Speaker 1: The Nicki Gliser Podcast. Glaser, Hello, welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 1: It's a Nicky Glazer podcast. It's Nicki Glazer in Saint
Speaker 1: Louis in studio again. Not alone this time. I've been
Speaker 1: alone for so for so long in my life. But
Speaker 1: I'm here with my friend Taylor McGraw, who's been on
Speaker 1: the show a million times before. Welcome to the show. Tayler,
Speaker 1: you look so young. What's going on with you? What
Speaker 1: treatments have you been doing? Brian Frangie's also here, Brian,
Speaker 1: what's up?
Speaker 2: Yo?
Speaker 1: Look in the same age as always.
Speaker 3: I know Brian's treatments.
Speaker 1: Does have amazing skin. If you see his face, skin
Speaker 1: is ridict It's really good. But you haven't been doing
Speaker 1: any treatments? Is it?
Speaker 3: The haircut?
Speaker 1: I'm not getting like a bot like a shorter haircut
Speaker 1: because I think it makes you look younger.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I like to hear like this.
Speaker 1: Really mm hmmm. Well, there's this Netflix documentary about a
Speaker 1: cult called Dancing in the Dark and this girl joins
Speaker 1: a cult, this dancing cult on TikTok and she cuts
Speaker 1: her hair and if you've seen it, you know exactly
Speaker 1: what we're talking about. When she cut her hair. It
Speaker 1: was just a good choice. She just looked so cute.
Speaker 1: And usually when girls cut their hair, it's no bueno.
Speaker 1: Like when the shorter you go, the more like, less
Speaker 1: feminine you get. And that's just by society's standards, and
Speaker 1: I'm trying to adhere to society's standards.
Speaker 3: I'm going to do my career. All Anya's haircuts are perfect.
Speaker 1: Everyone, Yeah, they're always scuts. She is just of someone
Speaker 1: who pays attention like she doesn't never does anything wrong
Speaker 1: in terms of esthetics. She's very thoughtful. Her outfits are
Speaker 1: well put together, so are yours, though, I mean, that's
Speaker 1: maybe why you like it. It was my birthday this weekend.
Speaker 1: Taylor was not there. She was at a funeral that
Speaker 1: was pre scheduled for someone who died in January, which
Speaker 1: I don't really understand, but that's fine. Where are you
Speaker 1: were in Kansas?
Speaker 3: The middle of Kansas, Okay?
Speaker 1: And how was that?
Speaker 3: It was cool? It wasn't too different than here. It's
Speaker 3: where my boyfriend is from, Central Kansas, eight hours from here,
Speaker 3: so I thought it was going to be kind of scary,
Speaker 3: but so long.
Speaker 1: Eight hours is far.
Speaker 3: It is kind of far.
Speaker 1: Six hours is to since that up to drive, but
Speaker 1: you broke up to drive.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we broke up during it.
Speaker 1: That's good.
Speaker 3: We broke the drive by stopping.
Speaker 1: That's an interesting I missed it.
Speaker 2: So they died in January and the funerals.
Speaker 3: Because that's when everyone can get together, Like there's like
Speaker 3: a bunch of grandchildren in college and stuff. So they
Speaker 3: all had to wait till they were able to get
Speaker 3: because it's hard to get to the middle of Kansas.
Speaker 2: No one lives there anymore.
Speaker 3: But she just she was cremated and they like lowered
Speaker 3: the little ashes down and I wouldn't see it. Actually,
Speaker 3: we left and the ashes were still sitting there and
Speaker 3: we drove away, and I was like, what if someone
Speaker 3: comes and steals this marble urn?
Speaker 1: Only you would think of that.
Speaker 3: You would steal that marble urn, would at least open it.
Speaker 1: My aunt used to steal flowers from grapesite.
Speaker 3: I did too, well, not from grave sites, but just
Speaker 3: like from the cemetery you go like cut branches.
Speaker 1: Oh, she would steal them from the gravesites. She's like, who,
Speaker 1: they don't be school, So I hope people are stealing
Speaker 1: them from hers.
Speaker 3: Well, because I would I would go get them, you know,
Speaker 3: how they have a sign that says like they're going to.
Speaker 1: Be thrown away later I.
Speaker 3: Get them, lin, I go get them on that date.
Speaker 3: Oh date they say they're going to throw them away.
Speaker 1: Oh they say they're gonna oh okay.
Speaker 3: Sign because they they want them refreshed.
Speaker 2: God like getting the roll in the back of a
Speaker 2: bagel store when they're at the end of the day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't believe things aren't marked down. But I
Speaker 1: go into Whole Foods and I go to the sushi department,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, none of this is lasting until tomorrow.
Speaker 1: You're closing in a half hour and all of this
Speaker 1: is still fourteen dollars.
Speaker 3: What do they do with it? I hope they give
Speaker 3: you a food, but of.
Speaker 1: Course they don't. They don't none of it they it goes,
Speaker 1: all goes in the trash. And then I think the
Speaker 1: dumpsters are like locked up. I mean, like they don't
Speaker 1: want people because everyone would go.
Speaker 3: Because it's all how is the dumpster big enough?
Speaker 1: Not everyone? I mean like me, you all, all of
Speaker 1: us would get lots of people like you would go,
Speaker 1: but I yeah, it's it's disgusting if anyone Busty's listening
Speaker 1: in the foods. I don't even tell me what happens
Speaker 1: with waste. I can't even I can't. My psyche can't
Speaker 1: take it.
Speaker 3: I got their own coffee and she was like, I'll
Speaker 3: remake it, and I was like no, no, and she
Speaker 3: was like insisting.
Speaker 1: I was like, is that gonna go to someone else?
Speaker 1: And sometimes they run out of at Starbucks, they run
Speaker 1: out of the warmer, the hand warmer things, you know,
Speaker 1: like the cardboard things, and they'll double cop it, and
Speaker 1: I go no, because I get extra hot. I definitely
Speaker 1: needed my hands start, but I guess I gotta get
Speaker 1: callouses on my hand so I don't need them because
Speaker 1: my throat is now callous. And I can suck down
Speaker 1: an extra hot like lat that would burn someone's like
Speaker 1: just smelling it would burn their the inside of their nostril,
Speaker 1: and I suck it down like nothing.
Speaker 3: Woo. Why do you want to extra hot?
Speaker 1: Because I want to slow my consumption down because if
Speaker 1: it is just regular hot, I'll drink it in literally,
Speaker 1: I'll drink a ventie in a minute. I'm just a chugger.
Speaker 1: My dad has always called me one. I'm just I
Speaker 1: consume things so quickly. I'm just quick and so when
Speaker 1: it's extra hot, it slows me a little bit, but
Speaker 1: it's got to be. And then sometimes the coffee is
Speaker 1: burnt because I get it so hot.
Speaker 3: Good coffee that doesn't taste as good or something because
Speaker 3: it's not as suckle.
Speaker 1: Well that's not fun.
Speaker 3: Well it could just it could be good. It just not.
Speaker 3: I mean, this is addictive substance, isn't it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, It's like I know, it doesn't matter. I'll find
Speaker 1: a way to love it, like I used to. I
Speaker 1: was telling my sister yesterday we got Starbucks, and I
Speaker 1: used to put like eight splenda, this is like two thousand,
Speaker 1: how many do you put six? I was such an
Speaker 1: anorexic and I would just go and I would have
Speaker 1: like my one latte a day, and that would be
Speaker 1: like I'll be all I ate for the day, you know,
Speaker 1: until it was like witching hour, and then I would
Speaker 1: eat all night. But like I would just have one
Speaker 1: or like two mistos because it's the cheaper version of
Speaker 1: a latte. It's half coffee, half milk, and it's probably
Speaker 1: a dollar fifty cheaper, and so I would get that,
Speaker 1: and I mean that these prices back then, it was
Speaker 1: probably like two eighty for a venty and then I
Speaker 1: would get I would put in. It started out with
Speaker 1: like two Splenda, and then it just your tolerance goes down.
Speaker 1: And I was doing like I would have to like
Speaker 1: hide it and like take do four at the bar.
Speaker 1: And then if someone saw me take four extra and
Speaker 1: like save them, it was insane and and it would
Speaker 1: never stop. It would just be like, Okay, then I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna be just snorting Splendor eventually, and so I
Speaker 1: had to back down and now I'm at now I
Speaker 1: just have one Stevia. No Splender is like super low aspartame,
Speaker 1: and then Stevia is bad. Yes, Splenda is bad. That
Speaker 1: sweete from this, I know. We were just talking about
Speaker 1: like how you are what you eat, and how I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm just so dry, like I I need
Speaker 1: to eat more fats, but I'm just so it's so
Speaker 1: ingrained in me that fat is bad because of the
Speaker 1: nineties brainwashing for diet culture that I just when I
Speaker 1: see too much fat in something, I just am too.
Speaker 3: If you're just eating an actual avocado, I literally think.
Speaker 1: The thing that okay, Like if it's guacam only and
Speaker 1: I look at the thing and it's about I literally
Speaker 1: think there will be guacam only on my thighs, Like
Speaker 1: it will be like the guacamole will go into my
Speaker 1: thigh and it will be the texture of it because
Speaker 1: it's like fat. It's just so it's so only cottage cheese.
Speaker 1: But I know, I love cottage so much, a miss.
Speaker 3: But I think, yeah, that you that it will add
Speaker 3: to a lump layer on my thought.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's she's just fatter than you'd think. I
Speaker 2: realized that the other day too. What the fuck? I
Speaker 2: thought it was healthy.
Speaker 1: You can get zero, but it is healthy because fat
Speaker 1: is healthy. But it's you can get zero. You can
Speaker 1: get non fat cottage cheese. And then that has like
Speaker 1: a lot of sugar and just bullshit.
Speaker 3: And it bullshit. Yeah, sugar is what makes you.
Speaker 1: I'm drinking coconut water right now. But it's like has
Speaker 1: kind of pulp in it, which I love. I love pulp.
Speaker 1: It's so good. I got a Trader Joe's. Let's see
Speaker 1: how much fat eight percent of my six grams of fat.
Speaker 1: That's pretty good. Saturated fat six grams saturate is the
Speaker 1: one that you don't want, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you do want you don't want trans fat?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, saturated fat's bad too, but yeah, saturated no.
Speaker 3: No, no, that's nineties, that's nineties.
Speaker 2: Really, Yes, saturated fat leads to heart disease.
Speaker 3: Incorrect.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, thankfully we don't have anyone to fact check,
Speaker 1: so we'll just leave that there for someone else to
Speaker 1: dm us later. But yeah, that's I'm gonna try to
Speaker 1: because I want to be more supple and I want
Speaker 1: to like look not so dry and husky.
Speaker 3: Yeah I'm a husk too, because I.
Speaker 1: Feel like you are what you eat. And like, if
Speaker 1: I'm eating rice cakes, I'm gonna look like a rice
Speaker 1: cake and I'm getting my hair is going to break
Speaker 1: off like rice cake.
Speaker 3: You're eating avocado, then you'll be like creamy and like salamahayak.
Speaker 1: I just want to look like I bet she eats
Speaker 1: a lot of avocados. Yeah, but you ever watch those
Speaker 1: things of like what No, you don't because you don't
Speaker 1: have a phone, but like what I eat in a
Speaker 1: day and like these influencers, Yeah, and I just don't
Speaker 1: buy it. And also it seems like I just I
Speaker 1: get I like to eat a lot, so I get
Speaker 1: sad if it's just a small little portion of toast
Speaker 1: with avocado and then I'm like, I want more food
Speaker 1: than that, Like that's done. And because I eat so fast,
Speaker 1: I need meals to take a long time, so I
Speaker 1: need like a big salad because then I'm done with
Speaker 1: my toast and I'm like, that's it, and I like
Speaker 1: my stomach isn't full yet because I ate it too fast,
Speaker 1: so I just want more.
Speaker 3: Put avocado in the salad and then put like a
Speaker 3: really fatty dressing.
Speaker 1: I hate avocado in a salad like I just hate
Speaker 1: the consistency of avocado on its own.
Speaker 3: You make it like and you blend, like make a
Speaker 3: dressing like a Green Goddess dressing, which can be vegan.
Speaker 1: But then I have to cook, and that's just stressing
Speaker 1: me out because there's like dirty bowls, and Chris has
Speaker 1: a way that he washes certain bowls, and I don't
Speaker 1: really understand the he He does the dish washer like
Speaker 1: three times a day he's washing dishes, so I don't understand.
Speaker 3: I don't eat oatmeal.
Speaker 1: I would never dishwash if I did. I just don't.
Speaker 1: I would never even.
Speaker 3: Know, especially like oatmeal which is gooey and like sticks
Speaker 3: to the edge. I don't know how you do it.
Speaker 1: Oh, I know how to do it. You just fill
Speaker 1: the bowl up with water and then you scrape it out,
Speaker 1: you like brush it off with the soapy fingsh thing,
Speaker 1: the brush thing, and then you just put in another bowl.
Speaker 1: Like I don't care if there's residue because it was mine.
Speaker 1: If it was like someone else's bowl, yeah, I might
Speaker 1: like rush brush it really hard and wipe it. But
Speaker 1: if it's me and there's still residue, just more me.
Speaker 1: But I but bacteria isn't there. And we've talked about
Speaker 1: this million times. I want to get into my birthday
Speaker 1: gifts that I got the weekend at my birthday. I
Speaker 1: have a box of a bag of them. They all
Speaker 1: fit in a bag.
Speaker 3: If you're not opened them yet, they're oh, I'm.
Speaker 1: Just consolidated them and I wanted to go through them.
Speaker 1: I got Kirsten recycled a birthday card from I gave
Speaker 1: her this when she was turning fourteen, and I don't
Speaker 1: know what we don't really get. These are a lot
Speaker 1: of inside jokes in here. But she gave me back
Speaker 1: a card I gave her when she was fourteen that
Speaker 1: said the judge, the jury, and the prosecution are ready.
Speaker 1: And it says like a courtroom you are sentenced to
Speaker 1: a fourteenth year of life. And then there's a guy
Speaker 1: that someone's dad I felt Trad, Yeah, Trad's dad used
Speaker 1: to a guy that we swam at our pool with
Speaker 1: was like he was a lawyer and he would prosecute you.
Speaker 1: And we were always making fun of him for being
Speaker 1: like he is a Southern loyal who will prosecute.
Speaker 3: Because we made fun of his son, and he said he.
Speaker 1: Will persecute, persecute, Ya's persecute, but we were prosecute. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and we might. I don't even know that he ever
Speaker 1: said it, but we just gave him that character. And
Speaker 1: then we were also we made fun of some girl
Speaker 1: in high school that she was a mistake. We thought
Speaker 1: that was funny. And so it has him saying the
Speaker 1: stikes are rosin and we need seventeen identical mistikes. I
Speaker 1: don't know what that's about. And then I drew a
Speaker 1: bunch of these girls that were a mistake. We were
Speaker 1: again we were bullies in quiet like we would talk.
Speaker 1: We had never seen it was observing, Yes, that these
Speaker 1: that girl was probably a mistake.
Speaker 3: We're analysts, yeah, like she came from she was very analyzing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she had like fluffy bangs, like kind of eighties
Speaker 1: bangs left over. I don't even know who it was.
Speaker 1: I literally don't. And then there are two Siamese cats
Speaker 1: you remember in the Risk of Cats were psychees, we
Speaker 1: are saying, and they're sexy cats, and they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: even a sneaking baby bunker, and they wanted to eat
Speaker 1: the cat, and they wanted to drink the They wanted
Speaker 1: to eat the baby or like drink the baby's milk.
Speaker 3: So they wanted to get the baby out because they
Speaker 3: used to be the joy of the family and then
Speaker 3: the baby came, so they.
Speaker 1: And so I wrote two cats that their tails are
Speaker 1: like entwined and says we will get in baby bunkie,
Speaker 1: sneak into womb plenty jelly for me and some for whom.
Speaker 1: And then there's I drew Adam Sandler and he has
Speaker 1: a yamaca on it says, get on your hanukkah, it's
Speaker 1: time for yamica. I don't know, okay. And then I
Speaker 1: had another guy that was a cool guy and he's
Speaker 1: in a room and he has jinkos on in air
Speaker 1: walks and I know their airwalks because I drew an
Speaker 1: arrow arrow that says airwalks, and there's a lava lamp
Speaker 1: and a poster that has pot on it. It just
Speaker 1: says pot and a leaf and then a black light
Speaker 1: that I wrote black light next to and a three
Speaker 1: to eleven poster and camel cigarettes and he says, h
Speaker 1: on my birthday, I get cussed stuff like guns and roses,
Speaker 1: T shirts and cool video games like Street Fighter. And
Speaker 1: then we made fun of these girls. I don't even
Speaker 1: want to say what their names are. I don't remember
Speaker 1: who they are, but blah blah blah twins, like and
Speaker 1: it's their last name, and I said, the blah blah
Speaker 1: blah twins. And then it's two girls in Lisa Frank
Speaker 1: shirts and they say how much is that doggy in
Speaker 1: the window? T tih? And then there was another girl.
Speaker 1: There's another guy and this is I can't even I
Speaker 1: can't read that one. It's it's it's too much. I can't.
Speaker 1: It's like a slightly racist I think, I don't even know,
Speaker 1: like it's not it's not good. But anyway, she just
Speaker 1: she just gave me back this card and just wrote
Speaker 1: I love you Nikki on it, so.
Speaker 3: She didn't she didn't copy it she gave it back.
Speaker 1: She just gave it back to me and instead of fourteenth,
Speaker 1: I wrote fortieth.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let me see it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, look at the back is a lack a her wrath,
Speaker 1: you know, you know what it is? Okay. So, and
Speaker 1: then my niece Poppy, I've been like negotiating with her
Speaker 1: to get more toys, you know, in cards from her,
Speaker 1: and she dictated to my sister what to write, and
Speaker 1: this is so poetic. The cover of it says, I
Speaker 1: wish you were here okay she's four five, and then
Speaker 1: on the inside it says, happy birthday, Nikki, thank you
Speaker 1: for all the toys I she were here for every
Speaker 1: day and every season. Ah, so beautiful. My dad was like,
Speaker 1: she got that from Taylor Swift, and I'm like, I
Speaker 1: don't think so, dude, I don't even know what that is.
Speaker 3: She got it from, like the birds.
Speaker 1: My sister gave me. My sister also she got me
Speaker 1: a Taylor Swift sweatshirt that Taylor Swift was a KU
Speaker 1: sweatshirt that Taylor Swift was wearing in a video that
Speaker 1: she posted and it's back ordered, so she just drew
Speaker 1: a picture of it. My sister also drew a picture
Speaker 1: of Taylor Swift and put it on the bag. Isn't
Speaker 1: that beautiful cut? And the eyes were so hard to
Speaker 1: do that she erased them so many times that they
Speaker 1: went through the paper and she had to cut out eyes,
Speaker 1: make eyes separately and paste them on, soay, she had commit.
Speaker 1: And then I got a Taylor Swift golden book, you know,
Speaker 1: like for little kids. That's from my dad's friend Steve.
Speaker 1: That was really nice. Thank you Steve Schmidt. He's a
Speaker 1: jazz musician in Cincinnati. And then I got uh. And
Speaker 1: then Chris got me Taylor's with Sweatpants, which I already
Speaker 1: got because I was like, Chris, look what I got
Speaker 1: sweatpants Torture Poets and he was like, oh god, and
Speaker 1: I go did you get these? And he was like yeah,
Speaker 1: and I was like that's okay, I want to. So
Speaker 1: we got me Taylor's with Sweat Sweatpants, and I now
Speaker 1: have the Tortured Poet's ear rings, the bracelet, two rings
Speaker 1: because my parents got me a ring and I got
Speaker 1: myself a ring. But Swift, no, they're just like it's
Speaker 1: like for the album, it's like a Torture Poets ring
Speaker 1: and then the album's called Torture Poets Department, and then
Speaker 1: Chris got me the Torture Poet's necklace, which I don't
Speaker 1: even know how he got because that thing has been
Speaker 1: on back order and I've been wanting it. So that
Speaker 1: was really exciting. And he got me the Torture Poets
Speaker 1: album and I was very excited about that. My parents, Yeah,
Speaker 1: they got me the ring. What is in here? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: it's my Holly got me a necklace. She also got
Speaker 1: me a scavenger hunt. She would she went on, Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I had to open a letter and then she
Speaker 1: would read the letter and then we it would take
Speaker 1: us to a destination. So I'll just give an example,
Speaker 1: so I'll read the first one. And so we went
Speaker 1: to like five different deff We didn't end up going
Speaker 1: to all of them. We went to three of them.
Speaker 1: But this is her poem. Today You are so much,
Speaker 1: so much Today you are forty and so much lays ahead.
Speaker 1: Your career is now soaring. Sorry if this brings you dread,
Speaker 1: but so much excitement within these years to come. Think
Speaker 1: in twenty years, Taylor may do a Dead Poet's tour.
Speaker 1: Run Taylor Swift. Sorry, Taylor, we can't see into the
Speaker 1: future to where this all leads. But since we and
Speaker 1: she she's doing a dead poets dead and she said
Speaker 1: dead poets, she's doing a torture poets.
Speaker 3: Run anyway on this shoh, but who knows.
Speaker 1: We can't see into the future where this all leads.
Speaker 1: But since we can't see forward, can we plead? Can
Speaker 1: we reflect back to days of your please? There is
Speaker 1: so much to celebrate in your life, both big and small,
Speaker 1: and for a little while, let's look back to connect
Speaker 1: some dots for us all. It seems Julie wasn't quite
Speaker 1: ready back on June first, nineteen eighty four. Let's get in.
Speaker 1: Let's get in one more game of poker before Nicole
Speaker 1: Renet takes the floor. Okay, so my mom told us
Speaker 1: on Friday Night, all my friends that when I was born,
Speaker 1: when I was she was going into labor. She didn't
Speaker 1: want she didn't want to be a mom yet, so
Speaker 1: she stopped at her brother's house where he was having
Speaker 1: a poker game and played a couple hands of poker,
Speaker 1: and they were like, you need to leave, like you're
Speaker 1: getting water all over the floor, and so she and
Speaker 1: then she also said that when she was in labor,
Speaker 1: she kept saying she wanted to jump out the window. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: because she just wasn't ready to be a mom.
Speaker 3: How old was she She was young twenty.
Speaker 1: Five, But she really explains a lot of I came
Speaker 1: into this world with my mom wanting to jump out
Speaker 1: of the window before, and that's not the true. She
Speaker 1: was very happy that she had me, A small blonde
Speaker 1: with great tits. Could be what the doc could could
Speaker 1: be what the doc said. Nicky has always been a stunner.
Speaker 1: The Glazers were parents for the first time to a daughter.
Speaker 1: Oh this is rhyme. Sorry, moving on a few years
Speaker 1: when when something came? When when a young sister came
Speaker 1: young Lauren Jane two two were The two were friends
Speaker 1: until they were not. And in those moments, boy could
Speaker 1: they rage. Teenage years were rough, They'd tell you, lots
Speaker 1: of screaming and fighting as kids. Though they had built
Speaker 1: in friendships. They had built in friend and each other
Speaker 1: to confide in. Ooh before acne embraces and the Glazers
Speaker 1: were an Ohio breed. Maybe they'd have stayed forever with
Speaker 1: the without with no real plans to leave. But as
Speaker 1: fate would have it, you know, there's no will. That's true,
Speaker 1: that's free. EJ was offered a job in Saint Louis
Speaker 1: with Charter Cable TV, so the family was relocated to
Speaker 1: a city down the river. They moved to Saint Louis.
Speaker 1: Had they been there before? Who knew? Maybe never. Let's
Speaker 1: take a Let's take a jog down memory lane and
Speaker 1: see where all this started, where Nikki became the woman
Speaker 1: she is a generous, hilarious starlett Key. Happy birthday with
Speaker 1: an amazing friend. Thank you for gathering us all here
Speaker 1: to celebrate, hang and sing. And then so we went
Speaker 1: to Blaze Avenue, which is where I was. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: then we and then then she read another thing there
Speaker 1: that took us to my elementary school and then high
Speaker 1: school and then the emos where we worked, and it
Speaker 1: was just such Me and Crison worked and there's tons
Speaker 1: of side jokes. No, we didn't go to emos, we
Speaker 1: didn't have time. But we did go to our old
Speaker 1: high school. And I went past the window where they
Speaker 1: would always post like the castings for the plays because
Speaker 1: you would have to go on the weekend. You would
Speaker 1: audition during the week and then on the weekend on Sunday,
Speaker 1: he would finally post the cast list and you would
Speaker 1: go up to the school and look at the window
Speaker 1: to see if you made it, and there were so
Speaker 1: many that window. I cried so many times at that
Speaker 1: window because I just didn't see my name or it
Speaker 1: was just at the very bottom for some you know,
Speaker 1: townsperson role and what else. If my sister worked there
Speaker 1: until this year. So that's uh, she she was working
Speaker 1: there for ten years. And I'm gonna be in the
Speaker 1: Hall of Flame Flame hall of Fame at uh Kirkwood
Speaker 1: Eye School coming up. They're inducting me in February. Yes,
Speaker 1: there's a hall of fame and I all know. But
Speaker 1: it was a huge like I had to like be
Speaker 1: submitted and have to send in all of this stuff,
Speaker 1: and I was kind of like what am I doing?
Speaker 1: Like Halla's dad was our principal and so he was
Speaker 1: the one that spearheaded it and was like, you need
Speaker 1: to send me this and this, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I have any of that. What
Speaker 1: volunteer work have you done? I'm like I don't. I've
Speaker 1: made a lot of money for animals. Here's my peda campaign.
Speaker 1: And then he jerked off and then send it in
Speaker 1: and then not gonna eat and say that. But uh yeah,
Speaker 1: so that's all happening. It was a really fun weekend.
Speaker 1: We'll get to more of it when we come back
Speaker 1: after this.
Speaker 2: Who else is in the Hall of Fame.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good question. I mean, I don't he
Speaker 1: Scott Bacula went to my high school.
Speaker 2: What is Scott?
Speaker 3: What is the disease?
Speaker 1: He was? He was the quantum leap. I think you're
Speaker 1: too young. You're too young to know. I was even
Speaker 1: too young at the.
Speaker 3: Time to haughty. My mom was in love with him.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, she went to high school with him, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah. We have a picture of him at her house.
Speaker 3: He's like really small on a football field. My mom
Speaker 3: took a picture of him because it was such a haughty.
Speaker 1: I think you'll know. Uh Maclin, what's his last name?
Speaker 2: Jeremy Macklin.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Jeremy Macklin. There Roshawn Mackels, wide receiver.
Speaker 2: Jeremy Macklin.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there you go. Wow, Okay, here's here's Scott Bagula
Speaker 1: class in nineteen seventy three. Dylan Brady, he's the member
Speaker 1: of the musical duo one hundred gets. I don't know
Speaker 1: what that college X Colin Donald, which I've talked about before.
Speaker 1: He is in the The Affair on Showtime. He's in
Speaker 1: Chicago grade Colin Donald. Yeah, he was my first date.
Speaker 1: We went to go see the Barnaked Ladies at the
Speaker 1: Keel Center. I didn't know it was a date.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what do you mean?
Speaker 1: But until later and then I was like, oh, I
Speaker 1: think this was a date that you said we did
Speaker 1: play together. Yeah. He was always so good and he
Speaker 1: still is.
Speaker 3: Let's see, he's a real actor now.
Speaker 1: Defensive coordinator for the Washington Huskies football. William Ingey, Kyle Hawkins,
Speaker 1: prominent men's lacrosse team coach and gay rights pioneer. Okay,
Speaker 1: Marcus Harris American football player. Do you know that is
Speaker 1: Jeremy Macklin class of two thousand and six. I can't
Speaker 1: believe you know who Jeremy Macklin is. That's pretty cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's pretty cool to know who he is.
Speaker 1: There's someone named Slater with three why's, and he's a singer. Wow,
Speaker 1: and he was born in nineteen six, nineteen oh Catherine
Speaker 1: Grace Garner, professionally known as Slator. Hell, yeah, nineteen ninety six. Okay.
Speaker 2: They're leading pretty heavily into athletics in the arts. There's
Speaker 2: not a lot of like I found the cure for
Speaker 2: diabetes two or whatever. I invented a type of car
Speaker 2: part that makes the horsepower go.
Speaker 1: No, it's all NFL players. Oh, David Sanborn class of
Speaker 1: nineteen sixty three Grammy Award winning recording Artists and musician Born.
Speaker 1: It's yeah, there's no no one discovered anything. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: from our school.
Speaker 2: Feels like it feels like they neglected to include people
Speaker 2: who have like achieved things in business or science. Except
Speaker 2: for that one gay rights activist. There's only athletes and
Speaker 2: an artist.
Speaker 1: But with Wikipedia, doesn't don't be a want to like
Speaker 1: submit it, so like no one just knows what you know,
Speaker 1: Discoveries are being made. Someone could have discovered a new
Speaker 1: species of bark and they wouldn't care. No one care.
Speaker 2: Oh this is I thought. This is a hall of
Speaker 2: fame that your school was putting. This is in your
Speaker 2: Wikipedia page.
Speaker 1: That's what Well, I just looked it up. This is it.
Speaker 1: I don't know who's in the hall of Okay, let's
Speaker 1: look at the actual hall of fame, Kirkwood High School
Speaker 1: Hall of Fame.
Speaker 3: That was just notable Kirkwood. Yeah, okay, I.
Speaker 1: Don't think Maclin's in yet, but he should be.
Speaker 3: I was like Slater or is in this hall of fame.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, there's an athletics Hall of Fame and outstanding alumni. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's see. Oh no, this is about how to submit.
Speaker 1: So it's not even listed anywhere.
Speaker 3: You might be the first one in it.
Speaker 1: No, there's others. There's look at I'm looking at like
Speaker 1: there's been a ceremonies and stuff.
Speaker 3: I oh the ceremony.
Speaker 1: I'm going to coaches athletes. Greg Warren, Hey, yeah, Greg
Speaker 1: Warren went to my high school and it looks like
Speaker 1: he was inducted last year. Okay, so my friend Greg Warren,
Speaker 1: he can set me, you can walk me through the process.
Speaker 1: He is i think eighteen years older than seventeen years older. Yes,
Speaker 1: and he discovered a new type of.
Speaker 2: Atomic un sponge. Yes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was doing work in a submarine for a
Speaker 1: while and discovered that. So that's pretty cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean it does feel good though, like to get
Speaker 1: record like that actually meant something to me more than
Speaker 1: most things of like, okay, good my high school, because
Speaker 1: that's what inspires all this. We were talking about Enneagram
Speaker 1: this weekend as we always do, and like my shock
Speaker 1: at how like a is not like most musicians, musicians
Speaker 1: and actors. I'm like, I'm just like, why aren't they
Speaker 1: all threes? Because why would you want to create art
Speaker 1: unless it was to get people to like you? No,
Speaker 1: that's a three mind, I know, but like, what would
Speaker 1: inspire anyone to do it otherwise?
Speaker 2: You express that's.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but okay, okay, Well here's the thing that's no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: here's I'll poke a hole in it. Then why don't
Speaker 1: you just fucking sing in your room alone? Why do
Speaker 1: you have to disseminate it?
Speaker 2: Why do you kind of has that trait of hers
Speaker 2: because she doesn't really want it. She didn't want to
Speaker 2: break through and achieve sort of commercial success, so she says, so.
Speaker 1: She I put out an album at all for money.
Speaker 1: I mean, this is not.
Speaker 3: Even the main reason. The main reason is because you're
Speaker 3: doing it and then people are telling you it's good
Speaker 3: and then you can make money. But you're not doing
Speaker 3: it specifically to get.
Speaker 1: I understand that now because I don't care about making
Speaker 1: money and people like me anymore. But I think initially
Speaker 1: I don't understand why, like now that I'm having like
Speaker 1: I just had a meeting with a production company yesterday,
Speaker 1: and I wasn't trying to sound cool, but I was like,
Speaker 1: I just don't want to do anything. I don't need
Speaker 1: to do anything. I don't want to stand in a
Speaker 1: trailer all day. I don't want to write scripts that
Speaker 1: I'm not inspired by. I just I don't. The only
Speaker 1: reason I want to do something is if it's fun,
Speaker 1: and it's like, actually is getting a message out there
Speaker 1: that I feel like is good? And I'm like, oh wait,
Speaker 1: maybe I'm like kind of transitioning out of three.
Speaker 3: You're just not focusing on the main three.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, Brian always says that you're not a traditional
Speaker 1: three because I don't I'm not showy with things.
Speaker 2: Well that would make you more of a seven. But
Speaker 2: I think what you know about enneagrams, yeah, only recently
Speaker 2: because we were talking about it because of it. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: but now I'm really into it. And yes, I think
Speaker 2: I do think you're a three. I think that you
Speaker 2: maybe mask some of your threes with like things that
Speaker 2: sevens might say. But I think deeps down inside your.
Speaker 3: Seveny I thought she was a seven at first.
Speaker 1: What's a seven?
Speaker 3: Sevens have like the dilettants have like lots of different
Speaker 3: things that they pursue, lots of different interests, so they
Speaker 3: can be scattered.
Speaker 2: But sevens are like a thrill seeker. They get bored easily.
Speaker 2: That's why that's another element of being a seven for
Speaker 2: you is that you want to jump from thing to
Speaker 2: think the thing because you get bored. I have something,
Speaker 2: you want to just keep moving doing the next thing
Speaker 2: and keep things exciting. But then, but then sevens don't
Speaker 2: really care about getting outside approval if it's boring. So
Speaker 2: like if you receive an award that you don't really
Speaker 2: care about, Like if let's say you receive an award
Speaker 2: for like, I don't.
Speaker 1: Know, hall of Fame at Kirkwod High School.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like you're receiving a ward like hall of Fame
Speaker 2: at Kirkward High School. A seven would be like would
Speaker 2: maybe not even show up to the ceremony, right, but
Speaker 2: three would relish the opportunity to be applauded by all
Speaker 2: of his I don't like the I.
Speaker 1: Don't like to be applauded because I'm embarrassed of it
Speaker 1: and I think that it's undeserved. I really I don't
Speaker 1: feel I don't like hearing your colicious credit but I
Speaker 1: do want. I want everyone to I'm amazing, but I
Speaker 1: don't want to hear about.
Speaker 3: The three is three ever if you're trying to get
Speaker 3: out of it.
Speaker 1: I like being a three. Taylor switches three. I want
Speaker 1: to be a three. They're called the achiever who doesn't
Speaker 1: want everyone wants to be a three.
Speaker 3: I think I don't want to be a three at all.
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't you want to be a three because I don't.
Speaker 1: I know listeners are being like Nikki because everyone wants
Speaker 1: to be here. But I don't think that.
Speaker 3: Three coming from the mindset of a three. When you're
Speaker 3: asking these questions, well the.
Speaker 1: Point of like everyone when you fill out the when
Speaker 1: you take the anagram quiz or whatever, you're instantly like
Speaker 1: why but everyone answers this one? Like you think everyone's
Speaker 1: going to be like you.
Speaker 3: Know, you just you want there's different like kind of
Speaker 3: I want to have, like people recognize that I'm smart.
Speaker 3: I want everyone to say you like the enneagram. First,
Speaker 3: good job for getting us into the enneagram.
Speaker 1: That's important to you.
Speaker 3: Yes, I don't want people thank you for that.
Speaker 1: That is true. You did get us into it. I
Speaker 1: did consult the book that you gave me you were,
Speaker 1: I will say I did.
Speaker 3: And I want people to say you're right. I don't
Speaker 3: want people to want to be right or like I
Speaker 3: want to be acknowledged for my brain.
Speaker 1: Okay, you want like a library after you on like
Speaker 1: a black.
Speaker 3: I want people to be yes, good job, Brian. Wow.
Speaker 3: I want people to say everything that you've been working
Speaker 3: so hard on has a value. But I don't want
Speaker 3: any I want that or any attention. But it's just
Speaker 3: mine is So it's a scale. So like your threehood
Speaker 3: is much heavier than that. You're going to have different
Speaker 3: different parts.
Speaker 2: That makes sense, you're and you know what else makes
Speaker 2: you a five tailor is that you have uh you
Speaker 2: waver between different sides of morality based on what's practical.
Speaker 2: So like I'll take the ern because why wouldn't I
Speaker 2: take the earth? You know, like stuff like that is
Speaker 2: very practical thinking, regardless of what side of the morality is,
Speaker 2: which is a very five thing to do.
Speaker 3: I have my own, yeah, my own ethical code that
Speaker 3: has nothing to do with anyone other anybody else, and
Speaker 3: I follow it very strongly.
Speaker 1: And then ones have their or following ethical that follow
Speaker 1: the rules the ones that okay.
Speaker 3: So wait, let me, think what Brian is. I think
Speaker 3: Brian is a seven. No, I don't know, you.
Speaker 2: Know, because the seven would be a thrill seeker and
Speaker 2: there's nothing I want less than thrills.
Speaker 1: You like to go to national parks, that's so thrilling,
Speaker 1: and that's like and if you like to go on hike.
Speaker 2: But what is motivating me to go to these parks.
Speaker 1: To scratch off the list of I went to that
Speaker 1: park exactly? Okay, so what is that five?
Speaker 2: No? That makes me? That makes me one? Yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: a perfectionist. I'm going to I'm not going to the parks.
Speaker 2: I want to go to all sixty three parks.
Speaker 1: Yes, God, but when you get there, aren't you like?
Speaker 1: And why pick parks though?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 2: Why then when I go to the park, I have
Speaker 2: a complete uh itinerary that I'm that I follow, so
Speaker 2: I make sure that I hit everything that to make
Speaker 2: the to maximize my trip to the park, which is
Speaker 2: a very one thing to do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good point.
Speaker 3: Chris is also one.
Speaker 1: Chris is a one. Yes, he yes, he likes crystals travel.
Speaker 1: Chris is very black and white one like things are wrong,
Speaker 1: people are bad, or people are and he would not
Speaker 1: say this that he realizes that there is a gray area.
Speaker 1: But I think his initial instinct is that if he
Speaker 1: had a rough time when I would say, like, you know,
Speaker 1: for instance, my ex boy, I can't even call him
Speaker 1: a boyfriend. But Pete Lee, I like, he broke my heart.
Speaker 1: I hated him for years, and when I met Chris,
Speaker 1: I still hated Pete, and so I talked about him
Speaker 1: in a way that was just like, he broke my heart.
Speaker 1: He cheated on his girlfriend with me, and then he
Speaker 1: chose her over me, and then he married her, and
Speaker 1: then I'm so glad they. I just made this whole
Speaker 1: story up about how awful he was. And then when
Speaker 1: Chris and I broke up. In that time we were
Speaker 1: broken up, I became friends with Pete again. And then
Speaker 1: when Chris and I got back together, I was like,
Speaker 1: Pete's great, and he was like, no, he's bad.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, I have everyone so many chances you
Speaker 3: and I.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, no, like you please, I can forgive anyone,
Speaker 1: and he's forgivable. And honestly, I was the problem in
Speaker 1: that scenario. And he's just like, I don't get that,
Speaker 1: like in my mind he was bad. It's hard for
Speaker 1: me to just suddenly let go of all that when
Speaker 1: in my mind he was in this category and so
Speaker 1: that's hard for him to transition.
Speaker 2: Well, the reason why you can forgive anybody is because
Speaker 2: three's main goal is to get approval from others, and
Speaker 2: so any if anybody disapproves of you, you will fight
Speaker 2: to get their approval, even if they're bad.
Speaker 1: Ooh yeah. I mean I definitely have nightmares where my
Speaker 1: mom witnesses me be nice to Donald Trump and she's
Speaker 1: just disgusted with me, even though she would do the
Speaker 1: same thing, because I believe she's of a three.
Speaker 3: Is like, you know what, maybe you weren't so bad.
Speaker 1: And I used to have a joke that I if I
Speaker 1: you know, they always say like, if you had a
Speaker 1: time machine, go back and kill Hitler. And I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go do that. And then I come back
Speaker 1: from the time machine and they're like did you kill him?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, uh yeah, yeah, and they're like, wait,
Speaker 1: why what's that And I'm like nothing, and they're like
Speaker 1: what are you holding And I'm like it's his autograph.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I just wanted to like he's scary, and
Speaker 1: I wanted to like me, Like, I want everyone to
Speaker 1: like me, even if they're bad, Like I feel like, also,
Speaker 1: if someone's really evil and they like me, I feel like,
Speaker 1: Oh now I have power over them, and I can
Speaker 1: do something to control the power. I can get in
Speaker 1: there and maybe convince them to not be so bad.
Speaker 2: Well, you know, Trump's probably a three. Also.
Speaker 1: Oh absolutely, so you guys are both Yeah, but he
Speaker 1: is also associated. He doesn't have.
Speaker 2: I have a challenger.
Speaker 1: Oh really, yeah, okay, good. I don't want to be him,
Speaker 1: I will say. Can I report a story that happened
Speaker 1: over the weekend that was so it kind of talks
Speaker 1: about this threeness of wanting them to like me? This
Speaker 1: guy I was walking into Starbucks, because where else am
Speaker 1: I walking into? It's like one of two places, my
Speaker 1: bedroom or Starbucks. I was walking in and I was
Speaker 1: really distracted. I was on my phone and I was
Speaker 1: answering an email I just couldn't get to while I
Speaker 1: was driving, obviously, So as soon as I got done driving,
Speaker 1: I'm like in this email and I'm walking with my
Speaker 1: phone blindly into the store. I opened the door. The
Speaker 1: door pushes into the restaurant, so it opens in right.
Speaker 1: The door is er in and I'm step one foot
Speaker 1: into the restaurant and I see that there's a guy
Speaker 1: like right about to leave, right like, so I kind
Speaker 1: of like as he was about to pull the door,
Speaker 1: I pushed it. So he's right there. What would you
Speaker 1: do in that circumstance there's some one right there, Oh
Speaker 1: you out of the store? Or do you quickly go
Speaker 1: around him and go sorry?
Speaker 3: Go around him and go sorry because you're already in.
Speaker 1: The store, right you have the right of way, Like
Speaker 1: you're a car that pulled out too soon and you're like, fuck,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. You just instead of backing up and being
Speaker 1: like like making a big you just go faster around.
Speaker 3: I would say sorry like ten times, yeah, to be fair,
Speaker 3: but I would go around.
Speaker 1: Okay, So that's what I did. I just go oh, sorry,
Speaker 1: and I and I quickly scowed it, and I even
Speaker 1: pushed the door out so he would have a little
Speaker 1: like he wouldn't have to get it again, you know,
Speaker 1: like I like flung the door so he would get it.
Speaker 1: And then I quickly went in front of him and
Speaker 1: around and neither is ideal because I was walking blindly
Speaker 1: looking at my phone, and he goes, oh, that's how
Speaker 1: it's gonna be. And by the way, this guy was
Speaker 1: carrying one drink in a tray, like he had a
Speaker 1: tray for four drinks and he had one drink and
Speaker 1: and he was maybe wearing a poly hat. Taylor has
Speaker 1: defined people that are poly amorous relationships that they wear
Speaker 1: poly hats, which are like us or a newsboy.
Speaker 3: How it's uh extra extra Yeah, yeah, why if you
Speaker 3: were it's it's a flat.
Speaker 2: Cap, a flat cap.
Speaker 3: It's not it's newsboys. But yeah, you could wear fedora
Speaker 3: if you wanted to.
Speaker 1: He had a fedora. What were you gonna say, Brian, if.
Speaker 2: You're feel like those people have don't have sex at all?
Speaker 3: I know, but some I know, why are they Polly
Speaker 3: when they don't?
Speaker 1: We call it poly hats for some? Because Taylor was
Speaker 1: like oop, like she was just really going nuts on
Speaker 1: Polly's the couple of years because.
Speaker 3: My partner was saying they wanted to be Polly.
Speaker 1: Well, if you want to reveal those okay, people.
Speaker 3: Were gonna come into my house wearing those hats. What
Speaker 3: how No?
Speaker 1: Wait, okay, I recently was like, am I Polly? And
Speaker 1: I was so disgusted with the idea of being Polly?
Speaker 1: Because you have made them out to be so.
Speaker 3: I mean, you see, I'm sure there's plenty of Polly
Speaker 3: people that are fine, but they're are also a large portion.
Speaker 3: You have to admit that wear those hats.
Speaker 1: I don't know that. Oh my god. We're watching We're
Speaker 1: watching a couple's therapy on Showtime, which is like Anya's
Speaker 1: favorite show. It's this woman who's a therapist named Orna,
Speaker 1: and she talks to these couples and this season there's
Speaker 1: a poly couple. And guess what the woman who's in
Speaker 1: the poly relationship does for a living?
Speaker 3: I mean therapist?
Speaker 1: No, no, no, Like it's around what you were just saying, like,
Speaker 1: what's the crazy, Like if you're writing a character of
Speaker 1: a woman who's in a poly relationship.
Speaker 4: Rope walker, My god, she's a circus. See I know
Speaker 4: about Polly just from analyzing my whole life.
Speaker 1: It does like archery with her feet, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. From a trappie and she's so poly and
Speaker 1: like she'll have a braid and it'll it's this really long,
Speaker 1: lustious braid, but you'll put a wire through it so
Speaker 1: that it'll go like so the braid will like be
Speaker 1: zig zaggy.
Speaker 2: Now I feel like I feel like you're allowed to
Speaker 2: make fun of polly people because you choose to be poly.
Speaker 2: It's not like gay or just like born that.
Speaker 3: Way and you're born that way.
Speaker 1: I would say, they say they're born.
Speaker 2: That way, they're born. That's a lifestyle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, they're not conforming to monogamy.
Speaker 2: But it's still a choice.
Speaker 1: It's not like we all probably are poly and we're
Speaker 1: all conformed.
Speaker 3: Maybe it's a trait of your personality, it's not it's
Speaker 3: on a disability.
Speaker 2: No, but well not, it's not a sexuality. I don't
Speaker 2: think it's not sexuality. I think it's a life that
Speaker 2: It's like, you could choose to be emo. You're not
Speaker 2: born emo. Maybe you feel like your emo the same
Speaker 2: thing as you can make fun of an EMO person
Speaker 2: because they chose that, and or you can celebrate them
Speaker 2: if you want to.
Speaker 1: Well, I will say it leads to some pretty celebrating,
Speaker 1: dynamic things. That's just how well in a poly relationship,
Speaker 1: they have like a primary partner, but they've changed the
Speaker 1: name to anchor so that it doesn't have a hierarchy ranking,
Speaker 1: which makes sense to me. Anchors on the bottom scrapes
Speaker 1: this poly guy with a tray that had one drink
Speaker 1: in it. I'll tell you what happen after we get
Speaker 1: back from r Okay. So this poly guy is.
Speaker 2: I don't know, he's only got one drink.
Speaker 3: How hesist and he doesn't get other.
Speaker 2: He just believes he should have many partners and no
Speaker 2: one should care.
Speaker 1: Why would anyone carry one drink in a tray? I
Speaker 1: need to know this because on the edge fill, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just don't understand what was happening there.
Speaker 3: But that's how it's gonna be.
Speaker 1: He goes, that's how it's gonna be. And he looked
Speaker 1: he just seemed like he had like a weird mustache,
Speaker 1: and he just seemed like he seemed like it like
Speaker 1: someone who builds sets in high school musical. You gotta
Speaker 1: be Cary'll know what they're like.
Speaker 2: You gotta be careful, Nikki with these interactions, because any
Speaker 2: one of these interactions could turn into an article where
Speaker 2: she did drink.
Speaker 1: That is not why I wasn't a bit in the scenario.
Speaker 1: It was not on my mind that I could be recognized.
Speaker 1: It's not at that level yet, But I will say
Speaker 1: that I just was like, I'm trying. I saw this
Speaker 1: fucking Reeal a couple of weeks ago, and I think
Speaker 1: I've talked about it already, but it said, what if
Speaker 1: you let everyone off the hook for everything?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: I always what if you did this? What if you
Speaker 1: let yourself off the hook for things? What if you
Speaker 1: left your husband off the hook for that thing? He
Speaker 1: didn't do the thing he said. I mean, honestly, like,
Speaker 1: what if you let everyone off the hook? Like, just
Speaker 1: try what would happen? And I've been trying to do
Speaker 1: it more consciously when I find myself getting into but.
Speaker 2: You already to do it, that's like something you don't
Speaker 2: need help with you already?
Speaker 1: No, I know, I hold onto things and I'm like,
Speaker 1: why could they do this? If if they behave that
Speaker 1: way I'm talking about my relationship, then I can't be
Speaker 1: with someone that ever would say like this. I just
Speaker 1: go like, that's gonna be my whole life? Is that
Speaker 1: someone that didn't even notice that I got a haircut
Speaker 1: and he did notice and he didn't say the right
Speaker 1: like shit like that. That's not that's just example I'm
Speaker 1: making up. But like I go into like if they
Speaker 1: have it's again they've show they're just I kind of
Speaker 1: get into one territory. If they're like they're bad, I can't.
Speaker 3: Can you think about it and analyze the situation?
Speaker 1: And then I just go, wait, what the fuck? I
Speaker 1: am so fucked up. There's so many things about my
Speaker 1: personality that I would never recommend anyone being in a relationship.
Speaker 1: If they said that this partner was this and this,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, get away from her. So, but you
Speaker 1: got to forgive people for things, and no one, literally
Speaker 1: no one's going to be perfect. And I know that
Speaker 1: everyone is supposed to know that, but I just kind
Speaker 1: of didn't know it until recently. But I've just been
Speaker 1: letting things go. I just like let I don't, especially
Speaker 1: in my relationship, things that used to bother me. I'm
Speaker 1: just like doing what this girl said in this real
Speaker 1: and saying, like, what if I just let him off
Speaker 1: the hook for that, Let's try for the next minute
Speaker 1: to let him off the hook. And then a minute
Speaker 1: later I don't remember what he even was, or if
Speaker 1: I do, I go, let me do one more minute
Speaker 1: of letting him off the hook. Oh I'm still mad
Speaker 1: about it. Okay, maybe I do need to talk about it.
Speaker 1: So this guy, so because I've been doing it consciously
Speaker 1: it's been happening quicker, you know, like I can just
Speaker 1: go to it quickert. So this guy goes, oh, that's
Speaker 1: how it's gonna be, and he thought I wasn't gonna
Speaker 1: say anything. He kind of said it under his breath
Speaker 1: in a way that I maybe wouldn't hear my my
Speaker 1: earphones were in, but he didn't know I wasn't listening
Speaker 1: to anything. So I go, yeah, it is. I go,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, and he goes, I go, I was on
Speaker 1: my phone, so I didn't see you. I literally didn't.
Speaker 1: I would never have stepped in front of you. I
Speaker 1: didn't see you because I was on my phone. He goes,
Speaker 1: you know what, and that's the problem that right there
Speaker 1: was probably go off the hook no, And I go,
Speaker 1: it is a problem. This is a problem, and thank
Speaker 1: you for reminding I needed this reminder that I need
Speaker 1: to get out of my phone. I go, thank you
Speaker 1: for this lesson today, and he just like baffled and confused,
Speaker 1: just mumbled to himself and walked out like it was
Speaker 1: completely diffused. He couldn't tell if I was being a
Speaker 1: bit or not, because I couldn't even tell because saying
Speaker 1: thank you for this lesson sounds sarcastic, but it actually
Speaker 1: was like I was two in my phone, like this
Speaker 1: isn't well.
Speaker 2: You think, thank you for this lesson, professor genius. Then
Speaker 2: you've curtseyed it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, over the edge. But he didn't know what
Speaker 1: to do and it could have escalated. But wow, my
Speaker 1: adrenaline went up so much with that confutation. Holy fuck,
Speaker 1: my body felt like it was on fire.
Speaker 3: I feel like I actually have seen red when somebody
Speaker 3: just says something stupid.
Speaker 1: It's crazy. But we never really confront anyone like That's
Speaker 1: why we can just be We're so divided. I think
Speaker 1: because we can just be assholes all the time in
Speaker 1: our cars and we and online and we never actually
Speaker 1: talked to one another. We see each other side of things,
Speaker 1: and that's what I did in that moment. I felt
Speaker 1: like it really helped.
Speaker 2: Sing each other side of things. Is definitely something. But
Speaker 2: I confront people constantly. Yeah, I feel like that's another
Speaker 2: three things to think is that you don't you don't
Speaker 2: I always confront people.
Speaker 3: Do you do it like snarky or do you just
Speaker 3: like face to face goes.
Speaker 2: You're out their side to argue my side and I
Speaker 2: try to convince them of my side.
Speaker 1: Yes. Well, final thought, one time Brian and I got
Speaker 1: into a really intense like argument like debate. I'd say
Speaker 1: it was a debate about free will. No no, no is
Speaker 1: in front of It was on f Boy Island, which
Speaker 1: he was writing on and producing on, and so he
Speaker 1: was in It was in my dressing room, pretty much
Speaker 1: my room that I was living in over the summer,
Speaker 1: and my makeup and stylast girls were in the room
Speaker 1: and they were just like so awkward because they were like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, this is getting so heated. But Brian
Speaker 1: and I were like thriving in it.
Speaker 3: It doesn't happen. It's scary to have so much.
Speaker 1: Fun with it. What was the last time you confronted someone? Brian?
Speaker 2: Well, I mean I call my friend robster in almost
Speaker 2: every day and then we argue about something every phone call.
Speaker 1: Do you ever walk away from that having your mind changed?
Speaker 2: Rarely? I think nine times out of ten, my mind's
Speaker 2: not changed, but everyone out of ten it is.
Speaker 3: It's his Enneagram number.
Speaker 2: I've been thinking about that and I can't figure it out.
Speaker 3: Because that's an interesting Send them a quiz.
Speaker 1: Well, I this weekend talked to a friend of mine
Speaker 1: about like something with her and her husband, and she
Speaker 1: she was like when she loses things all the time
Speaker 1: and misplaces her own stuff. So she lost her wallet
Speaker 1: for a couple of weeks because she acidentally put it
Speaker 1: in her daughter's bag, like her backpack when she was cleaning,
Speaker 1: like you know, just like eighty D stuff. Yeah, forgot it.
Speaker 1: Obviously didn't know she put it in there, would never
Speaker 1: even looked, but that's where it ended up being for
Speaker 1: like three weeks and then they eventually found it. But
Speaker 1: in that three weeks, he lent her his credit card
Speaker 1: because she was trying. She knew she didn't like it,
Speaker 1: didn't get stolen, her wallet was gonna show up, so
Speaker 1: she used this credit card and then he can I
Speaker 1: get my credit card back? And she looked in her
Speaker 1: bag that she put it in and she was like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's not here. I'll find it. And he was just
Speaker 1: like he kind of blew up, like how do you
Speaker 1: keep losing everything? And now you've lost my thing? And
Speaker 1: he's like, you need to be better about this, and
Speaker 1: she's just like, I am the way I am, Like
Speaker 1: I can't remember to remember things. And I said, well,
Speaker 1: maybe you ask him for help. I'm like if this
Speaker 1: was happening with me and Chris. Chris would be like,
Speaker 1: I'll get you a little like sensor to put in
Speaker 1: your wallet so that you can have an app on
Speaker 1: your phone. Chris would find a way that fits the
Speaker 1: way I think. But instead her husband was just like,
Speaker 1: just think more like I do. And she's like, well,
Speaker 1: I don't have the same brain as you, and they don't.
Speaker 1: They just come do a like you know ahead, and
Speaker 1: then she gets really defensive, like I didn't mean to
Speaker 1: and you know what, You're so mean, and like she
Speaker 1: gets immediately defensive. So then I told her to do
Speaker 1: the thing that I always do with Chris, which is
Speaker 1: like or like with really anyone i'm arguing with, especially
Speaker 1: my sister. When we used to fight. I used to
Speaker 1: she used to say I hate you, and I would say,
Speaker 1: I know exactly how you feel because I hate you.
Speaker 1: She'd be like, I literally wouldn't care if you died,
Speaker 1: and I was like, Lauren, it's so weird because I
Speaker 1: know that exact feeling, like I want you to die,
Speaker 1: and she's like, I want you to die, and we'd
Speaker 1: like find a common ground, but I was like, your
Speaker 1: husband is getting just as frustrated. He can't believe when
Speaker 1: you lose his credit card, he's thinking you don't love
Speaker 1: him like you you are taking his property and being
Speaker 1: like willy nilly with it. You're so when you don't
Speaker 1: put that credit card back in a place you know
Speaker 1: it will be found, you're not caring about him. And
Speaker 1: that's what it feels like. And so when he yells
Speaker 1: at you about this the way that you feel like,
Speaker 1: how could he yell at me like this? How can
Speaker 1: he talk to me like this? That's so disrespectful. It's
Speaker 1: literally the same way he feels about you losing his
Speaker 1: credit card. And you both don't mean to do it
Speaker 1: to each other, because no one really wants to make
Speaker 1: someone else feel horrible unless you know, but it is
Speaker 1: a shaming thing, like the shame. But she was like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's a good point. Just try to see from their perspective,
Speaker 1: because generally, if you're frustrated with someone, they're just as
Speaker 1: frustrated with you, and you have that in common. And
Speaker 1: that's helped me. Like that guy hated me as much
Speaker 1: as I hated.
Speaker 3: Him for and I don't understand what the problem.
Speaker 1: But because I just like cut in front of I
Speaker 1: didn't see him and that guy is aging. He's probably
Speaker 1: not be he never got seen by women. Here's another woman,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, forty, I'm about to not be seen.
Speaker 2: The technology thing probably pisses him off too, that everyone's
Speaker 2: down their phones now.
Speaker 1: And yeah, that's another thing.
Speaker 3: In New York.
Speaker 2: When I lived in New York City, there there were
Speaker 2: people who would paint on the sidewalk look up, like said,
Speaker 2: to get you to like stop looking down at your phone.
Speaker 1: Sorry, I'm looking at my phone on the sidewalk.
Speaker 3: Yeah, not looking at your shoes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, emo there. And then there's this other thing I've
Speaker 1: been doing that. I mean, there are some things you
Speaker 1: get from your phone that have been helpful. I think
Speaker 1: I shared this too, but I guess I'll just repeat it.
Speaker 1: But when I'm really having a hard time, if you
Speaker 1: talk to yourself in third person, it's supposed to really work,
Speaker 1: oh as opposed to saying like you've got this, like
Speaker 1: keep going, Like when I'm in these really hard, stupid
Speaker 1: pilates classes and I'm like I want to give up.
Speaker 1: I just go, Nicki, you can do this. Nikki, You're amazing. Nicki,
Speaker 1: I say Niki in my head, and so in that
Speaker 1: is supposed to. There's been studies that motivate you so
Speaker 1: much more if you say your name and you talk
Speaker 1: to yourself like you're a friend, yeah, you sting than
Speaker 1: if you just are like good job you or whatever.
Speaker 2: I concur I agree with this statement. I feel like
Speaker 2: it works for you that I call myself Brie even
Speaker 2: which is like a oh that's loving. Yeah, I go,
Speaker 2: come on, Briy, you can do this.
Speaker 1: When have you done that to your like working out
Speaker 1: you're talking about or like when when do you need
Speaker 1: to do that?
Speaker 2: The last time I recall doing it was when I
Speaker 2: was I was confronting death in the shower again and
Speaker 2: I was screaming, and then I said, Briy, you just
Speaker 2: got to stop thinking about it. Just make an agreement
Speaker 2: that you're not gonna that you don't have to think
Speaker 2: about it for a year. It's okay for you.
Speaker 1: That's interesting, Like do that test of like let's you know,
Speaker 1: we'll revisit this later. Yeah, you can always get back
Speaker 1: to it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then yeah, constant just yeah, just anything really,
Speaker 2: anything that you're trying to push yourself through or you're
Speaker 2: trying to redirect your attention.
Speaker 1: I've been trying to just let go. I mean, I've
Speaker 1: read that book letting Go. I didn't finish it because
Speaker 1: I just need to absorb it all. I haven't let
Speaker 1: go with the book even but I'm just find that
Speaker 1: when I let go, like my relationship has improved so
Speaker 1: much since I've just done this thing of like letting
Speaker 1: people off, like letting go, like just stop trying.
Speaker 2: To game here off the hook, like.
Speaker 1: It's true if you just let go. But then I
Speaker 1: also realized that so many of my achievements are not
Speaker 1: from letting go. They're from working very hard and putting
Speaker 1: a ton of pressure on myself. So I just don't
Speaker 1: know which is which. But I do know that with singing,
Speaker 1: I'm like really hitting a roadblock. I'm so disappointed with myself.
Speaker 1: I sang. The thing about singing is we did karaoke
Speaker 1: this weekend for my birthday, and I love it so much,
Speaker 1: But I always suffer a depression after the night after,
Speaker 1: like when I go home and sleep. None of my
Speaker 1: friends know this, that's saying with me, But I go
Speaker 1: through a depression because I don't sound as good as
Speaker 1: I want to sound, and I'm like taking less I
Speaker 1: can hear myself. There's a microphone it's amplified and everyone
Speaker 1: knows you know when you do good, like people say wow.
Speaker 2: Like the get quiet back and people actually listen.
Speaker 1: Yes, Like my dad gets showered with accolades when he
Speaker 1: sings because he's a really good singer. So I know
Speaker 1: what the bar is. I know what people will say
Speaker 1: when you're good, and I'm not expecting that, like I'm
Speaker 1: not like no one said it was good. Please to
Speaker 1: the girls listening from the girls Chat, Yeah you did
Speaker 1: not disappoint me by not saying I was good singer.
Speaker 1: I want it when I deserve it. But I just
Speaker 1: didn't deserve it.
Speaker 2: But because.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, and they would never plagate me like that,
Speaker 1: I really trust them not to. But because I can
Speaker 1: see through all of Yeah I could, I could see
Speaker 1: through it. They'd be like, you're right, bit jab. But
Speaker 1: I just went to a voice lesson today and it
Speaker 1: was just another he's just like you. Your voice is
Speaker 1: in you. You are just like holding it back because
Speaker 1: you're so scared of what it will sound like if
Speaker 1: you let go of it. You're not like you want
Speaker 1: it on, You have it on a leash. So I
Speaker 1: have to be like non monogamous with my voice. Like
Speaker 1: the way I want to be with like I like
Speaker 1: I always talk about non monogamy of like I don't
Speaker 1: really care. Like I wouldn't care if Chris hooked up
Speaker 1: with another girl because I don't want. I don't want
Speaker 1: him to obviously, but he has the to me, he
Speaker 1: has the option, which he never would go through with.
Speaker 1: But he does have the option to me because I don't.
Speaker 1: I want a dog that's off leash. I want a
Speaker 1: dog that chooses to be with me, even though it
Speaker 1: has chicken. But my voice, I'm so scared of it
Speaker 1: sounding bad that I'm always like keeping it in. So
Speaker 1: I've been doing a lot of manifestations of letting go
Speaker 1: and trying to I'm like really deep in the manifestation community.
Speaker 1: Neville Goddard. Have you heard of him? Have you ever
Speaker 1: gotten into that? Oh my god. Well it's based in
Speaker 1: like science and physics and quantum physics. I believe it,
Speaker 1: and it like you can have you can like get
Speaker 1: money from manifest Okay, it's crazy, but I.
Speaker 3: Mean not to sing like I have money, I have this,
Speaker 3: I have a new sub and then you write it
Speaker 3: in the but you.
Speaker 1: Have to you have to like feel it though the
Speaker 1: problem is I can't convince myself it's already happened. I've
Speaker 1: already manifested one thing it's happening. I'm not even gonna
Speaker 1: say what it is because I've already did it and
Speaker 1: it hasn't it is happened. It's there's just no way
Speaker 1: it's gonna happen because I'm so sure of it. So
Speaker 1: I don't need to manifest that one anymore. But there
Speaker 1: are ones, like I'm trying to manifest being a good singer,
Speaker 1: and it's just not every time I do it. I
Speaker 1: do these, Man, it's right before you go to sleep.
Speaker 1: You're supposed to do it right before you fall asleep.
Speaker 1: There's like this window where you're in kind of like
Speaker 1: a twilight, you know, right before you go asleep, but
Speaker 1: you're like still awake. That's where your body's really relaxed
Speaker 1: enough to change change your life and and project all
Speaker 1: these changes into your physical matter. Like you can get
Speaker 1: bigger boobs from doing it, like people have reported clear
Speaker 1: skin overnight, bigger boobs in fifteen minutes. Like this ship
Speaker 1: will happen if you tap into the but it's really
Speaker 1: hard to do because you have to relax completely and
Speaker 1: you have to fucking believe that it's already is real.
Speaker 1: You don't have to believe, like what would it be
Speaker 1: like to have big boobs like whoa, they're growing? You
Speaker 1: have to like feel in your body you have big
Speaker 1: tits and know what that would feel like and feel
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just like.
Speaker 2: This.
Speaker 1: One girl on my subreddit was like about Nevill Goddard,
Speaker 1: who is the guy that created this kind of form
Speaker 1: of manifestation. She was like, I had a bra that
Speaker 1: was too big, and I just decided to like, oh
Speaker 1: what if I just tried to get Like, let me
Speaker 1: just instead of returning this because it's such a passle
Speaker 1: to return, I'll just see if I can do a
Speaker 1: fifteen minute manifestation fit yes, And she was like, I
Speaker 1: thought it would be like maybe a week of doing it.
Speaker 1: She was like I tried it on later because I
Speaker 1: literally didn't have another broad a wear and it was
Speaker 1: fifteen minutes later my boobs fit in it. Who knows
Speaker 1: if the shit is real? I'm gonna have to try this,
Speaker 1: but I really do. I am a skeptic about everything,
Speaker 1: and I think that there's something to this.
Speaker 2: I mean, you maybe subconsciously directed your brain to send
Speaker 2: more like fluid to the tits to make them bigger.
Speaker 3: I think you can.
Speaker 2: You probably have control over things within your own body
Speaker 2: to a degree. Yeah, so maybe it's possible.
Speaker 1: I'm about to purge so much stuff.
Speaker 3: Taylor.
Speaker 1: We got to go because Taylor is going to get
Speaker 1: rid of that suitcase is filled with purge, and then
Speaker 1: that there's another suitcase that's filled with purge. But I
Speaker 1: want to go through another one and just make a
Speaker 1: pile of purge stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I just want to get rid of everything in my life,
Speaker 1: get rid of chords. I just got it. I got
Speaker 1: to get rid of her keeping moment. I got a
Speaker 1: new computer, I got a new phone today, and I'm
Speaker 1: getting a new car soon, and I'm getting I'm just
Speaker 1: upgrading all the things that will keep my life simple.
Speaker 3: I'll take this cash payout of two dollars. It's a
Speaker 3: good purpose.
Speaker 1: Oh is that a there's a yeah, great, here's a
Speaker 1: scratch a ticket right over there. Oh yeah, take it.
Speaker 1: Getting rid of that, getting rid of that two dollars.
Speaker 2: This is like literally spring cleaning.
Speaker 1: You're letting go.
Speaker 2: This is what's happening. It's spring or is it summer? Now?
Speaker 1: It's not so summer till twenty first. I'm getting rid
Speaker 1: of stuff. I just it's too much. I'm feeling cluttered,
Speaker 1: I'm feeling too small in my space. Got to get
Speaker 1: rid of stuff. Even though I did go to Target
Speaker 1: yesterday and I got some new stuff.
Speaker 3: So one in, one out.
Speaker 1: Okay, you gotta get rid of old ship. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: gotta get rid of T shirts. But what do you
Speaker 1: do with T shirts that have sentimental valley?
Speaker 3: You just put them at the thrift store and let
Speaker 3: it go.
Speaker 1: Let go.
Speaker 3: It's hard, I know, because you have you have T
Speaker 3: shirts from like every show you've done, and.
Speaker 2: I have one little I have one container for sentimental
Speaker 2: T shirts and that's where all the sentimental T shirts go,
Speaker 2: or sentimental things even yeah, one Ben, yeah, one Ben.
Speaker 2: You know't don't want to get rid of all like
Speaker 2: I have. I still up shirts from like the deli
Speaker 2: I worked at at high school, or like my group
Speaker 2: in college, and I don't want.
Speaker 3: To get rid of those I had high school shirt
Speaker 3: because one day there will be like a Nikki museum
Speaker 3: and you can frame them. I do want things, yeah,
Speaker 3: but I just make sure it's a bin and then
Speaker 3: you if it gets too full, you go through and
Speaker 3: you go. Look, I don't really need this.
Speaker 1: Okay, we got to go stack some. We got to
Speaker 1: go stuff some stack and sentimental stuff and Bin's Thank
Speaker 1: you guys for listening to the podcast. We will be
Speaker 1: here next week on the show. Don't you think we
Speaker 1: won't This weekend Salt Lake City, Boulder, Colorado. Two shows
Speaker 1: on Saturday night next week Indianapolis and Cleveland. Yeah, it'll
Speaker 1: be so fun. Two shows in Boulder. So excited. Thank
Speaker 1: you for coming to shows so many At niku lazer
Speaker 1: dot com. I'm literally on tour every single week for
Speaker 1: the rest of the year, so so I'm going everywhere.
Speaker 1: If I'm not near you just you just drive a
Speaker 1: couple hours and you'll hit me. Can't wait to see
Speaker 1: you guys on the road. Thank you for listening to
Speaker 1: the podcast. Thank you for being besties. Thank you to
Speaker 1: the person who came to the girls at Starbucks this
Speaker 1: weekend and said, is this girl's chat live and then
Speaker 1: just left. It was the coolest driver. And shout out
Speaker 1: to Andrew, my new bestie friend at Whole Foods. I
Speaker 1: love you too. All right, Thank you guys for listening.
Speaker 1: We'll see you next time. It'll be good bye
Speaker 3: Bye you'll be good