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Speaker 1: My brother demanded I move my wedding date two months

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Speaker 1: before the wedding. That's too soon.

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Speaker 2: No, he just wants a new brother. That bad.

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Speaker 1: He's like, move it even closer. So I, twenty eight female,

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Speaker 1: am getting married in two months. My fiance twenty nine Mail,

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Speaker 1: and I have been planning this wedding for over a year.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow.

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Speaker 1: We picked the venue, sent out, saved the dates last year,

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Speaker 1: and everyone is known about the date for ages like

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Speaker 1: we're all in. The venue is booked, caterers, flowers, photographer.

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Speaker 1: Basically everything is set and deposits have been paid. At

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Speaker 1: this point, we're just counting down the days, excited to

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Speaker 1: get married and celebrate with everyone. By the way, this

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Speaker 1: comes from Master Reach nineteen seventy seven on the arsas

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Speaker 1: joke storytime Separate it. So enter my younger brother, twenty

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Speaker 1: five Mail.

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Speaker 2: He's gotta have a name, Jim.

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Speaker 3: Jim.

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Speaker 1: He just got into the super competitive internship program that

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Speaker 1: he's been wanting to for a while, and he's over

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Speaker 1: the moon about it.

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Speaker 2: Congrade Jim Nice.

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Speaker 1: I'm genuinely happy for him because I know this is

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Speaker 1: a big deal for his career. The problem is he

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Speaker 1: found out the start date is the same week as

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Speaker 1: my wedding, and he told me he can't come anymore. Obviously,

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Speaker 1: I was disappointed, but I assumed he'd be a little

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Speaker 1: bummed too, and we'd move on instead. He asked me

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Speaker 1: if i'd consider changing the wedding date. At first I

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Speaker 1: thought he was joking, but nope, dead serious. He's all,

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Speaker 1: this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I

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Speaker 1: really don't want to miss your wedding, but I can't

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Speaker 1: be in two places at once.

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Speaker 3: Interesting just clone yourself. It's weird that, like, OPI didn't

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Speaker 3: say that. Yeah, like it's a once in a lifetime thing.

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Speaker 3: Did you just have the day off?

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Speaker 4: What?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Come on, I told him, there's literally no way

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Speaker 1: I'm changing the date where two months out everything is booked,

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Speaker 1: invites have been sent, guests have rsvp'ed, and people have

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Speaker 1: already planned time off and booked hotels. Not to mention,

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Speaker 1: moving a wedding isn't as simple as just picking another day,

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Speaker 1: especially at this point. There's a whole cascade of other

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Speaker 1: stuff I'd have to move, and that's if the venue

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Speaker 1: even has another date open anytime soon. He got annoyed

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Speaker 1: and basically said, so you care more about a party

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Speaker 1: than your brother's future.

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Speaker 3: Wow, it seems like you care more about yourself than

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Speaker 3: your sister's.

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Speaker 1: Future future, which really pissed me off. Like, come on,

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Speaker 1: it's not like I didn't give everyone, including him, a

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Speaker 1: huge heads up about this date. He's known for over

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Speaker 1: a year. I get that the internship is important, but

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Speaker 1: it's not like he couldn't have communicated with them and

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Speaker 1: tried to work something out.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 1: He could have said yeah, after he got the thing.

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Speaker 1: I could have said, hey, I have one conflict.

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Speaker 2: Do you know anyone like this that would ask you

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Speaker 2: to do something like this? I don't think I do.

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Speaker 3: They're huge narcissism. It's pretty crazy. I'm like trying to

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Speaker 3: think of this as me.

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Speaker 2: No O. I was like, no, no, not you. Okay,

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Speaker 2: you're very considerate.

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Speaker 1: Oh thank you, that's very nice.

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Speaker 2: Well too consider it sometimes.

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Speaker 1: Now my mom is all over me about it, saying

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Speaker 1: that I'll regret not having him there, and that why

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Speaker 1: does she not understand, and that I'm being selfish by

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Speaker 1: not even considering changing the date. You should say okay

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Speaker 1: and then come back like an hour later. I've considered it,

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Speaker 1: and I'm not changing the date.

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Speaker 2: So the mom's mad. Yeah, has she never been married before?

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Speaker 1: Apparently not. She doesn't know what goes into it. What

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Speaker 1: she's implying that family is more important than one day.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like this is the one day that

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Speaker 1: is actually about me and my fiance. Also, if the

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Speaker 1: family is more important than one day, then he'll get

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Speaker 1: over it. This is, in her words, just one day.

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Speaker 1: This is the one day that's actually about me and

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Speaker 1: my fiance. And I don't think it's fair to be

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Speaker 1: expected to turn my life upside down to accommodate his work.

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Speaker 1: My dad is staying out of it, classic, but I

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Speaker 1: can tell he thinks I'm being a bit unreasonable too,

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Speaker 1: what is up with his family? Yance is backing me up,

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Speaker 1: but I can tell he feels weird about the whole thing.

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Speaker 1: He's a big family guy and doesn't want any drama.

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Speaker 1: But he also knows how much we've already put into

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Speaker 1: this wedding, thousands of dollars of dollars they can pay

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Speaker 1: if they want to move the wedding. Who the brother

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Speaker 1: and the family?

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Speaker 2: Yeah true, I'm just like, why not pay or playing

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Speaker 2: to get.

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Speaker 1: Yeah right, I just don't understand. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: sound like, I don't care about my brother because I do.

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Speaker 1: I love him and I hate that he won't be there.

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Speaker 1: But at the same time, I don't think it's it's

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Speaker 1: reasonable to ask someone to change their wedding date this close.

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Speaker 1: It's not like we're talking about a birthday party or something.

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Speaker 1: This is a whole wedding though. Yeah, am I the

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Speaker 1: a hole for refusing to change the date and basically

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Speaker 1: telling him if he can't come, that's on him? Or

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Speaker 1: should I be more flexible here? And there are some

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Speaker 1: relevant comments to finish the story off.

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Speaker 2: Fick SMUs says, sounds like the brother is the Golden Shop.

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Speaker 1: I think so, because this is a really ridiculous request

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Speaker 1: to expect that op. Should you know fulfill this is

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Speaker 1: two months before a wedding that they've spent thousands of.

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Speaker 2: Dollars on In today's economy, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't. It's not just like as simple as literally

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Speaker 1: being like, oh well, just push it to the next day.

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Speaker 1: You don't know if you can get the venue that

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Speaker 1: you're at. You don't know if other people can do

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Speaker 1: that day.

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Speaker 3: The caterers, can they move that day? The videographers of

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Speaker 3: photographers or they also booked those weekends.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what's ridiculous, Laiko Karen says, you can't move mountains

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Speaker 1: for him. You can't screw over for everyone else who

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Speaker 1: saved the date. There's no argument here. The date is

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Speaker 1: the date.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 1: I get that he doesn't want to make waves, but

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Speaker 1: my sister's wedding seems like an easy ask. Is it

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Speaker 1: on a weekday? Why can't he do both? Tabil Butterfly

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Speaker 1: says this a lot of times, travel, hotels, time off

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Speaker 1: can't be rescheduled. Everyone else planned accordingly. They shouldn't all

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Speaker 1: be screwed over for one person. And David says, I

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Speaker 1: guess it's because it is a very competitive internship program,

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Speaker 1: especially since its start date is the same week as

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Speaker 1: the wedding. Don't you agree that if he did that

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Speaker 1: in his first week, that would be a huge red

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Speaker 1: flag for his managers. Just to be clear, OPI is

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Speaker 1: not the a hole, but it looks like you didn't

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Speaker 1: get the first part of the story right. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It would be maybe a red flag, but he has

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Speaker 1: to I don't know. I think you can talk to

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Speaker 1: your bosses about that. But he cannot ask his sister

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Speaker 1: to do this, and that is the end. Of that story.

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Speaker 1: My boyfriend's son is the worst. I'm walking away. My

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Speaker 1: fifty three female boyfriend fifty three male has a son,

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Speaker 1: age fourteen, who lives with his mother. In the past,

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Speaker 1: we had gotten a lot. However, about eighteen months ago

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Speaker 1: everything changed.

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Speaker 2: Uh oh.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from green eyed Magic on

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Speaker 1: the r slash ok storytime subreddit. Son did not like

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Speaker 1: living in our home due to the rules and boundaries

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Speaker 1: his father and I set up.

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Speaker 2: Only fifteen minutes of screen time.

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Speaker 1: That's a good one.

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Speaker 2: That's tough, one kid, I would do that. How well

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Speaker 2: are you supposed to watch vegetoes.

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Speaker 1: That's true, you're right?

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Speaker 2: Or play Minecraft? Yeah, you're right, you're right.

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Speaker 1: I think I had probably more, but that was only

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Speaker 1: in a fifth grade when I had electronics. So he

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Speaker 1: left and now lives with his mother. It is worth

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Speaker 1: mentioning there is a history of physical and emotional abuse

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Speaker 1: by the mother on her two children. She and my

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Speaker 1: boyfriend have been divorced over thirteen years now, and he

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Speaker 1: fought for custody rights in the divorce to try and

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Speaker 1: protect his children from her abuse. Unfortunately, both children keep

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Speaker 1: running back to their abuser. On to the current issue,

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Speaker 1: Son's mother was going out of town for the weekend

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Speaker 1: and had arrange for Son to stay with his father

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Speaker 1: in our home. The only stipulation with Son needed to

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Speaker 1: be taken home each day to feed their pet guinea pigs.

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Speaker 1: All arrangements were made and agreed upon, so my boyfriend

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Speaker 1: and I made some arrangements for fun activities for Son

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Speaker 1: while he stayed with us. We were to have Son

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Speaker 1: from Thursday night through Monday, and my boyfriend adjusted his

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Speaker 1: schedule to accommodate getting him to school and feeding the pets.

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Speaker 1: Friday morning, boyfriend drops Son off at home and he

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Speaker 1: was going to go to school from there. Later that morning,

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Speaker 1: boyfriend called me because Son had called, stating he had

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Speaker 1: an accident on his bicycle on his way to school

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Speaker 1: and could not attend because of it. Note Son is

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Speaker 1: notorious for skipping school at least twice a week and

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Speaker 1: mother always calls his absence in.

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Speaker 2: So it is excused, Oh boy.

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Speaker 1: Y'all need to drive this boy to the front door.

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Speaker 1: I was contacted because I was closest in distance at

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Speaker 1: the time, and I offered to pick Sun up and

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Speaker 1: take him to the hospital to make sure there was

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Speaker 1: no major injury or concussion. Son called his mother. He

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Speaker 1: was excused from school. I was told to step off

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Speaker 1: and the issue was over. Mom was extremely upset. Her

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Speaker 1: son called her while she was away and told her

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Speaker 1: boyfriend to leave her alone. Boyfri friend picked up son

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Speaker 1: after work and he stayed the night at our home.

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Speaker 1: By the way, Son never speaks to me anymore, doesn't

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Speaker 1: want anything to from me, so I give him just

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Speaker 1: that nothing. This is it seems like no one is

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Speaker 1: really parenting this child effectively to do whatever he wants.

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Speaker 1: And I think, I mean, I don't know. I understand that.

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Speaker 1: You know, parents are busy and don't necessarily always have

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Speaker 1: the time to you know, some parents are able to

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Speaker 1: drive their kids to school. Some parents have to have

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Speaker 1: their kids take the bus like in that sense. But here,

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Speaker 1: I do think one solution if your child keeps skipping

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Speaker 1: school is to drive them and watch them go into

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Speaker 1: the school. That's I mean, it depends on their situation.

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Speaker 1: But Saturday, boyfriend took son and started on his day

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Speaker 1: of errands, a few chores around the house and plan

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Speaker 1: to take Son on a four by four off road

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Speaker 1: adventure in the afternoon. During their time together, a boyfriend

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Speaker 1: talked to son about skipping school and try to offer

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Speaker 1: some guidance father son talk. Son complained that the way

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Speaker 1: the world works is unfair, then had an emotional meltdown

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Speaker 1: over it, full on crying. It's his go to move

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Speaker 1: to get his way.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, that's crazy.

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Speaker 1: One Aaron was talking was taking son to his home

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Speaker 1: to feed the guinea pigs. Boyfriend waited over an hour

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Speaker 1: in his car for some to come back so they

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Speaker 1: can continue the day. Boyfriend was playing games on his

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Speaker 1: phone and didn't realize the amount of time that passed.

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Speaker 1: How did you not realize an hour past? Son did

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Speaker 1: not communicate anything to his father, would not answer the door,

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Speaker 1: and when boyfriend called him, Son said he was not

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Speaker 1: going with him and locked him in the apartment. The

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Speaker 1: upsetting part about this is that son didn't bother to

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Speaker 1: tell anyone he had planned this and left his father

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Speaker 1: outside to wait. When boyfriend got home, we discussed some options. Wait,

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Speaker 1: you just left your fourteen year old.

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Speaker 2: This stude's already an adult. He gets a calls on shots.

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Speaker 1: Apparently, In the end, it was decided boyfriend would go

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Speaker 1: to collect his son in the evening and if son

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Speaker 1: refused to come or communicate with him he would have

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Speaker 1: to get the police involved. Reminder, mom is out of

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Speaker 1: town and he had already stated she did not want

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Speaker 1: to be bothered. There was a one hour showdown and

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Speaker 1: son would not come out of the apartment. He did

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Speaker 1: not answer calls from his father and turned out all

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Speaker 1: the lights pretending Noam's home. Boyfriend then called the police. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it seems like neither bio parent is willing to actually

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Speaker 1: put in the work to parent their child, and every

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Speaker 1: time Ope gets tries to, she gets shut down by

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Speaker 1: everyone involved. So yeah, I don't know what you do here,

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Speaker 1: but I know that you guys can join us live

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Speaker 1: every weekday on YouTube at three pm PST. Just tap

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Speaker 1: her profile. I showed up just as the police were

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Speaker 1: talking with the son in the apartment. Police said they

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Speaker 1: spoke with his mother and she gave permission for her

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Speaker 1: fourteen year old to stay in the apartment overnight alone.

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Speaker 1: She's just doing the same thing that she does with

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Speaker 1: the school, Like he skips school and she's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I told me he could do that.

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Speaker 2: He covers for him.

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Speaker 1: She covers for him every time. This is not how

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Speaker 1: you parents.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna be the downfall of your child.

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Speaker 1: Yes, police also said son felt threatened by father, made

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Speaker 1: accusations of abuse and had another hysterical breakdown. After some

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Speaker 1: discussion and laughing at the police advice, the mother and

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Speaker 1: son needed therapy. They'll never do it, we laughed. This

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Speaker 1: was the last straw for me. I told my boyfriend

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Speaker 1: that I will support him every way I can regarding

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Speaker 1: his relationship with his son, but I refuse to be

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Speaker 1: in the same situation or same vicinity of that boy

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Speaker 1: ever again. Should his son need to be in our

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Speaker 1: home for any reason, I will not be any vacations

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Speaker 1: planned which include the son. I will not participate or attend.

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Speaker 1: It seems harsh, but I refuse to get in the

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Speaker 1: way of my boyfriend's relationship with his son, and I

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Speaker 1: refuse to be around to see how this boy disrespects

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Speaker 1: everyone because he believes that the world should revolve around him.

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Speaker 1: I do not want to witness his disrespectful attitude, hear

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Speaker 1: how he speaks to his father and grandmother, nor do

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Speaker 1: I believe I have to. It hurts me to do this,

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Speaker 1: but I have reached a point where I believe I

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Speaker 1: have no other choice. So am I the a hole? No,

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Speaker 1: I don't think you have to put up with this.

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Speaker 1: It seems like everyone's being just kind of letting this

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Speaker 1: slide and you're being affected by it.

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Speaker 3: So the closest thing I can think of that I

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Speaker 3: could relate to is if I was with someone and

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Speaker 3: they treated their dog badly or their dog was act

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Speaker 3: I would get yick and you probably want to leave.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I'm always like people have like badly behaved dogs. Well,

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Speaker 1: you know, obviously sometimes you get like a you adopt

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Speaker 1: a dog, and there's stuff, But if you just have

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Speaker 1: a dog that you're not even trying to train, and.

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Speaker 3: The way you talk to the dog or the way

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Speaker 3: you react with the dog, indeed, this is crazy. If

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Speaker 3: you do not enable, you will not have entitlement issues

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Speaker 3: with your child. Just dump the man, Savannah Baba.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he was like, I don't want to make him choose,

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Speaker 1: So I think that we need to like either.

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Speaker 2: Just break up.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, do you think my dad is a bad dad?

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Speaker 5: And this actually is a listener submission. Your mom is Shrek.

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Speaker 5: They submitted to our slash Okop show on Reddit, and

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Speaker 5: so we're gonna this is actually the second story that

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Speaker 5: we've read from your mam' Shrek.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, your mama Shrek.

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Speaker 5: Thank you for being so active in a love your

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Speaker 5: little community. We love you absolutely. Okay, but this one,

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Speaker 5: this one gets a little serious. So Johnny you ready.

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Speaker 4: I'm buckled in.

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Speaker 5: Okay, Hey guys again, I just wanted to say thank

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Speaker 5: you so much for the advice. My best friend told

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Speaker 5: me how they were so proud of me for posting

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Speaker 5: my story because I struggled to talk about it. We're

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Speaker 5: proud of you too. So on to the story. Since

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Speaker 5: what happened to my mom, my dad has taken me in.

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Speaker 5: He was also going through a divorce. He was not

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Speaker 5: getting a divorce with my mom. They were getting a

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Speaker 5: divorce because they were not happy and had a miscarriage.

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Speaker 5: Geez rough. My dad was very depressed, which I did

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Speaker 5: not see because I was a very happy seven year old. Okay,

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Speaker 5: so I guess we're back in time a little bit.

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Speaker 5: He basically straight up, after getting divorced, got into a relationship.

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Speaker 2: I liked her.

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Speaker 5: She taught me a lot, but she was not my

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Speaker 5: mom and more of a friend. On New Year's in

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Speaker 5: twenty twenty two, they broke up. He told me the

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Speaker 5: worst things about her, and I could not say anything

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Speaker 5: because it was not my place too, which actually, you know,

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Speaker 5: it's probably not like a great thing for your dad

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Speaker 5: to do. Oh not in general, to like, you know,

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Speaker 5: trash talk someone he dated, Like you know, I get,

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Speaker 5: I get maybe being a little angry if the breakup

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Speaker 5: was bad, but yeah, not the best thing to tell

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Speaker 5: your kid, agreed. After they broke up, her son had

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Speaker 5: to move out, which took around six to eight months.

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Speaker 5: I was very depressed because my dad has become a

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Speaker 5: bit of an alcoholic and his ex girlfriend would feel unsafe.

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Speaker 5: She would shout at me and call the police, but

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Speaker 5: I didn't. When they moved out, my dad started dad NonStop,

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Speaker 5: and he brings a new girl every week, and I'm

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Speaker 5: tired of it. I'd be tired of my roommate bringing

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Speaker 5: someone home new every week too, Honestly. I tried to

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Speaker 5: talk to him, but he says I'm stopping him from

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Speaker 5: finding love, which I think is byes. My dad said

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Speaker 5: of the family is fifty to fifty. So I don't

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Speaker 5: know what to do. I have been talking with my

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Speaker 5: friends and they say he's a bad dad. So is

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Speaker 5: my dad a bad dad? I mean, we only have

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Speaker 5: so much information on this, right, yeah, yeah, so we

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Speaker 5: can't give sweeping generalized advice or you know, designations if

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Speaker 5: someone's a bad dad. But before we give our breakdown,

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Speaker 5: love to hear what you guys in the comments think.

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Speaker 5: This is this is one of our own. This is

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Speaker 5: from the Okay gang, So let us know what you think.

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Speaker 5: Your mom is Shrek to do? John, what are your thoughts?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, man, I mean definitely, Like so talking to your

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Speaker 4: family saying it was fifty fifty and once again you

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Speaker 4: know we're not experts, but of course you ask and

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Speaker 4: we will always share our thoughts and opinions because we

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Speaker 4: love you. I think if there's fifty percent of the

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Speaker 4: family that does agreeing basically that it's like not a

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Speaker 4: good environment essentially, that's I think what it kind of

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Speaker 4: boils down to, Like I wonder if talking to them

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Speaker 4: and seeing like is there a way where, like potentially

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Speaker 4: living with one of them, if there's a better situation,

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Speaker 4: or even even just their advice, because it sounds like

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Speaker 4: they get.

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Speaker 5: From all they would have more information, you know.

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Speaker 4: They would have more information exactly, and you know, from everything,

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Speaker 4: it sounds like this is not a good environment or

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Speaker 4: one that you deserve to grow up. And I think,

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Speaker 4: if I remember correctly, from the first story op is

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Speaker 4: eleven right now.

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Speaker 2: Ye, my memory serves me correct.

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Speaker 4: So I think talking with the fifty percent of the

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Speaker 4: family that does agree with you for just advice and

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Speaker 4: just just talk to them in general, I feel like

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Speaker 4: would be a good move.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I think so too. You know, I don't want

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Speaker 5: to say anyone is bad. A lot of us are

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Speaker 5: just doing the best we can with the circumstances for given.

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Speaker 5: But it doesn't seem like your dad is like being

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Speaker 5: as good of a role model as he could be,

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Speaker 5: you know. And you know, parenting is hard and it

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Speaker 5: takes a lot of like dedication and poor thought. And

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Speaker 5: I think think from what you're saying, like you know,

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Speaker 5: from the alcoholism to shouting at his ex girlfriend to

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Speaker 5: you know, talking really terribly about that ex girlfriend to

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Speaker 5: bringing home a new girl every week, it just doesn't

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Speaker 5: sound like the most stable environment. And like you know,

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Speaker 5: as a kid, you need a stable environment. So I

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Speaker 5: would definitely talk to like what John said, talk to

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Speaker 5: the other side of the family, see what they can

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Speaker 5: do to help, because this is not an ideal environment,

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Speaker 5: I think for you.

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Speaker 4: Exactly, Yeah, I think that's the way to look at it.

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Speaker 4: Whether it's like like maybe even not even specifically about

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Speaker 4: your dad, but is this the best place? Is this

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Speaker 4: the best Yeah environment for you to be in right now?

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Speaker 4: Half your family sounds like they're in your corner, so

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Speaker 4: I would talk to that for sure.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, keep us updated, OP, please do, and also anyone

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Speaker 5: watching it, feel free to give some advice if you've

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Speaker 5: been in a situation similar, or if you haven't, just

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Speaker 5: have something that you want to say. I would love

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Speaker 5: to hear from you.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely,