1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:00,960 Speaker 1: Hill. 2 00:00:01,440 --> 00:00:02,680 Speaker 2: Who is this? 3 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:03,800 Speaker 3: This is pomegranate? 4 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:05,000 Speaker 2: How can I get you today? 5 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:10,360 Speaker 3: Well, I wanted to call in talk about my experience 6 00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:11,680 Speaker 3: of being an Uber driver. 7 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:15,239 Speaker 2: Oh okay, how's that experience treating you? 8 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:19,400 Speaker 3: It's a mixed bag. 9 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:23,640 Speaker 2: Okay, tell us, tell us more. 10 00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:29,960 Speaker 3: Do you want to know the good part of the bag. 11 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: Or the bad part? 12 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:33,680 Speaker 2: I like to start with the bad so that we 13 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:34,680 Speaker 2: can end with the good. 14 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:40,640 Speaker 1: Okay. 15 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:45,120 Speaker 3: Well, Uber doesn't seem to care very much about its 16 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:51,879 Speaker 3: drivers and seems to prioritize the riders, which is like 17 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:57,280 Speaker 3: understandable because obviously riders safety is very important, but like 18 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:02,200 Speaker 3: often we get the short end of the stick, Like 19 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:08,679 Speaker 3: with pay, we usually make about like half of what 20 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:12,680 Speaker 3: the riders pay, sometimes less if we're lucky, maybe more, 21 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:19,480 Speaker 3: which means the riders end up paying like way out 22 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:23,840 Speaker 3: of ass and we don't really get it. And then 23 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 3: so like when you when you're already paying, like when 24 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:30,080 Speaker 3: it's busy forty bucks for a ride, you're not inclined 25 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 3: to tip, which I I like to get it. You know, 26 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,640 Speaker 3: you're paying a lot of money, but it just sucks 27 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 3: on my end because I end up making like fifteen 28 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 3: seventeen bucks. 29 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:42,480 Speaker 2: Out of that you know, right, and that is that 30 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:44,560 Speaker 2: counting your gas too? 31 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:49,560 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, there actually was a fuel surcharge for when 32 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:53,040 Speaker 3: like the fuel prices got all crazy and stuff, but 33 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:58,360 Speaker 3: they just removed that now. But I would honestly bet 34 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:00,919 Speaker 3: money that the riders are still paying saying that extra 35 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 3: like fuel search charge, but it's just like not telling 36 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,680 Speaker 3: them anymore. But we're definitely not getting it. 37 00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:13,959 Speaker 2: And now, so if I get a ride for forty bucks, 38 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:17,040 Speaker 2: you make about twenty or you or fifteen. 39 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:21,120 Speaker 3: Even yeah, fifteen to twenty depending there's like things like 40 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:25,160 Speaker 3: searches if it's busy, and if like the customer tips, 41 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 3: I'll probably make a little more. But that that seems 42 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:31,240 Speaker 3: pretty accurate. Uh. 43 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,560 Speaker 2: Is there a difference between uber and lyft with this 44 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:35,800 Speaker 2: kind of thing? 45 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 3: Uh? It kind of depends on market. I think Uber 46 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,880 Speaker 3: pays a little less because or not Uber. Lyft pays 47 00:02:43,919 --> 00:02:45,520 Speaker 3: a little less because it tends to be a little 48 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:49,360 Speaker 3: cheaper at least where I'm at. But I don't do lyfts, 49 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,360 Speaker 3: so I'm not not too positive. 50 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 2: What are some of the other. 51 00:02:54,600 --> 00:03:03,480 Speaker 3: Cons I spend a lot of time I'm thinking, which 52 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 3: sometimes can be good and sometimes can be bad. Uber 53 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 3: driving led to arguably the worst thing that's happened to me, 54 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:18,240 Speaker 3: which kind of sucks. But it's not really like I 55 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 3: guess Uber Driving's fault. It just is connected in my 56 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,560 Speaker 3: brain now, so I resent it a little bit for it. 57 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:29,920 Speaker 2: You don't have to tell us what it is, but 58 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,359 Speaker 2: if you want to, you can. 59 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:42,120 Speaker 3: Sure. So I was last year engaged and I was 60 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:46,840 Speaker 3: uber driving around and I don't really eat the healthiest, 61 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,840 Speaker 3: so I started to get, you know, the stomach rumbles, 62 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:53,320 Speaker 3: and I was like, you know, I am going to 63 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:57,000 Speaker 3: go home and use the bathroom, go home a little early. 64 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,240 Speaker 3: And I came home and my fiance was in the 65 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:05,240 Speaker 3: bedroom and she like quickly got off her phone when 66 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:09,120 Speaker 3: I came in, and I could immediately tell, like, because 67 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:12,600 Speaker 3: you know, obviously she's my fiance, I kind of know 68 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:16,760 Speaker 3: her face expressions pretty well. She was very like off, 69 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:21,200 Speaker 3: hard and nervous, and I was like, hey, what's uh, 70 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:25,279 Speaker 3: what's up with that? She tried to like, you know, 71 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:29,080 Speaker 3: play it off, and I kind of continued to press on, 72 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:31,719 Speaker 3: you know, because I knew something was up and I 73 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:34,400 Speaker 3: was worried I like caught her cheating on me or something, 74 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,560 Speaker 3: you know, But as it turned out. 75 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:38,839 Speaker 1: She was actually. 76 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:45,480 Speaker 3: On the phone with her sister talking about like basically 77 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:49,359 Speaker 3: a plan of like moving out because her sister lives 78 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:53,240 Speaker 3: a few hours away, so it would have had been 79 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:57,200 Speaker 3: like planned ahead of time and whatever. But so I 80 00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:03,320 Speaker 3: was basically sidewinded by that, which kind of sucked. And 81 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:08,680 Speaker 3: then after we ended up separating, Uber driving was like 82 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:12,520 Speaker 3: the only thing I could do for money because it 83 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:16,279 Speaker 3: was like my primary source of income. But like driving 84 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:21,080 Speaker 3: around in my car after we had like spent a 85 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,400 Speaker 3: lot of time, you know together in it, like I 86 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 3: pretty much drove everywhere with her, it would just be 87 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,520 Speaker 3: like the whole time, that's all I could think about, 88 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:30,760 Speaker 3: you know. 89 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:40,720 Speaker 2: So when you said that Uber led to the worst 90 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 2: thing that ever happened to you, do you in what 91 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:49,839 Speaker 2: way do you see Uber's involvement in this? 92 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:56,279 Speaker 3: I think it was the amount of time that I 93 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,600 Speaker 3: was kind of starting to have to spend doing it, 94 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:02,720 Speaker 3: like being out of the house because normally, like I 95 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 3: would work when she would be at work, but it 96 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:10,000 Speaker 3: kind of switched over when I did, And I don't know, 97 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 3: I think that empty space just kind of like because 98 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:17,240 Speaker 3: we definitely had issues, and I like don't faulter at 99 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:20,640 Speaker 3: all for like ending things you know, like there's no 100 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:24,400 Speaker 3: really fault there, like I can understand it. I would 101 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:27,440 Speaker 3: be remiss to say there's not, Like I guess a 102 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 3: little bit of disappointment there, and just like being engaged 103 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 3: at all. You know, it's just like a very big commitment. 104 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:41,880 Speaker 2: So you feel like you feel like a lot of 105 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:45,560 Speaker 2: the issues that caused her to want to leave are 106 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:48,680 Speaker 2: rooted in the fact that you were always out of 107 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:52,120 Speaker 2: the house and couldn't spend enough time there. 108 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:57,479 Speaker 3: No, absolutely not. Uber is just catching the strays of 109 00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:03,599 Speaker 3: my emotional turmoil and as as a way of coping, 110 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,720 Speaker 3: I just like kind of resent it. And also just 111 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,920 Speaker 3: the amount of time that I spent driving in it, 112 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 3: and I just like didn't think about things. You know, 113 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:18,280 Speaker 3: it is a bit of like a personalized torture chamber. 114 00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:21,800 Speaker 2: Dark. 115 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 3: I know, I didn't mean to get all dreary and depressing. 116 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,800 Speaker 2: With it, but I bet if you, I bet if 117 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 2: you told this story to the people who are riding 118 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:33,600 Speaker 2: with you, you'd get more tips. 119 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:39,600 Speaker 3: I I've thought about it before, but I am always 120 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:42,080 Speaker 3: afraid that I would like to cry and then make 121 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:43,560 Speaker 3: things really uncomfortable. 122 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:47,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, you might get it. Listen, if you drop some 123 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,600 Speaker 2: tears during this story you might get an even fatter tip. 124 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:55,520 Speaker 1: Honestly, that is that is very very true. 125 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,480 Speaker 2: But listen, man, you got your emotional tourmoril, at the 126 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:02,000 Speaker 2: very least use it for financial gains somehow if you 127 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:02,880 Speaker 2: have the ability to. 128 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:08,280 Speaker 3: Hey, that's kind of been my goal most of my life, 129 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:10,960 Speaker 3: is just take advantage of all this bad stuff and 130 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,000 Speaker 3: find a way to financially benefit from it. 131 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:20,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So so you felt as though your car 132 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 2: was like this prison that reminded you of your relationship failing. 133 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:27,520 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Like. 134 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:32,439 Speaker 3: There was a sticker on it, like a pricing sticker 135 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,600 Speaker 3: from the store she worked at when we first started 136 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:37,719 Speaker 3: like hanging out, and she like slapped it on there 137 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:40,000 Speaker 3: when she got in my car. Yeah, and I like 138 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,480 Speaker 3: tried to take it off when we first broke up, 139 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:44,840 Speaker 3: and then I was like unable to finish it. So 140 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:50,440 Speaker 3: it was just like halfway on there is I have 141 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:53,440 Speaker 3: a new car now, so I'm at least no longer 142 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:54,360 Speaker 3: in that car. 143 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,559 Speaker 2: That's what I was going to ask, because if you 144 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 2: got a new car, how much of your decision to 145 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,959 Speaker 2: get a new car was based off of the fact 146 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:03,079 Speaker 2: that your old one reminded you of your ex. 147 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:08,040 Speaker 3: Uh, honestly, not a whole lot. I had to anyways, 148 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:13,240 Speaker 3: because it was like on its way out. Coincidentally at 149 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,360 Speaker 3: the worst time, like her and I were talking about 150 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,400 Speaker 3: getting a new car, and like we went to a 151 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:20,720 Speaker 3: few dealerships and everything that happened, and then I think 152 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:24,960 Speaker 3: two weeks after she left, it like broke down completely. 153 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,280 Speaker 3: And then I it got towed by the cops, even 154 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 3: though it was parked in someone's yard with their permission. 155 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,840 Speaker 3: And then I had to sign it over to the 156 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:39,160 Speaker 3: like toe people that impounded it because I didn't have 157 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:42,360 Speaker 3: the three hundred dollars to get it out. And then 158 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 3: I found out through the people I got my car 159 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,480 Speaker 3: from that they would have paid for it to get 160 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,440 Speaker 3: out because they were taking me like sixteen hundred dollars 161 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:53,319 Speaker 3: for that car. Oh really, I already signed it over, 162 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:54,760 Speaker 3: and I. 163 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:59,160 Speaker 2: Was just like, you're just getting sucked after fucked after fucked. 164 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:02,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, pretty much. 165 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:11,160 Speaker 2: Okay, So listen, Pomegranate, tell me you got a new car. 166 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:16,120 Speaker 2: You're on on the road. You kind of came into 167 00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:19,840 Speaker 2: this and you told the call screener. You didn't even 168 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,520 Speaker 2: mention anything negative. Actually, when you talk to the call screener, 169 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:25,120 Speaker 2: apparently it says that you wanted to discuss like a 170 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:28,880 Speaker 2: lot of the positive things. So now that we've covered 171 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:32,120 Speaker 2: the emotional turmoil, I want to hear the positive. What 172 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,560 Speaker 2: sorts of things have you gained from this experience? 173 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:37,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll give you the positive, but I will be 174 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,400 Speaker 3: honest about that. I did come in here with the 175 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:43,800 Speaker 3: full intention of being positive. But then I smoked a 176 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,280 Speaker 3: little weed before I got on here, and I like 177 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:50,080 Speaker 3: started spiraling a little bit, and I was like, Okay, 178 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:53,000 Speaker 3: well it's not all positive. I can't just lie about it. 179 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,720 Speaker 2: Well, I was going to say, I don't really carry 180 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:58,880 Speaker 2: either way. I just wanted the truth of the experience, 181 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:00,320 Speaker 2: and I'm glad that you came here with that. 182 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure the positive. 183 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:08,120 Speaker 3: Basically, it's just been nice to get to meet a 184 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:12,640 Speaker 3: bunch of people and remember how much that, like a 185 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:15,400 Speaker 3: people can be very similar, Like I feel like I 186 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:18,240 Speaker 3: need a lot of copies of the same exact like archetypes, 187 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:23,480 Speaker 3: and then you get like massive, massive, out of field 188 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:28,800 Speaker 3: like random people that are just extremely unique, and I 189 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:32,000 Speaker 3: feel like I get these interactions that I would never 190 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:32,920 Speaker 3: get otherwise. 191 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:38,000 Speaker 2: You know, Yeah, all right, I have that's a deep 192 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,760 Speaker 2: thing that you're talking about, and it's something that I've 193 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:43,720 Speaker 2: feel like I've gotten a lot of experience in as well, 194 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:48,439 Speaker 2: you know, doing this gecko thing. Tell me from your perspective, 195 00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:51,079 Speaker 2: you say that a lot of people are kind of 196 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:55,160 Speaker 2: copies of each other. What sorts of through lines or 197 00:11:55,200 --> 00:12:00,480 Speaker 2: similarities or archetypes have you noticed? Are are consistent in 198 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:03,040 Speaker 2: your observations? 199 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:09,920 Speaker 3: Where are some consistent archetypes. I do a lot of 200 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:15,640 Speaker 3: driving in a college town, and all of the fashion 201 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:21,760 Speaker 3: students are very very similar in the way that they 202 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:26,000 Speaker 3: get in the car, specifically where they stare at for 203 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:29,559 Speaker 3: the majority of the ride, and how they just generally 204 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:37,800 Speaker 3: like don't talk and avoid talking. I guess that would 205 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:44,160 Speaker 3: be one example. A lot of like older white business 206 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:48,959 Speaker 3: men behave very similarly. I had, I think a week ago, 207 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:54,720 Speaker 3: I was in a more expensive area and I picked 208 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:57,360 Speaker 3: these three guys up from this restaurant and I was 209 00:12:57,480 --> 00:13:00,880 Speaker 3: driving them like forty some minutes back to their hotel, 210 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:04,720 Speaker 3: and they were just talking. 211 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:08,080 Speaker 1: About this like whole world. 212 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:11,480 Speaker 3: Of business that I have zero concept of, just all 213 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:15,599 Speaker 3: these numbers and this guy's a dumb ass if he 214 00:13:15,679 --> 00:13:18,439 Speaker 3: makes this call and they're gonna kill you for that, 215 00:13:18,679 --> 00:13:22,000 Speaker 3: and like how they were like dissect They're having a 216 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:25,439 Speaker 3: meeting at this restaurant. How they were like dissecting everyone's 217 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:29,280 Speaker 3: reactions to everyone, like everything everyone was saying. They're like, 218 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,080 Speaker 3: you know, did you see how he laughed when you 219 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:33,480 Speaker 3: talked about those stats and whether it was capable of 220 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:37,080 Speaker 3: YadA YadA and all. This is just big, scary, big 221 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:40,079 Speaker 3: number of stuff and like millions and millions of dollars. 222 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:43,920 Speaker 3: And I was just staring forward the whole time, and 223 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:47,120 Speaker 3: I got called ma'am like seven times by the guy 224 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,480 Speaker 3: in the back seat, which, like it doesn't bother me. 225 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,720 Speaker 3: You know, I get it. I have very long hair. 226 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:56,079 Speaker 3: It happens often. The part that bothers me is when 227 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:59,600 Speaker 3: they realize that I'm like not and then they're like 228 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:04,440 Speaker 3: really weirdly apologetic about it, and it just it makes 229 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:04,880 Speaker 3: it a thing. 230 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,680 Speaker 2: How do you make like what what is the difference 231 00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:09,880 Speaker 2: between apologetic and weirdly apologetic? 232 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:13,960 Speaker 3: In that scenario, they like they act like they just 233 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:17,080 Speaker 3: shot my kid in front of me, Like by insinuating 234 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:21,320 Speaker 3: that I was a woman, I was like the greatest offense. 235 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:26,360 Speaker 3: Like they just called me a slur basically, you know, sure, 236 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:30,280 Speaker 3: I don't really get it either, but. 237 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:33,400 Speaker 1: Now it happens, and. 238 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:36,240 Speaker 2: Frequently did the business men tip you. 239 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:39,880 Speaker 3: I think like three bucks. 240 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:41,160 Speaker 1: It was not a lot. 241 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:48,520 Speaker 2: Now you said something about like a lot of archetypes, 242 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:50,640 Speaker 2: but then a lot of left field stuff, a lot 243 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:55,720 Speaker 2: of wild sort of sort of characters and uh, non, 244 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:57,920 Speaker 2: you know, things that you wouldn't expect. Tell me, tell 245 00:14:57,960 --> 00:14:58,520 Speaker 2: me one of those. 246 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:04,280 Speaker 3: I want to say, Like a month ago, I got 247 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:09,880 Speaker 3: a like complete car fool of Canadians that had flew 248 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:13,240 Speaker 3: all the way down for a random concert at like 249 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:16,760 Speaker 3: a country dive bar because they'd apparently like seen the 250 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:22,720 Speaker 3: musician before, and like they got in and it was like, 251 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,240 Speaker 3: I don't know if they were trying to just do 252 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:31,000 Speaker 3: like the Canadian cariacture or that's just like how they were. 253 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:35,440 Speaker 3: But that was a very very fun experience. They were 254 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:38,840 Speaker 3: incredibly nice, and they asked for my numbers so I 255 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:43,760 Speaker 3: could pick them up like after the show was done, 256 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:48,960 Speaker 3: and I did, and they were just like completely hammered 257 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:52,520 Speaker 3: and they're incredibly kind, and they made like tons of 258 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,560 Speaker 3: funny jokes, and I don't know, it was just like 259 00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:59,720 Speaker 3: never expected to really be in that situation, you know. 260 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,000 Speaker 2: So wait a minute, they gave you their number to 261 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:07,120 Speaker 2: basically pay you for a ride outside of Uber. 262 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:08,720 Speaker 1: Yeah. 263 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:12,640 Speaker 3: I have the guy's number on my phone still. Yeah. 264 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:13,880 Speaker 2: Oh and I bet you made a lot more money 265 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:15,080 Speaker 2: off of that than you would have if you took 266 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:15,680 Speaker 2: it through Uber. 267 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:17,720 Speaker 1: Oh for sure. 268 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:22,360 Speaker 3: They like they promised that they were gonna tip like 269 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:26,360 Speaker 3: a ton of money, and then I watched them struggle 270 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:29,640 Speaker 3: for like two straight minutes just going through the dollar bills. 271 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:32,120 Speaker 3: Like I don't know if it's just because the currency 272 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,240 Speaker 3: was different or whatever, but he ended up handing me 273 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:39,120 Speaker 3: like eleven ones and he said it was like fifty dollars. 274 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:40,920 Speaker 3: And I couldn't tell if he was just too drunk 275 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,320 Speaker 3: to notice or if he's joking. And I didn't care. 276 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,720 Speaker 3: I just had a great time and I was just 277 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,240 Speaker 3: happy to, like, you know, get them back there. 278 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:52,880 Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure Canadian money is worth less than American money, 279 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:55,120 Speaker 2: so that's actually not even eleven dollars. 280 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:59,080 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I just doesn't it just like look different though? 281 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:01,720 Speaker 3: Do they use bigger numbers, different numbers? 282 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:04,760 Speaker 2: But the thing is, I feel like the the intention 283 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,240 Speaker 2: was there, the kind intention for sure. 284 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:10,000 Speaker 3: Yeah. 285 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:15,000 Speaker 2: So it sounds like you you have a mixed relationship 286 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:19,520 Speaker 2: with life, man, I mean, you're in this position where 287 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:23,000 Speaker 2: you are encountering all these different people and every day 288 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:29,640 Speaker 2: is an anthology of humanity for you across across its 289 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:36,040 Speaker 2: wide spectrum of positivity and negativity. Where does your mind 290 00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:41,119 Speaker 2: stand these days? On average? You know, are you feeling 291 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:44,800 Speaker 2: good about things? Are you feeling good about life? About people? 292 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:53,960 Speaker 3: No? No, I feel pretty poorly about everything. To be 293 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,520 Speaker 3: fully transparent. 294 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,000 Speaker 2: How high are you? 295 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:02,000 Speaker 4: Uh? 296 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,119 Speaker 3: I was kind to hie when it started, but I 297 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:09,480 Speaker 3: can kind of feel myself sobering down, m. 298 00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:15,440 Speaker 2: And you feel like when you're more sober is when 299 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:17,480 Speaker 2: you are feeling better or worse? 300 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:21,040 Speaker 3: Oh worse, absolutely worse. 301 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:27,800 Speaker 2: Okay, so hmm, okay tell me this. Then, if you're 302 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:34,520 Speaker 2: not feeling good about things, do you think there is 303 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:43,800 Speaker 2: anything at all that would make you feel better about things? 304 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:49,040 Speaker 3: I'm not sure. I'm kind of figuring that out right now. 305 00:18:49,119 --> 00:18:52,919 Speaker 3: I feel like my life entering the new year, because 306 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:56,760 Speaker 3: you know, we sign meaning to dates and time and whatnot. 307 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:59,919 Speaker 3: I feel like I'm entering a new reset phase, you know, 308 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:04,800 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, just this new period. And I'm not really 309 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:09,560 Speaker 3: sure what direction I want to go in. Very aimless 310 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:15,040 Speaker 3: and grasping for meaning I think is a good good 311 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:15,680 Speaker 3: way to put it. 312 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:23,119 Speaker 2: M hmmm, does anything currently give you a meaning? 313 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:28,359 Speaker 1: I have a cat. 314 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:33,800 Speaker 3: He's reliant on me. He's a little mischievous man, but 315 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:40,280 Speaker 3: he's very sweet and he's my son. Yeah. I have 316 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:44,639 Speaker 3: like my roommates. They're very very close friend of mine, 317 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:49,040 Speaker 3: friends of mine. It's good to have them here. Uh 318 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:55,720 Speaker 3: made it easier, like not being entirely alone, which is nice. 319 00:19:57,119 --> 00:20:03,680 Speaker 3: Outside of that, not too much. Got to pay off 320 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:05,960 Speaker 3: my car loan. I don't know if that's really meaning, 321 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:09,320 Speaker 3: but it's a fake purpose. 322 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:12,240 Speaker 2: That's a good reason to get out of bed in 323 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:13,399 Speaker 2: the morning. It's something. 324 00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:21,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it's somewhat working. 325 00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:28,760 Speaker 2: I want to say this because you obviously came into 326 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:33,560 Speaker 2: this like you were saying on a negative point, but 327 00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:36,200 Speaker 2: at the very beginning you were like, all right, there's 328 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:39,359 Speaker 2: the pros and there's the cons, there's the yin and 329 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:45,200 Speaker 2: the yang, and you clearly have this ability to recognize 330 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:50,080 Speaker 2: and appreciate humanity when you see it. Do you agree 331 00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:50,440 Speaker 2: with that? 332 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,680 Speaker 1: Yeah? 333 00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,360 Speaker 2: Are you able to do that? Often? 334 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:01,920 Speaker 3: I think to a fault sometime to a fault, how 335 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:06,960 Speaker 3: so to a fault, I think this is gonna there's 336 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:10,280 Speaker 3: no corny way, there's no non corny way to say this, 337 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,000 Speaker 3: But I think I struggle a little bit too much 338 00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:18,600 Speaker 3: with empathy, and like, if I see someone experiencing duress 339 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:22,760 Speaker 3: or pain, I tend to be like experience it pretty 340 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:26,080 Speaker 3: intensely myself, and it'll just kind of like send me 341 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:26,840 Speaker 3: on a spiral. 342 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:32,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I spend I spend a lot. 343 00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:37,320 Speaker 3: Of time looking at like historical events and like current 344 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:38,760 Speaker 3: events stuff in the world. 345 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:41,879 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it. 346 00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:45,640 Speaker 3: Is a horrible cycle of being aware of how horrible 347 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:50,040 Speaker 3: everything can be and usually is. But then you're like 348 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:55,040 Speaker 3: too aware and it feels like impossible to express joy 349 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:58,720 Speaker 3: about everything because you just have like this weight in 350 00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:02,399 Speaker 3: your chest of all the horrors around you, so to speak. 351 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:07,800 Speaker 2: Okay, I have a lot of thoughts about that. But 352 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,640 Speaker 2: first is when you're kind of thinking about the things 353 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:13,920 Speaker 2: that are stressing you out and making you not feel good, 354 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:14,920 Speaker 2: is that a big. 355 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:18,679 Speaker 1: One kind of a right? 356 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:21,520 Speaker 3: My therapist tells me that I tend to focus too 357 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:24,920 Speaker 3: much on the big instead of the small. Okay, I'm 358 00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:28,480 Speaker 3: all being like myself and I instead like like I'll 359 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:31,240 Speaker 3: go into therapy and I'll start talking about something related 360 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:34,960 Speaker 3: to me, but then as Ranson to event not event, 361 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:39,560 Speaker 3: a rant about you know, the police state or whatever 362 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:40,840 Speaker 3: I'm going on at the time. 363 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:45,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, man, your therapist is very much onto something. 364 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:50,960 Speaker 3: Yeah no, she's a she's great. 365 00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:54,240 Speaker 2: Good. Good. Your therapist is very much onto something. If 366 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:58,640 Speaker 2: you just spend every single day in there, here's the thing. 367 00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:02,399 Speaker 2: There will always there is a never ending supply of 368 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:09,320 Speaker 2: horrible terrors to worry about in the world. But the 369 00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:11,560 Speaker 2: best you can look if you're not gonna go out 370 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:16,920 Speaker 2: and like be an activist or a scientist or something 371 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:21,680 Speaker 2: where you contribute in some small part to this larger problem. 372 00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:24,840 Speaker 2: If you're not gonna do that, the best you can 373 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:31,560 Speaker 2: do is take all of this big picture stuff and 374 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:34,639 Speaker 2: throw it out of your mind and focus as hard 375 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:39,280 Speaker 2: as you can on your own corner of the universe. 376 00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:42,199 Speaker 2: I feel like this is what your therapist was getting at. Like, 377 00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:46,600 Speaker 2: you know, dude, your cat, your roommates, the people that 378 00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:48,760 Speaker 2: you meet when you're doing your job. I mean, you're 379 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,280 Speaker 2: in this uber. One of the things you were talking 380 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:53,680 Speaker 2: about is you're in this uber all the time, connecting 381 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,040 Speaker 2: with people and interacting with other people, like you come 382 00:23:56,080 --> 00:24:01,480 Speaker 2: across people every single day. Like, narrow it down to 383 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:06,600 Speaker 2: your own life and go, what's the best I can do? 384 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:12,240 Speaker 2: In my own life, and then all of a sudden, 385 00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:19,560 Speaker 2: this grand, existential, never ending problem of the horrors of 386 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:24,679 Speaker 2: the universe, it turns into something that's more tangible, which is, again, 387 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,119 Speaker 2: how can I be the best I can be in 388 00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:30,400 Speaker 2: my own personal life with the people I come into, 389 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:33,119 Speaker 2: I interact with every day. How can I make this 390 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:37,879 Speaker 2: uber drive the best for this rider by being nice 391 00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:40,359 Speaker 2: to them or interacting with them positively? How can I 392 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:43,000 Speaker 2: do good by my cat? And how can I and 393 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:45,159 Speaker 2: also by the way, not to be so hard on yourself? 394 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:47,320 Speaker 2: How can I do all of this the best I 395 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:51,800 Speaker 2: can do it within my own personal energy levels? Right, 396 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:54,800 Speaker 2: Because sometimes you walk around and you're short and kurt 397 00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:58,439 Speaker 2: with people because you're just because you're just energy is 398 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,600 Speaker 2: short because you are depressed or you got whatever you 399 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:05,840 Speaker 2: got going on. But focusing on how to do the 400 00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:08,720 Speaker 2: best you can with your own sphere is always going 401 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,520 Speaker 2: to be a thousand times better of a strategy than 402 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:15,520 Speaker 2: reading the fucking news and worrying about how to save 403 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:16,879 Speaker 2: all the children and Yemen. 404 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:23,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, that is a great advice, and I've 405 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:28,840 Speaker 3: received similar advice. It's just the putting it into practice 406 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:32,199 Speaker 3: that is the part that I get stuck on sure, 407 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:42,960 Speaker 3: like I, and like I unfortunately am very activists involved. 408 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,560 Speaker 3: I don't know a better word to describe that right now, 409 00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:49,719 Speaker 3: uh huh. Unlike a lot of my social circles, uh 410 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:56,200 Speaker 3: consistently revolve around those things, and like h it's a 411 00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:59,040 Speaker 3: bit hard to escape because it's really one of the 412 00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:01,920 Speaker 3: only facets of my life that are still like standing, 413 00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:04,040 Speaker 3: you know, can. 414 00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:08,560 Speaker 2: Go ahead on, yeah, you go ahead, and then I 415 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:10,639 Speaker 2: have a thing before this. 416 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:13,280 Speaker 3: A lot of my identity outside of that pretty much 417 00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:19,600 Speaker 3: just like focused on my relationship. I was, for lack 418 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:21,080 Speaker 3: of a better term, I was a bit of a 419 00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:21,640 Speaker 3: life guy. 420 00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:22,720 Speaker 2: Uh huh. 421 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:29,600 Speaker 3: And that also has led to a small identity crisis 422 00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:32,240 Speaker 3: of trying to find any sort of other thing. But 423 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:37,600 Speaker 3: once again, I'm focusing on the uh you know, the 424 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:43,520 Speaker 3: the dark, I suppose. But proceed with what you were 425 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:44,000 Speaker 3: going to. 426 00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:46,639 Speaker 2: Say, Well, okay, so I mean even that was a 427 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:48,639 Speaker 2: thing that you said just there you were like I 428 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:52,040 Speaker 2: was a wife guy, and now the thing and this 429 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:55,080 Speaker 2: It can be a relationship, it can be a fucking sport, 430 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,280 Speaker 2: it can be whatever it is these things that you 431 00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:03,360 Speaker 2: identify yourself with so strongly to fuck you because then 432 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,639 Speaker 2: when they disappear and you realize you don't have a 433 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,840 Speaker 2: diversified portfolio upon which to build your identity. You just 434 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,960 Speaker 2: you just get you just get fucked, you know. So 435 00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:19,359 Speaker 2: building that diversified life portfolio, I feel like it's so 436 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:26,479 Speaker 2: crazy important. And I'll say this, man, if you, if 437 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:32,440 Speaker 2: you could just do this one thing, like you ever 438 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,119 Speaker 2: try it for a day, you ever wake up and 439 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:38,080 Speaker 2: you ever just be like, all right today, I'm not 440 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:39,960 Speaker 2: gonna go on Twitter. I'm not gonna read the news. 441 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:43,760 Speaker 2: I'm gonna try as possible as much as I possibly 442 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,639 Speaker 2: can today, if not even for a full day, if 443 00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:52,920 Speaker 2: for a one interaction, you go, I'm gonna treat this 444 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,680 Speaker 2: person like they're the first person I've ever met in 445 00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:59,720 Speaker 2: my life. I'm gonna treat this. I'm gonna treat talking 446 00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:01,879 Speaker 2: to this person and being present with this person like 447 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:07,000 Speaker 2: it's the most important, Like it's as important as saving 448 00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:09,600 Speaker 2: all the children and Yemen. You know what I'm saying. 449 00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:12,440 Speaker 2: You try that at least one time, or at least 450 00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:15,520 Speaker 2: one day. It's a place to start. 451 00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:18,920 Speaker 4: Yeah. 452 00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:19,600 Speaker 1: So just like. 453 00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:25,800 Speaker 3: Like go out blind and Uber, I would. 454 00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:29,760 Speaker 2: I wouldn't do anything that evolves being blind and driving. 455 00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:35,280 Speaker 3: For Uber, but metaphorically blind, stupid. 456 00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:41,960 Speaker 2: Yes, I would try to do whatever it is you 457 00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:43,880 Speaker 2: can do it and just put yourself in the moments, 458 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:46,680 Speaker 2: you know, because this is I mean, this shit happens 459 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,280 Speaker 2: to me all the time. Man, I'm on Twitter and 460 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:54,080 Speaker 2: fucking read it and thinking about everything about this, everything 461 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:57,080 Speaker 2: except for where I am actually at. And it's a 462 00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:05,080 Speaker 2: prime fucking h h recipe for disaster and unhappiness. Well 463 00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:10,520 Speaker 2: every time, oh for sure. And again I'm I'll just 464 00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:16,440 Speaker 2: say this last thing. I'm I see hope for you 465 00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:20,520 Speaker 2: in this, And obviously I'm not you, so I don't 466 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:24,080 Speaker 2: know the true depth of what you're dealing with, but 467 00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:26,480 Speaker 2: I just want to say this to you. I see 468 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:28,840 Speaker 2: hope for you and your ability to be able to 469 00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:35,240 Speaker 2: do this and to you know, put the entire world away, 470 00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:38,600 Speaker 2: to focus on your own life and your own community 471 00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:42,120 Speaker 2: and your own people that you interact with. Because you 472 00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:46,520 Speaker 2: told all those stories of being in the Uber and 473 00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:54,160 Speaker 2: these interesting people you meet, and you had a real gracious, 474 00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:57,760 Speaker 2: perceptive view of the humanity that you were going that 475 00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:00,160 Speaker 2: you were encountering when you were doing that, I know 476 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:06,080 Speaker 2: that you have the ability to sync deeply into that, 477 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:11,200 Speaker 2: if that makes sense, And so yeah, and so I 478 00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:15,960 Speaker 2: think that a future that involves more of you doing 479 00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:21,160 Speaker 2: that and less of you trying to solve the Israel 480 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:27,800 Speaker 2: Palestine crisis would be Uh, you know a better thing. 481 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:30,760 Speaker 3: It's one of my go tos man. 482 00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:38,600 Speaker 2: Listen uh, pomegranate. Some people in the chato me telling 483 00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:40,200 Speaker 2: you palm. I like that, Palm. 484 00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:41,440 Speaker 1: I get that. 485 00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:46,400 Speaker 2: I like palmy. I like those. I like all those. Listen, palm. 486 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:47,520 Speaker 4: Uh. 487 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:49,640 Speaker 2: Do you have any final thoughts about the stuff that 488 00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:52,400 Speaker 2: we've talked about and then anything else you want to 489 00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:53,880 Speaker 2: say to the people of the computer before we go? 490 00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:57,880 Speaker 3: I do, but I have one quick question to ask 491 00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:01,320 Speaker 3: you before I do that. Okay, Sure, what is the 492 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:04,080 Speaker 3: story with the hold music? 493 00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:10,520 Speaker 2: I am going to immediately hang up on the next 494 00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:13,520 Speaker 2: person that asked me that, but not you, because we've 495 00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:15,720 Speaker 2: gotten too far into it. Is there anything else that 496 00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,160 Speaker 2: you want to say about all the stuff that we've 497 00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:19,600 Speaker 2: been talking about her to the people of the computer 498 00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:20,040 Speaker 2: before we go. 499 00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:21,720 Speaker 1: Yes. 500 00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:26,320 Speaker 3: I think radical love is the key to the future. 501 00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:29,600 Speaker 3: And I think a lot of us spend time focused 502 00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:37,040 Speaker 3: on punishment instead of rehabilitation and building together forward. Sure, 503 00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:40,360 Speaker 3: and I think that's an important concept that people should 504 00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:42,520 Speaker 3: focus on, and I think they should examine how they 505 00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:45,920 Speaker 3: feel when people they care for and don't care for 506 00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:48,880 Speaker 3: do wrong in the world, and how to proceed forward 507 00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:49,160 Speaker 3: with that. 508 00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:57,240 Speaker 1: Anything about you, I'm going to try and look at 509 00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:58,120 Speaker 1: Twitter less. 510 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:03,160 Speaker 2: Beautiful. I'm gonna I support you in that goal. 511 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:05,680 Speaker 3: Thank you very much. 512 00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:11,400 Speaker 2: All right, bomb, take care you too. Get I liked 513 00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:13,760 Speaker 2: that call lot. I like that concept a lot, and 514 00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:17,520 Speaker 2: I'm trying to be better at that. I have all 515 00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:21,560 Speaker 2: these fucking epiphanies and then I lose them and go 516 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:25,680 Speaker 2: on Twitter. It happens all the time. I'm sure it's 517 00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:28,840 Speaker 2: happened to you guys too. You have this grand epiphany. 518 00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:32,040 Speaker 2: You're like just everything I just said to him, where 519 00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:35,920 Speaker 2: I'm like, I can't be thinking about every problem going 520 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:37,800 Speaker 2: on in the world all the time. I can't be 521 00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:40,520 Speaker 2: thinking about all the news. Here's what everyone else in 522 00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:43,640 Speaker 2: the world is doing. Here's what the popular folks are doing. 523 00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:47,360 Speaker 2: Here's what this guy that everybody hates said that he's 524 00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:49,960 Speaker 2: pissing everybody off. Now here's this thing, and it's just 525 00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:55,120 Speaker 2: it's everything except my life and what's in front of me. 526 00:32:56,280 --> 00:33:01,400 Speaker 2: And it's gotta be the grand thing to ignore all 527 00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:06,080 Speaker 2: of that and focus intently on being with the people 528 00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:09,360 Speaker 2: that I encounter in my life and being with the 529 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:12,480 Speaker 2: shit with my own life, and how can I best 530 00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:16,960 Speaker 2: do do my best in that and not worry about 531 00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:21,640 Speaker 2: any other shit. Right, you have that grand psychedelic epiphany, 532 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:24,120 Speaker 2: and then what do you do? You're on fucking Twitter 533 00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:30,680 Speaker 2: two days later, because because if only it were as easy, 534 00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:33,480 Speaker 2: That's that's the problem with all this stuff. If only 535 00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:36,800 Speaker 2: it were as easy as you have the epiphany, and 536 00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:39,440 Speaker 2: now the epiphany is integrated into your life, it rarely 537 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,800 Speaker 2: is it. You have to actually you have to go 538 00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:47,600 Speaker 2: to the mental gym and build your brain by having 539 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:50,440 Speaker 2: the epiphany, acting on it for a little bit, fucking up. 540 00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:55,080 Speaker 2: Then you act on it a little bit longer, you 541 00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:57,280 Speaker 2: fuck up again, and you just have to just keep trying. 542 00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,280 Speaker 2: It's hard. It's harder than just you have the epiphany 543 00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:02,000 Speaker 2: and it's in your life. Takes time to integrate it. 544 00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:09,319 Speaker 2: That's what I'm working on, all right, Thanks for calling Tom? Hello, Hello, 545 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:10,800 Speaker 2: how are you? 546 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:12,520 Speaker 1: I'm doing good? 547 00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:12,960 Speaker 4: How are you? 548 00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:18,160 Speaker 2: How can I get you to there? Oh? 549 00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:26,600 Speaker 1: Aywhile, well, so I'm in the middle of remodeling my 550 00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:32,640 Speaker 1: bathroom and I only have one bathroom, so I've been 551 00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:38,000 Speaker 1: finding myself like having to pee but too lazy to 552 00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:44,720 Speaker 1: go outside, So I've just been going to my kitchen 553 00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:51,879 Speaker 1: and just paying in the sink, and uh, like it's 554 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,880 Speaker 1: way more convenient that I thought it would be. And 555 00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:59,000 Speaker 1: I kind of like it. And I don't know if 556 00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:03,719 Speaker 1: that's bad. It doesn't smell or anything, which is cool, 557 00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:08,080 Speaker 1: and I don't have like a lot of people over 558 00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:13,120 Speaker 1: so I'm not worried about that. But this, like tonight, 559 00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:15,759 Speaker 1: I did it and I was like, I looked in 560 00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:19,760 Speaker 1: the reflection in the window and I saw my face 561 00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:22,800 Speaker 1: and I was like, is this okay? 562 00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:27,839 Speaker 2: Like I don't know, you had a moment of self 563 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:29,600 Speaker 2: reflection while you were peeing in the sink. 564 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:36,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I don't know, Like I like, I've done 565 00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:41,640 Speaker 1: it like more than like twenty times now, but this 566 00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:45,279 Speaker 1: time I looked up and I saw my face and 567 00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:50,279 Speaker 1: I was just like, WHOA, Like is this okay? I 568 00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:54,040 Speaker 1: don't know if this is weird or like, you know, like, 569 00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:57,560 Speaker 1: I don't know, it's just kind of cool. 570 00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:01,080 Speaker 2: I saw yourself from Afar were able to observe your 571 00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:02,880 Speaker 2: own actions in a way you hadn't before. 572 00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:05,040 Speaker 4: Yeah. 573 00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:09,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, So all right, bring me back to this moment 574 00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:15,560 Speaker 2: where you're staring at yourself and you're wondering if it's okay. 575 00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:24,520 Speaker 2: Tell me more about the thoughts going on in your head. Well, so. 576 00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:29,239 Speaker 1: I have to like get on my tippy toes to like, 577 00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:35,040 Speaker 1: you know, make it over the sink. So I'm usually 578 00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:39,640 Speaker 1: worried about splashing, but I was. I was making it 579 00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:44,360 Speaker 1: in and when I looked, I was just like, you know, 580 00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:50,080 Speaker 1: I'm older, I've you know, I feel like I'm too 581 00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:52,879 Speaker 1: old for that. I'm just like, what's what am I doing? 582 00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:55,759 Speaker 1: Like I'm a disappointment, Like why am I peeing in 583 00:36:55,840 --> 00:37:00,400 Speaker 1: the sink right now? Like like my parents would be 584 00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:01,360 Speaker 1: so ashamed. 585 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:04,879 Speaker 3: Yeah. 586 00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:08,000 Speaker 1: Also, like right in front of my sink is a 587 00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:11,560 Speaker 1: giant window, and I don't live like there's no houses 588 00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:15,839 Speaker 1: behind me. It's just kind of like mesa, but there's 589 00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:20,480 Speaker 1: an arroyo and then there's houses past that. And like 590 00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:23,320 Speaker 1: if somebody was just like for some reason, like on 591 00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:28,040 Speaker 1: a ladder looking over their wall, they they would see me. 592 00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:32,320 Speaker 1: But it's very unlikely. But that does come across my 593 00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:38,279 Speaker 1: mind time to time, and that's embarrassing because I don't 594 00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:42,880 Speaker 1: want some random person to see it. But yeah, I 595 00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:45,600 Speaker 1: don't know it's just like, why not just walk outside? 596 00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:53,560 Speaker 2: Yes, but you do realize that if you go outside 597 00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:58,440 Speaker 2: and pee, then there's a better chance of people being 598 00:37:58,480 --> 00:37:59,839 Speaker 2: able to see you than if you were just being 599 00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:00,680 Speaker 2: in your sink. 600 00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:08,920 Speaker 1: That's true, that's true. Yeah, I was worried about the smell, 601 00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:15,719 Speaker 1: but it doesn't smell too bad at least now. Like 602 00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:19,480 Speaker 1: I run water after I pee, and then I sometimes 603 00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:24,080 Speaker 1: turn on the garbage disposal just to be safe. But 604 00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:29,960 Speaker 1: I haven't had any problems so far. But like, also, 605 00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:34,600 Speaker 1: it takes water, and that's like a good thing I 606 00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:42,759 Speaker 1: saw on the internet, like flushing uses so much water, 607 00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:47,400 Speaker 1: and I guess like with the sink, you know, you 608 00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:48,400 Speaker 1: don't have to worry about that. 609 00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:50,839 Speaker 2: That's a good point. 610 00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:53,080 Speaker 1: So, but I don't know if I'm just justifying me 611 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,560 Speaker 1: peeing in the sink is the problem? 612 00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:01,000 Speaker 2: You said you feel like a disappointment when you look 613 00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:04,520 Speaker 2: at yourself in the reflection of the window being in 614 00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:04,879 Speaker 2: the sink. 615 00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:09,520 Speaker 1: Uh. Yeah, why do you. 616 00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:11,400 Speaker 2: Feel like a disappointment? What do you feel like is 617 00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:13,919 Speaker 2: inherently wrong with being in the sink? 618 00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:21,759 Speaker 1: Well, I just like, I don't know, I feel like 619 00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:26,720 Speaker 1: a grown man shouldn't, like, you know, with this stuff 620 00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:33,880 Speaker 1: out and be in the sink at least, like what, 621 00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:41,960 Speaker 1: oh yeah, do you own a rent? Rent? 622 00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:45,560 Speaker 2: How much is your rent? 623 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:49,680 Speaker 1: Twelve hundred? 624 00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:55,879 Speaker 2: I think you've earned the right to be in the sink. 625 00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:04,120 Speaker 1: Well, all right, that kind of makes me feel better 626 00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:10,360 Speaker 1: hearing it from you. Thank you. It's calling for some 627 00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:16,759 Speaker 1: kind of reassurance, you know. 628 00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:20,279 Speaker 2: Okay, listen, I I haven't brought this up yet, but 629 00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:27,719 Speaker 2: you said that you have a bathroom. Yeah, why don't 630 00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:28,840 Speaker 2: you just use the bathroom? 631 00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:35,560 Speaker 1: Uh, we're remodeling the bathroom, so there's no toilet, so 632 00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:37,920 Speaker 1: we kind of just you know, it's gone. There's just 633 00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:42,359 Speaker 1: a hole in the ground. I could try and pee 634 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:47,160 Speaker 1: in the hole. I never thought of doing that. I 635 00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:49,800 Speaker 1: don't think that works. 636 00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,799 Speaker 2: What had I modeled your toilet to be a sink? 637 00:40:56,280 --> 00:41:04,600 Speaker 1: Oh shit? Oh well, my guests would be really confused. 638 00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:12,040 Speaker 1: But hmm, well, I guess I could try and see 639 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:15,759 Speaker 1: in my well, that's gone too. What were you gonna say, 640 00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:20,719 Speaker 1: the kitchen sink like where you wash your hands. But 641 00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:24,400 Speaker 1: that's gone too, that's just pipes. But there is a 642 00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:26,719 Speaker 1: hole in the ground. I guess I could pee in that, 643 00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:30,520 Speaker 1: but I'm I don't know how plumbing works. So I 644 00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:33,279 Speaker 1: think I have no idea. 645 00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:37,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think. I think that if you were to 646 00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:42,839 Speaker 2: change your sink, your toilet to be a sink, then 647 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:48,120 Speaker 2: the line between what is meant to be peeed in 648 00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:50,560 Speaker 2: and what is meant to have your hands washed with 649 00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:56,400 Speaker 2: becomes blurred. Oh shit, And those lines were made by 650 00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:59,920 Speaker 2: humans anyway, because these these inventions, the sink, the toilet, 651 00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:03,600 Speaker 2: they're made by human beings. Okay, the natural world people 652 00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:09,000 Speaker 2: peeing outside is far, far, far older than these technologies. 653 00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:14,719 Speaker 2: And these technologies are you know, they only really have 654 00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:19,759 Speaker 2: the the intended purposes that we give them. But at 655 00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:21,640 Speaker 2: the end of the day, both the toilet and the sink, 656 00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:26,520 Speaker 2: they're just holes that lead to places. You know, it's subjective, 657 00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:31,800 Speaker 2: So if I were you, I would keep that in 658 00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:37,880 Speaker 2: mind when you're making your decision. But also don't do 659 00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:39,719 Speaker 2: anything where strangers are seeing your dick. 660 00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:47,160 Speaker 1: Oh for sure, no way, I'll think about that sor. 661 00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:49,440 Speaker 2: I think that's why the people of the Computer Before. 662 00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:49,400 Speaker 4: We Go. 663 00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:55,440 Speaker 1: Love the podcast, love you Lyle, got gone baby. 664 00:42:56,160 --> 00:43:05,239 Speaker 2: Thanks Ben tak Care. Every once in a while, when 665 00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:09,279 Speaker 2: I am truly lazy, I will pee in the trash can. 666 00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:14,680 Speaker 2: Oh shit, where does he poop. All right, I'm calling 667 00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:18,359 Speaker 2: him back. Hello, Hey man, real quick, one question? 668 00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:28,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, where do you poop outside? For now? 669 00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:37,200 Speaker 2: If you're already pooping outside, then what is this? 670 00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:42,840 Speaker 1: Usually I have to pee like more frequently than I 671 00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:46,239 Speaker 1: have to poop, so I just like going into the sink. 672 00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:50,279 Speaker 1: It's fine. Sometimes I pee outside when I'm pooping, but 673 00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:57,160 Speaker 1: you know, like i'd pee like four times a day 674 00:43:57,440 --> 00:43:59,320 Speaker 1: or five sometimes if I'm drinking. 675 00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:05,879 Speaker 2: Okay, thanks, all right, I'm glad we called them back. 676 00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:08,000 Speaker 1: Hello. 677 00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:11,600 Speaker 4: Hello, Hi, Oh my gosh. 678 00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:14,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, who is this. 679 00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:16,319 Speaker 3: Hi? 680 00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:17,840 Speaker 4: My name's Rachel. 681 00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:19,720 Speaker 2: How are you doing, Rachel? 682 00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:24,600 Speaker 4: I'm doing really good. I'm very Oh my gosh, I'm 683 00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:28,920 Speaker 4: very flustered and excited. I recently started listening to your 684 00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,400 Speaker 4: podcast and watching your videos. Wow. 685 00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:35,000 Speaker 2: Hell yeah, that makes me very happy to hear. 686 00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:38,399 Speaker 4: Man, that's awesome. How are you doing. 687 00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:45,080 Speaker 2: I'm doing good. I haven't shut up talking about my 688 00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:50,040 Speaker 2: live show tour thing, so I'm excited for that. I'm 689 00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:56,719 Speaker 2: gonna be yeah. Yeah, it's I'm gonna be yeah, I 690 00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:00,920 Speaker 2: thought to myself, because it's like fifty fuck dates. I'm like, 691 00:45:02,239 --> 00:45:06,680 Speaker 2: all right, well if I do this global, we'll see, 692 00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:11,120 Speaker 2: we'll see. I mean listen, man, I'm going to fucking Lisbon, Portugal. 693 00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:14,040 Speaker 2: I don't know how many people fucking listen to me there. 694 00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:16,839 Speaker 2: But if I go there and it's me and three 695 00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:20,160 Speaker 2: people and we sit in a circle and do a seance, 696 00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:22,959 Speaker 2: you know that'll be worth the plane ride. 697 00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:26,600 Speaker 4: But you know what, even if it is just three people, 698 00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:28,279 Speaker 4: I bet you'll make the most out of it. 699 00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:31,160 Speaker 2: That's what That's how I feel. That's how I feel. 700 00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:37,120 Speaker 2: I'm excited, Lisbon, Portugal, Come come see therapy, get go live. Anyway, anyway, 701 00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:39,759 Speaker 2: how are you, Rachel, what's going on? 702 00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:45,360 Speaker 4: I'm good. I'm just hanging out with my cat and 703 00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:49,040 Speaker 4: you know, talking to you, and oh my gosh. So 704 00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:53,240 Speaker 4: I'm good. I'm good. I have work in the morning, 705 00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:56,200 Speaker 4: but for right now, I'm good. I'm just chilling. 706 00:45:57,040 --> 00:46:01,040 Speaker 2: It says here that you claim that you are a 707 00:46:01,239 --> 00:46:05,400 Speaker 2: sore loser and you need advice on good sport. 708 00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:12,560 Speaker 4: Okay, Well, so yeah, this is like a problem. This 709 00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:16,960 Speaker 4: has been like a problem always. I'm just very defensive, 710 00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:22,040 Speaker 4: I guess, and I It's always been a thing with me, 711 00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:26,480 Speaker 4: whether it be like gym class or just video games 712 00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:30,520 Speaker 4: or even like shit board games with my family. I'm 713 00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:33,800 Speaker 4: just I always want to win, and I get so 714 00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:37,960 Speaker 4: angry when I lose. And it's not like I like 715 00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:42,040 Speaker 4: lash out physically or anything, but like I like curse 716 00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:45,719 Speaker 4: and like, you know, I kit talk and I just 717 00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:49,480 Speaker 4: I want to get over that because I want to 718 00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:51,759 Speaker 4: I want to make more friends and like go out 719 00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:53,600 Speaker 4: and do things. I live in the city and I 720 00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:56,520 Speaker 4: want to, you know, go play games, Like there's this 721 00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:59,120 Speaker 4: cool game shop near me. But I don't want to, 722 00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:03,160 Speaker 4: you know, like if we're talking shit to people I 723 00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:07,520 Speaker 4: just meet and want to be friends with, and I 724 00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:11,280 Speaker 4: recognize that the problem, but I kind of can't stop. 725 00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:16,040 Speaker 2: All right, Well let's get into that. Well, let's get 726 00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:18,160 Speaker 2: into it. What I mean. You say that you're very 727 00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:21,279 Speaker 2: competitive to the point where you don't feel like you 728 00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:26,799 Speaker 2: can physically restrain yourself from cussing people out at your 729 00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:29,160 Speaker 2: local board night board game. 730 00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:35,680 Speaker 4: Well, I don't like physically assault people. I'm very skinny. 731 00:47:35,719 --> 00:47:38,360 Speaker 4: I would not be able to. But I don't know, 732 00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:42,080 Speaker 4: I just get really heated, like playing like online games 733 00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:45,759 Speaker 4: or whatever. Like I just I just get too riled 734 00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:50,360 Speaker 4: up when I lose. Man, Well, like what do you 735 00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:51,840 Speaker 4: think that is? 736 00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:54,680 Speaker 2: Like what I do you have any idea why you 737 00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:55,319 Speaker 2: are like this. 738 00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:01,320 Speaker 4: I meant do it. I mean. 739 00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:04,279 Speaker 3: Most so, most of. 740 00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:09,239 Speaker 4: My competitiveness, I guess comes from like me being a 741 00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:11,839 Speaker 4: girl trying to prove myself, I guess. And I don't 742 00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:14,000 Speaker 4: want to say that's always the case, because I'm not. 743 00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:17,319 Speaker 4: I'm not trying to like, you know, assume that people 744 00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:20,160 Speaker 4: are like being misogynistic or you know, but I feel 745 00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:22,200 Speaker 4: like I kind of like have stuff to prove, and 746 00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:25,320 Speaker 4: I'm like good at things, you know, I want to, 747 00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:29,440 Speaker 4: like I'm really passionate about things, and I want to 748 00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:32,399 Speaker 4: you know, I want to. It's not to say I'm 749 00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:35,920 Speaker 4: always losing, but it just, you know, it kind of 750 00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:39,239 Speaker 4: like hurts my ego, I guess. I don't I want 751 00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:41,120 Speaker 4: to want to say I'm an ego maybiac gur Right, 752 00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:44,719 Speaker 4: Well sure in that way, I guess. 753 00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:47,800 Speaker 2: Okay, Well, I mean, look, there's something to be afraid 754 00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:52,399 Speaker 2: of or or or you know, in discovering of kind 755 00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:55,359 Speaker 2: of what you are and why you do the things 756 00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:57,960 Speaker 2: you do. But let me all right, so let me 757 00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:02,400 Speaker 2: ask you this here. You say you feel like you're 758 00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:05,520 Speaker 2: trying to prove something. You feel like as a girl, 759 00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:08,239 Speaker 2: you're trying to prove that, you know, like you're like 760 00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:12,600 Speaker 2: you're fighting up against something. I mean, this competitive nature. 761 00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:16,560 Speaker 2: Does it only come out when you are like doing 762 00:49:16,719 --> 00:49:19,040 Speaker 2: things with like just guys, Like like if you're playing 763 00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:20,680 Speaker 2: a board game with a bunch of other girls, Like, 764 00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:21,799 Speaker 2: does it does? 765 00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:25,360 Speaker 4: Does the competitive it's anybody? Like I don't want to 766 00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:28,000 Speaker 4: say being this girl is the only reason. Like I'll 767 00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:31,799 Speaker 4: just like even if I'm playing like my friends, I'm 768 00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:35,280 Speaker 4: just I'm very competitive and like my really good friends 769 00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:38,480 Speaker 4: like know that about me. And you know, it's like 770 00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:41,399 Speaker 4: if I notice myself doing it, I'll try and curb 771 00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:44,560 Speaker 4: it in. But it's always like they like, let's talk 772 00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:46,880 Speaker 4: about yeah this. 773 00:49:48,960 --> 00:49:50,839 Speaker 2: You have something to prove thing? 774 00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:51,840 Speaker 3: What is that? 775 00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:53,120 Speaker 2: What do you what are you trying to prove? 776 00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:54,799 Speaker 3: Oh? 777 00:49:55,160 --> 00:50:02,200 Speaker 4: Man, you really are a good therapist. Huh. It's it's 778 00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:08,960 Speaker 4: like this whole so long story short. I was diagnosed 779 00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:13,719 Speaker 4: with ADHD in like eighth grade. So it only like 780 00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:17,440 Speaker 4: I'm not saying like it's it's a bad thing because 781 00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:20,440 Speaker 4: I've I've I've gone to an actual therapist and I've 782 00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:22,880 Speaker 4: you know, seen it as like a positive thing. It's 783 00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:25,239 Speaker 4: not a detriment to me or anything. But it's kind 784 00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:30,880 Speaker 4: of always been like, oh she has that, so you know, 785 00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:35,160 Speaker 4: I mean I was kind of like I was kind 786 00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:38,160 Speaker 4: of raised to be like aware of that as a thing, 787 00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:42,479 Speaker 4: and it's always been like just another thing holding me back. 788 00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:46,239 Speaker 4: So I don't know, maybe like I guess that like 789 00:50:47,120 --> 00:50:50,239 Speaker 4: it's like an additional thing I gotta and it's not 790 00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:51,080 Speaker 4: like this is. 791 00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:54,360 Speaker 2: But I just want to talk for a second. Is 792 00:50:54,440 --> 00:51:00,480 Speaker 2: this this It sounds like and I'm doing armchair therapy here, 793 00:51:00,760 --> 00:51:02,920 Speaker 2: but you know, I'm going to just say something and 794 00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:04,440 Speaker 2: you tell me if you think it's accurate. 795 00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:06,400 Speaker 4: Okay? 796 00:51:07,280 --> 00:51:09,120 Speaker 3: You Uh. 797 00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:14,440 Speaker 2: Their competitiveness comes from like these constant like feeling as 798 00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:19,480 Speaker 2: though you're railing against stuff, right, like like you want 799 00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:21,960 Speaker 2: to prove that you know, you as a as a 800 00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:24,960 Speaker 2: woman can do things. You want to prove that you 801 00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:28,480 Speaker 2: know your ADHD isn't holding you back. You're like having 802 00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:31,880 Speaker 2: there's these things that you're railing against and trying to 803 00:51:32,320 --> 00:51:36,200 Speaker 2: prove that you're above and it's driving a lot of 804 00:51:36,239 --> 00:51:38,759 Speaker 2: this competitive nature. Is that accurate at all? 805 00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:43,800 Speaker 4: Yeah? That that really kind of summarizes it, Okay, And 806 00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:47,520 Speaker 4: I guess just like that comes like and then I'm 807 00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:52,160 Speaker 4: like self aware, so then I'm also fighting myself and 808 00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:56,320 Speaker 4: being like why are you you know, why are you 809 00:51:56,560 --> 00:52:00,680 Speaker 4: like this kind of oh? Yeah, like and then I'm 810 00:52:00,760 --> 00:52:03,960 Speaker 4: aware of how I'm feeling and then I'm just fighting 811 00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:09,360 Speaker 4: myself at that point, so it's just yeah, yeah, I oh, 812 00:52:09,560 --> 00:52:12,320 Speaker 4: it's like constantly in a circle of bitterness with it. 813 00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:15,640 Speaker 2: Oh that's the word. I understand what you're saying completely, 814 00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:19,120 Speaker 2: because when you're self aware about something, you get two hits, 815 00:52:19,640 --> 00:52:23,240 Speaker 2: you're like, yeah, like, uh, why do I You're because 816 00:52:23,320 --> 00:52:29,080 Speaker 2: you're you're competitive overly almost in a way that you 817 00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:31,719 Speaker 2: feel like you can't even control. And then on top 818 00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:34,880 Speaker 2: of that, you're pissed off that you can't that you 819 00:52:35,120 --> 00:52:37,880 Speaker 2: You're just pissed off at yourself for being like this, 820 00:52:39,280 --> 00:52:40,520 Speaker 2: So it hits you twice. 821 00:52:42,080 --> 00:52:44,800 Speaker 4: Yeah, And you know it's weird though, Like I've already 822 00:52:44,880 --> 00:52:47,560 Speaker 4: gone through like I'm an adult, I'm in my I'm 823 00:52:47,600 --> 00:52:50,879 Speaker 4: in my late twenties, and just like I've I've gone 824 00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:54,200 Speaker 4: through therapy for like the ADHD and blame and guilt 825 00:52:54,239 --> 00:53:00,160 Speaker 4: and everything. So I'm glad to say I'm removed for 826 00:53:00,360 --> 00:53:03,640 Speaker 4: most of that guilt towards it and just like you know, 827 00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:06,759 Speaker 4: apologizing and blaming it and blaming myself for a lot 828 00:53:06,800 --> 00:53:10,000 Speaker 4: of things but it's kind of sucks that it's still there, 829 00:53:10,760 --> 00:53:14,680 Speaker 4: Like it's still like, you know, with like the guilt 830 00:53:14,719 --> 00:53:17,439 Speaker 4: and trying to prove to myself even though like there's 831 00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:19,319 Speaker 4: nothing wrong with me. This is just how I am. 832 00:53:19,960 --> 00:53:22,160 Speaker 4: I'm still kind of doing it, and then I'm just 833 00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:23,759 Speaker 4: like down on myself for it. 834 00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:27,600 Speaker 2: Have you ever flipped a chess board over at someone? 835 00:53:32,360 --> 00:53:34,719 Speaker 4: I don't think a chess board because I don't know 836 00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:38,279 Speaker 4: how to play jazz, But I'm not gonna sit here 837 00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:43,800 Speaker 4: and say no, because they're probably has been a point, 838 00:53:44,640 --> 00:53:48,160 Speaker 4: you know. What's funny. I remember there's one memory that 839 00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:50,719 Speaker 4: just came to mind of me trying to play rock 840 00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:53,520 Speaker 4: band with my family and I think I was trying 841 00:53:53,560 --> 00:53:57,280 Speaker 4: to do free birds and I missed one too many, 842 00:53:57,760 --> 00:54:00,160 Speaker 4: and like so like I was on the guitar, my 843 00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:04,000 Speaker 4: sister or whatever was on the keyboard, and somebody else 844 00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:05,960 Speaker 4: is on the mic, and I got so mad that 845 00:54:06,080 --> 00:54:09,200 Speaker 4: I wasn't doing it right. I literally restart the song 846 00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:11,279 Speaker 4: and everybody's like, what the hell? You know, we were 847 00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:12,920 Speaker 4: just into it, and I'm like, no, I gotta get 848 00:54:12,960 --> 00:54:14,319 Speaker 4: it right. I gotta get it right because I. 849 00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:15,080 Speaker 3: Know I can do it. 850 00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:16,080 Speaker 4: I know I can do it. 851 00:54:17,280 --> 00:54:21,680 Speaker 2: So, what's the worst incarnation of this that you have experienced? 852 00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:22,200 Speaker 3: Have you. 853 00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:28,920 Speaker 2: Gotten physical? What's the worst it's gotten? 854 00:54:30,560 --> 00:54:37,480 Speaker 4: Oh god, I don't like again, it's never been physical. 855 00:54:37,719 --> 00:54:43,480 Speaker 4: I think the worst is just like, I don't think 856 00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:46,840 Speaker 4: the worst is like really like a specific situation. I 857 00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:51,080 Speaker 4: just really feel like the feeling of losing. And I 858 00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:53,640 Speaker 4: guess it's somewhat like the closest thing I can call 859 00:54:53,719 --> 00:54:55,880 Speaker 4: it is guilt, but I don't think it is guilt. 860 00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:01,440 Speaker 4: Just like I don't know, maybe just like when I'm 861 00:55:01,440 --> 00:55:04,879 Speaker 4: playing online games, I think that I don't know if 862 00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:08,239 Speaker 4: Chad will relate to this, but the latest Platoon game 863 00:55:08,400 --> 00:55:11,560 Speaker 4: that released, Oh my god, all my multiplayer on that, Like, 864 00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:14,960 Speaker 4: I think I'm pretty good at that, but holy hell, 865 00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:19,360 Speaker 4: when I lose a match or whatever, it just hurts. 866 00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:22,520 Speaker 4: Like and I know I'm pretty good because they ranked you, 867 00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:25,600 Speaker 4: they played you with other people of your skill, so 868 00:55:25,760 --> 00:55:29,000 Speaker 4: I'm up there, but oh my gosh, it just like 869 00:55:29,239 --> 00:55:31,960 Speaker 4: it hurts. And I do not play league legends. I 870 00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:32,799 Speaker 4: am not that bad. 871 00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:40,000 Speaker 2: So it's okay, It's okay. I kind of have a thing. 872 00:55:40,640 --> 00:55:42,359 Speaker 2: I have a little bit of a thing. I'm gonna 873 00:55:42,360 --> 00:55:44,839 Speaker 2: tell you this thing and you tell me if it's 874 00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:50,800 Speaker 2: helpful or relatable to your situation. This desire to prove yourself. 875 00:55:52,239 --> 00:55:58,400 Speaker 2: I get it. I on a I personally have always 876 00:55:58,480 --> 00:56:03,799 Speaker 2: felt as though not always, but just I personally kind 877 00:56:03,840 --> 00:56:08,279 Speaker 2: of feel like the desire to prove yourself. 878 00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:10,120 Speaker 3: Is not. 879 00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:16,799 Speaker 2: A great motivator because at the end of the day, 880 00:56:17,800 --> 00:56:23,000 Speaker 2: nobody cares about you, right, which is not a mean 881 00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:25,960 Speaker 2: or sad. It's a good thing. It's a free it's 882 00:56:26,080 --> 00:56:26,680 Speaker 2: no freedom. 883 00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:30,520 Speaker 4: It's funny you say that, because I found myself like 884 00:56:30,719 --> 00:56:34,759 Speaker 4: most like within the past year or so, like it's 885 00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:37,200 Speaker 4: so easy to fall into like Twitter arguments and just 886 00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:40,359 Speaker 4: people online, and I found myself taking a step back 887 00:56:40,600 --> 00:56:43,000 Speaker 4: on those because like when you're having to type it out, 888 00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:45,920 Speaker 4: you have that second to like take a breath and 889 00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:48,560 Speaker 4: think about it. Yeah, And I found myself, you know, thinking, 890 00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:50,879 Speaker 4: wait a minute, do I really care? 891 00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:53,480 Speaker 1: No, I don't eat whatever. 892 00:56:53,239 --> 00:56:55,719 Speaker 4: I was gonna say, right and then move what But 893 00:56:55,840 --> 00:56:59,920 Speaker 4: I think when like games and stuff, it's it's it's 894 00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:05,080 Speaker 4: so much more like within them, you don't have that introspection. 895 00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:10,120 Speaker 2: So just to the point of do I really care, 896 00:57:10,280 --> 00:57:14,440 Speaker 2: it's like a couple a couple of things and I'll 897 00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:16,360 Speaker 2: just this is kind of be my last point on this. 898 00:57:16,680 --> 00:57:19,360 Speaker 2: Is like when you're trying to prove yourself when you're 899 00:57:19,840 --> 00:57:24,320 Speaker 2: and the competitive nature comes from trying to prove yourself 900 00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:28,120 Speaker 2: to other people. Hey, the people you're trying to prove 901 00:57:28,160 --> 00:57:32,000 Speaker 2: yourself to, they don't care. They don't care about you. 902 00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:34,160 Speaker 2: And even though they do care and they're impressed for 903 00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:40,720 Speaker 2: a little bit it, there's no lasting positive effect from 904 00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:44,080 Speaker 2: them being impressed by you, and only lasts sobody they're 905 00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:46,880 Speaker 2: going to go and live their own life and not 906 00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:52,280 Speaker 2: be thinking about you. And then you're left with actions 907 00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:55,160 Speaker 2: that you don't even like them. You don't even like 908 00:57:55,280 --> 00:58:01,000 Speaker 2: these things about yourself that you're doing to prove yourself 909 00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:05,680 Speaker 2: to other people who don't even care. Right, So, if 910 00:58:05,720 --> 00:58:08,160 Speaker 2: you took a second, if you took a second in 911 00:58:08,240 --> 00:58:09,880 Speaker 2: the way that you take a second when you're in 912 00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:14,800 Speaker 2: a Twitter argument, and you you know, pause the typing 913 00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:17,560 Speaker 2: for a second, and you're like, huh, I'm trying to 914 00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:20,760 Speaker 2: prove myself to people that I don't even care about, 915 00:58:21,800 --> 00:58:24,800 Speaker 2: that don't even care that much about me, and how 916 00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:27,240 Speaker 2: good I am in any of this stuff? And in 917 00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:30,560 Speaker 2: doing that, I'm doing shit that I don't even like 918 00:58:30,640 --> 00:58:33,840 Speaker 2: about myself. Maybe if you took that second, if you 919 00:58:33,920 --> 00:58:38,040 Speaker 2: found that second, you could calm down and not right 920 00:58:38,520 --> 00:58:39,760 Speaker 2: knock over the Jenga tower. 921 00:58:41,640 --> 00:58:45,120 Speaker 4: Listen, I don't do that. But so let me ask 922 00:58:45,160 --> 00:58:47,760 Speaker 4: you this. Then. I am one of my friends that 923 00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:50,600 Speaker 4: I've made within the past couple of years when I 924 00:58:50,680 --> 00:58:54,760 Speaker 4: moved out of my parents. She wants to do like 925 00:58:54,880 --> 00:58:57,200 Speaker 4: get into like a volleyball league or a softball league 926 00:58:57,280 --> 00:59:00,120 Speaker 4: or something. Is there any advice that you have of 927 00:59:00,440 --> 00:59:03,360 Speaker 4: that if I feel that, like, you know, guilt that 928 00:59:03,440 --> 00:59:05,840 Speaker 4: I have to work on coming up in that moment 929 00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:08,000 Speaker 4: if I lose or do something wrong, do you have 930 00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:11,400 Speaker 4: any advice for what I could do? Because she's aware 931 00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:13,560 Speaker 4: of my competitiveness and I don't want to be like 932 00:59:13,600 --> 00:59:14,560 Speaker 4: a detriment to her. 933 00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:18,920 Speaker 2: Uh huh, Well, I mean, I look, I mean you 934 00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:20,680 Speaker 2: not wanting to be a detriment to her. I mean, 935 00:59:20,720 --> 00:59:24,440 Speaker 2: that's just another fuel to add into that. That's just 936 00:59:24,560 --> 00:59:28,760 Speaker 2: more fuel into your realization when you take a moment. Okay, 937 00:59:29,440 --> 00:59:32,480 Speaker 2: you know that's what I would say if I had 938 00:59:32,520 --> 00:59:38,560 Speaker 2: to advise. It's just to take a moment, right, Just 939 00:59:38,720 --> 00:59:43,080 Speaker 2: remember that nobody cares. You don't care. Nobody care just 940 00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:45,400 Speaker 2: remember that nobody cares. A good thing, that nobody cares. 941 00:59:45,480 --> 00:59:48,560 Speaker 2: It's it's not a bad I think it's a good 942 00:59:48,600 --> 00:59:51,200 Speaker 2: thing that nobody cares, and you don't and you don't 943 00:59:51,240 --> 00:59:57,760 Speaker 2: care about them. What you care about. Your priority is 944 00:59:58,120 --> 01:00:00,360 Speaker 2: to act like a regular hman being. 945 01:00:02,480 --> 01:00:03,600 Speaker 4: I'll try and be normal. 946 01:00:04,320 --> 01:00:08,480 Speaker 2: And and when you take a second, and you and 947 01:00:08,600 --> 01:00:11,760 Speaker 2: it's going to take a lot of you reminding yourself this. 948 01:00:12,840 --> 01:00:14,720 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like a muscle, I worry. 949 01:00:14,800 --> 01:00:16,920 Speaker 2: It's like a muscle. Exactly, It's like a muscle. And 950 01:00:16,960 --> 01:00:19,360 Speaker 2: you'll grow that muscle. And then once you continue to 951 01:00:19,480 --> 01:00:24,480 Speaker 2: orient yourself away from your defaults. Your defaults are rooted 952 01:00:24,600 --> 01:00:29,280 Speaker 2: in this anger and desire to prove yourself, which you 953 01:00:30,040 --> 01:00:32,840 Speaker 2: and that's your emotional response, but your logical response is 954 01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:36,960 Speaker 2: going to be, how can I serve me being a normal, 955 01:00:37,560 --> 01:00:41,240 Speaker 2: compliant human being. And this interaction that I'm having with 956 01:00:41,360 --> 01:00:47,880 Speaker 2: other people, you know, you'll you'll get there, You'll get there. 957 01:00:48,280 --> 01:00:49,920 Speaker 2: And then add in, I don't want to be you know, 958 01:00:49,960 --> 01:00:51,920 Speaker 2: I don't want to fuck this up for my friend. 959 01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:54,720 Speaker 2: You add that in as fuel to that, you know. 960 01:00:54,720 --> 01:00:56,280 Speaker 3: What I'm saying, That will definitely help. 961 01:00:56,840 --> 01:01:00,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and uh, Listen. You might have to throw 962 01:01:00,440 --> 01:01:04,480 Speaker 2: a few controllers and break a few skateboards over your 963 01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:06,520 Speaker 2: knee before you get there, but you'll get there. 964 01:01:08,120 --> 01:01:08,440 Speaker 3: Listen. 965 01:01:08,520 --> 01:01:11,920 Speaker 4: I've never broken a controller. I'm proud to say that, 966 01:01:13,680 --> 01:01:17,720 Speaker 4: although I mean, having those wristbands on the way definitely 967 01:01:17,800 --> 01:01:19,080 Speaker 4: to help when they came out. 968 01:01:19,680 --> 01:01:21,680 Speaker 3: But I'm. 969 01:01:23,040 --> 01:01:26,040 Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, no, that makes total sense. And it's 970 01:01:26,040 --> 01:01:28,720 Speaker 4: funny that you you know, we talked about it being 971 01:01:28,760 --> 01:01:32,320 Speaker 4: a muscle and everything, because a man, I am just 972 01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:35,160 Speaker 4: kind of falling back into like that old detrimental habit 973 01:01:35,280 --> 01:01:37,960 Speaker 4: that I had before I went to therapy before, like 974 01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:40,760 Speaker 4: because I used to be like so apologetic and you know, 975 01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:43,400 Speaker 4: just like accepting the blame because I have this disorder 976 01:01:43,560 --> 01:01:46,320 Speaker 4: and my therapist really had to help me and like 977 01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:50,080 Speaker 4: train me off of that mindset. So it's kind of 978 01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:53,720 Speaker 4: weird that I'm back in like a somewhat similar cycle 979 01:01:53,840 --> 01:01:56,440 Speaker 4: for something else, but it's still kind of related. 980 01:01:57,080 --> 01:01:59,960 Speaker 2: No, it fucking sucks. It's crazy because like I've had 981 01:02:00,120 --> 01:02:03,280 Speaker 2: times were like so believe it or not, surprisingly, I've 982 01:02:03,280 --> 01:02:04,800 Speaker 2: had times in my life where I'm in shape and 983 01:02:04,840 --> 01:02:07,880 Speaker 2: I'm going to the gym and whatnot, and then you 984 01:02:08,160 --> 01:02:11,840 Speaker 2: stop and then you just get fat, and it's like 985 01:02:11,960 --> 01:02:14,400 Speaker 2: there's a mental thing to that too. You have times 986 01:02:14,440 --> 01:02:17,240 Speaker 2: where you're like, very it's exactly the same. You are 987 01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:21,160 Speaker 2: cognizant of your life and the way that you're thinking 988 01:02:21,200 --> 01:02:23,600 Speaker 2: about things because you have this epiphany because you did 989 01:02:23,640 --> 01:02:26,880 Speaker 2: Ayahuascar or whatever it is, and you're kind of holding 990 01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:28,720 Speaker 2: that for a little bit, and then you slack off 991 01:02:28,760 --> 01:02:33,600 Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden, you're you know, court. 992 01:02:35,320 --> 01:02:37,560 Speaker 4: Like, I could keep you on the phone for like 993 01:02:37,640 --> 01:02:41,600 Speaker 4: another two hours straight about motivation alone because I have zero. 994 01:02:42,800 --> 01:02:47,480 Speaker 2: But is there anything else you want to say to 995 01:02:47,480 --> 01:02:48,600 Speaker 2: the people that computer before we go? 996 01:02:50,880 --> 01:02:54,640 Speaker 4: No? Just I guess, just to take away from this 997 01:02:54,840 --> 01:03:00,560 Speaker 4: breathe be nice to each other. I don't know. Uh, 998 01:03:01,920 --> 01:03:03,800 Speaker 4: my cat says, Hi, I guess. 999 01:03:05,760 --> 01:03:05,800 Speaker 3: No. 1000 01:03:06,040 --> 01:03:09,400 Speaker 4: I just My only other question, uh would be because 1001 01:03:09,480 --> 01:03:13,160 Speaker 4: I don't know if you've answered this before, but since 1002 01:03:13,200 --> 01:03:15,880 Speaker 4: I'm like kind of a new viewer, I am curious 1003 01:03:16,040 --> 01:03:18,919 Speaker 4: as to how you get your green suit to show 1004 01:03:19,040 --> 01:03:24,160 Speaker 4: up if you use a green screen or is it 1005 01:03:24,320 --> 01:03:25,680 Speaker 4: just like secret GEK magic? 1006 01:03:26,640 --> 01:03:27,480 Speaker 2: What green screen? 1007 01:03:30,520 --> 01:03:34,960 Speaker 4: Oh? Okay, maybe it's the sorry bye. 1008 01:03:36,880 --> 01:03:40,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a tough one. I hate giving advice, which 1009 01:03:40,920 --> 01:03:44,640 Speaker 2: is why I have an advice podcast. I hate giving 1010 01:03:44,680 --> 01:03:48,960 Speaker 2: advice because I I hate the idea that I'll tell 1011 01:03:49,040 --> 01:03:52,720 Speaker 2: somebody to do. I just I hope everyone understands when 1012 01:03:52,760 --> 01:03:56,800 Speaker 2: I say to do something, it's I'm talking to me 1013 01:03:56,960 --> 01:03:59,160 Speaker 2: one hundred percent of the time, because I fuck up 1014 01:03:59,600 --> 01:04:05,680 Speaker 2: a lot, and I these things I'm trying to do, 1015 01:04:06,960 --> 01:04:09,439 Speaker 2: I fuck up, and I'm not nice all the time, 1016 01:04:09,600 --> 01:04:16,160 Speaker 2: and I'm trying. I'm I'm with everyone else who calls me, uh, 1017 01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:22,880 Speaker 2: trying to work on myself as a human being. And 1018 01:04:23,080 --> 01:04:26,600 Speaker 2: I guess I hate the idea that if you position 1019 01:04:26,720 --> 01:04:30,360 Speaker 2: yourself to a point where you're like giving advice, it 1020 01:04:30,680 --> 01:04:33,440 Speaker 2: somehow implies that you're above all of the things that 1021 01:04:33,560 --> 01:04:42,000 Speaker 2: you're giving advice on, and that implication makes me vastly uncomfortable. So, 1022 01:04:43,320 --> 01:04:49,120 Speaker 2: you know, just throwing it out there that I'm navigating 1023 01:04:49,200 --> 01:04:56,400 Speaker 2: this space with all of these people, you know, working 1024 01:04:56,480 --> 01:05:01,840 Speaker 2: on this ship myself. Okay, Repeat goes on the line 1025 01:05:02,160 --> 01:05:05,480 Speaker 2: taking your phone calls every night. The repeat can goes 1026 01:05:05,560 --> 01:05:08,479 Speaker 2: doing his ride. Who's teaching you to houses of your life, 1027 01:05:08,880 --> 01:05:11,040 Speaker 2: but he's not really an expert.