awesome, and then as an adult it really is like, oh,
Speaker 2: this is so not fake. But it's like like I
Speaker 2: think about like you realize how many people are breaking
Speaker 2: laws at all times, and it's like, okay, then we
Speaker 2: need to stop having them, Like we need to figure
Speaker 2: this out in a moral.
Speaker 1: And of course, what you're pointing to the kind of
Speaker 1: like current dare I say I start to use this
Speaker 1: term laid capitalist issue with laws is that we are
Speaker 1: in a place where if you have power, you don't
Speaker 1: have to follow the law. Yes, So there's the problems
Speaker 1: with laws, you know, as written, and then there's problems
Speaker 1: with the general legal system where guess what, if you're
Speaker 1: Jeff Bezos, you don't have to pay taxes, which is
Speaker 1: something that is by law, something all of us have
Speaker 1: to do as independent contractors.
Speaker 2: Well even like and like drug use is like if
Speaker 2: you're rich, it's fine, if you're poor, it's horrible.
Speaker 1: Like if you're white, it's fine. Yeah you're not white,
Speaker 1: it's bad.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And like it is. So I know we're like
Speaker 2: not saying anything groundbreaking and that everyone already agrees with
Speaker 2: us and knows this, but it is sort of like,
Speaker 2: how come that hasn't been changed yet? I don't understand.
Speaker 5: Well, another fun thing about law is then when you
Speaker 5: break them, you get to be a criminal.
Speaker 3: And what's amazing is gay criminals that Donald Trump, Yeah,
Speaker 3: most of them all.
Speaker 5: You know when Eileen Werenos and criminal?
Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely, So that's fun too.
Speaker 5: You know, when gay people have had enough, then you
Speaker 5: get to have a little dog day afternoon man, and
Speaker 5: it's like I'm going to you know, realign my life
Speaker 5: as mine and to find the laws for me, finally
Speaker 5: living your queer truth out loud if you will.
Speaker 4: And that's exactly what Eileen Wenos did exactly.
Speaker 2: She did nothing, She did nothing wrong. Any of us
Speaker 2: would have done that in her situation, any of us complete.
Speaker 3: So maybe you can try it.
Speaker 5: Laws that I've personally had to come up across in
Speaker 5: my day, obviously not paying the MTA fine, the fair
Speaker 5: jumping over a turnstile, yea, yeah, nothing could be Like,
Speaker 5: nothing is more heterosexual than forcing me to give you
Speaker 5: money for something that doesn't work. It's like gay services work, okay, Yeah,
Speaker 5: that's like you trust a gay guy to cut your
Speaker 5: hair because that ship's going to work.
Speaker 3: A gay tailor works.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
Speaker 3: We trust homosexuals. Yeah, yeah, to get from point A
Speaker 3: to point B.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Similarly, stealing like that was never that was never mine.
Speaker 6: It was never theirs. Like it's a communal aspect like giving,
Speaker 6: it's you know, like think about how Robinhood was dressed.
Speaker 3: That's very gay.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: On stealing, I feel no, I agree with you.
Speaker 5: I'm like, so I used to go into an American
Speaker 5: apparel and I was like, all, this ship is mine.
Speaker 6: I was like, this is raw horror pants size twenty
Speaker 6: four to twenty nine because it didn't go above twenty nine.
Speaker 4: This essentially out of there a free man.
Speaker 2: Essentially every store is CBS. So I'm like, well, no, one,
Speaker 2: this is literally a victimless crime. Stealing from any store now,
Speaker 2: Like it's not like any store is like, oh, this
Speaker 2: is a mom and pop, Like they've had this little
Speaker 2: general store and they make their own butter. Like, no,
Speaker 2: it's all CBS.
Speaker 1: I know. By the way, speaking of CVS, you know
Speaker 1: what is the biggest failure of public policy is the
Speaker 1: way things are locked in CBS current And I would
Speaker 1: say that is like, it's like that is laws person exactly.
Speaker 1: That is what I was about to say, it's like,
Speaker 1: if you take the ethos of laws to which to
Speaker 1: its natural conclusion, here's what you get. A store where
Speaker 1: it is quite literally impossible to buy anything. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: everything is locked and there's no one there to.
Speaker 6: Get the items have already done something to land themselves
Speaker 6: in pay exactly, and like now the people working like
Speaker 6: each store is a mega prison with like the clerks
Speaker 6: are wardens, freeing the deodorant from its sentence.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: And it's devastating because now I worry that we're.
Speaker 5: About to enter an era where you can't even run
Speaker 5: an errand anymore. It's like, that's what's so devastating is
Speaker 5: like going to CVS used to be so fab Like
Speaker 5: you know, walking to CVS, hearing the food fighters, you know,
Speaker 5: blaring so loud. It's like, you know, and just being
Speaker 5: able to kind of like meander through the lines and
Speaker 5: then pick up what you wanted.
Speaker 6: And then now open a monster and you just sort
Speaker 6: of drink it while you're there and then it ends
Speaker 6: up in the trash and you don't have to pay
Speaker 6: for it exactly.
Speaker 5: But now I need to have like five friends sign
Speaker 5: a petition for me to like buy my neuture gena
Speaker 5: face wash. I have to like share a fucking go
Speaker 5: fundme for my toothpaste to be able to like liberate
Speaker 5: it like a prison. And then you press the button.
Speaker 5: You press the little button and it echoes over the
Speaker 5: hollowed halls and just kind of like chronically as.
Speaker 3: You pray for a worker to come.
Speaker 1: You press the button and suddenly there's an announcement to
Speaker 1: the whole block. That's like gay guy needs his moisturizer.
Speaker 6: Like pressing the button is entering into the consumer consent
Speaker 6: of like being on blasts. It's like there's no more browsing.
Speaker 6: Browsing very gay. Just looking looking is gay cruising when
Speaker 6: you you're cruising, cruising exactly. You could you could find
Speaker 6: what you want, you could not. You could leave with
Speaker 6: something that no one knows that you left with that's
Speaker 6: sexy to take to take away and under no one
Speaker 6: is aware. Now you press the button, You're like, I'm
Speaker 6: a consumer, Come to me, help me to enter into
Speaker 6: this thing where the laws are.
Speaker 4: I press the button to.
Speaker 3: Press the button, and it's like trans guy needs monostatus.
Speaker 3: Everybody also like.
Speaker 1: That, like only so the only action you are legally
Speaker 1: permitted to do is purchase because guess what, what if
Speaker 1: I want to just check a bottle and see if
Speaker 1: it has microplastics, Yeah, that doesn't mean I have to
Speaker 1: buy it. It's there for my perusal, exactly. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to call. I'm not going to press It would
Speaker 1: be humiliating if I press the button. Someone who is
Speaker 1: being paid negative two cents an hour came got it
Speaker 1: for me, just for me to be like hmm, never mind,
Speaker 1: I would hate myself.
Speaker 2: I this is like making me actually so upset because
Speaker 2: walking and going to buy a little thing is like
Speaker 2: one of the few joys we have in this world.
Speaker 2: And like, I fucking like hate having the like online
Speaker 2: subscribe to toilet paper. It's like, what are you talking about?
Speaker 3: Subscription services?
Speaker 6: This is the other pasty, Like okay, this is the
Speaker 6: other thing that every item is in prison.
Speaker 4: But also every item now has a.
Speaker 6: Voice that they talk to you with, Like every item
Speaker 6: is like hi, I'm winky, the you razor that, Like
Speaker 6: it's like, no, I don't want to hear you should
Speaker 6: be silent in my inner pocket or up my sleeve,
Speaker 6: like a big piece of cheese from Whole Foods that
Speaker 6: no one will miss. That I do, like, I don't
Speaker 6: want you to have this agency. That's like, that's why
Speaker 6: you're in the cage because you started talking. Yeah, these
Speaker 6: they're making these voices. So we feel bad for liberating
Speaker 6: them because now the Dyson is an item that I
Speaker 6: can meet, meet the new Dyson, Like, I don't want
Speaker 6: to meet her. I want her to fall off the
Speaker 6: back of the truck and then I take her into
Speaker 6: my house.
Speaker 1: By the way, guess what you think having you think
Speaker 1: personifying product is going to make them, make you have
Speaker 1: a more personal connection to them. It's actually doing the opposite.
Speaker 1: It's making them so similar to humans that then you're
Speaker 1: walking around looking at humans and you're like, well, that's
Speaker 1: basically as good as a detergent. Like I'm not going
Speaker 1: to respect my fellow man because he's basically just a detergent.
Speaker 4: He's Harry's razor.
Speaker 6: He's Harry's razors, and I don't give a fuck about it.
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 4: I'm muting him.
Speaker 1: Next thing you know, there's murder on the street. So
Speaker 1: much for thou shalt not kill.
Speaker 4: No, so much for that.
Speaker 1: Thanks Harry's Jesus Christ.
Speaker 6: And if you're ever a sponsor of this podcast, you
Speaker 6: can see yourself out. You get a call all the
Speaker 6: investors have dropped.
Speaker 3: Your product.
Speaker 4: Random, what are you doing?
Speaker 2: You're losing billions billions. I tell you, I'm trying to
Speaker 2: think if there's any laws I particularly dislike or.
Speaker 6: Like no shirt, no shoes, no service. That's insane, that's insane. Yeah,
Speaker 6: that's a flaw.
Speaker 1: This is interesting what you just said, because that is
Speaker 1: technically Okay, that is technically a rule. It's not in
Speaker 1: the constitution. However, the way that it's it's it's you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like, I just.
Speaker 2: Like Spike, actually did not know that until right now.
Speaker 4: I was like, that's in the constitution. That's the fifty
Speaker 4: of the men.
Speaker 1: But I think the way that it's portrayed is making
Speaker 1: it hold much more. Listen, a sign that says live, laugh,
Speaker 1: love is just as legally binding as a sign that
Speaker 1: says no shirt, no shoes, no service. But somehow the
Speaker 1: ladder has the gravity of law whereas the former doesn't.
Speaker 1: You know why, because it's sexism, because the former is
Speaker 1: more feminine and the ladder is more masculine.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's the font difference.
Speaker 5: What about the signs that are like in this house,
Speaker 5: we believe are those as binding if you go into
Speaker 5: one of those houses and.
Speaker 4: Like science is real within our girls, I have.
Speaker 1: An answer for that. I think what that is doing
Speaker 1: is appropriating the sort of rules that you guys were
Speaker 1: describing as queer. It's like it's like a straight couple
Speaker 1: saw a documentary about communes in the seventies and then
Speaker 1: made that as an homage, you know what to rules.
Speaker 6: It's the gray area of allyship where you have straight
Speaker 6: allies and you have very desiring of assimilation gay people.
Speaker 6: Like it's like the Ruth Konda gay people who put
Speaker 6: those signs on their lawn because they want to take
Speaker 6: rules out of our like gay subculture and make them
Speaker 6: towards laws in me oh like hetero palpable, Like those
Speaker 6: lawn signs are being like because like we we all
Speaker 6: know that like love.
Speaker 1: Love, that science real.
Speaker 6: I don't need to put that on my lawn like
Speaker 6: a Trump sign to like make that an equal statement.
Speaker 3: Like I think it's also.
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, that's smart.
Speaker 3: I think it's those very nervous liberals that like watch
Speaker 3: like an Inconvenient Truth and like live in Portland, Oregon
Speaker 3: and like adopted a dog in like Twinkie or something
Speaker 3: and you're like really stressed that all the time.
Speaker 4: Exactly, that's a byte record and.
Speaker 3: Like have to wear a diaper all the time.
Speaker 5: But it's like you're putting that sign in your lawn
Speaker 5: because you don't want your house to get looted when
Speaker 5: the grid comes down. I think it's also kind of
Speaker 5: security measure.
Speaker 4: When you're gonna loot, you look for that sign.
Speaker 3: And well I wouldn't because those houses looting also should
Speaker 3: be legal, another fucking botch law. It's like that is
Speaker 3: a flop. I would never loot.
Speaker 5: From the Liberal house because they don't even have any
Speaker 5: good ship. They just have the dice and that talks
Speaker 5: to you and like a rumba that they both tried
Speaker 5: to have sex.
Speaker 4: They have.
Speaker 1: They do have a vite.
Speaker 3: Like I guess I would loot the Scobie mother, but
Speaker 3: like at that point, if it's like full apocket, it's
Speaker 3: like what am I going to do with that?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I feel like I feel like I know Portland
Speaker 6: less than you, So I'm like deferring to you.
Speaker 1: I'm looting framed museum posters.
Speaker 2: Yeah, beautiful.
Speaker 5: Well then I guess like, well, what's what's what's the
Speaker 5: Portland equivalent in New York, like Clinton Hill.
Speaker 3: It's like I would definitely.
Speaker 6: Lose, That's what I'm saying. And they would have that
Speaker 6: lawn sign so I'd be like, I'm going in there.
Speaker 3: No, I'm going in.
Speaker 4: They would.
Speaker 1: They would have many beautiful wide legged canvas pants.
Speaker 2: I mean the vinyl collections I better to die for.
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm getting a paper weight that looks like a
Speaker 3: nipple and.
Speaker 4: It's randomly ten thousand dollars.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would.
Speaker 1: Yeah, blanket, a blanket that has boobs that are all
Speaker 1: different shapes and sizes to symbolize and clothes.
Speaker 6: If I never see one of those again, if I
Speaker 6: never see a tote with every kind of tit that
Speaker 6: could exist, it will be amazing because because the thing,
Speaker 6: the thing, the thing with that gets kits are never
Speaker 6: on there, so it's not true. The thing with like
Speaker 6: millennial body positivity art is that it can only make
Speaker 6: you feel worse about yourself because it's like this really hideous,
Speaker 6: illustrative style where like everyone just looks like they're like
Speaker 6: on their way to get their HPV vaccine. Like it's
Speaker 6: so ugly and liked.
Speaker 5: It's like, I don't understand why you want to How
Speaker 5: can you make people feel better about themselves when you
Speaker 5: make when when you like de sexualize them, It's like
Speaker 5: sex is what being sexy is, what makes you feel
Speaker 5: good about yourself.
Speaker 3: Not looking like you are like it's weird flattening.
Speaker 1: Here's what millennial inclusivity boils down to this statement, you
Speaker 1: are beautiful even if you're ugly, Like that is what
Speaker 1: you are being. Wait, so am I ugly? It's like, yes,
Speaker 1: you are, and that's okay, Like wait, no, but I
Speaker 1: thought I was fine. You're beautiful even though you're ugly.
Speaker 4: It's like, no, shit, Actually.
Speaker 3: It's like you are beautiful even though like one of
Speaker 3: your boobs looks like a dog ear and the other
Speaker 3: one got like blown off by a shotgun. It's like,
Speaker 3: you're so beautiful.
Speaker 1: It's like what.
Speaker 6: It's the same way where they like reduce it's very
Speaker 6: laws to be like, okay, you can put tits on
Speaker 6: a toe bag if they're all two dimensional line drawings.
Speaker 6: It's like you can do a volva if it's parentheses
Speaker 6: with an apostrophe in it, to like illustrate that we're
Speaker 6: all like unique and different. It's like you're actually homogenizing
Speaker 6: it in this way. That's very like Oscar Healthcare City Bike.
Speaker 1: You're deuroticizing it and you're actually further stigmatizing real genitals.
Speaker 6: Yeah, which, my shit looks like I went through a
Speaker 6: wood chipper. And that's why ugly is beautiful.
Speaker 5: Frankly, I am ready for the penis version of the
Speaker 5: canvas toe bag. Yeah, it's like I am ready, And
Speaker 5: it's just like the bunch of use and like some
Speaker 5: grape nuts, like when's when's that?
Speaker 6: The version that is acceptable is like fruit that's kind
Speaker 6: of phallic. It's like, no, we're not doing that, Like
Speaker 6: I need the like ratfink or crumb SpongeBob zoom in
Speaker 6: Ren and ste.
Speaker 1: Medical medical love it. A grid of medical photographs. Get this,
Speaker 1: a set of coasters. Each of them has a different
Speaker 1: medical photograph of a misshapen penis. Yeah, and that is
Speaker 1: literally sold at a Clinton Hill pottery store.
Speaker 4: Yes, and each each just want the degrees that it's curved.
Speaker 1: Yeah what if you just want no?
Speaker 5: But see the fact that that's the thing. See, that's
Speaker 5: where it's hard because Sam was like, I want that.
Speaker 5: And that's why gay guys are so high vibrational and
Speaker 5: smart is because I could be in like a Clinton
Speaker 5: Hill pottery barn buying like ninety nine dollars like Sheep's
Speaker 5: milk yogurt, and then like I also want a pillow.
Speaker 5: That's a pillow, and then like I also want to
Speaker 5: buy the coaster of like a micro penis with like
Speaker 5: a sunburn on it. But then gay guys are like
Speaker 5: that's hot, and that's why it's that's why it's brilliant.
Speaker 5: It's like unfortunately, like straight women need to look at
Speaker 5: whatever their bodies are and be.
Speaker 3: Like that's hot.
Speaker 5: It's like all bodies are hot because having a body
Speaker 5: is hot.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but they don't want it to even be hot
Speaker 4: on the toe bag with all the tits. It's like they.
Speaker 6: Want it to be like the law is like you
Speaker 6: must accept this, like we've gone underneath like censorship, Like
Speaker 6: what would be censored which is actually something hot? Like
Speaker 6: if it was like if I was walking around the
Speaker 6: tope bag with a full blue waffle on it, like
Speaker 6: that would be hot and that would be any listener
Speaker 6: of this podcast. But like if because it's the little
Speaker 6: drawings that's law abiding and that's straight. Yeah, Like I'm
Speaker 6: gonna talk about a gift that I just got, honey,
Speaker 6: which is an amazing calendar.
Speaker 2: Honey, I was gonna ask you about this calendar. Is
Speaker 2: this the beef calendar?
Speaker 6: No, it's the cult calendar and it's from the year
Speaker 6: nineteen eighty six because it has the same dates as
Speaker 6: twenty twenty five. Ohazing, smart and he can use the calendar.
Speaker 3: But it has and I've been using the calendar.
Speaker 1: Wait, oh, I.
Speaker 6: Hopeful each each picture is like an amazing It's like
Speaker 6: a you know, like a guy like just fully spreading
Speaker 6: in chaps and it's awesome.
Speaker 3: It's it's really gooc forward.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 4: But that's not what could be on a toe bag.
Speaker 1: You can never put that.
Speaker 5: I need a toe back that's like good, you know,
Speaker 5: six inch uncut. But the penis has been run over
Speaker 5: by a car, you know, I want.
Speaker 3: Like tire marks on that ship and stimpy that entire.
Speaker 4: The Coba girl who takes pictures of roadkill freak out.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, that's right.
Speaker 4: She thinks it's punching the Copper girl.
Speaker 1: Copper Girl thinks she's all.
Speaker 6: In the penis runovers truck and she's like, actually, I'm
Speaker 6: I'm not by I'm straight.
Speaker 1: Yes, She's literally like I'm going to church this and
Speaker 1: while it lasted, but at twenty three, my period is over.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my apartment, my my decor is slowly, slowly turning
Speaker 2: exclusively into like misshapen dicks. Like that's photo realists.
Speaker 3: Give it a Cronenberg up in your like full fallol plastics.
Speaker 2: I love it. I can't get enough of this stuff
Speaker 2: because I my calendar. I got a calendar with also
Speaker 2: like uh like you know, burly men spreading it. That's
Speaker 2: really similar to the one that you have, honey. I love.
Speaker 1: And that's what needs to be done. It's like you
Speaker 1: have to take millennial sort of mid like twenty tens
Speaker 1: millennial host Obama inclusivity and give it a Cronenbergian twist,
Speaker 1: Like I want Cronenberg to do a reno of every
Speaker 1: candle and pottery store in Brooklyn and silver Lake, and
Speaker 1: then we can elect someone in four years that can
Speaker 1: you know, potentially pass universal health care.
Speaker 2: That the path towards it starts with one.
Speaker 6: When it's like all the like candles that are shaped
Speaker 6: like an ass actually like pouring like rancid diary.
Speaker 1: Literally just out of the hole.
Speaker 4: Yeah that's perfect.
Speaker 5: But it's like, I know, it's funny thinking about like
Speaker 5: post Obama, I feel like I'm doing a George impression
Speaker 5: when I'm like, it's actually funny when you think of
Speaker 5: I'm like, yeah, rather.
Speaker 1: Than telling a joke, it's just being like, it's actually funny.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm Monsterdio lab, I'm talking like George.
Speaker 5: Well, it's actually funny when you think of like, well,
Speaker 5: then like what is the post Trump Biden art? But
Speaker 5: then also what is like Trump art, which I guess
Speaker 5: is just a I.
Speaker 1: N F T. Trump?
Speaker 5: And if Trump art is like Elon and Trump are
Speaker 5: both like nine out tall sumo wrestlers, and they're and
Speaker 5: and and they're both like taking a bite out of
Speaker 5: the Eiffel Towers.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's also literally like clips of Theovon's podcast, like
Speaker 1: that is art. That is Trump era art. That is
Speaker 1: an Instagram reel of Theovon in conversation with Tucker Carlson.
Speaker 1: I actually saw video recently where Tucker Carlson says the
Speaker 1: word nonpartisan, and then Theovan goes, what do you even
Speaker 1: mean by that? And then Tucker Carlson is like trying
Speaker 1: to describe it in context, but then it becomes clear
Speaker 1: quickly that Theovon just does not know the word nonpartisan
Speaker 1: and he's like yeah, but like what does it mean?
Speaker 1: And so then it just becomes this thing where Tucker
Speaker 1: Carlson is explaining literally what the word partisan means to theovon.
Speaker 1: That's Trump era art.
Speaker 2: That's Trump era art. I've seen this clip. It's rough.
Speaker 6: The AI aspect of Trump era art is also like
Speaker 6: being able to make those videos where it's like Obama
Speaker 6: is dancing and then turning into Shakira and becoming Jennifer.
Speaker 4: And like that's that's like what we have now.
Speaker 6: And I think that the Obama era art was also
Speaker 6: pop art, Like I think it was very like Obama
Speaker 6: like Picture the Hope. Yeah, that was that's pop art,
Speaker 6: and like that's what we had. And then the Joe
Speaker 6: Biden thing is kind of like retirement home paintings, like
Speaker 6: just like faded dust collecting on the wall, like with
Speaker 6: like you know, like dry paper whispering in the wind.
Speaker 4: And now we're in this full like like as Honey.
Speaker 6: Likes to say, Deep Fried AI era, where like it's
Speaker 6: a repost of a repost so that the quality is
Speaker 6: going down and it's like people transforming.
Speaker 5: And it's also those videos where it's like a split
Speaker 5: screen and like one half of the video is like
Speaker 5: hand standing a table or like.
Speaker 6: Writing a video, and it's like an AI boy was
Speaker 6: like when the girl checked her phone there was a
Speaker 6: text message.
Speaker 4: And she was in the car going fast to the
Speaker 4: grocery store.
Speaker 6: It said come home baby, and then there's just like
Speaker 6: someone cutting cucumber really fast.
Speaker 2: Actually, I can't stop thinking about I saw something and
Speaker 2: I can't tell what to think about it. Where it's
Speaker 2: like people are you know, there are now like AI
Speaker 2: accounts and they're like and like people like Twitter and
Speaker 2: Meta and are like making AI accounts to engage more
Speaker 2: with real accounts. But it's like becoming this thing where
Speaker 2: it's eventually just going to be a accounts interacting with
Speaker 2: each other and it's just going to be like mostly fake.
Speaker 2: Like what do we do with that?
Speaker 4: I mean they're probably gonna have a podcast.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean literally accounts.
Speaker 3: It's gonna be like we have to have sex, like
Speaker 3: that's what you do. It's like because AI, there's one
Speaker 3: thing that we can do that they can't do, is
Speaker 3: have sex. We just have to make sure that we're
Speaker 3: having sex with.
Speaker 4: Each other and not with AI, because that that is
Speaker 4: don't do that.
Speaker 6: I don't do that you guys are that's a rule.
Speaker 3: That's a rule, a recommendation, rules, a recommendation.
Speaker 1: That's all there, we go, So you are. So it
Speaker 1: used to be that sex positivity was a response to
Speaker 1: like Christian like puranism. Yeah, but now sex positivity is
Speaker 1: vital as a response to AI hegemony. Absolutely and like
Speaker 1: techno or techno dystopian fascism.
Speaker 6: No algorithm robot could create something that could fully penetrate
Speaker 6: my complete destroyed situation there that is only created by God,
Speaker 6: and in such a way that it's like, it's like
Speaker 6: the Goddess of creative creation and destruction at once are
Speaker 6: my genital and nothing, no amount of If you had
Speaker 6: a computer work for eighty six billion years, it could
Speaker 6: not come up with the thing to fit inside there.
Speaker 6: And that's what's beautiful about human to human sex and sexuality.
Speaker 2: That's true. I love that. Okay, back to laws. I
Speaker 2: have a question.
Speaker 4: I was just I was just talking about laws.
Speaker 1: But okay, okay, yeah, okay, back back to the topic.
Speaker 2: Back to the okay, back to the real topic. Uh, okay,
Speaker 2: police or lawyers? Which one is straighter?
Speaker 1: Oh, this is a question.
Speaker 6: It's hard because there's no gay fetish dress up as lawyers.
Speaker 4: But okay, so you can't like fetishize like.
Speaker 5: You could fetishize like French lawyers like that way fall
Speaker 5: the wigs and like the little dress you could fetish
Speaker 5: eye that that does.
Speaker 1: There's my instinct is to say lawyers are straighter, and
Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure out why. Here's why I think, Yes, well,
Speaker 1: I think is lawyers suit bland, I'll fit, you know.
Speaker 6: But there's people who go to the courtroom like looking,
Speaker 6: that's true, but then they're thinking joker represented himself.
Speaker 1: Arguing whatever police you know, say what you want about
Speaker 1: the politics of policing. They they are wearing sort of campy,
Speaker 1: draggy costumes.
Speaker 4: That's why it gets towards being like yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like it's it's it's fetish where and and also frankly,
Speaker 1: so often you know when they are in repose, they're
Speaker 1: literally like playing Candy Crush on their phone and there's
Speaker 1: something actually very sort of like Barista who is being
Speaker 1: rude to the customers.
Speaker 2: About no that's gurly coded for sure.
Speaker 6: I feel though, like because they have to uphold the law,
Speaker 6: they're straighter, and then lawyers are more gay because they're
Speaker 6: like fighting and tweaking and going in and.
Speaker 1: I see that's true.
Speaker 2: There's some creativity.
Speaker 5: So it's like the fruit ninja of you know, off
Speaker 5: time of being a cop is straight because there just
Speaker 5: is this like there just is it this like ghost
Speaker 5: like drooling kind of like dunce quality to police officers
Speaker 5: where they're like all it's kind of like slap jawed
Speaker 5: and like slow, and there's.
Speaker 3: Just like that to me is straight. But like when
Speaker 3: I think of a lawyer, I think about all my
Speaker 3: gay lawyer friends who like our gay lawyers had to
Speaker 3: go to gay lawyer school, you know.
Speaker 4: And they're like helping us be like be allowed to steal.
Speaker 1: Basically totally yeah, gay totally that there is such a
Speaker 1: rich tradition of gay lawyers, right, that's a great I
Speaker 1: mean the A c l U is basically just like
Speaker 1: like a food co.
Speaker 4: Op saying may I approach the bench? Like that's gay.
Speaker 2: So lawyer dumb is sort of like wizards.
Speaker 1: It's behind your back.
Speaker 2: So lawyers are kind of like wizards and that they
Speaker 2: have power but it's good or bad and they have
Speaker 2: to go to lawyer school and solve crime.
Speaker 6: So like an owl kind of comes to their window, right, right.
Speaker 1: A lawyers are Gryffindor and cops are Slytherin.
Speaker 4: Cops are Baltimore. If we're gonna.
Speaker 1: Cops for Baltimore, cops are Buggles. I'm sorry, I can't.
Speaker 4: I'm really mad that I just said cops are Baltimore, and.
Speaker 2: You know what, I.
Speaker 1: Was like, I'm not going to bring it up again.
Speaker 1: But then you said owl and I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I guess I have permission, Sam, And I'm.
Speaker 6: Being Sam right now podcast by saying Sam started.
Speaker 3: It, well, I think courtroom dramas are also gay, and
Speaker 3: so that's lawyer and whereas I think procedurals are straight
Speaker 3: straight Yeah, I agree, are like.
Speaker 1: Great courtroom dramas are gay.
Speaker 6: Courtroom dramas like Judge Judy presiding over like a fight
Speaker 6: that's literally fake, that's like played up for drama, And
Speaker 6: procedurals are like somebody really needing to protect their dogs.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and there's a way in which with the procedural
Speaker 1: the law prevails, whereas with the courtroom drama it's more
Speaker 1: like a sort of family play. It's august Osage County.
Speaker 1: There are people yelling of like you're not. There's not
Speaker 1: a clearly just audience. So it's literally it's literally theater.
Speaker 1: It's a black box theater, and they're doing an all
Speaker 1: and all women and femmes version of King lear.
Speaker 2: Well in that moment when the evidence drops, like and
Speaker 2: you like reveal a nasty photo of like the scene
Speaker 2: and you're.
Speaker 3: Like, oh exhibit A, yes, God, I would kill for
Speaker 3: that moment.
Speaker 5: And there's so many Ryan Murphy, you know, like crime,
Speaker 5: it's like, you know crime is you know, b gay
Speaker 5: do crime? Obviously throw up and cry, but you know
Speaker 5: crime is also pretty gay.
Speaker 1: Okay, wait, b gay do crimes? Or throw up and cry?
Speaker 3: Yeah, throw up and do crime.
Speaker 6: Oh and vomit like vomit artist Lady Gaga on stage
Speaker 6: during Swine like vomit as crime love.
Speaker 3: But then Law and Order s VU is straight.
Speaker 1: It's straight totally. People are desperate to make it gay.
Speaker 1: They're like it's like.
Speaker 4: It's like she just is like she's like tough. It
Speaker 4: doesn't make yes like she's not.
Speaker 3: She's not.
Speaker 4: She's just like a tough woman.
Speaker 3: Christopher Maloney is kind of straggedy though.
Speaker 1: You know that as well. Chris Maloney and Oz you
Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about, Yes.
Speaker 2: What it's like it's like Stanley.
Speaker 3: He's almost Stanley Chucci levels sing it. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's like in the calendar basically.
Speaker 1: Like Chris. Chris Maloney's biggest dream is to just show
Speaker 1: full cock and and he is the horniest motherfucker out there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and he's like an exhibition. It's like he wants to
Speaker 1: show up to your house with like a burbery.
Speaker 6: He wants to be like somebody like he wants to
Speaker 6: be like I'm here to investigate a crime, dress as
Speaker 6: a policeman and then take it off because he's actually
Speaker 6: a stress.
Speaker 2: Literally, Yeah, it would be amazing.
Speaker 3: He's in the writer's room, like, so, and what season
Speaker 3: do I show Hawk? When am I able to Finally.
Speaker 6: Maybe there's a I'm tied to a chair and they
Speaker 6: need to expose Hog to like blackmail me, like.
Speaker 1: Simon, maybe electricute my nipples. But in a way that's
Speaker 1: pro justice. Yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: And Iced Tea is not having it, No, no, he
Speaker 3: does not having it. He's like cut the funny business.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm here to work, Tea and that's against the law.
Speaker 1: Is such a beautiful American success story to me, Like
Speaker 1: every time I see him, I'm so happy. I'm like
Speaker 1: you really you did it like you're.
Speaker 3: On you know my relationship with him? Right?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 4: No, and he's like tweeting it's like amazing.
Speaker 1: And he has that hot wife who he's so well yeah,
Speaker 1: and a daughter whose age just stayed the same for
Speaker 1: like five or seven years. Really perfect.
Speaker 5: So my relationship with Iced Tea is that is that
Speaker 5: I was on one episode of his now canceled court
Speaker 5: room reality television show The Mediator.
Speaker 2: What why what were you doing there?
Speaker 3: I was suing my friend?
Speaker 2: Was it real?
Speaker 3: It was exaggerated?
Speaker 1: Sorry, all this talk of laws and rules, you have
Speaker 1: not revealed that you were in a court room judge
Speaker 1: Judy style show with Ice teare presumably queer athology is friend?
Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, and it I don't know. I had like
Speaker 5: a like a what did you say?
Speaker 4: It was full subterfuge, which makes it even more gay.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 5: I had someone send me the Craigslist and I was like,
Speaker 5: you should do this because it seems funny, and I
Speaker 5: was like, okay, So me and my friend just kind
Speaker 5: of like concocted we have like a real conflict that
Speaker 5: we exaggerated for the show, and then we've all met
Speaker 5: on Skype during COVID and he is an ilegal.
Speaker 3: Judge, so but he can be a mediator. So he
Speaker 3: was able to kind of like preside over the conflict
Speaker 3: and give us some hips. And the conclusion that he
Speaker 3: came to is that my friend was just in love
Speaker 3: with me and that's why her dog shat in my room.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, sounds pretty accurate.
Speaker 2: Was he right?
Speaker 3: Yeah? He is never wrong whatever he says. I just
Speaker 3: allowed to.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: Okay, how I feel like we're we're in final thoughts mode,
Speaker 1: final thoughts about laws, rules and the sexuality thereof.
Speaker 3: Laws.
Speaker 4: Laws off my terrifying, terrifying genital.
Speaker 1: Actually that's a great sign. Laws off my terrifying, terrifying genitalia.
Speaker 4: And like I'm but I'm pro rules, Like let's talk.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do want to say no running in the pool,
Speaker 2: like you're gonna slip and you're gonna fall, you're gonna.
Speaker 4: Hurt yourself, but there's no law against it.
Speaker 1: So yeah. And also don't go don't go in the
Speaker 1: pool if you have diarrhea.
Speaker 6: Yeah, again that's that's a fuck around and find out
Speaker 6: and when you enter into those spaces, there's like an
Speaker 6: implicit CONSENTDA, Like these are pool rules. They're not laws, Like,
Speaker 6: no one's coming to like haul you away.
Speaker 2: They will blow that little whistle. Yeah, there will be
Speaker 2: some public shaming, but blow the whistle.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: My final thought is no laws, just the bumper stickers
Speaker 3: that say grass gas or ass nobody rides free.
Speaker 1: Love that period, Yeah, love that all right.
Speaker 3: That's my constitution.
Speaker 2: Well, also, before we go and before we do our
Speaker 2: final segment, you are both you're going on tour. Please
Speaker 2: oh yeah, tell everyone where you are going? Yes, please?
Speaker 1: Well, and when.
Speaker 6: Going to Chicago on January seventeenth, we're going to the
Speaker 6: City on Fire on which is LA on the nineteenth
Speaker 6: if and we're probably we'll see what happens. And then
Speaker 6: we're going to San Francisco on the twenty fourth or
Speaker 6: sketch Fest.
Speaker 4: Am I forgetting?
Speaker 3: Oh it's everything. Oh we had the kickoff show on
Speaker 3: the fifteenth.
Speaker 6: I come on everybody late show because the first show
Speaker 6: sold out? So get when is this going to come in?
Speaker 1: It's coming out on Tuesday.
Speaker 6: Perfect, Okay, So preparing this, buy tickets to our show
Speaker 6: tomorrow in New York City, And if you're anywhere else,
Speaker 6: break some laws.
Speaker 1: And tickets can be found in Lincoln by great the
Speaker 1: dice situation, and we will there's going to be some tagging.
Speaker 1: You're going to be able to find that Lincoln bio folks.
Speaker 4: You will, folks.
Speaker 6: Just break one law today, Yeah, break I encourage one.
Speaker 4: Write about it, like, write about it in a letter.
Speaker 1: We need to get all show up to Spike on
Speaker 1: Honey Show without a ticket and then beat up the guy,
Speaker 1: the guy at the door and just walk in.
Speaker 5: Yeah different, definitely, Well ticket ticket buying is more of.
Speaker 1: A rule than a law.
Speaker 4: But yeah, that's a rule.
Speaker 1: That's true.
Speaker 4: That's true because there's always list.
Speaker 1: But totally wow, Okay, incredible, let's do it. Our final
Speaker 1: segment is called shout outs, and in this segment we
Speaker 1: pay homage to the classic straight tradition, straight oral tradition,
Speaker 1: even of the radio shout out. You're on Z one hundred,
Speaker 1: you're on t L shouting out something that you just
Speaker 1: cannot get enough of, and uh as this tradition, we
Speaker 1: make them up on the spot. Sam, do you have one?
Speaker 2: I actually do have one.
Speaker 1: Go for it.
Speaker 2: What's up freaks, losers and sexual perverts around the globe.
Speaker 2: I want to give a huge shout out to George
Speaker 2: Michael's father, Figure.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I love this song and I saw Baby Girl much
Speaker 2: like many of my peers in the LGBTQ plus community.
Speaker 2: And while I thought it was not very good shout
Speaker 2: out to the film I did, it did remind me
Speaker 2: that Father Figure by George Michael. It's a really good
Speaker 2: song and I can't stop listening to it. It's always
Speaker 2: stuck in my and it's that thing of like I
Speaker 2: know that people have been like, actually, like George Michael
Speaker 2: is actually really really good, and I've been like yeay, yeah, whatever,
Speaker 2: and now I'm like, damn, this shit hits. It's sort
Speaker 2: of like not to be a bitch, not to pit
Speaker 2: gay men against each other, but it's kind of choice
Speaker 2: of I'm down dead in a ditch. There's something about
Speaker 2: like like where it's like, oh, he's been like nasty
Speaker 2: and horny forever. We're treating like gay pop like it's
Speaker 2: a whole new thing, and it's like, no, sweetie, it's
Speaker 2: been happening forever. And I'm finding it so comforting. I'm
Speaker 2: finding it so catchy and then finding it so fun
Speaker 2: and it makes me feel like it's time to look
Speaker 2: back and experience new past. Shout out George Michael. Shout
Speaker 2: out a father figure. Put my tiny hand in yours, daddy,
Speaker 2: xoxo say it.
Speaker 1: Who Okay, I can go, I'll do. I'll do a
Speaker 1: movie one too. We're in letterbox mode today. Okay, folks,
Speaker 1: I want to give a shout out to the actor
Speaker 1: Channing Tatum. You know, he's easy to overlook because you're
Speaker 1: sort of like, oh right, you like used to be
Speaker 1: a stripper and magic Mike, and you're sort of a meathead.
Speaker 1: I think he's one of the most interesting actors in
Speaker 1: Hollywood right now. I recently watched Logan Lucky, which I
Speaker 1: hadn't seen before, absolutely stunning performance. I watched the Zoe
Speaker 1: Kravitz film Blink twice. Terrible movie, great work from Channing.
Speaker 1: I think he has such a as he's aged, he's
Speaker 1: agent to this very fascinating look that is like meatthead,
Speaker 1: meats like just like a neck, that is a person,
Speaker 1: and he is so he's very much like a character
Speaker 1: actor trapped in a leading man's body, trapped in a
Speaker 1: plumber's body. And I think there's a lot of talk
Speaker 1: about like Hollywood doesn't have interesting faces anymore. And I
Speaker 1: feel like people talk about Adrian Brody being someone who
Speaker 1: has an interesting face. And it's like, you don't have
Speaker 1: to be skinny like Adrian Burder to have an interesting face.
Speaker 1: You can be sort of meathead looking like Channing Tatum
Speaker 1: and have an interesting face. And so I just think
Speaker 1: we need to do a little more with him. And
Speaker 1: I'm very with this work. I think he's so talented,
Speaker 1: and I am gonna name my son Channing in his honor.
Speaker 1: Shout out to Channing Tatum.
Speaker 2: George, I have to did you see Deadpool and Wolverine? No,
Speaker 2: because Channing Tatum gives a comedic performance that is genuinely
Speaker 2: so funny in such a subtle, weird way where you're like, damn,
Speaker 2: he's really got it.
Speaker 1: He is one of our great geniuses.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's one of our most genius geniuses. Okay, Spike
Speaker 2: or Honey. If I don't, I'm not gonna say who
Speaker 2: should go first? Design amongst yourselves.
Speaker 3: I'll go first, Okay. Shout out to Ood. Shout out
Speaker 3: to Ood.
Speaker 5: The fragrance notes, Oh, oh Ud, I've been, you know,
Speaker 5: developing my signature scent. I've been walking through the journey
Speaker 5: of how I want to hit people's noses when I
Speaker 5: enter a room.
Speaker 3: So out out to Ud because it's masculine. It kind
Speaker 3: of smells like poop.
Speaker 5: It's kind of awesome to small a little fecal when
Speaker 5: you realize that there's actually an entire world of dominance,
Speaker 5: power and magic that can be available to you if
Speaker 5: you remind people of anal sex anytime you kind of
Speaker 5: enter into a space with them. That is what empires
Speaker 5: have been built and then crumbled upon. So I think
Speaker 5: it's important to really remember that that is there.
Speaker 3: So shout out to Ude and smiling a little bit
Speaker 3: like woody poop.
Speaker 1: Whoa, that's wait, this is genius. And I also want
Speaker 1: to say I've actually shouted out this on the podcast
Speaker 1: before a bit. So my friend and past guests of
Speaker 1: the podcast, Tammy Tackle Mariam once wrote she's a food
Speaker 1: writer and she once wrote a piece about which wine
Speaker 1: to pair with eating ass, and she described the taste
Speaker 1: of ass as gamey, which I had never considered before
Speaker 1: and is so obvious. And since then I have been like,
Speaker 1: this is such a gastronomical experience, and your absfinite that like,
Speaker 1: we can re eroticize facality, we just have to try.
Speaker 3: And I also think that if we want.
Speaker 1: To that sicks so true. What what? What?
Speaker 6: There was sodomy laws because they wanted to take away
Speaker 6: the gamy, the glow of eating ass.
Speaker 5: Yes and to all be good anti fascists. We need
Speaker 5: to make sure that sodomy and being good sodomites are ours,
Speaker 5: that we, you know, define that for ourselves, that it
Speaker 5: isn't just taken by the pederastic lords that haunt us.
Speaker 6: Nobody talks about how like everyone's like sodom and Gomora
Speaker 6: likes whatever. It's like they had amazing art scenes in
Speaker 6: those cities.
Speaker 3: No one talks about that exactly. They were turning up.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, Spike, what's up everybody out there in Tinseltown.
Speaker 6: I want to give a shout out to my birthplace,
Speaker 6: Los Angeles. I know what you are thinking when you
Speaker 6: look at me, that guy's from LA. I people often
Speaker 6: tell me all the time, you don't seem like you're
Speaker 6: from LA.
Speaker 4: What does that mean?
Speaker 6: It means that the popular opinion of someone from LA
Speaker 6: is that they suck. That's not all the way completely true.
Speaker 6: That's only a little true, and it's not true in
Speaker 6: this case. I love Los Angeles. It is one of
Speaker 6: the most iconic places in the world. There is no
Speaker 6: place like it. I love New York, but Los Angeles
Speaker 6: is a cultural epicenter. It made our imaginations what they are,
Speaker 6: and I just love it so much. And the next
Speaker 6: time you think I don't seem like I'm from LA,
Speaker 6: it's because you are saying that I seem Jewish, which
Speaker 6: you equate.
Speaker 4: From with being in New York.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 6: Oh quick, last shout out to Blood Smells good, tastes good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, pop, honey, I can't.
Speaker 4: Believe I'm so upset that we're talking about.
Speaker 1: Also, like graphic design wise, you know they both have
Speaker 1: two o's. You could so easily do it, sort of
Speaker 1: like fun blood and poop logo. That's true.
Speaker 2: Also, Spike, I do think people thinking you're not from
Speaker 2: LA shows like a misunderstand, like people don't know what
Speaker 2: LA is. Yeah I am.
Speaker 4: I'm incredibly haunted.
Speaker 6: I'm incredibly like old and scary, and yet everybody wants
Speaker 6: a piece. People come there thinking there to me think
Speaker 6: they're going to find themselves. They realize just how lost
Speaker 6: they are, and they tremble in my wake. I am
Speaker 6: too powerful for them, and that is exactly why I'm
Speaker 6: like Los Angeles. And I'm also a fun, fun, fun
Speaker 6: surfer boy till my daddy took my t bird away.
Speaker 2: Well see Spike and Honey on tour. And also we're
Speaker 2: going to be in San Francisco on the seventeenth of
Speaker 2: January from Sketch Fest.
Speaker 4: Sam's on the show.
Speaker 2: And I'm on the show in La on the nineteenth.
Speaker 6: Yes, yes, yes, day before the inauguration, day before the audation.
Speaker 2: Damn all right, y'all. Wow, Well, thanks so this has
Speaker 2: been a real treat.
Speaker 5: Thanks so much for having us lovell laws by Bye bye.
Speaker 1: Podcast and now want more. Subscribe to our Patreon for
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Speaker 1: heading to patreon dot com. Slash Stradio Lab.
Speaker 2: And for all our visual earners, free full length video
Speaker 2: episodes are available on our YouTube now Get back to Work.
Speaker 2: Stradia Lab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money
Speaker 2: Players Network and iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 1: Created and hosted by George Severs and Sam Taggart.
Speaker 2: Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sony and Olivia Aguilar.
Speaker 1: Co produced by by Wang, edited.
Speaker 2: And engineered by Adam Avalos.
Speaker 1: Artwork by Michael Failes and Matt Grubg.
Speaker 2: Theme music by Ben Kling